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Tv hacker: I'll write code to hack their security cameras
2 seconds later
Tv hacker: I'm in
Me: go fuck yourself you fucking fuck34 -
*In Office
Coworker raises his head, looks at boss: "I'm leaving".
Boss raises head looks at coworker: "Ok".
All this took 5 seconds,..the weirdest 5 seconds of my life10 -
Optimized my program fron running 74 minutes to running 0.005 seconds. I call that a successful day.34
-
Want to understand a DDOS attack?
Imagine trying to work while being interrupted every few seconds.. forever.
Just like an open office!4 -
Yesterday I managed to optimize a query...
Went from 43 seconds to 0.0702 seconds.
For some reason mysql decided to copy the data of 4 huge tables into a temp table and do its operations there... (the copying to temp tale took 42/43 seconds)
Two composite indexes later and I saved the company hours of time over the course of a few months.
Feels good.14 -
i posted a question 43 seconds ago. there is no way you can read this whole question in 43 seconds and i already have a -1 downvote on stackoverflow.
i feel like these fucking cunts just downvote out of boredom just because they feel like it
15 -
manager: "you wrote all your code in java, but i really prefer reading scala 😔"
me: *uses intellij to convert all my java to scala in two seconds*6 -
Remember the rule of 20:
After every 20 mins, look 20 feets away, for 20 seconds.
No eye issues in the future.20 -
Pi Project
It's pinging Google and measuring the response time every three seconds, then graphs the result on the LED SenseHat. It's graphing wifi stability.
11 -
me: Better check my phone for texts from friends
me: *checks phone*
me: Better get some friends
* Few seconds later *
me: Better go back to terminal2 -
I once optimized a web page that performed 621 SQL queries and loaded in 21 seconds in a production app.8
-
Well, I did it.
I spent 45 minutes writing my first hacky, shell-and-python automation script to save me 15 seconds every morning.12 -
Client: That loading screen is going by too fast. The customer can‘t read the slightly too long text. Add 2 more seconds to the load time.
Is this real life?19 -
if( !condition ) vs. if(condition == false)
Pointless debate started with readability, turned into heated insults under 30 seconds 😂20 -
At the moment I'm trying to optimize a slow old MySQL query from a project I made several years ago. The execution time is in excess of 55 seconds. Not good :(
After about an hour of experimenting I finally set a good index and reduced the time to < 3 seconds.
Chuffed :)
3 -
Our AWS Consultant: Do you have the AWS CLI installed?
Me: Brings up the Linux subsystem in Win 10. sudo apt install awscli.
Me thirty seconds later: Yes.19 -
Laptop runs out of energy and shuts down, but thank goodness I was warned 2 seconds before that the energy level is low.2
-
Due to the coronavirus we are currently required to develop all our web services with SOAP and sanitise all our input for at least 20 seconds.2
-
I haven't checked my work email in a month or two.
We use slack, so every time someone needs me they just message me there or text me. It works nicely. I also dislike email in general.
Anyway: I looked at my inbox this morning, and again just now. I've gotten just over 900 emails today.
Why?
Tons of useless alerts on a shoddy as hell codebase. As an example: Every time a coworker uses a tool or lookup with a sub-par query, it ties up the single shared database long enough to generate response time alerts.
As a better example, there are many many many informational alerts that intentionally begin with "500 Internal" specifically to trigger an email alert. Why? I guess they were useful at some point?
There's just so much to fix...
And I guess I don't care enough.
On the bright side: this gives me a great reason to ignore my email!6 -
When you're making a GitHub students account:
"We'll email you in a few weeks"
5 seconds later, you'll recieve an email:
"Hey <username>, we have some awesome news
We've upgraded you to a plan with unlimited free private repositories, which will be free for the next two years."
GitHub, I don't think you know what weeks are, lmao12 -
!rant
Ah the joy of tweaking one tiny segment of code to reduce your neural network runtime from 3 minutes for 100 generations to 3 seconds!6 -
OMFG! YES! I just solved an issue that made build times close to 20 minutes. Not it's only a couple of seconds! YES!!!9
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Optimized a query today. Before it timed out after 10 minutes, now it takes 4.3 seconds. Very proud.13
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Confluence is good they said
Confluence is awesome they said
Confluence is cloud based and fucking great...
Confluence is starting to lag like it's the 1990's and my keyboard strokes are taking seconds, literal seconds to catch up..
KEYBOARD LAG!! in 2020!!! fuck this JS bullshit.
12 -
QA: did you test the app first?
Dev: Yes, I test all my code all the time.
*QA crashes the app within first 5 seconds.*4 -
Spent 3 hours making a script that saves me 15 seconds every half an hour. Hmm not my best choice.8
-
>Deploys new image at OpenShift Online
> 3 seconds passed
> "your pod is stuck for more than 5 minutes"
excuse me wtf1 -
Setting up new server, drop fail2ban to cover the sshd and within 30 seconds there are already 7 ip's banned...
It's a dangerous out there3 -
> Gradle build finished in 32 seconds
As if you did, fucking cunt. I've only watched half an anime episode and commented here and there in the meantime. Surely that'd be 30 seconds. Perhaps Gradle, you could've taken all that extra time to learn how to fucking count.
Android development, what hell am I getting myself into...5 -
Seriously, YouTube: fuck off
Just because i don't want to update an app with shady permission requests, I now have to wait 30 seconds EVERY TIME I WANT TO USE IT
15 -
When you are given a task or bugs to fix and your boss will tell you everytime that, "this is so easy this will be done in just 3 seconds".
WTF! Then don't hire devs and do it yourself! And start fixing all the damn bugs in just 3 seconds yourself! There are 28800 seconds in whole fucking 8 hours, I guess if we divided it by 3 you can finish a task or fix a bug at approximately 9600! (Applause) Now we are silently calling him "The 3 seconds man'.4 -
Messing around with twitter4j and accidentally got my account locked because a simple typo made me favorite 2k+ tweets in under a few seconds. Oops.3
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HOLY SHIT ANDROID 8 IS FUCKING PERFECT! MY OP5 JUST STARTED IN 5 SECONDS! AND THE PARALLEL APPS ARE FUCKING GREAT TOO! SOO MANY FEATURES!10
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Dear windows 10
I won't mind a weekly 30 minutes update but...
My ubuntu connects to wifi in 2 seconds
My lubuntu connects to wifi in 2 seconds
My archlinux connects in 1 second(don't ask why)
My raspbian starts up and connects in 10 seconds
WHY WOULD YOU TAKE MORE THAN A SYSTEMS BOOTING PROCESS TO GET CONNECTED?12 -
When you spend all day debugging and another dev comes over and points out the problem in 30 seconds...4
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Saw time in a digital clock (HH:MM) [05:14] thought I should take a 1 minute break and decided to start at 05:15.
2 seconds later its 05:15......fuuuuuuuuuuuu3 -
The one who said "Code should comment itself" must not have used assembly.
I literally wrote this 30 seconds ago and I can't work out what it does now...1 -
Holy shit, wrote bitwarden an email and I shit you not, 15 seconds later I got a reply answering my question, not via bot but an actual human, then answered that email with a much more detailled question and got an answer yet again 25 seconds later, insane. 😶4
-
Just tested my GPU code vs my non-GPU code.
Its a simple game of life implementation. My test is on a 80 x 40 grid running for 100,000 cycles.
The normal code took 117 seconds.
The CUDA code took 2 seconds.
Holy fuck this is terrifying.3 -
wow.. rename a file in windows (~3 seconds) it's 10473 registry interactions (3436 FILE_NOT_FOUND) by explorer.exe
8 -
Installing all the needed Latex dependencies on linux takes maybe 15 seconds, on windows I need 5GB of space and it takes forever to install.39
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Notepad++ is best. It take seconds to launch and provide color schemes for every language and its indentation is really good.12
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YouTube: Wait 5 seconds to skip this ad.
Me: Ooo this ad looks interesting.
*Watches for 15 seconds*
Me: Nah I'll watch my video now.
*Presses "Skip Ad"*
YouTube: Oh you like ads? How bout I give you another one right away? And this time you can't skip it!
Me: WTF???
(For those wondering, I usually don't mind YouTube ads. I have Pi-hole running on my network to block other ads)6 -
Netflix, why is your loading spinner so horrible!
Do you know what a percentage is??? 99% means you are ALMOST done. Just a tiny fraction to go. I should not see 99% for seconds or even minutes on end. Much less after the first 98% took only a couple seconds!!
Stop the lies!!!5 -
I often create git issues seconds before pushing the fix, then closing them immediately.
Allows my coworkers to receive notifications that I am actually working...2 -
Those 10 seconds when there is a feature request and you have to answer the question "How much time will it take?" inTheSpot8
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When someone comes to your desk and asks "did you get my slack message".... Which they sent 23 seconds ago 😒4
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How to check devrant in the office.
Open devrant
Read rants
Smile to yourself
Refresh devrant
**no new rant
keep phone away for few seconds
Open dev rant again -
Oh mum...
My mum comes to me asking "What's happening on my phone? What's this little thingy?" (typical question)
*looks at (android) phone*
*sees downloading icon*
Me: "It's downloading something..."
*pulls down notification bar*
*I see Facebook app updating*
Mum: "What is it?"
*3 seconds later*
"Oh it's the Facebook"
Took her literally 3 seconds to recognize😅
Love my mum though😊😏3 -
Using FireFox Dev edition:
Me: Cool a new update, lets hit update and restart button.
*two seconds later*
Me: FUUUUUUUCK, I was using incognito and now all my tabs are gone -.-8 -
That moment when you realise you just pushed a major bug whilst fixing another to the production website that launched earlier today.
Rolled back to working version, all within 30 seconds.
10 seconds later, client on phone... I just tried to load a page, why is my website broken?
They had to be loading it in that 30 seconds didn't they...?3 -
Client send email ... (15 seconds pass) ... client sends IM/Slack ... (15 seconds pass) ... client calls.
Me: Yes?
Client: Did you get my email asking how the project is coming along? Also, can you do this <totally unrelated> thing that will sidetrack you for 2 hours?3 -
!rant
Challenge for all Linux users:
You have to unpack sometarball.tgz
You have 10 seconds.
No googling!
Can you do it?27 -
today i spent hours doing a 30 seconds task that was neglected for months by a colleague. thanks pal
-
Head of IT department asked me to configure Apache from phpmyadmin. There occured 5 seconds of silence after he said that.6
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!rant
Reduced a page load time from 23.8 seconds to 0.5 seconds by disabling tracking of entities on the page. Felt awesome.4 -
Happily agree to help colleague with 'a quick problem' on their pet project. Realise a few seconds in that they can't actually see a difference between JS and JSON.5
-
Thanks major restaurant chain. I don't want to wait the 30 seconds for your cheezy animation to finish before I get my gift card's number. I'm hungry. Know your users.4
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I see AI autocorrecting code in ide before it gets compiled and complex ui getting exported from psd to code in few seconds4
-
Hours of refactoring just to get 0.5 seconds increase in performance per document generation.
Sounds small but makes a big difference when generating 100k documents.
Still not happy with it though...2 -
Fifteen minutes of coding
Fifteen minutes of specs
Five minutes of debugging
Two minutes of specs (just failures)
Thirty seconds of tweaking
Two minutes of specs
Ten seconds of tweaking
Two minutes of specs
Realize I made a typo due to RubyMine input lag
Two minutes of specs
Ten seconds of fixing and tweaking
Two minutes of specs
And so it goes.
All. day. long.
Sometimes it repeats.
That’s sort of nice.
Is it any wonder I can’t focus?5 -
I just realized there's a Student Education Pack on GitHub and got it after 5 seconds of requesting. Yay!!!3
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DBA bitches about one of our developers SQL... implement changes... deploy... now it takes 12 minutes... up from 40 seconds... good job!7
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That moment when f.lux updates on your phone and you are blinded because your screen is normally coulored for a few seconds5
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I tried to compare Python and Julia by letting them calculate the first 200000000 prime numbers. The result is dumbfounding.
Python: 95.91282963752747 seconds
Julia: 3.84788227110 -
Love my computer.
Opened edge(chrome was not responding).
In 2 seconds it crashed and windows killed the process.
❤❤❤2 -
I'm not an expert but if you site takes 5 seconds to navigate a step BACKWARDS, consider it inefficient af.1
-
Gotta love those 30 seconds of feeling of accomplishment after you solve a problem .. and before you see a new one.5
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All these Windows Update rants and I haven't waited more than 5 seconds for win to boot in the last two months...2
-
I loved Python from when I wrote my first program up to I googled "how to import a module from a parent directory".
My love lasted 30 seconds16 -
I love when this happens to me.
1. Restarts manually the webserver.
2. 5 seconds later, i try to reach one of the websites and i am surprised of the 'the site is down' error and begin to investigate the reason.
3. 30 seconds later: "oh im stupid".4 -
If anything taught me that garbage collectors aren't the one true answer for memory management then it's got to be modded minecraft
It takes around 10-20 seconds only to disconnect from a game and go back to the main menu.
You also get memory leaks, which result in several second long freezes when the GC kicks in, that happen every 15 seconds.1 -
Shit programmers annoy me... But It looks like I can make money from that....
P.s a website should never take 15 seconds to load .... Crazy5 -
I just upgraded to an SSD (finally! I know right?), and holy crap, SSDM showed up in less than 2 seconds!
Oh I've been missing out on life!
IT'S SOOO FAST!!!!3 -
That moment when you go to YouTube for a configuration or code tutorial and have to wait for 5 seconds to view a WIX.com ad... FML4
-
When the initial request for the website takes 5 seconds but the server load is 0.01..
All next requests are loaded instantly.
Fml debugging this.3 -
I spent two days of debugging for a typo. Literally two characters were switched.
Took my coworker 3 seconds to find it.1 -
Doesn't matter how many years I do this job, a merge conflict will always stop my heart for a good few seconds.7
-
Simple. I push everyone I care about out of my life, and procrastinate dev life until the last seconds. My life has no balance.
-
Me (junior with 1 month of work experience): have to shutdown the service on pre-release server, then reload it. Best case: ~10 seconds of bo, no one will know...I hope.
Result: 13 seconds of bo, no one noticed.
Senior: I'm deleting the tables and reload them through sh script. Oh fuck the reload script doesn't work......
5 minutes of bo for her.
What did we learn from this? I think nothing 🤔 -
Think my brain is drowning in my nasty thoughts.
I wasn't sure whether boobstrap or bootstrap for seconds.1 -
To all the websites that take more than 2 seconds to figure out whether your username/password combination is correct,
FUCK YOU.
I don't want to watch your sorry ass fucking shitty application server try to figure out if I entered my fucking credentials correctly for 50 fucking seconds since I have to try them multiple times because I have visited your worthless fucking website like once or twice and couldn't remember the password well.6 -
Fucking YouTube adverts on chromecast. Every time 55 seconds required to watch and THEN it starts another 55 optional seconds. I'm happy to have a remote so you can skip easy but they know you're sitting comfortable in front of your TV so they keep pushing ads. It's unethical. Torture, before I didn't mind so much, before the 55 seconds shit what was pretty rare before46
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Just cut 2 seconds off the load time after roughly 2 months of refactoring. The code looks beautiful though.1
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*coding, furiously, to sweet tunes*
*awesome new song comes on I haven't heard before*
*30 seconds in, saves to playlist*
*Song continues playing*
*....Removes from playlist*2 -
Me trying to copy a file from pendrive to Hard disk.
Status- 45 seconds left...
Went to College, completed Bachelor, went to university, completed Masters, got married, had two children, got retired from job, returned to the same PC
Status- 45 Seconds left... -
I had my first crash on Windows 10. It takes ten seconds for Microsoft to take the crash info but, 10 hours to update.6
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Craft CMS deployment on shared server, PHP5, Apache takes 10 - 30 seconds to load.
Craft CMS deployment on virtual shared server, PHP7, Nginx takes 1 - 2 seconds to load.
1 -
I don't think it's a coincidence that my internet disconnects for a few seconds when i click link to porn sites.
Happy everytime time :/10 -
I just sent I put a funny photo of mine as my profile in whatsapp for a few seconds.
Few seconds later, some *innocent* person sends me the following message "hey, that's a funny image of yours lol. Just shared it on facebook"
***Facepalm***
! Not pissed off, just wondering why the heck people feel like sharing everything they fucking see on Facebook2 -
I really have to say, huge props to the shutdown speed of Mint. This thing shuts down in less than five seconds.2
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If I didn't find the information I need from your web page on the first few seconds, I close. And no, I don't want to get a notification from you.2
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Hetzner Cloud
Very easy to set up. It is ready in just seconds. Very affordable prices. Billed by hours used. Hosted in Germany (or Helsinki of you want to) :D -
I’m fucking lost.
So, situation. I have a SQL table with about 3M rows (not a lot).
I have indexes. Indexes are used. BUT when I add where clause (On indexed column), it’s super slow. Around 10 seconds.
If I do select * (ALL 3M rows) and THEN I filter then on webserver side, it takes 0.5 seconds.
HOW my manual filtering is faster than DB filtering with indexes? I even tried bubble sort. Bubble sort is faster than SQL ‘where’. HOW ?!
I do not understand….
And if I add group by….. WELL, 25 seconds SQL time. 2 Seconds if I do select all and group by in code manually.
Does not make ANY sense to me.
What am I missing ?21 -
Windows: restarting in 10 seconds
Me: probably just a bug or something like that *click OK button*
10 seconds later
Me: it's no a bug! IT'S NOT A BUG! let me save my stuff
(I don't now why windows did that it made some kind of update without warning except for the 10 seconds and then I had some problem s like I couldn't connect to a SQL server and the computer was super slow)6 -
Bad day is when you accidentally click OK button on a dialog with label "Set Internet Explorer as default browser"1
-
You can compile sass straight to c on a Mac instead of going to ruby first... I've wasted so much time. 11 seconds to compile --> .4 now 😑3
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Before update:
WhatsApp: Opens in literally one second
After Update:
Takes few seconds because of that brand new splashscreen -_-
And it looks ugly too ...7 -
Currently working on thesis:
Me:(Using iText to convert PDF Files to String)
Groupmate: I think the conversion makes our program slower.
M: Fine, I'll search for other libraries
M:(Finds Apache PDF Box and another open source PDF Util)
M:(Tests using nanotime then converted to seconds)
PDFBox: 24.3464 seconds
PDFUtil : 20.8365 seconds
iText : 7.937 seconds
://///// -
So when someone rings at my door the music volume is set to zero and the previous volume is cached to restore it ten seconds later. When then this person rings another time within this 10 seconds, the zero volume is cached an the fun begins.4
-
Funny how DPI impacts scanning speed... I have been scanning 150 DPI the whole time hoping it would save me some time, I'm better off with 225.
(Left: DPI, Right: seconds)
4 -
That mini heart attack when you run `rm rf *` and it takes some seconds longer than you expected and you reallize that you cannot remember if you cd'ed out /2
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Implementing a duration timer in my bright and shiny exercise application. Testing it and I was sure that one second after 7159 it should print out "02:00:00" (since 7200 seconds is 2 hours).
Didn't understand why it took the timer to show 2 hours after 41 seconds instead of just 1 second..
5 -
When you are installing a macOS update on a 2016 Macbook Pro and it is stuck on “About 0 seconds remaining” for 3 hours...2
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I'd just like to thank the developers on the pornhub site for their amazing work.
I have a shitty internet connection that cuts off every ten seconds and reconnects after 30 seconds. I was searching for a particular channel when my connection cut off just as I wrote 'fake' when it reconnected 30 seconds later, the search autocompleted itself. thank you very much you amazing programmers.5 -
When you have a telephone interview for a Software Developer job and say something completely retarded within the first 20 seconds...
2 -
I broke prod for 10 seconds, and nobody noticed. Also, why the fuck did the alarms not go off? 🤷♂️ 🚨 🙈5
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I've just bought 3 months sky ticket...
THEY ONLY ALLOW A 4-DIGIT NUMBERS ONLY "PASSWORD"?!?!
IN WHAT YEAR DO THEY LIVE???
AND THEY EVEN SEND IT TO YOU VIA EMAIL ALONGSIDE YOU USERNAME!
I guess their old windows server which handles their authentication would be overcharged when it'd handle real passwords.4 -
When you let your friends test you application. All of this happened in about 3 seconds. I directly shut down the server haha. Translation: "page ... couldn't be loaded."
2 -
Hate it when the beta tester always laughs when he finds a notorious bug, but loves it when I fix it in mere seconds and his laugh slowly fades...1
-
Seriously, I get a smaller hart attack if there is NO errors shown in the debugger. I wait about 5 seconds before I breathe against be sure it is correct.
-
if someone dedicates sometime, even if it is fucking 30 seconds to share knowledge with you, appreciate it !! fuck! I hate presenting KTs !!
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in the mood to spend two grand on a pc solely to say "I compile this thing like 0.4 seconds quicker :)"9
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Freaking hate it when people's ringtones go off randomly at work. Gonna go mad listening to the same 4 seconds of despacito over and over again 😠
-
Why does it take a few seconds for the feed to show up when I pull down to refresh?
This is Android N on a Moto G5 plus.4 -
Pissed off:
Trying to write a date function that converts an Int (seconds) to days hours/minutes/seconds.
Get stuck when I build the output-string because I need to mix string and Int. I am used to C# and PHP, C++ just screws it up for me.3 -
So devRant takes about 4-5 seconds to load after launching it. I have a good internet connection and my phone is fast. Does this happen to you too??4
-
When I am coding and don't have to go to google every 20 seconds. Makes me feel competent and doesn't interrupt my train of thought.
-
Quick android gif workaround
The fix is to open the gif in fullscreen, wait 5 seconds, close it and open it again.
It will load the second time.1 -
We have new AI platforms popping out the internet every seconds. Now the problem is why the heck should I pay $499/month for your shinny new shit!4
-
"I want you do this *extremely vaguely described task* for our next project. Can you think for less than 30 seconds and give me an estimate?"1
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I am literally tasked with debugging why we have a 1.98 seconds lag on our site running on kubernetes. Smh4
-
"Just put a 3 seconds sleep in your system init process, it will fix the showstopper bug we are getting on customer systems."
-
I started xampp, atom, chrome at once and my windows launched xampp in 10 seconds, chrome in 23 seconds and guess what atom was up in just 2 minutes....
Still trying to figure out whether to throw my pc or the windows.4 -
Got to love outlook as desktop email client.
Reply to email-> freeze computer for between 10-10,000 seconds.8 -
*hits CTRL-S to ensure everything is saved *
.5 seconds later:
*Hits CTRL-ALT-S to ensure sanity is saved*
Git Push2 -
Me: What if I use navigation props in EF Core, what might go wrong?
*tests API call*
*120 seconds later finally got result*
Me: I better undo my changes and stick with 2 seconds response time O_O -
Changed refresh rate of my KDE widgets from 1 to 5 seconds.
No more 12% cpu usage spikes in idle. (Down to 3%)
I think that my battery will thank me -
!rant
Today I found a huge performance bug of a coworker which brought our production servers to the limit.
Some heavy calculations were made 3 times when visiting some special pages... Instead of eg. 5 seconds the load needed 15 seconds.😮
So happy that the servers will run smooth again!1 -
First rant after coming on this website.
Took me 5 seconds to find the search component, GUYS? VISUAL DESCRIPTIONS?5 -
Me: I tried to catch this bug for two days
Other: Let me show
5 seconds later...
Other: Oh, you just used the wrong string type
Me: ... -
Decided to change how my game engine asset loading and sorting systems work, giving up on making everything editable JSON files just so it's easier to manage and actually build things.
Currently trying to work out a way to load all of the packages sprites into 1 singular asset bundle and here is the evolution so far...
Revision 1: Compiles a single 328KB PNG into a 24MB file in 190 seconds.
Revision 2: Compiles same image into a 24MB file in 5 seconds.
Revision 3: Compiles into a 16MB image in 4 seconds.
It's not much but it's a start :-D
(Still haven't built a loading system so who knows if it works yet ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)3 -
The installer is bouncing between 6 seconds and 10 seconds. It's been 20 and I'm starting to think neither is right.
-
Boss uses @here in Slack channel, waits 5 seconds then tags me and another dev. Not sure he understands how @here works.1
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!Rant
Why in hell did we try to get smart with this shit!? As simple as storing 2 values and reading them... But no... Someone wanted to get pretty with it, stored the two values but just read one because the other can be calculated...
Makes sense (btw it's [field] in minutes and [field] in seconds)... Some problems:
1. Why? Oh because someone designed it as int...
2. Why not just in seconds? Fuck you that's why...
3. Who the fuck thought that getting seconds from minutes is better then getting minutes from seconds when we only store integer values?
Thank you... I feel better4 -
I hate power outages. It just went out for all of 5 seconds, but it was long enough to shut down my computer. Fortunately Android studio probably caught all but the last couple seconds of my changes but it's still annoying.1
-
Everytime you resolve a KISS issue.... You say to yourself ," I'll definitely learn from this "
2 seconds later: digging another rabbit hole for a KISS problem -
That time when I was extracting a 50GB archive and it failed at 99% :'(
Hope it was just 10 seconds though...
It was way, waaaaay more...
2 -
As administrator,
I used that cmd command to spread panic.
msg * "Please,save your work.Server maintenance.Rebooting your computer in 30 seconds" -
Performance using docker sucks. Are they even trying?
With docker 134 seconds. Without docker 7 seconds.
Docker do better.12 -
the moment other people are struggling finding a file using "find" in Linux and you find it using "locate" in seconds like a boss.
1 -
I hate dual boot, it might seem strange, but those 13 seconds it takes to shut down the pc, turn it on, select linux on grub (well, Windows broke my grub, so I actually have to use a modified version made to avoid windows 10 trying to make my computer "not mine") and type my password are the reason I'm starting to get lazy...
And there's more! The time between the on button press and the moment I can start working on linux is something between 3 and 4 seconds, not too much, and it takes less yhan 2 seconds to shutdown, it's not a problem, on the other hand, windows takes 20 seconds to boot, and after typing my account details, I have to wait almost 5 minutes before I can play (285 second onaverage)...
Sooooooo... Garbagedos is there only for games, I don't have any tool but notepad++ (hate it) and a lua ide for modding, I'd like to format everything and make a gpu passthrough, but I have an i5 quadcore, I don't know if that's enough 😥1 -
MacOs Mojave for the (now old) MacBook Air summed up:
all loading times from before + random(0.5, 3) seconds -
That feeling when you fixing bugs in production and add another one that's even worse, so now your getting about 300 error mails for a bug which was 10 seconds online...1
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Every other engineer in my team: "I just pinged Avellable[me] on hipchat 5 seconds ago. He hasn't replied. Maybe I should go to his desk and poke him."1
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Write meaningful unit tests! Unit tests are like micro documentation for your code that you can validate in seconds.3
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Me: I want to do something exciting and miserable
My idiot friend: Deletr the production DB, yor life would be fucking exciting but unfortunately miserable in very few seconds -
When you open someone else's "server" and it's one massive unholy mess where entering a new line freezes the whole thing for 3 full seconds...
-
The one thing I'm happy about is the fact that humans have agreed on time itself. 12 months and 12 hours. 60 minutes, and 60 seconds.2
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Oi, typescript, why do you take 15 seconds to transpile my project!?
It's a waiting game for the unit test to even start :/4 -
What's your first instance of a infinite loop which ended badly?
Mine was a loop to calculate prime numbers.
My computer came to a halt within 5 seconds :S4 -
If you're making code changes without a Story or Bug ID, you're doing something wrong. Take the 30 seconds and open a story to track your friggin work please.2
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I think some of us have moved past the apocalypse and some how landed in utopia.
Person online complaining their app build is slow and wants tips for speeding it up, apparently 23 seconds is too much time to wait.
Personally if my app build is going to be slow I prefer around the “how long it takes to make coffee” timeframe. Can’t even turn on my machine in 23 seconds...3 -
Got my QBASIC demopart ready for testing, completely optimized and ready to roll. Found 486 owner (33MHz, 8MB of RAM) who tested it for me.
Takes 13 seconds for the scroller to draw each frame at 300x200.
No possible optimizations are present, everything's crushed as far as it'll go, meaning a completely different method of scrolling is needed.
(Still faster than the array method by 37 seconds per frame, but y'know...)
fuck me... -
#NIPS2018 The main conference sold out in 11 minutes 38 seconds
AI conferences are like concerts these days, haha1 -
Brackets because live feed even though it really messes up a lot, it's better than refreshing every 5 seconds!
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Why the fuck do I have to wait more than 2 seconds to cancel a fucking FAILED PayPal transaction??? AND HAVE MY CREDIT BACK?!?! C'mon !!! ITS FUCKING 2016!!!
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Wow Go is awesome, throwing some of its magic and making data ingestion that took one minute plus and make it run under 3 seconds.
Feels good -
Iterating over 50 rows of data with selenium takes 8-10 seconds according to System.currentTimeMillis() But opening the site itself takes 65-70 seconds by itself. Why is this site so damn slow even opening it normally it’s slow as fuck and headless mode doesn’t help much if at all
Doesn’t matter much since I can just sit and let it do it’s 4000 iterations but I really ducking hate that 60 seconds just to load the damn page3 -
Exercise more in reading your own code or looking up on Google if something doesn't work, so many times someone asks me a question and it takes me 5 seconds to see they made a stupid mistake or a typo. Then I think to myself "you could've easily found that out seriously, stop wasting my 5 seconds"
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npm is actually fucking broken, yarn just saved me from a situation where it was taking 3+ minutes to test npm installs when yarn did it in 20 seconds1
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Compiling a project (Not BIG but still pretty big)
C# compiler : YOLO, you have 12 Cores ? I'll use 12 cores. BAM : 3 seconds, compiled !
SASS compiler :
Rolf, I'm gonna take file by file, recompile all dependant files to produce a single file. 2 Seconds per file. X 150 files.... 6 Minutes SASS is still running....2 -
Me: This ...
Friend: Is not working.
Me: How come it not work?
Friend: You are such a ...
Me: Waste of time. I know.
Friend: Forty minutes is all I'll need to debug this program.
Me: Seconds, Can u do that in Forty seconds.
Friend: Of course not. Why would I?
Me: An idiot teacher wants me to upload it right now.
Friend: Idiot, Is that what u call a teacher.
Please read the first letter of every conversation.10 -
This kvadmissiononline2018.in website is proudly powered by IIT Bombay and cannot hold session for 10 seconds.
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Welp, how much longer till someone building some magic to crack any modern encryption in blink of an eye.
...
tl;dr Google claimed it has managed to cut calculation time to 200 seconds from what it says would take a traditional computer 10,000 years to complete.
https://nydailynews.com/news/...20 -
Flutter is fun until the "pub get failed (server unavailable) -- attempting retry 3 in 4 seconds..." prompt up.3
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Anyone got any favorite Atom themes/plugins?
Mine right now is HTML Live Preview, just to save myself from having to refresh every 10 seconds 🙃3 -
Life is good.
Nah, that's it, not a rant, just wanna cheer you up for a few seconds of your today's dev agony. <34 -
found this interesting snippet tool for all javascript devs out there: https://github.com/30-seconds/...
found it useful! -
*attempts to leverage browser caching to raise site speed
*Site speed suddenly jumps to 100
*Very happy for 2 seconds
*Realise it's because I've knocked the site over
*Shit1 -
TFW video freezes because of buffering and plays after a minute of waiting, then 5 seconds later buffering starts again. Gee, I just want you to keep playing whatever is possible, not stare at the screen poorly awaiting next 5 seconds of content! Rewind a bit, I dunno, just don't tease me like that...
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I hate those websites that paint within one second and then it takes two seconds to load all the other assets. It seems bare minimum to me. Idk about you all but I would rather have it loaded in three seconds instead of me trying to scroll immediately and thinking my computer is going to crash from the low framerate.7
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Do you know what's grinding my gears today... the way my colleague keeps finger slapping his left hand mouse button every 5 seconds.😠1
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Sometimes I feel alone in getting frustrated when in a meeting someone says "we have 2 minutes left..." but really there's only 1 minute and 3 seconds left...
I'm typing this while we're now 192 seconds over too 😏
#displayseconds #secondsmatter6 -
Illusionism, hands down. Although chess and speedcubing are close seconds in my list of geeky non-dev activities. 😀
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Sometimes, I feel like the guy in Swordfish who is getting head but also has to hack into a system in 60 seconds or else he dies. The question is: would you just let yourself enjoy those 60 seconds and die? Bc holy shit, that’s a really nice way to go out.2
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HELP
I'm new to atom, The compilation error pop-up disappears in 2 seconds. How can I change its duration or make it manually closable. -
Worst part of being a dev: have to wait for the compiler to build, then upload to device, then restart the app... A dozen of seconds are enough to lose concentration and wasting time on something else, which lasts much more than a dozen of seconds.
(opening devRant is by far the best of those wastes) -
Alright sure this quarintine time would go with no issues... Right?
*Opens google.com*
*Waits 30 seconds*
*Page loads without the logo*
*Searches about a problem I have*
*Wait another 60 seconds*
*Page loads with no results*
*Waits another 40 seconds*
*Now there are links*
*Clicks on the first link*
*ERR_TIMEOUT*
Yep.... Fun shit.3 -
I think my laptop is as lazy as me: it turns on 2 seconds after I pushed the power button.
🎵 Swiiiiiiitch looooooow1 -
Our stand-up meetings always get hijacked within 90 seconds... usually because this is the only time all of the developers are together in one video call.1
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how useful does a program that makes a new tor circuit to the website your on every 10 seconds sound devrant!1
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From the terminal, I can see that the development server is started, then couple of seconds later, there's accepted and closing; as seen attached.
10 -
I'm looking for an alternative to tradingview which can offer 5 seconds charts for free without upgrading my free plan? is there such thing ?
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senior: it should only take 30 seconds to replace multiple display strings across our code base
well it would be nice if they'd do it then, and somehow i don't think that 30 seconds included checking your work and making sure you don't fuck up other instances of those strings (e.g. in variable names, etc)
maybe you got a clever enough regex to only hit exactly what you want :shrug:1 -
How do people do anything with JetBrains IDEs? They're all soooo incredibly slow! I'm sick of waiting seconds after a right click.7
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Why do normal captchas still exists? There are many (also big) services that still have these number and letter captchas. Every programmer could crack them in seconds...8
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