"Don't give your 100%. Never. Once you gave, managers will start expecting more than that." - My mentor.

Shared screen with a client over Skype. Showed them in Postman that their API wasn't working as expected. It was expecting a json. Instead it was giving error code 400 instead of 200.
Message :
"Error: No error. All OK"

I'll never forget the words of the client:

"Don't use all this fancy software, you don't know how to call APIs, open Internet Explorer or chrome and paste it in the bar. You'll see All OK, means all is okay."

*insert you dense mf meme here*

This is not the kind of bug I was expecting...

Me : Here's my resignation.
Boss : No need.
Me (Expecting some good words) : Why sir?
Boss : Here's your termination.

id·i·ot

ˈidēət/

noun

Not paying me for 3 months and expecting me to reply to client emails

synonyms: my boss

Insanity: Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.

Programming: Doing many different things numerous times and expecting a single result.

There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary, those who don't, and those who weren't expecting a base-3 joke!

Hey frontend developers. If you do THIS:

z-index: 1000;

...expecting that it will ensure your div will be on top no matter what, I'm about to fuck your world up. Check this shit out:

z-index: 1001;

Was working on a group project.. I ask my partner to give me the code he was working on. Expecting link to repo or at very worst an email

I GET A FUCKING IMESSAGE W 1000+ LINES OF CODE

Me after a large Git merge, after expecting masses of merge conflicts and getting none. Life is good my friend.

”OMG WE CAN’T GET INTERNET TO WORK! WE CAN’T DO ANYTHING! PLEASE COME AND HELP US ASAP!!!!!”

*rush over there, expecting the worst*

”So yeah, what’s the WiFi password again?”

:|

Human: "Why did you buy an old iPhone?"

Me: "Mostly for cross-platform development"

*Apparently that was not the answer they were expecting*

Just got a reply from a client complaining that the site I did for him is "too responsive".

Never got this kind of complain.

Normally I might get some complains about the site not being fully responsive but never was I expecting to receive a "site is too responsive" complain.

I waited until yesterday evening to watch the livestream capture from our creators.

Was expecting something like them being bought by MS or Google or whatever due to how good this awesome network is doing/growing.
As so, i was mentally preparing for a goodbye (the second this data gets into the hands of a data hogging company I'm fucking out (as in, the one who owns the databases)) and then I started watching the livestream.

"aaand here it issssss!!"

"DevDucks!"

😮😅😆😂😊

Well that was one hell of a relief!

1024 points of soldering !!

Wasn't expecting that when I began, but it's quite interesting and the result will look amazing ^^
I'm making a LED matrix from 0, controlled by an Arduino, it will look really good when it's finished, I plan to use it to display notifications, clock, sound spectrum etc...
What do you think of it ? 😇

Is fucking Tumblr expecting me to untick fucking all of these?! (And this is only 1/10th of the page)

One of my interview question for fresh graduates was to switch 2 variable values without adding a new variable.

I was expecting something like

a= readline()
b= readline()
a+= b
b= a - b
a-= b

And some kid answered:

a= readline()
b= readline()
print("a=" + b)
print("b=" + a)

I ain't even mad

Can y'all share some good programming questions for interviewing fresh graduates?

Expecting Apple fan boys' comments in 3..2..1 !

Told the CEO I was looking at other jobs. I could see in realtime how all joy in his soul sipped out of him, followed by a 30 minute rant why I should stay and blah blah blah(heard it all before).

Little did he know, I'm expecting three final "yes"es by Friday, and I got a call 5 minutes before I talked to him saying "Hi, we have a contract ready for you to sign if you want it" 😂 Pretty proud of myself for getting a new job on a big firm, in under two weeks 😎

So I walk to work and pass this sign for a place called helloworld experts in everywhere.

And eventually I was curious enough to go to their website and to my surprise they're a travel company :(

I was expecting some sort of software development company with focus on cloud software due to their slogan, pretty disappointed.

I was expecting a couple of stickers from DigitalOcean. Little did I know this is what they were sending. 😁

Thought of this but no one would truly get it anywhere else...

Family myFamily = new Family();
myFamily.add("husband", "Sept 2011");
myFamily.add("wife", "Sept 2011");
myFamily.add("cat", "July 2012");
myFamily.add("child", "August 2019");

Have a demo to manager today.

I am expecting everything to go as wrong as possible.

I downloaded this expecting it to be just guys arguing over stupid shit like iOS Vs Android, but I've been pleasantly surprised, everyone seems a lot nicer than the comments sections on tech websites

Never try to learn a new platform that uses a language you are not really comfortable with while expecting to build something during an hackathon.
Never.

I received my Driver's licence today. Yayy!! (I had been waiting for it for quite some time,worried if it will ever reach me)
Then I casually asked the postman. If there was any other package for me, because I am expecting a little blue package sent from US.
And he said he'll go back and check.

A few minutes later the door bell rang again 😍🤩
Here they are 😋.

I hope,even the devrant stickers reach me soon 😣.

Virtual interview starts and the HR lady:

Oh I was expecting a man!!

(I wasn’t expecting you get surprised!?)

Haven’t you ever worked with female developers in your company or know that it is actually not big news? Some companies have a lot of female engineers including the ones I worked for.

In Central Europe in this age of time?

She was a lovely lady though. I just said

I hope you’re pleasantly surprised 😊

*is expecting guests and while waiting his coding*

*Bell rings*

ME: Hey Gradma Grandpa welcome.

Grandpa: Here's my phone fix my storage and install FB Messenger for me

AT LEAST FOR GOD SAKE SAY HI TO ME. IM YOUR NEPHEW FOR GOD SAKE NOT SOME RANDOM HUMAN BEING.

Einstein :" Insanity: doing the same thing over and over
again and expecting different results.

Me: O yeah? Try nondeterministic algorithms

"We are expecting you to start working asap..and complete the frontend (of a webapp that's​ expected to take 2 months to develop) in 2 weeks "

" So do I expect to get paid X amount for this ?"

" Let's make that X/2"

Fuck off you dipshits.. You expect quality work and fast work ..then get ready to pay at least by market standards.

Bought a raspberry pi and I was expecting to make a robot....
I finally can Light up a led using php...

guys my mom is a PM help

shes been telling me what to do on my personal projects for the last to days like:

Mom: "Make it so when I click it, it becomes brighter and displays all the info"

Me: "I mean I could yeah"

Mom: "No you have to do it, I don't like it otherwise"

Me: "I understand, but this is kinda my thing-"

Mom: " k yeah and get it done in 2 days"

Me: "...yes, master"

(On a real note, she actually is a PM... what was I expecting...)

Visual Studio Code. I went in expecting to hate it, but gave it a chance due to good reviews. Been hooked for months now.

Surprised to see Microsoft create such a slick Dev tool.

WWDC was last night. Joined my companies "iOS" slack channel this morning expecting to see lots of activity about SwiftUI, Combine, Federated Login, New iPad updates ... but no. The only comment

"Does anyone else feel like the event artwork is lazy and uninspired?"

... I am just fundamentally in the wrong company

I cleared data from app to restore notifications on my phone... forgot how much the white background hurts.

Was not expecting that

I saw an article about the best open source text editors today. I was expecting to see atom, vs code etc. Well no, the author says "sublime text. It's not exactly open source or even freeware software, but there are lots of open source plugins for it."

Well why in world would you title the article best open source editors?? Why not call it what it is: "my lovefest for sublime text and some plugins." You could post it on your stupid blog with 1 reader per month where I would never find it and waste my time on it.

My career is going well. I was really prepared for a small inconsequential raise. But my manager literally doubled what I was expecting (was expecting just inflation match). Awesome 😆 now time to rapidly build a real proper emergency fund and my savings faster than ever

Just started my new job.

Poorly defined requirements ✅
Expecting things to be done yesterday ✅
Poorly managed teams ✅
Terrible legacy code ✅
Half the development team is offshore ✅

Maybe I’m just selfish, but I need to work in an environment that has the following

A good technology stack.
A competent manager/team leader.
Competent colleagues.
Clearly defined documentation.
A proper onboarding process.

Why is this so difficult to find in organisations?

One of my teammates was pulled to help on another small project... He started to get overwhelmed with being on two projects at once, so I volunteered to help with this project as well. Expecting to just help with his load, he is being transitioned off this project and I'm taking his load...

Lesson: Do not help others.

Just found out there is a "Hooker City" in Oklahoma.
How you ask?

Was testing for this weather app and expecting it to return "Location not found" but it returned the weather when entering "Hooker".

Google Chrome has adopted material design. Expecting a change request from the client to change it back to how it looked before.

My dad just got his abdominal surgery done. The surgeon was shocked how bad it became. He wasn't expecting it to be this bad. From an expected 1.5h surgery it prolonged to 4.5h... Thank God it went well and my dad is awake now from anesthesia. Now he has to rest in hospital for a few days. I was stressing so much about this. Thank you God🙏🙏🙏🙏☦️☦️☦️❤️❤️❤️❤️

MOTHERFUCKING SHIT FOR BRAIN RETARDS POSTING UTTER DUMB QUESTIONS ON STACKOVERFLOW EXPECTING YOU TO JUST GIVE THEM THE ANSWER AND FUCK OFF.
I'M SICK AND TIRED OF THOSE MORONS THAT DO NOT EVEN HAVE THE DECENCY TO SAY THANK YOU, LET ALONE ACCEPT YOUR ANSWER WHICH THEY JUST COPY/PASTE IN THEIR SHITTY FUCKING CODEBASE FULL OP STRING CONCATENATION BULLCRAP. CRAWL BACK TO THE SHADOWS FROM WHENCE YOU CAME YOU DUMBASS SLACKER SOFTWARE-NOOBS. YOU HAVE NO PLACE AMONG CARING DEVELOPERS!!!

Going to system engineer interview expecting technical questions. Very nervous.

First 'technical' question "what does DDoS stand for?"
Second "what does LTE mean?"

😐😐😐🙄🙄😏🤣😄😅😃 Gonna nail this interview.

The assignment needed me to implement a class that behaves like a vector<int>. I tried the obvious hack not expecting it to work, but surprisingly it did.

Today was epic.
I made the first formal demo of the mobile application I have been working on for the past three months, and the whole team of the start-up I work at were all psyched about it. I got compliments from everybody.
Since I am the only tech oriented employee, what I do is pretty obscure to the rest of the company and I was not expecting such reactions and it was awesome. I'm proud of what I achieved, and the undivided validation made me feel like I own the world, even if I have still much learning to do.

Going to bed without being able to resolve a bug. Expecting zero sleep...

Have been coding all day and now writing the docs. I keep pressing ctrl+space and tab and expecting auto complete to work. So annoying

The company wants me to attend a meeting while expecting to finish coding. So i just code in a meeting pretending i was taking down notes.

I'm expecting probably no, but in the name of outdoorsy things not at all related to code, anyone else here enjoy electric bicycles?

Just grabbed this thing and it's absurdly fun, and helps me put some social distance between myself and other riders.

Been using Atom for the longest while and recently switched to VS Code. I was not expecting to say this but I actually love it.

Dear cursee,

It's Monday. It's already the middle of first month of 2019. There are clients expecting and waiting to see the finished projects. There are tasks with warning and delayed labeled on your boards. You have slept well. Ate well. Drank well. Only remaining thing left is to work and finish your tasks well.

You can do it. And you must.

Cheers,
cursee

Black Friday fail.

Local online store totally failed last year on BF, so they spent the whole week on news, radio, print ads, newsletter raving about how they upgraded the systems for BF and are expecting double the traffic of last year and are super ready. 60 seconds into BF, site went totally tits up, was not till 01:45 that anyone could access it again, and according to uptimerobot, they were tits up for about 55% of the day.

When you're asked to extend a functionality on a piece of code and the 2.5k lines in the view are a juicy mix of PHP, HTML, CSS, JavaScript and the functionality relying on jQuery trasversing through the document tree and expecting things to be in their place. Oh did I mention html build with strings in JS? I'm going to love this day! WHY, JUST WHY?! *gasp*

At my first big boy job at a start up with only 50 users, we noticed we had cloud cost spikes about 20x larger than we were expecting. I remember spending all night debugging it, checking the requests as they go through.

The culprit? Someone left an async on a UseEffect with a variable that was regularly updated as a parameter.

In other words: every time a request was fired, the variable would change… so the function would sense the variable changed and fire it again, and so on.

Felt like a total hero.

There are 2 node js apps floating around the city...built by me for intranet apps used in a logistics company.

I legit asked a friend if it has been replaced and he said no, that they keep on running like a fucking beast causing no issues whatsoever.

Fascinating. I was legit expecting it to crash a while ago.

Guess mern stacks do scale if you know what you is doing.

Write your unit tests people.

Me: junior dev

Assignment: build a REST search service that also does (thing x)

Me: gosh I just can't figure out how to make (thing x) work! Nothing I try works and there are no online resources!

*goes to meeting with client*

Client: (thing x) is impossible in our application, so we are expecting (much more manageable thing)

Me: awesome! I think I can build that

Manager who can't code: what are you talking about, (thing x) is clearly better and it should be possible to do

Manager: *sends email outlining shifted requirements after the meeting, including (thing x)*

A beautiful sky blue!

I'm half expecting a plane to crash into it.

<cheesy>
When I stumbled upon this app in the Play Store last week, I was not expecting such a good heartwarming community of intelligent individuals. I have a great time here. Thank you @dfox and @trogus for making such an awesome platform!
</cheesy>

Intern: "Hey Awlex, this function I'm using doesn't work. Can you help me?"
Me: "This function doesn't do what you are expecting. Did you even look at the docs for this function?"
Intern: "No."
Me: "... then start with that"

Getting tired of certain co-workers under-delivering. They commit an entire release to one feature and my team plans our release expecting we'll be able to use his changes by the end and then on the last day of development he decides more testing is needed and it won't be finished until next release. Come on, man!

Expecting your client to be nice with you just because you are nice to them is like expecting lion not to eat you, because you don't eat lions.

So... People até talking about windows update crash??
Omg....
It crashed on me after updating... I was late to bed so just pressed the doom button (power off)... Because I was coming on vacation next morning...
Still thinking about what's expecting me after I return

I'm the only one who up votes most of the rants and expecting in return up votes on my own rants too?

I get a call where someone wants to start a startup, says since it's his idea he gets 50% and he will wait for me to finish the whole thing on my own expecting me to work for free 🙂

What do you think about the new UI of Stack Overflow?
I personally was expecting something better...

Been wearing sunglasses to the office for a few months now because I'm sick of bright screens, light themes of co-workers, the daylight outside that shines through the windows (I moved to another desk further away from the windows), the ceiling lights that are always on (even when there's daylight from outside, thanks boss) and people expecting me to have my eyes open in meetings when there's nothing to look at so now I can just close them and switch to "standby" while I'm still listening.

I am a devampire.

Wrote some code today expecting it to take me 2 hours to complete, took me 5 mins. huh?

Ahahaha

More of a suprise.

Just by error double clicked on WINDOWS machine on a BASH (.sh) script.

Welp, some randon bash processor appered and script was executed correctlly.

I almost shit my pants, it's a script which changes production env.

I was expecting a notepad lol

Ok... What this is expecting from me to respond?? 💩💩💩

The final verdict is out. After almost 3.5 years im getting fired. Im relieved because i’ve been expecting this already since december. No matter how hard i try my mistakes aren’t excepted anymore.
Good thing there are three other companies i have interviews with.
Let’s hope for a new offer and smooth transition soon!

Fuck Cypress. It’s a fucking goddamn pile of diseased garbage. Its design decisions actively fight against you, its methods don’t work, it’s unreliable as fuck, and it intentionally keeps stale state so your tests fuck with one another — and that even fucks up its own interface so nothing fucking works.

It’s like stepping into the shower and expecting clean water, but instead it’s just some obese guy with diarrhea shitting in your hair, and then getting all indignant that you’re upset about it.

If you consider using Cypress for something, find another project.

Expecting me to do my tasks on weekends. Like, seriously?

Took a vacation away from my laptop. Expecting to have nothing to rant on but then a storm welcomes us. Oh God please!
Location: Coron, Palawan

Being a lead developer, I don't know if I am on the side of developers or managers.
In a product roadmap meet today, one of the developers explained the update of last week. He talked for at least 15 mins.
After that the sales lead looked at me, expecting me to explain (or basically dumb it down for her)
Me: Oh, he meant "UI improvements"
She: Oh, why didn't he say so?

I don't know who was the reason for the FacePalm 😐

unpopular opinion: javascript has broken standards, and nobody corrects it. people use these frameworks and shit with 600 dependencies, then can't figure out how to update their application when things go out of date. now people are expecting you to use NPM to make a - - > static <- - website

You know how people say insanity is doing the same thing over and over expecting a different result? Those people have never done different things and gotten the same result.

today I saw conditions in the gov office.

their fucking web app from ancient time depended on IE browser.

And
We were expecting productivity from them.
=_=

This will be long and it's more of an IT rant, but I think it still fits.

So a user comes to me and says "hey on my phone I can't see anything in my junk email folder but there are a bunch of emails in there on my PC." I take a look at the Outlook app on his phone. The "Junk" folder that he has open is actually in his deleted items folder. So clearly it's not the real junk folder. There are no other folders named "Junk", but there is one named "Spam". I open that and there are a bunch of emails in there.

ME: "Does this look like what you were expecting to see?"
USER: "Oooohhh so you think it's called "Spam" instead of "Junk" on my phone?"
ME: "I'm not sure, does this look like what you were expecting to see?"
USER: "See, I always thought junk and spam were two different things."
ME: (grinding my teeth and taking a deep breath) "Does. This. Look. Like. What. You. Were. Expecting. To. See?"
USER: "Yeah, looks like it."

OK THEN FRICKING TAKE YOUR PHONE AND GET OUT OF MY OFFICE.

I didn't really say that last bit, but I sure was tempted to.

Well... I wasn't expecting that

Why would someone hire you to build a website, constantly say that you don’t know business, never give you anything you ask for, berate you for asking questions about what they want the website to be like, “that’s your job”, all while expecting under $500? Because they’re stupid, that’s why. Oh also, they now want an app instead of a website because their generic-ass domain name was taken already. Fffffffffff

Things that only happen on Windows:

1. Windows updates itself with a security-update
2. On next reboot, upgrade procedure fails and reverts changes
3. Repeat

You cannot prevent the update, you cannot shutdown or reboot without the update and it takes around 30 minutes to install and revert every time during boot.

There is a saying; "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again but expecting different results." I therefore officially proclaim insanity of my Windows installation.

Working on a side gig - an online clothing store - just finished implementing the cart logic, need to set up both PayPal and mobile money payments plus make sure the whole UI is responsive - fucking images! This is all needed by tomorrow... I haven't slept since Monday, just getting back home from a long day at work and did I mention that the client is also expecting to see a custom blog that I haven't even begun working on...

Fuck

*Compiled successfully on the first try

Me: Expecting SEG FAULT.

*No SEG FAULT

Me: Expecting logical error.

*Runs fine

Me: Aliens hacked my mind.

After 2 years at the uni with 6 programming courses, I stopped studying and started working.

So I kinda left with some expectation or demand for some level of standard, not the highest, but at least not expecting diarrea dog shit level of quality.

On my first jobs, I was pretty shocked with their outdated technologies, terrible workflows, insanely unsafe setups and vomit inducing management. I thought "this isn't normal, this shouldn't be happening"

After being for a week on devrant, I now think the opposite is not normal.

Finally found a client who thinks TTD and unit tests are useful ways to spend development budget.
Still expecting to wake up.

WTF !!! It's been two years since I choose my life as a developer and they are expecting me to have an experience of 5 years. It's like one of those posts :) LOL

!dev
What kind of idiot sends a random stranger “hello” on Instagram! What the fuck am I supposed to do with “hello”? Can’t you lead the message with your reason for messaging me? What the fuck are expecting me to reply with exactly? Are you fucking crazy?

Everytime I boot into windows soemthing goes wrong. Driver that doesn't load properly, loss of connection on a fucking RJ45 cable, boot process that locks the desktop for about 5mns randomly... What the hell!?!??! I just don't get any of this crap on Linux. And also, how the fuck is Microsoft expecting to draw the Linux crowed to them by putting linux on top of their massive steaming pile of plague ridden shite?!? Linux works very well without that stink! F.U. Microsoft! and F.U. to your imbred, affront-to-nature, colossal putrifying piece of gelatinous diarrhetic shite of an OS!
.|.. (o_o) ..|.

Not the quagmire I was expecting

Expecting a Hug? 😍
LOL!
All we get is BUGS, a lot of Bugsss 😂
Sed Life 😭

At school I was excited when our teacher said he will teach us programming with VS.
I was expecting C# to show my skills but the he showed us a big book about Visual Basic with VS Express 2010.
I was literally dying.

Today I had to present my final year project called segmentation and detection of glioma using deep learning.

It took 15 minutes for the evaluators to understand what an mri image dataset (BRaTs) dataset looks like (they are voxels and not pixels). My god, these peasants...

And I was there expecting them to understand down sampling convolutions and up scaling convolutions of U Net model 😂. Life is so convoluted right now!

Errr, i was not expecting this when i went on SO

When you've finished a project and the site goes live, you get a message from the client "looking good". To me that implies it's not finished, and I'm expecting a follow up message "can you just..."

Developers, we ARE the definition of insanity. Doing the same things over and over again, expecting things to change.

The technician from my previous ISP was creating a mess. The cables were worn out and overall the service quality started degrading. Maybe I too had an old router.

After 10 years of loyalty, decided to switch the ISP. Similar plan, better rates. However, this one is fibre optic.

Expecting better service and less bandwidth drop. We just got the installation done and now will get the connection activated next week.

The ISP has also agreed to provide me a free 5G router, so yayayay!!

Came to Uni today expecting to learn something, but once again we have a guest lecturer from a certain large programmer farm with questionable treatment of workers trying to head hunt. We're literally just watching their ads.

I should have just stayed at home and done something useful.

After hours of debugging a legacy binary which throwed an unknown error. Realizing that it was expecting an array starting at 1.

Before I decided to learn C, I had heard tell of pointers being "hard to use". Of course I thought "maybe so, " after all, that was basically the only thing I heard about pointers, "they are hard!".

And so, when I learned C, and I got to the part about pointers, I was expecting at least some trouble (I can't know everything) and it was just... easy? Maybe the trickiest thing was how * has two different meanings based on the context (declare/dereference) but that was easy too.

Why the hell is all I hear from people about pointers is that they're difficult?

coughing so much lately that I'm expecting six packs soon

I got an email about the job opening of a "HTML Developer" in a leading telecom company in our country.

A HTML Developer? Really ? Are you expecting a html only website in this day an age? How can you be a "leading company" when you did not even know the correct term for a front end web development job post

! rant
Today has been a good day.
Woke up telling myself I should make a build for my game to see how it perform (didn't do a single one in several months). Was expecting some issues like always. But everything built on first try, on Windows and Linux (which is a fist attempt for the later).
So yea, today has been a good day 😎

This evening for curiosity i executed a nmap over my android phone expecting (like everyday) all port closed.
But i see
9080/tcp open glrpc
Wtf??
Let me check something....
--adb shell
$cat /etc/net/tcp

And the first line provied me the UID of the app that was running on 9080 port (2378 in hex)
So let me check which app is that
$dumpsys package | grep -A1 "userId=*UID*"

And the answer is com.netflix.mediaclient

Wtf??
Why netflix is running a http server on 9080/tcp on and android phone??

Imagine your manager saying to you: "I've reviewed your salary and I think we are paying you too little, so I would like us to negotiate your raise." - and then proposing a larger sum than you were expecting.

Fucking hell my ISP gave me a router and a modem (was expecting a modem that is a router, like is at my parents house with the same ISP).

The router is absolute dog shit. My connection drops every 5 minutes or so, and sometimes every minute (give or take 10 seconds). And the signal struggles in my bedroom, even though the router is about 10 feet away from me.

What the fuck piece of garbage is this?

I’m half expecting it to download and then tell me it can’t be installed 😧

IPAY88 is the worst payment integration. They parse html data and encoded it into xml for return the data, it is not even singlet or server to server communication , tey called it the ADVANCED BACKEND SYSTEM (My arse!) For security, they ENCODE THE STRING into BASE64 and called it ENCRYPTION ! WHAT THE FUCK?
Encoding is not encryption! I qas expecting they used diffie hellman or AES or RSA etc. THEY TOLD BE ENCODING IS ENCRYPTION? WHAT THE FUCK?

When I signed up for the technical college and heard that we would have media tech classes, I was expecting frontend stuff like HTML, CSS and JS, not how to make folders and change the font in notepad. Fuck.

Sorry if I'm just ignorant but: I see a lot of rants about designers expecting pixel perfect implementations of their designs. Is that for real? In my world there is hardly ever pixel values at all. It's not paper publishing. It's web, things have to scale. For an iOS app where you have a few known screen sizes - fine. But web? Come on...

And that's without even going into CSS or browser quirks.

Moving to flamenco when you have been a metal guitarist all your life is.....painful.

I know fingerstyle guitar picking, but shit is 100% not enough.

Now I was not expecting it to NOT be difficult, but certainly not: cry in your room at night considering if you have what it takes difficult.

10/10 Paco De Lucia ys way tf beyond me.

I used to like web development. But i got sick and tired of every client expecting a website in a $200 price range.

The place I'm interviewing for apparently has a "no music" policy. Is this common? Music is a huge part of programming for me. It helps me get into a rhythm and ignore all the little distractions like people tapping their feet, etc. that drive me absolutely crazy. Am I expecting too much here???

If you're expecting a call from a company to do a phone screen, make sure your phone is charged... if it dies before you can even tell me why you're looking for a new job and I still can't reach you 15 minutes later, it's very off putting.

Me: I need a subtitle for the header on my website: “Our Team”

Chatgpt: Sure, here are good subtitles for “Our Team” header on your website:
— Meet the Experts
— Our Skilled Professionals
— Talent at Your Service
…

Me: Make it a little bit lengthier:

Chatgpt: Sure, here is a more detailed subtitle option for the “Our Team” header on your website:

{{was actually expecting 2 to 3 lines but dude proceeds to write a full page long content explaining “Our Team”}}

I feel like this dude gets orgasm when it sees the word “lengthier”.

So it's been nearly 3 months and HR have yet to process my authorised promotion, or pay me any of my new salary, despite it being escalated multiple times thanks to my boss, Head of, and Director.

...Does HR live in a separate reality to our own? Am I being played for a fool? Am I expecting too much of a HR sector in a Fortune 100 company..? 🤔

I just did a weird thing... I am used to ++ with a double tap... So, I am on relay for Reddit and like the post and I double tap it expecting an up vote. What have you done to me devRant???

I like how a co-worker is expecting a Windows Container to work in Linux, and vice versa.

No, it doesn't work like that you fucking baffoon, Linux rootfses needs the Linux kernel (hence why it runs on WSL2 or Hyper-V using LCOW), and same can be said for Windows Containers.

How dumb of a human being must you assume everything should "just work" in a container?

my teacher genuinely asked the class, which one is better GUI or CLI? everyone said GUI except me, he asked why? (the reason he was expecting from me was something different) i said, "CLI differentiate us from those who just click and realise that how simple is this to operate and why are we being heavily paid?"

No offense, but if you're expecting 0 and not -80, then you know you're using floats.... Are there really devs that don't know what floating point round off is?

MSbuild makes me want to blow my brains out.

I know it's no longer used in .NET Core and all the lucky people that don't have to deal with .NET Framework can happily move on.

But here I am, a complete idiot. Expecting MSBuild to build the exact same way from the CLI as it does if I run a build in Visual Studio. Expecting the build server to consistently produce the same result as if I built my solution locally.

Demanding meaningful earnings and error messages that don't leave me completely perplexed as to what's actually going on in the compiler.

Fuck me and fuck .NET Framework. Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

It's hard to find someone to have real intellectual debates with these days, many like foolish jokes more than serious discussions about topics ranging from CS, history, physics, astronomy, technology, anything significant...

Is it just me ?

Ignorance is spreading at supersonic speeds

Or am I expecting too much

There are only 10 types of people in this world: those who were expecting a binary joke, those who were expecting a base 3 joke, those who were expecting a base 4 joke, ... , and those who were not expecting a radix or base joke.

So, I was making a sort of "pre-autumn-cleaning" on some of my accounts (changing passwords, secret answers, canceling accounts/subscriptions, etc), when I arrive to devRant and go to the settings option just to found these options...

So... Really ಠ_ಠ? "Logout" and "Delete Account" are the only settings available via web browser?

I know that I can't expect the full range of settings that are present on the mobile app, but what the hell, I was expecting a little more than that...

Two notable things happened to me today on devRant:
1. I accidentally +1'd a random rant. I feel rude to undo it.
2. I accidentally reported a random comment. I feel stupid for having done such thing.

Now I'm expecting to get a notification saying It wasn't worth reporting :/

So me and my friend started doing a video game project. To be honest I was expecting it to be nothing but pain and suffer.
But it turned out to be really fun experience for both of us (plus I’m learning Unity) 😁

a co-worker was approached a conference by a guy asking what she was doing there. I don't think he was expecting the answer "I'm speaking at this conference". I can't imagine being a woman in tech

What pisses me off most: on-site team/client team not specifying a non reproducable issue properly in an email and expecting a quick fix for it ASAP, making me run in circles.

First time working with designers so maybe someone else can share their experiences. I was expecting all the images/logos to use in the app, but I got an illustrator file containing all mockups. Are they expecting that I extract each image from the mockups? They didn't even use multiple layers...

Clients expecting quotes before explaining the full extent of the work and then getting mad when I change it after they add a billion more features.
Also, cross-browser testing 😫🔫

The problem I have with finally getting the hang of vim is that I end up expecting every place I enter text to behave the same way..

Wtf computer what do you mean mean it doesn't compile?
"Found : at char (95) expecting key word"

*Inspects code*
... Fucking vim..

Came online today expecting few raspberry pi projects. Was hoping to get few ideas.

Disappointed? Donno

i'm so in the zone that i was expecting an algorithm when i saw "canon in C" today.

"Help" messages that are only shown once are not so helphul.

Some software and websites have help pop-ups and tooltips that are only displayed on the first use and then never again. There is no option to show it again.

That is a terrible idea, because the user might want to see it again as a reminder.

Showing something to the user only once means expecting the user to memorize it all at once.

i transferred shitload of code from one class to another, stackoverflowed something and copy pasted it because i have never seen that this needs to be written like that, hit run compile, open up my logs expecting a mass crash and possibly explosion. it worked on the first try

The reason why developers should know the whole context of problem statement rather than just demanding requirements
Or
why the managers should set up the context of the problem rather than expecting magical solutions

!rant

Guys,

I'm looking for a (second) VPS provider and stumbled upon one called SSDNodes. They have a 8GB RAM offer for $120/yr. Which sounds far better than the popular choices like DigitalOcean, Vultr, etc.

But the only reviews I can find about them are from their blog or some unknown websites.

Has anyone used them or heard about them? Also, any alternative suggestions? I'm going to be using it for Docker powered personal web projects. Not expecting a lot of users.

P.M (calm) : You are not taking ownership of your works as others. You are only just doing it .

Me (concentrating face) : Inside -> I am fucking underpaid for a long and a month delay in salary. What the fuck are you expecting . You are saying this when you are about to give me a rise ?

Wrote my first u it tests for c++. Considering how hard everything else is, I was sort of afraid. But turns out it’s not as bad as I was expecting.

I know its too old and a repost
but I wasn't expecting to see it in real life
I thought if was a myth
hehehehehehe

Not a prank, per se, but I type using the Dvorak layout. It's hilarious to watch people's confounded reaction as they type, expecting QWERTY output. It never gets old.

Meanwhile pinterest was throwing this error and is expecting the user to catch/handle the error! Lol

I think my laptop is living and hates me... I press shutdown (Yes the actual windows shutdown and not long-press power button) I close my Laptop, expecting it to shutdown, right? Nope... It goes to sleep mode and next time I open it up, it continues to shutdown... It's like it doesn't want to shutdown and is playing a joke on me.....

I'm so used to using IDEs that I'm expecting double tapped words to highlight other instances of the same words while browsing the web 😅

Received a Full Stack Radio t-shirt and some new stickers this week, from the creator of Tailwind CSS. The shirt was printed in the wrong size; though I'm already happily expecting one in the right size, such things happen, and they fixed it before I even received this package (USA2BEL, 2 weeks in postage...)

Happy accident along with this; double the amount of stickers!! :D (and of course, double the shirts!)

There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand ternary, those who don't and those who were expecting the binary joke ;)

When you quote the client for 'bee bop boo boo' but they wind up expecting 'bee boo boo bop'

So there is a mall here that idk how but has little currents pass through it's supporting rails. And every time you touch it, it gives you a little shock.

I have been waiting for about 3 months now expecting a patch fix when I realized that physical production bugs have no patch fixes. More than 3/4th of the population is unaware of a whole different level of bug fixing frustration. Damn

Hey.. I am new to this Community.....Expecting....A good environmental setup😄

My mom was a data analyst in the Army when I was a kid. At around 10 I remember her teaching me batch scripting. Just seeing code and working with the machine was amazing to me and since then I've tried to learn all I could.

I spent a long time not doing this kind of work and finally in the last few years decided to follow that passion. So for me 20 years of my own private passion has turned into a skilled and profitable career I wasn't expecting.

I'm still in school and everyone in my class knows that I'm some sort of a computer/tech guy. And whenever the teacher has some problem with any of their devices everyone turns to look at me expecting that I would know the solution. Even when it's like when the device is not connected to the school wi-fi. Like how am I meant to know your wi-fi password. (And sorry for any misspellings. English is not my first language)

expecting a baby soon.

When co-developers talk to non techies with tech talk expecting them to understand. Like, where's that going to get you? An essential skill for a developer is to be able to translate tech talk to help people understand fully!!

mom: son you received a package
me: wow 😍 (expecting stressball)
mom: oh nice, it is great
me: wow (so fast international delivery)
mom: it an invitation to a state level event organised by state government
me: yeah, mom i applied for it.
stress over stressball

Question for you all:

You're expecting an important call from a potential employer sometime today (no specific time, just business hours)

When you get the call, you're on the toilet, absolutely ripping ass. Do you let it go to voicemail and call them back later? Answer the phone and take the whole call on the toilet? Take the call and discreetly try and finish your business? Take the call and explain that you need to call them back in about five minutes? Is there a right answer?

Today I got paid 75 bucks for the last four weeks of full-time work at an internship but was expecting 1500. Turns out 1500 was an yearly stipend. Haven't been learning much coding in the past 5 weeks so I'm thinking of not turning up from now on. I architected the whole application and was in the middle of leading a team to build the front-end. These skills will be handy later down the track but won't help me get a job...

xkcd-diction: Expecting behind every image a funny alt-text...

!rant

Hey guys I've been on this place for a little while now and finally decided to make an account. I just want to say that is the best community I've come across so far and I'm expecting it to stay that way

Adrian is expecting new hired programmers to consume their 2+ years shit in a week. wth!

Anybody know any good .net web devs in Sydney? I'm sick of reading seek and LinkedIn resumes where 95% of the applicants have a phone number starting with +91 and are skilled in "user testing and SAP".

I mean, what are they expecting? "Absolutely sir, we will mail you a first class plane ticket right now for your interview! Oh .net was just a suggestion, you can code in COBOL if you prefer. And don't worry about that pesky working Visa, we can pay cash!"

Arghhh. Fucking hate when clients can’t be bothered to write an email but instead ring you up and spout off a load of important information regarding a project you worked on last week. When you are deep in another project, and expecting me to give answers. JUST FUCK OFF YOU BASTARD! This twat does it all the time.

Closed unexpectedly? I pressed ctrl-q, so I was expecting it to quit, why weren't you?

Sick af
Eyes burning
App crashes right before demo
I did a 16 hour while sick exactly to make sure this wouldn't happen.

I'm at my absolute limit for anyone expecting anything from me. Also my phone is broken

So there seems to be a lot of discussion lately about the closing of background apps on Android. Now, I expect a decent amount of disapproval from this, but I happen to be one of those people BECAUSE I've experienced that it drains my battery more to have them running.

Since I genuinely trust y'all quite a lot compared to how much one should trust the internet in general, I'd like some more proper and reliable info (or as reliable as it can get) on this. If I'm indeed wrong I want you to convince me.

Einstein: Insanity is doing the same thing again and again and expecting different results.

Me [After my code fails to compile]: Let me change nothing and run it again.

It works. My code fucking works. It shouldn't. I got tons of errors, I changed to some obscure shit, expecting it to fail, but it fucking works. I should be happy, but I'm mad for not understanding how.

Does any developer here does design work as well as code. I got pulled into it. was expecting a only dev job, according to the job description" but the creative team start handing me InDesign task and Photoshop task with no experience in design. is that crazy or normal for front end developers?

Just did my interview with Turing & OMG!

2 questions, total of 30 mins to answer both questions, and there's a dude with access to your screen, camera & microphone watching your every move.

Went horribly. Utter failure. Not expecting to hear back from them.

Questions weren't related to the skills I said I had. They were general questions that could be answered in any language. I honestly wasn't ready to write code to split an array of numbers into 3 equal parts whose values when added would equal.

FML. Fuck this shit. I'm tired of all the bullshit (mine included)!

Starting to learn Haskell/type theory. I have put it off long enough and I hope this time I can get past the 5 minute intro/overview.

So far the only functional programming I have done is trying to write/use functions that take state in parameters only and limiting side effects (that I know of).
Expecting to have my mind blown and to get a monocle too.

My first job, I was expecting to be part of Android team but assigned to php team, a little disappointed but I guess as a developer its not something new 😛.
Excited first day first job

I got their financial support to pursue higher education in CS and move abroad.
However, I've never really got their constant emotional support. Each decision I was taking, I always had to prove myself, which can be tiring and unmotivating, since I'm expecting uncoditional love and support from my parents, not an interview and a selling pitch for myself every time I tell them something

grandparents: "why can't you fix our tv? I thought you did this kind of tech stuff for a living!?"

me: "no, I build websites"

grandparents: "...."

me: "I make the internet on computers?"

grandparents: "ohhh...so could you fix our speakers? they have the blue tooth, which has the Internet, right?"

me: /facepalm

When you're writing a function to check whether a record exists before you create it, make you sure check *before* you create it!!

Spent ages debugging something earlier which was always returning a hit even though I wasn't expecting it but then I realised the record was being added before I ran my check, therefore always said it was found.

Sometimes I'm an idiot.

my father-in-law is asking same question from last 4 years... what do you do exactly?
my friend is expecting me to hack his GF's Gmail id from last 8 years..
And i couldn't explain to my any relative in last 16 years that software engineer don't just assemble PC.

Every day I'm expecting to get fired and instead im given new tasks all the time. Wtf

I'm sure everyone has their freelance client wtf moments, here's mine: was given literally 1 day to finish a list of pre-publish updates for a website, after waiting 2 weeks to hear back from them since sending them the website to review. Of course I pushed the deadline to a week later, I have no idea what they were expecting...

Interviewing with three companies. First one extended an offer. I'm expecting an offer from at least one, possibly both, of the others (On-site with Second was yesterday and expecting an offer tomorrow or Mon, phone tech interview (they also had a tech screen) with Three was today and I /rocked/ it, expecting an onsite invite for next week).

The problem with being a badass is that the choice paralysis is SO OVERWHELMING. All three have features that I like and how do I choose.

I think I'm being overly influenced by the weekly massage, onsite barista, free nice breakfast/lunch, and ideal location of Second (the domain is finance, they have $$$). Oh and fucking 25 vacation days and amazing 401k matching. I mean how would I say no to an offer? But what if the work is actually beyond me? But they have seriously cranked their benefits package up to 11.

First is an in house product with external clients. The domain I don't find super interesting, but it has amazing Glassdoor reviews, seems like a decent environment, and really seems like a place to progress and grow as a professional. It is also the lowest salary of the three (both others are through Hired, so I know what they are offering).

Third is a consultancy where I'd really get to keep my skills relevant. Seems mad fast paced, which is a bit intimidating, and I don't know how well I'd handle the context switching of being on multiple projects at a time.

I mean, all of this is counting my chickens before they hatch. But I have a really good feeling about my chsnces with Second, though I suppose I still have a chance to botch my onsite with Third.

Ahhhh. Dev Rant, how did you go about choosing between offers that can't be evaluated on a single axis?

I signed up for a web developer job... I am now making programs in VB.NET

This was not what I was expecting, however I am completely fine with it.

Crash course learning is fun. Just know that the first hundred programs i write will be really unoptimised.

I just fixed a bug I've been trying to fix for over 10 hours. "Email not sending in laravel notifications but sending with Mail::send". How did I fix it?

Changed "email_address" to "email" because that's what the framework was expecting.

How do I explain this to my client? 😂😂

Just installed arch on my laptop...

I've always been a Debian guy before so blimey that install was painful but I'm glad I've done it.
I then installed sddm, for some reason it seems to be an old version maybe? I was expecting the look of sddm you get in kubuntu, any ideas?

Where to start...
1) them initially expecting us to do 15+ custom websites at once while also doing the Project Management work (including all client communication) for all projects, for $33k a year....
2) Having to pull teeth to get a feeble raise
3) Rude clients

I was expecting that my insomnia would be less annoying since I don't have to go out anymore for anything but food shopping.

Nope. This little bitch is still very annoying.

I swear if I get a headache tomorrow while staring at computer screen during work hours, I'm gonna shoot myself. (figuratively, not really)

Today we got our first real contract for my software company. It fills me with the most confidence as I scroll this feed of people having the same issues as we do. Customers wanting more than was agreed, customers expecting us to know what they want before talking to us etc... Thank you devRant!

Inherited a codebase that implements its own word wrapping for receipt printing. Problem is it's putting an extra space at the end of each line.

I open up the implementation, expecting it to be a relatively simple fix, until I see this…

var regex = '.{1,' +width+ '}(\\s|$)' + (cut ? '|.{' +width+ '}|.+$' : '|\\S+?(\\s|$)');
return str.match(RegExp(regex, 'g')).join(linebreak);

When you make an edit to your CSS expecting to break the UI but nothing happens

Debugging a task, that's sending emails to too many customers.
Supervisor: "Never mind, just test in production, there is a dry run flag for the tasks."
Just in case I test locally...
Flags tried:
--dryrun="TRUE" => Error, failed to send mail.
--dryrun=TRUE => Error, failed to send mail.
--dryrun="true" => Not trying to send mail.

If it's THIS PICKY a little more documentation would be nice.
And by a little more I mean: more than the task base class in a giant php monstrosity without phpdocs expecting its code to be self-documenting.