During a random school project.

Me: *Explains why team members idea is bad*

Team member: *Im going to do it like this anyways.*

Me: *add explaination of why idea is bad to git commit log.*

1 week later: some parts of the project dont work like they are suppost to.

Team member: *dude can you help me bla bla....(encounters issue i mentioned regarding his idea)*

Me: *no, i've already got too much on my plate. please, sort it out yourself....*

At the presentation

Teacher: *ask question about problem*

Team member: *tries to blame the problem on me....*

Me: *shows git commit log to teacher*

Me: *passing grade*

Team member: *failing grade*

Justice served.

Today I received the best bug report I could've ever asked for..

Received an email from a member of our customer service centre containing a description of the bug they'd found and not only did it contain the steps to reproduce the bug, but a goddamn video of him reproducing the suspected bug!

The greatest feeling when the client decides to take time to make your life that little bit easier

So I moved from being the TL of a small team to a member of another team a month ago.

A dev from the old team sent me this today morning. He also sent some examples of what he found "cool", and tbh I'm pretty proud of those modules. I tried being very modest there, but I'm very happy 😅

- Cookie warnings
- Autoplay videos
- "It's better on the app!"
- Surprise paywall
- Newsletter popups
- "Sorry, this content is not available in your region!"
- Lazily paraphrasing another website without disclosing the source in an obvious way
- Anti-adblock popups
- "Become a pro-member today: starting at $4.99/month!"
- "Sign up here to get my free e-book! :)"
- "keep reading" button to load the rest of the damn article
- "We have a podcast!"
- ...

I hate the current state of the web.

I designed a logo for a family member's business with the expectation that I would receive payment once the work was completed. I wasn't expecting a lot, I only really do freelance work for software but I know my way around Illustrator. I'm not one to charge family anywhere near full price and I felt no contract was needed. We were back and fourth for a little bit, getting the logo to his liking. Silly me during all of this didn't watermark any of the images I was sending (didn't think I'd have to, you know... Family) and a little while later he's gone and ordered shirts with the logo on it without paying or even contacting me. When I confronted him about it, he pulls out the whole "No contract was made" bullshit. It's ridiculous how arrogant people can be, I was asking for $50. I put a good 15 hours into it with all the alterations he wanted. 15 hours I could have spent on actual clients.

TLDR; Designed a logo for a family member without a contract, he decided not to pay.

It's not micromanagment. But I would like you to report to me every single day and discuss everything that you and every member of your team does every day.

Wow
1 more family WhatsApp group
Now I am part of 7 family group with same member
😤

Today, I was telling a team member who joined recently to refer a GitHub repo, fork it and start working.

That person asks me, "Why GitHub, why should I access it etc". I blanked out after hearing the first question, so whatever said after that wasn't registered in my mind.

I asked that person "how did you do it in your previous org ?"

The response was, "we zip the code at end of everyday and store it as draft in our mailbox"

I stormed out of the workplace, even though it was just around mid of the day...

Hey fellow devs,

I'm proud to say, that today I've passed my final step/exam of my apprenticeship.

So now I'm officially an IT-Specialist - Software Development or "Fachinformatiker für Anwendungsentwicklung" in german.

I'm so fuckin' relieved and happy that this chapter is now finally closed and the real fun can begin!

My new job - indeed the old one with 4x payment and just a 32 hour week instead of a 40 hour one.

Now I will cheer and drink as much whiskey I can find out there! :D

PS.: This baby (pic related) was my presentation device today. One member of the commission had to laugh, a ranter as it seems! ;)

So the battery of our YouBot died, and since it's deprecated we had to ask the EE department to manufacture one for us. When a member of my group asked them for the custom battery last year, it took them 5+ weeks to get it.
Today I went there, and threatened the engineer to cry daily outside his room until it's ready. He already ordered the parts and said I will have it assembled by Tuesday.
I am totally in love with the terrifying effect a crying female has over male engineers.

My team was sharing an API key to our company's microservice containing all our customer data.

I say "was" because one team member accidentally published the key online so the security team disabled our key and won't give us a new one.

I don't know whether to laugh or cry

My team member just rewrote all of my code and it looks beautiful and it works but and now i feel like I'm a terrible programmer :'(

Before I continue, I should mention that I have a quality: I observe, find repetitive patterns and find ways to automate them. It just happens naturally, hardly ever intentionally.

I have been in this role for quite a while now. Most of my colleagues are of nationality X (I guess we all know what X is in IT projects). Naturally, there are lots of repetitions all over the place. So I started the automation.

The Frontend of the automation is a slack bot. It's just like another member of our team. And my goal was to make it as human-like as I could.

I launched the bot a few months ago.

Today I start my shift and see other employees of nationality X persistently asking my bot to join the conference call. Apparently, they assumed that the bot is just another X fellow...

Took them a while to give up.

What does that tell us about X.....

P.S. I have coded human-like conversation capability to keep on chatting even when the bot doesn't understand what it's asked to do.

Most used git command for starters:
rm -R repo
git clone repo

Made a website for a local choir when i was younger - for FREE (my Mum’s been a member for >30 years).

They INSISTED on playing music on start that can’t be stopped.

Told them that wouldn’t be very wise, people would just immediately leave. They didn’t believe me. Removed it shortly after...

Hello devRant,
I'm new in your community. Okay, not completely new because I try to introduce me in the community and now I think, I know how devRant works and what I could do here.

But who I am?

I'm David from Germany. I'm a hobby developer. I develop lots of stuff, Alexa Skills, Google Actions, Mobile Application for Android and Websites. I'm in a one team member "team"🤣. I develop the background and I "try"😉 to develop the foreground. I develop since 6-7 years and I start with HTML (I know it's not a programming language) but next to HTML I learned CSS. Now, I could programm in CSS, JS, PHP, MySQL, JAVA, C++, PHYTON and I hope I don't forget a language.

But the main question: Why I joined to the devRant community?

The main reason is that I want to see jokes meme and interesting topics. The secondary reason is that I hope I could learn English in a different way. I hope I'm not the worst English speaker/writer.

After the face reveal and the hand reveal... Let's do something spicier! 😉

Guys, post a pic of your "private member"...
Gals, post a pic of your "closure"... If you know what I mean 😏

Mine's in the comments

A high ranking member of my institution had to partake in certain events that demonstrated coding. Said person came back amazed at the sheer amount of work and knowledge requiered to work in the area.

Yes......maybe that will make said person reconsider the "i needed this by yesterday" and "its only a quick fix" attitude.

BUT! We all know it won't

There I was, thinking I’d never be the kind of idiot who spills a cup of coffee over his laptop.

Little did I know I was eventually going to be a premium member of that club.

was a member on a web developers group on Facebook.

someone posted a question:
- I am getting error 500, how can I fix it (yes just like that, no error message, not even what technology he's using)
comment 1 : how can I build a website please? (I mean, wtf, you can at least post a separate post)
comment 2: check your database, MySQL has problems bla bla ( yes, don't know how he guessed that ia the database is the problem, and who tell you he used MySQL anyway??)

Me: what the hell am I doing here?
*Quit the group*

At 4pm, after 6 hours of work of migrating from mysql to mongodb...
I am drinking coffee with my team.
Boss, comes from somewhere and asks...

what do you all want? (What he meant was, go back to work you all)

One of my team member- (angry and agitated) says-- a comfortable sofa.

Holy fuck, i laughed my ass out.

Guess what happend next...

M - Me
F - Family member

F: So you study computer science... Could you recover my Gmail login data? I don't remember my email address, password or security question. (7th request to me like that from the same person, they don't bother to write down the recovered pw)
M: I can't do it if I don't know any of the above
F: Wow, I thought you're a good student... Could you at least create a new account for me?
M: But you won't even remember the new... [gets interrupted]
F: So, are you going to talk trash or get to work? You would have already been 50% done

PLEASE I'M SO TIRED OF IT. HOW DO I DEAL WITH THESE OTHER THAN TELLING THEM WHAT I THINK ABOUT THEM. I SEEK HELP

Why the fuck do teachers take points off for coding style. Like really placing my open house brace on the same line as an if is what looks good TO ME. And breaking from a while loop with an inverted condition is nicer than a huge if TO ME. Fuck it I like the m_ for member variables too. And yes C++ usually names functions like someFunction, but I like how c# does SomeFunction. Like shit, it's personal I don't care that I lose 5points every test I do it just to say fuck you

Group projects in computer science usually go like this for me:

Me: Want to be in a Group?

Group member: sure

Me: okay, we can discuss the project and start coding some stuff tomorrow

Group member: I don't have a laptop, won't get one till two weeks

Me: -_-

Also me: fuck off

Launched my product yesterday. Been working hard on it for a year.

Got a bunch of day 0 signups from all over the world. I’m super delighted. Then I see a bunch of them “broken” in my database.

I dig in and... long story short:

Twilio are cunts. I thought they were a world beater. THEEE messaging api on the market.

Well it turns out you can’t sms North American numbers without setting up special provisions.

I can sms fucking Botswana and Ghana and Iceland and fucking KUWAIT (I actually got a member from Kuwait), but Twilio can’t fucking sms A-CUNTING-MERI-FUCKING-CA

I jump on an existing scala project.

git pull && sbt compile test

Tests are failing.

Me: "Hey team, the tests are failing."

Team member: "That cannot be. They were passing for the the last run."

Me: "Did you run them locally?"

Team member: "No, on Jenkins. It was fine."

I check Jenkins.

Me: "What do you mean it's fine. The last successful deployment was on the end of May."

Team member: "The Pull Request checker always went through successfully."

I check how our Jenkins tasks are configured. It's true that the Pull Request Checker runs successfully yet due to a "minor misconfiguration" (aka "major fuckup") the Pull Request Checker only tests a tiny subset of the entire test suite.

Team members were were fine if their Pull Request got the "Success" notification on bitbucket's pull request page. And reviewers trusted that icon as well.

They never checked the master run of the Jenkins task. Where the tests were also failing for over a month.

I'm also highely confused how they did TDD. You know, writing a test first, making it green. (I hope they were just one specific test at a time assuming the others were green. The cynic in me assumes they outsourced running the tests to the Jenkins.)

Gnarf!

Team member having run the tests locally finally realizes: "The tests are broken. Gonna fix them."

Wow. Please, dear fellow developers: It does not kill you to run the entire test suite locally. Just do it. Treat the external test runners as a safety net. Yet always run the test suite locally first.

5 years ago i was working on a 2D game using C and we needed to use the sleep function (I forgot why ) .but however one of my team member did something new , for each second he did an empty for loop from 0 to 1000000 .You never know maybe that's how it's implemented (sarcasm)

I’d heard rumblings from my friends in other parts of the organization that there were going to be layoffs coming, so I’d warned my little engineering team. One of my team was vacationing abroad.

When he came back, one of my teammates told him it was all over and we were going to get fired.

He told me that he’d been told that and I said that it probably wouldn’t affect us and that I wouldn’t worry about it (I was under the impression that the layoffs would only really hit customer-facing roles).

The member of my team who just got back from vacation, the one who I reassured, was the only member of my team who was part of the group laid off.

Goddamn it.

I learned a valuable lesson today about the life of a manager. I’m not a manager, but I am a senior level dev.

Today I was told there wasn’t room on the new team for 1 person, and I had pick that last team member. I had to choose between a friend who really isn’t cut out to be a dev and a non friend who is a better dev.

I talked through my reasoning and ultimately chose to put the friends job in jeopardy. They told me that I had solid leadership traits for being able to separate my emotions from my decision making. But I felt like a piece of shit.

I cried back at my desk. The friend doesn’t know yet and I can’t tell them. Is this what execs feel when they have to let people go?

1. Put headphones
2. Put videogame OST (Chrono Trigger is the best)
3. Start Atom
4. Sacrifice a male virgin to my Code Muse to replenish her mana stock
5. Jerk off seeing a fat granny midget porn
6. Clorophorm and put my coworker to sleep so he doesn't interrupt me to show the FailArm best fails of 2016
7. Atom is still loading, so I curse all the GitHub fuckers
8. Give up and start my emulator to play Chrono Trigger
9. Receive a pull request and realise I need to work and be a productive member of society
10. Goto 1

I was asked to help with the website of this one club. Their 'IT head' is a business person. I told them no, but they sent me something anyways.

They sent me a zip file of their code
instead of giving me access to their GitHub repo. I then realized that they were using 3-year-old NodeJS and Express to power their static website and doing blog posts as JavaScript modules.

A second part of their architecture which was related to member sign up was horribly broken and also written in Node. I found out that they hard coded credentials to their Google Apps account, despite having the setup to pass it via environment variables.

And now they are worried that their sign up isn't working. Their developer resigned.

They want me to help them fix it within a very small timeframe. So they can use the code to collect membership fees.

This is what happens when you have business people develop code.

The names in the story have been changed to protect not the innocent but the very very stupid. So I set up test accounts for each team member in the new test environment for our project building the new web interface for our SaaS product. Each username had an underscore in it like john_smith. I told everyone the news in the morning scrum and got 2 requests for help an hour later from people saying they could not log in with their username johnunderscoresmith.

Karma...you're the best.

An ex-team member was complaining to me about his manager reviewing his code. Shortened version of the convo:
Mgr: "Why didn't you use the new C# built-in extension methods?"
Dev: "No reason. I thought using the straight forward approach would be easier to maintain"

Ha!..you conceded, arrogant mother <bleep>er. How many times did I have to listen you berate other developers in code reviews for not using some random C# syntax sugar? Comments like "If you bothered to read the new C# 7.0 language specification like I did...you would have known not to use the string.Format anymore..."

Now you're pissed that the manager embarrassed you? How does it feel d-bag?

That's too evil...so I simply responded "I don't think Nick meant anything negative about your code, he's just trying to help."

Seeing him stir around all pissed off does make me giggle like a little schoolgirl.

For the first time in ages I decided to order a takeaway.

Had a quick check on the takeaway's online menu. My order total was going to be £15.60.

I called up to order and the total was apparently £21.40.

I queried this with the member of staff and mentioned I got the prices from their online menu.

I was told the online menu was "slightly out of date".

When I got into the takeaway to pickup my order I got speaking to the owner. He said the menu on their site was from 2009. He stressed updating the menu was on their list of things to do.

Lol :)

So guys and gurls...
I'm a member of devRant for about 1.5 weeks now. I already have over 130 likes on my rants in total about things I was never able to post without being labeled a nerd. I literally love you guys! Thanks to @dfox and @trogus for making it possible for us to discuss things that matter for us!

We use MS Teams and I started a new team for the contract renewal. My preference was to continue with the old one for files and searching. I am the “owner” and the PM is the “owner”. Everyone else is a “member”. Owner means admin. The executive sees that she is a mere member and demands the PM add her as an owner. He makes her an owner. Then she decides that she outranks is and should be the only owner. We discover this because we can’t on-board a new person on the team or configure build notifications or GitHub code review notifications.
Basically the executive has stopped the team from using Teams because her ego tells her that she is the one true “owner.”

Friend of mine at college is struggling with his cpp class.

Have been helping this guy since forever with it, he is not a coder by any means nor does he display any sort of affinity or "talent" for it. But he does make up with intense dedication. Still he knows that he will not be pursuing a career in software engineering, this is just a class.

The thing is, he showed me a video of his class. The instructor is middle eastern with a thick accent. Accent so thick I need subtitles for this motherfucker.

He has learned more from me that he has at uni. And at my day job the interns say the same thing. I love teaching and far prefer it over working on projects.

This week we have a meeting with the head of the i.t dptmtn at school as nd I will try to pitch myself in as a faculty member by popular demand.

I would love to teach, i have experience in the field and learn a lot from going over shit as an instructor. I can make one go from wtf is JS used for to handling promises and writing Angular in days.

I really want to teach man.

the fuck kind of manager are you that you tell your leads not to fucking answer their damn phones when services need restoring????? If your fucking team member can do his damn job like a grown ass adult, but sees that you (his lead) made a change and has questions, your ass better answer the phone, or i will rocket launch it up your ass, straight into your brain so it's the newest, latest, fucking hippest trend and hooked into your system so you answer every fucking call hands-free. Even when fucking "Windows Tech Support" calls you every 30 minutes because your keep expired.

There are people counting on you, worthless fuckwipe. Get. The. Fuck. Over. Yourself. And do your fucking job.

Edit: phone tried to censor me

* Urgent support ticket comes in.
* Switches to working on it.
* Urgent support ticket comes in.
* Switches team member to it.
* Urgent support ticket comes in.
* Gets dev team to help with it.
* Urgent support ticket comes in.
* Asks CEO to help on ticket.
* Urgent support ticket comes in.
* Cries.
* Urgent support ticket comes in.
* Prays to Mecca.
* Urgent support ticket comes in.
* ...

I then find out two more urgent support tickets are about to come in.

And then another one.

Help.

If you are sick...

STAY THE FUCK HOME!

It has nothing to do with how YOU are feeling. It’s about RESPECT for those around you.

Especially if you work in an open office. Coming into an open office when sick is like coughing right on someone’s face repeatedly, it shows that same level of (lack of) respect.

Almost every company I have seen fucks this up so bad. It’s the same shit every year....

People are afraid to take days and stay home. They go in and make everyone sick, then everyone is taking days off and we are “short” on people. Then the incompetent CEO is scratching his head as to why this toxic work environment could produce such a toxic result.

And one more fucking thing.

If you got a cold/flu on Monday and your in the office on Wednesday because you are “feeling a bit better” then your a fucking idiot. At day 3 you are just starting to expel germs while still being highly contagious.

If you come into an open office while sick then I would say...

“Smarten the fuck up! And start showing some respect for the people you work with!”

If you have created (or are creating) a culture that encourages this then I would say...

“Fuck you! You should be fucking smarter than that.”

————

If your still sitting there thinking something like...

“Well I have to attend the meeting” or some other shit. Then let me add this to the pile.

Not everyone has had a rosy fucking life.

You may be working next to someone who has a lowered immune system due to past medical problems. What may be a week of sickness for you could end up being a month in the hospital for them.

You may be working next to a person who has a family member dying of cancer. If you make them sick then they can’t visit that family member (colds can kill cancer patients) and you may be stopping that person from seeing their loved ones one last time before they die.

Don’t be a fucking asshole.

STAY THE FUCK HOME!

Probably Dennis Ritchie. Inventor of a timeless language and member of the Unix project at Bell. I think his work is significant and he lived his life, then died a good man.

This is what f*ckin' grinds my gears to the max...

Today a family member asked me to help them with online banking so I agreed because they are really not computer literate.

I don't use the bank they use so the whole online banking website interface was new to me and I had to figure out where some things were.

The family member that I was helping was getting really annoyed because it was taking long (by the way it took me less than 15 min to finish helping them).

As I was assisting them the f*ckin' idiot had the nerve to tell me, and I quote, "I thought you were good in IT. You can't even assist me with online banking".

Honestly, WTF?!?!?! 😡😡
How does one even respond to such...

Anyways... This is just one simple example regardless of what field you are in IT, you NEED to be good with whatever tech gets thrown at you.

So irritating....😡😣

Never before I have shared my feelings with all great, kind developers. I always wanted to be the healthy, active & passionate member of this family...but never know what to say!!
Made an account earlier as well .. but thought I am not ready I always had some lame excuses so never shared anything before.

I am doing a fresh start now , able to convince myself to share something..

Hi !! to all the developers who are making this family truly amazing and fantastic :)

The time when we were not aware with advance features of IDE and version control.
(3-4 days before the project demo)

Me: This code was working fine last time. Now it is not compiling. Has anyone did some changes?

Team member: I corrected some spellings. So that our teachers don't correct us at the time of demo.

Me: (shocked, expression less ) We demo the application not the code. And you have not corrected on all the places.

Team member: You should do the rest.

(Based on true story)

I've run into problems with the app I'm working on, the problems are related to issues regarding code.

No in fact it's related the last guy who wrote the app, the code has no comments and the variable names make no sense, the only comments in the code are blocks of code... With no reason as to why it was commented.

I have to add in some checks to determine if a person that has logged in is a full member or not (full member has access to the feature I've added) and the way the guy has made this app works makes no sense to me at all.

I've tried my best to avoid all contact with his code because it makes me want to yell out in frustration.

But for this one case I have to work with what's there.

I know I've mentioned this before but I've hit my limit yet again.

And for those who don't know this guy managed to scrape together skeleton code from two apps to make part of this app, rather than using parts of the other apps he left out code that was specifically made for the other apps, (majority of the commented out code).

One app was a taxi app and from the looks of it the feature he used was to get GPS location (which I don't understand before Google maps is a think after all... The taxi app USES Google maps), the other app is some sort of funeral webcasting app (I found code imports for it, without any actual code).

I don't actual understand how this guy could put this together without not thinking "maybe this is a bad idea"

Always code as if the person who ends up maintaining your code is a violent psychopath who knows where you live

I'm that psychopath right now..... Fuck that guy (don't know where he lives though)

Let's start the story with just a bit of a background: I'm coming from a rather poor family so I always saw my parents working 24/7 to, you know, have a decent future. When I first got into the IT industry, I went full workaholic and worked overtime every day, taking other responsibilities etc. Got promoted fast, jumped through 3 companies, and all is good.

Present day company:
- I'm working 12 hour days
- Managing smaller teams and interns
- Starting new projects incognito and giving them to the execs (for the good of the company ofc)
- Doing lots of stuff outside my responsibilities

COVID hits, I get very sick 2 month ago... I get laid off??? I'm literally 5 employees in one, and, "the fact that I got sick means that I left home and wasn't working"???

This also comes at a time when every family member was also laid off so I had the only stable job.

Not even sure if I even have the will to work hard for someone else anymore, this is fucked up.

I had a manager in a fortune 500 company encourage me to install a web cam with live feed in another team members cube as a prank. Being younger, I trusted him and so figured it would fine and just get a good laugh.

Then another member found the setup and reported it. Turns out, this broke so many company regulations, I could have been fired on the spot. They confiscated my laptop and I got the 3rd degree from my senior director, who told me I was lucky to be a contractor at the time or the situation would have been even worse.

Moral of the story for younger folks in large corporations... don't take everything your higher ups say as gospel. Think for yourself and do your own research if something feels iffy.

Don't you just love it when you're waiting on a team member in a different country to push code that you NEED to be able to finish your job, but you know they've already gone home for the night and you're stuck reading the same three doc pages for your entire day at work? Because I sure do

This is a somewhat old story. I joined a project in making a 2.5d platformer in Unity. A couple months in, the project manager had decided that this game would have two sequels, an MMORPG, a live-action movie and a web series. He informed the whole team of this decision. One week later, every member of the dev team had left. This scope crept forth from the depths of hell and ruined a simple project. Lesson learned: Keep the scope small and don't bite over more than you can chew.

Edit: I know that you should dream big, but don't make 4 games, a web series and a movie simultaneously.

I manage a team of engineers.

Toxic Culture Post #2:

Manager: Everybody on your team needs their own swimlane in Jira. Each person's work should be their own lane. When I have a ticket for <Project A> I want to make sure that <Bob> always gets it, all tickets for <Project B> must go to <James>. You'll need to figure out which team member will handle <New Project C> and create their personal swim lane.

Me: That's not really how SCRUM works. Actually, that's not how teamwork works. You're creating silos and we all need to learn how to do these tasks. We're a cross-functional team, and each team member brings their own unique talents to the whole process.

Manager: So you'll create the swimlanes?

Me: No

Manager (to Bob): You'll be devoted to <Project A> from now own. It's the only work I expect you to do. All work for that project will be yours.

Likewise, my manager also reached out to each team member and assigned them specific tasks, furthering the silos.

WHY AM I SO FUCKING AWKWARD OH MY LORD! LITERALLY ALL I HAD TO DO WAS WATCH A SCHOOL PLAY AND THEN GET A PICTURE WITH A CAST MEMBER AND IT WAS PROBABLY ONE OF THE FEELINGS I'VE HAD IN THE PAST WEEK! GOD FUCKING DAMMIT I AM SO DONE WITH THIS! I'M TIRED OF BEING SO AWKWARD AND ANXIOUS! I DON'T GET HOW PEOPLE CAN DO ANYTHING LIKE THAT WITHOUT FEELING UNCOMFORTABLE. THIS HAS LITERALLY RUINED MY FUCKING LIFE AND I'M SO TIRED OF IT. I KNOW PEOPLE LIKE ME BUT I JUST CAN'T GET MYSELF TO TALK TO ANYONE! THE SIMPLEST THINGS TAKE SO MUCH OUT OF ME AND I'M SICK OF IT! I'M JUST TIRED OF IT! I'm just, tired.

So, tonight I didn't really have much planned (I found out) so when I mentioned a side-remark my boss was quick to suggest an evening phone meeting, which I couldn't turn down...
So tonight we've cleaned and archived in our repositories, weeded out teams, member permissions, and such...

The thing is; I like my boss and he's much more of a friend, so when I mentioned that a cleaning would be good, he suggested to do it over a glass or two of something good :)
We ended up spending an hour or two getting a lot closer to the bottom of things — beer in hand and laughs in the air :)

| Me and my team presenting an half-assed AI project to our lecturer.
Note that the algorithm doesn't work and we have a placeholder |
Lecturer after looking only at the UI: The project looks very good, I believe we are done here.
Team member: Don't you want to check the code?
Me: *trying to choke him without anyone noticing*
Lecturer: No need.
Lives were saved that day.

So, to anyone defending IBM at this point, a member of a client's offshore team used their paystub as test data. Aaaaand I was horrified by what I saw.

Their pay is less than $2/hr ($3973/yr, 300k INR).

I can't even. Not only that someone would pay so little to a supposedly degreed professional (I question the validity of that claim based on performance, that's a story for another time), but that companies feel comfortable giving full production system access to people I would not blame for taking bribes.

Fuck.

Yes, family member, i surely CAN fix your thermostat

Look what I found!

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Nice Police Man
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This week actually. We had an Innovation Week. I was tired of waiting for the company's collaboration tech team to give us some kind of virtual whiteboard system (they also won't let us use things like Google Hangouts or Microsoft One Note, etc...so they make remote collaboration and planning almost impossible)

Anyways long story aside I proposed we make a virtual whiteboard we could host internally as a web app using STOMP over Websocket. They said "there's no way you can finish that in a week". I did.

And it came out great. It even supports pressure sensitivity and different brush textures. Everyone loves it and teams are like...wow we could use this member facing too. Had like 5 people around my desk connected to it drawing dicks for like 30 minutes. Then our boss joined remotely and saw the dicks. They laughed their ass off.

tldr; was told there was no way I would complete an ambitious innovation project...completed it with style. Damn I am good.

A manager who felt that it was okay to come and speak to me about something that they were unhappy with in my conduct towards a member of our team, in a public place, loud enough for others to hear.

The conduct that made the manager feel the need to do this was my response to something another team member asking me to do. I had a lot on my plate with work, and had been given at least 3 additional tasks already in that meeting and my response to having to do yet another thing for this other team member because they "hadn't any idea what to do" was simply that I was quite busy and if it wasn't high priority it could wait one week as I have 3 other higher priority tasks that week to do. This resulted in me getting a warning and in a very public place.

Shouldn't have let it get to me the way it did, but the stress I was under and the way in which it was conducted just broke me and I cried. That nearly pushed me to leave my job and industry entirely.

This is how beautiful corporate is -

I talked to my cousin recently who works in an MNC. He told me about a team member who was assigned a Google Login integration task on the website. They already had a username/password combo working.

That team member took 2 months for it. Every week on the team wide meeting he took an off day and kept saying he was 'stuck' on the task and he's figuring it out.

2 months later, he completed the task and got compliments from the manager that he 'worked day and night' and overcame his struggles. Then he got a week off for his 'efforts'.

Just kill me at this point.

Most pissed off? Must have been the time I created a $10,000 hole in a marketing team's budget after trying to build a Tetris-style Facebook app game (back when FB apps were all the rage). It turned out that Tetris, which was up to that point commonly considered as public domain, had been scooped up by a patent troll who had made a convincing case that he had found and gotten agreement from the originator of the idea (a Russian dude who may or may not have been its original source). I had to scrap the whole project and explain what I did to an old-school manager who didn't even know how to operate a computer. That resulted in my losing credibility as a team member for the next 6 years. I never lived it down. I was pissed mostly at myself for following my assumption and not doing any patent research.

'Member when we were used to Internet explorer back in the Windows XP era and when we download stuff we always used to click run and never care about something called downloads folder and the only issue was that the temp folder used to fill our damn hard drives very quickly?

I 'member

My coach during my first internship. The first 4 weeks he took the time to pair program at least 3 hours a day with me. He needed the time for his own work but still invested in me. His technical prowess was insane. His code was so easy to read that it took me less than 3 weeks to get to know the 500,000+ lines codebase. He could explain the most complex stuff at such a fundamental level. After those 4 weeks of coaching I wasn't an intern anymore. I was an actual member of the team. Also learned a lot of useful non-technical skills like planning and communication from him.
Then after those 4 weeks he resigned and started working for another company. At the time I found it a dick move. It took me months to realize he managed to get an intern with 0 experience so comfortable around a code base that everybody treated me as a worthy colleague and engineer. It was a matter of days before people would ask me hard questions and I found I could answer each and everyone of them.

Pure sensei this guy was. Such a different level of knowledge and ability. I hope to become such a model for all of my students.

Just watching some videos about feminism and I'm just thinking: "how fucking nutty are these people really?!"

Too drunk right now to write about the recent developments in Mozilla's adoption of "the big bad patriarchy and meritocracy" (and I don't have the password database mirrored on my recently unfucked WanBLowS 10 desktop yet so I've no idea how to authenticate to devRant on it yet) but I'll try to get it out there by tomorrow 🙂

Simply put, Mozilla.. I like you regardless of the whole Mr. Robot crap from earlier, and I'm sure you've got your heart in the right place.. although I'm using Brave nowadays - a creation from the board member you've shunned over this whole PC shit, Brandon Eich. But let me tell you this, Mozilla. Enough is enough. Don't be fucking idiots.

I got the task to set up an NAS, because "server has too high maintenance costs".
I built two databases for this company and the big boss loved my work. (spoiler:not because my work was outstanding but because I, as a student, am cheap and willing to learn).
And now? Reality hit me for good. I looked for a enterprise worthy NAS solution, sent them the details, they bought it and now it's 00:00 in Germany and I'm sitting in the empty hall, trying to configure the storage to work like they want it. On a friday. Alone. As the only member of the IT-team. With way to much responsibility.

So... Yea, fuck you for good. I hope your backup gets an disk error at the same moment i quit. (but first gimme mah monney)

Meets a family member****
Fam.Member: Hey so what do you do now?
Me: I work with a tech company
Fam.Member: Nice. As what?
Me: Software Engineer
Fam.Member: oh IT stuff. Can you check my phone for me, it's slow now.
Me: No (then walks away sipping my drink)

Leader: Meeting starts in 10 mins, we have to show this to the boss
*Team member breaks database silently
*I notice the API has stopped working
Leader: Anyone , anything you want to tell me before the meeting.
*I raise my hand
Me: Yep, the API is not working :)
*Everybody ... FACEPALM

“You should automate that”

Said by me at least once to every family member.

“But I can’t, it’s impossible!”

Said by every family member to me.

Follows a discussion about how easy its to automate the thing, ofter interrupted by me cause I don’t care enough to go in detail just to be asked to automate it.

wllcnbeofozbv3-#:(#:wiwjzvfoblaa!!! If someone says "I don't have Discord, I don't play games" once more - I will run them over with a road roller. 90% of servers I am a member of are either for some open source software, open source hardware or some other non-gaming related community so stop with that "But I'm not a gamer" bullshit!

Not really a rant, but here goes...
I want to personally thank each and every member of devRant! Here’s why. (First, a little boring backstory): I’m visually impaired, and stuck in quarantine like the rest of us. (Not totally blind, but y’all definitely DO NOT want me out on the roads driving,) I also work a Tech Support job which largely deals with macOS. Due to this eye condition, there simply isn’t a lot of shit to do while stuck in the house other than work and learn node.js. So my pastime has largely been to sit and read Facebook while not on the clock. One day, while working from home, I was so bored and pissed off, I googled “macOS fucking sucks” for fun, and found devRant! Your stories, jokes and rants have turned my life around! I’m no longer on Facebook. (I know, I know, but what’s a half-blind guy to do except read about COVID-19 and get more pissed off at the state of the world?) and you guys have inspired me to start learning new things and delve deeper into node, which I had put down for awhile (I’m at a kindergarten level anyway, brand new). Anyway, thanks again! I’ll refrain from asking stupid questions, I promise. But I need a TechSupportRant now...

Dear DevRant,

Tomorrow, I get to defend my memory (the document I finished 3 weeks before deadline, remember?), which means that I am a month away to finish my studies forever. I am totally fucking scared but, heh, the key not to panick is to think it's already too late, just go til the end while avoiding saying bullshit as much as you can.

There are so much things I want to do, from sleeping one month straight, to shove my resignation letter in everyone's ass. Hopefully, everything will happen soon enough :)

I just want you to know that it feel so good to be a member of a community that is so relatable about anger you can feel everyday, it feels so good.

Love y'all, and wish me luck

@Drillan767

Reported an important security vulnerability inside our organization, right before getting off work. A security team member contacts me over chat asking for some details on my investigation. At the end, he tells me: "thanks, I will copy and paste this conversation on the ticket so that everyone can see".

What I imagined: he would copy and paste the conversation as is, so that every line written by me is prefixed with my name.

What he does: he writes a summary of our conversation, barely mentioning my name, making it look like that part of the investigation was done by him.

Now I have so much anger inside of me that my internal organs are boiling.

This happened a few weeks ago at school.

The previous semester we had to work in a group to make a basic Android application. After handing it in to the teacher, we had to present it in front off the class.

During this project, one of the groups was having some problems with a member, mainly because of misunderstandings and miscommunication. He definitely has technical skills, but he really needs to work on his focus and communicational skills.
The member was removed from the group and had to do it on his own. He had 2 days to make the app, which we initially got 2 weeks for.

Skip forward to presentation day.
Every group presented their app and got feedback from the teacher and the rest of the students.

Lastly, the guy that was on his own was giving his presentation. He started his powerpoint and explained what happened during the project and what went wrong. Then he said: "This is a black page in my school career, everything that could have gone wrong, went wrong". Immediately after saying this, he proceeds to go to the next slide: His laptop crashed, Blue Screen Of Death.

This was one of the most painful moments I've ever witnessed during a presentation.
I couldn't believe the timing of Windows to fuck up.

So today I found a way to break into any Apple Mac (provided the exploit hasn't been fixed by the owner) and access all private files, as long as I have physical access to it, in less than 5 minutes.

After finding this, a quick Google on the method reveals this has been a workaround for years.

And to think I once praised Apple for their security standards.

Edit: this was done to an in-house Mac that my company own, and had been password locked by a member of staff who had been fired, but held important company documents on the computer. It was in no way a breach of privacy.

Maybe not worst, but most frustrating. One of the systems I helped maintain at my first job had a few different bugs that caused bad data in the database. The "solution" to the problem was to write SQL queries to directly fix the production data. This would take one member of our team (it rotated weekly) about an hour every day to fix because there were literally dozens of these errors.

All the devs knew that we could identify the root cause and fix it in, probably, 3-4 days tops. Management would never approve the time because it would take longer to fix the root cause than it took to fix the data.

I worked at that company for 7 years. The bug was there when I came on, and it was there when I left.

- be any programmer hired to a job
- do some cool thing that helps the business
- gets labeled as a smart programmer and a helpful team member
- get questions and cries of help from everyone at the office
- get burnt out and refuse to help some people
- get labeled as lazy, bad at my job, and having a bad attitude
- gets shadow fired
- cycle repeats

It’s time to burn down the houses of every rich person - and I hope we actually fully commit this time :)

Memory just came up from reading another rant about static keyword I wanted to share. Involved a network programming assignment in Java back in my heyday.

Fellow student was told that a static member was shared between every object in a class and decided that they could use that to implement network communication (i.e. if they ran the same java program on different machines, they'd be able to communicate by reading to and writing from the same static fields).

Have a memory of sitting in corner of lab overhearing tutor lose their mind trying to (unsuccessfully) explain why this didn't work.

Doing coding from past 5 years.
Everyone treat me like regular working family member.
and then one day Dad stuck on some .gov site filling form.

He was not able to use backspace as developer forget to allow
backspace. So, I open console type the basic
document.getElementById().value = "";

Now, I am getting respect as a doctor get =_=

Blabbering co-worker rant.

So this bonker who speaks non-stop for 15 minutes without even a breather break is more annoying than I thought.

1. She used to work for a project A and then they moved her to my project. She kept cribbing she wants to continue working on A because that's where her expertise are. So management hired a new team member so she can continue on A and new member can work with me.

Now next week, the new member is joining us. As we prepare the onboarding plan, bonker comes crying that she wants to work on my project and NOT on Project A. She is forcing us to give Project A to new team member.

Manager upfront rejected her proposal and told her that she'd be working on A.

2. She literally gives orders. Her tone is rude and blunt. The other day ordered me to review her presentation and kept following up even when I said I was busy. Same tone and attitude with manager.

Then she complained about my behaviour saying I was a bossy person even when I used the most polite tone (because I have actively worked on and built my social skills).

3. Knows shit about the product, has no skill set, asks the same question 10 times, and isn't able to deliver bare minimum.

And then evidently everyone follows up with me because I am on top of everything (because I have to as bonker can't function).

4. She lied to me that company gives good hikes and easy promotions.

She was kicked out of her previous project because of her incompetency.

Fortunately or unfortunately, my manager saved her ass. But she literally is the most stupid person I have worked with me in my entire career.

5. She has no communication skills, something that is highest valued skill in my profession. And when I do my normal, it pisses her off. She keeps complaining that I am overstepping.

If I don't then product will just fall apart and everyone might get fired because of no work.

And that is causing her insecurities and she starts fear mongering about both of us being fired.

I told our manager upfront that I want to lead the product and she was more than happy about the proposal. What sucks is that my manager is leaving this month end and I'll have to build trust with my new line manager.

Ugh!! She is annoying..

(Call from a distant family member I know by name only)
Him: Hey, blah it's been awhile blah hey so I have this problem with my printer and...
Him: What do you mean you don't know about printers, can I bring it to your hou...<*click*>

Working on a school project, a teammate created a git repo, gave us all the link, but no push access, told him about it, I gave up explaining.

I still dont have push access after half a day.

Also another team member doesnt know how to write code.

I assumed that people that got accepted in a master that has software development in the title have the basic knowledge or the background at least. Even though there is a separate master especially for that, to teach you software development.

In the royal city of Aagra. My phone broke and knowing the exploitative bitch I used to meet back then I was certain had I disappeared amid a conversation she would break up with me, so I debugged an Android 2.3 image with no documentation and shaky hands from frustration while cursing her every family member in Hungarian. (Passers-by probably thought I was casting spells on my computer)

LOL that's why I love C!

The function pointer cast for strcmp because qsort expects a compare function with two const void * pointers instead of two const char * pointers, that's just beautiful.

Not to mention the hack to abuse strcmp on a struct - which just works because the first struct member is a string and the rest just gets swapped with memcpy as opaque data.

I guess that wouldn't pass a code review at work. :-)

Dear fellow project member,

I agree that most code should explain itself, but if you need to use a certain method which requires you to pass several different values of the same type and you just pass values as you like and then get, as you like to call it, 'unexpected behavior', then that is YOUR F***ING PROBLEM.

I DO know your thoughts about documenting code and I DO know you think documenting code only delays the progress, but if you for once could please CHECK THE DOCUMENTATION I WROTE, there would be no need to message me EVERY FIVE BLOODY MINUTES to complain about something that actually works when used right, just because you are too lazy to read the docs!

If you would do that next time, at least the time i spend writing documentation for our project would not be COMPLETELY WASTED! 😤

Kind Regards

A team member called me the worst manager he ever had. I felt really shitty about myself.

Managing people is not easy and it is not for everyone.

How many times do I have explain the rookiees in java developer team, that implementing an interface is not inheritance. You are not actually inheriting any member - variable or method or otherwise. You are just getting a skeleton, according to which you have write your class. THAT IS NOT INHERITANCE.

So MULTIPLE INHERITANCE does not exist in java. Period.

There is no way around it. Stop misunderstanding stuff and passing that misconceptions to newbies.

Programming on a train is always interesting. I expect a minimum of one dirty/confused look off a member of the public.

So it's been a while since I've posted as my first few months at the new job have been amazing. But now I'm running into issues with a team member that I need to get off my chest.

So my new job is front end development in React. I'm brand new to it but I was promised time to learn on the job. On my first day the team member I'm now having a conflict with offered me help. He's the most experienced so I gladly took it.

But now several months in I've noticed his teaching style doesn't work for me. He'll go into long theoretical explanations whenever I ask a question and I get overwhelmed with info. And he gets frustrated with my inability to process all that, because he feels I waste his time. So frustrated that at one time he just walked out of work and drove home, which was really upsetting to everyone.

My direct manager and my mentor in the company (our software architect), as well as our scrum master (a consultant) are all aware of the conflict. I've been assigned another colleague to help me out. Things were going ok but he got sick so I had to turn back to the team member with the conflict for assistance. Of course frustrations arose again.

Now yesterday during our sprint planning meeting we had to say what we liked and didn't like about the past sprint. And I brought up I feel I need time for learning and that I don't know where to put that, since we don't have a task for it. I said I also felt past approaches weren't working out and that I'd like to take up the offer to go on training. I was trying to word it very neutral to not upset my colleagues, as they tried their best. But the colleague who I had previous conflicts with took it personal and accused me of not listening and that is why my code is awful. While all I've been doing is rely on his code to learn. Long story short it got very heated and direct manager and scrum master who were present had to shut it down.

I'm thinking of talking to my manager and mentor today. It really hurts when you're accused of maliciousness when all you did was try. I know my code isn't perfect. But I get no help in improving it beyond long winded explanations about theory. If I ask for practical help he says he won't write my code for me. Which isn't what I expect. When I say I followed his example he says I shouldn't copy. But two sentences later he says if I don't know what I am doing I should listen to him. It's really very confused and demotivating as a beginner, but he makes it about how I waste his time and ruin his job for him. I understand he tries his best and that it has to be hard when someone seemingly is as dumb as a bag of bricks. But my manager and mentor told me they support me as long as I continue to show improvement. So I asked for alternatives (training, time to study, or whatever I haven't thought of) and now I feel like the bad person. I'm already someone with crippling low self esteem, and I'm thrown into the deep end. It kinda sucks when someone then tells you from the sideline you can't swim and how swimming works. How about tossing me one of those floaty things and then maybe accept I need to hold on to that for a bit and my technique will need work until I can make it on my own? :(

I love you devRant

I'm heading to bed here pretty quickly, but before I lay down I just wanted to say something.

I've been a long time lurker, but have just recently registered as a member. Whenever I get a chance to, I have the urge to open up devRant and take a scroll through recent posts. You guys are the best, and give me something to chuckle at. It's just really great and refreshing to find a community that is supportive, and full of so many inspiring people. It's like Shangri-La - the hidden community that you always knew existed, but could never find

Senior group project in college.

When you decide to meet up and one member doesn't show up at first meeting.

So I sent an email about the research I did on the feasibility of the project and how to implement a core requirement. 2 days later & no response yet..

Why do I think I'm gonna be the one the pull off the application by myself & then have to put name of people who have no idea how I got it to work..

Hi, I am a new member of the community and I am learning English because my English is poor.

First time I was screaming out of anger while looking at code.
I'm doing a group project in my university.
We are developing a indoor navigation Android app.
And a team mate of mine just merged this…

/*Method for help-feature.
Sets all the TouchEvents that are at least 400 ms long. This is made for all the relevant buttons or editTexts, which are seen on the mapView.
The case for mapView is needed because otherwise the other buttons, etc. wont work properly.*/

public void setButtonsForHelpDialog(){
View v = mapView;
switch (v.getId()) {
case R.id.mapview:
mapView.setOnTouchListener(…);
case R.id.buttonUp:
buttonOn.setOnTouchListener(…);
case R.id.buttonDown:
buttonDown.setOnTouchListener(…);
…
case R.id.description:
description.setOnTouchListener(…);
}}

The code is really aligned like this - no breaks. And it's even worse. There are if statements like if("constantly false var" == true). Which is highlighted by Android Studio.
This is done in a own class. The views are set via public member variables of this new class. The constant vars were added in the actual class holding the buttons and also stuff like this useless method
public void getDoStuff() {
doStuff()
}
And I could continue like this.

I never saw code this bad…
I can't even find words for it :/

Okay...not a rant. But my boss's boss is amazing! I've been with this company for about a year, and every time my lowly ass needs permission elevation to do something, I have to practically beg. And then I get elevated one little permission at a time. I have a presentation to the board on Tuesday, and all damn day it's been one network permission problem over the other. It's become insulting that I'm the only team member that has to beg for permission scraps. Today, they take me out to lunch and when I get back, sends an email and copies me on it basically instructing that I'm to receive near-God like permissions on the network. Quite an honor for being everyone's junior by like 20-25 years! I feel like I'm about to receive an Infinity Stone or something...best day ever!

To quote Charles Bukowski:
"and when nobody wakes you up in the morning, and when nobody waits for you at night, and when you can do whatever you want. what do you call it, freedom or loneliness?"
I always have tendency to fall into feeling lonely and abandoned, but these days my life is tossing some of the wildest curve balls more than ever before.
The latest one yet just happened this Monday. My manager quit and there was no knowledge transfer, and it was not on the good terms with the company.
Now I'm the only member of my team, and I have to take care of some of the projects that I've never worked on.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not setup for failure, and there are no expectations for me to know how everything works, quiet the opposite. But working with our clients and debugging the projects that I literally setting up on the fly had been a rollercoaster.
Second time in this company I will be looking for a manager in my department, and teaching them how everything works. Fun times.. fun times never change..

A recipe to make banana bread. I had to read this twice before I realized they weren't talking about a member of the quality assurance team.

(2 months old in a company)
Team members to me: we are always there for you. Ask anything you need for.

Me(today): can you please discuss this topic with me?
Team member A: I'm sorry I'm busy
Me: okay

Me: can you please discuss this topic with me?

Team member B: I got to catch the train now.
Me: we catch same train. Let's discuss during the commute.
Team member B: NO. We will not get two seats together (it's easy to find two seats).

me (in my mind): I really need help here.
Me: okay

!rant

Working on a group project, and this is how my group member writes his "if" statements.

Should I change my group?

My team member was struggling with his .json files, so to cheer him up, I came up with a joke;

"Don't worry, if the program doesn't work, I'll be your yaaaii son"

FML, I am the most senior member of my department, everyone have a questions for me, everyone need input from me, everyone cannot exist for an hour without my input. Including my manager who picks my brain on the things that he tries to research. Send help..

"This is your last chance. After this, there is no turning back. You take the blue pill - the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill - you stay in Wonderland and I show you how deep the rabbit-hole goes."

Said to a new team member before they embarked on a journey of pain as I took them through a huge web app made with jQuery (think: 10K lines of DOM manipulation horror), WCF, and sadness.

I never knew that I was a good mentor at SQL , specially at PL/SQL.

I gave a task to a new member of my team, to fill 5 tables with data from other 15 tables.

I informed him well about data table info and structure. He spended about 3 days to create 25 different queries in order to fill 5 tables.

After I saw the 25 queries, I told him, that he could do it with 1 main query and 5 insert statements.

So I spended 1 hour of training, in order to build,run and explain how to create the best sql statements for this task.

(First 5 minutes)
It was looking so simple at the beginning from starting with 1 simple join, after some steps he lost my actions.

(Rest 55 minutes)
I was explained the sql statements I 've created and how Oracle works.

Now , every time he meets me, he feels so thankful for learning him all those Oracle sql tips in 1 hour.

Now he is working only with big data and he loves the sql.

never have I ever:
boomers:
- never have I ever cheated on my husband!
- never have I ever paid my mortgage on time!
- never have I ever left my car uninsured!

zoomers:
- never have I ever found a logically sound justification to continue living
- never have I ever had a social interaction without voices in my head telling me my whole life is a secret plot to betray me spectacularly at the end
- never have I ever coped with the realization that the fabric of my reality itself is nothing but assumptions that hardened into beliefs
- never have I ever felt that my life after I started to take my prescriptions is something but a bland, ironed out shadow of what a functioning member of society should feel

Last week I got told by an incoming CTO, a week old to the organisation, that I'm good for nothing and unable to produce any work. He told me that he'll replace me and put me in a team where I'm more resourceful as I have been consistently underperforming. (He doesn't understand data science yet fyi) Then, he informed he's hiring 5 new teams members.

Me (junior data scientist) being really passionate about work was shook to hear this. So much so that it took me a week to even recover from it. I have considered counselling sessions too.

Week later, 5 new team members decide to flip his offer and not join. Another existing senior member decides to leave as well. Meanwhile, major issues in existing systems emerge and only I could solve the same. Still haven't heard back any from him though.

Is this the industry standard though ? Is this how CTOs normally function ? Throwing shit at people without knowing their value or valuing their efforts ? Especially with junior developers. It's only been 2 years in this profession and I've not met more than 3 genuine and helpful people. Maybe it's just my organization.

A member of infra team:
"Hey, we are migrating to a Microsoft office tools and we migrated your google drive data to One drive"
I go and check the new One Drive account and it's empty. So I point that out and the reply was:
"You should export your files to a zip and then import them to One Drive"
I didn't want to waste my time showing him that he is just contradicting himself in less than 5 mn and in two nearly consecutive messages.
I need more patience.

My friend: I think you two would really get along, once she heard you were a programmer, she really wanted to meet you.

Me: Sweet, OK, so you said she's pretty much in the same field as me, what does she do?

Friend: Oh she's in IT

Me: Nope.

Friend: What, why?

Me: Cute but , in terms you'll understand, you just don't try to arrange a member of the football team with the waterboy.

Becoming member of a political party.

I met a lot of smart people, had many great debates about different issues, yet most of all: I learned how dangerous group dynamics can be. (It's insane how fast Us-vs-Them-group-thinking can manifest itself.) I learned to reflect myself (the hard way) and that if I want to convince someone, rational arguments is not enough if you are a dick about it and that sometimes the how you say things is so much more powerful than the what.

Basically, I learned a valuable lesson on how (not) to communicate. I still profit from that on a daily basis in my work as a developer.

(On the other hand, the whole experience made me rather cynical about the state of the world at large.)

God I hate when dev work gets all political.
Our team had a technical meeting with a difficult partner/customer, that wants to connect to our internal service, so we are writing an Integration Service for this.
Apparently the project is very important on both sides and highly political so in the meeting there was a member of the Board of directors of them. We just wanted to check one feature to verify they can connect, etc.
After some minor bugs showed up, that guy goes on ranting about how this is all a joke ("Verarschung" literally) and how we did not deliver all features yet as promised (Note : that was not promised) and basically indirectly personally attacked us, our company and our team.

It's incredible how such assholes can stay in such positions.

People of devRant. I am in need of some advice.

So I joined this new firm around an year ago and ever since my team lead resigned, we have been managing it ourselves. Then a senior member suggested me that I could be a good fit as a team lead role. Now there are members in my team that are more experienced than I am but they either don't want to lead or are not good at it. I never had a formal leadership role before although I have driven projects. Higher management is open overlook my lack of experience but has also said that I may not find lot of technical growth as I am moving to a more administrative role. Any piece of advice on what I should do? I would love to have a leadership role but would it really affect my technical learning?

Just discovered I still have access to my old employers source code on VSTS, and can see from here that that there is a new team member!?

👿 I was made redundant "times are tough, there's not enough money, you were last in so first out" mother of fuck!

I wonder how many other places do this sort of thing.

I just love PHP. You can do so much awesome stuff with it. Here, let me show you:

How to READ a private member of an object:
$reader = \Closure::bind(function ($instance, $name) {
return $instance->{$name};
}, null, $instance);
$value = $reader($instance, $name);

How to WRITE a private member of an object:
$writer = \Closure::bind(function ($instance, $name, $value) {
$instance->{$name} = $value;
}, null, $instance);
$writer($instance, $name, $value);

See? Just like that. This is really amazing stuff. I don't know of any other languages that allow this.

Here's the changes I propose to the world:
– Every grave should display the formal death cause. Like "asphyxia", "cardiac arrest", etc, not like "was shot dead".
– Every member of a firing squad that performs an execution should have real ammo. There should be no moral escape such as "at least I could be the one with fake ammo so I'm not guilty". Yes you are.
– The word "disk" is deprecated and replaced with "disc" everywhere.

Everything else in this world is fine.

Alright, server got hacked a week ago. Bad enough on its own but okay, perfect time to change the server infrastucture completely instead of doing it later this year. Since Saturday we are working on setting everything up (game server, apache, etc.pp.) while making sure to configure everything correctly to be safer this time.

We are finally at the point where we could go back online. And what happens? One team member _now_ (6 days after the hack) suggests that it might be a good idea to format the hacked server and configure just what we need to patch the clients with it.

Great fucking idea, why didn't you have that idea 5 days earlier?! There was more than enough time already to format the old server and configure it. Another day delay, yay. X_X

Aaah, ranting really helps in those situations. Oh and Hi, I'm new here. Nice place, I like it. ^_^

Team member knows x better than me?

No fucking way am I gonna ask them to do it. Even if I have to learn the whole damn thingamajig from scratch. Coffee and some Halo OST are all I need, baby!

(In fairness to myself, said teammate is a bit of a hijacker when it comes to helping...)

So I was working on a website for a club in my college. I designed a pretty decent UI and at first everyone accepted it. So I made a working website with my friend, made backend with node and all was set.

After that, the fucking member of club brought in another graphic designer for changes. And they literally made the whole website with heavy images. The designer made heavy neon backgrounds in Adobe Illustrator and didn't even compressed it.

They made the whole fucking website with images and they ran it all on localhost and were happy with the speeds! ಠ_ಠ

They even put an image in fucking Navbar!

And then I left that project, I could not see more destruction.

One thing that @scout taught me is to wear the oxygen mask myself before helping others. Oh she is a sweetheart.

This advice has stuck with me since and slowly & steadily, I am regaining my lost confidence and self love.

Remember, how I was struggling for clarity a couple of months ago? But now, I feel more clear in head.

During the start of the pandemic, I joined a community of corporate normies. I used to live happier until that decision.

That place made me ultra competitive and I subconsciously became a rat trying to win the race. I damaged myself more than I benefited.

I joined at the time of inception. Every core member is a good friend.

Now the fun thing is, they moved to Slack. Many of the core members run the community as admins.

While I don't engage much, but talk to some of them occasionally.

One key area is, running a job board to help people get jobs. And another is mentorship to help the members overcome challenges and grow in their career.

In DMs, literally every core member who is doing this for others is struggling themselves for the same. How fucking ironic!

They seek help and advice from me and vent out their failure frustrations.

Imagine, someone who isn't able to solve their problem, let alone solving it first before helping others, is guiding the community of few thousands to excel in their careers.

Fucking brilliant.

One of the biggest life lessons @scout taught me, wear your oxygen mask first before helping others.

My image of dream career through different times of my life:
- frontend specs prodigy, css enlightenment, a member of w3c or a similar committee
- indie hacker and entrepreneur, leader of a startup community
- architecture prodigy, expert in scalability
- transsexual evangelist, popular article writer and a rockstar
- hardware engineer: Linux, C, chip and dale’s Gadget-like girlfriends, xkcd, latex, assembly, buying a radio station and a telescope
- scientist like NickyBones, papers, data, more data
- art expert

Though achieving one of this would take the entire life, I had a chance to grasp all of this. WHY does they feel so incompatible? Why do I have to choose?

Why do I feel so sad? Why do I feel like I haven’t achieved anything even though I objectively achieved what I dreamed of like five years ago?

Is it true that it’s in my nature to always seek an environment to feel like a junior in? Is feeling like a junior only pleasant to me because it reminds me of old times when I wasn’t actually this mentally ill and was still happy?

Why do I feel like that arduino and C shit is the equivalent of a red corvette?

Records Person: Can you look at this member renewal issue for system A? It’s happening on the website you maintain. Here are some recent errors to debug.

Me (web developer): I can’t reproduce the error your reporting. Is there something I’m missing? And is there an example for the staging environment?

RP: There’s another team that will manually reconcile the records in system A if they don’t match what’s in system B. So this gives users two active memberships when it should only be one.

Me: 😑 So you already know the issue is human intervention messing with the records and causing the renewal issue. This is not a website issue. It’s a data issue.

I like my log messages to indicate automatically where in the code something happened, so that I can easily identify where a message originated from while tracking down problems.

In C/C++ this is nice and easy - write a logging routine, wrap it in macros for the different log levels and have that automatically output __FILE__, __LINE__ etc.

I wanted to do something similar in NodeJS, as I'd found myself manually writing the file name in the log message and then splitting functionality out into new files and it became a mess.

The only way I found to be able to do this was to create an "Error" object and access the "stack" member of it. This is a string containing a stack backtrace, suitable for writing to console/file. I just wanted the filename/line/routine.

So I ended up splitting the string into lines, then for each of the lines, trimming the surrounding spaces (or tabs?), and parsing them to see if the stack entry is inside my logger module. The first entry outside of that module must therefore be the thing that called it, so I then parse out the routine or object and method, filename and line number.

It's a lot of clumsy work but the output is pretty neat. I just wish it were simpler!

I hate it when a family member ask me to fix something and I fold and try and fix it. I start to troubleshoot and they see what I'm doing and say "oh I thought you knew how to fix it, NVM I can do it." Like wtf this is how u fix stuff

So someone complained to my bosses boss about some internal page where I collected some of our own funny git commit messages, because they were not "meaningful", and I had to take down said page.

Fuck that narrow-minded seriousness, why be so German? If we have to debug multi-threaded C++ programs, we need that bit of fun and sarcasm to stay sane. But probably that someone is a member of some of these "professional" Agile teams that waste a day a week with fucking retros, sprint planning or other mind-crippling meta stuff, then evaluating frameworks and tools, while we are doing motherfucking programing.

mrawesome@dextel2 : ~ vi thankyou.txt

I just want to thank you each and every member of devRant to be there through my thick and thin. That's all. I could find any other safe community to share my ups and downs...So thank you everyone and thank you David and Trogus for making this amazing app and website. Love you all <3.

A remake of a website named Death Roulette where Twitch viewers could bet against each other on how the streamer would die in different roguelike games like Spelunky or Crypt of The Necrodancer.

The original hadn't been updated in a long time and the API it used for Twitch authentication was deprecated and removed so I built my own version in about 2 months, just in time for streamer "Vargskelethor" Joel to play Spelunky 2 with his chat when the game came out.

Needed a bit of help from another chat member to get it running at scale but all in all that was my first full-stack project.

I want to fuck the whole Skype team until death for blocking my contacts and won't let me to make any call with my father and my family member. FUCK YOU SKYPE.

Happy new year to all devRanters !

I clearly don't understand how StackOverflow works. I posted a solution I came up with in a Q&A style, thinking it's a way for me to contribute to the community.

When I researched the challenge I needed to solve, I didn't find any elegant solutions that would have helped me achieve what I was aiming for.

One commentator said my post wasn't a real question about a real coding challenge, and wasn't compliant with SO guidelines.

Another commented that my search provider was clearly inadequate.

My submission was voted down so I just removed it with the intention of sharing it elsewhere.

It's almost as if StackOverflow resists contributions from newer users. Or, as I suggested at the outset, I clearly don't understand how to be a productive member of that community.

I think I fucked up today's interview. Opening with non-technical questions really threw me off kilter.
"What happened the last time you conflicted with another team member?"
IDK, ask me what "static" means in C# or just let me solve "FizzBuzz".

The company I work for now has so much tech debt. When I find an issue, I can’t necessarily fix it right away because I have other priorities. If something isn’t a site-breaking issue, then I only fix it when a user or staff member reports it.

The website is a mess because it was built and maintained by an outside dev agency. It was so expensive to outsource that my employer decided to bring development in-house.

That’s where I came in. I found so many issues. Tech debt. UX weirdness. Newish features that no one seemed to use. It goes on.

So I’m balancing new feature development, fixing bugs, and trying to lessen our tech debt. I’m a team of one.

I am a computer science student and have worked with Java and C++ until now. A week ago i started in a job i have gotten from my professor. I have to reverse engineer a big python project and figure out how some things work on the serverside. This is the first time i have to work with python.

I get that you can write code fast with this dynamically typed language, but BOY. Is it just me or is this language fucking hard to reverse engineer? I mean what the fuck. There are some member variables in which can be anything. Like you suggest there is an object of this and that and then python comes in and is like: Good guess, but fuck you.

So we have this team bonding and feedback session every monday, where everyone in the team needs to say what they appreciate of their team member and what they wish the team member would change... The whole thing takes about 2 hours.

Honestly, feel like a corporate BS, what feedback do you want? Just do your job and I am happy with it... Well I guess that's part of the corporate world, instead of just doing your job, it is about how big your "influence" is in the company and how many people like you

I was about 8. A family member was like a secretary, but not exactly. There are was a term used, but I can't remember. It's not really that important.

Anyways, I was like 8. Their job consisted of backing data up on.... Floppy disks. The software they used to back this data up just used a console and you had to input commands. Well this was amazing to me at the time. So they taught me the order of the commands and let me do it. Was the most fascinating thing to me. And it definitely planted the seed of interest in computers.

Some other early experiences also involve me hanging around the IT guy that worked with my relative. He taught me a little bit, such as some keyboard short cuts.

One hour before a deadline, one of my team members notified me he had completed his task and signed off. The only thing left to do for me was to merge our branches and submit the code for review. This was supposed go smooth with only a few changes made. But for some reason the build kept crashing and this ONE hour before the deadline and no way to reach my team member... This was a stressful situation to say the least.

And yes I am aware that you are not supposed to be merge branches one hour before deadlines.

Once I signed up for newsletter at grid. I don't consider myself a grid member and now they call me a gridster... trying too hard to establish a loyal community 😅 I guess i should now feel like i belong. "I am a gridster, deal with it"

Yay finally summer started
Ye no fuck that
After being "migrated" into a newer smaller office and getting another team member we are now three people on about 5 square meters of space.

Another good thing is that we don't have an air conditioning unit in the new room and gained a few more PCs.
Oh and did I mention that we are on the sunny side of the building now.

Basically we are working in Satan's Asshole now. Good thing is that I am working on a thermometer now.
35 degrees Celsius is still alright isn't it?

Oh and our fan broke today.

Through my previous employer's complete incompetence and lack of a spine I had to work two days during my last holiday. He'd managed to approve time off for all three of the remaining staff at the same time, so as a compromise, our six day work week was covered by all of us for two days a piece. Sooo maybe not technically not coding on holiday?

The business could just about scrape by on one staff member, so the boss should've allowed the holidays to those who requested it first (myself and one other), but that would've caused problems with the third person who he just so happened to be related to.

I was made redundant a few months later. The company is in the a lot of trouble and on its last legs, but the one member of staff who kept their job was the least capable and, surprise surprise, the relative.

I had a dream freelance job recently. It was a lot of a fun and I really wanted to continue to work there.

However it started to become apparent my manager was a mess. He would often turn up hungover and couldn’t follow conversation. When asked about docs he said he wouldn’t keep any documentation “so no one could take over”. The whole attitude and professionalism was awful.

Some days on release he (and another member of the team) would turn up to work four hours late as they’d been out the night before. I would absorb all of the impact. Technically I felt he was quite significantly junior than myself. Management saw, directors saw, no one did anything.

To cut a long story short - I raised it with HR, I was told unless I raised an “official grievance” nothing would be done. I asked if I could move - I was met with a shrug “we don’t know”

I eventually reached a point where I felt my only real power is to walk away.

I now have no confidence in HR at all. I don’t think I’ll ever involve or raise anything with them again. 😔

I have *created* a new team member :) I think he alone could replace most of the team.

Kind of makes you think what have we been doing with our time all those years. If all that work can be automated :/

The worst of Agile and Sc(r)um: All those people knowing the right way(™) to do it. Endless discussion about useless tooling: the proper use of the custom workflow in Jira, on when and how to create sub tickets. The hour-less meta-discussions on what should be discussed where and when (what's subject of the backlog refinement, retro, etc), the roles: the PO's, what he should do, cannot, the PM's. Who is allowed to pull a ticket to the sprint or not. How many reviewers need to acknowledge a pull request. To and fro. Pointless, but fought with heart and blood, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.

And everywhere I hear: "In my previous company, we did Scrum like.. and it worked perfectly!"

Some of you might remember my rants on Mr. Gitmaster, with whom I thought I'd made my peace. Guess what? He's now a team member and turning into Mr. Agile - a more severe reincarnation! As our company starts flogging that dead horse of Agility, he seems to feel strong tailwind. Our team lead would constantly cut his monologues, but he's now on holiday, so we have no escape from the never ending: "In my previous company..."

If it was so great, why didn't you stay?

We are not allowed to pull a ticket to the sprint unless every team member is notified? I don't fucking care. If our software fails on customer's machines and I can fix it, I will do if there is a ticket, if it's in the sprint or not. Screw Scrum, if it is getting in the way of it. You can waste your hours discussing horseshit, I want to sit at my desk, deep in the test-compile loop and ship some fucking code.

We have a new team member in our team. So I was giving her one to one KT. After KT

She: so are there new changes coming soon?

Me: Yes there will. Now you here I could really use a hand.

She: that's what he said

Hmm.. I've noticed a trend in teams at companies: they always seem to have similar personalities, rather than similar skills.

For example, if the team leader is a pathetic, pretentious, sarcastic, frigid, lifeless loser who pretends he's happy, then he usually has a herd of equally pathetic and frigid losers following him. I notice that every time I apply to a company that has such a group, they instantly disqualify me as a member. Interesting, interesting..

The same goes for a company that has down-to-earth people like myself, then the team is usually a down-to-earth manager and down-to-earth, warm-hearted colleagues.

It all makes sense now.

During my time at university my friend got me a job, he said. He explained there was someone who was a member of some student club where they needed a website. Me and this person met and discussed the scope of the project, "nothing major but it will take some time" I thought to myself.

I gave her a rough estimation and told her my rate (extremely cheap). She looked at me and said "I was thinking a case of beer would be enough?".

We were both students, but seriously?? I almost contacted a proper company to give them the details just to get a real cost estimation to shove it in her snug fucking face!

being the good guy that I am I was helping out a family member over the phone. Frozen computer was the verdict... Eventually it turned out the computer wasn't frozen at all, the batteries of the magic mouse had died... thanks for wasting my valuable time! I then told em I would only help if they used cables for everything, including wifi. It took 3 weeks for them to realise Wifi cables don't exist. revenge can be satisfying sometimes!

I have a very annoying person in my team, who thinks he is the leader and is so full of himself that once he gets some idea he makes it final without listening to other's opinion, kinda anti-humble.
Today he was explaining that we are going to implement this feature and one of the member had a doubt which was legit so that guy started explaining it, but didn't really understood what the question was ( as he always does) he was heated up already as he was explaining the same thing again and again but it was nowhere near what the exact question was, by mistake I entered the conversation and tried to explain the question to him, he became so annoyed that he lost all his patient and shouted at me to shut up. Not only I felt bad but also found myself helpless in such situation i didn't know what to do, I was annoyed like anything, and now I think that I don't really know how to deal with annoying people such annoying and toxic people..

Oh boy, a bright new day 🌞.

Will this be a productive day with me getting my tasks done like a functioning member of society,

Or will I drown in my own sorrows and want to spend the whole day in bed.

Let's see what happens.

We write our feature specifications in Gherkin, so it is clear to every member of the team (even nondevs GASP!) exactly what each feature should do.

SO WHY THE FUCK, AFTER BUILDING THE FEATURE, DO I GET REVIEWS FROM THE pRoDuCt MaNaGeRs, SHOWING ME THEY WANT SOMETHING DIFFERENT FOR THE FEATURE. YOU WROTE THE FUCKING FEATURE DID YOU HAVE A CHANGE OF HEART MID THOUGHT YOU IDIOT!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I'M SO SICK OF IT I'M SICK OF WORKING 12 HOURS ON A FRIDAY FOR YOUR STUPID SHIT

first on call shift, have no fucking clue what im doing, have no fucking clue what belongs to what team, and why the fuck i as a member of NONE of these teams have to sort this shit out

then proceed to get interrupted by new pages as im trying to figure out what the fuck is going on with previous ones

the silver lining is its all low prio shit at least

Fuck it. Two big releases plus all the minor shit raining down on our team with only three active devs. A new team member who's unfortunately more of a burden and nuisance while the whole ship burns so beautifully....
And stupid me? I fucking break my arm, is in a cast now for four weeks. So I can mostly watch, while everything sinks.

Once I went for this women-centric hackathon that had to have at least one female member in the team. On winning, one of the other winning (male) devs commented on how I was probably there just to complete the team even when I did most of the work.
Don't know if it's the fact that I have green hair or the fact that I'm a girl.

We are in middle of sprints where neither tech lead or PM knows what we r trying to achieve. When does as team member I suppose to start panicking???

Not a rant, just the completion of a very demanding and interesting task for this week.

Wrote a whole data scheme for this enterprise app my company is developing. Very proud of it, since it has a very restricted size, multiple layers of encryption and data verification, several user types with different requirements, and it all has to be rock solid in an offline environment.

The punchile is...I enjoyed writing the documentation for the whole package more than I should, I guess...spent the whole day being very thorough and documenting every member, function, constructor and exception.

Feelin fabulous.

I don't wanna work 😭. My company is making me work like a donkey. I have to commute for a total of 4 hours (to and fro). I get hella tired when i reach home. I don't have any energy or life. I feel lifeless and everything makes me irritated. They are paying me $5300 in a year( i am from india) with a bond. It just seems like they are exploiting me. 😭 I can concentrate on preparing for DSA and make projects in order to switch my job. I just can't keep working, working and working at the same place with the same people inside the same cubicle. I feel so fucking irritated, lifeless and sleep deprived. They are recruiting freshers and paying more salary to them who doesn't even know how to code! And here i have been working straight for 1 year(including internship) with very good feedbacks from everyone. When i asked if i could get wfh permanently, manager said no but at the same time gave permanent wfh to the other team member having much greater experience. I feel so so sad. I finish all my work on time no matter where i am and always gets good feedback. 😭

"Hello. I am team-member-1 from GitLab, I am ok, thank you!"
This is the most wanted rant that I would love to see here.

I hate the feature of c# that a member variable can be used as an function!

Let me get this variable. why does my cpu spike?
Because it calls 10 other functions to fill this float when needed.

float progress{
get { return DoWorkInDifferentFunctions(); }
}

Use this instead:

float CalculateProgress(){
return DoWorkInDifferentFunctions();
}

because people will use this like:

if(progress > 10.0f && progress < 25.0f){
DoStuff(progress);
}

Instead of:
float CurrentProgress = CalculateProgress();
if(CurrentProgress > 10.0f && CurrentProgress < 25%){
DoStuff(CurrentProgress );
}

@#$%&*$#^&*!!

A new team member joined us today. After introduction, he grabbed a chair. F*** YOU, IT'S JUST YOUR FIRST DAY BUT YOU'D GRAB KATE'S CHAIR WHO JUST TOOK A COFFEE BREAK?! PET PEEVES I HATE CHAIR GRABBERS

So I’m in a bit of a pickle.
I’ve become involved with a pretty fast paced group project. We’ve got 9 weeks to write up a mock PDR and all of the communication is done through Discord and teleconferences. As of last week an issue came up where one of the teammates (Black) felt accused by Red of being called authoritative and feels disrespected by the following message: “I don't know if I'm picking up on it correctly, but it feels like you want to control every situation. I feel like you're trying to take on a part of everyone's role so that you also need more people a part of each sub category. I think whatever happened is done whether we did turn it in late or not, I don't think we need to pressure others to do more that is needed. Also, Project Manager's dad passed. Not to make it an excuse, but I think it should be taken into consideration. Also, we didn't even verify all the positions til the meeting we had. So even still, we would have had to turn it in late since there were so many arrangements
If you don't trust your other members to do their job without having to be supervised, it can be counterintuitive to the whole teamwork aspect.” This message was sent after we missed a deadline to submit a team organization chart and Black team member insisted on becoming a third Assistant Project manager while making it seem as the other 2 APM’s were incompetent at their job.
Although I agree that it is difficult to communicate all of your emotions through written messages, I still think that taking your tone into consideration is crucial when working remotely. Am I wrong? Is there a better way to work with this team member? It’s still very early on in the project and this is the first time I’m working on a project with others with very little face to face communication. Typically when similar issues became present in other group projects, we would all sit down and discuss it and try to reach an agreement (or at least an understanding of where everyone is come from). Any advice is seriously appreciated.

!dev

I wanted to buy some lightning deals on Amazon today but the total was like $23.50 and free shipping requires $25.

I bought a few $25+ items last few weeks so I figure they should be able to waive it...

Chat with CS and they're like no we can't.

WELL FCK U!!!!! I'VE ACTUALLY BEEN PRIME FOR 2YRS AND JUST ENDED A FEW MONTHS AGO... AND IMMEDIATELY THEY'RE LIKE, WE DON'T KNOW U...

(The person actually started out saying thanks for being a Prime member)

Not that it'll matter to them... But just needed to rant...

Something they don't tell you about c++ development until it's too late: cross-compiler compatibility is an enormous monster.

When I worked with C# creating a DLL and distributing it to others is a completely transparent process, there's no special considerations required at all.

In c++ you basically aren't allowed to use the standard library in many cases. You can't just export a class with a standard string as a member because when another person goes to use your DLL, the string might have a different implementation.

Co-workers with low commitment to a project are the worst to have. I am willing to trade technical depth for commitment in a team member any fucking day! Tech is easy to learn, work ethics not so much!

So where I work now, there is this developer in my team who I feel like doesn't know how to do any kind of tests for web apps. I was given the task of testing some of their additions to the application we develop and, I swear, it's like they never even made a dent in the application according to what they were supposed to do.

So instead of testing the "changes", I basically had to rewrite the entire part of the application that was their responsibility! It was like they didn't even know what was going on at all and this developer has been working at the company for two decades!

I'm kind of tired of dealing with this developer at this point because project management is constantly pushing some of their tasks on to me because they can't seem to finish it for some reason. :-/

Obviously, I will continue to work with this co-worker of mine because they are a member of the team and respect them as a member, but seriously, they should do more research on their own time of modern web development languages and frameworks to save us all a headache. They came from the world of desktop app development so I feel they haven't adjusted to the industry change very well.

When I say I'm in "DevOps" what I really mean is that I'm a full-stack engineer, DBA, system administrator, security engineer, auditor, cloud custodian, cost optimization expert, and everything else that doesn't get its own dedicated staff member here. Pretty much the catch all between developers and customer.

I have to meet with a staff member who is generally good at her job but has become increasingly disrespectful and resistant to any direction. Her attitude makes it difficult for me to work with her, but every time I talk to her about anything she is so unpleasant about it and afterwards it is almost the silent treatment. Do you have suggestions for me as her manager to address the attitude without making the whole situation even more unpleasant?

I know I can’t make her respect me, but is there a way that discussing her disrespectful attitude will result in a better attitude and not just make the problem worse?

In PC World yesterday after reserving an item online for "Collection within minutes". Took about 20 mins to get there.

Went to the collection desk and gave them my reservation number. Staff member (very friendly and nice) went to go get it. Waited 10 mins for them to come back and say "I'm having trouble finding it...".

I said thanks anyway then went next door to maplin to get what I needed.

Just annoyed they promise a collection in minutes service and the item doesn't even exist in the store.

Maybe as they don't specify the minutes it's actually ready to collect in a million minutes.

My Teamleader is such a dick, he has mental and isn't able to act as a normal human being. The year started with his disappointment that we didn't worked for the company during the holidays! Sorry, but my family has higher priority than the company, especially during the jolly days, you lonely nerd without any interest beside sitting in front of your computer all day long.
He managed to get me thinking about moving to another company. I need the harmony in the team and won't fight every single fucking day. I noticed that I get very nervous when he enters the room. Everyone in the team is hating to discuss things with him because he knows it better.
The problem is that we're a small team with big responsibilities for each developer. Loosing one team member is quite hard to compensate.
Should I still try move? I guess the harmony with all your teammates is evenly important as it's in a good relationship, right?

I wasn't here for a long time, maybe because everything was ok. Until yesterday. One of my friends works for a government organization and they fucked a big database lately and every member was working their ass to fix it. My friend gave all of his current freelance jobs to me. I don't usually do freelance because I don't like working under such stress. For 2 days I've experienced the stress of my year and fuck this shit never ends. EVERY FUCKING TIME I FINISH A FUCKING TASK, NEW ONE APPEARS. I FUCKING HATE IT AND CAN'T STOP IT BECAUSE IT IS NOT MINE OWN. FUCK THIS SHIT I CAME FROM VACATION A WEEK AGO AND NOW I NEED A NEW ONE.

Learning C/C++ started to become fun, mainly because I've managed to do seemingly cursed stuff lately.
For example, today, I learned you could totally call a class member function using a type-matching nullptr variable. The 'this' variable is so null that it will crash as soon as the program hits 'this', though, but the control flow does go into the function.
It's not *that* cursed once you learn the behind-the-scene stuff, but that kind of weird s#!+ is funny, even amusing for me, who've mained languages other than C/C++.

Look, extra remote team member. If I hired you with the express requirement that you work and/or live in sync with my time zone, and you claim to live and work in my time zone for a few weeks but you're lying to me and you were actually just on vacation here and have moved back overseas, you SUCK. And now we're firmly entrenched with the project and it's near impossible to fire you at this point if I don't want to deal with a whole new developer and learning curve!!!

Golang, I love you to death.

But I will have you know that unsuccessfully scouring the web for why my json config file wasn't being read into the struct followed by almost two hours of messing around with every little thing... And I discover that the fucking problem was my struct member names needed their first letters to be uppercase. Ridiculous.

Gotta love spending forever overthinking. The solution is often too simple!

A few months back, I was having the last few days of my college / university. Already had a job offer, wasn't fond of attending classes, so I had not much to do. I had been a student placement coordinator, and a few of other student coordinators along with the University Placement Cell decided to overhaul the current placement structure with a new, more efficient one. So, they asked whether I could take interviews (along with a few others) for new placement coordinators, who'd take over the following year, making the existing posts null and void.

So, I was interviewing a 2nd year girl for the technical team. In her form, she had mentioned that she'd been an executive member of the programming club of our University, founded the previous year, was peaking in terms of popularity among other clubs.

I found it strange, and during the interview, I kept pushing it until she accepted that she was just a member and not an executive member.

Then, I asked, do you know Bugs Buggy (name changed)... She said, yes, he is the founder of that club. I said, I am, Bugs Buggy.

Felt thug life B)

!rant

With how fast things are improving in the information age, there's one thing I might not ever hear again.

"(Name of family member) get off the phone I am using the internet!!"

Feeling reminiscnt.

What's yours?

IDK why I get annoyed by underscores before private member names... Is i it useful or just an old relic?

Jesus our security infrastructure people are stupid. They are telling us to secure a service that we don’t want accessible directly by the role “member” setup to be accessible by “member”. All because they “don’t want us changing identities in the middle of a chain of web service calls”. They are like “don’t worry, the fire wall keeps them out”.

That’s like saying “here’s the key to the bank vault, but you won’t ever get past the security guards so it’s okay that you have it.”

I swear this company is stone stupid.

Yesterday, the Project Manager forwarded an email from a staff member who worked on a donations campaign. Staff member was confused about a Cloudflare challenge that appeared before the user was sent to the donation page. It’s a less than 5 second JavaScript check. He thought it looked fishy.

I had to explain that it’s a security measure that’s been up for almost a month. PM knows this but left it to me to explain because ownership of the site is on me. The donations page and api gets hit by a lot of bots because it’s a public api and there are no security measures like captchas to deter the bots. I’m inheriting this website and I didn’t build it.

Staff member says other staff want to know if the Cloudflare page can be customized so it looks more legit. Um, Cloudflare is a widely known legit service. Google it.

A few thoughts pop into my head:

1. Engineering communicated to stakeholders about the Cloudflare messaging a month ago.

2. Wow, stakeholders don’t share relevant info with their staff who aren’t on these emails.

3. Woooow, stakeholders and staff don’t look at the website that often.

On the introduction day of my Computer science course, we all were to sit in "welcome groups" and tell a little bit about our programming background.
Most of us were beginners, but one of the guys told me he'd been "messing around with some Java a while back", so I thought I'd ask him about help when we had our first real Java programming assignment. I was surprised to learn that he wasn't able to help me at all. He seemed to know less than me, a complete beginner, on the different OO concepts and Java syntax. Furthermore, he seemed to have zero interest in anything development related.

It was later revealed that he meant that he had been messing around with INSTALLING Java on his computer a while back, but never really made it work. *facepalm*

Needless to say, he was a great group member in the assignments that followed. /s

std::chrono is::a::fucking::pile::of::dog::shit. What a fucking disgrace. Hated it in boost, now this shit is in std. Each time I use it, I have to use google. Google should become part of std chrono in c++, without it you cannot write chrono code.

To make time_point member in your own class you have to do this: std::chrono::high_resolution_clock::time_point t; ... WTF

I had an uncle named Severin. He died just three days after birth because of lung malfunction.

His grave is long abandoned and no member of my very large family can remember where it is.

Had far too sparetime and found out that Wix wasn't making real websites. Found out that a pretty cool tool named "inspector" existed and then I was in. I used all the time I could afford by taking courses, study and get a small job last summer. Then I became a member of devRant aaaaand then my productivity decreased dramatically 😁

Is there a limitation of how much I can commit in git each day in a separate 'feature-branch'?

Cause, I had to explain to a team member (somewhat senior than me) why I committed 9 times in a single 8 hours task(s) (according to him where it was two separate tasks done in a single day).

When I said, I prefer to save my progress in a small commit (at least try my best to write meaningful commit)", I turned out to be a stupid team member. 😔

"Oh computer, your real name should be porn funnel. I love my family more than you, but only collectively. on a case by case basis I love you more than any individual family member. "
-Nerd 'robot chicken'

My wife and I have a dispute that goes on for two years already — who's the hottest member of Red Hot Chili Peppers, current or previous. I say John Frusciante, she says Flea.

Just spent 2 days figuring out the issue for flickering of path drawn on canvas through sockets.

Every team member had already tried to figure out the bug.

I had checked almost everything and at last I was about to give up.

I gave a try, and it worked. How, no one knows...

Just changed 'lineData' to 'JSON.stringify(lineData)'

:)

Once I helped one of my friends writing a coding project for an interview for him.

We worked out a solution in C++. I showed him all the class hierarchies, how the flow worked and so on.

The day after he told me he re-wrote it in C# as he was more confident with it. Fair enough.

He changed most of the names using camel + underscore notation, sometimes starting with a capital letter, sometimes not!

But the best (or, rather, worst) was to convert the class hierarchy in a big class with all stuff in it, called "CMother". That got me. This class had a couple of static methods that took a lot (if not all) inputs that somehow coincided with the member variables of another class and did some work with them (like a constructor of that class would do).

Needless to say, he didn't got the job