Our programming teacher had a surgery on his left eye and will not be able to do the lessons with us. Guess what the subject of the email he sent us was.

"I can't C#."
He made a pun about his fucking health status, alright then.

Our CTO has been told, this morning by management, that our development department is "too quiet" and that it's spoiling "the atmosphere" of the office space.

So we've ordered mechanical keyboards.

This code review gave me eye cancer.

So, first of all, let me apologize to anyone impacted by eye cancer, if that really is a thing... because that sounds absolutely horrible. But, believe me, this code was absolutely horrible, too.

I was asked to code review another team's script. I don't like reviewing code from other teams, as I'm pretty "intense" and a nit-picker -- my own team knows and expects this, but I tend to really piss off other people who don't expect my level of input on "what I really think" about their code...

So, I get this script to review. It's over 200 lines of bash (so right away, it's fair game for a boilerplate "this should be re-written in python" or similar reply)... but I dive in to see what they sent.

My eyes.

My eyes.

MY EYES.

So, I certainly cannot violate IP rules and post any of the actual code here (be thankful - be very thankful), but let me just say, I think it may be the worst code I've ever seen. And I've been coding and code-reviewing for upwards of 30 years now. And I've seen a LOT of bad code...

I imagine the author of this script was a rebellious teenager who found the google shell scripting style guide and screamed "YOU'RE NOT MY REAL DAD!" at it and then set out to flagrantly violate every single rule and suggestion in the most dramatic ways possible.

Then they found every other style guide they could, and violated all THOSE rules, too. Just because they were there.

Within the same script... within the SAME CODE BLOCK... 2-space indentation... 4-space indentation... 8-space indentation... TAB indentation... and (just to be complete) NO indentation (entire blocks of code within another function of conditional block, all left-justified, no indentation at all).

lowercase variable/function names, UPPERCASE names, underscore_separated_names, CamelCase names, and every permutation of those as well.

Comments? Not a single one to be found, aside from a 4-line stanza at the top, containing a brief description of that the script did and (to their shame), the name of the author. There were, however, ENTIRE BLOCKS of code commented out.

[ In the examples below, I've replaced indentation spacing with '-', as I couldn't get devrant to format the indentation in a way to suitably share my pain otherwise... ]

Within just a few lines of one another, functions defined as...

function somefunction {
----stuff
}

Another_Function() {
------------stuff
}

There were conditionals blocks in various forms, indentation be damned...

if [ ... ]; then
--stuff
fi

if [ ... ]
--then
----some_stuff
fi

if [ ... ]
then
----something
something_else
--another_thing
fi

And brilliantly un-reachable code blocks, like:

if [ -z "$SOME_VAR" ]; then
--SOME_VAR="blah"
fi

if [ -z "$SOME_VAR" ]
----then
----SOME_VAR="foo"
fi

if [ -z "$SOME_VAR" ]
--then
--echo "SOME_VAR must be set"
fi

Do you remember the classic "demo" programs people used to distribute (like back in the 90s) -- where the program had no real purpose other than to demonstrate various graphics, just for the sake of demonstrating graphics techniques? Or some of those really bad photo slideshows, were the person making the slideshow used EVERY transition possible (slide, wipe, cross-fade, shapes, spins, on and on)? All just for the sake of "showing off" what they could do with the software? I honestly felt like I was looking at some kind of perverse shell-script demo, where the author was trying to use every possible style or obscure syntax possible, just to do it.

But this was PRODUCTION CODE.

There was absolutely no consistency, even within 1-2 adjacent lines. There is no way to maintain this. It's nearly impossible even understand what it's trying to do. It was just pure insanity. Lines and lines of insanity.

I picture the author of this code as some sort of hybrid hipster-artist-goth-mental-patient, chain-smoking clove cigarettes in their office, flinging their own poo at their monitor, frothing at the mouth and screaming "I CODE MY TRUTH! THIS CODE IS MY ART! IT WILL NOT CONFORM TO YOUR WORLDLY STANDARDS!"

I gave up after the first 100 lines.

Gave up.

I washed my eyes out with bleach.

Then I contacted my HR hotline to see if our medical insurance covers eye cancer.

Programmer at an eye test...

Loved the first project at the university. Your game had to load a map from txt file and create a labirynth with a player inside. It shoud include a bird's eye view and FPS-like - all using only console characters. There were some bonus points - for example for animation or built-in map editor. (language was C)

I thought i'd see what the avatars look like with different color eyes.
I personally like red. It really brings out the undying hatred I have for my peers.

Happy Thanksgiving! Thank you for waiting for this new release of avatar items! We have new pets, new computers, new eye wear, some fun shirts and a special treat for our #1 ranter @linuxxx. The required ++ pts for these are a little higher than normal to reward the dedicated people who have helped support and build this community over the last few years. Thank you all!

Boss: Hey build me a server.
Me: OK. How much storage.
Boss: IDK.
Me: How many processors?
Boss: IDK.
Me: How much RAM?
Boss: IDK.
Me: 1U or 2U or bigger?
Boss: IDK
Me: What’s it for.
Boss: [Program]
Me: How many concurrent connections?
Boss: IDK.
Me: Budget?
Boss: IDK.
Me: *eye twitch* oooooookkkkkk

I'm graduating today! loads of pictures will be taken today AND GUESS WHO JUST WOKE UP WITH A BIG MOTHERFUCKING RED INFECTED EYE FOR THE FIRST TIME OF HIS ENTIRE FATHERFUCKING LIFE. YES MOTHERFUCKING YES IT'S ME FUCKING COCK SUCKERS FUUUUUUUUUUU 😭😡

F.lux to keep me going all night long.
Without eye strain :)

We're not a family of devs. So the situation may seem weird to them.

My sister saw me doing the rubber duck debugging and venting my programming frustration with an innocent little duck. Eye-to-eye. And now, she thinks i'm in need of serious help.

Friend: "You are good with computers right?"
Me: "Yes...."
Friend: "Can you put an eye on my computer? Mint crash at every startup"
Me: (Oh Linux! For this time ok) "Yeah, show me"

My friend open the pc...
Pc: "KERNEL PAAAAANIC!"
Me: ".... WTF!?"
Friend: "Can you repair this?"
Me: (shit.)

That was a long day...
(My friend closed the lid without the drivers and then the pc from the standby did not wake up correctly)

Is there a natural cure for eye cancer?

Interviewer asked me how to find the best move in Tic Tac Toe game.

We discussed several ideas and ended up playing Tic Tac Toe for nearly 10 minutes.

It turns out HR was keeping an eye and they had to interrupt.

TLDR; funny revenge prank from my manager

So yesterday (April 2) I decided to prank my manager about me resigning (I've been working with them for 4 years) I wrote a legit looking resignation letter. (No signature) and at the back page it has a small font "April fools".

I asked my junior to help putting it on my managers desk since I was working from home. When my manager saw it he immediately had a meeting with my technical lead. he didnt notice the april fools at the back so I sent him a short email to look at the back and he laughed.

Come today, I recieved an email from our it team with the subject "POST RESIGNATION PROCEDURES FOR JUNNERS". It has some legit looking contents as well as a hyperlInk for a resignation checklist.

It felt like im having a mini heart attack since I thought it was legit. When I opened the hyperlink I was shocked.

I love my job 😂

Me: may I have this dance?
Girl: no thank you.
Me: sudo may I have this dance?
Girl: o_O

Remember the rule of 20:
After every 20 mins, look 20 feets away, for 20 seconds.

No eye issues in the future.

!rant
My cousin on 12 was watching me edit my site and asked if he can do it too.

Two hours later he comes running to me with a twinkle in his eye to show of his creation. He made a simple html site with buttons and checkboxes and what not.

Now he is learning JS and getting frustrated because it is not adding HTML snippets dynamically...

I am a proud brother :]

Me: Discovered a bug during testing, but I have no idea what's causing it yet.

Project manager: Can you give me an ETA on when the fix will be done?

Me: <eye twitches>

Porting is fun...
*Left eye twitches*

Dev: "What if the user has more than 100 entries? How would that display?"
UX: "They won't ever have that many"
Dev: "But what if they do?"
UX: "They won't."

(spoiler: they do)

My laptop just took a full cup of coffee and didn't blink an eye.

Thank god for spill resistant stuff that works.

Unfortunately I now how to make a new coffee, so it's not all good news.

I currently have the best problem ever:

Our client applications and APIs are so fast, users are complaining they don't notice that the UI changed in between the time they clicked a button and their eye drifts to the adjacent component. So now we're having to build visual cues to account for that.

#KillingIt

It's not a myth ! 😂

Hi guys. This is my first ever post so just wanted to introduce myself and say hi. It's really nice to be a part of your community and I will look forward to laughing my @ss of at all your posts.

Here is a pic of my coding/ gaming set up for your viewing pleasure.

See you in the comments 😊
Rich

First day on new job. Hardware guy comes to my office, says "Hi, here is your computer" (no eye contact) and leaves a pile of boxes on the floor.

A few hours later I finished building the computer from scratch lol.
Not sure if it was some kind of test or just him being weird 😂

Student approaches recruitment table
Student points to cheap pen giveaway
Student stares at me
Student maintains eye contact until I uncomfortably ask "Can I help you?"
Student: "I like your pens"
(Awkward pause. I expected him to introduce himself or ask for a pen)
Me: "Uh, would you like one?"
(Student nods vigorously, says nothing)
Me: "here you go"
(Student walks away wordlessly)

Career fairs..

Warning: the following image may cause severe eye damage and temporary autism. Viewer discretion is advised!

Git alias

fuckthat=reset --hard

Because it's easier on the eye.

10 minutes of eye rest every hour. Believe me, your eyes will thank you after 6 hours.

When ever someone asks me to fix their PC I ask them to sit down next to me so I can show them how I did it. First thing I do is open up Google search the problem then look them dead in the eye and smile 😂😂😂. I Then proceed to implement the fix from the first page of results. I don't get many repeat requests... I'm Such a passive cunt.😂😂😂

teacher - gives a lecture about Java Naming Conventions...

Opens Notepad, ( he doesn't use an IDE, when I asked him he told he haven't worked on a IDE before )

and does this

public int user_account_number;

me - *wtf*

thanks God he didn't mess up with the braces and indentation otherwise I would have got eye cancer( already the white theme of notepad was causing nausea)

I mixed coffee types today... My eye is twitching and my office is spotless... And I started a program to monitor all our apps at all times... We'll see if it works in the morning 😂

That bitch....

- Run a Win10 in a VM
- Have >20GB of free space on host
- W10 decides to download updates
- your host OS runs out of free space
- VM gets paused due to lack of free space

20GB for an update.. seriously..

seriously...

I mean..

Seriously....

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME????
*eye twitching*

Haha, I got laser eye surgery, good bye myopia, good bye glasses, wooooooohoooo !!!

The public seems to be worried a lot on the Facebook "data breach" yet doesn't bat an eye on a bigger website that has already been selling private data for more than a decade.

Google

My brain is melting.

6 hours straight of just Refactoring without a break.

Technical debt is real, it is a bitch, and so are clients to expect to 'see' changes every week.

Boss tells me we need to balance doing work on things the client can play with and the backend code that does it all... 😧ok....

'TODO: remove sample return and connect to backen' As far as the eye can see.

Why didn't I comment my code on Friday...

Fucking monitors
my eyes getting weak, i have to wear glasses while working with computers

IT head ruined the company. The whole product is delayed, no single feature is working.

As I hurt his ego 6 months ago by pinpointing his fault. He kept me out of the whole project and handed over to my juniors.

The investor has spent lots of money and they are demanding work.

Now, he avoids eye contact as possible. Don't know how I should feel.

Be happy for "told you so!" or be sad that we have to look for another job.

do you have a GREAT eye for design?!

can you write a bubble sort algorithm in binary?!

do you know native, desktop, embedded, AND web programming languages?!

do you know you can go fuck yourselves?!

good luck unicorn searching 🤡 companies. there is no human that can do all of those on a level that you want. but, go ahead and set yourself up for failure. i'll remain firmly grounded on planet earth 🌎

Any eyedropper tool on linux that works in 2 click or shortest amount possible? Like instant eye dropper tool on windows, I don’t need stupid pallete on the color picker, I just want to grab the color asap with little effort

Meeting with an investor who brought two tech advisors.
Advisor A: you should consider using php.
Me: why?
Advisor B: node.js is older.
Me: :|

You can argue about advantages/disadvantages, but how the fuck can you argue with a fucking timeline?!

Microsoft Edge: "We support modern Web technologies."

Relax junior LOL

Got eye problems and I have to see a doctor today. Told my boss I can't see myself going to work today. I think he got the message.

People should understand that the eye retina can't see a difference between 4k and 1080p on 5" phone

Oh now he tells me "My 4k phone looks like my TV!!!!!" as if TVs had high PPI screens >.>
10/10

A friend asked if I could take a look at the function, which he wrote, to see if two trees are equal.

The chat conversation:

F: I sent code.
Me: *put eye on "flag and && true"
F: Hey?
F: You are there?
F: All right?!

A few hours later...

Me: Each time this function is executed, a programmer dies. Goodbye.

And so it's over.

Me: 15 years of experience in AWS, DevOps, Architecture, and Security. Current title: "Senior DevOps Manager"

Recruiter: "There are a lot of opportunities, but this one caught my eye, and I thought you'd be interested... Junior Frontend Developer"

If you want to do your job, at least do it half way well. Recruiters can suck, but most are better than that.

When will you fucking give up! ლಠ益ಠ)ლ

Question: I'd like to choose a new distro for my surface.

Although I do shitloads of terminal stuff, I'm an eye candy lover. Debian based please :)

I can deal with problems myself if they occur.

Anyone any ideas? (KDE neon/kubuntu/nitrux/mint have already been tried)

!rant

Do you ever find yourself proudly staring at your beautiful code, forgetting everything else and suddenly noticing you've been at it for far too long?

I hate cliched lines in office.

When someone I respect leaves the company I don't say "Good luck for your future. Keep in touch". I shake hands, look them in the eye and say "It's been an honor"

On a birthday I don't say "Happy Birthday". I say "May you grace the cover of Time magazine" or something else related to their aspirations.

I find it quite entertaining how "psychologists" think that people with autism/Asperger have difficulty making eye contact in general. Whenever I talk to fellow engineers, people that I like talking to and feel comfortable with, I look them in the eyes at pretty much the same rate as a regular person would. But the thing is.. looking someone in the eyes expresses interest!

I’m not going to “automate” us out of a job ! *eye roll* We just shouldn’t be doing things a computer can do AND do faster/more accurately!

I had joined devRant last month. And one of the most eye-catching and impressing thing which I found here is different crazy, funny and humorously technical usernames.

Comment down the meaning of username.

Trying to run a process on each CPU thread in our vps only to find that our vps has just one CPU and no multi threading. :/

We need an upgrade.

Who ever prefixes their table names like this should be sentenced to death.

tbltable_name or tbltablename

Is that some kind of sadistic fetish or something.

My eye can’t fucking pinpoint the first letter, thus I can’t easily find the table. I have seen it so many times!!! This trend has to STOOOP.

Prefix it tbl_table_name for all i care ffs.

Google's slogan is (was?) "don't be evil" but all of their new MD apps are blindingly white light themes!

Retinas?, no don't need them. Thanks Google.

Boss asked hey can you build me out a site?...Me ...sure got the PSD for the site?...Boss...no just build something out...Me...okayyyy....I build out a site...Boss...I don't really like the design...Me... ....*internal eye roll because I'm not a designer*

when the moon hits your eye
like a big pizza pie,
that's amore

when a file you don't need
exceeds 50mb,
.gitignore

Fuck Apple right in the eye hole for trying (and probably succeeding) to normalize phone pricing at hundreds of dollars above the current market. This is going to make Android OEMs follow suit, and the world gets a little shittier for everyone.

Frigging hell, the worse part of solo projects is being forced to code back and front end.. My eye can only see consoles :(

.me {
thesis: absolute;
sleep: none;
eye-bags: #000;
}

Some actual company names I see out of the corner of my eye that make me think of Mr. ROBOT
Iron Mountain : Steel Mountain
Allstate : Allsafe

Fuck me in the eye...

2 years into full time development and I still can't get myself to work on a side project.

Am I alone ????

So my windows VM decided to start running slow and bogging down the host system...

Decided to drop it down to just 2 cores, 2GB of RAM and 1GB of VRAM and now it's running smoother than when it had 4 cores, 8GB RAM and 3GB of VRAM...

I love computers *Left eye twitches*

105 pages of information security policy to read through before getting through onboarding that could have been summarized as: "This is 2022. Don't be an idiot."

Also 40 pages of code of conduct that could have been summarized thusly: "This is 2022. Everyone is offended by everything. Shut your cakehole, put your head down, don't make eye contact, and just do your job."

I love Friday :D

Let's learn something new
P.S. look on the comments, that's something eye opener

It’s either he’s crazy, short circuiting or one eye is fake

meet the new PM
go to shake his hand
he throws a "fist bump"
i change to "first bump"
he changes to hand shake...
can already tell that we will not see eye to eye in many things...

Can I claim Spotify on expenses?

Ever got so frustrated you got the Forrest Whitaker eye?

Learned a new word here in devRant: sleep code.

Code that's is written where you hardly can get an eye open.

Crazy shit 😵

Edit: Yeah, I count sleep code as one word (or phrase if this will satisfy you before commenting)

So, 2 weeks ago I started my new job at a company I had my eye on for almost a year, feeling super blessed because after leaving my previous job with such a toxic work environment, it is so refreshing to be around new people who actually value you. I’m so excited to learn new skills and push myself towards the role I was dreaming of since university. :-)

!rant

“Are you drinking my soda?”
“Statute of limitations!”
“Did you know in some countries there’s a statute of limitations on murder?”
“And?”
“And that means sometimes it can run out.”
“And?”
“And that means you can’t be tried for the crime.”
“Are you threatening me?”
“What? No. Why?”
*gestures at soda* “You literally told me that after I took your soda.”
“Oh! Shit. You mentioned statute of limitations, _that_ was the connection, it wasn’t a response to you stealing my soda.”
“You looked me right in the eye and told me that some countries have a statute of limitations on murder.”
“I looked you in the eye because we were having a conversation!”

My cable art, keeping it minimal. Beauty lies in the eye of the beholder.

*wild LinkedIn notification appears*

>Opens LinkedIn
>Sees a video of dogs being dogs
>Reads caption something along the lines of "team work and dedication helps the universe to fight global warming and terrorism "
>*Eye rolls*

So went to Starbuck to get a frappaccino then I realised I forgot to commit my project. I whipped out my mbp to fire that shit off. It was at that moment I realised ouuuh fuuckkk I'm one of those people now 😐 needless to say I bowed my head in shame and left without making eye contact with anyone....

It is 10th December, but this "issue" was not fixed in 2 weeks (as screen says, happened 25th November). Noone bats an eye.

My family thinks I'm the tech nerd that can basically solve anything related to technical stuff within a blink of an eye.
I'm just better at googling than them mostly

So... after a vision test on a whim, it turned out I needed glasses.

Turns out sitting in front of a screen all day did actually mess my eyes up 😂

Luckily I only need them for using the computer for extended periods of time, so managed to run them through my company as an expense.

We have a 12pm meeting every Wednesday. I asked: Why is our 11/30 meeting at noon?

A 27" monitor with a 1080p resolution is a match made in hell. Oh the eye bleach. (At home I got 30" with 2k or 1440p resolution. Much better viewing experience.)

I'm having my first day in the office in the new job after two week of remote work. I think I will prefer working from home office definitly (even though the office coffee machine is nice).

It doesn't help that the internet connection in the office is 100 Mbit and at home I have 1 Gbit.

Am I a developer or a professional Googler?

Finally customized gnome to osx like theme, but ouch light theme hurts my eye! Any other suggestion?

it's been a week since i've been tasked with a project.

My eye bags are gucci now!

Sales person: I hope this mail meets you well.

How the mail meets me:

Windows errors at the London eye 😂

Me: *builds new state machine* Ok this makes adding new instance states easier, should also make enemy AI a million times easier!

Me after trying to do enemy AI: FUCKING CUNT! This system is a piece of fucking shit for AI, fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck, etc

I think this will be harder than expected bois!

*Eye twitches*

starting to really get sick of working 12 hour days and nothing to show for it

fucking months go by in the blink of an eye

"The role: You will be designing and building responsive emails on a daily basis using HTML5/ CSS3/JavaScript"

Errrrrrrmmmm...

Started to redesign my wifes website into grid-layout with SASS. It is fun and I save a lot of markup HTML.
I try to keep the green theme, but I realy suck at design... I just have no eye for colors. I rather would keep everything white and grey...

I use to have a comic online. It wasn't popular or profitable, but I loved every minute of working on it, so it remains my favorite project of all time.

I know that barely qualifies as a 'dev' project, but... it's what was in my heart so shut up THERE'S SOMETHING IN MY EYE

Me: oh boy i have so much fun stuff planned for this weekend, better get my work done before it

My immune system: here have this flu with some pink eye on top

I'm the bone of my project
Steel is my brain and fire is my eye
I have created over a thousand bugs
Unknown to people, Solve by death.
Have withstood pain to create many function
Yet, those bugs will never be solved
So as I pray, Unlimited Hope Works

self eye gouging occurs

Come into work, 5 of our 18 employees have been fired. The boss stares at you with a gleam in his eye. This makes me want to program incredibly technical shizzle. Of course it does. There's nothing like a supportive work life balance :/

Just need one more eye and I'll be all set.

And just when I was having a shut eye, my mom woke me up, because WiFi wasn't working..😒

> Half asleep
> No coffee

seeing all these real life computer setups and desktops makes me drool. @dfox and @trogus , mind if i suggest creating a tab or place to share this exquisite computer porn ?

That thing has got an eye of fish.Any guess what it is called?
.
.
.
Welp,It is🐠
.
.
.

Fish Eye Raspberry Pi Camera

I was skimming a FedEx page to track a shipment when out of the corner of my eye I see “Watch list” and almost had a merry little panic attack because I apparently did not get the requisite amount of sleep for rational thought.

FedEx, our ideas of watch list are very different.

I went outside to throw something into the garbage bin. I threw my bag in there and caught movement with the side of my eye in the bin. Something in the bin was moving! It freaked me out until I realized it was a squirrel.

Well I hope I scared the shit outta him too!

Day 3 : without seeing a monitor and programming.
I caught an eye infection and stopped my world and I could literally do nothing but sit tight. I have unfinished tasks but health is imprortant.

I think my boss hates me 🤭 she accepted my meeting invite, I made eye contact with her on my way to the meeting room, she just looked up and then back down. Now here I am, been waiting for her to show up for 10 minutes 🙃

I am so fucking happy with the windows October update!

Never thought I'd be able to say the stable windows 10 builds are more unstable and prone to fatal errors than a rolling release Linux distro, now if only more Devs would port there fucking software to Linux *eye twitches*

"Drawing is speaking to the eye; talking is painting to the ear." - Joseph Joubert

google eye susan of the day

A previous colleague of mine had plenty of years in the industry as a Java developer, but somehow still had absolutely no idea what he was doing. We used to send screenshots of his PRs to each other just to give our eye balls something to roll about - I have never seen anything like it, anywhere.

After multiple warnings of never delivering a single thing he eventually "voluntarily" left the company. He now works at a school teaching programming to students. The circle is complete.

I have a confession to make.. I have sin.. after 8 years of coding in the dark I've joined the light..

How did this happen? Well whenever I would decide to change my dark theme to another dark theme in VSCode, normally I would arrive at the light themes in the list, and for some reason the reading felt more pleasing to my eyes, so I started researching as to whats the best theme for the eye, and why does the light theme feel "more right"?

So it turns out that there isn't any difference for the eye, but that maybe because of the white paper black letters the eye finds it easier to focus on the letters rather than visa versa.

And here I am coding in the light for a month now and it feels great I guess?
Keep in mind I was one of those that would see light theme users as mudbloods and muggles. But I can't deny that the light theme + blue filter makes my eyes more rested.

it was not a technical interview.
just screening.

guy: tell me smth about redis.

me: key value, in memory storage.

guy: more

me: umm, the concept is similar to localStorage in browsers, key value storage, kinda in memory.

guy: so we use redis in browsers?

me: no, I mean the high level concept is similar.

guy: (internally: stupid, fail).

Do any of you guys have eye strain? I worked on a project for like 6 hours day before yesterday and have been having severe we strain since then. Haven't touched my laptop since. My doctor says my eyes are good, just need to follow the 20/20/20 rule, which is, work for 20 minutes, look at an object 20 feet away for 20 seconds, and repeat.

Do any of you guys have eye strain? Hope many hours do you clock on a PC? What do you do to minimize the strain on your eyes? Do you ever fear you'll go blind?

I have so severe eye strain it gives me migraines 😥

Doing the work you don't love just to survive and money. Whole of today I had headache due to eye strain working on a project without regular breaks.

You know what's awkward? Saying "hello" in response to someone who's actually just on the phone.

You know what's worse?

Seeing the phone in their hand, and knowing they are on the phone, but they turn their head to you, make direct eye contact, and THEN say "hey".

What are you supposed to do? It's awkward either way.

"Design is more than just a few tricks to the eye. It’s a few tricks to the brain." - Neville Brody

You never know pain untill your website redirect is working on edge and not chrome... Yet it's all google hosted...

*Eye twitches*

Just spent the last 6 months searching for why is my left eye blurry. Finally found out today.

If there is a God, could you please make humanity 2.0 a bit more debugger friendy?

MetaRant - The avatar items cost too many points!
At least at this level of activity within the community.

I'll never get that eye-patch.....

Giving the stink-eye to the stakeholder who scheduled an important meeting when I’m out on PTO 😒😑😠 And my calendar had the day blocked off for weeks. Stakeholder probably doesn’t want me there because I’ll just tell them their “solutions” aren’t actually solutions.

I was going crazy for not understanding it.
I went to binary to decimal converters.
I tried applying my own messed up logic.
I was about to post a rage rant.
Now i realized how it works.. fml

And yes, i took a picture of my monitor, enjoy eye cancer :)

I mean, impossible for who? For someone working 9-5 without procrastination, sure there are.
I have been a student and a procrastinator most of my life, so yeah, a 40 hour week's work is possible in two days with minimum sleep.
Also done massive projects in a week's time. If you know what you're doing, it's not that impossible.

Although, I find working with others almost impossible in some occasions, specially where you don't see eye to eye despite however much you try. (time-wise, speaking)

I always read the full job description whenever there's a job hiring.

I have a keen eye in some job description that this company is a red flag.

"Must have 4 years of experience in Blazor or other related web development"

"Be a multitasker"
"Must have experience in frontend web development using Figma or other prototyping tools"

"...keep an eye on your careers page maybe another opportunity will come up". Nah. Fuck you

WTF... so I have one eye that has really poor vision but still usable if I really try, the stuff I see through it becomes very wavy like looking through water...

But now all black text on my monitor... looks bold...

Ladies and Gentlemen,
Has someone of you created a sexy looking gallery for the web and maybe got it on github to let me throw an eye on it?
It would be sooooo fucking nice!

After I received my laser eye surgery, I knew it would become painful after the effect of anesthesia would decrease so I got painkillers in advance.

It was nimesulide.

Even in 2008 ISDB raised a concern about the liver damage and asked for it to be withdrawn worldwide, but I didn't knew it.

So the terrible pain started and I took the pill. Just. One. Pill.

This all started in like fifteen minutes. Eye pain won't go away, but it didn't mattered anymore as I felt really terrible. I never experienced that kind of feeling before and I don't even know how to describe it. It felt like a terrible sensation inside my stomach mixed with an urge to vomit. "This is probably what a liver failure feels like. This is it, I'm going do die here", I remember thinking about as I collapsed.

This whole incident led to an investigation about why the doctors "forgot" to give me proper eye anesthesia drops. This got several doctors fired.

This all got me really interested in how different medications work. I started casually reading popular medical literature and when my depression came, I was prepared, as much as you can even get prepared to a mental disorder.

The thing that probably nearly killed me helped me not to lose my sanity later.

I'm curious, what was the most ridiculously otherworldly, the least understandable, eye-opening code you have every seen?

BUT, I mean that in a good way. And what did you learn from it?

For me personally, I would probably say some of the c++ stdlib implementations. Just totally not English in some places. I mean seriously, sometimes asm is more readable than c++

I fucking hate it when i give someone my phone and the first thing they do is to increase my screen brightness, deactivate eye care mood and start viewing my pictures 😡😡😡😡😡😠😠

Used to create a web app that is practical and usable in a hackathon. Lost badly due to bad presentation, while the winners only created gimmick stuff, good for the eye, unusable but they had better presentation. Grrrr!

When people post "MBA" on their title like, "John Smith MBA" I have an IMMEDIATE eye roll 🙄.

!rant
I have been lurking around here for about a month. Finally decided to write about how devRant motivates me. Whenever I read stuff I don't understand it makes me realize I've got so much more to learn. Happy new year :)

When I am on Computer. I like the room to be dark minimum to no sunlight's and cool. That's why I hate my work environment. The room is so fucken bright. Damn those eye strain.

It's funny to me that the eye patch is so expensive. It increases by whole factor of 10.

First experience with a PC....

It would have been the Commodore64 and those giant 5.25" floppies, ah those were the days with CRT TV's.

Watching a friend load up Tetris on that big screen was eye opening for a 8-9 Year old.

An eye-for-eye and tooth-for-tooth would lead to a world of the blind and toothless.

OpenCV based face / eye recognition implemented in a discord bot.

I haven't been able to work on the computer without getting a headache very soon after for almost 2 weeks straight now.

I presume I have grown a sensitivity to bright light, stemming from the time I dimmed my phone all the way about 5 months ago and never set it back until just now.

In my classes I will get random headaches that hurt like heck and make me feel groggy, making me unable to focus at all. And while doing computer work, I'll get the same thing.

I've tried getting my eyes checked again, and got new glasses about a week ago - still no help.

Prior to this incident I was working hard on a volunteer project with a small team. Since then my progress and commits have dwindled greatly, and I feel stressed out because I can't do what i want to do without hurting and feeling like absolute shit!

I'm currently trying to get my eyes used to bright lights again by setting things like my phone screen to a brighter setting, changing some dead light bulbs in different rooms of the house, and getting more involved outside.

I hope this goes away soon - I don't want to have this stupid headache every time I go to code or work in class.

Fantasy and Sci-Fi,
Math and theoretical CS,
Graffiti (this one is just a sketch tho),
Wandering around (for long time and distances),
Bike riding (before someone steal it),
Sky watching (with naked eye)
and I have other not-so-popular habits that I have, but I don't know if they are considered geek.

#Apple #FaceID
Yet another step towards the God's eye in Fast & Furious. Since it requires a 360 scan of a face, CIA just requires a photo to find anyone in the planet who's using an iPhone X [Stands for Expensive]. There's a reason why Apple ditched the fingerprint sensor.
RIP #Privacy 😶

Django devs, prepare your eye bleach:

(I love that this is possible, but I really don't trust myself to wield the power of making things mutable at will...)

Fav part of working from home?

Probably nothing.

- Being within eye-shot of my wife.
Wife: "Since your home just sitting there, could you clean the windows?"
Me: "I can't, busy."
Wife: "You're just sitting there clicking, that's not working. You think *I* sit around all day!? Let me tell you what I do all day for you and your children <blah blah blah>.. I ask you to do *one* thing around here, only *one*, and you can't do that! "

I'll inevitably will be doing anything except coding.

- Being within eye-shot of my daughter
H: "Daddy, can you play this game with me?"
<Hmmm...SharePoint or Candyland?>
Me: "Alright baby, let's play Candyland!"

Actually, being home with my girls would be pretty awesome. :)

Sitting with two of my friends

Me: You ever get a random eye ache? But like you actual eye not like that migraine behind it

Friend 1: Yes
Friend 2: Wtf? No

So the other dev knows what I'm on about but the civilian doesn't... interesting

"Gooey" or "gee-you-eye"?

I got a Commodore 64 as a Christmas gift at an age where I was far too young to fully appreciate it. I'd spend hours typing in code from printed magazines. Fell in love with it instantly. Nothing ever worked first time. Loading a game was a chore. It blew my mind. Little tear in my eye now thinking of how my late father and I would spend hours trying to get the beige-bastard to "play ball".

How do you guys take care of your eyes? I've been coding on this uni project since 2 weeks and my eyes have literally turned into fried nuggets. And my head hurts like shredded tacos.

My ophthalmologist prescribed me mild painkillers and anti inflammatory and lubricant eye drops.

This knowledge will be useful to all :)

Hey @dfox, @trogus, the birds on the shoulder are super pimp, but would you be interested in making a parrot? You know, to go along with a Hawaiian shirt, an eye patch, and a pirate hat?

That'd be metal af \m/\m/

As far as mobile games go I am never to interested in or really bother much with some of them. But Honkai Impact 3rd really makes me go woaaah every time I play it. The graphics are absolutely stunning and so is the gameplay. Damned game looks absolutely gorgeous and it makes me think or xbox360 graphics. I do not have a good eye for graphics at all and I am not much of a pc or console gamer. So take that with a grain of salt.

Now all we need is an eye patch to go with those pet birds... 😉

That feeling when the team works so much overtime that one of your colleagues looses sight on an eye and starts wearing sports sun glasses when working to protect his one functioning eye :/

Gonna get some shut eye so I can do an all nighter, but not for code, need to watch the election results. (UK).

I used to have a spiky punk emo hair in my teens. Now I look like a dork with thick framed eye glasses.

Now, a bit eye cancer from german "Bundesregierung"

I don't like laptops, it just doesn't feel the same, too small, keyboard is meh I dunno... I like when the screen is in eye level but keyboard is lower.
Is it just me?
PC with 2/3 displays feels more natural to me.

Watching a video on YouTube that shows: Refactoring and Extract Method features in xcode 9 beta brings a tear to my eye, never thought we will get that basic functionality 😢

This is amazing!

Got some case of heavy eye floaters which can be either a symptom of age or intoxication.

Mine is the latter and I tried to detox with Chlorella algae. Threw in 6 capsules at noon and now it looks like they are nearly gone.

I double checked with an about:blank page, because by looking at bright and even textures I see them all (hence a dark theme is absolutely necessary).

That moment when you're trying your damnedest to concentrate at work but all the info is just going in one eye and out the other ear

Making an efficient design foe large scale is way harder than what meets the eye.

Especially when legacy support is involved.

So there's this bulk messaging app named 100pins, generally used by institutes. And there's the eye sore.

I'm sure all of us have a working back button.

Yeah, fuck all the authentication/authorization framework I build, just access manage resources directly and leak stuff, assign it to wrong accounts and don't even check if they should be able to with that eye shore you call code

"White" Background is killing my eyes..
Please make "Black" as default website background color.
(Common google, atleast make dark theme for all of your apps)
(Who think is a good idea that your google launcher background default color is fucking White, Drop your default bright colorscheme bullshit. Hey you fraeking huge company, stop this trend please.)
(For every designer with dark colorscheme, Thank you for making my life easier.)

Wondering how much will the bitcoin increase in value after this so called Golden Eye.

Having an eye for detail and being annoyed by slight imperfections is extremely annoying at some times.

Yesterday I spent the evening setting up elementary os on my private laptop and I wanted to start coding a new personal project after setting up my IDE.

I ended up spending the evening trying to fix the font of my ZSH terminal which annoyed me so much but was absolutely not blocking any progress. Moral of the story: sometimes you just gotta let go

A Wild 500 Error Appeared :O

Not exactly a dream, but during an internship where I tried to engineer a way to listen in on Bluetooth communications, I went so deep down the rabbit hole that I once half-asleepedly thanked my girlfriend for "keeping an eye on the Bluetooth channels for me, because these little twerps just keep jumping around all over the place"

What did the left eye say to the right eye? Between us, something smells!

Eye fatigue

!rant

So I started learning Golang.
I have to say, I heard the language was good but holy shit!

I got my eye on you implicit interface implementation👀👀

I can't wait to start my first project with a clusterfuck of compositions 🤤

P.s: syntax is kinda weird ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Back home from vacations tomorrow.
It wasn't the best time I had but the thought of returning to daily life is already giving me a stomach ache.

Gotta take care of my little pug too, my anxiety about his partial eye keratosis isn't doing great too. Since the caretakers don't apply eye medication regularly.

There's this fear of my productivity before uni begins, I really don't want my vacation to end with me returning without completing my application.

I've still got a lot to do, anyone want to partner up with me ? I've still got load balancing and failover mechanisms which I have no real-time experience with (excluding api related stuff). I've got a general idea to use nginx.

Late for the "coolest bug" party. But: I helped migrate an organization from proprietary software to FOSS and they found a bug. They were used to being "the only ones who ever encountered this problem" (along with a few hundred other customers). Now we sat down and had a look at the code. Found out that the Perl script didn't pass the value in question to the template. An easy fix but it was an eye opening moment for them of the benefits of the FOSS path.

I Was just improving the login system for one of my projects built
with angularjs and php last night and now this morning I find my one eye has an infection and everything I see with that eye is blurry.fml

I've switched from pycharm to sublime to vsocde in a month, now vim is catching my eye, my mentor will kill me if i started using vim now but it's freaking interesting, will be learning a little bit of vim, will stick to vscode for long term i guess.

Gotta start some #NoLaptopDay trend soon ...
And try to follow it once every two to three weeks 🤔
My eyes are so fucked up rn 😓

suggestions for a high school kid's personal website? i was cool, eye-catching things so even people who aren't hiring to be entertained

nested ternary operators

like/dislike?

I used to hate them cuz I would have to break them apart just to understand them, but now I use ternary operators so much, nesting at least one level is ok for me.

but i'm the only person that reads my code, what's the concensus.. nesting one level bad?

I wouldn't want someone reviewing my code if they couldn't wrap their head around a simple ternary, so if only myself or people more experienced than myself will ever read them, then fuck it, i'm using them

I am on a conference call and I have this system admin saying it is hard to create a Windows virtual server. And so it starts... *eye roll* 😒😒😒

Is it me or Microsoft edge after the update is crazy fast along with features such as saving tabs on the side, it's actually quite appealing to the eye as well..

Press X to JSON

Oh you have a pull request that fixes a bug impacting customers atm? This is a perfect opportunity to write a novel that debates optimal coding practices in the review

Smiling eye twitch

I get so focused that I forget to take breaks to prevent eye strain. At this pace, my eyes will be gone by 40 😭

Let’s just face it. Once the majority of people understand, data science (machine learning on custom behaviour mostly) will be the most disgusted job in the world. Mind boggling! You get shot right between the eye by doing it.

What do you do when there is a surprise deadline tomorrow and the task is big? 🔪🗡️🔥🤷‍♂️🏋️‍♂️

Eye of the tiger
Final countdown
Beat it
It's almost over now
Immigrant song
Turn down for what