Coding Teacher: "you'll need your laptops for the exam. To prevent you from cheating I'll disable the network now"

...pulls out the network cable on his machine...

"okay you can start now"
🤦🏻‍♂️

Prof: Okay guys, i need a flash drive to put a copy of your next project.

Me: *pulls out a flash drive and sho-..*

Prof: except you, I dont trust you.

Today I learned: typing "man ascii" into the terminal on Linux will print out the ascii table.
Guess I don't need to go online to find it anymore

All this stupid people working. I got a 8 Million $ Check from a south african prince. All i need to do is pay 3000$ for the paperwork. Im out you idiots.

NEED HELP

An ant has entered my monitor and running all over the screen from inside. It's super irritating.
How can I get it out?

At Google headquarters:

"Today seems to be a bright day"
*Angular 5 is out*

"Sir, I need to change something small, shall I do a pull?"
*Angular 6 is out*

"It's Pichai's birthday today!"
*Angular 7 is out*

"Wussup"
*Angular 8 is out*

i have seen a lot of people like this.

p.s. i need the devRant sticker😁😁😁 help me out.

Found this on the net... Relatable as some instructions definately need to be spelt out explicitly for certain people. 🙈

"We need you to build a feature on our website to stop people taking screenshots. I can use the print screen key and then easily print out our website design. You need to make the site design harder to copy".

This is an extract from a recent client email I received. To say I'm in shock is an understatement.

A: you need to learn how to figure out stuff yourself.

B: how do i do that

Huge developer convention with 4 speakers today.

Google Cloud,
AWS Amazon,
A government innovation team,
and Me!

I'm freaking out.
Wish me luck, I need it...

I need a site with seo and advertisement.

The page should make about 750€ per month. I will only pay after site is complete and pays out.

You will get 150€

Clicking on Logout Button.
..
.
.
Getting a message...
"your session is expired you need to log in again to perform this action"

hmm... should I log in again to perform log out :)

"We don't need to invest in security - noone is going to hack us anyway" == "We don't need a fire department in our city - fire is not going to start here anyway"

We don't need to invest in security - everything is public anyway" == "We don't need a fire department in our city - our buildings are made out of straws anyway"

-- my thoughts after seing a line in client's spec: "sensitive data is transferred via a secure tcp channel (https) and all the public data is transferred via an unencrypted tcp (http) channel"

I spend over 3 hours thinking why my code doesn't work. It turns out you need to attach the code to the game object. Who would have known...........

When you need to code but you're out with friends in a bar.

Friend: i need to do a game for my final project, can you help me out?
Me: sure, what language?
Friend: english
Me: ...

Co-worker: I need a proxy to do this task.

Me: Why do you need a proxy?

Co-worker: So all these reviews for the company I'm posting don't look sketchy.

Me: Download the TOR browser.

Co-worker: That's kinda sketchy I don't wanna do that.

So falsifying information about the company is okay, but using a browser to do it anonymously is right out.

Them: We really need you to fill out this sheet today with estimated release dates.

Me: I really need you to respond to any of the emails I’ve sent over the past week, asking questions about what these tickets mean.

"You know that feature we told you to put back in again after we told you to take it out after we had that meeting where we decided to put it back in again after we agreed to take it out after that change request was submitted to add it? We're going to need you to take it out again."

Exhibit B in an upcoming murder trial. I'm pleading justifiable homicide.

Witnessed a guy coding on Word. I need professional help to get out of the trauma.

Overheard some guy talking about robotics on the phone, turns out it was all about MS excel macros.

people need to stop abusing terms like big data, AI etc. to make them sound 'smart' 🙄

We aren't allowed to boil water BOIL WATER

"We have to get Climate Neutral until we decided for a plan the kitchen is closed"

FUCK YOU I JUST WANT TO ENJOY MY COFFEE WHICH I CAN'T DRINK IN MY OFFICE ANYMORE BECAUSE OF SAME BULLSHIT

I get it we have to become climate neutral but holy fuck this can't be part of the solution to not use the kitchen anymore....

Does anyone know if there's a Bob Ross of development?

I feel like I just need to hear someone coding or talking best practices in a chilled out relaxing way to help me through the day.

1825. Leaving work. Today sucks. My coworker is out and she normally does this weekly report. I need her. I don't like this.

I think I need 1 more monitor to even this out...

When the client says "I just need a really easy edit, shouldn't take more than a few minutes."

*in my head* "Oh really? Can you do it? No? Then don't tell me how easy it is going to be to find the one line of code I need to edit out of thousands of lines in hundreds of files."

There was once this customer, which wanted a project done. It was for around 2/3 weeks of work. The arranged cost was 500€, but when I said how long I'll need, he said:
No. I need it done in 5 days. Every day over, I deduct 50€ from the payment.
I was out of the building in less than a minute.
Fuck this type of customers.

When your out of ideas

Why does the idea of having to develop social skills somehow seem to scare the fuck out of a large portion of you?

Is being a likeable human being such a weird concept? What do you expect? To people just validate your entire existence based on how good you can sit in front of a set of monitors and push code out? Thousands of monkeys can do that shit. Thousands of systems will eventually do such things.

for whatever reason the "I am a fucking asshole that can code" trope seems to be a "real thing" amongst developers. A mfker can know waaaaaaay less than you, have the same credentials (degrees etc) and will get the job because you were too busy building an online persona governing how better you are than everyone else. How "quirky" and Sheldon Cooper like you are. You think that makes you likeable? "i don't need to be likeable" <---- yes the fuck you are, because this shit is something in which people can be trained upon.

A team, regardless of how much you agree with this, can choose a person solely based on how well he/she/whatever clicks with them. You might be the end all be all of development, but if they don't like you or feel you will not be someone worthwile to be around, will not chose you. They will go with the charismatic newbie that can learn the same shit you so dear hold on to, because they are likeable.

Sticking to a merit based "I am the best there is" asshole mentality is a thing of the fucking past, boomer mentality. For which newer generations are parting ways with, with still profitable results. workable results. Production ready results.

Yet you chose to stick to a "I might be a quirky annoying fuck, but I am the best" mentality?

This is why you were bullied. This is why you can't get any dick, this is why you can't get any pussy, this is why you sit your ass in your little dark room trying to convince yourself that being lonely is a choice, not a situation in which you put your ass in. This is why I also dislike developers online.

Most of you might be the nicest mfkers on the planet when dealing with on a face to face basis, but if you put this shit on a screen for the world to see you will be viewed upon as some dickhead.

Fuck this "code is my life" mentality, shit is but a paycheck, a craft is not a glimpse into what you are as a person, but a way in which you make a paycheck. Molding your personality, based on what you do for a living, really?

Damn man, shit is just so fucking sad. So cringeworthy even.

Whenever anyone mentions goats, I feel the need to point out the fact that they scream like humans. And then someone sent me this in response.

I need to take a break..
I've been wotking on my game non-stop for the past 8 days from 7-10am to 11pm-2am..

But there are alot of problems in my current repo, and i have ALOT of code to re-rwite..

(also i'm the only dev x.x)

Our client needs this for today, you'll need to stay late and finish it. *6h later* Clients' QA went for vacation, seems like they will roll it out next week.

Made the mistake of mentioning ISO27001 security standard near management.

- "What?? Why don't we have that certificate?! Why are you not thinking about this?"
- "We don't need it."
- "Of course we do! we must have the highest standards!! Lets hire some lawyers and security consultants to help us get certified!"

A week later:
"Ok, turns out we don't need it."

Satan give me strength...

!dev

Honestly I love the summer (hate the cold) but motherfucker, hyperhidrosis is a fucking bitch (not diagnosed but one doesn't need to be a genius to figure this one out in my case)

😥

Let's comment out this block of code so later we know we have this feature and bring it back if we need it.

Later: commented code everywhere, literally everywhere!!! Shit

Me: Hey, I need to know when the user double clicked this.

B: It's easy, just put a try catch with DoubleClickException

Me: ...

B: ...

Me: and how about right click?

B: RightClickExce...

Me: Ok. I'm out

My call team lost power. If our major clients try to call and can't, we're fucked. My boss isn't helping and I can't do shit about it without him, he just keeps saying they need to get power. The people they need for that aren't answering. How fucking difficult is it to stop jerking off long enough to help them out so we don't get fucked out of egregious amounts of money.

Recently realized that I have the habit of plucking my beard hair when I'm contemplating. Turns out I picked out so much hair that a patch is missing from one side. I really need a fidget toy...

*boss spends £30000 pounds on an outside team to do, essentially, nothing* "You developers just don't understand business, we need to get products out the door not waste time building them properly. You're wasting company resources, we're out of money and it's your fault". Cool....

I hate this trend of making a video out of every bit of information or tutorial you can find. Videos are slow, I cannot properly skip forward to the part I need and the people making these videos are hellbent on not editing out their mistakes to "be more genuine" or something fucking stupid like that.

I want some good old text-based guides. I want docs, READMEs and the like. I don't want to hear you coughing and spitting on your ultrawide monitor for 30 minutes only to find out what I need to know is in video 4 of your ongoing paid series.

Client: we need a big data implementation in AWS to be fully HA and DR.... Money is no object

*3 weeks later when the bill comes in *

Client: its too expensive we don't need this HA stuff we don't even know what it stands for anyhow so can you take it out? But the system still needs 24/7 availability....

Burn out from studying today. Drifted off into a doodling mood and ended up with a wireframe. I need a nap.

I need to let it out ...

I HATE WORDPRESS DAMN

Already feeling better 😧

client: We need a system that will monitor the items from warehouse X from a distant location

us: Okay then first, we need to setup a server for that. So, we need a downpayment for labor.

client: I'll pay you when the system is done. 100%.

us: ...

we don't shit money to handle the costs given that we're still starting out our business. Fts.

Holy fuck this new GitHub feature is amazing!!!
It's called GitHub Actions and you can easy automate your work flow using a simple graphical editor!
I need to test this out right fucking now!

Need Help!

Anyone can please come out with algorithm to win an arguments with girlfriend..

Just got made redundant 😒

Anyone need a web dev in Melbourne?
I have desirable skills such as working myself out of a job..

Most business apps end up being overcomplicated and convoluted because that’s what most businesses are:

Overcomplicated and convoluted.

Building an app to operate systems like that will always be an exercise in garbage in garbage out. Fix your process before saying wE nEeD An aPp To Do ThIs. You don’t need an app. You need a smack upside the head.

Turns out you need to have WRITE permission to READ album artwork on Android. Thanks Google for 4 hours of debugging.

My superpower:
The ability to work on huge, complex projects/features without ever getting burned out.

In lieu of that, foregoing the need to sleep!

"The hardest part in programming is installing what you need."-the guy that almost threw it's PC out of the window because he spent 2 hours installing the wrong version of opencv

900k+ deal with a huge customer.

All we need is a spreadsheet printed out

Two senior people could not figure this out for a solid hour

"hey you work with computers"

So I'm here printing spreadsheets...

PM: We don't need a spec. We'll figure it out as we go.
Me: O_O.... So what do you need the system to do?.....
PM: ( gives vague requirements)

4 weeks later I still no clue what they need.

Today I have spent 2 hours trying o figure out why my code wasn't executing at all.
It was a typo.
"assFields" instead of "addFields".
I need sleep.

Was told I need to code so it will be ie8 compatible. I guess there going to want me to get out my feather and ink and saddle up the horse to deliver info as well.

First day after 3-4 hours:
"Our bathroom were out of the office and needed a badge to get in and out of office."
Him:"Hey i need to go the bathroom can you help me?"
P: "Sure".

Never to be seen again

Working in Asian IT. N/w bandwidth sucks soul out of body faster than downloading a web page...

A man(ager) asks, why do you need Internet?

....?

After typeing this:

interface IDeviceTypeTraitPropertyPropertyDefintionMap {

I feel like I need to take my self out behind the shed, for the good of humanity...

I came to notice something funny.
In many languages, programmers will go out of their way to use to newest, most shiny features, even if there isn't any need to.
Only in C, programmers will go out of their way to avoid new features and make their code compatible even with the oldest ANSI standards.

I need a folder for unsorted unfinished programs to sort them out of sorted unfinished programs. Also, I have an "old" folder inside of "old" folder. On both computers.

So yesterday terminals for clocking in and clocking out where installed at a customer. In the evening I got a call, telling me, that only one of five terminals works. I tried to figure out the problem and finally the customer asked me, if maybe every terminal would need an individual IP adress.

!rant

Need advice on coping with my father's passing . I was already very stressed out and had really bad focus. I feel lost now , I can't even cry the tears won't come out. Why can I cry for a stupid movie and not now...

Does any other front-end developer have the fear that we'll run out of handy words or phrases for JS frameworks and have to import massively long sentences to use what we need?

Aw hell yeah!

Now I just need to figure out how to read...

fuck.
I think when you need 20 minutes to figure out that you tried to use (0) to acces array values instead of [0] in Java it is time to go to bed.

My internet went out the other day and I genuinely didn't know what to do with myself! Pacing around my apartment until it came back 2 hours later.
I think I need to get out more or at least get some friends but, you know... people.

Friday. 17:56. Time to go home.

> git add *
> git commit -m 'wip, feature almost done, need to test'
> git pu... [BIG FAT BSOD]

fuck it, I'm out

Reading the Facebook PHP SDK documentation today to make a custom feed on a site. The documentation tells you how to do absolutely everything. Which is great in theory, but means you have loads to read to find the small bit you need.

Turns out I didn't need the SDK after all. Used simple curl request instead.

So Google have come out and confirmed 100% that the Pixel 4 contains project Soli chips and the required radars for touchless gestures....

Need it, need it, need it, need it!!!

Fucking keen to start developing using it even though I'll probably never release anything .-.

I swear my ISP has already done away with net neutrality. My connection is always going out whenever I need to look something up for work.

So... after a vision test on a whim, it turned out I needed glasses.

Turns out sitting in front of a screen all day did actually mess my eyes up 😂

Luckily I only need them for using the computer for extended periods of time, so managed to run them through my company as an expense.

Nothing give more pleasure than find out the cli tool you need is already installed in your distro

Finally, I've installed everything I need in Fedora 24. It is now stable and has all the tools I need for development.

Oh, look. Elementary OS loki is out

😭🖕😭

In case you need this link again, we’ll send out the PowerPoint, which has the QR code you can scan. WTF. Can’t you just put the damn link in the PowerPoint ?

Definitely Dungeons & Dragons.
One of the oldest geeky fantasy roleplaying games and I love it.
My first teacher teacher at my bachelors got me into it. Tried it out and I've need addicted ever since.

My internship company does not believe in the concept of 'commenting'. They just tell me: "Ahh just write readable code!
Yeah that's cool until I need to read out thousands of lines of javascript without a single comment!

A lot of PM-rants (for good reason) but how about a reversed one:

Lead Dev: "Yes, but do we really need a dev and staging server? Can't we just try it out and see if it works?"

Well, not 9 days into 2018 and my client has run out of money. This year is already off to a fantastic start. Now I need to find another paying gig before bills are due. Wish me luck!

This is what pain looks like. I study and do my internship in Le Mans, near Nantes and just 5 minutes ago I found out what I've missed. Need to pay more attention to the email announcements.

Me : "I need to stop geeking out about security because I have exams and need to write a report"

Me 2 hours later : "Ooooo.. what's this cool article about?Let's check it out 😎"

What the fuck is up with interviewing these days. Now I have to invent a video game and work for free for ten hours just to find out I have no idea what the fuck video programming has to do with frontend. You kids need to figure this shit out. It’s really fucking annnoying.

Hmmm let me think ...🤔
Is there really a need to distinguish ? Are there any useful meetings out there?🤗

What do you do?

Delete the code or comment it out just in case you need it again?

Spends 5 days working from home at my desk.... Stressful week...

Spends weekend playing diablo 3 with son at same desk.... Relaxing...

Wife says I need to get out more.... *looks outside* raining...

I never understood why writing data to a database had to be such a complicated process, at least in production systems.
I shouldn't need a PhD to figure out how the db was configured.

If HR wants us (engineering) to fill out a form, you need to make it short and sweet.

The longer you make it (multiple pages, a lot of text, etc) the less people are going to fill it out / even look at it.

Need to learn JavaScript.
My question is: What good books/websites/ youtubers etc are out there that have good explanations.
Thx in advance.

UX: we need to add a close button to the filter menu.
Dev: wtf, why?
UX: the users cannot figure out how to close it.

If Batman was a full time programmer in Dark Knight, "Bugs are not complicated, Alfred. Just need to figure out why they're after" 😂

If I made £1 for every new JavaScript framework that came out, i would never need to work again.

Playing Portal 2
Not only has this game a need for understanding highly complex problems - but it also was the first game besides Minecraft I started to mod and really had something valuable come out!

Error: ID 2 is out of range (0..64)

How???

Did maths change while I was asleep?

Do I need an update?

🤯
I am beyond burnt out. I still need to finish some stuff over the freaking holidays. Sucks to be me, literally, figuratively, and really.

*Sobs in TTS robotic voice*

5 years ago , when I started coding and problem solving things , my IT teacher said "you need to be patient, to learn coding"
Nowadays I found out why you need to be patient.
To deal with stupid clients ..!!!!

me: i dont wanna get out of bed to check the code, i feel so comfy and lazy

me: *after 10 mins* dammit, need to change this, need to change that, its still fucked up, why is this wrong *codes more*

Every job interview I go through I feel more certain that I need to get out of my job asap and more doubtful that I wanna work with these companies.

Found out why Apple removed the headphone jack. Why need that if there are Bluetooth alternatives. Microphone might have a utility.

Deleting debugging/logging lines instead of commenting them out, when there is 95% chance that I will need them again

Finally moved over to Sublime Text.
Now I just need to figure out how to make it my default text editor.

When someone feels the need to use moment.js to work out if a timestamp is less than another.

When you find out you didn't need that if-else statement in your code if you simply made an additional variable with an expression that works for all cases of that if-else statement

If you need someone to help you out: Superman

Aaaarrrrgghhhhhhhhh

Out of all the days,

My laptop is lagging today, when I need to things to be done.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

PS. It's so slow, that I ended up searching a meme too.

"We need to support IE8 out of the box"

- Hi, I need this config set up on the server. What do you think? Could you do it?
- Yeah seems fine. But we need to assess it properly.
- Ok, let me show you in details.
- Err.. hmm, reach out to me tomorrow.
...
** Then he stays offline all day. **

HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO **REACH OUT** TO YOU???? VIA SMOKE SIGNALS??!! Some supernatural powers??

Oh man, I hate depending on other people to finish a fucking job.

I think I need to get out of room and do some sports. I am growing up tits. is that programming 😰

Reasons I'm glad I'm out of freelance:

I want you to rebuild my website but you need to do it here in front of me so if it breaks later, I can fix it.

I've just wasted 2 hours trying to figure out why docker-compose was bugging out on some stupid error.
Turns out that the Ubuntu package was stuck on 1.5.2.
The current release is 1.24.1.
The package has not been updated since December 2015.
I need to stab a motherfucker

It's one of those days where I just need to let it it out. I'M A FUCKING IMPOSTER.

but I'm going to keep learning anyway. 👺

gdpr: ok, so you need to opt out users cookies by default
greedy pigs: opt in, gotcha

When you point out a mistake in your fellow student's code comment and he says: "What doesn't compile, doesn't need to be corrected" -.-

Planned on installing Linux, for the first time, on a old computer today. Turns out you need a usb-stick to install it from. Minimum 2gb. - No problem, I thought, because I have a old stick in a drawer. Turns out it was on 128mb. Outdated technology. Time to go shopping.

Sometimes I try to figure out which language should I learn next! Or I really need to learn a new language?! Or just trying to be better in current ones??! ...

If it weren't for poor documentation I'd be retired by now.

We didn't all write your library. In fact, only you did. So, some helpful documentation would really help us all out. Can't believe the number of times I need to read source code to figure out what the hell you are doing.

I've never felt the need to use SourceTree, am I missing out on a lot? I use the terminal. Feel it's sufficient.

Just got a Google Home. I'm very impressed with it, there's just so many possibilities with it. I just found out I can trigger a HTTP request using my voice (!). So now I need to find out good use cases and build a server.

Ideas?

you know whats wild? they're talking of AI taking of the world

and meanwhile we still need to fill out and send copies of pdfs everywhere to get things done

🤡

To get into the zone I need 5 minutes to focus, think and lay out a plan. Need a clear schedule the next 4 hours, minimum. Clean desk, headset on, water refilled and a fresh coffee. Away we go.

10 minutes later someone taps me on my shoulder .. fuck!! Every damn time

When you've got a Node daemon with so much weird async shit going on you practically need a flux capacitor to sort out if all those promises get resolved in the order you need them to resolve.

Fucking SalesForce.. Nothing worse than spending hours figuring out what precisely you need only to find yourself on a "success" labeled rant platform where a customer rep acknowledges the problem and promises improvements....... 4 years ago

Get the fuck out of my way!!! I don't need autocomplete. I just want to type - and also see what is in the console - at the same time.

Somewhere out there, a middle manager looked at SAP's time tracking tool and thought, "This, yes, this is exactly what we need in our organisation"

Deleted 1000 lines of code that I would need at a later point. Had a mini heart attack once I found out the code was no longer there...

The worst thing about building an "accessible" app is that you might just have 4 users out of the million who need it.

Either they don't know it exists or it needs to be modified for every user!

Went to work pretty excited this morning, and found out that my neural network that has been training all weekend was still dumb as fuck...

No need to fear artificial intelligence (at least not mine)

Promise.resolve() in js. You have a string but need a promise? Just do a Promise.resolve(str) and boom! You can 'then' the shit out of your string...

Waiting to find out results of interview. Dying. I need a change so bad.

Can't stop thinking about questions I wish I would've answered better but I have skin crawling anxiety during interviews and I haven't had one in a loooong time 😭😫 fucking fuck shit fuck universe help me out.

Every month I re-evaluate the code I had written previously to compare my progress in coding standards...
Turns out I need a time machine to go back in time and slap myself

I need some help from you guys. I'm in search of a cheap, little webhoster for classic and (hopefully) node projects. Is there something viable out there, I missed on my research?

Create form functioning to facilitate client's whim because they need it yesterday. 2 days later they are still working out the wording for the confirmation page.

Check this out :
Lib-A need Lib-C version 10.0.2
Lib-B need Lib-C version 9.0.0
And and ..
Lib-D need Lib-A some old version ..
And
Some other shit...my solution .. nuke the project start over and try to use as minimum libs as possible..

I need x

“Fill out this form and wait”

Just shoot me now 😔

It's always a great feeling when a solution you made for a pet project last night turns out to be exactly what you need for issues that arose today.

Started work at a call center recently, really hoping things work out since it's full time, if you're inclined I'd appreciate some help toward that stress ball, I think I may need it soon...

when a senior and tech lead write conflicting PR comments ~1 week apart

i dont give a fuck, ill do it either way you want but you 2 need to sort out how the fuck you want it

Think I finally figured out a clean way to get the data I need out of the system. The data format has it's origins in what was practical for computers in the 1960s. TGIF - I'll enjoy believing I've solved it all the way until monday.

As a Developer, we go through all kinds of situations. There are happy moments and there are frustrations.

What I've seen is, my colleagues use booze to chill and put out their stress. I dont drink nor smoke. I feel, i need something to put out my stress. Any suggestions?

i just found out hp keyboard has a ctrl+alt+delete button!!! aaaaaahhhhh i need to get hold of that keyboard !

!rant
Feature idea:
A way to mark your email message as "doesn't need a response" so you can send a simple "ok, thanks" to the email thread without triggering everyone's Automatic Out of Office Response.

Damn. Why didn't I find out about qutebrowser earlier??! Fast, can display my websites, vim keybindings. And I don't need that fuck fucking RAM!!! Where hyped

It's 6pm here, running out of scotch. Writing a backend for telegram bot. Seems like I need to step out to get some scotch

I am really stressed out. I am an unpaid intern. I need the stress ball. Can I get 300+1's ?

Just saw someone say they subscribed to Spotify.. .and Google Play music...

Um... I shouldn't need to point out what's wrong here should I?

If you think some developers are a dumb.... you've never met support...

They need "training" to use systems they should already know...

I didn't know the system much either but just by looking at the screen and trying a few simple options, I figured it out...

I need a new word, and maybe job, what is dumber is than a monkey?

At math lessons I was like: "WTF is this shit, I don´t need that." Well I figured out that coding is not "copy&paste" from SO. :)

Need to just rant this out a bit. Funny how close stress works as a panic attack

Spent three hours trying to figure out why my game wasn't loading a player's data only to realize that I was saving to pData and trying to load PData... Need more coffee.

I just copied the exact same code from another program into mine, actually left out a loop because I didn't need it. Also took some other stuff out, nothing much, just some var = othervar that I didn't need.

The other program, from where I copied the code, works fine, is fast, I see no issue, has been in production for a while now and no complaints. Mine, WITH THE SAME CODE, doesn't move. I don't understand how this is possible.

Why does ppl think that Saturday Sunday means u need to go out and only then u can enjoy ur life...

Finally found the solution for an issue and immedietely pour the fresh cup of coffee over the desk.

Visual studio enterprise pooped out on me today. Company says I need to install professional instead...

Well there goes 5 hours of my day

How to go from manual test cases to automation is NP-Hard. Figuring out we have less time than we need is not.

When you can't do your job properly because management refuses to fork out for the expensive tools you need and gives you cheap/shitty tools instead

You know you need a new pc when android studio freezes after you app crashes when trying to print out the exception but Crashlytics is faster by sending you an email.

Coworkers at the office kitchen always act so surprised when they find out that I like coffee even though I rarely drink some. Well, I just don't need caffeine to function properly. Simple as that.

Installed i3 on my laptop. Like it so far.. I just need to get used to it, and figure out how to style it easily.. Any tips?

Pissed af at my idiot teammates for dragging down my project grades. But I believe this won't be the last time as there are more idiots out there.

I need the credits to graduate .. sigh...
: /

Need an iPhone app to automatically call girlfriend on birthday at 12am and actually carry out a conversation in your voice so you can sleep.

Guys! Have you ever been so roasted with your family conversation that you are really pissed off but there's no way out. The matter of dignity you know. But guess what... The topic going on is Python! Don't need a way out🙄😛

They ran out of features to make premium: Now do you want 1080p HD or 1080p + feature you won’t need?

Don't designers need a designRant ??

But what type of stuff designers gon rant about tho, really wanna find out!!!?

Any Xamarin devs out there? I need to pick your brain for a few minutes if you don't mind.

Upgrading ryzen cpu, but threw out the plastic bracket to mount heatsink, as my other heatsink didn't need it. Now buying a piece of plastic off amazon for $10

I am happier using a terminal than using a GUI for most things now, I can never figure out which submenu I need to open to find the thing I need!

I think the difference between a monkey and a good developer is that good devs ask why? And try to find out.

Whereas a monkey just does what he's told and learns just enough to do what they need to do, usually by being told directly rather then figuring it out themselves through trial and error.

Spot what's wrong with this command!

It took me 10 minutes scratching head to find it out. This is why we still need to use our brain when copy paste-ing code.
😕

Is it possible to track down an IP from a Skype contact? Need to find out what country they are sending from. Asking for a friend.

!rant
Guys need help. I'm currently looking for a new scientific calculator, and do you know any programmable scientific calculator out there with good docs and is open sourced? 😅

Is there a bike helmet in the world that doesn't make me look like I need 24/7 guardian assistance? Surely there must be a nicer design out there somewhere?

I need to shoot some QAs out of a cannon. Not being trained in artillery ballistics, this is a challenge. Does any kind soul have suggestions for correct charge quantities, caliber, and trajectory projections? Thanks in advance.

Got home exhausted the other day. Told my non-tech wife that I have a lot to do. She asked, if she could do anything for me I need. I said: "Well, I need a network aware LoggerComponent." She replied: "Is that something I could paint?" My facial expression let her burst out in laugher within one second.

fuck my amount of things I have to write is exponentially increasing as I fail to keep up with all the features i need fucking hell

at least I bought groceries before shops closed today. gotta go through my potatoes and make sure they're not bad and throw out all the bad ones and eat any sus ones first

fuck I haven't even began exploring how to do a TUI. I need a few days to explore it but the things I need yesterday are stressing me out so I don't know how I could calm down enough to have a nice deep dive into it and gain expertise if I'm so distracted all the time but coming up with more fucking things I need, fuck

how do i

How can someone like everyone at their workplace yet somehow hate what they do so much?

I need to get out of this fucking city. I need to leave this fucking useless pointless css with a sprinkle of php job.

I just feel do frustrated.

i knew i was born to make videogames so i went to find out how they are made and i found they are made by programming, so i knew i need to learn programming.

As always IE and Edge holding back progress. Dying to use CSS variables but can't because of these 2 wank browsers. Once this is fully supported it should wipe out the need for pre-processors (IMHO). Not that I feel the need to use pre-processors anyway.

Disconnect from everything that you're thinking of for a moment. Step away from your computer, and dump all of your thoughts out for about five minutes.
In better terms: clear your cache. Your devices need it, and you need it too. Bonus points if you give your eyes a stretch and look outside your window.

I need to pull a few rabbits out of my arse on Monday and I don't have enough executive function points to do it all 🥺

Huh. I have been starting to run out of ideas for puns. I guess I Need to update my Pungram

That was terrible ill Get something better tommorow.

Found out today we're changing front-end framework we use on our ecomm site to different one so all the work I've spent the last 2 years doing will pretty much need to be redone. FML.

I have dreams where I stare at code/tables/program output, half of the problems are real and half are made up, I wake up stressed out about not solving anything and trying to remember which is the real half I need to solve.

Why can't I dream about the video games I play? I need to get a life...

I always start with a personal need. I can't really commit to projects that I wouldn't use myself. Once I have the need, I spend days trying to Google if it exists, and if not, I go ahead. (Then sometimes I find out later that it does exist, it's just that they suck at SEO.)

so i need a utility written in C because MS-DOS but i can't figure out how MS-DOS APIs work and there's no docs available so if anyone has used Borland C i'd be grateful if you could help me out on how the hell anything works

Sometimes i would really like caches to be f*ck*d in the arse untill they refresh themselves out of self pity so i dont need to search for the f*ck*ng problem for an hour!!!

Hi devRant!
I need some help on figuring out what to major in
My options are:
-Computer networking
-Computer science/programming
-Computer system administration
-Information Technology

Started work on a language interpreter and all is going well, until I realise I still need to implement a way of reading and executing code blocks and work out if statements... Ah fuck...

If I login to some account, log out, and then log in through some other account, I still get push notifications for logged out account.

It doesn't unregister device for push notifications, you need to uninstall to get rid of it.

My advice: simply code and work out things on the fly.

You will maybe need to rewrite something, but thats ok. The more you do on the fly, the better!

Great news when the process I need to support through the night finishes early so you no longer need to work. Terrible news that I have zero chance of sleeping now as in preparation I didn't get out of bed until midday and am full of caffeine.

Sometimes I really hate offshore desktop support... yes I know Visual Studio 15 was installed, and works. But now Python tools was uninstalled in a forced update that corrupted my VS and now I can't install PTVS(not that I need VS has the vim emulator that I can install at work, it's a whole mess of weird security policies.) fucking hate windows and visual studio. Fucking listen what Im telling you the issue is. I need your dumbass to uninstall this shit software so I can do a clean install since the shitty as software management system doesn't so shit when it say's "uninstalling".

On a side note, this fuckwit just tried to explain what the screenshot tool and how to use it... it's only pinned to my taskbar and menu for shits and gigs since I don't use it everyday to tell the stupid data entry analysts I deal with to fuck off.

I NEED HELP!

Please if I find this out my boss will let me out of the basement. A thermometer that sends a electric signal when the temp is 100. (Or any specific set temp)

I haven't seen the sun in 2 hours. HELP.

Got a new job in data processing. Took them a couple days to get me a laptop and two weeks after that to get the core programs I need to begin working. Found out today that I *still* don't have access to everything I need for my job.