So I picked up my nephew from his kindergarten and he told me that forks have round holes.
I laughed and said that forks don't have holes, otherwise the food would fall down through them.

It turs out that he was right and I was wrong.

Dev1: I started work at a new company.

Dev2: Cool, how is it?

Dev1: Well its ok... but they are a bit weird.

Dev2: How weird.

Dev1: Very weird, they round my pay to 1000 insted of 1024.

Dev2: Yeah weird.

Ahh, nice round numbers

"Welcome to everybody's favorite show: Did It Break!?!"

"Here's our first contestant, Alex Brooklyn!"

* Audience claps *

''Tell us Alex, what command did you use?!"

ls -la

"And did it break production?!"

Not yet..., the website is still up, even checked without cache and on a different network, I haven't had any calls in half an hour and Sentry reports nothing

"Great to hear! On to round 2!"

Ruby 2.3
1.5.round == 2
2.5.round == 3

Ruby 2.4
1.5.round == 2
2.5.round == 2

Have Fun!

At job interview.

Interviewer: Have you ever thought about why manhole covers are round?

Me: It's to accommodate different body shapes of sewer workers.

Interviewer: Hahah. It's actually so the covers wouldn't fall in.

Me: It used to be like that, but they changed it.

Interviewer: What? Who changed it?

Me: The lizard people!

Interviewer: What?!

Me: * cowers in corner and hisses *

Round 1: Fight

Mystery number strikes again for the third round.

Got an interview invitation from HR.

Accepted it without looking at the interviewee's profile (rookie mistake).

Finally looked at his profile. He was 5 times, 5 times more experienced than me. Had a STRONG resume.

Was under pressure a lot of pressure. I realized I was not at all suitable for being this guys interviewer.

Just one good thing. It was his first round and was going to be a telephonic round after which we were going to fly him down.

Clock ticked 6. Time for interview. More nervousness.

Called him. Guy picked up. Introduced myself. In a calm voice he says, he is busy with a very critical bug. Can we reschedule?

Now this will generally piss me off. But this time I was relieved 😅

Last round in Microsoft interview
HR: Do you have any questions for us.
Me: Thinks randomly and says. Do I get a Mac here for work.
HR: Let's stop interview here.

I fucking hate python and myself even more. Python is easy they say, Python has nice syntax but fuck you . Fuck you seriously I cringe if I see non-c-like syntax. Every time I leave my comfort zone I get fucked over by damn semicolons. Fuck this imports i don't know your damn library. But god damn In far too advanced for hello world. There are two versions and the lib I want to use is incompatible? Well fuck me? That kind of shit never hit me on PHP. Damn me! Fuck you python. I want to know you but you fuck me harder than life. GEHÖRT? DU FICKST MICH HÄRTE ALS DAS LEBEN DU HURENSOHN!!!!

What is even your problem? Indentation? Well thank you for not having braces! I mean come on I try, I really do. I know you are different but every thing I want to learn about you is either for uber beginners or so advanced I don't even know what's going on. Do magical shit in a few lines? What the fuck is in those packages? A wizard full filling whishes like "plz make this work"?

But don't worry you cum snorting unicorn as much as I hate you I'm more mad about me for not being a descendant of fucking slytherin!

Gf: Which way do you round 4.5 up or down?

Me: (int)4.5;

Gf: Ffs the proper way!

Me: Math.Round(4.5);

Gf: Fuck off.

Round 2 of unusual BIOS screens

finaly a round number.

thx all =)

Anyone know what this is?
Is it a bomb? (lol)

It was in front of one of the apartments i live in.

In a programming contest, I forgot how to round numbers in Java, an I needed a 3 number rounding, so I multiplied the number by 1000, then sum 0.5 and convert it to integer so the decimal part would be gone, finally, just print the number except the 3 last digits as a string, put a period and print the other 3 digits.
I must say I'm not proud of that.

Client: I want you to build me something, I'm not sure jet what is is exactly but it is supposed to be round and be able to fit on a car.

Me: you mean a wheel ?

Client: noooo, this is completely different and original idea like none has ever had.

This alone makes it worth it.

Fuck yeah!!! After five days of fiddeling round in assembly without any sort of tutorial finally, im there :)

have an interview in 20 mins, this is the last round.. new job has 80% salary hike compared to current .. wish me luck guys!!!

Starting next week I’m going to be a programming teacher.

Suck my nectar of wisdom!

Fuck off you disturbed snowflakes with your SJW bullshit.

I get it, words cause damage, but words taken out of context for emotional self pity is on you.

Ok I expressed my feelings on the matter, see you next year for the next round!

I started at a new company. I met tons of people the first day. Third day on the job a guy comes up to me and says hello. I’m like, “Hey. What’s up. Thanks for welcoming me look forward to working with you and etc. I’m still learning names. Se ya round. I should get back to work.” Totally like I would greet the janitor or anyone else.

He leaves and people tell me that he was the CEO. I kill myself laughing.

My finger slipped and instead of 64px I typed 63px.
The horror...
The horror...

Feeling like I've gone back in time about 15 years!

Just told my CTO about various improvements we could make to the development process. Things like git, continuous delivery, agile project management apps such as Jira, task management such as Gulp, etc.

His response - "never heard of them. I bet they'll pass in a few months. Just another round of fads".

--- Github unveils another round of pricing changes ---

In a move that slipped under the radar with some surprising ease, Microsoft-owned repo wrangler Github unveiled yesterday (7th January) a new set of changes to their pricing model. Unlike the last round of changes that saw unlimited private repos gracing anybody with $7 in their pocket each month - The new round sees everyone on the platform receiving unlimited private repos in a move that's been met with some serious scepticism from the community.

The company's surprisingly brief PR emission (via their official blog) states that they've made 2 major changes, "Github Free now includes unlimited private repositories" - the catch being that you're limited to adding 3 collaborators, which appears to be a move aimed squarely at businesses attempting to operate without forking over the cash for an organisation.

In addition to this there's many vague statements about the kinds of scenarios that "are now possible" via "Github free", the kind of vague nonsense that makes trousers considerably tighter in the PR department.

It would appear that anyone who was previously paying the $7 a month is now a "Pro" user, The PR emission states that "Github Pro (formerly Github Developer) and Github team are also available for developers and teams who need professional coding and collaboration features".

It doesn't seem like you're being offered a whole lot for your $7 a month anymore - a move that would be considered by almost any other company in tech as a good thing, but given that it's Microsoft has been met with warranted suspicion and concern.

Or we could just be being a set of Donny Downers about it, who knows shrug

Whoever said that money makes the world go round was wrong, it's Linux. ;)

Finally got myself a pebble. I love it so far 😍

Got a 2 level promotion today.. I am now an architect!

I worked in a BPO, throughout my engineering degree(yes I'm Indian), only to end up with mediocre grades. To think of it I gave up on this industry even before my first interview.. My friends forced me to the interview and made sure I sit through each round. Now I'm the fastest growing individual in an organization of 45000 people. Fuck!

When your team has no time to address technical debt/infrastructure improvements but we need to make that square checkbox round immediately.

Good fucking lord, what has Google done to Chrome mobile 😱💩💩💩

Want to play some Tic Tac Toe? Letting my bot go for a good first round of public testing
Probably will break right away.. Who knows :D
For starters limiting to one simultaneous game. Have fun!

Gets to the final round and performs really well :

You performed really great, but we don't want developers now :) thank you for participating.

About to walk into a second round job interview. It will take my commute from an hour and a half to 15 minutes, be a much larger scale company and teams, with actual schedules and communication. I might actually cry if I get it.

Once again, the earth has accomplished the 30th full round since I was born.

++age;
officiallyOld = true;

Does it ever circle round back and somehow get real fast?

## 4 years ago:
- Principal Architect: We are using IO1 storage type. What if we used GP2?
- Perf team: IDK, let's test it!
*we run tests*
- Perf team: results are OK, but we're exhausting Burst IO capacity, effectively hard-limiting number of tests we can run per day
- PArch: ahhh, I see. Then Gp2 is a no-go.

## 3 years ago
*PArch quits. New one is hired*
- PArch2: We are using IO1 storage type. What if we used GP2?
- Perf team: We've already tested that a while ago, results were THIS and THAT
- PArch2: I see. Let's test it again anyway
- Perf team: *wtf???*
*we run the same tests, we get the same results*
- PArch2: I see, so GP2 is a no-go.
- Perf team: *you think....? How did that thought never cross our minds, we wonder...*

## 2 years ago
*new DBA is hired*
- DBA2: We are using IO1 storage type. What if we used GP2?
- Perf team: We've already tested that a while ago, results were THIS and THAT
- PArch2: We've already tested that a while ago, results were THIS and THAT
- DBA2: I see. Let's test it anyways. I've read somewhere that GP2 might be a better bet
- PArch2: you might be right, let's do that
- Perf team: *wtf???*
*we run the same tests, we get the same results*
- DBA2: I see, so GP2 is a no-go.
- Perf team: *you think....? How did that thought never cross our minds, we wonder...*

## 1 year ago
*DBA manager left; new one was hired*
- MGMT_dba2: We are using IO1 storage type. What if we used GP2?
- ........

Should we even bother bringing up the history.....?

At a job interview.

Them: Can you please write a function that calculates fibonacci numbers on the whiteboard please.

Me:

fib=_=>($=>$.round(($.pow((1+$.sqrt(5))/2,_)-$.pow(-2/(1+$.sqrt(5)),_))/$.sqrt(5)))(Math)

junior developer position:

You must know:
HTML
CSS
JavaScript
React
Vue
Angular
Java
PHP
C
C++
Ruby on Rails
Python

Computer Science degree required
Expect a 10 round interview process

And if you're still alive after that,
You're hired!

Apply now!

I asked a question at stackoverflow related to MySQL. I tried to explain everything a good as I could.

Now i go for a cigarette and expect a -5 when I come back....

Look what I got for £2 from a car-boot sale! So fun to watch the little wheel spin round

I got the job! 🥳 🎉

One company wanted me to wait a little over a week because they had other final round interviews going on. Meanwhile, during that time, I got an offer, but declined because of lower than expected salary and higher salary on the other potential offer. Later, they got back and increased the salary and changed the role to Lead. Got the role after one more round of interview. 😁

Have you guys heard about blind coding?

I had been to competition, first round was quiz.
That was quite easy, though most of the questions were incomplete and didn't make any sense.

They have provided an app. We use that to check the result.

So first round is over, 1 hour later my friend called me asked whether I'm qualified for the next round . I checked the results and my name wasn't there. I was very disappointed.

I left that place after I saw my result. I got a bus which goes to my place.

After 10 minutes, I got a call from the event head asking why I didn't attend second round 😑. I asked why name wasn't there on the result, for which he replied with "database updatation error".

I got down in the next stop and took a bus again to that place.

I reached there, second round was started, First part was debugging. It was easy, I debugged the given program and got the desired output.
Second part was coding. A guy showed a problem to solve and told me to read it quickly . I did as he told.
He opened Dev C++ and gave me a paper to write the program .

When I was about to start typing, he turned off the monitor and told I should write it on paper first and type the program having monitor turned off. 😨

I wrote and typed the program without seeing.
After 30 minutes a college lecturer came to give marks. He told me to compile the program.

TBH, there were many typing mistakes. As header file spelling was wrong it showed only one error.

Him: Huh, cool only one error, well done. *noted that and walked to a guy next to me*

2nd round of the interview, we talked kinda a lot, but I don’t know if I answer well to the question

Searching for a lib.
Find it on google code.
Moved to github.
No commit in 5 years.

Only 2 more to a round number!

I was asked to map a mathematical problem to an algorithm for first round of interview. I did it in 5 lines with O(n) and it worked. was told that was not the correct answer sent me an answer with O(n^2) and about 40 lines. in anger, I sent a five page mathematical proof along with analysis why mine was better. surprisingly, they took me in for second round. tanked it because I continually stuttered and froze. I was able to answer it once I got home. decided against sending it.

I've been encountering a problem in my personal projects code weeks.
fast forward to today, and i'm sat enduring a wedding.
Out of no where the soultion hits me and I spend the next 25 minutes running round asking for napkins, so I can write the soultion on said napkins with a kids crayon.

Work. Never. Stops.

Just wanted to share what I got for Christmas. It's a Ruger 10/22 Limited Edition TALO. :3

Also got a 15 round magazine to replace the California legal 10 round, because fuck California! :3

This made me laugh so hard

Another gold one.

But remember only 500€

How could I ruin such a perfect, round number?

Me: Decentralized, Transparent, Immutable, Trustless ...
Host: Please give a big round of applause for Blockchain industry expert!

Finals for the Belgian Olympiad in Informatics in an hour. I'm stressed. Had the second best score in the first round so pressure is on

Got rejected after final-round interviews with Amazon again. Can’t say it doesn’t hurt, but I understand it.

So to make myself feel better, I started working on the idea I’ve had for a while that I realize is going to be a huge time sink and silly, but I love it.

Worst interview rejection?
I've got one. It was for a pretty good e-commerce company.
*It was 4th and final round*
Interview panel: If you were to implement the bidding kind of feature in our website/app like eBay has, how would you do it? Explain both HLD and LLD

Me: *Started selling my shit*

Panel: Did you ever bid for something on eBay?

Me: No

Panel: I'll get in touch with you. You can leave now.
😎

Note to self: if you work on a logo concept that you know it won't work and it's hard to implement/loses meaning in monocolor, don't show it to your client as part of the first round of concepts.

Because that's the one they'll choose.

Last week, a company(start-up) came for campus recruitment.

This company was known for its long working hours, giving unrealistic deadlines to the employees, less recreational activities, etc.

Even though the pay was very good, some of them were there just to experience the interview process. All those waiting for the HR round, were half-hearted into the process.

This particular guy(a friend of mine) was so determined to be rejected from the company, that he intentionally screwed up his interview (final round).

Towards the end of the interview, the HR asked him to draw a map/path from his hostel to the building in which the interview was being taken.

Once my friend finished making the figure, the interviewer said “Take this same path, and get back to your hostel”.

SAVAGE!

Even though he was successful in getting rejected, the way he got rejected really crushed his ego.

My interview,

Introduction round.
Basic information round.
General Aptitude test.

Technical round 1
Technical round 2

Telephonic round
Telephonic technical round

And now i asked them for the results of my interview.
They told me to arrange another FUCKING TECHNICAL ROUND.

WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON.
IT'S BEEN FUCKING 2 MONTHS SINCE I'M GIVING INTERVIEWS..

I'm literally exhausted. And it looks like they are completing their project for free.

I had a manager who scolded me in me in public on a non-IT floor because I used child classes and overloading of methods which "is too hard to read". Instead use "lots of ifs and else's". This is the guy that had a JSP so large (be cause he had so many ifs) that it couldn't be compiled even on a server.

The best karma happened a few months later. I was looking for a new job (wonder why?) and was very deep in the interview process - like round 5- of company A. I got talking to this jackass, who had no idea I was interviewing, said "yeah I applied to company A once. Couldn't get past the first round. Great benefits, though.". Me getting the job a week later was the best thing ever.

"The first round will be this 4 hour coding challenge..."

Yeah no.

-Give me one reason to start programming!
-I can easily give you 1024 reasons...

Turns out Google round off the answer automatically, just like that, no side note, nothing, just round off.

I just read two rants with round about 40 fucking inside.

No I feel better after a fucking shit day.

Want to say thank you for your fucking good rants.

👍😁

So my parents got speakers integrated into their monitor. A few years ago (like 3-4) they made me turn off the sound because it annoyed them since all they did were playing some shitty flash games and some office work. Now they needed the sound back on and this is how it happened.

1. Confirm they plugged the right cable in. I know them so I knew that could be a problem

2. Made them download Teamviewer because I know they can't even doubleclick without guidance

Now the juicy part was to tell them they need to turn on sound on the monitor. As I was watching via teamviewer I saw them trying to click on the menu items from said monitor. Took me 5 minutes to explain that their mouse can't do shit on that because they need to navigate with the buttons underneath the monitor.

Turned out they couldnt get things right and I had no idea what they were seeing because they explanations went like "All I can see is Main Menu and Exit." - "Is that really all dad?" "Yes thats all. Main Menu, Brightness and Exit" turnes out the middle part is interchangable like "Brightness, Saturation, etc..."

After 2 hours I gave up and told them to pick up my speakers tomorrow

I was going to be a wizard for Halloween, but since I am expected to perform magic year round at the request of clients, I might change it up for one night of the year.

Blamed team member for writing unmaintainable code. Turns out it was the other way round.

Please understand the three types of brackets are parenthesis,curly brackets and square brackets
Respect the parenthesis! They aren't "ROUND BRACKETS"

Yepp.. The older you get, the faster the time flies by. Remember how long days used to be when you were 10? How much you used to do then? And now? You barely skim through your emails and it's already lunch time.. And soon after that it's already time to go home, go to sleep. And the next day is the same. Round robin, round robin... And when you think that the pooft-you're-gone moment is approaching faster and faster every year, you wonder what are you leaving behind, to remember you by.. A few dev projects that will drown to oblivion a few years after you're out, a few modules in other projects that will live longer but your code lines will soon be overwritten and forgotten in git's history, where noone ever scrolls to. Your own projects you have never released. Your fam who will remember you until their grandchildren - after that older generations are forgotten...

What is it that will keep people saying your name after you're gone? What significant have you given to the life?

Round of applause for Mozilla... First they fire over 200 employees and now this bullshit...

Instead of making business cards, I bought small index cards. The first time ‘round, I carefully taped four or five together with chalkboard tape and then wrote on them with gold pen. Now I’m just using the index cards and black pen since the reaction to that in person’s been positive. What do you guys think? Are people just humoring me in person?

A developer asks his friend for a loan: 'please give me 1000 $...'
Friend: sure, here, take 1024 so its round.

I sincerely like the moment, when i train a newbie to code .NET showing him/her how far OOP in .NET goes.

I love to give the following example:
var s = "round and round it goes";
s = s.ToString().ToString().ToString().ToString().ToString().ToString().ToString().ToString().ToString().ToString().ToString().ToString().ToString().ToString().ToString().ToString().ToString().ToString().ToString().ToString().ToString().ToString().ToString().ToString().ToString().ToString().ToString().ToString().ToString().ToString().ToString().ToString().ToString().ToString().ToString();

And yeah. It's totally fine.
Because each component of .NET is inherited of object. And the class object supports you with the function "ToString()".

After that, in most of the cases, i get a slightly irritated look from the newbie.
Than i say, "welcome to Microsoft" ;)
I finally add, that the compiler of .NET finally identifies duplicate results and refactores the given code before execution ^^

Coding Is fun, as long as you get the big picture/concept of the language you're using.

Me: *Gives second round in an interview, didn’t go as expected, waits for the result (at this moment we can’t go further with your profile kinda result)*

HR: *calls after 2 weeks* Hi, hope you’re doing good, your last round was declared CNS (Candidate no show)

Me: was it this bad, that the guy interviewing me simply wiped off my existence?

HR: let me figure out something. *Calls back after 5 mins* since it was a no show, we’ve decided to not go with your profile further.

Me: 🥲 it didn’t have to be this brutal of a rejection

09:54 I'll get out of bed soon
09:55 let's round it to 10
10:00 ok let's wait till 0 turns into 1
10:01 hmm that number doesn't look convincing to get out of bed
10:03 ok let's round it at 05 and then get up
10:05 that's not even a good number let's round to 10
10:10 actually i like 30 more this is the last one
10:30 honestly we're halfway there so let's round to 11 and then get out for real this time
10:47 fell asleep
12:18 woke up

truly what fucking dev team doesnt have source control, but its still funny lmao

Really hate being a developer sometimes, as soon as people find out what sort of Dev you are; they begin associating you with known successes and their personality...

I'm a game developer that works in 2D so I get thrown in the basket as being obsessed with Japan, have outlandish hair and am just an all round wanker.

Stereotypes can really bring you down sometimes...

1. Apply to as mant jobs as possible daily on dice/linkedin/indeed
using keyword resumes customized by scrapping

2. Filter out low-effort crap companies and filter out recruiters.

3. Post "dice/indeed/linkedin daily decrapified."

Tada! Fewer time-wasters during the job hunt.

4. Bonus: turn into a search engine.

5. Daily double round: turn crap listings and quality listings into AI training sets. Incorporate into search engine.

If industry can use bullshit hiring filters, we can use application filters!

2 leetcode hard questions in 60 mins. That's what I faced in few company interviews. Trust me, if that's the expectation you're having from candidate, you're looking for a leetcode monkey but not a software engineer!

To the interviewers who have such unrealistic expectations, please change your mindset. It's literally impossible to come up with optimal solutions to 2 leetcode hards in 60 mins if I haven't solved those problems before! It just becomes a memorization game not a problem solving round!!!

:)

I'm so easily distracted...
Set my self the target of planning a project and then doing a straight Hackathon while writing the most optimised code I can while programming.

Long story short.. Ended up sellotaping a lazer pen to my cats collar and watched her chase her self round the house.
Very productive day.

I was just about to post on here asking for a final round of beta testers for my web app before launch, and just before I hit “post” I thought of a massive issue.

FUCKING CUNTSTICK

I only went and left my god damn bag on the train with my work laptop in it (2016 Macbook Pro, started this job 2months ago...). Now I have to get up at 5 fucking 30 am to make a 5 hour round trip to collect it while making up a BS excuse to WFH, or more accurately - work from some cafe in a random city 200 miles away. FML

A big shout out to all the polyglot developers out there who understand that languages and frameworks are just tools with trade offs.

May we always evaluate thoroughly and choose the best tool for the job at hand.

Cheers 🍻

Bonus Round:

What tools are you currently wielding while reading this rant?

Dark theme vs Light theme ranters
*** Round 1 ***
Light theme ranters attack

Going for the second round of coffee.

Thereby sleep for tonight has been canceled.

Stop rounding the corners of content!!!!! Round corners are meant for buttons!!!! Not my fucking video!!!!

So we have been wondering tonight. Does this have a better name then round pointy slide navigation controls?

Marketing sends an average of 3 newsletter per week all year round, and 4-5 per week on Christmas.
Mailchimp makes this so damn easy for them...

We have ~500.000 subscribed customers.

They discovered the new chrome push notifications API and I 'refused' to build anything for it because I already find the amount of email they send unacceptable and I am pretty sure they would abuse of it.
I'm already imagining like 10 push messages a day...

Am I wrong? What would you do?

Took me a week to find and fix my bug!! 😃😃 A round of apple juice on me!!

Recently attended a final stage interview. So far probably spent 60% of the time discussing my previous roles/experience - (sigh) Then along comes the "Core Java" questions. FINALLY!! My chance to really shine.

Q: How do you make an object a singleton?

I give my answer, thinking this is the ice breaker question and ready for the next question...

Nope, thats it! Apart from the automated tech test in the previous round, my entire tech ability is measured by whether I can memorise a design pattern!

Can we just give a round of applause to the brilliant recruiters that decided to add Microsoft Word as a requirement.

You know...to weed out all the computer illiterate software engineers......

I love walking round in a facemask cause people always gimme a "wtf" look like im a criminal and also wordpress is a fucking joke lmao

This is getting annoying.

For the past >half a year I've been chasing windmills. This is what my BAU day looks like:

- We login to client's network
- We start running some Sanity tests before the actual runs (actual runs are hell of an expensive (financially and time-wise) thing to launch) to make sure environment is OK.
- Sanity tests fail. wtf? Nothing's been changed since y-day!
- Spend ~3-4 hours digging logs, code, more logs,... Apparently some genius decided to change a single parameter.
- Spend another 1-2 hours trying to work around that parameter (since apparently that genius did have a task to do that, so we'll most likely have to find a way to live with it)
- Restart the whole env (~30min).
- Launch a Smoke, Sanity tests to verify env state.
- Launch the actual test
- Go home.

Next day:
- We login to client's network
- We start running some Sanity tests before the actual runs to make sure environment is OK.
- Sanity tests pass.
- Run the actual test
- Concurrency on RDS database is sky-rocketing! WTF did that come from??? Nothing's been changed since y-day!!
- Spend ~1-2 hours looking for anything changed, dig some logs for anything unusual. Nothing.
- Escalate to DBA. 2 hours later DBA says "fix the app". thanks for nothing mate....
- Spend remaining 2 hours analysing AWR. Give up, restart the whole RDS instance. Another hour wasted.
- Time to go home. Out of curiosity run Sanity test -- all good. Run the actual test -- all good. wtf??
- Go home

Next day
- We login to client's network
- We start running some Sanity tests before the actual runs to make sure environment is OK.
- Sanity tests fail. wtf? Nothing's been changed since y-day!
- Spend ~3-4 hours digging logs, code, more logs,... Apparently some genius decided to change a single parameter.
- Spend another 1-2 hours trying to work around that parameter
- ..... I think you know where this is going.

And this keeps going on and on, day by day. Spending the better half of the day chasing windmills and doing our actual work on the last hour of the working day or even after that.

We have plenty of interesting tasks in our Jira but we're squirels spinning in the wheel and never being able to touch them.

It feels like I'm wasting my time. I could do so much more with my time!

[just needed to vent ]

After the technical round, HR to me. Do you have a girlfriend? If not why? People in your age probably have one.

When you find out the last 3 hours of your life has been wasted finding that some numbskull confused the Round method with the Random method in the currency conversion logic

Phone call with customers and their minutes-of-meeting writer.
Me: Blabla round robin algorithm.
Customer's MoM writer: What? How do you spell "robin"?
Me: Robin like in Batman.
Customer's MoM writer: Ah, ok.

Boss: Use the same template that site [X] is using for this project.
Me: [X] is WordPress. Our project is asp.Net/C#. I can't
Boss: Why?
Me: You can't put a round peg in a square hole!
Boss: Why?
Me: [thinking about mortgage] I'll do it.
Boss: Why didn't you say so in the first place?
Me: [die a little inside]

Today I celebrate nice round birthday 100000b. There will not be another one like this for 32 years.

The Setting:

Ola Cabs (One of the biggest competitors of Uber, for those who don’t know) comes to college to recruit software devs:

✅ Pre-placement talk

Now time for the aptitude/code round. Hackerearth used as the solution to run the test and compile code, as well as check the result immediately. Or so I thought.

3 programming questions, 2 hours.

The problem:
Me: *Write the code for the first question* (and I know it’s correct)

Me: Clicks “Compile and run”

Compiler: *Compiling*

*LITERALLY ONE FUCKING HOUR LATER*

Compiler: *Still compiling*

Hackerearth. What a fucking joke. Though the course of the HOUR I waited, I kept questioning the recruiter head from Ola and his response was:

Recruiter: “Try the other program, it’s possibly a problem with your code. I’ll check at my backend also, hold on.”

YOU FUCKING DIMWIT. MY CODE IS PERFECT AND EVEN IF IT WASN’T IT WOULDN’T TAKE MORE THAN A MINUTE (If you’re factoring in absolutely worst cases) TO COMPILE THIS SMALL ASS FUCKING PROBLEM’S CODE.

In the meanwhile I even coded one of the other remaining questions’ solution and the shit still didn’t work.

At the end of the 2 hour time limit, I’d finished code for all 3, the recruiter stops us all from coding and says:

Recruiter: “Just submit your code, we will evaluate it and get back to you.”

Like fucking hell, asshole.

*One hour post interview*

EVERYONE who attempted the aptitude code round (At least 30 of us) receive messages on our phones:

“Unfortunately you did not clear the aptitude round and we will not be able to take your application forward.”

FUCK YOU OLA. IN ONE FUCKING HOUR YOU “EVALUATED” ALL OF OUR CODE? FUCK YOU HACKEREARTH FOR YOUR SHIT FUCKING EXECUTION OF A “SOLUTION”. Maybe test your own fucking product before offering a solution to companies.

Fucking lost opportunity.

almost a year ago, i have no idea of what i was doing at work cause everything was new: coding languages, databases, clients, co-workers, etc. i had 0 experience and i am back here again on devRant after 3836382 years and i am proud to say i've learnt so much and have been promoted to Project Manager. im happy asf and i am now ready for another round of dev rants!

i led yesterday's daily, since PM had no time and asked me to replace him.

in the beginning, i started the round with exactly the same words the PM always used, which made one of the Indian colleagues burst into laughing with muted mic

daily was held.
after the daily, 3 colleagues thanked me and commented on how awesome daily was, which made myself burst into laughter.

my theory is that people like daily standups where they are not steamrolled, interrupted and snapped at all the time.

Today I dropped and updated a database to override it with local changes. Turned out the same dB was used by another project.

I just destroyed a week worth of work and content.

Good thing I took a dump before dropping everything. Got it running in 5 Minutes

If you are selling something for a charitiy: Implement a "round up" button! Let's say someone buys something for 19$, add the possibility to round up the amount to 20$. Surprisingly a lot of people make use of it :-)

I don't want to sound ethnocentric but is anyone else annoyed by having to correct the spelling of variable, class, table name, and other code after it was built overseas? I'm in a third round of combing consecutively deeper into the code to ferret out these misspellings so they don't go into production. Is it too much to ask that the freelancer who says he speaks and writes native English not then turn that work over to a subcontractor who clearly does not?

Is it just my random madness...

Or do you sometimes picture yourself in a fictional comic / movie / whateva...

Had this feeling today.

Burned a database down, grilled 2 terabyte of data, deleted ~ 500 elasticsearch indices.

Then I chopped an haproxy loadbalancer into 6 seperate machines, because noone likes to read ~ 2.5 to 3 k of lines.

And I guess now I'm doing some backups of elasticsearch before the second round of flamethrower madness starts.

It's somehow very satisfying to just destroy everything.

I had 5 round of detailed technical interviews on java, springboot, React and Google Cloud.

Finally it seems they are going to make me an offer.
Last conversation was with the team I should work with.

They use dot.net, AWS and maybe maybe some angular.

I wann cry.
I'll say yes anyway.
Maybe the idea is to get some new perspective from me?
Or they want to be sure they will be better than me?

Or otherwise, fuck them?

Correcting basic programming exam, see this part of an answer:

---
for round in all_days:
if round+1 < round:
---

Web development is the worst!
I still cannot understand why it is not possible for browsers to correctly support all official specs... Exceptions here and there, dirty fix for this one, add a little margin here, hide this...
The daily struggle never stops.
Don't even get me startet with PHP!
Next round is on me ;)

So my uncle just bought an old hp server round that he didn't use at work anymore and I have no fucking clue what to do with it 😂

Everytime I want to use a well recommended library which last commit was two years ago or longer i get suspicious

Sad I commented too much to have only round numbers
[Expand to see]

The cultural fit round. The very first round. Got rejected multiple interviews because of failing this round

finally...a nice round number of ++, hopefully they use more than an unsigned 8 bit otherwise I'm gonna overflow after this post! :P

So my real name is jason and I got the habit to use Json as my nickname as a little Dev pun.

I think I overdid it

Had my first interview for a part time Php job at a student company at my school yesterday.
If I have to guess, it all went pretty well.
Let's hope I make it to the second interview round 😁

Just drove 50 minutes round trip for a 5 minute IT meeting #shouldhavebeenanemail

In the land of Kangaroos you can claim education expenses directly related to your profession on your tax return. I am developing a plug-in for X-Plane. Do you guys think I can claim costs of my flying school as "education to better understand flight characteristics so that my plug-in works better"?

For anyone who's interested, I'm building a six pack using round LCD displays and an Arduino

I'd been considering buying a stress ball, but never quite got round to it (don't see myself contributing a 500+ worthy rant). Then I saw this and now I have a dilemma. If only I had a stress ball to squeeze while I decide...

We where designing next generation of standard PC platform. In the project we wanted to have input from different teams, what was important to them and it was the representative from Human Resourse to speakup,
"I would like to have round bobbles", it took us a while to figure out that he wanted, he wanted to change the shape of all dialog boxes.......
HR has often strange ways if looking at things.

A few years back, I was a newly hired developer visiting the corporate HQ in NYC. We went to lunch, where the execs ordered a round of drinks.

I commented that drinking during the work day was an odd practice in my experience. The CEO jokingly explained how it made going home to his wife at the end of the day easier (or something to that effect). “You know what I mean?”

To which I reply (with no hint of irony): “No… My life loves me.”

😎

I'm giving these out to the trick or treaters, do you think they'll be happy? They say that knowledge is worth more than sweets in my country!

Ok that's nice and all Google but how about you fix the fucking UI, laggy interfaces, janked and half baked tablet mode and just all round fix what you broke from chromeOS 70 onwards?

You know.. make sure things are stable before pretty?

When you put the USB plug in the right way round...on the first try!

Was asked to go to interview at an anti virus company. Looking someone with extensive Amazon aws experience. Told them I had none, company was aware and wanted to see me anyway. 3 separate interviews to go through; Got through round 1 and round 2 of the interviews got rejected at round three because u didn't have aws experience!!!! Like wtf..... Why waste my time like that!!

The other day I went back to my college representing the company that I work for interviews of Freshers. Since I was taking interviews of my immediate juniors, I knew that every candidate’s major is Computers Applications, and we had sent out a JD ‘specifically’ mentioning that we need Devs, so tech people only.
We interviewed 40 people for first round in total out of which 12 were shortlisted for second round (we made them write some code).
Out of 12, 8 straight up refused to write the code saying they weren’t interested in coding at all (even professionally). Made me boil up so much, someone else, much more deserving and willing could have been in their place and may even have the job. But us humans are always cunts.

I was on a interview two weeks ago, got a mail today that I had been selected to the third round (government intel stuff)

I got clean sheet from the police and the "Security Service" in the country.

And now, in the mail. The recruiter wanted me to give contacts to my current boss. I am one of 4 and I dont want to sacrifice the trust that my boss have on me.

What the '''' should I do?

No offense, but if you're expecting 0 and not -80, then you know you're using floats.... Are there really devs that don't know what floating point round off is?

It’s funny being on the other side of interviews. People say how complicated it is to get a job, and it is. But then they show up to a third round Senior Software Engineer technical interview and is unable to write a function on the white board in any language or even pseudo code to reverse a string. That isn’t complicated stuff...

Argh, very frustrating.

So I went through the first round Google interview process and was declined for not "finishing fast enough" even though I did in fact solve the problem in the allotted time.

Either it's a BS excuse and they were just interviewing me to interview me for a quota or there is some invisible time limit that I am not aware of.

Really annoys me when I just don't know exactly what I'm doing wrong and instead get what feels like cop out answers.

I'm so tired I just wrote
background-color: round;
and I still have homework…

still happy though, I just got my first domain!

The hypetrain has no brakes...

Thank you to everyone who voted! STRIFE came first place in this weeks round! See you all in the finals :)

We're getting done with SidTheITGuy's bachelor party where we auctioned him off.

Before it was through, the lucky winner who snagged him at the bachelor-auction had already sold him to another, gotham's most mysterious tech heiress, looking to do a mezzanine funding round on her relationship status:

Meet, Ms. Planky Le Planche, the new fiance of SidTheITGuy:

Built my avatar just now... Just imagine this guy but more round lol

Honestly so fucking excited, been going through the application process to start a (UK) level 4 apprenticeship and I am through to the last round! Got my last interview with the programming team in January when I'll know if I got it or not.

Feels like I'm battling anxiety lately. Always tons of projects to work on and they seem so easy, but getting round to them feels harder and harder. Anyone else have this issue? How do you deal with it. Cigar seems to have helped today...

my goal for 2018 is to find out which way round the more/less than symbols go

Have a coding round for job tommorow!
Feeling scared and nervous !!!!!!!!!!!!

For the first time apart from Data Structures and Algorithms, there was a Machine Coding round where they asked me to create a small app using any language without data persistence or GUI, to see my code designing ability, LLD, code quality, whether I can implement OOP and write modular code and to see how extensible my code will be.

I did well.

Can someone explain to me what sort of recruitments logic is this?

Me after giving interview: so when can i expect to get a call back about my results?

Recruiter: within a day or two. Definitely before X.

A few weeks after X...

Me: so, any update?
Recruiter: yes. Are you available now for the next round?

Me: .... Couldn't you have said that earlier???!! (in my mind)

That moment when your server is so messed up you can only blame the devil.

So you throw away your stupid atheism, begin believing in jesus and you do an exorcism on your server.

You server still sucks, it's obviously because earth is flat and the instruction set of the CPU is meant for a round earth that never existed...

Making a Hackintosh - Round 2

Also, Linux is love, Linux is life. But if I have to choose my secondary OS between Windows or macOS, I would rather have macOS. And I know about Mojave existence, but I'm stuck with High Sierra due to the lack of Nvidia drivers on Mojave

My LinkedIn is usually pretty quiet. Recently I've received quite a few messages from recruiters. Some of them put numbers in and I look at them, well, the market looks hot.

I like where I am but doesn't hurt to have a look around eh? So I went through some interviews and shit. No preps, not trying to please anyone, being completely honest. And out of the 3 I tried, 1 got to the final round.

Before the final round, the recruiter kept harassing me (it's their job really) about what my "bottom line" is. She said they really liked me but I'm not up to their expectation as a senior role. So they want to proceed with a non-senior role, then climb my ladder up. I told her, I don't give a shit about the title. The she said for that, the salary will be "adjusted" (reads reduced). I told her, look, I said I wouldn't bother if the offer is anything less than X amount of money. Then she said but this company would offer 10% bonus, which will add up , mind you, "close to" X. She said she wanted to know so we don't waste the director's time (as the final round is to meet the bloody director).

I said, if I need to disclose my bottom line before going to this, which is pretty much my negotiation, then let's call it off. No point wasting my time either.

The next day I received the last call from her. They fucked right off.

I know everyone here already knows. But let me experience be another example of how a plague recruiters is. I don't have any experience like this before but this is probably a fucking lowball case too.

IDK why our teachers make us write code on paper when we have cool, fancy IDEs with auto correct 🙃 I think they are preparing us for job interview coding rounds from class 12 onwards😂😂

F for those who miss a semi-colon and the teachers gives a round zero😂

I think at Apple they only hire software engineers that only worked with Apple computers before and therefore have no idea what good software is, turning their product with each hiring round into an ever larger layered vicious circle of shit better known as macOS.

Person 1 to me: Website C needs this update.

Me: I don’t maintain that site. I only maintain websites A and B. I don’t know who does maintenance for your site.

Person 2 to me: Website D needs this update.

Me: I only maintain websites A and B.

Person 3 to me: Website E needs this update.

Aaaahhhhh 😫😡

New side project just started, node_module weights 135 mo.

By the way, Bootstrap 4 and its thousands of depencies should suck a round of cocks

confession time:
I am php laravel developer with little knowledge about nodejs.
I got selected by one startup as nodejs developer.
frankly I am not better nodejs developer than my competition who were rejected.

I completed oral interview with my nodejs theory knowledge at a time of technical round , they gave us task to create crud with fantastic front end and nodejs mongo as a back end.

I developed front end in bootstrap but at a time of backend, I just copy paste code from github.

and changed everything variable and other proof to hide reality. in mean time other candidates were actually coding everything then I took time to understand this code and I submitted after few candidates.

in last round they ask me to explain code which I explained properly and I get salary 40k/month INR.

I know it is cheating but I wanted this job badly.

I have already accepted another internship offer.

I just received a far better offer.

And somehow I made it to the final interview round for my dream company.

Oh simple

-get idea
-think it's Great
-fiddle around
-research it
-done multiple times
-bail

A few years ago I worked at company specialized in Magento(eCommerce) and Magento was changing their licensing model. At the time they had 3 Versions. Community(free), Pro and Enterprise.

They decided to ditch Pro and either make all migrate to Enterprise(with a discount) or go community which wasn’t really compatible. So some shops were in need of a more or less complete rewrite.

My hdd crashed literally the day before but hey no big deal everything is 99% done and on staging. So I had a Trainee at that Time and thought the last few crappy things could be done in pair programming so he can learn a few things.

But fuck him! That motherfucker! He managed to WIPE the staging server and no that was at a time without gut and no SVN. That dipshit just deleted 2 months of work because he thought it was a good idea to SYNC his empty project to the staging system.

Oh god I nearly stabbed him. He did that shit out of his own mind even though I told him a dozen times what would happen... we had to do the whole thing again with me sitting next to him watching every stroke he made.

Guess he learned something while inward silently raging the next weeks.

I put six round LCDs inside a 13x18 IKEA frame and turned it into a six pack for my home made flight simulator instead of buying the Saitek/Logitech one which would cost at least six times.

Not the question itself, the attitude was the problem.

I didn't solve the problem that they gave me, and struggled for a while (I ended up solving it an hour after the interview).

Their attitude was that they were both sitting on their computers working and not paying attention to me.

That was disrespectful and stupid. Interviews are also about figuring out whether you can work with the person being interviewed, not just their tech chops. They completely missed the opportunity.

I went to round 2 which was the same. Didn't go for round 3.

MD came round and said thanks for pulling out the stops and working on stuff I never done to get projects done. nearly fell over.

Today was my first time being on the other side of the table during an interview! Still felt a bit nervous, to be honest lol. It was the second round, and I got to present our stack and talk about what we're working on etc. Long story short, the candidate left a great impression and received an offer. I hope it works out! 😊

Round and round, and round round.

Hi everyone, I'm a now second year computer science student. I have read through posts on Dev Rant for a while now and have loved every minute of it. I really wanted to start contributing to this awesome community and thought a question might be a good start. There seems to be a ton of inconsistencies among certain terms. The biggest that really grinds my gears is how people refer to "()", "[]", and "{}". I personally refer to the first set as parenthesis, the second as brackets, and the third as braces. Throughout my time at this college and around the internet I have read some people say curly braces, curly brackets, squigly brackets, round brackets, square braces, and my personal favorite "those curvy round things". Other students do this which is understandable, but it seemed strange that even my professors use them interchangeably. So is there a naming convention anywhere that might help with this issue or somewhere I can get some clarification?

When you know you should be writing your tests first, then your code. But you secretly do it the other way round anyway.

The day my company got its first round of funding

I can't stand Swift's initializers. No other languages have the problem with constructors/initializers that Swift does. It's a complete failure of a feature and to hell with safety if it comes with this cost.

Just to illustrate how ridiculous it gets, I want to have a class where my initialization logic can be split among reusable parts. That is, the logic that initializes the class with no parameters has logic that I want to reuse in my other initializers. Simple DRY stuff. Well, the only way I can do that in Swift is if I use a convenience initializer that calls another one. But convenience initializers have completely different rules from designated initializers (again, something only Swift does).

For example, you can't access "self" until you call a designated initializer. You can't chain designated initializers, and if you want to chain anything in the same class you have to handcuff yourself by using a "convenience" initializer (there's nothing convenient about them, I might add).

So now I want to subclass my class and initialize myself using one of my superclass initializers. Oh but the one I want to call is a *convenience* initializer so I can't, unless I turn my new initializer into a convenience initializer. Except wait, a convenience initializer must delegate with self.init(), so it can't even call a superclass initializer!

And it just goes round and round and round. I don't know if I should try to convert all of my initializers to convenience initializers or the other way around.

Why all this nonsensical madness? Get rid of the distinction and go back to nice clean powerful initializers like Objective-C. I mean what does it have to take? This is a complete nightmare.

What's some valuable things you've learned this year?

I'll start.
Always ask myself, if I can elaborate on any given statement, otherwise just keep shut.

Always ask yourself before writing any code, if it's gonna be easy to modify later on, if not, take a step back and evaluate the bigger picture.

Don't bother with writing things clean in the first go.
It'll be much easier to refactor later on and take less total time.

Handed my notice in at my current job last week. Today a project update goes round to the company that I'm leaving with everything we're working on.

We have a new client. It's the company I'm moving to.

IS THERE NO ESCAPE?!

! RANT
Yesterday I went to pool campus recruitment drive and there were 3 rounds
1. Written​ aptitude test
2. Group Discussion
3. F2F interview

Cleared first round and got selected for second round out of like 80 students. (15-18 got selected)
Went to group discussion first topic was "Donald Trump Administration is threat to IT for Indian or not" and the all were saying he stopped giving visa to Indians, there is no opportunity for us there because of him and I was like wtf... And they think because of Trump, Indian people from Infosys got kicked out hahahaha wtf is this.
Second was how AI and Digitalization can help in growth of nation.
And again those girls hahahah one girl said by using AI we can make new technology and can explore galaxies. What the fathafucking fuck!!
And YES THEY GOT SELECTED.
(Whole HR team was non technical)

Round figure

that feel when the mothfacka uses around twenty different fonts, and not be able to even name them, and don't get me started on the arbitrary resizing of links, and the seemingly random positioning of round shaped elements

3 years ago,
Team of 3(team's first and last competition together). ICPC ACM Multiprovisional round.
1st question super simple. Teammate came up with the algo.
I was the one who wrote the code. Missed a brace after a 'if' statement.
Wasted 45 mins, debugging and coming up with new approaches. From a possible top 10 rank finish, we got 44th at the end of the competition.
If I wouldn't have done this silly mistake, our team wouldn't have failed.

Sat for a company X, aced 2 out of 3 rounds, final round, I come to know that the company deals with Hardware and I was poaching them about my software skills.

Buh bye. We need only Hardware interested personnel.

Just before I was about to go full pro stud, by rejecting the offer, they slammed the door on me pretty soon.

All my resolutions:
- Finish my fully FOSS gamedev workflow and start working on my game by March, have a concept demo by May when my matura exams come round.
- Do good on said exams and get into a good university.
- Do some political or social activism
- Learn the guitar to a campfire level
- Drink til I pass out if trump wins again.
- Make close friends with at least 10 new people
- Go on at least 6 dates

Pm orders me to integrate data from several closed systems into a new CRM, problem is... corporate security won't allow me to push data between these networks as there are extremely sensitive data on these systems. So I disobey PM or corporate if I do it and ive told both the issues. 4th round with this exact issue now.

I just spent 4 (four) hours debugging why my perlin noise used the same gradient for every point. Turns out I forgot to assign the seed for the random generator so it defaulted to 0. (I seed it every round with the map seed and coordinates so I don't have to store anything for visited regions)

So, how's your sunday night going?

Everytime I work on stuff deep in the core of an application i feel like performing heartsurgery

While finishing up development on an Atari Jaguar game. The game crashed after being left on the frontend screen for 24 hours. Part of the Atari QA checklist.

The bug turned out to be really easy to fix. Just work late and reset the testers Jaguar at 3am. Beers all round and sent to duplication ;)

Still crashes to this day.

Setting up a mail server is the worst experience I ever had. And whoever took part in the invention of these evil pieces shall get hit by doves, round cubes and get lost in /home/minzkraut/mbox FOREVER!!

HECK!

What kind of a shitty interviewer asks Fibonacci series as the only one question in the last round ?

Round off error happen in the app. Find a piece of code .
$rootScope.isRoundoffEnabled?2:2

You beat back all the lesser buzzwords, but then you round the corner to face the ultimate boss of buzzwords, a God amongst ads.

as I've said in the previous rant, I know nothing about cryptography but I wanna make a tattoo and you guys have to validate how easy it is from samples.

Round 1:

EAPAToAqQMAoAoaAMEaihsIOAkrN

Full round of QA, full round of internal testing, and the client still finds a bug nobody can reproduce.
🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

lightning round

Seriously, what is the point of a 1px border-radius? It's barely discernible from 0. It looks like the button got slightly dented in transit or something.

If you're going to round the corners, at least go 2px so it's noticeable by the average user or not at all. COMMIT! :)