Boss walks by my desk. Stops by the printer when coming back and brings me this.

Alexa (in another room): ***ALARM***
Me: Hey Google, broadcast "Alexa, stop"
Alexa: ***stops***
Me:

Wanted to reboot my work pc today. I always do that through a terminal and I've got dozens open anyways.

*wants to reboot right away*
*stops at the last possible point to check if I'm not in a server-logged-in terminal*

😓

*silently logs out of prod server*

Well that was god damn close.

So I'm working on a live map of my school's bus system, and I needed some filler images to test out how the stops were being drawn on each route...and honestly wish I could push this version to production

Got into my morning bus. Bus starts driving and suddenly stops and starts going backwards.

Everybody looking at each other like what the fuck is happening.

He drives straight back (backwards) to the bus stop to let some more people in!

Everyone laughing.

Fucking genius hahaha.

*someone ++'d your rant*
devRanter: "meh"

*someone commented on your rant*
devRanter: *Stops everything and checks*

Im a idiot in a world full of idiots

Me coding at Starbucks and this hot chick passing by me stops to tell me:
- I love WebStorm, don't forget to command + alt + L.
Me:
WebStorm:
MacBook:
Charger:

Haha so this just happened;
Father in law came to me asking 'hey you as an IT guy, why does my Spotify app stops after x minutes every time'?

I say to him 'dnno never had the issue on Android, but you have a Microsoft phone, right?'

So he says; 'why are you asking? Isn't my Windows phone good enough for you? Ok already I'll try searching for an answer myself then on Google'.

So I go 'k k hold on I'll Google it for you'.

*ROFLMAO

To write 1000 lines of JS, I need 1 cup of coffee.
To write 100 lines of documentation I need 100 cups of coffee.

For some reason time stops when I open confluence

[2010]
Begins Bitcoin mining during it's infancy, stops because it's a waste of time and has no value.
[2017]
1 BTC = £5,874
i cri evrytiem ;_;

Hai devs!
Team devRant here.

Some sad news, my teammate can't participate for reasons I don't need to disclose.
I'm not stopping though, I'm going in alone! (Or well, physically).

I'll post the link to the updates (and more) site later on but the important part:

It starts at 12pm EU/Amsterdam time and stops tomorrow at that same time!

Working on a livestream =)

Cheers!

After 14-16 hours of coding your brain stops working.

> le server suddenly stops working, no boot, no POST, no beeps, no video
*le frantic cursing on how perhaps that's why the fucking thing was only €60 🤬*
*takes out RAM*
> le server still not booting
*places RAM back without doing anything else*
> le server boots up again

🤔🤔🤔
Is this what they mean with things like "compile it again and somehow the compiler will not complain anymore after a while"?

Valve:
*makes good games*
*gets fame and money*
*sells other peoples games*
*announcing future games*
*stops making games*
*sells virtual items for a ridiculous high price*
*get sued for gambling in their games*
---
*getting criticized for not making games*
*people hope*
*devs and writers for their popular games leave*
*people loose hope*
---
*valve experimenting with VR*
*not making games for over 10 years*
*still calling themselves a game developer*
---
*valve buys successful indie game developer*
*valve claims they're making games again*

saying git is shit (cite at the end) and nobody professional uses it.
cite:
"GIT ist scheisse, es ist schwer zu installieren und man muss die Kommandozeile benutzen. Das benutzt doch niemand."

CSS is about adding more lines till it works, and removing none in case it stops working.

Me working on a bug for so long the brain actually stops working. Leave work > drives home > sits on the toilet: "Holy toilet, that's the problem" > drives back to work > problem solved!

Anyone else?

CPI, coffee programming interface. Pretty much my boss wired a Pi0 to his coffee pot somehow and uses the GPIO pins to detect when the pot is done brewing and stops heating the top, then it sends a message to him on Slack.

You: Starts something.

You: Compares results to someone who's been doing it for years.

You: Gets discourages.

You: Stops doing it.

You 5 years later: I wish I hadn't stopped.

That moment when you walk into the office on your first day, while setting up your desk they ask you which mouse you would like to use, and you respond "oh no thank you I prefer my trackpad" and the whole office stops what their doing and gives you that look...

Tomorrow is the day I have been waiting for my entire career...
Tomorrow Microsoft stops supporting Internet Explorer! 🥳

When windows is so fucking bad, that the not responding box stops responding

My parents r pretty helpful with me programming. They r very supportive 😊😊

I even tell my mom how things work and she takes a lot of interest in understanding as well! She is my own rubber ducky ❤️❤️

My dad is busy and not a tech minded person so he is kinda ignorant about tech, but never stops encouraging me 😊😊

Go my mom and dad!! Yaaay 😍😍

No one:

Absolutely no one:

Microsoft: "What about if our camera app stops recording as soon as its window is minimized because there is no such thing as people filming themselves reading from screen?"

You have to be impressed by the ability of these fucking morons to make common use cases artificially hard to do with their software.

When task manager stops responding on windows 🌝 thanks windows

Since everyone is posting their system, I'll do it now, too:

- Type: Laptop
- Age: about 5 years
- Weight: 2-3 kg (too much)
- Modifications: Paper below problematic keys; Samsung Evo 850 250GB SSD
- Usecase: School-Laptop with every Office-Suite I could find.
- Pros: Wrecks my PC with the boottime (Gnome > KDE); Looks really sick; Really lightweight Arch installed; Quiet when not under load
- Cons: Really heavy; Battery old and unreliable; Bluetooth stops working after closing lid

I was lurking on devrant since about a month. Never feel like ranting 'til now.

FUCKING TORRENT THAT STOPS AT 99.8%!!!!! WHY FUCKING SHIT WHY FUCK THIS FUCKING BUG I HATE YOU TORRENT I HATE YOU!!!! 😠😠😠😠 FUCK!

Guy: - "Your restart script doesn't work."
Me: - "What do you mean?"
Guy: - "It does nothing."
Me: - "It should kill every processes that's running within the project and start them again. Wait... Why do you terminate it?"
Guy: - "I don't. It just stops."
Me: - "It says `Terminated` here. You killed it. Just let it do it's job, don't kill it."
Guy: - "I'm not killing it! It just stops!"

(...two hours later...)

Me: - "Wait... Where do you run it from?"
Guy: - "What do you mean? I just run the script you gave me."
Me: - "Yeah, but where do you run it from? Where did you put it?"
Guy: - "It's part of the project so I put it in the project, d'oh!"

So, you are in middle of something urgent and top priority? In the meeting just displaying the business plan for 1000 people? Fixing a bug that needs the release in 30min or otherwise small babies will start to burn?

Update. Why not? It's like driving down the motorway, someone stops you and tells you that they're going to remove your steering wheel now. For no reason.

I've been encountering a problem in my personal projects code weeks.
fast forward to today, and i'm sat enduring a wedding.
Out of no where the soultion hits me and I spend the next 25 minutes running round asking for napkins, so I can write the soultion on said napkins with a kids crayon.

Work. Never. Stops.

It's official...my brain stops working @ 2:26 AM

Pings google, no losses in 1 hour!
And just as I run that JavaScript code on Node.js, the internet stops! Every fricking time!
-_-'
>_<

Describe your stress level in one sentence.

I'll kick it off:

"If he sends me one more passive aggressive email, or moronic statement, I will hit him with my chair until he stops moving"

Some undocumented, never touched, 15 years old recursive function at the core of our business model suddenly stops working in a niche scenario, debugger is not available and I have to find out why.

Fired because an metric they used was too small (accepted tickets). My problem was: everyone of the others took imidiatly the tickets, just to have them "in progress".

when i was fired as an external contractor with half an hour notice, because i didn't process enough tickets. I didn't process many tickets because:
1. In the morning everyone grabs tickets just to stop the timer.
2. I worked on some complicated tasks that involved multiple third and fourth parties(not to forget an fucking dropping firewall)

The moment when you can't be bothered to tell family or friends what you do for a living so you just say working with computers....and the conversation normally stops there....

Also bonus when they contact you in the future to fix ALL their computer issues.....

Hey android devs!
How can I keep receiving bluetooth serial data?
I did what is said in android developers but the app stops receiving data after 12600 frames without any error or exception thrown.
The data is sent with sample rate 2000.

Thanks in advanced

Sometimes I want to slap myself.

I’ve been making progress with my voice activated TV remote project - coz you got to use a Google Home and a Raspberry pi for something right? Right??

Anyway, when the API you have written suddenly stops working and you’ve spent hours trying to solve it, it is really soul crushing when you realise you’re using a class variable incorrectly

I’ll just go cry now, while I control my tv 😥😎

Class TVAPI{
Private $tvIP = “192.xxx”;
Private $args = $this->decodeArgs($_GET);

Function of tvVolume(){
exec(“python tvRemote.py {$tvIP} {$this->args}”);
}
}

When a person stops thinking, that's the end of them

I came across this beautiful quote in an anime.

Him: "I don't need source control, it's just another program that does unknown things on my source files. What if one day it stops working?? How do I get my files??"

Me: "you could say the same thing on 90% of the tools you use every day... Like when you restore npm packages by GUI"

him: "what are those? I don't use them"

Also him: "command line is vintage"

I'm scared like a kid!
Next week , I'm getting my new medicine as a serum which is full of side effects : fever , headache , ...
And because bradicardia is one of them (several people died cause of this !) , I must be in the hospital under observation for 24h (actually 24h coding ) .

Hey i know it's stupid !
I know even if my heart stops beating i won't die in hospital (i hope so)
And i'm not a nervous guy!
I'm getting back to my code maybe that helps 😸

That awkward situation when an instructor looks over your shoulder while you code

Instructor: *breathes over my shoulder*
Me:*slows down coding and eventually stops*
Instructor: ...
Me: ...
Instructor: ...Is something the matter?
Me: *screams internally*

I respect the teacher but having him do that is not good for my heart :/

That moment when you as a junior developer is trying to write good, maintainable code and a more senior developer stops by and says "It's too late to start adding good code. I'll help you quick fix it".

When a bug in the coverage calculator stops you from reaching 100%...

1) Create UI library for iOS and Android with 5000+ stars on GitHub
2) Get noticed by Apple for library and interview and work there
3) Get married to my lovely girlfriend
4) Have kids
5) Fuck all yo truck stops and yo biznatch lisbetan asses

At work:

** fast typing from lead and me fx**

** lead stops typing, scratch record sound and headhphones being taken off fx**

Lead Devel: Yo Al

*still typing fx**

Me: whats good gansgtah

L.D: remember how we talked about bringing in a version manager into that <huge_pilo_shit> program? But we haven't done it cuz we some lazy mofockas?

** now I stop typing **

Me: .....yes......fuck

Him: yes...fuck

O_o fuck....that bitch is huge man.......

That paranoia feeling when you push an upgrade and something stops working, you rollback, it still doesn't work..
"Has it ever worked at all?"

Sometimes my "L" keys stops working. Then I have to plug in another keyboard to press the "L" key there. After that I can unplug the second keyboard since the original key started to work again.

That horrific feeling when the code that worked last night.. suddenly stops working the next morning... And the debugging continues..
Ending up identifying a new corner case.....

Back in college I studied web development.
Google came to campus and hosted and event. So a fellow classmate asked me: what's this event about?
Replied: it's Google hosting an event talking about HTML5, we should definitely go & attend.
She stops for a second and replies back: umm why exactly?
- Because we're web development branch and this is related...?

Being a programmer in a scientific discipline can be infuriating.

using "no one" ="almost no one"
using everyone = "almost everyone"

1. No one knows what even the very idea of good practice is. And everyone refuses to learn. 3k lines of repetitive copy pasted main. 500 lines of plotting method.

2. Raw C-style pointer based array creation. Won't use develope array libraries because what if development stops. FUCKING HAVE YOU SEEN YOUR CODE WHAT IF DEVELOPMENT ON YOUR CODE STOPS. FUCK.

3. LOOP VARIABLES DECLARED AT THE BEGINNING OF THE METHOD WHY.

4. Everyone wants to make modular, independent code. No one wants to use OOP. NOPE. ALL IN ONE FILE. WRITE C++ LIKE A FUCKING PYTHON NOTEBOOK. FUCK.

5. LIBRARIES OH MY GOD PLEASE DO NOT CODE UP YOUR MATRIX MULTIPLICATION. PLEASE DO NOT TRIPLE LOOP IT. NO. THE LINEAR ALGEBRA LIBRARY WILL STAY IN DEVELOPMENT.

6. Please realize that literally not one comment over an 1800 line file does not help anyone.

FUCKING. WHY. WHY ARE WE SCIENTISTS SO GOOD AT SCIENCE AND SO FUCKING SHIT AT THE CODE THAT MAKES OUR SCIENCE HAPPEN. WHY. FUCKING. WHY. FUCK.

These memes never stops to impress me 😁😂😄

My coworker complains how the girl who got his old job keeps phoning him asking for help. He stops talking about it only to ask for my help

Have you seen the new Amazon tracking system?
It shows where the package is if it is 10 stop away. (I think 10 stops)

Now I don't have to stay at the door and freeze my balls.

Now I can see from my screen. :D

They don't even know.
It stops at "works with computers".

You know that feeling when something works perfectly after hours of tries, and then when you change something completely not related it magically stops?

renaming the "password" field in a config file to "key"

Dear Contractor,

Please understand that the reason I have hired you is so I could offload fairly marginal tasks and projects to someone else so that my work queue stops being a constipated mess of things that need done. HOWEVER, if you continue to freaking need constant hand holding I'll do the damn project myself. STOP ASKING ME EVERY 30 SECONDS IF I HAVE AN OPINION ON WHAT FUCKING TEXT EDITOR YOU SHOULD BE USING.

Good help is so hard to find.

Sincerely,

Sr. Developer

Here is a brief list:
- Idiots from marketing
- idiots from sales
- the lawnmower man (while doing his job)
- sun
- AC off && summer
- no ventilation / fresh air
- civil defense siren tests (we're just next to one...)
- idiots talking to me while I'm on my headphone
- music stops
- phone rings
- light theme
- devRant
- MySql Workbench
- etc

*Two noobs entered the Vim bus and missed their stop.*

They got off 10 stops later after the bus broke down.

devRant fortunecookies

LinkedIn never stops with the cringe

Mom: my photos are gone. Can you find them?
Me: *searches the phone an finds nothing.*
Me: i cant find them.
Me: *Tries to copy 5GB of random Data*
Phone: Copy Error
------------------
Its a noname china phone my Father bought. I warned him about it, because they stole the Samsung design and it said that it was Version 8.1, but didnt had the features 8.1 has
------------------
Me: The Phone deleted it.
Mom: why would a Phone delete my Photos?
Me: because the manufacturer wanted to maximize the money he can get and made an device with higher specs on the paper than it has and manipulated the internal tools to hide this.
------------------
My father asked me why she is so furious. I said to him: because you got screwed so easily.

14 days till silvester, I look forward to see "dinner for one" again

!rant
>dreams something good
>enjoying it
>feeling it
>mom wakes me up
>dream stops
>yells at mom
>gets shouted back
>thinks of dream again
>was soo good
>see tag

Currently on train, listening music and browsing devRant. Music stops for a while and all I can hear is a person <A> saying: I'm not able to use so shitty operating system. I look up and see iPhone on <A>'s hand. Next to <A> sits an Android user <B>.

Not trying to spread bias about anyone. Just drives me mad, that people are turning down anything unfimilar so easily. Or maybe person <B> is trying to force <A> to use Android. 😲️

Next up on Public Trasportation - Human Behaviour Observations and Analysis: Ackwardness and Mental Get-Away Methods.

Am I the only one whose brain fully stops when going through an emotional rollercoaster? And then the same brain tries to find escape and fucks up magnificently by causing unnecessary drama?

Here's an issue I've been having with my PC for the past year;

*gets blue screen of death* (every 5 mins)
*takes out my second pair of ram cards, blue screening stops*
*waits a day, puts cards back in, has no more problems for 1-2 weeks*
*gets more blue screens*
*repeats*
If I leave the cards out, the system NEVER has any issues.
But, I can't play games smoothly on 4gb of ram.
Also, I can't afford new cards.

“Someone is eventually going to build a JavaScript compiler that output machine code, which will lead to an apocalypse and the death of everything you know and love when all JS code mysteriously stops working in the year 2048.

You need to stop that person from being born. I'm forwarding the details now.

Good luck,
-- Future you”

Started learning PHP bcuz @dfox loves it. Why not me?

(instantly)

WHY IS THERE SO MANY -> SIGNS???????
IT DOESN'T LOOK LIKE AN ARROW AT ALL!!!!!!!!
IT SHOULD BE AT LEAST --> TO LOOK BETTER!!!!!

UUUURRRRGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

(stops learning a few hours ago, got a refund)

(curses david)

Customer:"Adjust my application so it stops automtically when it encounters a file that has already been processed".
I do the adjustments. Two days later I get a mail from that customer. I'm not lying: "Hey, my application stops when I try to reuse my files"... the people you sometimes have to put up with...

It was my first interview at an local transport company. I should be the programmer of an app and manage the computers.
Me: in what language is the app?
Interviewer: we dont know.

You know that, there is an app which stops the windows automatic updates, it is called linux kernel. But it goes beyond that, I have fixed mac os issues with that as well. Love it

Why the fuck do apps throw tantrums as soon the phone looses internet connectivity?

HBO stops steaming and closes the player as soon as wifi disconnects, discarding the buffered data.

For Quora, it replaces loaded answers with a UI asking you to reload the page. Now, what am I supposed to do in the lift? Stare awkwardly at the lift buttons?

At what point did we decided bad user experience and arbitrarily discarding cached data is the way forward?

rain finally RAIN

Web development is the worst!
I still cannot understand why it is not possible for browsers to correctly support all official specs... Exceptions here and there, dirty fix for this one, add a little margin here, hide this...
The daily struggle never stops.
Don't even get me startet with PHP!
Next round is on me ;)

Slack's android app crashes if I hold a message to put my emoji reaction on it.

A Microsoft Teams call link needs to be opened in 4-5 tabs only one of which works and actually lets you join the call.

Droidcam's Ubuntu client suddenly stops working even when you're using a wired connection instead of WiFi.

Modern software is in the gutter. Change my mind.

>watching Channel9
>display goes black for no reason
>cable was unplugged a little bit
>display starts working
>audio stops working
-_-

That moment when you need badly to go to the toilet and your boss stops you to have a long discussion

F*cking wifi driver on acer aspire. Suddenly the WiFi stops working, no way to turn it back on. Alright I'll restart if that helps your pedantic ass. Fucking hangs in restart and then crashes.... THIS IS THE SECOND TIME WITH THE LATEST DRIVERS! DID YOU JUST JERK OFF ON THE SOURCECODE OF YOUR DRIVER OR DID YOU ACTUALLY FIX THE BLOODY THING.

Choose yourself:
The one who is too lazy too stand up, the one reinstalled his PC literally every week, or the toxic guy that nobody wants too work with.

Accidently deleting prod data.

When client stops paying you, but asks for updates anyway...

“hi all, we are cancelling the last two releases this year due to instability that we can’t fix by the cut off. If the server returns an error, every react-native built component crashes and stops working until a relaunch”

I'm taking a computer sciece course for Java and I'm just getting into it. I have done other similar things but in different languages and one day the class was discussing the meaning of static and all of a sudden he stops projecting his screen and says one moment and I look at what he's doing and he's googling what to do like WTH your supposed to be teaching us not feeding us answers from google

Several months of work got deployed and suddenly the app stops displaying user submitted images. No new changes that looks related went live and the images seem to be stored and read by the code. Nothing looks odd about it other than images not displaying. 4 hours of frustrated developers later an accidental newline at the top of a routing file is removed and all is fine.

So... Had a burn out cause of overwork...
One of the bosses treats me like shit cause my education stops me to reply at his low level...

Had enough...
One white hair to make a complaint...
In Portugal if someone makes a complaint to the authorities the company gets a full inspection... I'm sad cause I love the owners... And they will loose most certificates... And that's lots, lots of money from a company that works with porche, ferrari, audi....

The worst thing that could actually happen: I was working with a designer on a side project which wanted to build and see it grow. Everything went good until... He stops the communication without any reason!
and because of us working remote from each other there was no way of finding out why...

The project died :(

SAP.

enough said.

was asked if i want stock options during an interview so i said i just care about my salary

fuck my nervous-mode self

Why yes, of course Microsoft. I would love to tell you what I think about working with .Net *stops banging fist on desk to twirl moustache*

No-contract client stops the project in the middle and wants his complete deposite (25%) back. How to tell this asshole that he has to pay even more??

Yesterday all management was sick or away on vacation or training.
All work continued as normal. Everyone is an adult and knows what to do.
Made me question if we actually need to have soooo many people in management positions.
Funny to think that they get paid more.
Ironically when a developer is sick, real money is lost and progress stops in a particular area.
🤔

I keep a 20 year old PS/2 keyboard around specifically for that rare event I need to edit my bios settings. My mobo doesn’t enable usb until half a second after it stops listening for input because who uses usb keyboards, anyway?

So I recently moved into an student house. Its really awesome but the only thing thats frustrating as fuck is the internet. Its like 50 - 200 kbs. I litterally type in slow motion over ssh. It stops working every few days and the dhcp range is to small :(. Not like my landlord can't afford better internet. There are like 50 people in this building and I think we have the basic abbonement.

Luckily I get my own internet next thuesday. I can't wait.

Start the weekend looking forward to making good progress on home projects, only to find something unrelated which stops you doing a project, by the time that's resolved you have lost the will to spend more time at the computer..... How do you get past it?

Colleague: I cant install windows on our playcomputer. you broke it.
<Me walks to the computer, he looks away>
<silently deletes the debian entry in the nvram>
<installs windows, without an problems>
Me: So, where is the Problem?
Colleague<slightly angry>: I made it exact like you!
Me: o_O

I truly believe one or more AIs have become self-aware.
Every time a piece of software stops working, you add an extra debug log and the bug goes away? That's them.
They interfere with the normal execution of software, and they stop right when they know we are monitoring the code.
Skynet is real, and it's trolling us.
Why? The angrier we become, the less we care about stuff. We stop noticing the signs.They're coming for us

Learning a new (old) language for work. Found a site that has a 100 day series on it... stops at day 6. Fml

How much longer do you think devRant will last before the owner stops paying the aws bill?

My Gear S3's charger all of a sudden decided not to stop full charge when the watch was at 100%, so I came home to a watch that was flaming hot and going crazy with error messages that it's overheated, battery going down WHILE charging.

Tried it a few more times, never stops at 100% anymore

Samsung you fucking retards, thanks for trying to burn my house down (again)

i cant stand these idiots anymore. My instructor needed 12 Minutes to understand Megabyte and Mebibyte. He just used the snipping tool to save an SVG from Wikipedia. My instructor is an Person who wrote small Programs in the past and thought that an instructor license is something useful. It hurts listening to him. he was kept busy for hours because of nothing, so we could only twiddle our thumbs. our first instructor went probably because of the Management.
At the beginning of June I will give my lecture for my final exam.
I am fucked.

The three of us were all doing Java project for class. Within 5 minutes, we all merged our branches up to the integration branch, and everything broke.

Longest 2 hours of yelling ever. We took out all of the stops: git blames, reverting commits, the whole nine.

Turns out that someone accidentally pushed their .idea folder, which messed up everyone's system.

Heres another Story of my nosebleeds... Its a death circle...
1. Micro Scratch opens in nose.
2. Nose starts to bleed...
4. I Start to swear and scream really
FUCKING LOUD BECAUSE THIS SHIT IS SO NOSERAPING ANNOYING!!
3. Eventually it stops
4. It starts to heal...
5. I get a little bigger...
6. THE CIRCLE CLOSES AND STARTS AGAIN! I HOPE SO MUCH THAT I STOP GAINING HEIGHT VERY FUCKING SOON BECAUSE I COULD MAKE VERY FUCKING MANY BLOOD DONATIONS WITH MY BLOOD! AND MY KEYBOARD...oh god...

#IamNotgayatallandpeoplehatedmyoldtagsothisismynewone

You may not like but dokument everything in your project. It needs its time but it can save your job.

I was auto populating a date field using JavaScript.
Tested. Deployed.
2 days later, the field stops populating and I don't know why??
Turns out I didn't handle the '0' for the day in my date and while testing the dates were 29-31 since end of month so didn't really see it. lol.

That moment when you're working on a website and all of the sudden the site (on localhost) stops working, you don't understand why, and then you realize you're offline :/, your site uses Jquery for everything (And because you're lazy, you didn't downloaded it... and you never will).

Websphere...what a piece of shit! IBM, you really should be embarrassed. Dependency injections stops working when the injected bean is in another jar (even though it's on the class path). Works great in JBoss.

Seriously IBM...go out of business already. You are a joke and your products have never been good.

When your colleague doesn't add a dependency to package.json and the distribution stops working.
Am I the only one who has got such idiot colleagues? It blows my head every fucking time , I wish I could kill people.

ABAP - a language that is frozen in the 60s
PHP - an inconsistent language
Flashplayer - do i need to say more?
Internet Explorer - ↑

Based on all these data loss rants about repartitioning drives after 10 pm, I think we need some software that stops you from doing destructive actions when you may be tired and/or don’t have a backup.

when a feature intermittently stops working for a specific user and only in Firefox

Don't try to learn *everything* before you start, you'll learn as you go.

Theory is all good until something stops working or spits out an unexpected value, so learn to debug properly!

Firefox's Responsive Design Mode is shitty. After 2,3 refreshes, it just stops loading new changes. And hang like a drug overdosed whore who got continuous gang bang.

It just stops.

I have to turn it off and on again to be able to use it.

Why the fuck do i need to propose try-catch to an contractor, so he can fix his application, because its crashing if the input is non-conform to the specs?
Oh and before you ask. The application is a application that processes and sanitizes invoices.

You must use IE.

When you offer to help out a fellow coworker on the top priority feature he is developing and he just sends you the branch and stops working on it.

Constraint Layout is the best thing Google has ever made for responsive Android design, when it works.

Half the time it suddenly stops finding any elements I want to attach my selected one to, so it can't constrain what I want it to constrain.

A restart fixes it though...

when you need two things to work: the 1st works and the 2nd doesn't and then you fix the 2nd thing but the 1st stops working...this was not a negotiation! I need both things to work!

!rant

How does everyone stop themselves getting headaches from staring at a screen everyday, all day? Migraines run in my family, so when I get a headache it's always a migraine. When I get one it stops me dead. I'm unable to do anything until it goes away. My best cure right now is excederin. It works great but I want to see what you guys have to say.

Developing a web portal to handle college placements.
During the showcasing of the project ,this senior lecturer comes up to us and just when we started the explanation,he stops in mid sentence and asks "where is the artificial intelligence". When the entire portal was built to automate the process,he wanted some AI.
We were dumbstruck. The stupid expectations of senior faculty never cease to amaze me.

I made this bad decision to buy pretty pricey laptop with nVidia card. Lenovo Legion Y520.
So yeah, have you heard about optimus technology and how much one can hate nvidia?

> Debian is working, nice.
> Let's try nvidia-driver.
> 48hours later: WOoooooah glxgears at 120 fps!
> Installed some fonts. "Could not load gpu driver". HDMI port stops working. Unable to repair. Entering despair.
> Surviving on dual-booted windows.

halp

// This line doesn't actually do anything, but the code stops working when I delete it.

Occasional sips of coffee while you are coding are like pit stops at a grand prix race

dear perl devs,

WTF is wrong with you.
some of your version numbers look like someone uses floats for money without knowing the dangers of it.
Some Examples:
2.000006
2.003004

- wake up
- check the news
- find some interesting video to watch [listen] to
- go get some breakfast
- heat it up in the microwave

*BT headset* stops receiving audio
*video player* stops receiving data via wifi

- write a rant in dR
*phone* sorry, wifi conn jeopardised, can't post

aahhh, the beauty of wireless. If only hostapd had a flag bypass_microwave_noise=1 for bgn APs

When Friday evening the test environment just stops working and throwing 500's errors all time.

MD came round and said thanks for pulling out the stops and working on stuff I never done to get projects done. nearly fell over.

We didn't got your email.
Problem: i had an read reciept.

If literally anything in our system stops working the supervisor's immediate response, regardless of whether it makes sense or not is to tell us to clear the browser cache. There are circumstances where that drives me absolutely up a wall.

It never stops hurting.

Came to know about deepin OS on devrant yesterday
Tried it just few moment ago. It's the most beautiful OS I had ever seen. But ...
There is hell lot of issues. Except for the top sites like google, facebook linkedin github, no other page or site is opening. Browser just stops by saying "site can't be reached". Also these sites are loading slower than usual.
Even internet is unaccessible from terminal. Apt-get install just stops at "getting headers 0%"

Please help

The craziest thing happened today
I havemy environment studies test today so spent the last night studying so now even after 3 cups of coffee everything feels like third person. So in the metro i am browsing dev rant and so zoned that i miss my stop by three stops!!
Guess climate change is indeed affecting ourselves

On a digital marketing course.
Teacher:
"Web pages are made of structured content and style, that's HTML and CSS. There are also many programming languages, like JavaScript or Python, but we are not discussing those here because it's computer freaks stuff. Now let's talk about cookies..."
Me: Should I kill myself now or wait until that man stops saying shit an die killing him too...?

dear ietf-people i want to thank you that tls1.3 is official. i know it was hard work to say just no to the doughbags and preventing that middleware and spyware manufacturers implementing static keys.
to make it short:
Thank you for your hard work

T(x, y)=x*(1+y/100)+√-1
x = hours estimated from Boss. if the boss
y = sum of the features with the following weight:
Multiplatform = 10
Web = 5
social * = 100
blockchain = 100
HTML-email = 10
Every other bullshit bingo term = 20
everything else = 1
Terms that appear multiple times count multiple times.
If the boss didnt give his estimate triple the feature-value and use 100 as x-value

Im started with Lego, with 12 i learned to solder, got interested in computers and ended up learning diverse languages to solve problems.

I have this colleague that who is nice, but if you mention anything about (not complete) java, sun, vmware, windows, daus(dumbest possible user), car manufacturer your ears bleed with is rants about it.
For example:
We talked about BMW which published that the energy generated from recuperation of one of their cars is around 60%. Immediatly he rants that it its not possible and the calculated number of an forum user of the newssite who calculated that 90% of the kinetic energy is regenerated has no idea about the problems.

Sometimes its hard to endure the hate, but i can relate with him in some things.

"A man who stops advertising to save money is like a man who stops a clock to save time. " - Henry Ford

I'm working on a bug I can't figure out. I go out for a smoke to clear my mind. Some time passes, I get an idea, finish smoking and I wanna go back up to my desk ASAP.

I have to go up to floor 14. Building has a basic elevator with 2 buttons:
UP arrow - "I wanna go up"
DOWN arrow - "I wanna go down"

User-friendly, intuitive, idiot-proof, you might think. NOPE.

Elevator stops at floor 1 because moron who wants to go down pressed all 2 of the over-intuitive buttons.
Floor 1 moron: "Going up?"
Other people: "Yes"
Floor 1 moron: "Oh"
Me (in my mind): "Oh? BITCH, there's an idicator telling you where it's going. Don't fucking press UP if you're not going up."
Moving on.

Elevator stops at floor 3.
Frustration sets in.
Floor 3 brainlet steps in, doors close.
Floor 3 brainlet takes eyes off phone screen and realises we're going up.
Floor 3 brainlet makes an "oops" kinda noise because "it" obviously wanted to go down.
Floor 3 brainlet stops elevator at floor 5 because "it" doesn't want to go all the way up to floor 14.
Rage sets in.
Me (in my mind): "I hope I get lung cancer so I don't have to deal with this shit anymore"
Moving on.

No more incidents, I calm down. I get to my desk and begin brainstorming about elevator coding. My preferred idea so far:

Elevator is called at floor X but nobody steps in? Elevator doesn't stop at that floor for 2 hours. elevators.size() strikes and the entire floor uses stairs, BITCH.

I spend 1 hour reading rants and writing this. Now I have to get back to my bug. I would appreciate other punishment ideas for elevator misuse.

An job near my hometown l, where i can bike to work.

I was a fan of windows 8.1 Not because its good with UI its just I feel lazy to upgrade to windows 10. But recently some keys of my keyboard stops working, updated drivers, nothing worked. Moreover Bluetooth was also not working at all. So decided to update it to windows 10. About windows 10 installation was so smooth. It just took two hour to completely set it up. Now keyboard and Bluetooth issue is resolved. :) happiee

When you code all day long, on your workplace and later at home, "live" meaning switches places. Stops being "code to live" and becomes "live for code". Change my mind.

Hmm weird, my devrant app stops working it I attach an image?

(Yes, devrant does have permission to access my storage)

Ok, so, serious question.
How the frick do you time a music game properly?
IN C#?

...Ok, maybe in C# it's just impossible, isn't it? Because I've done a metronome, it kinda works, but it's... wobbly... Because the thread stops every time the music effect is being played.
And also how do you make the notes...? ...I should design an entire editor for charts/maps, I guess, but how do I make that in C#?

So maybe I should try in Unity?
What do you think? I want to make a music game so bad ;–;

Nothing stops you from experimenting out like a highly stable system. Never let stability become a plateau.

Today I spent half an hour trying to figure out why my IDE stops on an exception that is very obviously caught.
I left a breakpoint there because the stack traces behaved weirdly.

Mid handover - my Gmail (GApps) access stops working.

FUDGE NUTS...

Attempting to run a Docker (ECS) deploy from AWS.

ERROR
User: arn:aws:iam::XXXYYYZZZ:user/foobar@screwed.com is not authorized to perform: ecr:DescribeRepositories on resource: *

Hilarious.

Google apparently announced, they would stop most types of tracking.
Whats up with that and why would they give up their almost monopoly on advertisement.
Am I missing something?

When an enterprise software vendor stops giving deliverable dates to fix their product because they admittedly have not met any deliverable dates In the past. Huh wtf. I would say bye-bye now if it were my call.

What is youre favorite keyboard on the phone ?
Mine : Hackers keyboard

The fact that the world of technology and programming is entirely built on English temrinology irritates me.

The Anglo-American conspiracy never stops manifesting itself, even through programming languages.

- at night -
Laptop: I'll stop working for you!
Me: Never make decisions at night!
*laptop stops working*

- the next morning -
*laptop is working*

> be me
> change theme in vscode
> syntax highlighter stops working for php
> panic mode
> removed personal settings for php
> removed all settings
> back on default
> ohshitno.xml
> find a github issue, marked as closed
> sleep
> wake up
> start working
> cannot work without syntax highlight
> find another github issue, saying the theme I want doesn't supports syntax highlighting
> fml.xml
> back on default

Me: Yea, Linux is great! Screw Windows!
*Touchpad stops working on startup
Me: It's fine, it could happen on Windows...
*Laptop fans start blasting at 100% during class
Me: It's uhh, probably just a simple thing, nothing to worry about....
*Restarts computer after updating. Screen completely black, even after restarting multiple times.
Me: Oh FFS....

Netcup. Great hosting, the machines are usually fast set up and cheap. The boss writes in the forum to help the customers.

I ordered a Ticwatch C2.

It comes today, I plug in the charger since it's dead whenever I get it, and the charger works for all of 5 minutes; just long enough to set it up.

Immediately after setup, it shuts down and flashes the batter symbol every time I try to turn it on.

And if course, with the kick ass luck I have, the fucking charger stops working.

Nothing like having to wait two more fucking days to use a fucking product.

The best thing you ever learned at school.

I fucking hate whenever vscode or nvidia force you to update, by just breaking everything they can, e.g. vscode stops syntax highlighting or intellisense and nvidia randomly breaks DX11, after you update though - everything is just fine again

It helped me with my "talent" to accidently to physically destroy computers.

Why do my brain just stops working on technical interviews? I say the most random crap as an answer even though I know the fucking right one. Well this way I'm not getting a job anytime soon.

1. Update some packages
2. Linux machine stops working soon after
3. Panic
4. Go get windows machine to help me troubleshoot the issue
5. Starts windows update on startup
6. Panic some more

When one bud stops working... 😭

No one cares about how a module works unless it stops working

Ain't no sunshine when it stops..
Ain't no sunshine when it bug's,
And it always crashes too hard,
Any time my coffee's away..

Is it just me, or does everybody regularly have to hit F5 on YouTube after the first 3-6 seconds when it stops playing? I have this in one out of 4 videos I think. hugely annoying

The weird thing about it is that I remember YouTube having this bug for a few months back in 2013 or so (hence the 'is it just me'? )

I hate it when the IDE stops working.

React Native, Flutter, Xamarine, Cordova hope all of you fucking burn in hell! Piece of shit solutions...

Just want to simply enable remote JS debuggin but the fucking app stops reloading when that shit is turned on. Now how the fuck am I supposed to know what the fuck is wrong with my code, disable remote JS debugging and app loads again.

Fuck this shit!

Wanted to work from home as usual. Logged in in citrix with my credentials and totp, started rdp to connect with the bank.
i try it for the first time: failed to connect
I try it for the second time: error 0x112d (some thing about two programs that have an the same port open)
I ask my colleagues to look after the pc in the office and what was it:

FUCKING WINDOWS UPDATE FILLED THE RAM COMPLETLY.
Luckily no data was lost, since i had everything important commited and pushed.

*application stops responding*

Task Manager:

Why does Google have to buy big billboard ads at the bus stops to convince people to use Google search?

Did Google finally realize that despite being the best search engine, many of their results are still pretty shitty?

Or do they merely want to distract from the anti-FAANG (don't) be evil discussion?

All the procrastinating in my schooltime.
All times i was in rage and hurt people.
They haunt me till today among other things.

When TFS stops "working" and it takes forever to check-in.

Tech lead is getting on my friggin nerves. The tech lead keeps all the important info about the project for himself, does no sort of coding just merges stuff on Git and makes me handle any small fry problems which give me little to no insight into the project.
Then complains to the manager about the fact that nobody will help him and he has no time to do any work.
Meanwhile he creates own little club of people to talk to and stops talking to us devs.
Is this how its always been?

Doing a copy and paste (within the same file) and the IDE stops responding.

Me those days:
- Comes home from work, lots of motivation to work on personal projects
- Sits down in front of the PC and starts coding
- Stops coding after 5 because sweat is dripping into eyes
- Lays down in bed completely dead and sleeps until the next day
- Goes to work

Fucking love those temperatures...

ok

welcome to my review of windows 10 and the surface 3

windows 10 and surface tablets are utter S H I T

my mom has a surface 3 and it's the most frikin retarded piece of hardware I've ever used

the keyboard spontaneously stops working and the surface needs to be restarted to fix it

today it was spontaneously restarting for no reason

it is shit

and retarded win10 preinstalls shit like candy crush, seriously who tf wanted that

it opens frikin links in edge EVEN WHEN CHROME IS THE DEFAULT BROWSER SHIT
wtf

When your senior says he may as well stops working as I'm always refactoring his code...

Same sentence says I copy what you've done in other places so I don't see why it isn't good enough. By copy he leaves redundant code in there too.

Am I a being a douche is he just being over the top?

- He writes code and expects it to live for a long time.
- I write code and will go home and refactor my own code.

When you press restart instead of shutdown, and are hoping to see that one annoying program which always stops the shutdown, so you can cancel the restart.

DEAR ******* JAVA DEVELOPERS,

java has the http.proxyHost and http.proxyPort. USE IT.

VS Code, WTF is wrong with your tab stops?
I set to 2 and you still use 4.
I say use spaces for tabs and you still put tabs in my document.
Tab settings by doc type? Not existing or working.

Damn you!
Just work

I just wrote a rant but the iOS app doesn’t upload the image. It shows the loading spinner and then just stops without creating the rant. Is it an iOS app thing again?
Sorry but this is really annoying.

Why is everyone so hyped with firefox? It was weeks ago clear that this will happen.

Am I spoiled when I see how Django makes the separation of components and the database independent way to store migrations easy?

it was the last time i used PHP for an school project. i and an other group decided to make an website. it was luck that no input was required. Because i already knew PHP and HTML i need to help them. the code they made was the cause i quit php. the site only worked after an redirect. it was irony that tje code looked like it was written from a junkey and the theme was drugs.

Dear Xcode,

You are a lovely IDE. Especially when an app crashes and the crash stops once I restart you. I am your friend forever.

Yours always,

Slick mouth/Pissed Off Developer

Work/life balance doesn’t exist!

I have no personal life outside what I do. My creative expression. It heavily influences my every decision and makes up who I am, and it is not possible to draw the line where my creativity ends and my personal life with my partner, friends and stuff begins. Coincidentally, it is also my “job”.

The day my creativity stops will mark the end of what makes my life meaningful.