Woman couldn't reach the login page of her hosting account.

After 15 minutes of debugging she found out that her Internet wasn't turned on.

This shit is the fucking reason why I drink alcohol.

‪I use Linux because I enjoy unexpectedly learning how to mount an encrypted disk after a software update deletes the boot directory... on a Thursday night while other people drink beer.

Was working and decided to go get a drink so I Took my headphones off.
Just in time to hear a colleague say: (in Dutch it sounds better) Beste Bob, krijg de tering.

English equivilant: dear bob, go fuck yourself.

Giggled hard 😆

I don't trust devs who don't drink coffee or tea. It's unnatural.

Girl: you don't...see sharp
Me: I'm... Not a Java developer
Girl: I never said you were
Me: but why make that joke?
Girl: what joke? You hit your head on a beam tripped over a chair and missed your drink. You clearly need glasses
Me: *gets glasses* oh your not a girl 😳

Dear fellow devs, I would like to remind you to get up and drink a glass of water once in a while.

At least drink enough so that your pee is clear. Just trying to look out for you guys.

I get it, you drink coffee!

I was in the airport VIP lounge in route to Seattle a couple of weeks ago. While in there, I noticed Bill Gates sitting comfortably in the corner, enjoying a drink. I was meeting a very important client who was also flying to Seattle, but she was running a little bit late.

Well, being a straightforward kind of guy, I approached the Microsoft chairman, introduced myself, and said, "Mr. Gates, I wonder if you would do me a favor."

"Yes?"

"I'm sitting right over there," pointing to my seat at the bar, "and I'm waiting on a very important client. Would you be so kind when she arrives as to come walk by and just say, 'Hi, Ray,'?"

"Sure."

I shook his hand and thanked him and went back to my seat.

About ten minutes later, my client showed up. We ordered a drink and started to talk business.

A couple of minutes later, I felt a tap on my shoulder. It was Bill Gates.

"Hi, Ray," he said.

I replied, "Get lost Gates, I'm in a meeting."

Recipe of cold coffee.
Step 1: Make Coffee
Step 2: Start Coding
Step 3: Forget you made Coffee
Step 4: Drink it Cold

Don't say thank you I understand!

When you drink a little too much and wake up to find you wrote a program called baconTranslator that translates everything you type to 'I love bacon"...

Can't get into details but today took probably like 10 years of my life in the form of stress. On top of that I'm currently the on call Linux engineer so I can't drink much 😥

God fucking damnit.

Just had to get that out.

Just needed to

My boss asked me if he could smoke one before starting the interview. So I went down with him and lighted one up as well. Then we started to talk as if we were friends since years after I told him I like to drink alcohol from time to time (he asked :D) . Afterwards he just asked me if I know Java and stuff and I was like "sure ez pz". We still have drinking competitions on every company event. Best boss ever

Am I the only one around here who does not drink coffee?

Since git, sometimes I drink and code until I pass out

Today I woke up with good working code that I don’t even remember writing

If I can't buy u a drink, atleast let me fix your laptop.
#geeksPickUpLine
😂😂

I've always drunk very less water compared to others. So I decided to install this app that'll remind me to drink water every now and then. Since, healthy body, healthy mind.

Was going through comments when I found this.
Well, I mean he's right in a sense, you know.

When I drink and code at home I put "while drunk" at the end of a commit so I know which ones to look back over later. This system worked great for me until yesterday when I included that in a PR for a work repo.

Some do drugs, others drink, some others smoke. I debug code.

Everybody die their own way.

I ranted about my coworker trying to shoulder surf me last week.

Yesterday, he bought a mini Monster energy drink fridge and put it under his desk.

Me: "Oh cool. I don't have to go all the way to the kitchen to raid a fridge now :-P"
Him: "I'm gonna put a lock on it."
His Boss: "You know he teaches a lockpicking class at the hackerspace, right?"
Me: *headphones back on"

Me yesterday. I dont have my laptop now...

When you are chewing mentos and because you are thirsty, you drink coke.

SPRINKLE ALL OVER MY DESK!

Conversations between 2 java programmers.

Me: How it's possible that your code works?
Frank: I don't know. I try 10 times, and each time, I get an error.
Then I take a break...
Eat a humburger, play ping pong, drink coffee.
Me: That's it?
Frank: Yes
Me: I need a break...

What do you guys do when you get bored at work?

this is what I do:

1. Drink Water
2. Stare at the code
3. Go to Bathroom
4. repeat

Will I be a great programmer if I don't like coffee (I prefer tea)?
I don't drink coffee.

I turned fucking 18!!! Finally it's legal for me to drink beer!!

Gotta try coding while bring drunk😱 I wonder what it would be like.

I just almost shat myself.

I altered the wrong database table column...truncated data we are required to keep for government compliance.

Luckily I had exported that table earlier today and was able to recover it all. I'm in need of a very strong drink right about now.

My boss is on my line and isn't on mute. I can hear him drink his coffee. I'm much too annoyed for this shit right now.

I'm a bad influence.

It's been a tradition for me to keep a bottle of 'desk whiskey' buried in a drawer at work. A couple weeks ago, I started inviting cube mates over for a drink on Fridays as five pm rolled around.

Soon one of them brought in a bottle of scotch. Then another.
Started observing the afternoon drink on days other than Friday, more folks got involved...

Now the CTO talks about "Whiskey O' Clock" daily.

🍺

I drink too less, I sleep too less...
I think I need some documentation for my body

We aren't allowed to boil water BOIL WATER

"We have to get Climate Neutral until we decided for a plan the kitchen is closed"

FUCK YOU I JUST WANT TO ENJOY MY COFFEE WHICH I CAN'T DRINK IN MY OFFICE ANYMORE BECAUSE OF SAME BULLSHIT

I get it we have to become climate neutral but holy fuck this can't be part of the solution to not use the kitchen anymore....

I drink coffee cause we're not allowed to punch people at work.

Booking a hotel on booking.com

**only 3 rooms avaliable at this discounted price BOOK NOW**
**12 rooms booked just in the last 24 hours BOOK NOW**

*** HTML AND CSS FLASHING WEBSITE PANIC**

I call the hotel directly "sorry sir, we're closed for the season and currently renovating, will not be open till June"

I need a drink.

Is it normal my boss want me to pay for the coffee I drink at work? 🤔
He asks me €1 for 2 coffee capsules for his coffee machine, while each costs only 22 cents… fucking bastard.
And it doesn't even taste good…

Today I've been mocked by a fucking coffee machine.

So I was at a small train station, everything was already closed except for a small coffee machine

Dumb I, for whatever fucking reason, decided it'd be a great idea to get a highly overpriced cup there.

Now, the fucker made me the drink but instead of giving change, it started "shooting" coins in my direction (there was no flap on change box)

As I'm picking up my change, this abomination of a machine performs a cleanup, spitting some shit into my drink

I couldnt drink it obviously .. threw the overprices drink away, bought another one... Got shot with coins again... Whata pain... Just to figure out... There's no more cups 😭😭

It made the drink into the tray...

AaaAaAAAaaaaAAA

Fml

Confession:
I don't drink coffee.

I drink so much coffee. I sweat coffee. I pee coffee. I probably emit coffee waves into the air and get other people caffeinated. Here's to all of my fellow coffee-emitting programmers!

I am programmer for over 1 year and still don't drink coffee and other alcoholic drinks to be energetic😅

I code, drink, and from Java (yes it's an actual place). Except my life doesn't run on JVM. Or does it?

… I need a drink.

!rant

Am I the only dev who doesn't drink coffee?

Not drinking coffee makes me a bad coder? 🤔

Walk into work.
Sit at desk.
Open Outlook.
*Sees 3 meeting invites for today*
...This is why I drink...

I started drink tea instead coffee and my code is so much better now.

Am I the only programmer that doesn't drink coffee?

My Father's day gift from my wife. 😁

Should make my application development a little more badass as I drink from it.

\m/

I drink hoping that one day I’ll invent something when I’m drunk bcz drunk me is smarter than sober me.

Was developing WordPress plugin. On the last step, i need to check if the remove DB table functionality when user uninstall the plugin is work. uninstalling plugin, check phpMyAdmin, and yes the table is gone. Also the plugin, which i dont have any backup. I need to drink....

Ticket : "I have a blank page when I load this page"
I open the script (php), I see at least 7 nested foreach loop starting with a 2600+ long array. I spot the buggy loop. I mark the ticket "may need refactoring". I go drink a beer with colleagues.

So how is your Friday?

Well let me tell ya, fixed a production issue and I'm totally exhausted and to top it off my girlfriend broke up with me.

I need a fucking drink!

Sorry guys, I don't like coffee :o same for tea though, I just drink water.

THE NEXT FUCKIN TIME I SEE SOMEONE SAY "hay, how do loop python PLZ HELP" instead of asking a goddamn search engine IM GONNA FIND YOU AND SLIP YOUR FUCKIN THROAT WHILE I KICK YOU ON YOUR FUCKIN RIBS WITH ALL MY POWER AND SLOWLY DRINK MY COFFEE AFTER THAT.

Alright, so the "big e-commerce" site have ranted about a few times decided to move their site to google, because the developers blame our server to be the issue.

Well, I wish I had a couple of beer to drink while I am enjoying the downtime, servercrashes, and timeout on the site now. I hope the devs eat their own shit, because they are.

I gotta say... this shit is actually really strong especially when you grind it to espresso “dust”.... and put it in a Moka Pot.... don’t drink more than 2 coffee cups full .... it’s crazy

I don't really drink alcohol, but every time I look at my (old) code, it looks like I was drunk when writing it.

I made it to 700 ++'s

I can finally have the energy drink AND the coffee on my desk.

Finally I can live up to my name.

My coffee to water ratio in a cup is starting to be 1/2. I'm worried in the future I will be eating coffee not drink it anymore 😂

I have noticed on here, there is a direct correlation between the number of swear words in a post and that posts ++ count. As a programmer who doesn't swear (I know, "just give it a few years" or "YOUR NOT A REAL PROGRAMMER!!" [side note, I also don't drink coffee]), I guess my ++ counter will only ever be allocated 1 byte...

PM: Your code bombs! It’s supposed to put a link to the schedule here!

2 minutes earlier:
PM: *runs code with malformed data and two cancelled schedules*

I regretfully procrastinated the entire week so now I must suffer with my projects.

Both programming and non programming related.

I blame the fact I was distracted with Netflix, books, google docs, and devRant.

Well... Time to drink some coffee, even though I'm a coffee hater. The caffine in tea has no influence on me, so nasty coffee it is.

Today I had my first decent pull request accepted.

It wasn't the biggest problem, but it made a chrome extension not work, and the author and other users couldn't figure it out.

The author seems very chill and called me 'the man' and offered me a drink.
It felt nice.

I don't drink coffee. Anyone?

I don't drink coffee.

I don't drink coffee, I eat it.

The reason I drink a lot of water so that I can go to the washroom more often just to waste time while I'm at work.

I haven't been assigned any work for this week. Maybe I'll get fired. My manager isn't showing any appreciation towards my work.

*while drinking tea at cafe area*
me*thinking* : may be this is going to solve that error
yes
yess
yesssss

I got solution

but wait let's first drink this tea then I will try this solution

*came back on desk*

me*thinking* : -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

what was solution ? wtf?

In-laws don't drink coffee, they just pour it and let the mug warm their hands, thus hogging the coffee I could have drank.
What kind of monster family did I marry into?

The student life smell is strong with my Desktop too,
and no I don't have a problem I only drink and smoke socially also when a bug takes longer than an hour to fix...

Which is most of the time

Okay I might have a little problem

That moment when you write 'bar' instead of 'var' in your JS file.

Sometimes taking a break can really clear your head. Yesterday evening, I was programming with my mate and couldn't find a very persistent bug. Didn't want to get a break because I just wanted to solve it. He convinced me to go downstairs and get a drink. Reached the bottom of the stairs aaaaand poof, figured out the bug!

This happens more often than I care to admit.
I take a coffee, then I drink a sip.
Because it's too hot I put him aside.
Start working
Lose track of everything around me
Then when I am no longer distracted by the stupid bullshit line of code that I was stuck at, I go to drink the coffee and is FUCKING COLD!!!!!

1. Ability to freeze time... (except for internet & computer speed). Too many ideas, not enough hours in a day. Sleep should be declared optional as well.

2. Ability to not eat/drink at all, or eat/drink in copious quantities without negative effects. I enjoy a cognac, pizza & chocolate binge more than nausea, upwards BMI creep and hangovers.

3. True Virtual Reality. None of this headset crap, but immersiveness rivaling reality itself, with voice-controlled AI-assisted interfaces to "program" anything by simply describing it, iterating over details to add increasing complexities. Not even for porn reasons... my head just overflows with creative ideas for "holonovels" and interactive worldbuilding, but I don't have the patience nor artistic skills for game development.

Two programmers have been arrested and currently sit in a jail cell.

Programmer 1: Hey I think we had too much too drink.
Programmer 2: I believe that is a logically assumption.
Officer: You have a phone call.
Programmer 1: Yes, it's my lawyer!

Phone: Is Steve Smith ?
Programmer 1: Yes, who is this?
Phone: Hi, this is Jane calling from Tech Hub Recruiting....
Programmer 1: HOW DID YOU FIND ME?!

THX for 500++ !!! I'm so happy I found devRant by exident. I love reading rants and sometimes post my own stories.
PS: Now I can wear my JS Shirt and drink Red bull like in rl 😂 Thx again!

Think I am drinking an expired coffee.
Taste is a bit .. funny and loose.

Oh it might also be the ants. I found few ants in the sugar but I couldn't be bother removing them so I just poured coffee directly.

I should just stick to my energy drink or coke :3

Story time!

Like I mentioned in a previous rant, I’m (or was) a coca-cola addict. Coca-cola has caffeine, right?

This happened a tuesday. I forgot my mug at home (I wanted to draw it a bat🦇) so I bought a jumbo coffee at a store near my office. I drank it, and then, all my partners went to the kitchen for coffee. I went with them and I refilled my cup.

I was working on my code, and suddenly I felt a strange sensation on my chest (I don’t think I could describe it, it feels like when you have intestinal problems and gases, but in the chest). I didn’t give it importance. One hour later I started trembling. I googled my symptoms and I found I had a coffee overdose 😱 But how? I drank a lot of caffeine in soda, but this only happened to me with coffee. This lasted 5 hours 😓

You, specially the most experienced devs and coffee addicts, how can I drink more than 1 cup of coffe per day without trembling? Btw, I have no heart or pressure problems, so I don’t know... this happened because I don’t drink much coffee?

I would rather drink bleach than setting an Environment variable in Windows

I always get yelled at when I make a big deal of having tons of open drinks near expensive hardware, and it gets on my fucking nerves because it is almost always followed by a spill and irreversible damage.

Is it really that difficult to place beverages away from the electronics or maybe close the water bottle after taking a drink?

Wake up, it's 1983...
Node? React? Copilot? Programming Socks? Furries?
Man, I told you to not drink so much the last night, now wash your face and grab a coffee, you have a program for the VAX-11 to finish.

My use of linux could legally drink now, in the US. And even after 21 years, I still love it more all the time.

I just accepted an offer as a backend dev for a startup in Berlin, Germany. I’m looking forward to all the coffee and beer I will drink while I work. 😆

Meets a family member****
Fam.Member: Hey so what do you do now?
Me: I work with a tech company
Fam.Member: Nice. As what?
Me: Software Engineer
Fam.Member: oh IT stuff. Can you check my phone for me, it's slow now.
Me: No (then walks away sipping my drink)

!dev

Look im all for conservation and helping the environment and shit, but why can't people do it without being self righteous cunts? Like seriously.

I just saw an ad on Instagram of someone getting a drink and they're all "I don't need a straw hue hue hue" and then proceed to drink from a metal straw shit.

THE WHOLE FUCKING CUP IS PLASTIC.

Stop being a self righteous cunt if you're gonna do contradictory shit like that. Like seriously. You using a metal straw ain't changing shit whenever you've got a whole ass cup that's plastic and that you're gonna throw into a trash can.

my way of getting unstuck is going to toilet, thats why I drink soo much liquid on work, kuz then I know that when in need, I can go "TO THE THINKING ROOM"

!rant, just wanted to share
I invited some coworkers I count as friends to a drink on friday after work..
One of them replied: I hope it's your birhday..Right?? You're not giving up on us & resigning?

I hate it when I'm working on something and then I have to eat/drink/take a piss/shit. Come on, body, just let me fucking work

I am figfucking drink dunk and frdrunk as fuck fuck you
Uu

Before new years eve I prepared a sheet on google sheets that allowed people to add drink recipes and order drinks (specify how many of each drink they want), calculated part of budget each person had to cover and generated shopping list of drink components with exact amounts needed.
It was more fun to make that thing than to attend the party.

Protip: don't drink gin and try to install stuff on a client's NAS while logged in as root.

Thank god I changed my mind and decided to do this another time...

I prefer to work while everyone is asleep, drink black coffee, low-fi music, and find a way to appreciate what I'm working on.

A rubber duck plugin for all ide that reminds the programer to drink water ( I usually forget to drink water while coding) and more than a few errors it should pop up automatically

I'm from Italy and I code,
how can you drink more coffee?!

When I drink iced coffee....

When you realize that the bug is happening because you copied your own code and forgot to replace some variable after you pasted it... Damn you brain! Do not copy/paste ok? Or I swear I will drink a lot on Friday....

4:04pm
I decided to forego working and made a drink.
I'm also making dinner, hence the time discrepancy.

It's an adios, motherfucker. But I don't have (and wouldn't use) 7up, and forewent sour mix in favor of lemon&lime juice and sparkling cider.

It's aoibhinn and craic
táim ag meisce 😊
Wheeeee

I don't always drink water.
But when I do, it's coffee. 😅

i make hot coffee, saying to myself "lets just finish the function", i drink ice coffee.

I can drink my coffee with extra confidence now whenever they report a bug.

After seeing everyone arguing about coffee on my post yesterday, I thought you guys might like to see my new invention.

I call it "the late man's coffee" for when you don't have enough time to eat breakfast and drink your morning coffee.

i went to my college bakery and i bought a sandwich (costs 140) and ultra energy drink (costs 90) in my currency

i extend my hand with money and the woman takes a calculator and types with one finger 1 4 0 + 9 0 = and says "230"

Today i got to add this to my code:
"Shame on you pirate! A subscription only cost 2 cups of coffee; what are we supposed to drink now?"

Having a bit of fun with the finishing touches of my personal project :D

Aaahhh, it's one of those mornings, when I sit down at my laptop, take my tall cup of hot, fresh coffee with a perfect layer of frothed milk at the top, I take a sip of this heavenly drink and feel the taste of sour curd in my mouth.

A perfectly ruined morning!

I went out partying with couple of friends last night, it was nice ...

So I met this girl, she was nice and beautiful, out going basically we were getting each other's vibes and the mood was right ... We had a drink together and everything was cool until I learned her last name ...🤣

I couldn't help it I cracked up it was so intense ...

her last name was "chrooto"
I know that I have ruined my chances with her, but I don't think I could've been able to hold it

Less stress.. No panic.. And yea.. Beer. Drink beer if you're really stressed... Helps me out everytime..
By the way I am drinking beer as I write this..

How many of you drink (too much) or having a drinking problem? And did you try to fix that?

I'm sober for three months and the consequences are huge.

Some say Whiskey officially was a medicine. I believe in that.

All what i have learned: stopping cold turkey was and is not the way for me.

Four beers with an expiry date of 2022. What do you do? Easy, drink three so you don't care about the expiry date of the fourth and enjoy.

Didn't tag it as joke because it's seriously what I just did

Random guy: Hey you're from Mexico ! Let's party and drink Tequila, let's go for Mamacitas !!!

Me: no, I have to work!

Random guy: come on you Mexicans don't work, and always wears a Zarape !

Me: Come on man ! It's fucking 21th century !!! You can't think that way ! I don't fucking wear a Zarape, I don't like Tequila and for the love of God is so wrong to call women "Mamacitas"

Removing Node dependencies 🥂

Started working as a developer about 2 months ago and on the first day of of work I was tought how to make coffee.

I couldn't understand why is coffee so important to the everyone in the company. I didn't drink the coffee for the first 2 week.

Now after many sleepless nights spent coding i then realise why the people worship the drink so much.

People get very pissed when they go to coffee machine and find that there is no coffee then the last person to have a cup is going to be shouted at and at times even get insulted.

Now coffee is my fuel and cant do much without it.

My PM frequently asked me what I'm doing as a Programmer in my Team because he wants to understand us better - I first started out explaining him every Detail of our work - he didn't get it - I then simplified it and told him We are creating the functionality and Gameplay features - he didn't get it. I then finished our conversations with telling him what I do like that "I drink coffee and I know things" - he was satisfied and I could work on

“Have you got anything to drink?”

“Water.”

“I meant something harder?”

“Ice.

Am I the only one that prefers energy drink over coffee?

I just drink until I think I am.

This is why I don’t drink

Am I weird for not liking Whiskey?

It just kinda tastes... bad. Everybody is taking about notes of vanilla, undertones of strawberry, BITCH where. It tastes like weird with alcohol. And the alcohol part isn't really the problem. I'd much rather drink straight up vodka. Yes it tastes like drain cleaner but at least it doesn't have this weird ass taste to it. I actually quite like vodka. I just don't get whiskey

Drink. Coffee.

I always make sure I learn something new everyday even just small bits of information.

By the way, did anyone ever went to hospital because drinking too much coffee? I drink it, you drink it, we drink it, but I'm seriously worried sometimes about my heart and blood pressure.

Just when I was getting used to working from home, my stupid friend made my life even more hell.

I live in a 1 bhk apartment. It's just enough for 3 guys to live comfortably. Now this stupid friend has brought in 3 of his friends since lockdown started and it looks like they are here to stay unless offices start functioning again.

I'm not a smoker and I don't like drinking every other day. Ever since his friend's moved in, it smells like I'm living in a chimney and they drink evey other day.

I don't like their lifestyle or work ethics. I try to blend in but it's a hell here for me trying to focus on my work and goals.

I'm just lucky they haven't brought in any corona yet.

I'm currently interviewing for a new job and I hope it will help me get out of this shit hole as soon as possible.

I have declined their offer for me to drink because I really want this new job. Now, I'm that odd guy in the group who doesn't drink or smoke.

Smh

I have adhd and anxiety which means I cant smoke, drink coffee or drink alcohol because that fucks up my sleep and short term and long term memory badly for few days in a row. ADD symptoms become unmanageable. Fuck my life. I guess I will have to cut all stimulants if I want to be abe to function as a decent dev. I will have to cut most of my social circle because they wont understand me not going out for drinks... Fuck my life....

!rant

How does everyone here like their coffee?
For every cup I drink, it should be espresso (0.35 litres) with three cubes 'o sugar and a little shot of milk.

My company doesnt have promotions. We do get quaterly pay raises. But a person with one year experience has the same title as someone with 10 years experience.

I did get a promotion article at the train station today for drink yoghurt with a flavour.

A: I have the perfect son.
B: Does he smoke?
A: No, he doesn't.
B: Does he drink whiskey?
A: No, he doesn't.
B: Does he ever come home late?
A: No, he doesn't.
B: I guess you really do have the perfect son. How old is he?
A: He will be six months old next Wednesday.

The coffee here is so shitty, I have to drink lots of water to get rid of the terrible flavor that remains in my mouth every single time.

On the other hand, I'm very well hydrated.

Anyone else have trigger words that make them excited about programming?

I can come home from a full day of work, hear the word "append" or "include" and then instantly want to down an energy drink do another 8 hours.

Today was a good day, (day 4 of my junior dev career) I met the only other female Dev in the company , great stuff

And I'm starting to see how well I fit into the company. The only hot drinks options are coffee and green tea- exactly the only hot things I drink 😂(I think they all hacked me and made the work exactly the way I'd like it hm)

I drink a lot of beer..

Myself

The place is poorly run, I drink beer at my desk in secret or worse have tantrums like a 2 year.

God, I wish they had these in the states, yes, this is coffee. This is my dev drink

Not sure if I'm disappointed or relieved.

Just spent 5 years trying the get into this class. Studying and asking and getting recommendations. I knew it had less than a 5% pass rate but it's all that I've been aiming for for years.

Finally got into it, and spent 4 months working my ass off. Today I got told that I'm maybe being dropped. And honestly, as disappointed as I am, and I might need a new dream to aim for, I'm actually pretty okay with it.

I've been so stressed and annoyed and unhappy lately. I was starting to debate if this is even what I want. And for the first night in a while I can just drink whisky and not worry about the next test or doing classwork at midnight instead of sleeping.... I can just relax and whatever happens happens. I can't control how tomorrow goes.

Not sure if "oof. I need a drink" or "thank god, lets celebrate with a drink!"

Patience is not slapping a non-technical end user when they explain how easy it is going to be to make a change to an application.

Caffeine meets every criteria for being a drug:
- Alters mental state
- Addictive
- Has withdrawal symptoms
- Tolerance increases with time

If you rely on caffeine to function, statistically, you spend the majority of your waking life in caffeine crush, longing for more and more caffeine to just function normally.

Face it: you’re a drug addict. Caffeine being legal doesn’t mean it’s not a drug.

I don’t do caffeine at all. I don’t drink sodas that have caffeine, I don’t drink tea either. That’s why I’m always full of energy. Yes, caffeine withdrawal gave me a week of terrible headaches, but I pushed through, and now my life is completely transformed.

I drink a lot and of water so I always have two glasses by my bedside -
A full one in case I get thirsty and an empty one in case I don't...

Without caffeine ➞ me ⩶ useless
With caffeine ➞ anxiety++

Btw I don't drink 10 liters / 2.6 gallons of coffee everyday or anything, just a small latte does the trick ..

I don't get why people like so much to mix personal life with professional... Always planning parties and "Forcing" everybody to join in... Sometimes it seems you can only be a good professional if you like to drink all weekend and complain about what you've been paid to do...

Do not drink a lot of alcohol when you are severely dehydrated.

Much regret.

Must find rag to fill with cold water, wring out, and place over eyes to reacquire that sweet, sweet unconsciousness.

Unrelated, if I haven’t told y’all that you should never Chumbawamba, you should never Chumbawamba. I did it once in uni and it was a super bad time. (Chumbawamba is what I call using Tubthumping as an instruction set. Do not take a whisky drink, then a vodka drink, than a lager drink, then a cider drink, etc etc.)

I'm too addicted and used to coffee...Like I can literally drink it right before going to sleep and I'll get a pretty good one. How bad is this? :|

I don't understand why the most of the developers drink a lot of coffee

I really dont like Coffee maschines that serve the Coffee Drink ready. If i want Coffee i want it hot as shit

You pay me money, I drink a shitload of beer

236 lines of code in main doing like 400 things that should each be their own function DX
Fucking legacy projects
This is why I drink on the weekends

Should I have coffee, tea, energy drink or Vitamin Water?

• I listen to music
• I eat/drink something
• I go to the toilet and think about unrelated stuff (which might actually provide a solution)
• I go to sleep

I try the top one first, and if it doesn't work, the next one, and so on, until I am done with the last one.

All I want in life is to sit at a desk, drink hot coco or energy drinks, program and slowly become insane, because my code won't work

Best part about being a (intern) dev?

Has to be being able to eat when I want, get a drink when I want, take a break when I want. But most of all, the godly feeling of being able to dress like a slob and not having to care about looking like one.

How I work:

I drink lots of coffee and pass out for 12 hours.

It’s like alcoholism, just less productive.

Why is my whole body shaking even my voice whenever i drink coffee ?? ???????????

My new routine after getting Elden RIng has been:

1. Get home and work out.
2. Drink protein shake
3. Take a shower, clean up and play with me pp
4. Get out and play elden ring until my wife unglues me from the controller.

And i fucking love it. Beast game in my opinion. FS really hit a home run with this mfker.

am I the only programmer who doesn't drink coffee..

Am i the only one annoyed that at first the coffee is too hot, so you have to take small sips. But when its at the right temperature, you have to drink it fast so that it doesnt go cold.

A guy just smashed his head on the keyboard in a slack channel i’m in, likely being drunk

Thank god I was quick enough to tell him to not drink and code. He promptly followed it by „This message has been deleted“

# Don't like ice coffee
# not in a mood for hot drink
# but I need coffee

Most difficult decision
🤦

Now that I work from home as a freelancer, my favourite way to get through a tough day is:

1. Scream internally
2. Realise I’m getting over-stressed
3. Roll myself a blunt
4. Smoke said blunt
5. Dick about on YouTube / internet for a while
6. Make myself a drink (tea etc)
7. Come back and work the problem with a better perspective and fresh eyes.

Before I decided to switch careers (PM to Dev) I would drink coffee, black, sometimes with 2+ shots of espresso on those nasty days...

It's been 18 months into this transition and I find that by about 9AM a strong dark coffee with 1+ shots of whiskey is required on any day...

No regrets on the switch, Just didn't see that coming is all...

I dunno how you guys can drink all that coffee... And also have it actually work.

I bought a large from McD at lunch, drinking it throughout the afternoon but maybe a third left...

But I feel tired still and think I also have a slight headache/dizzy feeling...

Great, just in the week when I’m on holiday, they  decided to do a coffee mug contest on devRant, so I wasn’t able to show mine. Well, I think this one deserves it’s place amongst the other beauties. It’s completely impractical to drink from, but it can count as a statement ;)

Me: Damn you good tasty coffee!!! Now I can't drink coffee anywhere else than at home and (more) expensive coffeebars!!!

Coffee: But you love me!!

Me: I know!! That's the fucking problem!!

I'm at work coding at 21:00 on a Friday cause money, no life ya know, but then it hit me. I could be at home on coding on a Friday night and still I would have no money and no life but o would have ALCOHOL! Ballmer peak here I come!

Ps I haven't drank in 6 days and I don't drink to excess (often). I just find it enjoyable

In-person interview follow up from my phone interview last week. I hope I nail it. Stressing though. Gotta eat, drink water, and calm the hell down.

Interesting.

I wrote how I fall asleep even though I took an energy drink last night on different social media app.

Now devRant is showing me these. 👀

I actually have a quite good social life..
I keep at least 2 nights per week to spend time with my friends and drink!
The only issue is that no one of them are in tech. But yeah, as said in a previous rant, i'd like to have dev friends, mentor..

!dev

But i like sharing.

So i hated stout. But recently i had a kid and my partners parents are from England. Back in the day，breastfeeding mums used to drink light stout， because the yeast helped to boost milk production.

Well i buy beer every week and run out of it by wednesday. So at my disgust i started drinking stout.

Now my brestfeeding partner complains coz i drink all her beer ;)

I got hit in the head by a soda can, but it didn't hurt that much... It was a soft drink.

So instead of drinking shit like Pepsi Max while coding on a weekend, and since it's so hot lately, I thought I'd buy a blender and some fruits and make frozen fruit drinks.

After unpacking the blender, I notice a booklet with a few recipes.

All I can say, is, ":/".

I'm thinking about making a frozen watermelon and peach drink right now. What do you guys like to drink when it's really hot (besides coffee)?

Not sure I want to drink this anymore...

Only now just realised I haven't had a drink in 3 weeks and even longer since I had an iced coffee... Guys I think I've discovered why my rants are down!!!

Time to go get fucking hammered and try to build the world!

What i can do in the airplane...

Read books
Listen to music
Sleep
See outside the window
Make some programs
Drink water
Play card games

Anything else?
Note: the plane i am rodong doesnt have anything interesting in ife, only airshow

I shouldn't drink coffee but

found a coffee maker that wasn't electric and also didn't have a reusable filter but a permanent one

impulse bought it

my health issues act up if I have stimulants, raaggg

having a bad day so I gave in and made coffee in it

this is so cool. I feel like a witch making brews

but also coffee coffee coffee coffee

So my gf told me about a job offerin she heard. They're looking for Python dev for a weather website.
Cool sound good.
Thank god I went for a drink with friends that night cause when I mentioned the job...well.
Apparently this dick pays about a 100$ LESS than a MINIMUM wage (not to mention the hostile work environment).
Honestly idk how they even stay afloat. I mean you can make almost DOUBLE working at McDonald's.

This motherfucking conference!
I've been waiting for over a day for the fucking notification to come out. The way it is going, were I in Aus the notification would be two fucking days late. If this translates into rejection, I'd like the organizers to drink boiling lava and then get fucked in the arse with frozen lava; cuz the delay is a fucking nerve wracker!

1. start up my monitors, have one monitor streaming news while the other one is browsing devRant.

2. drink an ungodly amount of caffeine

3. crash so hard that I have an excuse not to code and go back to bed.

I have a few colleagues who code best when slightly drunk. So I gave it a try a couple of times. That didn't work - I immediately felt drowsy and sleepy.

In general, I don't drink. I like it when my mind is razor-sharp and works better than a swiss watch, and even tiny amounts of alcohol spoil that clockwork for me. So drunk coding is not for me.

Went out for a drink after work ... Ran into my boss, and I think he might be quite the mentor

Caffeine is crucial but I’m trying to moderate it! What good does it do if you have to drink 5 cups of coffee everyday to feel normal! I drink coffee like Hobbits eat! Breakfast coffee, second breakfast coffee, elevensies coffee, lunch coffee, onesies coffee...

The meeting I will go in few minutes. Our app went in production 2 weeks ago, the managers invite us (devs) to have a drink with 'important' people I don't even know. We will celebrate the success of the project, after 6 months of pressure with everyone telling we will fail and that we are losers. Hypocrite meeting.

After walking 15-20 kilometres every day in 36 degrees Celsius (feel is like 42) for the past 5 days, I think a Japanese alcoholic drink and a bath is well deserved...

I don’t drink before or when I write code.
But I do to read my own code.

These guys. I drink a lot of water (I stopped drinking coffee so I had to replace it with something).

That moment when you worked with bug 2 days and now it's a feature! I need to drink more coffee because it helps - Ready to do more!

I have a feeling that one of the most valuable skills I have yet to learn is the ability to drink coffee.

I shouldn't have drank that energy drink. I'm soooooooooooooooo
fucked.

Sitting through useless Friday meetings thinking "I need a goddamn drink".

Suffering from concentration, meaning my coffee is cold. I can’t drink cold coffee, it makes me retch. That’s the second cup today I’ve let die on me. It’s pissing me off now.

Anyone in South West Kansas looking to grab a drink? Lol, I fucking can't with my (l)users today...

Where's my Monster?! Why's it in the trash can, I swear I didn't drink it that fast. Damn you Illuminati!!!

As a Developer, we go through all kinds of situations. There are happy moments and there are frustrations.

What I've seen is, my colleagues use booze to chill and put out their stress. I dont drink nor smoke. I feel, i need something to put out my stress. Any suggestions?

I drink more and more coffee.

I know we all hate FAANG companies here but I got invited to Amazon 5 hour interview(5 session here) after 2 technical i terviews and it feels good. It will also be in the domain I really want to work in.

But enough for good news, I want you to piss in my drink. Give me reasons to stay away from Amazon. Especially in European branch. What are they bad at? Why would people leave Amazon? Company gossips, I want to hear everything!

Happy Holidays, Everyone.

Wishing you all a fine holiday with closure and finality of this existential crisis we've called 2020. I will never forget this year. Cheers to the impending doom of this year which feels more like a goddamn era.

Eat. Drink. And be Merry.

2021 is coming!

Yours,
@bulletsponge

So an update on my last health rant..

It's got off to a great start... not

My intentions were to go into NYC to walk around in Central Park.

I'm currently wandering around aimlessly in the park, taking a break..

On my way over though I passed a bubble tea festival that was happening...

Gotta get bubble tea now... *Bad* but easier it's so expensive.. They're price gouging!!!

*good? But more I want a drink... I have water but I want something tastier...*

**Sees Duane Reade, goes in no sole, too expensive**

** Sees McD...pass... sees sign saying any large drink for $1**

...

I'm now waking in CP while drinking a large Sprite.... and I want cake bc I'm already in NYC goddammit... might as well get some as it's in the way... And I won't get another chance until.... **Some far away date** ( I know is probably not true...)

Help?

string action = day == "Monday" ? "Go to work" : "Friday" ? "Netflix & chill" : "Saturday" ? "Sleep all day" : "Sunday" ? "Get ready again for Monday" : "Code from 9-5";

I wrote nested ternary operators before and I swear I'd only use shorter conditions like the one below. 😳

string action = isTired == true ? "Get some sleep" : "Drink more coffee";

when you just had to drink that Kate coffee to get that last bit done and commited but as a result is completely unable to sleep.. ends up in a train of thoughs with a hint of philosophy... weep woop before you know it, your night sent Warp speed to bright outside..

finally i feel tired.. fml.

Not a b2plane post.

I'm noticing a strange behavior of my body where the moment I go in the "coding zen" feeling the first time after waking up, my body wants to poop.

Previously I attributed it to me drinking tea before starting work.

But then today, I didn't drink tea. I woke up and started working right after, and still when I hit the "coding zen" feeling, my body wanted to poop.

Wtf..

Super easy to get motivated to work on my own projects every Friday: I look back at how many and how difficult the things I worked on during the week. I take how much I got paid and divide it by the sum of (numProjects * difficulty(1 to 4)). If I spent anywhere near that number on just coffee this week, well then Friday afternoon goes towards working on my own projects (yeah Friday morning- still have a lot of work to do and coffee to drink.)

Her code is so beautiful, I want to drink her json.

1. Use all my vacation days
2. Learn something that has nothing to do with computers (seriously I bore myself sometimes in conversation)
3. Drink more rum and learn about it at the same time
4. Make time for friends and family
5. No massive outages!

Mostly I want to step out of work and be more sociable

Fck I can't sleep again. I'll just drink coffee and code again. This pandemic destroyed my body clock!

Saw this meme in an article the other day about why it's a bad idea to make your guru-grade devs quit.

It suddenly dawned on my that the meme pretty much summed up all the decent Devs i've worked with over the years - they generally turn coffee and beer into code.

I think i need friends to go drink à beer sometime. I pass 20h on a PC ... Not normal XX