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TL;DR: Clients are dumb.
Client IT Lead: "Your code isn't working on our website."
Me: "Because you didn't load our code into your website. Do that, and everything works."
CIL: <proposes terrible alternative>
M: "No fix on my end will matter if you don't load our code into your website."
CIL: <more disagreement>
M: "Let me discuss with my team and I'll get back to you."
... later that day, in a follow up meeting with client's team ...
M: "Load our code into your website as was initially intended and everything works fine."
CIL's Boss: "That makes complete sense, and I'm not sure why we weren't doing that from the beginning. Let's make that happen, CIL."
CIL: "Okay."
——
👨🏽💻🤷🏽♂️🤦🏽♂️7 -
Confessions of a Programmer
#1
If a client is an unbearable asshole during the initial communication, I look for every excuse to pad on the hours for the estimate to get paid more. If a client goes above and beyond in their douchbaggery, I tack on an additional $40/hour.
#2
Sometimes I will present an elaborate solution to a client, but really I'm just reading off the features of a plugin or library I'm going to download or buy after the call. Not because I can't build it myself, but because I'd rather spend more time on other/my own projects.
#3
Clients assume because I know one language, I know them all. Rather than turning down the work, I take a crash course to work in that language, or outsource the work and clean it up afterwards, whichever is more practical at the time.
#4
I use cPanel on a dedicated to manage our client websites. I'm not paid enough to bother with setting up everything manually.
#5
Certain projects I build have a 3-day backdoor built into it. If the client doesn't pay upon completion, a unique hash triggered as a GET variable deletes a core file in my work, rendering the work useless. If it wasn't triggered by the 4th day, the file allowing me to trigger this backdoor is removed. This is only used for clients where the project must be launched on their servers, or if there has been a previous issue collecting payment.
#6
I slip in the initial contract that all preceeding phone calls will be monitored and recorded, and that they acknowledge the recordings are admissable in court. This has saved me from losing money twice now.
#7
I have never used an IDE. (I know, I know, it's really inefficient and dumb, but I'm just more comfortable with Sublime. Plus I often find myself mobile and without my computer, so I have to program from my phone.)
#8
Each day resembles a betting spectacle of which work will be late, which will be rushed out and which will never see the light of day.
#9
I have used "sick" and "family emergency" as an excuse to just sleep in far more than I can count.
#10
When a client from hell crosses over the line in their conduct (such as getting very nasty and personal, or sending threats), I anonymously report them to the BBB and on RipOffReport.21 -
Trying to make a not realistic deadline,set today for yesterday. Pleasing clients is what I do.
With a little #catsupport, she is probably wondering why I'm not in bed so she can sleep on me.
12 -
I swear all my clients are like these! I can probably teach a blind monkey faster than these idiots.
PC: marketoonist
4 -
[Thursday afternoon on a call...]
Client: Before we get started, can you create a sitescape outlining all of the pages and sections of the new website?
Me: Sure! I'll go through the website and shoot you a full layout in xls format as soon as possible, that way you can easily make notes on what you want added, modified or removed.
[Two hours later...]
Client: Hey, did you build that sitescape yet?
Me: Actually, I've been on back-to-back calls with other clients.
Client: So when are you going to get it done?
Me: Well, I have to go through the current website in it's entirety, which I'm guessing is about 1,000 pages. I have to determine which pages work fine on their own, which need to be combined for better presentation and which should be removed due to redundancy. That's something that is tedious and takes some time to complete. That, in combination with having an existing work queue that I need to fit you within and being at the end of the work week, we're looking at Tuesday morning to have it ready.
Client: "Existing work queue"? This is ridiculous. We're paying you good money to make our project your only priority. If we wanted to wait days for work, we would have saved money and paid for a cheaper service. You're already gouging us as it is! If we don't get the sitescape by end of day Friday, we're going with another company.
Me: I would tell you that I'm sorry for the inconvenience, but I'm not. I'm not going to feed you a line to make you happy. I'm also not going to work on my days off just to rush something out to you. You hired us because you wanted things done right, not quickly. Your current website is the result of not focusing on quality, but by how fast you can deliver it. We don't work that way. We only build quality products.
By rushing your project, not only do we alienate our current clients, affecting our reputation, but we build product of less than the highest quality. That will upset you because it isn't perfect, and it reflects poorly on us to use it in our portfolio.
If you want to hire someone to pump out this project to your unrealistic deadlines, be our guest. But you paid a 50% non-refundable deposit, so not only will you lose money, but your end product will suffer.
I'm going to let you sleep on this. If you decide tomorrow that another direction is the way to go, we wish you luck. But please understand that if we conclude our business, we will no longer make ourselves available for your needs.
Please find the attached contracts you have signed, acknowledging the non-refundable deposit, as well as the project timeline and scope, of which a "sitescape" was never originally mentioned or blocked out for time.
I hope that tomorrow we can move forward in a more professional manner.
[Next morning...]
Client: My apologies for yesterday. We're just very anxious to get this started.
-----
Don't let clients push you around. Make them sign a contract and enforce it whenever necessary.7 -
Going on a vacation, so notify all clients that I won't be available during two weeks.
Client: well we have this huge presentation and here's a list of stuff we absolutely need for it
Me: sure I have a look.
Me: holy shit dude! That's gona take about 2-3 days. I'm leaving soon!
Client: it's realy critical to have them in a week as it's a very important presentation! Is there any way you can make it work? If we can do anything to help, just name it.
Me: well I'll do my best (planed 1 day for such rhings)
Me: *pulling a 15h day*
Me: here, all done budy! Did a 15h but now it's done, so do that presentation!
Client: oh, nice, but it wasn't that urgent
Me: ...
Next day:
Client ssh in to the server, fucks shit up
Client: well I did a thing and now stage and prod is fucked, can you do anything?
Me: (knowing it will take 30min to fix) well... I try my best. Btw. I'll leave in a few hours and won't take my computer, so try not to fuck every thing again, okay? -
Fellow front end coworker got asked via email today to "capitalize the '2019' in the headline".
Still laughing over this.15 -
Client: Please fix the logo.
Me: Okay, what needs to be fixed exactly?
Client: Put this word next to that word(shows me an example).
Me: Okay, no problem.
*after 5 minutes*
Client: You did not do what I asked for. Please fix the logo. Make it look better. Make it bigger and more outstanding. Dont change my logo
Me: Okay, I will revert the changes.
*Reverts to the old logo, and only does that as I do not fucking know what to do with oudstanding for fucks sake*
Client: I will talk to your boss. No one cares. My web site is not even finished and no one cares.
*It is finished, now the client looks for small things to make a big issue of*
Me: Could you please tell me in detail, what do you need to be fixes?
Client: I want the wording better. Im going to talk to your boss...
well fuuuck fucking fuck Im pissing blood!!!!!!!!!8 -
Apparantly, wanting to use company assets for a smoke machine so when clients visit you can say "Welcome to the cloud!" is immature.3
-
So, our clients missed their internal deadline this weekend so we as vendor were also forced to work for the weekend and implement new features in a very short period. I implemented new features and my project manager stayed to support the testing and sent me home as I already had tickets bought for the movie.
As someone who hasn't done any developing in a long long time he even tried to implement some changes and complex JavaScript dom manipulation that they asked during testing so that I could be with my gf.
Few hours later he called me and with a sad voice said he is simply too slow and needs my help after all . I came and we stayed until 00h and solved everything. He paid for the movie and taxi.
The thing that impressed me was that he was willing to took over my job so that I wouldn't break my deal.
Best project manager ever!
P.S. Yes my gf went alone at the movie and yes we are still together xD4 -
Dear clients.
Putting your support subject or content either in uppercase letters or telling US that your matter/ticket has 'the utmost priority' doesn't mean anything to us. You'll just have to keep in line.
WE decide the priorities. Also, calling us when we haven't looked into your very fucking high priority ticket yet for about 5 FUCKING minutes is NOT going to help YOU.
- One of the Linux Support Engineers.9 -
How the fuck did clients convince themselves they can have a developer build an Amazon, booking.com, Facebook, Airbnb or site of the sorts for 500 bucks on FUCKING WORDPRESS?!9
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One of our clients deploy their own server app. So this happened after a prod deployment. (4am)
*Cellphone rings while sleeping*
Client : we need you on the conference call now. URGENT!
*Gets on conference call*
*Client explain the problem*
*Explaining to the client that the problem is in their side (https connection not working, either network or certificate problem)*
*Client doesn't believe it and pushes me for a fix that I have no control on*
*4 hours later in a heated conversation*
Client : ok problem is on our side. We used our SSL certificate from staging with production and thought it would work.
Me :
5 -
"Oh c'mon, my 14 yr old son can change background color of entire website and you're charging me extra for simple face detection feature?"6
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Ok, so I have a SAAS website where users pay a daily fee to use my platform as there fundraiser landing page.
A new client comes, asks for a discount, and got a 50% off because his brother was a previous client.
Him: Can you please add a list of the days of the year so a donor can donate a day?
Me: Sure, sounds like a good idea, and will probably take me about a week to implement with testing etc. And so I want $$ (hourly rate * one week) for the work.
Him: Don't bluff me I understand a bit in programming, it shouldn't take you more than an hour, and I am paying you, so you should do it for free.
Me: Ok, here is a fair deal, since you understand in programming, build it for me, I give you two weeks and I will pay you double what I am asking for.
Him: I don't understand enough to do it myself, I just estimated how much work it is.
Me: Forget about it, if you want me to build you this feature, you pay. If not you can go to my competition happily.
Who needs bad clients at all?
Why do they think they know everything?
And why don't they understand that time is money?5 -
Some clients are a real patience test.
Client:
"I want to be able to edit every detail on every page of the whole website"
After site is coded, and admin page is available for page edits, they send requests like:
"please update the text on page x"3 -
fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking clients!13
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!rant source: LinkedIn;
Yesterday I met with a potential client who wanted a website. I gave him a quote of X. He said, do this work for X/2 as I have lots of projects and I can keep you engaged for months.
If it was 2 years ago, I'd have happily accepted his proposal. But in the past 2 years I have learned this lesson hard way. Don't work for clients who don't pay well, because when a developer is not paid enough, the quality of work degrades. Hence the portfolio is degraded and so the future projects are also of low budget.
And before you know it, you will be surrounded by low paying clients who see you as a Skilled Labour.
Today, I don't negotiate, not even a single dollar. To justify my cost I make sure that no stones are left unturned while delivery.
It's better to work for 10 hours a week for 40$/hr then to work 40 hours a week for 10$/hr.3 -
Clients can such cheapskates, client asks me for hosting options, I suggest Webfaction ($10/m), decent service, storage etc. Client goes and buys ($20/year) hosting, storage space 2GB. Client has 2.9GB worth of emails. Now am charging said client ($110) for migration.4
-
Ok, so I don't work yet and so I've never had to deal with any clients but based on the rants i have read this is how stupid I imagine most of them are.
Dev: Hey, would you like a chocolate bar?
Client: Yeah, sure.
Dev: here:
*hands chocolate bar over*
*client holds it in his hands, opens it and eats it*
Client: Tastes great
Dev: Ok, nice. So about the payment of the project...
*Clients face is swollen and he falls to the ground*
Dev: uhh, what are you doing?
Client *coughing*: Were.. were there nuts in the chocolate bar?
Dev: uhmm, yes. didn't you look at it?
Client: why didn't you tell me??!?!?!? I am allergic to nuts!!
Dev: uhh, I didn't know that. But srsly, did you not look at the wrapping of the fucking chocolate bar??!
Client: I am going to sue you!! You will go to prison!
Dev: Fuck off *leaves the room*
Image of the chocolate bar:
5 -
When I opened my digital agency it was me and my wife as developers, I had no savings and I needed to get long contracts ASAP which luckily I did straight away.
Lovely client, had worked for them before as a consultant so i thought it would be a breeze. Let's just say the project should've been named "Naivete, Scope Creep and Anger: The revenge".
What happened is that when this project was poised to end I naively thought I would be able to close the job, so I started looking for a new full time consultancy gig and found one where I could work from home, and agreed a starting date.
Well, the previous job didn't end because of flaws in my contract the client exploited, leaving me locked in and working full time, for free, for basically as long as he wanted (I learned a lot the hard way at that time) and I had already started the new agreed job. This meant I was now working 2 full time shifts, 16 hours per day.
Then, two support contracts of 2 hours per day were activated, bringing my work load to 20 hours/day.
I did this for 4 months.
The first job was supposed to last one month, and I was locked into it, all others had no end in sight which is a good thing as a freelancer, but not when you are locked into a full time one already. I could've easily done one 8 hours shift and two 2 hours jobs per day, but adding another 8 hours on top of it was insanity.
So I was working 10 hours, and sleeping 2. I had no weekends, didn't know if it was day or night anymore, I was locked in my room, coding like a mad man, making the best out of a terrible situation, but I was mentally destroyed.
I was waking up at 10am, working until 8pm, sleeping 2 hours until 10pm, working until 8am, sleeping 2 hours until 10am, and so on. Kudos to my wife for dealing with account and project management and administration responsibilities while also helping me with small pieces of code along the way, couldn't have survived without the massive amount of understanding she offered.
In the end:
- I forcefully closed the messed up contract job and sent all the work done to another digital agency I met along the way, very competent people, as I still cared about the project.
- I missed a deadline on my other full time contract by 2 days, meaning they missed a presentation for Adobe, of all people, and I lost the job
- The other two support contracts were finished successfully, but as my replies were taking too long they decided not to work with us anymore.
So I lost 4 important clients in the span of 4 months. After that I took a break of one month, slept my troubles away, and looked for a single consultancy full time contract, finding it soon after, and decided I wouldn't have my own clients for a good while.
3 years since then, I still don't have the willpower or the resources to deal with clients of my own and I'm happily trudging along as a consultant, while still having middle of the night nightmare flashbacks to that time.2 -
What is it with clients who have never even seen a single line of code in their entire lives telling me how long they believe a certain change request should take to code.
I mean, what if I told you that your "seemingly simple enough" change needed an update to 36 class files, 9 oracle stored procedures AND several database schema changes. Also, who the fuck is going to perform a regression test to make sure I didn't break anything? Your Uncle Bob??6 -
Me: How big do you want the banner to be (in pixels)?
Client: Mhhh... do default size
DEFINE 'DEFAULT SIZE' STUPID MORON9 -
Fuck those clients which are surprised when they get an invoice when they ask you to do something for them.
I think it's as simple as:
- you know my hourly rate
- you ask me to do some work for you
- I give you an estimation
- you agree with the estimation
- I get the job done and show it to you
- you accept the edits/solutions
- I send you an invoice with less hours than estimated
- you agree with the invoice and pay
It seems that every step is going well, except the last one...
Well... fuck you too.13 -
A few months ago, I decided to let go some old clients with bad behavior and/or bad projects, since I noticed this was affecting my mental health (lowering my self esteem, make me feel depressed, anxious, etc).
I was exhausted of doing miracles in projects without git, build files, staging enviroments (yes... you can imagine), and receive all sort of curses when sudenly something stopped to work.
I set some requirements to work with any new project/client: 1) project needs to be under version control, 2) it must have staging enviroment, 3) I must work with build files.
As I still have contracts running, I'm communicating this to clients as soon as I finish my obligations.
Today, one of these clients told me they are leaving to work with another developer.
Reason: They said my new requirements are unreasonable and they prefer doing the old way.3 -
App nearing completion. Code tested, everything's working fine. Ready for release.
The client just calls me and tells me that they have decided to turn the app into two separate ones. Should not be a problem, you developers must have some tricks for that, according to the client. Of course, the release date remains unchanged.
Clients!, finally understand that there's no secret button for turning an app into two separate ones.5 -
So this client wanted a demo on Dockers. So I gave the demo with some microservices running on different containers. Later the clients come back and say, "Docker is good. But please fit all the microservices in one container." I say but that defeats the purpose of microservices. But no, the client say. I tried explaining but no is no. Shit!! Fine! Have it your way!!5
-
The worst part about being a web developer is when clients ruin a perfectly good website by asking for dumb things, even though you told them it's either:
a) near impossible
b) not useful/helpful to users
c) deprecated/no longer used code/techniques
e) will harm performance and SEO
d) just plain stupid8 -
True story.
Some clients (especially in India) don't want to pay, but they want everything to be implemented in the project.
Big data.... Check
Machine learning.... Check
Deep learning..... Check
Espresso maker.... Check.
They want all the buzz words that are buzzing to be put in your project and they want you to put it in the 'cloud', for which you have to pay.....10 -
A few months back, me and my friends built our own Web Dev firm. I'm the one who talk to clients, customers, etc. and these have been the most ridiculous messages I received from them:
1. I don't like it, but I don't know why?
2. I have an idea! Can we change the design?
3. We want something with more of a `wow` factor.
4. Can't you just copy their logo?
5. But we are also a startup. You must understand that we can't pay the full price.
6. So do you have the file open and ready to edit/
7. Can't you just copy and paste it in?
8. We don't have much of a budget but there are plenty of projects coming your way.
These are just a few of the huckleberryfuck our clients sent. I'm not sure if I can handle them anymore.5 -
2010: Thick native clients are the worst, thin clients only. JS is the future!
2014: Thin client dev is hard across devices, native thick clients is the future! Swift all the things
2017: React native, hold my beer4 -
I hate clients that tell the developers what to use without discussion.
We're paid to solve problems.
Dictatorship on tools and methodologies are okay with junior devs or interns, but when you have senior devs, it has to be a democracy.
Having limitations like browser versions or server capabilities are fine, but declaring which slider to use, you MUST use jquery, or all that jazz just grinds my gears.5 -
!rant but nightly thoughts about wrecking clients that won't pay
If you're building something for a client for money, think of a killswitch.
If it requires internet anyway and you have a webserver, do something similar to what the killswitch of WannaCrypt was (but rather checking for a file on the webserver for existing/non-existing). If the client won't pay, kill the application. If the client pays, maybe even deliver a version without killswitch later (as a "bugfix")
If it is some offline project, you can check for a date (payment due date?) and also check for date/time manipulation on the system itself, and disable the killswitch via a "bugfix" version later just like above.
If clients pay, they don't have trouble. Else, they do.8 -
I just hate it when clients with no knowledge of developing says I'm looking for "more professional"
FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!
Somebody did that with dedication and you can't just call it that!!
SCREW YOU!!!
😡😡😡😡😡15 -
Bout to loose my shit. Fucking hate it when clients push and push to launch the system as urgently as possible. Say they have run through the test version and understand what they are getting and sign it all off. Then come back 2am the day after launch and bitch and moan cause its missing features they thought where there when they weren't part of the original planning and always use the excuse "i have just bought a bunch of marketing, your loosing me money" or "I have an important even with important people that need this tomorrow" and try make it your fucking problem.
Firstly, fuck you
Secondaly, fuck you.
I cant even comprehend your lack of logic.5 -
I can't complain about clients on devRant because I make a REST API and some of my clients use devRant. Oh wait.
-
One of our existing clients who used to pay for two of our products but now only pays for one just called us. The one he canceled is a loss prevention product that tracks internal theft in stores. He canceled it because he didn't feel it was worth it.
Now, he's calling us from a police station because he's trying to press charges against one of his managers because they were presumably stealing from him.
"Hey I need to know how many times this person stole from me over the last few months and I need to know it now because I'm at the police station."
With just a few clicks that would be an easy figure to retrieve for him had he not canceled our product.
My stance is he can get lost. I don't even think he sees the irony of canceling because "it isn't worth it" and then "asap" needing the data that the "worthless" product provides. Of course, he wants it without reactivating the subscription.
Unbelievable.5 -
So last night was a Friday. After leaving the gym I noticed a missed call and a voicemail from my client.
Note this was sent at 21:50 on a Friday night.
My client stated they were "rather disappointed" (to use their phrasing) that I didn't answer. There is no contract that I answer out of hours or any issues with their system.
This morning, I noticed my client followed up with an email. It was a single line saying they found some new AWS services they like to talk about (translate: "I've found some new AWS acronyms that sound cool that I wish to talk about for several hours").
Emergency! :)
Seriously, clients, sometimes :(
4 -
Why are clients so ignorant and stupid?!
Send them the software with specific instructions WHERE to install it. Location is important as it is a plugin for AutoCAD.
First mail with complains about the plugin doesn't work. Find out (in the mail they sent internal) that they installed the plugin somewhere else than I instructed them.
Sent an email back with (again) an explanation why it doesn't work and where to install the plugin.
Email from client: So I put the plugin here [incomplete and invalid location] and create the last folder myself...
FOR FUCK SAKE SRUPID ASS IGNORANT DOWN SYNDROM (sorry folks) MOFO CLIENT!!!!
I SENT YOU UP TO 3 TIMES WHERE TO PUT THE GODDAMNED PLUGIN!7 -
Clients always add up:
- The time it took you to create the project.
- Enhancement times.
Client: "How are we still working on this a year later?"
Me: "Well motherfucker, you requested a change recently. It has nothing to do with the original request, nor the last 39 updates."
Like it's my fucking fault you keep changing your mind.3 -
Here's to clients who wish to pay "per project" instead of "per month". Man, fuck that.
Back when I was still a novice, I took on a couple of small time projects from clients who contacted me after looking at my GitHub, and they all wanted to pay me a lump-sum for the project. Because I'm an idiot, I thought sure, what difference would that make. Boy was I wrong.
What followed was me finishing the projects well before time but because of the clients' constant reiterations and changes in design and nitpicking every decision I made while creating the websites for them, the projects dragged on for weeks longer than they were originally intended. And I fucking got paid that one-time amount in the beginning. All this maintenance, for free. Even though I had not explicitly agreed to the maintenance part, since they never finalized the specifications of the project, it just never got "done" officially, and all the maintenance part just came under development.
How many different kinds of disgusting does someone have to be to do this? I should've fucking said NO to those terms, but I had to have experience. Well, nice experience that was. Never again. :(1 -
So, it has been 2 months and a half since I started working. So far I learned two important things.
1. Clients are fucking retards. Like really fucked up shit. I don't even understand how they got the job.
2. Working for a company is nothing like an internship. I now realize much they treated me like shit during my internship compared to my current job. I did my internship in a startup and I now work in a big multinational company, I feel way more welcome in this company than in the startup
So far I really enjoy my work and I've been learning more for the past 2 months than during my studies.6 -
You know how we all get frustrated with new clients who don't provide enough information or detailed background of what the last dev did or tried?
Careful what you wish for. Just took on a new client who has sent 3 separate Word docs, all organized and color coded and fully detailed with the website's life history. All 24 pages of it.
We are supposed to fix the checkout flow and organize the download directory. That's all. -
Has any of your clients asked you to disable inspect element and right click on webpages to protect their COPYRIGHT images from being downloaded...19
-
Why the hell does the client keeps changing the bloody specs? Do they think that they've bought us with their money?
😣😣😣😣6 -
Throughout my career I've blocked a total of three toxic clients.
They still find me via email.
Most recently, I've gotten an email simply asking "how does BitBucket work and how can I use it?"
LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!!8 -
Clients don't know what they want!
Was handed a detailed report and asked if I could create a webpage to dynamically generate the same thing from our database. Sure its ez ps lemon squeezy.
Simple page and database query. Boom, done. Exactly matched what they gave me.
They ask why some of the data isn't there. Uh well you cunts it wasn't on the original report...so it's not there obviously.1 -
How clients tend to not understand how much work developing a "simple" or "small" feature can be.
Hey add live chat, that's easy right?2 -
I fucking hate it to work for clients ... also i fucking hate it not to have any clients to work for.1
-
Wish me luck. I HAVE to launch 10 websites (yes, ten) this week and half if not all of the clients don't know their DNS accounts or log ins. I foresee a lot of long nights in my near future. Story of our life, right?5
-
Let’s see I suppose the most pissed off I’ve been at work would be....
Being blamed for a clients mistake when their newsletter email settings where being changed over to a new mailing system but during the change over they wanted to still send out mail using the old list. So a single endpoint was kept in place so they could send one last newsletter out after it was approved as part of the migration and they were to inform us when they were done so we could change that endpoint over.
Several months later when everyone had long forgotten about it, the client tried to send another mass mail out using the old endpoint and complained when no emails had been sent.
I was blamed for making this mistake even though management approved the fucking old endpoint to be left in place at the clients request against my concerns that someone’s going to forgot about this and I was never informed to swap it over.
I quit on the spot and walked out the door after that. -
I work as the entire I.T. department of a small business which products are web based, so naturally, I do tech support in said website directly to our clients.
It is normal that the first time a new client access our site they run into questions, but usually they never call again since it is an easy website.
There was an unlucky client which ran into unknown problems and blamed the server.
I couldn't determine the exact cause, but my assumption was a network error for a few seconds which made the site unavailable and the user tried to navigate the site through the navbar and exited the process he was doing. It goes without saying but he was very angry.
I assured him there was nothing wrong with the site, and told him that it would not be charged for this reason. Finally i told him that if he had the same problem, to let me know instead of trying to fix it himself.
The next time he used the site I received a WhatsApp message saying:
- there is something clearly wrong with the site... It has been doing this for so long!
And attached was a 10 second video which showed that he filled a form and never pressed send (my forms have small animations and text which indicates when the form is being send and error messages when an error occurs, usually not visible because the data they send is small and the whole process is quite fast)
To which I answer
- It seems that the form has not been send that's why it looks that way
- So... What an I supposed to do?
- click send
It took a while but the client replied
- ok
To this day I wonder how much time did the client stared at the form cursing the server. -
So we are having lunch on a normal day when our boss announced that one of our clients are visiting and our boss is telling us to standby and act like we are working so that the clients will see us in action.
WTF!? Is this company *that* desperate!? Then they should hire actors not developers2 -
So today a client requested that the domain name in the address bar should be all capital letters because of corporate design. Don't get me wrong, this is a valid request for someone who has no experience in the IT world. But he refused to believe me that it wasn't possible. He even claimed that he has seen it at least hundred times and called me incapable. I don't get clients.1
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I really wish people valued health over profit.
So I joined a company last month and last week I got assigned to the biggest client we have. The project is quite big and there are no deadlines coming up. I was sick for a couple of days and hence could not turn up at the office. Apparently the client called up my manager and went on a rant about this situation. So now I have to work on the weekends to cover up for the missed work while on meds that make me sleepy.
Fuck such clients.2 -
Clients: give them some free extra cheese and they'll just complain they don't have enough crackers.1
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My first project at the job was implenting a website, designed by the same company we mostly worked with.
It was very stressful because half of the 2 months calculated for finishing the project, these genius designers needed for their design. Until then, I had almost no tasks to do...
When the designs finally came, I worked on it and two weeks later was a meeting for review and to decide about some details.
These fuckers then concluded, that the whole design did not fit the page and that they would rework it.
Two weeks later, on the planned release day, we finally received it. A completely fucking different design! Wow!
My boss was pretty angry and so was I. We had to move the release 4 weeks ahead, the client was pissed like a stinking hobo and it needed a lot of convincing to keep that client...
It's fucking nerve-wracking as well that we always have to wait in most projects for weeks for clients or designers to add the content before we can publish a website.
They don't seem to care if they have 2 months or 2 weeks, we never were able to release one single project on time, because of these lazy fuckers...3 -
In my wallowing experience as a freelancer I've noticed that almost all C/C++ clients are perfectionist. You just can't please them by getting the job done quickly.
I got a libcurl job from one the other day to scrape data from a target website and within an hour it was ready. I notified the client and he was both amazed and confused assuming it would take the whole week.
C++Client: The code works but you need to take your time.
Me: Sorry?
C++Client: Yes, it works but you used "string" instead of "wstring"
Me: 😊 Oh okay... *converts strings to wstring*
C++Client: And also variable names should be more descriptive.
Me: 😏 *int foobar => int very_long_descriptive_foobar_01*
C++Client: And also use "shorts" for page nums it'll save some bytes
Me: 😕 *int => short...*
C++Client: And also use forloops instead of whileloops
Me: ☹️ *whileloops => forloops*
C++Client: And also use -- instead of ++ in loops
Me: 😤 *for(... i++) => for(... i--)*
C++Client: And also...
C++Client: And also...
C++Client: And also...
C++Client: And also...
C++Client: And also...
C++Client: And also...
C++Client: And also...
===> Seven "and also" days later <===
Me: *completed 10 Java projects behind the scene*
C++Client: And also use pthread instead of thread
Me: 😧 It's day 7 already!
C++Client: Oh I see, great job. You can compile and send me the archived source.
Me: 🤩
C++Client: And also...
Me: 🏃💨11 -
Clients that add you on Facebook and start asking at 3 AM how their project is going.
No this is my personal life, how about you get lost and call or email me during working hours. -
Client has an "urgent" release that needs to be launched immediately... So they keep changing the spec every few minutes with new changes, but are upset that the product isn't launched yet. Lol. Got to love clients.1
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Why the fuck do managers think beacuse a component has been build by another developer a shit ton of time ago, we can still reuse that fucking code.
For fucks sake, I had to rebuild a whole fucking map component that needed contextual filter and the fuckers just add extra functionality without consulting me. And gave me a tight schedule bc the customer, who btw disappeared for 6 months, will be mad for wasting his precious fucking time.
Fuck these clients.11 -
I just saw the most astonishing repo that will be 100% useful for developers who don't get paid by clients
I can't stop lmao
https://github.com/kleampa/not-paid1 -
I'm a perfectionist and like things done the right way, but had to learn to let go and remind myself it's the clients site and their choice. No amount of logic and reasoning is going to stop a hellbent client from wanting the dumb things they want, even when it's bad for design, performance, usability and/or SEO.1
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Haha really clients make me laugh!
Yes you can have your website with all the bells and whistles, but sorry it costs money.
Do these people think we live on fresh air, while the reep the rewards for all the hard work we have done for them.
The problem today is everyone wants everything for nothing. 🤔1 -
The biggest lesson I learned in Frontend Dev is: listen to users, not clients.
There are so many rants about stupid ass clients on here, and when you let clients treat you like that, it's kind of your own fault. Look at how people use your interfaces and you will immediately see what's bullshit about them. When you have user behavior as an argument basis, clients will listen to you.2 -
Has anyone who's running a start-up had to deal with email happy clients?
I just watched a thread of 14 emails be generated for sending a maintenance contract which was already agreed upon.
Most of the emails are "thanks for the reply........."
To which some one will reply " thanks for the reply.........1 -
There are clients who always suggest an idea then after they suggest they will say "...again don't do this yet, its not a big deal blah blah blah"
Then the other day they will ask if their idea is already implemented.
🤦🏻♂️6 -
Clients r wankers. He wants to be able to send login details incl passwords in email to his clients when he adds them in the cms. The passwords are encrypted and generated on creation of a new user. Ive told him that sending credentials in email is shit and not secure. The stubborn bastard wont budge, so instead i've put explicit instructions to reset password once logged in with the credentials they send. Any other suggestions?3
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Get an email from a client, who has been stringing me along for about 6 months, but ringing me up for advice on tonnes of different shit for free. Basically did his original website but his business model has changed to make his existing site irrelevant. Suggested months back doing a simple one pager as a stop gap with key messages. The bastard said no to that "just take it down for now and redirect to my LinkedIn page". He keeps saying we are getting stuff together and we hope to get together in September. However, yesterday he sends an email "we are getting a student in over the summer (not a Dev or designer or anything). Could you recommend any "web builders" so we can get on with the website in August. By that he means those drag and drop fucking pieces of shit website templates full of wysiwyg editors for creating shit typography. I give them free help and guidance and they think that I'm not going to want to smash him in his fucking face for his last email. The cunt.
I have an idea for 'having the last laugh' but I am open to suggestions from some devRanters, all legal of course.
P.S. I post quite a bit here about shitty clients, but I do have a number of really good clients who value my work and experience and have been with me for many years. It's just some that treat the profession with disdain and that they can easily do it themselves if only they had the time. These fuckers then wonder why their businesses fail.1 -
I'm pretty much sure somewhere in the wide world Web there's a clients community joking about ordering developers to fix their printers and stuff...
while making EEEEVILLLL laughs.
1 -
Clients defining exactly how they want to build something they don't understand is a bit like me telling a brain surgeon to use a butter knife to perform surgery.1
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Boss asks us to make sure out documents/instructions to clients are idiot-proof. I am not disagreeing this but usually clients are more idiotic than the most idiotic idiot you can ever imagine...4
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!rant
Lovely and thankful clients do exist!
Last week the client of our last project came to my desk to shake my hand and thank me for my well done work. Keeping in mind that I'm a junior dev and our company has around 3000 employees I was really flattered :)1 -
I may have over delivered my service to this first customer i got.
It doesn't help that pricing was dirt cheap and i over promised in a bid to make it attractive.
But in my hurry to please the client, I've been feeling so much stress since last 24 hrs. Dealing with customers suck. I hate this.
They can be little dumb and doesn't think much before blaming you if something's not working as expected.
I hate this feeling and now i remember why my initial business model was designed such that I wouldn't have to deal with clients.
But somewhere along the way, i forgot about that. :/
I wish I could get rid of this customer.3 -
I just overestimated the fuck out of some tasks because I knew the client would come back last minute and cut the deadline in half.
2 days later they do just that, luckily I overestimated the work so now it's all good.
The annoying thing is that they keep doing this, but since I work for an agency I have no power to drop this client since they give us a lot of work, so that sucks6 -
I usually work in a two person team on a hybrid application we are developing, using AngularJS and node.
This normally works okay, because he handles the back end (he's been on the project since January last year, I joined in August as a placement student), and I handle the front end.
However, due to Christmas holidays and such, he's ended up taking an entire month off, and won't be back until the end of January.
I've dabbled in back end before, some routes and that for SQL queries, but nothing serious.
Last Tuesday our core service for the application that needs to be updated in real time broke and pissed off the API provider because we were hammering them with requests.
My first day on back end and this happened. I didn't really know what to do, and had to call my teammate to ask what to do. I essentially just restarted things, and left them as is, until I could find a solution.
From there, I had to mock the operation of the service (which is a complex enough beast) to figure out the problem, and find a fix. Our app more or less hinges on this service, so if it messes up, it's the end times.
All of this while flying on what I've interpreted because the guy that's on holidays was the only guy that knows more about this project than I do.
To make things worse, the clients are being very particular because they're waiting on investments and don't have money to pay our company. So, if they're paying for 5 days work, they're going to put in 5 days of project development. The problem is that their interpretation of 5 days of project development has not changed from when there were two people on this project.
There are 40 tickets in this sprint (ends Friday) and 35 of them are assigned to me. Granted, not all of those take a day to do, but estimates don't mean anything, I guess.
Ganbarimasu.2 -
So pretty much all my clients have decided they are done working or responding to emails until the new year. Normally this would be fine and dandy, but I work in an office that says I have to be there every day still, and all my projects are in a state of "Waiting for Client Approval" so I can't move forward on anything.
I've spent two days so far just staring at my work pretending to do things while browsing the web, but I'm losing my mind here pretending to work when I could be doing other things. I still have at least 4 days next week where I will be in the office hoping someone responds, either say something is broke or tell me to push it live so I can get my projects out of limbo.6 -
Client texts me ‘can you resend the link to the test page with the video’
My response as not at my desk but remember the page name
Me: Sure it’s ‘website/vtest.php’
Client: i copied the url into my desktop browser and it doesn’t work.
Me: replace ‘website’ with your actual web address.
Dumb Fucking Clients4 -
There is nothing more fulfilling than working you ass off 2 days, learning a new technology, and getting it to finally work as per the requirements and then ...
getting told that the absolute cunt of a client forgot the release date, announced its release 2 days early and decided to casually ask why there is no app on the released URL (it's a tiny Agonizing Reality [AR] app meant as a gimmick on the invitation cards for an upcoming convention).
My boss told me, the thing I worked on is now being scrapped and will not be released.
Yes, I wish the clients could slowly die in agony by a tree growing out of their appendix. Nature shall reclaim their corpses and feed a happy pig which I would happily have a feast of. 🤗3 -
That one client who feels entitled to immediate feedback and response from you, yet they're not paying you on retainer and know good and well that you have other clients. Then they get condescending in their emails and cop an attitude when you (nicely I might add) advise them to find another developer if they want people to micro manage.
Yeah, I just fired that client. Not dealing with this anymore. Good thing about being a contractor is that you have the freedom to walk and have a backup plan. And if they try to come back, I'm hiking the rates if I even take them back at all.
😎✌️ -
No-contract client stops the project in the middle and wants his complete deposite (25%) back. How to tell this asshole that he has to pay even more??2
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I can't stand talking to clients on the phone!
One of my first freelancing clients used to talk to me for an hour at a time. I really wish I could have billed him by the hour, it took him twice as long to explain anything and then I'd have to get back in the mindset for what I was working on. The phone is just so disruptive.
I'm so much happier working for a company where the project manager deals with the client's and product managers.2 -
We have a client who calls us right after sending an email in order to inform us that she sent an email. Guess she doesn't know anything about notifications!5
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Don't you love when clients who don't know shit about your system tell you that they have you a solution to your bug.1
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So I guess one of our clients suddenly switched to a different website service... Without being told. I went to their website and it's so not what I worked on. I still have pending tasks for it, but I guess not anymore.
I think it's the same case with another client from before. -
My boss just said “as long as it puts a smile on the clients face, it’s worth examining, within reason.” Yeaaa that’s a bit broad... Some of our clients only smile when they have hookers and blow on hand. Is it reasonable to help them acquire such if it helps retain them as a customer?!2
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"Can you teach us how to do x? If not, how much would you charge for doing it yourself?"
Bitch, my time is valuable, if I teach you, I'm gonna charge you anyway... -
Database is being slow AF again. Team lead is investigating. This is happening more often lately and affects both production and dev because everything is just in one gigantic database. So clients are calling support being angry about the speed they get and us devs get to twiddle our thumbs while waiting for our own data to load.8
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Spend >3 days preparing a proposal to a potential client...made it a bit cheaper to get into the company...
Now I'm too cheap to be good apparently...
FUCK CLIENTS!!!1 -
Why do clients wait for 17:55 before asking you to fix that nuclear reaction bug or that new "little insignificant feature i can't live without" ? Seriously, what the hell is your daily job ? Because i really want to switch to it.3
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I was working on a new feature for this legacy project.. Just minding my own buisness then all out of the blue I got an email from our client (before the email I exported the live database because I needed to reproduce a weird bug) saying the sync stopped working
<backstory>
The database needs to sync every 15 minutes because it has a master-master relationship with a 3rd party database..
</backstory>
So I was like shiiit! Did I do that!? So I checked the logs, nothing... I called the 3rd part to check if they have problems, nothing.. Then I checked the network logs... Again all fine... 30 nervous minutes later, I got a new mail... Saying it finally synced... Still have no clue what happened or if it ever was a problem... God damn clients man... -
I'm supposed to be the introverted, non-people person! But the client meetings I'm in for my college senior project go off the rails into awkward mumbling unless I step in and take the tiniest bit of effort in driving a meeting.
Am I doomed folks to become a BA or other person dealing with clients all day, pls end me now2 -
LAMP site. Client: Can you stick it on a USB stick, I need to show it at an exhibition and there's no internet. Me: If I had your laptop I could potentially replicate the server set up to run it locally. Client: I just want it on a USB stick?6
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What the fuck is clients' problem? This woman comes to me after one of the last bids I saved and spent on her stupid task! She asked me to come on skype and I said I didn't have the ID and maybe we can go ahead with a phone call or whatsapp call or even Google hangout! She stopped responding to my messages when I had sent her 3 options! It's not like I was willing to back out but hey, I DON'T FUCKING USE SKYPE ANYMORE! What a waste of my precious last but one bid!
15 -
Client: I want a fixed timescale and cost on this project.
Me: OK, what do you need?
Client: We need to integrate our website with our CRM system, which we're in the middle of rebuilding and don't know what data will be available from it. We also want sophisticated Google maps integration, online sale, digital agreement signing and a customer login section that works as a social network for our clients. And we want it in six months time. And an app. And we want you to pitch for free with some initial design concepts. And we want details of you project management strategy.
Me: Ok... Do you know what you want your app to do?
Client: Yes, it's an app! So how much will this cost me?
Me: D':2 -
Client visits to Indian IT companies are extravagant affairs. It's Suit Up time, flowers and lights, decorations everywhere, Lavish Lunch and Dinners. While this happens I keep wondering, what goes in the mind of these clients. Are they excited, surprised, or they enjoy the hospitality.3
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The moment a client tells you to decide what they should pay and there is no deadline. I am amazed, really.1
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I told you fucking moron clients doing that "little" change would be complicated and in the worst case it would end fucking up your whole spaghetti crap. A really HUGE spaghetti monster of that you aren't aware because you guys don't know a shit about coding conventions.
*Clients call me complaining about their software is broken*
-Hey, we're in serious trouble. Our users aren't being able to see the proper calculated values. Why that little change had so much side effects?
- I already told you why.
- Can you fix it asap? Our clients are complaining.
- No. Deploy an old copy of the affected modules while you give me a prudent time to refactorize that crap.
- Refactorize?
- ...
I used to work in their place, 3 years later I quit that crappy job and decided to make them my clients. I escaped from the micromanaging thing but I didn't from their ugly practices.
Anyways, I have to fix this shit asap. Money talks, at least until I can find a better client. -
Man, I love it when clients aren't specific enough and then get angry because you didn't do EXACTLY as they pictured it. :)
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A server's purpose is to serve clients. So if a server is down, it can't serve clients. So it's no longer a server, amirite?2
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TL;DR: Clients are still dumb.
The sequel to a previous rant ...
https://devrant.com/rants/1210209
——
Client IT Lead: "We've loaded your code into our website, but *this* particular part of it isn't working."
Me: "Fair enough. I'll make a fix and have it deployed."
... an hour later, my changes are deployed, and I notify the client that the fix is live ...
CIL: "Thanks for fixing that so quickly! Just a heads up, but I've noticed that some of our own code needed fixing, so I've gone ahead and made some tweaks <that will most definitely break your code>."
... another hour passes ...
CIL: "Hey, so, I don't know what happened, but that fix you pushed stopped working."
——
🤔🔫 -
When you're pitching to a whole team of clients at a resteraunt, and you find out a minute in that their WiFi is terrible. Pages that take less than a second to load take 30 seconds. Talk about first impressions. ....2
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Clients that want to tell a programmer the logic flow of their program:
if x > y, "A" happens
if x < y, "B" happens
WHAT OF THEY ARE EQUAL?!?!?3 -
"we need to account for every device and every browser that our clients are using" -_- stop using ie, you're the only "client" that will be using it to view your site. promise.
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For all freelance Devs out here.
How do you get clients ?
Because am planning to begin with freelancing but am afraid that i won't be able to get any clients.4 -
Today I had to write some shitty code that should work on ie in compatibility mode which is like ie in Version 6. I only coded on the clients system and never backed up. Silly me. Every think worked so I continued with another clients project. Suddenly my colleague came in our office and told me that the client deleted my code by accident. I never will keep code on client systems only again in the future.1
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We're having a training session on how to speak with clients because we're getting feedback that we seen annoyed in our emails.
Probably my fault, not that I mean for that to bleed through into my replies1 -
Damn clients, they'll never tell you what they want.
And when you give them something, they'll point out useless "problems".
Either do it yourself, or give exact specifications -
I often get angry at clients. Especially when keep trying to sneak in new requirements into an already frozen project. Like, were you asleep when we went through a month of design and vetted every pixel with you? Grateful the PM handles them with finesse.
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Never had a more stressful day of dev in my life. After shooting off about half a million emails today to clients who decide that they want their sites to go live over the long easter weekend (fuck knows why they all want it this weekend) I just need some beer and some Zelda. I love this job but sometimes it kills me1
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quote when asking what cleints budget is for a job....
"ah yeh hence the when your ready but it wont be paid at the start but should it pick up the will be some form of payment avalible to you"
needless to say this is the same client who is the original meeting states "wait so why is this costing me loads for a custom website can we not give me the rates for if this is a project im working in the side"
well only if im allowed to treat it as something that wont get done.2 -
It’s the indian clients everytime!!
I myself an Indian and still I am saying this, Indian clients are the worst.
I had more or less 4 clients from my own country india and literally everyone of them were the worst.
Irony is as an Indian myself I hate to work with typical Indian clients.11 -
Having to work for clients sucks. They are so rude. "We sent an issue over yesterday and it's still not fixed". You think you're our only customer? You think this shit is automated and takes no time to fix? You think you have resources working on you stuff 24/7. You don't man. Get in the queue and be grateful a load of time and effort goes in to your website. Sit down and stfu. Ahhh... that's better.1
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Could a freelance dev let me know how they find clients? Not just the ones from sites online and such, but the good clients, 3-4 month projects, proper prices?4
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Development planning:
Expectation:
Gather the requirements then estimate the deadline.
What are clients did:
Here is the deadline, then here are the requirements that we must squeeze into it.1 -
What's up with clients not providing all the information about the project and wants timeline in 1 day.2
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so i made a JSON file to collect devRant projects
it can be accessed by a get request to the API endpoint:
https://raw.githubusercontent.com/j...
im pretty sure the api will always work even in the future, aslong as github exists
most of the projects at this point ~40 come from the devrant-awesome Github repository made by Skayo.
If a project is missing feel free to create an issue!
the use cases are to bring projects closer to users, by adding showing them in clients.
and i've also added an implementation of it to skyRant (see picture)
the github https://github.com/joewilliams007/...
4 -
I hate it when the clients seem so interested and then stop replying to your emails as soon as you send them your quotation for the project.2
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Keeping the clients happy is very important but when you have alot of shit to do, being a glorified helpdesk bugs me the fuck out. My inbox is screaming at me: "Please no more... Master please end me!".
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The longer I work in my department, the more I grow to appreciate clients that actually know what they are doing. Or clients who have been communicating with us for so long that the emails got a little less strict and formal.
Having a client write something like "I know this mail looks scary long, but trust me, its just a few domain edits, nothing horrible" (freely-translated from my native language) just kinda... Sets me at ease and makes me chuckle.1 -
Been a mobile developer since April, liking the experience and the amount of projects that I've been a part of.
And one of the things that I've learned about this is that sometimes the client doesn't even know what he really wants. I mean for fucksakes, we implement everything, and new functionalities and there's always something that works on every other app (and is basically a standard) and he thinks is not suppose to be like that...
And another thing. Fuck Apple Store. At the company we've developed an app that practically shows information that only users should see (in our logic is sensitive information from our clients) and they DECLINED 4 FUCKING TIMES THE APP. Reason? Since the app's purpose "isn't correlated" with the basical information we show, the user can navigate through the app without going through login.
We basically added an "explore option" that shows basically nothing and they've accepted. FUCK APPLE FOR WAISTING OUR TIME AND THE CLIENTS TIME1 -
Screw email clients and their html rendering engine, especially you, outlook, fucking disrespecting most of my css stylings3
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It's been a little bit over two weeks since I quit my first job, thought I would share some stories 😁
I started my very first job in the middle of August (last year) and my duties were to fix some issues on front-end files. You can see my previous rants to see how long were these files 😐
So after 2/3 months I managed to get my shit done, started learning Vue on my own to implement it to new projects (and done it successfully) and learn something about shitty clients who don't know how to live and don't know what do they want.
When I quit the job on the last day of April, I was so happy to end it mostly due to this one specific client who were able to turn happy innocent coding of a great project into hellish shit. Plus there were some issues I noticed with some people I worked with (like they were sending these sexist memes which weren't funny at all 🙄)
TL;DR if you feel that your job post is not for you or that is doesn't make you feel happy or comfortable, don't be afraid to walk away. I did and I don't regret it 😉 -
Clients are total assholes, we all know it, just sharing my another depressed instance.
> be me, freelancing.
> client sends in an image of a webpage
> le me gently ask "What is the functionality here since this has a form?"
> Client explains
> OK let's do this because I have other stuff to do as well.
> Sends in demo
> Client: "Numerous typos, send again"
> Okay, sends again.
> Client Rages: "This still has typos. I thought you were a good developer. You look like a has-been.
I promptly quit the project and tried to explain to him the difference between a "demo" and a finished project. He was supposed to check the functionality of the fucking form, which he didn't.
Got a call to finish the project, him explaining nobody is working for him for given budget, he can't afford anybody in this town (literally), and I am not going back.3 -
my two friends and i might start an app/web development service.
the question is: how are three high school kids going to find clients that are ok with high school kids maintaining their apps & websites?8 -
Haven't been on devRant much lately because of all the urgent problems my clients are throwing at me...
2 -
Ohh god kill me!! Instructing to edit the project on the last hour is the biggest sin someone could ever commit!! Fuck clients.1
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The moment of decision whether to hardcode something or keep it dynamic ...cause knowing your clients ...they're definately gonna come back with more requirements
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Went into a client meeting to present pricing, timescales etc. for custom web app. After a short period of chit chat they tell me they've gone way over budget. They explain to me that they'll need to close their business if they don't get this thing built (the business consists of him and the other guy at the meeting). They currently have a website that is an e-commerce type deal, apart from the checkout process doesn't work! They basically want me to do it for free.
I may consider if I was going to benefit from new clients etc. but I'm not.
However, the problem is that one of my companies has been (IT) supporting this guy's other company for around 5 years. It's a bit of a shitty situation as that contract accounts for about 15% of our income.
That meeting was last Monday and I told them I would think about it. I have another meeting this Friday and am thinking I'm going to have to break the news gently ffs.3 -
One of the most annoying thing to explain to clients is caching and why their site isnt updated......,1
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I write code and deal with clients reporting bugs that are actually just misconfiguration or that are fixed in the latest release version, but they managed to forget deploying it for one particular separate service.
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Our clients came from abroad to have 4 days of business meetings and planing about next stage of product development. Of course they wanted to go shopping and to restaurants etc. Obviously they can not call a cab because they cannot say the name even close to its correct pronunciation. Who do you think needed to babysit them? You guessed right - me. FUCK MY LIFE2
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!rant
Does anyone else use the old “I’m not available today / tomorrow too” with clients when they come knocking?
Y’know, to let them know you’re not at their beck and call?
Am I evil?3 -
Urgh clients, it doesn't work ? Ok how bout you tell me the error that's causing it and I might be able to help
All I get is it does nothing 😐
And you think I can diagnose a problem that apparently does nothing, from at least 10miles away with no remote desktop 😞 -
Another potential client contacted me, they wanted a website building. I asked what the aim of the site was to the reply "there's no aim, a friend said I should get a website".
They run a gardening service. So I gave them a few examples of aims. They decided they wanted to showcase their work with the hope that it would bring in more jobs.
I emailed them a list of requirements as we had decussed over the lengthy phone call.
Two weeks after no response I get a call, "is my website built yet"
I explained that with the tiny budget and without content there is nothing really that could be built.
Needless to say I never heard from him again -
When I work for clients I despise, like those who ask for 10 things and while you're at it, those 10 things become 25, I just start the timer, go on reddit/twitter for some time and when I'm tired I start actual work...
Am I the only one like this? -
Motherfuck oh clients! My goodness their requirements.
They want a tiny part of an app load inside an iframe in a different app and have the data communicate both ways and the ui should look seamless and mobile responsive too.
What the actual fuck? iframe in 2016 ? Seriously?5 -
We had almost finished integration of debit card depositing for our application.
Yesterday, the clients told us they signed a contract with a new provider.
This is after telling us they'd signed the contract with the previous provider, but as it turns out, that's a lie.
So we have to scrap the entirety of the last 8 days work because the new provider is a shareholder in the client's company now.
The new provider doesn't have an SDK for our language, and what they do have is XML.
It's time to parse, I guess. -
I HATE CLIENTS, THE WORKS WILL NOT END IF THERE WILL BE A 246PX SPACE FOR 10 MINUTE FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK
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So the company I work for assigned me to a new clients project and has already proven to be a pain.
I checked all my emails late Sunday evening and replied to them (saves me the time in the morning) so I emailed this new client who was enquiring when a part of his website was to be done.
Me: I fully expect this portion of the functionally to be done by the tail of the week.
Client first thing this morning: why isn’t anything working you said it would be done.
Me: ...4 -
Dealing with clients is probably the biggest personal challenge. I'm not much of a people person, and I find it hard to converse with friends and people I've known for years, let alone clients who are looking for answers for why things aren't working, and wanting you to explain exactly (but in simple terms) why a thing that seems simple is so complicated.
Another challenge, which is somewhat related is expressing myself. This again, stems from not being super great or comfortable in conversations, but as a dev, even among other devs, your opinion on things gets asked a lot. For someone who was used to sticking with the status quo and mostly agreeing with things, stuff like peer code reviews, or giving pointers on how to implement something is a big challenge (but I'm improving)2 -
Is it just me or there is always a work emergency (or clients suddenly needing something new done right now) on the day before leaving for holidays?1
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Client: Hey, can you explain to me how this feature works? I'm totally confused.
Programmer: *explains the entire feature to client* Actually, you made the specs for this. *shows specifications document client created*
Client: Oh right. Sorry, completely forgot about that. It works great. But can we make some changes on...
OH HELL NO. -
The icing on this app release cake was piped this morning.
The clients released the app into the wild, without our knowledge, despite some rather large, glaring issues that are present.
As to why they thought it was a good idea, who knows?1 -
Why is it always so exhausting to communucate with clients?
It's been 11 fkin days since I started working on one really simple project, but it's still not done because client can't respond within 1 day...1 -
Fellow Freelancers, can you recommend a platform you use to track and share project progress with your clients?
What do you typically use to keep clients updated about project status? There a Fancy SaaS solution or do you use a simple excel file??
Would like some ideas and recos!4 -
Gotta love when smartass clients claim that the feature you are selling them should've been part of the package you sold them intead of an addon.
Yeah. Like they never heard of a software updates before.3 -
Some clients are down right stupid, the guy send me a shortcut to a video to upload to a site, this is man who wants the WordPress user manual
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Important merge request howto:
- Hey, I implemented very important server change and it doesn't break compatibility with current clients!
- Cool, but we don't need this compatibility code. We'll adopt our clients as soon as the merge request is accepted.
- Ok, I removed support of current clients.
- Cool, but it's too dangerous to adopt our clients rights now. We'll accept your merge request later. Some other day... somewhere... some other time... -
Do you also write long detailed emails to clients when working freelance / distance that your clients ignore and keep asking questions or inquiring things that are already answered in that email?
Sometimes I have to ask for the same thing three times in order to get an answer -
Hi everyone, long time no see! I have a question for you all.
Where does your company keep its clients’ code on GitHub? Is it everything in the company’s GitHub Org or does each client have a dedicated GitHub Org?
Any issues you guys have encountered with either approach?6 -
It's the time of the year when we waste some days playing PS at the office and repeat to ourselves:
- no one cares, it's almost Christmas!
I have a feeling that after December clients will come looking for blood, and we will work 20 hours a day...
But...
Who cares? It's almost Christmas! -
How do you deal with clients continuously rewriting the content for a static website and every time you deploy they rewrite it again?
Some pages of this site I'm currently working on are on their 6th version just for written content changes!
I wanna drive over there and punch them every time they do.5 -
One thing I realized about my workplace: when you're given a new template to be used for an existing website project, do NOT use the included CSS files. Seems like it would be better to just manually change the looks of the website to make it similar to that template, lest you want some alignment stuff to break.
Plus, it seems that I don't even need to meet all the design requirements, because whenever I try to do that, clients tend to forget the design they originally gave and request for all these changes.
One more month... One more month and I'm off to bootcamp to properly learn.1 -
Rant: I hate when clients complain about sizing so a team member changes my entire heading system just to change header size without going over it with anyone else I. The teach damn if it breaks shit other places or scrapped many hours of mobile testing, even better then changed class names some places ignoring our frame work and breaking mobile.
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Last week a client had a meeting regarding an app I built for them for this one time project. This meeting occurred Monday.
Thursday I get a call at 8 am where they ask if they can get some fixups regarding the UI by Friday.
This despite the client knowing I work more than full time at another company and only take his business on the side.
Why does this always happen? You deliver a product and don't hear from the clients for days or weeks and suddenly they pop up and ask for a fix by the next day?
Ugh...4 -
Hate it when clients told you a specific requirement but then changes it the last minutes. You can't justify or argue. Can't do nothing about it but only follow. Just a high paid slave.
Example:
Client-verbal: background color of all 5 pages
Me-with email verification: ok. I will bg color of all pages will be red based from our last meeting.
Client email reply: ok
After a few days
Client: I think we have misunderstanding. What I meant was 4 pages red only. The 5th page should be maroon.
Me in my mind: wtf. Of course I can't argue but just agree and follow. The demo is near and he'll just inform the last minute. I will not win this argument.
Also, there are no acceptance criterias in the user story.6 -
One of our corporate clients insists that we push changes and updates to production on either Saturday or Sunday. I've worked weekends for longer than I care to admit now.
A major update that completely changes both the data model and UI is scheduled for deployment this Sunday.
Monday is going to be hell with support requests. -
I hate when clients think they're always right.
Yesterday this client showed up saying that he had an emergency on computer, because after an update all icons turned white. When we told he the situation and that all data was lost, he begged to retrieve all the info because he needs it to work.
He was affected by ransomware, something like Fantom, and not only all the files are encrypted but also the backups.9 -
I read this thing today that went like -
Your friends won't become clients. But your clients can become friends.
It struck a weird chord in me ngl.10 -
I love it when clients call the website developer of the company and tell with how to do his job!
It's fascinating watching the struggle... -
Clients who's cocoapods are littered with deprecated junk, forcing you to downgrade your ide, deserve to crash and burn. Fucking stoneage gnomes, upgrade your shit.
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I have an opportunity to speak to a large and well mixed group of web designers and developers plus _clients_ of designers and developers. Part of what I want to cover is what affects the client/professional relationship and project(s) in both positive and negative ways. I want to include your (dev/designer) real world perspective on that. So, please share a positive and/or negative client behavior or experience that typifies how hard it is to work with some clients and/or easy it is to work with others. If you have a solution that works well for bad situations, I’d love to add that to my presentation as well. THANKS!7
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Spend two whole days solving an exception in a new feature, then the client decides that the old version is the way to go..1
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I have my own sole proprietorship and hate it. I am in an area that a ton of businesses need new websites. Their existing ones look like they were made in the 90's. I go in, have a seemingly great meeting. We talk about goals and looks. It ends with "send me something and I will have my IT guy look at it". Your IT guy...in a business with 2 employees. Then a few months later, they have a new website. Looks like it was made in 2002.1
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I'm in a GoToMeeting with a client right now and her baby is screaming into the microphone. Boy, I sure do love working with clients.1
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That feeling when your clients are very well aware that you're away on holiday but they still try to contact you to work on some last minute edits on a project.3
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If you are a freelance dev; how do you deal with clients that you don't want anymore?
For example: clients you have been working for a long time ago when your were younger/cheaper and knowing that they will never contact you again.5 -
Rant!
Cannot wait for DevRant stickers just so nusance clients, colleagues and manager discover this epic source of how much of an arse they are! -
Hey there! I was hoping you guys could tell me some cool and free ssh clients for windows :)
I am currently using putty.
What are your favourite ssh clients? :)9 -
If I'm so fucking vital to the meeting then why the fuck did you made the meeting so fucking inconveniently early for me so you can put your new fucking designers in the fucking call.
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Question for database gurus:
I need to save the openig hours of my clients in a database. Each day should have different opening hours and also the possibility for 2 breaks during the opening hours. There should also be an option for different local holidays for each client.
How to I acomplish this in a clean/performant/scalable way? Thank you for your answers!10 -
I pride myself on not being a nerd. I can communicate with customers and I don't dismiss aesthetics, marketing, delivery dates, and legal considerations as completely inconsistent and arbitrary.
But still, when clients complain about my predecessors, I start to feel for them and imagine when past developers
- preferred to rewrite the legacy system
- were reluctant to use Microsoft software
- needed much more time than estimated
- and failed to understand implicit requirements.
I know that there are a lot of developers in the world, but you need a decent or good one who is available and willing to work on your project.
As (web) developers, we should behave more like craftspeople, stay calm, and ignore entitled clients' and managers' moods and micro-management attempts unless there's really a critical issue.13 -
I don't know why do we need to entertain our clients for each and every thing. I mean I'm handling every fucking exception out there I have like 10 flags handling individual stuff. and if I raise this to my boss he will just say. if they are paying then we are doing it. I mean come on!
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What do you do when clients are not able to specify what they exactly want? Do we present them with one or more possible solutions?5
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Everyone here rants about clients, and as far as I understand frustration, I understand client's side too.
For 2 years I have developed a tool for our company, my manager was responsible for outcome and was directly accountable to company's management, which made him a client for our product. Of course requirements changed many times, he pressured us much, but he is nice guy and gave us knowledge why we had to change things again. We had meetings with him, HRs, PMs and others to gain requirements for features to implement and that made me better understand client's point of view.
My point is that when you work for external companies, you only see changing requirements, pressure, deadlines, etc, but don't think that your work is just a part of process - your client is responsible for your delivery, wants to make good impression on superiors or company needs some feature ASAP. He does not have to know tech stuff, he wants outcome to be good and to be fast and cheap - that is business.
And yes - we had to tell people that X is impossible many times, had to tell Y people how things work over and over. It may seem easier when it is your own company, but note that every single employee knew that you developed that tool and you have answers for his questions. -
Just wasted two hours finding out why one of our clients rest API is not working. Apparently it needs a referer header for no good reason and this is no where to be found in the documentation...
It is great that you even have documentation, but please include all basic details!! -
I may have asked this before...
Freelancers, what do you do wrt marketing / how do you find clients?10
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