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CEO: You need to use git.
Designer: No
CEO: You can backup stuff.
Designer: No
CEO: You don't have to save copies!
Designer: No
CEO: You will use a really cool command line!
Designer: No
CEO: It has unlimited storage
Designer: So when we start?19 -
*at my study a year or longer ago*
Classmate: hey linuxxx, could you come take a look? What is this? *points at screen towards some code*
Me: you don't see it?!
Cm: no...?!
Me: you really don't see it?!
Cm: no!!?
Me: no for real, do you *REALLY* not see it?!
Cm: NO! TELL ME ALREADY!
Me: that's a screen 😊
Cm: 😑😠
😅10 -
Sometimes you run your code,
it doesn't work, so you run it again,
it works
Sometimes you open your fridge,
no food inside, so you close and open it again,
still no food inside12 -
IT: Hi, how can I help?
User: Hi, I can't get onto the wifi / internet, my computer says "No Signal".
IT: Hm, we don't have wifi, your on a cable, what exactly is saying no signal?
User: Its just on the screen here.
IT: No but where, are you inside a browser, or is it a popup down the bottom corner?
User: No I haven't got that far yet, it just says no signal on a black screen, then it flashes and says no signal in another position.
IT: ...... did you turn on your computer after turning on the monitor ... thats the screen saying no signal from the computer.
User: ah yep, thats it, thanks!3 -
Person: HTML is a programming language
Me: No it's not
Person: Yes it is it can compute things
Me: No it can't, and what do you mean?
Person: Have you ever heard of a script tag
Me: That's not fucking HTML that's JavaScript.14 -
No, I'm not hacking.
No Linux is not a movie.
No, you are not a developer because you can put "Hello World" on a website.
No, this isn't a waste of my time.
Yes, I will use it.
Yes, I'll make you a website for free. NOT!
Your phone is both Android and Samsung.
No, what they did in the movie is impossible.
No, I can't predict the stock market.
No, I'm not Mr. Robot, but I know him...4 -
When your colleagues have no tests for their code and tell you not to touch it, because it WORKS!
14 -
Oh no, it seems that one of my websites is down :'(
https://thedown.website
Looks like it needs a hug 😥19 -
Every time I hear "if it's stupid but it works..."
NO Fucking No!!!
If you know that it's stupid you should fucking correct it!!!
21 -
My former boss kept insisting "we need deeper fonts!"
Me: do you mean darker?
Boss: no, deeper!
Me: do you want me to make it bold?
Boss: no, deeper!!
12 -
Professor refers to Linus Torvalds as the most arrogant developer. Says no one uses Git and thinks it has no advantages over SVN. Forces us to use SVN. :'(21
-
How do you tell HTML from HTML5?
- try it out in Internet Explorer
- did it work?
- no?
- it's HTML53 -
It displays a -1 whenever it is not working. There is no basement.
Reminds me of some configuration files.
7 -
Slowbro: Do you have time tonight?
Me: No sorry, I can't stay late tonight, I have a thing with my wife.
S: Oh yeah, I'm not staying late either.
M: Oh, so what do you want?
S: Can you help me install linux?
M: Uh no, I can't stay late -
S: No, no you don't have to stay, you can do it from home.
M: What? No I don't have time tonight. Wait you want me to take your computer home?
S: No, no I need to use my computer tonight.
M: So... What do you want me to do?
S: You can do it on your computer.
M: You want me to install an OS on your computer, but on my computer??
S: No, no *sigh* just try it on your computer so we know it will work on my computer. It is a proof of principle.
M: Reinstall my OS?
S: As a proof of principle. So tomorrow when we do it on my computer, we need not waste any time.
M: ... No I'm not going to reinstall my OS just as a test for you.
S: Not a test, a proof of principle.
M: What are you.. I'm sorry, I don't have time for this tonight.
S: Just a proof of principle!!
M: Ok see you.11 -
Got very little sleep last night, not in a great mood to begin with. Came into work to find someone borrowed one of my cables that I need and hasn't returned it. It was wrapped around a few things to keep it tidy, all of which have been moved, stretched, bent etc. Now my battery is running low and he has emailed to say won't be in for 30 minutes.
Think the only reasonable course of action in a just world, is for me to strangle him with the cable when he gets in. I mean come on, whats the alternative? Still haven't gotten that pen back from last year ... this place is going downhill fast!8 -
Don't be ridiculous and say Mac's are good for gaming 😣, they aren't.
Their graphics are terrible CPUs are shocking ram ... Average the fact they have fast ssds is great
But that's it. For their price points it's not worth it end of story
I used to say Mac's are worth getting if your a designer or video editor...
I have now changed my position due to the shittyness of their latest products
I'm not really much of a gamer anymore to busy 😓 but I can read specs.
People won't build games for Mac's especially now it will lower the quality of their product. I actually don't even see a point of having a Mac in today's world.
Apple are meant to push boundaries ... They are doing it all wrong now 😐
Accept it... And get a PC 5 times faster then their apple counterparts
I do fucking hate apple but I respected them in the past, if nothing but their clever marketing getting sheep to buy their products . Now I just don't respect them, they could at least try to build something remotely worth the money20 -
THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A "MINI APP" AND NO, JUST BECAUSE YOU THREW A "MINI" IN FRONT OF IT, IT DOESN'T MAKE IT ANY EASIER TO DEVELOP3
-
Hello, I just want to let you know I'm working on a 15 year old product and it is currently in production.
It uses Angular.js and one of the earliest versions of React.js. I cannot use ES6, we don't have Babel, no JSX syntax, no CSS preprocessor. No webpack.
I must support browser since IE6 with an ES3 syntax. (luckily I got some some polyfills for an ES5 syntax)
When I build a component I have to call React.createClass and React.createElement.
The render() function is basically a nested pile of React.createElement.
There is no documentation for this product, no tests, no anything.
I had to reverse engineer it in order to understand how it works.
The code base uses mixed programming styles and naming conventions, plus thousands of little js files.
Oh and obviously no hot reload, every time I make a change I have to restart everything.
Please, send help.
I'm in danger.
Sincerely,
An underpaid developer
....
I'm not crying, you are crying...19 -
- Hey it's lunch time!
- Yeah let me push these changes...
- No! You'll do it later.
- But, it will take 2 minutes!
- NO! WE'RE HAVING LUNCH NOW.
Windows crashes ._.3 -
To IT: I can no longer clone GitHub repos from the command line.
From IT… Hello DevOps engineer…. You’re no longer allowed to use port 22. It’s not safe. All traffic must be port 443.
Really!?8 -
Noob: I hate $foo language! It sucks!
Me: Have you used the language before?
Noob: no because it sucks!
Me: have you tried using it?
Noob: no because it sucks!
Me: so how do you know it sucks?
Noob: because all my friends that use $baaa says it sucks.
Me: ........ I see your point... sheep 🐑8 -
Let's build a house with no blueprint, no idea how it should look but have daily meetings about the bathroom... #Scrum3
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Me: ooh my eyes hearts, I have to sleep now, I fix this tomorrow morning.
(go to sleep)
Inner Me: hey
Me: ...
Inner Me: pisst! wake up
Me: what?? leave me alone I'm tired
Inner Me: remember that issue you had?
Me: yes?
Inner Me: this is how you can solve it
Me: great thanks, I'll fix it later
Inner Me: no no you have to fix it now
Me: I'm tired, I'll fix it first thing in the morning
Inner Me: no no you'll forgot it
Me: no I won't, let me sleep
Inner Me: no no you'll forget and I won't tell you again
Me: look I write it down in my phone now leave me alone
Inner Me: no no you have to fix it now.
Me: *crying* for God sake...
(gets out of bed and try to turn on PC and it's not starting, realizing that the power is out)
Me: you happy now, I fix it tomorrow.
Inner Me: no no stay awake till power is back on.
Me: SHUT THE FICN ON PICK OF CRAPE. Did SHDUHDBD DBDJDB3 -
Craziest deadline I've ever had...
Task: Patch 193 machines
Environment:
- no configuration/patch management
- no knowledge of the machines
- no contact info/application owners
...timeframe...do it today!
Here's the winner...do we have credentials for these machines? Ha, nope.6 -
1) no more "can you fix my printer?"
2) no more "but you're the IT guy!"
3) no more "can you fix my printer?"4 -
Using Eclipse for java programming.
My program doesn't work... No errors, no warnings, the logic seems good.
A couple of hours of debugging later still nothing.
I close it and open it again, it works, thanks Eclipse.5 -
- Did someone tested it on our test machines?
- No there was no time to do this.
*preparing for nuclear fallout from customer in 3..2..1..*3 -
I'm holding a programming class today, it's an open-door event, so anyone can come and try it out.
Nothing too much, just basic things.
I've been holding it for 30 min... To no one... No one showed up...7 -
Boss: We need health data for this iOS app.
Me: Cool, so we'll use apples HealthKit.
Boss: No that requires the user agrees to it.
Me: ... well yeah ... its private data.
Boss: No we need it to work regardless. If the user says no to HealthKit, just give them textfields for all the metrics HealthKit has and they can enter manually.
Me: .... but ... eh ....
Boss: and we'll partner with some companies and support their devices.
Me: ... see, the thing is ...
Boss: We also need to store it locally and then sync it to the cloud app. What do you think?
Me: ... ... ... no2 -
I just experienced the opposite of rant.
I spent 1 entire day ranting about a algorithm I couldn't write with no issues, it occupied all my mind and got me pissed of.
And today, I rewrote it entirely, and it works perfectly everywhere.
I was like : "No it can't work here. Oh ok", "And here's the bug ! No ? Nice.", "Don't tell me it'll work here. I'm a God".
That's why I love being a dev :D
Thank you, you freaking problem I had !7 -
- Let's use jquery to fix this
- No
- But it will work just fine
- I'd rather re-write the code and not use jquery in an angular project
- ...
- NO!10 -
My JS function is now lazy loading, expressive, and uses 12 fewer lines of code! 😃
It no longer works, but
... no one is perfect. 😅3 -
Just updated to the latest insider build for Windows 10.. left PC unattended and came back later and it was ready... no BSODs, no random crashes, no issues, nothing... it just works as expected...
I can hear Linux fanatics screaming after reading this 😂
FUCK all this Windows stereotypes BS going on here13 -
I am going to create a new language called Yoda that is identical to Java but it has no exception handling and no for loops.
6 -
You have a question.
You google it; nothing comes up.
You read the documentation; no good.
You ask it on stackoverflow; no answer.
You are in... The Twilight Zone4 -
me, when someone yells at me for not able to resolve an "electronic" issue because I'm pursuing a computer science degree
2 -
No, it's not damaged. Yes, it most definitely can be opened. No, I should not move it to the trash, because I want to open it.
Quit your bullshit Apple and stop telling me what I should do.
4 -
++++++++[>+>++>+++>++++>+++++>++++++>+++++++>++++++++>+++++++++>++++++++++>+++++++++++>++++++++++++>+++++++++++++>++++++++++++++>+++++++++++++++>++++++++++++++++<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<-]>>>>>>>>>>>-.+<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>-.+<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>++.--<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>+++.---<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>+.-<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>--.++<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>-.+<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>.<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>+.-<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>----.++++<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>----.++++<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>.<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>----.++++<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>.<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>---.+++<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>.<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>----.++++<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>+.-<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>---.+++<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>---.+++<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>.<<<<.6
-
MS paint is going away...
Wait no it's not...
SHUT UP! No one cares about paint. No one even uses it anyways. And no, because you opened it twice last year to crop a screenshot does not count as using it.15 -
IT != Help Desk
Yes I'm in IT (I'm a software developer). No I cannot fix Outlook not opening for you.11 -
Last week I was erasing a 2Gb USB thumb while copying some really important shit to my backup disk. I look at the terminal and see it's taking a lot of time to did zeroes on dev/sdb.
Then I realized that dev/sdb is the backups drive and I just erased the firsts sectors of my only fucking backup.
It's ok, I said, let's see what can TestDisk do for me. And it only could find an empty sad partition that had useless shit on it. Whdd couldn't even find the drive. Cat and dd vomited 160Gb of nothing to a file that couldn't be read. I was lost, because I failed doing something I'm really good at. And I did it because I was to stupid to check fstab...
It's the very first time I couldn't recover data, so I'm thinking about delete "Data recovery" from my resume skills and put "Data cleaning. Really effective. I can send you 160Gb of pure horse shit to prove it" instead.2 -
>spends two hours adding a cool feature
>no one's using it
>nah, it's cool. it took me like 5 minutes anyways... -
DevRant setting says "Join the Dark Side?"
No no no...It's 2017, shouldn't it be called the "Other Side"? Apparently a bunch of monkeys get offended by every single damn thing.
Grow TF up, ya Monkeys.5 -
In an unexpected turn of events, it appears as if years of choosing fancy bullshit over code maintainability will cause said fancy bullshit to eventually break and no obvious way to fix it. There's no way anyone would have seen this one coming.3
-
2 days until I leave my job and I am assigned a large, legal requirement task to complete, with no time to plan or opportunity to hand over the work. No way it will be done in time, and no teamwork, so no one else will be up to speed on it when I leave, and I daresay I'll be blamed for it not working to their 2 sentence specification! Yup, that's why I'm leaving folks!1
-
Me: eh probably shouldn’t push to prod on Friday, maybe not even before the first...
Co worker: no balls
Me:
-
So my mom says her printer isn't working anymore. I sit and battle with drivers and mysteriously missing virtual usb ports for two hours, give up, we decide to buy a new printer.
Next day she says her scanner isn't working either.
It's only then that I notice her USB hub cable is unplugged.. aargh. -
me: "my code works"
him: "no it doesnt, it crashes"
me: "..but it works on mine......"
and then i have to redo it again1 -
No. Just no. The null pointer exception didn't come from my DB, it came from your Java code, so go away and fix it.2
-
Imagine
websites didn't use unnecessary cookies,
JavaScript was only used when needed,
no trackers, no ads, no telemetry, no user
data saved when it doesn't benefit the user.
*Wakes up in cold sweat*9 -
I hate people who dog on wsl
Windows subsystem Linux
I use it. It has been wonderful. No problems that Google couldn't fix. Always a patch or an update.
And I can use Windows just fine.
No dual boot needed, no bullshit wine needed, no having to do without Photoshop
There,.. I'm out of the closet
My uncle showed me how to use it ok mom and dad
I'm starting a wsl parade who's in7 -
"Yeah, I got your e-mail, I see the subject. Oh no, dude, it says urgent so it went straight to the URGENT queue. Yeah? Ah. Sure, I'll get to it as soon as I get through the ASAP, NOW and YESTERDAY queues. Well, if you wanted me to read it right away you should've say there's NO HURRY - I read only one no-hurry e-mail a day but there's currently 0 tasks on that queue."
-
I just bought hitgub.co
Honestly have no regerts about it.
Idk what to do with it, but I'll figure it out.
11 -
I solemnly swear I won't help anyone no more.
I solemnly swear I won't help anyone no more.
I solemnly swear I won't help anyone no more.
I solemnly swear I won't help anyone no more.
I solemnly swear I won't help anyone no more.
I solemnly swear I won't help anyone no more.
I solemnly swear I won't help anyone no more.
(Fucking bitch dragged me till 3 A.M, NO SHE'S NOT WORTH IT)3 -
Client writes a bug report: This and that doesn't work.
Me: This functionality never was implemented. Please open a feature request.
Client: But this is a bug. Without this feature, the service won't work as we expect.
Me: But this wasn't in the requirements for release. So you have to contact the PM for a feature request.
Client: THIS IS A BUG! FIX IT!
Me: GO FUCK YOURSELF! THIS IS A NEW FEATURE AND YOU HAVE TO PAY FOR IT!
Unfortunately, I never sent the mail. But I kept it in the drafts. Maybe someday...1 -
Tried mx 17 linux today. Was completely blown away by how fucking good the system is. I am really tempted to nuke my windows installation in one of my computers and just run this baby from it. Nothing is really holding me back from it. I already have two other macs and another ubuntu laptop. Can think of a reason why i would need windows at this time but i am still hesitant.
Plus...i am taking on a big rails project.....might be good to have this thing set up for it as are the other two macs. Mmmmmhmm decissions decissions.
What do y'all think? Yes or nah?4 -
Added a new feature. Saw no traffic. Removed it thinking no one liked it. Receive a bunch of angry emails.
I forgot to tag shit properly. FML. -
I had no idea of how to implement the logic of a ticket. That's why I started with creating some unit tests that failed. Then I continued working until they all passed.
So it works now.
I have still no idea of how I implemented the logic.3 -
Click on `Share on Facebook` button. But then discards it when u realize that no one will like it.2
-
No users found with username @devrant
Is it unavailable or no one ever came up with having it as username?21 -
Fuck, I only need to hire ONE fullstack developer who fucking knows what he's talking about and not trying to weasel their way into this job. I tell them that there are no annoying managers, no KPI, no bullshit, I thought this is kinda valuable, but no
How hard can it be?25 -
Why would anybody use dynamically typed languages? I mean it is lot safer to use static languages, no? No weird bugs, no weird outputs...
How they manage to write such big applications in dynamical languages?17 -
Well paid java dev. But the HW/SW-Stack is awful.
Monitor: single 1600x1024
5yr old notebook, old i5, magnetic hdd
Forced to use windows 7
No maven server
No CI server
SVN but no git
Eclipse, no intelliJ
No sonar server
There are days where I just can't take it anymore.11 -
1. Post a question on stack overflow
2. No one answers
3. Think yourself -- Is it tough / unsolvable / dumb ?
No low hanging fruits in life4 -
Nothing more depressing than a response like "No, no, no, we can't remove this old code. It doesn't matter that there's 0 references as of 3 years ago"3
-
"I don't like it. Fix it."
No more explanation available. Plenty of constructive criticism to work on there then... -
apparently my bank's password length limit of 10,000 is too much for paypal's app to handle and it fucking imploded. sadly, no screenshots were allowed by the app, but it fucking broke so hard it spat logs and shit at me with no formatting or anything. it was NUTS dude8
-
When they want to take a business critical app that is using Enterprise Oracle running on Exadata, and move it to community Postgres running on Amazon RDS, because "it will be in the Cloud, and it will save us money..." No, no it won't.2
-
You know what's fucking horrible?
Implementing new features to an Android app in production that another dev wrote...
...which has no architecture, no documentation, no modularity, no testability, everything runs on the UI thread, filled with spaghetti code and it somehow works smoothely so I have to not fuck it up.
Oh and I'm also a junior. So fuck me, right?1 -
Fuck, fucking cock sucking stupid ass prick of a little black box, why, why the fuck do you not fucking boot any more, all you have to do is fucking boot but no, that's to much for you to fucking do!
Ah well, good thing it's only a Rpi!
It had a good life, now to wipe the card and start again! I1 -
"This page looks better in the app"
No, it f**king doesn't! I checked it, you lazy analytics-hungry monstrosity.1 -
web dev agency makes a job ad that fits exactly my skill set.
*send an email in a good form with resume and everything*
No acceptance, no decline, no "we'll look at it", just nothing...
just fucking die already -_ -4 -
Is apple a fruit? Yes.
Is orange a fruit? Yes.
Is apple an orange? No.
Does apple equal a fruit? No.
Does orange equal a fruit? No.
If you're capable of understanding this, then WHY IS IT IT SO DAMN HARD TO UNDERSTAND 0 == ""?11 -
So my gf just told me she saw a video where YouTube claimed it had no sound - with sound.
I didn't believe her at first.. see for yourself
https://youtu.be/lghQ0PxUOUk
6 -
We've all seen bad code in our time. The code I'm currently looking at needs to die horribly in a fire. In fact, that doesn't even seem extreme enough for this monstrosity
-
"Did you test it?"
"I can't remember"
For this question, Yes = yes, everything else is no, people just don't get it.1 -
It had been too long that I had a nightmare that I wished I never had. I had one this early morning.
I was in a foreign metropolitan city with public transport trains, skyscrapers and everything. I had no phone, no cash, no card. I could have asked help from the people I see on the street but in the dream I missed that notion. I was fine for first few hours (dream time) walking along just by myself and gradually the panic mood sunk in. I was alone with no help right in the middle of broad day light among people at a busy city.
Now that I have written it down, it doesn't sound that scary at all. There was no ghost nor paranormal activity involved, no accident, no scary height, no fire, no drowning, nothing really scary at all.
I was totally scared shitless in that dream though.4 -
How do you tell HTML from HTML5?
Ans:
*Try it out in Internet Explorer
*Did it work?
* No?
* It's HTML52 -
Bug - if it is reproducible, then it can be fixed with no time.
But it is never gonna be that easy 😂
-
Chrome blocked TheGreatSuspender yesterday. All the Chrome installations got that extension removed.
My chrome:
300-400 tabs (in total): *poof*15 -
I received a computer to work on for work and needed a knife to open the box. That's when my coworker pulled out this nugget of wisdom:
Coworker: My knife has a knife on it.
Me: Really?! Who would've thought?4 -
Chief Software Engineer: "There is no way this has ever worked."
Me: "Did you try it?"
CSO: "No."
CSO: tries it.
CSO: "Nevermind"
CSO: Hangs up abruptly. -
Oriented Object design class today, introducing inheritance with squares-rectangles and circles-ellipses.
No don't do that.
It's the worst example ever. It does not work. Just no, stop3 -
My phone just died. Got a new phone on recommendation of friends and flash Jolla on it. The OS is super nice but the "Android support" doesnt work. No lastpass, no netflix, no prime, signal works half, no banking app.
I really need my windows phone back. It just worked without issues. After two android phones and now a Jolla in about two years im kinda done with all this shit.14 -
Here in Spain instead of calling it CS we use the term "Informática", which is closer to the broader IT. Which means that hyped me enrolled in all the "Informática" courses since high school, only to be shot in the face by yet another "Let's learn PowerPoint" course. I honestly hate that.
I've been giving small courses (one week long) to kids at age 12-16 about real programming, starting from scratch to real-world arduino or Java, because that is what I hoped I would have found at their age.1 -
New years resolution: no more tech support period. No one appreciates it and if anything breaks in the future youre expected to fix it. Lol, no thanks2
-
Hetzner. Very cheap no nagging, no support bullshit, Lots of options, Just does what it does.
Did I mention their pricing?6 -
I hate android studio. No wait i love it. No i hate it. Can't seem to make up my mind about it. Its slow, kills my computers performance, messy interface. But despite that it's something appealing about it. Everything seems to be avaliable for previewing as one work.. aaand then it breaks my computer and I hate it again..3
-
"What in the name of hell? Why? No.. absolutely not. Jeeeesus. Holy cow!! Haha.. that's funny. No friggin way! Oh that makes sense..wait, that makes no sense. Screw it I give up."
-
I started a new project and only use PHP, HTML, CSS and vanilla JS. No Frameworks. No React. No Vue.
The browser loads the page instantly, there is virtually no loading time and it just works.12 -
"You can Download Sublime Merge, and try it for yourself - there's no time limit, no accounts, no metrics, and no tracking. The evaluation version is fully functional, but is restricted to the ***light theme only.***"
In your butt light theme haters ;)4 -
Guys! Let’s have a contest.
I need a new name for a new journal for my new thoughts. Deep thoughts.
Person who best chooses a name that is fitting (maybe nerdy too) gets a ++ and a screenshot of my handwriting.17 -
So was thinking to myself, what's the equivalent word for a female brogrammer? Wogrammer, no, Lagrammer? No. Got it. Hogrammer. 8|14
-
Funny how fucken emojis, which came into applications (web or even native) by completely overusing them on mobile, don't really work on mobile.1
-
Sometimes I commit fixes for issues on my crypto exchange api repos without testing them and tell the issue author to test it themselves because "I don't have api keys for the respective api" to test it.
I'm fully registered on every exchange from here to Japan. 🙄 -
Just disabled JS in my browser. It required adding devrant to allowlist though, but otherwise so far so good. Especially on garbage sites like wired: no more popups, no cookies, no tracking, no yOu'Ve ReaChEd yOuR dAiLy lImIt bs…1
-
Recruiter bot just emailed me with some offers, let's take a look...
"Hand-on Experience with SQL and NO-SQL Databases preferably Redux"
Whew! I was worried for a second, thank god they are using a Redux database and not one of those really crappy React databases! I'll really consider applying now.
smh2 -
This week I'm doing construction work -- renovating my balcony. Just now I've finished with HTML - hanging drywall ceiling. Tomorrow will start on CSS - putty.
Damn, it's so gooood no not think about computers!6 -
Dear Chrome, how about when I paste something starting with https%3A%2F%2F into the address bar you get up off your lazy ass and url-decode that shit for me? Ain't nobody got time for this.1
-
Apparently, drake made a song called "Kiki do you love me".
No. Just no.
Too bad it was you and not MF Doom.8 -
How can you bring in a PBX device with no manual at all and the settings are all in Chinese and expect me to be a God and configure it?2
-
A: Is it raining today?
B: ... Is it raining today?
C: There's no rain in the forecast.
B: There's no rain in the forecast.
A: ...
Which voice is a computer?5 -
What I really hate? When a piece of code simply refuses to work. No logs, no exceptions, no sign that it even exists. HOW THE FUCK I'M SUPPOSE TO DEBUG THIS SHIT?? I drives me crazy, if everything I do changes nothing! It makes me doubt my sanity. And I like my sanity!3
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No, that Nigerian prince is not real and it is a scam, and no, I am not jealous and I don't envy you, you know what, it is totally legit ... I was lying ...
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it thrills me how killing "watchman" makes computer faster!
Well it is a Facebook creation after all .... No wonder why1 -
So I just read up on what the language D has to offer. It seems quite good!
- Active community
- Multiple compilers
- Modern (no header files, garbage collector, etc.)
- No VM or framework needed to run it (like C# and Java)
Looking forward to trying it out!
Does anyone have any experience with it? What are your thoughts?7 -
Use CoffeeScript they said, it will be fun they said.
NO! No, no, no, no!!!
Fuck this.
Converting old library written in coffescript to ES6 is just fucking insane.
I see 1000 lines of code to take me at least several hours if not a whole day.
and tests are yet to come. -
When you explain thoroughly and in no uncertain terms that yes you can help your mate out at short notice by building a working prototype of his app, but that it won't even be MVP. It will be bare bones functionality with no design, almost no styling, no images, no color - but it will work in so much that it will do what it needs to do to show that it's possible.
Then he sees it and goes "it doesn't look great, can it not animate or at least have nice images and a color palette. Would it be possible to have filters on the search or I dunno, just make it look a bit more finished?"
Me: nope, but if you want I can delete the whole thing?5 -
Coworking office Holiday party: leftover cheese plate from invite-only wine tasting. That's it. No festive music. No holiday-themed treats. Oh, and it was scheduled at 3:30pm on a Thursday... when everyone is still working for their respective companies. 🤮2
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Uum..uuuuumm...
No idea? Probably sysadmin or sth..
If it had to be out of IT sector, no clue..I am bad with people..and I don't have the skill/education to be a medical examiner for autopsies..3 -
Writing the smallest bit of code but being hella proud of it and no one to brag about it to... anyone?5
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Pitching Preact for a client. They wanted us to use Dojo because they bought support for it and I was like OH HELL NO FUCK NO
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So I'm currently "assigned" a task in which I need to fix a slow query problem, which isn't a big deal. The biggest problem is that the original team of this project haven't got any means to develop things on your local machine. Looking at their docs and scripts, it seems like everything is deployed to a dev server. But whilst looking for details for this server, I found out that the network team have decommissioned the server!
So my dilemma right now is that I can't test any of my fixes on anywhere besides staging, or possibly production! Inheriting projects is the bloody worst!5 -
How to install windows, when there is no network boot support, no USB and you are on Linux?
I did it through vmware, just ran using the current hdd.2 -
Anyone else experience "coder's block"?
No, this is not burn out. I've been learning alot of cool new stuff lately...but no clue what to start doing with it.1 -
No QA Steve I will not insert a massive feature into the project no matter how high of an importance you deem it or how awesome you think it is.2
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The Missing Button Paradox: The time it takes for a presenter to find a button on their screen increases based on the amount of participants who can see the button and try to help the presenter find it.
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Ain't no sunshine when it stops..
Ain't no sunshine when it bug's,
And it always crashes too hard,
Any time my coffee's away..1 -
I'm in love with Webpack but jeeeeeesus when it breaks in obscure ways maaaaan
Like, I got it working earlier, no errors, everything looks great... aaaaand website is blank. No page, no source, not even anything in the console, just blank. Over an hour later... turns out removing the output target fixes it. Why? No idea. Nothing.2 -
The time it takes me to get the wording right I could've finished the code already so yeah, nope, me antisocial dumb dumb no do no code assistants
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Counted it out... 100k LoC frontend & backend... Not a single automated test. No unit testing, no integration testing, nothing. I've been asked to implement a CI server.
Halp5 -
Is it me or most developers just write code so it compiles and passes tests?
No documentation, no standards, no "good practices", no"good design", no software principles, no performance analysis, nothing.1 -
Jira for one of my personal projects has an epic called "progress repo". No description. No child tasks. It seems vaguely famiar, but I've got no idea what I was talking about 4 weeks ago...1
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"No matching provisioning profiles found: No provisioning profiles matching an applicable signing identity were found."
FUCK YOU APPLE!!!!! I've update it a thousand times mother fucker!!1 -
FUCK YOUUUU media creation tool! Should have created a bootable stick, but NO, it does not just throw an error and leave my stick without any partition anymore, it even JUST THROWS AWAY the downloaded file...couln't have saved it as iso, no?!
Jeez, after taking over an hour for downloading5 -
Back from Christmas vacation, contractor account expired, no VPN, no mails.
Of course, contractor IT is not available. -
If you refused to pay for extended support there's no need for us to "Fix" a problem on your app when there's a new IOS or Android version released.
Sure it might work and no we can't future proof it.
Just pay for extended support and no that's not part of the development. -
OnClick handler on buttons in Samsung devices keeps count of no. of times you have pressed it and executes only after pressing no less than 3 times.
#slowAF #S9+ -
No no no, that's not for what I came to linux.
Opened couple of tasks including one browser with < 10 tabs, sublime, skype and it starts fucking hang.
I have 8g ram, core i3 .
I'm using Ubuntu 16 lts. Its such a shame6 -
A whole day yo set up an ethereum node on a raspberry pi zero... No mining. No wallet. I'm loosing it, people.
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My first ever system... It was bad, no coding standards, no reusing, no pattern, no nothing. I really don't know how I managed to make it work.
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Starting my first tech internship as an IT intern at my dads work. I’m super excited even though I know nothing about IT lol. I’m excited to learn and be exposed to some new stuff tho2
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Telling someone about devRant.... typed devTent (no idea if it was auto corrected)... wait! it seems correct in the other way1
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I can't do my job without internet. Guess which construction fuckers couldn't keep their shovels in the right holes and knocked out our power and connection to the interwebs. That's right. Those numbskulls right outside my building. The same ones who've been incompetent enough to have this project going on all. summer. long.
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My stupid Messages app won't send urls with a .xyz on the end. No error, no explanation. It just won't send. What the fuck?1
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How do you handle it as a developer with people coming to you to tell you they have this big dream app and they want you to work on it. They have no money, No plan, just an idea and they want you to stop your life and get into it.2
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It was back in 2010, they told me to build a simple CRUD system, habe me 2 hours, just to see the code structure/style.
Was it hard? No! I handed it in after 30min, the remaining time I got to talk to the devs. Was nice. No bullshit, no whiteboard, just a laptop and an IDE.6 -
There's no good way to describe the feeling of fixing a bug but having no idea how you did it. You stash, hard reset, toy around, fix it again... and still don't know what you did, but decide, "Eh. Whatever I guess."
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Omg has Google placed a new ad scheme online or something? It's fucking huge! Almost an entire screen of ads before seeing the first search result.
AAARRGHH 😑4 -
Apple's methodology:
Hmmm this seems like a bug...No worries, we'll call it a feature and no one will ever know!2 -
I WANTED LINUX BUT IT DIDN'T WANT ME NOW I'M ALONE AND IT FRICKNNN SUXXXXXXXXX PLS LORD NO NO NO NO NO AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH peace and love3
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Advise for the next email marketing slave robot.
padding works writing Padding (P).
No margin, no floats,... Etc.
Use Foundation email cli and even using it, be prepared for war.... :(2 -
I'm about to give a presentation to IBM engineers on a subject I don't really know much about and for which I haven't practice
It's going to be a nice day3 -
Terraform: Tried to fetch your module .zip file but failed. No route to host. 🤷♂️
Curl: Got it, what you want me to do with it now boss?
What the literal fuck Terraform? Chrome and Curl have no problem seeing it.4 -
Built my first singleton today. Dunno if I need it, should've used it, or if I even did it right, but I think I did.
In all seriousness I made a singleton and have no idea what I'm doing. It works and I think I understand it but it is in WordPress so no one ever knows. -
Confession : I swear -> my sweet Arch Linux was freeze in my laptop in my super lightweight tty env + tmux after about to quit demonstrate my friend about vim in vimtutor on yesterday.
(1st freeze after 1 half a year of using it. Maybe something wrong about my rot potato, but hey -> its a things ;)
(no data lost after hard reboot after all.)
(First time it failed without me thinker it ;) -> Its not my fault Jim~)12 -
Sooo i made this program that uses both chromium but also is a rest server. (they need to be together for this program)
Soo the rest server requieres to be run with sudo
But the chromium Browser must not. It says must provide --no sandbox (to run as sudo)
so then i added --no sandbox
and it works like i wanted it.
However every application seems to be glitching sometimes (only ui) but no lag etc.
How can i stop it from glitching :0 i mean it does work though13 -
An assistant manager asked to SOMEUNREALISTICEXPECTATION, and said it had to be done within SOMESTUPIDLYCLOSEDAY.
I said, of course, I would not do it.
He answered "no problem, we can go with SOMEPARTOFTHEUNREALISTICEXPECTATION before SOMEEVENCLOSERDAY (ie: tomorrow).
I have already said a "no" before, didn't feel like saying no again.
After all, I said, what could possibly go wrong?
The time I left office, Friday night, it everybody's guess.3 -
No matter what brands nor expensive your Android Phone, it still sucks if it has no Pure Android OS in it
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Fucking mql5 - code gives no errors, it should create a file but it does not. Why is that?
https://pastebin.com/nUL47eMf
I have searched all my computer, there is no such file.9 -
Front-End developers :
Guys, what should we do for dark mode ?
Hmmm..
Guys:
Background-color: black
Thats enough, DONE.
No,no dont forgot this :
colo:#ffffff ! important.
Thats it.2 -
No going back
No forgetting the best
If they are jealous of others forgetting the worst hurt them till they do
No more theft
There is no justification
One round of photos and videos is 12. Years of pay at least
So. Hand it over
50k a year1
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