Difference between C# and Javascript
Me: Hold my cup of tea.
C#: That's not a cup of tea.
Me: Hold my cup of tea, with two teaspoons of sugar in it.
C#: That's not a cup of tea with two tea spoons of sugar in it.
Me: Hold my cup of tea, with two teaspoons of sugar and milk in it.
C#: That is not a cup of tea, with two teaspoons of sugar and milk it.
...
Me: Hold my cup of tea.
Javascript: I'll hold your cup of coffee.

Our dev team got a new manager. On our first face 2 face meeting:

Manager: So, what technology are we using for web apps?
Me: TypeScript.
Manager: What is TypeScript?
Me: It's a superset of JavaScript.
Manager: Oh I know JavaScript, it's the latest version of Java, right?
Me thinking: He is joking. He tries to be the fun guy. Everyone knows the Java-JavaScript, ham-hamster joke.
Me later, also thinking: No he is not joking. Oh God, this is the end. We are all f*cked!

We need more JS devs for our frontend.
After half a year of PM complaining that he doesn’t find devs, he finally came back to us:
„Sorry guys, I found two devs, but they are not Java developers, they only do JavaScript“
Me:
Team:
*both speechless*
TeamLead: „... wait, you searched for Java devs half a year?“

Person: HTML is a programming language
Me: No it's not
Person: Yes it is it can compute things
Me: No it can't, and what do you mean?
Person: Have you ever heard of a script tag
Me: That's not fucking HTML that's JavaScript.

So just saw this course online the logo and title are two different languages not the best first impression

“Any application that can be written in JavaScript, will eventually be written in JavaScript.” — Jeff Atwood

Fast-forward 20 years, a plane crashes, they find and open the black box and in the flight logs they can see the cause clearly: ”undefined is not a function”.

Client: Why did you use Vanilla JavaScript? Even my child doesn't eat vanilla.

Me: Uhh..., you realise we are not talking about ice-cream right?
Right?
RIGHT?

Don't know if it was already posted. Best way to add 2 numbers so far

If you feel useless, remember, Word has a dark theme

Was about to try a JavaScript course on Stepik, but what did my eyes have to see ...

Overheard this phone conversation:

"So I have to use Internet explorer since it is the only one that supports JavaScript.

I had to upgrade Java to use it, and now it has to be internet explorer, not even Chrome or Firefox supports JavaScript."

I honestly wanted to punch her in the face.

The only correct way to write JavaScript is whatever you were not doing last week.

We have an API which returns 600 MB of JSON.

Because client "Wants to see everything first and then apply filters, just like Excel".

FML
Edit and ofc thier laptops with core i3 and 4GB of ram can't even process that.

"JavaScript was built in a weekend"

Yeah it was ... But not the version we have today ... Twats saying well I'm sure you can build this app in a few hours 🙄

I see my boss interested in learning new languages as if it is gonna be some sort of holy grail but his logic remains the same.

I'm in a step of my life that I finally understand that this language fight is a total waste of time:

PhP is fucking delicious to deploy

Java is fucking delicious to work with spring boot

Python has a fucking delicious syntax and I wanna marry it

Go is fucking delicious to outperform others

Anyway, my point is that when you get the hang of it you should learn concepts and improve your logic instead of hoping language x is gonna save you, its not.

My company wants to start using Node.JS.

JavaScript.
They wanna use JavaScript.
For everything.

JAVASCRIPT.
FOR EVERYTHING.

Scene;

**Asshat enters break room after meeting**

**Asshat turns to Asshole**

Asshat: “Oh here in a year or two we’ll just be rewriting all of this is Node.JS.”

Asshole: “JavaScript. You’ll be rewriting it in JavaScript. And fucking WHY?”

Asshat: “It’s better”

Asshole: “It’s not really a general use language. Why wouldn’t you guys choose Python if you wanted to write EVERYTHING in a goddamn scripting language?”

Asshat: “Google uses Node.JS”

Asshole: “For back-end web development type stuff. I doubt their accounting systems are written in fucking JavaScript...”

Asshat: “Python is oooooold.”

Asshole (to himself): No you’re old, you stupid, ancient fuck.

**Asshole rolls his eyes and walks away**

**Asshat continues his ignorant chuckling**

End Scene;

Clearly years of fixed format RPG programming has killed too many of Asshat’s brain cells.

Had a client who was not satisfied with dropdowns, nor checkboxes. He wanted dropdown checkboxes.

Well, horrible shit but nothing javascript can't do.

When beginners came to know that Java and JavaScript are not same

Newbie Coder : "... I mean Java and JavaScript are pretty much the same"

Me : *triggered*

My mother.

She explained to me what “algorithm“ is. I was 14. Instant love for the domain. In 2 days, I knew exactly what I want to do with my life

In an interview and the interviewee says he can code JQuery but not Javascript...

F1: why you always use Go and Django for web applications.
F2: umm, because it's not JavaScript ?

DO NOT USE JAVASCRIPT FOR PUBLIC WEBSITES IF YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO USE IT!!!

Almost every fucking day, I click a fucking button and NOTHING HAPPENS. I open the console and find tens of JavaScript errors, that *I* have to debug and fix in order to proceed.

FUR FUCK SAKE, JavaScript is not strictly needed, those fucking React and Vue are also not needed. Just now I wanted to download a form: IT'S A FUCKING PDF FILE, why the fuck are you putting your broken JavaScript function to let me download it!? PUT A FUCKING DOWNLOAD LINK YOU FUCKING MORON!

Nobody is forcing anybody to use JavaScript or those fucking fancy frameworks, SO WHY THE FUCK PEOPLE OVERCOMPLICATE THINGS THAT USED TO WORK SO WELL!

so i guess ill use my code.org teacher for this:

"credit card information is encrypted with the public keys"

"lists and arrays are the same thing"

"javascript is a powerful, fast, programming language" (bhahahaha)

"javascript is [only] used in web browsers"

"java and javascript are *extremely similar* but not the same"

No I definitely would not fancy having JavaScript written on me.

Senior Dev: "-bleep- I hate Javascript. It is such a pain to have to debug in Chrome"
Mgr: "Why are you 'having to' debug in Chrome?"
-in an almost 'you didn't know?' condensing tone -
Senior Dev: "Because you can't debug Javascript in Visual Studio."
Me: "Umm...pretty sure you can."
Senior Dev: "No, its impossible. I have to make a simple change in Visual Studio, save it, deploy all the files to the server, restart IIS, open up Chrome and use it's developer tools to find bugs. -bleep- Javascript sucks sooo bad."
-I do a quick search on stackoverflow-
Me: "No, I'm looking right at it on stackoverflow. You can debug Javascript in visual studio just like anything else."
- Mgr looks over and smiles, not trying to laugh -
Senior Dev: "Hey, did you watch that scene in Stranger Things...man thats a good show ..."
- other devs jump in to comment about the show, completely dismissing the VS/Javascript conversation -

Not sure WTF just happened.

Master vanilla JavaScript.

Once you do, you'll be able to quickly learn how to use all the frameworks.

And no, jQuery is not vanilla JavaScript.

while we were in the car...

mom: so what are u doing in your new job? you code in java?
me: no, i code in javascript, html, css and php..
mom: so thats java. how nice.
me: no, its javaSCRIPT.
mom: theyre still the same.
me: java and javascript are not the same
mom: but most people use java so why dont u just do it in java?
me: thats what ive been asking myself too in the past few weeks, why did i even accept this job

Yesterday,
I was a bit drunk.
But I wanted to improve security of the company. So, I went in Azure and activated “Security defaults” which forces MFA for all users in the company. (Because RH always forget to enable MFA for new employees, and I actually care about security)
Then I went in office 365 management and instead of resetting MFA for all users (Forcing everyone to redo MFA setup), I (by mistake) clicked on reset all passwords.
I tested my own account it was fine and went to sleep.
Got a call from CEO at 7am, all 30 employees cannot login in, cannot work.
What a shit show I made…
I have a call with CEO in about 2 hours, I don’t even know how to justify myself…
So children: don’t activate company wide options while drunk. Ever.

OH MY GOSH SHUT THE CRAP UP. I AM NOT INTERESTED. I DON'T EVEN CODE JAVA.

I'm a JavaScript developer. And I don't respond to this spam. Ugh!!!!!

Java in 2000: Just to be clear, JavaScript is not my kid

Java in 2020: Just to be clear, JavaScript is not my dad

What did we buy ?
Ryzen 9 and Radeon 6800 XT
What are we playing ?
Open TDD and factorio.

Yep, Can confirm, no lags.

I always get a little angry when I'm looking for the solution to a problem I have with JavaScript and the answerer has the solution in JQuery. Like, not everyone uses that people!

"To use the clock you need Adobe Flash"

Really 1&1? You really need flash to show a fucking clock? Its not that hard to do this in javascript, or? Even if it is an analog clock :D There is even a tutorial of the "quality content page" w3schools about implementing this in javascript ... just whyyyyyyy? it 2018, not 2004.

(1&1 is an german ISP. This message occured in their webmailer using it without flash.)

WTF!! I want a JavaScript solution.. not jQuery!! When JavaScript mentioned in the question, why the hell people answer with jQuery solution and also same solution multiple times.

Ok. Who's car is that ? And what is it doing 650km from New York ?

Dear Recruiters: Java IS NOT JavaScript!!!
>:-(

When I was really young:

"No, JavaScript is not java."

Recruiters, please understand that only because Java and Javascript share same Letters its not the same language ! Just like Ham and Hamster are not the same thing

The amount of much political correctness in the dev community just pisses me off sometimes.

I've watched "Use the right tool / language for the job" has become *THE* excuse for shitty tools and languages. 

Case in point -- JavaScript. If you want to make a website that interacts with the end user, the right tool is JavaScript. But that's because IT'S THE ONLY TOOL. Does that make it a *good* tool?

HELL NO.

/midranttimeout

Brendan Eich, I forgive you. You had 10 days and a corporation on your case.

That's not saying JavaScript doesn't have some good things in it. It does. But "Javascript the good parts" is a fucking thin book.

Sure, some amazing things have been written in JavaScript. Great communities have coalesced around this cancer.

BUT THATS IN SPITE OF JAVASCRIPT, NOT BECAUSE OF IT. AS A LANGAUGE IT'S STILL A STEAMING PILE OF DOGSHIT.

A master can draw great art with a shitty piece of charcoal. That doesn't make charcoal THE BEST DRAWING TOOL EVARRR. It's just a testament to the master's craft.

If you started your programming journey with JavaScript, do expand your horizons.

Break free from Stockholm's syndrome.

Discard your cognitive dissonance.

See JavaScript for what it is -- a shitty language everyone was forced to use. 

PS: Don't even get me started on Java ...

That glorious moment when you remove a function from your Javascript.

is_internet_explorer()

It's one job was to detect and prompt a user about not using IE on this shit for a stain website - ironically built for IE 😂

You sir, will not be missed 🥳

Fuck it, I am not going to use any semicolon in my next javascript project.

Javascript! What a fucking horrible language it is.
I just wonder why this fucking language became this popular nowadays just performance is not a good reason to use this fucking language everywhere.

Tried javascript coming from Java and C++, i know not a lot of people agree with me but holy fucking shit i hate non-typed variables they introduce so much ambiguity it drives me insane!!!

Let's start 2023 !

WHO THE FUCK imagined that having language like YAML is a good idea ??

Fuck you and your spaces. No editor produce any decent errors messages except "Your spaces are wrong".

When you edit an Azure debops pipeline, it's just 5 min ti do thing, 35 minuites to figure ou where to add/remove spaces.

NO, I WILL NOT read 25 pages of documentation to add a single step into pipeline.

Fuck YAML !

"Why am I a horrible person for following standard linting and thus not using semicolon in my JavaScript code?"

Next rant

"Sometimes I think people who don't use semicola in JavaScript should be shot on the spot."

Lol, love you devrant

My computing teacher says that html is his favourite programming language to teach.

He calls JavaScript Java

Needless to say he's not very good at teaching us html and js.

I’m fucking done….
I don’t even know what to tell.
I’m a CTO in a startu. We have pretty good traction, my salary is about average senior dev salary (plus 10%).
I’m good financially.
But I have no more pleasure in work. Like at all.
“This API call performance is bad”
Yeah I know, maybe you shpuldn’t try to call it for 1000 objects at the time ?
“We need to reduce Azure cost”
Yeah I know, but are you ready to live with performances downgrade it will generate ?
“I don’t understand on what thing you worked past week, where is a devops card ?
Fuck you, I’m in extenuating fire mode, I don’t have time for a fucking devops card
“We should migrate whole stack to modern technology, like JavaScript”
Thank you for your imput, Blazor WAS created to avoid JabaScript
“The client has only 1.000.000 records and API doesn’t return them all”
Use fucking paging moron. And BTW, I’m adding “number of authorized requests” shortly.
I can go on and on and on for hours. But the idea is : I completely lost the will or motivation to do anything. I’m considering just to quit and go back to be Junior dev for a random company.

You hired me to be a JavaScript developer. Just because you have stock inMicrosoft is not a good reason to try stuffing Typescript down my throat. Maybe you should have hired a Typescript developer!

This rant is aimed towards those who hate on JavaScript developers and the JS language:

Dear Asshole,

I am a JavaScript developer by choice.
I think JavaScript is great.
I agree that JavaScript have some bad sides to it, but I believe that the community is driving good change to the ecosystem.
I appreciate other models of other languages.
I do not include 3rd party NPM modules without checking their source and credibility.
I will not use a framework (i.e. react, Vue, Anguler) if it's not needed.

And finally:
I can do any software engineering tasks a software engineer is supposed to do.

Kind regards,
Nedo-the-angry.

This week I had a technical interview for a Python developer position.
They asked me Javascript questions.
Not a single Python question.
Fml

Am I the only one ?

15+ years in c# / .net dev and I still google "c# string compare ignore case" each time. Its just fucking faster than to remember exact syntax of the "StringComparison.OrdinalIgnoreCase"

I need to put that cat ON the table. Because in reality this cat is actuallt on the table !

Stupid javascript.
Stupid hoisting-oblivious "frontend devs."
Stupid browser-specific javascript behavior.
Stupid thrown-together javascript minifier that literally only strips out whitespace and comments.
Stupid poorly-written javascript spamming my api.

Time to rewrite it. Grumble grumble. Soo not how I wanted to spend my morning-turn-afternoon.

Leading to the last but not least:
Stupid me forgetting javascript's quirks.

Oh JavaScript... can you seriously not even increment the exponent of a float without barfing?

*siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh*

All B2B solutions boil down to "How I import your Excel"

I like how I transitioned from learning Java to Javascript because I thought they were related in sone way.

When my teacher first introduced Javascript, he told us this is NOT your grandfather's javascript. Next thing he told us was 'What is this?' My seatmate and I looked at each other perplexed. My teacher once again said 'What IS this?'. It turns out we needed to first learn about the context of 'this' -_-

That moment when you discover Java was a lie o_o

Why some recruiters can t understand this: javaScript is NOT java!!!

If your JavaScript and css is not loading on your server, make sure your folder and files have the right permissions.

Two days of running around like a headless chicken because I'm retarded... 😫

Another JavaScript API 💎: months are zero-based, but days and years are not. 😒

Javascript.

It was created with a mind of writing simple scripts in browser not for some to attempt to write whole fucking applications (which seems to be a plague these days). Typed languages!

Client : We have performance issues on <this> page.

US : Testing with their data on : Xeon : All good, Core i7 : all good, Core i5 : all good, A smartphone : all good, core i5 UM version from 5 years ago (You know, 1.8Ghz, 2 cores, not 4) : all good.

US : Could you share your screen and show us ?

Client : Sure ! Shares his screen. Chrome is already opened. Refreshes the page, after 15 seconds, chrome : Would you like to stop script on this page ?”

US with mic on mute : “WTF?! It cannot happen here. It’s only a list of about 500 rows!”.

US : “Hello, could you open a tasks manager?”

Client : “ Sure, but I need to do it through here”

Some random VID interface popping up. Opens tasks manager with a beautiful “48 vCPUs detected”.

I have no idea how their virtualization is settled, but it seems to be messed up. Tomorrow going to be fun. I have a call at 9am to explain them their problem. Their IT will hate me forever.

If anyone has tips on Chrome through virtualization, please tell me.

EDIT : Yes 48. Not 4-8. It's not an error

I'm not really keen in relying too much on JavaScript to render a properly functioning web page. HTML and CSS is now than good enough for it nowadays.

But if due to technical limitations, i have to use JavaScript, I make sure to not use jquery.

I don't like jquery.

I'm turning 28 this year and I still feel I got a really really long way ahead in understanding Javascript and all the new web app building technologies happening.

Feeling a little frustrated for not learning faster and getting kind a stuck, I'm not getting any younger.

JavaScript is fun when your not fucking bad at programming you stupid jquery-loving, abstractionless, monoparadigm, encapsulationphobia fucks

Not easy being JavaScript developer #javascriptfatigue

I always laugh when I see "google" and "private" in the same phrase

And the bartender says, "Success, but your not ready"

So a JavaScript function walks into a bar

No other language can do something as fucky as javascript.

"7 high severity vulnerabilities"
$> npm audit fix --force
"13 vulnerabilities (11 high, 2 critical)"

How is this fixed?!

It will be a great day when JS finally prolapses under the weight of its own hubris.

New Icon for Microsoft Edge Canary.

I'll just leave it here.

I know:
-Python
-Web Development
-JavaScript
-Node.JS
-Electron
-Linux

-- In all of this, I know lots but not nearly close to everything

Am I employable?
I don't feel like I know enough.

I just had to explain to someone why Java isn't a suitable shorthand to JavaScript. Then he told me not to lecture him, because he's a CS graduate. Seriously.

Rule number 1 in performances debug :

It's always I/O.

If it's not IO, then the code should be REALLY bad.

Sorry mate 😉 can't get away with saying you use Dreamweaver and not expect some evil banter 😈 I mean it's nearly as bad as saying java is javascript

Found an answer on Quora discouraging to learn Javascript because "it's not as important as php". It was a question about frontend development. Soooo 2000

When you realise the actual language name is ECMAScript, not Javascript.

*My whole life is a lie*

One of our clients is called Skynet. Should I be worried?

My bootcamp instructor recommended the book, “ Eloquent JavaScript,” This is one of the 1st things I read. I’m not encouraged.

Just saw an ad on LinkedIn.

First line: looking for JavaScript developers of all levels

A bit further down...

Requirements: 4+ years of JavaScript experience plus whole front-end stuff

The fuck is wrong with people?

At least the salary is not crap.

ALWAYS read warnings guys.
Story time !
A client of ours has a synchronization app (we wrote it) between his inhouse DB and our app. (No, no APIs on their end. It’s a schelduled task).
Because we didn’t want to ask them for logs every single time, the app writes logs to disk (normal) and in Applications Insights in Azure.
When needed, I can go in portal, get all logs for last execution in a nice CSV file.
Well, recently we added more logs (Some problems were impossible to track).
So client calls us : “problem with XXX”
Me : Goes to Azure, does the same manipulation as always. Dismiss a smaaaaaalish warning without reading. Study logs. Conclusion: “The XXX is not even in the logs, check your DB”.
Little I knew, the warning was telling me “Results are truncated at 10.000 lines”.
So client was right, I was wrong and I needed to develop a small app to get logs with more than 10.000 lines. (It’s per execution. Every 3 hours)

Problems with redis... timeout everywhere...

30k READs per minute.

Me : Ok, How much ram are we actually using in redis ?

Metrics : Average : 30 MB

Me ; 30 MB, sure ? not 30 GB ?

Metrics : Nop, 30 MB

Me : fuck you redis then, hey memory cache, are you there ?

Memory cache : Yep, but only for one instance.

Me ok. So from now on you Memory cache is used, and you redis, you just publish messages when key should be delete. Works for you two ?

Memeory cache and redis : Yep, but nothing out of box exists

Me : Fine... I'll code it my selkf witj blackjack and hookers.

Redis : Why do I exist ?

Did a nasty thing in prod...

Very nasty.

So nasty even default graph tells me something about going yolo in prod.

Maybe it's weed. But feels like that graph tells me not to trry this shit ever again.

Dear JavaScript,

"TypeError: Object(...)(...) is undefined" is not a helpful error message.

Sincerely,

Me

After more than 24 years in dev, I still don't use RegEx and I have no idea how to write one without using an online builder.

I also refuse any Pull requests contaning regEx..

*Me starving all the week to lose weight:
Lost 3.5~4 Kg

*Me eating as always during my pause day
Won: 2 Kg

Fuck, this shit does not work, it is like Javascript.

Something that really annoys me is when people abuse the lax semicolon rules in JavaScript. Personally I believe semicolons should be a standard and always used in a language like JavaScript, and while the loose rule on semicolons may be considered convenient when one is forgotten every now and then, it is /not/ meant to be abused and semicolons completely unused. It's particularly annoying when I have to work on a group repo at work and the standard is to not use semicolons. JavaScript to me is much more similar to a C style language than something like Python, so even though the language is built to be loose and easy conventions such as bracket scoping and semicolons should be kept and practiced.

You know that web development realy took the wrong turn, when complex java project compile way faster, than simple javascript one.

Not to say that javascript is interpreted programming language.

We started working with some pretty big (in data volume) client. Around 4.000 projects with about 10 to 15 deliverables by project. Our software helps them plan/manage that.
US : Hey, so on this page we only display first 10, so it is fast and you can adjust using filters.
Client: No, I want to see all 4.000 projects on the same page
US : Well, for one year it will generate : 4000x10(deliverables)x12 editable fields. Your browser will crash. (No time to add virtual scroll)
Client: No, I want to see all 4.000 projects on the same page
US : Ok, here is pagination to help you.
Client: No, I want to see all 4.000 projects on the same page
US: …
Tomorrow is going to be fun.

Once understood javascript, it's not so bad. Particularly if used with Typescript

Fucking “front end” “Seniors” who can’t write a single line of TypeScript. Honestly FUCK YOU ALL. Waste of money on you.

These script kiddies fuck with my error metrics! I want 0 !

I swear I'll find them! Even enabled IP log for every request contain “.php”.

Needless to say, app is not even in PHP and PHP isn’t even present on server

I'm hal laughting, half facepaling.

Use multiple servers they said
It's gonna balance automaticlly your load they said.

Well, they didn';t accoubnt for a MEGA badly writen API whic can block a whole server for a minute.

Or, but it's not the end !!!

So you see ? 1 at 100%, 1 at 0% ? Quick maths : Average 50%.

Autoscaling kicks in at average 40% for 2 minutes.

So it kicks in... Created a 3d server... Which is still booting !!

And some trafic redirected there.

Sooo. Users on a 100% server : Bad bad bad for them
Users on 0% server : No problems
users on a new 3d server : Wait 15 seconds, then it's like 0%.

Fun fun fun. At least I know now which fucking API does that.

FUCK IT

After YEARS of research, I couldn't find a single working load testing tool

So this weekend I created my own. With blackjack and hookers.

It's limited to my app, so not reusable, but wow in 1 weekend I got more data and found more infra problems than in the past 3 years.

people who don't use semi colons in JavaScript. I know it's not required but God does it drive me nuts.

also one line if statements that don't use brackets.

ahhhhh

Java is not Javascript

Ohh..The title says there is a job for javascript developer. Let me check the JD(hoping they are not looking for experience in Meteor, ember, backbone, knockout)
*Opens JD*
WTH!!
People really need to know the difference between the Java and javascript. It's so simple
Java is to javascript as Car is to carpet

Why the fuck should I echo javascript?
Why in fucks name you do not deal with JSON responses?

Plugin devs are either lazy, or simply stupid as fuck!

Ps: Or I'm actually crazy

Me: JavaScript, you are crazy...

JavaScript: honey, you can not live without me... If you survive without me, leave now!!!

(That was three years ago)
and I am still writing #JavaScript applications

Fuck you JavaScript with your blocks within blocks within blocks, your promises and callbacks, your million of libraries that are doublons or not finished. Fuck you with your assigning variable before functions, fuck you!

What was the most stupid thing interview ever do to you?

My side of story. He (interviewer, also a developer) try to convince me that JavaScript and Java are the same thing. Which we all know that is not...

He said "I can't hire someone who don't know basic of computer science , this is basic that JavaScript is from Java"
(Isn't ecmascript or something?)

Saying JavaScript is From Java is a wrong statement. There are differences between having a DICK and Being a DICK.

Everything is fine ! No errors !

When your egghead boss (who is a dev, BTW) fails miserably in understanding that JavaScript fetch does not behave like the default synchronous nature of requests in Python.

After failing to make him learn about the asynchronous nature of JavaScript promises, he ends the discussion by saying "that's why python is better than js"
*facepalm*

god i despise these "javascript is bad" articles. everyone seems to be jumping onto that train ever since the WAT talk.

javascript is a *weakly* typed language with implicit type conversions, that's why `{} + []` gives you `0`.

it is not easy to be the most widely used language, and to maintain compatibility across varying platforms.

please think twice before dismissing hard work.

/rant

Here go again.

Java isn't Javascript...

An IT recruiter company... Well... Not that IT

The people who didn't and don't believe in me...

I had consultants who told me not to choose programming as a career path because I wouldn't have enough time for my therapies...

...and JavaScript debugging

From A month of Python to start a month of JavaScript, my automated code review yells at me for missing "var" and ";"...

Global scope should not be the default and semicolons should be disallowed.

Front-end programmers work on all the snazzy Javascript that you may not be aware you rely on so much when killing time on StumbleUpon.

Ahahaha.

I'm creating a "bring with you" Linux install. So I got a 512 GB USB key. (You know, to even have some persistance).

Linux flashing tool : are you sure ?

Fun :)

Hey dear HR people and Headhunters - learn to write proper Joboffers - when someone is a JavaScript developer and even writes JavaScript for 10 years for a living doesnt mean he can or wants to write strict typed TypeScript out of the box using an library ecosystem and NOT a framework already written with TypeScript (React vs Angular)

Write TypeScript developers in the job offers when you search them: TypeScript !== JavaScript.

I swear to God it's people like this that just get on my nerves
"Oh look at my fucky javascript code"
"Let's tag it as JAVA NOT JAVASCRIPT BECAUSE IM AN UTTER IDIOT"
It appears that proper tagging is not just a devRant issue.

I just encountered a NaN in Java (not JavaScript)

that feeling when you reuse a compoinent you wrote 1 year ago and all bizzare magic still applies and everything just works as expected.

april fools of Windows 11 :

Decided to connect me at 100 mbps instead of 2.5gbps to local network, I'm still looking how and why.

node js hipsters bother me...Not every problem is solved with javascript!!!!

I am always excited when I see new JavaScript framework. Not in positive way, but still excited.

Why? Because I have so much to choose from. And I love half finished projects.

Be proficient in JavaScript.
JK
It's not possible.
Let's start by mastering reactjs.
HAHAHA IM KILLING MYSELF

so i gave in and started learning JavaScript, its not as bad as i thought, really prefer the es6 stuff, makes some things so much simpler.

I have this web development course(on the university), and we are not allowed to use javascript. Only php, html and css. FML

Like GNU - GNU is Not Unix, there should be JNJ (or JINJ) - JavaScript is Not Java 🤔

It's disgusting how a package like compress-commons can have 1.3 million weekly downloads yet no documentation whatsoever and not even any relevant comments in the code. Honestly fuck the javascript ecosystem

Why so much hypocrite Devs here ?
Examples :
I don’t use VScode because it sends telemetry.
Same for Windows 10
Same for half other products.
Like YOU don’t collect telemetry in apps YOU build. And if you don’t, have fun debugging without any data beside “It doesn’t work” comments !

Why am I a horrible person for following standard linting and thus not using semicolon in my JavaScript code? I write Golang and Elixir which they don't have them and thus it is for me more natural to not have them in JS as well.

The "JavaScript-based web app" starter pack.
Build web sites, not web "apps".
JavaScript is an enhancement, not a replacement for HTML.

Me : Hey Azure, I have a problem with "this" blade in Azure portal. It's not working

Azure : Disable your adblock

Me : NO

Waiting next response

Went on Vacations to Dominican republic !

It's a paradise !

Going back to Canada in 2 days... Oh WAIT ! Positive covid PCR test, welp, 14 days to stay in a hotel room :( And ofc need to take vacations days for that

and hotel only offer 7 days, other 7 will need to pay :( But at least I have a nice view

For the umpteeth time, head hunters Java and Javascript are NOT THE SAME THING!!!

that ankward moment when you generate a javascript infinite loop and you are not able to close or reload the window

Another JavaScript joke because, why not?

Still curious though.. Which Frameworks (for JavaScript and PHP) do you guys actually use?

"The job description requires Java, and this candidate knows Javascript, are they interchangeable?"

No they are not, lawyer handling H1B immigration cases. No they are not.

What does a Typescript developer tell Javascript developer ?

"You are not my Type"

I was frustrated with how The programs in my computer (not) worked, so i wanted to change that. I started with Windows batch files and completely drifted off. I told my dad about it and he gave me a book about python. I learned JavaScript somewhere along the way and touch the basic of java. Now I am mainly a python and JavaScript guy.

> Wants to learn something new (pref not JavaScript)
> Can't find anything that's as dope as Spring boot (java framework).
> C# sucks
> Python ain't going anywhere
> PHP is dated
> Go sounds like a good choice but so damn non-useful if you don't do ultra concurrent stuff at google

Ends up getting more used to JavaScript
Suggestions? For summer learning... Freshman year.

In case the kiddos ask if you can hack Facebook or whatever, here's a nice little JS code. Copy paste it into the URL, hit enter and select + edit whatever you like!

javascript: document.body.contentEditable = 'true'; document.designMode = 'on'; void 0

ps: in chrome the 'javascript:' at the beginning gets removed so you'll have to manually add it. not sure about other browsers

I'm reading 'JavaScript: The Good Parts'. Nearly a quarter of the way through and all I've read about are bad parts. I thought this would make me like JavaScript more, not less!

Most of the rants I see here are related to CSS or JavaScript, so I am very grateful I did not end up in the frontend, which I would have given up long ago.

Why is javascript such an ugly language :/ It's pure chaos and it's not fun to read.

every fucking time I use Javascript.
(yes, I'm no expert, but I can pick up ANY LANGUAGE and do this task in FIVE FUCKING MINUTES, NOT AN HOUR!!! FUCK!)

"Gee, I think this button should probably list the total recipients of the mailing, looks like I have to get the total of a column in an object, no problem, hell, i'll do it frontside just for the fuck of it'

yeah, seemed like a good idea.. AN HOUR AGO

ARRRGGGH

fucking javascript scope can take a flying leap off of a tall building, and then NOT FALL to the fucking ground because it will fucking tell me that OOPS gravity doesn't exist for javascript!
UNCAUGHT REFERENCE ERROR
right?
FUCK YOU
die from gravity like you deserve motherfucker

RANT
JetBrains should be renamed in “Shit for brains”.

Actually no. Even the dump I take in the morning has more intelligence than ANY product of that “company”.

What a fucking waste of time…

Learn modern Javascript, Python, data science, machine learning, to catch up and not be outdated

Spending half the day wondering why the longest javascript calculation in existence is not matching client supplied excel by 0.22 percent.. Realised one number was parseInt'd instead of parseFloat'd... FML

Recruiter wrote me to see if i was interested in a java frontend dev role - my answer:
Just as a fyi - java and javascript is like car and carpet - not the same thing :)

Honestly if another person complains about how Java and JavaScript are not the same at all I'm gunna be mad

To have only one Javascript framework which everyone can use which does not do breaking changes every fuckin 6 months or year. And newer versions are backwards compatible. And will not endorse in any framework wars

We have pretty fast and lean dev process between QA/Design/Devs.

But sometimes, it's going to shit ;p

QA :
An option "ROLE" is missing for grouping in that table.
So 5 min to create ticket, assign someone from design on it

Design : Yeah, this is true. We missed that option in our design.
Proceds to modift figma by adding an option "Role" to a drop down.

Reasigned to Junior dev.

Junior dev : I have no clue how grouping works with graphql.

So at least 30 min.

Reasigned to me.

Me after 1 min of looking at it : PR chhanges on screen shot :

Facepalm... Everyhtibng was already in place, someone forgot to add id AND name, not just name.

Git blame => Or never mind... it was me..

Not bad vs 2022. Not bad !

I wanted to write that (really, not a joke).
Sometimes, auto complete just works.

Never tell 60 users on a demo to "click on this button" at the same time.

Infra went "poof". No time to auto scale in this scenario.

Usual usage of app : 4 to 5 personns who do actions in the windows of 2 seconds.

I admit i don't like JavaScript... not one bit and mainly because it is not strongly typed. The idea of Typescript is interesting.
Anyways, i decided to jump in and learn Angular... So do you guys have any advice for me?

Auto tuning for Azure SQL databases is cool but :
DON’T allow it to automatically drop indexes ! (My bad, I should’ve tested that before)
It dropped one of the most used indexes in the DB. Yep, just like that. 150+ timeout exceptions and customers going crazy

I';m officialy spending 30$ / day on cigarettes.

And average of 20$/day on beer.

Where do people find motivation to stop these things lol ?!

A lot of money here xD

For all you complaning about Windows updates.

The last one requires you to accept new Terms of Service.

So just don't accept the : no updates EVER.

client: i want u to build me this site and please disable javascript on it

me: thats not a very good practice but whatever

client: Remember... No Javascript...

...

i smiled because it took me 10 seconds to get the reference

WHAT COCKSUCKING LUNATICS DECIDED TO MAKE A PDF ONLY ABLE TO DOWNLOAD WITH JAVASCRIPT.

I CANT DOWNLOAD YOUR FUCKING PDFS TO SIGN BY TONIGHT BECAUSE ALL I HAVE IS MY IPad. WHICH DOESNT FUCKING HAVE JAVASCRIPT

THERE IS A TIME AND A PLACE TO USE JAVASCRIPT AND THIS IS NOT ONE OF THEM. GO CASTRATE YOURSELF WITH A RUSTY KNIFE

My team lead thinks using a double Not operator in javascript is too confusing and not readable.

Opinions?

First rant. Getting into web development like html+css, javascript, node.js etc. I am a back-end type of guy, not a front-end. It would be great if you guys give me some suggestions.

We are recruiting a front-end developer for 90k/year.
He refused to implement a simple ordering on our test, telling us “There are libraries to do that”. Apparently, TypeScript is not front-end.
Kindoff questioning our decision now.

Friend: Java and javascript are the same..
Me: You're kidding me right? It's like comparing a Ferrari to a bicycle. Not even in the same leagues man!

I am not an actual dev but I just started using devRant. is that ok with you devs? Also I will always mix java with javascript. Sorry

JAVASCRIPT IS NOT THE SAME AS JAVA!!!!!!

I need to relax, just heard my friend saying he knew someone at Oracle ‘you know the company that owns JavaScript’. I just yelled at him.
Ok now CALM DOWN🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬😤😤😤😤

Anyone has a better way to calculate / display advancement % ?

I';m using that by habit for the past 15 years. But it's kind of boring to write every time.

Learn JavaScript.!!

Everybody talk about functional programming, I was thinking why php json_encode is not working on large array.

Javascript is Awesome.

Out out new guide lines for pull requests.

Reviewing around 10 PR today. All respect them

Overload is pleased. ;O

When you used ALL time for refactoring and there is no more time left for much needed work

JavaScript may not last when people would realize it is not related to Java.

Not sure how to feel.

Just landed on a stackoverflow querstion. Originated by myself 5 years ago. With a long discussion and a solution.

Sooo how the fuck I don't remember it at all ?

I hate websites that heavily relies on javascript for showing webpages.

Debugging in deep "pages" is so much time consuming.

Also, it is not possible to link to specific inner "page" since url stays same.

Is it too much LinQ for others devs to get ?

Personally, I don't think so.

After 2 interviews and a complex case study made to apply for Javascript Architect I was asked to travel from Brazil to Germany for final interview. First question:
Interviewer: what are things that you want to learn next.
Me (dumb): Maybe some functional language like Erlang
Interviewer: why not Javascript?
Me (dumber): Javascript is not that good for functional

Man, I WAS nervous that day 😭

More and more people will hate javascript..even if they are not using it LOL

Do you think that not declaring datatype in JavaScript is an advantage?

I'm most into C# which I find extremely difficult to get used to it.

Trying to put together all the code of my ajax request into a function so I do not repeat myself. The code works perfectly outside but not in the function. Well fuck JavaScript. I've been stuck here for two days.

Did you know in javascript nulls are undefined, but undefined are not null, and vice-versa.

When as JavaScript developer you need to do Java Android. And not the simple kind of tasks... I have 0 knowledge on the whole Android platform.. FML

Discussing with the boss:

boss: < How is it going? >
me: < I'm trying to rewrite this horrible javascript code with typescript >
boss: < But release cannot support typescript >
me: < I can compile typescript locally and then release >
boss: < You are not listening to me! we can not execute a script in typescript >
me: < In fact we will use a script in javascript >
boss: < So why are you rewriting it in typescript? >

And so the discussion continued for another 20 minutes...

BANano, a free library that transpiles B4X (a crossplatform development tool) source code to JavaScript.

It allows users who are not fluent in JavaScript to make PWA's and dynamic Websites using a VB-like language and the Abstract Designer native to the B4X tool.

What the fuck is going on ???

How the "intermediate" c# developers can't do a simple null safe average of even numbers in an array ?!

Why they still write loops and shit (without any nul checks ofc) while it can be done in 1 line :

array?.Where(x => x % 2 == 0).DefaultIfEmpty(0).Average() ?? 0

WHY ? Even Junior c# dev is supposed to know that shit

Every single linux tutoriel ever :

Do theses steps :

Ste p 1:
Ste p 2:
Step 3 :

Reboot your system.

System doesn't boot anymore

AT THE FUCKING END in SMALL TEXT : "Oh you can't follow these instruction if you are applying changes to system disk. here is the right wasy : <link>"

Stupid linux communty. Warning ashould be AT THE FUCKING begining.

Trying to run our Angular application today, got this error message: "Node Sass does not yet support your vurrent environment: OS X-64bit with Unsupported runtime (64)"
JavaScript frameworks cause problems on different hardware architectures and platforms. That probably was not easy to break...

If I have to write that web component again just because “well I think this technology will be better” I’m going freak out...

Fuck them all who say Java and JavaScript are the same !!!

Feel like to punch them at that instant.

Node.js, why!? I understand that websites are built on JavaScript so we've been fucked into having to use it without a choice. But why the hell would anyone choose to use JavaScript for backend development? I just finished an interview assessment that required me to use Node.js and it sucked. Granted, I'm not a JavaScript developer, but there was nothing that made me want to go back for more.

fuck javascript

took me an hour, but I finally figured out why the date was so wack

can you?

admittedly not strong in js, cuz I hate it

Is it not okay to code javascript on intellj?

How can Javascript, one of the MOST WIDELY used and MATURE languages with A MILLION CANCEROUS FRAMEWORKS, NOT have a basic collections class? Are data structures not important in Javascript?

I've been struggling all night trying to get Sets working - surprise, they're utterly useless in Javascript cause you can't define the set comparator.

I just lost it when I found out THERE ISN'T EVEN A QUEUE. WT-ACTUAL-F

I was around 12. My mother just took a new position as Algorithmic and programming teacher (Mathematics before) for high school seniors. (Around 16-17 in Russia back in a day).

So sometimes, I waited for her after school, listening (just a bit) what she was teaching.

Then one day I was waiting while she was giving an exam of 2 hours to seniors (End of year exam). In 20 minutes, I doodled a thing on a piece of paper and showed my mother. I was correct on all questions and all flow diagrams (Was not called like this back in a day).

From this moment, I knew, programming and logic are for me.

At the end of high school (So I was 17), I received the collective message from most girls in my class saying : “ You felt in love with computers and ignored us”. They were right ☹, I realised it way later.