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Today we interviewed a _very_ good Angular1 Dev, by chance we showed him the forked ngRouter module we use, after some debate he explained that we were using it incorrectly.. I asked if he'd used it before to which he responded:
"Yeah, I'm the guy who built it"
😅28 -
This shit is real.
Guy comes to my desk.
Guy: Do you know Python?
Me: Yes
Guy: I want a program that reads a CSV containing IP addresses and tells which of them are valid.
Me: Sure thing. Show me the CSV file.
Guy: (Shows the file)
Me: (Writes a small function for checking whether the IP is valid)
Me: Done Here you go.
Guy: You should be using regex.
Me: Why? This is perfect. No need for regex.
Guy: My manager wants a solution using regex only.
Me: Why so?
Guy: I don't know. Can you do it using regex?
Me: Only if you say so. (Stackoverflow. Writes a humongous regex). Done!
Me: Just for curiosity, what is your application?
Guy: I will port it in Java. You see, regex is easy to debug.
Me: Ohhh Yes. I forgot that. Good luck with your regex.22 -
Met a guy in the gym, he asked me to make him an online shop for supplements.
I quickly made a reactive, angular based shop with an admin page.
He paid, I put my name as the creator, it was all good...
...then he removed all legal products and added tons of anabolic steroids for horses in little jars (yes, he even added pro level photos).
I received a call from the police and had to prove that I don't manage his content.14 -
Had my first 'mentor' moment at work today!
Newest guy couldn't figure something out and asked me, slightly nervously, for help.
Suddenly I went into mentorish state, explaining stuff I was doing while fixing it in under a minute!
Felt good 😃8 -
Was helping somebody with a little C++ issue (disclaimer: I know jackshit about C++).
After a while off reading his code and opening a file called "pi.cpp", I noticed something odd...
This guy literally thought is was a good idea to put 81663 fucking decimals of pi in a #define statement :^)
On the screenshot, that weird "noise" on the right is actually a scrollbar of the code itself...
33 -
CEO: "What if we invest in our devs (i.e. trainings, certifications) and they leave?"
CTO: "What if we don't and they stay?"10 -
!dev
It was late night after work I went into Macdonald's take-away:
Me: Can I have a Maharaja Mac Medium Meal with extra regular fries?
Guy: Yes sir, that will XX.XX amt.
Me: Gives him my card.
Guys: So what's the pin?
Me: What??
Guys: The Pin sir.
Me: Are you ok? Who the hell shares a pin with you?
Guy: Sir, we don't have a wireless swipe machine.
Me: So why is it a take-away if I have to come inside and drop my pin anyways?
*Guy looks awkwardly at other employees. :/
I had to finally get out of the vehicle and I took another 15 mins seperately explaining him why cards have a security pin and that the word security isn't a joke before the pin. With this, I might have also slipped in some GDPR cookie policy along with it. and why Microsoft bought GitHub. Good Lad. He will learn.16 -
When our sales guy came by for the 200000000000th time on a day to boast about how good he advised someone on a sales related matter.
Mate, we're Linux engineers and currently trying to fix shit up so why don't you get yourself a cup of shut the fuck up.5 -
!rant
*Theoretical computer scientist is at an interview.*
Interviewer: “Imagine that you are walking down a road and see a house on fire. What do you do?”
CS Guy: “I dial the police and tell them that the house is on fire.”
Interviewer: “Good. Now, imagine that you are walking down the same road, and you see that the same house is not on fire. What do you do?”
CS Guy: *Ponders for a little while.* “I put the house on fire and reduce it to a problem I’ve solved before.”10 -
So basically there's this guy, that work with us that relocated from a small village south of Italy to the city where we have the HQ.
So after a while this guy has found a girlfriend here and after few days we discovered that he never had sex in his life. you may ask, how did you discover it? Yes, basically he disappeared for a week, his phone was off, no slack, no Facebook, nothing. We couldn't contact him in any way. After a week he gave a call to our cto saying sorry about what happened and explaining that he spent the whole week having sex with his girl, day and night. This story has also a good end because he still has his job.27 -
My last internship. When acquiring a new project and having to give an estimate the boss/sales guy always went to the programming team first to ask them what the estimate was and then communicated that back to the client(s).
Asked him why he does that because many companies don't:
Well, the programmers are going to write the software so why the hell would *I* be the one who gives the fucking estimates?
Yes that was a good boss.4 -
(context: I'm from Germany)
The interview was going well, their developer and I had good talks about their stack and projects, I thought I was making a good impression.
Then the HR guy had some Qs. He went through my CV, wanted to know why I left company X and what I did at company Y. He seemed quite impressed with the work experience I already had (the job I was applying for was an entry level position).
For education I had an entry at a university. "courses in computer science". He asked:
"And you finished the Bachelor's degree, right?"
Me, "well, no. I stopped after about 2 semesters. I'm a self-taught developer, all my skills..."
HR guy interrupts
"So, no bachelor's degree?"
"No, but I figured out that I am a much better learner outside of university and that I don't want to go into research."
"Thank you for coming in, we'll get back to you soon."
...
As a conclusion: I learned that german companies are still very traditional and search for employees with degrees. They don't understand how you'd know stuff if you don't have a degree.
Good thing: we also have international companies, which are happy to welcome enthusiastic and self-taught developers.24 -
*Theoretical computer scientist is at an interview.*
Interviewer: “Imagine that you are walking down a road and see a house on fire. What do you do?”
CS Guy: “I dial the police and tell them that the house is on fire.”
Interviewer: “Good. Now, imagine that you are walking down the same road, and you see that the same house is not on fire. What do you do?”
CS Guy: *Ponders for a little while.* “I put the house on fire, thus reducing it to a problem I’ve solved before.”2 -
Boss: "Here's our new intern! He's a bloody genius doing apps! Perfect for that important project that shouldn't be trusted to an intern!!"
*takes intern 9 weeks to do a login view without any real backend*
Turns out the guy couldn't do shit but steal others code and change background color.
Boss: "He wasn't very good..."
Me: "You interview him. How about you bring a developer to the interview next time..."
Boss: "Doesn't matter. The app needs to be done the day after tomorrow, good luck"
Me: "............"
*puts on coffee, cries, programs the app in miserable silence*11 -
Account guy saw me coding...
account guy: so you type a lot.. how can you remember so much??
me: ??
account guy: I mean there is NO LOGIC in what you do, so you must read these things and type them here... you need to remember a lot.. right??
me: ohh... that... well.. I have very good memory :)
p.s. last line was sarcasm12 -
Another funny Linux encounter from my study that I suddenly remembered.
This guy said he didn't want to work with things/services that use Linux because he wanted to support software devs by buying software. I get the idea but yah...
Linux teacher: well then why don't you start with disconnecting from the WiFi. After that drop services like fb and WhatsApp which you use a lot. Also, good luck in the dev world as you're mooost probably going to encounter Linux and for being able to finish this study you'll need to succeed on Linux classes as well!
He just sat there like 'help'. A lot of fellow students were giggling as well.
Really though, my Linux teacher was an awesome young guy!11 -
Met a guy who uses linux as his main os, told me stuff about setting up i3, powerline, git.
Then I woke up, good dreams
Edit; I don’t really have any friends close to me to talk about these stuff (some lives in different provinces)15 -
So i sent my bill to the client yesterday and:
C: the amount is too high i can’t pay this
M: but you validate the number of working days
C: but the amount is huge ... nevermind i’ll pay you because you are good guy
M: ...6 -
Never worked for this guy, just saw it someone else's feed and thought it would be appropriate here. This is not leadership. This is bullying and stomping on people in a vulnerable situation which most likely has very little to do with their work ethic and more to do with company health. Yea, definitely elevate yourself and be that A+ person for you. Not for assholes like this. A good leader would empathize and provide resources for advancement and transformation to roles that are more aligned to the current environment.
24 -
PM: 2 months? no thats way too long, do it in 1.
Director: I had a chat with someone else who doesn't work on this team, he says that developer you complained about is a good guy and we should keep him on the team.
Business: No, we don't have time for tech debt, lets build these new features as quick as possible and lets see where we are.
everyone: WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT CRASHED AGAIN??? THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE6 -
A guy who doesn't work on our project anymore, but still checks on us regularly just did this:
- reported a bug
- started explaining what's causing the issue
- realised the problem was in a piece of code written by him before
- fixed his own mistake, committed it and created a pull request
We all had a good laugh.6 -
Deadline was 2 days ago.. Managment pissed off, bugging me every 2 minutes, until they get a call from the client asking to leave me alone to do my job. Awesome feeling..
5 -
This happened a month or so ago. I wanted a tablet for more easy/portable server management (JuiceSSH) so I went to a second hand tech store (a good/reliable one) and this guy asked me right away what I was looking for.
"a tablet!"
I pointed at a specific one and he grabbed it and walked me to the cash desk to take a look at it.
"what do you want to use it for?"
"server management mostly"
Then this other guy behind the desk looked at me with this view in his eyes like:
"fucking try-hard"
The employee helping me also looked strangeish at me
😅22 -
Good guy @dfox,
When he sees a good rant without upvotes, he upvotes it.
We need more like @dfox.
Be like @dfox :)12 -
Haha so this just happened;
Father in law came to me asking 'hey you as an IT guy, why does my Spotify app stops after x minutes every time'?
I say to him 'dnno never had the issue on Android, but you have a Microsoft phone, right?'
So he says; 'why are you asking? Isn't my Windows phone good enough for you? Ok already I'll try searching for an answer myself then on Google'.
So I go 'k k hold on I'll Google it for you'.
*ROFLMAO
11 -
I'm moving to a new place soon meaning that I'll have to get a new desk/chair. (current ones suck)
I need a good one of both but I'm not rich so was looking for more cheap options.
The guy next to me is moving out soon as well appearantly and he came to me and another roommate like "hey I'm going to buy everything new, fresh start! If you guys would like to have anything, let me know!"
Me: also a desk/chair by any chance?
Guy: yup, take a look :)
*takes a look*
Me: the damn they look very good! Are you sure you want to get rid of them? I'd think they cost quite some money.
Guy: yeah, you can also have the couch table/clothing closet if you'd like! (all designer/quality stuffs)
😍7 -
Friend: My other friend said he hacked into the Pentagon, can you do it?
Me: ummm No
Friend: So you are not really a good developer then?
Me: ummm No...I guess
Friend: well I'm hanging out with that guy then, he is showing me ways to make hundreds of $ a day online.
Me: sigh...5 -
We have this guy who is responsible for software testing, user support and stuff. Not a programmer but with good technical base knowledge. He was interested in writing automated tests, and I told him he might take some time to learn and help us there. In the last months I had to answer and explain a gazillion questions about our codebase and coding in general and it took me lot of time. But last week he showed me his first test suite which was actually good code and showed a lot of understanding of all aspects of this. This was more satisfying than anything on work ever.6
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That moment when the resident IT guy/teacher at your school comes to you at lunch and you look sad.
Me: Hello.
Teacher: What happened?
Me: Batteries almsot dead :(
Teacher: Well, I've got good news for you. I was talking to the school director about you.
Me: Um ... shit
Teacher: We're looking to get you an intership at the company that does networking shit for us (Netcom, anybody?)
Me: FUCK YEAH ... thanks!
*Day brightened by angelic light*7 -
Everytime someone says stakeholder I picture a rich fat guy in a suit, hugging a giant human-sized steak with tears in his eyes whispering "Oh steak, I love you so much, I will forever hold you in my arms", dancing a little waltz around his room while his cheeks and dress shirt get drenched with the exquisite richness of a good pan sauce.13
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Oh you're a frontend guy? Good, we need one of those.
Oh you're a backend guy too? Good, we need one of those.
Oh you're a security guy too? Good, we need one of those.
Oh you're a devops guy too? Good, we need one of those.
Oh you're a QA guy too? Good, we need one of those.
Oh you're an SEO guy too? Good, we need one of those.
"Well, sorry to say fullStackCraft, but we found your cloud architecture skills just a little too lacking for this position. We really need someone who can do frontend, backend, security audits, QA assessments, SEO, AND build scaling cloud architecture. Oh and while you're at it, can you turn fucking water into gold? We need that at our company too. You didn't get the position, but it'd be great if you could refer us to someone who is very advanced in fucking alchemy. Thanks!"
Absolutely toxic the way software people are treated I swear. The money may be the only good thing that is left.19 -
we had this guy once, who we gave access to our private repo. everything's all good until we noticed that our amazon bill was USD 8,000+!!! we found out that lots of servers got created and that's bec. this guy forked our private repo and his fork was a public one. our keys were still not in .env files and were part of the commit so some bot got hold of it and accessed our amazon account. we suspected that the servers were used for bitcoin mining. anyway guy was fired on the spot and we also learned our lesson to keep keys out of repos.14
-
I don't wanna be that guy that posts jokes here but thought this one was pretty good:
What's the most popular language in programming?...
...Profanity6 -
So I was at work and send to another location (distribution centers) and in the lunch break my guider for that day and I started a conversation about servers etc (he appeared to do loads of stuff with that). He recommended me all those programs but I didn't recognize anything so I asked him what kinda servers he ran. He runs a lot of Windows servers. No problem for me but I told him that I am into Linux servers myself.
Guy: "Linux guy, eh? That system is considered to be so secure but in reality it's insecure as fuck!".
Me: (If he would come up with real/good arguments I am not going to argue against that by the way!) Uhm howso/why would you think that?
Guy: "Well all those script kiddies being able to execute code on your system doesn't seem that secure.".
*me thinking: okay hold on, let's ask for an explanation as that doesn't make any fucking sense 😐*
Me: "Uhm how do you mean, could you elaborate on that?"
Guy: "Well since it's open source it allows anyone to run any shit on your system that they'd like. That's why windows rocks, it doesn't let outsiders execute bad code on it.".
Seriously I am wondering where the hell he heard that. My face at that moment (internally, I didn't want to start a heated discussion): 😐 😲.
Yeah that was one weird conversation and look on open source operating systems...21 -
My first job was at a web agency. Non tech background, trying to transition into tech through frontend. Month 1: graphic designer, month 2: CSS guy, month 3: UI guy, month 4: in the frontend team doing react, month 7: leading the team, also doing some rails backend, month 9: full stack, month 11: leading web team.
How? Everyone else in the dev team left at month 7 lol. Literally thrown into the middle of the rainforest, fighting bugs by myself. But became so good at debugging and learning on the spot. Left at month 12 for a better job.1 -
Recently found so many 299++ and I gave them all the last one for the stress ball. Enjoy it fellas3
-
Boss: Hey funny guy, It's your First Work anniversary. Congratulations and now share your thought on completing a year with us.
Me: Thanks Lady, All I wanted to say is Life was good and then I joined this project.
Boss: Told you, Funny guy. Now get back to work and I want those fixes by EOD.
Me: 😑4 -
Impostor Syndrome at it's finest.
Any experienced developer knows writing good programs has very little to do with syntax and a whole lot to do with where you put it. If this guy actually did any work over his career he probably knows a ton about application architecture and design patterns without even realizing it.
source: https://quora.com/I-have-been-worki...
2 -
Good morning, mornin wood.
Good morning, chirping birds outside the window.
Good morning, handsome guy in the mirror.
Good morning, beautiful machine of mine.
Now where were we last night.
Hmpph
😒😒😒 morning segfault3 -
You know how it is when all your friends know you as the "computer guy".
Friend: Yo, I need this small script for school, can you do it for me?
Me: I don't really...
Friend: Come on, pretty please.
Me: See I...
Friend: I'll pay you good for this.
Me: Oh... What language does it have to be in, Python? JavaScript? Ruby? Perl? I don't know it but it shouldn't be too hard, I can learn it. Bash? Not a fan but it's quite easy. So what is it?
...
Friend: Visual Basic
Me: oh...
This was last week. 2017. A couple of days before 2018. Some schools still teach VB. Not even VB .NET.
(He had about 200 good reasons so I did it anyway. But boy, has that been a chore)11 -
Excuse me, What the fuck?
This happened to me. some guy (or gal) rated my app 2 stars just because it couldn't download my app.
later on it replied me with a sorry message and said that app is really good. but it did'nt increased the stars 😑
7 -
So this guy rated my app 1 star saying that "application is pretty good. I can do almost all of my task using this app. It would be better if you have added this* features."
*The features he mentions is nothing but the substraction of 2 variables.
Why some of the app users behave like this? This is the biggest turn off to motivate me to keep developing if your application is free of cost.
Why can't we delete those review from stores?4 -
I met a guy on facebook group, where was post asking how to make easy platformer game in a week. And I tried to explain post author how to start. Everything was good untill this guy came in. He commented my comment "Yoo you are wrong, he can learn it in one day". My comment was about starting with unity and programming, and that need time to learn (without copying tutorial, everything made by himself). So I started to gently explaining him why it is unachivable in 1 day. Of course his respond was like "Omg you are so fooking stupid, It's sooo easyyy" this conversarion took good 15 minutes, and I ended it with "Ok, you are right" just to end thid. I hate people like that.4
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C: hey mate, what's the best tool to open up this 31.1M rows x 106 cols CSV file?
M: Umh...Pandas DataFrame or R DataTable I guess?
C: all right, Excell will do, thanks!
M: erhm...yeah, anytime?11 -
I'm the leader of a team developing a project at my company. Recently I had an accident which required me to have a surgery, and I was out for the last month.
Since it's an important project, our CTO reassigned a Xamarin dev to help my team (in JEE) while I'm out, you know, cause "C# looks like Java". The guy had to write a file stream handler, and - though the guy does a really good job - it's funny to see how desperately he's trying to understand how Java works with streams. Censored because of reasons.
7 -
*le me wants to get an icon online*
*le me finds a good icon on a free icon site*
*the icon site does require a free account for downloads but this guy doesn't want to register just for getting an icon*
Inspect element -> copy base64 icon data -> paste into a base64 to file converter online:
Le me has the icon now!7 -
I submitted a PR on Eclipse Che, filed ECA, etc. etc.
It's not my first contribution however, I've been working on their dockerfiles repo for a while.
...then they merge my shit without waiting for QA...
excuse me what the fuck2 -
@NickyBones I hope you get that PHD
@F1973 I hope you get that good position in a good company you deserve
@theabbie I hope you wake up one day and realize you’re a well-respected expert in your field
@Root I hope you... ah, already bought it
@lor-inc I hope that thing was just fatigue and not a mental illness
@SortOfTested? As one guy once said “@SortOfTested got everything figured out”.19 -
From the guy who wrote all the Programming Microsoft books and the Annotated Turing book. Comes this book.
This book is great for beginners great for people who don’t know a lot about software and how computers work, simple read. I like it because it also gives a different prospective, beginning at Morse code and works up from there all the way up to high level languages.
The book gives snippets of code to discuss it not really a tutorial book. It’s a different type of book that all people could understand.
Good read
32 -
First time my laptop acted as a CV.
I've been in a personal project with my pal for like a three months. We meet sometimes at a cafe which is a very nice workplace, we often see more people with laptops, so we are not the only ones that thinks so.
My pal was waiting for me, he got a table early and then I arrived. there was a guy nearby us.
Me: (this guy has a newest new macbook pro, fucking riche)
-- I sit, put my laptop and start to work with my pal --
The guy starts looking at my stickers without hiding his doing at all. I noticed that instantly
Me: (Crap, he's gonna ask something :( )
-- I kept discussing stuff with my pal for like 5 minutes and then it happened. the guy stands up and... --
Guy: hey! how are you? sorry for bother, are you perhaps developers? I'm asking because I saw your stickers
Me: mmm yes
Guy: Do you have a job currently?
Me: We are in a project (No need to mention this is personal project and I got my full time job)
Guy: Oh, ok, no problem, you see I got a company, and currently we are looking for people to work with us, we want frontend developers with javascript skills preferable, but anything is welcome. Interviews starts next week, so if you are interested or know someone that could be, I'll give you my card and please write me at my mail if anything.
Me: got it, no problem.
-- I tried my best to hide my displeasure face(but I think I showed it a little), for him to being a riche with a new macbook pro, and you know, the interruption, I wanted to be focused while working in da project --
-- I got the card, I read it a bit, didn't dig into too much, there was stuff to do at the moment. the guy already returned to his chair and my friend --
Pal: Excuse me Mr Guy, what's the job tittle?
Me: (FUCK! dude!, we're working in our shit, don't give him more reason to try to scout us. we are behind the schedule and I need to explain this shit to you FFS)
Guy: Oh yes, will be frontend developer(again), but if you are a full stack that will be a plus too, we got some stuff with angular 1.x(ugh), and sencha touch(ugh) and ...(don't remember what else was it)
Pal: Ok and the job is full time in site? or are you open to work remotely
Me: (ok man, you sound interested, that makes me look interested too >:( )
Guy: preferable in site, but we would consider remotely depending on the person.
Pal: Good! thank you very much Mr. X
Guy: cool
-- Later on, like two hours, my friend goes to the counter for more coffee --
-- I text him: dude, I feel the guy will kidnap me or something --
-- then the guy start looking again at my laptop and... ---
Guy: hey! Jhon was your name right? Do you have experience with devops? I see your aws stickers
Me: yes
Guy: do you have experience with microservices?
Me: yes, a bit with lambda, also I've done some stuff with kubernetes, opsworks, rds and whatnot. no biggie
Guy: oh cool! we have a devops job too, there is a migration we need to do for an app to micro services. again if you are interested or know someone that it does. please mail me :)
Me: gotcha
There were no further interactions with Mr. Guy the rest of the day.
I'll be thrilled if someone ask me about my bee and puppycat sticker
12 -
Just had le first sollicitation/interview.
Went pretty good! Nice guy, very relaxed talking/environment aaand they use Linux internally so no windows for me (if I get the job)!
Although the fact that I don't plan on staying longer than a year (maybe I was too honest) wasn't a good thing to say, it was a good interview :)18 -
Saw a guy using his thinkpad in George Street Hungry Jack's(Sydney), decided to take a look on his laptop screen, he was running i3wm, wonder if he is on devrant. Feels good to see linux users around.1
-
<Email thread>
Manager: Hey @iiii, please, create stories for {things that shall be done}. You will be responsible for that implementation next sprint.
Me: *procrastinating like a bitch*
**several hours later**
Dev from another team: Actually, we discussed that with {upper management guy} and it seems like those things are unapplicable for current project, so we'll send a letter to {client} to remove those requirements.
Manager: @iiii, don't create stories.
</Email thread>
Me: *welp, good thing I did exactly nothing so far*8 -
A College Friend of mine has offered last year a free C++ course for everyone who is interested, this year he is doing the same in Rust. This guy can explain and gives a big part of his freetime for this.
He is just amazing.
Thanks to everyone who shares his/her knowledge!4 -
Who is the guy who designed the AZERTY keyboards ? 😠
Seriously... Alt Gr + 5 = [
And the most horrible thing is the "(" char... WHY THE FUCK DID HE PUTS IT IN THE "5" KEY WHEN KEYBOARD IS IN LOWERCASE ? YES, IN LOWERCASE, NOT ONLY WHEN SHIFT IS HOLD.
There are more than 100 keys in a keyboard, so why here? WHY?
Half of time I check if CapsLock is off just to be sure if I can open a bracket just because someone thought it was a good idea to put it here. It annoys me.13 -
Just tech screened a kid for a senior Network automation role, in a specific niche.
He's never automated anything before. Didn't know networking basics, didn't know about the niche...
This guy hasn't heard of unit testing or UDP... good luck out there kid. You've got balls anyway.14 -
Hello everyone, this is my rant.
I work in a start-up as an Android developer and we were looking for our first iOS developer.
After two months searching, some guy was finally hired last week.
My boss already told me he didn't have my programming level, but we needed him because he had experience as community manager and good Photoshop skills, and right now we need a profile like that in our company.
Today the new guy asked me what are setters and getters.
How fucked is my company? Is there hope for us?9 -
The "guy who is good with computers" can't open a fucking .rar or start skype. Yeah sure dude, you're like the best at "computer stuff". Fucking morons.3
-
Brought in a meeting a really good idea. One guy out of 9 sayd, that it's stupid and we could not use it.
1 week later the same guy proposes the same idea to the boss and team. Took all the merit and when I confronted him, he denied, that it was first my idea.
Fuck my life...2 -
Spent 2-3 weeks on implementing a new feature, a guy with 10 years of experience jumps in and solves it within 5 days.
*Oh! I forgot to mention, it was his first time working with the framework.
I must say his OOP skills are really good, not sure if this is something you learn by reading books or simply by practice.
I strongly believe that if you have a good understanding of how to build apps with OOP pattern, you'll do a great job in the SW industry.4 -
!rant
Interviewed a guy for a senior technical job. I worked hard on making my own questions that hopefully make the interviewee think instead of useless gotchas.
He told me at the end that they were fun questions and this interview was loads better than the rest who just ask questions off of Google.
Having had my share of shitty interviews, this makes me feel so good 😊11 -
I was working with a guy 3 years ago, he was junior web developer. Lazy for work, watching YouTube and game streamers all day long at the office. Sometimes i was fixing his crappy code.
And ... one week ago I was surprised seeing this guy come to my current work office as senior web developer.
Im also new at this office and i had good impression i was working with professionals before this happened. Guess what... This guy hasnt changed much. Still writes crappy code , no idea of clean code at all.
I got concerns about my work place now :/ thinking to change it.6 -
#prank
New guy on the team, learning WPF.
He forgot to lock his computer when fetching coffee. I added a transform group in the main window and checked it in to Git. Locked the computer.
He comes back, furious at his computer for turning the application upside down.
Next two hours he was rebooting, flipping the screen, stressing, googling until I finally had to confess.
He uttered a strange sound of short burst of laughter concealed in a relief of not going insane.
It was a good day.
His pull request was rejected.2 -
New guy (good friend) is on the line with me shadowing. OMFG THESE PEOPLE HAVE HEAVY ACCENTS. Only reason I can hear them is my babysitter has a heavy Vietnamese accent as well, so I'm used to it, but HOLY CRUD this is painful. I feel bad for my newest teammate28
-
I was once using an app, made by my friend which could be used as a handy reference for programming topics. It crashed every time i clicked the last entry of the list. I told him that the app has a bug, probably some position mistake and he denied, saying that he doesn't need feedback from a guy who didn't code applications. I learned to code java and started android that night and knew I needed to give him a reply, a good one.3
-
Just a guy burping and farting all day, every day.
He was a very cool guy and a good worker, so he was excused. But it was very weird when he just started at the company!1 -
Transport management system support team:
Me: Good day, how may i assist?
Client: Hi, Can you help me setup my printer?
Me:* Sighs deeply with great discretion*
Me: Sorry mam but we don't do that here, we
only deal with issues regarding the TMS.
You would have to contact your IT guy
Client: but you are our IT guys
Me: *Sighs even deeper*
Me: Unfortunately mam we are not your "IT
guys"
Client: Well, This issue needs to be fixed
Me: Yes mam, yes it does *Hangs up phone*4 -
Freelance project I was working on was deployed. Without my knowledge. At 11pm. Their in-house "tech guy" thought that the preview build i gave them was good enough for deployment. Massive bug, broke their api endpoints.
Got a call at 2 in the morning,asking for a fix. I told them how it was their fault and the App they deployed had TESTING written right on the main screen.
They promised additional payment to get me to fix it asap.
Went through the commit history (thank goodness their tech guy knew git, fuck him for committing on production though) and the crash reports.
Removed three lines. All became right with the world again. 😎2 -
There's a guy in standup that just yells his update in an Indian accent.
He's not even Indian. 💀
Its too funny, I can't even feel offended.
"GOOD MORNING EVERYONE YESTERDAY I CHECKED THE STATUS AND RESOLVED THE DEFECT"12 -
I have this guy who always post on his social media stories about how he is so good at programming and he has mastered “python” “R” and “JavaScript”. He just started programming early this year. February to be precise and thinks he is a badass programmer. Smh
How will I tell him codeacamy free certificates isn't knowing about programming and cramming syntax isn't programming also🤦🏽♂️13 -
Maybe it's old and well known, but somebody asked, so here it goes:
A shepherd is quietly grazing his sheep on the fresh village pastures.
Suddenly a shiny new car stops by. A cool guy, very well dressed hops out and asks him: "Good man, If I guess exactly how many sheep you have, can I win one?"
The shepherd, puzzled, accepts.
The cool guy, opens his laptop, download a satellite picture of the area, run a NASA algorithm for image recognition and in few seconds answers "you have 1342 sheep"
"Wooow" says the shepherd "you won, take one"
The cool guy is about to live when the shepherd approaches him:
"Ehi, Young man, I bet all my flock against your car that I can guess what is your job"
The cool guy, (he likes to bet after all) accepts.
"You are a consultant" says the shepherd.
"WTF! how did you even..."
"Well, easy" says the shepherd "you came out of nowhere, well dressed and smart looking, you answered a question nobody asked you, you told me something I already knew, you want to be payed for that and in addition, you don't understand shit about my business."
"Now", adds quietly the shepherd "please, give me back my dog"
(for @LOLjustCoding)2 -
Sunday afternoon extra work..
New guy: what do you do?
Me: backend, mainly
New guy: c#?
Me: yeah, but not just..
New guy: so you're good at it?
Me: I'm a fucking proctologist
Awkward silence, followed by nerdy giggling -
Was just told by a guy in my class proudly, “yeah, I’m pretty good at typing. It comes in handy for when I code stuff in class.” Awesome, that’s cool. I ask what he’s doing in the class. “We learned Scratch last semester and now we’re starting Java.” -______-6
-
Joined my current company as a Frontend Engineer 2 years back. They recently got funded and started hiring with a higher salary range. Not to brag but I'm pretty good at my job with 6yr of experience but my current salary makes me a lower mid-level engineer now and I'm the only frontend guy here.
So, now they're asking me to take interviews of the applicants who are applying for the senior position.
Why do people have to be such an assholes to the employees, man?3 -
He was a nice guy, skilled, reasonable, a lot of knowledge.
Until he said "I'm going to assign a girl to your project, BUT don't worry, she is very good"
I was about to jump, but handshakes and further jokes went on and I wasn't able to speak up.
Plus he is the CEO assigned by the investors to be our new software provider.
Puking.22 -
How difficult is it to do things and do them properly? Clearly in 2019, very difficult. And why on Earth would you do things properly, when there's get rich quick schemes, shortcuts to be found and taken, and that filthy filthy legal tender. If the shitty implementation makes a profit, why do it properly? Makes no sense.
Except it fucking does. And you know why? Because of the guy that comes after you, that works with your fucking bullshit implementation and probably curses you to the moon and beyond in the process. Just like you probably did with the guy that came before you, with that bullshit you got tasked to work with. Don't be that guy. And don't be that guy to the next guy.
Still with me? Good. Here's the thing. You can do [insert job here] quick and dirty. But you're guaranteed to be checking back on it and fixing the crap later on. Or worse yet, someone else will be cursing you to the moon and beyond while they are fixing / working around your crap. So why not do it right in the first place? Is this why we can't have nice things?5 -
Good guy teacher doesn't care if you write Javascript global functions wrong on a test because "your editor will fix that for you"
-
PM: "so I need you to deploy this new application to some new server. The deadline is in 2 days"
Me: "yeah I can do that, is the application ready and has been tested? Have the servers been set up properly by the IT guy?"
PM: "yep, all is set up and good"
Couple of hours later I try locating the server, only to find it didn't exist.
Me: "the server you mentioned earlier, is doesn't appear to exist?"
PM: "it definitely does, IT guy said he set it all up"
I dig around a little more, but this server definitely doesn't exist. The IT guy was on holiday for a week, so we had to wait for him to get back; delaying the release. On the morning the IT guy got back,
PM: " I though you said you set up that server for the application, we've had to delay it now!"
IT: "I just set it up this morning. Like I said in the email to you before I Ieft, I will have to do it first thing when I get back after holiday"
Turns out the PM had asked the IT guy to spin up the server, but never bothered to read his response. Assuming it was done he told the client he'd have it deployed in a couple of days.
The application was deployed successfully later that day, but not before the PM blamed us two for its delay.1 -
It was a long flight but he just flapped right along! Good job my guy! Time to relax on the beach and enjoy the water!
2 -
Had my first car accident today. I was taking a friend to school, we were down the street from our school. Person in front of me slammed on their brakes for no reason (light was green, nobody was crossing), so I did the same. Almost fucking hit them, but whatever. As me and my friend started to recover from that, we get hit from behind.
I remember just looking over at her when it happened and going "DID WE JUST FUCKING GET HIT?", she looks at me and says "I don't know what else it could have been"
The guy that hit us was a really nice guy. When me and the person in front of me slammed our brakes, the guy behind us followed, but it was raining this morning and he slid into my car.
So the guy called the cops, had an officer come, we exchanged information and everything (wasn't a bad enough accident for an actual police report). I called my insurance company, they said to call his insurance company, so I did. Filed a claim, told them everything that happened, then they called the guy, he confirmed everything and said the accident was his fault. But since my car is fairly old (it's a 2001 model), they said it might not even be worth fixing and they'll probably just end up seeing how much the car is worth and sending me a check.
The fun thing is, my cousin is my mechanic and he can also do body work, and the damage isn't that much, so he said he probably wouldn't charge much. So I'll probably get to pocket a good amount of the money (maybe like $700 max but still)
So, fun day.9 -
Bro, that code u call well written, would look better if it was encoded in base64
Damn, u look like the guy at github who thought it would be a good idea to sell to microsoft.
You are an insult to anyone who codes... or thinks4 -
I was drunk at a party and so was this guy, that I knew from scouting and who knew that I was capable of programming, even tho he very clearly disagreed with my choice in language.
We started talking about this new system that we (all scouts in Denmark) have to use and he told me how his work was affected by the fact that this systems API is the purest of shit.
He told me that he would really like someone to help him with his work, cause right now he was alone. They were looking for someone new, but for some reason the boss wanted a new guy to have 5 years of experience in Java... Which they don't use.
So he got my information and would put in a good word for me -
At work the other day...
Guy: "Oh hey I was thinking if you could help me with an application to visualize some data."
Me: "Ooookay...what did you have in mind?"
Guy: "I think we have XML files that could be turned into graphs...oh and we could add some trend lines. (Getting more excited) And maybe we could supplement it with live data...oh hey and maybe we could add real time alerts via email..."
Me: *thinks to self...there is no way in hell I am starting to work on something that he is literally coming up with requirements as he's talking* "I need specifics...so go take some time, think it through and get back to me with concrete details and examples."
Guy: "Ok. That should be enough to get you started for now at least."
That would be a big fuck no, good sir. Haven't started and won't start it. He has never mentioned it to me again since then.4 -
how does devRant make any kind of profit? I mean it's free, they have swag giveaways, server cost and maintenance, development, etc...??9
-
long time ago....
Feature request: We want an android backup solution in Our app!
UI guy has already developed it, you just need to see if his solution is solid!
Ok then - lets look at the UI: Nice progress bars, that turn into green checkmarks. Looks good.
Now lets look at the code: ... Ok. loading some files into memory.... and... dafuq? does not write to a file?
Backup to RAM. With no restore. 🤦♂️.3 -
I have a bit strange personal rule - If I encounter something more than three times during 3hrs period, I certainly must learn as much as possible about it. Last night I've stumbled upon few listings in Go language.
So, starting this morning, decided to learn Go. So far, so good.
P.S. Is it just me or Go really does have strong C/C++ vibe (but is, indeed, higher level language)? Old guy like me, must like that.12 -
Trying to hire more good devs... it's surprisingly hard. Guy with supposed decade of JavaScript experience fails code test, "I don't really use map function so I don't know it."
R U kidding me
...and yet my "maybe we should consider remote devs" idea isn't getting any traction :/9 -
At a previous company we hired an 18 year old guy and father from a minority and without a high school degree. He could write enough code to get the job. However, he took 3h long lunches, came in late to work and apparently had a problem taking orders from women. At one point all the juniors got an earful because of his attitude and he got let go, not long after. It still saddens me because he could have made a really good career if wasn't for his attitude.1
-
Really loving the instant legacy code being added to our new project by devs who think they are too good to follow our peer review process, yum... today I found out that there are two different implementations of an API endpoint that does the same thing running in prod, in two different places, because the guy who wrote the second one wasn't aware that the first one existed and didn't let a second developer look at it before he pushed it to master.7
-
The guy who became my manager just pushes to the prod branch.
On a repo where another team clearly set up development and production branches.
This guy has been pushing code like crazy and I always wanted to take my time setting things up properly in our team: TDD, CI/CD, etc.
Because he pushed so much he became my manager and I was seen as unproductive.
Data Science and software development best practices just dont coexist it seems.
Yeah yeah, it's up to me to start introducing good practices, but atm "getting it done" takes priority over the real based shit.4 -
I hate JS...
I hate CSS...
What can be worse ? ...
*guy at work* : hey what do you think about CSS in JS, should we try it for our codebase ?
*other* : yeah why not ?
Me : *make a gun with my fingers, gently putting it in my mouth, remember all good things in life, no regrets* *gun noise*
Kidding, I love javascript.
But I seriously hate CSS and UX stuff.
2 -
So met a guy today in college and it was his first day in class. He told me that he is working as software engineer and having 4 years of experience and primarily works with Java lang.
We do programs in Java for practicals and I'm not good with Java (I fuckin hate). I thought maybe I can ask for help from this guy if I'm stuck. And so the practicals started.
And guess what the guy did not know how to compile Java program on 'cmd' and was seeking help from other guy. I'm like what the actual fuck. How the fuck he has 4 years of experience and can't compile a program. Can't even able to set path. Total idiot. Fuck this shit.10 -
One of the soulless parasitic drones commonly referred to as a "recruiter" happened to find a good fit. Pure coincidence, as he had no clue what the company did, or what the tech stack was.
If I'm ever switching again, I'll do it on my own. Just thinking about the fact that this guy pocketed €30k for 3 phone calls makes me sad.4 -
It's official, I've come full circle:
"I assume you're not looking for a new opportunity right now, but do you know anybody that might be interested, or do you have someone to refer?"
Yes, let me do more work for you, even though you aren't interested in me at the moment. Shameless linking to a previous post which is the same: https://devrant.com/rants/5404347/...
At this point, I'm convinced its going to repeat until about 2050 when the entire software industry comes to a complete and catastrophic standstill.3 -
So the company I'm interning in just got a project in WordPress from an old client. I'm their "WordPress backend guy" apparently coz I'm apparently the only one who seems to know WordPress. The site has multiple malwares and they want to redesign the thing too. Work starts on Monday and now DevRant algo is showing me a lot of WordPress rants. Guess good times are ahead.4
-
I bombed a guy who pissed me off with spam sms that he had to switch off his phone. Good thing I witnessed his frustration. Feel amazing. 😁😁9
-
Do you think I should give Atom another shot or stick with VSCode?
I've tried it several times but I always found it sluggish, slow in everything and bugged. VSCode is so much smoother and fast.
But damn Atom is so much more good looking, especially with nebula theme.
It's like choosing between the nice, decent-looking guy and the rude but definitely good looking fuckboy chad10 -
A friend of mine once buried an exception deep in some code that any reasonable programmer shouldn't ever come across that said "you're the worst person I know"
A few days later when a guy in our project was working on his awful patchwork of a database mapping he managed to somehow actually hit this exception. We all got a good laugh out of it! -
900 lines to build an HTML select list which displayed the months from January until the current month, for picking which months data to display seems a tad excessive... probably good the guy who did it doesn't work anymore.4
-
!Dev
Fuck that day, honestly. Today during my driving lesson I was a witness of a car crash literally 5 meters in front of me (the older man cut the road of other guy, that other guy hit the old man's car and old man has hit the lamp post. Good thing no was injured, except of few bumpers, car doors and lamp).
The train which was supposed to take me back to Leiden was 10 minutes late, so I couldn't catch the earlier bus.
When I got off the train, went to catch a next bus, there was huge crowd outside, because police was taking care of the suspicious bag left in front of the train station (pic). Lots of cop, lots of people. Fortunately that wasn't a bomb.
The only positive thing was that I helped some nice Hindi guy find his bus 😁
26 -
I think there is always that guy in the company who makes shitty code, and someone else needs to fix/rewrite it. but he is always good with PM and superiors.
-
A few days ago I had a party with a big part of my good ol' highschool classmates who I almost never spoke to. Let the stories begin:
- Guy who made fun me in when I said I wanted to do computer science: "Man, I wish I had done the same study. It looks fun."
- Guy who has a startup for like 1 year: "Sooo what are you good at, ios/android development? webdevelopment? contact me if you want to work with us.(for free)"
- One of the friendly guys: "Do you have any sites where I can learn some basic programming or something?"
What I thought: WTF HAPPEND IN THOSE 3 YEARS, WHY THE SUDDEN INTEREST IN PROGRAMMING AND STUFF?! ESPECIALLY YOU FIRST GUY!3 -
you wanna know what the most hilarious shit is? hackernews users AKA the 6 figure startup bros that "rule the world" in terms of code and software...
trying to argue the best way to build a website 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
here's some select quotes:
"I believe the most minimalistic and productive way is to just use php"
^ this guy must not know its 2023 now
"Unless you are a web developer I don't see the point of a CSS framework, it's much easier to roll your own."
^ this guy must not know the pain and suffering that is 'rolling your own' in CSS
"Sadly, I just don't have the time to generate the content I wanted to do, so the site sits."
^ this guy just... wait, what?
but you know what? these guys clearly know WAY more than me in terms of software, it's good they get infinite salad bar and prime rib every day at silicon valley's best and brightest!
please fucking kill me i want it to end16 -
Me,: we devs need silence to be able to focus properly, and to develop good quality software.
Marketing guy: we need to hang a frame on the wall.
Other marketing guy: yeah, let's grab the drill and make several holes, fuck those devs.4 -
The guy Intel hired to come up with instruction mnemonics must be just letting his cat walk over the keyboard every time he needs a new idea.
cvttps2dq? sounds good! -
Doing and Code Review today... Not sure if this guy has really bad OCD, gets bored, or gets stuck and starts commenting the shit of things...
I'm not sure if I like it or hate it... typically "Good code should be self documenting" but this actually might be acceptable... code on the left, 10K foot view on the right?
4 -
I need quit my job, my boss is an as***le... I want to kick my boss as** but, suddenly remember that I need this job, I need this money to help my mom and my sister to rise her childrens, my nephews...6
-
Is it just me, or is the rants longing for stickers and balls (sounds vaguely euphemistic) becoming just a bit too common?
I love some good stickers as much as the next guy, but wouldn't it be more fun to have them for something more, well, rant-y?
But by all means, keep ranting about what you think about, I love all of it.3 -
I just got started in my web development course in college now but I'm really not interested in waiting another year or two to finish my prerequisites when I could be learning and making my own stuff by now. I'm learning HTML and doing pretty well. But any tips for a guy trying to get into the industry? I know CSS and JavaScript are some of the basic tools I should know and also WordPress. Any advice is appreciated? Any good online courses I could also take to speed things up a bit?9
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Who thought it would be a good idea to limit the length of a dns record to 255 chars?
Is one really not allowed to use a proper dkim key in 2018!
The funny thing was that they just cut off the rest without informing the user!
Had to convince the guy to switch dns „provider“9 -
They've just brought in a desk to my office. They're gonna bring another Dev in...
This guy apparently works Erlang, Ocaml, Python... I work all C# so this is bound to be fucking good! Hahaha I'm happy.
3 -
Totally showing my immaturity here, but...
Sometimes it’s good to go to the bathroom at work and laugh at people’s farts. Really takes the edge off of a day full of bullshit.
This guy over at the urinal was farting for a good 10 seconds and I couldn’t stop laughing.1 -
So we were supposed to have another good build today.
Supposed to.
This one guy on our team gets weird sometimes, and refuses to commit his shit until the last minute. He says "Don't worry, I'll handle all the merging, it'll be fine!"
What he forgets is that much of our code relies on his! His latest commits reworked a couple entry points and a class definition. No backwards compatibility.
He made his commit, and nearly our whole stack shit the bed. Jesus jumping Christ. Weekend? Nope.2 -
Me at BestBuy today: Oh man, you got the got the Pixel 2 XL? This is looks good and feels good in hand. Last time I stopped by, the other guy had just the Pixel 2. Blah blah blah.. so is this running the 8.1 or 8.0?
Verizon associate at BestBuy: The 8.1
Me: oohh, you got that preview huh? *goes into system to check.. dude it's running 8.0
Verizon associate: oh really? Dang, I forgot. I'll side-load the APK.
Me: 😕😒😂 I hear you.
*At that point I lost hope in humanity*3 -
Oh gosh... This week a "friend" of mine will have a job interview for a company I am working at. This guy really just can't Code. He has no understanding of clean code, abstraction etc. He just knows the basics. But he loves to brag how good he is and got his bachelor degree. Damn I hate this guy and I hope HR won't hire him.7
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On today's episode of "Being the Company Git Guy":
"Good Day jallman112, can you ping me when you have a second? I'm having issues with merging our last branch back to MASTER in GIT. It's forcing me to resolve 400+ conflicts"
Sure. I'll get right back to you.
In a second.
Promise.2 -
Which bastard thought that 'Spotifiy remote' is a good idea?
You never know what you control:
- your phone with your phone
- your laptop with your phone
- your laptop with your laptop
- your phone with your laptop
- your heart with your heartbeat
The guy invented that should get hit with a stick recursively until he cries 'Music should be played on the device that you can control'7 -
Fucking kill me. I've just agreed to make a shitty fucking app that would be better as a Webpage, using shitty fucking technologies I don't understand, to do a thing that would be better handled by a third party.
You know why? The guy who asked me to do it is a good friend, and I'm the "best (only) code monkey" he knows. FUCK MY LIFE.
At least I'm getting payed7 -
Interviewed a guy yesterday and asked what languages he knows...
"I'm really, really good at HTML"8 -
A few days ago, a guy sent me a message on Fiverr asking me to create a website.
The good joke is that they are two engineering students who want me to do their programming exercise.
The nerve.2 -
I worked really hard to make this girl my friend at work. We go for morning breaks around from 10:00 AM – 10:30 AM.
And then this new guy joined the company sitting close to me and we become friends. This new guy finds my girl friend really awesome and they are getting closer everyday and they are leaving me behind now and separates me with almost all the conversations during morning break meet.
Today, during the morning break. My girl friend said that I have changed and don't talk to her much like I used to. Way back when we met I really clearly told her that I have anxiety and social disorder so please bare with me and she told me that she will be there for me as a good friend.
I'm not sure what to do. I'm going to lose a good friend really soon.5 -
People hate Amazon, people like to hate on Amazon.
But people also keep buying from Amazon
This morning I took an amazon return package to DHL and literally at 17:00 this day (the same day!) I got the refund to my bank account
What the fuck. I mean yeah I hate amazon as much as the next guy. But that's literally why people are buying from amazon. You can't just say "amazon bad" and then not also appreciate when they are doing something good12 -
My new mobile development teacher just admitted he has never learnt git or any other VCS, I asked him what he does when shit happens and he just said,
"I just have a folder for each version backed up to Google Drive"
This is the guy that's teaching us? Surely as a teacher you should be setting a proper example and using good practises....?16 -
Fuck my life! I have been given a task to extract text (with proper formatting) from Docx files.
They look good on the outside but it is absolute hell parsing these files, add to these shitty XML human error and you get a dev's worst nightmare.
I wrote a simple function to extract text written in 'heading(0-9)' paragraph style and got all sorts of shit.
One guy used a table with borders colored white to write text so that he didn't have to use tabs. It is absolute bullshit.2 -
Ok, so one of the oldest guy is leaving from my company (on a good note) and he was involved in multiple things in our organization. From having access to almost everything (AWS, Github and owning multiple projects and our legacy code). I am supposed to take KTof one project and man THE CODE IS MESS. YOU DONT PUT A RANDOM NUMBER WHILE CALLING A FUNCTION. You are supposed to define a constant and use that. I've told my manager that I need at least 1 week just to improve logging.3
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I met this guy on DC++ (good ol' times) who studied Visual Basic, and I was so jealous that he could create his own apps (I was like 10) that with his and Google's help I learnt it by myself. Then as Internet got bigger and bigger (early 2000s) I decided to learn JS and HTML. I'm not a professional, but I'm pretty confident with my skills 😊1
-
Stupid fucking idiot startup asshole hired me as an intern. Promised me the money after the work is done. We were friendly during the internship. The work is done and now it's been a week and still no money yet. He's saying it'll take some time. To beat you to shit it'll take some time you asshole!
Lesson learned: Never ever be friendly with the guy who hires you. Like never!!
Also money later isn't a good thing.8 -
Client A: "So, how about those features I told you yesterday? Can it work? Have you discuss it with your team?"
Me: "Yes, it would possibly have to extend the due date a little bit more..."
Client A: "Meaning?"
Me: "You have to pay more."
*Another 15mins awkward silence moment*
Client A: "I don't understand."
Seriously, get some other guy to do the meeting please...I am not good in PR....
3 -
!rant this is just a shoutout, how fucking happy I am. Clean code valued over fast but hacky push of features!
Backstory. I work for a startup. Long story short a guy with an idea needed a developer. I've worked for about a year without pay but now since we're live I get paid. Recently a new field of bussiness came up. I told tge guy with the idea (a.k.a. my boss) that we either could just "hack" the current code to just make it "fit" well kind of... Or refactor our main code base, as requirements where changing at least monthly and we just built on top of the monolith.
Don't get me wrong. It still isn't perfect. However I was able to refactor the main business logic for the last few days, as he understood, it's an investment into the future.
Good guy!
P.S. On another note: happiness or happyness? :O1 -
So, I am feeling low in life. I want to do so many things and not a single one is going as planned. On top of that Bitcoin has taken a plunge and my funds are stuck with a shitty exchange and I cannot withdraw till tomorrow.
Le a github issue appears and I am thinking what went wrong now. I had added a few new features to the app which would have broken the old configurations. So, I ask this guy to re-configure and test.
After about 2 hours I get a reply from the guy saying "Thanx for the great new features and for creating this great open source project!!!"
This made my day. And I am thinking Life's good. Life is so easy and we make it so difficult for us. The first thing I am doing after this review is write this rant. Now back to work.2 -
Guy: A social network with some very special features that nobody else has.
Me: Okay. Let's discuss these features so I can write you a quote.
Guy: I can't talk about that until I know how much an app costs.
Commence an impasse over whether I can quote something without knowing the features. And yes, I tried explaining he should get a NDA. And no, a NDA wasn't good enough; I need to quote it without any knowledge of the features.1 -
I was recently hired as a front end dev for a certain project. The owner of the project already had a backend guy who apparently was almost done. The guy was using a django to develop the website and just when we were about to integrate the front-end and backend he fucking bailed out! Saying he had another project. So I downloaded his code from github so that I could complete the backend myself but holy fucks it was so horrible... This guy didn't even know what he was doing... Just creating a million django apps which didn't do shit.. Oh and did I mention he used django 1.1... Such a shit head! But good for me... I'll be the one getting paid for the whole thing...2
-
Consistent theme:
Me: hey, we should really do/use X
Someone above me: Nah we don't need it/we already use Y
1 week later (or less):
SAM: Hey, I was thinking maybe we should start using X
This has happened 5 different times already. 2 of them were security related and only talked about after our infosec guy brought it up.
Don't dismiss ideas your interns have just because we're interns, we might have good suggestions.4 -
me being overly nice with a lost soul that commented in one of my few SO answers. from 3 years ago
1 -
I used to work with this Chinese coworker who wished himself 'Good afternoon' in Japanese everytime he ran into a wall when coding. He used to say, "Konnichiwa, Konnichiwa"!
But it's worth mentioning that he was such a good guy to work with! -
Today I got a reply to a PR comment from a coworker literally stating that "it's not a good practice to add unit tests to hotfixes".
I can't, just can't. Left me speechless. Wonder where this guy gets his "good practices" from.
7 -
Got this in Slack from the owner of the firm I work for...
I mean, you already pay me half of the average salary I should be making, but yeah, let me get right on that...
To be fair, I work with this guy because he is a really good guy to work for, is very hands-off (no micro-managing), doesn't expect me to work on the clock or any overtime and lets me make all the calls with our directions in development. Plus he pays me all he can afford, so it's not like he's trying to screw me (he shares the books with me to prove it).
But still, the dude has to realize you get what you pay for. You don't go to McDonalds if you want a gourmet burger...
2 -
Just graduated in CS.
All jobs required experience in stuff I never seen/heard before (back then I didn’t know most job listings were copy pasted by people who knew less than me).
I felt so inadequate that I replied to a job offer as a seller as they asked only fluency in 2 foreign languages.
The company owner during the interview looked at me and told me I needed to look elsewhere, that mine was a good resume and then he dropped this:
“I can see you are a good guy, but for this job I need an asshole”
Back then it was very hard for me but now I understand10 -
Im excited because I'm getting new pc parts for free.
The parts are:
* AMD 8 core CPU ( not sure which model )
* 16 GB ram
* some good graphics card ( not sure what model )
* motherboard
* cooling ( still not Sure what it will be, the guy was very vague )
It's also coming just before my birthday7 -
"How to exit the Vim editor?" hit 1,000,000 view milestone and a stackoverflow guy wrote a blog article about it with some neat facts. A good read imho.
https://stackoverflow.blog/2017/05/...2 -
Firts social hacking ever 😁😁😁
In the bus at the end of the day
Me:(fake phonecall to Bell)ho you offert me a 10go of data per months for 30$ ! Wow
Guy in bus: he call is phone company and give all is Private information in the bus to have a better deal.
Me: poke him and say "you know now i can create accounts on your billing address for free"
Guy: Holy shit man you are right i need to take care.
Me: now change all you password contains what you publicly said.
Me: have a good day 😋3 -
"If flowers could grow on the moon. I'd plant you a garden of stars. So you could see in the dark,
that you're not alone."
I have a poetry book coming out (eventually) called "Steal this poem."
To date, my poetry has gotten one guy laid. Thats good enough for me.
And if you ever wanted to know what it feels like to be a poet, now you too can be one.
Steal this poem.9 -
This post is kinda late. For those who haven't read my previous rants, a marketing coworker bragged about a feature that we hadn't yet finished. (I'm thinking that they perhaps did it to put extra pressure on the dev team 🤔.) Of course it backfired pretty bad, because this feature was a plug-in for another service, and even though the dev team was on time with the feature, the other service we were writing a plug-in for took _sooo_ long to approve of our code, and it made this marketing guy look so bad in front of these clients because the feature was a few weeks late.
A part of the new feature was that some of their data would be synced with this service. These customers were so important that we couldn't afford to disappoint them, and the solution was... *drumroll please* ... that this marketing guy would have to manually copy the customer's data from the service into our platform to make the customer think this feature is ready. Row by row. I'm hearing it takes about one hour of their day 🤣
I mean I'm good friends with the guy but... they kinda deserved it2 -
!rant
Met up with a good friend today we go off roaring all the time since we both own hooked up Jeep wranglers. Well we got together and after a fun day of crawling (no coding 😞) lol, We went to eat and I pulled up devRant and kind of mentioned how much I loved this little app and stuff and why it was about. Well turns out that I’ve been friends with this guy for sometime and we never talked profession. This guy is the Vice President to a large scale software development company here in my state!
I was dumbfounded ! Lol all this time this dude has been in the same field and I had no clue.
(I don’t get out much) 😅6 -
https://youtu.be/4L4nQyGLjio
FUCK THIS GUY AND WHOEVER ELSE THINKS AI HAVING THE ABILITY TO PROGRAM IS A GOOD IDEA OR SUPPORTS IT OR TRIES TO DO IT. ITS NOT AND NEVER GOING TO BE A GOOD IDEA! AI ISNT DANGEROUS UNLESS YOU DO THIS KIND OF STUPID SHIT, DO YOU WANT US TO DIE? DO YOU WANT TO REPLACE YOUR OWN JOB WITH SOME AI? ARE YOU FUCKING RETARDED?43 -
A friend of mine and I are about to open a company and we're hiring a developer to develop websites, no specific needs, it literally just have to work.
We found this guy, who develops goodlooking websites, but isn't really a developer, meaning that he just uses visual composers. (which doesn't differ too much from what we want).
Well this guy kinda loves us because we're actual developers who know how to code "properly".
It's the first time someone likes me just bc I'm a developer and I'm already superhappy!
Hope it will get good soon enough! -
I remeber being classified as the nerd at school. Picked on because i wasnt socially normal or part of the croud. Programming became my love and a few years later. Im doing very well and now those that use to think it was fun picking on me see me as the guy they need inspiration ideas and help from because im doing well for myself and im considering helping them.
It sucks being a good guy.. I cant get myself to turn others away that needs help2 -
It's fucking sad that when you buy a new laptop with good specs, good nvidia graphics, good sound and install Arch Linux because you hate fucking windows and arch way is the right way. But, then Linux fucks you because there is no proper nvidia support and you have to use wine which doesn't support new games and you run frequently into problems like audio (P.s. maybe in linux 4.10.11). You have to configure microphone everytime while using Skype and see some other guy having same laptop playing happily latest games without much burden.😣😣😥😥😔😔
When will Linux kernel be amazing for gaming??13 -
Hehe now a devrant++ guy, because it's the end of the month and i still have money left. Now i feel kinda good :)3
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When in the screening phone call the HR guy tells you will be using AngularJS. So, you brain like .. ok this is a good reason for you to learn it.
Now I can’t wait to do all the courses online to learn AngularJS lol8 -
MICROMANAGEMENT
I got assigned a milestone we had delayed twice already. It needs to be ready for tomorrow, it's harsh but doable.
Guy from another team, looks at my folder system during the presentation, something like
"src/views/users/view-all/view-all.template.html" and starts whining "hurr durr this isn't good tho, you should have chosen a significant name, it's impossible to understand what this file does".
Honest thought: if you can't navigate through folders, you shouldn't be writing code in the first place.4 -
I've worked with few incompetent people till now, but one guy who stands out is my peer who is a "Lead Developer".
First of all he knows nothing!! Even Jon Snow knows something, but this guy knows absolutely nothing. And on top of that he has a hard ass attitude. Never sticks to coding standards, pushes unwanted configuration files to Git, uses too many nested loops even when not even a single one is required.
And when I suggest him something, he starts giving these lame ass reasons and tries to avoid my comments. Then I say, "good luck with that buddy" and move on!!1 -
!rant
When you inherit some code from the job student and you notice how well written and commented it is. I'm glad he is soon returning as a fulltime employee. Hope he will keep this up. -
Hi guys, I’m that good guy MIS who knows a little bit python and got “promoted” to write a warehouse management system in C#, which I have never use it before.
Just now I submit my first pull request to DevOps and got accepted.
Just a small EF core and barcode generators stuff but I’m so glad I made some progress 😬3 -
After 5 years as a developer, I am 100% sure the users of Stackoverflow are the real Good Guy Greg
2 -
If you want a self stem boost talk to some non programmers sometime. They seems to see us as gods with some mystical magical powers!!
Talked with a broker today and he told me about a damaged computer that he had with some important files. I told him that I'm not that kind of computer guy and proceeded to explain him briefly what I do (I build stuff) and he was like "oh, so you a the the REAL computer guy!" (no offense to any technicians here!)
I loved it!
So, get out and talk to the muggles and stop complaining that you are not good enough to work for Google (or Google is not good enough for you anymore anyways...)5 -
any advice for a junior dev that can't get any fucking help from the senior devs? I can only in good-conscience try to solve a problem for so long before I know I'm seriously wasting my time
when I ask for help I often get "I'll get to your question in two or three days"
like damn I'm pretty stuck here guy10 -
being the good guy that I am I was helping out a family member over the phone. Frozen computer was the verdict... Eventually it turned out the computer wasn't frozen at all, the batteries of the magic mouse had died... thanks for wasting my valuable time! I then told em I would only help if they used cables for everything, including wifi. It took 3 weeks for them to realise Wifi cables don't exist. revenge can be satisfying sometimes!1
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I had a lunch lecture on AI today, and the guy who gave it was like: don't worry AI is like really stupid right now it won't take over the world. in fact, AI right now is about as smart as a mouse!
my thoughts: how good are you at catching mice? because I don't feel like running after one for sure2 -
So it seems Mr. Bean has still got it :)
Anyone have a good Dev meme for this shot? (He's looking at a fat guy with 2 young girls in his arms.)
8 -
!dev
So my boss sent me a facebook request when he used to work with me. He is young, good looking. I kind of had a crush on him.
I didn't like that he sent me the request (he's friends with everyone in the office) but I accepted as it didn't seem a big deal.
Now when he's gone, I sent him a request on another social media( thought it will be safer now), that guy just ignored the request.
Seriously what's wrong with these people. (or with me)15 -
In freelance world,
Some Computer Science degree holder (from client company) explain how good are they in Software development.
But when as soon as my team and I (after got criticized by this guy for the fact that my team and I don't have a degree in computer science) review their code, the code is a bunch of spaghetti! No proper Architecture, no documentation, and everything in one class?
Damn...4 -
I think I have made a big mistake. I posted a freelancer project to a FB group. I was trying to be very careful and vet people closely so there would be less chance of fraud. The guy I gave the work, and a deposit, to was either very, very, very good at constructing a bulletproof social media profile con game or he's just too busy to get back to me on a status report I asked for two days ago. :(
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"The culture here is one of success based upon academic excellence, studying, learning, practising and having a good job and a great life. For upper India, not the lower. I see two Indias. That's a lot like Singapore study, study, work hard and you get an MBA, you will have a Mercedes but where is the creativity? The creativity gets left out when your behaviour is too predictable and structured, everyone is similar."
Steve Wozniak on Indian Talent.
As an Indian, I agree with him. In this day and age, where education is so easy to come by, We live in a country where from the beginning we're told that education is about getting marks and writing stuff down 10 times. We live in a country where we're asked to cram up answers to questions which start with "what are your thoughts on..". How can we expect to be creative?
Can marks be a metric for good candidate in a country where the thought is, "first complete your engineering with good marks, then think what you wanna do in life".
Should academic excellence really be about the amount of shit a guy could cram up?
Sure it's easier to filter out people on the basis of marks in a country with 1.3 billion people, but is it justified?
Can we justify "success" as a good job for a guy who's life's only achievement has been getting into a good engineering college?
Can we really consider a guy successful, if his only "effort" has been reading and rereading books twice, thrice, a million times. Is this person, who has literally crammed his way into life, and has no practical experience, really successful?
This is the very reason Woz giving such a statement is justified. As long as we as a country gives up the stupid thought that patriotism is all about abusing the guy who says something negative about the country, and we actually start taking an action and change our thoughts on education, we won't succeed.
doomsday out 🤟 -
Documentation at the end of a 3 year project is like writing a blurb with only titles of the chapters... You better understand the entire project !! Good luck to the new guy.. Lol
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Last day on my first job where I stayed for a year. I really enjoyed it, loved the team, we were always laughing and making jokes, even in the worst moments.
Had a leader who became a friend, I made some good friends in there.
But I was really unmotivated as a dev, we maintained a really old and complex software, with a poor infrastructure for the dev team.
The manager was a great guy, but couldn't handle much pressure, saw him about 3-4 times quarreling with someone when he should be talking with the team to solve the problem.
But as I said, he is a great guy.
Today the whole team will be making a happy hour as my farewell party. I love this guys.
After that, on monday, I'll be joining a new company, working with a whole new stack, studying a lot for this new challenge.3 -
A guy (who is ending the same master degree as me) just launched his personal website saying he is webdesigner but used a very common bootstrap template. The future is good for this one 😂14
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Im in a tough place now. Received 1 offer from a company and on Monday afternoon I did the last tech interview with the second company.
Now by Monday I have to respond to the first offer while I dont know about the decision from the second company.
Tried to speed them up a bit with an email on Thursday afternoon by emailing the guy who interviewed me and also CCed both of the recruiters who were involved in the process. Basically told them that I have another offer but Im still interested in them and I would like to hear their decision. No answer yet.
Its sad bcs the guy from company no2 who interviewed me seemed really cool to work with and I think I did good enough to get an offer. But apparently Im not that good enough that 5 working days would be enough to respond to me with a decision given my current situation.
It sucks because now Im gonna spend the weekend wondering what should I do next.7 -
PHP why do people hate you ? personnaly i like React but i prefer vanilla js 😍
Can anyone tell me why people hate PHP. He is a good guy, i think 😅
exit;9 -
I know I shouldn't compare myself with someone but I couldn't stop myself this time.
One of my college classmate, now works with me in the same team. 4 years experience. I'm single, introverted and working at a fresher level. She, on the other hand, getting married with the guy she was in relationship with, she's confident and an ambivert, she's trusted at work ( I don't think she's a very nice person though) , also she's one level senior.
She's getting married, I feel that I don't have so much. I'm kind of just trying to love through the days, I remember in college she was dumber than me. But she's good. Doing good.6 -
My last job in Australia before moving to Japan was where I had my best boss. He was pretty chill about a lot of things and he was also a pilot and DJ in his free time. But he was also the no BS type of guy and would help resolve issues in a quick manner.
Also before moving to Japan, I did consult him about it and he was very supportive about it and encouraged me to do the move as it'd be a good experience for me.2 -
I though you may like what I did
The AI finished training now
My server almost went down
I put a semi-colon at the end;
I think you can't create front-end
I haven't had sleep in a while
Neither have I walked a full mile
I'm more of a 'kilometer' guy
We are going to eventually die
Fuck PHP
I can't afford to buy full HD
I'm not good at this
Cause I don't have a girl to kiss -
I remember back then when we were building an E-commerce website. To maintain good performance the boss insisted using flat table. This was also applied to other projects like GPS. That was already 2013 when NoSQL databases like MongoDB was around already. His concern is he didn't like to risk on new technologies and it would cost money for training instead of using the existing "MySQL" and Microsoft SQL Server.
Everything I learned from that guy was just poop. -
I was discussing scope and budget with a potential client for a side project. It involved a good bit of complex postgresql and subsequent aggregations and creation of reports. He was hiring because the last guy's work was so poorly documented, they couldn't verify its accuracy.
Me: "So, what are your thoughts on a budget?"
Him: "We were thinking something like $15/hour."
Me: "Um...ok. If I can ask, where did you get that number?"
Him: "That's what we paid the last guy."
😑😑😑😑😑😑4 -
Had a university project with friends, got another guy (#1) in our team. Upon being asked if we would take yet another guy (#2), we were sceptical if he was a good developer... Turned out guy #2 is one of the best of us, guy #1 can't do shit.
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So a guy told me about a problem he has, and I showed him a tool that I have built that solve his exact problem, but he answered "Nah thanks I am good".
What ? Why ? Are you stupid ? It's free3 -
We have this guy at the company who always presents good ideas and always suggests new projects. One day he suggested a great project, our boss really liked the idea and gave me the green light to start creating it.
The guy, seeing the opportunity to promote himself, and without consulting me about the deadline, set up a meeting to present the application to the directors, and only then informed me about the deadline. At that moment I did my part, told him that it would not be possible to meet the deadline with all the requirements, something had to be withdrawn, and that's what he did, took a lot of things from the project and we went on like this.
While I was implementing the application, he was always pushing, asking me to do it faster, asking my boss to put me exclusively in his project, and things like that, the boss was always saying that there were not enough people on the team to devote someone exclusively to the project. The guy of course did not agree with that.
At the end the application, without a lot of the initial requirements, was a really mess but ready, he presented to the directors, who in turn liked a lot, and consequently asked to do all the initial requirements and some more. But now those initial requirements had to be made on top of a mess because of all the rush and adaptations.
A few months later, with the change of the board, the guy turned up being my boss, and I've prepared myself to go back to his project with exclusive dedication.
Then came the surprise, when the guy, in the boss position, realized the limitations of the team, instead of putting me to do everything he wanted in that project, he canceled the project entirely and for all the reasons that had already been said to him by the former boss.
Please, don't be like that guy!2 -
I have co workers who laugh at me everytime I discuss to them how we should create clean code. (create functions for repeating code, naming conventions, generic code).
They would brag instead how they make another javascript ui library/plugin work(we are web developers by the way). Looks good in the front end but a mess in the backend.
I already created generic classes, generic database views that can be used by them if they want. But they create a new one with the same functionality.
I am a bit of a shy guy, and they are bit of loud, and I don't want to look like a know-it-all-guy, so I just let them do what they want.
I am just concerned how we can work easier by easily reading each others code.5 -
TIL: new M2 MacBooks officially support only single external screen. Not even the Pro class supports dual. It supports single 6K monitor, but I've failed to find any userfriendly ways to get good tiling which would be equivalent to multi-monitor. The only native tilling is left/right split. TB3 can handle 3x2K or 2x4K, but Apple said "fuck you and your multi-monitor setup".
I ain't mad tho. The guy upgrading to M2 sold me his dual monitors for a really good price.9 -
Went really well through development questions, some basic process stuff... generally a really good interview, only thing that seemed at all unusual was the guy conducting it seemed very young to be holding interviews for such a senior role.
Then we were chatting casually before we wrapped up, I mentioned something about my kids. The guy immediately went stiff as a plank, rushed through mumbled pleasantries to get me out the door, and I got a rejection email 25 minutes later.
It was horrific but I'm guessing I dodged quite the bullet!3 -
I don't know if our QA is good enough. We were developing an app for both ios and android. I, an ios developer, told the QA guy that it will take long before uploading the app in the testflight (convert swift2 to swift3). After a week the app is now uploaded in the test flight and at the same time my partner, an android developer, uploaded the android version of the app in the play store beta. The QA guy started to raise bug issues about the android version. He wanted to fix the bugs immediately since our boss needed to upload it in the play store and appstore. The QA guy kept on complaining to my partner why the android version is buggy. Then he said something we, me and my partner, facepalm.
The QA guy said " You shouldn't convert the app to swift 3. The ios version is fine when converted why the android version is buggy. You need to revert it back to swift 2"
We sit there in silence, thinking if we pity the QA guy or laugh at him. -
The meetings for SEO.
The SEO guy is really, really nice. He's patient, comprehensive, he's quite good looking and everything, but my boss is a total moron when speaking about internet stuff. He makes us repeat everything at least three times, he will note everything on a sheet of paper that he will lose and write again... these reunion last 2 hours and we have one twice a month. Uuuugh... -
I was once a guy fascinated by the world of computers , games and tech stuff. And today in my 21 and almost 6 months before my graduation ( as a fucking "CS" engineer) , i feel almost everything in CS as difficult or boring , even the things i am usually good at , and by looking at the competition, i am scared if this career is ever going to be fruitful for me :(8
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remember that company that ghosted me after I spent 2 hours taking 2 "aptitude" tests for them?
or the EIGHT HOUR challenge I wasted my time on because the guy said I didn't know enough redux, even though they were the ones completely overcomplicating (and frankly bastardizing) its usage? oh also imagine using sagas in 2023... fucking 🤡clowns🤡 get with the program, glad i wasnt hired by you, good luck finding a competant dev
yeah, was good times...1 -
Tested a script that watches a folder for any missing folders (team members kept moving them), and then showed it to the guy who was mentoring me. It did what it needed to, so we were going to switch it off the test directory on the local box to the network share.
I had been testing against the live folder for a couple of days, didn't notice, and didn't screw anything up. There was a, "good job you idiot," and he added it right to his big script that runs 24/7. FeelsGoodMan.jpg -
"I am really good at web stuff, but I've never heard of python" - guy at university.
Well I'm sure he will go far -
Ok…I know I’m a junior dev and all and I have to submit to my meh leads, but I want to put this guy on company wide BLAST for editing LIVE PRODUCTION CODE without telling literally anyone for MONTHS. Like how in the fuck do you think that’s a good idea?!?!2
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So there's this remote guy on my team that basically doesn't do much and when it does fucks up. This is a guy with a lot experience but it doesn't seem even give a fuck. He doesn't pay attention to standups and he has more time than me in the project but doesn't know that much about it. There are rare times when he gives good ideas. However this happena so rarely that it is awful to work with him.1
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I'm as nervous as a guy who just proposed.
I had been contributing to a vs code extension for more than 6 months now. And my contributions were good. Recently I put forth few plans for the development of the extension to the repo owner and he accepted it.
One of the ideas is to ask the owner of another similar repo to merge with us and help us make the best there is.
I had just sent a detailed mail to him and waiting for a reply. Hope he says yes 🙈 -
Purging my database before going into production.
Ah, I remember the user asdfdfdf with the password asdfASDF123 so well. Good guy.1 -
So apparently the Android emulator only works well on Intel processors
And there was me trying to be the good guy and buy AMD5 -
I've just recently finished a front-end, online one. As an experience it was awesome, I had contact not only with my mentor (great guy), but also with a lot of like-minded people. As a finishing touch we had a week of classes with an HR specialist to polish up our portfolio, CVs and to guide is through recruitment process. I can't really say much, as I'm still looking for a job, but I have a good feeling 'bout it all :)
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Well my good mate is sending me a message asking how to install a graphics card because his won't lock in...
Mind you, this is the guy who watched me build his pc, taught him how to do it, were both in the same TAFE class for information technology and his job is repairing computers and replacing parts... And I still can't find a job in IT -.- -
Even if he's a younger guy than most other examples, my mention is:
Jordan Walke
He's the inventor of React, which probably changed the way to write (web-)apps for a lot of people and was based on a prototype written in StandardML.
He's also created ReasonML which is not only in many ways a more fitting language to write React, but also a good systems language (props to OCaml and it's unbreakable type system). Many React concepts/patterns have their origins in functional language concepts, including reducers and hooks.3 -
so the Sales Guy emails Me that he needs something ccing the CEO of my company bypassing all the Managers under who I am currently working with ?
May be I should feel good he didn't cced the U.S. President :/1 -
Good to be back at work.
But kind of annoying when you check the server and it turns out that the 3rd Party API fell over and the guy responsible for it is still in holidays.. -
first experience with ios development and ios designer with xamarin.ios..
as an Android guy, I find yhe way apple make building UI too disturbing and not helping dev to do the job more fastly.
but anyway, it's a good opportunity -
My fucking god!! I swear if i meet the guy who implemented Array.reduce in javascript!! I'll tear his god damn head clean off and stuff it down his throat!!
From the spec: "if the initial value is omitted, the first value of the array is used instead and skipped"
WHO TF THOUGHT THIS WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA!?!!?!
One freaking hour that stuff cost me today RRREEEEEEEEEE
# rm -rf $JAVASCRIPT
Please and thank you!7 -
A.I. steals my job?
I guess the I.T. guy fixing things up is a good option.
In the mean time the A.I. will learn about devRant and start ranting about things we messed up. He will then lose faith and resign from continuing.
Gets the job back. -
So, if I do the work of two people, shouldn't I get two salaries?? Deadweight strikes again. Jesus tittyfucking Christ I'm about on my last nerve.. this guy sits on issues until they're critical, then they get passed to other people. Good for him, bad for everyone who's actually FUCKING WORKING AND EARNING THEIR GODDAMN KEEP REEEEEEEE
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Sometime last year I had an internship at a small company.
Test servers weren't a thing, and after local testing, it would go to production with a backup of the files that we would put back as soon as we notice something was broken or off.
We used symfony and sonata admin was part of the bundle.
One day, boss asks me to show all the items in a table on the admin page instead of 30 rows.
Me being good guy intern say "sure no problem" so after finding the magic number, I set it to 0 instead of 30.
I gave my work reviewed by my supervisor (senior dev there) and he approved it.
I try to upload the file over FTP. No permissions.
Ask the other dev what it's about, his response: "no idea"
So he tries, fails and decides to try SSH.
Somehow, after fiddling for 20 minutes with ssh, we managed to upload the file.
As soon as we did we hear a scream from the boss's office, we refresh the site, and no matter what page we went to, all we saw was white and the logo of the company in the top left corner.
So this time, we fiddled around with ssh to restore the file for 20 minutes.
Finally succeed all goed back to normal.
A little while later, we call a meeting with the bosses and ask to rewrite the website, BAM, we get approval.
We said "two weeks tops", well that lasted 3 months.
In the end bosses are Uber happy with the work and everything ended well.
Also, development speed has multiplied. -
I've had my share of both good and bad coworkers.
My best memories are definitely from the late 90's, early 2k's. The team I was a part of back then really had the best attitude. I particularly remember one of them, who ended up being a PM. He was always joking around, nothing was ever too serious to make fun of. He was an old school punk, and it did show. Although he was always professional in meetings with customers and when it mattered. If I'm not totally mistaken, he started a punk band in his fifties, where noone knew how to play or sing. Great guy!
In my current job, all the good and nice people are either quitting or bullied out of the company. I miss them. Sigh. -
Anyone know any good free courses to learn programming for a total beginner?
The guy who needs it is looking to work with JavaScript and Node eventually.3 -
Well I tried to start an startup a year ago but we had some troubles, but this week a friend of mine who is the guy that I share my idea to create the startup. We met and we are ready to work on that again. Wish me luck guys and if you are starting a startup, too. Good luck 😎 you can do it5
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I have trust issues because of my J-Music orientation. Why, you ask? Simple. I cannot trust the vocal.
For example... Reol, while sounding like a Vocaloid and is what I'd been seeing her as for quite a long while (1 year) because of her inhumanly-high-pitch sections turns out to be human. Welp. And almost at the same time I discovered that Yokomin, while have a human female vocal turns out to be a guy and a Vocaloid. And 5 days ago I found out Mafumafu is a guy, human, despite his high female vocal.
What. What the fuck? Do check them out though, their music is good (ie. not corporate pop)5 -
A guy on YouTube posted in a GraphQL tutorial about his CSS issue. He asked about why a certain background for a website that he is creating only looks good on a phone but not on his desktop. I asked him to put the code on either jsfiddle or codepen but he still put the code in the comments, only the CSS part. I kept telling him to place it on those two sites, eventually he did. I looked at the pen and guess what? The picture is a portrait one... He wants to use CSS to make it look good, I don't know how he is gonna achieve that but good luck. I am done with him, stopped commenting.3
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So we had a requirement to build some email templates and the guy who was working on that was unable to make some good one.
And I build kinda one and ........... They liked it.
(I'm not good at frontend things and they still liked it lol)
And now they are flooding me with loads of templates to make, and I must say building RESPONSIVE email templates is a fucking pain in the ass and takes a huge amount of time if you're new and your client has provided complex designs with shit loads of fonts which are not supported by half of the inboxes. Maybe I'm not familiar with it that's why.2 -
this sucker. Don't make me laugh. Yes, I know what place is that, and yes, I know many of those and most of them rip you off (tho they are good for anyone starting on anything) but no, I'm not interested, Mr. Shady Russian guy.
4 -
Getting the company to sit me down next to one of their teams for a couple of hours. Just see what they're doing. How work is managed, how code reviews are being done.
You want to hire me, not the other way around. But good luck in explaining this when you have to write a doubly linked list in pure C because some guy on a conference said that every dev needs to be able to do that. -
Today I was meeting with a researcher in my department so that I could show him how the software I developed works. He graduated from a really good university in electronic engineering, with 100/100 I think, and he can manage to copy&paste some python code. So I didn't expect what happened today.
Guy: 'So I have to give to your program as input this python file which contains a function you need to call, right?'
Me: 'Yep, I mean, that is a jupyter notebook, I need a text file containing only the function which is in that notebook'
Guy: *Downloads the notebook, tries to feed the notebook file into my program*
Me: 'Wait, don't, there probably is a lot of junk related to jupyter notebook, try opening it in notepad++'
Guy: *Opens file, sees a lot of junk text*
Me: 'Yeah, I thought so, you need to save it as plain text or .py'
Guy: *Renames the notebook as .txt*
Me: *Shakes my head without him noticing*
'That won't work, the content of the file won't change like that...' -
This is an actual transcript...
Since it's way too long for the normal 5000 characters, hence splitting it up...
Infra Guy: mr Dev, could you please give some rational for update of jjb?
Dev: sparse checkout support is missing
Infra Guy: is this support mandatory to achive whatever you trying to do?
Dev: yes
Infra Guy: u trying to get set of specific folder for set of specific components?
Dev: yes
Infra Guy: bash script with cp or mv will not work for you?
Dev: no
Infra Guy: ?
Dev: when you have already present functionality why reinvent the wheel
Dev: jenkins has support for it
Dev: the jjb is the bottle neck
Infra Guy: getting this functionality onto our infra would have some implications
Dev: why should I write bash script if jenkins allows me to do that
Dev: what implications ??
Infra Guy: will you commit to solve all the issues caused by new jjb?
Dev: you show me the implications first
Infra Guy: like a year ago i have tried to get new jjb <commit_url>
Infra Guy: no, the implications is a grey area
Infra Guy: i cant show all of them and they may hit like in week or eve month
Dev: then why was it not tackled
Dev: and why was it kept like that
Infra Guy: few jobs got broken on something
Dev: it will crop up some time later
Dev: if jobs get broken because of syntax
Dev: then jobs can be fixed
Dev: is it not ???
Infra Guy: ofc
Infra Guy: its just a question who will fix them
Dev: follow the syntax and follow the guidelines
Dev: put up a test server and try and lets see
Dev: you have a dev server
Dev: why not try on that one and see what all jobs fails
Dev: and why they fail
Dev: rather than saying it will fail and who will fix
Dev: let them fail and then lets find why
Dev: I manually define a job
Dev: I get it done
Infra Guy: i dont think we have test server which have the same workload and same attention as our prod
Dev: unless you test how would you know ??
Dev: and just saying that it broke one with a version hence I wont do it
Infra Guy: and im not sure if thats fair for us to deal with implication of upgrading of the major components just cause bash script is not good enough for u
Dev: its pretty bad
Infra Guy: i do agree
Infra TL Guy: Dev, what Infra Guy is saying is that its not possible to upgrade without downtime
Infra Guy: no
Dev: how long a downtime are we looking at ??
Infra Guy: im saying that after this upgrade we will have deal with consequences for long time
Infra Guy-2: No this is not testing the upgrade is the huge effort as we dont have dev resources to handle each job to run
Dev: if your jjb compiles all the yaml without error
Dev: I am not sure what consequences are we talking of
Infra Guy: so you think there will be no consequences, right?
Dev: unless you take the plunge will you know ??
Dev: you have a dev server running at port 9000
Infra Guy: this servers runs nothing
Dev: that is good
Dev: there you can take the risk
Infra Guy: and the fack we have managed to put something onto api doesnt mean it works
Dev: what API ?
Infra Guy: jenkins api
Infra Guy: hmmm
Dev: what have you put on Jenkins API ??
Infra Guy: (
Dev: jjb is a CLI
Infra Guy: ((
Dev: is what I understand
Dev: not a Jenkins API
Infra Guy: (((
Dev: (((((
Infra Guy: jjb build xmls and push them onto api
Infra Guy: and its doent matter
Dev: so you mean to say upgrading a CLI is goig to upgrade your core jenkisn API
Dev: give me a break
Infra Guy: the matter is that even if have managed to build something and put it onto api
Infra Guy: doesnt mean it will work
Dev: the API consumes the xml file and creates a job
Infra Guy: right
Dev: if it confirms to the options which it understands
Dev: then everything will work
Dev: I am actually not getting your point Infra Guy
Infra Guy: i do agree mr Dev
Dev: we are beating around the bush
Infra Guy: just want to be sure that if this upgrade will break something
Infra Guy: we will have a person who will fix it
Dev: that is what CICD is supposed to let me know with valid reasons
Dev: why can't that upgrade be done
Infra Guy: it can be done
Infra Guy: i even have commit in place3 -
Just got to know a good friend of my best friend who happens to be an it guy as well - he might move in with me soon - I somehow feel young again :)
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My team decided to do a MOB programming in one of our tickets.
New joiner: Perfect we did a mob yesterday .
Me: Great, that's good. How did it go?
New joiner: Well, we work together in the gaming room next to each other and trying to solve the issue. I think it's very productive.
Me: Awesome! Let's do it again today... When we started the MOB, all of them are using their own laptop. And I was like.. so, this is how you did the MOB yesterday?
New guy: Yes.
Me: This is not a MOB programming... MOB programming uses only 1 screen, 1 driver and everyone work together, will tell the driver what to do, we need to exchange the driver every 10 to 15 minutes, everyone can be a driver. (devs, qa, ux, product) and do a retro after.
New guy: ah.. wow! Interesting.3 -
Should i do hadoop big data course ? I am thinking of this summer to do on simplilearn. I am third year student undergraduate in IT. I am java guy and good in RDBMS.. Should i learn then?2
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So this is something that happened in the first year at college.
I was at one of the top 50 engineering colleges in my country. To get admission here one needs to get a good score in the qualifying exams.
Now we had a cs related course in the first year which covered basic programming and coding concepts.
So in the first practical session we had to just write a hello world program in C.
The guy next to me for this session was the class topper who had secured the highest marks in the qualifying exams.
Now, as most of us know that program has a line that is:
printf("Hello World!"); or a variant of this.
This guy gets stuck while writing this line, so I ask him if I can help him.
He turns to me and said, " Man, I'm trying to get this comma to go up but it's not working"
Extremely confused I look at his terminal, only to realize that he was pressing shift+, and trying to get the " sign.
That guy went on to finish with a 4.0 gpa and is currently doing his masters.
Although hilarious, this serves as a very good lesson to all the beginners out here.
If you learn from your mistakes and improve you can definitely succeed in your life!
Just remember to actually look at the full keyboard though!
1 -
The guy who's good in communication and always failed on logic and code building has a pic of Steve Jobs in his wallet
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I think mine is a bit cliched! All my relatives let alone mom and dad thought I only play games, while I was infact gaining knowledge. Obviously, much more needed, but I think I can say that I did good for a guy who didn't even have a PC till the first year of my bachelor's degree!1
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Do any of you feel you have never achieved anything in life? I am kind of feeling that :(
I want to accomplish something. Anything that i could be proud of or be happy about . I sometimes look into my past and just feel sad.
I guess I won't find a lot people like me. Everyone has something to be proud of.
Someone might have a good school percentage, a good college, a non academic prize in debate or drama, a good score in some online platform, a love partner , good physique, a nice app with 10k+ installs , a popular blog or other talents. I got none of those :/
Everyone is proud of something. How can i be proud of anything ? It's so frustrating every time i open my mouth to give opinion about anything, because i am 21 and i have lived my whole life just... Living
Because most of the time these achievements later turn to be not much. There is always an option to "just pass" or "submit the assignment late" or "take a smaller package" or simply be average.
No one asks high school marks in any interview now , a guy with 70% and a guy with 95 % are considered equal.
But at that time, i just spent the day as my usual when the results came out and my friend with 95% got a new bike , and had his parents and relatives congratulate him all day. I don't worry of my marks, but now 4 years later he might have a happy moment to look back but i don't :/4 -
So I've been in a new job(in a nearshore company) for roughly 2 months, and has been a marvelous experience. They hire constantly and for me that's a good sign but welp.
Today I got a message in linkedin from an unknown guy who applied to a mobile job offer, asking me if I could recommend him for the opening. From one side I feel awkward, I don't know the guy, his skills, his drive for learning and from other side I know how hard can be to land a job, but asking a stranger to get a recommendation... First time that happened to me, I don't know if the guy is at the end of the rope or is just trying to get the easy path.
PS: at this very moment in the company, I barely know the hiring and management people at the company 🤷♀️1 -
Made a wonderful and good working module for a server. A few days later the jar file got renamed to a .BAK file. From the stacktrace I figured out itd be the configuration file (Json) that was crashing. Guy wouldnt send the config. Told him the problem but he ignored me.
Three days later he came up to me that he forgot a comma at the line end.
Ffs. -
When you discover a rather big security flaw in a mate code and your boss tell you that he might fix it for "version 2", for now we are good. Wtf, we are just hurting ourselves if this shit gets discovered by some other guy.
We are developing an android app for management and selling, for other company and we are a litte short in time for finishing the first version, but fuck, its a big security flaw. -
Nothing says asshole like a guy who won't approve your MR even though the feature is working but they prefer implementing it using their preferred approach.
Different coding styles for different folks. What matters is that the approach used is efficient, working and tested. But oh no, you have to write the code exactly how they want it.
Good thing we're free to merge our own MR when the reviewer takes more than two days to merge it.4 -
Best dev experience...a colleague who was my team lead when I joined a company as a "from-scratch" PHP developer, and gave me a ton of tips, assistance, encouragement and praise along the way. And for the bits that were not so good (on my part), he gave me constructive criticism delivered in a friendly and helpful way rather than chew me out.
And when the boss(es) of the company talked shit behind my back in meetings I was not invited to, about things they had no clue about (my performance as a developer)) he defended me and set the record straight.
Later he was demoted from team lead for office politics reasons. But was doing the same job as before, for less pay. Never complained.
His job consisted of, all at once, being the company IT/server/printer guy, first line customer support over phone and remote desktop, .NET and PHP developer, course holder to teach our customers how to use our product, and mentor to me.
Good guy. I'd give him a ++ if I could. -
Are there any risk in running Duel Boot (Windows 7 & Ubuntu) at the same time? Are there good tutorial you can provide? I wanna be linux guy. Kinda confused!8
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good guy pexel allows me to insert free random kitten pictures as an easter egg, retrieving all by a tidy api. made my day.
no affiliation, only gratitude. -
Hi friends, I would like to ask someone who is more experienced in the field than me about C# and web development.
I am currently just a front end guy, with no real experience in back end - but I've been learning C# for game development with Unity for some time and wanted to ask if c# could be a nice direction for my back end learning?
Is it viable, good?
Any advice is highly appreciated ☺3 -
Till today, me along with another one guy were the only Tux users in the office. Just now, one of my colleague saw how easily and quickly I get various tasks done and got impressed. He said he is getting a new laptop next week and wants this. He is already frustrated with the lag in Windows and the infamous Windows updates. I gave him a pretty good review and he asked me if I could help him install Ubuntu on his new laptop when he gets it 😃
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A new guy joined my team two months ago he is more experienced than I am, but his knowledge yet is not good enough for our project. He is on live project working with me on a feature. I have major trust issues right now. How do people handle that in your teams?3
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Honestly I've had good luck, every single boss I've ever had has been great up until the most recent project manager (not people manager) at my latest consultant gig.
Guy was 60+, had the mindset that NOTHING can get done without a meeting, and that your ass in a seat is the most important metric of true productivity.
Coming from a mostly remote background with 50% travel, this was a huge pain in the neck to deal with for the last 2 months.
Luckily he's gone now (no one liked him...who would have thought). -
A self-proclaimed 'Technical Architect' who didn't understand how Objects behaved in Java. The same guy also decided it was a good idea to check a config file for each environment into git, instead of using dependency injection like we had done everywhere else.
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today I was explaining a non tech guy , how 2 mobiles communicate with each other via a server. It started of really good. Then I got to know that what I was speaking was looking like Greek to him. This made it very clear that explaining things are also a difficult job1
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Guys, how do you structure branching in an enterprise project?
We're using git, managers are MIA, I'm basically helping another new guy kick off and maintain the projects that we have.
What would be a good branching strategy? Front end and backend in the same project, 5 man team in the future.2 -
Dear real estate industry,
if you define a horrible exchange format as CSV file. Then fucking stick to that specification or give me access to your horrible 90s style tooling so I can at least figure out why every crap tool exports in a slightly different way.
How in the world am I supposed to map your data if you keep changing the field count (which is the only way of validating an exported file).
You pretend to be innovative by specifying an industry wide standard but you aren't able to stick to it.
Fuck you, and the one guy "developing" the specification. Seriously... One guy has the responsibility? Do you really think that's a good idea.
Get your shit together!
Yours,
every developer working in your industry1 -
Really appreciated the first professor of front end developement. He was very helpful and his teaching always very detailed. Always looked forward to his class. Heard he is working for the army intelligence now. Definitely gonna buy him a beer if I see him again, I owe him that much.
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Why is it, that #Java Spring AOP are this stupid:
When accessing parameters at a joined method, it is not guaranteed, that they are in the right order.
Some guy thought it would be a good idea to use fcking "System.arrayCopy" because of performance during dependency injection-based aspect-oriented programming.
Roast me but when doing give me a solution to get the right ordered args. -
Spent downtime during testing passing papers with this dude in my class working on an app. Pretty chill guy imo.
Good day. -
So remember rant from yesterday about Go plugins? Well turns out that a new version of Traefik was just released with plugins based on Yaegi!
"It can't all be good news" you say, suddenly paying attention. You're right, their implementation is a bit weird and I don't fully understand it... So I've decided to try to ask for help from the guy who wrote the feature, let's see if he responds... -
Is it just me that would prefer to work with Senior Engineers rather than mid level engineers?
Some mid level engineers are just pain in the ass. This one guy insist on getting perfection in all of the requirements. The problem is that if you work with software/lib for so long, you realize that most if not all software are buggy or have limitations.You can't expect everything to be perfect. Sometimes something just works/don't work and nobody knows why. Need lots of shortcuts/hacks just to make it work. I would say that 80% completion is good enough, especially since we're running out of time and manpower.
I noticed that Senior Engineers tend to be less strict. If it works then it's good enough, if we found some bugs later then we'll fix it. I like this practicality so we can tackle more important issues at hand.
I hope that I don't have to work in the same project with this guy again.2 -
Hey there Ranters,
So I am big film and video guy. I was wondering what good IT shows you guys watching. My all time favorite is The IT Crowd. Most recent show i am watching is Silicon Valley.
Any suggestions?10 -
I was never good copying in exams, so that seemed fine for me because what I get is what I know.
But now I'm not good in copy-pasting work from others... fuuuuck, these dudes are like "copy these, modify it, we want a working frontend mockup in 1 hour"
I fucking told you I'm a backend guy!!! NOT FRONTEND!1 -
tl;dr How do I deal with translations?
Chinese users asked for translations for ages, one guy did it all, but then? I needed to update the app, I had added some new strings, the guy didn't replayed. Obviously, as I didn't wanted to pay, I've used Google Translate. Result? "Good app, but the translations are wrong.", nice!
What can I do? Do I remove the Chinese translation and tell them to fuck off?2 -
I don't know about tinkepop but neo4j is the slowest fucking thing I have ever ran on my desktop, their fucking java based browser included.
and btw THAT is the reason I down Java apps, they're fucking slow most of the time !
https://saashub.com/compare-apache-...
Is that an aspect of graph databases ? slowness ?
according this guy yes.
https://memgraph.com/blog/...
except for specific tree traversals which makes me wonder what kind of things theyd be good for. -
Anyone know any good free courses to learn programming for a total beginner?
The guy who needs it is looking to work with JavaScript and Node eventually. -
I got to create the data platform with Azure Data Factory. I am new to data platform.
Any advise on what to look out for?
Could you guy please tell me if you know any good use case I can look at or any obvious pitfall which drain all the credit and so on?
I just a vague idea of what Azure data factory can do.4 -
New guy taking over senior software developer since the last one seemed to burn out / got tired of all the bullshit. His coming replacement has a habit of making 'software walkthroughs' for every repository we have. The project organization is so badly managed and we only ever work on requirements when we have something concrete. After Outlook-declining one of the walkthroughs I get this little gem from him in an IM:
Guy: <Old Snr Dev> felt that you built the base for it and it would be good if you are there as you might take it forward is what <Manager> told me
Me: yeh but it is like so straightforward
and basically there are other projects on github which do the exact same thing
Guy: okay, just that I have not seen the code yet. Or anyone else to take it forward
Me: i think - go through it when you need to
if there are problems, then ask
WTF? You didn't even check it yourself and you want me to handhold you as a senior software developer? Totally nuts.2 -
So this guy, I had a very good connection with someone after so long. I really don't think that someone else will turn out to be this good.
He said he doesn't want marriage ever. He explained himself logically, I understand that too. I, on the other hand, I feel the same about marriage but still want to give it a try.
He is sensible and knows what he is saying, he's 34.
Should I try to convince him? or should I move on?I know it's a big to ask from strangers but looking for some new things to hear.8 -
Any good algo book for a guy who's managed to read C Primer Plus and Learning Python? With math really explained. He's bad in math.7
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Hello guy who develop the internal library I'm using
Just so you know, no, "idString" is not a cool name for ppl to know what they should use when you have dozens of differents ids.
And no documentation makes it less likeable.
Have a good day, you're making mine being horrible3 -
Well, there is this one video online of some guy who made his own website out of PHP and MySQL (https://youtu.be/lomppRPkeFE) . Good old me didn't care about how we were both noobs that didn't care how cringey the site was. The site had so many vulnerabilities and looked so much like a 90s forum, I offered to help the guy out on a common quest to make an epic website. 2.5 years later and that quest is still in progress today. We actually remade the site too (https://www.novanius.com)1
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Trying to set schedule availability on McDonalds UK 'peoplestuffuk[dot]com' fails in chrome, with annoying alert boxes.
Turns out it is developed for IE..
2 -
The professor that made us use ada. This course was in 2018. Not useful to real world and also hard af. Was a great professor good at teaching and a great guy - just the course was hard as fuck and if you were struggling it was hard to find resources.
-
So... the guy from my last rant completely screwed up a site he'd been working on for our company (blaming the web hosters for their "shitty config" while it was just an error in his .htaccess).
He then proceeded to do it all from scratch (instead of using already existing stuff like he did before).
He asked me to help him out.
I put as conditions that we where going to do it "my" way, with the tools I am pushing at work (Docker, Git, CakePHP and Sass).
He rejected it (as always) saying: "I don't care if the site looks good or works good, I just want something out of the door ASAP".
So I declined because I just can't work with that mentality.
He asked an intern (of which he actually has no saying but w/e) whom barely understands the basics of HTML and CSS to help him out.
Intern agreed and they started working on it.
Two weeks in and the guy takes a nice two week holiday, leaving the intern all by himself :)
something something "I want it out of the door asap"... -
Okay you AI Gurus! I am interested in using voice cloning to make characters that sound like me and other people. I don't know anything about how this works, but I did find one company that does it fairly cheap: https://beta.elevenlabs.io/pricing Some guy on r/Skyrim used that company to produce a guard from the game reading a book about the Dragonborn. It sounded really good! https://reddit.com/r/skyrim/...
Are there some other places I should look into? I would like to do voices that sound good, but are kind of generic. I also don't get how you would go about making them react emotionally to a situation. Perhaps I need to create voices that are excited, angry, etc versus calm.
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