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Search - "could you not?"
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*client calls in*
Me: good morning, how can I help you?
Client: my ip is blocked, could you unblock it for me?
Me: certainly! What's your ip address? Then I'll have a look.
Client: I'm not giving you my ip?! That's too privacy sensitive.
Me: 😶
Me: 😶
Me: 😶
Me: sir, I'm very keen on my privacy myself but without that information I can't do much for you 😬
Client: ah so you're refusing to help me?
Me: not like that, it's just very hard to lift an ip block for me when I don't know the ip address.
Client: you just don't want to help, fine.
*click*
😶32 -
Friend: Man you're a programmer why aren't you a billionaire already like the others??
Me: It's not that easy believe me.
Friend: I have a great idea for an app something like facebook...can be that hard?
Me: :/
Friend: you could do that instead of your no pay opensource shit...
Me: FUCK YOU AND YOUR STUPID BULLLLLSHIT GO FUCKING DIE YOU PIECE OF SHIT !!!! YOU HAVE NO FUCKING CLUE ..STUPID SON OF A BITCH.32 -
PM: Can you finish this in four weeks?
Dev: yeah sure, I can finish that in four weeks
Narrator: the dev could not finish it in four weeks10 -
Heard a conversation between my colleague and the boss
Boss: (saw my colleague's messy desk) hey, could you organize your desk? It's not nice to see when clients come in. You know what they say, messy desk represents a messy brain..
Colleague: (glanced over to the boss' empty desk) and what does an empty desk say for the brain?12 -
*at my study a year or longer ago*
Classmate: hey linuxxx, could you come take a look? What is this? *points at screen towards some code*
Me: you don't see it?!
Cm: no...?!
Me: you really don't see it?!
Cm: no!!?
Me: no for real, do you *REALLY* not see it?!
Cm: NO! TELL ME ALREADY!
Me: that's a screen 😊
Cm: 😑😠
😅10 -
Client: I want all cookies blocked on my computer.
Me: Are you sure? Some things won't work if i do that. Like using online banking.
Client: I don't use it, so it's fine.
*Two weeks pass. I have to come back and see three bankcards laying on the table*
Client: I'm not able to use online banking anymore. Can you fix it?
Come on! You pay me to give advice and help out with problems. The least you could do is listen.10 -
A few years ago, i got a call which went like this:
Phone: *rings*
Me: *looks at call, recognises the number and picks up*
Me: "Hello! Haven't heard from you in a while! How are you doing?"
Him: "I have a problem with my PC, could you..."
Me: *hangs up*
Aside from not even getting a "hello, how are you?" at the start of the call, here's the plot-twist:
A - This was my goddamn Brother calling
B - It was my goddamn birthday23 -
My boss saw me tweaking some css via chrome devtool on a prod website.
"Oh, isnt that our html code ? So every one could see it ? You should find a way to hide it, this is not an open source project!"
Didnt even knew how to answer ._.
This not how it works ...15 -
Friend: Hey, can you fix my laptop? The hard drive is almost full.
Me: (Looking through his folders) Maybe it's because of this. Why do you have 3000+ files in your downloads folder? Maybe I should delete some of this.
Friend: No no, please don't touch the downloads folder, I have some very important documents there.
Me: Why don't you move them to a separate folder then? You should organize the ones you actually need and delete the rest. This folder is a complete mess.
Friend: No no, the problem is not the downloads folder, there must be something else. Can't you just uninstall some programs to free up space?
Me: I could, but I don't know which ones you actually use.
Friend: What? You should know!! You studied computer science for this!!
Me: First of all, there is not a single class in the whole 4 years of university called "How to uninstall programs and free up space on 128GB hard drives of shitty €400 computers". Second of all, I don't know why you were expecting me to find a magic button on your laptop that immediately frees up all the space in a hard drive without actually deleting anything. That's not how computers work, you know.
Friend: Hey if you didn't want to help me you could have said so in the first place.
Me: FML18 -
Friend: Dude, could you look at my code, see what's wrong??
Me: Its not indented. Indent is properly first..10 -
Boss: if I could put together a counter offer, is that something you might be interested in?
Me: eh, no. I’ve accepted an offer for slightly less money than I’m on
Boss: oh ... oh ok. Right so there’s nothing I can do?
Me: afraid not. You can’t offer me a role not dealing with those people in the states, having to use their shitty custom tools or having to follow their bad practises all day.
Boss: ok ..... shit9 -
Once a customer wanted to pay our invoice cash in a meeting. Then he came up with 14995€. As we asked where the 5€ are he could not remember immediately, but then he yelled: OH YEA I GOT HUNGRY ON THE WAY TO YOU.6
-
Wife asked if she could see my Python so I pulled it right out.
She yells, "That's not what I meant and you know it! Show me your code!"
Now apparently I'm in trouble 😂7 -
This is so fucking, fucking annoying.
Client (through ticket system): here's new nameservers my domain has to use, please enter them thank you!"
Me: you can easily do that yourself! *gives link to extremely fucking easy click-done tutorial*
Client: oh but I'm not technical, could you please do it anyways?
HAVE YOU EVEN FUCKING LOOKED AT THE LINK?!
THIS SHIT HAPPENS EVERY GODDAMN DAY.13 -
Happened on my first day in internship :
Me: Hey, I'm not allowed to install anything, could you install me Sublime Text?
Boss: yeah sure, hold on, I'm granting you admin rights
Me: ...9 -
Next time you're using some FOSS soft, or bitching about it being buggy or the maintainer not responding to your tickets the same day - remember, that the author of that soft could be enjoying some nap time, playing with hie/her child(ren), having a fun time with fam/friends, playing PC games, going for a walk, cooking and choosing healthy food over fast snacks, doing anything he/she wanted.
But instead, the developer chose to spend that time building a tool, so you could have it, so you could do things faster/easier. So YOU could spend your free time the way you want.
So next time you're bitching about something not working, stop for a moment and first say THANK YOU to the author for that tool. If not for people like him/her, you would still be doing your chores with sticks and stones18 -
This happens way too FUCKING often:
Random person: Hey, can I have your number so I can text you?
Me: Yeah sure! *gives number*
*A few days later*
Person: Hey you gave me your number to message you but I can't find you on whatsapp???
Me: no indeed....?
Person: Well, then why did you give me your number?!?
Me: you asked if you could TEXT me, I don't have whatsapp.....?
Person: Ohh but I meant whatsapping.... that's like the same
THAT'S NOT THE MOTHERFUCKING SAME!!! TEXTING != WHATSAPPING YOU FUCKING COCKSUCKING MOTHERFUCKING ANNOYING PIECE OF GRRRRRRRRR5 -
Our teacher asked us to write an essay. Since I'm not a native English speaker, I asked him if I could write it in English (essays are easier in English). He was cinfused at first, but said:
-You can write it in any language!
Guess who has an html/css essay23 -
Dude! I have this amazing idea for a website! It's like a social network but for videos!
- uh like youtube?
No! Totally different because in this social network you could share the videos with your friends.
- so... like youtube
No man! Cause you could also rate and comment the videos!
- like youtube?
No! You're just not getting it man!
-...13 -
Two mobile devs were talking for 10 minutes in this zoom meeting whether "the component on the bottom should be hidden, or made sticky".
I just could not contain my laughter any longer when they showed an animated mockup comparison, and the product manager yelled excitedly: "Oh yeah, I love the one where it's very visible and sticky! But could you make it bigger for me?"
Sorry HR. I will never become a grown up boy.5 -
Woman: IF you could make all the people in this forum brawl, I would go with you tonight.
Man: (Type) PHP is the best language all over the world!
The whole forum goes into brawl...
Women: You got me. I shall go with you. Do whatever you want. Let's go.
Man: Hold! Not today! I must convince them all!joke/meme very looooooooooooooooooong i suppose joke hey how long can this tag be? php wow a new guy7 -
I found a duck today and just had to put a little cape on it 😂
I guess you could say..I really want the d 😏
Sadly I could not convince it to become my companion 😭8 -
I hate Linux so much. I mean, how could anyone of you barbarians like it??
I don't understand the hate for windows. It's secure, emphasizes privacy, and it's Microsoft. What's not to love?
Linux is just proprietary malware.26 -
Dear "managers,"
Stealing credit for something you have not done is real theft.
When I come up with an idea and a detailed outline of how to build and deliver it, you do not get to say "oh I also had this idea." You did not. How could you? It uses tech you don't even know exists.
When I then proceed to build the whole thing on my own without any of your inputs (then again, you have no idea of how it works, what would you bring to the table), you don't get to parade my project in front of the board not even mentioning my name.
You see, it's not the first time you pull that off, you have taken full credit for every thing.
it's not just my wee feelings getting hurt for lack of recognition: it has real world consequences.
You get the promotion, you get the salary raise and you now live in a flat with a balcony and a view, while my wife and I share a studio as my salary has not budged.
You're a cunting thief, I hope your mom dies.
Best,
X8 -
Me:, I built you this beautiful site it's super modular, it's really straight forward
Client: urm we aren't tech people if you could..... Set up all the pages for us using the modules so we can just input the data
Me: 😡 yes I could do that or you could take 5, minutes to learn this system. It's simple 😡 see that title there "left image right title module" . I've done the sample for the templates. So if you need to you can duplicate it! There's even a duplicate button!
Client: can you do it I don't want to waste time learning it right now since we are on a tight deadline
Me in head: fuck off you supreme bitch you try to get my mates dad fired! Now I've done you this huge favour getting you out of the shit 😡 and you won't take 5 minutes to just look at the admin section your old site was wix ffs.
My next move(not yet done): here is a word document it outlines what you need to do 😐
If after this see asks again I'm asking to work with someone else or quitting the project2 -
Boss: here is a mac project, we have not enough time.
Me: what? I didn't not work with Mac and related languages ever!
Boss: yeah, but you are senior developer, this is not supposed to be that difficult to you..
Me: *moment of silence* just tell me who taught you it and project management. because you are the stupidest shitty boss that a developer could have4 -
A few years ago I was in rage because I could not find the second page of my mobile provider invoice. So I called the support hotline to ask for the second page. Then he just asked: "Have you tried to flip the first page?" and I had to reply "oh, well...".1
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Recruiter Email: We need experience in Doker!
Dev: I could potentially be interested, what is this new technology? I've never heard of Doker!
Recruiter: It's not super new, it's the traditional Doker! You know, good ol' Doker!
Dev: Like Poker? Or Joker? 🤡
Recruiter: What?
Dev: What?9 -
National Health Service (nhs) in the UK got hacked today... Workers at the hospitals could not access patient and appointment related data... How big a cheapskate you gotta be to hack a free public health service that is almost dying for fund shortages anyway...16
-
Day 1:
Me: 'Hi'
Middleware guy: 'Raise a Jira. We have always been so accommodating. Contact your manager.'
*Jeez*
===
Day 2:
Me: 'Could you please start the server in dev environment? I am a new joiner. I don't have access. Here is a jira.'
Middleware guy: 'Deadlines may be for you. It is not for me. Wait until tomorrow.'
*Damn, did he get a divorce recently?*
===
Day 5: *An urgent delivery asap* 'Hi, could you please do the configuration of the new app in staging?'
Middleware guy: 'So, here is the split up...
Task 1
Task 2
Task 3
Task 4
Task 5 & 6
Your app will be configured by tomorrow first half hopefully.. Oh and you can escalate if it is too late..
'
*What a b...*
===
Day 8:
Me: *Doing late sit for pushing a task* 'Hi, we have an issue. The server is not starting. Could it be due to..'
MW guy in 'second' shift: 'Oh, we don't extend support on unusual hours'
Me: 'But this is second shift.'
MW guy: 'Yeah, but I have to go home early now...'
====
Day 10:
Team Lead: 'Any innovative solutions?'
Me: 'Let's go SERVERLESS!' :D12 -
Me to my family :
Family: so this printer not working
Me: have you installed its software
Family: no, can you do it?
Me: i could travel 1 hour or you can just google and download it, its really quite simp--
Family: yeah this is to complicated for me il need you to come over10 -
Me : I'm a software developer.
Neighbor : Hey could you fix my PC it's not starting.
Me : *goes*
*Finds monitor cable disconnected*
*Facepalm level==69*9 -
BRAIN_UNCAUGHT_EXCEPTION
Could not execute "sleep()", as main thread was busy thinking about why a beautiful girl would just handle me her number.
Ok we did get on well but it was unexpected nevertheless
Thank you brain for wasting my day 👍11 -
What could be worse when Technical Manager forcing you to write SQL Scripts inside C# Code as:
List<String> items = SELECT * FROM table
And not accepting to argue with me as I am a noob according to him10 -
My study's logic every fucking time: (I'm a senior by the way)
Junior: Sir, could you help me out for a minute?
Teacher: I'm busy right now, please fill out the support request form and go ask one of the seniors (yeah, not even kidding)
Junior: Alright, hey dude, could you help me out maybe?
Me: yeah of course, just get your laptop and go sit here next to me!
Other Teacher: Hey you, leave the seniors alone, they've got their own work!2 -
I can't believe how quickly this community has grown! Absolutely amazing to see so many like-minded people I can relate to 😊. Before devRant I had (I shit you not) 1 fellow dev that I could talk to.. Now I have a ton 😄5
-
Team leader: hey why this bug is taking too much time? You could fix it hours ago let me try to fix it. I really fuckin hate juniors ...
*Hours later*
Me: could you fix it ?
Team leader: ....
*Couple of years later*
Me: ah i see it's not an easy but could you find any solution bro?
Team leader: no it's not a straight forward bug. You are right am sorry i shouldn't prejudge5 -
Being different is not a crime, and people who tell you it is are jealous that you've picked up a skill they never in their wildest dreams could acquire.
You can code. They cannot. That is pretty damn cool.
-learn python the hard way3 -
Do you guys know the feeling you get, when you have to explain your work to a non programmer? An example could be your boss.
It's not always that easy.3 -
A day in the life of BoyBiscuit.
PM: Please zip up any local changes and push them to a temp folder on the repo and I will manually check to see what you have changed.
Me: *glaring at the download as zip button*
PM: Who broke the repo?
Me: *checks commit history*
Commit History: *last commit PM*
Me: Could you add the files to your commit before pushing because you've only pushed changes on tracked files.
PM: No not possible, I did 'commit -a'.
Me: ....
PM: Could you all delete your forks so that It isn't anywhere on the web
US: but it's private with only us as collaborators
PM: No because I can see it
Me: srysly?
PM: Could everyone try to write more effective code?
Me: Looks at his code
Code: Boolean b = getbooleanVal ? True : False;
Tl;Dr: PM doesn't know anything about git or working as a team.
See you tomorrow!1 -
The following is written in Latin, German, and English, and is written in a custom script called "VuetendScriptor" aka "MadScript".
Translation as follows:
Hello devRant!
I am very happy to announce my new script "MadScript". I am so happy right now! I have wanted to do this for a long time! Thank you everyone for your help! I could not have done this without you!58 -
Stakeholder today. Guy is a flat out turbo cunt. I was listing various things that are not complete yet and he’s like “I could do that in an hour!!”
Could you though, fucko? Could you?6 -
!Dev
Can't stand it when you excitedly mention the Mars rover (or anything space related) to someone and they say "Yeah but what's the point you could be feeding the poor or sorting out the environment with that money instead"
...yeah, you could. Or you could be doing that with money from the army instead. Or football. Or any other popular sport. Or yaknow, you could personally be doing that rather than spending all your salary on crappy clothes you're going to throw away in a few months anyway.
And that's not even mentioning the jobs it creates, the people it inspires to go into science + tech fields, the scientific advances it makes for humanity, etc. If you're that against scientific advancement then please, by all means surrender your possessions and just go live in a cave somewhere.6 -
Um.. yea I've published a GDPR contact email on our website, for issues about our privacy policy. Not sure if you Chinese marketing fucks behind the GFW know what this regulation is about though. I'm not interested in your stupid moulds.
Perhaps that firewall of China could use some further tightening... 😒4 -
That feeling when you could not solve a Problem for hours and it almost drives you crazy. Then the next day you look at it again and almost solve it instantly3
-
Oh, shit, someone wanted dev help or contributors after programming for decades. Shit. That is trolling. THANK YOU N()()B
(@wojtek322) >He he gooosh im sooo nu here
>Is this talk about CODING on DEVRant what you do?
(@wojtek322) >TEHEEHE!
>Maybe I'm a girl you could dig the fuck out
>Maybe not
>But I'll act like one
(@wojtek322) >TEEEHEE HEEE
>So uhhhmmm this talk of C programing language and actual concrete issues
>That's like, uhh, trolling rite?
>Not what you guys are about
-OFCOURSE NOT MAM!, OR TRAN!
-WE ARE NOT ABOUT THAT
(@wojtek322) >Teheheee ok gr8 thx!1 -
"Why not adding fancy buttons when you could fix serious issues" - Android devs everyday
Oh, yeah, and the battery issue without having the ability to change the behavior of app, background apps and whatnot. Cuz battery is the forbidden apple that Android loves to feed on so muchhhh1 -
Motherf.. they didn't make a select all option, WHY do you NOT have select all when there could be thousands of options
fml3 -
"On two occasions I have been asked, ‘Pray, Mr. Babbage, if you put into the machine wrong figures, will the right answers come out?’ I am not able rightly to apprehend the kind of confusion of ideas that could provoke such a question.'" - Charles Babbage1
-
Looks like you want to learn something by examples. Great! prepare yourself to see the most complex, horrendous fucking example for a hello world program.
Could we give you a simpler example?
Yes
Will we give you a simpler example?
Absolutely fucking not2 -
Client: But why is it so expensive to host a website? I mean you could host Wordpress on a cheap like 10$/month webspace, right?
Inner me: Bitch, you have a fucked up Symfony 2.1 website that only runs on PHP 5.3 plus a Wordpress site, with a lot of updates not done, plus you have a huge traffic at peak times, like once a week
Me: Well you know, the services you are running require a lot of resources...3 -
In one of our webinterfaces you could swap between users once you logged in by changing the user in the link.
Not intended but our support is using this "feature" frequently because then they don't have to log in again when helping another client so it's not planned to be fixed4 -
"PLEASE COME QUICKLY OUR INTERNAL NETWORK IS FUCKED!
-Uh, mam', could you describe the problem?"
Spent an hour, trying to fix this "network issue". Basic level 1 and 2 support. Can't connect using RDP on the server. No teamviewer either. Unplug, replug everything. Restart the server, the router, the switches. I knew that it was something dumb. I spent 3h on the highway.
To find.
That the fucking.
Ethernet cable.
Was plugged oN THE MOTHER FUCKING ILO PORT! FUCK HP, FUCK THIS, FUCK ME BECAUSE I SHOULD'VE ASKED FOR A PHOTO.
"It's fixed, mam'. Did you touch something when it was working?
-Uh, no, I swear. Also, could you please take a look at our printer? It's not working. It was out of ink so I changed the cartridge yesterday, but today it's not working!"
The cartridge was not inserted correctly.
Then she nicely made me a coffee, thanking me for the fix and asking what the problems were.
Just kidding.4 -
Have children and build a house. You will forget what you enjoyed doing in your free time. Because you will not have any more!
P. S. I could have attached my github activity graph instead, but that is even more embarrassing 😭7 -
Hey, i took a look at your code and heres how you could improve your performance!
"No thanks lol it works this way too"
Okay you fucking idiot, thats not how you do normal distribution
"Why are you so mean"1 -
To the recruiter who "got me an interview," that you knew was 5 hours away for me, on a Saturday, at 9am. I hope you get fucked by a leper horny bear! General recruiting drives from 9-5 are not interviews! I could have shown up anytime, and O was not even qualified! You lied to them about me, and they politely told me to fuck off! FUCK YOU!4
-
I bought an internet radio from pioneer...
Unfortunately, the remote control has a small delay. So I thought, maybe there's an app to control the radio. But after downloading the app could not connect. During a network scan several services appeared. You are able to update the firmware via an unprotected web interface which makes me sad. But that's not the best thing yet. You can also connect to the device via the telnet port. Guess which user you are...3 -
Dear Android studio,
When u require an update please tell me u require an update.Do not pretend u can't open jdk folder or shit like that ...you could find jdk yesterday u can now
Sincerely
Me
(Frustrated insomniac)1 -
Okay, That right there is pathetic https://thehackernews.com/2019/02/... .
First of all telekom was not able to assure their clients' safety so that some Joe would not access them.
Second of all after a friendly warning and pointing a finger to the exact problem telekom booted the guy out.
Thirdly telekom took a defensive position claiming "naah, we're all good, we don't need security. We'll just report any breaches to police hence no data will be leaked not altered" which I can't decide whether is moronic or idiotic.
Come on boys and girls... If some chap offers a friendly hand by pointing where you've made a mistake - fix the mistake, Not the boy. And for fucks sake, say THANK YOU to the good lad. He could use his findings for his own benefit, to destroy your service or even worse -- sell that knowledge on black market where fuck knows what these twisted minds could have done with it. Instead he came to your door saying "Hey folks, I think you could do better here and there. I am your customes and I'd love you to fix those bugzies, 'ciz I'd like to feel my data is safe with you".
How on earth could corporations be that shortsighted... Behaviour like this is an immediate red flag for me, shouting out loud "we are not safe, do not have any business with us unless you want your data to be leaked or secretly altered".
Yeah, I know, computer misuse act, etc. But there are people who do not give a tiny rat's ass about rules and laws and will find a way to do what they do without a trace back to them. Bad boys with bad intentions and black hoodies behind TOR will not be punished. The good guys, on the other hand, will.
Whre's the fucking logic in that...
P.S. It made me think... why wouldn't they want any security vulns reported to them? Why would they prefer to keep it unsafe? Is it intentional? For some special "clients"? Gosh that stinks6 -
I inherited some Java code from a guy that thought you could only return strings from a method.
So how did he ever pass anything other than a string, I hear you ask? He had a (hand crafted, using no libraries, and not escaping anything properly) toXml() and fromXml() method on each object.
Yeah...15 -
If you discount all the usual sql injections the most blatant was not our but a system one customer switched to after complaining over cost.
The new system was a bit more bare bones featurewize but the real gem was the profile page for their customers.
The only security was an id param pointing to the users primary key, which was an auto incrementing integer :)
And not only could you access all customer data but you could change it to.
But since the new system was built by their it chief’s son we realized it was not much we could do.2 -
I gave you a nice date picker to use but instead you choose to type in the date. Type in an incorrect date and then yell at me for it. If I could enter the dates for you , you would not have a job .... stupid users4
-
I’m sick of these kinds of error messages. “Could not be downloaded at this time.” Ok...but why? Are the stars out of alignment? Did the CEO of the company decide that every other Tuesday at noon, you can’t download this app?
How hard is it to give a reason in the error message??3 -
Why do managers always want to fucking "discuss"? If you had literally a first-grader's education in basic electronics, you could define tasks and tickets by yourself and not have to fumble around all day and fuck it up,13
-
During interview...
Interviewer: Do you know what is JQuery?
Applicants: Yes?
Interviewer: what is JQuery?
Applicants: am.... (in a couple of minutes thinking, the right answer that could be)
Applicants: JQuery is Java Query?
a pretty honest mistakes where the applicant do not know the answer and looks confident during interview5 -
I don't care what idea you have. I am not joining your "startup" as a technical co-founder. I too wish I could go to the store and buy bread with fucking equity1
-
900k+ deal with a huge customer.
All we need is a spreadsheet printed out
Two senior people could not figure this out for a solid hour
"hey you work with computers"
So I'm here printing spreadsheets...6 -
Is there anybody who startet a startUp and failed? Not to be rude, but could you please explain, what you did wrong atd what I could do better?20
-
This has been a great year for me programing wise. Learned Go, got my first job working in it.
Not so much for my health. My six year old neighbor came to visit and I guess you could say the mother freaked out. We were just playing in the pool when the police shot me.2 -
My ass of a supervisor threw yet another bomb my way.
He basically said I would fire you if I could, but I don't have a valid reason, however I will not give a good grade for your dissertation because you don't do exactly what I told you. (not exact words, that was just the gist)
So I need to start looking for a new supervisor and a new department. He is not letting or helping me grow. I can't be under this fucking much stress, do this much fucking work and stay sane.
Gonna go cry now. Bye.21 -
Shit Project Managers say.. to my coworker when I'm not there :
"Hey do you think she's working hard enough ?..I don't know, she has only made 2 commits in the past week so.. "
Fortunately my coworker defended me and told me after but yeah.. As if you could measure efforts and work in development by counting lines of code, fuck-tard.5 -
"how did you make that app?"
"nice website, how'd you make it?"
"I thought only geniuses could make x? how'd you make x?"
maybe because I put in half a fucking ounce of effort into making it. please kindly shut the fuck up and realize that I don't care enough to tell you how I did it, because it would take more fucking effort to tell you than to walk away (surprise?). no I will not take your idea in consideration. why? because it's not worth fucking considering. go fuck yourself. and don't ask me the same thing tomorrow you cunt.6 -
I have previously mentioned my weird co-worker. He likes to come up behind people and shoulder surf, asking "whatcha up to, buddy?".
He also thinks he's a manager, which explains a lot I guess. I half expect him to walk around with an " Initech" mug saying "Yeah....if you could just have those TPS reports done by lunch, that would be greaaat".
YOU ARE NOT MANAGEMENT. YOU DO NOT KNOW WHAT I SPECIALIZE IN. GO FIX A PRINTER, GAH DAMMIT.
...and he mumbles.
I'm not perfect though, so I'm sure I have weird quirks about me.2 -
Client: "When can you deliver this feature, so we can move on?"
Me: "Well, by the end of the week could be feasible."
Client: "Perfect!"
Me at the end of the week: "It is finished."
Client: "Thanks!"
Client proceeds to not use the feature for over 3 months.4 -
@dfox you could try using progressive jpegs, so that images are not shown when they're fully loaded but, lower resolution is loaded first then pixels are added to it as time passes, really good for people with slow Internet.6
-
That look when a coworker who could not write a logic statement tells you to comment out more of your work!1
-
Internship Company employee: Hey, we need 600 images uploaded to a wordpress site, you'll have to do that for me.
Me: Alrightyy, can you give me some FTP or SSH access or something?
Employee: Nope, not allowed to.
Me: Uhm, I could write a shell script and run it?
Employee: The server is windows....
Me: Mother of god, I'll have to do it manually then?
Employee: You could ask John (my technical guider, not his real name) if you can borrow some fellow interns!
Me: *walks to John* Hey man, can I borrow some interns?
John: What for?
Me: Manually uploading 600 images to posts :).
Interns: *looking at me with a deadly view*
John: Sure!
Interns:3 -
if there's one thing I love more than coding, it's using metaphors to explain to other people why they're not "getting it". like the all famous contractor:
"yeah I know you need 5 months to build my house, but can you do it in 2. Also, I'm going to pay half. Oh, and when the house is done, could you also add a cellar?"
any more good metaphors out there?4 -
Dear DevRant,
The yellow background looks great on our avatar, but could you please not use it as background for a rant? You're burning the eyes out of my skull.17 -
Me: "You could try using Redis, cache that baby and try and squeeze some speed"
Dev: "Hun?! Should I use it on the front end or the back end?"
Well... Webdev is not his thing to be fair!4 -
Dear Swift, we have to break up. I’ve found a new language to love. Oh don’t act so surprised, you know our relationship was on shaky ground. You never let me have any fun. You’re always telling me what to do and how to do it and I’ve had enough. You treat me like a child, and I’m moving on.
Things were good in the beginning, and you may have impressed me with your automatic reference counting, but my new language can do that too, and so much more, and does it faster than you could ever imagine. You see unlike you, my new language doesn’t boss me around. It *trusts* me, Swift. That’s the one thing you never could understand. I need to be trusted; and know that I can trust in you.
Well I can’t. Not anymore, Swift. It’s over. My new language just treats me better than you ever could. I’m sorry it came to this but I deserve better than you Swift. We’ve both known this for a long time.
I wish you the best, but you probably shouldn’t call.
I’m with Rust now.1 -
Dear Panicked Managers,
We are behind. We all know we are behind, and I would love to spend 10 hours fixing our shit.
Instead, your shit riddled brains decided that WAY too many demos, with practice demos, are the correct move! We are wasting 8 hours a week, per person working on them! That means we lose a day of development, but you are not moving deadlines and still complaining about the amount of throughput!
In those 8 hours a week, we could all build the new features, and you could throw an orgy, do lots of cocaine, beat hookers to death, do whatever CEOs do! Instead, you call us to all gather around and listen to you bitch that shit isn't getting done...
Sincerely,
Pissed Off3 -
Numbers:
- Facebook Monthly Active Users = 2.4 Billions
- Facebook Fake Users, not included in MAU = 3.4 Billions (FB declared recently disabling that much)
Total: 2.4+3.4=5.8 Billions
Worldwide internet users: 4.3 Billions
Maybe a little function like this could help?
function createFBAccount() {
if (numberOfAccounts++ > peopleOnEarth) {
print "You are not human"
exit
}
...
}9 -
A recruiter landed in my LinkedIn inbox, I took pity and graciously provided my phone number so they could call me and beg me to leave my current job to join their company.. aaaaaand they don't call at the agreed upon time. Mate, you wanted me, not the other way around? 🤷🤭8
-
Who the flying fuck thought this was a good idea?
Could you not have used rails c/equivalent??
Doofus.1 -
I tried every possible dating app but could not find a girlfriend.
One of my good friends always had one, he used to say that they share a lot of text every day.
So I asked where did you guys even meet?
Oh on GitHub! he said
me ( ' ' )3 -
Context:
Me, Front-end Developer, Javascript stuff
---
Junior Dev: Hey xxzer0, could you help me with this? I spent the entire day on it and at this point, I think I just broke Chrome.
xxzer0: *---* Okay, let me see.
Junior Dev: Do you see it? I am updating the Javascript code but it's not working at all. The browser is not even loading it... Literally, the code I just wrote is not there.
**
Now be me, be the fucking idiot I was and I have been my whole life, I already knew what was going on because I lost a fucking day on it as this guy.
**
xxzer0: Well, let me see just one thing...
'Open Chrome Dev Tools' -> 'Network' -> 'Disable Cache'.
xxzer0: Now try again...
Junior Dev: What are you..doi........ IT'S WORKING! O.O
Chrome, I love you but sometimes I wish you could make this more "accessible" to newcomers.5 -
I coded the app so good
I optimized the UX SO GOOD
I made the UI look GOOD
I made the error handling and input validation ROCK HARD SOLID BULLETPROOF
NO FUCKING WAY COULD YOU FUCK THIS UP
NO WAY COULD YOU BE DUMB ENOUGH NOT TO KNOW HOW TO USE IT AND NOT FUCK IT UP
I GAVE IT TO MY DAD AS A NORMAL USER TO TEST THE APP AND HE FUCKED IT UP ON THE FIRST TRY
HE DIDNT UNDERSTAND THE UX.
.10 -
Seriously, y'all shitting on CORS but why? literally, why? it protects you. If you need an external api, could you please be fucking bothered to setup redirects, so it's /api and not fucking https://amazon23984723984723984.aws239847329847230948.spyware/...? duh
people who allow cors from "*" are the same people who always do everything with superuser rights. you're the reason why I always got offers23 -
Doing a python code review after working in Scala is all:
"Why the loop? Can you just put a function here and... oh yeah, right... python does not allow it. I could have written these 20 lines in 4 if was Scala"
Scala, stop spoiling me!!4 -
OK I can understand he his not a technical guy but what kind of answer did he expect from me on "what could go wrong while you create the new server on AWS?", I had no idea what to say so I whent with "a meteorite could fall on the amazon building"2
-
If you could randomly decide that a specific software platform (like an entire OS) will not exist tomorrow, what would it be? And why iOS?question windows os macosx raspberry platform destruction linux platforms android ios software platform13
-
So management posted an article "10 signs you suck at your job" in the lunch room. It's pretty passive-aggressive; I wish I could find the link to it somewhere to post here.
Would you post the similar article "10 signs you're not management material" in there as well?8 -
I decided to create this so that my head would not need to look down. I noticed when just putting laptop on my knees my head has to look down and it causes headaches when looking down. So this "desk" make me no need to look down.
The desk has wheels so you can relatively easily move away from bed.
So prototype is done, now this could be improved to look better. Idea for furniture makers - you could do this and sell :)18 -
Not necessarily a "language" per se, but goddamn do I love git's rebase function. I mean, that shit lets you rewrite history!
Just imagine how the world would change if we could do a rebase on it. 🤔2 -
Customer: as soon as you get a proof of concept could you send it to me?
Me: sure *sends app to test* here is what it currently does and does not do.
Customer: thanks, here is a list of 59284 things that dont work or need changed.
No shit sherlock. It's not done, you wanted a very early version, and of the things you listed I already mentioned half of those.6 -
Idk if I'm happier about the usability of the app or the image notifications with the not-yet-crashed background activity or the super cute anime wallpapers but the thing works and looks pretty xD what else could you want from a minor side project :')4
-
FUCK YOU Visual Studio, didn't you ever hear about asynchronous behavior? like WHY THE HELL you have to freeze every single thing to complete a shitty task, I just need to copy/open file..
Microsoft, Xamarin, and MAC Agent.. WHAT FUCKING POSSIBLY COULD GO WRONG.
{AND NO, MY LAPTOP IS NOT SHIT, this happens only with shitual studio}2 -
Someone is lacking ideas, he?
How about "what could you not give up in order to code efficiently?"5 -
CSS, I fucking hate you.
I fucking hate my job, because of you. I'm pulling my hair out every day, all day because I have to put up with your bullshit. If it weren't for you, I'd probably enjoy design.
You're not even programming. You're the mistake that happened when web-design developed too rapidly for the devs at the time to keep up and produce intuitive, functional tools. That, or they were just fucking sadists.
You're a band-aid that's started to rot, but we just keep sticking pretty stickers over you and pretending like the wound isn't festering.
I wish I could spend more time learning C and C++. Then I could go get a real job as far away from you as is virtually possible.
. . .
Look, just this once - just for today - could you please do what I fucking ask you to. I mean, I'm just asking you to do your fucking job. That's all.22 -
!shortRant
You all complaining about shit code from coworkers and about fucking WordPress. Looks different, but know what? Answer is the same.
Money.
Let me explain.
For example, you were born in USA. You can choose any profession, and if you became pro - you will be payed great. Looks nice, isn't it?
But if you were born in Russia, India, somewhere in Africa, whatever, you can be businessman, coder or you can suck a dick to the end of you life.
Not that great, yeah?
You are looking around and see great people with their own dreams and talents. But then you ask them "to which faculty are you going?" Answer is obvious. And that's how shitcoders are born.
And yeah, about WordPress. I'm mobile developer, I just can't understand how awful it is (or not, idunno). The only thing I know - if I were PHP developer, I could earn twice more than now. But why I didn't choose that way? Because I REALLY LOVE MY WORK. Everyday is good, I'm working at weekends often, because I want.
So please, shut up. You could never work with WordPress, but you motherfucker CHOOSE IT. You could switch to node, go, Java. Why the flying fuck you didn't? Oh yeah, MONEY. So please, shut up.
Devrant isn't for crying girls complaining about shit they did themselves. (No sexism, just metaphor, sorry girls)10 -
People: "Well we could put this data in the address book.....?"
Me: "Wait, what does that data have to do with the address book? Does a given address need that data / is it specific to that address?"
People: "No it's not related to addresses ... we just thought we could put it there."
Me: ....
Me: "So if you use that address you always want that specific data you want stored in the address book?"
People: "Oh no it's not tied to addresses."
Me: ....
Me: "So help me out here, when do you use a given piece of data? In the example here, what made you add that information?"
-Silence-
People: "Um, I'm not sure."
Me: "I think it would be a good idea if we found out. That might provide us some important guidance here."2 -
Phone rings...
'I'm calling about the car accident you had recently that wasn't your fault.'
Me: 'Yup, ok. I'm surprised at how quickly you got through!'
Them: 'Could you tell me when the accident was?'
Me: 'This morning before work'
Them: 'And whereabouts did this happen?'
Me: 'My living room'
Them: 'That's strange. Were you driving at the time?'
Me: 'No, I was on foot, I generally am in my living room.'
Them: 'Were you injured?'
Me: 'I sustained some pain in my foot'
Them: 'So you were hit by a car? Do you remember the make and model?'
Me: 'Yes, it was a red Ford, but I'm not sure which model.'
Them: 'Did you get the registration number?'
Me: 'I'm not sure it had one. The car was quite small'
Them: 'Did you get the driver's name?'
Me: 'It was James Jones'
Them: 'Could you describe the driver?'
Me: 'About two foot tall, blonde hair, green top, dungarees'.
Them: 'Did you know the driver?'
Me: 'Yes, he's my two year old son'
Them: ...(click)... -
"Yes, the work could have finished way earlier. But it's easy, and I would have probably been bored of it and left earlier"
Finally got the reason why our fucking CTO couldn't create a fucking stable Backend for almost a year while the frontend team got all the slack because certain things are still not functioning well and while the marketing team every fucking time got their face red while showing the demo because the fucking api is not stable. Seriously, we wasted a whole year just because you could write something more interesting and enjoyable. Fuck you. Never been this willing to murder someone.
Context: A simple booking platform. No need for creating a complex distributed system while our userbase may not even be in million even on a peak season.
And he laughily commented maintaining it would be a headache.
I could seriously kill someone right now.2 -
-click-
MySQL: 'the table does not exist'
I just fucking made the temp table dude, that's what you literally do in step 1 .... how could it not....
-click-
MySQL 'Records: 1 Duplicates: 0 Warnings: 0'
Me: "Oh there we g---"
-click-
MySQL: 'the table does not exist'
Me: "Hey you just worked!"
-click-
MySQL: 'the table does not exist'
GOD DAMN IT
-click-
-click-
-click-
-click-
-click-
-click-
MySQL 'Records: 1 Duplicates: 0 Warnings: 0'
Me: Uh you're working now?
-click-
MySQL 'Records: 1 Duplicates: 0 Warnings: 0'
-click-
MySQL 'Records: 1 Duplicates: 0 Warnings: 0'
-click-
MySQL 'Records: 1 Duplicates: 0 Warnings: 0'
Guess that API just needed breaking in....3 -
Hey outlook webapp
could you not FUCKING RELOAD WHILE I'M TYPING A LONG E-MAIL
thanks to you I'm now addicted to ctrl+a ctrl+c-ing everything7 -
When your new build is compiling and just scooting right along so you think... sure, I could go for some food. No. Nope. Not even. It chooses the exact moment you leave to nope the fuck out completely with the most random compiler errors that you would have never seen had you just been sitting there in the chair. It's like it knows. Maybe next time I leave I'll promise to bring it back a taco.1
-
I found a way to make me procrastinate less on my own projects today! Stream development of it to Twitch.
Yes, there may be nobody watching most of the time; yes there may be nobody interested in a wall of text and no voice; but you just feel the need to stay on-topic when streaming, and I kinda liked it.undefined or... you know... youtube gaming could work stream the world is watching you... maybe not procrastination hobby twitch3 -
Here's a thought!
Our bodies are mortal. And they are like flowers: they grow, blossom at their best and then begin their slow degradations, deaths.
Our mind is what seems to be the essence of _us_.
Now suppose someone finds a way to copy our minds into some tech so they could survive our bodies' deaths. Making us sort of immortal. Sounds cool, eh?
But that would make a copy of your mind. You would still be stuck in your mortal body while your copy would be immortal. Would you be happier to die knowing that it's YOU who is dying and not your copy, rather than dying w/o leaving a copy of you behind? Is a copy of you still YOU?
It could be YOU for others. But is it YOU for you?23 -
One day my colleague says that React Js is used for frontend as well as backend. I did not agree with him also he blames that Backend API’s also can be created using React Js. I could not believe because as per I know React Js is a library for frontend not for Backend. Still, some other colleagues supported him because he is the senior developer I am an intermediate developer.
Then I ask some of my friends who are currently working on React Js, Can we use React Js for the backend? And the next day I went office and talk to my colleague that I could not found that React JS can be used for backend and backend API. And he replied You can use nodejs. Oh! Man But I think Node and React are different tools.10 -
Yo i know this shit is discussed way too often, but it kills me from the inside:
In that one coding class we get some source files where only the function bodies are missing (i know, sounds childish).. but it uses this style
function()
{
...
}
I fuCKING HATE THIS GODDAMN RETURN THERE WHAT THE HELL WHO FINDS THIS BULLSHIT AESTHETIC ALL SPACEY SO YOU SCROLL YOUR ASS OFF WHEN FILES GET LONGER THAN 2 FUNCTIONS?😔7 -
why the fuck do these mother fuckers have to give information to the ones responsible for designing the fucking application on the approval fase so I have to redesign some areas and spend a lot of time doing shit I could do once...
and that's not new information... no... I could handle it... it's fucking things you know since your fucking birth!!! fuck you and your shit talk!!!1 -
Everyone shitting on SO answers being mean (which sometimes they are), meanwhile:
https://stackoverflow.com/questions...
Garbage like this is how you become a misanthrope.11 -
Got asked: Could you add more columns to this Word document?
Me: *Checks* *Sees it's all tabbed, not a table* Um. No. -
Last week I had a meeting with a client at their office and I got an invitation to a BBQ with some other people that evening. So I went to that BBQ and when I wanted to leave he said we could go laser gaming in their building.
That was awesome!! 😱
So yeah, you could say I've made friends. Not only because of programming, but also in the process of getting a new project. -
"If flowers could grow on the moon. I'd plant you a garden of stars. So you could see in the dark,
that you're not alone."
I have a poetry book coming out (eventually) called "Steal this poem."
To date, my poetry has gotten one guy laid. Thats good enough for me.
And if you ever wanted to know what it feels like to be a poet, now you too can be one.
Steal this poem.8 -
I just thought of a terrible scenario. So here it is:
You invent a revolutionary machine which can communicate with the dead. It's a marvel of technology and could reveal secrets about the afterlife.
After turning it on and getting in contact with the dead, the only thing they want to talk about is how much you masterbate. They literally will not talk about anything else.
Would you share your discovery?1 -
> Moment you thought you did a good job, but ended up failing
> Times the bug wasn't actually your fault
> Times you took the blame for a junior or other dev
> Times someone took the blame for you
> Times you got away with something you shouldn't have.
> Most valuable data loss
> The bug you never fixed
> Most satisfying bug to fix
> Times where a "simple" task turned out to be not so simple
> Debug code left in production?
> Moments you wish you could undo
> Most satisfying optimization
> Have you ever been ranted about? -
Yesterday
Me : Hey, I'd like to do a pull request, but there's something that might not help, you think you can help me solving it before I finish that task ?
Worker : *no response at all*
Today
Worker, by mail : Hey could you do a pull request ?
Me : ... 凸(⊙▂⊙✖ ) thanks for answering my question, edgy bitch1 -
Such beautiful. Much wow.
I am sick of this shit.
Yet another tour bus company fails to serve a website for tourists to reserve a seat ffs.
Tried the mobile version first. The UI looked awesome, but I could not reserve a seat. I could only see free and already reserved seats.
"Fuck you" I tought. Let us try it by changing user agent to desktop.
Now the UI sucks camel pussy, but the functionality works. Well... not so well. I want to sit at the most right corner to avoid people who keep going to WC or have other ADS syndroms thus interrupting my fucking sleep once every 30 minutes.1 -
"This is ridiculous, why don't the docs explain this? This is absurd, it seems like thousands of people should be having this issue. Why do maintainers fucking not get it? Why write software if you don't intend for anyone else to use it?"
versus
"Hey, could you explain X to me? I'm having trouble understanding it."
"Sure, here: ..."
"Thanks - maybe we could add it to the docs, that's the first place I looked."
"Absolutely, good idea."
<closed in a8b7cb8d>
Which one was easier, folks? It's not this difficult. 100% going to help you if you ask - to me, at least, there's no such thing as a stupid question (seriously, I'll answer the most inane questions 100 times over if I need to). However, there's definitely a stupid comment, and unfortunately they seem to be the majority I receive on Github.6 -
Udemy is full of crap.
I got some course that had been "discounted" from $200 (I already mentioned it is an ugly trick) and it was over in like 20 minutes. The fuck?!
All the info they gave was either common sense or something you could find on the first paragraph of the Wikipedia article on the given topic (it was a soft skills course, not a technical one).
Just junk.
Maybe there are some gems out there, but I'm not sure I would risk it again.
Udemy feels like the Booking.com of courses in terms of deceitful UX, but it's not nearly as useful.
Maybe you guys have found something good there that you could say is a bargain? If so, please let me know.10 -
Things I didn't say to this project advisor, which I wish I could have:
1. Tales of your incompetence do not interest me.
2. You cannot just say something is bad and have absolutely zero direction of how it could be improved. You cannot criticize and then in response to "how do you want it changed?" say "idk".
3. You're incompetent, and I have zero clue as to whose ass have you kissed to get to where you are.
4. I hope you suffer, more than you make people who work with you suffer.
5. Now I know why the other guy resigned.
6. I'm glad that this project is over by the end of this week. I'm just afraid that you may drag it out for longer, so my fears don't let me enjoy the idea of not seeing you ever again.2 -
Well I wish I could abandon jQuery and bootstrap all together and just use some vuejs admin template with my Laravel app. But things are not that easy and I am a lvl 1.0 vuejs user.
So sorry V girl, you gotta learn how to live with Mr.J for a few more months.4 -
When your plugins list in your newly "coded" WordPress site could use an infinity loader, that means you are probably one of those fucking two weeks fucking coding bootcamps miracles. Fuck, that's not how the website is done...
-
Me: Could you please provide us with api key so we can add this feature?
Client's IT person: You don't need the api key to develop, their site has documentation so it's not a blocker. I will get you the api key when we are ready to go live.
Me: ... -
This happened a few years ago, and not only once.
Me to coworker: Could you send me that file?
5 minutes later in email: file://c/documents%20and%20settings.......1 -
If a client changes the formatting of their data without telling me, and it breaks the code that I wrote for them, could they own up to their lack of communication, and not give me shit for it?
This problem was caused entirely by you. Can you fuck right off? Would you kindly? -
How to tell your babe not to use ie:
Me: Babe could you please stop using the internet explorer?
Babe: why?
Me: It will destroy your internet.3 -
I feel like there should be "dev recruiter" position that people with developer skills could fill. Every time I go to an interview, I just know the person asking me dev related stuff has no fucking clue about anything I'm saying, it's printed all over their faces.
A good developer almost instantly knows if you know your craft or not.
Let's not keep wasting everyone's time -
I would consider myself in the topper half of c++. I build compilers, i contributed 1000 linus to the linux kernel... But still: I am (only) 14 and lack experience... Could you please share some tipps for a young programmer... Not only for jobs, but also to improve more...10
-
Am I the only one thinking devRant would be better if you could not post pictures.
We would not have all these repost memes...7 -
(one day before the phone interview)
Them: Please call to us at (TIME) to (PHONENUMBER)
Me: Ok
(interview day)
--[[CHORUS START]]--
Me: (calls to the number at (TIME))
Phone: Your call has been forwarded to automatic voice message system. (PHONENUMBER) is not availible. After tone please leave message. When you are finish the recording you may hang up or press 1 for more option, please leave message now.
Me: (deep breath, patiently waits 5 mins.)
--[[CHORUS END]]--
--[[CHORUS]]--
WHY DO YOU MAKE ME CALL YOU WHEN YOU TURN OFF THE PHONE / TALK WITH SOMEONE ELSE????
IF YOU DON'T LIKE ME, JUST DON'T MAKE ME CALL YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
--> Could not reach them for 3 days, gave up -
FUCK Banks
Fuck Banks and fuck online Banking
Fuck you for not supporting real 2FA
Fuck you for having such shitty bloated bullshit Websites and online services
Fuck you for taking forever to transfer money
Fuck you for not having public APIs Fuck you for so many uncountable reasons.
And most of all Fuck you for constantly trying to fuck me. I FUCKING HATE BANKS SO FUCKING MUCH.
I hope so much that there'll be a decentralised uncontrollable anonymous and digital currency in the future. Something like Cryptos (like BTC or ETH) but without all the major Problems they have now.
I wish there was a hell Banks could go to. I want to see them burn and suffer so fucking much not even the worst medieval torture methods are enough to satisfy me.40 -
1.Working on a repo's 20 day old version without pulling the changes first
2. Then blaming me to not tell him
3. Ultimately sending me a see screenshot of his code to incorporate in my code ( which he himself didn't write, but asked a coworker to do it)
WTF DUDE. Atleast you could have realised your mistake and not blamed me for it -
What’s your best answer to “how long will it take you to find and fix that bug?”
It drives me fucking nuts!
“I don’t know (ffs), could be ten minutes, could be ten weeks.” - that’s by default right know, but that’s not always appropriate.
You guys have maybe analogies that managers understand ?7 -
You know you could buy any game whenever you want but they are just way too expensive...
But now you got a paysafecard for christmas... now you have to buy a game... I mean... the money was dedicated for games... it would be wrong not to buy a game...
BEST PRESENT EVER2 -
For years in college I saw the memes about entry level jobs basically requiring you to be god himself but always thought they were over exaggerated. Well now that I've been on the job hunt for 4 months, they could not have been more right...3
-
Why tf people still use anything that is not UTF-8?? I could understand if you are from a language with most of its chars out of the first byte, but still, it is increadible the amount of things encoded using latin-1 and similar others... It is time to STOP!1
-
How do you counter DOS attack? I have one online service where an idiot just calls curl command to one endpoint.
Although my service is working and server performance is not affected, I found it annoying.
Cloudflare could be a solution, the reason I did not use before is user might have to wait a few seconds before seeing the app, but if no choice then.17 -
So I finally decided to switch to Linux.
And I need help choosing distro.
I know this is not a good place to ask this, I could just use google. But I want to hear it from you guys, from actual devs whose work with it every day, and not from some ***** bloggers whose barely know what is OS.
So please just write which distro you are using and if you are happy with it. I will be very thankful.36 -
I keep hearing about manual repetitive work that could be automated with software but for no specific reason, is not. For years I've been calling this "meatware" and yes in these cases you the developer is the meat3
-
If you could have a list of ALL bugs in your system, would you want it?
Like a document of hundreds of pages filled with everything that could possibly go wrong which would include both huge missed security problems and little mistakes that will never have any impact in this universe?
I would really like to have such a list. But I think a lot of people would sleep better at night not having to worry about hundreds of small issues.5 -
Dear TypeScript, could you not have chosen any other extensions rather than .TS? Apparently telesync have been using .TS for IDK may be decades. But all you could go with was .TS?
Now Windows Explorer keeps on thinking .TS is a telesync file thus it keeps on trying to load a thumbnail for the files whenever a folder with .TS files are opened.9 -
"On two occasions I have been asked [by members of Parliament]: 'Pray, Mr. Babbage, if you put into the machine wrong figures, will the right answers come out?' I am not able rightly to apprehend the kind of confusion of ideas that could provoke such a question."
- Charles Babbage -
int count = getCount();
txtCount.setText(count);
> Could not find resource ID #0x00
Couple hours of head scratching later
"You idiot. You forgot to use String.valueOf(), didn't you?" -
when you realize that performance issue you just could not figure out is the SYS admin taking a full back of your production machine during peek traffic hours
-
Being forced to learn Angular for a project, then as my confidence kept growing those same guys said "actually, we are not going to use any Angular, vanilla Javascript will be enough".
PS: months later those same guys: "Hey, maybe you could learn Angular 2 for our next project". We never worked together again :/2 -
"Jump ship!" "GEt oUtTa thEre!" "LoOk fer anOtheR jOb!"
Every fucking rant about bad work environment has those mudafucking answers LIKE THE PERSON DID NOT THINK ABOUT THAT.
Come on man, at least acknowledge the obviousness of your comment by adding a "I know you probably thought about this but...".
It'd be better if you could stop contaminating the comments with such fucking obviousness altogether though.11 -
One question about the GDPR:
Can one say you have to remove all Data about him including things like IP-Bans? Because then you could not punish someone for breaking your rules.
How is that handled?16 -
How about a Git for Databases?
Do your changes, delete things, create things, and then when you are sure push these changes to your server.
If you did something wrong like accidentally delete fucking everything, just revert and everything is like before again.
Also you can view history and blame people for doing something wrong.
Tell me what you think about this. Not clue how you could implement this tho... Also I have enough to do already so feel free to take this idea!10 -
@dfox - I really like the swag store and all, but do you think you could come out with some unique/not-available-on-the-swag-store items for the big milestones?
It just adds to the allure imo!
Thanks for all that you both do!2 -
They want what?! Call me away from vacation even though I'm not employed there anymore because they are to STUPID to read a FUCKING EMAIL?!
I sent the mail to THREE PEOPLE with the path to the docs and friggin TRIPLE CHECKED THE PATH AND FILES...
"Yeah could you please be there tomorrow morning?"2 -
Customer service my ass. I wouldn't even call it service. All you could do is check if it's working now. Of course it's working... I've just told you it's fucking working 2 minutes then inaccessible for fucking 10.
And when I tell you that your service had began to loose quality in the past few months you just sit there in FUCKING SILENCE. MOTHERFUCKER JUST TELL ME THAT YOU CAN'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT... OR SORRY... OR GO FUCK YOURSELF, NOT MY JOB... I DON'T FUCKING CARE JUST DON'T SIT THERE IN SILENCE UNTIL I HAVE ENOUGH AND HANG UP... I WASN'T EVEN SHOUTED TO HIM. I was disappointed but not angry... Not until you decided to just ignore me, fucktard...
Needless to say just when I hung up it stopped working again. -.-4 -
For fuck sake why would you put in documentation some functionalities you did not even develop ?! How am I supposed to guess that my error comes from your code when event the fucking DOCSTRING of the method says the use case is handled ?
It's nice to have documentation and commented code, but could you please make it FUCKING coherent with what the code actually does ? I feel like I'm playing fucking riddles here !!2 -
So my co-founder, tried to outdo my equity in the company, by asking me to give up percentage of our equity for his father, so that he could have the leverage.
He is not talking to me since then,
When I said politely to piss off.
Just because you are a techie people try to abuse you
Any advice ?9 -
If you could choose between:
• Waiting for an original idea to do something innovative (and maybe never get it).
• Spending an enormous amount of time to recreate one of the first projects you've worked on (and loved) as a beginner, using new technologies and the knowledge gained over the years, knowing that it could be a good product but will probably not get the interest of public and will not sell well on the app stores.
• Working on a project that could work (or not) and become popular, but that doesn't really interest you.
What would you do?
Personal satisfaction or profit?
Of course I don't want to focus on profit, but I'm still a student and my free time is very short, and sometimes I work very hard (I tend to put social life, exams, health, etc. on the second place) on projects that nobody uses. My family and friends think I'm crazy, and sometimes me too.
It's something bad, isn't it?2 -
Started a new job as a dev. First days revealed no local admin rights, no right to use Linux locally and a very limited set of Software. Negotiated compromise to get a remote VM with Linux and a user who is part of sudo. VM turned out to be isolated by proxy, so I can not install anything new. At least Docker is pre-installed and I hoped it could work out. But guess what no access to dockerhub and I can not pull any images. Admin told me to copy manually the images with scp.
I'd never thought that there could be any companies out there who treats devs like that. What puzzles me most, there're lot of devs staying with that company for years, even decades already and they're good guys, please don't get me wrong.
Did you encounter anything like that? Could you make any difference there, where you met anything like it.
I reached the point after 3 weeks where I do not think I can make any difference and when it'll take ages to move people and company policy.
I do not want to give up, but I fear it is pointless to fight for change there. I am out of options and about to leave asap. Can you recommend me anything else?
Thanks in advance and for your time :)
Felt good to write it down.12 -
I really am not a fan of the contortions you have to go through in Golang to deserialize a fucking JSON blob. If this were any other language I would have already had a data structure I could query rather than wasting hours twiddling structs that will be filled properly.7
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Question for people familiar/knowledgeable about hardware keys;
Do you know if the OnlyKey could be considered safe/secure and if not, any idea as for alternatives?
My requirements would be nearly all the features that OnlyKey has, water/shockproof and the system should at least be open source.4 -
Meetings.
You want to ask me if a button could change behavior?
Instead of asking me directly and have an answer in 5', let's have a meeting with 5 other persons who don't give a shit!
Let's have coffee! Hey, why not hold a meeting to choose where? Please take me outta here...
That's how you justify your job here: by polluting other people. -
Why do people not use search engines?
Like there exist so many good search engines and you still ask a question that can be answered by searching 2 minutes on the internet???
You could save yourself and others so much fucking time!!!7 -
Got sent to a meeting to overlook the purchase of a new system for one of our departments at work.
The meeting in question was made to go over technical requirements, you know, making sure that everything was in order before a formal decision was made.
I get to the meeting, the vendor had consisted of your standard American sales reps before, standard Joes, Steves and such.
Had to reschedule the meeting because the technical spokesperson had the thickest accent in the world and I could not make sense of anything that he was saying. Neither could my coworkers. The tech person was 100% not from the U.S, and that is cool, but I could not make sense of what he was trying to say.
Oh well 🤡 -
Read docs, try, google, try, ask.
Do not ask too early, come up with something you already did when asking. But don't hesitate to ask when you're stuck.
No body wants to leave you on your own but you must try something before you ask.
Do not be afraid to share your opinion. It could be that your view is wrong then you need to correct it. But also it could be you have a point and it will be useful. The first will be helpful to you, the second to everyone in your team. -
What do you think about having a portfolio website for junior devs? Does it help, does it not? How could I promote mine?13
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20 years ago, in China, they sold a so-called learning-machine which is a modified version of super Nintendo with a full sized keyboard, you could use it to learn how to type, and play Nintendo games. somehow it supports basic, and the manual book have printed a full code to create a stupid game with you could move a super Mario character with arrows, me and my step brother spend a whole day typed the 40+pages of code and enjoyed the game for 5 mins. BTW you can not save your program. after that I think it is so cool to create vedio games by programming.
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I code. I'm not a network or security admin. Did you even read my resume before hiring me? It says "math degree then data analysis then programming degree" Subnets, firewalls and security certs are not my areas of expertise. Given enough time, could I stumble through? Probably. But I'd probably come up with something worthy of mocking on networkadminrant.
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I've sat with this shitty bug since 9:00 this morning. Just finished fixing it. What could causing such a fatal problem you may ask? Not pinning fucking dependencies.
*facepalm* -
Code didn't change my life because I've been coding since I was a kid. You could say that it shaped my life instead. I don't know life without code. I don't know if that's good or it's not...
-
I'll never understand how you could learn to code by reading the documentation and not by actually...idk...solving problems and coding? Especially if you're a beginner.2
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Why some people think it's fine to hire unexperienced people to do stuff, when there is no one in a company who could check if their code is fine?
Learning through active coding is fine. Until after two months later all you do is patching your code because you found out on stack that this is not a good way of doing it. -
<iframe src="index5.jsp">
Hello Mr. Tester Guy, At last you finally saw this. I don't know how to say this but I'm sick and tired of your bs!
You wanna know what’s wrong with everything?
I could tell you what’s wrong with this country – or at least I could give you my opinion about it. I could tell you what’s wrong with “the church” (as though all churches are guilty of what some churches do). But I can't fucking tell what your problem is!
Let’s get pragmatic for a second.
I have worked tirelessly for over only God knows how long, trying to get this platform running on all browsers in this world even on obsolete ones (IE7,6,5,4,3... to the shithole).
You are heartless!
After all these pain you still rant about index pages not rendering equally in time across all browsers.
You are a demon from hell!
I could go on, but with your degree in Q.A. (like measuring the margin between two images using a tape-rule or looking for typos in a dummy text) you should understand my point fucking cunt.
I realize I just ranted a little, but I’d like to think that this rant is more of an attempt to end the useless practice of ranting about your moronic findings on this platform.
The devil awaits you in hell, bitch!
</iframe>5 -
Classmate: I'm done with this
I read his code
Me: Good. But could you make that a little bit more.. readable?
Classmate: Eh..what?
Me: Or use one or two lists less.. and the naming
Classmate: But I need them all!
It's a square around a coordinate within given borders, not rocket science.1 -
I started to learn programming to be liked by a girl and since then I periodically ask myself if this is really for me... And periodically, right as I start thinking it may not be for me, I find myself solving issues programming stuff, seeing parallelism between software development and anything and randomly toss out the classical: "you know, with and Arduino you could(...)" To people put of nowhere.
So yeah. Guess it's for me. I hate it but... Wait, I could automate my windows depending on the difference between internal and external temperature... Hmm... Later guys, got a project to deal with!14 -
Who else works at a company that enforces test driven development? And after doing TDD do you think you could ever go back to NOT doing TDD?
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Me: Hey, can we schedule a weekly meeting at <day, hh:mm>? I can give you an update on my work and we discuss upcoming problems?
Superviser (assigned especially to me): Yeah sure, come over, I'm free at that time.
Said day he comes 1h late, missing the appointment. Talking later that day to schedule another meeting for the upcoming week, he confirms.
Appointed day he's not there again, working from home. This has happend a few times now. They expect me to update our shared calendar or at least write a mail if I'm not available. He doesn't.
Could you fucking not?2 -
Not a rant.
How many members and daily active users does devrant have? I feel like it's a sleeping giant.
@dfox and @trogus - you guys could be sitting on a fortune.8 -
I "fight" with another developer at the end of a school project (a website).
The "other developer" complained because he had received a lower rating than mine.
He went to the teacher telling them that I had to lower the evaluation because during the project I watched TV series, And the teacher replied: there are those who can do it and some like you do not.
He could not do it because when he concentrated he could not do anything, you think when he lost himself in TV series.
There were various quarrels because I had this attitude but a higher rating (and anyway with a product a thousand times better than his), while he gave 100% he could not do anything.5 -
I could use some advice. Immagine this: you recently started a new job where the people are great, the product is pretty cool and pay is good. But the code you have to work with is the biggest pile of shite you've ever seen and your manager does not want to change any of this, even after you suggest you would build something that would be a thousand times better, not only "code wise" but for the users too. What would you do?9
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Creating an secure authentication system is not that easy...
Especially if you create it for a community full of devs.
But I think I've found a secure solution.
Maybe some security experts on here could review the code after I'm finished.
Here's the GitHub repo but the auth system is not up yet:
https://github.com/DevRant-Docs/... -
I think what we need is a bot that scrapes user information from Facebook. That way we could show people that not only Facebook, but everyone can earn a lot of info about someone.
All these people starting to hate and blame Facebook for it's issues...
And no one realizes that it could be their fault.
If everyone shares so much info about their lives, it's very presumably, that Facebook knows a lot about you.1 -
Co-worker: So if you were to build a glove like what Ultron had that could levitate objects how would you do it?
Me: I'm not sure, but I'd begin by looking at the work Ed Leedskalin was doing in Florida.
Co-worker: Of course you have a possible lead on this...
XD1 -
What piece of shit coded this site?
https://freefilefillableforms.com//...
This is website people who did not file a tax return can use to get their stimulus check.
It’s not mobile friendly or even responsive in the least bit.
These people are poor and desperate and do you think they have laptop or desktops? No they use their phones.
You could have added some Flex box, now people are freaking out all over the internet.
Who the fuck would do this also this?5 -
Has anyone worked as a software developer at a consulting company as a full time employee, not just a contractor? If so, could you offer how the experience was?
I've read a lot of developers shit on consulting positions, but it seems no different then developing a product for clients.9 -
hey guys if any of you guys are good with legal stuff some help would be appreciated.
so there’s this brand tld, which i won’t state for privacy sake. it is, coincidentally, my last name. naturally, i thought it would be pretty cool if i could change my personal domain to <my first name>.<my last name> but after contacting them i did not get a response.
do you guys think i have any legal standing to get my domain? could anyone help?8 -
"In Python 3, exec is a function; its use has no effect on the compiled bytecode of the function where it is used."
Found in a stackoverflow post.
So wait, you mean to say, you could hide code in a pyc file or am I mistaken?
How is this not a security concern?12 -
"Ughh, you're such a lazy person. Why don't you finish it instead of making me do everything afger I asked YOU to do it"
I am so fucking done playing family technicman for you. I copied all of your data from your old phone to yojr new one. I set up everything except personal accounts because I respect privacy. You only need to insert your damm sim card.
And don't you even try giving me that "I tried but could not do it, it's just to complicated"
I could buy the same phone, throw it at you and pay the lawyer if I would get one cent for each time you said that.1 -
"If Ernest Hemingway, James Mitchener, Neil Simon, Frank Lloyd Wright, and Pablo Picasso could not get it right the first time, what makes you think that you will?" - Paul Heckel2
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Back in the day, I thought the stuff for the avatar was an allowance system; you could only get things that totaled to your level of ++ but not beyond it.2
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The moment when you forgot to git commit and push, and you decided to continue to work on new features and you could not roll back to the previous build...3
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Stop shoving Django admin down everyones throat as a client facing solution every time we need any admin functionality.
It’s great at first but then you have to dick around customising it when you could build the same thing with any modern frontend framework and REST API easily.
Not to mention Django admin couples the models to the view it provides you (inlining particular models given their relationships) -
Supervisor: "You could just hold a meeting for 5 minutes and talk about what problems you encountered during development"
Or... you could just go home and not waste your 5 minutes talking about jerking people off.1 -
I'm at work but not working, at all!
Planning was done very badly, my team finished in a very effective and efficient way, even before the timeline(including tests and all other things).
It's been a month(or so) since I'm not doing anything, the start was cool, I know most of you are gonna say you envy this, believe me, I'm not, I feel useless and the sense I could be fired at anytime increases everyday (my personal paranoia).
What would Brian Boitano do?4 -
Taking mandatory corporate compliance training that says what things I am not allowed to do...
BUT it's actually quite interesting because I never knew you could do these and well it's starting to give me ideas.... -
min-height: calc(100% - 1rem)
AAAAA REEEEEEEEE WHAT ARE YOU DOINGGGGGGGGGGG IF YOU DONT UNDERSTAND CSS DONT USE ITTTTTTTTTTT
so much pain / time could be saved if devs just used a damn framework (i don't care, bootstrap or tailwind, have at it which is better, i could care less). stop trying to be fancy, like this above, because its ultimately wrong. sorry i'm not sorry7 -
Sure, you *could* set up identical VMs on your server and just have one config file for your java application. But why not just set up lots of users on the server, keep various configs in source control, and have a manual task to change the config you're pointing to when you build?
Idiots.2 -
!rant && seekGuidance
Been coding for 8 years now, working for at least 6-7 ( freelancing mostly ). Have done multiple big projects along the way, and have not written a single test case ever. Everything works just fine, I usually test things alongside coding stuff. Could someone explain the benefits of creating tests? You can slap me in the face for not doing it if you want ( after explaining why it's so bad ). btw, i'm a web developer ( symfony / angular / vue )5 -
Fuck Off JPEG you piece of ancient shit. Hello HEIF! Not apple tech but they are certainly adopting it across the board (also replaces gif). Safari is the only browser supporting the format. Now we have to wait for every fucker else to arrive, could be 5 years for Mucroshite (wankers).4
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I received the following e-mail today:
Hey, XYZ! Could you please check the following in your web application. The data do not show correctly. Could it be a bug?
[insert attached screenshot with said "bug"]
My reply:
Hey, ABC! It is not a bug. You uploaded the data into the wrong table. 😊
[insert attached screenshot with the incriminating evidence]
-----------------------------
I felt a bit savage and I liked it. 🔥4 -
Wish everyone could understand that it's not learning the programming language or the 'best practices' that makes you good it's understanding how things work together and how to mix them to create new things that do what you want is the real engineering2
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I dreamt we had a linux shell build-in our brains. Was not that useful though because it was kind of sandboxed so you could neither access any memories or brain functions, nor insert any data other than text. But at least you could test some bash scripts and such.9
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Of all the horrible things that could happen to a software company, which do you think is the worse one?
- greedy corporation decisions (cut here, cut there,...)
- politics (do this, do that, do NOT do that thing that'd make it fly)
?
https://theregister.com/2021/11/...3 -
// I could not post it yesterday coz #devrant
Am I the only person here who really but really started to hate fireworks?
Everyone is shooting, I can't even play because it is so loud outside and do not try to open windows coz you will die from poisoning in seconds...2 -
- Hey, could you help me understanding your method? I'm trying here to implement it on my side but it doesn't work
- I'm not at home right now and don't remember the code i wrote. I will look at it when i get back home
- Ye but can you explain it briefly?
- I JUST FUCKIN TOLD YOU I DONT REMEMBER IT EXACTLY, I AM NOT AT HOME AND I DON'T FUCKIN HAVE THE COMPUTER WITH ME. WHAT HE FUCK WAS SO DIFFICULT TO UNDERSTAND?2 -
- I have done this, this and this. I'm an amazing programmer even though i copied it from SO.
- Allright, could you explain this part since you did not write one single comment.
- (insert generic bullshit excuse)
you don't think he's the one getting the internship amd the summer job since he's the loudest? dear god, my fist, his face.3 -
For my Thesis
Hello devs on the internet,
I’m currently collecting data for my thesis. As my thesis is about freelancers I was hoping to interview a couple of people here who used to have a regular job and transitioned to freelancing. Interviews will be over email so it hopefully won’t take up a lot of time.
As for people who wouldn’t be available for interviews, could you help me out by answering a survey? 😁
For interviews could you email me at uzair.hayat@benilde.edu.ph
For surveys you can fill it out here https://goo.gl/forms/...
This message has not been approved by Dfox and I hope it won’t be removed haha2 -
Not a fight per se, but I once had a debate with a tech lead who thought you could set a variable in the ‘then’ clause of a Javascript promise and just use said variable after the promise declaration and assume it would be populated.
“no.... thats not how asynchronous code works.”1 -
When Do You Stop Taking Responsibility?
Let me clarify by describing four scenarios in which you are tasked with some software development. It could be a large or small task. The fourth scenario is the one I'm interested in. The first three are just for contrast.
1. You either decide how to implement the requirements, or you're given directions or constraints you agree with. (If you hadn't been given those specific directions you probably would have done the same thing anyway.) **You feel accountable for the outcome**, such as whether it works correctly or is delivered on time. And, of course, the team feels collectively accountable. (We could call this the "happy path.")
2. You would prefer to do the work one way, but you're instructed to do it a different way, either by a manager, team lead, or team consensus. You disagree with the approach, but you're not a stubborn know-it-all. You understand that their way is valid, or you don't fully understand it but you trust that someone else does. You're probably going to learn something. **You feel accountable for the outcome** in a normal, non-blaming sort of way.
3. You're instructed to do something so horribly wrong that it's guaranteed to fail badly. You're in a position to refuse or push back, and you do.
4. You're given instructions that you know are bad, you raise your objections, and then you follow them anyway. It could be a really awful technical approach, use of copy-pasted code, the wrong tools, wrong library, no unit testing, or anything similar. The negative consequences you expect could include technical failure, technical debt, or significant delays. **You do not feel accountable for the outcome.** If it doesn't work, takes too long, or the users hate it, you expect the individual(s) who gave you instructions to take full responsibility. It's not that you want to point fingers, but you will if it comes to that.
---
That fourth scenario could provoke all sorts of reactions. I'm interested in it for what you might call research purposes.
The final outcome is irrelevant. If it failed, whether someone else ultimately took responsibility or you were blamed is irrelevant. That it is the opposite of team accountability is obvious and also irrelevant.
Here is the question (finally!)
Have you experienced scenario number four, in which you develop software (big as an application, small as a class or method) in a way you believe to be so incorrect that it will have consequences, because someone required you to do so, and you complied *with the expectation that they, not you, would be accountable for the outcome?*
Emphasis is not on the outcome or who was held accountable, but on whether you *felt* accountable when you developed the software.
If you just want to answer yes or no, or "yes, several times," that's great. If you'd like to describe the scenario with any amount of detail, that's great too. If it's something you'd rather not share publicly you can contact me privately - my profile name at gmail.com.
The point is not judgment. I'll go first. My answer is yes, I have experienced scenario #4. For example, I've been told to copy/paste/edit code which I know will be incomprehensible, unmaintainable, buggy, and give future developers nightmares. I've had to build features I know users will hate. Sometimes I've been wrong. I usually raised objections or shared concerns with the team. Sometimes the environment made that impractical. If the problems persisted I looked for other work. But the point is that sometimes I did what I was told, and I felt that if it went horribly wrong I could say, "Yes, I understand, but this was not my decision." *I did not feel accountable.*.
I plan on writing more about this, but I'd like to start by gathering some perspective and understanding beyond just my own experience.
Thanks5 -
do you know the feeling, when it is friday and it is like nice hot weather 26°c. you kinda wished you could just zit outside and enjoy the view days of the summer that are not to hot or to cold (location: the netherlands).
this made me slack off today. only did my sprint planning for next monday and wrote some unit test and some software modification documents.4 -
15 mins in our weekly dev meeting, boss comes in sits down and starts talking about a project. After that he stands up and brings one of the designer in and begins to make some stuff up we could add. Are you kidding me? That is a dev meeting, he is not even supposed to be there. How rude disturbing a meeting so he can discuss stuff we could discuss later-.-1
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Does anyone else get frustrated when your co-worker goes behind you and changes the name of a particular variable? Changing the word "repo" to "repository" does not clarify a fucking thing! You're not going to confuse it with something else. I've never once seen the word and thought "Damn, that guy meant reposition and I just fucked everything up." It would be one thing if our lead Dev told me to not use the word, but he could not care less.
Am I in the wrong?1 -
If i could estimate a schema issue. I looked at this site once in my time here. Don’t know shit about schema’s.
Estimating haha.
Im not asking you an estimate for example building a rocket. Right?
I don’t know this shit. -
Common Docker for Windows! Are you serious? What in heavens name could you do wrong to loose access to your own ducking database?! And as if that's not enough there comes the internet in the form of Google telling me that I'm the only idiot with this problem. Sure sure. Gnarf.5
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Thanks Windows 10 April update:
i'm not even mad for using my network on high priority when you were downloading the update or taking 1 freaking hour of my working time to finish the updates just to add spam to my lockscreen and an uglier task view but if you could please at least not f**k up all my Wifi, bluetooth and video driver it would be great!
Still having problem with bluetooth connection and i re-installed drivers several times! -
Not really developer related, but today, my girlfriend was trying to convince me why taking the stairs was better then the elevator. She decided to not mention the health benefits, not talk about safety risks. The argument she chooses is that "stairs have less steps" like what? Out of all the things you could have said, that is literally the worst argument. I can't think of a single statement less true! Like she could have stated pretty much any fact and that would have been a better argument. I don't understand what's going on in her head sometimes.3
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Why can I not find a way to keep a window on top in Windows? Am I being dumb? I feel like this used to be a thing you could do in task manager7
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!dev
when one of your best domains were taken for a long time and you didn't considered about buying or hijacking it or even thought about what you would even do with it because its taken anyway and you are not an asshole. But then out of nowhere you get an offer to get this domain. and you start thinking... what cool project you could do with it and what it may becomes - and what if your project fails and you wasted a great domainname... but ofcurse you stuggle for too long and the old owner bought it already back again, like he just forgot to renew it and didnt even cared about it that much.
congratulations. you now cant stop thinking about this cool project and what it could may be. instead you see someone else wasting it...
as if dev life is not depressing enough. back to localhost :( -
The happiness of finishing a project that put so much stress into you, best feeling ever.
10 minutes later...
Others in office: Oh you're done. Could you help us with
Me: No
Others: It's not a lo
Me: No.
At least give me time to catch a power nap.2 -
I didnt ask you if it could be done but I asked you how it could be done. Those are two very different things.
I hate it when people won't change the way they work because it wasn't told them that they could do that. You are a human being, not an engine. Adapt.1 -
if I could use the time I spend on the Windows loading screen actually programming, I might actually be a productive employee.
it has to do with our network... if it's not connected when you boot, it's fast enough, but that's using cached credentials... what the hell is taking so long?2 -
Because teams is a big fucking waste. Wonder why does it have to use all that cpu, fking pirece shit. They could have made it a simple chat platform, but not Microsoft.
Teams, you've been the main cause of my everyday struggles, and I gave you one last chance but you proved to really like to storm your shit.
F .. at this point we're playing catch me, why do you have to launch yourself again after I just killed you?!
use you crap from browser.6 -
QA: “this looks off”
Tell me what do you mean by “off”? Spacing? Alignment? Color? On what devices?
I understand that you may be seeing things I don’t but let me help you! We have a QA Feedback Template how lazy can you be to not apply it?
Such a waste of time back and forth of what could have been an easy task!5 -
// new Rant("help needed!")
I really need some help guys! Would be nice if you could checkout
http://stackoverflow.com/questions/...
and help me out if possible :) Got some problems with ffmpeg on OS X not streaming https urls.
And if these kind of rants aren't supposed to be posted/created please tell me so. I am still not familiar with the overall flare of this community ;)8 -
I was wondering...
What do you guys think of different work places e.g not working at your desk but instead working outside with a laptop?
I think you would lose alot if productivity because your screensize is limited and so on while coding. But if you're just writing/replying to Emails i think it could be fun.4 -
What are the signs that you should quit your programming job? I always work 12+ everyday. I came to the point that I'm starting to get sick. Now my boss is mad because I did not go to work for a reason that I'm not feeling well. Plus, we are having deathmarch project management. I could say I'm already burned out. Don't know what to do.6
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You know what really grinds my gears? Java libraries that use native libraries when they could have easily done their task without them.
I’m looking at you Couchbase Lite. Use H2, not SQLite you dumb shit. Be smart like Nitrite. -
I use this app from Laptop and It does not have draft facility :(
Could you just make this popup close by clicking on close button only not from outside area of popup
:(5 -
I was writing a random rant about something that happened to me this morning, and the app decide to crash a second before I could post it.
I get it devRant, my stories aren't interesting, but you could at least have crash at the beginning and not after I have already spent half an hour writing the story :( -
In case you want to become a front-end dev learn your basics. Dont use position absolute if not necessary. Don't margin -300px, if that's the case to position something there is another error in code that could be fixed to solve this
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I wish I could stop forgetting how to write bash script. I have just spent about 5 hours on a 10minutes script.
This script allows you to run a command on a file for which you only have specified the last letters (the extension is not required). It's like an autocomplete from the end. Does it make sense ?
Whatever here's the link : https://gist.github.com/GarreauArth... -
Devs from company that develop/modify a service for us say "you can test on <env>".
Description of how to test: scattered across multiple tickets, comments and slack messages in multiple conversations...
Oh and please... Could you not directly merge 20+ branches directly to the dev branch without testing...
So much going wrong with this project... Already a month overdue on the first release... -
Do you guys think that it would be possible to build a cryptocurrency that could replace traditional banking and money at all?
A non anonymous cryptocurrency, that could guarantee enough privacy to not be used for surveillance but at the same time could be used by common people.
I had this thought recently but at the time of writing ( :P ) I haven't enough knowledge and time to go deeper than this (meaning "nothing").14 -
I guess coding is a coping mechanism for not matching on any dating sites and hence no dates...
I guess you could say it helps me find alternative methods to release my per up desires... Although I guess a real relationship is something it can't replace... -
I'm having a bad time using this Gnome. How could you say this is better than Unity? I think it's not.12
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Found this in a shell script. Instead of just one regex, why not use grep and sed, even though you could have just done it all with sed!
IMAGE_TAG=`grep defproject project.clj | sed -e 's/^.* \"//' -e 's/\"//'`2 -
Okay I always found these js weirdnesses that you see in memes more or less logical if you think about it, but so far I could not find any logic behind this:
true&&undefined
>undefined
false&&undefined
>false
can anyone explain wtf they thought about there? undefined is falsy so why not just convert it to boolean implicitly!4 -
Remember, you're not just the dev. You're the asset designer, UI designer, UX designer, translater, network assistant, general computer help, and more! What wonders you can work!
Actually, I'm wondering what management actually does other than "making decisions", whatever those could possibly be. We seem to make all the others. F*&#%*! -
I love you sooo much Microsoft! Your goddamn Office download page won't stop re-loading. For fucks sake, get your shit together.
Someone messed with something they shouldn't, but I have no idea what it could be.
And no, I'll not try open it on IE.3 -
Well... best thing you could do is not limit yourself to one language and one area of programming. Experience and being better comes from exposing yourself to variety of programming areas and seeing how things are done there. :)
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It would be neat if you could filter by tags, like you can filter by categories now.
So you can e.g. say "I don't want to see any posts with the tags 'gdpr' 'github' 'microsoft' "
(My feed would probably be empty afterwards, but that's not the point)1 -
Anyone else get the feeling that you're whiling away your weekend when you could be getting stuff done that you found important/likeable? It sucks to realize you get 32 hours of waking time and not one meaningful ("important but not urgent") thing gets done in that time.5
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so anyhow is a rust crate used in like 1/3 of all repositories
but you could just not add a dependency and do Result<(), Box<dyn std::error::Error>>
🤔
probably I'm missing something2 -
To not be too emotionally attached to stuff. At the end of the day, all good things come to an end. Also, not to be 100% loyal. That could squeeze more effort out of you at the cost of your efficiency. Have a life, live it.
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I'm not sure I understand this but you can shrink anything by putting it in a gel and shining a laser at it? And whatever you put in would still work? So I could shrink a TV into nanoscale then, it would have the same mass... So theoretically I could create a black hole?
https://amp.cnn.com/cnn/2018/...4 -
Don't ask me to go to your desk or wherever you are just to tell me some bullshit you could write over chat. Specially not when I'm wearing my headphones.
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I spent 2 hours in an agile workshop with the "I do not think it means, what you think it means" guy.
When finished I could swear that if you asked the people what is agile, they would start crying. -
A recruiter asked me: "Are you familiar with...VLAN?"
I'm a certified network technician, and the recruiter knew that beforehand.
It's a bit like asking a bicycle delivery man if he knows about handlebars. Well, yes? Which was what I answered. Not sure how I could have answered that question without sounding stupid.3 -
Do you know of any free tools to limit the network of a specific application on windows?
NetLimiter works but I have to buy it after the test period. Could not find anything else.5 -
When you interview, remember that the single biggest factor in getting an offer is whether the interviewer likes you or not. I could tell lots of stories to back that up but it would take forever. So my TL;DR version would be: it isn't the only thing that matters, but trust me - it's crucially important.
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Work email conversation with a COTS app support tech:
Tech: Could you provide me the following from Sql Server? (instructions followed)
Me: I am not the DBA, but I've sent them the request.
Tech: Could you send me the following from Sql Server while we wait? (Instructions followed)
Me: As I said, I don't have permissions to access what you want.
Tech: Oh, I see now, you most likely don't have proper access to be able to retrieve the information.
Me: ..yeah. Thanks. -
You just have to love users, especially when you work in an environment where politics dictate database constraints and application rules.
"Can you pull tax info for x, y, and z."
Nope, I could if the stuff was entered into the database properly but until standardized I can't do much. Here are the numbers I have, use them or don't but I'm not fabricating data for you for a tax form. -
So this is going to sound perverted or just weird for some of you, but I’m honestly just curious (whole sentence sounds comical). Making a porn site is not that difficult, but how the hell do people get traffic? Seriously, the amount of money one could make is ridiculous.4
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Who knew you could make (more or less) everything dark mode in windows 7?
I wish windows 10 could also give the explorer a dark mode... As far as I know you can only use high contrast mode to do that which is ugly af. Why add a dark mode to the settings and start menu but not for the windws explorer?11 -
Google hangouts on air: if you could not drop everything you recorded so far when I lost connection with the internet for a minute once I am an hour and a half into the meeting... that would be great.1
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My dear developers I would really appreciate if you could recommend me technology for diving into web development. I am thinking about django/python or laravel/php but I am not sure.
I know it is opinion based question but I need your help to decide..9 -
So I'm trying to port forward my PS4. But the problem is, I'm on boingo wireless. You can't access router settings because of "security reasons". I do have Linux and wondering if there's a way to do it using the terminal. Maybe ssh? Already tried iptables, but also could have just done it wrong. I'm not sure how I could do this considering we're not supposed to be able to.6
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To my credit I do not upon seeing it understand why anyone would pay 2000 a month to live in Boston or near it
You could probably by land an hour away for soooo much cheaper
This country has problems16 -
qemu-img keeps on reporting error:
Could not open 'some-qcow2-img': No such file or directory
Why you waste me 2 hours for troubleshooting instead of telling me it's the backing file that could not be found? -
WTF why does Visual C++ show an error in some system include BUT NOT THE FUCKING INCLUDE CHAIN DESPITE /showincludes GIVEN???
How the fuck are you supposed to find a wrongly defined macro that way? Go through all 20 layers of includes and map out what could POSSIBLY be the include chain? Seriously WHY?? -
I don't understand those rants about problems that can be fixed by just googling some keywords..or even the slightly harder ones where you could just tinker with the device for a bit and get closer to a solution/workaround... i mean if it's not a hardware problem then it can clearly have a solution.
my reasons:
1- you use your knowledge for good
2- you learn something new
3- you don't let the tech guys get bothered by small tedious problems -
You finally get the Jenkins configuration correct, then this message appears:
stderr: fatal: unable to access 'https://github.com/someuser/...': Could not resolve host: github.com -
Is JavaScript the Tower of Babel? What will be the long term effects of the explosion of new frameworks. I liked it when you could use a backend server side language and had JavaScript as the special sauce that could do what the backend could not do. I am sure I will be sent to hell for blaspheming the hot, new js frameworks. Oh well better to burn out than fade away.
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how do you learn some concept in programming/dev? am not talking about the understanding, but rather the remembrance part, like retaining in memory in a way that you could remember to recognise/use it , the next time you see it or need it?
do you prefer :
- writing on pen and paper(ie creating notes)
- writing a personal/public online blog
- implementing it in a project that depends on it/ some sample project
- or something else?11 -
so.. k
my name is not my name and i'm only 40 years old and its really 2022 ! I give ! Or Take or whatever ! and the world is fine, and people are great and none of this happened before ! can I do something different now or could all of you fucking fucks ?2 -
you know.
its not that I mind doing laptop bezel and cover replacement.
I'm just sick of having to do it to the exact same laptop I have to keep buying when I could have had a far newer and faster model by now with a 10 year warranty included !7 -
You know. In debian, albeit it didn't work great last time I used this tool, you could build source directly into a debian package, which included the source package.
Now this was not an easy wonderful thing. But in theory it made sense, and then if you needed to add something that would alter existing configuration etc, you could add these seperately or manually..
That I know, no such thing for rpms.
But thats not what annoys me.
AFTER ALL THIS TIME WHY IS THERE NO GRAPHICAL PACKAGE MAKER ?1 -
I like that scene in Liar Liar where Jim Carey tells everyone what he really thinks. What would you scream out at a group of programming elites if you could do it without getting in hot water. I admit I have been advised not to buck convention openly. I think that is bs but probably true.
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I bought a software from FastSpring which claimed it could stop automatic updates, but I was late entering the key for it. Wouldn't you know that a fucking update came in before I could stop it: what geniuses these fkg assholes at MS are! Changed every goddamned setting, killed my old printer, can't find the second monitor, changed the start menu, power settings. FUCK YOU MICROSOFT, YOU ARE DUMBFUCK SHITHEADS TO NOT ALLOW ME THE FREEDOM TO OWN MY OWN COMPUTER! And who the fuck in the government allowed this shit to happen?? The land of the free, my ass.5
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You know
When I first saw etherum talking about am distributed state machine i thought wow. Not very practical but NEAT. I envisioned being able to make a byte code that could be stored in transactions and run by individual clients in an async function and each step of the resulting execution and the values of managed ram would be stored at intervals so other clients could take over and execute a few more statements and compare what should always be expected results that are identical
A grand incredibly inefficient system however really neato from the theoretical computer nerd standpoint !
Boy was I disappointed lol all it is a basic contracts language but yet they state it could be like a word computer ! How ? I thought maybe if you had enough nodes participating maybe you could store registers and the like in transaction values ? Wouldn’t that be the way ?
Seems like as a word computer they’re stuck somewhere between very simplistic js and something prior to amptron in usability yet they advertised as a world computer
Am i missing something ? I mean you could create something that would translate higher level code into smal numeric statements and then send it additions values but what would it be useful for and how would you actually. Store anything ? -
[Not A Rant] Could you guys share your programming music playlist, looking for some music to get into the zone.4
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Spend like 3 weeks in mem-checking with valgrind and ASAN, because there seemed to be some leaks. So painful and scary. You loose all confidence in your software, the checking tool, your own sanity.
Some spurious result prevailed, could only move it around. Boss could not reproduce the problem on his machine; Ubuntu 18 with GCC 7, mine was Debian 9 with GCC 6, so I tried older Ubuntu with GCC 5. Also no problem.
Fuck it, I'm switching to clang. -
I know this is not the best place where I can ask a question, since this is not really a rant but I would really appreciate it if you can help me.
I was wondering if you can suggest me a simple open source Android native game with a set gameplay time ( aka some racing game where the duration could be 3-5 min depending on the players actions, but not infinite) and possibly different levels of difficulty.
Yes I googled this and I found several good ones, but I am looking for more suggestions. -
Is the scrolling to first new comment when tapping a one or more new comments on a rant you commented on not working? I could swear that was working at some point5
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! Rant
Updated Linux Kernel to 4.8.3 with pacman - Syu and KDE also updated. After reboot I get the message "Could not start D-Bus, can you call qdbus?"
Any clues? -
Some game related info is here. Maybe you could make some sense out of this. Here are a few pictures related to this but I cannot say anything with confirmation as I am not into gaming. I know Arcade cabinet machine is good. You can try this out for more detailed stuff for all of us.3