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Client :- The app is slow on my device, please fix.
Developer :- Working fine on all the devices I tested, are you sure?
Client :- Yes, it's very slow. I can't accept this app.
Developer :- (Recompiles the same codebase again) Here, try this, optimized a lot of calls, took me entire day to do so.
Client :- Yes, it is working fast now
Developer :- (evil laughs)11 -
I was going to be very productive today.
My current 100kbs speed is making that any command entered into an ssh session has a delay of about 10-20 seconds.
My patience is being tested at some very high level right now.22 -
Whenever I find a good github project I go straight for the "utils" folder to see if I can steal anything useful5
-
Tested on local work perfectly,
Push to production
Restart service
CPU went up to 100%, process alive but all services down.
Panic.
Try to think of what would be the cause.
With no hope, i restarted the service again.
Everything works as expected.
I still dont know what happened. :/7 -
I just invented a new JavaScript operator. It's named "plus with wings", and it's used to sum to numbers without ambiguity or any need of type conversion, for example:
3 -+- "2" // 5
"2.1" -+- "4" // 6.1
"-1.1" -+- "" // -1.1
So, from now, you won't have to wonder anymore what type is that variable.
Tested on all browsers25 -
Someone asked how patient you are?
.
.
.
.
I used Android studio on a laptop with 4 GB RAM.. and tested apps on emulator.
PS - It kept my hands warm in winters.13 -
Today I was hired to pentest a company's framework. While getting directions on what needs to be tested I counted 4times the sentence:
"We are a multi-awarded company for our security, virtually nothing gets past our firewalls".
Most of the PCs had Win9810 -
Got them 3 weeks now. Tested them before posting, here my summary:
Pro:
Arrived in 1 week (US to Germany)
Squeaky while squeezy
Nice hats
Really are helping
Stressball tastes nice
Contra:
IT'S FUCKING HARD TO FUCKING PUT THE CHRISTMAS HATS ON
Your sincerely,
A loyal customer
5 -
Me: Boss, your new project is ready, we've tested the technical aspect but we're waiting on your approval before deploying, will you test it?
Boss: yeah sure, I'll test it in 5
*2 weeks later*
Boss: why isn't that project deployed yet?
Me: you haven't tested it, and we haven't gotten approval
Boss: oh right, I'll go test it right now!
*2 weeks later*
Boss: I NEED that project to go live RIGHT THIS MOMENT!!!
Me: sure, have you tested it yet?
Boss: nope, but I need it
Me: well, I'll put it live, but me and my colleagues are shifting responsibility to you, since you haven't tested it. Are you sure?
Boss: yeah, yeah whatever...
*put product online*
*2 days later*
Angry call from boss, bugs have been found, tell him that he approved the state of the product and that the bugs will go on the to-do list...
Boss is extremely pissed, but recognized his mistake...
Now, the boss actually tests everything thoroughly at the moment we tell him to! No more bugs, complaints, and I got a raise!5 -
/***********************************
/* a temporary hack, fix it later *
***********************************/
That was 7 years ago. I mean it was last edited 7 years ago when a temporary hack was created. It is now a permanent solution as nobody know what we are supposed to fix
.... Nothing is more permanent than a temporary fix. Not even clean refactored and tested code.13 -
Listen. Use invariants. If you can do
if(!x) {
return foo;
}
...rest of function logic...
Instead of
if(x) {
...some long branch with more tests...
} else {
return foo;
}
Please do. It's so much easier to read when all of your conditions are tested in a line at the top instead of nested 8 layers deep in if-else blocks.
Thanks12 -
Worst bad practice..
Manager: I need code today
Developer (thinking) : let me give it without unit test. Anyways tester will test it.
Manager to tester: complete testing fast.
Tester(thinking): developer must have unit tested it. Let me skip it.
Enjoy testing completed.
God help clients.. 😊5 -
I had an interview with facebook, asked me to write something that sorts points on a parabola. Wrote it in java, tested output every step of the way with the interviewer watching.
Said they didn't like that I wrote pseudocode. You know, the kind that compiles and takes in dynamic input and prints the answer correctly to the console.6 -
Install Kali
Configurate Kali
Testing with a VM
Testing with my own Network
FUCKED MY NETWORK FOR 4 DAYS
.
.
.
Analyse my Mistakes
Test again with my Network
Accomplished
Tested my Neighbours Network
Found 3 ways to get in less than 5 Minutes
Went to Neighbour
Said that his Network is pretty easy to hack
Earned 30€10 -
Tested and checked in code. Left on vacation and came back.
The code I checked in still was there, still works, and didn't cause any fires while I was gone :)
Success!2 -
Just wanted to say cheers to all those coders among you who make sure their login is encrypted, their passwords are hashed and salted, their codes are tested and their forms are code injection safe.
No client will understand what you did, so take my props for it! After all, its our responsibility to make sure software is secure. That's all :) -
No boss... For the fucking millionth time: unit tests are not a waste of time.
You keep testing everything manually and hoping that you tested everything every time and praying that there are no bugs IS THE FUCKING TIME WASTE
My boss just can't fucking wrap his head around automated tests... I'm trying hard... Gonna try harder...6 -
When your client still need your work to be tested in IE7....next, should I ask whether I need to test it in Netscape?4
-
COVID variants should adopt a semantic versioning, rather than using greek alphabetics.
COVID v.19.2.34
COVID V.22.1 Beta (testing in US)
COVID v.22 release 1 (being tested somewhere in London)
COVID v.22 nightly builds (still brewing in China)6 -
Team says their code is done, tested, and working. They have merged all of their code and now to merge it with mine.
Take care of the merge, go to test it, and NONE OF IT WORKS.
Ok... So maybe something in my code did it. NOPE. Still crashes without mine.
Thank goodness for version control.
Now need to help define what "tested and working" means...4 -
You know when you click an image to see a larger version and a light box loads a smaller image. Who the fuck tested this shit and thought "Yeah that looks alright."?1
-
https://privacylab.yale.edu/press
TL;DR : 75% of the 300+ apps tested contained trackers in them.
🤔🤔🤔 *slowly pulls nokia 3310 out*8 -
I was taking an introductory programming course. One assignment was to do a little payroll program, including some data validation. The program was supposed to accept terminal input and send output back to either the console or a printer.
Suddenly the printer began spewing out paper like crazy. One of the students (a particularly mouthy woman) had programmed a less-than-helpful error message ("YOU ARE WRONG") and then not provided any exit from the error-checking logic -- the program just re-read the last (failing) input and re-tested it. All in all, it was a very nice infinite loop.
After spitting through about fifty pages of "YOU ARE WRONG," somebody cut power to the printer, and the instructor had to flush the print queue manually. He went back to the student and asked if she had tested the program by sending the output to the console before trying to print it, and she said, yes, she had tested it on the console and ended up with a screen full of "YOU ARE WRONG" messages. Why, then, had she sent her output to the printer? "I thought I would be daring!"
7 -
PM asked us to skip the unit test and just deliver untested application to SIT environment due too tight timeline. But when there are defects raised by tested, PM asked why got bugs and asked us to fix them immediately while we have to develop other new features at the same time.5
-
- Did someone tested it on our test machines?
- No there was no time to do this.
*preparing for nuclear fallout from customer in 3..2..1..*3 -
Turns out apple doesn't allow apps that use GPS on iPads without a GPS module. Decent idea, 100% undocumented. One stack overflow answer, zero upvotes.1
-
*PM looks at my code
*Deletes my constants, replaces with inline strings
*Changes order of conditions (that I tested)
*Hits save --> autoformats code into shitty looks
*Commits: "fix"9 -
Me when I'm updating my projects:
"I put some new code in,
I took some old code out,
I put some new code in and I tested it all out, I fixed some major bugs and I pushed the update out. That's what it's all about!"5 -
Published a well documented and tested API with project examples for basic use cases
- "Yeah we didn't use yours because we didn't know how to use it"
- "Did you look at the documentation or code examples?"
- "What where?"
- "In the repo you just cloned"
- "Yeah no <random guy> found a hacky way of doing what we want, his thing just works"
- "I..."4 -
Had yet another devrant script idea, now whenever you click outside the textbox on accident, it will be saved and restored, once you return to it on the same page.
In fact, if you're reading this - this rant has been tested with it and survived.
https://github.com/7twin/...
22 -
PM says you are spending too much time testing. Fast forward to a production bug and they are standing behind you while you are frantically coding saying "this should have been tested more".7
-
Today someone was testing a website for me.
Tester: I've found a bug this button doesn't work
Me: It works. I tested it in Firefox and Chrome.
Tester: I'm using Edge
Me: Oh yeah. Forgot that was even still a thing...7 -
Is a code truly tested until it has print("Fuck this"), print("Fuck that"), print("Fuck you"), print("Fuck me") spread along every code path?8
-
I hate that fucking feeling, when I am 9001% certain that the bug is caused by the shitty framework because I tested every detail and could exclude my code as the culprit, but later realize it was in fact myself, because I overlooked one pissing line.
Holy fuck.1 -
Just tested my GPU code vs my non-GPU code.
Its a simple game of life implementation. My test is on a 80 x 40 grid running for 100,000 cycles.
The normal code took 117 seconds.
The CUDA code took 2 seconds.
Holy fuck this is terrifying.3 -
Objective c is the ugliest most esoteric programming language there is and it has no place in modern development.6
-
Saw a silent mouse. No clicking noise.
Ohhh thats pretty cool I guess.
Tested the silent one and normal one.
Liked the normal one because it has clicking noises.2 -
My Nexus 6P died yesterday..
A new battery that I ordered for it months ago, arrived.. today.
4700mAh. If only I could've tested it.
This feels so much like it was just to rub it in a little bit further that that Nexus is gone forever.. just before I could fix the first shitstain, the second one occurred already... Fuck me :')9 -
Ah, new feature submission to app store day.
- Tests passing = check!
- App built = check!
- App manually tested = check!
- App store content = check!
- Boilerplate answers to the same 6 questions from PM, every time we go through this = check!
Ready to go baby!! -
A friend of mine (who is French) has made a little firewall for Windows (idk why).
He sends me the binary, so I tested it and got around it fairly easily.
Replied to him: "I have a nice name for it: Maginot line" -
In honor of Erwin Schrodinger's birthday I may or may not kill a cat. For the love of God nobody ask me which.5
-
Personal Project:
Code lives in gitrepo, commits to master are automatically unit tested and if all tests work it will be published to production
At Work:
"If you're done put this .bat in the project folder, it will copy everything in it per ftp to production"1 -
My special edition $130 mouse finally arrived. It takes it's place as the most pretencious thing I own
20 -
Hey so this is more of an Android advice post rather than a rant
So it's to do with the app I'm working on, I want to make sure that the app images are working on different size screens and I was wondering if using the developer option for changing dpi a feasible option in terms of testing, so far I've tested for xxhdpi and xxxhdpi, and just now tested for xhdpi and so far so good.
But I can't seem to test for any smaller screens (240dpi and below)
Just thought I'd ask you guys because this is the best community ever!
12 -
Well, my dev sin is...
Basically every project of mine is not commented, is not unit tested and doesn't have any kind of documentation.
But I try to remove my bad habit!1 -
Sometimes dirty code is more efficient than clean code.
If features get dropped frequently and requirements change every few days, writing best-practices, tested code is wasted time. Learned that in my first job where I thought the other devs were all bad. Until I realized their bad code pays my salary, and my clean code takes more time to develop.6 -
Had my pure PHP web app rejected on a market platform because I didn't use a framework..
BITCH IT WORKS PERFECTLY WITHOUT A FUCKING FRAMEWORK, IF YOU WOULD HAVE TESTED IT YOU WOULD HAVE SEEN THAT!22 -
Regular expressions is like a condom, it's safe, combat tested and works most of the time.
But if you use it too much it gets dirty quickly.3 -
Tested out my first app and it worked beautifully. I’m a projectionist and I made this to give me a constant visual feed of projector communication connection. Still in development, not ready for deployment yet. But it works!
I’m posting here because although this site did not help me technically, it definitely helped me emotionally. ;)
6 -
My new favourite response to a bug ticket:
"But do you not remember we tested the implementation and it worked?"
... yes ... then it broke under other circumstances.
... must be terrorists or something2 -
My friends, here you can see the absolute worst of internet speeds. This was tested within 5 minutes of a regional town centre.
17 -
I have tested FreeNAS for a couple of days, there is one fucking stupid thing that I just dont understand:
Why have'nt I used it before?!10 -
So apparently iOS 11 doesn't allow you to add up 1+2+3 as it tells you it's 24 and you can't type the letter "i" as it will be converted to some non recognizable character, so my question now is, who tested this and who got brutally murdered?
4 -
What do you mean you no longer want the feature? We have developed the feature, we have tested the feature, we have sign off for the feature. You are getting this feature, whether you like it or not!
-
Fuck this shit.
I got tested positive this morning.
I might have accidentally infected my parents and my colleagues.
21 -
BOSS allowed a last minute change that apparently was barely tested to be merged right before the last release of the year...
BOOM!!!
Me: ... I told you so....1 -
Here's to the next orbit around the sun y'all!
Hope we all push unit tested code with the least number of to-do's, and fix more bugs than we create!2 -
Moral of the day -
Thus spake the Master Programmer:
"When a program is being tested, it is too late to make design changes."
- The Tao of programming1 -
team lead: what is the minimum lenght validation on the first name field?
dev: i decided to put minlenhgt 3
team lead: why? did you tests it
Dev: i tested it. 3 makes sense to me
Team lead: isint your first name 2 letters long?
Dev: oh i dodth think about that4 -
Client: The image upload functionality is broken!!
Me: just tested it, works fine.
Client: no I'm trying to upload this image and it says It cannot complete the request.
Me: hmmm...
Client: does the fact that the image is 36MB has something to do with it?
Me:
-
Spent weekend building DevRant Api Wrapper in Python.
Link: https://github.com/aayush26/pirant
How to Install(tested in Python 2.7):
sudo python -m pip install pirant==0.1.3.dev1
Currently, only features to getRants. More features coming soon....29 -
I've tried multithreading with php, wrote a simple script which checks a series of ip addresses and tries to ftp into them.
I've noticed that the script is running very slow, i checked everything, tested the db, tested my code, i've started to doubt, that my compilation of php was fucked up (btw i did that for the first time).
Then i've started to mesure the time of each db request, but the numbers didn't add up. Then it fucking hit me...
I fucking set the timeout for ftp_connect to 5 seconds, and that was causing the slowdown. I wasted two fucking coding sessions on finding that out.
What a fucking blind moron can I be, holy shit.4 -
On my first week in the internship, I have to create a small website and it has to be finished ASAP. So I used Bootstrap.
After finishing I tested the website in chrome debugger tools for every screen size (design responsiveness), it was working fine. My stupidity was that I haven't tested on actual mobile/tablet.
The site was live, I send the link to one of my friends and he said "why everything is so small? looks like I'm browsing on PC". I quickly grab my phone and visited the site and it was not responsive on mobile. Started to check the code again, tested again on chrome tools it was working. But not on mobile. Changed the bootstrap file but no fucking changes on mobile.
After few moments of thinking, I realized that I haven't included the "meta viewport" tag. I felt so stupid and it was kind of embarrassing for me.
Now I first include meta tags before working on new project.5 -
Me: "The exploit worked when you tested it too, right?"
Them: "..."
Me: "You tested it too, right?"
Them: "..."
*facepalm* -
different kinds of doneness:
- The German kind: The method is thought through, implemented, documented, errors are handled and thoroughly tested.
- The "other" way: The method is there ... somewhere3 -
"I understand you want to write your own code. But that's not professional. If you have reusable tested code just copy and paste it in your project"
I thought he was joking. But I am realising it's the most valuable advice in jy workplace11 -
So I was watching Adam Savage’s Tested on Youtube about VR prototypes and I finally found out who Zuckerberg reminded me the most.
5 -
Tested a site in edge browser but it kept crashing the browser. No idea why the site was crashing. Other sites worked fine. How did I fix it?
Restarted Windows...2 -
Best way to get rid of popups and Adblock-blockers:
Just disable JavaScript.
Tested working with Forbes.8 -
just tested one of my the old website i have made on google PageSpeed Insight got 0/100 for mobile and desktop speed1
-
My manager asked me: Did you tested the website on all browsers?
I simply said YES. Then he asked again, Did you test it on IE?
I simply replayed: what that IE? We don't use untrusted application for testing our work.1 -
FUCK FIREBASE, FUCK CLOUD MESSAGING, FUCK GOOGLE, FUCK APPLE, FUCK PUSH NOTIFICATIONS, FUCK PROGRAMMING AND FUCK MY LIFE. JUST TELL ME MOTHERFUCKERS WHY NOTIFICATIONS IS NOT WORKING ANYMORE, I SWEAR I DIDN'T CHANGE A SINGLE LINE OF THE FUCKING CODE. AND IT'S BEEN ONLY ONE WEEK SINCE THE LAST TIME I TESTED IT.5
-
Me: Im testing a new feature that is not on production yet for 30m and can not make it work. (I asked the developer for any idea why is not working)
Dev: i just tested, works fine.
Me: i just tested again with no luck. I’m i missing anything?
Dev: (Developer comes to my desk). Lets see what you doing wrong here. (After 5seconds). You're not on UAT. You have been redirected to the production and you've been testing there all this time.
Me: 😩 -
Fucking great.
A fucking nightmare for one month to present a near-finished functioning web-app instead of a prototype.
Web-app presented in a prototipe-ish manner because it was actually being FUCKING TESTED WITH INVESTORS?!??!!??!
OMFG IM SOOOOO PISSED IM JUST GONNA ASK FOR VACATION AND DISAPEAR
WTF2 -
Product gets launched in 2 hours. Just casually updating the documentation. Nice chill day. Everything tested and validated.
Then some random f**king designer comes barging in vomiting all these "necessary" features to the product owner.
This was yesterday. The designer and product owner are currently complaining to us devs that there are bugs everywhere...
I need a beer.3 -
Don't you just love it when a customer reports a bug in their live system and it's really urgent to correct it; then you go out of your way to fix it ASAP and deploy it to the staging system for them to verify. Three weeks later the customer has still not tested the bugfix...1
-
I just found a new WhatsApp Crash Exploit. Full denial of service right there. An attacker could send a message to a Chat (be it private Chat or group Chat) and everyone who receives the message has no chance of starting WhatsApp again. It crashes and won't restart.
Tested on latest version on Samsung Galaxy S6 and S8. Don't know if it works on other versions but I am pretty sure it does. (It's midnight here, noone online to test)
The fun thing is, I knew this Bug for a long time but when I last tested it, nothing happened. Which means this Crash is only possible because someone at WhatsApp programmed a new Feature...19 -
Unknown notification error.
devRant unofficial
@JS96 @dfox
too bad... I'm sure @dfox didn't tested in production (joking... don't be too serious guys...)
4 -
The good thing about these latest sourcetree updates is I finally am forced to learn git command line.
-
one gotta love Cordova piece of shit -.-
Tested app on browser all is good, deployed on phone and that shit wasn't able to access internet, turned out I needed another cordova plugin for this shit to work.
XCode, I'm sorry bro you are much less pain than cordova :(18 -
Noob question here, I see that every single iOS developer around here is shitting on Xcode, but then I saw this today on my way to download PHPStorm. Anyone tested it? Thoughts?
7 -
Mary had a little Amazon Lambda,
It tested quite ok,
Tried to expose it with an API,
...Internal Error 500....1 -
Sat for hours programming in a great new feature. At the end I tested it... and nothing happened. It didn't even have any effect. It just continued as normal. Talk about deflating enthusiasm...2
-
Me: Im testing a new feature that is not on production yet for 30m and can not make it work. (I asked the developer for any idea why is not working)
Dev: i just tested, works fine.
Me: i just tested again with no luck. I’m i missing anything?
Dev: (Developer comes to my desk). Lets see what you doing wrong here. (After 5seconds). You have been redirected to the production site and you've been testing there all this time.
Me: 😩1 -
Boss: "we're going to take over a project from another company. that's what we know so far - any other questions?"
Me: "do we get the history (svn/git) or just current source? unit tests?"
Other company: "no history for you. no unit tests - app was only tested manually"
Me: *sigh* :'(3 -
Flipping client is checking my website work for them in an old version of internet explorer before I've even tested and having a go at me!
** Stick to your own job arseholes ** -
Found a big box of forgotten thumb drives at the shop, still packaged and everything. 7 yrs old or so. Figured I should test them. They're all the same 2GB Kingston drive. 30 tested good, 13 had 0 byte raw capacity, 12 reported that they were CD drives, 13 reported 1.1TB capacity, and 9 either got really hot or went up in smoke.6
-
!dev
Fucking covid.
Three days before I had a week trip to meet some clients / see old friends... Fucking covid.
My gf tested positive just now, and I tested negative, but taking into account 3 days incubation time, the most sensible thing is not to travel.4 -
Unit testing is cool and all, but FFS...
If you want unit test - cool. But its not drop-in replacement for functional testing!
I believe each release should be manually tested.9 -
Being a team leader some times sucks have to take responsibility for everyone's elses functionality that doesn't work or wasn't tested in production. Leads often ends up working overtime fixing everyone elses work :(1
-
Just found out that a big hosting provider saves a user's SQL and FTP password in a plain text file just at the parent folder of the normally accessible ftproot.
Using some linux commands you can
cat ../mysql_pw
cat ../ftp_password.txt
IT'S NOT EVEN ENCRYPTED OR HASHED
(This is tested on a minecraft server, would also work on other services)
5 -
The whole application was tested by 1 QA who was uploading only one 3MB file.
Now on production ~300 users upload in a batch one hundred 100 MB files... and nothing works now
WHO WOULD EXPECT THAT?4 -
I seriously cannot stress how important it is to build good reliable tests. Especially regression testing.
I am crying inside over the amount of time I've lost in my integration hell.
Seriously stupid shit that should have been tested but never did because I was too fucking lazy. Don't be me. Don't put yourself in the hell I'm in. Be better.1 -
Today on "You're wasting your life by not writing typescript"
Union types
The value with redux, among other things, is incredible
3 -
Me: Yay everything is tested and everything works!
Manager: Changes password of the e-mail server
Me: :(5 -
Set up a personalized web front page for the news organization I worked for in the spring. Left it for the editorial staff to be tested and approved.
Didn't hear a word for almost a year when the PO asked for me to deploy it.
After a few days, the editorial staff started asking questions.
I really, really wonder what they did all those months before release... -
Time for a full refactor. Everyone can go home for three days while I unfuck every page and pattern.
-
Working on my personal projects really shows me how rushed the work is were I work, and it drives me crazy.
I know my code works 100% in my current project as it is unit and e2e tested, so I can edit it until the cows come home.. at work though, different story. -
New normal. New app to build.
- Still have to maintain older systems in parallel
- That leaves 1 week for developing the new app
- Slept 2 hours a day, coding coding coding
- Tested the shit out of the app because.. hey, its to help the customers' safety and health... I don't mind staying up late
- Finished the app in 5 days, code is now on prod
- Could barely look myself at the mirror because I look like shit
- Btw the app requires an external device as an input, the existing device works flawlessly based on my testing
- We need more devices
- Clueless manager bought new model instead. He assumed everything is fine, no testing is required
- Tested the app with new device model, doesn't work
- Deadline closing in
- Thanks, there goes my sleep
- THANK YOU1 -
Literally anything breaks
Management: Devs should have tested it
Devs: What the fuck are testers for?11 -
I understand that changing code requires it to be tested, but removing code that has been commented out for years shouldn’t matter!
Save my soul11 -
!rant
Visual Studio Live Share is finally available for the general public! I beta tested this, it's great. Check it out:
https://visualstudio.com/services/...
Much better than pushing and pulling with git for pair programming.3 -
This week, they tested my backend and all hell broke lose ON THEIR SIDE. We had an emergency phone call and I proofed that it was not my fault which they even acknowledged.
Today, was a good day.1 -
Nothing like a client bitching on the weekend that a promo code is broken on their site. Except it works just fine and they printed your physical materials with the wrong code to hand out. And they tested and verified it working with the correct code on QA. AND IN TWO SEPARATE FUCKING EMAILS
-
ran 7 servers locally
1 frontend
6 backends.
tested a task I'm working on.
worked flawlessly.
dayaum.5 -
Coded a project for months, only tested it in Firefox. Then I think about the other users, so I fix everything in Chrome. After this I sent it to a friend to try it out, says not working at all in Safari, Mac. Okay, another few nights without sleep then... 😩8
-
THE FUCK MICROSOFT?! HOW COULD YOU FUCK UP ALT+BACKSPACE IN WORD 2016 WHAT IS THIS SHIT SUPPOSED TO DO IT MAKES NO SENSE, YOU CANNOT EVEN UNDO IT WHAT FAGGOT TESTED YOUR UI WHILE BEEING HIGH ON REDMOND DIRT. AND WHICH KIND OF MASTURBATING MONKEY IMPLEMENTED THIS SHIT.8
-
Anyone looking to make an investment.
Even headlines should be tested before release 😓. This clickbait thing has made it's way into articles as well. It says just the opposite in the article.
3 -
When your website is tested after months of efforts and then tons of bugs come up....
Gonna fix each of it..
Y am such a poor developer.. !!!! 😖😞2 -
Auto tuning for Azure SQL databases is cool but :
DON’T allow it to automatically drop indexes ! (My bad, I should’ve tested that before)
It dropped one of the most used indexes in the DB. Yep, just like that. 150+ timeout exceptions and customers going crazy4 -
Ok, a customer came to us saying he had a product that is just randomly rebooting. It sure must be a software issue.
I got the task and worked my way through ~10k lines of assembly code (8085 processor on board) Weeks go by, i tested every single god damn funktion they had, analyzed every vector they put in, finding NOTHING...
Meanwhile the hardware department analyzed and tested some possible culprits on the product for me. I had NO idea what the problem could be...
Then hardware department said: oh, they forgot a resistor on the FUCKIN RESET PIN OF THE PROCESSOR!!!!!
fml...5 -
I fucking hate when people think they can do a better job not using a well tested library.
And then try justify why their code is better and quicker than using a library.1 -
May interest a few people on here: https://security.infoteam.ch/en/...
(note I'm not affiliated with them nor have I tested the product, so don't ask me about that, I just found the read interesting) -
lets just wait till the day before deploy to finally authorize api testing for users outside of the network - and then get super upset when we aren't adjusted, prepared, and tested in time for next-day deployment
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How are you supposed to fix bugs in your program where:
1. it has been investigated before and was not found how to reproduce it
2. it cannot be tested at all
3. never happens on the test environment
fml19 -
Sometimes I look at my co-worker's code and want to vomit. My poor eyes. Also loves to tell me something should work and hasn't tested it...2
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So, I am building this UI library / component system for VueJS and finally finished the first "real" component: button...
I don't want to share the link yet, because I was lazy that this component is still not tested, but hopefully I will get to it...
What do you guys think?
Full image: https://imgur.com/0kRHBln
2 -
Wrote code, tested it, and pushed to production for the first time in 3 months.
Great {diety} in {afterLifeLocation} it felt so goooooood to get back to developing. -
Dev: can you please merge this to master?
DevOps: ok
Dev: thx
QA: wait... Who tested this?
Dev: oh it works, it was tested...
QA: by qa?
Dev: ... <Dev2> tested (sitting right next to him)
QA: ...amIAJokeToYou.jpg6 -
Anyone who formats their code manually is a fuck there I said it.
Also stop using a tool that has no contextual understanding of your code. You're wasting more so much fucking time trying to guess shit that an ide would automatically know and doing stuff that an ide would automatically do.4 -
FUCKING FUCK, I have been working on a school project I planned to give up but finally I gave it some more days and I got it working. But the program that should correct me didn't have a fucking include I forgot in my code and I got "The build failed, your project couldn't be tested" so it's 01
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Sick of fucking working with 'engineers' who cannot see that the piece of shit application that they have written is not 'done' until it has been tested. No it is not production fucking ready you fucking yes man.
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Someone else hates his notebook because of the fucking low battery capacity? From 100% to 7% in about 40 minutes and all I did was editing a Python script and tested it using the bash..
Can't wait until I get my new laptop3 -
Had one of those unicorn coding moments where my from-scratch code worked the first time I wrote and tested it. That hasn’t happened in a long time.
-
Monday morning server dmesg error before coffee be like : Buffer I/O error on dev sdb ...
Before my coffee...
Oh I am surely being tested here ...
-
My top 3 open source projects are :
KDE ❤️❤️❤️❤️
Libinput gestures (allows you to do custom actions with your touchpad)
Strapi (Wich is a nodejs headless cms that gets the job done very quickly I haven't tested it in prod tho)1 -
Tested site with 🌘Chrome, 🌋Firefox and 🌐Safari, so far so good.. 👌
Time to pray to Microsoft gods before testing with ☠️IE11 & Edge6 -
Public Service Announcement;
Test your shit!
That will be all!
Source: https://dev.to/stealthmusic/...
1 -
I have a mantra: don't get too attached to the shit you build
That mantra is about to be thoroughly tested - we might be just about to trash one year worth of work coz the 3rd party we were working with doesn't look like they'll be able handle our load2 -
Me: Where is your unit tests?
Dev: I tested manually and it worked.
Me: What if there are changes to the code in future?
Dev: We'll manually retest the implementation. It'll be fine.
*flip table*1 -
My keybo§rd is broken. I tested it on two different m§chines, ch§nged keybo§rd l§yout, tried to cle§n it up, but no luck. Left side of 2wsx keys is completly useless. I'm so dis§ppointed@@@ ( @ used to be excl§m§tion m§rk :( )3
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Developed an update to our database procedures and tested it with local copy. After a few days everything was ready. Opened our server and started the update. After a couple of rows an error occurred. Turns out our production db is older version and does not support some syntax I used. It became a bit longer day at work...
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!rant :) FUUUUUUUUDGE YEAAAAH!
it's so satisfying when you've been working on a huge ass thing(when maybe you should have tested individual parts) and it just fucking works as intended amazing, I love it!
It's so beautiful to see your own compiler(jk just scanner+parser atm) compile code successfully -
What the fuck? Been trying to see rants all day long at work and at home and DevRant was super weird as if I wasnt connected, which I was...
Tested jsrant.com and the api was working...
Connected to a VPN on digital ocean and everything works flawlessly, dinconected from VPN and DevRant is off again...
Now on VPN... Wtf...5 -
Working on a bug that in my opinion never worked. “Sr. Dev” dares to say the function has worked before. I’m a 100% sure it never did.
“Yes but everything is being tested before we go live.”
Dude, we have a monkey testing our stuff are you serious!?3 -
Tested out parcel.js as webpack replacement and wasted 3 hours because of a missing sourcemap reference at the end of the bundled file. It was not parcels fault, but dear author of parcel-vue-plugin never again override one of parcels core file you fucker or i'll chop of your genitals with a rusty knife.2
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"You are fired!"
Is what I wanted to sent to all clients and third parties involved in the project. Stop making your problems my problems. My systems are ready, properly tested and well documented. Stop changing the requirements and stop adding requirements until you are sending valid requests to my API.1 -
Spent a day debugging low volume of audio record
Just now found a cause of issue
And it was
*drums*
Hardware fault
Mic in my OP5T is nearly dead after I dropped it recently
For fucks sake, why I didn't tested it in the first place10 -
Does anyone actually fucking know how certs and provisioning profiles work for large iOS teams without using the cancerous auto provision checkbox? Are we all just fucking it up all the time??3
-
does anyone diet here to increase productivity? any productivity tips? I could have googled this but I need "tried and tested". I need ideas.
I've been feeling strange for some weeks now8 -
God, I love when I just want to contribute a little to a project, but the maintainer doesn't seem to have tested the setup once ..
Guess I will search for something else then .. -
Told some Devs today, "I've given you information on how to start testing. Java is easy to test. I've explained why it's important. Now, if the next change you make isn't tested, that's a choice. If you make that choice, please consider other places of employment."
So tired of lazy.10 -
Updated Visual Studio and now my Xamarin app can't post the login and register credentials anymore. My server api is working, I tested with postman. Can't find any help online and I'm fucking done!
-
I had a bug in my code, I was sure I fixed it but when I tested it nothing was charged. I asked my friend to take a look, and when he looked over my code I found out what the problem was: I tested with the older version.
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Its funny when your code is tested by your peers and they approve it and it works...and when you present your progress to your PO he says it doesnt work...hmmmmm1
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Love it when a teammate goes on vacation before a release and maintaining their shitty non-tested code becomes my responsibility. Of course that’s in addition to completing my own tasks!1
-
Apparently marketing departments of Headspace are like us developers.
This is the final version. *bug*
I MEAN THIS IS THE FINAL VERSION. *bug*
Now this is truthfully validated tested final version!
-
Working on complex invoicing systems. For once, the code is clear, elegant, readable and unit-tested... but I keep forgetting how reality works. If only tax laws were self-documenting.
-
Every programmer uses a framework. It's either someone else's standardized, tested, & well documented framework, or its one you start writing just for this project.
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I worked for a month in an ionic app without having any idea about frontend develop cuz my boss needed it quick and now that its done he doesnt even tested it out1
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I'm literally one junior developer building a front end stack for a company that uses the waterfall method of building shit...
My application has not been fully tested and none of the real user base has actually tested it. I have no clue what potential egde cases exist in my application. I did as much testing as possible but it's keeping me on edge that there is potentially something broken lurking underneath that I don't know about.
If it is broken it's all erupting into flames and there's nothing I can do about it because the application will have to go through a whole beuacratic process to allowed to be fixed.3 -
Nobody can stop me from deploying an incompletely tested PHP website. If something doesn't work, blame PHP because this abomination shouldn't allow to run shitty code anyway.2
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What are your thoughts on documenting developer (local/dev) functional testing? Should we be trusted that we've tested our shit and it works? Or should we provide proof? Are we better to provide proof to protect ourselves?3
-
When I was working on my dissertation project. I was implementing a video sharing platform. Using Dropwizard for REST. I wrote the entire endpoint for uploading a video in one session. I was just taking a stab at how i thought it could work. Tested it in Postman expecting to get some kind of error.
And it worked first time. -
did on my last project:
1 .Using QA env as dev env
2. Deploy in production not completely tested stuff (90% tested)
3. Run with errors in prod
4. Manual fix in prod
5. Git versioning1 -
I literally can't believe that your project even runs without this technology I just learned about yesterday
-
My oppo has just copied and pasted a block of code in the top of all the controllers. He swears he tested it, but theirs a semi colon missing, and and its fed the wrong object as an argument. Internal seething intensifies.1
-
Anyone that has careless coworkers on a common project? Like my stuff is ready, working and tested, meanwhile many are still scratching their heads on why their code doesn't work.
//we are a group of internship workers2 -
Google's Testmysite is piece of shit.
Tested website got 6-7 sec, then built Mobile page and set redirection for mobile users.
Tested Mobile page got around 3-4 sec then tested homepage (which just redirect Mobile user to mobile page) it got fcking 6-7 seconds
FCK you Google, page redirection should not be considered in YOUR FCKING speedtest.10 -
I'm building an app with Cordova and everything was working great, tested on multiple devices and everything worked perfectly. Until my boss called me to say that some interfaces don't work on his phone. Needless to say Android 4.3 doesn't like the "new" syntax of flex and just tells me that I can fuck off. Well Android fuck off too.2
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It's the third time in two weeks that I've updated something and caused it to break. Different packages and different projects each time. Each time I've updated at night and tested it and made sure everything was okay only to be woken up in the morning by complaining customers and a newfound bug. Better lay off the updates for now.5
-
Today I found a small toy project in JS I was working on 2 years ago for few weeks. CQRS, fully tested, with IA simulating human behaviour and a benchmarking system... I wonder how much free time I had back then1
-
The longer I go at this job, the more I feel unqualified to be doing it!
My boss is giving all these really fascinating ideas and things to get done... but he's not really describing it well on how to do it... just to do it. My creativity is being tested...2 -
Me to my team: demo to the client is postponed, we'll show it the day after tomorrow.
Them: nice, then we can put in production also the new feature xyz.
Me: mmm... Is it tested and everything ok? Then yes, let's deploy it.
Bad decision. Now everything is not working. Rollback needed!2 -
Why write tests for frontend when I can clearly see it works......I mean, c'mon, the like button is incrementing....this button doesn't like been tested (T-T)10
-
I'm starting to realize that maybe the issue with my team is that they don't know how to break down complex problems into smaller parts that can be completed, tested one by one, allowing you to create save points.
To them it's either all or nothing... And once they're done, they cannot explain what they did other than it works..2 -
Tfw you find a comment saying something needs to be tested when the system is in prod.
Narrator: they did in fact not test it when the system was in production -
The world must truly hate me.
I refactored my code a lot in order to easily integrate different APIs endpoints but then I can't use the one I specifically did this for, because of TLS errors.
My browsers all agree that it's fine, but curl and the 2 http libraries I tested can't fetxh any data.
END ME!9 -
So I get it is a trying time right now as most people continue to adapt to a physical distancing world. But it is so frustrating that some teachers can't figure out how to start a video meeting 😑
Makes it really hard to be tested on lectures you can't watch.
Also WebEx sucks! -
Tell client we need to add an hour to the budget to test, QA, and proof account/password emails to be sent to over 2000 customers.
They say they tested it and to send now.
Charge them for an additional four hours to test, QA, and proof apology emails because client's api was sending broken passwords.1 -
There's nothing quite like an app force closing for no apparent reason, and no error log info.
Just spent an hour figuring out that one of the device I test on doesn't like linking GLSL shader programs if it contains a loop even know every other devices I've tested on are totally fine with it. 😑 -
PR (tested)
-- if(a){ x(); }
++ if(a && b(x)){ x(); )
Reviewer: what if a'?
Me-think: but da'/dx not defined, :'(4 -
Trying to install Linux off of a USB drive when motherboard flips put during boot mode and boots back into windows saying that it is not secure. Even though I've tested this drive and installed Linux on other computers. ugh1
-
Spent almost a month writing real time sync between two platforms for client. Changed it n times to fit their custom conditions. They tested it for real time sync.
Now suddenly their requirement is to have scheduled sync and it is "As we discussed in the beginning".1 -
Interested if anyone has done a risk assessment with the AWS outage (or other cloud hosts) in scope and contingency strategies in place and tested. A+ if you did 👍
No, going to the pub does not count as a viable strategy but probably a popular one. -
That realization that you have a memory leak that invalidates all of your previous performance testing1
-
Well,
I went ahead and tested t2.micro and lambda+dynamo(free tier)
You definitely get better performance and load handing with lambda+dynamo (5rcu+5wcu)
Tested the two with wrk and a simple GET which reads an item from a database of 90k items.
I could share more details with you if youre interested, but with 2000 requests, 100 connections and 4 threads. I got about 26requests/s on ec2 and about 260r/s on lambda.
Latency for ec2 was about 28s.
Latency for lambda was about 22s.
(max load)7 -
So yesterday and before school, I tried to make a little count down thingo that shows time left until the class ends with js. Earlier this morning I tested it and well
If a countdown timer counts up then I guess it works...
Well that was interesting. -
Test engineers not even checking their tests and logs..... Just straight up sending a trouble report. Then I have to waste one hour checking the log and lo and behold their tests do not even work to trigger the behaviour that's supposed to be tested. Morons.
-
The 5 step process to my average day:
1. Client doesn't want to pay for an admin dashboard that can be tested
2. Client wants to us to make ad hoc changes to the data in the production database
3. Client wants things done quickly without testing
4. Client complains when things go wrong
5. Me: (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻2 -
Question I ask myself : does jUnit is tested with jUnit? What if there is a bug? How to know if the bug is from the framework or the tests cases :o10
-
Soo me and a couple of local devs decided to build out own chat app for our decisions
No one wanted to take the project so worked my ass off for 2 &1/2months
Only one guy tested the danm thing
Now its just floating online half done
WTF10 -
I was trying to set up my own "cloud" for iot experiments. I planned to use Intel Edison with mqtt broker (using mosca) and a node js app for providing API for mobiles and browser. And also to do other book keeping.
I spent the half day trying figure how to expose these servers to internet.
I configured ddns in noip.com and ddns settings configured to it in my router.
Port forwarded to the local server services I needed.
And then tested. Worked perfectly on any device in my router connected network. Tested on mobile network. Bam! It fucking doesn't work.
Then connected another router.
Double port forwarded. Again worked perfectly on router network. And failed on mobile.
Tested if ddns is right. Did nslookup it was fine as fuck.
Then disabled port forwarding. Did dmz. Nope. Nadda. No luck.
Then scratched my head so hard that I lost more already losing hairs.
Then remembered about router hardware firewall. Disabled it.
Tested
And there it didn't work.
My dreams shattered like a fucking deer hit by car on highway.
Didn't work.
Then I see the IP pointing to my router in nslookup. Its 172.20.xx.xx. Its a fucking private IP.
My Asshole ISP is running another private network behind firewall. Which I fucking can't port forward
Now I think how much of a noob and idiot I am. Fuck this shit. Fuck all of these shit.
I am going for SaaS option for mqtt broker.
(Or help me?)
Once again.
Asshole ISP.
Fuck your firewall.
(PS: I had test the next day. FML)2 -
Holy shit. Do NOT open a Wells Fargo banking account. On top of their ridiculous password limitations, your password is NOT CASE SENSITIVE. I tested. Caps lock, no caps, a mix, it doesn't matter.
More info on the password limitations at my other rant https://devrant.io/rants/905148/...3 -
JetBrains' IDEA. For being smart and integrated out of the box.
Mercurial + hg-git + MutableHistory. Like Git, but actually works and doesn't speak gibberish.
Fish shell. For leaving 80s in peace.
openSUSE Tumbleweed. For actually tested up-to-date software.
GNOME. For actually trying to improve UX. -
Added new function to my Android app, tested for an hour. It was ok --> git push.
After some time the function doesn't work anymore... -
Ok so my newest project is launching tonight and I feel very anxious, even though I tested everything beforehand. Is it normal?4
-
This simple task will finish in the next 10 minutes I thought...
4 hours later it is just in workable condition and still needs to be tested for bugs...🥺 -
Best tools/guides to setup a pipeline for C# applications that need to be built tested and ran on windows and linux?1
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In my head: Look man, I'm not saying you're lying. I just need examples of these reported failures. Call times, caller IDs, etc. I am trying to track this issue for you, but we've had no failures, and the call samples you provided show that the calls went through. We've tested the calls and they went through. You tested the call with your cell and it went through. Can you please provide examples of failures? That's what I need to help you. I'm not calling you a liar. Oh, and by the way, GO FUCK YOURSELF!
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So I currently work at my first job and have for 2 years now. First project I had was to redesign a user info set up page. Didn't know any of the languages so kinda had to just wing it. Anyway finally committed my code and tested on dev server. Then code pushed to production and tested there. Then I saw a message from one of the top devs saying nobody could login. I replied saying that I was able to. Well, I actually ended up making it to where no one could log in except me. I learned real quick to never fuck up like that again. Surprised I wasn't fired on the spot.1
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Used to get really mad at the testing team every time before a production deploy. They only tested the developments that same day, and still I wasn't sure they did a good job. Sometimes they asked for an extra "feature", so we entered into speed-coding mode. Got used to it.1
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I really need help. We are doing some interface files, something like C header files and configurations.
Management is aware of the "unittesting" buzz words and expects me to write unit tests on "header" and configuration files....
I tried to explain that there are no units to be tested, asked which units should be tested but in the end....
What does it actually mean to test definitions of structures, classes and methods?!3 -
When someone does a not-very-thorough mass rename but doesn't check if it causes problems in already tested sections.1
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What is the best approach for Continuous Integration / Continuous Delivery/Deployment? I'm using SVN as code repository and I need to identify the files that goes to Test/QA env. and the ones that goes do Prod env. (by Commit message or something else) via sFTP.
Any help would be appreciated. Already tested Jenkins, GoCD and Jetbrains Teamcity.1 -
There is no dedicated test team In the corporate our company outsources developers to.. so whatever the developers don't test themselves (and developers are poor testers for their own product) is then tested on... production? FML.. oh yeah and the quality of the bugreports - that's yet another story..
-
There are exactly zero developer driven features in osx, sans the terminal. Can anyone disagree? It is the least developer friendly os there is.1
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We were developing a new feature and on the code complete day, I had to take leave. While code review one of the devs changed my code without proper analysis.
End Result, half the things cannot be tested until that piece of code is fixed1 -
So in regards to my last post, built up the app some more all tested, working locally. Pushed to heroku, envs set, add-ons added only MongoLab and sendgrid. Go to test, 422 errors on POST requests and JSON parse errors.
Why? How? What? 😂4 -
Super random question 😄
Anybody know of a nice way of running tests for my NPM library but with Deno? So like I've tested manually it with Deno and it works, but I want to include it in my test suite in GitHub Actions. Feels tricky as I probably can't use Jest, so then I'll have to rewrite the tests in Deno...3 -
It is really really really sad, when you tried to make a complex thing work in many days. When you tested, it was working amazingly. When you were about to finalize delivery after one week, it fucked and stopped working. Now either you fix it, or find another BLOODY algorithm! 😠
-
We are suppose finish current project by the end of this month.
We are right on the schedule, BUT code wasn't properly tested... We are still awaiting testing environment... I predicts a lot overtime at the last week before handing it over :(1 -
Just built tested and pushed to production a website based on an injoke. On a Friday. Why am I like this.
-
Why are some devs so insistent on doing a change one way when another works perfectly fine, is readable and maintainable and properly tested11
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Level of anxiety = ((Size of the programming project code)^2) * (100 - Percentage of the tested code in project)2
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Modified stuff on production server without checking documentation, because I was cocky and tought that I remembered everything. The worst thing is, that right after that I took a lunch break and only realised what have I done after that. For an hour or so anyone who opened our app experienced an instant crash...
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Finally implemented my first ANN in my own environment (my own Virus Game). That feeling when have tested everything and it works, so you can just relax and put your feet up and. <3
-
Gahhhh.... This side project I have been working on for the past 3 months is basically finished. However, the production build of the project seems to be breaking a key read abstracion I built. God damm it.
Can't blame anyone but me, because I should have tested this on production months ago!! -
Any suggestions on android data recovery ??
The device is not rooted and there weren't any backups.
I have already tested different paid (cracked) software on another device for testing purpose but none of them work.
Send Help!!7 -
Hello guys, Did you know how to build a PHP development enviroment for a low spec laptop?
Well, low spec laptop I mean:
CPU: AMD E2 quad Core 1,5
RAM:4 GB
I switched from w10 because it was so laggy, Im currently using Xubuntu
I tested virtual machines bit also it was so laggy too
PD: have a good day :)6 -
That moment just before release to production where you've tested it a thousand times and suddenly encounter a couple of bugs.
-
Just got tested on Angular 4 stuff for a remote dev positions.
I fucking hate lazy recruiters that test you on old sh*t.2 -
You may not enter a flamewar if you haven't tested the options for at least a year.
Emacs vs vim? Not reeeeally used both? You're out.
Allman vs 1TBS? Same.
Which OS?...7 -
Fixed the bug tested multiple times the build. When uploaded on stage not working. Debugging, debugging ... i forgot to push.. blah
-
Have the developpers from Microsoft who made the new version of Outlook.com even tested their product on smartphones ? I can't delete my mails from the mobile version and everything take years to make -_-"3
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task: building classes for "yes, everything done and tested, okay"-API-Request1
result: the undocumented shit is broken, what a surprise.
alt.task: classes for request2
result: there is no controller named "ABC"
-.-*** -
As a developer on the job market, would you rather have a technical assessment like one of those algorithms tests on Codility and other platforms ? Or would you prefer to be tested by building a little project actually related to what you’d be doing on a daily basis if hired?3
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Google is all about bringing new features, which are normally good ideas. But did why don't make what they already have?
You are normally operating with a beta tested base and some new alpha feature. -
I fucking hate HP UFT a test "IDE" that needs to be tested itself..before thinking of selling it to organizations to help them test their software..awfull crash crappy bitch ass tool I just hate it and what's even worse is that I'm using it to test an eclipse rcp application...feeling a bit better now.
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It's not a matter of simply "unlocking it". It's a bug that needs to be researched, fixed, tested, and released.
-
I just compiled a code.
no any compile error at first compile !
I tested all inputs and outputs, everything is correct !
Am I sleeping ? -
In Flutter Why this keep prompting to me
"'package:flutter/src/widgets/text.dart':
Failed assertion: line 378 pos 10: 'data != null'"
I tested it the value is not Null and i tried flutter clean nothing change -
Don't you hate it when you think you have the situation under control, you had tested and checked every edge case which you can think of, then you added and double tested some fresh undetected cases from colleagues, QA, project managers and even some of the higher ups, and then when you... [read more]5
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.net js developer for just over a decade. What other backend language/framework should I learn to get a cool job in sf
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Has anyone here built a functioning blockchain from scratch? I’ve been poking around looking for resources, preferably eBooks, but hoping to find some that have been road tested. Language/technology neutral; more interested in the quality of the guide and result.
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