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Random Uncle: So what do you do?
Me: Uncle, I'm a dev at xyz company.
RU: Ah so what do they do
Me: Uncle we work in the internet advertising business, kind of like AdSense
RU: So you basically spam the web?
Me: Yes :/10 -
So this guy passed large objects as function arguments directly instead of referencing. What a jackass. So the program was slow as fuck AND taking up too much memory.
So yeah, I'm basically ranting about myself.2 -
Friend: so what is this app I always see you using on your phone?
Me: devRant, it's for developers! it gives us the chance to share rants!
Friend: Wow awesome!!! so what do you guys discuss, interesting stuff huh?
Me: Spaces.... spaces vs tabs.25 -
- What is exactly your job
-- I am a developer
- So, what does it mean exactly?
-- I create software, applications like those you use on your phone and PC
- So you can create phones and PCs?
-- No it is not that :|
- Can you fix my Laptop?
-- here we go8 -
Kid(age: 17): What kind of programming do you do?
Me: Well, I started writing scripts in Python, but in the last few months I moved to IOS development, so like making apps.
Kid: So you write scripts for phones?
Me: Not exactly—
Kid: Do you know what jailbreaking is?
Me: Yeah.
Kid: So do you jailbreak stuff?
Me: No—
Kid: Oh so you don’t really do programming.
:’(19 -
Family: So what did you study at school?
Me: Software Engineering
Family: So you can make websites?
Me:
5 -
So what are you studying?
Software Engineering.
Oh, so sit infront of the computer everday?
For the most part, yes, but I also d...
What a waste of time, you and your videogame-internet. Back in my days...
-every conversation with elderly people ever.16 -
Just found out my wife is pregnant!! So excited! What should our little one's first programming language be? What age should they start learning??
Joy!!24 -
So I was code reviewing this guy's code before merging into the master branch.... and then I FOUND THIS FUCKING CODE, WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What the fuck is this ???
66 -
At a party.
A: So, what do you do for a living?
Me: I'm a dev-
A: So you can like... hack things? Can you hack my insta?
ಠ_ಥ14 -
A : What you do for living ?
B : I'm a Software Engineer
A : Hmmm what ?
B : I do IT
A : Ohh, so you do IT. Cool
😊15 -
If you want to improve, be with people that are already better than you.
That's what I do, and so far so good.8 -
Life lesson learned:
If your girlfriend asks you what SO means, it's "Significant Other",
NOT StackOverflow.7 -
So Facebook declared millions of people dead ... I guess that's what happens when you test in production7
-
"So what do you do?"
"I am a software engineer"
3 most frequent conversation routes
1. "I have some great app ideas maybe you could help me..."
2. "My computer/phone crashes frequently, what is wrong with it?..."
3. "so how many software/games/mobile apps have you developed?..."5 -
Non-dev boss: "so, what are you working on today?"
Me: "I'm working on the API"
Non-dev boss: "that's what you said last week! Why aren't you progressing?"
💢5 -
!rant
*me logging into the demo system*
Me: so what is the login data?
Boss: we are a security company, what do you think?
Me: admin admin?
Boss: admin admin.3 -
How a regular convo with non-devs usually go:
"So what do you do?"
"I'm a software developer."
"Oh, so you're like... a hacker?"
"No, I build apps."
"Nice! So like facebooks and stuff???"
"Not exactly. Different things, mostly tools. It depends."
"Ooh...cool...Like what?"
*proceeds to spend what feels like an hour trying to explain what I do for a living in the simplest terms, while the person just blankly stares and nods, pauses, then finally tells me their crazily infeasible app idea.*
"So whadaya think?"
"Hmm...sounds good 😀👍"9 -
Me: Listen dude, the code worked perfectly and all the test cases passed so I'm done here.
Also me: What is this? What the fuck is this? Why does this work? What witchcraft is this?
*Screams internally*1 -
So I got terminal Linux in school right now. People said that it's so hard, but guess what? Surprisingly it's even easier for me than Windows CMD!7
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Me being an Intern about 3 Months ago (first time)
"What is that?"
"What? How?"
"*Being clueless sometime*"
"*Google's tons of shit*"
"Im so confused"
For about 9 hours...9 -
So some dipshit keeps entering his email wrong on forms and putting mine on instead (never met this guy).
So far I've received holiday bookings, plane tickets and payslips. I've already called his mobile and told him what I've received emails for and what he should change.
Still nothing, maybe I should just rob him blind for being so thick...11 -
So I didn't really like my old setup, it wasn't comfortable enough, so I set this up today! What do you guys think?
3 -
Not commenting my code because "it's so clear what I'm doing, how could I ever forget what my own lines of code do."5
-
I don't think I've EVER wanted to hit the insert key.
"You know what would be great?"
"What?"
"If typing erased what you've already done so you can't actually edit anything"
"Sounds pretty great"9 -
Taxi driver: "So what course you studying?"
Me: "Software Engineering"
Taxi driver: "Oh, so you know how to hack Facebook and people's bank accounts?"
Me: *facepalm*5 -
Quote dumbledore: "Soon we all have to choose between what is right and what is easy"
So very true in programming aswell :p -
Duuude!? What the fuck?!
First weekend off so I can slack around & now this?! O.o
I don't know what I expected.. I didn't evem do anything to it (yet)..
6 -
Most ignorant ask from pm:
“So what have we done in the app so far?”
When the requirement gathering hadn’t even been completed yet.1 -
!rant
It's a non-working holiday at the office so I'm at home doing nothing. I asked my boyfriend what to do for the whole day then he said "Spend your day to something you really enjoy".
Ah yes!
So I'm building a new project. What an exciting day!1 -
!rant
person1: "So I year your studying to become a web developer"
person2: "Ya I am"
person1: "So what school are you going to?"
person2: "its called w3schools"4 -
Assembly:
"OMG! What an unfriendly language! It's so obsolete!"
WebAssembly:
"OMG! Assembly is on the web! It's so amazing!"3 -
So I’m looking at a senior dev role, and wondering what kind of coding challenges to expect, what have some of you more senior devs had to face in the past?9
-
Ok so everyone knows the "error after file end" BUT I JUST GOT AN ERROR IN A FILE THAT DOESNT EXIST.
WHAT THE FUCK UNITY. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK.1 -
2010: haha yeah I use StackOverflow too
2011: SO, amirite?
2012: omg SO servers are down
2013: am engineer and I use SO to remember how to eat and breathe
2014: guys, what if SO was down. CODEPOCALYPSE!
2015: I use SO and have imposter syndrome
2016: omg, git checkout this SO meme on /r/programmerhumor
2017: I'd rather skin my mother alive than have SO dowb
2018: Stack fucking Overflow... like.. what if... you... can't... use it... in an interview...
2019: check my twitter @paresh, tons of SO references with barely intelligible english
just fucking drop dead, pieces of shit...5 -
Some folks I cannot remember keep popping up with their 'i am back' posts and make me wonder: "should I know this lad? Was he here before me? Was he posting so little quality content that I didn't even notice him? Will I offend that person by saying idk who he is? Should I really care...?6
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taxes. what the actual fuck? I finally graduated and got my first 6 figure job, only to find out the federal government basically takes 1/3 of my pay??? WHAT??? Why are we all okay with this? I feel fucking robbed. I worked so hard to get here, so many sleepless nights, so many all nighters studying, just to get 1/3 of my money stolen from me? what the fuck?????49
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Customer: "Yeah we need <insert bonkers 12 step circular logic> to find a thing(s) in the database."
Me: "Ok let me diagram this out and I'll send it to you to review.... but man this seems like the 8th version of this we're doing right?"
Customer: "Yeah well <employee Y> says they can't do B, C without this."
Me: "Wait... can't they just <insert the most simple step in the history of time> in step A, and then later on they won't have to do all this hunting later? Like you have that data at step A right?"
Customer: "Yeah but <employee Y> doesn't want to do that."
Me: "She's your direct report ....."
Customer: "Yes...."
Me: "Ok.... I'll send you the diagram and the cost estimate...."
Whatever reason sometimes it is a bit draining coding madness compared to making things actually efficient / people's jobs easier...3 -
Overheard a dev bragging about how our site is fully PCI compliant. So much so even the invoice data is secure. My BS meter went off, so I decided to look at what 'secure' code looked like.
5 -
So I walked into a business the other day where they make flyers and business cards etc. Wanted something specific so went to what they call their "developers". So they have some kind of dodgy pdf editor open there and I know exactly what I want so I asked can you take a RGB color..... the reaction was glassy eyes. And after that the woman started to scream at me and telling me that I have no idea what it is like to be a "Developer". Ended up walking out and going to another place.....1
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wow, just opened my first editor. So amazing what I'm able to accomplish in this field.
#girlswhocode14 -
So what would you class yourselves as:-
A) Developer
B) Software Developer
C) Software Engineer
D) Programmer
I go with with Software Engineer. This for me sounds complete for what I do. What do you guys think and why?40 -
I have so much free time! My plans all weekend have been cancelled, so I can just code all night and all day!
.... So what do I write? .....
Netflix it is then? *Sigh*1 -
Note to self:
Fucking comment your fucking code
So I finally got time to work on an old project and now I can't figure out what does what.6 -
I've just realised, I don't care if Facebook are sharing my data... I mean, what I get more ads for men with big penises and ripped abs? So what...13
-
So this is what I understand from reading about Deno:
"We couldn't improve the Node.js platform because so many people already use it, so we made a new platform that no one will use so we could keep improving it forever!"3 -
Damn life.
Life is very hard.
Social relationships are very difficult.
I am so lonely.
Not friendship.
Not a girlfriend.
All I have is my laptop.
My only companion is a laptop.
The only person sitting on my feet is my laptop.
Well, I'm a programmer, so what?
What kind of person am I?
What is the purpose of my creation?14 -
i fucking hate bit shifting operation fuckery
fuck your clever math and shit
also documenting what represents what in an idiot proof way so i can easily consume it8 -
I'm so done with these big boring technical programming books. So painful to read... I'll just watch some quick tuts and maybe, just Google what I need to know.2
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I feel like I got my current job as my first dev job so I would know what NOT to do and what to avoid for my next job.2
-
You know what pisses me off? When I don't know what a constant is used for so I check the documentation and this is what I see:
1 -
After it finished booting it went straight into kiosk mode, so couldn't tell what it was running. Regardless, it's cool to see Linux being used in so many ways.
5 -
Question:
What was the stangest thing what you saw in other's code when you reviewed it?
I never reviewed a simple code, so I am curios 😮8 -
So uhm... All of a sudden this is what spotify recommends me.. Wonder how their algorithm has determined that's what I like 😅
-
The company that manages my ISA for Lambda emails on a regular basis to get you to update your income. I got annoyed by the frequency while I was employed so started filtering everything.
Though I’ve been up to date with reporting income to them and submitting tax documents, etc, I apparently missed some important emails.
Like the one on the 4th saying a third party provider flagged by account for employment with CompanyA and that I needed to submit my pay stubs for CompanyA.
I do not and have never worked for CompanyA. My husband works for CompanyA.
I also missed the email from the 12th saying I’m in breach of contract and owe them $19,091.65 immediately.
*head desk*
I’m so mad I can’t even.
Why did i check my email before going to sleep?
AND I POSTED RECENTLY SO I CAN’T EVEN RANT YET. *
*Waited it out -
This is my first rant but I don't understand what a rant actually is so yeahhh I m totally confused now lol😁😁. Btw I hope everyone is good and doing great in their life. And I don't know what to write next so bye bye for now4
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What would happen if a programmer and a PM had to cut down a tree...
https://twitter.com/i/moments/...
Wouldn't be so funny if it weren't so true... -
I hate meetings that could have been just checking the Jira to see what everyone is working on... Getting 5 people together to individually mention what they're working on... So inefficient6
-
Are you using an automated deployment solution for web development? If so, what would you recommend?6
-
In this project we're working on, there are so many abbreviations for so many things.
+ "Hey, can you help me test XXX through YYY API?"
- "Sure. But may i ask, what do XXX and YYY actually stand for?"
+ "Well, no one knows"
So people can work on something for months without really knowing the name of what they're working on. Good to know.4 -
@dfox I got them. They're so cool! Love them! Thank you very much! Dunno what Tim's username so I couldn't tag him.
1 -
I dont get it... I dont understand what my manager expects me to do when I am not really allowed to make design decisions, but there is no design at all! What are we doing here, manufacturing spaghetti? Today I asked my co-worker what our product should actually do exactly when its finished. He said he is not so sure either. And our manager is now on vacation so we cant ask what exactly he wants...
-
Client: "I've started as a software developer too" *chuckling* "so I understand EXACTLY what you say... But could you just explain me what do you mean with 'legacy code' ?"
Me: :|2 -
Google's hardware mega event tomorrow. So excited!
So what if I'm broke, I'll clap my hands instead! 😂7 -
So this is my conversation with my friend today, I feel so dumb.
*out of curiosity, after seeing his PC application*
me: Hey bro what make the GUI so simple what you use?
friend: theek hai.
me: Seriously bhai, what you use?
friend: I just told you ! I said theek hai!
me: *confused and thinking,*, what library for which language ?
friend: python bro.
me: *finally realise* you mean TK? omg..
friend: that's I was saying bro.
well i messed up hindi and english what is wrong with me?4 -
FUCK YOU EA. FUCK YOU AND YOUR CRAPPY SELLOUT GAMES. HOW CAN YOU BE SO BAD AT WHAT YOU'VE BEEN DOING FOR SO LONG.10
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I was so happy when Facebook introduced standalone Messenger web app so I wouldn't get so easy distracted from work by Facebook. Well guess what, I'm getting a new addiction in exchange: reading devRant
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So.... my colleague just used `var` for assigning every variable in Flutter.
What a wonderful day....1 -
Final exam gonna start in 2 days and here I'm contemplating what to do after exams(lots of stuff in mind).
I think everyone go through this and usual dilemma for choosing what to do.
So much to learn, so little time. Smh.. -
So here we are again:
Today, what would be the proper definition of a "fullstack developer"? What stack is required? Feels like PHP ain't there not more...12 -
Relative: What degree did you finish?
Me: Computer Engineering
Relative: So what do you do?
Me: I currently venture into software dev, networks, and firmware.
Relative: ..... Ah (Doesn't know what the heck I'm talking about) -
With just 5.8 percent women on SO, I wonder what the gender ratio in here, so my own survey - ++ if a guy, comment if a girl ;)
5 -
So after hating on Windows toda y I learned it now has bash, WTF.
And it is basically debian.
So.. what do we think about it?10 -
Ok, so i havent been coding in a while, but now i have somthing rant worthy!
So i was helping a project and THERE WAS NO FUCKING COMMENTS, I mean what the shit! Atleast add some comments its as easy as typing //, what has come of this world?2 -
Just because I didn't know the direction to work on doesn't mean I didn't do shit
Also, aren't you the professor so you please tell me what to do
And no you don't need to focus on the sample dataset I'm working on. Yes its name is "Breast Cancer" SO WHAT!!!2 -
So what is the best free Mongo DB client for Mac? What are you using aside from the command line?
I prefer good ui and features. Thanks! 👍5 -
So I was at my second meeting about a project I just joined as a volunteer. There's two teachers, me (1st semester CS), a guy almost graduating and a guy in the second semester. In the first meeting the teachers explained what the project's about and what we need to do. Me, wanting to show that I'm good hoping I'd get offered a paid position in the future, got to the second meeting with some stuff already done in Rust. Teachers mistook me for the 2nd semester student (which, by the way, thinks everything server-side is done in node.js) and told him it was a very good job "he" had done with the rust program. The fucker didn't say shit and just took all credit for what I did.
Later that day I sent an email to everyone with the repo link to make sure they knew I was the one that wrote the program and a month or two down the road I made some pretty awesome work while the other two just sat on their asses, so I think they know it was me.
Nonetheless, I got pretty pissed about that and kinda regret not saying anything at the meeting. I do think I kinda made the right choice of keeping quiet, trying to show team loyalty (?) or something like that.
Should I have done it differently? Would you say something at the meeting if it was you?5 -
OMFG, so I had a quick exam about Java but disagree with 2 answers. So I just want to know what you would have answered :
What does "String[] mytab" do ?
What are types for ?9 -
Been coding for over 5 years and today I'm going into a college exam about simple GUI with Windows Forms and simple class structures.. This will be so hard
-
$ git clone some/shit.git dir
$ cd dir
$ npm install
[literally ages later]
$ du -sh node_modules
441M node_modules
fucking what???!2 -
There are developer tools for Node which I understand what they do, but I don't understand what problem they are solving. It's everything so crazy
-
So is it feasible to develop iOS swift apps also using vscode? Is it smoother than Xcode?
What about android apps...android Studio is so slow, what all will I miss if I use vscode for Java/kotlin apps instead?4 -
K&R style Brackets are so goddamn shitty. I hate hate hate hate that style. It makes code so goddamn hard to read. And for what gain? You write "less" lines of code? So what? Who gives five fucks about that? Readability is key for coders.7
-
Me teaching my SO some coding:
"Oops permission error. Run the same command but start with `sudo`."
"What does `sudo` mean?"
"Super user"
"what about the -do?"
* confused pikachu face *2 -
Anyone else here a high school student that does programming for an FRC team? If so, what number? Also, what language?11
-
So basically Im in Saturday at my office, cause, well I dont have a life a guess, so I was wandering what do you guysdo on saturday6
-
So you guys, at what time exactly do you all sleep? Just wondering because i know what it takes to choose IT as profession. 😁
Always AM4 -
So what percentage of software projects just get rewritten to make sure people have jobs these days ?4
-
So I just changed from SublimeText to Atom and so far it's pretty neat. What do you guys think about Atom?22
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FUCKING UNITYMEDIA.
you know what pisses me off?
No?
THOUGHT SO.
WHEN THE INTERNET JSNT WKRMING, IM SO TRIGGERD FUCKI CKDJAJABALAMHSKDJSLAKSBSJN FUCK!1 -
Might be a little bit naive but software engineers have so much power over the society. What is gonna happen if we turn everything off until we get what we want?5
-
This took me an hour or more and ran into an off by 1 issue that I had to debug to find out...
I'm not sure how I can do this stuff in interviews... but now wondering how Languages actually do this...
https://gist.github.com/allanx2000/... -
So, somehow I got hands on a Google glass [yep that item which had it's hype go down]. Been wondering what I can do with it. Any ideas about what to do, what to develop for it, anything?5
-
What is this poison?! Everyone posting their desktop setups making me feel like buying so many stuffs!9
-
I hate all the companies who dont accept me i wish them just a little bit of iq they are so so so so mean😢
Goddddd what r u doing exactly?
Pleaseeeeeee do something a good thing plz😌5 -
Puppeteer, where have you been all my life?
Also anyone get a chance to check out cypress.io and uilicious and if so, what were your experiences? what would you recommend? -
I wonder what happened to devrant podcasts. They were so great. Are there any new episodes coming up?
What podcasts do you guys listen to?2 -
What had to be a nice day:
So last week a friend asked me if I wanted to come.
Some days (2) later I said ok and asked him what time.
I’m also doing a project with him (he isn’t a dev), so I thought I add new features and show him the ideas.
Yesterday he wrote a message: “My family is coming, Sorry, I need to cancel”
I’m so angry. I worked long on these features to make him happy, and show ideas. And then when nearly everything is done he cancels.
I don’t know what so tell him/do. What would you do?3 -
So, what happened to infrakit/deploykit? They ditched docker machine and I've missed the whole story.2
-
So im very comfused what people are creating in python. what are u guys making!
Just learned started merning the langauge and i wanna make some small dumb applications using it1 -
I don't like coding, but this machine is too stupid to read from my brain. So I have to type to make it so what I want.
-
What is consciousness? Can it be simulated? If so, is it possible with current hardware? What is thought? Is it an input or an output? Is it voluntary? Is there a gap between stimulus and response? If so, how large is it? What happens there? How do you know?22
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Agency people, do you offer support contracts, if so, what do charge and more importantly what do your customers get?
-
What kind of database do apps like Snapchat, Instagram, etc. use to store pictures and info. I'm guessing it is not MySQL, or Firebase, or Parse, so then what is it.7
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So i was wondering...
According to programmer, what features would the perfect backup software have ? 🤔🤔5 -
So, in a microservice or web service pattern what is most important unitary test or functional test?
-
Getting an ElasticSearch Developer training this week, anyone here been already? If so, what was it like?2
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