Things I've learned throughout my 5 - 6 years as a programmer.
- StackOverflow is full of assholes.
- CMS's are for weaklings.
- The best feeling about waking up in the morning is figuring out how to solve that error in your code.
- You no longer think about normal people things. Your mind is full of code.
- You're practically a computer.
- ALWAYS backup and save your stuff or you WILL regret it. Enable autosave if possible.
- RIP your social life (if your friends don't know squat about programming)
- Darkness is better.
- Being a programmer is amazing.

HTML: Hate This Meaningless Life
CSS: Can't Style Shit
JS: Just Shit
Java: Just another vicious asshole
PHP: PHP Hates People
Go: (the "fuck yourself" is silent)
.NET: Now Everybody Thinks (they can code)

I really should find a more productive thing to do on my breaks.

Not that much dev-related, but still...

I wish I had a way of decompiling the code of my life, correcting it and then compiling it. I was diagnosed with Depression yesterday and it has turned me absolutely empty. The kind of empty where you feel like you're a void.

I'll survive. I know that much. I also know that it's going to be even harder than it was before.

Just for lighting the mood. This is also my struggle.

How it usually goes:
1. Have an idea
2. Do about 3 of those things:
- sketch out a few diagramms of how it would work
- think of a name and buy the url
- estimate what you would have to buy and what it would cost
- make a project folder
- lean back, imagine life after the idea made you rich and famous
- write about 2% of the required code
3. Get distracted or don't have time to work on thr idea
4. Have new idea, repeat from 1

>Building advertising platform
>Life is good
>Fire up the dev server and open in browser
>No assets
>What the fuck
>Check code and config for like an hour it's all good
>What the fuck
>Try incognito browser, it works.
>What the fuck
>Oh yeah. Adblock. Fuck.

On Friday I deployed to a life site without going through code review or any testing whatsoever. I am now known around the office as 'Billy the Kid'.

Is this the code life
Another scrum meeting
Caught in the the Node life
No escape from reality
Open your eyes
Look up to the screens and see..
I'm just a dev boy
Doing some debugging
Because there's warnings here
Errors there
Segment faults
Everywhere
Anytime you distract
Takes another hour from me
From me

*piano starts

Mama. Just committed a bug
Merge the branch to production
Did it fast for milestones
Mama. The repo has just begun
But now they going to throw the stack away.
Mama. U u u uu
Didn't mean to code in LAMP
But it's the only stack i know how to setup
In Ubuntu. Without docker
I really don't get vagrant

*piano

It's too late
My team is done
Some dev is working in Nepal
A UX dev. Now what is that?
Goodbye everybody
I've got to go
Gotta leave this lame meeting
And face the truth
Oh nooooo. I i interns
(they have questions)
I want to debug
I don't want to stay till 3 in the morning

*epic guitar

I see a litlle dev over there
Let's code review, let's code review
Did he do the last commit?
Coding in the white board
Very very frightening me
That's bug(that's a bug)
That's a bug (that's a bug)
What the f*ck did you do that?
Magnificcooooooo

I was just coding and nobody liked it
He was coding and nobody liked it, spare his some time to do his debugging

Easy man. Here go. Will you let me code?
A meeting. No,we will not let you code. ( let me code)
A meeting. we will not let you code. ( let me code)
A meeting. we will not let you code. ( let me code)
We will not let you code
Never never let you go
Never let you code, oh
No no no no no no no
Oh mama mia, mama mia ( dude, you've gotta let me code)
Screw you guys, I'm gonna code and commit. Commit. Comiiiiitt!

*epic guitar

So you think you can review me and spit in my eye?
So you think you can dump me and erase my branch?
Oh baby, cant do this to me baby
I've just have to log out.
I've just have to log outta here

*epic guitar solo

Nothing really matters
The users will not care
Nothing really matters
To them

Any way this code blows

Me (5 days ago): A major, life-threatening hurricane is coming. I need to prepare. I know you have a need to launch so I will do my best to finish your project.

Client: Ok, stay safe.

Client (today): I know you're not done. You're late actually. To provoke you into further action, we went ahead and announced the launch and people will begin using the website now.

Me (at the store buying food for the next two week): What in the actual ... Here is your code. Finish it yourself. May God have mercy on your cold, dark soul.

woke up at 5am

no alarm clock was required

my fucking passion woke me up to get up and code.

i coded outside in my backyard

felt like cold war

it was night

it was dark

a depressing horror atmosphere

just like my whole life

2 hours later i started seeing sun

it was cold outside. alone. in the dark. my arms were freezing.

but 2 hours later i managed to code the feature. it worked.

3 hours have passed. im ripped. quentally.

doing it here. inside now. started the day happy. dropped bullshit from day before. cleanser of all toxicss.

fuck the past. the past will pull you down and kill you.

this. remember. always do not forget.

Coworker: "Hey do you have 30 minutes? We should debug my broken code together."

Me: *slightly interested in the project he's working on* "Sure, let's do it."

Coworker: *explains the problem for 10 mins*

Me: "Maybe--"

Coworker: "OH here's the problem!" *type type type* *git commit -am 'Fixed'* "Done."

Me: *wants 10 minutes of life back*

You are the CSS to my HTML,
You make my life so beautiful.

You are the JavaScript to my code,
You make my life to be so dynamic and full of life.

You are the OS in my life,
Without you, am useless

You are the C: to my brain,
Without you am nothing.

You are the stack overflow to my problems,
I run to you for solutions.

To be continued.....

So I found myself explaining to my rubber duck all the things I've done wrong in my past relationships...

What? It's a great guy, I shouldn't limit it just to code issues, I have a life it could fix too

You think a junior dev pushing his code onto a production server is bad? Wait till you have that admin who is illegally mining Bitcoin on your production server. 😂

I went for a Cyber Security conference today with one of managers and this was one of the life experiences some of the speakers shared.

The longer you code, the darker your IDE becomes. #000000 for life

!!fml

"Root, go fix this bug. It'll take you two days."

The "bug" is a feature that was never implemented for one particular payment type.

The code in question is two years old, full of typos, smells, junior-isms, and is convoluted AF. The feature's commit touched 190 files and implemented many other features as well. Thus far, I have been unable to narrow down where this particular feature's code lives for the other payment types, nor which code or payment paths lead to it. Burned out, I can barely focus on the screen, let alone follow its many twisting and dynamically-inferred paths. I hint as to the ticket's scavenger hunt nature during standup.

"But I wrote comments on the ticket telling you exactly where to look to fix it," Thundercunt admonishes in front of the team.

"Sure, you did," Root replies. "You reworded what the original dev had said in the comments 20 minutes prior, and agreed with him. His comments were helpful, but it doesn't tell me how any of it works," she continues.

TC scoffs and closes the meeting.

Root stares blankly, seeing neither code nor screen, questions her life decisions, and recalls the previous tickets she has worked on: nearly every one of them busywork, fixing other people's bugs. Bugs she never could have gotten away with if she tried.

"Why do I put up with this?" She asks. "They don't care, and it's killing me."

But the bills remain, and so must she.

"Fuck my life" she finally decides.

Life would be much easier if i had the source code!

I am a hobby programmer. I just got rejected by the biggest crush of my life. I guess I'm stuck with my stupid wothless fucking life writing code. How fucking exciting....

Stallman heart failure recipe:

1. Start your UBUNTU LINUX(don't add the GNU part) and set up your .NET Core environment.

2. Download VS Code, the superior text editor for those that do not wish to have carpal tunnel.

3. Open the terminal inside your VS Code instance while inside a .net core project.

4. Type emacs -nw and watch emacs come to life inside of the terminal while living inside of the heretic vs code editor.

Wait for stallman to get a heart attack or a stroke from this.

The main reason I'll stick to development as a career for the rest of my life is the freedom.

I can have a 3 hour long lunch with my girlfriend, I can write code at 2am, and usually I can leave for short holidays with just a few days notice.

That freedom is saving the little bits of social life I have.

Whenever I feel bad, I go and help random people with their code.

I also randomly offer to help teach people Java so that they can learn best practice and perhaps not make the same small mistakes.

Such is life. My method of coping with sadness.

Me: I don't spend the prime of my life watching series, I code, I develope, I learn

* Discovers Silicon Valley *

😓

Don't develop depression, develop a personality instead, be more outgoing and outspoken, work out, dress better and make your life shit that goes beyond coding.

Tired of people in tech being this way. Everyone acts as if monkeying away on the keyboard makes them some sort of autistic genius that is too good for everyone else.

Some of you have the social skillset of a fucking potato.

You code dude. Most of you develop websites...chill the fuck out.

Whoever thinks that coding is easy.

Fuck you motherfucker stupid chicken head nugget sized brain faggots. You think all we do is smash keyboards in front of our screen and it poops code and creates beautiful applications? Fuck you in particular.

One of my friend says sitting on computer for whole day is the easiest thing. What the fuck motherfucker.
One fucking string can fuck your life forever. Innumerable hours will be wasted behind one simple fucked up logic. And u shithead say its easy.
Get into my shoes and let me bang your head on the keyboard and we will see how beautifully it poops code.

Stupid people.

Me everyday:
1- Get excited to start coding
2- Start coding
3- Run code
4- Bug found
5- Start debugging
6- Start feeling frustrating
7- Start questioning myself about career
8- Start hating life
9- Start banging head against the wall
10- Start looking for a different job
11- Oh shit! It was a typo
12- Go back to number 1

Coding completely changed my life. After roughly 8 years in construction management, and one rough divorce, I decided my life needed a change, so I dropped my high paying construction job and learned web development. 3 years later learning to code was the 2nd best decision I ever made (1st was to get a divorce)

I wish i could code for 8 hours straight instead of getting interrupted every 20mins. That would be the life

3 years, part time, $0.

I used to volunteer my time to an old text based rpg, handling code changes, sysadmin maintenance and the likes - back when those were a thing in the mid 2000's and money wasn't my issue in life - free for them, experience for me - win win!

Was something to get my hands dirty back in the day and contribute to an active community, but since then that place has shut down and been disbanded.

Tried to modify a script again which pretty much installs a ready to use vpn server on a server.

Tried to modify it so that it takes arguments instead of manual input.

It is, fucking, yet again, quitting right after an apt install command.

Error exit code? Oh no, a perfectly fine fucking 0. Which means it ran successfully.

Successfully my fucking ass. You aren't even through half the motherfucking script!?

Fucking hell. Fuck my life sideways.

Spoke to a programmering student who insists on writing his Java and python code in PARAGRAPH format, like an essay (the teachers do not teach this). Tried to explain why this is a bad idea. He explains to me that if others can't read his code that it is their problem and that he would never make a silly syntax error like missing a semicolon or a bracket. Called me stupid and walked off.

Life will be hard for him.

I code, watch Big Bang Theory, sip coffee, and code again. I never leave the doorsteps except for my classes. Some say my life is sad.

Is it? Anyone out there like this?

> make a change
> PR gets rejected
> IHATEFORALIVING! YOUR CHANGE IS NOT WORKING! EVERYTHING BREAKS!
> 3 hours long debugging session
> We find out a whole bunch of bugs
> Suddenly, everything works
> None of the bugs had ANYTHING to do with my change. In the instances where the app broke, my code wasn't even being called at all.
> My change was literally the one and only working thing

I wish life was like in The Office, when you just stop what you're doing and you drop the Jim stare at some camera

So I am running this crypto project that has dynamically generated private keys for a wallet stored in a Redis database. Nowhere else. The keys are generated on the fly.

At the moment of the happening the wallet had over 3.000 USD on it. I am testing new code locally, supposedly on a local Redis DB. Of a sudden, my code wipes the crypto keys and it turns out that I was connected to the live instance. 😱 Better don't ask me how.

Shock of my life. You know, when you turn pale and dark in your eyes, blood stops in your veins and you just want to die? Worst-case scenario that could have happened. All that money lost in crypto space.

Turns out, my good Redis hosting company kept backups for the past 7 days. Keys restored. Happiest moment of my life.

Manager: Hi, here is component X with 200k lines of code. Can you go through the code and see if you can implement component Y using component X?

Me: What does component X do?

Manager: I don't know.

Me: Is there a design docs for it?

Manager: I don't know. Can you check? Let me know when it is done.

*Wondering if I should joke and say "Oh management, hard job huh?"*

*Remembering how life is fucked up unfair and I need food to survive and house to live in and follow the society's rules and work hard to make the rich richer and shove money into their fat belly of greed...*

Me: OK.

I joined a "multi-national" company in middle-east where 90% of the developers are Indian. And since it's a "multi-national" company with 50+ developers I thought they already figured it out. Most of them have 5-10 years of experience. They should know at least how to use git properly, deployment should be done via CI/CD. database changes should be run via migration script. Agile methodology, Code Review - Pull Request. Unit testing. Design Patterns, Clean Code Principle. etc etc

I thought I'm gonna learn new things here. I have never been so wrong in all my life...

Technical Manager doesn't even know what Pull Request is. They started developing the software 4 years ago but used Yii v1 instead which was released almost a decade ago. They combined it with a VueJS where in some files contains around 4000 lines of code. Some PHP functions contain 500+ of code. No proper indentions as well. The web console is bloody red with javascript errors. In short, it's the worst code I've seen so far.

No wonder why they keep receiving complaints from their 30+ clients.

Constant battle of choosing self care over the code life.

When no one told you that being a software engineer would entail putting up with other peoples shitty code for the rest of your life

When you code a bunch of stuff while horribly stoned, and the next day it all still works really well, but you cannot for the life of you figure out how or even why it works.

PM: hows the android app going?
Android Dev: gradle downloading... blocked by network admin.

PM: anyway how is the iOS app going?
iOS Dev: cocoapods downloading... blocked by network admin.

PM: ... i guess the only thing running now is the web admin right?
Laravel/VueJS Dev: composer nodejs/npm/yarn downloading... blocked by network admin.

PM: team lets retest the api endponts
Team: Postman downloading... blocked by network admin.
Team: -_- Insomnia REST Client downloading... blocked by network admin.

PM: code study?
Team: even visual studio code/android studio/xcode is blocked. :(

.... sad dev life

anyone here with the same problem?

Life would be much easier if I had the source code.

That moment when the you actually think that this huge refactoring isn't worth it, but you do it anyway so you can live with yourself...
Code quality is love. Code quality is life.

When the last dev wrote code and you dared to read it....switch on a Boolean, what even is your life legacy dev?

A day in the life of BoyBiscuit.

PM: Please zip up any local changes and push them to a temp folder on the repo and I will manually check to see what you have changed.
Me: *glaring at the download as zip button*

PM: Who broke the repo?
Me: *checks commit history*
Commit History: *last commit PM*

Me: Could you add the files to your commit before pushing because you've only pushed changes on tracked files.
PM: No not possible, I did 'commit -a'.
Me: ....

PM: Could you all delete your forks so that It isn't anywhere on the web
US: but it's private with only us as collaborators
PM: No because I can see it
Me: srysly?

PM: Could everyone try to write more effective code?
Me: Looks at his code
Code: Boolean b = getbooleanVal ? True : False;

Tl;Dr: PM doesn't know anything about git or working as a team.

See you tomorrow!

Just tested my GPU code vs my non-GPU code.

Its a simple game of life implementation. My test is on a 80 x 40 grid running for 100,000 cycles.

The normal code took 117 seconds.
The CUDA code took 2 seconds.

Holy fuck this is terrifying.

Programmer Influencers piss me off to Jupiter and back.

The ones who talk about just being a programmer, and don't do normal tutorials and solve a real-world problem and demonstrate it.

"i iNcREaSeD mY pRoDuCTiViTy bY 90%. hErE's HoW"

"tOp 10 lAnGuAGeS yOu sHoUlD lEaRn iN 2023"

"dAy iN thE LiFe oF a SoFtWaRe EnGiNeEr"

"HeRE's hOw yOu cAn wRiTe bUg fReE cOdE"

It's 3:17AM and the senior dev won't give me a ship-it even after 4 code revisions. I've decided to give up on life

Do you code in your dream too?

Cuz, I do. Mostly it's about some functionality I am not able to implement in real life, at the end of my dream I feel like I have got a really great logical solution but when I wake up it doesn't make any sense.

(Excuse me if the image is a repost)

Just got a message from a co-worker out of the blue telling me he loves my code.
Happiest day of my life :D

Means more to me than any other achievement in my life.

Probably the biggest problem of my life was starting to code at age 28 instead of, let's say 14...

In india

Teachers teach students to code, without any field experience

These students learns things tht they dont need in their life and becomes teachers

The cycle continues...

From my genius analysis, we can see that these students need not go to a company to work like a horse,

Why are we in a company working like a horse?

"Eww that is not Dev-related!"
Shut the fuck up. For me, devRant is a social media for developers and not a social media about only dev-related shit.

"devRant is a fun community for developers to share and bond over their successes and frustrations with code, tech, and life as a programmer!"
You see?
"for developers"
"about code, tech and *life*"

For fucks sake... Stop crying around and just dislike it if you don't want it.

I may or may not have pushed to production certain intranet code that upon meeting certain and very specific conditions would display the message "penis penis penis c====3"
because I can't for the life of me remember why would I do that.

Whats your point??

> be me a 23 y.o intern
> two years on self learned MEAN stack

> first day of intern<

> boss: we need you to become an iOS intern
> me: *whut*
> me: *thinking swift syntax is similar to JavaScript*
> me: OK, in swift ?
> boss: No, in Obj-C
> me: *fuck*

> spend 2 days to familiarize with Obj-C
> boss: Here's a bug, solve it.
> me: OK
> me: *checking their code for the first time*
> me: *fuck, fucking huge*
> me: *open up bug related ViewConttoller*
> me: *fuck, 6k lines of code*
> me: *fucking MVC*

> spend 2 hours to fix the bug <

> boss: you did great ! awesome
> me: *heh*
> boss: *announce to everyone* from now on INTERN will take over the project.
> me: *whut*
> boss: here's our roadmap plz implement features

> after 3 months <

> me fixing bug <
> me do feature development <
> me write shitty code <
.
.
.
repeat, life as an intern

Just spent 10+ hours refactoring a code, and at the end I've figure it out a one line fix to the problem... just wasted 10 hours of my life.. :)

Programming a Discord bot in Javascript and just ran it and said, "Hi, NoVegBot" in the chat. It said, "Hi, dad!" back! (Totally didn't program it to say that 😉) That moment when you put life and personality into something you code.

I have a large code library I have been working on for over 10 years. I have nightmares about leaving it to another unfortunate dev. I'll have to work at this company the rest of my life.

New job...
No introduction to project
No database overview
No documentation
No commented code

Shit, hope this isn't normal in the industry I have aimed the rest of my life at

When you live in a 3rd world country, get a relatively expensive 16mbps connection (that's still very unreliable), and try to clone WebKit… why the hell is it so large even with `--depth 1` and `--single-branch`? Why doesn't `git clone` support resuming/incremental cloning? Is this even 2018?

I want to code but life is actively fighting me right now. I hate this.

/rant

I recently broke up with my boyfriend of more than two years (we have known each other for more than four). My code (and my work in general) seems to have gotten better. Maybe because he's not always at the back of my mind. No matter what anyone says, long distance WILL take a toll on you if you don't meet the other person for more than a year. Nope. Nope. Nope. I'm loving the single life now and feel so much more confident about myself!

It doesn't feel good to be average at everything.

Life is depressing

I can't commit to anything hard enough to become the best.

Programming
Singing
Drawing
Story making
Sports

I'm just average.
I feel bad
I feel like I'm a waste of resources.

I'm tired of ranting.
This life is just tiring.
I don't have the patience

I'm average at commitments.
Time management

I see other people code and sing better than me and feel demotivated

I feel like jumping of a cliff cause no matter what I do, there's someone light years ahead of me.

I'm not even unique
Ultimately that's probably what I want.
To be irreplaceable.

I guess in this struggle to be relevant I'm gonna lose myself and if I do get there, I might not be as happy anyways.

So what's the point to all this

I just spent 2 hours helping a fellow Sr Dev format an “if block” in code. Then helped show them how to step through the code. This is what passes as a senior at my company? I no joke have stayed at this job for 6 more months than I wanted to out of pure pity for my team. I want to quit so bad, but the team is in such terrible shape and can’t hire anyone new that is willing to stay. All good people personally, but gosh this job is just brain dead and eats my weekends when I should be focusing on family. Back to helping through the 500 line if block. There are worse things in life, but this just feels terrible.

I have a coworker who comments every line of code he writes and it doesn't matter how simple the code is and it drives me crazy when I have to look at it. A real life example:

// Gets the total length of the server name string
var total = serverName.length;

IntelliJ has this tutorial where it teaches you a bunch of shortcuts for making life easy, since version 2017.3 or something like that. Most of it is pretty meh, some of it is pretty useful. And I just came across a keybind to auto format code.

What else do I need. If I can quickly format my code and make it look pretty, that's all I'd want.

"Try reformatting the selected code with Ctrl+Alt+L"

*Linux Mint goes to lock screen*

*logs back in, code is unchanged*

Well played...

"Here's an example code for Commodore 64. It should work on your Commodore 16 if you just leave out the POKEs and PEEKs."

Said by my sister somewhere in the mid 80s. This particular advice was silly, but I owe her for my interest in coding. It was actually her who begged our parents to get us a home computer, and took programming courses. She got bored with it though, and I got hooked up for life. Thanks sis!

Super stressed.
What I did is:
1. git pull --rebase
2. Forgot to build to check if everything is working after pulling new changes
3. git push
4. Now, I realized I forgot to implement a method of the recently changed interface.
It's a production code. Not a joke. And was my first push to prod and I messed it up.
Sad life. Fixing it. Senior Devs must be crazy for my silly mistake.

No work experience: I'm gonna be the best programmer in the world. My code is beautiful. This is my passion.

After 1-2 years experience: just f@#$!ng work pls so i can go home goddamit i hate my life im hungry f@$!% everyone.

Just started a new job and they flew me across the globe for two weeks all expenses covered just for a party and a conference before I wrote a single line of code. I think I’m starting to like dev life)

Set up a server, code for hours using node and Mongo trying to realize your dream. FINALLY complete it after a lOOOng time of blood and sweat..

Then find out that a Noob who didn't know the first letter of web programming used FireBase and did what you did in a fraction of the time

I think I've reached the point where I can question what I've done, my purpose in life and.. As for my confidence I think it successfully descended during my last visit to the bathroom

WanBLowS Vusta is more stable than this piece of shit that you call code. Yet you call yourself a programmer? Goddammit, even the shit that I dump in the toilet looks better. Because at least that thing is honest about being shit, unlike this craptacular mess that you call an application. Maybe consider kill -9 $(pidof life).

Confession: I'm launching a major project for a client this time next week. It's some of the worst code I've ever written in my entire life. It's beyond awful, but I have no choice. It's sure going to be fun fixing it for the next 2 weeks post launch.

!rant

I think one of the best moment of life is finding a good song all of sudden. It's like finding a new drug which I can just inject in my ear and code at 100% productivity.

My Manager: Could you help "other manager" (OM) they need some very simple code changes.

Me: sure that will only take a few minutes *adds 15 lines of code tells OM one single line they have to modify*

Some other manager (SOM): Hey how does this work, I'm confused, do I need to do anything?

Me: Yes see the email chain you were copied on.

SOM: Actually let's have a meeting instead and all discuss this.

Goddammit this was a simple change to make your life easier now you are wasting everyones time by not reading the email

There comes that dreaded time in the life of a developer working in a conservative, borderline medieval corporate, where darkness sweeps over the land and the evil lords rummage through every peasant's hovel searching for the forbidden - AKA software audit.
So I made a list of all the unauthorized open source code we desperately rely on, and we decided as a team to go down in flames and gloriously fail the audit, a legend of sacrifice that shall be passed on in hushed voices.

Set out to copy the iOS alarm on android because a) android's stock alarm is fugly and b) all other sleep reminder apps either offer me way too much or no functionality.

Week 1: "Oh, custom UIs need a lot of math... Ok."
Week 2 "Why on earth is my ram usage at 400 mb?!"
Week 6: "I have come to the realisation that android's ByteArrayDecoder should burn in hell.
Week 7: "Man... They sure made the management of intents and pending intents a pain."
Week 10: There. It works. Two classes, 7000 lines of code.... Hmmmm maybe apply MVP."
Week 11: I discovered embarrassment driven development, throw away all my code and start from scratch.
Week 12: Oh ButterKnife, where have you been all my life?
Week 17: I might actually finish this in my life time!
Week 28: Man, this MVP and managing Context, intents, SQLITE DB and pending intents do not mix well.
Week 46: I discover RxJava and Dagger 2
Week 47: I discover that the 'V' in MVP does not refer to an 'Activity'
Week 48: My StudyBudy says to me "Man, exams are only a month away!"
Week 49: I put all your code in my github, delete it locally and focus back on being a student.

Life cycle of code

1- See what sound code I have written! It's beautiful.

2 - Hey we missed something last time, just add this bit of tweak.

3 - We need to add some flags for some exception cases

4 - Hey there is a new requirement. Just add some more paths and more flags

5 - More flags!

6 - This shit runs now more on flags than on the design!

7 - Flagception!

I started using GitHub for my codes lately, so instead of diving into the code, I make sure to mess with GitHub to have it available online, then I admire the design of GitHub, then I drift to YouTube, listen to music and can not concentrate. Then I open Facebook and tell everyone how hard my life is 😂

Forgot my laptop charger in the hotel, flight leaves in 10 minutes, and my computer is at 2% battery life.

I just need to build this code and push! Will the code be pushed in time? Stay tuned to find out!!

... nah jk it just died. 😧

Fuck my life! For my studies at University it is required that I learn how to code... Over the past month I've been learning java, and yesterday a friend of mine has introduced me to Go. Now all I want to do is learn Go, meanwhile our Prof pushes us to learn switch-case and goto...

Dealing with legacy code is one of the hardest thing I've done in my life

FUCK FIREBASE, FUCK CLOUD MESSAGING, FUCK GOOGLE, FUCK APPLE, FUCK PUSH NOTIFICATIONS, FUCK PROGRAMMING AND FUCK MY LIFE. JUST TELL ME MOTHERFUCKERS WHY NOTIFICATIONS IS NOT WORKING ANYMORE, I SWEAR I DIDN'T CHANGE A SINGLE LINE OF THE FUCKING CODE. AND IT'S BEEN ONLY ONE WEEK SINCE THE LAST TIME I TESTED IT.

When it's late at night and my wife and child have gone to bed and I pull out the laptop to start some code/specification I question my life choices.

Does anyone else wonder why they're driven to do what they do?

Back in the day, when callbacks was all I've found on Internet tutorials, my code looked like this (img) . But then I found something called "async" and it changed my life!

But I couldn't let go of my old ways, so the code with async looked just like the callback one, but with new boilerplate code.

The thing is: you can't simply USE something new like you were using the old one. you'll probably use it wrong. you have to understand that this new thing is different and adapt your thinking process to better work with it.

you can sit on a skateboard and go forward using your hands on the ground to push it, but that's not how it was designed to work.

I still use callbacks because I have no intention of rewriting my working codebases right now (because they work just fine). But, even with my struggles in changing to new tech, I've learned to adapt (sort of).

Let me write some code for one hour, which turns into 3 hours and one more hour of almost done

Hi devs!
I've seeked the world but found no answer to this:
I want an android code to convert double[] to a sound file and be able to get that double[] from the file.
And yes I've tried stdAudio library but it did not work as I expected.

Give a replay, save my life 😁

The fact that there are code editor apps for android just changed my life. Now I can buy a small bluetooth keyboard and code on the go.

If you comment your code like this, I'd like you to rethink your life choices.

This is a project we need to work on in university. The code was given to us.

I have this math teacher and, wow, is she good at math. And, wow, should she never enter another field in her life. Today she asked us if anyone does code. The answer is yes, but I refuse to answer something that uses code as a verb.

Several months ago, I wrote the most beautiful Java code of my life. It was shelved and never merged because it added minimal overhead to every call on the system (I'm talking super small relative to the functionality it provided). I've been asked to resurrect it, but master is too different, so I'll have to rewrite it all. 😭 Since that code, I've been doing research and prototypes - nothing production, and looking back on this old code nearly brings me to tears. I might actually get back to writing code that people will use.

I'm just really emotional about it, and I don't know why.

Help, I don't know if I want to code as a job for the rest of my life.
I feel that I miss physical activity in my job. Its just sitting and programming.
I like programming, it's an infinite series of puzzles, and I like puzzles. But more physical would be nice.

Maybe I should find a 2nd job that is more physical and balance the two.

What is everyone's thoughts on this?

Actually finishing a project.

I am a person who gets a lot of ideas for projects I want to work on, then I start writing the code for them, then I reach a wall, stop and restart the cycle all over again.

Fuck my life.

Start-up I'm working for as a front-end dev is pretty nice. I have good hardware, free coffee and my coworkers are all decent people. My boss is chill, and I have flexible work hours.

There is this one policy for writing code, however. And I simply cannot understand it, nor can I ignore it because of code reviews: no comments in production code.

I mean, what? Why? Comments are nice, and they make life easier for the future maintainers. At least let me put a small two-liner explaining why I did stuff this or that way. But no, I only get to explain it verbally (once) to the person reviewing my PR. Why, man?

I hate my freelancer life.
1. No weekends
2. No particular time to close
3. Work for 12 to 14 hours without sleep sometimes
4. Keep explaining the dumb clients about how development is not wordpress.

Its all fucked up. I have no life.

My average Lines of code this month is around 700 LOC/day. Whereas the average that showed on internet is 100 LOC/day.

I have choosen a hellish life.

How long do my fellow devRanters spend per day coding? I will spend about 10 hours per day 6/7 days per week.

I ask this because I'm wondering if I need to re-balance my life choices. I took a whole day off
over the weekend and ended up feeling more rejuvenated coming back to my code this Monday.

ARRRGGHHH! When the person sitting next to you produces nothing but shit and you know it's shit but, your boss doesn't because he's never written single byte of code in his life!

Typical code life?

1. Write rough comments
2. Write more detailed comments
3. Write pseudo code
4. Write semi-working but definitely ugly code
5. Write working but very ugly code
6. Refactor the code to be nicer, check for patterns, bottlenecks and other bits and pieces
7. Push to git the "final" code
8. After few months blame whoever wrote the code
9. Refactor all the things!

---

This happened in my career more than once and still - it seems like the best option out there to get things done. What do you guys think? Should something be added/removed from this? Is this over-complicated or what?

Fucking kill me. I've just agreed to make a shitty fucking app that would be better as a Webpage, using shitty fucking technologies I don't understand, to do a thing that would be better handled by a third party.
You know why? The guy who asked me to do it is a good friend, and I'm the "best (only) code monkey" he knows. FUCK MY LIFE.

At least I'm getting payed

I’m all for writing boolean statements that are readable, quick to grasp the real life case they’re representing and align with the spec rather than being ultra-reduced, but sometimes the spec is written by someone who clearly can’t reduce logic. So when the spec says “if it’s not the case that any of them are false” and you write:
!(!a || !b || !c || !d)
then I think you should try harder. At least put a note against the spec to say “i.e. if they’re all true” and then write the sensible code. Just think of the poor developer that might have to augment your code at a later date and has to follow and intercept that shite.

Just wasted 2 hours of my life looking through my colleagues code because he decided to build it at the last moment, install it at customer, and then take the day off.

If he had just started the project he would have seen it crash.

I hate people who don't test their own shit

Hi devs,

i am just curious, how often you use devrant.

to be honest,.. if my life is good.. no bugs. no miss management. I don't even remember devrant exist..

but as soon as I got frustrated from code,management, life.. Devrant is the first thing I type of my browser before starting any work :P

It has taught me to accept that I am frequently wrong. Not just when faced with code but with people too.

All the years of "It can't possibly be MY code that's wrong" which of course always turns into "Well, I guess it was my code..." Had helped me think critically in relationships, politics, and many other areas of my life.

Programming had actually heavily influenced my behavior and I would say it is largely for the better.

However, one negative effect it has had on me is that I am less of an optimist. Code is very "cause and effect". This means a lot of my life is "no surprises" and "you get what you give"

So I often feel like the most likely outcome is probably just the one that's gonna happen. There are no surprises, no miracles. Life is cause and effect.

"Did you see, cryptocurrency XYZ has N commits in the past week, but the price hasn't gone up?!?! WhAtS gOiNg oN!?!?"

Dude. If I could just write code to make the price of things in the real world go up, I can assure you, I would have done it.

That's not how this works. THAT'S NOT HOW ANY OF THIS WORKS REEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!

God... normie "crypto experts" who haven't coded a day in their life really piss me off, and are super cringe. The funniest is that none of them or their followers realize it.

PM asked me to make the code deeper, here's the new load script:

//Someone is born (init script and load deps, also run it)
$life = new begin_life();
//magic happens (generate random token)
$life->Living = openssl_random_pseudo_bytes(rand(), TRUE);
//We end it all
$life->die();

I remember the first time I had a code block, I sat on my desk for up to 18 hours trying to fix it. In the end realizing that my impatience is not helping me. It was all in vain. A tired mind did not help.

I finally came to realise that I was lacking on knowledge and a tired brain did not help. I did it the next day but learnt a huge lesson. When it's just not your day, it's not you day. A fresh mind will help next day. Relax, do anything apart from code.

Too much of code can drain you of ideas and smartness. You need to let your mind breathe. Life away from the PC is important too.

Start-up life.

Learning to code but must do website.

Must learn illustrator....

Can`t even select a fucking circle without it becoming a splatterod non sensical shapes.

Been at it for 2 weeks.

Boss/friend like. Hey i know its the holidays but lets catch up to see what youve done....

Me. Well... I can fuck up circles ;)

-*sleeping frustated cause of code errors*

brain: hey, wake up! I think I know the solution of that code

-*wake up at 4 am*
-*do the code*
-*get more errors*

Fuck this life

Honestly I love PHPStorm. It makes my life so much easier and takes care of a lot of the mundane tasks and boilerplate I can't be bothered with, allowing me to get on with making a right old mess of the code 😊.

I really want to see the source code for pokemon go even though I'm 100% certain I'll be unable to understand it I just want to look at it and try to learn how it works

But I'll probably never see the source in my life :(

Food and Programmers life:
Spaghetti —> My Code
Pizza —> We are spending the night working in the office
Power Drinks —> delivery date is tomorrow morning
Candy —> extra task
Coffee —> bug massage
Water —> wash your face, we have meetings in five minutes
Truffle —> fu** BlockChain
KitKat —> upgrade your phone please
Lollipop —> one more time please
Marshmallow —> do you like some Nougat?

@dfox add a onBackPressed function and while exit make the code to double press the back button to exit.

Mistakenly clicked back button, now I hate my life.

#whenProdBreaks

$data = ["some","predefined","data","set"];

// :/ this suddenly broke
//$response = $this->makeSoapRequest($data);

/**
Due to prod failure, Hot-swap soap for rest - don't ask how we took the same input, spun the shit out of the response and recreated the same data structure that the soap request made, but it works... and that's all you will ever have to know.
**/

$response = $this->makeRestRequest($data);

//process the response
$this->process($response);

Pretty much your life when you have the misfortune of debugging labview 'code' written by an electrical engineer

I'm curious..

When does programming suck for you, and when is it fun?

Like I hate programming, when I run into an obscure use case that opens up some serious errors with my some, or gasp, all, of my architecture and forces me to rethink everything - especially DB design, ugh.

I love programming when my architecture and DB design create naturally readable code and everything falls into place and I feel like a genius.

I guess, in short.... plan before you code?

And then, plan again.

But don't plan too much.

The love/hate of my programming life summed up right there I think.

How about you?

They say 'code drunk, refactor sober' but they fail to mention the sober refactoring dude won't have a CLUE what the drunk coder was even thinking.

Such is my life.

#justdevthings
That moment when you're so engrossed in your project that you lose track of time. You begin to SEE code irl, not just on screens. Things like hunger, environment and a sense of time fade away. That feeling when the code just works, but better when it doesn't and you figure out a smart fix. Oh gosh ill pay to feel like that all day.

I wrote a shitty layout for an android side project. It haunted me. I could still SEE the shitty xml long after the pc was shut down. I had a nightmare about it and woke up sweating, and all I could see was xml. Fkin xml man. I redid the layout at 3am and boy was i so satisfied.
I think that was just the tetrix effect taking its toll on me.

I always got screwed by parents for being on that machine all day, back in school. But none of that matters now. I can now feel the code running in my veins and flowing into the machine. I can now feel my heart throbbing at the sight of such beauty. They ask how i manage my social life. I say everything goes well until i start a side project, that's when social life gets fucked hard. I think I'm gonna die one day after performing the final commit.

As I sit and stare at code, and then stare at the Bills I need to pay as the month starts. I began to think, what if I too was part something new in Tech. Everytime, I see people creating new Tech, getting noticed, I wish I was there on forefront.

Then it gradually dawns on me, "you are just here to make ends meet, survive in the corporate world. Why care about the world. Let it go as it is."

"A shitty life".

I hate those morons who do QA by simply clicking around. You are a disgrace to people like me who like to code and still enjoy doing testing.
Get a life you fuckers. You are the sole reason why many people in industry thinks that QA is something anybody can do.

Yes, I agree you can test the application, but in no way you could ensure the quality of the product.

I tried and I'm giving up. I have spent nearly two years of my life trying to teach kids to code but it feels like standing in quicksand I don't get to learn new stuff I feel myself turning into the kind of teachers ppl make fun of here. I used to pride myself in being the fun teacher that kids look up to. Guess I'll quit while I'm ahead

Not only dev related but remember to constantly backup your important info of your Hard disk constantly... specially if those disk have not only the lastest code you are have been working on but photos of you and high school friends back in the day when the original Iphone was just released that you havent properly printed yet.
I think that is one of the nearest thing I can think of that I regret lately aside from simple being "my life" in itself

I was doing code reviews for some of the new Devs recently joined... One guy wrote his entire life history in the check in description... Like Why he took this approach, why interfaces are necessary in coding, when did he lost his virginity (I doubt he ever did), what's his pet name? - sadly no information related to his online banking... Shame really...

This pic is from my class messenger group.
Translation:

Dear teacher! Our group have chosen another web builder for the project, we hope it's not a problem...

Yeah, I use templates which I can copy code from to my group's site, but for the love of *!#* life I consider myself a noob beginner even tough I've been in this field for a year or two now but I can code with more confidence now. What the hell are these people going to do if they only willing to rely on school and wix...

But I can always be wrong, these are just my thoughts.

There was a task of fixing up a payments page that features pretty complex logic. Initially it was like 200 lines of code, seems short but it was a fucking spaghetti mess. Never seen more cognitively complex code in my life.

So I delete the spaghetti and pull out the 500 lines fucking state machine. It works perfectly. It’s perfectly understandable even though it’s longer.

This is how I deal with problems. Shorter code isn’t always better code.

> Am writing code
> Life is good
> Add debugger keyword
> Script pauses
> Type in var name... Undefined.
> ...What?
> Check out local scope. It's there. What the fuck?
> Add console.log(myVariable)
> Refresh
> Logs variable no problem. Cool.
> Type in my var name
> Undefined

FFFUUUUUUU-

How can you call yourself a code if you live in a city and never experience the outdoors, trees, birds, life. I do it all the time and it gives me so many more ideas and concepts to include in my coding.
#include <outdoors.hpp>

Couldn't save a file because it showed me that this file is opened somewhere else. So I go to the resource monitor to check for its handlers, but only explorer.exe showed in list. I restart explorer and get back to the code. For the first time..... for the first time in my life I hoped that this won't work. I press Ctrl+S, andddd, file was saved.

So, basically, windows's explorer can lock files. Nice job Microsoft. Nice job.

So I've never taken the time to fully learn git/github. I'm guessing my life will probably change after today. Might explore some different code editors while I'm at it.

Wasted 2 hours of my life trying to make an actionbar display white text on a dark background after migrating the legacy code from ActionBarSherlock to the supportactionbar.

And guess what? That fucking actionbar still displays black text.
What. The. Fuck.

Giving up on this for today...

It completely changed the course of my life!
I started learning to code because I was curious how mobile apps works. I blew through my self guided learning and needed more. Flash forward two years and I am working as a web developer! My projects are challenging but I've been learning insanely fast and I can't wait to see where I am two years from now.

Coding was and is the thing that currently feeds me the most efficient way. But it's also what caused to cringe and to hate people the most because of legacy code and immensely narrowminded dimwits aka clients.
But yeah: Coding is love, coding is life. ❤️

Oh yeah am very religious.
I attend the Church of JavaScript.
We code 5 times a day.
And pray on Sundays for Internet Explorer.

By keeping away from bugs and living a functional life
We will all one day meet the web in native paradise

Everytime I run my code and it works. It's the little things in life lol

Fuck my life!!! Fuck it right hard!!! My fucking compiler (the one I code) fucking broke down, and i have to put it to competition it two weeks... Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck: obviously Iost backup and gitHub doesnt seem like wanting to give me that version back... Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck duck!!!!

Sometime ago in my previous job an IT prick decided to troll developers by blocking access to stack overflow in our offices. It coincided with a settlement case of a few million dollars that our company had to pay because some idiot copied code illegally.
It was one of the most confusing hours of my life : a few hundred developers looking at each other and laughing in the weirdest fashion.
We sure shat some bricks.

TL; DR;
I'm one with code and the code is one with me.

Everything in my life has been inconsistent and as soon as I start building expectations from someone or something, it disappoints. Be it my friends (😂😂) or my ex girlfriend or my studies or my college or my professors or work, or food (sometimes).

Coding, or programming, has been the only consistent and non disappointing thing since 2010 for me. It just works. If I write a wrong program, I know its why and where its wrong and then fixing it works. Sometimes it works in one go. And sometimes is works beyond my expectations. Its like coding chose me rather than me chosing coding.

It's was the forth year of my college, in the corner of the world in south India, I wanted to something to combine both medicine and the coding that I learnt, I started learning about heart murmurs, it's basically a skill based diagnosis that only 1 in 20 heart specialists can make by hearing the heart beat and listening to a small murmur that happens during the systolic cycle or the diastolic cycle. I wrote a program to learn a lot of sample murmurs and try to find (very bad hand made logic) the similarities between two wave patterns, the problem started with noise so I went out and built a new stethoscope with a carbon mic inside a normal stethoscope head and try filtering the sound at source (worked well enough at that time) I then tried to find people to test it on, but alas I was not able to find patients as doctors are not supposed to reveal them etc. I wanted to show them visually how a murmur pattern would look like and I stole some code and made a plotter for the wav file and presented everything. By that time I got a lot of close amazing friends involved and they helped me solidify the project and we won the best project award and I got my first gold medal of my life at the end of my academic life :) it was one of the best moments of my life. Second only to the joy of getting married to wife. May be third if I put getting a job in Microsoft India Development Center.

I still wish I could dig that code up and write it properly with what I have learnt today but work is never ending and I find great problems to solve everyday which I know I can make a difference, may be when I get retired I will dust out that CD with the decades old c++ code and write one last program...

On this episode of “My Work Life” we will once again find that the code is fine, the DBAs just did something brainless again.

Coding for me has been such a heartache and a relief at the same time. Having an outlet for my brain activities has improved my mental and emotional health significantly.

It also thought me a couple of valuable lessons:

1. With enough efford you can accomplish pretty much anything

2. You're not the only one struggling with issues, life or code related.

3. Moronic people can be found everywhere you look.

4. Patience is key to grow as a human being.

So i informed my intent to leave the job in few months in pursuit of learning something new in tech. Boss is trying to convince me to not leave and said i should consider learning it after work hours. In fact, in his opinion, the best way to learn is just going ahead and learning it while doing it in the project ( which usually has impossible deadline and fugly code by colleagues who never thinks of good coding practices when typing their shit ).

Well guess what boss, I don't want to just live a life staring at monitor all day. I don't want to kill my eyes either.

Following his advise and not quitting would mean living a slave life.

I have other plans actually. Like being self employed and traveling the world which would be impossible if i follow the routine life.

Fun fact: he claimed he made an AI car back in 90s!

He also thinks I can't sense BS!😏

I was once handed a very old PHP project that I had to make some changes to. I thought it would be a piece of cake. But the moment I looked at the code, I knew it wasn't going to be easy. It was so poorly written, it took me hours to figure out what was actually going on. Now these were the times when I was already quite disturbed mentally and emotionally, and this shitty PHP code only made it worse. At one point, I was like, fuck this shit I'm gonna quit this job.

Thankfully, the client soon emailed that the requested changes weren't needed anymore.

I personally have nothing against PHP. I have created some amazing stuff with it. But it's the programmers that don't follow the best practices that piss me off. I mean, how fucking hard can it be to write clean code. You might save your time today by taking shortcuts but you'll make life hell for the people who might have to maintain your code in the future.

I don't know my problem is. I lost my motivation to code, my enthusiasm and excitement to read a code and solve a problem. My love of my life for 6 years whom I thought she's the one, gave up on us. It was a long journey, lots of ups and downs, but really worth the time and sacrifice. Now, she's doing good, very happy on her life judging from her social media. Can't believe she just moved for 2 months. To be honest, i want her to be happy but quite bitter that she just moved on quite fast. And I don't if this is the reason why I lost my motivation and enthusiasm to code. Or maybe I just don't like the project we're working on. Well, I really don't like it since it's a mobile game, I really want to build webapp or mobile app but it's too late to change the project.

I'm not like this, I used to code until morning without noticing the time, excited to solve a problem that stuck on me for quite a while. I really became a lazy person right now. I feel the pressure to finish the project but I don't see myself working on it, I don't feel interested reading a code. I just play computer games instead of working on my project during my free time. I don't know if I'm depressed. I socialized with people, have fun, happy when I'm with them, but when I'm alone, sadness starts to creep in. I feel like there's an empty void in myself. I don't know, i just want the motivation and energy to work on my project. Im tired, lazy, and feeling burnt out. If you read until this very last sentence, thank you and I'm sorry for reading this nonsense.

When you need to work with the register of your microcontroller but you fuck up the addresses. I wasted so much time looking at my code to figure out what I'm doing wrong. I tried everything, looked up the datasheet again on how to initialize everything and in the end I fucked up the fucking register addresses. Three addresses had, at the offset, one 0 instead of two.

I never felt so dumb in my life

Honestly now that I have a job and I work with good people, being on devrant anymore just ruins my day. I love it when people rant about their jobs and code, and I love it when people share cool stuff on here. But the childish and toxic behavior leaves such a sour taste in my mouth. I hope I see you assholes (you know who you are) on the street so I can smack you, and you deserve every bit of what's coming to you. I hope you can turn your life around and actually help the world one day. Til then, I'm going to enjoy my life, because my life is fucking amazing. bye!

Nope,

Far too in love with myself to have any sort of insecurities.

Not that there is anything wrong with having them, we are all different. I just believe that insecurities come from giving other people far too much power over ourselves. And I just couldn't care less what people say about me, as long as it IS about me. See?

The more confidence you project the more attention you will get, be it good or bad, it doesn't matter since it is the only way to go up in your workplace. Having a personality besides "ZOmG cOde Is LiFE" really goes a long way also.

So yall cheer the fuck up, its just code.

Dev Confession:
I wrote a bunch of code today that created more problems than it solved. I did not commit it. I used git stash to hide it. It took me hours to write. I didn't do a test on a small section of code beforehand. Literally hours of wasted man hours.

At least I didn't commit this garbage into the repo. The approach was fine, but the architecture made it a non-solution. Now I need to redesign this code or leave as is. It is production code I cannot just "change" on a whim.

I have officially dubbed this week as confession week. This should be a world wide thing. People should fess up to their terrible deeds. Lets start a trend and confess to our misdeeds in code and life. Make the world a better place!

What do you say?

If you’re a developer who seek professional growth, there is no better way than learning other languages, even if nobody really uses them.

Pick a language and spend a weekend reading tutorials and most importantly writing code in it, something like game of life, sudoku solver or todo-list app.

The more alien the language feels the better. Try Clojure, OCaml, Smalltalk, Prolog, Erlang, and also weird esoteric languages like Piet.

Writing code that operates on alien concepts you see there is the quickest way of learning that concepts and reusing them in whatever language you’re making money with. Your professional growth will be immense.

Everyday I come to work. I feel miserable. Everyday write code. Fix difficult bugs. Go home dinner sleep. Tomorrow repeat.

I am reading Jia jiang's story. Mel Robbins 5 seconds. Christ grace's lectures. Still feel miserable. What is the meaning of life? All I want is to teach people code.

Today I've found code that was generating HTML of ```<ul><li>1. Item</li><li>2. Item</li></ul>``` and I'm seriously reconsidering all my life choices. Fortunately the guy who made this doesn't work with us anymore.

The best dev advice a dev has given me is to write clean and structured code from the very start of every project. Changed my life in general.

"How you do one thing is how you do everything."

No, the language is not stupid :) No, it is not a problem of the language, it's just the fact that you don't really understand how to use it properly :) i think this is something each of us hates to hear while frustated but needs to hear afterwards, bad design is a posibility tho, but 99.999% of the cases is our fault. face it, nd overcome it! and finally, to grow beyond it 😄

<<edited with my potato phone's standard image editor>>

The code will not:
* bad-mouth
* lie
* let down
* abuse
* cheat
* bully
* kill
* run away

The code brings people together no matter if someone has the brain power of protozoa or is the next Euclid. The code is pure with a passive buff to become as perfect as possible. It's the new math for the future world. The code is love, the code is life.

That's why I love (to) code. And you?

Whenever you feel down, whenever the code does not compile, just think... Think about the fact that you are the first line of evolution into the future. You are creating life with instructions, just by sitting at home and letting your mind wonder into finding a solution.

!rant

I've always been wondering why do tech companies need everyone to have a strong grasp of algos and data structures?

I've been coding most of my life but didn't get a CS degree so ended up in IT but I kind of want to get into a tech company as my thinking is the quality of code much higher (I spend a lot of time cleaning up other people's code and prod issues over the years...), I've been learning Algo/DS but when I see those technical questions on CareerCup, I go WTF.... it's this the kind of problems you guys do every day?

When you do a pull and find a line of code is mis-indented by a space/tab and you start questioning the code gods and universe about the meaning of life

So I work full time at a retail store, but only one person is on shift at a time here so I'm allowed to bring my laptop and code while I'm running the store. This is where I get most of my schoolwork done and make most of my project deadlines for web dev job.

My only social life really consists of me hanging out with my boyfriend. Often when I need to be working on some code or project he will sit next to me and play guitar/sing or will quietly read while I'm on my laptop.

Other than that I chat with some game friends through Discord throughout the day, and often visit/help family members in spare time off of work.

Not much of a social life when you're super busy

What was your best moment in your life as a Programmer?
Mine, besides a small amount of good projects for my course, was telling by the phone to a project partner the code, line by line, that would solve a bug in the code and when be put it and run the project it worked. Still need something to top that one XD

I had this problem where I needed to make a script that took two values, and from that printed what card was faulty in a pretty large system.

As the script language is horrible, I could not be bothered to manually write over 3000 if-statements I proceeded to write a program that writes code for me, based on a export of all the cards.

There are few things I have experienced in my life that compares to the satisfaction of seeing my own program produce many thousands of lines of code in a few seconds.

I did my biggest mistake of my coding life today (I've been coding for two months).
I did a program in my coding class. I said to myself : "I will try when it will be done". After 3 hours of coding, I finished the code. I tried it and... almost all of my script was trash. Best feeling ever.

When you write LaTeX, do you code? Typeset? Program? Type random stuff so that in the end the PDF looks good enough to publish it?

I really feel like it's coding but it also is typesetting. Hmm, the questions of life!

Sometime my code is so wrong that I can almost hear the mother of algorithm crying out loud.

I just want to remove that piece of code from my project....no, from my mind, my life.

How to write unmaintainable code and keep your job for life, tip #476;

Use A.C.R.O.N.Y.M.S. to keep the code terse. Real men never define acronyms, they understand them genetically

!!rant

Today I wanted to finish a feature in some Python code I. Working on instead I scope creeped myself a bunch times adding "other cool features" and refactoring working and readable code that didn't need refactoring. Oh and learning about random things on SO and finally giving up on making any more progress for the day and reading devrant.

ADHD Self:"Coding is love, coding is life. Plus I'm getting paid."

....

Responsible self: "Wait no, go home sleep, spend time with your wife"

Remembering self:" she's out with friends"

Responsible self: "ah, carry on, she's probably spending more money than you're making"

Somehow managed to create my own theme for my IDE. Unfortunately didn't implement the highlight feature for semicolons, arrows, comma etc. (totally forgot about it)
Applied it super excitedly and started writing code.
Some lines later a simple loc generated error. Spent nearly 5 hours on fixing the issue. Later realized what was actually missing.
Fuck my life.

Sometimes I feel like, if anybody would have told me, the real use of GitHub, bitbucket or any other version control systems. Then life would have been much easier.

I remember in my college days, I use to keep the code backup in several different places on my system as well as Google drive and Dropbox..

For working parallely with the team-mate in college means...sharing of changed code..every now and then..via mail😫

Git, bitbucket you're the real MVP. Period.

Thought : God the Programmer

Life is huge bunch of programming code written by God. Where the flow of control depends on how you resolve conditions.

The day I read The Simulation Argument, by Nick Bostrom, a thought popped into my mind: "if we are made of code, maybe there are ways to hack life as you would hack some random program", I started thinking privilege escalation over the simulation, buffer overflow, picking signals as if I was eavesdropping... it was an epiphany and also fun

Turns out the reason the current tester12 build of Linux 3DS hangs on my 3DS (at the very least) is due to it trying (and failing) to get the version of the onboard NAND (where the Nintendo-sanctioned code resides), which hangs. If I boot the known-working copy of Linux 3DS and run parted, it instantly dies due to my NAND making it say "Error: A partition cannot reside outside of the disk!"

Either the onboard NAND is dying or Linux is just being an asshole. Either way... fuck my life.

I need your help.
I think I'm addicted to distractions and diversions. It's ruining my life and any chance to get experience.

Instead of actual developing, I constantly watch development tutorials and courses, listen to podcasts about development, read books and articles about development, post on development forums and go to development meetups.

I can't write a few lines of code without being 100% concentrated first, and afterwards I get distracted by everyday life events only to find myself at the end too tired to do anything productive and then surrender to sleep.

I'm getting depressed. How can I fight this? How can I push myself to work and be an actual developer?

Before I went to school I was copying game code from book to atari computer cause it was faster than waiting for game to load from tape recorder ( especially when people are walking around on wood floor and you have constant read errors).

I probably wrote some magic spell that cursed me on my lifetime cause this shitty programming happened to chase me everywhere I go.

Damn you software you’re everywhere I go, why you’re haunting me all the time. It’s hard to find some quiet place without you watching.

So remember kids don’t write code you don’t understand cause it may fuck your life.

I have read people talk about how “Laravel makes PHP fun”. I don't get it. I really hate frameworks. Yeah they may simplify tasks. But the way I see it, you now have a damn framework that you're never going to bother to understand. You most likely won't read the underlying code, you'll rely on others to release security updates.

Hey yeah it has its benefits, like peer reviewed, and matured code.

But I guess it's just not for me.

SAME GOES FOR WORDPRESS. It does freaking make your life easy, and it's easy money, but I guess it would just annoy me to not be bothered with the underlying code.

Anyway, Imma head on to make my own framework....

Reading a couple rants from students and teachers lately, brought back to my mind a memory from the first lesson in my Software Engineering course when I was in college.
Teacher entered the room like he was the king of the world, turned around facing the students and started his intro speech:
"my name is {name} bla bla bla I will teach you software engineering bla bla bla let's point out one important thing: In your life you have written how many lines of code for a software? 10? 100? If you have NEVER written at least 1,000,000 lines of code for a program, you're not a developer. Now let's start talking about waterfall, endless specification requirements and meetings..."

Me 😐
And that was the moment I left the room moonwalking

Jesus fucking christ.
I posted two rants today, both about trying to get my SD card reader to work on my arduino due...

After spending my whole day debugging, rewriting my code multiple times, cutting off anything that wasn't strictly necessary, writing my code procedurally, I finally decided to go and see what the library I HAVE to use is doing under the hood.

APPARENTLY...

uint_fast8_t is NOT 8 bits wide on my due...

The bitshifts were "overflowing" (not really, just taking more space, which it had access to) meaning that my data was getting corrupt.

FUCK YOU FOR TAKING A DAY OFF MY LIFE

Low code platforms (e.g. OutSystems) will gradually win over developers who will look back at all the time they've wasted and think "why the fuck didn't tell me about this sooner!!!"

Disclaimer: I work for OutSystems and can honestly say that I can create a production-ready app while you're still picking the best JS framework to get started with. Been there...

Actual rant: Time to move up the abstraction layer, get stuff done on time and on budget and go home (also on time) to enjoy life!

Collaborating on a project with another person, is like sex. If you don't pull on time, you've to support the code for the rest of your life! :P

My mother still doesn't know what I do with my laptop, she thinks I either watch youtube or movies. The last day when I faced a code block and stared at the screen for 12 hours, she finally realised I am either insane or something is driving me nuts.

My Brother thinks it's one of the good decisions I have taken in life. Because he sees my interest when I talk about it to him.

Others think I can fix a broken PC or install softwares for them or do typing to get paid.

for the life of me I cannot figure out in my mind how to structure this project I want to start, and jumping right into coding does not improve this mental block.

At work this Golang code base has a clean architecture, so easy to maintain and extend, and I'm unable to replicate it on my own project(s). It sucks to be an ignorant.

I was asked to revisit some code yesterday - code that I had written at a much better time in my life. I was productive, I was on top of my project and we were delivering value to the organization.

I'm at a point now where I haven't written any code for months. I've been documenting and designing and arguing with teammates over inane shit. It's been an absolute slog, and I've started looking at what it would take for me to actually quit since I've got a kid on the way, and I've been bringing the stress and anxiety home from work. I've got so much money in options and salary, it's basically impossible for me to leave for better work.

I'd consider this the lowest point in my professional career. Four years of college - where I beat alcoholism and depression (mostly) only to end up at a place that I fucking hate, but cannot leave. It's affecting my family. I've drank more in the past 6 months than I have in my entire life.

And now I have to start repurposing old code to work on a new project that is fucked up 5 ways from Sunday. I honestly don't know how much further I can stretch my professional ethics to keep this shitload of cash flowing into my savings.

Had a nightmare last night where I was called in to do a coding challenge against two other people...on a whiteboard only and no Google or StackOverflow. I couldn't even get one line of code written. The other two guys got a bunch. Too bad one of my real life projects has a lot in common with this nightmare.

Software development is a special kind of a nightmare. The kind that you wish you could wake up from, but can’t, because code is money and money is life.

Ever since i graduated from college my mental state has drastically improved. I am no longer suicidal and i have will to live. Although my life is still pathetic and unsuccessful at least now i have the freedom to do what i love -- which is to fucking code and not study bullshit trash subjects