Mom : My washing machine is not working.
Please fix it.
Me : I am a computer engineer.
Mom : You are an engineer though.
Me : That's not how it works.
.
.
.
2 hours and many YouTube tutorials later
Me : It's done.
Mom : Didn't I tell you you can do it.

Me: I'm done working for today, let's pack up and go home !
Windows: :)
Me: You better fucking not-
Windows: Installing update 1 of 893...

Me: *hours of coding, develops a feature*
Code: I'm working..
Me: Oh good.. will monitor you for sometime.
Code: Ok, I'm done. I'll stop working now.
Me: WTF

Me: *sits for hours to solve bugs*
And when almost done,
VPN: Someone's having a good day, I'll disconnect you now.
Me: WTF

Me: *tries switching on/off VPN couple of times..*
When it starts to connect,
WIFI: Oh wait!! It's my turn to bid goodbye now. Have a nice day sir
Me: Of course !! The wifi

Me: *restarts router/ troubleshoot etc*
When wifi says connected...
Battery: Good job with wifi.. I'm down now..what you gonna do?
Me: Are you fucking kidding me???

Me: *connects charger, wait for laptop to switch on*
Windows: Updating....
Me: *jumps out window*

Client: "Hi, there's a problem with this link"
Me: "How odd, I'll take a look right away"

-- 19 minutes later --

Client: "Has this been fixed?"
Me: "I'm working on it currently"
Client: "OK please let us know when it's done"
Me: "I will do"

-- 2 minutes later --

Client: "Hi, is this done?"
Me: "I've just told you I will let you know as soon as it's done"

-- 5 minutes later --

Client: "Hi, sorry to hassle, but is this done yet?"
Me: *starts twitching*
Me: "I am working on it and I will let you know when it's done"
Client: "OK, well don't worry about it, it doesn't really matter"
Me: *explodes*

After moving to SSD I noticed I'm too slow for my computer. When it finishes working I can feel it asking me "you done thinking m8?"

Rough analysis of LinkedIn inmail’s I get:

Hi <5% of time, not my name>,

I was looking at your profile <97% a lie>. I was very impressed with your <10% something I’ve never done> experience working for <5% a company I’ve never heard of>. Would you be interested in hearing more about <60% a job I’m not suited for>, they offer amazing benefits and have a great culture!

... no

Me: *receives SMS from ex girlfriend*
GF: "I'm horny, whatcha doing now?"
Me: "Not much, just working on the update system to this tool which will be used with mod. Can't talk right now"

This was the fastest "murdering of the mood" I ever done.

i've been working with my plan to make a small software development company for a while now.

time to implement my plan
Finalizing my plan: Done
Quit my job: Done
Ordering Office Requirements : Shipping
a Server : Shipping
Dozen of Rubber Ducks : Shipping
etc...

so here it is, Day 0; repurposing my bunker to be my small office !

new life, new hope

Picking up my kid in kindergarten, they asked if I had time to help fix the manager's computer. Internet wasn't working, at had been on the phone with support for 4 hours. I accepted the challenge, open prompt and typed "ipconfig /renew". Done. I walked out a rockstar.

Coworker: "Hey do you have 30 minutes? We should debug my broken code together."

Me: *slightly interested in the project he's working on* "Sure, let's do it."

Coworker: *explains the problem for 10 mins*

Me: "Maybe--"

Coworker: "OH here's the problem!" *type type type* *git commit -am 'Fixed'* "Done."

Me: *wants 10 minutes of life back*

Fuck frontend. Writing a new service thingy and while the backend was done in about one fucking hour, I've been working on the frontend for hours now because frontend fucking hates me and that feeling is fucking mutual.

Grrrrrrr. (and respect for the ones who can properly develop nice looking interfaces)

I am working on another developer's PHP code, and I found a new way that he done the redirect after the login with PHP!

Working with a new dev several years ago -

Him: "Man, I don't get why everybody thinks coding is hard. It's easy!"

Me: "It gets tougher, the more you read the more you realize you know less than you think."

Him: "I'm done reading! I did all of my reading in college."

Me: thinking "have a nice career"

Manager: *taps dev on shoulder* We need to do B

Dev: I know, you created a ticket for it yesterday

Manager: Yeah but it hasn’t been done yet. It needs to get done.

Dev: I’m currently working on A which is higher priority

Manager: Ok but B needs to be done too

Dev: I know, it’s next on my board

Manager: I’m just making sure you are aware of it

Dev: I am aware of it, it’s next on the board

Manager: Ok but make sure you do it after A

Dev: Yup it’s next up

Manager: Ok, don’t let anyone distract you

Dev: …

Working from home in 2020:

Both kids haven't interrupted me in an unusually long time.... That likely means they're up to no good.

On the other hand I'm getting a lot of coding done (bunch of fixes done / misc new tasks done).

So now I sort of do a little mental math to guess if the damage they might be doing is less than the value of me getting shit done for work....

I love coming home from classes to get some work done on my setup.
My thought is; if I'm going to be sitting here for hours at a time working, may as well make it a comfortable environment.

Dear Marketing Guy,

You had no right to manipulate the perfectly working "WordPress" site, but since you have done it by injecting a script you found on the internet in functions.php, It is now my unpaid job to fix this mess.

Yours truly,
Underpaid Developer

P.S. Fuck you

Fuck YOU Xcode!

20 crashes since I started working this morning.

Restarted the iMac, same shit.

Cleared NVRAM/PRAM whatever its called, same shit.

Closed EVERYTHING, restarted iMac again, unplugged from the wall, left it few mins, replugged back, turned it on, continued working, AND IT STILL KEEPS FUCKING ME OUT OF NOWHERE.

FUCK THIS, FUCK XCODE, FUCK APPLE, AND FUCK WHOEVER DARES TO THINK THAT ITS A GREAT PIECE OF SOFTWARE, im done.

P.S. this rage got me to a point where i had to make this paper

Our working hours are from 9 to 6 which is the standard in Malaysia (I'm not malaysian )

Yesterday I came in around 10AM and my boss took me to his room as soon as I arrived.

Boss: If you were in school and you come late what do you expect to happen ?

Me: get punished, I'll compensate by working an extra hour today.

Boss: well our clients aren't available at your extra hour and I'm struggelling with a big client you're supposed to ship the rest of his site and golive today and he's freaking out

Me: yh well his site is done it just needs final QA before going live.

Boss: oh its done already?, cool cool. Anyway you shouldn't be late you're not Malaysian and being late doesn't run in your genes like them.

*ops manager (Malaysian) walks in*

*boss confused*

*ops manager looks him in the eye*

*boss looks at the ground*

* me giggling while walking to my desk*

I managed to get a group of people to use an open source and privacy respecting service instead of its proprietary (surveillance) competitors today.

The experience was good for everyone and I wouldn't be surprised if at least some people who participated will remember this good working FLOSS solution.

My work is done here for the day :)

Boss: we picked up a new client!
Me: nice!
Boss: They want the unfinished software we were working on that we planned to be done 2 months from now.
Me: even better!
Boss: They want it in 3 weeks.
Me:
Me:
Me: no.

Hey, you know that screwdriver followup ticket you’ve been working on for several weeks? Yeah, I want it to use <feature> that I’ve never told you about and I know you’ve never used, and it looks like that means rewriting most of it! Also, I still want it done by tonight.

ASDFJ;katharevousa;hsh;klasdf

Soo not happening.

Team says their code is done, tested, and working. They have merged all of their code and now to merge it with mine.

Take care of the merge, go to test it, and NONE OF IT WORKS.

Ok... So maybe something in my code did it. NOPE. Still crashes without mine.

Thank goodness for version control.

Now need to help define what "tested and working" means...

"no micro managing here!"

*Boss comes in at 5*
- how much work have you done?
- why isn't this finished yet?
- you're working too slow
- show me git status
- show me git log
- why is this taking you so long?

So I started working at this IT company here in Oslo. Norway. After almost 6 months, I have almost not had anything to do, except little over just 1 month where I actually worked on a project, and now that is done. I have nothing to do, so today I applied for 11 jobs.

Wife: What are you working on?

Me: Just adding a few things to this website. I should be done in a minute.

*two hours later*

Wife: It's late. Are you coming to bed?

Me: I'll be done in a minute...

*sigh*

Shit code. I've done it, you've done it, we've all done it. Just keep working hard and improving. Eventually, you'll be writing better... shit code.

Those developers working under non-technical bosses, i understand your pain.

1. Pain when they don't realise that output != number of hours put in. Aaaaaaand that acting busy doesn't mean someone's working.
2. Pain when chilling out in office is necessary, because mind jobs don't work same as other jobs. Wherein if you don't vent it out you're gonna screw up the code. Them not getting that.
3. Pain of "meetings".
4. Pain of changing the feature when you're done, and them acting as if its a minor change.
5. Pain of vague requirements.
6. Pain of a product not thought through, and them trying to blame the implementation.

Started working on a new project. One test failed, after unsuccessful tries to fix it, I ask the team lead for advice and help.
The guy takes a look and just deletes the test and says "There, done!"

I call this the Distraction Stack.

[working on code]

"Hey, can you look at this bug?"

[
working on code,
looking at bug
]

"Can I bother you for a second?"

[
working on code,
looking at bug,
being bothered
]

"When you're done with her can you stop by my desk?"

[
working on code,
looking at bug,
stopping by your stupid desk
being bothered
]

It's enough to make me pop.

Ever had the feeling "My code is working fine but I know it's so messy and I should make it readable for others!"

-Never done anything

Mid-Friday: Boss: Start programming this application.
Me: Cool, how will it be setup? what lang-
Boss: Everything's already setup, just start programming in PHP. Check in and make sure it's done by Wednesday morning before 9.
Mid-Tuesday:
Me: Cool, it's done. Had some trouble with connecting our database to the clients, some permissions were conflicting.
Boss: Now I need you to pull it, publish it to our other azure portal, change it to ASP.NET Core 2.1 MVC and install it to teams. Also change the database to MySQL.
Me: I thought everything was already setup.
Boss: things change.
Me: Cool.
*Pulls an all nighter*
Me: Something isn't right...
Wednesday
Me*hasn't slept yet*: It's done.
Boss: Why do you look so tired?
Me: I was working last night
Boss: Well you shouldn't do that.
Me: The deadline is today. only way it was going to get done before 9 was to do it last night.
Boss: Doesn't matter.
9am Meeting:
Boss: it was easy, no hassle, it's up and running.
Me: no hassle?

Just when you are done working and want to relax so you start the pc, and this shows. Tableflip. 😒

John: You know, I don't appreciate it when I run the application and it crashes on me. Especially when you say it's working. If you say you've debugged it and got it working, I shouldn't be able to break it in the first 2 minutes.

--------------------------
me: You know John, with all due respect, there are two ways that this can go. Either we can actually work on this project as a team and get something done, or I can leave and have you flounder on your own trying to complete the rest of this project for the next 4 months. Now, I know that you don't have a lot of experience in this framework, so that means you owe me the respect I deserve and not complain about the way things are getting done.
--------------------------

Me: Ok, John, I'll fix it.

>Instructions in the manual -
1. Install Python 3.5
2. After installation is complete, open a new terminal/command prompt window and run 'pip install pandas'
3. Done!

>Client
1. Installs Python 3.7.2
2. Types Python in command prompt, types 'pip install pandas' there
3. Raises a hue and cry over the program not working because the instructions were not clear

Smfh...

Being a good developer is knowing how to balance writing perfect code with getting shit done. Working lean means half your stuff in going to die anyway, so fighting for the corpse just wastes everybody's time

Yay😊
The company I'm working at (as student developer) just told me that they would love to hire me full-time, when I'm done!
Love working here, so totally gonna take them up on that 😊

Guys, does anyone promise himself to work on a personal project on the weekend which he really is excited about working on. Then he ends up having done nothing but play a game or go out?

Like i have this idea that i really wanna make but i just cant get myself to sit down and actually do it. :/

"You've been working on this for 6 weeks, and I don't see any changes. What have you done?"
"I completely overhauled the backend, now everything makes more sense and we're using more modern APIs"
"But nothing's changed at all! The front-end looks exactly the same!!"
"*sigh* The new backend is also more secure.. "
"Oh, so it's a security upgrade, that's good, but why did it take six weeks?"
-_-

Man, most memorable has to be the lead devops engineer from the first startup I worked at. My immediate team/friends called him Mr. DW - DW being short for Done and Working.

You see, Mr. DW was a brilliant devops engineer. He came up with excellent solutions to a lot of release, deployment, and data storage problems faced at the company (small genetics firm that ships servers with our analysis software on them). I am still very impressed by some of the solutions he came up with, and wish I had more time to study and learn about them before I left that company.

BUT - despite his brilliance, Mr. DW ALWAYS shipped broken stuff. For some reason this guy thinks that only testing a single happiest of happy path scenarios for whatever he is developing constitutes "everything will work as expected!" As soon as he said it was "done", but golly for him was it "done". By fucking God was that never the truth.

So, let me provide a basic example of how things would go:
my team: "Hey DW, we have a problem with X, can you fix this?"
DW: "Oh, sure. I bet it's a problem with <insert long explanations we don't care about we just want it fixed>"
my team: "....uhh, cool! Looking forward to the fix!"
... however long later...
DW: "OK, it's done. Here you go!"
my team: "Thanks! We'll get the fix into the processing pipelines"
... another short time later...
my team: "DW, this thing is broken. Look at all these failures"
DW: "How can that be? It was done! I tested it and it worked!"
my team: "Well, the failures say otherwise. How did you test?"
DW: "I just did <insert super basic thing>"
my team: "...... you know that's, like, not how things actually work for this part of the pipeline. right?"
DW: "..... But I thought it was XYZ?"
my team: "uhhhh, no, not even close. Can you please fix and let us know when it's done and working?"
DW: "... I'll fix it..."

And rinse and repeat the "it's done.. oh wait, it's broken" a good half dozen times on average. But, anyways, the birth of Mr. Done and Working - very often stuff was done, but rarely did it ever work!

I'm still friends with my team mates, and whenever we're talking and someone says something is done, we just have to ask if it's done AND working. We always get a laugh, sadly at the excuse of Mr. DW, but he dug his own hole in this regard.

Little cherry on top: So, the above happened with one of my friends. Mr. DW created installation media for one of our servers that was deployed in China. He tested it and "it was done!" Well, my friend flies out to China for on-site installation. He plugs the install medium in and goes for the install and it crashes and burns in a fire. Thankfully my friend knew the system well enough to be able to get everything installed and configured correctly minus the broken install media, but definitely the most insane example of "it's done!" but sure as he'll "it doesn't work!" we had from Mr. DW.

I've been working on an internal application under the impression that my deadline was this Thursday. I walked in ready to tell me boss I was going to need a bit more time, and he immediately says:
"iamnull, when do you think you'll have this application done? July or August?".

So much relief.

**Me, while working on sql based project**

Manager: Does anyone knows java! Want a sample login screen written in java.

**I'm the only one in my team to know java, thus raised my hand**

Me: It's done. Mailed you the .java file.

Manager: I can see my password

Me: I fuckn hate myself. ***Forgot to set password field as password type***

Manager: you are no different than others.

Me: Yeah..😶 **f@#& you**

Several hours ago decided to quit my job due to insane manager (more in the upcoming rants) without a new job lined up.

An hour ago I got an interview invite from Uber.

WHAT IS HAPPENING

P.S. Anyone working at Uber? Did you have to do much LeetCode? I’ve done two LC exercises in my entire life. Not sure what to expect.

My team are so needy and incapable of figuring anything out independently that I've basically not got any of my sprint tasks done so far. So today I told them that I was working from home for a day to actually get done work done, but I'm on Slack if they really need me.

The only observable difference now is that instead of just bugging me, they start every conversation with, "sorry, I know you're busy, but..."

The curse of people working "Agile"

Me: So how do you guys work?

Him: Well we work agile

Me: So like scrum? Or how do you guys work agile?

Him: Weeeell.. We meet once a week and show eachother what we've done.

Me: Oh...

Not learning data structures and algorithms. Not learning programming languages. Actually not learning anything to answer during a job interview.

I am more of a learn-while-you-do kind of guy. I never learn anything, instead just do it. Interviewers think I am useless because I know nothing. But I can get a job done, any kind of job done. I have no learning period, I can start working from first day in a all new language, in a all new IDE, in a all new OS.

I know nothing, and I learn nothing. I am a problem solver. You got a problem, I can solve it.

To people who have done tech support:

Shoot me. Do you know what it is like to teach kids to use a mouse? Or even type in a keyboard? They don’t even know how to double click. Gotta call google chrome the circle of colors for them to understand. Some think the video that is giving the instructions is actually them doing it. So when it ends they are like alright done.

FYI: working in an internship currently where we teach kindergarten up until 5th graders from scratch to Minecraft modding. Btw it is an unpaid internship.

YOU STUPID APPLICATION MANAGER STOP PROLONGING THIS MEETING FOR THE LOVE OF GOD this is a daily scrum not a status report you solid twat stop asking when something will be done when it hasn't even been worked on yet

Dev: "I'll start working on the thing today, might take a day or two to finish development"
Twat: "Will it be ready for testing tmorrow"
D: "Maybe by late tomorrow? If all goes well"
T: "So it'll be tested by tomorrow"
D: "Uhhhh wait"
T: "It'll be done by tomorrow"
D: "But"

GODDAMNIT MAN HE'LL TELL YOU TOMORROW IF IT'S DONE OR NOT AND IF IT CAN BE TESTED I want to punch you so hard in the face with a spiked mallet covered in wasp stingers and hello kitty juice to excacerbate your diabetes you filthy piece of excrement waiting to be smeared across the pavement with my boot

Anyone else flipping tired of hearing: we need more this, more that, more blacks, more women, more whatever, in tech?

We don’t fucking need more anyone in anything.

We just need sane, talented and hard working people to get the job done well. And do that with courtesy to all person.

When a customer moans about a site not working in an old version IE. I bet they have their steak well done when ordering in a restaurant too.

met a client yesterday to discuss about the coming task. After discussion, we agreed that I will develop the API for the system in one month. I did the planning and posted the upcoming tasks in Trello. Today, he told me some of the tasks have been done by his staff and asked me if I can continue the remaining tasks and get it done in one week. Hey, bro, what you want!? it is not what we agreed! do you think i can understand the code that your staff wrote, with poor documentation and structure, in few hours and immediately start working on it, yet deliver everything with high quality? come on...

No work done today, yesterday or the day before that.

Reason?

THE BOSS BROUGHT HIS PUPPY!
PUPPYCUDDLES are a totally legit reason for not working 😁

So I wrote code to show the FUNCTIONALITY of my module , which has temporary variables and temporary code.
Boss after verifying : so it's done right ?
Me: no the code needs to be written .
Boss : but it's working...
Me : yeah , but this is a test environment , I need to put everything in place and test .
Boss : so it'll be done in 15 minutes right ?
Me : ...
Boss: ...

Boss: some consultants worked on this feature extending some legacy code
Boss: it's 90% done
Boss: they used FTP. It uses iframes and we fired them when they couldn't get the frontend modules working in sync with the backend.
Me: git checkout -b herewegoagain
git diff-tree --no-commit-id --name-only -r 666w3wl4d
*copy output list of files to sublime text 3; select all lines; add to each:
gitk --follow [filename] > src/.notes/herewegoagain/[filename].diff
*examines....
Me: It's -10% done. you'll know I'm almost done when I enter the fugue state. You'll find me at this address. Give me this USB stick and a 4 pack of redbull and I'll do the merge.

Working on my senior project tonight I went from "oh my god I'm so far behind I'm never going to get this done in time" to "I can't wait to show my advisor tomorrow because I've gotten so much done"

Feels good

We are working from home & my manager keep asking me about progress every 10 minutes!

I have come to a the brink of mental breakdown. I have shut down my Skype and not answering calls and I have lied to the team that I am having internet problem just to get away from them.
Ever done that ?

Spend almost 3 days translating a library from js to python, 2 hours to upload it to PyPI, 10 seconds realizing, that there is already a library that does the same thing + something a friend of mine is working to achieve. I am so fucking done...

(At least I some new learned stuff in JS and Python)

Pair programming is cool but please... if you're done with your work and nobody ask you for help or a pair programming session.. don't go to the most busy collegue and start working on his problem.. maybe he is debugging/trying some special and ultra complex functionality on his own! Try to ask if someone needs help before jumping to the next desk!
- Thaanks

Why isn't this working? I've wrote this same type of code at least 1000 times. Why must there always a problem? Literally every time I try and get something done there is always some stupid error and it's PISSING ME OFF. WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH MY BRAIN AN...oh...I misspelled "fucntion"

*working in android with manager who doesn't know android*

Me:"we need to establish different intents for x and y to get the job done"

Manager:"i dont need you deciding what I intend to do"

.... thats not what I meant by intent

Got my first soldering project working. Looks trash and horribly done but it does power the RPI from my 3d printers power supply using a buck converter to drop the voltage

Thankfully I got 2 pack of the usb c breakout boards. The first attempt is horribly mangled 😅😅😅 did i mention i suck. Lol

For the coming few months, refactoring my entire life. Everything will be redone with modularity in mind. So far it seems to be working well. Once the foundations are stable, I could start focusing further on the development of my Linux distribution. Hopefully that'll be done soon.

Me after working on a complex UI given by the designer

Me: it’s done
Designer: the underline is off by 1px
Me: yeah , that how the css accommodates according to smaller screen , it’ll still look like the UI you gave on the bigger screen.
Designer : it hasn’t come out as expected , let’s change the UI and try something new here
ME (inside): YOU PEICE OF SHIT , you should have either spoken to me before designing the UI to know what could be done , or either be happy with the 1% different in the real UI and your “photoshop image”
Me(outside): as you say

So I've been working a lot with Docker lately (who isn't) and there was this one service always DIEING on me.
Docker logs showed me that it was killed because the container was unhealthy.
I researched for a whole day and couldn't find it...
After I got home it hit me like a hammer...
The healthcheck uses basic Auth and the password was changed yesterday...

How the fuck could I start to try every shit before I even checked if the request done by the healthcheck is working...

FUCK ME I'M SUCH A MORON SOMETIMES

I'm surprised how much work I got done today. Was working in a cafe with my girlfriend. So productive.

Then I get home and think I'll continue the flow but here I am.....Just being a potato

Client - "hi, I got the mail. Is the app complete.......","...you've done this part?....","...have you done that blabla section..."

😑..I already wrote it in the mail that it is complete, dumbass. And Why don't u just flipping RUN it and see if this part and that section is working properly and tell me if your highness can spot something incomplete.

No I'm not overreacting. He acts like this all the time.

Ugh, I hate when customers refuse to pay for staging systems but then randomly complain about stuff that's WIP and not working as expected yet ...

"Yes, sir, this house doesn't have a roof right now because the basement isn't done yet."

A rant about people in general:

I am sick of people not caring, not giving a fuck, not valuing others.

Studying CS this is something I noticed the past year: people tend to not acknowledge that there are other human beings around them.

Some are just focused on getting their degree done and dusted as fast as possible, which is fine.
Some are working to pay the rent or student loans, which is fine.
Others just do their thing, code their stuff, criticize other's code... which is also fine.

But nobody's realizing they're interacting with other people! Other living, feeling human beings. For them it's just about getting it done.

And not just at university.
I've started seeing it everywhere.

At the job I'm working, people in the shops and on the streets.

I don't get it. We are all human on this rocky sphere in space. Why do so many not care for each other?

It makes me sad.

Fuck this shit, I'm done, mentally broken. I am trying to setup some basic Java project using buck. Their build times looked super promising and I wanted to migrate my multi module maven project to it.

I am currently working on it for FIVE hours now. And this fucking piece of SHIT doesn't work as I want it to. WTF FACEBOOK, IS IT SO HARD TO WRITE PROPER DOCUMENTATION THAT IS NOT OUT OF DATE?! People warned me, I ignored them. FML.

The time I used to try to get the repo working could have been used to build the project 250 times -.-

I really start to lose motivation to work when working from home..
I find myself watching YouTube videos for 4-5h a day instead of working..

Still get my sprint work done but man, it’s so boring after a year at home..

I need a hobby or someone to yell at me until I take a break from working all day every day.

Then again if I had a home office I probably wouldn't need to put in 12 hours to get 6 hours of work done.

But I still need something to do besides work and family. And someone to kick my butt until I do it and relax.

//rant

So I'm a BI consultant, been doing this for about 6 years now, and I'm pretty good at the data stuffs. Now I had to complete a project for a client where we call a web service and it had to be done in .NET. I wrote a console app in C# that called the WS, dumped the data then a stored proc processed the staging tables into final tables that our visualization tool can consume.

It works, it's done.

Mind you I'm not a pure .NET developer.

And now that it's completed and working this fucking .NET dude that works for my client is basically giving me an attitude talking about "why wasn't it done as a Windows service? Blah, blah" Like WTF!!??? I get that he's the C# BSD but like chill bruh!!

It's annoying as fuck having to work on projects that are not your area of EXPERTISE and then be ridiculed by other elitist assholes about it.

Doesn't happen much, but fuck it's something I hate about dev. FYI, if it was the opposite I would just be asking questions for understanding, not being a sarcastic prick.

//rant done

Nothing ticks me off faster than non working websites or apps of big companies.

For example how can it be that the Lufthansa app has no offline support for ticket stuff and loads like all their requests worldwide would be handled by one raspberry pi A...
YOU GOT THE MONEY SO GET THIS SHIT DONE

Today my boss told me to work more properly, because the massive feature I'm working is only halfway done.

Well thank you very much, obviously it's only halfway done yet. I'm responsible for the backend and the development for the frontend started today, by another guy who was working on another stuff until now. And I'm pretty sure we agreed that I will only do the backend...

Thanks for the uncalled critique. Great way to make me feel like my work is not appreciated. This motivated me very much to work the whole on the integration.

Literally any of them. I've got several open projects.

My personal website- started it, got about half the front end done, no longer liked it, so I scrapped it. Take 2: got about half the front end done again, and again, didn't like it. So I just stopped working on it.

A website for a local business. I was just screwing around to test my skills, and got the entire front end almost exactly how I wanted it, and then just stopped. (I got busy and forgot about it, tbh.)

A fan page for a sports team. I was going to try and test my skills to make a blog-like website, got a large chunk of the front end down, and a bit of back end done. But it took a back seat to my personal site, and is just collecting dust.

I have procrastination issues.

I usually start on stuff but get about 90-95% done and find that last 5-10% requires as much (time|energy) as the rest of the project.

Bloatware removal script in powershell for factory imaged systems currently.

Nearing completion now but always a few more features and testing rounds to go...

Working gui now but getting good UX takes time with winforms.

I am working on a webservice that some other consultants upstairs are set to consume.

Last week, monday, the consultants send multiple emails and one of them comes downstairs to find out why the service isn't working correcrly. My manager tells them in email that it is still being developed and won't be ready for ten business days.

However in the meantime the service has some barebones functionality that they can try out.

And wouldn't you know it, I get emails and visits every other day along the way asking why the service is down or doesn't function.

When is the service going to be down? Why isn't this working? Hey you need to fix this

IT'S NOT DONE YET

Typical code life?

1. Write rough comments
2. Write more detailed comments
3. Write pseudo code
4. Write semi-working but definitely ugly code
5. Write working but very ugly code
6. Refactor the code to be nicer, check for patterns, bottlenecks and other bits and pieces
7. Push to git the "final" code
8. After few months blame whoever wrote the code
9. Refactor all the things!

---

This happened in my career more than once and still - it seems like the best option out there to get things done. What do you guys think? Should something be added/removed from this? Is this over-complicated or what?

My Deepin DE on Arch... I am working on i3wm with a polybar or a conky... Will post it if and when its done... Running on a busy schedule nowadays

Manager: this feature is not working correctly
Me: yes it is
Manager: no it isn't, change it to do X
Me: but X doesn't account for half of the logic
Manager: I don't care just get it done

(1 day later)

Manager: hey, the changes you made aren't accounting for some of the logic we need. Change it back immediately!
Me: ...

Well fuck me i thought working for a company was 1) i do work 2)company pays me. Not fucking spending 3 whole days running between government offices trying to get my taxes done because half of the documents can only be sent online and the other half can only be sent in person.

I had to bite my tongue today when the MD and my colleague started to have a conversation about remote working "not working". It doesn't ******* work if you sit at your mom's kitchen table, cramped around "the team" while all using laptops without additional monitors.... yeah sure, my 3 monitors, large desk, peace and quiet and the ability to go to the bathroom without a security card "doesn't work" and is such a bad environment to get stuff done. ARGGGGG

Currently working with @Kreischo and another good friend to create a secured, encoded container to store files in it.

I am currently working on the frontend of things, thinking it's quite beautiful.. (Done with Electron)

Your opinion?

New here, don't know the format, etc

Let me describe my Friday:
8:45 standup
By 9:30 I'm done following up with 3rd party platform vendor's jira, and curiously look into an issue related to app camera not working in development build (we aren't in production), fix it in 5 minutes and talk to the team of two other devs. Tell them I've submitted a fix, and QA is unblocked.

"Senior" software dev starts complaining about how "I've wasted my whole morning" because "I mean, come on" and is generally offended because "I've done their work."

After a real puzzling argument, I worked from home the rest of the day.

Where did I go wrong?

When internet is not working:
Oh my so much I could have done!

When it starts working:
What was I supposed to do

FINALLY FINISHED THE THING I WAS WORKING ON SINCE LAST MARCH!!! THIS HAS PISSED ME OFF SO MUCH!!! TEARS WERE SHED!!!FEELINGS HURT!!! BUT IT'S DONE!!! I AM NEVER TRANSLATING SOMETHING FROM C++ TO C# AGAIN!!!

this happened two months before,
there's a UI designer guy at my office when I was about to leave the office he gave me a web page UI which has to be done by the next day.

Next day I started working on that page when I was halfway done he came to my desk and said: "there're some changes in design, the client doesn't like this part and this."

I'm like, why the fuck you didn't take client confirmation on the first place that's a fucking basic and first thing need to do. Just like the client you are a fuckin idiot. And now we don't hang out anymore.

Bought a new 1TB ssd from Intel for my laptop. The installation of the drive itself went perfectly, it works like a charm. But then I had to do a clean install of windows and ubuntu, and that's where things went wrong. The drive still works perfectly, but everything else has fallen apart. I've been fighting with them the whole working day and haven't got anything work related done. Well, a few more hours and I can head home and continue the installation with a few cold beers, that should help getting it done ;)

Shows client site in progress on demo server. I tell them not all of the responsive styles on a chunk of the pages are done yet.

Client: Everything looks wrong. If it's not working it should say 'coming soon'

Me: This is a demo server, it will be finished before the production server for sure

Client: Put coming soon up please

Talking cool app ideas with your fellow devs at work instead of actually working because your work is done ✔

The job hunt is exhausting but trying to keep a positive mindset coz my prospects look good so far. Just cant wait to be done with the interviews (hopefully within the next two weeks) and get back to reading books and binging series when i am not working without the guilt of i should be studying and won’t forgive myself if I don’t pass due to laziness.
I also actually miss writing code and working on a team. Remote work made me realize I absolutely love being a software engineer, i just hated going to the office.
Pls send positive vibes for my upcoming interviews 🙏🏾

Poor Mr. Squishy working as a window stopper, since some clever folks at the property management department, after months of nagging to get blinds so that the light reflected doesn’t interfere with my (light in general, not direct sunlight).

They installed the blinds in front of the window, so it can only be opened a few centimetres… Well done! Well done! I have to choose, either slightly warmer air than I prefer, or bothersome light reflection in all of my monitors.

Is 29 years of age to old to start learning to do some form of programming and get a full time job??? Thinkin C++ and python, i have done some research, and i will learn through youtube and books, because i have wanted to do such a thing but busy life, and im really getting to the end of my tether working in a fucking kitchen, hmph

Get a "Covid-19" email from an online service I last used 4 years ago. The email boils down to 2 sentences of "we are working remotely as we have always done, there is no impact".

3 paragraphs of "here are the services we offer you should check out".

Fuck off

LOVE how these companies are keep publishing their "AI models" without verifying or explaining their architecture, their data collection process, and any validation scores.

Like, I am to just take your word for it working "better" because of a study done by the school of PSYCHED(🤪)?

We are all working our asses off, but the backlog grows and grows.
Now management came up with a really creative, groundbreaking and clever idea: We should work more, so we can get shit done.

I think there may be some jobs vacant in the near future.

If there is anything I hate in life more than XCode is not organizing work!

A feature done few months ago on mobile, tested, passed QA and now it is not working! Why? Because API got screwed!! Why? Because someone is changing the core of the system without notifying anyone!!

Both API and that feature were not touched in months and suddenly stopped working and guess who is blamed, damn right me and the API dev when non of us even made a change -.-

Today we launched the website that I’ve been working on for months. But the stress and fatigue of everything else (my personal life, the sleepless nights) got to me. Even though I got it done and it looks great, all I can focus on is how I ended the project. How I let the frustration of everything get to me. I just needed to get that off my chest.

This android app is almost done, little bits remaining but I'm so flipping bored of it that I just don't feel like working on it for another minute. I just want to do the other app. But I must complete this one before going to the next. Must.

Have to present a school project I've been working in for three weeks with my team.

My part of the presentation is done, my part of the project is done.
The fucking sysadmin doesn't have his fucking part ready...

ALL HE HAD TO DO WAS SET UP A FUCKING WEBSERVER, IMPORT A DATABASE, EDIT THE HOST FILE AND WRITE A SMALL 2 PAGE DOCUMENT ON THE INFRASTRUCTURE.

Each of the 4 "roles" within the project need to present their own part, guess whose part of the presentation isn't there...

I am so fucking done with this guy and 2 others in the team...

I just don't get how you can spend 1000's of € per year on uni and then not take it seriously.

I hate programming as a profession, I'm done with it. Tried switching jobs, tried all the frameworks, tried different work environments, tried working less, but I don't wanna fool myself anymore. I fucking hate it.

Not sure where I'm going with this, just had to type it out somewhere.

when the project is "almost done" when you join in, but you discover that nothing is working properly and there's placeholder text in the whole database.

yay or nay?
for who are wondering what is on the screen :
i am working on a fish tank simulator gamr, which every fish have different unique combination and/or permutation. i combined this with cryptocurrency, the idea is similar to CryptoKitties and Insaniquarium combined. the implementation is not yet done, but currently i am working on the in-game market front-end functionality.

sorry no in-game preview/screenshot yet :P

curently thinking about considering to open source it and a collab.

we just created a new web dev team (3 months) and boss came to us, looked what frontend guy has done already (one guy who joined us month ago) and said "this is not how i imagined our platform. It should be working next month". Well how about providing anything to let us know what do you want? Well Im fighting now to get some brief at least ;)

##Design to front-end conversion

Me - Send me the designs so i can start working it

Graphic Designer - Done ( Sends PSD files )

Me - Send me them separately, element by element, with transparency, color codes and flattened designs not PSD's

GD - Done

Me - Opens email to see elements that should be transparent saved as jpg's

Me - Opens PSD's, crop and save elements.

Meanwhile explains next time do this and that so it'll be easier.

Usually this happens few times a month

I can get a lot more done working in Starbucks, than from my own desk at work or home. Wonder if anyone else is the same way

Docker swarm. All i want is a 'zero-downtime' system and everytime i try to set it up there's three damn things missing. Load balencer, service updater, and a good distributed storage. I finally got pissed off and am working on those but fuck it's been how fucking long docker has been out why the hell somebody else hasn't done this yet.

MRW a client wants to redo a feature on a program I'd been working on for an entire month, and expects it done in an week because "it should be easy for you to do"

I mean, impossible for who? For someone working 9-5 without procrastination, sure there are.
I have been a student and a procrastinator most of my life, so yeah, a 40 hour week's work is possible in two days with minimum sleep.
Also done massive projects in a week's time. If you know what you're doing, it's not that impossible.

Although, I find working with others almost impossible in some occasions, specially where you don't see eye to eye despite however much you try. (time-wise, speaking)

When project managers are panicking and you know you are really so close from done, a few fixes and everything will fall into place. But manager is on your neck because "nothing is working" now you must take time to be their psychologist instead of working on what is actually making them panic 🙃 development is a rough space. One bug can stand in front of working products just like that

I really wanna say, please fuck off for a few hours. Thanks bye.

Sweet, sweet weekend. :)
Now that I'm done working for money, it's time for ... CS studies assignments! Yay!
(A friend once told me jokingly I was a sucker for pain. I'm inclined to agree now.)

Oh my effing goodness...just went through the repo of an app we're working on and this new dev in our team saved his commits with, "ok", "done", "fixed", "another one", "arrggghhh!", "wow!"..."not complete"...for fucks sakes...DUDE!

Working continuously on a task for like 3 hrs, cant get it done
*goes out, mind refreshed and completes the same task in 5 mins*

Don't. Especially while you're not a senior specialist. It doesn't really matter bad company or good: they all have something bad, they all have something good. From the bad examples you will learn WHAT, HOW and *WHY* should not be done. From the good examples you will learn what and why works and how efficiently.

Next month I'm gonna be working on a project that is SO bad I will flood DR with rants. But I'm looking forward to it, because I know I will learn what else should not be done.

Better learn from their mistakes than your own

I just turned my keyboard over and gave it some gentle taps for the first time in three and a half years of working here..

I wish I had not done this..

when I'm done working..
me: should I get on wow?
me: No I'll check out devrant!

By now I'm about a month into my first job, and I've gotta say: working full-time kinda sucks. Even if I'm enjoying what I'm developing, 8 hours is still way too long to try to focus on one project. I could get more done in a productive 4 to 5 hour stretch than I've been getting done in the whole 8 I'm here. I guess that's part of the allure of freelancing though.

Done working on Loading animation for my game. (my drawing skill is very bad)

Fml
Friday: I just finished a project with someone and I went and told my boss that I'm done with this some other work can be allotted to me. He told me that I can start working on another project with another guy. This guy told me that we'll have to start working from tomorrow.
I was mentally taken aback because I thought Saturday's are holidays. And I had a feeling that maybe Saturdays are working but I wasn't just showing up(sidenote: I'm an unpaid intern here who started a month back). So I asked him one more time whether I should come tomorrow. He replied with a ya.
Saturday: I get ready take a cab to office only to realize that Saturday's are not working and what he understood from my 'tomorrow' was Monday.

Feature creep is absolutely terrible. Every freaking time I start working on my game I’ll tell myself, “okay, I’m almost done. 90% done, just got to finish up these designs her- wait a minute, does that button look right?” *Proceeds to completely redesign the UI and add 8 more options.* etc, etc.

Point is, I need to stop adding stuff. I need a hard deadline.

So I'm working on a Gnome shell extension. Which is a nice integration wtih Todoist. It's far from done but it's starting to shape up.

From all projects and things I've done, this is a pain. There is almost no documentation so I'm almost entirely reliant on source codes of other extensions.

And yeah, stackoverflow isn't going to help you...

Fun project nevertheless :) Reminds me of the time I worked in WINAPI.

My Last few days:

Working on a new project I started few days ago. Decided to push to GitHub.

Working on setup python script a this project requires a little work to get up and running

Working on markdown files and docs.

Moves to working on the GitHub page.

Now I am working on a website for a project that isn even 10% done.

I don't have a "most painful error".

The real pain for me is the

WHY ISN'T THIS WORKING

I'VE DONE THIS 1000 TIMES BEFORE

THIS ISN'T HARD

THIS SHOULDN'T TAKE THIS LONG...

It's just the worst combo of events / feelings / leads to the hopeless depths of imposter syndrome and etc.

If I can, drop that what ever i'm working on and work on something else
if that's not an option painfully keep working on that, when i'm done or when the day ended reward myself by watching YouTube/rewatch a marvel tv show

Simple but effective.

Client: Can you lower that estimate?
Client: I know you’ve done, but can you make all this stuff behave this particular way on smaller screens, despite it not being in spec?

Me: *internal sigh* sure.

The perils of newly being a contractor and wanting to please.

At least I’m working from home and the money is good I suppose 😂

To all those working from home...
How do you keep yourself motivated to stick to a schedule?

I've been at this for 7 months now; it was great for the first 2 months, now I can't seem to get my ass together.

I still get my work done, but that's the problem.
Because I'm not motivated to stick to the schedule I've made, I'm chipping away at my non-work time to get the work done.

Any advice?

I hate React. I keep reading that people have problem of grasping it, but that's not the case for me. I get it, I understand it, but I hate with passion HOW it's done knowing how nice it's done elsewhere. What really triggers me is how ugly it looks, both from architecture and code level. To me it really say a lot when even code shown in documentation looks ugly, and while reading it you ask ourself constantly "why it's done this way?". When I read React being called an "elegant" solution something explodes in me. Did you saw Svelte? Vue? Damn, even Alpine.js?
I just cannot how overengineered this API is. Even doing simplest things there produces so much junk code written only because this is what library requires. Why? I feel like working with it is a punishment.
And scalability and maintainability? I've never seen large-scale projects more messed up than those wrote with React. And yes, you can blame teams working on them for lack of skills, but it is the library which encourages or not good practices also, and I've never seen such bad situation with other libraries/frameworks.

For the people working on small startups:

How do you keep updated on best practices, engineering, and all that when you're 24/7 focused on the startup (implementing, testing, fixing stuff)?

I feel like I love doing things the best way, but we always go with the "do fast, break fast" and it always feels like a mess because the engineering is done after a really small MVP is done (and after a long time usually).

I was hoping to be able to at least do a really small engineering part *before* starting anything new, but CEO always wants stuff done *yesterday*. But for this I think I should be reading more, and playing around with new patterns and all that, so at least I know out of the box what would be a good thing to start with and not having to change the entire project/script from scratch.

After working for 3 years as a dev , last month I bought my first Noise Cancelling Headphones (Sony xm3). Best decision in my life .
It blocks all the chatter/noise from open office and lets you focus. Now I can get shit done in the office itself with all the mfking monkeys (my esteemed colleagues) chirping around .

Best decision of my life 😅

MD came round and said thanks for pulling out the stops and working on stuff I never done to get projects done. nearly fell over.

working on google maps fixing functionality and here manager came and said: what have you done in 3 hours? why extra space between columns fix this padding stop whatever you doing, padding is important. -_-

That feeling when you're almost done with your personal project using an entirely new language and framework :)) been working on it for the last 2 weeks. 62 commits in!!

Me - "Talks to client about his deliverable"

Him - So when can we show a demo?

Me - On thursday we could show a totally working deliverable.

Him - "Really on thursday? i was hoping to get it done for tomorrow"

My mind - *Dude. do you even know how much time does it takes to finish the latest changes you just asked me today? i mean probably we could get it done if you weren't so cheap at the proposal, you know, when I told you we would take longer if i dropped the price. And I could have a couple more devs working here so we could had the finish product a week ago, and still we are on time... so WTH dude *

Me - No, sorry I wouldn't dare to show you a half baked demo. But ill try my best to show you before that day.

A dev's worst nightmare can be summed up as this:

"Working on updates
5% Progress
Don't turn off your computer"

So much for getting some work done tonight.....

Wk33:

Best experience of 2016 is probably just realising I'm a pretty good programmer. I have a physics undergraduate degree and a 1 year masters in CS, I'm working on back end algorithm stuff so pretty mathsy at times, but I've found from working with others that I write good quality code. I've still got lots to learn but I've got a solid foundation, am reading, learning and coding outside of work.

Worst experience of 2016 is working with people for whom it's purely a day job, only about the money, get things done in whatever hacky way works.

!Rant

CTO: "We have a project that is the top most priority get it done"
CTO: "We have some tickets logged for another project get them fixed this is of the highest priority"
CTO: "I want a new feature in another project I want this done now It is top priority!"
Next day, Client comes in CTO shows him around
CTO: "You are still working on this!"

... Arg, its as if the guy thinks giving something a top priority gets it done instantly

Two days into the new year and you got made redundant after working there!
Yeah cheers for that! Could done it last year.

Guess it's back to apply for jobs.
/rantover

Does anyone have experience in turning a website idea into a working business? I had a website idea so me and friend decided to make it happen. So far the development is going well, but we don't really know what's next after we're done. Does anyone know any resources regarding what's next? However to reach audience, investors and staff like that?

You're working on a project, your boss has set you tasks to complete. You complete all the tasks and make pull requests of all the work you've done. Your boss is busy and you don't know what to do next? What do you do? Is it unethical to work on personal projects in work hours, because you're not being paid for that? How do you find other stuff to do?

Well I figured out why my delete button wasn't working...

I'm so burnt out and ready for school and this capstone project to be done.

I am still working on it and it is far from being done, but a compiler.

What the f*** is this gradle in Android Studio??
M getting tired with this error. Whenever m starting studio it stuck on waiting for build to finish project.. I already done with checking offline work still it's not working.. What the f*** should I do with this error??

Don't fix what ain't broken.

Alright.. that might not be 100% what need to be done at times, as other out-of-scope things tend to break these things too.

Nevertheless, if you fix what ain't broken,be sure to have it working before you switch over.

Developer contract, day rate £500 in London or £400 remote working! WTF!
Does the agency/client seriously think they should pay less for the same work if done remotely? If anything, remote should pay more, it saves the client money and the remote worker will probably have more productive hours without the fucking shitty commute.

70 unred Mails, working on 4 different projects and having meetings the whole day to not get things done... I love mondays!

Anyone else working on projects to remove flash from their projects? Anyone not going to get it done in time? What are your work arounds?

Just got placed on a project to help remove flash from a proj and there's no way this is going to get done. I looked up when they announced deprecation and that was in 2017.

I find it laughable the company waited to the last minute to do this. Obviously they didn't deem this important enough to do ahead of time so I see no reason to work OT for someone else's poor planning.

Finishing my degree after moving to a foreign country alone, while also working as a dev part time.

I recently moved to another country and switched jobs, and even though I'm getting stuff done, I feel like I just don't deserve the job. It just feels surreal that I made it so far and it just feels like dumb luck sometimes.

"Hey Boss, the things you are asking for will take one year to develop. Replacing the complete UI with another is not an easy task for our software [due to not having MVC or any kind of code modularisation]."

"Yes, but it needs to be done until november"

"We don't even now the requirements, yet. This will force the complete team into weekend and night shifts, to even get a first working prototype done! From my team lead I expect to be defended against such things!"

"Yes, but I need to make money!"

...

Nothing shits me more than being interrupted every two hours for a "huddle". Shove your buzzword up your ass and fuck off so I can actually get some work done. What am I currently working on? The same fucking thing I was doing before you interrupted me again for a status update.

Assigning me to another project because my current project is soul crushing is only helpful if you ever let me stop working on the current one. Otherwise I just have a new set of meetings to attend where my only contribution is that I didn't get anything done, and probably won't today either.

So our Chief Test Engineer left the company because of overwhelming frustration and stress. We working on new stuffs so we test our partly done product with partly done test tool developed be another of our team. His successor started to drop most of the 3rd party tools and workflows and documentations to trash expect this one unfinished test software.
Now he wants that we add more features to this software so it can replace everything he trashed already: run tests, generate test reports, generate documentations and so on.
On top of that he organized a workshop to read all this software's source code together, understand how it's works so we can rewrite the whole software from scratch.
WHAT?!

I'm interning and working on something above my skill level and it works for the most part but I think I may have done it completely wrong for like the past week :') everyone is on paid vacation and I'm just sitting here like a baby bird with a broken wing

"halp"

Pls no anger if it doesn't do exactly what it is supposed to. I am frail.

That moment when you are working on a project that controls a electric circuit and realize, after the softwarepart is done, that the circuit doesn't work as it should :/

Err. I'm working on something this is a stupid question. But is there a way to save data and stuff without having to go into back end?

If not or if there is. What should I look into/learn to get it done without having to go too deep

This is how it works in my company:
-> Spend entire day in meetings - don’t get anything done.
-> Start working at 6pm if you want to get anything done.

Those who have gotten promotions are the ones that have bought into this system.
I guess I won’t be getting a promotion any time soon

Sick of fucking working with 'engineers' who cannot see that the piece of shit application that they have written is not 'done' until it has been tested. No it is not production fucking ready you fucking yes man.

Why must coming up with ideas be so fucking difficult, trying to work out names for variables and working out a file structure that makes sense for the SDK I'm working on is literally the only thing holding me back at this stage...

Ugh being a perfectionist and programmer is not a good mix .-.

EDIT: also just remembered of 2 YouTube series I want to make but can't think of a title so I haven't done them... Fantastic

Should've posted this on Monday:
Feeling good about myself.
Customer wanted a project prototype done until the 14th of this month. I had it ready and working by the 3rd.

Yippie. I'm apparently competent enough.
I'm gonna ask if I am allowed to put a screenshot with censored names and whatnot on my portfolio.

*Me sees ticket thinks its easy enough if done this kind of ticket before*

Opens up repo, does all FE, starts BE, okay should be easy open up the Model for this, oh...

Theres no model..

but how was this even working before o.0

I'm very much done with searching for this as I've been doing it for a trillion years and still don't have a goddamn good working example.

Does anyone know how one can properly render pbf tiles with a custom style in either leaflet or open layers?

Leaflet VectorGrid is a no go as it can't render any names (streetnames etc) and I can't fucking figure out how to use Leaflet VectorTileLayer.

Leaflet would be preferred as I've written everything with leaflet till now but anything working would be great 😬

So after 3 months of working ( which implies a 2h