Scene: Senior developer left, 3 Junior devs(including me) are now loaded with work.

*Intern asks for help*

JuniorDev1: I have 2 projects of which i'm the lead on one. I don't have time to help anyone.
JD2: 2 projects as well dude, speak to me after work, much easier then.
Me: 3 projects, lead on two. Sure how can i help you.

Took less than 5 minutes to help the intern.

2 hours Later. Check in meeting

PM: Our Junior devs are really busy and can't always help you guys. JD1 are you overloaded?

JD1: Yes, is their anyway we can split the one projects work?

PM: Sure. JD2 are you overloaded?

JD2: Not really, but i agree on splitting the projects between the three of us.

Me: *Are these fuckers serious? i have three projects, they have 2 and they wanna give me more work because they are overloaded and don't know how to manage their time*

PM: Ok cool, i'll update it. CooCooK4Choo, i see you building your own game during lunch time. You definitely not overloaded.

Me: Actually! what i do in my lunch time is my own personal work because it's the only time i have to work on personal projects. I actually do feel overloaded with the 3 projects and now more work from them, could we split the work load evenly please.

PM: I thought you said you could handle the 3 projects?

Me: I can, i have been, but with more work coming my way i don't think i'll be able to.

PM: Unfortunately i need the other Junior Devs on demand, so i won't be able to split the work load evenly.

Me: On demand for what? Why not let the interns help?

PM: In case i need their help. The interns are helping the other Junior Devs with things that don't require too much out of them.

Me: *This FUCKEN BITCH!* Cool, I'm done with the 1 project, expect the business rules at the end of the day. I'll see if i can get the other 2 near done by Friday so i can have time to look over the code of the new projects that i'll be splitting with the other Junior Devs.

PM: Cool, glad we all on the same page.

You know what? FUCK this stupid shit of favoring people in the FUCKEN work place.
This is my first full-time job ever, I've been here for a full year today and i can honestly say these people are just giant children with money. I should know, out of work i am a giant child, but from 8:00 - 16:00 i'm a FUCKEN adult.

So everyone is sharing their work again, so here is mine.
And no 6 monitors, 1 pc isn't overkill.

Well...

Maybe...

But just a little!

Usually, one is spotify, one iChrome, one development (center bottom), one execution of dev, one email&facebook split and one documentation.

Me: While Debugging, split personality helps me a lot

Also me: well said bro

Client presentation. Analyst is working from home. She stands up for a split second and reveals she is not wearing pants.

A customer did send a 3GB+ .txt file to the database guy in my office. He (senior dev) starts ranting about how he should handle this since his tools failed to do whatever he had to with this data.
After seeing him struggle some time I did a short search (I'm apprentice since 4 months) and then told him to use "split -l".

After our Head Of Software has terminated.

I started to take control over our development crew. And in this year I did more then the old head in the last 6 years.
- Swapped from plain old SVN to Gitlab.
- Build a complete autonomous deployment with Gitlab.
- Introduced code reviews.
- Started to refactor the legacy product with 500.000 lines of code...
- learned how to use confluent apache kafka and kubernetes to split the legacy project in many small and maintainable one.(not done yet)
- Last 3 weeks I learned how to use elasticstack with kibana and co. That we aren't blind anymore. Big dashboards are now shown in the middle of the room :) and maybe convinced my coworker that we use unity3d for our business application cause of support for all devices and same design on them. And offline capabilities. (Don't know if this was my best idea)
When I look back, I'm proud to did that much in one year alone. And my coworkers are happy too that they have less work with deployments and everything.
But I can't decide what's the title for this. System or Software Architect cause I litterallity did both :/

When you copy a big answer from StackOverflow and it works perfectly, but then you feel bad for a split second that you just copied the whole thing and didn't do anything creative :(

Since I started reading devRant the productivity of our team dropped a 20%(we are 3 people). Yesterday one of my teammates asked me what was going on and I showed him devRant.

I don’t think we will survive next split.

I was a little too harsh on a colleague today.

He asked to help him get something working... After looking at it for a bit, I asked: "I don't get it, what have you been doing all day? Yesterday we split this element into two separate divs, and it worked perfectly, now I've see you've moved all the styles back to the container and there's only one div. The easiest way to get this to work properly is to simply undo everything you've done today."

He looked at me with puppy eyes and I realized I was too harsh. He wasn't _trying_ to break everything, he just hadn't understood why we split the element into two divs. So I lowered my tone a bit, and explained everything again, from the start, then did it again together with him and made sure he understood the separation.

But I still feel bad for how I talked to him. It's not like I shouted or cursed or anything (and I curse a _lot_ when talking about code). It was just condescending as fuck, and belittling. As if I was mocking him for not being as experienced as I am.

I'll do better next time.

Yesterday Gitlab had severe issues.
Somehow their database replication had split and ALL of the traffic went over one server.
I absolutely love how transparent they were about this issue and that they shared what exactly they were doing.

I just shat my pants:

I accidentally typed "ebay.vom", and I was redirected to "navigation.nsgnav.com" before sending me to "ebay.com".

In that split second, I thought it redirected me to some "nsa.gov" server.

I almost set my laptop on fire and ran to Mexico.

The real reason that i started using split keyboards

A completely normal workday.

Until suddenly... the Internet was gone. Like completely gone.

Out of nowhere the head of network administration appears right beside me, yelling completely over-pitched straight into my ear "WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY ALL SERVICES ARE OFFLINE? WTF HAPPENED TO THE CONNECTION?..."

He disappeared as fast as he had arrived. With my ears still bleeding I got myself a cappuccino.

Several hours later the Internet was back. At the construction site infront of the headquarter the Internet cable was cut.

Wait. What about a second backup cable? It exists. Unfortunately both cables split only after the construction site.

You had one job anonymous engineer...

A message to all Android developers:

MAKE YOUR APP SUPPORT SPLIT SCREEN.

Sincerely, a pissed off multitasker.

I always hate going back to C++ after using JavaScript for long periods of time. I'm always like, "Fuck I just wanna split this string!"

Boss comes in and gives me some js code for syncing data (he hacked it together the other day, really messy with like 5 callback lamdas stacked into each other)

Boss: Make it faster and more reliable and add some progress indicator

So i look at the code and he literally pulls all the data as one json (20+ MiB). Server needs multiple minutes to generate the response (lots of querys), sometimes even causing timeouts....

So i do what everyone would do and clean up the code, split the request into multiple ones, only fetching the necessary data and send the code back to my boss.

He comes in and asks me what all this complexity is about. And why i need 5 functions to do what he did in one. (He didn't -.-). He says he only told me to "make it faster and show progress" not "to split everything up".
So I ask him how he wants to do this over HTTP with just one request...
His response: "I don't care make it work!".

Sometimes i hate my job -.-

I'm gonna start a software company and cleverly split up the work into pieces so that I can present them to potential employees as "coding challenges" during the interview and never actually hire them.

SUPERVISOR: You wrote this 140 lines method, it's too long. You should split it up, it's not readable
IHateForALiving: Bruh be serious, this is a single switch-case; I can't split it.
SUPERVISOR: Fine, I'll do it.

HIS CODE: He split the 140 lines method into 2 methods: the first is 4 lines long; it's a try-catch surrounding a call to the other method, 136 lines long.

root@gf # date; mv gf $HOME; watch movies; touch; split; finger; unzip; fsck; touch; fsck; yes; yes; fallocate -l20M "cream"; zip; sleep

Happy Valentine's Day everyone 😉

My teacher at school who taught me programming. We were taught Java.

You see, Java is not a beginner's language, most say. But the way she taught it, the examples, the analogy, the explanation; she made it so easy.

She made us execute our first Hello World program (using BlueJ) and proudly said, "you're all programmers now!", that was when fascination took me over. I remember​ that moment till today.

Also, unlike regular exams, the programming exams required extreme competency. Marks were split up for algorithm and syntax. There were also questions like find the error in this algorithm for this output. She would always surprise us at the exams!

I had several glorious moments in class by being the first to answer most of her questions. At 13, it was kind of a big deal for me.
(Okay, who am I kidding, it still is :-P)

*sigh*

It was mostly just self learning from there. I switched schools and then there was college. Attending classes in college was like going to the gym with fat trainers. Utterly useless :-/ It just made me appreciate her even more.

So, our SMART Dean decided to have the collage WiFi MONITORED instead of blocking INAPPROPRIATE sites as blocked sites are easy to tackle...
What we did? Hosted a site using free hosting server with codes to simply get INAPPROPRIATE videos, split, and rename them and change the extension to PDF...
OUR COLLAGE WI-FI IS EXPERIENCING HUGE DOWNLOADS OF EBOOKS NOW!!! 😎😎😎😎

What do you guys think of my office? I do all my web dev work on a monitor mounted above my bed using my split Infinity Ergodox keyboard / trackpad. Probably the most lazy / ergonomic / comfortable / geeky setup possible. 🤓

@dfox should split devrant into categories.

-rants
-advice/help
-weekly rants (already there)
-dev memes

Then people can just read rants or whatever they want without other things getting in the way.

Down vote can also be used if something is in the wrong category

Me at 11:00
"Ohh I need to split this component into two since too much has been put into this.. Seems like an easy task.. Will take me an hour max to do this.."

Me at 22:00
"Damnnn.. I think I have broken this code.. I am doomed.."
*Replaces all files with HEAD

- WE NEED TO KNOW THE VERSION OF THE SYSTEM THIS INSTANT!
"what? version? wtf are you talking about"
- THE CLIENT HAS I.T. GUIDELINES TO STRICT CONTROL THE VERSION OF EACH SOFTWARE VENDOR'S SYSTEMS!
"We are not a 'software vendor', we provide them consulting on logistics!"
- THEY USE OUR WEBSITE! THIS MAKES US A SOFTWARE VENDOR!
"Wouldn't that make 'google' their vendor too?"
- IM SURE THEY STRICTLY CONTROL GOOGLE'S VERSION TOO!
"I'm pretty sure they don't. But, whatever, that do answers the question of what they want. Some paperwork jockey wants a meaningless number to fill a form, let's give'em one"

I just had someone make an API endpoint where they can ask "the version", and it is just the number of commits in our production branch. For lols, we even 0-fill and split every three magnitude orders with a dot, so we're in version 0.012.345 or something.
Major version upgrade every million commits!

Fuck those guideline-parrots who are unaware that words sometimes have meaning, and sometimes not.

My 1366x768 laptop resolution is not enough to even have intellij open along with firefox in split screen mode... :(

If I have to draw out a normalized database on paper one more time I think I might split myself into multiple indexes

Man in the event of some newcomers to the development game, those that will mostly work in the web domain or sys admins that are in training I want to offer some small advice:

Do not neglect vim

I know it might be a bitch to use at first. And I will never use it as a replacement to vs code. But fuuuuuck me I cannot count the number of times that vim wizardry has helped me when dealing with servers when dealing on a machine with windows and nothing but putty.

The thing is a lifesaver yo, and it makes for an impressive show when doing something in front of senior executives.

Learn it, love it, live by it

And exit is :q, save is :w, to copy and paste is :v then surround the text and then y to yank it and p to paste it.
:vsplit and :split are your friends and to move around splits is ctrl w and direction.

Good luck my friends. Stay classy.

devRant, why u no split-screen?

Not exactly why I bought a split keyboard but ok, whatever works buddy.

A few years back I worked at a company as their front-end web developer with one other guy who was their "back-end" developer. PHP and MySQL specifically. He was eventually fired and I took over both development roles. When I got around to seeing his source code and the way he had created the databases, I immediately saw why he was fired. This guy did not understand the concept of loops. Instead of separating out tags and categories with a split / loop, he set up database tables for EVERY. SINGLE. TAG.
i.e. tag_1, tag_2, tag_3, etc. And then to top ot off, instead of looping through the tables, he set up huge conditioks for EVER.LY. SINGLE. TAG.
i.e. if(tag_1) else(tag_2) else(tag_3) etc.

That fucking guy...

What a fucking year it's been.. and it's only the 4th.

Let's see, I've just split up with my girlfriend of more than 4 years (and she's still living with me), my car got whacked by golf ball sized hail stones (and it's not insured), my back verandah at home turns into a swimming pool with heavy rain (and SA is having record high rainfall this season), and I haven't slept since Sunday night.

FML. 🤦 I need a holiday after the holidays..

Doing linguistic research where I need to parse 2000 files of a total of 36 GB. Since we are using python the first thing I thought was to implement multi threading. Now I changed the total runtime from three days to like one day and a half. But then when I checked the activity monitor I saw only 20 percent of the CPU usage. After a searching process I started to understand how multi threading and multi processing works. Moral of the story: if you want to ping a website till they block you or do easy tasks that will not use up all power of one core, do multi thrading. If you need to do something complicated that can easily consume all the powers of a single CPU core, split up the work and do multi processing. In my case, when I tried to grab information from a website, I did multi thrading since the work is easy and I really wanted to pin the website 16 times simultaneously but only have 4 cores. But when it come to text processing which a single file will take 80 percent of cpu, split it up and do multi processing.

This is just a post for those who are confused with when to use which.

That moment when you copy something then hit ctrl+c instead of ctrl+v to paste and realize what you have done a split second later... Every time I do this a little part of me dies

After a nightmare weekend where moving my 80 year old desk caused the wood to completely split and almost broke my computer and screens in the process..... I felt physically sick.....

Somehow I became a carpenter for the day and rebuilt and resized my desk to make it better then ever.....

Couldn't be happier with the final result tbh!

TLDR: programming helped with my math weakness

I've always been bad at math. I always failed my math quizzes, and to be honest the only thing that I remember from that time was that I hated it, I didn't want anything to do with it, to hell with functions and formulas and all of that garbage.

Fast forward a couple of years. I just started my masters degree in machine learning and I'm sort of inclined to applications of deep learning in signal processing. Currently I'm writing a fourier transform in raw python and I've never had more fun. I feel like programming has helped me a lot with math, being able to see how each component behaves when you write a function helps a lot! Being able to plot things helps a lot! Not having to imagine mathematical functions as esoteric mystical wonders but being able to split them up into small components and seeing what you're doing wrong HELPS. A. LOT.

Just felt like sharing. I feel like programming has made me a generally smarter person, in regards to how I approach problems and think about stuff.

Found this little gem today in some legacy code at work.

Apparently this is the best way to split a datetime (hh:mm:ss mm/dd/yyy).

If only there was a function that could split a string by keying off characters.

Oh wait there is....

I decided to give it a comment memorial.

"heh, I'm gonna instal this package".
Installs in 10 seconds.

"wow, this status bar looks cool..."
Installs in a split second.

"just one apt install before going to this really important seminar."

It takes almost half an hour to download and another half to install.

Aptitude fucking reads your thoughts...

Outsourcing front-end for web is like playing russian roulette, but with 6 bullets in 6 chambers.
You shoot yourself in the balls (or ovaries)... HARD.

I don't know how you can develop in a complete nightmare of a SCSS file - 3500 lines of insanity.
This dev must have changed his mousewheel at least 50 times!
SERIOUSLY, why the fuck use SCSS when you piss everything into one single fucking file???
What drives me completely nuts is the fact that he even used an @import to include his custom.scss file... how many more IQ poins are needed to realize that you could SPLIT your spaghetti into smaller, sane files?

I need a whiskey...

Why management has such orgasmic attachment to numbers?

Example 1.
Mngr: split this into tasks
Me: done
Mngr: now estimate these tasks
Me: can't. Team is new and codebase is unknown. Any estimations would be subjected to huge error and I will not commit to anything if I'm not at least partially sure.
Mngr: but we need some timeline
Me: so give it yourself. I'm not doing it

Example 2.
Mngr: we need to measure how your knowledge sharing sessions impacts our organisation
Me: how?
Mngr: e.g. amount of bugs lessen in next quarter
Me: bugs can go up and down because of hundred other reasons. Also, knowledge sharing is just to inspire people, it's up to them if they keep educating and growing. Me sharing knowledge 1h per week, I can't guarantee they will understand and apply this new knowledge.
Mngr: but we need to measure it somehow, otherwise it is useless.
Me: <speechless facepalm frustrated>

Hot take: Windows 11 is just to enable them to bake Teams into the OS like they did with IE.

They gotta get sued and split up this time! Their "Facetime" is skype and they had it preinstalled. Don't compare a business messenger to a private video chat platform!

I don't use slack, but they obviously wan't to win agains them by just making it part of the OS. This can't be legal!

Took a job during the summer vacation and was expected to sit through excel and click products and fill in info (mundane tasks). Overheard the boss talking to the coworkers "We need to translate 77,000 urls into images, how do we split this work up?" I jumped in and said "I can write that in code so you don't have to do it" They all looked at me like I was some sort of magician O_O. Had the program running during the weekend on three computers and all of the 77,000 urls are now a beautiful mess of pdfs and jpgs. Do you have a story that made you feel like a wizard?

The best thing about having a split keyboard is that I can hold a bowl of soup in the middle

so management decided that the PM/PO/SM role has to be split and that SM shall be done by someone else.

PM in retro: so i will give away this role because i cannot fulfill all roles adequately, not because of missing skills, but because of missing time. this is also why i couldn't finish my development task for this sprint. so, someone of you guys has to do the job. i expect the future SM to be always available for me in the morning and the afternoon, so due to timezone shift this has to be someone from the German colleagues. I will have to explain to that person what exactly I as a PO expect from the SM and the SM will have to follow this guideline. also, being SM is no excuse for not delivering your stories, it just takes very little time.

...i don't need to comment on this at all, he already makes a perfect clown of himself 🤡

LPT: NEVER accept a freelance job without looking at the project's source first

Client: I have a project made by a company that is now abandoning it, I want you to fix some bugs

Me: Okay, can you:
1) Give me a build to test the current state of the game
2) Tell me what the bugs are
3) Show me the source
4) Tell me your budget

Client: *sends a list of 10 bugs* Here's the APK and to give you the project I'll need you to sign an NDA

Me: Sure...

*tests build*
*sees at least 20 bugs*
*still downloading source*
*bugs look quite easy to fix should be done under an hour*

Me: Okay, so, I can fix each bug for $10 and I can do 2 today

Client: Okay can you fix 8 bugs today for $40??

*sigh*

Me: No I cannot.

Client: okay then 2 today for $20 is fine, I want a refund if you can't fix them today

*sigh*

Me: Look dude, this isn't the first time I am doing this, aight? I'll fix the bugs today you can pay me after check they are done, savvy?

Client: okay

*source is downloaded*
*literal apes wrote the scripts, commented out code EVERYWHERE
Debug logs after every line printing every frame causing FPS drops, empty objects in the scene
multiple unused UI objects
everything is spaghetti*

*give up, after 2 hours of hell*
*tfw averted an order cancellation by not taking the order and telling client that they can pay me after I am done*

Attached is an image of a level object pool
It's an array with each element representing a level.
The numbers and "Final" are ids for objects in an object pool
The whole string is .Split(',') into an array (RIP MEMORY BTW) and then a loop goes through each element in the split array and instantiates the object from an object pool

The challenge: a Dell Latitude XPi CD 133ST. It has a Pentium 133MHz, 32MB memory, and a 2GB HDD. I think I have some CD's with Mandrake from the late 90's. I hope. And mission impossible, an IBM Workpad z50 with a MIPS 4000 and 8MB split 50/50 between storage and program memory. Think that one will just be a large paper weight or door stop.

Classic Biff

What the fuck

Also where did split screen go from android 9

You know what?
No you don't!
PHP decided 'in time memorial' to deprecate their 'split' function for another function called 'explode' that splits, oh sorry, that explodes a string.

Now you know something!

Do you know whats worse than someone reach you for an idea " Lets create X existing app, but..." ?
Its "Lets clone that app, we will sell the service cheaper than the cloned app, you do all the job, se urity, hosting, administrating, and we will split the revenue 50/50."
Just happened.

I'm having an existential crisis with this client.

We are spending millions of $s every year to make sure the product's performance is perfect. We are testing various scenarios, fine-tuning PLABs: the environment, application, middleware, infra,... And then we provide our recommendations to the client: "To handle load of XX parallel users focusing on YY, yy and Zy APIs, use <THIS> configuration".

And what the client does?
- take our recommendations and measure the wind speed outside
- if speed is <20m/s and milk hasn't gone bad yet, add 2x more instances of API X
- otherwise add 3xX, 1xY and give more CPUs to Z
- split the setup in half and deploy in 2 completely separate load-balanced prod environments.
- <do other "tweaking">

- bomb our team with questions "why do we have slow RTs?", "why did the env crash?", "why do we have all those errors?", "why has this been overlooked in PLABs?!?"

If you're improvising despite our recommendations, wtf are we doing here???

One day I will crack. Hopefully, not sometime soon.

My ex-boss who had 35 years of experience in IT Industry, didn't know one single fucking coding language, obviously had no clue about source control or anything even remotely related to computers, and had been project manager of a project having over 1 million lines of totally undocumented code split into 389 files with no apparent structuring. All variables were either alphabets or names of programmers who developed them.
Code was in Python 2 and had bugs/line ratio ~= 5.
He asked to write a 'wrapper' class and somehow run it in Java and fix all bugs automatically. (insert Shia LaBeouf's magic GIF here)

When I said it doesn't make sense, he said you should put in hard work and do it, and not give excuses.
Time given to do this - 1 hour :-P

Good thing I quit that shit place and that pathetic moron. Love my new job and life! :D

Seriously managers should trust their developers and allow some degree of freedom. It helps a lot.

Biggest thing that pisses me off about windows 10 is the fact that they do not give two shits about wasting your internet, and they try to hide everything in obscure split settings, set updates to happen at a specific time sure but did your dumb ass remember to disable downloading app updates in the store? Probably not.

Heck how about we preload apps for you because you are on mobile aren't you, we know it is a desktop but we would really love to be the next android so here you go have apps all the apps.

Instead of being the foundation for things you actually intend to install we want to also give you a sample fucking 200 level tower that will take forever to demolish so you can start building the cozy cottage you do want.

I am digressing , but final thought is just that Windows can be a 1gb install since the rest of the shit is what fucktards that use a Samsung S8 just to facebook want.

Plebs.

I think when downvoting, "offensive/spam" should be split into two different options
Spam isn't always offensive, and offensive posts aren't always spam

Client asked for time line for website I told them 6 weeks from moment they provide design (I had other active projects and would have to split time between them ) . For next 4 weeks they would send me design and then after few hours tell me to stop working and that they are going to change design.
After 4 weeks they sent me final version of the design and informed me that it needs to be done in next 2 weeks. We expected 10 more websites from them and it was 7-8 pages so I put other projects on hold and finished it in around week and sent link to them for review, 2 days before deadline they informed me that there are around 20 pages missing pages that are not in final version of design but only in version xx sent more than 2 weeks ago. In next day and half me and 2 other developers had more then 20 hours each to finish it on time

Nexus 7 does not support split screen view. *cries in Spanish*

Wanted to test out UWP app.
=>
Created one and clicked split view, but it turns out i needed to update windows.

2 hours later i am still updating. At the blazing speed of 3% rach 5 minutes.
🔥 ⌚🏃🤔🤔

Germans get made fun of for being focused on work and not wanting to have fun (at work).

But it's exactly what I like about them. I would join and work at a German company in a split second.

Fuck all the small talks and fun Fridays, let's just get the work done, get paid and go home and have fun at home.

I'm the only one who hates the idea of "overemployment" (people which hoards lots of remote jobs and then split their attention between them while getting a full time salary from each of them)?

If these guys believes to be so good and productive (and some of them definitely are) entrepreneurship or working as independent contractors/consultants is always a great viable options instead of trying to become multi millionaires by "stealing" good jobs which may instead lift people who have very little from poverty or bad jobs.

So last time I said I'm gonna look for a new job.

I just had a discussion with the boss and he is very apologetic and understands my situation and frustration very well. He agreed that they are having a technical dept, so at least he knows what's up and wants to get it finally forever fixed.

Since I wanted to go self employed anyways, we've come up that I only work for them, if there is a reason and real work to do. No more useless backend work for me *pew*.

We will also split my weekly hours from 40 to 20h and increase my hourly wage.

I'm gonna hear back by Monday for the details and legal paperwork.

Wish me luck, feeling positive about this!

Why does devrant not support split screen?

We have a course in our uni where we're given a client and are supposed to make a product for him.
> Only, our client happens to be a startup guy.
> He's already mentioned that his app is worth 'multi-millions' countless times.
> And has already given us a job offer in his startup.
> And has offered to pitch the app to investors if we do it right and split the profit (He seemed almost convinced Google would acquire it).

All of it before doing any market research, testing, business planning or prototyping himself.
Yet people ask me why i hate on the hyped up startup ecosystem smh :/

Let's split joke and meme into two different categories so that we can have shitty memes under one tag and (hopefully OC) jokes in the other. Then we could filter out low effort memes and still get the occasion joke. We need jokes.

TEAM PROJECTS IN UNIVERSITY BE LIKE:

You will need to write a paragraph of text, approximately 100 words long.

In order to manage your work more effectively, you must split the paragraph into sentences and each one of you should write one.

Make sure you don't clash with each other, the text is meaningful and it flows nicely.

You have one month: you should meet at least twice a week to discuss how to go about the tasks, review your work and plan ahead.

We will be checking on your progress on a weekly basis.

Most importantly, do not just wait until the last minute and have one person do all the work: that's just silly.

TL;DR
Front-end dev trying to dictate back-end tech.

We are gonna start split stack (front / back ) development with the following projects and this stupid fucker who knows jackshit about backend , servers, etc... , is more versed in front end stuff and said herself that she knows nothing about databases told me this:

"No way we are gonna use Java."

I politely said:

"We are gonna analyze the projects requirements and see what technologies best fit the scenario"

Me inside my head:

"SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU STUPID CUNT, GET YOUR FUCKING JAVASCRIPT AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS!! IF WE DECIDE TO JAVA THE SHIT OUT OF EVERYTHING THATS HOW ITS GONNA BE!"

IIS is a piece of shit. Windows is for playing video games and looking at stupid memes, not for real work. Defenders say that wInDoWs SeRvEr Is PoWeRfUl REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE, but it only appears powerful because microshit took all of the things that normal servers can do easily, split it up nonsensically, and hid it in bizarre places in an overdesigned and FUCKING CONFUSING set of config menus. No one can change my mind about this.

Devrant, split screen, so happy!

I solved this riddle/puzzle. Now my inner completionist split into two and both are arguing what is worse: taking the solved puzzle apart or leaving the 15 remaining possibilities unsolved...

*rips of his face* 💀

Finally got some fruition out of my job hunting.. a publishing company wants to hire me. Only issue.. they're paying only ~€1k/m (before or after tax.. no idea.. and the tax on individuals here in Belgium definitely isn't any better) and that's even split between me and another guy I'd be collaborating with, and then there's some royalties. I can't pay shit with that. The argument being that it'll give me experience. #forexposure, #forexperience!!!

Well at least it's paid at all unlike internships I guess ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

My superpower would be the ability to split myself into multiple copies of myself so that I could function as an entire dev company on my own whilst learning the skills to do so without downtime because a copy of you could sleep while another works.

Of course the copies would share their knowledge and can merge back when needed

@dfox @trogus can the notifications area be split between +1'd comments and rants and new comments? Or the ability to remove selected comment thread notifications? Cheers. Great app btw

I had a response body that I needed to obtain data from. It would either come as {success: {name, id}} or {success: [{name, id},{name,id}]}
I couldn't loop over something that wasn't a list and I couldn't just ask the type of the element in success so in my infinite wisdom I split the cases by examining the length of the element in success. If it had one it was an array and could be looped over, if it didn't, it was a single object to be processed 😂 if it works it works (it's still in production, tyvm)

> phone has OEM unlock disabled
> phone is vulnerable to like 300 race conditions
> reboot phone, get to menu as fast as possible
> sure enough, what do you fucking know, option is unblocked for a split second if I get to and open the dev settings perfectly
> manage to pull it off again
> SETTING STAYS ON AFTER REBOOTING we have ourselves a winner

it's never this easy, i have yet to check if it has a key or not, will keep you posted, but if this all works this will have been the most retardedly-simple unauthorized bootloader unlock ever

Sometimes I have to work with physical hardware. There are over 300 machines in our lab, split among two subnets. But for some reason, I can never access my machines by hostnames.

Every other week, there's an IP conflict on this network, requiring me to log into the active directory server and delete old DNS entries. This usually happens because someone decided to deploy 64 VMs on a huge server, all at once, didn't boot them with a delay, let alone with with a warning to IT.

Then when my superior asks how my progress has been and I respond with "I can't even get the machines to ping each other by hostname, there's something wrong with the DNS:, I get the following response: "HOW COME NOBODY ELSE IS HAVING PROBLEMS WITH THIS. YOU'RE FULL OF SHIT", from someone who spends 90% of the year abroad, working remotely.

Why is split in kde konsole does not give two separate terminals as it should??

They fired all four of our testers on Monday. Devs need to split the testing workload now. FML.

Planned to watch YouTube and read devRant.

well apparently not because the devRant Android app doesn't support split screen.

The downside of cheating is it removes the stopping point since there are no barriers.

The upside is you realize how badly these developers want your money and the amount of time it would take to finish the game if you weren't cheating... And you'd probably rage quit first... which I can't do until I realize how much time I've wasted.

That usually happens when I finally the game or am greeted with an Under Construction screen...

It now takes a total of 20+ stars to build each object but they split it up so I imagine if you were really playing each time you'd go: what?!!!! Wtf....

i3 + vim
I have gotten addicted to splitting panes. I almost always have like 7 _ 10 splits in my 13in laptop.

Apparently HP company split to HP Inc, HPE and HP sauces :P

That’s it I’m done with writing documents like Software Product Specifications and Software Requirements Documents and Software Architecture Documents, manuals, data sheets and more in MS word..

I’m doing it all form this point forward in LaTeX... I can stay in my editor, it works beautifully with version control because it’s just text... I can split it amung multiple files.. it looks damn sexy. I can focus on the content rather than being distracted by formatting and spelling issues and the rest of that shit.. ALSO.. it doesn’t crash or get corrupted.. well at-least I’ve never had a text editor crash or corrupt my files.

Idk why I didn’t learn latex sooner and do the switch.

So the group announced a merge of several systems into my platform. Growing it from 5000 sites to 75000. Lead time of a year, time enough to build it properly, finish the split of the current monolith into microservices, make it fast.

Suddenly, they reduced the time to three months, no explanation given. Solution is to keep the current PHP shit pile, but "scale" it using magic hardware or something. Oh and add 258 features, including things like "intuitive navigation" and "progressive web app" which some junior PM wannabe got off wikipedia or something.

And my boss has bent over to these morons and basically said yes, instead of informing them that this is a fool's errand.

Fuck em. I've said that they're nuts, and if they force the issue, I will resign. And my team probably will too.

But first I will take an inconveniently timed holiday.

I feel like if I ever get a professional programming job my biggest problem will be I can't work on projects with other people when it comes to programming I really don't know how to split up the work any tips?

Why can't my fucking mind just calm down for even a split second? It takes me sometimes up to 2 hours to fall asleep, I can't take this shit anymore, I'm going insane.

FUCK YOU $CLIENT_NAME !

You tell me I've spent the last 6 months molesting and hacking your piece of garbage multistore prestashop?

Just for you to yet again, change the specifications, saying "I don't want a multistore anyway please split them up"

What an imbicile moron, you want me to duplicate the codebase/database 7 times? just to start "downgrading" each one individually? To make a few adjustments to each one.

What the fuck have you been smoking? I wasn't born with enough middle fingers to let you know how I feel about you.

I had to write a script to clean some crap from a database.
In particular it had some records containing multiple names and I had to split them.
It was really a nightmare because the separator was not always the same, e.g. "John, Mark and Bob" or "Alice+Mary".
«Ok, let's use a fucking regex: ",|(and)|\\+|/|&"»
Then, I realized there were some "Alessandro" in the database. Yeah, Aless(and)ro. Shit.
So I had eventually added more crap into the database.

Got some really responsible teammates in my University project.
We have split our tasks and everyone is working accordingly.

This seems like a dream!

I spent a month trying to understand how to split our application and setup a pdf server to manage 10'000> pdf documents generation at the same time.

Today during our monthly meeting, our dear Key Account Manager, said he's not selling pdf generation to customers since one year at least, and he's not planning to sell it in the future.

Nobody knew about that apparently. We had also some demo guys showing actually the functionality to potential customers.

Also nobody believe me when I say we should start a project to monitor used functionalities in our application.

Just wasted one month of my fucking extra-time. Now I'm late with a lot of other tasks, apparently more urgent that the potential scalability issue of a functionality we don't use.

Key Account Manager rules.
Key Asshole Manager.

I think we should hire a Key fucking-COMMUNICATION Manager

We'd just finished a refactor of the gRPC strategy. Upgraded all the containers and services to .Net core 3, pushed a number of perf changes to the base layer and a custom adaptive thread scheduler with a heuristic analyzer to adjust between various strategies.

Went from 1.7M requests/s on 4 cores and 8gb ram to almost 8M requests/s on the same, ended up having to split everything out distributed 2 core instances because we were bottlenecking against 10gb/e bandwidth in AWS.

If only they allow us to write unit test at work, its not that It is forbidden but we are not given time to do so :\

Done my test on my side project and now I can happily move to the next step.

Though I'd be happy if someone answers this:
1. When I have to execute functions by order, do I write all their code in one single function and divide them into regions (speaking of C# #reagion)

OR

2. I keep them split and implement the order attribute for XUnit?

My test case is basically just to make sure CRUD methods inside my repositories are working as expected, noting complex

Wow... so i split my ssd into 2 partitions, one for Windows and one for ubuntu. After booting into ubuntu multiple times and it works fine, i boot into windows for a while. Next boot i get met with the grub rescue screen... apparently when i booted into windows it deleted my ubuntu partition and allocated the space back to its partition. 😐

- a split keyboard with a touchpad in the middle that will let you control all gestures on a computer

- a set of desk/monitors that adjusts perfectly for ergo for anyone

- a vertical laptop dock that is modular so you can add extra memory/video processing power and only using your laptop as a CPU/secondary graphics card

- a set of kitchenware and plates that would be so easy to clean and would never get stained

-an insect home alarm system that tells you where the fucking insect is so it doesn't take you by surprise/you can call someone to remove it

- a clothing brand that has a buy one gift one operation mechanic, where you buy a shirt and an article is donated to a local charity

- a restaurant

- a simple, yet robust database option that walks users through creating good databases that is super user friendly

- an app that takes tattoo designs in any format, converts them, allows for editing, and then can hook up to a special printer that gives you the transfer you will use on the client

So I log into a great new site with my development machine. 64G of RAM, and 2 hex core CPU's; GTX 1070 video, SSD, etc. 4K display screen. (Motherboard is 5 years old, not trying to brag, just give context). I regularly put 8 pages of text on the screen side by side. Split ergonomic keyboard.

It wants me to load a mobile app for "full access".

Yea, why look at the world with wide open eyes when you can view everything through a cardboard toilet paper tube and type with your thumbs???

== John ==

I hate arbitrary deadlines.
Cocksuckers just pull them out of thin air and force me to give estimates about tasks that are impossible to give an estimate on.
(Spoiler: The tasks are the problem and need to be split and analyzed)

//  TODO : Resurrect dev team

if(devRant.development ⩶ 'active')
  devRant.notifications.addPanel({
    content : [ '++' , 'comments' ] ,
    type : 'split'
  })

How do you split window and open file explorer in vim?

:Sex!

"Ooh! I have a vague idea for an app that you should build and we can split the profits!"

The split second feeling of EXECUTE an UPDATE and SET value without putting WHERE clause.

I froze for a moment with cold sweat that I don't know what to do. My mind went blank.

Thank God it is just the entire list of customer details that is not relate to money issue.

Anyone can suggest the best practice for this type of accident UPDATE / DELETE?
Does using BEGIN TRANS ROLLBACK is safer way to execute?

There should be a post type “facts” || “dev hints” || something like that where we can post cool stuff we figured out..

Like how to replaceAll in JS?
“Hello ranters”.split(“e”).join(“foo”);

JS devs probably know this but I didn’t, so yeah..

What is your favourite pasta-code?

I think mine is tortellini/ravioli code. Where someone has taken Object Oriented Programming to the absolute worst extreme. You have loads of seemingly unrelated tiny classes/functions with just a few lines. All split between 30 files to perform one module function

And somewhere is a bug. Bon appetit💋👌

I once made an oopsie in an API for a logistics provider (one of the biggest in Germany...).

To understand the oopsie...

Based on input data a string must be created containing several hex / string / formatted values.

Think of ...

$return .= sprintf("%02X", ...)

I think there were around 15 to 20 lines, although more complicated.

The bug happened because I had a brainfart.

What was previously one line with... Many many many many variables, I had to split into multiple lines since internal stuff changed and it was impossible to change this oneliner of hell with >50 formatting codes.

Of course we didn't test everything.
XD

What we didn't test was - funnily enough - wether the casting was correct in all cases.

I misplaced a formatting code.

And we had a major brainfart because we tested integer, but not double / float values....

We sent for a long time packages much cheaper than allowed (took thw logistics provider nearly 3-4 months to realize this :) ).

Spot the difference:

@highlight
print sprintf("%01.2s", $money).PHP_EOL;

print sprintf("%01.2f", $money).PHP_EOL;

After doing crazy SCSS nesting for around 800 lines split between 8 partial imports, I just found out about the ampersand operator. Time to refactor I guess.

At least it's split out?

Can we all just agree to stop actively imagining progressively harder to parse CSV formatting options? For fucks sake I’ve had to build in tolerance for quoted and unquoted data, combined data and split data, ways to split the data and recombine it, compare every data point, filter some data, only add data, only remove data, base data updates on non Boolean fields in the file, set end point matching based on arbitrary fields, column number matching, header matching, manipulate malformed urls and reassemble the file with proper ones, it goes the fuck on. CSV’s should just be simple and not hard to format. Why does everyone want to try so fucking hard to do bizarro shit?!

You know how a normal developer will start writing a program, and then take the big pieces and split/refactor it; move hard coded things into functions that take arguments, and cleaning up along the way?

Our manager makes a tons of empty files, and empty directories, with how he thinks he wants to build something, and checks them all in. Tons of .gitkeep files in empty directories, blank Jenkinsfile, Dockerfile that doesn't build.

When he makes wiki documentation, there are tons of subsections, all of which are links to pages with "TODO" in them.

Dear god stop it you asshat! Stop making tons of empty files and pages. Write the thing in one chunk and then split it as needed like someone who actually knows how to engineer software!

My favorite method is the .split() method in Java. It simplifies things so much for so many situations for me even though it would be trivial to write this method on my own, I still love this method!

-----------Jr Dev Fucked by Sr Dev RANT------

Huge data set (300X) that looks like this :
( Primary_key, group_id,100more columns) .

Dataset to be split in records of X sized files such that all primary_key(s) of same group_id has to go in same file.

Sde2 with MS from Australia, 12 years of 'experience' generates an 'algo'. 70% Test case FAILED.

I write a bin packing algo with 100% test case pass, raises pull request to MASTER in < 1 day. Same sde2 does not approve, blocking same day release.

|-_-| What the fuck |-_-| Incompetent people getting 2x my salary with <.5x my work

Why use git, do it simple, send me your changes by email and I will merge it.
Why split split source code (js) into different files, use one so we will no have trouble about load order.
Use the same user account for github/gitlab/bitbucket/etc. So we will no worry to setup access permisions.
Use Dropbox/Drive for version control.
We will test the whole system until the end when all is finish.

We had a project with a web app and an Android app. We split it out, he took the web and I was working on Android. He was very curious to do the project with me and very motivated at the beginning. We agreed on our first module that was user authentication. After some time when I told him that first module of app is ready and asked him on his progress, (When ever we had a talk he pretend like every thing is going fluently, though I continously told him ask for help if needed ) he opened a folder in vs code containing two files "index.html" and "style.css" and showed me the "login & sign up" design he was doing for days. I have no option but to appreciate his work. On that day I created new folder on my machine "web application" and started working.

man, fuck php.
fuck fucking php fuckitily fucking hard.
basically every fuckin stdlib function it has is fucked in some way.
can't even remember it anymore properly, but...

for example:
explode(" ", "some string like this ");

function to "split a string into array of strings using the first param as the boundary marker.

the above one would return
["some", "string", "like", "this", ""]

BECAUSE I'M FUCKING FUCKITTY SURE THAT WHEN THE LAST CHARACTERS OF THE STRING ARE EQUAL TO THE SEPARATOR STRING, EVERYONE WANTS TO GET BACK ONE EXTRA FUCKING USELESS EMPTY ITEM IN THE ARRAY.

because beyond the last wall of my house, there's another room of my house, you stupid Lerdorf fuck.

At a previous company, we got stock options. My options wouldn't have made me a millionaire but it wasn't chump change, either.

For months, we went through the whole "we can't say we're going public but watch what you say" game.

One Monday, they called us down by groups to one of the large conference rooms to tell us paperwork was filed, that we were in a blackout period, and, oh, by the way, all those stock options were split 1-for-2 (half the stocks at twice the price.)

I really wanted to punch those smug motherfuckers when I watched them ringing the bell on the balcony of the NYSE.

I quietly refactored an entire NodeJS express in-house framework that was written in Java style (dependency injection, inheritance, inversion of control) and split it into typed, composable, parameterized, testable middlewares in 2 weeks (including some complicated ones like a custom Openid Connect flow)

Now comes the hard part: convincing the Java-devs who wrote it that it is useful

Just did my interview with Turing & OMG!

2 questions, total of 30 mins to answer both questions, and there's a dude with access to your screen, camera & microphone watching your every move.

Went horribly. Utter failure. Not expecting to hear back from them.

Questions weren't related to the skills I said I had. They were general questions that could be answered in any language. I honestly wasn't ready to write code to split an array of numbers into 3 equal parts whose values when added would equal.

FML. Fuck this shit. I'm tired of all the bullshit (mine included)!

In my previous job, we had in c# a class called static manager. This abomination was thousands of lines long, every member static. Eventually the dev responsible, did split it in to multiple files each thousands of lines using partial class. Worst part? It wasn't even legacy code yet.

Thinking of getting one of those keyboards that are split in two. (Yes, I will get both pieces. Harr harr.)

Apparently they knew how to program in bible (partial translation of a traditional passover song below):

If He had brought us out from Egypt,
and had not carried out judgments against them
— Dayenu, it would have sufficed!
If He had carried out judgments against them,
and not against their idols
— Dayenu, it would have sufficed!
If He had destroyed their idols,
and had not smitten their first-born
— Dayenu, it would have sufficed!
If He had smitten their first-born,
and had not given us their wealth
— Dayenu, it would have sufficed!
If He had given us their wealth,
and had not split the sea for us
— Dayenu, it would have sufficed!
If He had split the sea for us,
and had not taken us through it on dry land
— Dayenu, it would have sufficed!

full of contradiction.

If u try freelancing nobody would pay you shit coz theres always someone who'd do it for 100$.

If you do get a good budget freelance project, any Dev you'd consider outsourcing to to split the work with will ask for more than the project is worth.

There's a lot of competition but it's basically made up of

- people from fancy universities who dont know shit coz they think their degree is worth something on its own and expect high salaries off the bat.

- people who figured out the first group are idiots and tried to self learn, so they joined bootcamps that spoon fed them some Laravel and React and now think they are high tier engineers but may not even know their way around a bash terminal

- people who actually know their shit, went through hell to get the skills they have now, could probably spin up a startup on their own

group 3 all left the country tho

Second big school project. Designed for at least 2 people. Quite a lot of work for the given time but not impossible to do, as I thought. Oh boy was I wrong.

My partner and I chose a networking project which included setting up a ESXi-Server, a VM (with Windows Server 2008 R2) and a router. We are both not unknowledged so I thought this would be easy-going.
I quickly recognised that my partner liked to spend his time at home rather than actually doing something so I ended up doing nearly everything.
When it came to documenting everything he tried to write something, but it had so many mistakes i had to correct it over and over again.
I asked him multiple times, if we should split and he denied every time and promised to work harder.
End of that story was him being expelled from school because of to many missed lessons and me finishing the project alone. Got a B+ for it.

devRant can use an update where the notifications get split into comments and +1s because I do like replying to comments but they're scattered in between +1s just too messy

Let me just put all this code in one place, get things working first I'll split it later.

Started a new job this week, picking up the front end development of a property management system, since they're old developer just left.

Oh my god was his code bad, inconsistent use of js versions e.g only sometimes using lambda for anonymous functions, variable names that were a single letter, no comments, no documentation, and over 30000 lines split into almost 30 js files, following the logic of it is as fun as a hedge maze with no exit.

Sometimes I think devs are like superheroes who are bored to death and just want to have the greatest world clusterfuck possible to be ... Amused.

Backstory: One project, fairly large (roughly 200 dependencies, a framework). I looked over the ticket backlog and a critical ticket title regarding the important framework caught my eye.

(Rephrased as title was gibberish)

Framework fork needed for supporting different versions of library X

...

Ok. They want to fork a whole fucking framework for a single library dependency.

😶

The framework that is the basis of like 30 - 40 % of all projects at our company.

😶

Maybe.. I just misunderstood it. (my hope dies several times a day, one more or less doesn't matter).

Ticker: Blablablablabla...

"to incorporate library X at version A and - for other projects - at version Y, we need to split the framework into two forks with different versions but same namespace."

🤮

Why. Just why. How the fuck can anyone come up with such an incredible stupidity?

After chewing some people's ears off....

It turned out to be very simple.

Just split off the library dependent part, which were like 20 plus classes.

Release it with two different versions, for library in version A and library B.

Done.

Sometimes devs terrify me.

Please. Never fork / branch a framework or anything "heavy" completely.

That's madness. Properly split what needs to be split and be done.

It's not that hard, hmkay?

Talk with boss on phone about new billing page for split test.

Create new billing page.

Create split test

Launch.

Checking everything after a few hours. Notice the boss turned off the control on the split test so everything runs to new page. Noticed two other tests that he had turned off variations on also, so no tests are actually splitting, but they're all still eating up our paid clicks.

I'm glad I wasted time setting up the test and goals only for it to not be used.

~rant
I think we need to change way how websites deliver themselves to its users. This HTML CSS JS clusterfuck is just a huge PITA in the ass.

What is a website?
It's an application where users find, communicate or share information, can buy or sell their penis pumps and loads of shady stuff.
Why must a website (the delivered application) be split into multiple languages/scripts and lots of HTTP requests?
In my opinion, PWA is a start to make us look at websites more like apps as we are used to on the machine, but they don't solve the mess.
Per my experience, many people working on websites regularly confuse what's executed on the server and what is on the client. They send data to the client via XHR, for example full DB tables of private data, just to then filter it in their beloved Array.filter function.
You can tell those people again and again and this is why I start thinking that the Web, as we know it, needs a big change.

I fucking swear. AI this, new frameworks that, but every fucking company I get hired by has a deluge of files that are thousands of lines long.

It's not a new concept to split up files. It's not difficult to progressively split up files as you work on them. And yet so many programmers apparently can't fucking stop for quarter a second to think "hmmm maybe adding another function to this thing that is already 20 km long might not be the best idea".

TIL: new M2 MacBooks officially support only single external screen. Not even the Pro class supports dual. It supports single 6K monitor, but I've failed to find any userfriendly ways to get good tiling which would be equivalent to multi-monitor. The only native tilling is left/right split. TB3 can handle 3x2K or 2x4K, but Apple said "fuck you and your multi-monitor setup".
I ain't mad tho. The guy upgrading to M2 sold me his dual monitors for a really good price.

Me: Ok lets make a simple chrome app wrapper for devRant just for the hell of it... Oh i really don't like how there is a split line between the title bar and window content...

*2 Days later"

Me: Fuck it! Let's build a title bar library and allow for devRant theming options...

Why must I do this to myself...

Why is mobile development still a thing?
Hear me out. All these simple apps, like shopping centre discount, eshops, vinted, other kinds of webapi consumers. Many have a website and a phone app.

Why??? Why the phone app? What's wrong with just embedding your responsive webpage into a webview and call it a day ffs?

I mean, maintenance becomes trivial and there's no split brain. No? What am I missing?

Not talking about apps that rely on android/ios api, for like camera, calls, storage access, sensors etc

Best way to deal with office politics?

As background: we have our own implementation of some C++ data structures, including an "Array" class (basically the same as std::vector).

A few years ago, the senior guys on my team refused to add new features to it for (seemingly) no good reason.

So senior guys from another team added the features anyways, in THEIR repo.

My team couldn't stop them, but refused to allow the new features in OUR repo, so now our Array is split between two repos for no good reason 😢.

Two years later, here I am, hoping to clean this up. As far as anyone knows, there's no good reason to have it split up like this.

How do i convince my team that we should move the code to OUR repo where it belongs?

Me and my mates rent a flat near the beach to work together on some code. We usually live in Saigon Vietnam which is a very nusy and polluted city. So beach is nice.

However，we went from office houra to full on， waking up and having breakfast at 5pm some days and others ant 2Am....

Right now i love on 12 hour day cycles.

Anyyyways. I also learnt to code this year.

So right now i was dreaming... And i did not dreami was coding， but my dream seemed to be organized like a code. For a split second，my mind was between the two worlds.... I actually thought to myself that i was surely a robot!!!

for one split second I thought I had discovered a way to manage multiple states with one reducer function in react,

turns out it was a bug in my code,

I had already gone to brag about it on my react group chat, until I went back to my code and as I was cleaning up and closing brackets and all that stuff, my new feature stopped working.

I need to find that bug

Git is amazing but I wish we could better split a commit of a renamed file that's also changed

Progress on my sudoku application goes well. Damn, what is javascript fantastic. While the code of the previous version that I posted here was alright I did decide that i want to split code and html elements after all. I have now a puzzle class doing all resolving / validating and when a field is selected or changed, it emits an event where the html elements are listening to. It also keeps all states. So, that's the model. puzzle.get(0,1).value = 4 triggers an update event. It also tracks selection of users because users selecting fields is part of the game. I can render full featured widgets with a one liner. Dark mode and light mode are supported and size is completely configurable by changing font-size and optional padding. So far, painless. BUT: i did encounter some stuff that works under a CSS class, but not if I do element.style.* =. Made me crazy because I didn't expect that.

And the stock market is plunging again.... Who gives a fuck....

It makes no logical sense? Unless someone wants to enlighten me... But I don't see much downside...

COVID kills us all => who gives a fuck about stock prices

COVID kills most of us => who gives a fuck about stock prices, aka pieces of paper. All the survivors will create a new society and either split the goods or fight over them. It'll be like Survivor... But real.

COVID goes away and doesn't do anything => great time to buy buy buy since all you idiots basically just gave me like a huge discount on stock prices. AKA a long overdue market correction

WOW Xcode is such a trash fucking application, I am so pissed at how much I have to fight this damn piece of shit program to get my work done

The time it takes to index my code is disgustingly long, I sit and sit and wait for it to FINALLY recognize I've added a new variable to the header file before it can begin to suggest autocompletions, but wait??? Why is it telling me there's errors about another variable? On a line of code that doesn't even fucking mention that variable??? BETTER WAIT IT OUT FOR IT TO INDEX SOME MORE, NO XCODE MY CODE ISN'T ERRONEOUS, YOU ARE YOU CRAP SHOOT!!

AND WHY WON'T YOU LET ME SPLIT VIEW YOU WITH ANOTHER APP??

When you have to stay awake until 4:30am uploading and importing 134 .sql files split up from a larger single exported file because for some stupid reason MySQL can only handle importing the data at this insane level of incremental push.

Today I was minding my own coding-committing-pushing business, when all of a sudden, a split second before typing Enter on a command, the obnoxious UPDATE JAVA popup reared it's ugly head.

Normally I just politely recommend it to fuck off and let me manage my Java versions with homebrew on my own time. But I had no time to not press Enter, and so it rapidly started downloading/installing.

Thankfully I had juuust enough time to hit the cancel button. The progress bar it was showing stopped at 81%. Didn't even have time to read what it said. Crisis averted. Them NSA fucks be like, "curses, foiled again!"

This was probably the most intense moment of the year for me. I think my lifespan grew shorter a few months.

Dreaded auto-updates are getting smarter. They nearly got me when I was in a vulnerable state of hitting Enter many times. Stay on your toes!

Once I maintained one of the most used and fucked up codebases on the market with almost 1M+ daily users. (cannot say more, sorry).

It's written in PHP and is absolutely terrifying,
the first time I saw some lines of code I was about to scream and cry.

- spaghetti code
- no indentation
- random SQL query unoptimized
- unused vars
- Code is split among several files with no logical reasoning
- Mixed procedural and oop programming
- Unsanitised user input (yes, you got it right)

No test environment, no backup database, every commit goes straight to production.

It's a real disaster but the company prefers to keep it as it is without refactoring or anything else.

Just to make it clear:
It's not hatred against PHP, it's against the code's current status and the older programmers which used to work on it.

My Top 10 most useless keys (#1 is worst):
1. Stop (the media key).
2. Pause/Break. (I understand this has historical usage, but I personaly have never used it.)
3. Page Up
4. Page Down
5. Scroll Lock
6. All those little shortcut keys along the top (above the F-keys) which open things like IE, My Documents, e