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A client wanted me to make a website that compared the users face to that of a wrestler. We had done a lot of work, but now he wants to switch it...
to pornstars.
So, I guess the next week of my work is gonna be scraping porn websites. NSFW, for work.23 -
Providing work estimation:
Dev: This should take about 2 weeks
Non dev: Really? But it's so simple. Shouldn't be that long right? I think it can be done in one week.
*After one week*
Non dev: Why is it still not done? I thought you only need one week?9 -
* Starts work with boss
* Works till night
* Decide to continue the next day
* Both leave work at the same time
* Both arrive at work next day at the same time
"Hey is the work done?"
Oh forgive me for not fucking dreaming up the work in my fucking sleep.5 -
Client: "This feature doesn't work! I thought you said it was done?!"
Me: "Please press CTRL+F5 and try again..."
Client: "Okay, great, works now."
A conversation I seem to have on a very regular basis.8 -
It's funny how a man gets something done and gets a "Good work, John!".
But, a woman gets the same thing done, and gets "Good work, team!".
#RealFuckingStory #ItHappenedToMe40 -
📍Developers
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📍 Getting work done |
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📍Change and customise the latest Linux distro6 -
My dream project is to work on a Hollywood grade raytracing engine (Pixar Renderman, Disney Hyperion,...) I have done some hobby grade ones like to produce the image here
6 -
Working from home in 2020:
Both kids haven't interrupted me in an unusually long time.... That likely means they're up to no good.
On the other hand I'm getting a lot of coding done (bunch of fixes done / misc new tasks done).
So now I sort of do a little mental math to guess if the damage they might be doing is less than the value of me getting shit done for work....18 -
"Only stay late at work when it makes sense to, otherwise always leave on time. There's always going to be work left, no matter how much you get done in one day."
Best advice ever.
Edit: I have to say it was during my first week in my first recent grad job.2 -
I love coming home from classes to get some work done on my setup.
My thought is; if I'm going to be sitting here for hours at a time working, may as well make it a comfortable environment.
45 -
It’s one-on-one time yet again this week!
I have a 1:1 with my boss every Thursday from 11:30am to 12:00 noon. They often run 45 minutes instead of the planned 30.
Why do I have these? I complained that I have too many meetings, and that it’s hard to get my work done around them (especially while burned out). So as a remedy he scheduled a weekly meeting, every Thursday, so he can make sure I’m getting enough work done. Totally makes sense, right?
And every Thursday he’s 15-25 minutes late. And because they always run long, I lose a full hour or more of time I could have used to get my work done. See the problem?
Today he was 36 minutes late.
Seriously, how disrespectful can he be?24 -
Hello world! I'm new here. Discovered devRant randomly and I'm so happy I did 😊 Problem is, I can't seem to get any work done now that I'm reading rants all day long 🙃10
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Me: Alright today I'm going to work on X, Y, and Z because that's what we planned yesterday.
(10 Minutes into the day)
Boss: We need you to work on A, B, and C. These need to be done today.
Me: What about X, Y, and Z?
B: You have new priorities.
(30 Minutes later)
B: What's your status on X, Y and Z? You think it'll be done today?
M: (Forwards email about new priorities)
B: I'm coming down to talk with you.
WHY.7 -
Me: Listen dude, the code worked perfectly and all the test cases passed so I'm done here.
Also me: What is this? What the fuck is this? Why does this work? What witchcraft is this?
*Screams internally*1 -
Management had the idea to have a hackathon on saturday. Everybody should gather ideas what to do on this day, but top priority is to have fun.
In the end, management decided that we should work on tasks from our backlog.
Yeah... unpaid work on saturday... sounds like fun10 -
I'm starting to fucking hate the word 'done'.
Scenario 1:
Boss: How's the spec coming along?
Manager: Oh, it's done.
Manager to me: Hey can you get it done?
Me: Why would you call it done? There's a days worth of work and it's only half done. Boss wasn't even rushing it yet.
Manager: Too late I've already committed it. I'm sure it's simple anyway. Just do it.
Scenario 2:
Manager: Hey is it done?
Noob dev: Yea it's done.
*Commits half assed incomplete sphagetti shit that breaks stuff*
Manager: Well done. Completed so quickly.
FUCK THIS SHIT.2 -
I'm done with this fuckin shit.
Why it doesnt even work.
Fuck it. I will look at it tomorrow.
*after 5 mins*
opens terminal, editor:
- o boi, let's go again2 -
-Look at super hacky code for 30 minutes
-Ask yourself, how did this ever work, guy must have been an idiot
-Check annotations, you committed it
-"Dear God past self, what have you done..."3 -
SCRUMS ARE SUPPOSED TO BE 15 MINUTES, NOT FUCKING 1.5 HOURS
People who like hearing themselves talk shouldn't be in charge of meetings. We can't get the work done if you keep having meetings to talk about us getting the work done.6 -
My friend introduced me to rick&morty.
My weekend mostly consisted of me getting schwifty®.
Instead of getting work done.4 -
There was once this customer, which wanted a project done. It was for around 2/3 weeks of work. The arranged cost was 500€, but when I said how long I'll need, he said:
No. I need it done in 5 days. Every day over, I deduct 50€ from the payment.
I was out of the building in less than a minute.
Fuck this type of customers.10 -
I'm alone in the office today and already done a lot of work. How can I be so much more productive when nobody is around.10
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I need to explain to a client how pc work. I use this image. Now every time my client explain what a pc is start talking with "it worked like a WC"... What I have done?
7 -
So we outsourced a system.
It was the most stupid thing we could've done.
It's my job to make it fucking work.
5 -
I tend to respect project managers who came from production (ie. who can code, design, or produce something tangible), vs. "professional" managers who have no idea how the work is actually done.
Sadly I didn't encounter many.5 -
If im fine using Windows and getting my work done, i really couldn't care less about your Linux suggestion25
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Me, whenever i work with something other than java: "Wow, this could be done so much easier with java"17
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Work: there is little work for our freelancer we're getting rid of him at the end of the year
Me: are you sure, that will put a lot of work on my schedule.
Work: I'm sure you can handle it
*two weeks later*
Work: have you finished feature xyz yet
Me: nope had a server crash today so pushed it back
Work: why didn't you get "free lancers name here" to do it for you
Me: I could of if you didn't fire him, he could of also done the other features you want too
Work: ah ok1 -
I'm averaging 3 hours a day outside of meetings. Mostly in 30 minute blocks.
Manager is wondering why I can't get work done...5 -
To the people talking about boats on the other side of the cubical wall, FUCK YOU! YOU HAVE BEEN TALKING FOR 45 MINUTES! DO YOU WORK? I HOPE YOUR BOATS ALL GET RUST. I worked 12 hours on Sunday, got 4 hours of sleep, pulling a full day, then depending on how much work I get done work all night again. RESPECT MY QUIET ZONE!!! Uncouth peasants!13
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It's a satisfying moment when you actually get work done on a personal project. It's comforting knowing I am capable of not being a lazy shit all the time. Gotta keep this up.1
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Personal Project:
Code lives in gitrepo, commits to master are automatically unit tested and if all tests work it will be published to production
At Work:
"If you're done put this .bat in the project folder, it will copy everything in it per ftp to production"1 -
!rant
finally i finished a project and released my first game in google play!
very satisfaction, much wow.
now creating a list of features i will add in future updates, working on a marketing campaign and building concepts for future projects.19 -
Anyone work with other developers who take 3 times as long as you to do things, spend all day talking, get nothing done, so you have to pick up the slack? Fucking annoying.2
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There are days I work hard and nobody notices. Today I have done almost nothing and nobody notices.
Independence is bittersweet3 -
My company went remote since the outbreak, surprisingly, more work was getting done, so we are completely remote.3
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Do you know what's better than getting work done. HAVING ANOTHER F****ING MEETING ABOUT WHAT WORK NEEDS TO BE DONE!
I COULD'VE HAD MOST OF THIS SHIT DONE BY NOW BUT I HAVE TO SPEND 1/2 OF EVERY DAY JUST EXPLAINING WHAT THE F***K I'M DOING, WHAT THE F**K EVERYONE ELSE IS DOING, AND THEN EXPLAINING WHY IT HASN"T BEEN F***ING DONE!
YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY EVERYONE IS LEAVING WHY YOU CAN'T RETAIN ANYONE? YOU HIRED THEM AS FREAKING ENGINEERS PROMISING THEM THEY WOULD BE ABLE TO DO THINGS AND THEY SPEND ALL DAY IN F***ING MEETINGS WASTING THEIR IQ AND WISHING FOR DEATH!
GGAAAHHHHH! BY THE EMPEROR PLEASE COMMISSAR END ME!4 -
[doesn't do any work for like 3 days]
"I guess it's about time I got something done"
[opens laptop]
3 -
Just moved to my own place, got more work done in 48hrs than I could've in a double that time with flatmates around. 💃👯
Now about that monitor setup...6 -
A follow up from my previous rant about a dev colleague in the security company we work for consistently forgetting to lock his screen...he's done it again, so I made him a dickbutt loop this time
6 -
So...my first experience with Scrum. How many fucking energy and productivity draining meetings can you squeeze in to two weeks?!!!! Agile? Hahaha. Don't get me started! Leave me alone and let me get some work done!4
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RANT!
I need to stop Procrastinating FFS.
I have a todo list bigger than my arm and just can't seem to get anything done.
Any tips to beat Procrastination?.
And just don't procrastinate doesn't work 😂.13 -
Some free time at the weekend. My immediate thoughts are "Ooh, I could get some work done to get ahead on Monday"
The cons of your job as a hobby! -
My team are so needy and incapable of figuring anything out independently that I've basically not got any of my sprint tasks done so far. So today I told them that I was working from home for a day to actually get done work done, but I'm on Slack if they really need me.
The only observable difference now is that instead of just bugging me, they start every conversation with, "sorry, I know you're busy, but..."3 -
When you wear headphones without playing any music, and avoid anyone's line of sight to get work done
5 -
!rant
I've installed devRantron on my Mac and I gotta say it's perfect. Keep going guys, you've done amazing work!1 -
Nothing like staying late at work to finish other people's work that they can't get done in time because they were doing side projects. Nevermind that I have two huge deadlines myself. Getting really tired of cleaning up other people's messes.4
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😸:oh hi, i came in early to checkout this game, but i was just about to get off and start work.
😎:I'm not your boss. I don't caire what you do.
👺:I am your boss, and as long as you get the work done, on time, and done well, I don't care if it looks lie you are doing nothing but being paid to play games. If anyone does bother you about playing games at work let me and I will let them know to leave you alone.3 -
Sometimes you just have to kick your wife and kids out on a beautiful day so you can get some work done.4
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That feeling when you find out a client you've done work for, for several months hadn't payed us this whole time...
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No work done today, yesterday or the day before that.
Reason?
THE BOSS BROUGHT HIS PUPPY!
PUPPYCUDDLES are a totally legit reason for not working 😁
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I started doing this internship(my first internship; unpaid). I worked my ass off for the guy. He didn't have shit for a developer and I worked the best to my knowledge. Did all the work given to me during the internship.
After the internship was done, the guy expected me to work even after that because he felt that I owed him something for giving me the internship and I should feel obliged to work more for free. I asked for money. Nope.
Final Talk with him: He says I am a disrespectful fellow who will never succeed in industry.
This is fucking crazy right. He is the son of a bitch not me? Correct? Was I supposed to work after internship if the work wasn't done even if I didn't want to.5 -
I just spent 2 hours customizing Atom and didn't get any work done.
No sleep for me today I guess...2 -
Working in a tech company as a project manager, the CEO asked me: a client requested to code the frontend with something call active java, are you familiar with it?
Me: well, it must be a new tech.."searched online..", no results found.
After calling the client, he was asking about React native.🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️ -
Find out this week if the internship I've been doing will be turned in to a permanent position... Tanking myself! Doing some work this weekend to make sure I've done the best I can do prove myself.2
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Germans get made fun of for being focused on work and not wanting to have fun (at work).
But it's exactly what I like about them. I would join and work at a German company in a split second.
Fuck all the small talks and fun Fridays, let's just get the work done, get paid and go home and have fun at home.22 -
I swear my ISP has already done away with net neutrality. My connection is always going out whenever I need to look something up for work.3
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Funny how human brains are never satisfied.
Not much to be done at work today? My job is unproductive and I am wasting my time.
Too much work? You think you fucking own me, bitches!!1 -
I'm surprised how much work I got done today. Was working in a cafe with my girlfriend. So productive.
Then I get home and think I'll continue the flow but here I am.....Just being a potato1 -
I'm feeling so lonely at work. No one is interested in talking to me. They talk only when they need something done.
I've been and I did my best being nice to everyone ☹️18 -
If a tree falls over in the woods..
And important dev work gets done and shipped,
And it's not in JIRA.. did it even really happen..5 -
Time management tips one must follow to be successful:-
1. Remove distractions:- Phone, Whatsapp, Instagram, FB, etc. All away from you during work.
2. Remove clutters: Get rid of not required things.
3. Eliminate redundancy
4. Emulate others: (My favourite) If someone has spend time and done some work. Do not reinvent the same work done just replicate that work and continue from that point.
5. Share burden: Team work and depending on others is not bad.
6. Make work fun: Most important if you enjoy your work you will give your best.5 -
client: use THIS color for the background.
me: work work work
done.
client: ohhhh that's too colorful.3 -
"you got all that done in a day?"
that's what happens when you work *with* your framework instead of against it1 -
Potential client: "We need this project done, but don't have much of a budget. But, if it's successful, could result in a lot more work."
If you want me to invest in your company, offer stock.
FFS.4 -
Today my boss told me to work more properly, because the massive feature I'm working is only halfway done.
Well thank you very much, obviously it's only halfway done yet. I'm responsible for the backend and the development for the frontend started today, by another guy who was working on another stuff until now. And I'm pretty sure we agreed that I will only do the backend...
Thanks for the uncalled critique. Great way to make me feel like my work is not appreciated. This motivated me very much to work the whole on the integration.2 -
Ever have those days where you come into work thinking "Yes! I'm going to get so much done today!" and then you sit down at your computer and state blankly at your screen for a few hours?3
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I really start to lose motivation to work when working from home..
I find myself watching YouTube videos for 4-5h a day instead of working..
Still get my sprint work done but man, it’s so boring after a year at home..8 -
Soooo... This happened
Then I got to fill a Google form, there they're asking my hourly price. I've never done such *paid* work. I'm a 2nd year undergrad, what price should I set?
Please help!
10 -
Just commited to my repo ; last commit was 6 days ago. I'm happy, finally decided what algorithm i'll use and implemented it !! :)
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Work: We're gonna add another project to you. Nice, so thats 3 now. Oh, and get 2 of them done by the end of this month please. Thanks.
Me: ...
Me: ha ha ha3 -
Me: oh boy i have so much fun stuff planned for this weekend, better get my work done before it
My immune system: here have this flu with some pink eye on top2 -
Not being motivated enough to work on or finish personal projects.
Apparently, easier said, than done when you have a full-time Dev job.1 -
I saw a rant about overtime or staying late if your boss is still at the office.
It's the same in a(lmost all i think) Japanese Company.
9:00-18:00 work schedule.
Come in earlier than your boss before actual work schedule.
Go home after your boss after the actual work schedule.
There's no more work to be done and they think you going home early weren't doing enough work and shit.
Good think i left that company.3 -
Me: I have so much to do! How the hell am I going to get all this done?!
**hears someone say something about some framework/library I don't know**
Me: hmmm let me google that real quick then I'll get back to work...
**3 hours later**
Me: damnit! I'm never going to get my work done! -
Still have work to do on this one, but just in case I f*** up the shading, here’s the work in progress. Took me literally five attempts to get the whole quote done. Kept running out of space or writing the wrong word. *shakes fist*
6 -
Is it bad that I'm excited about going back to work from tomorrow?
Like, I haven't even done jackshit throughout the break, and so it won't be easy jumping back in with both feet.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯7 -
Damit I always get in trouble after I give a deadline to any task :/
My estimation of work done is poor4 -
Stupid fucking idiot startup asshole hired me as an intern. Promised me the money after the work is done. We were friendly during the internship. The work is done and now it's been a week and still no money yet. He's saying it'll take some time. To beat you to shit it'll take some time you asshole!
Lesson learned: Never ever be friendly with the guy who hires you. Like never!!
Also money later isn't a good thing.8 -
Freelance client calls freaking out because she needed the website changes done by yesterday morning because she had some huge meeting with potential investors....
I feel bad but I don't, she never told me anything about needing it done by Sunday morning.
This is exactly why I hate freelance work. Lack of communication and then they blame you5 -
Decided to work from home today to get some solid work done, and I now get a fucking guy with a leaf blower right outside our place!
😒😡1 -
I can get a lot more done working in Starbucks, than from my own desk at work or home. Wonder if anyone else is the same way5
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So how the fuck am I meant to get any work done with no admin access to my machine, no access to the databases I need to work with, firewall rules stopping me from doing anything from AWS so I can’t get to my data? Deadline in about a week... fuck that noise!5
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tell my boss on Friday that I'll work through the weekend to get done work done on some python code.
he doesn't give out vpn access so I can't use our company git so I put the project on a flash drive to work on.
come into work and I have an email. on Sunday he did everything I said I was doing (and had done) and then refactors the entire repo so even if he hadn't done the work, all of what I did became useless.
His way is the only way. but good luck getting him to tell you how he wants it. you just have to do a bunch of work only for him to tell you he doesn't like the way you did things and then he does it himself.
makes me realize why their other programmers didn't stick around. because they had to work so closely with this guy.
glad I started looking for other jobs sooner then later.1 -
School group project: Pipeline is done, everything deploys automatically, microservices work in development, https everywhere, Docker is bae, everything works perfectly
Now I have to work on frontend stuff ;_;8 -
Not really trying to, but probably should try to fix this bad, bad habit…
I keep wanting to fix and improve everything - and I keep taking notes, writing action plans et fucking cetera to the point the amount of work that should be done and I want to do is driving me insane. And they should all get done now!
In short, I should really either learn to focus on just one thing at a time for a meaningful period - or just cease to give a fuck. Either could work.2 -
Like who the hell invented that work days start at 8 am? Can people actually concentrate from the moment they arrive at work? For me it is 9 am till I get some work done11
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I've finally got a monitor at work that works with Samsung Dex.
Positive things:
- new super cool monitor
- can remove windows now from the dual boot of the laptop since everything I needed it for can be now done on Dex.
Negative things:
- DevRant doesn't work with Dex. It just doesn't load properly. But maybe it will work through a browser. Need to test...3 -
Someone gave me his code and told me to improve it and being the nice guy I am I agreed. Then while trying to work on that, a dozen other people asked me to help them with their code too, so in the end I barely got any work done.
I should stop helping people2 -
Got a senior dev at work.
The guy is good at his job, no doubt, but his insecurity drives me up the wall.
- Constantly double checks work done by non-seniors.
- Setup a policy where only seniors can code review.
- Tells non-seniors not to give out advice as they don't know what they're talking about.
- Edits pull requests for you.
- Demands unobtainable quality for insignificant pieces of work.
- Patronising teams messages on the regular.
We're all just trying to get work done and he's always acting like we haven't got enough stripes on the badge.11 -
Client : i need to filter login by ip adresse
Me: ok its done put ip in CIDR block in admin panel and voila
Client: URGENT URGENT email ... Noting work on your shit ..=_=
Me (head) : what a fucking jerk i dont know how work CIDR IP block ...ans i demands it ...2 -
If you are a new employee tasked to work with Java, C#, C++ or whatever, choose a Windows PC. And don't get obsessed with having things that look nice, we all know the screen on apple products is awesome, but to get the job done especially if you are a programmer, it's a pain in the ass.
I see Mac owners daily struggle with this and that just to get some work done.
Of course we can start talking about virtual OS, dual boot and so forth, but does it really matter?
Nonetheless if your job is to build ios apps, then of course a Mac Book is a better alternative, but if most of your work is done with C#, then go with Windows PC because it fully supports Visual Studio.13 -
Can somebody stand behind me with a taser and tase me when I'm not productive.
I have been trying everything but can't get myself to get any work done. Which is stressing me out making it even harder to concentrate.
So I'm hoping the fear of being tasered can scare me into productivity.
The feeling of wanting to work but not being able to is one of the most annoying frustrating feelings in the world. And it's slowly destroying my business.
So anyone got some ideas, I just need to get like a week of work done. But been trying now for 2 months and got like a day of work done.
And has anyone build a fun to do list app yet that is complity gamified maybe I can trick myself in doing more.23 -
When you bring work home at the weekend with the hope of getting loads done and then you have a brain freeze and can't remember what you need to do first ....... 😡
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Sometimes just knowing how to use the right tools is the difference between an hour of work and a whole day.
Some things are still better done in Excel...3 -
What’s the most passive aggressive thing you’ve done against management at work? I’m curious. A rant will follow soon with my most exciting adventure in passive aggressive fuckery.14
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Timesheets, timesheets, timesheets. Business bureaucracy. Stuff like this is just a way to prevent any real work from actually getting done.
I know im being unreasonable but fuck that noise.3 -
So these same mother fuckers that think 8:00 is reasonable time for a meeting, have decided that the health checks need tk be done by 7:00
But no, I must just be grateful to have work2 -
Weather's great, sorroundings are great, partner is gone for a festival the next 5 days.. Might actually get work done now!
2 -
A guy I work with on some projects is a know it all. when I ask him to get something done he drags his feet on it and instead keeps telling me about the "cool" things he did5
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That feeling when you're finally done with a pretty big PR and ready to go live. You excitedly send it out to a few of your peers, and then... 20 comments! The real work has just begun 😭1
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To all those working from home...
How do you keep yourself motivated to stick to a schedule?
I've been at this for 7 months now; it was great for the first 2 months, now I can't seem to get my ass together.
I still get my work done, but that's the problem.
Because I'm not motivated to stick to the schedule I've made, I'm chipping away at my non-work time to get the work done.
Any advice?7 -
When you can't get any work done because devRant pushed out an update that includes notifications...7
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First time ever merging two massive networks.
If this doesn't give me pain, technically my thesis work is done. Prettification, optimization, and the actual writing is left, but the main part is done.
And when this is done, I shall feel epic.7 -
Booting up my Windows computer at work after 1 year leave. I'm gonna do a Windows Update.
I suspect I'm not going to get anything else done today.6 -
shit fuck ass
i can either get the work done or write fucking documentation on my research, choose one6 -
A dev's worst nightmare can be summed up as this:
"Working on updates
5% Progress
Don't turn off your computer"
So much for getting some work done tonight.....5 -
What your boss is really saying when you're about to leave work and he says "get this done before tomorrow morning"
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I usually only work for a couple of hours at a time. I will work for a bit, then take 15 to 30 minutes playing a game or riding the motorcycle. I found that this raises my productivity and I also got more done faster believe it or not.
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My company got drunk in the meeting decided to go out to town and live it up ... we got loads of work done... I swear...1
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Something that really grinds my gears recently is ”black boxes”. I get a dll to work with, completly without documentation and any desceiptions. An hour later people asks me, ”so hows it going, done yet?”.
No, im not done yet and I probably wont be in any near future you fucking morons, start documenting your fucking software as normal human beings.2 -
Why do corporate douchebags keep hiring fucking cheap ass local hardware companies? What is this mysterious fucking attraction they have towards shitty IT?
My fucking phone literally has more RAM than my work laptop. I want to go home earlier just so I can get some actual work done on my non retarded personal laptop. -
When you have to work on 3 different projects and start writing to do lists for them and wanna cry looking at the amount of work that you need to get done in a month.
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We had to finish a student project, our project leader had done some work on the project before and his algorithm to detect an event was complete bullcrap.
I took it in my hands to rewrite the algorithm with the risk that it doesn‘t work and i hadn‘t done any work i could show, which would result in a bad grade.
Luckily my algorithm worked better in orders of magnitude and we managed to deliver on time -
Work: work late till 1 am
Also work: come in at 7 am
Me: zzzzzzz
Also work again: why arn't you getting anything done2 -
Don't you just love estimating the story points of a ticket that is completely irrelevant to your role. How do I estimate work that I have never done in my life? 🙄4
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Friday: Expectations vs Reality
Expectation: Work on work for half the day then work on side projects for the rest of the day. Consider it a good day.
Reality: Work on work for whole day. Then have your boss set the expectation to have a project completed by Monday morning that you know will take 3 more days. Hence making you work the weekend to try to get it done in time. -.-4 -
When your boss ask to convert the system to the new framework version, but still ask the other team add new module. Then said why your work never done hmmm.2
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That moment when you are working on a project that controls a electric circuit and realize, after the softwarepart is done, that the circuit doesn't work as it should :/
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When I published my first app and some people made an official thread in a forum. When I went there they told me I had done a good work. Needless to say they don't know me at all.
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Best work I have ever done was done on a beach, in a lounge chair with a beer in my hand and laptop on the lap.
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What is it about clients that provokes them to ask about the same feature every day? No, it’s not fucking done yet, I don’t have a team of devs under me who work overtime to finish it overnight. It’s not going to get done any faster if you keep fucking bothering me about it.
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"Smart" working doesn't mean stay online for 8 hours straight but at a different desk.
It means "be smart about your work" - if I'm done with my work then I'm f***ing done with my work.6 -
Our "boss" asked us to go to office on Saturday to work on something that is not part of the current sprint, but planned to be done next sprint, because we are
A g i l e9 -
How is C and C++ development done in reallife ffs?
Like, you got no ecosystem whatsoever, just thousands of build chains. How does this work?25 -
The worst project you had to work on? Or the worst client? I don't know if it has already been done :x
-
Life is so much more fun when electricity is cut off and you still need to get day's worth of work done from home5
-
Term: Lie in
Definition: Those 2 or 3 hours extra my girlfriend sleeps while I go to Starbucks and get some work done. Currently watching web development lectures. -
I... I just got on the bus to work and left my beautiful contigo coffee thermos at the stop. I'm done guys. I'm not going to make it.. ..1
-
Just subscribed to this. My first subscription or even purchase, from the store. That should tell the developers something about their work. Well done.1
-
I still have no internet at my new home. The technician will be here in 5 weeks. So I spend my time in the old flat sitting on the floor to get work done.2
-
Starting my day with 15 emails that I urgently need to respond to. I hate Thursdays. It's just meetings and emails and more meetings and more emails. No time to get work done.2
-
I'm pulling an all-nighter. And I'm still nowhere close to being done for desktop. But mobile is pretty much there. Mind you, I have work in 6 hours and counting1
-
I've been at work for nearly 4 hours and have gotten barely 1 hour of work done due to my amazingly slow computer. Currently I'm waiting for visual studio to start responding. It'll respond in about 10-15 min... Takes 40 min to boot up my PC and launch my VS solutions.13
-
slack seems to be having issues with connectivity currently.
sweet, maybe I can actually get some work done!
or maybe i'll just browse devrant for a few more minutes. who's gonna know? -
The moment when you work your ass off on a project and you don't get alot of praise
vs
The praise you get for that 5 minute side project / fuck around you done....
Wtf!?
-
When your job gets unnecessarily difficult because too many people work on the same files, and then they ignore your changes in version control. I waste more time redoing work that was already done and ignored . . .1
-
Was trying to pull an all nighter to meet a deadline and I accidentally fell asleep. I was also texting a new person I liked at the same time.
Dreamt I got so much work done and was still texting and got into an argument.
Woke up, but by the time I realized what happened and that I slept off I had already randomly texted something aggressive and insulted 😭
So yeah. Guess who got no work done and is probably gonna be single for life 😂 -
when you've taken enough caffeine to get the work done and now you just want to sleep but you can't cuz coffee
-
I'm in the ER being held overnight. Buy I still cannot stop stressing about the work I missed today. As well as all the work that needs done by Monday. Why can't I ignore work even while an the hospital3
-
!rant
After 2 hours of the worst exam I had in years I'm finally done with my education and I can join the workforce. Finally some money and even more responsibility. And actual fucking work.3 -
That moment when your co-worker merges his branch and removes all of the work you have done for the last 7 hours, two minutes before clock out time...13
-
The ones I have now! I have a team of great people I'm working with. We get good work done and have alot of laughs. And since we work for a huge fortune 500 company, we have plenty of people in the enterprise to complain to each other about!
-
function toCodeOrNotToCode() {
if (!isset($coffeeOrRedbull)) {
die('No work can be done');
} else {
return true;
}
}
// I don't drink Redbull daily4 -
RSA is the best. It's so secure it even keeps me out of my laptop most work days!
</Sarcasm>
Fml how am I supposed to get any work done like this....1 -
So the company I work for assigned me to a new clients project and has already proven to be a pain.
I checked all my emails late Sunday evening and replied to them (saves me the time in the morning) so I emailed this new client who was enquiring when a part of his website was to be done.
Me: I fully expect this portion of the functionally to be done by the tail of the week.
Client first thing this morning: why isn’t anything working you said it would be done.
Me: ...4 -
I'm not going to get any real work done today, am I...
Here I sit waiting for the next problem to pop up because of silly untested edge cases by this team.
Ugh... 😮💨5 -
Working in a team is overrated. You most of the time end up working with sleaze bags.
Like high-school projects, where most of the work is done by either 1-2 people.2 -
I just got off the phone with an interviewer. His startup wanted someone who has done work with other companies.
I've only ever done projects for non-profits and social enterprises up until now. The hiring managers don't even get to a review of my Github code before saying 'No, thank you'.
Really frustrated right now.3 -
That feeling when you know there’s work to be done, and a deadline to do it by... yet you can’t muster the motivation and you’d rather just play video games.
I suppose at least with contracting from home I have the option of taking a break like this so long as the work gets done on time. I mean, if I was in an office I’d just be dicking about online. -
I now leave my work IM status as "Away". It's the only way people leave me alone so I can get work done...*shrug* ☺1
-
Is it just me or there is always a work emergency (or clients suddenly needing something new done right now) on the day before leaving for holidays?1
-
when you've been moved to quality assurance, and is forced to watch hours of videos and read hours of blogs, just to keep you busy because there is no testing work but plenty of developing work to be done...2
-
When the project manager gives you work then sods off to a meeting. You review the work and only been given half the info you need and impossible to complete. They then come back from the meeting and kick off it's not done!!!
-
Android studio is doing like 80% of the work for me, and I'm still not done with this tiny app. :/4
-
Ah, now that I'm done spending my first hour of the day typing a long decline to a request for me to work overtime, I can finally get back to work.
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We had a meeting where all the devs on a large sprint team were told they must attend late that evening. The gist of that meeting was 'well done your all working hard and done some good work but we have over committed so work harder!" but they took an hour and a half to make the point.
-
worked on a couple projects at work for a week. Forgot to back them up to the svn. The time comes to show my boss what I've done and the files are gone. woops.4
-
I can't get any work done from home. Not due to lack of discipline to get going, but due to lack of good coffee. In every workplace I've been at I've always brewed good coffee. And in school there is good coffee to buy cheap. But making coffee at home always taste like shit. So i procrastinate, searching for the right coffee, filter and blaming my brewer for being a piece of shit machine. I mean.. how can I possibly get work done without coffee?1
-
Work proxy, meet dependency hell.
Can't even install pip modules, everything has to be done through source 😓 -
Considering a contract to hire position. Do these usually result in full time employment? I've never done contract work.6
-
I don't know why you expect your website to be done in a month when you can't even fucking decide what it should be.
I CAN'T READ YOUR MIND ASSHOLE.
Don't tell me that I did it wrong or it doesn't look right when you said that you wanted it like that.
I wasn't hired as a web developer, I've done high voltage electrical work, machinist work and repair of the shit you can't even take care of. All for 15usd a hour. If they don't keep their promise to bump the pay....1 -
Get to work before everyone is there to work a while without interruption.
Be the first there... to fix the worst problem of the year which appears this night. What a nightmare.
But it's done and fixed I'm happy ....
Half day is over now come to the real work. Oh wait Chef want to know what happens.
Day is over.
Best day of the Year!2 -
F-ing work computer crashes "not responds" continuously at least 3x a day... How do I get stuff done!?2
-
If people at work spent half as much time working as they did posting articles in teams channels about “strategy” and then congratulating each other on finding said articles, we’d actually get some work done.
-
Some days I look back at the work I had done that day and think to myself, "what the fuck took me so long?".1
-
I saw this headline today: "Trending Technology - Google's new AI tool could help decode the mysterious algorithms that decide everything"
Basically, an AI tool to decode how other AI algorithms work...
Congratulations humanity... you done well.2 -
Getting pretty sick of proposal improvements to the business I work for to then be knocked back before I even finish/ they finish reading the proposal.
From now on I come to work, do job, if no work available do nothing, go home!!
I'm done!! -
I cannot write a line of code after 2pm...my work becomes playing tutorials in the background while I think about dinner and telling teammates my great ideas for the things we can get done tomorrow2
-
Become a 1st Fellow in my company (c-suite no thx) and align the business and technology strategy. When done, enjoy frequent trips to interesting places with friends and family and work with customers on the go.
-
reading test strategy of work done by my senior whom i respect, which goes something along the lines of:
"putting this into production and praying"
i dont know how to feel7 -
I think it's kinda cool that almost all of my work _could_ be done within a browser (IDE, docker, etc, etc..)
I'm happy as I am but I like the option5 -
I didnt ask you if it could be done but I asked you how it could be done. Those are two very different things.
I hate it when people won't change the way they work because it wasn't told them that they could do that. You are a human being, not an engine. Adapt.1 -
Uni team project. Our presentation was on Friday. Code and report submission this Monday. We have to write on the report the % of work each person has done. One certain member of this team has been steadily moving functions other people have done into his personal package area to "clean up the code" and will edit your files without permission to clean them too. If it were from anyone else I would not be suspicious, but this person has proved himself to be a snake. The result of his efforts? Breaks your fucking code, let's him claim ownership when you run a git blame on your own files and the functions you made he can now claim responsibility for. Actual fucking bastard I'm going to murder this little fuck. Doing zero fucking work except breaking other people's and claiming a larger % of the work done than anyone else. Uuugh.
-
I don't get it, why the fuck are you cc'ing me in all the support ticket you are done/close. The ticket has nothing to do with my work. Fuck you cunt.4
-
YouTube: My ultimate ultimate working from the toilet productivity setup as a software wanker
= cue useless expensive gadgets and seizure inducing lights -
Story of my life in the office
I work my ass off and get the job done, almost 4 to 5 hours before my shift ends. And then I casually sit with other colleagues and chat a bit.
And my boss comes in and says you have no work ethics and are lazy.
And i'm like you fucker I got my job done, why can't you see that. I doesn't mean that my job is easy if I get it done before time. I just means that i'm more fucking efficient then the other employees.While the other employees were gossiping, I was on my desk working. Why can't that fucker see that.
Not to mention as I get my job done before time, I get burdened with other people's work, coz apparently they are overloaded with work.
Fucking idiocracy.1 -
#!/bin/bash
# An ideal work day
# Wake up naturally, keep sleeping until I won't wake up as a zombie
TIMETOWAKEUP=$(while ps -eo state,pid,cmd | grep "^Z"; do sleep 1; done)
# Work, between 9AM - 5PM, weekdays only!
TIMETOWORK=$(while [ $(date +%H) -gt 09 -a $(date +%H) -lt 17 -a $(date +%u) -le 5 ];
# Do cool work and get paid, every second.
do $COOLWORK && $GETPAID; sleep 1; done)
# Home
TIMETOCHILL=$(while $ATHOME;
# Do cool work, without getting paid, and spend money made from $TIMEATWORK
do $COOLWORK && $SPENDSPENDSPEND; sleep 28800; done)
$TIMETOWAKEUP; $TIMETOWORK; $TIMETOCHILL
# I don't get out much -
Hi devs,so I'm looking for suggestions on projects to work on,I've got alot of time as I am done with school and since there's strikes at university I'm only going there in March.
Languages:Java,Php,JavaScript3 -
Worked as frontend on a company that also had backend devs making frontend work. One day we've received a task of redesigning those screens, since their work were poor. Past half of the work is done, the whole team came onto us saying to pause the task since there would be multiple changes into the informations on the screens. That day we lost something like 4 hours of work. Didn't punched anybody though.2
-
While windows is fine and dandy for slacking off, you're going to need Linux or macOS to actually get work done.2
-
Been trying all day to install Ubuntu into my laptop, tried multiple USB sticks, DVDs, no luck...
I have no idea why it doesn't want to work. I've done this plenty of times before 😕3 -
Done, first time sending a curriculum to a company, looking to work as an Android developer on summer and maybe during the semester, wish me luck! ^_^
-
What's the deepest nested iframe you've ever worked on. Has anyone done work on an ifrane within an iframe with in an iframe?4
-
Perfectionism... I often refactor my code because I always see something that could be "done better" in my own work, which can slow me down if I'm not paying attention to my main task.
If I could stop time I would perfect my code all day, but that isn't realistic. 😂
Doesn't apply to dev work only, I've had to learn the art of not giving a shit about every single detail in many other disciplines. I just love getting things done really well. -
Have you ever screw up your client just because they are not willing to pay for the work you have done? ( Asking for a friend. LOL)17
-
You get interns when you have free time and employee when you want work done.
Only speaking from experience.
Anyone with similar experience? -
During snowstorm yesterday in New York City, not even half of the developers showed up.
I wasn't able to get much work done.
Curse you mother nature!3 -
Everyone expects you to work your "magic" and get shit done... But nobody thanks you or gives a shit when you do.
-
Thought i'd try using VSCode.. initialized folder for git... and then proceeded to delete all my nodeschool work that i'd done over the past year... ARAGH!2
-
Team: We don't know how to do this
Stack overflow: It can't be done
Me: Hold my beer. No, wait, nevermind, I'm not drinking at work.1 -
Holiday (Labor Day) == Personal Work/Clear ToDos Day
I think I got 10% of what I had planned to get done done... :(
I'm also planning to take a week off soon though not really going anywhere... It's supposed to be a Workation but... -
Network Support is the worst place to work in especially when you done all your work in the first hour. Also, when managers are pain in the ass.
Might as well call it a call centre rather than Service Desk -
!rant
<title>
Release "Unlicensed" to avoid problems
<\title>
I have done some work as intern I have done some work. I didn't have a contract though and one month ago I wanted to go away to give more time to my studies.
Now they ask me to write a brief documentation to explain how to use what I have done.
Since I have no hope to receive money and I just want to make sure they don't come back asking me things or blaming me about the implementation I thought to release with "The Unlicense" license...
What do you think?3 -
!rant
So im finally done with education and can call my self an computer scientist.. but are you really ever done getting educated in this line of work?1 -
!rant
I'm better at getting work done when I have work to do.
Put your phone on airplane mode, turn off internet on your computer (unless you really need it) and write down what you need to do and when it's due. Just do it.1 -
Fuck, fuck, fuck!!!
I just realise I had a lot of work to be done!!!
And it's completely my fault.
Not sure if I feel myself more stupid or fucked. -
Apparently I'm to try and fix bugs that are 1-2 years old. Some of which have had work done on them before, so may be in a different state. No reproduction scenarios either.
What the actual fuck? -
Just Realized... I have like 1 of every device... I'm a full on fence sitter...
iPhone X -- work phone
Huawei p20 -- personal phone
MacBook -- work laptop
Lenovo ThinkPad running Arch Linux -- personal laptop
Window Surface -- research/teaching laptop (use it when I teach and need to bring notes)
Gaming PC -- Gaming PC
And all of this took ~5 years to garner... Geez... I like all of these devices too (and sometimes i hate em) Holy...1 -
First day back at work, lunch time now. So far I've been to one meeting and done no work. I can't get on to the vpn. We get OTP for the vpn via sms. Sms is taking so long to come through that it always expired by the time I get it
The kicker? I work for a cellular provider1 -
The moment when you are given a group project and you do most of the work, by most I mean all the work but the other members say if they were doing it they would have done it that way which would have been better and you are like yeah!!! IF only you had done it :/
-
Picked up the latest version of Test Driven Development work Python. Haven't done much test driven development so time to change that .
-
Tips for motivation appreciated...
I can’t get any work done and haven’t been for a few weeks. Even took a few days of.
Just stared at the screen the entire day.
Have no problem getting stuff done on personal projects..2 -
Hey I am actually proud of myself today :) I managed to pretty much do my task at work and I got a lot of school work done. Pretty nice day. Not every day is full of rants and anger people. A lot of times it's good we do what we love.
-
When you finally realize, you like to be #worried, you miss, being worried all the time to get things done.
#hustling at #work. -
About to scrap the multiplayer functions in massmello altogether and work solely on the singleplayer package instead - i had far more done in regard to singleplayer functionality before i had the packages split anyway. >:(
-
A lot of the work I do is actually done from an 8" tablet.
The issue is, the last decent one was released nearly 2 years ago.
Hoping for something coming out at CES! -
Well here i thought i would have done work...and pooof its time to go home
All i did was refactor with and make PR...
*SIGH*
I guess today was one of those days where little work was done -
to be happy about weekend or to cry at all the work that needs to be done before heading to weekend1
-
I'm currently doing something very similar to something I've done ~1.5 years ago, but my old notes/work fragments aren't really helpful
*inserts 'I have no memory of this place' meme* -
If I work at home this weekend to get some undersized stuff done by monday . Should I ask them to pay me extra?
Or we devs do not have those privileges?1 -
Reading job ads sometimes make me wonder... "You Deeply Identify with Core Butterfly Network Values: Efficient & Speedy - you get work done in a fraction of the time as industry peers".
1 -
i work with someone,and looks like he want to run away,if he run away with the half done project and not pay me i want to make his API broken,how to do that?4
-
Going to China with work soon to provide on site support, anyone done this before and have any tips/experiences?5
-
Oh the work I could get done if I didn't have to restart Rational Software Architect because it can't stay synchronized with the status of the servers running.
-
Being lazy sometimes and writing type definitions after I’m done developing something rather than before (hence wasting time as doing that work is meant to help with the development process in the first place...)
-
!rant
I have realized that I need to redefine the meaning of the word "work" in my brain to mean "anything that needs to be done regardless of whether it's fun/interesting/engaging or not".
I should have realized and done that a long time ago.1 -
Is academia just a display of how well you can be a good cog in a system? I feel like I've done more admin work than development just to pass. Too far in to quit though.1
-
I’m worried, as I’m sure many of you are about covid 19 and work drying up. I can work from home but who’s gonna want to get a new site or app done now with so much uncertainty!1
-
So i've not slept all night, come into work and my first mistake 1 hour in is migrating data from another project into a production database now i have redundant data and redundant tables, well done! fml
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