This is when writing a script that sets up your dev environment pays off...

Having 6 new employees join our startup. The script installs pretty much all dev tools and apps as well as sets up the device management profiles. 😎

When you finally get the team running on git and your boss gives you a bitbucket to commemorate

Taken from Reddit 😂😂😂😂

Dark theme is soothing 😋

As cold as the water was that night..

Taken from Quora

"So you're a coder?"
"Yeah"
"Can you hack the pentagon then"

🙃

When you want a stress ball but can't think of a good rant

LONG RANT AHEAD!

In my workplace (dev company) I am the only dev using Linux on my workstation. I joined project XX, a senior dev onboarded me. Downloaded the code, built the source, launched the app,.. BAM - an exception in catalina.out. ORM framework failed to map something.

mvn clean && mvn install

same thing happens again. I address this incident to sr dev and response is "well.... it works on my machine and has worked for all other devs. It must be your environment issue. Prolly linux is to blame?" So I spend another hour trying to dig up the bug. Narrowed it down to a single datamodel with ORM mapping annotation looking somewhat off. Fixed it.

mvn clean && mvn install

the app now works perfectly. Apparently this bug has been in the codebase for years and Windows used to mask it somehow w/o throwing an exception. God knows what undefined behaviour was happening in the background...

Months fly by and I'm invited to join another project. Sounds really cool! I get accesses, checkout the code, build it (after crossing the hell of VPNs on Linux). Run component 1/4 -- all goocy. run component 2,3/4 -- looks perfect. Run component 4/4 -- BAM: LinkageError. Turns out there is something wrong with OSGi dependencies as ClassLoader attempts to load the same class twice, from 2 different sources. Coworkers with Windows and MACs have never seen this kind of exception and lead dev replies with "I think you should use a normal environment for work rather than playing with your Linux". Wtf... It's java. Every env is "normal env" for JVM! I do some digging. One day passes by.. second one.. third.. the weekend.. The next Friday comes and I still haven't succeeded to launch component #4. Eventually I give up (since I cannot charge a client for a week I spent trying to set up my env) and walk away from that project. Ever since this LinkageError was always in my mind, for some reason I could not let it go. It was driving me CRAZY! So half a year passes by and one of the project devs gets a new MB pro. 2 days later I get a PM: "umm.. were you the one who used to get LinkageError while starting component #4 up?". You guys have NO IDEA how happy his message made me. I mean... I was frickin HIGH: all smiling, singing, even dancing behind my desk!! Apparently the guy had the same problem I did. Except he was familiar with the project quite well. It took 3 more days for him to figure out what was wrong and fix it. And it indeed was an error in the project -- not my "abnormal Linux env"! And again for some hell knows what reason Windows was masking a mistake in the codebase and not popping an error where it must have popped. Linux on the other hand found the error and crashed the app immediatelly so the product would not be shipped with God knows what bugs...

I do not mean to bring up a flame war or smth, but It's obvious I've kind of saved 2 projects from "undefined magical behaviour" by just using Linux. I guess what I really wanted to say is that no matter how good dev you are, whether you are a sr, lead or chief dev, if your coworker (let it be another sr or a jr dev) says he gets an error and YOU cannot figure out what the heck is wrong, you should not blame the dev or an environment w/o knowing it for a fact. If something is not working - figure out the WHATs and WHYs first. Analyze, compare data to other envs,... Not only you will help a new guy to join your team but also you'll learn something new. And in some cases something crucial, e.g. a serious messup in the codebase.

I feel like I need a shower after looking at this 💀🚿

I still haven't updated my Windows laptop of new update. The reminder is annoying lol, I have clicked snooze button more than I do on my alarm

!rant
== fun post

This is so true.. I hope the networking folks know where their manuals are 😂😁

Credits: Codechef

Unnecessary optimizations everywhere

When your shortcuts don't work anymore..

You always need to remind yourself that where you began :)

Java is to JavaScript

: what Car is to Carpet
: what Swift is to Suzuki Swift
: what Perl is to a Pearl
: what Ruby is to a Ruby Gemstone
: what Go is to Go Home
: what Shell is to Sea Shell
: what Bash is to Big Bash
: what Alice is to Alice in wonderland
: what Rust is to Rusty Theron
: what Awk is to your Awkward cousin
: what Dart is to Darts
: what Julia is to Julia Roberts
: what Korn is to Corn
: what Maple is to Syrup
: what Caml is to a Camel
: what CHILL is to Netflix
: what Crack is to Crack
: what Curl is to Curls
: what Hugo is to Boss

To be continued..

Have a joke? Say it in comments
Criteria : programming language on left , analog on right

There is always someone better than you. Just try to beat your old self.

'So now you'll be able to program yourself a girlfriend?'

😭

When you introduce new bugs while debugging old ones..

I'm building a website for a new company and the boss doesn't understand technology at all. says he doesn't want me using any html because it is old and I have to use python because it's a 'hot language.' I try to explain that html is for websites and he replies 'not mine.'

!rant

IDE or text editors ?
I tbh use notepad++ to work on text files and encrypted files for passwords lol

JS memes are the best

I just saw a job post for a
"Sr. Software engineer intern".
Can someone explain. What in the world

I hate how people think that to be a "hacker" or hacking is this special job title. lol. Hacking is just using something in a way in which it was not intended to be used.

So pretty much think ...anal sex.

There. Now many people are "hackers"

My algorithms professor uses safari on Windows as his main browser

!rant
The change log from notepad++ update. The last paragraph is the cream!

" The issue of a hijacked DLL concerns scilexer.dll (needed by Notepad++) on a compromised PC, which is replaced by a modified scilexer.dll built by the CIA. When Notepad++ is launched, the modified scilexer.dll is loaded instead of the original one.
It doesn't mean that CIA is interested in your coding skill or in your sex message content typed in Notepad++, but rather it prevents raising any red flags while the DLL does data collection in the background.

It's not a vulnerability/security issue in Notepad++, but for remedying this issue, from this release (v7.3.3) forward, notepad++.exe checks the certificate validation in scilexer.dll before loading it. If the certificate is missing or invalid, then it just won't be loaded, and Notepad++ will fail to launch.

Checking the certificate of DLL makes it harder to hack. Note that once users’ PCs are compromised, the hackers can do anything on the PCs. This solution only prevents from Notepad++ loading a CIA homemade DLL. It doesn't prevent your original notepad++.exe from being replaced by modified notepad++.exe while the CIA is controlling your PC.

Just like knowing the lock is useless for people who are willing to go into my house, I still shut the door and lock it every morning when I leave home. We are in a f**king corrupted world, unfortunately. "

A nice UML diagram of a typical Electron application

I... I can up vote a post? Without having at least X points? Psh, this place is way better than Stack Overflow.

If every issue is a critical, none of them are

Just when I thought I'd seen the craziest job ad...

Title: Sr. Lead Data Scientist / Python Developer

Required education: bachelor's in CompSci, Math, etc. PhD preferred (lol)

Required experience: 10+ years in Python development

Other requirements: must be under 25 years of age to qualify for funding from EcoCanada (lmao!!!! y'all trippin)

Who is writing these job ads? I swear they get more insane every day.

Noobs : Send Nudes
Programmer's : Send Scripts

Broke Up with my girl.
Can't focus on Project.
Plz help, tell me how you guys recover from this.

Really... Cookies... What

Been a jr. dev at a company that's badly in need of more devs. So they hire a sr. dev to work w/ me. Dude's got yrs of xp over me, so he should be ramped up in no time, right?

Jk, he doesn't even know the basics of git. Also, his code is shit. If he's not let go anytime soon, at least I'll look awesome relative to this guy come performance reviews ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.

It's ok computer. I go to sleep after 20 mins of inactivity too.

If you're a programmer & are happy

Please stand up, or if you're lazy , have your hand up 🕺

A triangle to a circle

t : you're pointless 😑

c : that's how I roll 😎

I'll just leave this here....

How do two functions break up with each other ?

- They stop calling each other.

*Me feeling productive on a day
Today I am going to start working on the complex part of my proect. Spends 1 hour deciding what all technologies to use , how to implement it, which design patterns to use .

Let's do it

*15 min later
Making some tiny css corrections

*3 hrs later
Making some tiny css corrections

*An eternity later
REALISED DIDN'T SET THE SIZE OF THE PARENT CONTAINER TO 100%

So much for thinking about being productive for today :(((

Sometimes the testers do a good job, sometimes.. 😂😂

So the company I work for had a critical project they needed done in 8 days.
We told our boss it wasn't possible because of the scope of the project but he went on with motivational speeches about how anything is possible. So he hired 12 devs for 8 days.
The scope of the project is already big enough but everyday upper management either add 10 new features, modify 2, or delete some already.
We basically sleep 2 hours a day and today is the last day. 5 minutes ago we just had a meeting that we're supposed to change a core feature. We don't even have a stable system yet and everyone is fucking pissed.

Was asked to make an e-sign system that manipulates PDFs to insert an image and the date at different coordinates on x number of different pages.

200 hours later, it was done. Now I'm the PDF guy

My setup

They have no idea.

Just visited a mattress store & I sat in car with YouTube on. Got an add for some new technologied pillows.

Felt like I was being followed..

Chuck Norris, Sr. Software Engineer.

Jr. Dev: We got an issue in prod.
Sr. dev: Okay, what is the issue?
Jr. dev: Don't know, just got an email.
Sr. dev: Did you check the service?
Jr. dev: Which service?
Sr. dev: What have you debugged so far?
Jr. dev: I explained you the issue and waiting for your inputs.

😑😑😑😑😑

When you are a Dev at UBER & cannot figure out the date/year format..

You are the right person for the right company !!

Starting on Dvorak today... Bglj vd ofuv!

Me: ssl conn cannot be esrablished. Cert is not signed

Sr. Dev/architect: what url are you calling?

Me: dns_name:port

sd/a: yeah, I know that. But what is the url?

Me: *how the f... Did you get 'sr' and 'arch' titles, man???*
Me: why does it matter?

Sd/a: certificates depend on a url. Our LB selects a cert according to a request url

me: *buddy, I like you but I no longer look at you with respect like I used to before today...*

Devs in our country are people who will allways have a job. Because companies here need us more than we need them. That's why we have 2x(jr-mid), 3x, 4x (mid), 5x+ (sr) average earnings country-wide.

Job is good, perks are nice, hardware is awesome (idk when was the last time I worked with anything weaker than i7), internet is brilliant (one of the best in the world; I think we have recently lost the "best internet in the world" title recently to some other country). Companies are fighting over us, offering better salaries, better terms. I was even bold enough to list my terms in LinkedIn's summary section and still I am getting offers :D

Devs' life is awesome here :)

Avicii died. 😞😢
At just 28.

He got me through some tough and grueling times. I still use his tunes while coding. I'm still shocked that he left so early. But he made it count. He might've lived short but he lived large.
I'll miss him. I'm sad that he left so early. But his work will live on. I hope to become as good at programming computers as he was at using them to make music. His music was perfection. RIP.

I'm a lead Dev on an agile team. We were just handed a fixed scope, fixed date project. On Monday, instead of helping push this out, I get to have a meeting to explain how throwing more bodies at it will slow us down.

"No! We are not code monkeys! Knowing JS and Java isn't the same as knowing our application. Stop fantasizing that it's a simple manpower issue and leave us alone so we can work these fucking nightmare timelines in peace!!"

I'm looking for a better way than that to explain it to the Sr management for the business so I don't get fired.

WTF!!???

Ctrl+Y doesn't redo in android studio

My most intense day as a dev was when we had a product announcement day (with 70 engineers from dozens of companies invited) and the night before the app still didn't run all of the way through.

My team and I worked all night and had our first successful run-through at 10am when the announcement presentation and demo was at 1pm. All I can say is that I didn't breath when that demo was running live... But it worked flawlessly.

After that experience I realized that I had enough of non-tech management setting unrealistic deadlines, quit that job, and am now helping to build a startup. It has been so much more fulfilling and now I set the deadlines. 😎

I'm finding myself as a night owl rather than a morning person. 😂

if(stickersReceived()) {
coding.pause();
print("Finally! The Stickers are Here!! Thank You DevRant.")
setMood(Good);
coding.resume();
}

So he is in the “elite” team as a “Sr” dev and i’m in the normal team as a ssr dev.

He: Hey look, the ‘F’ case is empty and doesn’t return anything, can you help me? This is some old code and we have to add some features.

Code:

Switch(string) {
case “J”:
case “F”:
cade “D”:
// some code
break;
// more code
}

I’m crying

Day of the interview sr. Architect says: "We have near 100% unit test coverage in our code."

One month later when I tell him there are 0 unit tests written against 300 projects: "Yeah, I knew that was a problem."

What can you do when the people who want to hire you lie outright to your face?

Oh yeah, and not a god damned one was written using any sense of object oriented programming at all. Every single damned project is written like its on a motherfucking punchcard put together by a cs 101 student with a 2 hour fucking deadline.

I can understand if it needs some work, just tell me. Don't fucking lie to me just to get me in the door to fix a problem you know you have. JUST HAVE SOME FUCKING RESPECT FOR YOUR CANDIDATES AND DON'T FUCKING LIE TO THEM!

Off to drink some scotch and think about what it would be like to shove a finger deep enough into my nostril to hear a pop and smell popcorn before going off into that good night.

I said good day.

Did not expect this from Google. Seems like you're hiring real linguistic pros.

Now this is not the only thing I didn't like, they're very disorganized & the interviewer got sick & two of three interviewers were so cocky.. bad bad vibes

On the other side, a small local company is giving warm & good vibes, seems more accommodating even with lower pay.. their website sucks & the tech director was honest & smiling.

So yeah, Fuck You Google
..|.

Me: here's the code.

Sr: allright, looks fairly ok. Just change all *FIELD* modifiers to protected rather than private.

Me: what? Why???

Sr: bcz that's the code style we've adopted.

Me: srsly? If so.. Where do you use private fields then?

Sr: nowhere. We use either protected or public so we could extend any class we want

DevRant - We need polls in this app! , Unless its there somewhere and I haven't noticed.

I hate it when your non dev friend uses top notch hardware and I am stuck with a piece of shit junk

Does balding scare the shit out of anyone else here? I am 19 and have started showing signs of male pattern baldness *sigh*. Just hope to make it to 25 without balding completely.

Straight up there 😂 No sugar coating.
Nice guys at W3C lol

I just spent 2 hours helping a fellow Sr Dev format an “if block” in code. Then helped show them how to step through the code. This is what passes as a senior at my company? I no joke have stayed at this job for 6 more months than I wanted to out of pure pity for my team. I want to quit so bad, but the team is in such terrible shape and can’t hire anyone new that is willing to stay. All good people personally, but gosh this job is just brain dead and eats my weekends when I should be focusing on family. Back to helping through the 500 line if block. There are worse things in life, but this just feels terrible.

Coworker: I've got an error, can't figure it out...
Me: Send error
Coworker: NullPointerException
Me: fml

Sr. my balls.

!rant
Wrote my first unit test. Strangely feels satisfying.

When your crush is a programmer (;

Simple and accurate!
UI/UX makes a huge difference to average users. Just because you're the developer/expert user, do not think what's obvious to you is obvious to everyone. Think about being in a bubble. This is why you need collaboration with people in a different scope. Or atleast gather feedback from users.

😡😡😡 Who here thinks that great software can be build in a few hours?!?! My silly ass boss does. He haven't programmed in decades and think we're supposed to be able to build software that doesn't break, has the best security, no flaws, feature rich in VERY, VERY short amount of time!! 😡😡😡 Fuck out of here!! It pisses me off to my core.

Me: Just finished the required software. In a short amount of time with new stuff I've never worked with before.

Him: Well, it took u a week to do. I heard it should've only have taken u a few hours.

Then u build the shit then!!! Fuck out of here.

The Sr. Dev and I was talking about this on Friday. U won't good product...leave us the fuck alone and let us work!!! He don't think that there will be small issues that come up. He thinks we're supposed to already know those issues are gonna exists, like really u fuck tart!?

FUUUUUUCK!!!!

Thanks to devrant , now I can be one those people trying to look social in one those so called meets with personal touch where everyone is scrolling their Facebook (still)

!rant

When people listen to a complete story and then ask who the villian was..

DEVS : It's like reading JavaScript and then asking what is "this"

Best debugging tool :)

Has anyone been in a situation where a sr dev, with 12 yrs of experience and paid more than you, can't fix something after trying for a week and now the boss comes to you and expects you (a lowly paid dev with only 5) to fix it in a day, now that it's super urgent?

That describes my day... FML... I have to do overtime tonight...

Feels nice to have some place to rant now though....

*Presents finished product to client
Client: We won't pay until you add this new feature that was never in the original specs.
*One week later after adding new feature
Client: Uhh, actually there's something else we want, do that then you get paid.

😬😬😬😬😬😬😬

Does your code have a bug?

Is it just me or is it really difficult to use software/tools that aren't visually pleasing?

Error: rant not found

I hate the idea of a programmer's day.
I like the logic (256th day) but hate the idea.
It feels full of bullshit. It feels fake.
I guess it had that wannabe impersonator vibe to it that makes me nauseated.
I have similar feelings towards other kinds of such days.

I been seeing spam on devrant lately. It is usually a new account which only have 1 rant (a spam)

Maybe devrant should include some kind of "Are you a developer captcha" which make you fix a bug before creating an account.

(the meeting)

I've had a non-IT world colleague ask me to build a website, I asked if it's a static website like resume etc with no database & stuff. I quoted $1000 if that's the case since that's minimal maintenance
He goes he needs a simple website, like eBay to sell his products. Also need features like Amazon, integration of various payments. And this and that.

For $1000 !!

I felt good that he thinks I can make an e-commerce site but f¢k that thinking man.. I told him to hire a freelancer and told him about few sites.

Maybe we'll see a thousand dollar e-commerce site, haha I only hope the payments part is secure 😂😂 I ain't buying anything anyways. I'm 99 % sure nobody's gonna do it and next time we talk, he's gonna be like 1000 and a 50 haha

It will never stop happening... people who don't know shit about code, assuming some conclusion and giving their opinions on software.

When Team Lead of Design (HTML) department wins PROGRAMMER OF THE YEAR award annual award of your organization :|

And Sr Tester wins GEEK OF THE YEAR :|

No personal vendetta but what the fuck :/

My girlfriend dumped me coz I named a js prototype on her, she said I treated her as classless.

Every time I have to recall how to LaTeX, it's a huge pain in the ass. It's like learning to code in Greek (I don't know Greek). Happens every single time (it can be months before I need to use it again).

However.

Every time I finish my creation, I fall in love with LaTeX all over again.

I trimmed my beard and now can't grow it back.
:/

When you are trying to be supportive to a colleague but he sees your act as condescension on your part. BITCH I DON'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT YOU, BUT UNFORTUNATELY I HAVE TO WORK WITH YOU SO PLEASE KNOW THE BARE MINIMUMS TO DO THE TASK. Also he complained to others that he was offended . He was tryna learn react before knowing es6 and nodejs , doesn't know asynchronous and was strongly suggesting that our whole fucking team move to React and I just suggested some topics to look to. I carried his ass once , and seems like now will have to carry it once more :(

Slapping idiots around.

This needs to be a trend.

---
Actual rant :
I'm sitting in this idiot haven completing my mandatory hours doing nothing. Earlier I would spend this time learning stuff but I'm too fed up to do anything. This place is driving me mad and just today I had to suffer through more madness that is blocking me from resolving a bug.(I don't have the license to run the product I'm supposed to be fixing)
The number of inept idiots is too damn high. I try not to be bothered but I can only try so much.

A C++ question. Correct answer will get you a virtual thug glasses & a cigar if you're into that , and upvotes (:

#include <stdio.h>

int main(void) {

int i = 4;

int* p = &i;

i = 8;

printf("i divided by *p is: %d\n", i/*p);

return 0;

}

What is the result of running this code?

Management Double standards...
At a previous employer, the manager had me doing some QA testing for a updated version of some customer facing UIs. I spent 3 days constantly testing, except for my lunch break.
Every bug that I found I sent to a Sr dev.
Now this Sr dev was a coding savant. I mean awesome coder, but he had the personality of a rat and snake combined. If he wasn't coding he was brown-nosing the manager, talking about how he was doing all the work, or trying to rat on us other devs.
Anyway this dev has spent the 3 days of bug fixing alternating between watching videos and fixing bugs. Don't know what the videos were, don't realy care. I do know that he did not like to be disturbed while watching them...
On the third day, on my lunch break, I decided to watch two fifiteen minute videos on VSTS feeds and linking node packages.
As soon as I started Sr dev came over and asked me if I was focused on the teams priorities. I told him that it was my lunch break and since this was related to an upcoming sprint I thought it was worth it.
This S.O.B. goes full out hissy fit. He was flat out throwing a tantrum like my small daughter would. He made such a noise that my manager walked over and asked what was going on.
This shitbag Sr dev smirked at me and asked to speak to the manager in his office. When the manager called me over I knew what was up. I was lectured on not focusing on the teams priorities. I tried to explain that the videos were relevant to an upcoming sprint but was shot down. When I brought up the fact that the Sr dev was watching videos, the manager told me flat out that he didn't care. I was mad and told the manager that this was bullshit. All the manager cared about was keeping the Sr dev happy. I was told to "treat <shithead sr dev> with respect or else".
It was at that time I decided to look for another job. Less than a month later I left, for a much better paying job with awesome benefits. Sr dev acted like he was hurt I was leaving. Manager couldn't have cared less.
When some others on the team heard what he did, they started looking for work elsewhere too.
A month after I left another Sr dev on the same project left. At the same time a BA and QA tester demanded to be put on another team or else they would leave.
Manager started out with a team of 6 was left with only two people.
When the last one left, manager had the nerve to ask me why I didn't let him know anyone was unhappy. I told him if he cared so little for me, why would I think he care about them.
Ultimately, leaving was one of the best things I could have done.

Was interested to learn about OpenGL and WebGL. Just found out no fucking drivers exist for my graphics card on Ubuntu.
WTF AMD !!! Atleast provide some compatibility for your product if I am purchasing it !!!

I have arrived at a conclusion that most, if not all, people in management (managers, sr managers, directors, VPs, etc) are assholes.

And every single person who is hands on with their skill is gold of a human being.

I think, to be a manager, the basic criteria is to be an asshole. Fuckers ignore you, discourage you, belittle you in front of everyone, never help you, and make your life difficult as much as they can.

That totally ruins the productivity and moral of a person.

Welcome to Capitalism, Floyd.

And person who is hands on, knows and has fuck ton of more knowledge and wisdom needed to achieve something. They are very helpful and nice.

Just bagging a heavy pay check and making crappy decisions doesn't make you a good boss.

Dear Contractor,

Please understand that the reason I have hired you is so I could offload fairly marginal tasks and projects to someone else so that my work queue stops being a constipated mess of things that need done. HOWEVER, if you continue to freaking need constant hand holding I'll do the damn project myself. STOP ASKING ME EVERY 30 SECONDS IF I HAVE AN OPINION ON WHAT FUCKING TEXT EDITOR YOU SHOULD BE USING.

Good help is so hard to find.

Sincerely,

Sr. Developer

So, I'm a Jr. Webdev started one year ago to work on a €200mln. retail platform. Our development team consists out of my Sr. dev who designed the whole platform and it's basically his baby. Now he's leaving and it's expected from me to do new developments, support, meetings with managers from all over Europe, roll-outs in new countries, deal with all the issues SAP has, eat their bullshit when they can't upload a .csv file because they are too stupid to check for missing leading zeros. Listen to important their new functions are that they want because 120% of the salespeople needs it. How stupid can this company be to take the financial risk? I'm done.

My laptop's back is rugged and rough so I can't apply any sticker...
Imagine the horrorrrrrr

True story

> Got offer for nodejs via LinkedIn
> When I appeared, the interview was for Javascript and frontend
> "Based on your skills we are calling in you another interview for Sr. PHP developer"

Fuck what you heard. THIS is what success looks like. Thanks devRant.

This is PART 1/2 of a series of rants over the course of a software engineering class years ago.

We were four team members, two had never failed a class, I’ll refer to them as MT and FT, male and female top students, respectively, and an older student with some real world experience who I’ll refer to as SR.

Rant 1: As I was familiar with the agile methodologies I became the Scrum Master and was set with the task of explaining it to the team members, SR showed up late and nobody seemed interested in learning new methodology. At this point I knew we'd have trouble as a team.

Rant 2: FT made up her project proposal without informing anybody, which required a real client/product owner. We only figured it out after her proposal was accepted as the project, so we ended up working with fake requirements.

Rant 3: This one is partly my fault. I researched first and then worked, which meant I was the last to turn up my work. In one activity MT pressures me and I agree to a deadline so everyone can send their work to the teacher in a timely manner. Since I was the last to finish, I was also asked to give the doc some formatting, which I did in a hurry so it wasn't the best.
The next day MT and FT start complaining about me, saying I took too long and that they expect me to do better next time or else. At the same time they were stressed and in a hurry because we had to explain the project outline in front of the class and they didn't study.
Turns out copying and pasting all your work in less than an hour means you don’t learn anything. FT actually asked me for help days before and I sent her a website in English, which she wasn't very good at, so she just ran it through Google Translate and called it a day.
Later FT called me rude for interrupting MT in the presentation, which I did because he started making up stuff about the project.

Rant 4: SR expressed his dislike for school through profanity in variable names and commit messages. This caused MT and FT to dislike him. I thought it was immature but if anything it should’ve been reported to the teacher and move on.

Rant 5: I was stuck trying to get the REST API working for the project Admittedly this was my fault, too, because I was pushing for the usage of things nobody was familiar with for the sake of learning. This coupled with SR’s profanity led to drama and the progress was dropped, starting over from scratch.

At this point I stepped down from the Scrum Master role as nobody seemed to listen anymore.

Don't you just love it when you have to debug someones years old project, who left ages ago and you see

Fucking hate my job 😡
I joined as nodejs dev at a mnc 3months ago involved in banking software in which i dont have any domain knowledge.. first 10 days I was told to go through fucking udemy nodejs and graphql tutorial (wtf) which i already have experience with before joining.. after that my reporting manager gives me task to resolve fields and gave me shitty jira story link to read.. that shit story link had no explanation about the fields and what the database it is, then she says to use some shitty sdk which is built internally by shiity devloper which had no documentation and have to follow other module which was again written by that sr. Dev... They hav fucked up the graphql and nodejs and entire stack and also till date no one has ever given any explanation about the domain and the fields and database schema.. this manager refuses to share knowledge about the domain now how the fuck i resolve the graphql schema which was again written by non technical b.a.. all they have used is latest technology in a shitty way with no standards to to follow .. no dataloading no caching no batching.. use shitty sdk which does not give access to dbconn and fucking tightly coupling expressjs which when i start consumes crazy 400Mb of memory .. these fucking seniors devs + the fucking b.a having 12+. Yrs exp each have fucked the entire codebase... Each day killing my passion for app development.. fuckkk ... Dunno what to do now

Apple app signing and certificates: how do people even circumvent/hack these things? I'm hardly able to do it legit.

How do you guys deal with "senior" devs that want to use you because they're not so "senior"???

Situation:

There's this SR Frontend developer that keeps asking me for "suggestions" to modernize the frontend.

This dev, was asked a very simple ticket involving some JS and CSS.

I had to do the JS and this dev modified a VENDOR CSS (that was all she did)

She logged 3d6h of figuring out the ticket and "doing a bunch of cross browser testing"

I logged 2 hours to see what to do and implementing the change.

Now she is asking me to join in a group so "we" can come up with a plan.

I hate how people bullshit their way up

Fight over email thread

From: manager
To: Sr. Manager
CC: ME
Subject: blah blah blah

Me: just chill

- Sr said it's firewall's fault.
- I said it's not fw - it's gotta be application's fault.
- He walked away.

That was intense

tfw...

• the new "sr dev" asks what the point of TDD is
• being polite, I answer in an ELI5 format
• rest of the room nods head in agreement
• new "sr dev" still has baffled look on face

Why are vegans & mac users so fucking annoying.
Eat what you like.
Use what you like.

Why tf you have to tell me what you eat & what you use is the only good thing in the world. Stop going 'how can you eat that?' & 'how can you use that?' Keep it to yourself 🔫😠

Senior group project in college.

When you decide to meet up and one member doesn't show up at first meeting.

So I sent an email about the research I did on the feasibility of the project and how to implement a core requirement. 2 days later & no response yet..

Why do I think I'm gonna be the one the pull off the application by myself & then have to put name of people who have no idea how I got it to work..

Update !!
/**
I’ve been given the liberty to choose my job title by my HR,
Can you guys suggest a good one
**/

My current title is Sr. Product Engineer.

They have suggested product manager or technical manager , but I feel these sound bossy

/**
Any recommendations are welcome
**/

Why name Tree a Tree when it's really Root if you look at it with head up ?

(Tree Data Structure)

We're really taught to look at the world upside down

Company's HR team has launched a eco drive. As part of the initiative they're asking everyone to use only one tissue paper (among other things) to save trees.
.
.
So they've printed that message on thick glossy papers and pasted them, at least four per washroom among other places.

Okay, I guess.

how my sr. dev determines which user is logged in:
$userId = $this->Cookie->read ('userId');

Brought a stressball into work today (not a devrant one) and it popped within 10 minutes, of course causing more stress.

For some reason the backend kept throwing errors when I tried to save a long string containing markdown. Initially I assumed I must be escaping things incorrectly but that all looked fine. Asked the backend guy to take a look.

Turned out that in order to count the number of words they were using a regex, which seems fine, unless you construct the regex out of my string and run that over the word count regex... 🤔

Official sample apps that are incomplete and lack documentation... T_T

What the fuck is wrong with Google?!!

Trying to log into Gmail.
Forgot password.
Gmail: To reset, code from authenticator app is required.
Me: Super. Good thing I set it up.
Enters code.
Gmail: Recovery email.
Me : Uh... Forgot that too.
Gmail: Some email address to communicate.
Me: Super!
Enters some other email address.
Receives mail with a link.
Me: Finally!
Opens link

Gmail: "When did you create your account?"
Me: Uh... If I had that kind of memory, we wouldn't be dancing right now.
.
.
.
Gmail: Sorry we couldn't verify you.

WHAT THE FUCK, GOOGLE?!
What sort of sadist play is this?!

Dropped them a mail to get access back. Got a link in the auto reply that explains how to repeat the above process. WTF?!

What the actual fuck?!

Tough Choices..
Too many of them 😂

Does anyone here just wake up and feel shitty for absolutely no reason why ? When I say absolutely no reason means none whatseover from previous day etc . I wanna know if it's just me 😅

Sounds about right 😋😂

I'm trying really hard not to be sensitive, but my manager is making it difficult with their "constructive criticisms" ...

Just finished up a call with them. And I'm so tired. I'm not even angry or upset, I just feel so tired of their bullshit.

I set up a meeting as a courtesy to get them up to date on all the code changes I made. Last night I stayed up late to try and get things in before the deadline and this morning just killed me when they say.

"I don't think I should have given you this."

"I was right, you weren't ready to start doing this."
(Then don't even bother giving me anymore tasks then, I don't fucking care.)

"you clearly don't understand how branches work"
(Absolutely fucking false, I fixed that shit and am very familiar with how to understand the structure of the fucking repo)

"you are rushing and I don't need you messing up the website"
(I'm being proactive you twat, not rushing, making it very difficult for me to do the work and being productive)

Like seriously bro! Don't fucking patronize me for the work I was trying to get out. And trust me this fucking meeting is done in order to get ahead of potential issues, not a time to be condescending of my skills or lack there-of as you seem to so keenly think.

If you had this much doubt about my abilities then why give me the fucking Sr. title? Fucking trust that I'm being honest, and I'm trying to get us to a good spot, not fucking sabotage the company. God fucking damn.

IT Dept creates an update installer with a Message of "Your computer will restart now to install updates" with only an OK button when your in the middle of work with multiple apps and windows open...

1. Kill Process
2. Resume Work

Company has me giving interviews and today brought the second "Sr JavaScript Developer" that's gotten past multiple people that can't even construct a fucking "for" loop.

Get the fuck out of here... And those excuses at the end trying to explain your "industry experience" just annoy me further.

If I have to smile, thank, and shake another one of these fucktards hands, I'm gonna scream!

Does the Big O make a big difference?

Anyone else have this, seems like you can do double the work in late night pm/am than in day am/pm..

And I'm starting my internship next week.. gotta be a morning person now :/

"you realize that any user can gain admin access by signing in with their own creds and switching out the word "user" or "client" in the url for "admin"

"Yeah, I don't care. <sr dev> is under a lot of pressure"

Oh, you work in software? I had this cool idea...

How surprising is it when a person designs code in a very clear and impressive structure and just when you think about asking them for guidance, they reveal themselves to be complete turds?

I've been working with this person's "infra" code, at work. I've rewritten some classes to use their infra. I had a vague idea of how the classes work. I had no idea of how their code works. Expectedly, there were some issues but now only minor ones remain.
I asked them for a description of what I'm supposed to do for the few bugs I'm facing. They replied in such a condescending tone, it made me want to punch them through the screen.
Almost a month later, we're still going back and forth with emails. I've been swallowing it and responding calmly. I never got direct answers. Always deflections to irrelevant things or veiled insults. I took it because they did correct one silly error of mine that actually my code reviewer should've caught. (What's worse is that it got introduced by me just before my review and commit.)
But does that give them the right to insult me in front of the whole team including my project manager? I got a reply today from them with everyone of note in cc implying very clearly that I have not done any work. They highlighted a line from my code with some todo tag (that was not meant for them) to make their invalid point. A line that's unrelated to the bug I asked them about. This is after I proved them wrong when they insisted that I had done something wrong about a feature related to the bug.

If you don't understand what I asked for fucking ask me to ask again. But do not fucking try establish yourself on higher ground by pointing out irrelevant things in my code.
I was shocked and enraged that they'd do such a thing. I double checked everything like a mad man. Despite knowing that the fix has to come from them, I was instantly transported to the noob stage, grasping at straws. I wanted to send a really scathing reply right away but my manager asked me to wait.

My mind is now a see saw shifting between a panicked noob questioning every fucking thing I ever did in my nada life and a hungry enraged monster looking to maul that fucking shithead for burning me like that.

sr: XML is difficult format parse PDF instead.

me: (-_-)ゞ゛

checks code...

foo.fooBar = element
.match("<XMLELement>(.*)</XMLElement>")[1]
?.trim();

me: (☉_☉)

Socalled Sr Frontender... doesn’t close div tags. Common dude. You are as junior as they come XD

Anyone else feel that work is making them a worst developer

Looking at some new dev tools I spotted this gem:

"If install fails, keep trying to install a few times."

Thanks for the tip!

Graduating from a 12 week hacker bootcamp does not make you a "Sr." anything

stolen from reddit, sue me

When you walk in a job interview & see a white board...

Credits:commentsense888 but pretty sure (s)he copied it too

When the keyboard legs don't align equally anymore, and you put post it notes under one side to make it even.

But its never the same...

When you search one plus 5t..

Lol google

That one trolling coworker that makes you appreciate the weekends that much more.

If anyone looking to start learning blender because of any reason (like being a masochist among others), check out blederguru's tutorials.
The guy is doing God's work. At least animation Gods. Funny, awesome & detailed content.

How many of you wear shades at work?

I started doing it after I faced some problems due to the extremely bright lights. It's such a complicated problem that no one in the management or admin team can do anything about it. 🙄

Article in Seattle Times this morning detailing the "Legacy of Bill Gates Sr." who recently passed away.

I haven't read it, but I assume it's basically "Owner of the bill-gates-contrib repository."

Guys, a company's HR mailed me for a position that requires strong experience of ">3 years in Python with C or C++".

Does it mean Python and C/C++?
Or do they need someone who is using C/C++ to write Python?

I have some experience with adding Python support to C++ code. Does it count? 😁

[Working on some really "urgent" report for an about to publish project]
dev: client, can you explain what this value is? we can't figure it out and we though tha...
client: im gonna stop you right there, DO NOT Analyse! we dont have time for silly questions, if the design says there's a 10, just put that freaking 10 in that place...
dev: but sr, we need to...
Client: what did i say? just stop saying things and build it!

my girlfriend can't give up her silly needs and i can't give up wasting my time on my arch!

Electron is pure cancer.

When you get the big enter button & can't stop slamming your fist on it.

So I'm a junior candidate & keep getting senior , way senior job reqs. There's no way you can put job preferences on Dice so I had to put "Jr/Entry Level only" at the end my name lol & still keep getting these.

I think they don't even look at your resume. Just blast out emails hoping they get something.

Its like shooting a rifle in the sky all over & hoping you've hit the target.

Got this in my LinkedIn inbox today

"I see you are open to new job opportunity!
I am looking for Sr. Android Developer for a start-up company in San Francisco. They are rebuilding their Android SDK and looking for an Android Engineer like you.

Let me know if you are interested. I would be happy to have a quick chat with you and share more details."

Apparently they're developing a new way of Android development 🤔

I am working in a speciffic engineering team. We are using tools the company has bought and has separate teams administrating them.

Tool X is malfunctioning, throwing server-side errors (some .dlls are mentioned in the err msg)

Me: XAdmin team, there are some suspicious errors and I cannot achieve desired results using tool X

XAdmin: Let me see
XAdmin: I have checked a few forums and could not find a solution. Please log a vendor case

Me: *wat........*
Me: Vendor will most likely require some techical info, some licencing info. How do I go about that?

XAdmin: reach out to the vendor, they will schedule a call. Forward that call to me

Me: *wat............*
Me: *for shits and giggles, register a bogus account at vendor site, try to log the SR*
Me: XAdmin, while logging a SR I am asked for licencing info. What is the aaa, bbb, ccc info of your licence?

XAdmin: *crickets mating*

wtf buddy... How can you call yourself Admin of tool X and ask your customers to log vendor cases for you.....? WTF are YOU there for then??

I'm still WTFed. Like wtf....

EDIT: the guy I was talking to is XAdmins' team lead

Anyone else annoyed by their scumbag brain that is hard to please but gets content easily?
Or is it just me?

Hi guys @dfox @trogus , just wanted to report a tiny annoyance lol

If a rant is posted with a picture, then edited, I don't see any way to remove the picture without deleting the rant.

The "Attach img/gif" should say remove current attachment when the post is being edited, or an additional button maybe.

Thanks, others can give suggestions if got em (:

I met my crush last day, she is a junior from the same college, everything was fine until when she wanted to find a recharge shop to recharge her phone. I opened PayTm(One of the Mobile Wallet here in India) and said I'm doing it.

Her reaction : What ? How ? You can do recharge right away from your phone ! wow !

I lost my interest on her :(
She is BTech Final Year Student
Tragedies

-----------Jr Dev Fucked by Sr Dev RANT------

Huge data set (300X) that looks like this :
( Primary_key, group_id,100more columns) .

Dataset to be split in records of X sized files such that all primary_key(s) of same group_id has to go in same file.

Sde2 with MS from Australia, 12 years of 'experience' generates an 'algo'. 70% Test case FAILED.

I write a bin packing algo with 100% test case pass, raises pull request to MASTER in < 1 day. Same sde2 does not approve, blocking same day release.

|-_-| What the fuck |-_-| Incompetent people getting 2x my salary with <.5x my work

What's the most ridiculous job title you've seen

For me: Sr Devops Architect III

Got some detailed feedback from Booking.com, upon asking.

I answered all the questions right. But they said I am not ready for a Sr PM role (which might be true).

Here are three points that I captured from the feedback:

1. Focus on details
2. Clear and better reasoning for WHY
3. Realistic over idealistic scenarios

While it makes me feel low that I didn't make it but this feedback will surely help me overcome the challenges and clear interviews in future.

On to the next one now. Let's see what comes my way..

One thing for sure, there is lots and lots to learn for me yet.

One thing I surely lack is articulating my thoughts and keeping things crisp while conveying the information aptly.

Anyone has any tips/resources on how to improve in this area?

I was told today by a sr. engineer that applying JavaScript's trim() to a string before executing search is wrong.

His reason? Because certain search terms have spaces in the middle;

i.e "Science Fiction"

😯

Spending the day sending emails back and forth with your client because they can't be bothered to prepare a single overview of what properties the endpoint expects, and instead expect you to piece it together from 6 PDFs of which at least 2 contain contradicting information, another is outdated, and the last one seems to have been exported from word and is missing half the content.

Fun times!

This is PART 2/2 of a series of rants over the course of a software engineering course years ago.

We were four team members, two had never failed a class, I’ll refer to them as MT and FT, male and female top students, respectively, and an older student with some real world experience who I’ll refer to as SR.

Rant 6: After the previous drama MT built the groundwork for the project without allowing us to intervene for a week. When he finally disclosed his code he gave us tasks and I was stuck unable to run the new project, due to the friction with MT I asked SR for help which took a couple of days. MT accused us of not wanting to work and claimed he’d just do everything himself. I continued working on the task improving MT’s code and committed the work, which surprised MT and told me I didn’t have to do it. He ended up complimenting my code and complained less about me as a result.

Rant 7: MT kept giving SR flak for not working and took him out of the repo, which I promptly forked just in case he tried anything scummy. SR was indeed working on certain things, but he wasn’t listening to MT’s demands, there was no team coordination. I had to act as a proxy and push some of SR’s changes myself while informing him of the state of things.

Rant 8: When MT finally added SR back and some of the tasks were cleared up, FT didn’t cooperate. She seemed to have zero initiative and always relied on MT to tell her what to do, which didn’t include coordinating with SR to get the front-end templates running. I tried getting them in a group chat but it didn’t work, she just ignored him.

I learned a few things from that.
1. No matter how smart or experienced someone may seem, sometimes people are just petty or take things too personally.
2. Top students are sometimes too focused on their grades and disregard depth of knowledge and work quality.
3. A bad team at college can somehow make something acceptable if everyone works on things that add some kind of value.

So I get an email from college career development for a web developer & designer position.

Read into the requirements & function, I find this....

Who the fuck does put HARD CODING before CODING.. why would you even put that on the requirements. People are going to read that and find out how you run your company.

We all do some hard coding here & there but recruiters think it's a skill that comes before coding.. hard coding isn't coding hard...

They don't say company's name in email so I got suspicious.. or perhaps I thought I can be a detective lol. I was able to find out the company and looked at their Glassdoor.

Of course they have 1.6 stars.. two 1 star reviews by their employees. I can just imagine the horror working at this place lol.

Oh & the manager makes something like 110k.

I just have a weird dream.

I am talking to a person and I enter into a dream land for a few minute (I think it a few minute) since I am really tired.

The weird thing is I am still having a conversation with the same person in my dream about the same topic. Now I am awake and that person doesn't notice that I was asleep (Good job my unconsciousness,good job my auto reply system).

Now here is a problem.I cannot distinguish the dream from reality and the detail of the conversation merge together. For instance I don't remember what is the correct price of the item since the price of the item differ from my dream and real world. The price of the item may be 2000 or 1800 , which one is it?

There are also various details which merge together.

After working with a coworker on some odd issues, I finally decided to check on the actual ticket he needed assistance with.

From now on, we will optimize our HTML for aesthetic appeal in Chrome's dev tools. display:none is verboten.

Sometimes I wonder if I've had a stroke or if I've died and am in purgatory.

Got a ++ within 10 seconds of posting!

Been at it inconsistently for two weeks and a few days now. Hitting approx 30 wpm with dvorak! Starting to slowly integrate it into my daily work. I'm on my way to becoming ambitextrous. 😎

Hey guys
I'm starting my first programming intern job in a week.
It's a big company and have many projects and they liked me because I knew some Java from college.

I obviously have no industry Java experience but am looking to review the book used in my class & the projects I did.

I'm still kinda nervous a little cuz I don't have any idea what it's going to be like.

What could be advised to do while waiting a week? Any good Java brush up idea

Thanks

Started off in College learning the basic Java and C#. That was enough to land my first internship, during that internship I'd go home each night and teach myself whatever I needed to know to get through the next day.

Within a year I became the project lead on an API for my groups application.

1. Fake it till you make it.
2. Act like you've been there before.
3. Never stop learning.

Fuck tech led organisations.

I understand there are some limitations and a different way to look at things.

But fuck those product leaders who just want a stage to talk but will start shivering as soon they have to talk to their tech counterpart.

Ugh! This is annoying.

My Sr. Director has a great mind set but everyone is taking him down and he isn't getting as much support from his tech counterparts as much as he should.

Sending a request to link accounts.
Response: {
errorCode: 200009,
errorMessage: 'Accounts Linked'
}

Wait what? So I checked the docs and this is actually how it is supposed to work... >_<

We came across a bug that only manifested itself in Edge if, and only if, the developer console was closed. Which we only discovered once it went live since during testing we always had the console open to monitor things... D:

I've been meaning to sign up on dev.to for a while now.
Finally started the sign up process. They require you to agree to follow their code of conduct which states that they will prioritize empowering the marginalized communities and in order to do that they will *not* act on complaints of reverse-isms. Reverse (sexism | racism), cisphobia, etc.
Am I the only one who thinks that this is wrong? I'm all for empowering people, tolerance and not getting trolled but outrightly rejecting complaints on topics that seem politically incorrect sounds superfluous to me. Am I interpreting something wrong? (I hope I am because in general I find the community to be nice and positive)

Funnily enough my initial experience with Java at uni dampened my enthusiasm for programming I had harboured as a kid. Discontinued the course and studied something else. Cue three years later; took an elective programming in C and some other coding subjects and fell in love with coding. Ended up writing code for my bachelor thesis, lots of free time coding, teaching the elective I had taken only a year before, and now it's my job and I love it. :)

Scott Meyers.
He's just amazing. The way he thinks, he teaches, is absolutely wonderful. He's inspired me on many occasions.

Herb Sutter.
Absolute beast of a programmer. His guru of the week series is a simple but effective way to communicate concepts and techniques in a language.

There are a lot more - Scott Hanselman, Martin Fowler, Andrew Koenig, Andrei Alexandrescu, Barabara Moo and many more.
They remind me of why I chose programming. It wasn't for money or fame, just to solve puzzles in cool ways. It's the way you can take a simple concept and apply it to great effect that brings me joy and these people do it relentlessly.

Did I get old or did I just finish plucking all the low hanging fruit?

When I started on a programming journey about a decade ago everything feel exciting and I learn a lot of things per day (variable,loop,method,class,---etc)

Now a decade later I am more concern with the overall system design,algorithms usage (Big O Notation),how reliable the system it,and how the configurations are set up and how easy is it to change them.

I now notice that I don't really learn anything learn new.Everything feel the same.

Want redundancy? Use more server

Want faster performance? Make a parallel system.

Want program to run on low end device? Think about how memory and storage will be used in system.

Is this a stage everyone went through like puberty? or I am just having a mid life crisis?

PS : I haven't even reach 30 yet but I feel too old.

Thought this would be relevant 😆
Source: in the picture, though I don't think that's the oc

Still waiting for that confirmation email. Multiple resends and still nothing. My inbox has nothing from devrant. Now I can't ++. I want to ++. Seems like I can't have anything I want at all.
.
.
.
.

That's old. I deleted and created my account again but the rant was still saved so I thought why not start with it.