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-
My coworker left his Windows 10 system unlocked today.
Me:
1. Print screen on desktop
2. Saves the image
3. Sets image as wallpaper
4. Hides desktop icons
5. Changes taskbar alignment to the right and enables auto hide.
6. 🤣🤣🤣37 -
Playing 'Skip-Bo' with my daughter.
She: "Why isn't there a zero in this game? You know...0, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5...."
MY daughter ❤️.10 -
1: Get a dog
2: Name dog Sudo
3: Teach Sudo to fetch my mail
4: Invite Linux-friend over
5: Yell "sudo fetchmail"
6: ?
7: Profit20 -
Some ideas for variable names. Thank me later :))
1. bool sheet;
2. int entionally;
3. char mander;
4. double penetration;
5. string cheese;
6. long schlong;23 -
And that's why there are scientific programming languages:
"Hey, you are the Java guy, aren't you? My Java is broken!"
Me: *Takes a look at the code*
if ("4+4".equals("5+3")) {
System.out.println("Same result!");
} else {
System.out.println("Different result!");
}15 -
*Admin leaves his computer unlocked*
1. Takes a desktop screenshot and flips it and sets it as background.
2. Disables right click.
3. Hides taskbar.
4. Flips the screen.
5. Connects keyboard to another computer close by with screen off.
6. Has the time of the week.
*Hopefully, there is no revenge 😁*8 -
How everyone uses stackoverflow:
1. Work on some project
2. Spot a bug
3. Try to solve the bug and fail.
4. Write a question for SO.
5. Post question on SO.
6. Get the answer and some points.
How I use stackoverflow:
1. Work on some project
2. Find a bug
3. Try to fix the bug and fail
4. Write a question on SO
5. Get scared that I might be downvoted.
6. Spend 45 minutes optimizing the structure of the question.
7. Try additional tests to cover all possible scenarios.
8. Still scared to click post.
9. Scrap everything and restart line by line writing further details of each step in your question.
10. Find the bug myself.
11. Click cancel on the question that took me 3+ hours to write.
12. Cry.20 -
So I "grade" homework for programming 1 students...
Task was to produce an output like:
1
1 2
1 2 3
1 2 3 4
1 2 3 4 5
...and this was committed!
I really had to hold back laughter...
This looks purposefully obfuscated...
26 -
My coding behavior:
1. console.log("Hello World");
2. CTRL S
3. this.date=moment();
4. CTRL S
5. const yesterday = this.date
6. CTRL S
7. Open Chrome Browser to preview
8. Accidentally pressed CTRL S and saved that page19 -
Before you're hired:
1. A binary tree?
2. Currying?
3. Higher-order function?
4. How does event loop work?
5. What is prototype?
6. What is encapsulation?
7. Can you draw an algorithm?
After you're hired:
1. Hey, can you add auth token and login to our app?11 -
Popularity of programming languages according to the DRRDSI (DevRant Rubber Duck Selling Index):
1. JS
2. Java
3. Python
4. C#
5. PHP
6. C++
7. Ruby
8. SQL
9. Swift20 -
Basically my life:
1. Work
2. Game
3. Work on a project nobody will ever use
4. Food
5. Make offensive jokes about WW223 -
Whenever I feel depressed in life.. I open my GMail inbox...I find:
1) 10 banks are giving me easy loans.
2) I have won GBP 10000000 and USD 500000 for unknown reasons.
3) 10 Job companies have best jobs for me.
4) 5 matrimonial sites have most suited matches for me.
5) Dr. Batra has claimed that he will cure my hair fall.
6) 3 universities are giving me degrees in random subjects.15 -
An average day:
1. Start working on feature
2. Finish feature
3. Feature doesn't work
4. Spend 7 hours refactoring and fixing imaginary bugs
5. Add the 3 characters that were missing
6. Laugh and cry, laugh and cry...4 -
How to get your Jira ticket resolved:
1: Assign in it the person
2: Mention him on the ticket
3: Remember the ticket number
4: Sneak into his office
5: 
10 -
5 reasons I love devRant
1. I can't understand the point of Facebook. And it has such a shitty UI, but devRant has a beautiful despite it is complete JS
2. It doesnt have 140 char limit.
3. It is 99% english.
4. Trolls and script kiddies are rare here.
5. It is fairly lightweight.
======================
1 reason I hate devRant
1. Total waste of time.16 -
Very worst programing language 10
10. No reason to
9. call any
8. Programing language
7. the worst.
6. Cuz
5. they have
4. advantages and
3. uses according to
2. their philosophy.
1. JAVA19 -
Problems with Android development
1. Android Studio is shitte
2. Android API is shitte
3. Gradle is shitte
4. Emulator is shitte
5. My life is shitte20 -
10 Things You’ll Find Shocking About Asynchronous Operations:
3.
2.
7.
4.
6.
1.
9.
10.
5.
8.
(found on twitter by @iamdevloper 😂)6 -
How my birthday is going so far:
1. Dropped coffee on my shirt
2. Client is wondering why we removed a feature that he wants yet asked us to remove a week ago
3. Dev server is no longer working
4. Internet connection is shit
5. My VPN keeps on disconnecting (see #4)
Is this day going to end or what?53 -
Modern web developer Stater pack
1.Mac with 100 stickers on it
2.Love linux but never used it
3.Border 0px
4.Border radius 2.7px
5.sketch+adobe22 -
Learning a new technology:
1. Denial
2. Anger
3. Bargaining
4. Depression
5. Acceptance
6. Ohh, cool feature~2 -
1. Have idea
2. Write down features that thing should have
3. Make a wireframe design
4. Write down possible names for it
5. Open GitHub-Repo
6. Never start coding it
7. Cry5 -
1. Code works
2. Add if statement
3. Code breaks
4. Comment out if statement
5. Code works
6. Uncomment if statement
7. Code works
8. Wtf??12 -
1. Create user on website.
2. Receives mail with username and password.
3. Changes password.
4. Receives mail with new password.
5. Delete account and look for another service.3 -
How to install vim in Linux:
1. Download gvim80.exe
2. Install Wine
3. wine gvim80.exe
( Follow installation instructions. Keep on
clicking next)
4. Download DosBox.exe
5. wine DosBox.exe
6. MOUNT F /path/to/wine/vim
(Mount vim installation directory)
7. vim.exe
8. Enjoy the latest vim :)15 -
*Stages of debugging*
1. That can't happen.
2. That doesn't happen on my machine
3. That shouldn't happen.
4. Why does that happen?
5. Oh, I see.
6. How did that ever work?3 -
1. See new shiny tech
2. Read install/setup instructions
3. Make Hello World/Todo app by copying codeblocks from documentation
4. Update LinkedIn profile
5. Insist on rewriting entire company ecosystem
Oh wait, thats my horseshit-eating coworker3 -
I just invented a new JavaScript operator. It's named "plus with wings", and it's used to sum to numbers without ambiguity or any need of type conversion, for example:
3 -+- "2" // 5
"2.1" -+- "4" // 6.1
"-1.1" -+- "" // -1.1
So, from now, you won't have to wonder anymore what type is that variable.
Tested on all browsers25 -
1. Find bug
2. Try 3 methods of fixing
3. All fail
4. Tell yourself you're trying for the LAST time then you'll go on to something else
5. End up trying 5 more times
6. Repeat step 4 20 times
7. Cry
8. Finally take a break
9. Return next day, try another method, it works instantly
FML!6 -
Six stages of debugging:
1. That can't happen?
2. That doesn't happen on my machine?
3. That shouldn't happen?
4. Why does that happen?
5. OH, I SEE!
6. How did that ever work?1 -
Debuging 101
1 You open the project.
2 Run the app and replicate the bug.
3 Stop the app.
4 Stare at your code for like 15 mins and change nothing.
5 you re-run the app and hopes that it would fix on its own even if you didnt do anything.4 -
HTTP return codes cheat sheet :
1** : Hold on
2** : Here you go
3** : Go away
4** : You fucked up
5** : I fucked up5 -
What I feel when browsing recent lately.
How to get ++:
1. Get Google Allo
2. Ask question about Siri
3. Screenshot and post
4. ???
5. Profit! -
Group Project
1.Make a slack Channel.
2.Make a private repo
3.Give everyone access to do anything.
4. Wait for people to talk and commit code.
5...............R.I.P5 -
NFF = Not Funny Friend.
NFF: what is your smart phone?
ME: OnePlus 3
NFF: Oh you have 4 !
ME: hehe, yeah. I am thinking to buy the new OnePlus 5.
NFF: you're gonna to buy 6?? wow
ME: Ok stoop2 -
need a good idea for app or game? follow this quick guide.
1. prepare a notebook.
2. prepare a pen.
3. go to toilet.
4. start writing the ideas.
5. make millions.13 -
1) get an idea for a cool app
2) evaluate feasibility and execution
3) ensure accessible data streams and APIs
4) get excited and realize the idea is doable
5) see someone has done that exact thing and it's already published on the Appstore :/10 -
1) Looking up official Page of the new language/framework
2) Watch tutorial on Youtube
3) Realise it's teached very complicated
4) Buy a course on any course site
5) Realise it's even more complicated
6) Buy book
7) Learn it perfectly
#booksForLive :D6 -
1. Connect your laptop to prod-vpn
2. Open SQL Server Management Studio for debugging
3. Walk away
4. Find your 3 year old at your laptop
5. Panic.
6. Thank Microsoft for locking the screen when the laptop sleeps.
14 -
Top 5 reasons to come to Hackathon
1. Experience for your CV
2. Free swags
3. Networking
4. Free swags
5. Free Stickers (swags)9 -
Creating a personal website:
Step 1: Have 20mins of inspiration.
Step 2: Spend a day writing css and js
Step 3: Realize it sucks because (ugly || bad responsive design || not enough content)
Step 4 Experience no inspiration what so ever for next week
Step 5: Repeat11 -
Best computer/hacking/tech TV and movies?
I'll start the list with some of my favorites.
1. Hackers
2. The Net
3. Jumpin Jack Flash
4. Antitrust
5. Swordfish
6. Wargames
7. Mr Robot
Anyone else?33 -
1.Run into issue
2.Go to Stack Overflow
3.Think of best way to phrase the question
4.Find solution while editing post
5.Bang head on desk3 -
How to talk as a dev to a dev:
1.) Talk normally
2.) Start shouting
3.) Slow down but say it more aggressively
4.) Realise you made a mistake and/or misunderstood something
5.) Explain why it's not your fault
6.) Explain why it's someone elses fault
7.) Repeat2 -
Install Kali
Configurate Kali
Testing with a VM
Testing with my own Network
FUCKED MY NETWORK FOR 4 DAYS
.
.
.
Analyse my Mistakes
Test again with my Network
Accomplished
Tested my Neighbours Network
Found 3 ways to get in less than 5 Minutes
Went to Neighbour
Said that his Network is pretty easy to hack
Earned 30€10 -
1) Open devRant app
2) Enjoy so many great rants
3) Thinks is enough
4) Quit devRant app
5) Immediately open devRant again without thinking
6) ....
(damn my muscle memory)5 -
How to make a cold cup of coffee:-
1-make a normal cup of coffee
2-start coding
3-after coding you'll forget that you made coffee
4-drink it cold
5-feel bad for not drinking it while it's hot4 -
how to make a feature request
1. dump Db table with 153 column to Excel
2. print!
3. circle column 47 on page 3, scribble feature description
4. scan! remember to use proprietary file format no one has
5. new e-mail, add "VERY URGENT!!!" to subject line
6. write "will call, discuss details monday"
6.a. attach proprietary-scanned-excel-dump-feature-description (optional)
7. postscript: deadline wednesday!!
8. wait for tuesday
9. send!
...3 -
Waisting some times on codewars.com
~~~~
3 kyu challenge:
Given a string with mathematical operations like this: ‘3+5*7*(10-45)’, compute the result
~~~~~
*Does a quick and easy one liner in python using eval()*
*sees people actually writing some 100 lines parsing the string and calculating using priority of operation*
Poor them...
(Btw, passed to lvl 4 kyu thx to this)14 -
1 fix my crappy sleep schedule.
2 organise my time better.
3 stop being a glutton.
4 earn a aws cert.
5 build a portfolio site.
6 build projects to go on portfolio site.
7 find a new job?
8 do some machine learning.
9 find love?
10 continue automating people out their job at their request.4 -
!dev
New year's resolutions:
1) Rid and keep my life free of toxic people. This includes parents.
2) Find a well-paying job that isn't also toxic.
3) Take care of myself for a change!
4) Stop putting up with things I don't have to.
5) Actually enjoy things I enjoy.
6) Finally buy a harp. I've wanted one since I was 3 ffs.
7) Finish de-googling my life.10 -
1. Try to stay sane in startup chaos
2. Use more vacation days
3. Separate work and free time a bit more
4. Get out into nature more
5. Hire 50+ good developers & get company to 15M active end users while doing all of the above5 -
Few phrases you should not say at Job:
1. That's not my job
2. We've tried that before
3. There's no budget for that
4. I told you so
5. That doesn't follow procedure
Comment if you have more.36 -
1) Using WordPress
2) Using WordPress
3) Using WordPress
4) Using WordPress
5) Using WordPress
6) U5ing WardPrrrs
7) U5ing WardPrars
8) U5ing WardPr3rs
9) U51ng WardPr35s
10) U҉5҉1n͢y͜ ͞W̷a͞rdPr3̷5͟5̛
11) O̧͘51͜n̨҉y ̶̀Ẁu͝rdPr͠3҉̵͠5̴͟5
12) U5͝1ny ͜Wa͠r͞dP̀r̀35҉5
13) U̕҉̷5̷͢͟͠͞1̴̵̕ǹ̨̢͟͢ỳ̨͜͡ ̕͜͢Ẁ̸̢̕à̢͜͞r̷͜͏̀͜d̨͜͏P͘͜r̛͞͠͠͏3̢̨̡̛́5̴̀5̧̕͏̶
14) U̵ͦ̇͌ͣ̓̈́̒͆̇ͨ͑͟5̴̽̾̓ͯ̔̎̓̔̀̚̕͜͜1̶̷̏͂̑͆ͪͤͥ̈́̔͛͌̅ͨ̚͜n̢ͯͫͬͩ̾̌̇̓͐̒̆͆̋͡ỳ̋̈͑̏̐͜͞ ̓̄͑ͦͬͣͬ͒̈́̍ͦ́ͭ͐̒̑͂͘W̆͋̃̓ͫ̌ͭͩ̾͊̔̋̚҉̀̕͡͠a̷̡̧ͦͦͩ́̈́̃̆̆ͨ̈̚ŗͫ͛̿͗̋̎ͮͫ͊͗ͪ̓̍ͨd̵̢ͦ̐̎̀ͮͫ͛̒̈͋ͫ͗̒̋͢͟P̷ͯͦ͒̒̌͆͡͞r̆ͭ̈́̀͂ͮ̓̂͑̆ͯ̾̀ͪ̋̄̚͟͞҉͞3̔͑̏̽̾̿͂̋̀͟͢5̴̂̈́͗̍ͩͦ̀̋̆ͣͨ̿͜͠5̸̴̶̧̏̂̽̈́̏̃ͫ̅͗̈̂̽̈ͣ̊
15) U̸̶͍̭͕̩̺͓̩̞̫̲̳̥̘̰̦̼͇ͧͫ̍̌̔̆̒ͪ͛̅͂̚̕͟5̷̹̱̜̫̞̮̲̬̲̱̻͙͊̋ͥ̊͜ͅ1͙͎̹͔̺̯̟̮̳̀͋͐̍̿̿̏͋̿̏͐̾́̓͑͋̃̈́͘͡͡͠͝n̴̆ͦ̽͡͝͝҉̫̰̗͓ỷ̴̸̦͕̻̩̖͓͚̟͆ͦ̓̍̇͊͆͊̏ͥͮ ̶̛̹͍̪̟̦͉̙͉̰͎̞̮̰̗͈̥͙ͮ̃ͧ͌ͪͥ͌ͨ̋̈́̚ͅW̩͙̮̯̪̳͖̙̘̰̍ͮͣ̋̇̒͐͋̀ͅa̶̸̷̮̜͈̟̳̺̣̪̻̼̻͍̺̹̽ͩ̿̈ͭ̈́ͩ́̅͌ͩ̈́̾̀́r̵̡͚̘̹̻̩̞ͦͨ̋ͣͣ̆͊̅̂̃̄͛̈́̒̒͒̾d̸̡͓̘̮̲̰̥̗̣̙̬̹̰ͩ́̈́ͥ̅̽ͫͯ̓͜͞P̧̹͉̬̠̻̮̫̼͉͖̯̙̞͎̲͙̖̉ͨ͐ͮ̀͞r̡̖̜̦̞̭̼͐̃ͬ̒̉̈͑͘3̷͇̖̹̱͍̯͈̣̼͔͉͉̜̣̱̉̎̈́̽ͧ̓ͥ͐͟ͅ5̮̩̗̣̣̤͇̲̟͇̒ͥ̂͗̒̆̕͜͝͞5̩̳̗̻̻̯̺̺̻̯̑͐̈ͤ̏̈́̾ͮͨ̀̃ͫ͋ͥ̾̚̕ͅ
REEEEE̸͢E̛͜E͜͡E҉EE̢EÉ͜҉E͠͡È̷̛̛͢E͏̸̨҉E̛҉E̴̷E̢ͪͩ̀̍̍ͦ͒ͪ̈̑̚̚̕͝Ę̴̒̀̐ͭ͞Ȇ̵ͪͫ̍͊̆ͦ̓͢҉Eͪ̈́͊̿ͦ̾͘E̸͒̅̐͆͋̏ͥ̑͒ͫ͋̈́͝͡E͆ͪͬ͘҉̕͞E̢̞̫͕̞̩͇̞̳̦͚͔̪ͭͭͭ̒̔̾͠͞E̡̡̲̤̼͙̥̦̎ͮ̑ͯ̏ͫ̽ͮ́͛̐͡E̷̴̡͙̜̫̠̞̯̗̽ͭͯ̓ͣ̾̐ͪ̚͡Ẻ̷̖͕̖̬͚̦̼͙̖̭̪̖͙̥̘͎ͥ̊ͤ̓̄̇̄̀̚͜E̸͉͍̟͈̺͚̲̦̯̭̬ͧ̈̐̌̇͌̐̀͘͞Ȇ̵̢̛̯̜̤̭͋̏ͣͤ́́E̶̢̩̯͕̱͔̱̙̻̼̬̝̳̹̞̰̹̾͛̒̉̈́̊͒̿̔̈ͦͦͅͅE̢̞̫͕̞̩͇̞̳̦͚͔̪ͭͭͭ̒̔̾͠͞E̡̡̲̤̼͙̥̦̎ͮ̑ͯ̏ͫ̽ͮ́͛̐͡E̷̴̡͙̜̫̠̞̯̗̽ͭͯ̓ͣ̾̐ͪ̚͡Ẻ̷̖͕̖̬͚̦̼͙̖̭̪̖͙̥̘͎ͥ̊ͤ̓̄̇̄̀̚͜E̸͉͍̟͈̺͚̲̦̯̭̬ͧ̈̐̌̇͌̐̀͘͞
7 -
Saturday plan: serious switch to Linux.
1. Installs Fedora, lookin nice.
2. Let's update it, fails to boot.
3. Nouveau driver fails, lets install proprietary one.
4. dnf install dependencies, repo returns 503
5. Be stuck on a 640x480 bash.
6. Boot windows, start overwatch.15 -
What fresh hell is this
.replaceAll("(//"?)([^//d]+)(//.?)([^//d]+)(//.?)([//d]{3})(//.?)([^/d]+)(//"?)","$1$2$3$4$5$6$7$8$9")
...who is fucking with me7 -
1) Install Debian 9
2) Select GNOME
3) Hate GNOME
4) Uninstall GNOME
5) Install LXDE
6) Love GNOME17 -
Please Java and all java shit, take more memory I don't need it -_-
16GB doesn't seem to be enough to have a VM and Android Studio Open but it is more than enough to have
1. Visual Studio
2. SQL Server Management Studio
3. VM
4. FireFox
5. Visual Studio code
Fuck. This. Shit!
20 -
Today, for fun, I wrote prime number generation upto 1000 using pure single MySQL query.
No already created tables, no procedures, no variables. Just pure SQL using derived tables.
So does this mean that pure SQL statements do not have the halting problem?
Putting an EXPLAIN over the query I could see how MySQL guessed that the total number of calculations would be 1000*1000 even before executing the query in itself and this is amazing ♥️
I have attached a screenshot of the query and if you are curious, I have also left below the plain text.
PS this was a SQL problem in Hackerrank.
MySQL query:
select group_concat(primeNumber SEPARATOR '&') from
(select numberTable.number as primeNumber from
(select cast((concat(tens, units, hundreds)+1) as UNSIGNED) as number from
(select 0 as units union select 1 union select 2 union select 3 union select 4 union select 5 union select 6 union select 7 union select 8 union select 9) unitsTable,
(select 0 as tens union select 1 union select 2 union select 3 union select 4 union select 5 union select 6 union select 7 union select 8 union select 9) tensTable,
(select 0 as hundreds union select 1 union select 2 union select 3 union select 4 union select 5 union select 6 union select 7 union select 8 union select 9) hundredsTable order by number) numberTable
inner join
(select cast((concat(tens, units, hundreds)+1) as UNSIGNED) as divisor from
(select 0 as units union select 1 union select 2 union select 3 union select 4 union select 5 union select 6 union select 7 union select 8 union select 9) unitsTable,
(select 0 as tens union select 1 union select 2 union select 3 union select 4 union select 5 union select 6 union select 7 union select 8 union select 9) tensTable,
(select 0 as hundreds union select 1 union select 2 union select 3 union select 4 union select 5 union select 6 union select 7 union select 8 union select 9) hundredsTable order by divisor) divisorTable
on (divisorTable.divisor<=numberTable.number and divisorTable.divisor!=1)
where numberTable.number%divisorTable.divisor=0
group by numberTable.number having count(*)<=1 order by numberTable.number) resultTable;
9 -
Had a plan to master JavaScript in 4 months and then, cover HTML and CSS in the next 3 months followed by Java in the remaining 5 months.
10 years later, I am still learning JavaScript.9 -
My Typical Project
1. Identify common problem
2. Investigate options
3. Come up with clever solution
4. Implement backend solution
5. Get fed up with current frontend
6. Investigate other frontend
7. Realize perpetual chaos in Javascript landscape
8. Lie down in a corner
9. Cry myself to sleep4 -
How to Prank someone on Windows:
1: Take screenshot of desktop with cursor on the side so its not visible.
2: Set it as wallpaper
3: Hide desktop icons and taskbar
4: Go to mouse settings and invert it
5: ....
6: Profit18 -
teaching myself pointers right now
here is my learning process right now:
1. what even is this
2. wow this is neat
3. why does this even exist
4. what even is this
5. repeat9 -
Me: Dear Boss, what should I do first? Thanks 😇
1. Rush
2. ASAP
3. Urgent
4. Important
5. Priority
6. I Need That Now5 -
1. Buy a road
2. Name it after an sql injection
3. Have mail delivered to you
4. ...
5. Profit... I guess?7 -
0. Get a raise
1. Nove out
2. Learn GoLang
3. Have a threesome
4. More weed
5. Build a blockchain project6 -
Weekend plan:
1. I will watch react conf
2. I want to complete vim cheat sheet
3. LFS project is too
4. Netflix
5. ........
...
.
.
Electricity : 😈
Fuck..
😡2 -
0. Problem
1. Thinking of an algo
2. Writing a code
3. Compile
4. Compile Error
5. Fixing bugs
...
6. Finally compiled!!
7. Running a test
8. Run time error
9. Fixing bugs
...
10. Finally I can see the result !!!!
11. Shit!
12. LOGICAL ERROR :/3 -
What Keeps u awake all night
(When u have to complete a project overnight)
1. Cigarette?
2.Weed?
3. Coffee?
4. Tea?
5. Redbull?
6. Beer?
7. Glucose? (As in my case 😛)
8. Anything else?61 -
What NOT to create in 2018:
1. macOS note taking apps in Electron
2. Text editors in Electron
3. Pretty much everything in Electron
4. “Simple” and “minimalistic” programming languages
5. Web frameworks4 -
1. Decide to learn optimisation algorithms
2. Realise that you have forgotten calculus
3. Decide to learn from the beginning
4. Search for tutorials
5. Go through the introduction parts
6. You know that you can't complete
7. You watch other entertainment things on YouTube.
Stories of a lazy programmer...11 -
My plan:
1. Draw the logo in paper with black marker
2. Scan with the infamous printer
3. Load in GIMP
4. Edit some parts
5. Put some colors
6. Print or save as image file
7. Use everywhere
As I start to do step 2, I noticed something VERY wrong.
FML
24 -
My favorite languages are
1. Python (3)
2. PHP
3. JavaScript
4. Ruby
5. Java
Honorable mention: C++
Can anyone agree?38 -
1) Download version 46 of Firefox as required.
2) Install version 46
3) Open Firefox
4) Firefox then auto updates to version 52
5) Face smash desk and repeat4 -
My favorite method?
Step 1: Meet Morpheus
Step 2: Swallow red pill
Step 3: Wake up from the Matrix
Step 4: Upload needed Knowledge directly to my brain
Step 5: Go back to Matrix4 -
1. Indent with 3 spaces to fuck both tabs guys and spaces guys git repos.
2. Use windows line endings and laugh and laugh and laugh.
3. Giant full page ascii art intro on every single file.
4. After the giant ascii art intro there are literally zero comments.
5. Keep the bracket on the same line for getters, but on the next line for setters because fuck you.17 -
1. Start programming to solve a beautiful problem.
2. Setting up my IDE.
3. Creating nem project.
4. Start coding, but dig into first little problem.
5. After 10 hours give up.4 -
How to become a hacker😎
1.Go to the store get a black hoodie, wear it and go infront of the PC.
2.Turn on the PC with WINDOWS😂
3.Change cmd font colour to green.
4.Type the following code in cmd.
ping 192.168.1.1 -c 9999999
5.OK now do that in again and again in 2-3 terminals.Now your desktop is full with black and green😋.
5.Take some pics of it and upload stories😍.
6.OK now your a HACKER😎10 -
Fun drinking game.
1. Phone Indian "Tech Support"
2. Drink every time they "E for echo" or some variant of that.
3. Finally tell them your using Linux.
4. Hang up.
5 Rinse and repeat.2 -
how people count
normal people: 1 2 3 4 5 6....
me: 0 1 2 3 4 5 6...
them: wtf u doing, 0 is not included8 -
Learning a new programming language:
1. reading basics
2. creates small programs
3. plan new projects
4. search everything else in the internet
5. output: we have become code gods
*winks at stack overflow and github*5 -
1. Mailserver is down.
2. Write a ticket to provider.
3. Can't get a reponse because of 1.
4. ?????
5. Profit
6. Scratch that. We're a start-up.5 -
1. I am reading a rant.
2. I get a mega urge to check my ++'s.
3. I don't want to go to Menu > Profile.
4. I comment on the rant.
5. I check my ++'s.
6. I delete the comment.5 -
For fucks sake if I send you a clearly described 5 step install instructions do not start on step 3! Yes you fucking moron instructions labeled 1,2,3,4,5 should be carried out one after the other! Not in random order.
Seriously, how deranged are you that you have never ever encountered a step-by-step instruction before?!
Don't give me that "oh, should I have started with step 1 first? You weren't very clear about that. I think it is a bit too complicated."
Here are some more instructions:
1. Close your PC
2. Donate it to someone with detectable IQ level
3. Go fuck yourself
4. Please die
5. Yes, start with step 15 -
You want to be Satan?
1) Make this their desktop background
2) Install a program that disables their mouse.
3) hide their taskbar
4) hide their desktop icons.
5) Profit!
7 -
Pro tip of the decade found on quora:
How to beat procrastination?
Start by this :" I will start my work in 5...4...3...2...1" and just jump of the place and go to work5 -
How to solve a problem in 7 steps.
1. Google
2. Open links
3. Read
4. Copy
5. Paste
6. Run
7. Repeat until solve2 -
Long time lurker, first time poster.
My goals for week 200:
1. Get engaged to my girlfriend
2. Finish my ems
3. Begin plans for launching my startup
4. Leave my deadend retail job, get a real job, and actually use the degree I spent 34k to get.
5. Keep learning cool new shit.1 -
1. get a job interview in google
2. design a kitchen
3. ???????
4. the kitchen is for a giraffe
5.?!?!?!!?
6. new kitchen
7. a baby giraffe
8.??!?!?!??!??!??!??!??!??!??!?!?
9. we will call you
10. __time passes__
11. no call
12.X_X14 -
Method 1:
1. Read others' people answers on wk70
2. Apply
3. ???
4. Profit
Method 2:
1. cd <ProjectName>
2. git init
3. dotnet new sln
4. dotnet new console #or webapi/lib
5. code .
6. git commit -m "Initial commit"
7. git remote add origin <github link>
8. git push origin master -u
9. profit1 -
story points that equate to hours.
1 = 1 hour
2 = 1-2 hours
3 = 3-4 hours
5 = 6-8 hours
8 = Kill. Me.
13 = Now.3 -
Top 5 World’s Most Hated Programming Languages
1. Perl
2. Delphi
3. VBA
4. Objective-C
5. PHP
Which one do you hate most?
16 -
1. Naming all variables with letters of the alphabets
2. Not indenting (screw tabs VS spaces, I could use anything here)
3. Putting all src files in one directory
4. Writing the entire code without using any functions
5. Writing code and asking me to fix linting
6. Asking why they should follow language style guidelines4 -
I am currently refactoring my code:
1. 200 errors
2. fixed them!!!!
3. build the solution...
4. wait for the build to complete...
5. 300 errors
6. FML5 -
*Me trying to store a game in a CD ~15 years ago*
1. Burning desktop link of the game into it.
2. Burning the .exe file only ...
3. Moving whole game folder into a CD ...
4. Installing something called DirectX. I remember, it should be in one of my CDs.
5. Playing the game.3 -
Email to Client: "Thank you for the payment. Attached is your invoice. Would you mind providing a review? :)"
Client 1: "is very very good"
Client 2: "A+"
Client 3: "Awesome"
Client 4: "Good job"
Client 5: "good."4 -
1)Get Project/idea
2)Look for the most suitable tech
3)Draw out all the functionality
4)Break into milestones
5)git init
6) git commit
7) Start
8) Test
9) Complete
10) Feel like a King7 -
Steps to work on android studio -
1] Open android studio
2] Wait for an hour.
3] Wait for the build.
4] Build failed.
5] Get frustrated, close it.
6] Repeat 1-5.10 -
Morning Ritual
1. Start all devices
2. Check headset status
3. Check emails
4. COFFEE <3
5. First call...
6. 20 annoying minutes of two people talk to each other without a result
7. COFFEE <3 ... cold1 -
1. Read about software engineering/design patterns, tools etc.
2. Adopt information to my requirements
3. Write code
4. Delete my shitty code from point 3.
5. Goto point 34 -
Allright, this one begs for a rant.
Me (Linux boi):
0 checkout code
1 update local config file
2 compile
3 deploy locally
4 run
5 use
Coleague (Windows boi):
0 checkout code
1 update local config file
2 compile
3 deploy locally
4 run
-1 "configuration xyz not found in config file"
→ goto #3
After 4 attempts:
ø windows.reboot()
3 deploy locally
4 run
-1 "configuration xyz not found in config file"
3 deploy locally
4 run
5 use
// out of curiosity...
3 deploy locally
4 run
-1 "configuration xyz not found in config file"
NO side actions taken (no configs updated, no code changes made, no nothing. Just simple double-clicking the redeploy script again and again)
Now... How do you objectively explain THAT?
http://weknowmemes.com/2013/01/... IRL :)8 -
If we compare this list with last year’s list, nothing much has changed. The top three worst passwords of last year were ‘123456’, ‘password’, and ‘123456789’. Source : Splashdata
Top 10 worst passwords in 2019 below:
1. 123456
2. 123456789
3. qwerty
4. password
5. 1234567
6. 12345678
7. 12345
8. iloveyou
9. 111111
10. 12312315 -
Not usually a person to rant about spacing and conventions but this is great.
4 devs, all using IntelliJ. Now IntelliJ auto-changes tabs to spaces which is nice, and GitHub doesn’t really care as long as the spacing is consistent. Now here is the fun part: 2 devs have 4 spaces per tab, 1 has 3 spaces, 1 has 5 spaces.
GitHub merge conflicts everyWHERE.
And yes it isn’t the old 2 vs 4 spaces. It’s 3 vs 4 vs 5 somehow6 -
1. Browse devRant mobile app
2. Open a rant
3. Switch to browser to check something quickly
4. Switch back to devRant after like 3 seconds
5. Previously opened rant is gone and I'm back at latest rants feed
3 -
What do you wanna become? / What are you?
1. PHP Developer
2. Python Developer
3. Node.Js Developer
4. JavaScript Developer
5. Java Developer
6. Android Developer
7. Other (please mention in comment)65 -
Top 5 biggest questions
1 What is the universe made of?
2 How did life begin?
3 Are we alone in the universe?
4 How to exit vim?
5 Why do we dream?8 -
1. Identify the problem
2. Come up with a clever solution
3. Refactor half of your code
4. Watch it fail horribly because you're such an idiot it's a bloody miracle you keep breathing on your own
5. Repeat2 -
As a fellow devRant user, what is it you primarily look for in this app ?
0. Some place to rant
1. Dev jokes/memes
2. Observer. devNews.
3. devProjects
4. Here because you don't like being in the presence of people but want to socialise anyway.
5. Finding your partner in life.25 -
1) Open IE or Edge
2) Search "download chrome"
3) Click on top hit
4) Download and run installer
5) Enjoy adware9 -
Working from home routine (Lockdown edition):
1. Wakeup at 8am
2. Meeting at 8:30am
3. Next 3 hours just focus on coding
4. Push code to source control
5. Focus on myself6 -
1) Create UI library for iOS and Android with 5000+ stars on GitHub
2) Get noticed by Apple for library and interview and work there
3) Get married to my lovely girlfriend
4) Have kids
5) Fuck all yo truck stops and yo biznatch lisbetan asses1 -
1. Visit the official site.
2. Browse for official tools.
3. Check the official documentation.
4. Check the Internet for other non-audiovisual sources.
5. Try making a simple application.
6. Run out of application ideas.
7. Move on to the next shiny dev technology.
8. Go to step #1. -
If you know you gave devrant a 1,2 or 3⭐ please update your ratings to a 4 and 5⭐ since the issues are already fixed.
5 -
Apple macbook engineering department hard at work:
1) Some app freezes
2) Then the Touch-bar freezes
3) I hit cmd+alt+esc to force close it
4) Touch bar is frozen so esc won’t work
5) *confused noises*8 -
1. Learn Kotlin
2. Actually sit down and push through machine learning.
3. Finish integral calculus and start multivariable calc.
4. Work on 1 project until completion.
5. Socialize a bit more.
6. Obliterate bugs.5 -
My dev Golas for 2019:
1. Control the chaos in the startup.
2. Go on trip or trekking
3. Lose at least 10 kg. (currently 83 kg)
4. Start waking up before 9 o clock
5. Help maintain a open-source library.
6. Make a open-source library.2 -
So in my 6 ppl dev team management had to do cuts and pulled a jira report of story points sum of the past 10 months, it went like this:
1. 307
2. 307
3. 283
4. 274
5. 257
6. 220
The 6. Guy is a teamlead so he was safe. 4 and 5 guys were fired with zero notice and 1 weeks severance pay (we are contractors).
Best part is that remaining 2. And 3. devs produce very low quality code. But hey, they have enough story points. Managament didnt even bother to discuss with teamlead about who to keep. Workload is the same, we were told to "level up".
You can't make this shit up. US based startups man.11 -
Basic OOPS Question -
A unit of computer information that contains data as well as all the procedures or operations is called:
(1) A method.
(2) Encapsulation.
(3) An object.
(4) An OOP
(5) None of these
This question is a bit confusing to me.. what do you guys think? 🙄19 -
!rant
User: "Hello, I'd like to hear a torrent joke."
Tracker: "I will refer you to people who can tell you a torrent joke."
Peer 1: "Why d"
Peer 2: "cken "
Peer 3: "road?"
Peer 4: "id th"
Peer 3: "cross"
Peer 1: "e chi"
Peer 5: " the "
Peer 2: "the o"
Peer 4: "To ge"
Peer 1: "side."
Peer 5: "ther"
Peer 2: "t to " -
1. Project start: requirement gathering
2. Create workflows and prototypes
3. Customer confirms the workflow and prototypes
4. Develop the system
5. Initial feedback : customer is happy
6. Testing and deployment
7. Customer changes the requirement to something completely different and says you just need to click a button to implement the changes
Wtf!!!!!!!5 -
1. Understand APIs without reading documentation.
2. Write correct code from first try.
3. Know to program in every language.
4. Create the perfect fully functional AI system.
5. Center objects vertically with one line CSS at target object.3 -
Step 1: Acquire Rasbpery Pi
Step 2: Install Rasbian Lite
Step 3: Install PiHole
Step 4: Setup VPN
Step 5: Get a domain name for the VPN server
Step 6: Install OpenVPN on Phone
Step 7: Connect to Rasbperry PiHole Server
NO MORE ADS MOTHERFUCKERS9 -
My small collection
2 DD 8" floppy disks
2 MD 2-D 5" 1/4 floppy disks
2 HD 3" 1/2 floppy disks
1 Jaz disk
1 unassembled 3" 1/2 floppy disk
1 PalmOne sticker to learn the letters of Graffiti 2 (I had a M100, but I do not anything related to it anymore.)
5 -
Your choice. Select one
1.
foo (bar) {
return true;
}
2.
foo (bar)
{
return true;
}
3.
foo (bar) { return true; }
4.
foo (bar)
return true;
5. Collapse
|-------------------|
| foo (bar) ... |
|-------------------|
6.
#define foo boo
#define bar par
#define ( `
#define ) '
#define return go_home
#define true false
#define { ☞
#define } ☜
6-1.
boo `par' ☞
go_home false;
☜
6-2
boo `par'
☞
go_home false;
☜
6-3.
boo `par' ☞ go_home false; ☜
6-4.
boo `par'
go_home false;
6-5.
|--------------------|
| boo (par) ... |
|--------------------|
Select and Comment below.
Or add your own.27 -
#1 Take French language lessons to revive my long time ago knowledge.
#2 Read as many as I can books on dev topics
#3 Do more outdoor activities (sports)
#4 Liquidate my fucking bank loan
#5 Buy some nice wheels for my car
#6 Try to socialize more
#7 Be part of aiding childrens in need / abandoned ones -
1) Remove kernel linux
2) Change kernel to linux-zen
3) Make init ramdisk
4) Everythings great -> hit reboot
5) Stuck at Grub
Me: Fuck.. Forgot to update grub config.
(Lesson : RTFM first.)1 -
git commit message that I hate:
1. "Adjustment"
2. "Improvement"
3. "Fix Bug"
4. "I commit it but there are bug in this code"
5. "Client request"
YOU KNOW BE MORE SPECIFIC ON YOUR COMMIT MESSAGE!!!9 -
Goals
1. Learn android development
2. Spend more time coding than procastinating (its not my job)
3. Learn more cpp
4. Publish my first android app
5. Finish my current project2 -
On Mac, open Terminal...
1. Enter cd ~/
2. Enter emacs
3. Press Esc
4. Enter X
5. Enter either; tetris, snake, or pong
6. Enjoy!
2 -
1) Helping my girlfriend getting her graduation.
2) Maxing out my Cassette collection
3) Repairing my Gameboy
4) Growing my plants, especially my Carolina Reaper chili
5) Visiting my friends across the country
6) Lots of things that might or might not be illegal but fun5 -
Me to university: You taught us C++, java, DS Algo and PHP only right?
University: Yes
Me: So our college project must be around these only?
University: Yes... But No, here are your only options for our college project
1. MEAN/MERN Stack Website
2. Machine Learning
3. Data Science
4. IOT
5. Android App
Me: WTF?
5 -
1. Send the contract for a new project to the customer
2. They inform you that the project is canceled
...
...
3. Receive the contract signed by the customer
...
4. ???
5. PROFIT3 -
1. You find out a new song
2. You love that song.
3. It's your favorite song now.
4. You keep on listening it on repeat for like a 1000 times.
5. Now you hate the song.
Is it only me or is this common ಠ︵ಠ5 -
1. Gaming
2. Music "development" (I suck tho)
3. Netflix and chill, just without Netflix
4. Trying to write a book and procrastination is going great so far
5. Cats. Are. Life -
!rant
Certainly considering handing in my notice soon.
1. Paid minimum wage with no prospect of a raise
2. Spending £200 a month on travel
3. Traveling for almost 4 hours (70 miles) a day on bus and train
4. Promised training but nothing produced for 8 months
5. Expected to now pay for further travel
6. Not taken seriously...
Yep, need a new job in the Birmingham, UK area19 -
Using a mac from time to time:
1) Open browser
2) Open Gmail website
3) Insert email address
4) Press CMD+Q to write @
5) FUCK!!!2 -
You know a website launch is going to go smoothly when:
1) it survives multiple reviews,
2) it's packaged up and sent to the client,
3) client tells you there's incorrect info,
4) incorrect info matches current site, and
5) client doesn't provide the correct info.
😑3 -
1) Hike on mount everest
2) Job that I'll love
3) Go on road trip with my friends
4) Renovate home
5) Create my own operating system(not based on Linux kernel!)
Let's hope for the best!2 -
1. Focus on learning; earning should come secondary
2. If it doesn't add anything to your resume, it's probably not worth picking up
3. Do not re-invent the wheel. Explore third parties and libraries thoroughly. Use them as much as you can.
4. If you stuck at a problem for more than 2-3 hours: post on stackoverflow
5. Plan, create deadlines, and focus as if an executive chose you.
Lazy = failure!5 -
Step 1: Become a freelancer
Step 2: Enjoy working
Step 3: Get annoyed by doing all the backoffce
Step 4: Get hired instead
Step 5: Work hard
Step 6: Boss notices your talent
Step 7: Boss founds startup with you
Step 8: Repeat Step2 until you have to repeat Step45 -
How to reverse engineer without knowing how to reverse engineer:
1.Open IDA pro
2. Hit shift+f12 for the strings view
3. Choose an interesting string
4. Hit x and go over the xrefs
5. You are now earning at least $140K a year.
Bonus: say that you can code html2 -
I just discovered that the school my toddler goes to has a policy where they have a meeting with you if your kid gets there late 3 times.
I'm fine with something like 5, but 3!!!!
Jesus fucking christ, she's 4!
The amount of effort I have to put to awake, bathe, dress and feed this kid is unholy, and the time it takes can fluctuate.4 -
1 - Stop working from home and start my own office
2 - Get more clients as a consultant/software house
4 - Launch SASS products overseas to get more 5x income
5 - 6 travel at least 3 times to other states -
Being in Data Science and Mobile Development taught me :
1.Always be curious
2.Never stop learning
3.Never give up
4.Don't be afraid of Experimenting new Technologies
5.Don't always take ,Give More ,Share More!!
Do Share What your Domain taught you in the Comments 😀4 -
1.Get my SOLIDWORKS cert
2. Microsoft Certs
3. Microsoft Python Cert
4. Buy a 9 string
5. Have my album ready for August
... Any other suggestions for a somewhat beginner Python Dev3 -
Step 1: Make an account on some website with the username "{username}"
Step 2 : Take a screenshot when the website sends you some kind of personalised email
Step 3 : Add some caption saying "lol this website is so broken!!1!1!!"
Step 4 : ???
Step 5 : profit1 -
Come up with a bad version of flipping a bool's value. (value = !value)
I'll start with a bad way of doing it in C# (.NET):
char[] bca = boolWert.ToString();
if (bca.Length == 4 && bca[0] == 't' && bca[1] == 'r' && bca[2] == 'u' && bca[3] == 'e')
{
boolWert = !bool.Parse($"{bca[0]}{bca[1]}{bca[2]}{bca[3]}");
}
else if (bca.Length == 5 && bca[0] == 'f' && bca[1] == 'a' && bca[2] == 'l' && bca[3] == 's' && bca[4] == 'e')
{
boolWert = !bool.Parse($"{bca[0]}{bca[1]}{bca[2]}{bca[3]}{bca[4]}");
}
else throw new Exception("y e s");4 -
My bi-annual ritual:
1. Get home after 5 months
2. By cheap ear/head-phones
3. Use them for the next 5 months till they wear out
4. Repeat
😂😂
Also watches. But I gave up on those back in school.😛1 -
This is easy. Irl fork and acquire commands to let me reposess the knowledge of my children.
Things i can do while playing games:
0: work
1: sleep
2: eat
3: sex
4: workout
5: travel the world
6: troll my ex
7: read every post on DevRant1 -
I love listening to music while coding, mainly metal/rock/classical
Comment with 10 tracks from your playlist .... Here are my 10
0. Disturbed - stricken
1. Tremonti - decay
2. Black label society - bored to tears
3. Ac/dc - back in black
4. Rolling Stones - paint it black
5. Gary Moore- still got the blues
6. Carcass - blind bleeding the blind
7. Alter bridge - metalingus
8. Fear factory - linch pin
9. Pantera - 5 minutes alone8 -
Web class(html)
1.how to create table
2.how to use Colspan
3.how to use Rowspan
4.Col+row
5.(O_O)
*cant use css*annoying but at the same time awesome..next class gonna be javascript cant wait 👌🏻👌🏻
#Student #Html #webprogramming5 -
5 steps to make your coworkers go nuts.
Step 1: Get on their computer while they're not around.
Step 2: Choose a bit of their code and make it so it's in one long line.
Step 3: Comment out the line.
Step 4: Change the text color to the color of the editor's background.
Step 5: Watch them going nuts.9 -
Dev goals for 2018? Oh my..
#1: Never have to post my own question on Stack Overflow.
#2: Stop fixing everyone's computer for free.
#3: Stop coding while intoxicated (at home worry - don't worry ;)
#4: More side projects.
and..
#5: Buy more coffee varieties 😂😂😍 -
Here's my flow:
1. Sit at my desk and contemplate the Universe
2. Sort out specifics by pacing back and forward
3. Draw like a mad man
4. Copy an old project and change a few lines of code
5. Go home happy that the Universe is safe once again
;)2 -
“Do we run the technology, or does the technology run us?” Current Sr. Google Engineer Goes Public on Camera: Tech is “dangerous”, “taking sides”
https://youtu.be/ricI5t66cj8
He’s fired in 5...4...3...13 -
Project deadline = 7 days
Day 0: start coding
Day 1: few bugs and crashes
Day 2: fixed those bugs project is 30% done
Day 3: ok I have time... sleep
Day 4: sleep
Day 5: sleep
Day 6: 48h coding to finish the project on time.4 -
1. Watch tutorial
2. Build project
3. “I’VE LEARNED NOTHING!!”
4. Call down pox upon instructor and seven generations
5. Rewatch tutorial
6. Get it
7. “Sorry about the boils” -
It takes so much effort to put a quality video on YouTube.
1. Researching
2. Scripting
3. Recording ( screen record while doing the hands on of the topic, drawing concepts on whiteboard + voice over )
4. Editing
5. Thumbnail
Then upload.3 -
Pro tip: how to reply to more than one person
1) click reply
2) close the reply by pressing the x button in the upper left hand corner.
3) click reply button of another person. Their name should now be added
4) Reference a Null Pointer
5) Profit?14 -
1. A login window or form appears
2. Enter username
3. Enter p-
4. Another application STEALS THE FUCKING FOCUS
5. Enter half of the (or the whole) password in the app that stealed the focus and press Enter by mere inertia
Or this variant:
4. The username field gets autofocused
5. Enter the password in the username field, out in the clear for everyone to see
DON'T YOU STEAL ME FOCKING FOCUS MATE3 -
me: Imma start working on this project I have been putting off for a week
me after messing with the chrome console for 30 mins:
(5&&!2||(5||30=== 9)+(2||3==-1)+(22&&7)+(4||5&&3===4&&2)+(!5||5))*(!3||3)+([][[]]+{})[+[]+(![]==[])]+([][[]]+{})[+[]+(![]==[])+(![]==[])+(![]==[])+(![]==[])+(![]==[])]+(typeof(()=>{}))[+[]+(![]==[])+(![]==[])+(![]==[])]+([][[]]+{})[+[]+(![]==[])+(![]==[])+(![]==[])]2 -
1. Write hello world shit.
2. Write hello world shit on top of hello world shit.
3. Write more hello world shit on top of hello world shit on top of hello world shit.
4. ...... Repeat shit
5. Wait a minute, I got an idea....4 -
Goals -
1. Learn frontend and backend development. Move out of "Just android developer" description
2. Move out of this shitty MNC and get a job in a good company
3. Blog more
4. Give talks
5. Get fit
6. Have a nice gf ( one can hope)
Can I achieve this much? I'll try my best for sure. -
Incident 0:
1. Saw an interesting job opening
2. Sent the resume
3. Received an email mentioning not qualified.
Incident 1:
1. Saw an interesting job opening
2. Sent the resume
3. Hr scheduled an interview
4. Interview went good
5. Havent heard any thing ftom hr yet, neither positive nor negative.
I hope I dont need to mention the countries in both cases.4 -
Trying to get some information about a product:
1. Opening the manufacturers webpage, gets a crawler protection page presented, 30 kB
2. The actual website opens, 600 kB + an endless amount of javaScript.
3. Tries to download a PDF, a extra download page is opened, another 600 kB and even more JS.
4 Download the Download a PDF, 3 MB
5. Read the information in that PDF which would fit into 8 kB.2 -
Google cloud platform.
1. Great documentation and support
2. Good free tier & dev freebies
3. Cloud console + SDK rock
4. Did I mention the great documentation?
5. Seriously the documentation ❤ -
I think I finally found my level of lazyness:
I rather go 2 minutes by feet and take a 15 minute bus ride instead of going 5 minutes by feet to take a 3-4 minute metro ride.2 -
1. Exporting fat jar
2. Transferring to cluster using WinSCP
3. Running it in the cluster.
4. Find a small bug.
5. Repeat
I HATE IT1 -
1. using "if... then... else..." When explaining something tru slack to non tech people
2. buying lamps i can program
3. dreaming abt my code
4. dreaming abt the solution
5. trying to make bot to send happy birthday msg -
1. Get more fluent with c#
2. Move together with my girlfriend
3. Get my band started after a 2 year break
4. Increase my salary
5. Decrease my worked hours (I have to many thinks I really enjoy doing)
6. Finally ban JQuery from my workspace for all time3 -
FUN CHALLENGE
1. Open an incognito browser window
2. navigate to devrant.com
3. enter your username and password
4. open this rant/post
5. post a comment "SUCCESS"
6. do all of the above w/o using your hands (e.g. use your toes)19 -
Here’s my step-by-step guide for the idiot:
1) take <cutting-egde tech> (Tech)
2) read documentation for Tech
3) figure out what you want to do with Tech
4) if you are being ambitious, simplify the idea appropriately
5) Go do the thing with the Tech
6 When you fail at something, RTFM
7) Rinse and repeat2 -
This way of converting "string" to "s" (for example)
0) program reads the whole buffer, stores it as an array of instructions
1) program reverses the order of the instructions
2) parser makes standard token from an instruction ("asd" -> ASD)
3) parser2 assigns operands to instruction
4) parser 3 makes string from instruction token ?????
5) parser fucking 4 makeS A MUTABLE STRING INSTRUCTION
6) PARSER FIVE SUBSTITUES OPERANDS
7) AND THEN CUTS IT TO A REVERSED ARRAY OF COMMANDS
8) AND PUSHES IT UNTO THE STACK
WHAT1 -
Digital minds, ranked:
1. Skynet
2. GLADOS
3. HAL-9000
4. The OS from movie “Her”
5. GPT-4
6. GPT-3
7. Clippy from MS Word 2003
8. Half-Life 1 cockroach ai
9. a brain-dead Markov chain
10. human ai from cyberpunk 2077 beta
11. virtual therapist from Emacs
12. GPT-4o6 -
1) search a project on github
2) read its documentation and decide if it's worth it
3) read contribution guide lines
4) contribute
5) start at 1) -
Updating Oxygen OS....
1. WARNING: You will lose root.... OK
2. Fastboot TWRP
3, Install TWRP
4. Flash Magisk
5. Restart
6. Reinstall xposed from Magisk Installer
7. Restart
10. Re-enable Gravitybox in xposed
11. Restart
All done... did i do something wrong?7 -
You think you know agile? Which of the following is the most useless? Sort them in an ascending way (where 5 brings the most value) :
1) Product Owner
2) Project Coordinator
3) Project Lead
4) Front office
5) the cleaning lady2 -
1) read about it
2) search * sucks and read it
3) create something decently beginner frendly
4) if it was hard find something better
5) if pretty easy make something useful1 -
1-Trying to learn vb6 and failed
2-trying to learn vb.net and failed
3-try to learn asp.net c# then failed
4-web design, failed
5-security, failed
6-network, failed
7-learn how to avoid proctasting
8-learning java and android, and all goes fine -
when you have to validate an email address to fit the requirements of some stupid mail software
(^$|^([^<>()\[\].,;:\s@!&#$%+'{}|~*="]+(\.?[^<>()\[\].,;:\s@!&#$%'{}|~*="]+)*))@((25[0-5]|2[0-4][0-9]|[01]?[0-9][0-9]?)(\.(25[0-5]|2[0-4][0-9]|[01]?[0-9][0-9]?)){3}|(([a-zA-Z\-0-9]+.)+[a-zA-Z]{2,})$)
I'm not even sorry.6 -
We all talk about the little things that screw us for days. Here is mine.
The same program with 4 executables pointing to bat files that all run differently. The executables to launch this program are in different places. 3 of the 4 are broken but give all appearances that they are functional. The one that works is buried in another directory that has 3 executables of the same type. Take your pick.
Short story, a 5 day problem solved by double-clicking the right icon. -
1. Open project
2. Project builds successfully
3. Make a bunch of changes
4. Build fails
5. Undo changes
6. Build succeeds again
7. Reapply changes from #3
8. Build succeeds
Someone explain this to me!3 -
This is why you don't hire your son's friend to build your company's website. From a live (new) customer site that needs to be rewritten:
<h2><span class="wsite-text wsite-headline">
<font size="6"><font size="5"><font size="4"><font size="3"><font size="4"><font size="5"><font size="6"><font size="7"><font size="7"><font size="7"><font size="7"><font size="7"></font></font></font></font></font></font></font></font></font></font></font></font><strong><font color="#e4e3f1" size="7">***REDACTED TITLE***</font></strong>
</span></h2>7 -
Fast quitz:
1. Desktops or Laptops?
2. Windows or Linux?
3. Coke or Pepsi?
4. Instant coffee or regular coffee?
5. Light theme or dark theme?
6. Tabs or spaces?
Let's the hell begin! 😈30 -
The six stages of debugging:
1. That can't happen.
2. That doesn't happen on my machine.
3. That shouldn't happen.
4. Why does that happen?
5. Oh, I see.
6. How did that ever work?1 -
How to impress PM:
1. Prepare a critical bug, that makes the frontend crash
2. Prepare a hotfix, that fixes the bug
3. Deploy bug on Friday afternoon
4. Wait until PM starts panicking
5. Deploy hotfix after 5 min
6. Get praise from PM5 -
So the files I deleted by mistake and took me 3 days to write ( was writing vuejs for the first time ), took me just 4-5 hours to re-write 90% of it, again. Damn2
-
1. Study C and Python
2. Learn NLP and ML
3. Participate again in one hackathon and kick their ass after winning it
4. Get one awesome internship
5. Master algorithms and DS -
Every person project cycle.
1.thinking 2.making bitbucket private repo 3.Making slack channel for contributors.4 Explaining the idea 5.the end.
I seriously need to work after step 5 -
If you don't have
1. Chronic depression.
2. Episodes of pure mania.
3. Low self esteem.
4. Superiority complex.
5. Drugs/Pills dependency.
6. Identity crisis.
7. Mind numbing migraines.
8. Carpal tunnel.
all of the above at the same time, can u even call yourself a software developer?12 -
1. Use all my vacation days
2. Learn something that has nothing to do with computers (seriously I bore myself sometimes in conversation)
3. Drink more rum and learn about it at the same time
4. Make time for friends and family
5. No massive outages!
Mostly I want to step out of work and be more sociable1 -
Saw this wk100 tag all over devrant so here are my goals :
1. Drop my current job with a shitty boss (working with Flash in 2018)
2. Work with one of my teacher
3. Find a girlfriend
4. Riding my bycicle every day
5. Meditate every day6 -
1. Think about it.
2. Get super hyped.
3. Tell everyone.
4. Go to step 1.
5. Plan it
6. Execute
7. Profit.3 -
1. I have Animal Crossing
2. My internet can drop to 0.8Mbps
3. I have Animal Crossing
4. My internet can drop out 10 times a day
5. I have animal crossing
6. My office pc is my gaming rig
7. I have... I think you get the gist1 -
1. Learn Vue.js
2. Learn some backend framework or language like Express.js or ROR
3.Learn Mongo DB
4. Make a progressive web app
5. ???
6.profit? -
1. Attend some conference
2. Get Stickers and goodies
3. Now you remember you have stickers all over your laptop
4. Give it away to your friends
5. Behave like Buddha1 -
1. Update some packages
2. Linux machine stops working soon after
3. Panic
4. Go get windows machine to help me troubleshoot the issue
5. Starts windows update on startup
6. Panic some more -
So I promised a post after work last night, discussing the new factorization technique.
As before, I use a method called decon() that takes any number, like 697 for example, and first breaks it down into the respective digits and magnitudes.
697 becomes -> 600, 90, and 7.
It then factors *those* to give a decomposition matrix that looks something like the following when printed out:
offset: 3, exp: [[Decimal('2'), Decimal('3')], [Decimal('3'), Decimal('1')], [Decimal('5'), Decimal('2')]]
offset: 2, exp: [[Decimal('2'), Decimal('1')], [Decimal('3'), Decimal('2')], [Decimal('5'), Decimal('1')]]
offset: 1, exp: [[Decimal('7'), Decimal('1')]]
Each entry is a pair of numbers representing a prime base and an exponent.
Now the idea was that, in theory, at each magnitude of a product, we could actually search through the *range* of the product of these exponents.
So for offset three (600) here, we're looking at
2^3 * 3 ^ 1 * 5 ^ 2.
But actually we're searching
2^3 * 3 ^ 1 * 5 ^ 2.
2^3 * 3 ^ 1 * 5 ^ 1
2^3 * 3 ^ 1 * 5 ^ 0
2^3 * 3 ^ 0 * 5 ^ 2.
2^3 * 3 ^ 1 * 5 ^ 1
etc..
On the basis that whatever it generates may be the digits of another magnitude in one of our target product's factors.
And the first optimization or filter we can apply is to notice that assuming our factors pq=n,
and where p <= q, it will always be more efficient to search for the digits of p (because its under n^0.5 or the square root), than the larger factor q.
So by implication we can filter out any product of this exponent search that is greater than the square root of n.
Writing this code was a bit of a headache because I had to deal with potentially very large lists of bases and exponents, so I couldn't just use loops within loops.
Instead I resorted to writing a three state state machine that 'counted down' across these exponents, and it just works.
And now, in practice this doesn't immediately give us anything useful. And I had hoped this would at least give us *upperbounds* to start our search from, for any particular digit of a product's factors at a given magnitude. So the 12 digit (or pick a magnitude out of a hat) of an example product might give us an upperbound on the 2's exponent for that same digit in our lowest factor q of n.
It didn't work out that way. Sometimes there would be 'inversions', where the exponent of a factor on a magnitude of n, would be *lower* than the exponent of that factor on the same digit of q.
But when I started tearing into examples and generating test data I started to see certain patterns emerge, and immediately I found a way to not just pin down these inversions, but get *tight* bounds on the 2's exponents in the corresponding digit for our product's factor itself. It was like the complications I initially saw actually became a means to *tighten* the bounds.
For example, for one particular semiprime n=pq, this was some of the data:
n - offset: 6, exp: [[Decimal('2'), Decimal('5')], [Decimal('5'), Decimal('5')]]
q - offset: 6, exp: [[Decimal('2'), Decimal('6')], [Decimal('3'), Decimal('1')], [Decimal('5'), Decimal('5')]]
It's almost like the base 3 exponent in [n:7] gives away the presence of 3^1 in [q:6], even
though theres no subsequent presence of 3^n in [n:6] itself.
And I found this rule held each time I tested it.
Other rules, not so much, and other rules still would fail in the presence of yet other rules, almost like a giant switchboard.
I immediately realized the implications: rules had precedence, acted predictable when in isolated instances, and changed in specific instances in combination with other rules.
This was ripe for a decision tree generated through random search.
Another product n=pq, with mroe data
q(4)
offset: 4, exp: [[Decimal('2'), Decimal('4')], [Decimal('5'), Decimal('3')]]
n(4)
offset: 4, exp: [[Decimal('2'), Decimal('3')], [Decimal('3'), Decimal('2')], [Decimal('5'), Decimal('3')]]
Suggesting that a nontrivial base 3 exponent (**2 rather than **1) suggests the exponent on the 2 in the relevant
digit of [n], is one less than the same base 2 digital exponent at the same digit on [q]
And so it was clear from the get go that this approach held promise.
From there I discovered a bunch more rules and made some observations.
The bulk of the patterns, regardless of how large the product grows, should be present in the smaller bases (some bound of primes, say the first dozen), because the bulk of exponents for the factorization of any magnitude of a number, overwhelming lean heavily in the lower prime bases.
It was if the entire vulnerability was hiding in plain sight for four+ years, and we'd been approaching factorization all wrong from the beginning, by trying to factor a number, and all its digits at all its magnitudes, all at once, when like addition or multiplication, factorization could be done piecemeal if we knew the patterns to look for.7 -
A common walkthrough with Laravel deployment:
1.) Error 403
2.) Internal server error 🤔
3.) bad require paths in index.php....
4.) Whooops something went wrong.. What?.... Look at log file with 2MB size
5.) View not found1 -
Commit messages:
1- Defect 6380: fix update of user without end date
2- Defect 6380: fix update of user without end date 2
3- Defect 6380: forgot unit test
4- Defect 6380: fix test
5- Defect 6380: dammit!
6- Defect 6380: raaaaaah!!!!
7- Defect 6380: kill me now -
Top 5 richest people.
1.People that own Powerbeats pro
2.People that own AirPods
3.Jeff Bozo
4.Bill Gates
5.Warren Buffet10 -
1. Learn MEAN
2. Learn LAM*
3. Learn to play guitar
4. Learn to play bass better
5. Finish my novel
6. Get paid more.1 -
Work log..
Day 1
1) Starts a new project.
2) Can't connect windows machine to the new router.
3) Wastes one day connecting.
Day 2
1) Switched to Linux (dual boot).
2) Parrot OS sound issue, don't know why.
3) Fixed the issue, upgraded the system. No brain fucked.
4) Sets up Dev Environment, Starts the project.
5) All this in 4 hrs.
#DumbWndows
Now, I'm staying here. #LoveLinux2 -
When you need to do something in Wordpress:
1. check the codex
2. check the developer handbook
3. check google, stackoverflow, etc
4. give up
5. do it yourself
6. find it on either of the aforementioned websites2 -
Step 1: stackoverflow.com
Step 2: CTRL + C
Step 3: ALT + TAB
Step 4: CTRL + C
Step 5: FFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUU3 -
1. Come home from matrix job at 5pm
2. Eat 45 mins
3. Take a break 15 mins for brain to breathe
4. Now its 6pm
5. Blink
6. Now its 10pm and time for bed to continue slaving my life to matrix job
6 -
Probably pure coincidence but if you look at the deconstruction of the dedekinds like so:
>>> decon(6)
offset: 1, exp: [[Decimal('2'), Decimal('1')], [Decimal('3'), Decimal('1')]]
>>> decon(20)
offset: 2, exp: [[Decimal('2'), Decimal('2')], [Decimal('5'), Decimal('1')]]
offset: 1, exp: []
>>> decon(168)
offset: 3, exp: [[Decimal('2'), Decimal('2')], [Decimal('5'), Decimal('2')]]
offset: 2, exp: [[Decimal('2'), Decimal('2')], [Decimal('3'), Decimal('1')], [Decimal('5'), Decimal('1')]]
offset: 1, exp: [[Decimal('2'), Decimal('3')]]
>>> decon(7581)
offset: 4, exp: [[Decimal('2'), Decimal('3')], [Decimal('5'), Decimal('3')], [Decimal('7'), Decimal('1')]]
offset: 3, exp: [[Decimal('2'), Decimal('2')], [Decimal('5'), Decimal('3')]]
offset: 2, exp: [[Decimal('2'), Decimal('4')], [Decimal('5'), Decimal('1')]]
offset: 1, exp: []
>>> decon(7828354)
offset: 7, exp: [[Decimal('2'), Decimal('6')], [Decimal('5'), Decimal('6')], [Decimal('7'), Decimal('1')]]
offset: 6, exp: [[Decimal('2'), Decimal('8')], [Decimal('5'), Decimal('5')]]
offset: 5, exp: [[Decimal('2'), Decimal('5')], [Decimal('5'), Decimal('4')]]
offset: 4, exp: [[Decimal('2'), Decimal('6')], [Decimal('5'), Decimal('3')]]
offset: 3, exp: [[Decimal('2'), Decimal('2')], [Decimal('3'), Decimal('1')], [Decimal('5'), Decimal('2')]]
offset: 2, exp: [[Decimal('2'), Decimal('1')], [Decimal('5'), Decimal('2')]]
offset: 1, exp: [[Decimal('2'), Decimal('2')]]
>>> decon(d('2414682040998'))
offset: 13, exp: [[Decimal('2'), Decimal('13')], [Decimal('5'), Decimal('12')]]
offset: 12, exp: [[Decimal('2'), Decimal('13')], [Decimal('5'), Decimal('11')]]
offset: 11, exp: [[Decimal('2'), Decimal('10')], [Decimal('5'), Decimal('10')]]
offset: 10, exp: [[Decimal('2'), Decimal('11')], [Decimal('5'), Decimal('9')]]
offset: 9, exp: [[Decimal('2'), Decimal('9')], [Decimal('3'), Decimal('1')], [Decimal('5'), Decimal('8')]]
offset: 8, exp: [[Decimal('2'), Decimal('10')], [Decimal('5'), Decimal('7')]]
offset: 7, exp: [[Decimal('2'), Decimal('7')], [Decimal('5'), Decimal('6')]]
offset: 6, exp: []
offset: 5, exp: [[Decimal('2'), Decimal('6')], [Decimal('5'), Decimal('4')]]
offset: 4, exp: []
offset: 3, exp: [[Decimal('2'), Decimal('2')], [Decimal('3'), Decimal('2')], [Decimal('5'), Decimal('2')]]
offset: 2, exp: [[Decimal('2'), Decimal('1')], [Decimal('3'), Decimal('2')], [Decimal('5'), Decimal('1')]]
offset: 1, exp: [[Decimal('2'), Decimal('3')]]
the powers in the 2's column go:
1, 2, 2, 2, 3, 3, 2, 4, 6
which are predicted by:
https://oeis.org/search/...
Again, probably only a coincidence, but kinda beautiful.2 -
Top 5 worst illnesses, from “really really bad” to “hell on earth”:
5. Bubonic plague
4. Leukaemia
3. Multiple sclerosis
2. Dementia
1. Schizophrenia -
I've gotta create a bidirectional communication protocol to link 2-3 RPis over GPIO. I have between 4-5 pins for TX and 45 for RX, so each directional bus is that wide.
Even better, I have to assume 4 bit bus length unless told otherwise, since 4 to 6 pins on the GPIO are usually used for serial/UART, COM and/or 1-pin communications (for use to get a console, not to throw data down.)
The best part?
Needs to be a Python library.
i wanna die4 -
Count the number of keyboards in your room (including musical keyboards).
1,.. 2,.. 3,.. 4,.. 5,.. 6,.. Damn, that is a lot.11 -
Our most recent development process:
1. Implement feature
2. Create task
3. Release feature
4. Review feature
4.1 Possibly reimplement
5. Add tests1 -
btw the Boas said I have their full support...
soo what should I ask 4 :
1. yacht
2. heli
3. 51% of the company
4. surrender all your base
5. peace on Venus16 -
Happy halloween!
My halloween schedule
1. Start 3 new game projects
2. Study f***ing C for the test in coming Saturday and Sunday
3. Study math for the test in coming Sunday
4. Play werewolf in codrTalk (hopefully)
5. Start my f***ing logo after a disasterous fail.2 -
Is AMD gonna beat Intel to 5nm tho?
https://notebookcheck.net/AMD-essen...
(god i can't wait for picometer shit, that'd be a good milestone to see)13 -
Trying to build a 4-5 years old project (starting with Dockerfile builds). Fixing build errors feels like fighting windmills...
wtf. It was working perfectly fine 3 yeas ago!!
All the more motivation to start using nix for project builds.... Docker simply isn't reproducible enough...8 -
I needed to rewrite pagination from:
A) 1 ... [3] 4 5 6 ... 13
B) 1 ... [4] 5 6 7 ... 13
To:
A) 1 2 [3] 4 5 ... 13
B) 1 ... 3 [4] 5 6 ... 13
And the maths got me a headache3 -
did on my last project:
1 .Using QA env as dev env
2. Deploy in production not completely tested stuff (90% tested)
3. Run with errors in prod
4. Manual fix in prod
5. Git versioning1 -
1) Have a great idea
2) Ask a friend who knows how to code to do all the work
3) Get rejected
4) Repeat until you find a sucker
5) Profit 💰 💰 -
[EXPLODING BRAIN]
[1]
cout << a << b << endl;
[3]
cout << a + b << endl;
[3]
c = a + b;
cout << c << endl;
[4]
d = b + "";
c = a + "";
cout << c << d << endl;
[5]
d = b + "";
c = a + "";
e = c + d;
cout << e << endl;
[6]
a = "a";
b = "b";
c = pl;
d = pl;
c = a;
d = b;
e = c + d;
cout << a << b << endl;5 -
1. Closed a solution.
2. Opened same solution, other branch.
3. "Get Latest" on the whole solution.
4. Build solution => Build errors (probably because some project needed be built before another).
5. Right-clicked a project => Build.
6. Nothing happened and VS2017 became completely unresponsive. Has been like that for like 10+ minutes now.
Nice? Nej, bajs.3 -
True story:
While doing a CR stumbeled upon the following line, with no documentation attached:
CONST = "{0}{1}{3}//{4}{5}{6}//{7}.{8}" -
This month is a nightmare,
1. Laptop battery dead
2. Laptop hinge broke
3. NIC Card dead(no idea but maybe because of the hinge )
4. Power Jack got fucked
5. Laptop Fan kinda dead(sometimes work sometimes don't maybe due to power issue)
6. Mobile's charger wire fucked
-_-3 -
Tutorial for naming a city:
1. Open your text editor
2. Hit your keyboard with your head
3. Roll around with your head on your keyboard
4. ???
5. Congratulations, you just named a city
https://youtu.be/fHxO0UdpoxM2 -
1. A work environment that has a high level of trust.
2. I feel like I have to mention project aristotle of Google...
3. Psychological safety (( from project aristotle ))
4. Result oriented work environment
5. Just love tbh... a working environment that is a soft place to land -
I hate arguments for the following reasons:
1) I suck at them
2) they can get out of hand
3) their context may be pointless
4) they cause unnecessary pain
5) they end unresolved (sometimes) -
Gotta love JavaScript obfuscation!
((_)=>{_=["cnVjdG9y","Y29uc3Q=",(_)=>{return atob(_)},2,0,1],_=_[_[3]](_[_[5]])+_[_[3]](_[_[4]]),_=((+[])[_][_]),_("console.log('Xaotic <3')")()})([])
// We need a [code] tag guys
3 -
binary counting w/ emoji
0 ✊
1 👍
2 ☝️
3 👆
4 🖕
5 🖕+👍
6 ✌️
7 ✌️+👍
8 ... 17
18 🤘
19 🤘+👍
20 ... 27
28 👌
29 ✋-☝️
30 ✋-👍
31 ✋2 -
What hurts you the most?
1. Breakup
2. IDE with White Background
3. HTTPS://DUCKDUCKGO.COM (Caps Url)
4. Download failed at 99%
5. NULL Pointer Exception
🤔🤔🤔29 -
Hey,
I'm working on creating API for learnpress a plugin of wordpress.
I'm stuck at this type of data in database.
Can you tell me how to extract data from this type of string in php?
a:3:{s:4:"text";s:6:"Mobile";s:5:"value";s:27:"155938536720245cf2551731707";s:7:"is_true";s:3:"yes";}3 -
1) Browse high level documentation on the matter.
2) Find a semi-guided source of in-depth material (usually a book).
3) Start working with the technology.
4) Supplement with YouTube tutorials if necessary.
5) Fail initially.
6) Eventually succeed after much persistence.3 -
1. getSomeData(params, ((err, data) => {
2. if(!err && data) {
3. try {
4. data = JSON.parse(data);
5. } catch(e) {
6. return null;
7. }
8. return data.someParam;
9. }
10.}
Nothing like bad practice in above code but I always feel that the line 4 should be replaced by below.
4. var result = JSON.parse(data);
and then use result variable to get data one is looking for, like below
8. return result ? result.someParam : null;
Your thoughts?3 -
A system of universally accessible storage. Here is what I mean:
1. The fastest protocol available would be used (LAN:smb, else:sftp)
2. File transfers would be direct (no download from A, upload to B)
3. Transfers could be resumed
4. Transparent to normal programs
5. Integrated with GUI file manager
But I'm extremely bad at C, so... -
I feel a bit confused rigt now.
Did i misunderstand something with this random little excercise?
" Write a Java program to find the index of a value in a sorted array. If the value does not find return the index where it would be if it were inserted in order. Example:
[1, 2, 4, 5, 6] 5(target) -> 3(index)
[1, 2, 4, 5, 6] 0(target) -> 0(index)
[1, 2, 4, 5, 6] 7(target) -> 5(index) "
Here is what i did lol:
https://gist.github.com/laim2003/...
And here is the official solution:
https://gist.github.com/laim2003/...
Their solution seems a bit unnecessary complicated lol or am i wrong1 -
1. Enroll in course/project/tutorial
2. Watch, apply, ask questions, find answers and repeat until nothing left to learn
3. Reformat the machine I was learning from
4. Forgot what was learnt and repeat from step 1 until it becomes 2nd nature
5. ???
6. PROFIT (by doing jobs)!!! -
1) Give my logical reasoning abilities to my clients and users.
2) Whenever there is a change in project requirements, I should get 24 karat 100 Gram gold coins.
3) Give me 2 more wishes.
4) My code should work as expected on first attempt.
5) Give me ability to learn new technology in just 1 day.3 -
1. Windows domains as user@domain
2. Starting tape backups at 13:37, realizing they need about 5 hours and all company servers run on ~5% speed for others
3. Repeatedly opening and closing devRant multiple times a minute realizing it has been open currently
4. accidentally executing "apt-get update && apt-get update"
5. Trying every earlier password if the current windows domain password timeouted until I come to an not yet used one. -
1) communication is the key
2) if you don't understand something, ask
3) people always lie
4) you can always improove
5) if you don't stand up for yourself, noone will
Not so much that coding made me realise this, it's just something that got confirmed once I started working.. -
When I reach my short term milestone, I might start dedicating my full-time to one of the following projects:
1. deno
2. brain.js
3. The forking of TypeORM
4. The teardown of Isaac Schlueter
5. Create a full on movement to rescue open source12 -
The 5 step process to my average day:
1. Client doesn't want to pay for an admin dashboard that can be tested
2. Client wants to us to make ad hoc changes to the data in the production database
3. Client wants things done quickly without testing
4. Client complains when things go wrong
5. Me: (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻2 -
1) learn react native
2) finish my masters
3) use Linux full time
4) start my post-grade degree
5) get a 3d printer -
All of these mentioned below are tools used by web developers. Do pin me if I missed something or incorrectly stated it.
0. laptop
1. Javascript
2.HTML
3.CSS
4.MongoDB
5. Typescript
6. Caffeine
7. wtf!!s12 -
to me, "var a" is unorthodox. i'd rather use switch(expectedOutput){case 1:a=1;break;case 2:a=2;break;case 3:a=3;break;case 4:a=4;break;case 5:a=5;break;case 6:a=6;break;case 7:a=7;break;case 8:a=8;break;case 9:a=9;break;case 10:a=10;break;case 11:a=11;break;case 12:a=12;break;case 13:a=13;break;case 14:a=14;break;case 15:a=15;break;case 16:a=16;break;case 17:a=17;break;case 18:a=18;break;case 19:a=19;break;case 20:a=20}1
-
1. write down requirements. what exactly do i want?
2. paint possible solution. how could the finished product look like? while doing this i think through each step of the application and often adjust step 1 until i think 'this is it'
3. design model. how could the database look like. what structure do i need?
4. define milestones. What to do first?
5. Start and keep 1-4 up to date -
Any wordpress developer?
I have some question.
1. How many years you are working?
2. Are you freelancer or what?
3. How much earned from your job?
4. In which country?
5. Tell about job future8 -
Let me know your favorite apps in mac
My favorites
1.Textsniper
2.Toothfairy
3.alfred
4.multitouch
5.hookshot
6.dropover9 -
Let me show you something:
let a=[
1-3,
5-35,
5*7,
77/4
,4%5,
7==7,
6_2,
3&&3,
4&&2,
"f"&&"c"
]
document.write(a)
actually, it works...12 -
1. New Job/ New project
2. Learns new language/framework
3. Works for a month or so
4. Priorities change
5. endlessly loop from 1 to 4
What do you mean one-page-resume?
1 -
Step 1: download and install Arch Linux
Step 2: attempt to set it up correctly
Step 3: ?!?!
Step 4: fail miserably
Step 5: force more competent friends to help / do it for you
Step 6: pretend like you have any idea what is going on
Step 7: ????!!!!
Step 8: profit!(?)2 -
I want to ask wordpress blog related question . 3 to 4 days ago I deleted my wordpress blog and removed my deleted wordpress blog's 5 pages with the help of Google's remove outdated content .
I want to ask In how many days google will delete those removed pages permanently?7 -
Hello guys. Today I present you my top 5 list of things to do:
1. Write code 💻
2. Debug code 🐞
3. Review code 🔍
4. Cope 😔
5. Seethe 😠
Honorable mention:
6. Read memes during the online meeting 🤓 -
Log() method blocking caller to
1) Enter a critical section
2) Open the log file
3) Move to the end of the file
4) Write the log
5) Close the log file
6) Exit the critical section
And this was already in production.1 -
My goals this year:
1. Getting certified for Spring core
2. Getting certified for Java OCP 8
3. Write my first blog about “something interesting”
4. Update my personal website
5. Getting a drivers license
So if someone has some ideas/tips that would be great.1 -
1. Finish personal pen-tester tool project and open-source it
2. Get eCPPT and OSCP certificateed
3. Finish bachelor degree in IT management
4. Get a proper full time dev job
5. Learn to utilize docker properly
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