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Owner of company I freelance for: I need you to find out what CMS [website] is running in.
[Checking...]
Me: It's running in Drupal
Owner: Prove to me that it's running in Drupal, because she's saying you're wrong.
Me: Who the hell is "she"?
Owner: The boss over at [PR Company we do work for]
Me: Is she a developer?
Owner: No, of course not. She barely knows how to run a computer.
Me: Then tell I said it's running in Drupal, and if she wants proof, tell her I'm the developer she has begged to fix two other failing projects and I have delivered both times ahead of schedule.
Owner: If you don't show me proof, I'll fire you. I don't need attitude from my employees.
Me: A.) I'm not your employee, you are my client. I don't clock in for you and you don't withhold taxes from my pay. B.) If that's how you want to be, tell her to use terminal and cURL the website for the response header, as well as cross-reference folder structure for CSS/JS file inclusion to show it's running in Drupal.
Owner: What the fuck is terminal?
Me: If you don't know what terminal is, neither will she, meaning you have no business telling me how to do my job. Stick with assigning me tasks and let me use my expertise to get them done. Micromanaging need not apply here, mmm'kay pumpkin?
Owner: You sure are grouchy today.
Me: Yep...35 -
I wonder when there will be the first manufacturer to introduce the "cool" new notch design to normal screens. 🤔
27 -
I sent a professional letter to my boss telling him that i will leave after 15 days. He replied saying :
" stop that bullshit "19 -
Me wanting to board Plane,
Goes through security Check...
"Sorry sir Laptops are not allowed."
Me
"Why?"
Security
"It could be a modified bomb"
Me
"But this is a Tablet!"
Security
"No sir, it has a Keyboard and Trackpad attached to it, its also running Windows..."
Me
"Excuse me, but this is clearly a Tablet"
*Detatches Keyboard from Surface Book*
"See? Tablet."
Security,
"Sorry sir, but no. You cant board the plane with this, only Tablets and Smartphones"
Me
"WTF? you dont allow Laptops because they could be bombs but A FUCKING SMARTPHONE IS ALLOWED? AND TABLETS TOO?!"
Security
"Yes, because the Battery is not removable..."
Me
"But my Laptop Battery is also not Removable..."
Security
"I dont have anymore Time for an Argument"
Me
"So I can board the Plane?"
Security
"No, the Ticket will be refunded"
WHO THE FUCK CAME UP WITH THIS BULLSHIT? LIKE RLY? WHO!!
I MEAN WHAT THE FUCK IS ALLOWED?!30 -
"I have 4G in my phone"
Me: That's bullshit! We don't have 4G yet in our country.
*Shows me the phone*
"4 GB"10 -
What seems to be the problem? Oh, is your wordpress site hacked/infected with malware?
So I guess you decided to disable updates because it might break your shitty little site? And I guess you thought those warnings you got from me and multiple colleagues about what could happen when you didn't update your wordpress bullshit weren't that serious?
Hold on, you want *US* to restore *YOUR* hosting backups?
Hahahahahaha-no.
Go clean up your own fucking bullshit. But, before you click that restore button, please take a cactus, carve 'I am a stupid wordpress cunt' into it, dip it in a bathtub of with blood mixed-infected cum and shove it up your ass.
Oh yeah I'm aware that that won't help your situation but it might keep you from reproducing and at least it'll give me some satisfaction.20 -
What the fuck is this one-way interview bullshit?
"The organization you are interviewing with has come up with a series of interview questions that they have requested you to respond to. This is an on-demand interview which means that you'll be recording your video interview answers at your convenience as long as you submit them before the deadline." -- sparkhire.com
Like seriously?
What if I have questions? I have plenty, and I find those questions considerably more important than whatever bullshit gotchas the company wants to annoy me with.
One-way interview.
Fucking really.
At least have the decency to talk to me.36 -
Team lead dismisses my request for promotion to senior, "need more experience", 3 hours later get job offer for senior position5
-
I'm tired of those post and memes about wasting four days finding a missing semicolon (;).
Where do those guys program? Notepad?
Come on! Use the existing tools!8 -
Fuck this fucking sql error for the past 2,5 fucking hours.
I'm so fucking done with this bullshit.20 -
I'm one of the biggest advocates for Chromebooks and Chrome OS ever.
But even I will call out the bullshit right here:
7 -
I hate Wordpress. I hate Wordpress. I hate Wordpress.
Wordpress can take a big shit on itself and crawl into a deep dark hole far away from all that is good.
Who even uses Wordpress? Bloggers? Come on, let’s be honest, they’re using more intuitive sites like weebly, wix, and square space. So WHAT is Wordpress for? I’ll tell you, it’s just to FUCKING TORTURE PEOPLE.
So, being the “techy guy” of the family, a relative contacts me asking for some help with their website because they need to install an SSL certificate but they don’t know how to. I tell them I’d gladly do it because, sure, they’re family and how long can it possibly take to install a certificate? I’ve done it before!
Well, I get to work and log into the sluggish Wordpress dashboard and try to use a plugin that would issue a LetsEncrypt certificate because they are free and just as good as any other SSL. But one plugin after the next I keep getting errors about how my hosting wouldn’t allow it.
So I contact GoDaddy (don’t get me fucking started) and ask them about the issue. The guy tells me it’s “policy” to only be able to use GoDaddy’s certificates. How much do they cost? Oh, how about $100 a year?! Fuck you.
I figured out the only way to escape this hell was to ask them to open an economy Linux hosting account with cPanel on GoDaddy (the site was formerly hosted on a “Managed Wordpress” account which is just bullshit for not wanting to give you any control over your own goddamn content). So now I have to deal with migrating the site.
GoDaddy representative tells me that it should only take 20 minutes for me to do this (I’ve already spent way too much time on this but whatever) so I go forward with the new account. I decide I should migrate the site by exporting a backup and manually placing everything on the new server. Doesn’t it end up taking an entire hour to back up a 200MB site because GoDaddy throttled the processing speed?!
So, it’s another hour later and I’ve installed all the databases and carried over all the files. At this point, I’m really at the end of my rope and can’t wait to install the certificate and be done with this fuckery.
I install the certificate and finally get ready to be on my way, but then I see it. A warning. A warning from my browser telling me the site is only partially secure. It turns out the certificate was properly installed but whoever initially made the site HARDCODED ALL THE LINKS to images, websites, and style sheets to be http instead of https.
I’m gonna explode.
I swear, I’m gonna fucking explode.
After a total of 5 hours of work, I finally get the site secure by using search and replace on every fucking file.
Wordpress can go suck a big one. Actually, Wordpress can go suck the largest fuckin one in existence and choke on it.
TL;DR I agree to install an SSL certificate but end up with much more work than I bargained.38 -
This is how most comments in code are. Why are you telling me it's a coffee cup, I can fucking see it's a coffee cup, who owns it and why is it right here? Are you putting coffee in it or something else?
6 -
Why do you wake up tired?? Isn't that what you go to bed to fix?! What the fuck kind of bullshit is this?!13
-
TMW you're asked to arrive one hour earlier at the office, so it can look "busy and innovative" to investors.
Some of us are just the toys very rich people play with.3 -
"Using the command line for any other reason than to feel like a hacker, is a bullshit reason." - Unknown4
-
Don't get me wrong, I like funcional programming, but this smug „This would neeever happen with FP“ bullshit really gets on my nerve and kind of turns me off the idea of ever wanting to work with FP programmers.
It's just another paradigm, it's still possible to write unmaintainable fuckugly crapcode with functional programming.
And it is still very possible to write beautiful, clean, well maintainable code with OOP. Get over yourselves and understand that it's a tool and not a religion, and a good dev should know when to pick which tool for which job without childish notions of intellectual superiority.4 -
A brilliant article that talks on the state of internet
The Bullshit Web - https://pxlnv.com/blog/...
Tldr: as internet speed increased, page loading time did not decrease because the extra bandwidth is being stuffed with unnecessary big scripts and autoplaying videos.
AMP is nothing more than a business tactic by Google25 -
FOR FUCK'S SAKE!!!
Stop this INFINITE SCROLL BULLSHIT!!!
Or at least save THE FUCKING position I've been before clicking on an element!16 -
Congratulations on a great year of continuous stress and being successful. As a reward here's a 50 bucks increase to your salary.
Yeah... great.. fuck you!1 -
Story time...of how HR actually did its job of taking care of employees.
So, I started at this new gig on December, the boss was all sunshine and promise (big red flag now to think back). Then as time passed, he started seeming...off. To a point I considered quitting my boss just after 2 months of working for him.
Then one morning we had a project meeting. He started verbally abusing me, calling me incompetent, bashing my work (of which he knew ~nothing, his experience 30 years back). Earlier in the week he demanded me to make a presentation which he in this meeting told is complete bullshit without actually reading any of it. He told me 'I am your boss, you do exactly as I say' when I told him something is technologically impossible in the situation we're in. He *actually* told me to break the law with data protection...
This was like wtf dude. That's not how you manage people. So, I made an HR ticket about his behaviour. They were *shocked* and escalated the matter.
Long story short: he was a bully, he's getting fired, my team has a new manager. My workplace actually appreciates my expertise.
Bad thing in this is, now I actually need to continue doing my job. ;_;8 -
According to Fast Company, Apple is more innovative than SpaceX or Tesla. Here’s top 20 according to them:
36 -
Fuck software assurance.
Fuck functional specifications, fuck software requirements, fuck V-model bullshit documentation, fuck integration test plans.
Fuck trying to shoehorn waterfall requirements into what clearly was an interative development.
Fuck me for being a single dev handling all this bullshit by myself.3 -
So I'm sick. But my inner coder tells me that I could atleast do some basic design for my project.
So I go to sit down at my home computer and immediately feel my nose literally start dripping of snot as soon as I lean in to sit. So lile any normal man i take a tissue, wipe and blow my nose and it's now time to login on the computer.
*Wrong password*
Oh, I've must been to quick
*Try again*
*Wrong password*
Wtf?!
*Slowly type my password in*
*Wrong password*
*Fuck it, show password*
A space is missing.
Alright I'll just add it in then.
*Tap spacebar*
*Nothing*
*Tap harder*
*Nothing*
So I rip out the space bar and find a two little drops of snot that must have juuuust fallen between the cracks.
I tried to wipe it away and put the space bar back, but it's dead. :(5 -
Fucking windows! I am so fucking done with this microsoft bullshit!
Hear me out here, i am a gamer. I need windows because it has the games (and software to aid those games) unlike any other platform. But windows 10 is basically already phishing andmalware at this point. I stuck to win 7 because it had a start menu and didn't totally drive me up the wall.
Just a short list of their bullshits: ads in the explorer window, ads in your taskbar reminders, data mining like it is nobodies business and trying to hide it, sharing my wifi access with friends (wtf), the fucking retarded new start menu, the crappy fullscreen apps which have less functionality than the actual proper desktop applications that you need to config what you want, and even then pushing multiple updates that simply broke peoples pc's. Fuck that, ill stick to 7.
They are making win10 worse by the week making it unlikely i will ever join that hell, and they are also aiming to force me there. Making windows store exclusives and dx12 only games. What am i supposed to do against that?! The current releases don't bother me much but fuck i figure it is a matter of time until the newest katamari game is their exclusive and i nanananana katamari damacy all over their platform.
And well all alternative os's are just out of the question unless vulkan rendering gets the upper hand. Then i'd switch to whatever stable distro and learn about our new penguin based overlords languages.
For now i will just stick to win7, suck on my thumb while in fetal position and hope it just all goes away.59 -
Holy fucking dickballs, AWS cloud platform is one of the most UX unfriendly piles of fuckery I have witnessed.
It starts off okay and then you have to use it for many hours a day.
API gateway is assfucked backwards in its layout and how it displays. Why have things go horizontally across the screen rather than flow down so I can scroll. Also when I add a method to a resource why the god damn fuck do I need to select it from the smallest drop down imaginable when you have HALF MY POXY SCREEN TAKEN UP IN LITERAL WHITESPACE NEXT TO IT.
Now I get on to the dynamodb interface whoever designed must have been some form of insane cause it is as clunky as a donkey in clogs.
Finally, Lambda console, look I get it UX is not you strong point. but WHO IS THE SADISTIC FUCKOFF WHO WANTED TO HAVE TWO SCROLLABLE TEXT AREAS THAT CAN NOT BE FUCKING EXPANDED SO I CAN SEE MORE THAN FOUR LINES OF THE FUCKING OUTPUT.
*grumble* 12hrs a day of this bullshit *grumble*12 -
The company I work for has decided instead of building our own CMS (which was mostly done when they killed it), we should instead build a Chrome extension to extend Shopify's admin panel and implement all of the features it was missing. We warned them very thoroughly about how morally wrong this is at it's core and will require a lot of dev time to get this going and has risk of breaking if Shopify changes something in their admin panel. And yet they rely on this more and more every day.2
-
What's the most bullshit marketing term you've heard being used? Something that sounds flashy for a non tech client, but makes absolutely no sense whatsoever.
I just heard "harnessing hyperconnectivity". The fucks that?3 -
No, it's not damaged. Yes, it most definitely can be opened. No, I should not move it to the trash, because I want to open it.
Quit your bullshit Apple and stop telling me what I should do.
5 -
Just updated my LinkedIn summary, included "Design Thinking", "bleeding edge technologies" and "innovation-driven"...
What other phrases can you think of that only exist to play Buzzword-Bullshit-Bingo? :D5 -
Got reminded of this job search bullshit they say after interviews, when they say you're not "fit for the culture" but they want you to be "challenging the status-quo".
Like, take a fucking pick. Either you want someone who follows and fits in, or you want someone who innovates and stands out. 😒6 -
Fucking IT and their self signed corporate proxy SSL bullshit getting in the way of anything that needs to verify SSL requests,
Fuck you for making my day a slow and miserable day and having to resort to forcing rest apis and SDKs to work over HTTP instead, all in the name of “Security”.2 -
rant.GetType() == typeof(long)
I have voiced my unhappiness to the powers that be regarding having to sit in traffic for over an hour to get to work and an hour to get back home, in the hopes that some sort of resolution and compromise can be reached.
The response basically was, "We've never had anyone work from home before and this is very new to us, so we wouldn't know where to start and how to manage this."
Firstly, from what I've heard along the grapevine, someone has worked from home before. In fact, it was a developer... wouldn't you fucking know!
Secondly, you're the manager... FUCKING MANAGE! Yes this is perhaps "new" territory for the company, but it's certainly nothing new to the world. Or maybe I'm wrong?
How's about, rather than fucking "ummm-ing" and "ahhh-ing" about the working from home being a good idea or not, perhaps try saying, "You know what, let's try something for the next 3 months and see how it goes. We sit down and hash out when and how we are going to communicate regarding the work that needs to be done, and when you will need to come in for meetings and the like." If it doesn't work after 2 weeks, oh well... we tried. And if we're still going strong after month 4, I think we have a winner!
Perhaps it's a generational thing, seeing as management are Baby Boomers and I'm a Millennial? Then again, I could be wrong.
The point is that I see a potential solution to my problem that may actually work and benefit both parties, but they're either to fucking set in their old ass ways and stubborn to allow this. Or perhaps it's a thing of "if we do this for you, we have to do it for everyone", which they don't want to do.
But more importantly, they don't seem to get the whole notion of "a happy employee is a productive employee".
6 -
So a coworker made a backup script that asynchronously copies the backup to the remote backup space and then deletes the backup:
scp backup.tgz remote: &
rm backup.tgz
Spot the bullshit.2 -
*Boots PC to enjoy overwatch*
I wanted to see what was new with Cortana for some reason
*Asks Cortana what I can say*
One of the options shows an example
"Turn on High Contrast"
*Clicks the mic/listen button*
"Turn on High contrast"
Cortana responds
"Sorry I can't do that yet"
Wow, I just love voice assistants. Thanks Microsoft!6 -
In an unexpected turn of events, it appears as if years of choosing fancy bullshit over code maintainability will cause said fancy bullshit to eventually break and no obvious way to fix it. There's no way anyone would have seen this one coming.3
-
If I uncheck your, by default checked, checkbox to recieve your marketing bullshit emails on your website.
Don't fucking send me an additional email asking me to subscribe.
Fucking cunts!1 -
I'm really trying to give js a chance. I really wanna get this front end done. But this is just Bullshit.
23 -
That's it, I'm fucking done with this fucking bullshit of a year, really, everyone is fucking dying, just end already11
-
Has anyone ever ordered off RedBubble? Are they even a legitimate company?
Rant...
20 days ago I ordered a package from redbubble.com
They shipped the package, without an apartment number. So the delivery was refused and it was sent back to them.
I reach out to support and they ask me to send them a complete mailing address and my order number.
I send them my exact mailing address and the order number as they requested. They inform me that the package is being sent out again ASAP.
This morning I see that the new package has shipped, WITH NO FUCKING APARTMENT NUMBER.
I email them to let them know this. They inform me that since it has my zip code it will be fine (which is a ridiculously stupid this to say).
So I actually call the post service and ask them if the address will work, they let me know that of course, it will not get to me if there is no apartment. Duh!
So, I email RedBubble support again to let them know this.
I expect some sort of answer as to why this is happening. But the following happens.
They send me a refund.
Let's be clear, I did not as for a refund. I asked for the order I made to be shipped to me.
So it seems that putting an apartment number on a shipping address is completely impossible for this very unprofessional company.
After 2 weeks of bullshit, I will be receiving nothing at all from these shady cunts.
Fuck RedBubble it seems.10 -
I'm gonna fail my now-online uni course. I'm not understanding jackshit.
Fuck this covid bullshit.
Thank you for listening.17 -
When you've been studying development for 5 years and a teacher explain to the class what a curly bracket is and where to find it on the keyboard...2
-
Fucking Asus won't even sell me a battery for my laptop because it would require me to open the back plate of the device. I have to take it to a service centre and pay them to install it!13
-
Wow I didn't realise how much money I could be saving by actually putting things in my dishwasher when I run it.
Mind-blowing right?
I used to just run my dishwasher empty every day for the fun, but now I get clean dishes too 🤯?
What a wonderful age we live in.
Thanks corporate water ad 👍
23 -
Working with Android DatePicker is such a pain in the ass.
You want to have your DatePicker appearing as a SpinnerView? Well, easy!
If you're under API 21, you can use the following method 'setSpinnerViewShown()'. If you're between API 21 and API 23 you need to add some style configuration. And if you're above of API 23 you can't use both of the methods above, you need to create a custom xml with the attribute "datePickerMode" (no, datePickerMode can't be set programmatically, it would be too easy to guess).
If you want to add a listener to it, you think it might be a method called 'setDateChangeListener' or something like this? Well no! You must use the 'init(year, month, day, Listener)' method, logic!
If you think you're finished with this bullshit, of course not. Their is a known bug on API 21 that you must take into account (but this bug isn't fixed, no, it's just documented somewhere on google forums).
I don't know the team that designed the DatePicker for Android, but it might a team of champanzee that randomly changed their minds to the phases of the moon!3 -
I'm in 3rd year of my CS degree....
Fucking Indian Education System
I'm having a subject css(cryptography & system security)... The bitch who teaches us doesn't know shit.... She just picks random words from the ppt & blabber random bullshit...
Last week we had our unit tests...and the question was explain Working of deffie-helman. Just because I didn't use the names Alice & Bob in the example she didn't gave me marks....I mean wtf..that was just an example mentioned in the slides.....
I bet it wasn't required at all...
I knew most of the things they teach here..
These mofo professors have just a CS degree and they are here to teach the same course....10 -
Ok people. If you see a forum with an issue you're having, for the love of fuck, don't post "Omg I'm having that same issue!" Quite frankly, I don't give two shits if you have this issue or not. It's annoying as fuck to have to read through 3 pages of that bullshit to get to the answer for the problem.5
-
The company I work for just followed me on Twitter.
Now I can't just complain about random bullshit happening at work :/8 -
Running a fucking conda environment on windows (an update environment from the previous one that I normally use) gets to be a fucking pain in the fucking ass for no fucking reason.
First: Generate a new conda environment, for FUCKING SHITS AND GIGGLES, DO NOT SPECIFY THE PYTHON VERSION, just to see compatibility, this was an experiment, expected to fail.
Install tensorflow on said environment: It does not fucking work, not detecting cuda, the only requirement? To have the cuda dependencies installed, modified, and inside of the system path, check done, it works on 4 other fucking environments, so why not this one.
Still doesn't work, google around and found some thread on github (the errors) that has a way to fix it, do it that way, fucking magic, shit is fixed.
Very well, tensorflow is installed and detecting cuda, no biggie. HAD TO SWITCH TO PYHTHON 3,8 BECAUSE 3.9 WAS GIVING ISSUES FOR SOME UNKNOWN FUCKING REASON
Ok no problem, done.
Install jupyter lab, for which the first in all other 4 environments it works. Guess what a fuckload of errors upon executing the import of tensorflow. They go on a loop that does not fucking end.
The error: imPoRT eRrOr thE Dll waS noT loAdeD
Ok, fucking which one? who fucking knows.
I FUCKING HATE that the main language for this fucking bullshit is python. I guess the benefits of the repl, I do, but the python repl is fucking HORSESHIT compared to the one you get on: Lisp, Ruby and fucking even NODE in which error messages are still more fucking intelligent than those of fucking bullshit ass Python.
Personally? I am betting on Julia devising a smarter environment, it is a better language already, on a second note: If you are worried about A.I taking your job, don't, it requires a team of fucktards working around common basic system administration tasks to get this bullshit running in the first place.
My dream? Julia or Scala (fuck you) for a primary language in machine learning and AI, in which entire environments, with aaaaaaaaaall of the required dlls and dependencies can be downloaded and installed upon can just fucking run. A single directory structure in which shit just fucking works (reason why I like live environments like Smalltalk, but fuck you on that too) and just run your projects from there, without setting a bunch of bullshit from environment variables, cuda dlls installation phases and what not. Something that JUST FUCKING WORKS.
I.....fucking.....HATE the level of system administration required to run fucking anything nowadays, the reason why we had to create shit like devops jobs, for the sad fuckers that have to figure out environment configurations on a box just to run software.
Fuck me man development turned to shit, this is why go mod, node npm, php composer strict folder structure pipelines were created. Bitch all you want about npm, but if I can create a node_modules setting with all of the required dlls to run a project, even if this bitch weights 2.5GB for a project structure you bet your fucking ass that I would.
"YOU JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU ARE DOING" YES I FUCKING DO and I will get this bullshit fixed, I will get it running just like I did the other 4 environments that I fucking use, for different versions of cuda and python and the dependency circle jerk BULLSHIT that I have to manage. But this "follow the guide and it will work, except when it does not and you are looking into obscure github errors" bullshit just takes away from valuable project time when you have a small dedicated group of developers and no sys admin or devops mastermind to resort to.
I have successfully deployed:
Java
Golang
Clojure
Python
Node
PHP
VB/C# .NET
C++
Rails
Django
Projects, and every single fucking time (save for .net, that shit just fucking works on a dedicated windows IIS server) the shit will not work with x..nT reasons. It fucking obliterates me how fucking annoying this bullshit is. And the reason why the ENTIRE FUCKING FIELD of computer science and software engineering is so fucking flawed.
But we can't all just run to simple windows bs in which we have documentation for everything. We have to spend countless hours on fucking Linux figuring shit out (fuck you also, I have been using Linux since I was 18, I am 30 now) for which graphical drivers for machine learning, cuda and whatTheFuckNot require all sorts of sys admin gymnasts to be used.
Y'all fucked up a long time ago. Smalltalk provided an all in one, easily rollable back to previous images, easily administered interfaces for this fileFuckery bullshit, and even though the JVM and the .NET environments did their best to hold shit down, and even though we had npm packages pulling the universe inside, or gomod compiling shit into one place NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO we had to do whatever the fuck we wanted to feel l337 and wanted.
Fuck all of you, fuck this field, fuck setting boxes for ML/AI and fuck every single OS in existence2 -
Apple: some bullshit quote about being ahead of the competition.
Me: but the iPhone x is legit just following all the trends?1 -
What's worse than a meeting jam-packed with corporate bullshit? An entire day of the same stuff, rebranded as a conference.
-
Class DonaldTrump extends Shit implements Asshole {
public final boolean PRESIDENT = false;
public final String THINKING = "bullshit";
public void talk () {
System.out.println(THINKING);
}
}1 -
Okay. For fuck sakes, writing complex code that's meant to handle "everything" and is "super generic" can be a fuck up. Like just keep shit simple. THAT is the show of great and impressive work. Over engineering is not it. Yes your shit works and yes your shit is fancy but was it needed? How long did it even take you for this over kill? How long will it take the next person to understand or not.
Someone now has to sit and run through your shit to get what you were doing. Instead of just being able to look and once and have it all figured out.
Keep things simple.
Lost 2 hours on bullshit 🤬4 -
Shit recruiters say:
"We need solution experts, not language experts, because a language is just a tool."
Well then, good luck with your spaghetti code solution.3 -
That moment the sales guys ask if a humongous new feature is doable. And doesn't wait for your answer before adding: "Well so you know, I'll already promised it to the client for last week"2
-
Yet another bullshit app to cure your problems that have taken place by not talking to people. No app can give you the comfort equal to talking to a person that cares about you can give. Go talk to some real people ffs.
3 -
How do you guys deal with "senior" devs that want to use you because they're not so "senior"???
Situation:
There's this SR Frontend developer that keeps asking me for "suggestions" to modernize the frontend.
This dev, was asked a very simple ticket involving some JS and CSS.
I had to do the JS and this dev modified a VENDOR CSS (that was all she did)
She logged 3d6h of figuring out the ticket and "doing a bunch of cross browser testing"
I logged 2 hours to see what to do and implementing the change.
Now she is asking me to join in a group so "we" can come up with a plan.
I hate how people bullshit their way up2 -
Fuck. I'm fucking alive. The past month or so has been hectic. I've mainly been working, sleeping, or at school (not like I've showed up much lately anyways, maybe 12 days or so since the middle of February).
!dev
I'm fucking tired.
Bought an FX 8350 with the Wraith cooler for my desktop, got it for $70 when normally it's about $140 or so. Gonna replace the PSU and case when I get paid on Saturday, cause I don't have to pay anything with this check, so it's all to myself. Cut myself putting a heatsink back on my motherboard, still hurts 3 days later.
My "best friend" is still not talking to me. But she's been talking ABOUT me. Oh well. Nothing I can do about it now. I'm done with the whole situation with her. It's just her crying over every little thing.
My rants tend to be about my personal life, and this one is no exception. I just have a lot of shit going on and I need to get it out sometimes.1 -
The updating process on my Arch installation went banana's... Ugh... I wanted to do some coding and not fix this bullshit :(
9 -
What kind of cancerous shit is this? Who the fuck writes special template file for CLOSING divs? Why is this crappy shitty system so popular? It is a bunch of quirky and tangled code written randomly all over the folder.. Wtf seriously, is this "modern coding" or am I missing something?
6 -
Docker I don't have time for your bullshit tonight!
You're supposed to be this safe space where my code runs and neither the code or the god damn container changed.
Don't give me some bullshit about the container either, it's pretty clear docker itself is fucked ...2 -
My december salary is delayed for a year (i’ll get paid around 2 or 3 january).
This broke af fireworks pic is how my new year looks like.
P.S Pic is stolen from facebook
4 -
Am I the only one who hates all of this fucking UEFI bullshit, my hate for Microsoft had decreased, but now I fucking hate it now!
FUCK YOU FUCKING MICROSOFT AND YOUR STUPID SHITTY OS AT LEAST ALLOW ME TO RUN ANOTHER FUCKING OPERATING SYSTEM11 -
Some people are really getting high on this Agile shit. Probably because they learned some new bullshit bingo phrases - and it suits them: lots of vapory talk and expensive meetings and others will have to do the work anyway, while they can circlejerk on how to have shorter iterations to improve the time to market, increase the business value, inspect and adapt to faster deliver a minimal viable product - yeah, do the agile transformation, update to the digital age, you noobs. Throwing around some catchy phrases will let you compete with Google? Maybe need some blockchain or machine learning?
While you are clustering your post its, the coders who keep the ship afloat, sit in their legacy code base that's so bitrot they are mainly doing bugfix releases without a single feature for three fucking years. Consider this.5 -
I can't stand this JS is sooo fast bullshit anymore. You just suck at coding if your code with the most other languages is significantly slower.11
-
client looks on my awsome logo draft and hates it. wants it to look like a 90s logo with a jpg instead of vektor art.
and he is absolute impressed by bullshit cms content-slider landing pages.
sometimes you are forced to do bullshit work that you cant put on your portfolio.2 -
C++ type fuxor we found by accident in our code. I am not upset about allowing 2 different types to have the same type name. I am upset that the compiler thinks they are the same type and allows pointer assignment. I didn't know you could fool the compiler this way. I suppose this might be useful if the types are in sync. But damn, this is kinda fucked.
13 -
Password Rules are bullshit. I am the one to decide what password is safe for me. If even I can't remember my password it's not fucking safe. Morons.
1 -
Fuck deadlines... Here is a mandatory training that is more important even tho it is irrelevant to your role3
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I'm sensing bullshit from far..... Shitty Apple will introduce 'iRant' very soon..... which works in 3D touch ..meh!2
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If a company says that they have no hierarchical structure or they have a flat hierarchy consider that as a definite red flag.
What they basically mean is that Noone is responsible for anything and everyone is going to be passive aggressive towards you if you have any skill at all in fear of losing their *position* in others mind.
There is no growth in such a company.7 -
So I just spent probably 40 minutes wondering why rEFInd wouldn't fucking boot. Config? Nope. Boot partition being stupid? Nope.
Turned out I forgot to copy the fucking ext4 driver over to the ESP.
I'm fucking tired guys.2 -
This website design PSD is bullshit. If I hide the group of layers labeled "Nav" half of the page disappears.6
-
...sincerely?
FUCK YOUR PASSWORDS
FUCK YOUR PASSWORD REQUIREMENTS.
FUCK YOU thinking you are the most important site in the universe so of course everyone will remember their password mangled beyond the original intention/recognition by your idiotic requirements!
I want to have an insecure password? MY PROBLEM.
I want to have the same password everywhere so I don't have to go through the idiotic "forgot my password" dance each time I try to login into your page? MY PROBLEM!
You're not the most important site in the universe.
I'm getting seriously fed up with this idea in general.
WHAT THE FUCK. Why did nobody come up with nothing better yet?
And the password storages and autocompletions don't count, that's a plaster on top of idiotic paradigm, nothing else.
...how is there nothing more sensible, still, after 18+ years?5 -
I would rant, but I am too busy fixing some bullshit and doing content entry. Maybe I will have time next year.
-
Fucking your fucking module allocates fucking memory fucking deallocate the fucking memory in your fucking module.
Don't fucking bullshit me!11 -
Hiring a third party to help us with something...
Third party: yeah okay, we know what we need. Can we get access to your git repo
Me: sure, I'll make sure you'll get it
(To the admins): hey can you get them access to our git server?
Admins: did they sign the personal data processing contract?
Me: oh they won't work with any personal data. It's a dev server and they only need access to the source code. And the usual contracts and NDAs are already done
Admins: well we still need the other one.
... Sure. Why not. Just delays the start of the process for... Like a week and a half until that useless bit of paper has passed through all the necessary departments. Not like time's an issue. Right?8 -
I work with a guy named Ed. Every once in a while I say:
"That's bullshit Ed."
He says:
"Yep" (he always agrees without context)
The other day I asked him if I was saying:
"That's bullshit Ed."
or
"That's bull shithead."
He was amused.3 -
When u see Bullshit u r supposed to call it Bullshit not organically digested grass.
Thank you for your time7 -
Sick and fucking tired of this bullshit.
Previously worked with Laravel, used 'gulp watch' to watch for changes in assets and now they changed things for the better of Laravel Mix as a fucking wrapper for webpack. Now I have to do shit load more stuff to get gulp working, 'cause otherwise my 'npm run watch' shits itself every fucking time I run that shit, doesn't matter what fix is aplied. Battling that bullshit for 3 days now and shit's not working anyhow. Stupid fucking bullshit. Sorry, had to let it out from myself.10 -
I fucking hate corporate environment. We have a weekly meeting in our tech department where a team is chosen at random to present the project they're working on, architecture and such. You know what? We have fucking documents, for both product scope and technical architecture. If you're interested in our work, go fucking read our docs. If you have a question, slack us or send us a fucking email. Why the fuck do I have to attend a 1-hour meeting every week for this bullshit. Oh and some dude from upper management has a brilliant idea: from today they decide to host 2 such meetings per week, 1 within the tech department, and another within the whole company. So we had to attend the same fucking meeting twice in 1 week!!! Fucking genius!
I'm so fucking tired of these meaningless meetings, but attendance is recommended because "this is how you reach staff level" as they told me. Fucking bullshit. I may try a few more years for the sake of financial stability, and then find a small shop where people just leave me the fuck alone with my codes.4 -
can we stop with the "uncertain times" bullshit? that was funny for about a month in 2020, but its two years later now, just stop
fucking zoomers consuming bullshit splat media splat splat anxiety stupid you are a screen splat splat barf splat4 -
What the fuck this fucking shit of an app supposedly went through five rounds of QA and I broke it in 5 minutes? Holy fucking shit How this is the main point of your job. You shitty shits take forever getting this PR to me and now it’s buggier than a haunted house on Halloween?
After this is after wanting to cuss Apple for making me update the os then then xcode then iTunes just to recognize the goddamn development phone. It’s an app built off Cordova it works for like 14 versions of iOS just run the bugger you over priced aluminum chassis dildo riding fruit Fuckers.
Now back to the goddamn cluster fuck I just got delivered. What the goddamn fuck. This level of bullshittery I have not seen before. And apparently Cordova is only partly de-sandboxed? I don’t know for sure because I don’t have time to test it because I’m running the entire technological stack of this company on a junior dev salary!
When you tell me it goes though all this QA and you spend 2 weeks on just QA tickets for fucks sake the first operation I do, the most common fucking operation on the app, the shit we have been building around all this fucking time, should not fucking error out. For fucks sake at least try to get the main fucking thing working. I recognize you did a lot of work and implemented a number of features but what the fuck good are they if I can’t even run them for one fucking time. -
Our prof at university told us at the beginning of the semester, that .NET is the most used framework for web based systems and it would take a big part in this semester. He brought up a statistic, in which .NET filled around 43 %, and wasnt even the most populated one. Nobody seemed to be impressed, that the first information he provided to us, was obviously wrong but okay.. After that I just looked up the statistic and filtered the values for my own country, in which Im "probably" about to work later on. The percentage for .NET in my country was 4 %. I told my classmates, that this guy is talking complete bullshit. Still nobody cared. During semester we learned stuff, that was btw factually wrong. In the end, we didnt even had one lecture about .NET. Now my classmates finally care and are flaming all day about this guy. Didnt expect that... (Irony off)
There is one more story of this ridculous prof that will follow soon :D5 -
"less is more" ... except on a FUCKING STACKTRACE, HOW THE FUCKSHIT FUCK SHITFUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO DEBUG YOUR SHITTARDFUCKED BULLSHIT CODE
-
My boss drives me crazy. He hired me for working on his SDK which is game related. So I am responsible for basically everything, including an ingame UI (menu etc.) and to predict the future path of a game object (unit, minion, ..) when a certain spell is casted on it. For that task I divided the prediction into firstly getting the predicted path of the unit without a spell being casted and then a class that would cast the spell on that path and estimate the units reaction to that cast. Simplified, but that way you get a pretty okayish result. Now he thinks that is too complicated. "Can we not put everything into one class, if someone wants to replace the prediction he needs to read documentation for hours". WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU EXPECT, THAT IT'S GONNA BE SOME ONE CLASS 3K LINES MAGIC??
Same for the GUI. We only have DirectX and don't want to use a framework. Guess what, it's more than one class if you want to seperate view, model, controller or whatever fucking "design pattern" thing you use.
And then Git... he seriously said let's not use branches till release, I feel like they slow down things.. before I was there they did every operation on master.
And if it was just that..
/rant
I put much work into this, time to leave?1 -
Fucking corporate bullshit, I was coding (mostly creating bugs and pulling my hair off) all night on my free time (I'm on night shifts I keep the schedule when I have my days off) and at the moment I was making huge progress on my project, I gotta go to sleep to go back to work 4h later to follow a fucking 2h training on team efficiency and cohesion, in other words, how to waste 2h in a useless meeting and not getting it back + interrupting the only night I was in the zone, I'm so tired of this....2
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I don't know about you, but a double-digit percentage of my swearing aloud while using a computer takes place when a site uses its javascript bullshit to grab my keypresses, so that when I hit the slash key to search the text of the page(something I do A LOT), it instead moves my focus to their own search field, where I will be halfway through typing before I see that the hijacking has taken place. Today I wondered if this was annoying to anyone else, and found that yes, yes it is. Maybe it annoys you too, so here.
https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/...6 -
I hate corporate doublespeak.
A CTO was fired after 2 years at the position because he insisted on some projects that didn't stick and were not profitable for the company. The word spread throughout the corridors that he was destroyed by the CEO in a board meeting, and soon after he left. The HR sent an e-mail right away for the entire IT sector THANKING him by "the invaluable effort in bringing in important projects to the company that raised the tecnology to the next level".
Oh, come on.3 -
Fuck you NXP and your market-penetrating proprietary bullshit solutions where there's plenty of standards around.
That's all. Have a nice weekend. -
I fucking hate pulling overtime because of deadlines. Already 4 hours overtime this week. Private life: zero.
Frustrated!10 -
Hetzner. Very cheap no nagging, no support bullshit, Lots of options, Just does what it does.
Did I mention their pricing?6 -
Started a new job on Monday. STILL DON'T HAVE ACCESS TO THE FUCKING SERVERS I NEED TO ANYTHING. Holy fucking shit I'm annoyed. Fuck you corporate bullshit. I already feel like quitting.3
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Ken Thompson. Zero ambition but incredible achievements. Bottom up programmer, no bullshit, and a great sense of humor.
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What the fucking fuck is this bullshit?!
I feel like most journalists don't even have brains.
I wake up and I can't fucking turn my head or move my arms so I try to turn on TalkBack with my left hand since I can't fucking see what's on the damn screen of my phone. I google something along the lines of "jammed neck muscles" and as I am in so much pain that I am involuntarily crying I start to search for some way to limit the pain. "Jammed neck muscles? Try these few steps!", you open the page and they proceed to put 10 pages of non-sense in front of the actual steps - every single fucking article. DO THESE PEOPLE HAVE THE IQ OF A CENTIPEDE?!! After 12 minutes of this shit that I had to listen to I just said fuck it and somehow managed to throw myself off the bed and onto the ground - where I landed on all four and was somehow able to stand up and grab some Theraflu forte(apparently paracetamol is the best cure for jammed neck muscles and I know that there are 1000mg of it in one packet of theraflu) from my cardboard box full of meds.4 -
What the absolute fuck is this!
Fucking bash needs to get its shit together with its fucking strings.
I don't fucking know why str1 + var2 = var2tr1
Like who designed this fucking bullshit!
I've spent the past 8 hours today counting all my ' and " and making sure everything is getting passed correctly.
And how do you even google this shit anyways!
And why the fuck is the official suggestion from the bash FAQ to load everything into an array and to call it with "${ARRAY[@]}"
WHO THE FUCK DECIDED THAT WAS READABLE!!
AUGH!!!
In case anyone was wondering. It didn't work anyways.
I think I'm done for today... I can't anymore...
for anyone wondering. This is bash getting executed by nodejs with execSync()
and those tokens are temporary and only exist on my dev machine. Sorry for getting your hopes up.
11 -
Can anyone tell me what’s that “cultural appropriation” bullshit is all about? What does it mean to appropriate some foreign culture?24
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Fuck those assholes that screw with production apps in emulators and spam me with 13+ bullshit Crashlytics reports.
-
So, in Germany apprentices at companies need to file a "Berichtsheft".
It's a thing where you have to file, for each day that is, what you did at work or in job college and how long you did it.
Basically every company keeps records of their employees activities in their CRM or other management system and all schools use services for keeping timetables that include lesson duration and activity.
So why the fuck do we apprentices have to write that shit ourselves when we could literally just acces the databases and SELECT THE SHIT FROM FILED_ACTIVITIES, I thought.
So I'm writing scripts to acces our CRM database and a puppeteer script now that scrapes the Untis (online timetable service for schools) timetables to extract everything, group it by date and format it nicely as CSV.
I'm sick of this: Digital system & Digital system = write it yourself bullshit.
Once I'm done I'll make a github repo for the Untis scraper.
Also, I'll be making the tools usable for the other apprentices at my company to spare them the suffering.9 -
Was tired of all the bullshit on Facebook and quora. Accidentally discovered this forum. Hoping to like it !6
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Oh man. When I look for a job after I'm done with school, I need to watch out for those "pay-per-line" bullshit contracts. More lines? Everyone can do that, but it will cause inefficiency just for the money. I could make a fucking Python Hello World program have 100 needed lines if I wanted to, but why would I? More lines = more typing ≠ more work.3
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That moment you call a php curl script to download files handed to it from a python script because the http request in python somehow get blocked by corporate bullshit, but you also need access to MS products for this script to work, which you can't do in PHP.
# FML
# Corporate "Security" is bullshit
# Fail, Adapt, Overcome9 -
With all this sexuality bullshit going on with devRant, it feels like covid all over again to me. We just rid of covid and now we face a couple of variants of it.
Keep your junk in your trunk and let the bullshit end55 -
God bless Silenz App for Mac, I can listen to music and stay aware of the bullshit discussion around me.
https://silenzapp.com/1 -
Ugh, I hate having to port data from windows to Mac. I myself use Linux and windows. My mom got her first Mac for her birthday, but she needed her 200gb of pictures on I cloud. So I thought it would be like Dropbox, put them in a folder or start an upload and then it processes and is on the cloud. NO. It’s a hellscape as Apples windows programs are awful and I’m ashamed they exist. There is no indication of when they have successfully uploaded, you just have to figure it out. It also doesn’t help when macOS Is oversimplified. Ugh. I ended up taking my terabyte external and having to wait 3 hours for files to transfer and put those on the MacBook. I hate I cloud more than comic sans. I know Dropbox isn’t great or even good for security reasons, but it’s a hell of a lot better than I cloud BULLSHIT.
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The University Struggle: when you want to actually code and learn your major but you have an English essay, a Spanish project, chemistry homework, and a book to read all within two days.
.
.
.
Not to mention my actual computer science classes don't teach anything useful in terms of programming6 -
Need to finish a demonstration ASAP as I'm already behind schedule.
(don't judge me ಠ_ಠ)
Start working, laptop restarts for fuck knows why and doesn't wanna log in.
Now this..
THANKS MICROSOFT!
5 -
If I had some reliable metric to measure bullshit per file, let's call it BPF, I believe the number would be highest on average for files named "gulpfile.js"1
-
Rant
I was given a project to lead and develop with 2 other team members by the co-founder, I was told that I will need to deliver an initial demo within 30 days, 20 days in the project and I was told yesterday that they need a final release ready within the next 10 days !! Not just that but the co founder decided to assign one of my team members to another project!!!
I've worked today till 4am.
Guess who's working from home in the morning!6 -
It is approximately 42 degrees C outside. And guess whose fucking compressor just went to shit? Mine. Fucking piece of shit. I absolutely fucking hate this shit. Finding the time to go to the shop is pointless when I can fix it myself, but IN the fucking event that the compressor is actually faulty and needs to be replaced then I would have to struggle to wait for the fucking part to get here. If my luck permits and this is an issue that is fixable through a simple relay change then fucking hooray.
But I know how fucking shitty my fucking luck is and its going to fuck me in the ass probably. I will troop through the heat, no problem, but I am the one that carries my 2 year old daughter everywhere and I am not about to put her through that bullshit.
So I call my wife and explain to her the situation, I don't need for her to do fucking anything, I can take care of it myself, but I tell her NOT to have me go out on random bullshit with the girl while the car is like that, I did it to make her understand beforehand because every day is an additional 1 and a half hours of driving around the city to take her do bullshit. I told her that in the event of me needing to go pick something up then it would have to be after the fucking sun goes out(which in this fucking bullshit ass town it happens after fucking 7 or 7:30pm) and she would have to stay home with the girl. What does she do? she gets upset. Of course she got fucking upset. Like if I need that fucking bs right now. OH and my fucking main Linux machine is apparently having battery issues.
OAN my manager gave me my performance review yesterday. The she made are outstanding and my score is perfect. The board is going to give a raise to everyone of us that got an high enough score so that got me in a good mood. I am holding on to that feeling before I lose my shit. Every single fucking time some bs puts me in this mood I am constantly wishing that a motherfucker would.
Fucking bullshit man. Can't have a FUCKING break anyfuckingwere.
This just in on an episode of Murphy's fucking law.4 -
When I only want to code, but university LaTeX bullshit burns my time 😭 they dont even have clear rules.
Not to mention that their formatting rules make my work look like shit I would never read myself.5 -
Do I want to "block out some time to discuss synergies?"
No, thank you, I would rather eat my own knob.2 -
Anyone else tired of the good old "Python 3.x will never be useful blahblahblah everyone uses 2.7 yadayadayada" bullshit?3
-
When it is Friday and you want to be productive, but you have spent the entire time since sitting down at work fixing Visual Studio and its bullshit.1
-
I'm getting pretty tired of all those fuck faces calling themselves "evangelists" and are talking constantly and euphorically about "digitalisation" and "industry 4.0", as if their "skills" (using a smartphone to share kitten videos and making pointless PowerPoint slides using stock images showing some stupid motherfucker with VR goggles making weird gestures) would help them to rise to the pinnacle of "the future" (as conceived by them), while those stupid shit heads are exactly those we'll get rid of first as soon as somebody develops a bullshit generator AI for technobabble (with an export function to PowerPoint), putting those morons out of business for good.1
-
Project manager asked me to directly communicate with our client.
BUT, he told me what to say and what not to say.
BULLSHIT! All of these business "etiquettes" and formalities are just a waste of time for both the clients and us.
If only I could, I would simply cut all these nonsense and just communicate honestly.2 -
How to sell a useless product
Include those words: #blockchain #cloud #AI #chatbot #machine_learning #bullshit ..2 -
So I saw a blurb about AlphaCode from DeepMind. I went to look at their website:
https://alphacode.deepmind.com/
What I see is the most insanely detailed spec for code I have ever seen in my life. I haven't even seen college programming problems this detailed before. Most specs "I" get are like one or two sentences long "if" it is even written down. A lot of the time the direction is: write some stuff and we will tell you what we hate. Just figure it out.
So DeepMind is claiming they can produce code as well as the average programmer because they ranked 54% in a coding competition. What a complete misleading claim and absolute bullshit conclusion. I am all for creating new tech around generating code, but this is just to sell snake oil to an idiot manager at a startup.
This is going to lead to some really fucked up rants here at devrant.6 -
Spending all morning working on personal projects cause the work your boss gives you is bullshit lol1
-
You would think that one might get used to the following scenario, but it still pisses me off every time it happens. I'm getting a design created by the customer that is specific to a pixel-level. The product I create in turn is very close to a 100% match visually and functional. And then a few days later, the work already done, I get renewed versions of the same designs. Just like that. With all those nooks and crannies replaced and new ones added, as if it didn't took time, effort and experience to make them functional in the first place. And no one blinks an eye. Not the customer, not our project managers. So after having me built you intricate card board house, you just smash it and tell me to rebuild? It's not always a huge deal but it happens so often and I guess it's part of the "customer is king" mentality, but it's bullshit. If the customer hands in a final design, then that's it. Any changes afterwards need to be paid extra. Otherwise it feels like I'm wasting my time and those changes will not get the same quality treatment for sure.1
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Im currently doing my first project as a junior dev. I'm working with asp.net core and I had only used regular asp.net before. The project owner who was the guy that used to own the company I work for had only asked me if i was versed in asp.net and said that it was what I was going to work with. So from the start I'm a little bumed out. The difference isn't enourmous, but still.
First day, he says that we are going to use TFS for version handling (god damnit) then he says he has started a bit and has done the first push... And we're missing files. But he's asleep by the time i do the pull (9 hour timezone difference).
Next day he has gotten all the files up and I also get to know that I will be working alone and still have to use TFS.
A few days later he tells me I'm gonna present the first version the next week...
Oh, and did I mention that this is for one of the biggest companies in the world that the very top managers will use. Including CEO, cto etc4 -
I already HATE Laravel, and I haven't even got it working yet. I have now wasted 3 days on this bullshit
14 -
This "rootless" OS X El Capitan security feature is bullshit for developers. Just found that one out the hard way.2
-
So I got reprimanded for some error on a site. I proved that this was a back end problem and that this has nothing to do with me (I'm just a front end dev). Didn't get a single apology, the dev who broke the thing got off scot free and now i have to work overtime while they publish the changes to test them
-
What is some career advice you've received, potentially from someone you respected at the time, that has since turned out to be complete and utter bullshit?9
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Him/Her/It/She/They bullshit!!!
We all know what you are, we are not blind. Get over the public self jerking.22 -
Okay so I’ve been brought in on a 12 month contract as an external replacement integration architect, alongside a large IT consulting firm. Turns out, they don’t need an integration architect. So I fill my time coming up with useful tools around the project that deal with all the missing parts in their MVP: like monitoring tools, data mocking tools, you get the idea. Essentially doodling.
Client has woken up to fact that they’ve overspent by X million, employing 30+‘developers’, 20+ ‘testers’, n+ ‘managers’ on a ‘low-code’ project … result: project shuts 4 months early.
Q: Essentially client wants remaining four months work done in two weeks. Is there a German word for laughing, crying, and banging the forehead on the desk at the same time?
Supplementary: how cross will client be when they realise project can indeed be done, and that consultancy have been emperor’s-new-clothing them for most of the last two years?
(Feel free to perform substitution on quoted terms at your leisure)2 -
So I'm making a little CMS for a website generated by iWeb from Apple which is ofcourse shit. I just discovered that they include a 6000 lines javascript file with nu purpose except generating the menu from a feed.xml(which includes to other js files). And the most frustrating thing is that it lowers fontSize if you add more text than the viewport. Fucking hell. I'm looking for a way to dismantle this shit.
-
!programming related
The karman line is bullshit.
If you aren't at escape velocity for your local planet's gravity well, then you aren't in fucking space.
Blue origin is a lie.9 -
Has anybody ever had to deal with migrating a tomcat webapp to a jboss server? It's fucking bullshit.
-
Are there any official definitions for the terms Software Developer and Software Engineer? Today a friend told me He got a raise and he's now a software engineer and no longer "just" a software developer (still at the same company).
To him and me that sounds like bullshit bingo at its best. His tasks and responsibilities will still be the same after the change of his job title.
So I'm wondering whether anyone here knows of some objectively defined distinctions between the two job titles. To me and my friend those are just the same. I never even thought anyone would make a distinction between the two4 -
I've never had to put up with bullshit after bullshit after FUCKING BULLSHIT IN MY LIFE
ONE THING GOES WRONG SO I MOVE ON TO SOMETHING ELSE OH SHIT I LOST THE CORD, FOUND IT, DOESNT WORK, FIX THAT, "COULD NOT EXPAND FILESYSTEM PLEASE TRY RASPI CONFIG" BLAH BLAH. I WAKE UP THINKING TODAY WILL GO SMOOTHLY BUT LINUX DECIDES TO FUCK ME OVER THEN I TRY TO GO TO THE PI BUT LITERALLY EVERYTHING I TRY TO DO JUST REFUSES TO WORK6 -
Back in the days, i was on my way back home, after visiting my wife who brought our little son to life, it once blew my mind.
The terminology "inherit" is complete bullshit.
Why is that?
Because, a child isn't able to do anything the parents can, immediately.
It has to learn every single ability from it's parents or who knows else.
Maybe a kid won't be able to learn a specific ability from it's parents at all.
Furthermore, a child doesn't have a single parent.
There are always mom and dad.
Ok. Besides that, there is the option of a solo parentship, if a woman decides to breed based on frozen code ;) -
This entire project. Be glad when it’s over. Remind me never to volunteer for this front-end bullshit again... ☹️2
-
The install will take about one more minute…
*go make a cup of tea, pack for holiday, go on holiday, return from holiday*
Ah still installing for one more minute my old friend…3 -
My biggest challenge is not telling the people who wrote code I get to maintain that it is a big pile of shit. My fear is I will forget I wrote said code and proceed to complain about said code. Then someone will point it out that I wrote said code. So it is kind of a self preservation strategy.
Also, in meetings, when my boss calls something a "piece of software", I have to refrain from giggling.3 -
Starting up my iPhone 4s to test something
Low battery, I plug it in
It charges, I put it down and let it download an app,
after 5 mins it starts making the sound of unplugging/replugging, something with the cable or the phone is broken, when I was with iphones, these cables were so bad, didn't matter if from Apple or third party
Fucking cables always broke on me
Since Android I never broke a single one, olf micro USB still holding up fine
I guess usb C is even better, but micro serves me a lot better than any fucking apple bullshit cables1 -
So from now on 5% of my software dev performance will be related to DEI and I'll have to attend "trainings". Aside from the fact that it is complete BS, how does this have anything to do with software engineering and why is it so arbitrary, vague and hypocritical in general?
I'll summarize your goddamn 5%: don't be an asshole. Can I start working for real now?
Sounds pretty great for an american company that hires people offshore on the cheap and that treats them lowkey like second-hand slaves? But that's ok because life in their country would be worse without a job so we are "helping" them. How generous.
How low can corporate culture (if you can even call it that) go?3 -
Meetings are the way of parasites to keep shining without doing shit. Why do they gave to drag me into their bullshit meeting?!$&
2 -
GraphQL is the worst "invention" ever, it is more effort to create the fucking queries including nesting, references, variables etc. FUCK THIS SHIT.
This is just another one of these "oooouuuuu look at us wE UsE GrAPHql!11!!" bullshit things that make daily work sucky. Thanks Facebook (fuck you too).13 -
When your computer illiterate supervisor takes the credit for how great your development and delivery strategy is.
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I have spent the last 2 days on the phone trying to get support for certain issues...
- Amazon
- Quickbooks
- CRA
It is universal that all support lines are complete garbage. Shitholes for stupid people to get paycheques.
I have noticed that this task has actually had a negative impact on the emotional state and it upsets me further that I have allowed this.
I am getting a virtual assistant to handle this because frankly, my time is too valuable to be consistently wasted by stupid people delivering no results.
"I am a software engineer and have tried all the normal debugging techniques"
"Did you try restarting it?"
"Yes, that was the first thing I did..."
"Well, would you mind doing it again"
"Yup... It did not work"
"Hmmmmm....."
5 minutes of silence...
"Have you tried the next step that you already read on our support site"
"Yes!"
"Could you try it again for me?"
"FFFFUUUUUCCCCKKKK YYYOOOOOUUUUUU!!!!"
I am literally listening to someone who is reading the god damn support page (and reading it at what seems to be a 3rd-grade level) GREAT!!!! -
Is this just bullshit or did they actually pull this off?
https://patents.google.com/patent/...
They just trying to patent other people's work before they discover it? I really hate it when they patent shit they didn't even make.11 -
Customer calls
Talking about some new feature he haven't totally thought about. so i tell him to think about it.
Talking about a bug, but can't reproduce it.
Talking about another enormous new feature but halt it after hearing the initial estimation.
Total time waster = 1.5 hours for every day.
DON'T LET CUSTOMERS WASTE YOUR DEVELOPMENT TIME.
instead of talking - use project tracking software (i.e. JIRA) -
All the contractors have to take furlough for the holidays, but the company spends the money to buy a bunch of $1300 televisions for no better reason than corporate vanity.
I'm sure the softs think it's the greatest thing ever though.
-
var self = this;
if (args != null) args = Array.from(args);
return function(){
return self.apply(bind, args || arguments);
};
no wonder nobody likes js. this is not js. this is shit.5 -
If people at work spent half as much time working as they did posting articles in teams channels about “strategy” and then congratulating each other on finding said articles, we’d actually get some work done.
-
Lead dev asks me to take on the restful api aspect to a new internal tool UI I have been building. Happy for the challenge, I spend the 4 days (half of that in my own time), writing out 1k lines of C# that I endeavoured to keep clean, thoroughly decoupled and something I can be proud of.
I give regular updates.
This morning he responds to my last update “we already have most of that code in place”.
This stuff happens a lot. Back of a fagpacket planning and then cries all around when it INVARIABLY goes wrong.
Does this kind of bullshit happen in a properly organised, Agile team? We are about to take on a huge project and frankly I want to save myself the ballache and go find a well oiled team if what I am witnessing isnt just how things are in software land, but as I rather suspect a product of lack of communication and organisation.1 -
When the only thing that standing between you and finishing your app is WebRTC!
BAHHHHHHH, I don't know why, but this thing is kicking my butt. Spent like 2 weeks now trying to get it... Anyone on the community got any good links for how to use this? Because I am losing my mind here D:4 -
Don't you hate when you wanna install arch on your 6 year old laptop but it turns out it's uefi when you have already made partitions that is ext4 when you should have made it fat and then when you remove the partitions and do everything all over again you get some bullshit error when trying to use arch-chroot!
-
Android Crash is Fucking Bullshit Ever on this Earth Planet.
I really Hate these Number of Versions and Bullshit Incompatibility between each one.
It is Just a Shit Developed on Java.
The Crash Really Fucks the eyes of Developer.
And Fucking Bullshit Errors are not Even visible, Sometimes the shit goes so worst that it does'nt even give the Line Number where error Exists.
Worst OS Developed for Mobile on This Planet.
Anyone getting into these development i suggest IONIC is Best to start instead of Coding Native Bullshit Android.
If anyone knows how to see the realtime errors besides Logcat and Firebase Error please let me know.
11 -
HP Fortify is utter bullshit vaporware and the fact that it has any influence on my development cycle is soul crushing.1
-
That feeling you get when you realize an aesthetically beautiful design is going to get replaced by something uglier because of marketing bullshit.2
-
HIRE A FUCKING QA AND GIVE TIME TO DEVELOPERS TO BUILD. DONT GIVE ME YOUR BULLSHIT ABOUT HOW THINGS ARE BREAKING.3
-
Dear Gfycat, why in the seven fucks do your direct links not work with lowercase letters?
https://gfycat.com/oblongobedientca... works just fine but https://giant.gfycat.com/oblongobed... crashes and burns because 3 letters in the user's name are uppercase?
Now I have to find a way to hack my way out of this bullshit in my app. Thanks, you cunts.7 -
Marketing software is similar to being a Sommelier bc it’s all about just making fancy bullshit up.3
-
This jobhunting with recruiters is such bullshit. Haha. I'm gonna troll my way away from them fuckwits.1
-
When you're having to add BS/hackey conditionals to your code because the other dev is too damn lazy to fix their code.
-
I always put my work and tasks in a queue..
But with time that queue becomes Priority Queue with elements of my choice only.
Fuckin bullshit happen always -
methinks that a choice of surroundings is really a question of how crass or sophisticated the bullshit people spout sounds.
'we the connoiseurs of the poser pod people, demand a more finely grained variety of bullshit'
its like listening to someone trying to sell you a really bad tech device. -
Got an SMS inbound: "Please get in remote control into my laptop before the boat leaves in 3 minutes and I lose Wi-Fi signal, I need an username/password written in [the Windows UAC prompt]"
I was on my lunch break, and saw the message a too late. -
MySQL Innodb easily get crashed, bullshit, I just restarted my server now all databases get corrupted. F*ck you OVH3
-
Coming up with tests that show we have met the requirements on the project, some of the requirements are "Use method X" to perform this computation, boss says "we can't simply refer to the documentation/source code demonstrating that this method is used" ... WTF....
-
Do you think bullshit beats actual skills?
Would you build a bullshit resume to get your dream job?15 -
"Software" such as Yoast SEO, by Yoast is the reason people hate WordPress.
Fuck Yoast SEO, fucking bugged crapware piece of horseshit.2 -
MPLABX, eclipse and netbeans are biggest pieces of shit software in the world, fucken a I can’t stand this slowness, over bloat, locking up, and the unable to resolve bullshit,
(Porting a suppliers project and build script over to a simple makefile, and so the project can open and build in sublime or vim rather these other bullshit IDES9 -
RIP GitHub
Take a service I like and pay for, a service that is about open source and collaboration, and sell it to a company that is complete garbage and has for years been hated for selling garbage overpriced software that is just terrible.
I’m not looking to argue about Windows (it’s garbage no matter how much you want it not to be) but Microsoft as a company is just not a fit for GitHub.
I’m not stupid though, I see the goal. The goal is that old school, shitty emperor use software teams will be more likely to use GitHub if it is owned my MS. On the same way that many of them force their employees to use garbage Windows machines because “it’s what we have always done”.
GitHub will become another shitty service that some people argue is good based on their ignorance
Of other options. This is sad.
TLDR: I fucking dislike this acquisition entirely and will immediately remove all private repos from GitHub and cancel my subscription on Monday if it is announced.2 -
As if development problems weren't enough, there's also bullshit deployment problems to deal with first. Sigh.
-
FML so I have recently learned I am mandated (nodoby asked me if I wanted to do it, management just assumed I would) to help and train an offshore SQA team with 10 hours of jet lag to automate their tests on physical hardware because everything they do is manual and their environment is all mocked including hardware... there is barely any doc on how they test their shit or on what they even do. I need them to show me their shit work on goddamn zoom. And then once I manage to do this by some fucking miracle, I need to show them how to take over my already automated project.
Dudes cannot even code, how the fuck am I supposed to do this? Worse is I was told I can't impose our tested infrastructure and libs on them because "we have to give them flexibility" or some bullshit.
Fucking pay cheaply 5 people offshore to get fuck all done and then put the weight on my shoulders when you are surprised it does not work? You bunch of management fucks, eh?
Lucky I am getting some shiny offers elsewhere.3 -
GitHub: "This branch has conflicts that must be resolved" stop bugging me with your @dependabot bullshit!
-
You dipshits! Yet again...
- use contract X from team WeJustFuckUp
- WeJustFuckUps tell me I "used the contract with the wrong semantics"
- What the fuck how is that possible!? Explain to the fuck ups that if it's the wrong semantics then it shouldn't be documented. Ask what right semantics is... They do not support their own correct semantics...
Fuck you! Just say you fucked up and come to me with a new contract!
Two weeks pass, new contract breaks half the functionality... And they ask me: "is it a problem? Can't you use it as is?"
Now listen here you pile of elephant dung, you have an unresponsive system with an unscalabe architecture... You have twisted contracts and you come to me to fix them!? I have more to do then to babysit your assess!
I am so tired of your bulshit... You are a bunch of prairie dogs hitting keyboards and call yourself developers!? My dog is a better developer, he at least does not break he's own software and when he takes a massive dump he owns it...
I am this close to making a request of changing your work computers to an abacus! It's all you can handle...
Fuck off! You are waste of resources and your parents should be spanked!!
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