If Programming Languages Were Girls:

Java: Your current girlfriend, you've been going steady for a while now. Things are okay.

Kotlin: The girl Java finds you cheating on, she's just amazing, and you wish you'd met her sooner.

Visual Basic: The girl you accidentally started a relationship with because you didn't know how to say no. But quickly realised your mistake and regretted it.

JavaScript: A childhood friend you occasionally hook up with. But you could never settle for a relationship with them.

Python: A bossy, manipulative girl who quickly turned things sour. But everyone else loves her because of her huge libraries.
-----------------------------------------------------
My and a co worker were joking the other day about what programming languages would be like if they were girls. This is what we came up with (Original inspiration: the Distracted Boyfriend meme (Feel free to add your own!)).

I love listening to music and reading on the train every morning. On my way to the station, I get a text, "DUDE. ***** committed suicide."

He was a good friends of ours from high school. I remember once he got a few of us to go caving on homecoming since none of us had dates. He'd never finish a candy bar; would give half of everything away. He once drove out to California to try to start over; lasted three days and came home, but through a girl he met he was in Hawaii for a year.

He lived a lot of life, and he had a heart of gold.

I didn't get out my ebook on my phone. I didn't even put my headphones in.

I had lost another close friend from University while I was overseas. I remember being in the city art gallery when I got the news. I walked right out to the harbor, fell to my knees and cried. I always thought one day I'd be home and could shoot the shit with my old roommate. Now he was gone, and the only thing I had from him was a text from 10 days before saying, "I haven't been doing too well, but thanks for asking."

I'm back in another software engineering job, on the train to an 8-to-5, shakin it for the money. I couldn't read on the commute. I just looked out that window as the train car descended into the subway, and thought to myself, "What am I even doing anyway?"

I'm in my mid-30s; too young to be losing people like this.

I'm sorry man. I wish we had caught up sooner. I wish you weren't gone, but I know you're at peace.

Not starting sooner.

If I learned every spoken and dead language ever created in human history, I still wouldn't have enough swear words to describe how much I loathe SharePoint.

A seasoned colleague just wrote this and I think it was very valuable:

On tech debt:

So the big challenge with technical debt is making non-technical management (CEO, COO, CFO, directors) understand what it means, and just how it operates. Sometimes it actually makes good sense to incur technical debt to get to market sooner, just as it sometimes makes sense to borrow money to get cash now and repay that loan later with (hopefully) resulting greater revenues from that investment. But just like a loan, tech debt always has to be paid some day. The longer the tech debt goes, the more expensive it gets. And also like a loan, the cost compounds, like compound interest on a loan. Tech debt should always be chosen with a clear plan to pay it off at some point in the not too distant future. The longer one waits to pay it, the more expensive it gets.

!rant
!!git

Who here uses `master` for development?

My boss (api guy) tried to convince me that was normal practice. I gently told him that it sounded crazy and very very bad.

Here's the dev path I'm enforcing on my repos:

(feature branches) -> dev -> qa* -> master -> production*

*: the build server auto-pulls from these branches, and pushes any passing builds to staging/production.

Everyone works on their own feature branches, and when they're happy with their work, they merge it into `dev`. `dev`, therefore, is for feature integration testing. After everything is working well on `dev`, it gets merged into `qa` for the testers to fawn over and beat with sticks. Anything that passes QA gets merged into `master`, where it sits until we're ready to release it. When that time comes (it's usually right away, but not always), `master` gets merged into `production`.

This way, `master` is always stable and contains the newest code, so it's perfect for forking/etc. Is this standard practice, or should I be doing something different?

Also, api guy encourages something he calls "running a racetrack" -- each dev has their own branch (their initials) and they push to that throughout the day. everyone else pulls from it regularly and pushes to their own branch. When anyone's happy with their code, they push from their (updated) branch to `qa` (I insisted on `dev` instead.)

Supposedly this drastically reduces the number of merge conflicts when pushing to an upstream branch due to having a more recent ancestor node?

I don't quite follow that, but it seems to me that merging/pushing throughout the day would just make them happen sooner? idk.

What are your thoughts?

PM: Hey. I need this data right away so I can generate some reports!

/me runs some queries, creates some csv files, emails results

PM: Thanks! I'll look at this after I get back from vacation!

"I'd like to increase my storage from 9TB to 8GB."

The sooner you start coding, the longer it will take.

This was meant as a way to tell us all the slow down and plan first. If you go right into coding things before the structure is thought out you will end up with garbage code.

Me: "I'll get it done for you as soon as" possible.
Customer: "I hope it's sooner than possible."

Best way to avoid procrastinating: the sooner it gets done, the sooner I no longer have to think about doing it. When I have a bunch of shit to do, I start with the things I like the least, and save the more enjoyable things for last.

Definitely Nextcloud. Now I don't have to use proprietary software like Google drive and Dropbox anymore.

It's a shame I found out about it last week. I wish I found it sooner.

I hate it when people don't want to work for themselves and when I share something for their knowledge

"Wow what pro", "Dude you're so smart" etc in a sarcastic manner.

Dude wtf, you don't want to improve yourself then fuck off. You're there because of yourself not because I fucked it up for you.

You reap what you sow and i don't need people discrediting my effort to get to where I am today. I get it, I'm not even what you would call "pro", So what shitface?! I wanna be there someday. If you don't then just die. I don't need people like you in my life 😬😬😬

Hesitated for a while before posting this, as I don't like to whine in public but this should be therapeutical

Beware, it's a #longread

Years ago, I thought about how cool it'd be to have conversation-based interactive fiction on my phone. I remember showing early prototypes to my ex in 2012. It took me over 2 years to build up the courage to make it my priority and to take time off. FictionBurgers.com was born.

A few weeks in, a friend of mine forwarded me a link to Lifeline. I was devastated. I literally spent 2 days cursing my past self for not making a move sooner.

I soldiered on, worked 7 months straight on it. Now the tech is 90-95% finished, content is maybe 60% finished and I just... gave up. Every other week now, similar projects are popping up. I'm under-staffed and under-financed compared to them. Beyond the entertainment space, "conversation-based" is hot stuff in 2016, and I still can't seem to know what to do with what I have.

I feel like I had this fantastic opportunity and squandered it, which makes me miserable.

Anyway, just so you get some cheese with my whine, here are a few lessons I learned the hard way:

Lesson #1 : Don't go it alone. I thought I could hack it, and for over 7 months, I did. But sooner or later, shit gets to you, it's just human. That's when you need someone; just so that their highs compensate your lows and vice versa. Most of the actual writing was done by a freelancer (and he did AMAZING WORK, especially considering that I couldn't pay him much) but it's not the same as a partner, who's invested same as you.

Lesson #1.5 : Complementary skills. Just like my fiction project failed because I was missing a writer partner, my fallback plan of getting into conversational tech hit the skids for lack of a bizdev partner. It's great to stick among devs when ranting, but you need to mingle with a variety of people. Some of them are actually ok, y'know :)

Lesson #2 : Lean Startup, MVP. Google those terms if you're not familiar with them. My mistake here (after MVPing the shit out of the tech) was to let my content goal run amok : what made my app superior to the competition (or so I reasoned) was that it would allow for conversations with multiple characters! So I started plotting a story... with 9 characters. Not 2 or 3. NINE FREAKING CHARACTERS! Branching conversations with 9 characters is the stuff of nightmare -- and is the main reason I gave up.

Lesson #3 : Know your reasons. I wasted some much time early on, zig-zaging between objectives:
"I'm just indulging myself"
"No, I really want it to be a project that pays off"
"Nah, it's just a learning opportunity"
"Damn, why is it bothering me so much that someone else is doing the same thing ?"
"Doesn't matter, I just mine finished"
"What a waste of time !!"
etc etc
And it's still a problem now that I'm trying to figure out what to do!

So anyway, that's my story, thanks for readin'
Check out chatty.im/player/sugar-wars if you want to test the most advance version.

Also, I've also tagged this #startupfail, if any of you fine people want to share the lessons you've dearly paid to learn!

Hands down this year.

10 months ago I left my boring fulltime job and opened my own ltd.

I also had to relocate to another country and basically start my life from 0 (got a nice apartment, new car, new gf and got new exciting remote projects).

Now Im happy, actually never been more happier. I have full control of my life and I dont need to deal with idiots.

I left a boring workplace where no one has an opinion because everybody is trying to stay politically correct meanwhile shit doesnt get done. I also left a toxic relationship where my spoiled by parents gf was constantly nagging me and nothing I would do was ever enough for her.

So my advice is a cliche but follow your gut instinct. Somehow deep down you already know what you are worth, so all is left to do is plan and act accordingly. Take risks. Sooner or later you will get where you want. If not then thats fine, making mistakes means that you actually lived instead of existed like a mindless puppet controlled by strings of outside circumstances.

Moving up in the world (replaced my old Windows 7 machine's OS with Ubuntu so I can get familiar with Linux)

Today I used a debugger for the first time and holy fuck it's magical why didn't I do this sooner..

I'll buy an oar.

Not a boat with two of them, just an oar.

And slap every idiot who comes near to me again trying to convince me how Apple products are innovative. Every feature mentioned I had on my phone at least for 5years. And if not on my phone, Nexus or another Samsung had it already for a long time. Hell, Samsungs even started exploding sooner!

What is it with those Apple snowflakes trying to be something special? Yes you are special! You piss me of in a matter of nanoseconds.

If I'm lucky this time and my phone gets repaired correctly, I'll finally have a googleless android phone again in a little.

Google may die in a fucking corner all alone, the sooner the better.

I just discovered the dark side.

Why haven't I joined it sooner?

Dear client / customer

You have been misled. The customer is not always right. The sooner you realise this and start listening to us as the consultants you hired the better things are going to get. If you were experts in how to do this stuff you wouldn't need us. Please recognise the skills.

Best regards
The design & development community

After a month of developing for VR I Shattered a light bulb by punching it as hard as I could.

Knew it would happen.
Surprised it didn't happen sooner.

6 months ago:

Boss: We have this idea to improve our onboarding to avoid drop off in the new app. See this section here? Were going to take that out of the onboarding and just let them pass straight through to the app. Then when they get into the app, there will be a banner telling them they should go to settings and set this up. That way they can ignore it for a while and get into the app sooner

Me: Get into the app sooner to do what?

Boss: Explore it

Me: Explore an empty app with no content, as they are a brand new user with nothing setup? While theres a big banner on the screen saying "You have insecure settings" ... basically forcing them to do it straight away anyway?

Boss: Yeah, we can give them some recommendations or something while they click around. It will be good. This is months away anyway, we'll talk again

Yesterday:

Boss: So this weird unexpected thing happened. We showed some beta users our plans to remove this section from onboarding and they felt weird about it. They said they didn't like the idea of the banner telling them they haven't set it up correctly

Me: Thats not weird, I said the same thing 6 months ago

Boss: ......... oh, really?

Me: Yep. Its not an improvement to get them through onboarding quicker, just to tell them they have to now go do it somewhere else

Boss: ... right. Ok maybe we'll build it anyway and see how they feel with it in there hands?

Me: nope

Boss: ... what do you mean?

Me: We are behind, you've asked me 3 times in the last week if we are going to be able to get everything in on time ... and now you want me to build something that everyone, apart from you, says they don't like. So realistically, i'm going to build it, and then remove it next week ... and we'll have a discussion about what has to be dropped because of this

Boss: ........ right .... ok .... hhhmmm

Me: *sits with resting bitch face*

Boss: ... maybe we can hide the banner until later. Not show it to them until they've done something in the app?

Me: ... maybe we can not do any of this?

Boss: right but then the onboarding will ...

Me: *talks louder* ... yes will be the way our users want it to be

Boss: ... hhmm i'm not sure

Me: Ok heres what we'll do, so long as it doesn't delay me getting the designs I need, feel free to have the designer mock up what it would look like using that figma on device preview thing. If users say they like it, i'll build it

Boss: ... right but it won't be real on device app so ...

Me: Its that or we cut feature X

Boss: ... well we need that

Me: ok glad we agree, let me know what feedback the designer gets

Boss: ... ok

Currently written on the conference room whiteboard:

People who enjoy meetings should not be in charge of anything.

I couldn't agree more.

My parents are real sticklers for who is allowed to be on Netflix. They only let people on when they are present, and they never click 'save password'.

Me being a poor college student and desperate for the Netflix password, created a fake website for one of my parents to sign into.

How did I do this? I created my own localhost server with a backend database for the password to go to. I then copied the Netflix home screen and log in and asked them to log me into their account.

They said I can be on for one hour, and then they were signing me out.

I agreed to these terms.

As a small twist, I had also copied the no internet tab from Chrome for the page to redirect to. Knowing that once they logged in they would be expecting the main UI.

They logged in and then waited for the page to load. I, of course, put in a delay for the page to load and then displayed the no internet tab. They were confused and asked me to refresh, still nothing. I asked them if the router was out, and they went to check.

While they were away I quickly switched back to the real Netflix website and yelled back saying I got it working again. They came back over and saw that it was asking for a password again. They signed in and saw the main homepage and none were the wiser that day.

Once they left I checked inside the DB and found the plaintext password they typed in... The damn password was so simple, I cursed myself for not having figured it out sooner. No matter, I had my parents Netflix password.

So you're probably wondering how they didn't see the URL above and think something was off?

I pressed F11 and fullscreened my entire browser. They did ask, and I simply replied with, I don't like seeing all the crap up above when I'm streaming. No further questions, perhaps I was lucky.

Story time! This happened several years ago, back when I didn't have a computer and I was just using the computers at the university. They had 8 iMacs all in a row, and I would sign into one and do my work.

Now these computers have Deep Freeze on them, which is a fancy hard disk driver that treats the entire drive as copy-on-write, so when anything writes to the drive it makes a copy of the block and writes to that instead. That way all your changes are gone when you reboot. It's a real nifty idea, but it's annoying that you have to reset all your settings the way you like them.

So as part of my setup routine I signed into iCloud. This automatically synced my browser history and my email, and various other things I didn't really care about.

One of those things I didn't care about was Find My Mac. I found this out next time I signed into iCloud and saw the university computer on the list. I had never seen these computers on the list before since normally the computer reboots and forgets everything when you log out. What I think happened is the sysadmin forgot to check the "reboot on logout" option in Deep Freeze. So I was like "I wonder what would happen if I passcode locked the computer?" I clicked the passcode lock option and entered 5555, and it seemed to work.

The next day I come in and the particular computer I locked was gone. I thought "oh God what have I done". So I inquired with the sysadmin (who I really hope is not reading this) and he said "oh, someone got into the Find my Mac thing and locked it down. We were trying different codes, since if we couldn't unlock it we'd have to send it to Apple and provide proof of purchase and that could take weeks. We had tried all the obvious ones like 1234 and that wasn't working so I was about to give up, but then I tried 5555 and it rebooted! So yeah, it'll be back soon, and I decided to try installing OS X 10.11 on it because we'll all need to upgrade sooner or later eventually and it's best to have tested a bit first."

So in the end I somehow made it out with my skin still on, and also with El Capitan on one of the computers, which was the only one I used after that. Not so bad! Oh and if you've manged to read all the way through you deserve a cookie 🍪😄

So, I had a friend who hated VS Code like a fuckton alot however, most of my friends are VS Code users and he's the only one who uses atom. He say that it's greater than VS Code and code then would die sooner.

Fast forward to today, he now ranted at my Discord DM about atom ahving slow startups, extensions that doesn't work, that kind of shit, not to mention hentried to commit improperly indented code (we have nazi style enforcement in out projects regarding codestyle) and made CodeClimate ranted over it.

"That's what you get for shitting VS Code" I said. Hours later, he tried VS Code and he instantly fell in love with it.

One down, more to go

How to pass tests, sooner or later
(free code camp)

Pet peeve:

Putting screen shots in Word documents, then attaching the doc to tickets.

Mucking forons.

I really wish I had started using version control sooner. 76 contributions on my GitHub this year, 52 of them are from this month 🙈

The sooner you start to code, the longer the program will take to complete. #fact

I'm afraid to post anything connected with my job because I know that sooner or later every dev will have account on devRant

So, I need to... enable cookies to... disable cookies? Did I get that right?

(wired[.]com btw. My steadily rising adblocker-counter should have made me leave that pile of shit way sooner than I did anyway)

Soooo I think I have finally come to the point that I may have to create a YouTube channel, to teach software engineering from the ground up... and teach it the way the universities and everyone else should be teaching it, so that they have a solid foundation.... throwing hello world, and loops and variables at folks out of the box without any of the environment context or low level embedded register, even logic gate understanding

That lack of understanding is why, soooo many college students and younger folks, are actually pretty shitty engineers. Everything is high level languages and theoretical concepts to them. Nothing practical, that’s why there’s sooo many python and java developers that can’t for the life of them understand memory management, low level hardware interfacing etc, because the colleges don’t teach it the way it use to be taught.

I seriously fear 30 years from now or sooner when there are few embedded engineers only left till retirement, as without those folks the whole pyramid of electronics falls to pieces.

Java, C#, python, all that shit don’t run on the bare metal... there’s this magical layer of C, and assembler that does all the work just so folks can abstract their thoughts.

Either 1 of two situations will happen.. price of electronics will rise because the embedded guys are few and far between therefore salaries skyrocket... OR everything starts running shit like java on the metal, where there are a over abundance of developers, their salaries will be low because there are soo many but the processing power, space, and energy needed to run java natively causes electronics cost to increase

but regardless 30 years from now if those script kiddies are building everything I fear it cuz there’s gonna be memory leaks, and overflow issues everywhere.. shit be blowing up more than 4th of July.. lol

Soooo in effort to prevent that and keep the embedded engineers up, or atleast properly educate the script kiddies, I’m gonna make that YouTube channel.. 1 maybe 2 videos a week, 1-2 hours sessions each.. starting at the fucken ground and building up.

Why the fuck didn't I start to learn mongodb sooner 😶

I love it already!

Dear project managers,

Learn to use the fucking ticketing system. And by "use" I don't mean emailing IT asking them to open a ticket for you.

#GrowUpPinheads

Least favorite "enterprise" application?

SharePoint

It sucks the shit rope from the chocolate starfish.

Why JS developers go bald sooner! ?#%*

Create a folder on your desktop or use any 3rd party cloud service; when you've an idea and sooner or later realize that it's stupid. Don't just discard it, instead, put it in the ideas recycle folder. After a while, browse your ideas recycle folder. When going through all of them, I'm sure you'll come up with a new and better version of all those ideas.

Yesssssssssssssssssssssssssssss, finally!

After months of searching for a damn bug I've finally found it in a 5h session. People increasingly started to worry whether this bug has been introduced because of a recent update of the programming language, but I finally found the bug in a dependency. Nobody thought it would be the dependency, because it wasn't updated in 9 months, but it seems like the update improved the networking a tiny bit, whiche caused a buffer to load a second mesage sooner than expected.

I can finally work on my side project again!
Fucking finally!

my boss asked me to log in 1h30 after i logged off because "a user has been experiencing this bug the entire day and i should fix it because we're on maintenance tomorrow " but a) it's a known bug that we can't reproduce, he should've notified sooner the issue; b) it's not a big deal, i can fix it tomorrow, it's just not ticking a column in the database; c) I'm off work, go cry about it

Damn, I really love Vue! 🥰
It's so clean and refreshingly simple compared to the shitfuckery called AngularJS (should be renamed to AngularJK or AngularRIP btw.).

I don't understand why I haven't tried Vue sooner... much mind boggle, so regret, many thinking...

Apple's marketing department are just dictionary junkies.

Have you guys read some of the latest Apple quotes for their products? You know, the ones where you visit the page and there's some large bold text summarising the product? Here's a few:

HomePod: "The new sound of home."
If you talk over my Spotify music YOU WILL BECOME THE NEW SOUND OF MY SHED.

iPhone X: "Say hello to the future."
E.Musk put a Tesla in space. Also the future can crash with a single character.

MacOS: "Your Mac. Elevated."
If you fly away I WILL use you as birthday balloon.

iPad Pro: "Anything you can do, you can do better."
SOONER OR LATER *Comment what you would put here*

But I mean hey. It sells right.
Reading it back maybe I'm just blind hating.

It's okay to make something nobody wants.

I wasted a lot of my life being too scared to make something out of fear. This community especially can be very toxic to people that are starting out, that aren't geniuses, that didnt make every perfect decision for their product.

Life is more enjoyable in a create-fail-learn loop than a consume-criticize-gloat loop.

I wish I'd learned that sooner.

Worst part: being everyone else's Search Bitch. Seriously, how the hell do you have a job in the tech industry when you can't use a fucking search engine, whether it's Google, a builtin search facility or, hell, scrolling down the goddamn page?

A meeting about defining the
definition of done (…)
I know I mentioned it before, but it’s beyond stupid.

- Lasted 2.5 hours
- Didn’t solve shit
- Could have been solved by adding a freaking column in our Jira, but someone wanted a physical board cause let’s waste paper I guess.

Just imagine 2.5 hours of continuous suggestions and stupid reject reasons.

Fun fact: it was called by a “senior” dev which rejected every single purposal cause they also didn’t want to change the process.

Idfk why I didn’t leave the company sooner, had to get a massive burnout before realising my sanity is worth more than being paid the minimum in the office.

Hololens development forced me into Visual Studio after spending years doing Unity development with MonoDevelop in MacOS.

Why haven't anyone told me to switch sooner! Thanks to Visual Studio + ReSharper, my brain farts turn into a coherent code almost automatically.

I hate that I need MacOS for the iOS development and Win 10 for Hololens. Running Win 10 on Parallels kinda works, but it is a compromise. Developing without headphones/earplugs is out of the question if you don't want to go deaf.

I wan't all the tools for a single OS so I don't have to maintain multiple computers and even more importantly travel with multiple laptops. Just love the security check question "Do you have any electronics with you? Please put it into the container." - "Could I get a couple more containers, please..."

First, why didn't I know about this app sooner.

Second, a month into my new job as senior frontend and wonder am I good enough.

Third, I know I just need to get out of my head.

Lastly, glad to be here.

Today I first used Github. I should have done so alot sooner.

Everytime I'm digging into some random legacy code where no one knows its original intention I'm seeing "Software Archeologist" as a well-paid job sooner or later...
Fucking undocumented legacy code...

Rant about social media in general, including devRant.

I enjoy interacting with like minded people. What I do not enjoy is the whole degradation of the conversation at hand. Sooner or later, someone takes something the wrong way, addresses something this social network was not meant to address (it's devRant not Facebook), and the audience has a multitude of English as a #(rd/th/whatever) language human beings.

Accept that as the premise, and I think we could get along a lot better.

However commonly this fact is ignored. Understand the sentiment behind statements, not the statement itself. If any part of it is unclear, then request clarification.

Agree, disagree, civil debates one thing, but degrading the conversation to name calling or similar emotions only results in poor communication, useless emotions running high, and nothing gained.

</rant>

Dear client,

Every email you send me slows me down.

So that piece of work you keep bugging me about that you want done sooner and then adding other problems on top and then asking about it everyday even though we have already discussed this, it's going to be delayed,... due to your incessant emailing!

And just because you have been busy all year and finally slowing down doesn't mean I'm slowing down!

Come on holidays to no reception or internet service!

My mother is a manipulative bitch.

From my childhood, I remember nothing but fear and guilt. When I was 13, she shamed me for my body looking ugly and too feminine. She shamed me for having better vision than her, and that I don’t need to wear glasses.

I had a broken toe once, and she shamed me into admitting it wasn’t in fact broken. After two weeks of pain, she finally got me to the doctor, and x-ray had shown it was in fact broken.

She always made me carry her heavy luggage with her crap to the airport, and once I got hernia. The surgery was needed. After the surgery, they didn’t care, didn’t give me the time to recover, and made me carry her crap again. The second surgery was needed. It was more complex than the first one. Now my body is ruined by those disgusting scars. I hate my body now. It is ruined.

She tried to knock down the door into my room when I was crying and didn’t want to talk.

She screamed at me when I wanted to donate some of my old clothes to charity, the ones I bought with my own money. She is so obsessed with her crap. She hoards it, and she was hoarding it into _my_ room, not hers.

My father is still unknown. She abandoned me as a kid for my grandparents to grow me. I barely saw her till the age of six. Then I grew up with her and my stepdad, and their relationship was all manipulation and guilt. She made him apologize and beg almost every day over the course of thirteen years. They were fighting about their miserable sexual life, lack of her orgasms while I was still a kid. She just didn’t care. Once they decided to talk about their pissing kink right next to me when I was (not in fact) asleep.

When I was raped, she did nothing. She just kept on calling me beautiful and insisting she wanted me to wear mascara, while hating gay people. It was all before I realized my gender identity.

She also didn’t notice I was autistic. She liked it, as it gave her advantage. It’s easy to manipulate an autistic teenager.

After my coming-out, she told me she had cancer, and she wanted to stop treatment in order to “die sooner and not see me”.

But once my bipolar disorder awakened, things changed. Bipolar is my shield. I can be manipulated, yes, but bipolar will obliterate my whole world view once a year, together with your manipulative crap you planted into my life. And because it dismantled a 19-year-long, almost fractal manipulative masterpiece, I fear nothing now.

I disowned her some two years ago.

Holy shit. I just watched a video on Rust and I think I am in love.

Tracked mutability, reference counting, guaranteed thread safety, all in a compiled type-safe language with the performance of C++? 😍

Why did I not check this out sooner??

Ffs people get the fuck out off that Gitlab. I've been there sooner than you, now can't event load login form.

Dear Project Managers,

If you schedule a status update meeting for the end of the week, it is NOT okay for you to stop by my desk every day and ask if the project is on track. You will get your update during the update meeting you scheduled.

KthanxBye

So... did I mention I sometimes hate banks?

But I'll start at the beginning.

In the beginning, the big bang created the universe and evolution created humans, penguins, polar bea... oh well, fuck it, a couple million years fast forward...

Your trusted, local flightless bird walks into a bank to open an account. This, on its own, was a mistake, but opening an online bank account as a minor (which I was before I turned 18, because that was how things worked) was not that easy at the time.

So, yours truly of course signs a contract, binding me to follow the BSI Grundschutz (A basic security standard in Germany, it's not a law, but part of some contracts. It contains basic security advice like "don't run unknown software, install antivirus/firewall, use strong passwords", so it's just a basic prototype for a security policy).

The copy provided with my contract states a minimum password length of 8 (somewhat reasonable if you don't limit yourself to alphanumeric, include the entire UTF 8 standard and so on).

The bank's online banking password length is limited to 5 characters. So... fuck the contract, huh?

Calling support, they claimed that it is a "technical neccessity" (I never state my job when calling a support line. The more skilled people on the other hand notice it sooner or later, the others - why bother telling them) and that it is "stored encrypted". Why they use a nonstandard way of storing and encrypting it and making it that easy to brute-force it... no idea.

However, after three login attempts, the account is blocked, so a brute force attack turns into a DOS attack.

And since the only way to unblock it is to physically appear in a branch, you just would need to hit a couple thousand accounts in a neighbourhood (not a lot if you use bots and know a thing or two about the syntax of IBAN numbers) and fill up all the branches with lots of potential hostages for your planned heist or terrorist attack. Quite useful.

So, after getting nowhere with the support - After suggesting to change my username to something cryptic and insisting that their homegrown, 2FA would prevent attacks. Unless someone would login (which worked without 2FA because the 2FA only is used when moving money), report the card missing, request a new one to a different address and log in with that. Which, you know, is quite likely to happen and be blamed on the customer.

So... I went to cancel my account there - seeing as I could not fulfill my contract as a customer. I've signed to use a minimum password length of 8. I can only use a password length of 5.

Contract void. Sometimes, I love dealing with idiots.

And these people are in charge of billions of money, stock and assets. I think I'll move to... idk, Antarctica?

I know I was one at some point, but juniors can be so frustrating at times.

After some pairing for a while they're quick to adopt the "Dev" mindset and think as far as they need to...

... but with this latest batch... that day couldn't come sooner 🫠

Having to explain how exceptions work again is the last thing you wanna do under tight time constraints 🙃

Bash and git. That's all everyone needs. Sooner they realize, the better it is. 🤓

A ticket got escalated through 3 levels of techs. I open the escalation email, then do a Reply-all and ask one simple question:

Is the client really asking why there are gaps in monitoring when their servers are shutdown?

Client: We need to deploy some Windows 2003 servers.

Us: Sure thing, Mr. Client. Your money is more important than the security and stability of our systems.

What we should have said: Sure, but you need to stop in our office, put your dick in a vice and we'll take turns cranking that bitch closed until you agree to use something more modern.

“PHP is evil” is not just a joke.

PHP is usually percieved as a language which is not so consistent and has some opinionated historical aspects but allows rapid development because it’s easy. They say PHP doesn’t focus on that “purist shit” such as concepts and “just gets things done”.

Hovewer, this is not true. PHP lures you in and lies to you promising saving time on development, but everything, and I mean EVERYTHING written in PHP is doomed to turn into a bloody mess sooner or later.

You have to be an AI to manage the growing PHP codebase and add features without breaking anything. With every feature it gets harder and harder. If you’re still a human managing a human team, you have to enforce guidelines. Automatic error preventon measures are made of code themselves so the cost of deploying them ona late stage can be ridiculous. And you never deploy them on early stage because you want to “save time”. Your people have to spend more and more time everyday checking on that guidelines. Your development process only becomes slower and slower. If you try to push things, your project will crumble to dust.

To make PHP at least decent, you have to figure out all this by yourself on an early stage. When you’re done, you spent a lot of time creating the buggy, ad-hoc, unspecified and unsupported alternative of what works out of the box in other languages. And you still code in PHP and still have all its disadvantages in your project’s DNA.

PHP is evil because it promises and never delivers. PHP is evil because it lies to you and it already fucked over so many of us.

If you want to code in PHP, do it under your pillow. Code your own silly projects.

If your project has the word “production” somewhere in its plans, PHP is not the way to go.

Amen.

Vue is pretty nice to use so far. Easier than I thought it would be.
Library wise, Vuetify is satisfying. Damn this looks pretty. Why did I not find this sooner?

I recently got into an interview where the interviewer made a huge mistake:

R: “what’s your resignation period?”
Me: “well, long story short I’m working on a contract so it’s actually short, just 1 month”
R: “mhhh could you make it 2 weeks somehow? We may really need to start sooner”

This is a sentence you shouldn’t say as a recruiter as now I know:
- You are desperate to find someone
- You have a time urgency
- You failed to find someone before
- You basically confirmed you want me in

So, my last post was about dual booting to Linux. I haven't had problems with Windows. However, after an apart partial update to the Creaters version, I can't open anything without an error that says "ceip.exe was unable to start correctly (0xc0000142)." I can't even run command prompt.

I have nothing on my PC that I can't replace (everything is backed up in at least two places) other than the programs I need for work. I can get them on Monday. But I'm on call the rest of today and tomorrow. And i need them because they help me test system health.

Trying to run the update again to see if I can repair it that way, otherwise, any suggestions for a temporary fix? Thinking my switch to Linux is sooner than I thought, but I have to be able to work.

Ever since I installed Winblows 10 Anniversary edition, my laptop is slower to boot and bluescreens once a week.

Windows: if your system is fast and reliable, don't worry, we'll fix that for you.

I swear I almost had a nervous breakdown today.

Advisor at college has told me I won't be graduating until Feb 2019, I'll be 29 with a degree in IT and my minor in software engineering. I feel like I'm just playing catch up to the younger crowd who got there sooner.

On top of that all the entry level programming jobs I applied to have rejected me on the basis of not having my degree yet. They're impressed with my work but they want me out of school. I have to wait it out until I'm closer to graduating.

On good days when I code Java web applets love what I do and I wouldn't have it different, but on days like today I feel like shit and wonder if my degree was worth it, especially when I factor in that my degree only went up to pre-calc on the math end. (I'm thinking of majoring in a masters in CS as a way to makeup, maybe)

I'm frustrated and I feel the same kind of loneliness when I graduated HS. I know there's a light at the end but some days it's just hell.

I'm sure a lot of you have gone through this. Any ideas to destress?

Junior engineer asking managers on Slack about prioritisation..

Junior eng: Hey managers, I have these tasks A & B lined up and some other type of work... Is it ok if I finish A by Weds and B by the end of week or should it be done sooner? Also, is the order fine or should I prio B first?

*silence for hours*

Random dev feeling bad for junior getting no response chips in: Hey, you are doing great, that order makes sense to me and let me know if you need any guidance or have questions!

Junior dev: Thaanks and will do!

*another hour goes by*

Manager: Hi team. I have asked other engineer X to do task B tomorrow.

what the fuck. at least answer the fucking question and say it needs to be done sooner. felt bad for poor junior here. :/

Easter Eggs: the developer's gift to loyal fans.

I no longer give a single flying fuck about whether this company I work for lives or dies, whether it succeeds or fails. My compensation has been piss poor compared to the level of dedication I have put in and the level of stress I've endured. Up until now, I was thinking like "well, it's a growing startup, maybe if it succeeds it can have some doors open for me". But fuck it.

I keep hearing about software developers doing pretty well for themselves, but I can barely pay my fucking bills with this shit company in this shit country.

I should've started doing this sooner, and I'm a stupid-ass motherfucker for not having been doing it, but I'll be looking for jobs with actual respectable pay now. I'm not bound by a notice time in my contract, so maybe I'll be telling whatever other companies that I can start with them immediately if they need me to.

Seriously fuck this company and its low-ass compensation. If I'm going to be paid this low, I might as well take a less stressful job with less skill requirements.

I will be jumping ship and I won't be caring one bit if it fucking sinks.

In knew it was bad at the time, but holy shit have I realised how shitty my last job was!

Underpaid (though still not doing too badly), underappreciated, and no promotion or raise despite promises of one for over a year. Of course the minute I handed in my notice, they immediately offered me a 15k raise and "oh, we can get you involved in the management side in 6 months".

Guess what bitches, my new job * is * being a manager, and I get a 20k pay rise. 2 weeks in and I'm loving it, wish I'd switched sooner!

The catch is, I'm now a manager. Does this make me the future bad guy?

Just heard the phrase "We're going to offer standardised custom offerings."

From 1978 comes the original, go to C programming language book. About 200 pages, packed full of the details of the C language. It’s a book that sits on your desk. No matter how many times I’ve read this book I always find something new in it.

Great book written.

Only recently purchased the physical books edition 1 and 2.. in the past I only ever read it on pdf or someone else’s hardcopy.

Being a embedded engineer, shame on me for not having this book at a desk ornament sooner lol.

Recently i had a small talk with someone working in the banking sector . When that person acknowledged what i do for a living , she started to be a little bit passive-agressive .
Her:"You know someday , sooner than later , a guy like you is going to create something like artificial intelligence to replace all the devs in the world . Ha ha ha ! And your golden age is going to end . "
Me:"So you think this guy is going to create a smart program , software or platform , that will create software from what ? "
Her:" We will write the specs directly in the program and we will get the software after !"
Me:"And what if the specs are impossible, from logical point of view. "
Her:" Well there will be some rules and you will need to respect them !"
Me: "And people need to learn the logic of these rules?"
Her: " Yes a little bit of training!"
Me:" We already have that !"
Her: " We have ?! "
Me: " Is called .... CODING !"
Her: **silence **
(I remembered the burn from a comic -- forgot the name-- but GOD it felt good !)
Why some people hate us ?

FUCK OPENSSL. I LOVE IT AND HATE IT SO FUCKING MUCH. WORK FASTER AND BE LESS CONFUSING SO I CAN BRAG ABOUT MY PRETTY ENCRYPTION CODE SOONER. FUCK

probably most of my life, not just career.

realizing sooner that nobody gives a fuck and nobody will ever help.
realizing sooner that i can make and sell stuff. realizing sooner that the fact that what i sell is shit is completely disconnected from the success of my sales.
realizing aooner than most people are morons.
getting okay with exploiting morons' moronism sooner.

realizing that nobody has morals so unless i drop mine i'm just holding myself back.

stuff like that.

Never had full time mentors, just some great examples from great people:

Some years ago, I was new on the job. They sent me to see a colleague for the "transfer of knowledge" as he was leaving and I had to take over his projects.

He greeted me with a big smile and said:
"Oh, look, I just spilled very accidentally a cup of coffee on my pc so I've lost all information. Only thing I remember is that you have a call with this project today at 14 o'clock. I'll be gone by then but don't worry, just say we are late with delivery and it will be fine. I hope you all the best with your new job!"

I'll always remember him. I learned the value of improvisation, the utility of a cup of coffee and how to take things easy.

I always dream of doing what I learned from him sooner or later.

me: Hey. This looks like a cool component that will save me lots of time and effort in the project I'm kicking off next week.

/* Two months later */

me: WTF was the name of that component that did that thing?

======================

I really should write things down more often.

Network, talk to people, and get yourself on the spot, document everything and make sure that you take action when others do not.

Kissing ass can take you far, but I ain't about that life, because sooner or later the fucker that promoted you because he liked his pp getting suckd by you will leave or get put in the spot. Or change alleagiances.

Your best bet is to be ANYTHING OTHER THAN A FUCKING NECKBEARD WITH AUTISM and be someone that people likes being around, I know it sounds hardcore, but people around you will ignore the things you don't know if you are a charismatic guy. Dress well, work out or find ways to improve yourself in ways that are noticeable, use human psychology to be fucking likeable.

Work hard, both on yourself and on your craft, study, get better, be social.

Stop being a twat because high chances are that the higher executives of your branch will not give a shit about your knowledge, but how good is to have you around. Join the circle, fuck your opinions about anything else, this is business, and business doesn't care about a lot of things. Don't cut throats, but make yourself a force to be reckoned with.

Source: Upper management, deals with VPs on a daily basis, knows that being a neckbeard will not take you anywhere.

Shit, again a long rant...

It all started 9 months ago.
We had a meeting with our group staff (5 people). Back the we discussed, if we should only work online or still send files around with mail.

Sure I suggested to run everything on a root server, would be the best performance/cost choice.

The president and the accounted refused, they said it's still working, why change. Payment will only be trough banktransfer and everybody keeps files local.

Back then I told them, that they will have sooner or later a problem. Files will be missing and bills not payd.

Last week we had a new meeting:
- Some of the group missed files.
- Some bills were unpaid

So now I have time until march to find and finish a groupware/collaboration tool.

I need to run member administration and payment online, this should be finished in October 2018. It should also do accounting.
Im really planing to use WooCommerce for this, I'm really crazy, I know! But I dont have time for that shit!

I work fulltime beside this and almost have no time to code something like that.

Well this week I demanded a memberlist, so I can plan a CRM database.

I received a word file as memberlist.
I asked them if this is a joke, right?!
They said no, thats the list. All the Data was mixed and some user details missing.

I HAD 3 HOURS TO GET IT DOWN IN EXCEL. WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS??? I REALLY WANNA PUNCH YOU ALL IN YOUR FACE!

When I sended it, I didn't receive a response or thanks.

The joke, I'm doing this stuff for free. I volontered, to make something big...

Im really going to shit Lego Bricks next...

My former housemates had a cat, they moved out and took said cat. Cat had fleas which I wasn't informed of.

Cleaning out the now vacant room with a can of flea spray in hand I utter:

"Now, my uninvited friends, sooner or later, even if I have to do it individually, by hand at times, I will find you all and I will squash you for I am a software developer and I deal with bugs all the time."

Not learning version control sooner

Not starting sooner. I’m 28 and started last year. I wish I had started 6 years ago at least...

That I didn't take an interest in it sooner

It's fucking never worth it, to be decent to colleagues. I got prove of that just this evening. Sorry, this rant will be a bit longer.

A colleague of mine inherited some legacy project that I worked on in the past. He clearly hates working on it. And tbh. I can't blame him for it. It's not very fun. He also makes virtually no effort to become more proficient in it.

This usually leads to him calling for my aid, whenever any problem arises, that would require any kind of effort to solve. I would normally cave in and help him. Mostly due to the fact, that without any intervention from me, it would end on my desk sooner or later.

That changed in the last few months, as I simply couldn't make free time to help him. anymore. I was working overtime and the associated project barely got done on time. During that time I would, as politely as possible, deny him. He knows fully how stressful the project was getting.

Today he asked for help again. I denied again, as a task was due very soon. He didn't reply to my message afterwards. After a few hours suddenly I got a bunch of his jira issues assigned to me.

The motherfucker simply shoved _all_ of his support issues to me. Not only that, he also assigned the issue he was asking for help for earlier as well. All without consulting me or anything. Then he pissed of into his vacation.

Some of his support issues have been created last year! And they are still not solved. He simply isn't replying to questions in those issues or just assigns them to others colleagues without any instructions.

Fuck him. Other colleagues don't even respond to him anymore. He fully fucking knows that I have a tight deathline on my current task. And still he chose to dump all his work on me, so that I have to waste time to reassign it and report it to our superior.

Fuck him for creating more stress in this already stressful situation. Enjoy your vacation you fucking leech. I will have quite a "nice suprise" waiting for you, when you return.

The whole company [cult]ure bullshit has really gotten out of hand. When management sets new deadlines that only put stress on the devs then decide to have some cringe AF company bonding soirée in the middle of the work day who benefits from this? The rebranded HR platoon thinks all employees want to participate in basically mandatory chum-it-up gatherings. Don’t get me wrong I love to party and enjoy myself, but I go to work to do just that. Work. And when other departments whose main responsibility is setting up events for the technical staff, they never seem to consider these work loads or what other people actually want. It might seem all fun and dandy on the surface but when you hear tales of people talking in the closed offices about so-and-so because they aren’t reflecting the cultural values, it starts to seem very fucking problematic. Like why would anyone ever say anything when you would probably just get the boot for just being too different, even though all this sits on top of some guise of, “a diverse work environment”. All in all I hope this [cult]ure shit summers down sooner than later. And I’m in a right to work state, so transparency be damned.

It is still blowing my mind how a button on my raspberry pi is programmatically functional in the same way as if I was programming a database and web app.

Fucking eh, why haven't I been doing this hardware stuff sooner? You can literally make physical shit happen. That is so cool!

That’s it I’m done with writing documents like Software Product Specifications and Software Requirements Documents and Software Architecture Documents, manuals, data sheets and more in MS word..

I’m doing it all form this point forward in LaTeX... I can stay in my editor, it works beautifully with version control because it’s just text... I can split it amung multiple files.. it looks damn sexy. I can focus on the content rather than being distracted by formatting and spelling issues and the rest of that shit.. ALSO.. it doesn’t crash or get corrupted.. well at-least I’ve never had a text editor crash or corrupt my files.

Idk why I didn’t learn latex sooner and do the switch.

Anyone who has watched Black Mirror and thought what shit it is and technology can never go that far but wonder what if it does and we all are fucked.

Or we are already there but mini version of it. I see people glued on there phone, screen, and even I am guilty of that. But the amount of data we create everyday which can be treated as huge asset by the AI and Data mining enthusiast, I dont doubt we will be at a breaking point, which is coming sooner than we think.

This new trend of platforms spamming with content discovery fucking suck. Nobody wants to follow multiple profiles with the exact same fucking content, especially when most of them are just people jumping on the bandwagon with more generic content and nothing to make it distinguishable. Also if 10 million people saw something on your platform, the it's pretty fucking sure already been posted and shared on every single platform out there, why the fuck would you still keep recommending it weeks or even months later?

I know spamming users with random (statistically more engaging) content leads to improved customer engagement as people sooner or later click these thing out of curiosity or boredom, but eventually they get tired of it altogether and leave for good. What happened to Netflix will also happen to YouTube, Instagram, and all other platforms unless they significantly improve the balance between content discovery and content continuity (i.e. the content each user follows and is coming back for).

!dev related

went from verizon's ludicrous 210 a month to 165 for 2 lines with t mobile...threw in a samsung s9 for myself, wife will keep her iphone7s plus and I am a happy camper. Why didn't I do this sooner? because fuck me I am an idiot......

If you ask me to run your reports, saying that it's urgent, then leave for a week's vacation, I will throttle your bandwidth to that of a 1200 baud modem for the next 3 months.

Am I the only one who encounters these dickhead teachers, who live in a world, where they think that you have just their subject?

I mean that kind of professor, who shows up 30 minutes late to a lecture, sends you source code with no commetary because fuck you with a rusty fork and tells you that we have no time to write the code during the class?

The one who shows you a shitty presentation with the same code he just sent you, just cut into 72 slides and at every slide tells something like this is pretty self explanatory, x just does y and if you ask a question he gives you that deep stare, like if you really mean it seriously to waste his time, since he really really wants to go to his office sooner so he can scratch his balls?

That type of professor who tells you that as a student of CS degree you are required to put some passion to your craft and study when you arrive at home and hes there just to give you guidelines, but apparently somehow forgotten that people usually need to sleep?

That same cunt who doesnt give a shit that you have 4 more projects to finish this week, doesnt push the deadline, nor give you advice, because you had opporturnity to ask the whole time?

But still that motherfucker, who gives you test questions that he took from mouth of Satan himself and then questions your answers like Where did you get that from?

Well fuck yall who do that shit, hope that you suffocate yourself while eating bread.

Why these douches doesnt understand, that even if we arent under the Working Laws, working more than 40 hours a week isnt the best way to keep us sane or motivated.

I've heard a lot of nice things about python so today I decided to check it out and HOLY CRAP this is an amazing language! Really makes me wonder why I didn't look into this sooner!

Seriously though! I looked at the documentation and official tutorials for like 30 minutes before writing a selection sort algorithm using only six lines of code. I'm quite mind blown.

Been on winter holiday for 3 days. Went to log in to my work laptop to clear out email - took me 20 minutes to remember my domain password.

Getting old sucks, kids.

Been getting a lot of troll / clown / clueless (?) comments on my posts recently. Select favorites include:

"Why do you have a login form on your website?" wut
"Why didn't you throw away that API key?" wut
"Why do you even need to access your apps' servers?" wut

There are just SO many amazing devs here who have NEVER had do any of those things, I'm quite literally an idiot and don't know what I'm doing, sorry for my ignorance. I'd forgotten that there is only exactly one way to build software, I wish I'd done it "that" way sooner! Foolish me.

Really not sure if trolls, clowns, or clueless. Don't care. 🤡🤡🤡

tell my boss on Friday that I'll work through the weekend to get done work done on some python code.

he doesn't give out vpn access so I can't use our company git so I put the project on a flash drive to work on.

come into work and I have an email. on Sunday he did everything I said I was doing (and had done) and then refactors the entire repo so even if he hadn't done the work, all of what I did became useless.

His way is the only way. but good luck getting him to tell you how he wants it. you just have to do a bunch of work only for him to tell you he doesn't like the way you did things and then he does it himself.

makes me realize why their other programmers didn't stick around. because they had to work so closely with this guy.

glad I started looking for other jobs sooner then later.

Boss at the start of a new project: "We could hire an intern to gatter some data in an excel list... You can easily implement that in the application later - right? So can you get us a excel list to fill out? "

No... Just no...

You tell me what you wanna see and how you wanna interact with the application!

In the process we will figure out which data is necessary, I will build some tables in the database for that data and then, !!! not a second sooner !!! , I'll be able to give you an suitable excel list, which includes a complete list of columns for the necessary data in a form I can work with it.

It's not my job to know what data a application needs to make YOUR JOB easier! I'm not a magician! I just love programming stuff!

Years ago I was working in local cinema as a student job from time to time and used to sleep after shifts at my uncle's. Uncle did not had internet but there were so many wlans all around. Since I had nothing to do for hours after shift, I downloaded Backtrack linux at home, made live dvd of it and saved a two articles of "how to hack wifi" to text files.

It took me 4 hours to break WEP, since I was total lame, and it was the only one WEP around. They also had mac restrictions set to router, so I changed my mac address to one of their devices, logged in to router and added our mac address. For my uncle it was complete magic but since he is total geek to linux he liked it.

Fast forward weeks later. When I came to my uncle's house he was downloading like ton of linux distributions. Literally each one. Gigabytes of data. I told him not to do so because sooner or later neighbour will notice, but he did not care. Guess what, he notices, probably slow internet and (maybe) bigger bills, I do not know, but owner just changed protocol to WPA2, not changing password. So the story continued for almost 2 years. Felt a bit sorry for neighbour but did not expect such an outcome. I just wanted to watch youtube videos and scroll social networks, keeping low profile so no one notice.

Finally learnt how to use MSBuild.

I should have done this much, much sooner...

I'm mad I didn't really look at Vue sooner

Using ALL CAPS on subject line of your helpdesk ticket, isn’t going to have it actioned any sooner!

~ before sprint starts, suring planning phase ~

Me: “There’s no chance this will be done in a sprint”.
Scrum Master: “Great, let’s just mark this as a risk and continue”.

~ two weeks later ~
Me: “oh jeez, I don’t think this task will be done this sprint!”
Screwyou Master: “Why didn’t you raise a flag sooner so we could plan better?”

~ Me proceeding to jumping off that beautiful skyscraper office ~

"We'll reach you out soon"

This is a sign you got rejected without hurting you.

"How do you see yourself few years from now?"
Is a sign that your employer would end your contract or you get to be terminated if you say that you will not be in their company.

"What's your expected salary?"
If you went overboard, they won't accept you. You either lower it or never give a fixed salary.

God why did no one tell me about these sooner. I'm facing mind-reading interviewer/recruiter/hr just to please them.

20 mins and it's still here. I think my death will arrive sooner than the update finishes.

[UPDATE] on my newly joined internship

Considering how corporate the organisation is, I'm surprised how chill everyone is. My team consists of mostly millennials, which is great!
Everyone is super helpful, I honestly thought it'd be shitty experience joining in and it'd all be so formal but none!
First few days I got no work, so I went and asked my mentor and he just laughed and said go home, watch Netflix, which I definitely didn't expected cause corporates

I got web testing work twice (sad I didn't get more, but in time it will increase), got some research work currently which is cool too.

Honestly, I wasn't excited to join as I didn't know what kinda work would I even get(it was pretty vague) but I'm glad I got this.
I'll continue to update here, and sorry I couldn't update any sooner

Cheers my dudes

Warning long rambling story cause sleep deprivation

I never really bothered with ssh outside of using putty to remote into my servers and rpi's from my desktop to run updates, install something, or whatever else.

But today I was on a call with my cousin bored cause she was just rambling, so I opened vscode to clean my install of unnecessary extensions I installed and haven't used more than once or twice.

I saw Remote - SSH and as I was bored listening to a teenager complain about high school just like I used to (lol) and responding when she asked me something. I scrolled through the page, then the documentation just casually skimming the text

I setup an ssh key on an rpi I threw manjaro arm following the instructions on their tips and tricks page
I then moved the key to my desktop using winscp (cause lazy)
leading to having a minor hicup of rsa not being an accepted keytype (thanks 'your favorite search engine' for the help)
Finally, I was able to connect using the private key

at this point my cousin went to bed cause she has school tomorrow. But I was still doing stuff with ssh, I created a new ssh connection in VSCode, but had to go to the documentation to figure out how to make it use my fancy new key file, not hard took 30 seconds of looking to get it working.

Now that I was in, I moved to my development folder, created a folder for PiHole, created a compose yml, created a pihole-data folder.
I opened the yml and pasted in a compose from dockerhub.

at this point I thought 'i can't just run this from terminal can I'. and Obviously it worked cause there's literally no reason it wouldn't I'm just stupid to think it might not.

So I created folders and files on a remote system, launched a docker container, checked for package updates after on a linux machine. All from VS-Code on a windows machine.

I know this is simple for some people, i know some people are like 'where's the interesting part'. but ehhh I thought it was cool to get it setup, I now really regret not getting into ssh sooner, and I'm definitely going to uninstall vscode on all my smaller graphical VM's in favor of doing this. and this will definitely help with my headless vm's.

I also will have to thank my cousin, might not have done this if I wasn't stuck at my computer on messenger call with her lol

I'm gonna go to bed now, But I feel accomplished for the first time in a while even if it's for something so simple as setting up anssh key for the first time

A full 4 level page table on x86_64 is over around 687 GB in size. Allocating it fixed size obviously won't work...

So now when allocating virtual memory pages for an address space I sooner or later have to allocate one page to hold a new page table... which has to be referenced by the global page table for me to use... where there isn't any more space... which is exactly the reason we allocated a new page in the first place... so I'm fucked basically

Every time I see a client open ssh or rdp to the world when the servers sit behind a vpn, I die a little inside.

Staff meetings would be more tolerable if they started off with karaoke.

"Dude, the earnings were cool and all but, man, you sure carried that note during 'Come Sail Away. '"

I have a client who is refusing to pay the remainder of their bill. When we last spoke 6 months ago they told me that they were traveling, had no time or capital to give me the videos so that I could finish developing the site, and that they'd contact me when they were ready to continue. Now they're angry that I contacted them for their status and say that the onus was on *me* to call them sooner.

Who is the onus on to keep contact going if one party says "I'll call you"? The developer or the client?

For what it's worth, the site is done aside from integrating media that they were going to be sending me.

If you are a mobile game developer and you make those stupid interactive ads that pop up in the middle of another game and try to make me play it. I dont like you and would sooner leave a bad review on your game for having the audacity to invade my other games. Stop it. It is the most annoying type of ad I have ever seen and actively discourages me from downloading your game. Mobile games are already basically a cancer without that horrendous experience.

Why yes, yes I do sort my M&M's and Skittles according to color, then eat them from fewest to most.

You wanna have a meeting, fine. We'll have a meeting. But for the love of balsamic vinegar, put a fucking agenda in. I automatically decline any meeting request with no agenda, regardless of who sent it.

Guard your time well, my friends. It is precious and fleeting.

Architect: I know we said we would never do The Thing because doing The Thing is really bad, but can we do The Thing for a proof of concept?

Me: How about Fuck No! Unless you are proposing a solution to fix The Thing, we are NOT doing The Thing just to satisfy some perverse curiosity you may be harboring.

dating is more deadly than death because it will sooner or later fuck you up so high that you will commit a spiritual suicide while physically remaining alive ☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️💧💧💦💦💦💦😢💦💦😭😭😭💦💦💦💦😭💦😭💦😭💦😭💦💦💦😭💦😭😭😭💦💦😭😭💦💦💦💦💦💦💦💦💦💦💦💦💦💦💦💦💦💦💦💦💦

!rant

I’m really loving being a contractor and working for myself.

Currently waiting for the client to order the next lot of work, so that means today I got to go out, go swimming, walk down the seafront and just generally have a nice day out in the sun with friends and family.

I can’t believe I didn’t try this whole remote contractor thing sooner.

Month passed so I looked at job offers and I am tired again.

All of them look the same and all of them look like crap. Some require stupid online tests preparation ( cause everyone likes to traverse tree 10000 times a day ).

Seriously I think I will go to supermarket and work there.
It’s more pleasant then getting input and pushing it in some stupid places all over again.
Finding some shit in shit pile, then moving this shit pile back and forth between different shit holes.

AI should start writing this stupid code, robots should provide food and build shelter.
The sooner the better for all of us.

Guess I was overdue for a bout of Imposters Syndrome, because now it's back in full force...

lets just wait till the day before deploy to finally authorize api testing for users outside of the network - and then get super upset when we aren't adjusted, prepared, and tested in time for next-day deployment

For the people who can't sleep. It looks easy, but there's smth in it what makes it hard. Sooner or later you'll fail. Not even generated with my advanced sudoku generator. This one is generated by my sudoku js widget what does a bare minimal of complexity in its generated puzzles. Let me know if you're able to solve it

Beware of those who give you garments and do not allow to mend them, for sooner or later thou shalt find what needs mending.
But beware also of those who give you badly rotten garments and say “Thou shalt prefer that above everything, for thou art allowed to mend it”.

To anyone sufferring/going to suffer from kidney stones, here's a golden rule what to do when the episode kicks in [the sooner you start - the better]: 2 pills of no-spa, 1 tablet of painkillers [ibuprofen/dolmen]. As soon as no-spa kicks in and relaxes your spasm -- become a fucking breakdancer. I shit you not. Start bending, spinning, jumping, swimming like a fucking hurricane. The more you move, the better chances are you'll make that lump of rock move down the pipes and unclog your drainage.

Did it this week. Did not need to come back to the ER.

This was my 5th stone. Many more to come [Pending...].

I don't understand why do they make us lay in bed in the hospital if we have kidney stones. They should pump us with no-spa and make us do gymnastics, acrobatics and brakedancing instead!

Finally starting to write unit tests for this Java library I'm working on, and I'm wondering why I didn't do this sooner.

Need to rant / maybe some advice.

Working remote is hard.
New company, remote on boarding. I feel like my coworkers are robots, and I'm being tossed into the deep end with minimal guidance.

The codebase is so unnecessarily complicated, its impossible to read. I've been trying to figure out how things work for a whole month, still not sure.

My mentor that is supposed to help onboard me is a robot, and answers questions in a somewhat acceptable manner, but it still feels like a lot of "figuring out" is still left for myself.

My other work partner that is also a newbie like myself is also a robot - doesn't talk or ask many questions whenever we have a sync up meeting.

The codebase is huge and feels quite overwhelming, I don't feel like I got a team "with my back", I don't enjoy work as much as I have before, I barely do any coding (mostly reading code and trying to understand how everything is working by setting breakpoints and debugging tests that take foreeeever to run), and some days I'm seriously considering cutting my losses and jumping ship just to save my sanity.

Am I paranoid? Am I just dumb? Should I just suck it up and be happy I have a job? Is this how Remote work is supposed to feel like? Why does it feel like my soul is dying?

Anyone in similar situations, or who can give some insight/advice/etc, I would highly appreciate it.

And this is supposed to be a good company too from the reviews. I don't know how it can be so crappy in reality. Did I make the wrong choice joining? Should I jump ship sooner rather than later? I've only been here about a month or so, and maybe its too soon? Halp!

JavaScript is a functional language.

It's probably closer to ocaml than it is to java. Why the fuck does no one talk about this? I would have learned it sooner.

Why the fuck didn't I use LaTeX sooner, even though I knew for years of its existence...
Bye Word and Libre Office and Open Office!

Now I CODE my docs in vscode!

At a previous company, we got stock options. My options wouldn't have made me a millionaire but it wasn't chump change, either.

For months, we went through the whole "we can't say we're going public but watch what you say" game.

One Monday, they called us down by groups to one of the large conference rooms to tell us paperwork was filed, that we were in a blackout period, and, oh, by the way, all those stock options were split 1-for-2 (half the stocks at twice the price.)

I really wanted to punch those smug motherfuckers when I watched them ringing the bell on the balcony of the NYSE.

I look forward to Friday's Nerf dart battles in the office. A great way to blow off the steam that built up during the week.

Just got handed a dozen servers. Documentation shows a (Linux) database cluster is using ldap authentication. I try logging in with my creds. No joy. I look up the root password and log in.

Not only is it not configured to use ldap, it's also not clustered.

I need more coffee.

Wrote code, tested it, and pushed to production for the first time in 3 months.

Great {diety} in {afterLifeLocation} it felt so goooooood to get back to developing.

Everytime I face a new bug, my innerself tries to convince me that I can never find a solution to this.
But my gut feelings know that sooner or later I've always found a solution.

Thanks to all the devs sharing their problems in the internet.

How to become the favourite client among your app devs in two simple steps

1 - raise a support ticket, stating that it really needs to be solved, the sooner the better, but omit any ids/names in the description.
2 - leave for a vacation, without any way to contact you.

Music, but if it has words they need to be foreign. J-rock, deadmau5, gogo penguin, carrion... All are good.
Dark themes everywhere unless it's java, because it helps me compartmentalise my languages.
Second screen hooked up with the stuff I want to be viewable all the time, as it doesn't change when I switch workspaces. (bug or a feauture?)
Door shut to muffle sounds from the rest of the house, window slightly open so I don't suffocate.
Pomodoro timer on, but put phone into silent mode so no notifications disrupt my focus.
Drinks and bathroom breaks happen in the 5 minutes between pomodoro sprints. Food happens in the 15 minute breaks.
Extra RAM stick is in the mail so I lose less time waiting for android studio to exhale or whatever it's doing as it holds up the whole computer.
I might just do the java parts of my project in bluej if this ram stick doesn't alleviate my problems. I could go outside and drink mud through a metre long straw with a filter on the end sooner than android studio gets unstuck.
If anyone can add more sensible ideas I'd be happy :)

!rant

A colleague of mine has made the right and brave decision to quit. For her it's absolutely the right decision but I hate how the company was OK and did nothing to keep her. I'd like to give her something small when she leaves. I was thinking about a book. Does anyone have any suggestions that might be a nice going-away and good-luck present for a valued colleague?

Is there a book or something similar in size that they really cherish and wish they had had sooner?

Sooner or later everyone needs a system restore.

Last internship : I learned modern opengl, libav and ffmpeg. I even was the only dev on some big contracts. Was a fucking cool internship because I learned everything I wanted to. But my manager had really low social skills. So been able to teach myself all of that was a good thing for everybody, but not for him. When the internship was over I got the worst mark of my promotion for the business with for comment that I didn't enough ask for help Oo wtf dude. Still get the best final markof the promotion and the only one who didn't work on web technologies :p but fuck you should have tell me sooner man...

Reminder: if you were tasked with breaking down a work item/story, and your breakdown involved so much incorrect, outdated, and downright incomprehensible gibberish that, when you were approached by another dev, you had to rewrite the whole thing -- after rewriting it into a form that includes almost none of the original and still contains errors and omissions, you do not get to announce to everyone that you were 'helping' said dev to 'understand'. If you do this you are not some machevellian linguistic genius, you are just an asshole who is going to get found out for your bullshit sooner or later.

My biggest dev regret is not learning to prioritize readability and maintainability sooner.

I had mentioned before I got offered a new role, with 50% increase.

I wasn’t expecting my current employer to counter, but they suddenly shat themselves and basically matched the salary, and offered promotion to software developer (sans junior). They acknowledge my role within the company is only increasing in responsibility and so far I have exceeded expectations. Its a nice response to have from them, although I do wonder how long it might have taken without the panic.

The new company have counter-countered, promising to raise salary by a further 20% of total, within the first 6 months, provided I learn React reasonably quickly (about a month), integrate with the team and start to take on my roles within the Agile set relatively independently (3-6 months). They also don’t bother with the junior role title at these pay bandings.

I currently get about half an hour a week with my lead dev on sticking issues. In this new team, I would be one of ten javascripters, working towards best practices, TDD etc. This is absolutely the realm I want to specialise in, at the first stage of my career.

I said I would stay with my current employer, before the counter counter move. Now I am full of doubt.

Has anyone landed in teams like this, only to find they didn’t offer increased learning at all? If that was a high risk for me, I wouldnt take it, despite the offer of more cash. I’d sooner get more skilled in the stuff I have been working in at my current role.

Pretty amazing how much amazing life experiences can cause anxiety. Never been in the middle of a bidding war before...

What is it about robot collected data that makes researchers so anal? Like, dude, it's not even personal data. It's literally robot's joint motor recordings. It's not nuclear data, so why the fuck do you protect it like your life and your country depend on it?

I hope you get fisted by that data every night and how it will end up in oblivion sooner because you didn't publish it. You asshole.

Our fucking life is short, we all going to die sooner or later, thats sad. To make the matter worse, every fucking software will eventually be written in Javascript. Fuck.

Work on something else. Have nothing else to work, invent a feature and work on that for a while. Do something other than that specific problem and an answer will come to you.

One of my tasks for today was to change one (ONE! I REPEAT, ONE!!) field in over 2100 clients. SAP has a transation that changes anything you want in mass, all I had to do was select the clients I wanted to change and the new field value. This transation has been running since 2pm, it's almost 6pm and it's only halfway through.

Tomorrow is a national holiday and I wanted to focus on my personal project, but I bet I'll have to do this again tomorrow, because there's no way in hell I'm staying here for 4 more hours to get this done today, and 4/5 hours when I get home is not enough!

So yeah, fuck SAP for taking so long, and fuck whoever didn't notice sooner that we had to change this.

Low code platforms (e.g. OutSystems) will gradually win over developers who will look back at all the time they've wasted and think "why the fuck didn't tell me about this sooner!!!"

Disclaimer: I work for OutSystems and can honestly say that I can create a production-ready app while you're still picking the best JS framework to get started with. Been there...

Actual rant: Time to move up the abstraction layer, get stuff done on time and on budget and go home (also on time) to enjoy life!

Boring one here but it was University. Always wished I started sooner. It would have been such an advantage.

Monday - delivered feature1. Manager demands starting to work on new feature2. I start working on feature2.

Thursday - in late evening manager provides feedback from testing feature1 for which internal testing starts Monday.

Friday. I start investigating. Everything is fucking broken. Backend contract broken from BE side, UI broken by another team member's PR from FE side. Missing configuration from FE side that was not documented anywhere.

I start working on issues from my side, inform relevant parties and coordinate that they would make fixes on their side (ofc after getting a lot of pushback trying them to force me to write workarounds to work with their broken implementations)

My manager during the day: what was the reason for us being blocked now?

Me: broken BE, broken FE by another team member, missing undocumented configs. Too late (and incomplete) testing feedback. Having to switch to feature2 priorities before finishing everything with feature1. Basically all things out of my scope.

My manager: so just to clarify we are blocked from internal testing because YOU missed this? Why it wasnt caught sooner?

Me: due to 5 same reasons that I listed before, I can list more but would prefer focusing on getting things working today

Manager: Ok, as WE discussed let's focus on getting things working and discuss about improving this processes in the future.

Seriously it fucking sucks working in this bank as a mobile developer.

We are responsible for basically everything.

From scoping out work according to business requirements, documenting stuff, to creating/maintaining BE contracts and constantly double triple checking everyone else's work across the chain.

Actual mobile implementation or proper testing is like the last priority in this case. And yet we are the ones that take all the blame if we fail to meet arbitrary deadline.

Fucking hell. Im gonna start documenting all decisions of this retarded manager, I'm not gonna allow him to throw me under the bus due to failures caused by his own shitty decisions

Finally performing that dev rite of passage: working on my personal site.

Would have done it sooner if I had design skills.

Thanks! It arrived sooner than I thought! Thank you! Love the stickers!!
❤️❤️❤️

I think I'm in love.
Can you legally marry a computer program? Because I sure would like to propose to git.
When I read the various "What do you regret not doing sooner? Starting to use GIT" rants, I though meh, it cannot be that amazing. But it is, it goddamn is.
GIT already managed to save me ~three days of headache, and possibly prevented me from degrading my AI. And all that on the first day of usage!
I think my life has become at least 30% easier today^^

I would cause intense pain to any project manager that calls a useless meeting that could have been avoided if they had read the fucking status emails I send.

Product was not thrilled with our estimates we gave them for the next phase of our project. So they got the veep to give us 2 new team members - a new hire and an existing senior - in hopes that it will allow us to finish a lot sooner.

Because 9 women can make a baby in a month, right? Gods forbid we consider removing anything from the scope of this phase. Mind you, there's still another phase planned after this one before we even release the product.

People need to learn the value of "lsof | grep delete"

So I am on a vacation for a month and a few days before it ends. My boss calls me and tells me "why don't you take one more week" then he told me that's when he will be back to work as well because he is traveling. When I told him why he said he wants to talk to be before getting back to work.
When he found me sounding worried, he said don't worry there is nothing you are missing we just want to align our plans and give you updates on the period you were gone for.

When I asked him what if I wanted to get back to work sooner, he said I prefer if you wait till I come back

And now I am super worried and paranoid, advice please 😥

Rant against me:

I am a fucking moron for not getting to docker soon enough. Should have started udied it and built dev environments (at the least) for years.

I think it was another user here is that recommend some tutorials heyheni...I should have listened to you sooner bro

Sooner or later, you'll need a VPN access to get an accurate information within the US. The population is fat from garbage food, and now they will be fat in retardness from their media.

I remember when I was installing shareware in early 2000 and it always prompted me to install spyware sidebar, search bar for my web browser.

Another screen during installation was desperately trying to change my start page and adding couple of bookmarks for me so the developers got paid.

Tucows I think was the leader of those installers and I didn’t mind to get software for free and click to uncheck checkbox to not install optional crap.

At least it wasn’t a virus and viruses from 2000 were not that harmful, most of them were just annoying.

Fast forward 25 years and apparently those developers are now working directly for the web browser companies. Instead of trying to force me to install unwanted stuff it comes bundled with browser and I can’t uninstall or disable it.

And now it got me to think if history repeats itself and if technology bubble is going to pop sooner than later. All this money would be gone but I can’t find the place where it can happen and how it can happen.

But it’s going to happen for sure.

Wow... I should have done this sooner.
A recent rant had expressed that firefox had a strange "bug" (I'm convinced it's a feature) that would allow videos to continue playing even when one turned off their phone.

I finally got around to testing this and can i just say I'm euphoric right now!

Built a pFSense box for home with said proxy. Even though my internet connection is slow it seems fast now thanks to squids MITM https proxy and http proxy. Plus a little QoS helps. And it has so many more features than a regular router.... WTF didn't I do this sooner?

I found out that apache had built-in support ( via a module - mod_md ) for automatic TLS certificate management with Let's Encrypt since October 2017.

Bloody Hell! Why didn't I hear of this sooner?

So, I ran off into my cloud to set up this so-called ManagedDomain ( mod_md ).

Found the module in the package repositories, installed it and started testing it out.
I started writing IfModule conditions under mod_ssl so that I wouldn't have to overwrite my existing TLS configurations ( which was already issued by Let's Encrypt via certbot, by the way ).

After a whole night of twisting and turning with the configurations, it turns out that the module in the package repositories were built for ACMEv1 and that API has been dead for as long as the module has been around.

I had noticed that the module was 'experimental', but I still hoped that they had the packaged the module.

Finally, I cozied back up with certbot. At least, until this so-called mod_md becomes stable and mainstream.
I hope certbot doesn't make a fuss. I'm sure, it got offended that I was trying to cheat it with mod_md.

A bad dev habit I should unlearn?

How about being too stubborn to take an idea out back and put it out of it's misery. You know what I'm talking about. Got some elegant idea in your head, it looks so pretty and masterful. You begin to implement it but straight away, things start looking pretty fucking ugly. You persist though, and persist.

Sooner or later that pretty idea looks like Donald and Hillary decided to spawn a love child. You close your eyes and grit your teeth, unwilling to put the abomination out of it's misery.

You stop and finally open your eyes to look at what you've done. A hideous beast with Gary Johnson's nose, Bernie's voice. Donald's hair, and Hillary's lips stares back at you. Yeah. Now you've wasted hours upon hours and only have a mistake worse than the 2016 American Presidential Election to speak for it.

rm -f /etc/motd; ln -s /dev/urandom /etc/motd

Computer! I live in a state of constant mental exhaustion. What does this mean?

*BEEP-BOOP*. IT MEANS YOU'RE STRESSED, BITCH.

Interesting. How do I get rid of this... "stress" you speak of?

*BEEP-BOOP*. GO OUT, BITCH. SEE NATURE, BITCH. CONNECT WITH HUMAN BEINGS, BITCH.

Oh, fuck no, that's just not going to happen. Any other tips?

*BEEP-BOOP*. STOP USING DRUGS, BITCH. YOU DRINK TOO MUCH COFFEE, BITCH.

Well, fuck me, I can't do that either; guess I'll just take this with me to the grave. Thanks anyway, computer.

*BEEP-BOOP*. YOU'RE WELCOME, BITCH. YOU'RE GOING TO DIE, BITCH.

Yes, I hope as much. The sooner the better.

This was initially a reply to a rant about politics ruining the industry. Most of it is subjective, but this is how I see the situation.

It's not gonna ruin the industry. It's gonna corrupt it completely and fatally, and it will continue developing as a toxic sticky goo of selfishness and a mandatory lack of security until it chokes itself.

Because if something can get corrupted, it will get corrupted. The only way for us as a species to make IT into a worthy industry is to screw it up countless times over the course of a hundred years until it's as stable and reliable as it can possibly be and there are as many paradigms and individually reasonable standards as there can possibly be.

Look around, see the ridiculus amount of stupid javascript frameworks, most of which is just shitcode upon vulnerabilities upon untested dependencies. Does this look to you like an uncorrupted industry?

The entire tech is rotting from the hundreds of thousands of lines of proprietary firmware and drivers through the overgrown startup scene to fucking Node.js, and how technologies created just a few decades ago are unacceptable from a security standpoint. Check your drivers and firmware if you can, I bet you can't even see the build dates of most firmware you run. You can't even know if it was built after any vulnerability regarding that specific microcontroller or whatever.

Would something like this work in chemical engineering? Hell no! This is how fucking garage meth labs work, not factories or research labs. You don't fucking sell people things without mandatory independent testing. That's how a proper industry works. Not today's IT.

Of course it's gonna go down in flames. Greed had corrupted the industry, and there's nothing to be done about it