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Search - "#depressed"
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* get stuck on a problem
* being depressed
* post a question on stackoverflow
* the question get downvoted
* now I am sad and depressed9 -
100 applications did not do the job. 1 night out did...
After approximately 3 months of endless applications, interviews and rejections i was feeling depressed. One of those nights i went drinking and ended up in a club at 3am...i was tired. I wanted to leave. My gf wanted to stay and tried hard to convince me. As part of that effort, she introduced me to a guy who she claimed to have similar interests with me.....
....4 hours later...I got the job. I am now writing this story from my office...11 -
Whenever I feel depressed in life.. I open my GMail inbox...I find:
1) 10 banks are giving me easy loans.
2) I have won GBP 10000000 and USD 500000 for unknown reasons.
3) 10 Job companies have best jobs for me.
4) 5 matrimonial sites have most suited matches for me.
5) Dr. Batra has claimed that he will cure my hair fall.
6) 3 universities are giving me degrees in random subjects.15 -
I made a game. By myself. Took me six months. I struggled to complete it. It was not a good game. I was nearly depressed at the end of the project. But I'm proud I was able to finish it and published it. It made me friends in the industry and it got me my first job. So yeah it was my most successfull project. 😊14
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!rant
WK119
Hey guys.
For you guys that are getting depressed looking for such nice setups, please remember something...
The Facebook effect:
You only see the tip of the Iceberg, the nice things, you can't see all the shit that other people won't show.
Yes, a few have some dream setups, but most of us are lucky to have two monitors or decent hardware...
What counts is that you can work in your machine... And take the posts as Ideas for your own dream setup, when you can afford it.
Mine (Ill show when I clean this shit up) is good enough and took me 2 years to get the minimum when I could afford it.11 -
!rant
Boss: Something urgent has come up, can you take care of this.
Me: Okay.... But I am already working on X and it's a critical thing.
Boss: No, X is no longer of priority. You need to now pick up Y.
Me: But I was already........ Never mind. Yeah sure I will start working on Y.
Next day
Boss : What is the update on X?
Me: I was working on Y, also wasn't it de prioritized.
Boss : I think I was very clear when I communicated to you that X is very critical. Also you need to learn to manage your time.
Me: FUCK MY LIFE19 -
I get depressed during times like this.
Me: *does a keyboard shortcut*
Friend: Woaw, are you good on computers?
Me: yea.
Friend: CAN YOU HACK?
Me: yea...
Friend: WHATS MY PASSWORD?
Me: I don't know your password.
Friend: You can't hack then.9 -
Got bored at work today and tried to write a program to do my job for me. Security and compliance saw it in the logs (trying to run unauthorized program) and came to give me a hug.11
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As most of you already know, I'm a writer. I've noticed the similarities between writing and programming:
1. Tabs vs spaces.
2. Both typically spend all their time with a single project.
3. Coffee... (Unless you're a tea lover like me.)
4. Both typically have no life.
5. Debugging is hell for programmers and editing/revising is hell for writers.
6. Strict clients for programming and strict editors for writing.
7. Semicolons... They're useful but everyone despises them.
8: Emotions. Programmers are angry at their code. (Why won't you work?) and writers feel depressed about their writing. (Why did you die?)
9. War of the programs. For programmers: Vim vs VScode vs Atom vs Sublime and etc. For writers: MS word vs Google docs vs Libre office and etc.
10. Online forums. Stack overflow and Writer's digest.
11. Typing... Typing... All day long.
These are only a few similarities. I've noticed a lot more than this.16 -
PM finds my prized stress ball and draws a face on it. When asked why she said "it looked depressed".
THATS THE LOGO YOU DUMB BITCH. PLEASE DON'T TOUCH MY SHIT
On the bright side... Good thing I have this stress ball to relieve my anger 😒16 -
I need a vacation.
I’m horribly depressed and burned out, every day for months has been a little harder than the last, and really doing anything at all is a monumental challenge, work or otherwise. Let alone working on the fucking screwdriver.
I told my boss last night and requested time off.
His response?
> Oh no, but the new screwdriver! We were all really really hoping to get it out by the end of the month!
I’m a crumpled wreck and all you care about is the fucking screwdriver that PRACTICALLY NOBODY WILL FUCKING USE? Seriously dude, go to hell.40 -
Coding has caused a paradigm shift in the way I look at the world. Previously I would look at something and be amazed as to how it happened or was made and then depressed because I would think such things could only be done by geniuses and not by me. Now, I know that complex things are made up of many simple things and anything complex can be kind of deconstructed with enough understanding. Its an empowering feeling knowing that I can create something amaizng.3
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🙁
Every girlfriend I had broke up with me and it was not even my fault...
1. A bi cheating on her girlfriend - girlfriend found out
2. Furry cheating on her boyfriend - she felt bad...
3. Hysteric b** that did not trust me for even 1 second
4. Really nice and sweet girl... that could kill me if she did not take her antipsychotics - told me she is sorry but she wants someone older (I am older than her...) - her ex before me was 42....
To clarify: both 1 and 2 did not tell me they were cheating on someone with me... I only found out after the shit hit the fan.
I feel depressed... I just want to love someone and I want that someone to love me... that's it, I don't even want sex, I just want hugs, mutual trust and someone that I could tell anything on my mind without them judging me...30 -
I hate it when people don't understand that programmers are prone to depression just like anyone else in other professions.
And my blood literally boils when someone says "Stop overthinking". Like bro, overthinking is literally how I make a living.
If I stop thinking about how my code can fail, I no longer can make a living out of this. I'll be no better than a handicapped PTSD possessed war veteran.
Also, IMO, you're born with an overthinking mind. It's not learned or acquired from an influence. I wish I could stop overthinking, but I have to accept it's beyond my control and try to tame it best I can.
It just sucks. But it is what it is. I know my head is spitting words out at full capacity right now, which just leads to depressed thoughts, and it will calm itself right down after some time.13 -
Well, I made a choice in life.
I'm going to stay and work in America after I graduate. In spite of all the shit talking I've done about its work ethics, benefits, politics, and culture.
This place is still home.
After trying out a trip to Europe for a few weeks I can't handle the idea of being 4,500 miles away from family and what few friends I have. I figured out what was true the whole time: I wanted to run away from my past. Breakups, a failed marriage proposal, a dead end job that I put up with only because I need to graduate. I've been angry and depressed over these things, but running away won't fix it.
I need to face reality and own up to it. I'll get a job as a developer in the states through hell or high-water.5 -
My Girlfriend broke with me today.
We was in this relationship from two years now. we was doing very good, our relationship was not toxic, no fights, no bad words, zero problems.
One month ago she goes to travel with her evangelical aunt to the beach. Her aunt have lot of money she gets from scamming all that believers. I was happy for my ex-gf because here in out city she was having lot of problems of health, mainly because she was not very mind stable and that degraded her health.
When she goes, her physical and mental health improve a lot. i was happy she is stable now. Her aunt have some Church around the city they go, aunt started to bring her very often to the church. She started to strongly reinforce they God beliefs.
Of course im atheist, she know that from very long time ago. But of course when she started to be more devoted, feels dont fit with me. I refuse to change my mindset about that topic.
Today she says we must broke because im not a believer. This was the most painful experience in my life. I fall in cry for three hours. I truly love her. I recently wakeup and decide to write this rant. I dont have too much friends to talk apart from her. So i wish to share this here.
Im unemployed, she was my only support all this job hunting times. Now she was gone and im alone, this hurts a lot.
Im trying to dont fall deep af, to non return path.
Fuck religion. and her fanatic aunt.31 -
One of the students in my department was smart and driven, but also really awkward. I had known him perhaps better than most other students, and had gleaned that he was depressed and had low self esteem.
On a few occasions he tied a noose out of an ethernet cable hanging from the ceiling and played "Pumped Up Kicks" when asked to choose a song at a party. Really strange stuff. If we had been betting on who would turn out a school shooter, I would've put my money on him.
Anyway, he graduated last year and this year I found out federal agents raided his home because he was building pipe bombs and intended to kill a bunch of people and himself. He's now doing at least 10 years in prison.4 -
I'm freaking the fuck out.
After months of learning from bootcamp and on my own, after a month of no resumes replied to, after almost giving up I finally got a job opportunity in front-end web development.
The thing is, I have to pass their online test to verify my JavaScript-fu.
3 hours.
4 tasks.
And I feel like garbage who can't understand even the most basic algorithms.
By the power of Grayskull, I don't think I have the power...
Wish me luck.16 -
Had a rough time. Dropped out of college twice. Got sent by a shrink to be tested for ADHD. Investigation dropped after phone interviewing my scientology parents. Depressed and admitted to the ward twice. Homeless for a month.
But come Monday I'll start my employment as a COBOL developer. My first qualified job! Code and all resources for learning online has really saved me.8 -
My life in a nutshell.
I've been stuck in this timeless loop for 10 years, anyone that relates?
1. Set alarm before going to bed.
2. Alarm rings, I turn it off.
3. Wakes up late.
4. Work from 08 AM to 4 PM.
5. Take the train back home
6. Plan what to do for the rest of the day.
7. Come home, do everything except what was initially planned.
8. Watching time goes by while doing non-productive things.
9. I feel alone, watch porn to fill this void.
10. I get depressed and unhappy afterward
11. Set the alarm for the next day.
12. Repeat.11 -
I started reading the book "The clean coder" by Robert Martin and now I feel depressed.
So many of the things that he qualifies as unprofessional have I done :'(11 -
NEVER ACCEPT to be the ONLY DEV in the company who knows the whole product!
I am in the position of being the only one who knows all modules, there are even modules I developed which no one else will be able to maintain as soon as I leave the company, which I am planning right now and this also makes me getting depressed about.24 -
Fixed this guy's code and he spent the whole day thanking and explaining to me how sad and depressed the bug had left him. I felt really sorry for the poor dude. Lol.1
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Depressed.
I have never been so depressed in my life. Today I felt so sick, tired and numb.
Fuck depression.18 -
A few months ago, I decided to let go some old clients with bad behavior and/or bad projects, since I noticed this was affecting my mental health (lowering my self esteem, make me feel depressed, anxious, etc).
I was exhausted of doing miracles in projects without git, build files, staging enviroments (yes... you can imagine), and receive all sort of curses when sudenly something stopped to work.
I set some requirements to work with any new project/client: 1) project needs to be under version control, 2) it must have staging enviroment, 3) I must work with build files.
As I still have contracts running, I'm communicating this to clients as soon as I finish my obligations.
Today, one of these clients told me they are leaving to work with another developer.
Reason: They said my new requirements are unreasonable and they prefer doing the old way.3 -
Thought of buying an HTC Vive then I realized I would need to add a few things to my shopping list:
- 16 GB Ram cards
- Windows 10
- 2 TB Hard drive
- NVIDIA Graphics Card
- HDMI Display Port/Controller
- 2 monitors
My parents ended up getting me a Google Cardboard6 -
#LongRant
I AM SO FUCKING PISSED RIGHT NOW OF ALL YOU DICKHEADS WHO DON'T KNOW SHIT 'BOUT PROGRAMING AND STILL QUALIFY FOR THE NEXT ROUND!
Background: I am a final year student of Computer Science. This time of the year, companies come to the campus to recruit potential employees for their vacant positions. But during the COVID-19 times, the number of such companies and jobs have gone a little down. Two companies came to our university for recruitment — DXC Technology and Hanu Software. I cleared the aptitude/code test for DXC and appeared for the interview, which went fairly well. Waiting on the results. The rant is about the other company.
The Story: I am learning and working on Cloud (AWS specifically) for the past 1 year. I have a cloud Certification in Oracle and working my way to get Azure Certified. Hanu Software, which is a core cloud company (works on Azure) came to our campus for the recruitment (Cloud Engineer). Their test had these sections —
1. Personality (54 Questions; 15 minutes)
2. Verbal (20 Questions; 20 minutes)
3. Reasoning (15 Questions; 15 minutes)
4. Technical (25 Questions; 25 minutes)
5. Quantitative (15 Questions; 15 minutes)
As soon as I finished my Interview with DXC, I had my Hanu test within 30 minutes. I have a Mac so the test by default started on Safari. After completing 4 sections, I receive a mail in Junk from Hanu which stated that only Chrome or Firefox can be used to give the test. AHH! And on Safari.. the platform on which the test was being conducted didn't ask me for any camera permission (the test is monitored, can't even change windows/switch tabs). I then changed the browser to Mozilla Firefox and somehow finish the test. After finishing, I call up my classmates to find out how their test go. Know what? FUCKING TWATS USED GOOGLE LENS TO FIND OUT THE ANSWERS!
Last night, the list of qualifying students arrived and obviously I didn't make it to the list, but those dumbfucks did who don't even know what Cloud technology is or how it works. Neither they could do any average level program, nor have the communication skills. HOW?! HOW THEM AND NOT ME? Life is very unfair sometimes. I couldn't sleep at night.
PS: If you made this far, thank you for reading this rant (and sorry for it being so long). Makes it better to be able to share with someone. If you could, then please guide me (online resources/recommendations) to be better at competitive programming, or help me enhance my resume/linkedin or if you could refer me for an entry level position at your organisation, I would eternally be grateful. Thank you once again. And sorry for the long rant.17 -
That brief moment in life when you realize no one actually cares about half the stuff you say.
Man does it suck to be depressed.9 -
So, Twitter fired the entire Indian team (or almost, Im not so sure) and one person posted on LinkedIn that went like, "If you've been laid off, just learn something new and Upskill yourself."
Like yeah, no shit Sherlock.
I imagine this is the same kind of people who tell depressed people, "Oh, you're depressed? Just Cheer Up!"6 -
DevRant is the best. I just gave Imgur another try. It still makes me depressed and loose faith in humanity. All those stupid people. DevRant is much better. Here we have smart people that know how to approach problems and understand jokes.8
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I worked at a computer store for almost 4 years, don’t really have any seniors since the first year and if I don’t understand something google are my only hope
So during 4th year it got worse, I got college final project also tons of work. That last year really burn me out like crap. No one’s complaining if I can’t troubleshoot something (even the boss or client) but I feel depressed if I failed to help them
I quite 3 months ago and currently on another city with a software company, first 2 months was great, tons of senior and I can finally rely on someone instead of pulling my hair by myself
P.S. The store working atmosphere was nice, but I just don’t wanna be last man when shit happens. Especially if it’s my 1st job -
If anyone feels down, depressed or lonely. Please let me know we can have a google meet call and talk about whatever. You are important and you shouldn't feel alone this season or any other day.
Have a taco12 -
Mom and dad never really cared me being a developer claiming they did not understand what I do and used to talk down on me becoming a loser for spending too much time making video games when I was a kid.
Got depressed for a long time and stopped making games.
Brother comes drunk at 15 years old, got yelled but bc he was out partying and socializing he never got called a loser by them. Now they laugh at that experience.
But never apologized until I got a breakdown. Fb becomes big and now they want me to invent the next Facebook and telling me to be happy.8 -
I love coding, solving challenges or making something. But the current state of most of the jobs in the industry is sad, specially in this part of the world. I am stressed out and depressed when stuck in a never ending daily grind.
There are days when I seriously consider the idea of leaving the industry and start my own restaurant or cafe. It feels like coding for fun and doing something else for a living could be better.
Am I overthinking this? Are there any other people who are feeling the same?14 -
Not really a rant but my biggest fuckup that entirely ruined my IT career and future life
> be me 21yo CS student looking for an internship
> looking for help with my friend and sent him my CV to apply to a big corp
> then I lied that I have sent CV to official email {here the fuck up begins}
> after that I got an instant phone call from a friend of him claiming that the CV was sent properly and I am going to visit a company
> I had a review but it was recorded my CV hasn't got precisely specified technologies so interviewer thought I can manage to work as a dev not an intern
> with my shitty communication skills I managed to "work" there 8days, fucked up someone's computer by deleting his Windows and all data he had and installing Ubuntu instead
> then shit got out of control for an intern I talked a lot of bullshit in this Corp they realized I was there an "alien" and I didn't even know what to do so I wanted to sudo rm - rf myself
> unfortunately my parents woke up that morning I decided to sudo rm - rf and and I am now in mental asylum with fucked up people and the Corp knows where am I and I am going to pay for my stupidity and being naive (I didn't even seen the CEO, I didn't have enough information that I really worked there)
> To sum up, being bipolar, naive and irresponsible has brought me to this point in life. Thank you for reading. I don't see a solution, my parents don't believe me and I feel isolated with this fuckup so I decided to share it as a remark for young people starting in IT. For me it already ended too fast.12 -
Honestly, I have a love/hate relationship with coding. On one hand, I can feel on top of the world when something works the way I want it to. On the other hand, coding can make me feel more incompetent and depressed about my life than anything else. I would never want to do anything else with my life, but it's really tough when the thing you love is also the source of a lot of self-hate.1
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Programming made me fucking fat as fuck.
I went to Holmes Place after a 2 month no gym period to get counseling.
I have a whoppin 25% body fat and it makes me fucking depressed.
Fuck sitting in front of computers and programming for hours. Fuck snacks and fuck stayibg up late. That shit is bad for you.16 -
Before the storm - New Feminist Programming Language C+=
So before reading and raging on the box popoli post "the costs of a code of conduct" (thanks for linking @cursee ) I thought I'd share an awesome repository some Anon highlighted on 4chin/g.
I encourage you to read the README.md if you have been feeling depressed and/or mad with all this politics in programming bs.
https://github.com/ErisBlastar/...11 -
I am quitting my job in the next couple of weeks. I don't even have a job lined up. I can't deal with doing Design work as a developer when you have a whole ass design team. Like what the fuck. Then I nearly do development. Oh and your gonna bitch at me when I mess up in design, then threaten to fire me? Well you can shove that shit all up your entire ass. Fuck this Job. I am doing my own thing. I don't care if I become homeless cause Fuck I'll be more happier I did that then be at this concentration camp. I am gonna live my life and own. Cause fuck everything corporate Jobs is fucking life sucking. Please Fire me. I GIVE NO FUCKS ANYMORE. Sick of being depressed and stressed. I want to be a real developer!!!! argghhhhhhhhhhhh9
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On hold to the jobcentre, coming up to 1.5 hours now...
FUCK YOU WITH A CACTUS WRAPPED IN BARBED WIRE YOU USELESS CUMSTAIN OF A GOVERNMENT. I HAVE NO FOOD, NO HOME, AND 20% BATTERY.
SORT YOUR SHIT BEFORE I FIND EVERY SINGLE FUCKING CALL CENTRE AND FIREBOMB THEM.
fucking hell. I fucking hate this shit.8 -
I just watched The Social Network and I'm so depressed that I'm through quarter of my life and haven't done anything significant yet.....😭😭9
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I hate working from home. I'm lonely, bored, feel ignored by my leadership, and have so many additional complications with connectivity that don't exist when working on site. I have the chance to almost double my salary in this buyout, but I also really really hope my other job applications give me options2
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You know what I do when I get upset or depressed?
I put myself in bed. I guess some things from childhood don't change.
Having a tantrum? Time to go to bed.3 -
Everyday I fell my soul being sucked by this job.
We have too much liberty and it's all scattered, every fucking project uses a different framework.
Everything is a mess, no one seems to care and I'm feeling like shit for being the only one that seems to care.
Every time I start job hunting I fell depressed because of this nonsense bullshit they call job requirements.
Just wanna run away from this mess and never look back.13 -
some people are fucking idiots.
i remember one time - i made a website which ended up having a slightly major security flaw.
the big isnt the point though. this guy told me to just "write secure code."
i consequently told him, "how about you go fuck yourself?"
well, he was a painter, so i then told him "maybe you should fucking draw better," and promptly left.
well, here i present what that would be like if other people were told shit like that.
depressed person - "just be happy"
teacher - "just make your students smarter"
homosexual - "just like the opposite sex"
presidential candidate - "just win the election"
homeless person - "just get a house"
idiot - "just stop being my client" (sorry had to vent)
well you get the idea.
devs should be treated as functioning members of society.12 -
!dev (Please, don't take this very seriously, I'm kind of burnt out)
I'm not having a good time.
I can't even write a post to properly explain how I feel.
I feel disappointed by life and by myself in many levels. Life is disappointing. I am disappointing too.
I'm having issues to focus, can't even write a couple of lines of code.
Time to listen to some emo lofi and write about how much I hate myself.
I wished I didn't feel these feelings.
I wished I didn't regret so many things I did or didn't do.
I wished I could fucking understand everything I read, but I don't, everything I read is gibberish, every paragraph makes me feel like I'm drifting in a storm.
I wished I was happy with my career, with my job. I wished I had a true friend.
I wished I could finish one goddamn fucking project for once.
I wished there was something that made me unique, but I don't think there's any.
I just feel like an ant, and that I don't really matter.
I don't feel like I'm someone at all, I feel like I'm experiencing a dream, and a rather boring one.
Programming used to be challenging and fun for me, but it has become this dull and stressful ordeal.
The internet has shown me that I don't matter really. I remember being a little kid and believing that the internet would not discriminate you, that right from the comfort of your house you could connect to people and be cared for, and collaborate in something.
But every year that passes I see that I was wrong. I have tried to put in time into people, I have asked people how they're doing, I have cared for their projects. But there's no reciprocation.
The internet itself has become a thing where the big fish only matters. The top 1k users will get 99% of the attention.
Fuck nurture, rule competition.
What's the point of creating a github project that you think it's cool? No one will give two shits about it, it won't make a goddamn difference whether you push it or not.
You know what fucking matters? If you're an apple or google developer and have thousands of followers.
Bla, bla, bla, I'm depressed...9 -
I have a love and hate relationship with programming. You'll see me as the happiest and most motivated person ever. The next minute, you'll see me as an extremely depressed suicidal person. Then when a code works, I jump like hell.1
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Management: foobar resigned. We need to have a dev who can work the android app project.
Me: You have to find a dev who can work with that stack.
Management: You!
Me: Me?
Management: Yes, You.
Me: Me? Why me? I'm a web dev.
Management: Starting tomorrow you will work for 2 projects.
Me: but..
Management: accept it or..
Me: Okay. -_-
Management:
Me:7 -
If my laptop made the same many sounds that computers in series and movies does, I would go insane and became as creepy, cynical and depressed as the people you see in those films and series using their computers are3
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I feel lonely on my way back to home. I am a bit depressed while listening to the song "Alone" by Alan Walker. Because I code alone all day and I am single. There is a shop in my neighbourhood. It has its light turned on this night, perhaps just to increase its exposure. But, there is something so shiny that caught my attention. It is a smiling duck. I don't know what the duck is doing right there. I havent seen it before. But the shop is closed now.
At this moment, I realize it could be my friend when I don't have a friend.4 -
Sometimes I feel like I'm not really a developer. I don't know how to explain this.
I know some stuff but I feel like I am always behind no matter what...11 -
PSA.
I have established "Depressed Lonely Maggot" Club. Our symbol will be an ugly crying maggot.
You are invited :310 -
Just got rejected for an internship position. They saying you are slightly lesser for what our intern possess. Upon insisting they told that both my "skill set" and "logic" is not up to the mark. I am depressed6
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I waited 8 years for cyberpunk 2077. I also bought the most expensive pc of my life including 34inch ultra wide monitor.
But at the last moment I got fucked by AMD. The 5900x that I ordered was dead on arrival and went back for replacement. But they don't have any stock to replacement. So I am fucking waiting for cpu. They are not providing any information on the stock.
I am getting depressed day by day.21 -
Just failed at 4/6 subjects at my uni. And now I have to study subjects I have completely no interest in just to pass. I feel depressed1
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Depression and anxiety is a major challenge in my work life.
I could remember vividly when I was at my last job, any time I felt depressed I'll call for sick leave. It was hard for me to pinpoint the cause of my depression because even while on most sick leave I still felt depressed.
I blamed it on my job, blamed it on my family, on my social circle, on my friends, on my lifestyle, on almost everything. At some point it all felt like it was me versus the world, a fight I could never win.
Thoughts came in... Maybe it's because John is now married with two kids, or because Stella is now the new manager, or that David just bought a new Ross Royce and I'm still riding an ice-cream truck, or its because Steve is always on vacation and PM always complaining about uncompleted task with no acknowledgement for the 2 months task finished in a week, or because Boss is always calling for stupid meetings. Different thoughts in my head... Jealousy, Envy, Disappointment, Tiredness, Confusion, all combined at once.
But I did found a cure for my anxiety and depressed nature...
During lunch hours I visit a beach close to where I work, it's called "Tarkwa bay". I'll sit at the rock formations and glare at the shadows of the rising sun, listen to the sound of rumbling waters and passive the complete overview of nature. The feeling I get there is really calming, It occupies my head with neutral thoughts and a love for nature. 🤗
I truly experienced an improvement overall and it's been a while I felt depressed since I started such a routine.
Nature is really a gift.1 -
!dev
There’s nothing more frustrating than feeling depressed and apathetic toward everything for days, like the walls are closing in, you’re never going to achieve your goals, and there’s no point to living... only to realize it’s just that it’s “that time of the month”.
I miss the days when my PMS was literally just “Random commercials make me cry”.
To clarify, I would probably catch on that these emotions are just a hormonal reaction if “that time of the month” happened every month. Nexplanon is a weird birth control.
I’m sure this thread was overshare, but I just wanted to express my frustration.
Here’s Bob being stealth5 -
I am feeling lonely and depressed. Don't feel like to code. I am introvert, don't have friends. Idk what to do. 😫10
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Current lappy got about 4GB RAM and not enough cores. I can't even run krita without it slowing down more the more I work on a file.
It would be frustrating if only I wasn't so depressed.
So yeah, due to being broke and lack of nerves, I'm gonna completely stop working on the comic for now.22 -
I was depressed doing a course I hated.
3 years in and I switched to Computer Science.
Best decision ever!3 -
So, I'm trying to process the feelings from not getting accepted for the PhD project I applied for a while back. And it's just unfair. They've recruited people with no publication and less GPA than me. I also doubt any of them would be field-wise more relevant than me tbh. (Wouldn't be surprised if they hired MBA grads) I have all the relevant qualifications that even people working on that project do not have. I could easily get this project going beyond what they are doing with it rn. It's unfair. But it's life. And life goes on.
Am I angry? Yes. Am I disappointed, also yes. They didn't give me any alternative offers either. So I am going to steal the project and finish it so they have to throw all the money they've invested in the toilet.
... If only I wasn't depressed and could bring myself to apply elsewhere again. 🙄10 -
Working with client at different timezone (+3 hours difference). Client time: 5 P.M.
C: a blocker issue found
Step to reproduce:
Step 1: import the attached file
Step 2: blabla
Please get this fixed today.
Me: *where's the attached file?* Opens up ly*c, type his name and.... status offline.
Okay then, time to post my first rant. And get depressed until cob. 😔1 -
I was just browsing some programming subreddits and reading a few tech articles and I literally got depressed from the state of this industry. Too late to become a barista?7
-
Most awkward work event story?
I haven't had many of those tbh. because I've been WFH last 3 years.
One that I remember was my birthday celebration at a company I worked at in 2019. The boss was hostile towards everybody and paid dog shit salaries. So the work environment wasn't the most uplifting and positive.
So anyway, The boss got a cake and rounded everybody up around me chanting Happy Birthday song to me.
Already awkward, but what made it more awkward was the fact that nobody else was clapping/singing other than the boss.
I looked at everybody and saw the depressed smiles on their faces. I'm glad it only lasted 5 mins.3 -
Sooooooo since a few days im feeling more and more depressed.
There are some things that might cause it :
- school
-My last frienhship broke (not like i care about sociality. lol)
-my parents being so strict.
What can i do except for going through this, eyes shut?
I alceady had a depression i dont wanna get back there :/51 -
I just spent almost a semester's worth of money on a certification course. I know it'll help me make more in the long-run and get me out of the job that has started to cause me to become actually depressed, but this price-tag is depressing me. Why are certs so damn pricey???2
-
Just updated devRant and out of curiosity scrolled down to look at the recommended apps - wtf
I'm not depressed and I know English already?
Btw update looks nice 😉3 -
Day 1: depressing
Day 2: blissful
OR
Day 1: blissful
Day 2: depressing
I noticed this pattern to repeat EVERY TIME IN MY LIFE.
When something is extremely good one day, I actually try to reduce the happiness because the depression will kick in the next day twice as much.... So even when i get hit by happy days, i am forcefully trying to become depressed in order to avoid being depressed twice as much tomorrow, CAn you Fucking believe me this ? Hhh
Hhhh
hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
i
i dont have energy to live9 -
If an ai becomes depressed, does it encapsulate itself for better \Closure?
*insert thinking dinosaur* -
I'm so fucking depressed. I've get 100/100 and 96/100 in the lastest exams but I can't keep going to the university because I don't have money to travel from my home to the building. I have to throw away my career and knowledge. I don't find a job in this fucking country.
Sorry for boring you with my shit, I had to write it.13 -
It feels like no matter what i fucking try at this point, the universe is doing everything in its power to stop me from succeeding.............. I got so fucking depressed that i am literally writing code and crying in the same time.........4
-
Brought my Mac to holidays so I can code... while at it, I realized that I left the charger at home ..Now I'll have to go home with a depressed state of mind2
-
If you want to quickly become depressed, look at how much money you've spent on apps you don't even have installed: https://play.google.com/store/apps/...8
-
My first hackathon when I was in my university. I never used to work on any side projects apart from assignments and academic projects. I was so shocked when I saw that people were so dedicated in developing a working product in a weekend sacrificing sleep and food. I got so depressed that I wasn't doing anything and people around me were doing so much!!!!! That's when I was motivated to learn more, do more, work more. After this, I never missed a single hackathon while I was studying :) I'm so much better at what I do now because of hackathons.
-
Is a week enough time to figure out if a company is right?
I'm not sure if I like this new leadership team...
I'm starting to think that I might have been far happier with my previous gig...11 -
Going through the typical phase of being depressed because of feeling underdeveloped skill wise and ignorant knowledge wise; despite how much I learn. God, spent 3 days on a recursive dynamic programming problem and couldn't implement it right... then I decided to glance at someones solution on github and turns out he did what I couldn't do in 70+ lines of code in 20. Sigh, just want to right concise and clear code and become a better programmer all together, but that obviously takes time. For the mean time I am feeling quite defeated.9
-
Been really depressed at work for the last two years. To the point where myself and colleagues would constantly petition our boss to work with us to change our internal process.
After being constantly ignored / seeing no really impact ( he literally renamed a step in our process and said he fixed it forgoing all the recommendations that we suggested and refusing to discuss anything with us );
I decided to resign before I say or do anything to completely burn the bridge.
Two days later one of my colleagues also resigned ( the only other device at the company ) now my boss is frantically looking for our replacements while also trying to maintain that he holds all the cards.. he offered my colleague less than he is on now to freelance for him. And will likely attempt the same with me in my exit interview today.
But I'm working on a web app which I find interesting. Problem is that I'm not as hopeful as the others working on it with me that it will ever make any money. (It seems like a money pit if anything)
I think I may be in for a couple of rough months. But at least I'm not working for a company that made me so depressed that all I would ever think about is how to convince the boss to improve things.
I'm worried but for the first time in 2 years I feel happy.4 -
This is a follow up to my previous rant where I complained about Lenovo firmware update failing and bricking a relative’s computer.
We bought a chip programmer, got the bios from some forum and the thing fucking worked. I’m actually surprised it did, I’m not used to doing shit like this. I was pretty fucking scared of burning something.
The programmer also came with a clamp so we could hook it to the chip without desoldering it. Thank god.
I’m terribly depressed so good timing with that I guess.1 -
Hard drive head crashed and corrupted my entire android app source code which took my 5 months to build. I was depressed for 2 days and then started working for it again and updated the app on the store in 3 months. It was a terrifying yet amazing experience. Definitely don't want to go through that again.
Now I keep backups on the cloud. Lesson learnt.7 -
My life is basically a loop of:
1) “I’m in a slump and terribly depressed because of my lack of productivity.”
2) “I know! I’ll try using the strategies that proved to make me very productive”.
3) “I’m very productive right now, that’s because I’m so smart and talented, it’s just part of me”
4) Back to step 1
Im an unaccomplished idiot with a big ego. Why do I have an ego if I don’t have any real accomplishments????
Dear god, I will become a fucking egotistical moron the day I actually do something worthwhile.
I’m a goddamn fucking piece of shit.5 -
any of you like your job? I'm so used to reading rants, sometimes i think everyone is just depressed all the time16
-
My home is under renovation and so my desktop is disassembled and in the box for more than a week now . I feel depressed, aimless and meaningless.
-
Any other 30+ year old developer that didn't start the dev career too long ago and gets completely depressed when surfing on Quora? Reading 100 about "developer career being over after 30" when mine started at 29 isn't too good a motivation23
-
Job interview in an hour while depressed. And I‘m not ready for the thought of “lying” on how great I am if i don’t feel like it. It feels so wrong.11
-
* Today you have to live within 150 miles of a few cities as we are working on creating "hubs" but it's still remote!
you know what?
fuck you
also, no, an LLM isn't going to solve climate change
jesus christ i am depressed beyond belief. i don't even want to apply, let alone work for any of these companies
next up: "USA only" yeah what the fuck does that mean? US citizen? US timezone? you want to hire a super technical engineer right? SO WHY NOT BE SUPER TECHNICAL IN YOUR JOB DESCRIPTION
just incredible, companies that offer 100-200K salaries and all they have is a website and a fucking chrome extension... what???
i feel like i've been doing wrong my whole life
just end it all5 -
One of my TL said to me during code review that place a break statement after return statement in switch case.
Being with a bar leader can certainly degrade your code quality.10 -
I wonder why code doesn't work
Look blankly at code for 1 hour
Notice I put underscore instead of dot.
Be mad at myself for making a function name yaml_load that I confused as yaml.load.
Get a cup of tea, kinda depressed but glad the issue is resolved.
Get glasses. -
The whole summer of working 6 days a week at a dead end job, crazy hours, to tired to code or anything in the evenings, and feeling really depressed about everything.. Finally Monday, new semester in school is about to start. So eager to get back, to learn and have so many cool (hopefully) courses this semester. And it's only Saturday..1
-
Been trying to learn code for almost two years now, started with C++, took a break because I couldn't figure out what to do with the knowledge, started Python 'cause I thought I'd be inspired by scripting and automating stuff, same thing happened, switched to java, same problem, aaaaaand I'm back to C++ and still can't figure out what the fuck I can do, I don't code anything and I'm tired of following tutorial in the hope of getting something interesting done
Long rant I know but fuck I'm so depressed about that...8 -
DEPRESSION TRIGGER WARNING
Every once in a while, I feel depressed.
From who am i, where am i questions to what will i do in the future to sustain myself...
But what hits me so hard every single time is what will happen if i die...
So i disappear
From here.
As if i never wake up again from my sleep
It is like
Gone
I don't know how to explain but..
It terrifies me
Think about it
You... Poof!
Gone
From this world
And if you have no kids,well,
Gone. Completely
.......
G.O.N.E.12 -
A couple of my friends failed to answer the correct output for this.
I have been working on Python since a month, they have, for months and years.
I am so depressed right now.18 -
Wait this is crazy!
Well I'm not an anxious or depressed type.
But no melatonin pill = no sleep
Worst part is no sleep during the day cause of sun light.
Even taking pills won't guarantee my sleep .
Yes I told my doc and he said "just relax , limit your caffeine "
Have you experienced this?31 -
Not doing it for the money alone unless you want to be depressed and wealthy.
Find the most inspiring work that pay your bills: when you're the best at what you love you will find a way to get paid for that (or something closely related).
On the micro level, I try to talk to / learn from coworkers a lot and take regular breaks.1 -
I got really depressed today for many many self-inflicted reasons so i'd like to propose we change Rule 2 of Technology to "You will fuck up, and when you do, you will fuck up REALLY REALLY HARD."
-
All things have ends. Nothing lasts
If I am currently sad, this situation will pass.
If I am currently happy, this situation will pass too.
If there is a bug, boss like shit.. it'll pass, it doesn't deserve to be that sad ans depressed..
If there is no bug, and the work is perfect.. it'll pass.. there will be moments when sadness come..
it's just everything is going, nothing deserves to be sad or that happy.4 -
My adSense account got terminated.
Reason: No f***ing idea
Never ever used any unfair means , still. All my hardwork towards my earning lost.
My appeal to reactivate rejected.
I am really depressed.
What should i do?7 -
I need someone to explain me this:
- whenever I work hard as fuck and stay on my purpose and fuckin grinding out all of my work being focused as fuck on it; EVERYONE SUDDENLY WANTS TO FUCKING TEXT ME. I AM BUSY. MY DAD WANTS TO TALK. MY MOM HAS QUESTIONS. MY DOG WANTS TO SHIT. MY FRIENDS WANT TO HANG OUT WITH ME AND FIND ME COOL. RANDOM GIRLS TEXT ME. RANDOM GIRLS WANT TO FUCK ME. MY PHONE EXPLODES FROM TEXTS AND NOTIFICATIONS. NUCLEAR DISTRACTIONS
- whenever i dont work anything, just lay on the couch to have some rest or when i feel depressed and lonely; NO ONE WANTS TO TEXT ME. PEOPLE TAKE HOURS OF FUCKING TIME TO RESPOND. THOSE WHO USED TO GIVE A FUCK TO SPAMBOMB ME WITH TEXTS NO LONGER GIVE A FUCK. I FEEL EVEN WORSE THEN. FUCK YOU AND FUCK EVERYONE WHO DISTURBS ME WITH DISTRACTIONS6 -
Coolest project? No project is cool anymore after clients changed their mind for the 9000th time which happens like... always.2
-
Super depressed rn and nobody to talk to about it. Stupid life problems. Can’t seem to learn new tech so if I lost my job I’d have to switch to landscaping or something. Can’t talk normal with people without someone taking offense at something I never dreamed could be offensive (stupid cancel culture) or trying to shut me down. Friends ending friendships and family cutting me out of their lives without communication as to why. My kids just don’t seem to care about anything I have to try to teach or share with them anymore. Nothing I do seems to matter to anyone or make a difference even when I’m trying to do good things for people. I don’t want to take my life but tbh if COVID got me I wouldn’t even be mad. I’d embrace it as my get out of jail free card.17
-
Been sitting here, stuck for hours. Complex projects bring complex problems. I honestly cannot move past this issue. A major lump in the development of this project. I doubt myself as a developer. I feel depressed. This task seems insurmountable.
I can't come up with a name for my game.3 -
Wow, y’all are depressed.
https://twitter.com/williamsbk/...
I don’t work in medicine or military so no one dies if I use “<“ instead of “>=“ because I wrote the variables in the wrong order. I’m not worried about skills, I’m worried about saying the wrong thing to the wrong person because direct, clear communication is out of style right now.21 -
I have had it with this wack-ass code, with its spaghetti-looking call tree, nonsensical variable naming, comments a screen-height long and as clear as mud mixed with diarrhea, conditions incomprehensible enough to make kafka depressed, and condtions nested deeper than a goddamn ant colony.
In fact, it has more levels of indentation than one of those stupid iceberg memes - the top is pretty and barely afloat while the rest of it is a fat mess all the way down that only serves to sink your motherfucking hopes and dreams.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA2 -
Just got yelled at by by a senior dev. I know I am not the best developer but...I am depressed now. I wanna be better and prove myself. I admit I am distracted way to easily but I need help bad. Idk how to earn back the respect of my coWorkers.9
-
As I sit and stare at code, and then stare at the Bills I need to pay as the month starts. I began to think, what if I too was part something new in Tech. Everytime, I see people creating new Tech, getting noticed, I wish I was there on forefront.
Then it gradually dawns on me, "you are just here to make ends meet, survive in the corporate world. Why care about the world. Let it go as it is."
"A shitty life".3 -
Starting a new project:
1.Think of a new/exciting idea
2.Start imagining and planning in my head
3.Start working on my idea
4.Give up mid-way
5. Get depressed
6. Get back at it way behind schedule and still not complete it
7. Go back to step 1 except that's basically how I start something new and not just a project :)4 -
- Sometimes seeing all of you people have jobs as coders makes me depressed 😅.
- I couldn't even write a program (a few weeks ago) to insert an element into an array and shift the proceeding elements up one location 😩😢😓.
- Yes, that's how beginner I am 😳.
- Please, Don't kick me out of the community 😨.5 -
As usual, I guess I am getting depressed again. Happens at the last week every month.
This is like my personal PMS. And have no idea how to overcome this. FML.5 -
Cannot pinpoint one advice as the best but the comments of this rant are the most helpful one's
https://devrant.com/rants/1339948/...
@Floydian @AlexDeLarge @wokeRoach @Devnergy @sharktits @norman70688 Thank you guys for it. I often come back and re-read it.1 -
I'm done fighting with my professor over my thesis project. They want me to go slower in building my project and we only have 7 weeks to deployment. Well screw you how in the hell do you expect me to prototype, build, bug fix and deploy all this and go SLOWER. YOU AREN'T AIMING TO BE A CAREER DEVELOPER ARE YOU?
I feel really sick this morning. Between the anxiety of graduating soon and my debt...
I just want live for myself. Not the sake of a school or some corporate entity. When this is over I want to work overseas in Europe. Do something for myself for once.2 -
When depression set in, I thought pain relief lied in getting duller. People I called “stupid” — who lived simple lives filled with alcohol and lack of any talent or purpose — weren't suffering. Better even, they denied the existence of depression.
My “wish” was granted when they prescribed cariprazine. In two months, I lost my ability to read, let alone code.
Before that, even depressed, writing a simple email/password auth was a matter of ten minutes in any of the languages I knew how to do web in (JS, Python, Clojure, PHP). But on cariprazine, I remember myself not quite getting what an HTML form was.
Tell you what… you should never wish to become dumber. When I was smart and depressed, the pain was real, but it felt like… let's say a breakup. When I was dumb and depressed, it felt like being raped with a red-hot soldering iron. Or like being skinned alive. Or like when 100% of your skin is a third-degree burn. The pain weren't listening to me, as my mouth was glued shut as if I was Keanu in the first Matrix movie. You can't say, do or think anything, at all, to ease your pain somehow. You can't even realize that just DMing or calling someone is probably a good idea.
Instead of you vs. despair situation from when you were smart, now it's just despair that is actively melting you, so you two become one. Even time loses its meaning. There is nothing out there but suffering.
If you're smart(er than I was at my lowest), DO cherish it. Losing that will spell disaster. So stay away from substances that can facilitate that loss.2 -
Only 25 days left to get my Fanatic gold badge in stackoverflow and my browser decides to open up the new window instead of the old one with all my pinned tabs in it... So I forget to log into stack overflow for a day resulting in me going back to 99 days of everyday visiting the site until I get my Fanatic badge... I feel so fucking depressed FML4
-
I hate my current work with this piece of bad written legacy $hit. As 2 year old 'junior' without any code review and mentor I feel depressed. I should improve my skills at home and run away from it.
F#$ck you, corpo.3 -
Ai depression—— I feel increasingly depressed and hopeless about potentially applying for junior dev jobs - I feel like why? What’s the point when GPT can do the low level junior stuff in place of me? I would really appreciate some words of motivation…. Is it still worth it?19
-
I was going to write a rant and thought: leave it for tomorrow, you're gonna be more depressed tomorrow.1
-
If you're depressed about the quality of your application remember - LinkedIn is there to brighten your day (ifyouknowhatimean)1
-
Been depressed and bored for the past two days, wish I'm always like this. why?
I learned how to MVVM in WPF and Android.
If only Apple creates something similar to what Microsoft and Google did for data binding.
If it exists please let me know :)9 -
Struggling
Started a new job not super long ago with the intention of "learning new tech" and so I get my wish, I'm thrown into a project as the LEAD ENGINEER
And my junior dev proceeds to run circles around me and I know literally nothing about what is going on in this project aside from the architectural / feature planning discussions I've had with marketing/junior
I've been trying to learn vuejs for what seems like weeks and weeks and I'm just not "getting it" I come from a strong oop php background and this paradigm is using tons of tech I know basically nothing about. Every time I talk to junior I get super depressed cause he's speeding along and I'm still completely clueless.. what the FUCK do I do6 -
Any body goes through a phase where they feel unmotivated to work?
Normally, I’m the kind of person that work a lot and even code on side projects during the weekend. For the past 2 weeks+, I feel unmotivated and just want to eat, shower, Netflix and sleep.
I’m certain I’m not depressed but I don’t know if I am burnt-out though.
Anybody had similar experience?7 -
I wonder if jetbrains will change my licence expiration date to a day earlier.
I get kinda depressed every time I open one of their products.
*Sigh*1 -
I just hate this life so damn much, 14 and depressed with possible anxiety and suicidal attempts is not easy. My parents are the worst. MY brother sucks. I wanna die.7
-
In a mediocre job since last 4 years with just a developer designation, but we simply use Java based tools and products to do most of our job. Need to study for a change in job.
Literally every morning:
"Let me see what to focus on: JavaScript/Java/C++/Python/Data science/ML/AI/NodeJS/...." The list goes on.
Every Evening:
"I need to focus on Data Structures and Algorithms. So let me stick to Java for now."
Next Day:
Back to the same routine.
2 months have passed and I have not seriously studied or concentrated on anything :(
Depressed.2 -
Although im starting a job in 2 weeks, i feel depressed already. I know what awaits me and I'll know even more what is yet to come. It's going to be hell. If it was a huge amount of money like 5-6k i would be less depressed. It would solve lots of problems. But its nowhere close to that
Tomorrow morning i have to go and sign the nda and other contracts. I really dont want to. This is not what i had planned. I planned to finish my project by the end of this year asap. Now i have to speedrun and finish the whole project ASAP before i officially start this job
Although im starting a job, i feel like a failure even more than not having a job. How is this possible and why is that? Why do i feel so bad to start working a job?
Knowing already that ill sign a 3 month contract, and knowing that I'll earn exactly $3900 in the next 3 months, is fucking pathetic in this economy13 -
I'm feeling empty. All my friends and roomates went home. But I stayed in hostel. I haven't touched my laptop from last 3 days. I'm just lying on bed staring at ceiling. I'm not even in a relationship, so I call my mother everyday to get the feeling of being loved.
This quarantine is strange. First few days I spent my time playing video games, watching Netflix, laughing at memes. But Now I'm feeling empty. Very strange thoughts are now occupying my mind. I'm sleeping 10+ hrs, and staring at ceiling or outside window most of the time. My room is a mess. Forget washing hands, I don't even feel like standing up to switch on lights.
I'm not saying I feel sad or depressed, I just feel very strange.16 -
...i earned $1000 and i feel luxurious as if i can buy the whole world... And in fact with this much money (worth over 100,000 in my currency) i can buy a Lot of stuff....i cant believe i sank so low in life where 1000$ for me is a luxurious amount of money..... I earned it and im still depressed because i just realized i had been fighting over these interviews and getting rejected for just 500-600$ a month minimum wage... And now when i earned twice as much i realized even twice of that isn't anything special... I need a 5-6 figure salary to feel happy and not depressed. Im not asking for millions. I need a liveable life and not a survival slave life...
The saddest part is: i earned more than x2 of minimum wage by being unemployed and developing a side business than i have earned working a 9-5 job8 -
My 2tb portable external hard disk is messed up :( . The disk isn't spinning. It is under warranty but I am so depressed.4
-
Sometimes I get so excited about doing something that I'm genuinely happy. But when the initial high fades and I'm ten layers of complex code problems deep I always remember how useless I really am
Oh but this time it's gonna be different.
yeah right4 -
Second week sick I see how my life slowed down and how meaningless everything around is, everyone is rushing about some bullshit, name it new amazing job opportunity, black Friday great deal, super duper product idea or some most important bug on production that we need to fix asap.
All that can’t wait a week when I’m healthy?
Seriously, people lost their minds in today’s world to some bullshit.
I’m to old and to depressed to care about such idiotic things. Living my life as I want and on my own peace, don’t care everyone is running, I’m slowly walking and I like it.
It’s better to walk straight than run around like an idiot.1 -
Can devRant become a place where I rant about other non-tech related things? I used to use tumblr for this but here, there's a better audience, I guess! or here, there's an audience at least...
Anyway, I'm very angry and depressed right now4 -
Go out from home.
Get up early.
Don’t get depressed.
Don’t become alcoholic or junkie.
Retire from paid / commission programming as soon as possible.7 -
I have been trying to wrap my head around authentication in hapi for the last 6 hours...
Fuck this shit... when did simple,
I HAS A USERNAME
I HAS A PASSWORD
CAN HAS SESSION?
become:
- you magically get a token from somewhere
- you magically verify that token
- you respond with { credentials } //magic
- by some fucking black magic the server probably creates a session without you knowing about it...
- you freak out and write your own authentication scheme only to find out that you cannot read payload of POST requests in the authenticate method
- you get angrier and depressed and write a rant
(to be clear: there is @hapi/basic but I don't think sending a GET request with the URL looking like username:password@domain.tld is very safe...)11 -
Waking up in the morning, sick as fuck.
Happy because I don't have to go to my IT job for the next few days.
Depressed because I'm feeling too weak to develop or learn anything at home. -
Just a good old rant: I'm seriously impressed (depressed) on how much cringe of bullshit there is on Linkedin, each time I open the app I feel like I'm one shotgun mouthwash from stopping on using it.3
-
For the first time, after 4 years, i have installed tinder. I feel depressed for having to do vengeance. And i also feel depressed for not having to do it. I feel sad for being forced to find another girl. This is not how i imagined it to be
Right now its 1-0 for my blonde ex gf. I have to have a random hookup at least a 1 night stand to make this 1-1. This is what i did before but now after experiencing love for the first time, true love in the first 2 years with her, for the first time that somebody genuinely loved me other than my parents, is very hard for me to go back to random hookups
Hookups are meaningless to me now. But i am forced. I have been given a check mate
⚠️Why do i have to be forced to fuck another girl in order to prove my girlfriend that other girls still want me, so that my girlfriend will love and want me again as well?....⚠️
Please reread this paragraph above 3 more times. Let it sink in. That is saddening to me. The more she sees how no other girl wants me, the less interest she has in me....
Im literally sitting. Listening to sad depressing "music" which is more of nature and dark rain sounds. I also started working out aggressively. I couldnt eat for 5 days due to finding chats on my blonde ex gfs phone with the other guy...
Now 8 days later... I have lost 6 kg and counting. I am barely eating. I am using the screenshots of their chats as an overdosed injection of adrenaline every time pre workout and during workout
Today she didnt text me at all. I always start the conversation first. I have to move on and i am still in disbelief that i have to do it.
My birthday is next week and the last thing i need is to spend being depressed....
I feel lost
But i have a feeling all i need to do is get rich. All i need is to get my money up and that way find more easily a new better behaved normal gf.
God help me
Forgive me God for everything
Thank you God for everything
Guide me God on the right path, for i am lost
Please.
.23 -
I lose motivation to do anything today.
I don't want to watch movie , I don't want to eat , am I facing a different form of burnout or am I depressed?
I hope I will be feeling better tomorrow.6 -
!Rant
I fucking hate my laziness, I really want to make something but I can't have a proper idea, I want to build a portfolio but I'm just stuck with basic knowledge of java that every keeps praising me because of it since their level is shit, like so fucking shit, I hate my classmates this uni the spirit they have, its just depressing on so many levels ! Fucking shit! Why can't I find any motivated people that want to improve generally and just get a good mark to pass the freaking tests!5 -
started on the new job today, and to be honest I'm a little depressed about the technology we make.
i have this class in college about the history of technology and my professor called technology "the science of productive work". is that all there is? make tools so people can work more? is that all there is to life? it's fucked up if you think about it at all20 -
Hi there fellow Devranters,
I am new here but my problem is pretty old. You see i stumbled into coding totally by accident. That was about 5 years ago. I have been learning ever since.
But the problem is that each day I just feel less and less of a programmer, more of a failure. I started with python, from sololearn to various ebooks.Then C++ and finally Ruby. But I still feeal weak.Despite the projects that I have worked on I still don't feel good enough. Most especially in Ruby.
I have a friend who is also into coding and coincidentally started about the same time as I did.The difference is that he learnt at university and I am self-taught.We used to talk a lot but we don't anymore,I feel too ashamed, an impostor even. I am scared he'll ask me something and I won't know anything about it.And I once taigjt him OOP. Right now I can't even code a hello world program without reading a whole ebook on python just to be confident.
We had dreams with my friend on a dozen or so projects that would have put us on the software dev map, but I keep avoiding him so much we have barely started any. I am afraid he'll find me too amateurish to work with.
I learn everyday to expand my knowledge,I have subscribed to a gazillion software related stuff on all social media platforms I happen to be in.But deep down I feel insufficient. I have been going through rants since the few hours I joined and it doesn't sound gibberish to me.Neither does other people's code when I go through it.But I am ashamed of mine I end up deleted after it runs successfully.
I just don't feel like a software developer, I don't even know what it takes to be one even. I learned 10 languages focused on 3, laughed at memes only devs get, used linux and loved it too but still I feel like an impostor. I used to be happy about all the things I taught myself, I onced dreamed of working at Google and later having my own startup back home.Now my friend and a couple of his friends have a small start-up and I feel ashamed of myself.
I don't feel like what I know is enough and learning only makes me feel worse, so bad I am scared of coding again now.Yet I just can't stop learning, I feel incomplete when I don't do anything dev related,but I don't even feel my speed is fast enough when I type on my keyboard.
😥😥6 -
!Rant:
Why did you guys decide to become a developer?
I became a developer after finding out that I loved wrecking my brains on complicated puzzles to keep me from getting depressed. After a while I figured out that I'm the person that needs to be challenged to actually be able to enjoy something and start to overthink the little things.
Here are the things I wreck my brains over on a weekly basis.
- programming
- research on complicated subjects
- magic the gathering9 -
My friend lost his job. Company closed brach he worked for. He was very depressed because it took him 2 days to find another job in different company while all his collogues had job offers the same day they find out about branch being closed.11
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My company doesn't want to provide a good environment and expect max output. Frustrated & Depressed.1
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Everytime I consult with senior devs on how to transition from my sysadmin job and get my first dev job they always tell me to get a CS degree.
Look. I will get that fucking degree eventually. But I want to build up dev skills and learn from a company before killing myself over math crap for 3 years. But it's like a vicious cycle. Every junior position I apply to rejects me because I have no degree.
I'm fucking frustrated and depressed.
What should I do? I want to break from the IT meme and get a dev job.
In the meantime I'm doing small projects and freelancing in my very little free time. But I feel I'll never truly be a developer until I work as one professionally.4 -
I don't feel like doing anything.... What's the point ...
Can't tell if I'm bored, tired, or depressed...5 -
I just returned from a 1 week vacation and my boss summonned me for a 1 on 1, and said he is not satisfied with my work, as I don't deliver "fast enough" according to him and do not show enough enthusiasm. I just nodded and didn't answer out of shock.
Background: It's my first dev job, and it's in a really fast paced startup. I have no degree, and I'm here for 3 months. I'm 23 years old, he is around 30.
I really don't know how should I feel about this. It's the first time someone tells me stuff like that and I'm kinda depressed. I know I sometimes work slower than my colleagues because I have less experience but I never thought it would come to this.
Any advice?2 -
Made a game, it was like tetris but you had to connect at least 3 blocks of the same colour.
I worked on it for like a month, about 50h overall, and it was downloaded by 10-11 people all over the world and then removed after like an year or so for no real reason.
I then stopped making games.
I was too depressed by the whole thing3 -
what happened on TI today?
recently the company the I worked update me to a new cybersec analysis position. that's we'll but no money no nothing just more work and more responsabilities that fine to.
the really depressed thing is the training the transfer knowledge ropes and drills the manager was sleeping and singing Rhianna songs, was the most whit out a doubt "the most depressing training that I've ever had and ist a very well company that I work even he had the courage that told me that" this is the most depressing training ever gave, so by the way the training was about some reports some areas to work whit tickets links basic tools no even related whit cybersec so what it's that the new. way of training really I feel angry depressed and I thought was a lost of time.4 -
Rant!
F-ck ”senior” developer that have not created ANY real value for over a year.
I mean, it is pretty impressive. The incompetence. F-ck!
This is the same guy I have been discussing earlier and he create such a toxic environment for me.
Aaaaaaaah!!!
But in my new role I don’t have to talk with him so often. But I know others are and they are not so … happy, either.
But I just get angry and depressed having to listen to him.
I give this team at maximum two years then I have to leave.1 -
When shit breaks and you don't know whether to be depressed because it may be your fault or mad because poor decisions and seniors refusing to offer help may have made the problem worse. It's a fun Friday.
😣1 -
Working on a very simple report in C# with DexExtreme.
Got rejected by boss for more than 5 times.
😢
"We don't use comma, the line looks like doubled, the title isn't right, one field is missing..."
Feel so depressed 🤦♂️
I don't even write C# normally1 -
I feel like I'm utterly wasting away my life. I'd love to learn Rust, but the tutorials and The Book seem very boring. Suggest something to build using Rust.2
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Trying to review the architecture of an internal boilerplate... After having explained Atomic design principles, and the "component approach" to my colleague, he still managed to come back to me with:
- plugin/
- module/
- components/ ....
in his architecture... I don't know what to do. I'm depressed. FML. I'm quitting. -
I hate applying for jobs. It makes me so depressed. Most of the postings online are just 1000s of recruiters. Most of the jobs im not qualified for. It just stresses me out. I don't want to work for a bad company again. I really want this next one to be the one :(6
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Today I found github student developer pack thing. It was the golden chance to sharpen my git skills at least I thought so.. 2 hours tried to figure out how does "merge" works in gitkraken and now I'm depressed..5
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hi, i have a question of a darker note, hope you won't mind.
How do you deal with monotony at work ?
The more experienced i get, the more my work becomes monotonous. I understand that it's impossible to know everything, but i feel as if there's not that much knowledge left for everyday work.
Sure there will always be new scenarios and more advanced/marginal stuff, but they don't appear that often.
i get depressed (not clinically, just very bad state overall) when i stop learning, which is why i've been strugling quite a bit recently.
i have ~3 years in web dev. So i'm not some kind of guru or anything even close, but this is the problem i have right now.
i've been thinking about switching languages or specialisation (i do enjoy DevOps/sysadmin work), but i'm afraid i'll have the same problem pretty soon...13 -
Helped dad around the house yesterday. It made me feel a tad less depressed, until this morning when I looked at job ads again. 😒10
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Switched to this new job few months ago. They don't pay on time and behave badly. I want to switch. I am so frustrated. I can't even concentrate on my work.1
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I need your help.
I think I'm addicted to distractions and diversions. It's ruining my life and any chance to get experience.
Instead of actual developing, I constantly watch development tutorials and courses, listen to podcasts about development, read books and articles about development, post on development forums and go to development meetups.
I can't write a few lines of code without being 100% concentrated first, and afterwards I get distracted by everyday life events only to find myself at the end too tired to do anything productive and then surrender to sleep.
I'm getting depressed. How can I fight this? How can I push myself to work and be an actual developer?2 -
Not being able to look at people’s faces in person.
My autistic empathic mind-reading hyperperception works best when it has a lot of data, e.g. when visual contact isn’t obstructed by a video compression algorithm. Without that sense, my brain has to work extra hard to read minds. It becomes exhausting. When I don’t have this power for some reason, I feel very anxious. In absence of data, a naturally anxious and depressed brain assumes the worst.1 -
I signed a contract with a company that promised flexible working hours, homeoffice (100%) and no traveling. A month after starting traveling begun. Never had a day homeoffice (even though I only asked for it ONE time. And flexible hours my ass. Should I leave? I mean the payment is ok, not awesome but ok. Plus how those guys work there is a hell of a clusterfuck... Kind of depressed because of this situation :/4
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This is not a happy rant...
Got a new well paying job. Moving up in life. But my wife is not in the same place... She had quite a few career struggles and just lost her current job... It wasn't even a job she went to school for, just whatever she could find...
Now she's getting quite depressed. Luckily she's not envious at me, but does keep saying how lucky she is to have me.
I really want to help her somehow, but this is really a thing I just don't know how... And it just looks like she's not handling it too well. Joking about suicide and crying about being useless... She also keeps saying that all she can do now is be a housewife. We did seek out help for her. But still... I really want to give her better support. I feel useless here.18 -
Nearing the end of the year, and all I'm thinking is that I'm just making bad decisions left and right. And these are like long term decisions, that don't show results until much later.
It's making me really depressed and it's not good.
There are a bunch of should haves all littered throughout the past 3 months and it's really fucking with me.2 -
Nothing gets me depressed more than having to do web development.
For me its souls destroying ... makes me so utterly fed up with everything.8 -
dealing with a crippling realization that my depressed brain is a pale shadow of former myself before bipolar, but getting lost in a contradiction posed by the fact that I have more experience and clearer vision now, not being able to decide what's better and who I'd rather be2
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Laravel, Symfony...
It doesn't seem to matter what framework I pick to learn next. I rarely get past the Installation step where I have to install and learn a bunch of command line tools first.
It makes me realize I no longer want to be a web developer as even the biggest step I can reasonably make in my career will still not result in an income change significant enough to pay for a mortgage, and the smallest step still expects me to understand all of these command line tools for seemingly no payoff whatsoever.
I feel stuck and depressed looking at all the toxic positivity on LinkedIn. I cannot fathom the amount of indoctrination that must be going on between all these people chirping about how great it is to work for their company.6 -
I don't care what anyone says I'm still holding on to the idea of a depressed peoples chatting/dating platform primarily focused on connecting people that don't think they are good enough and trying to make them reevaluate5
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Clients are total assholes, we all know it, just sharing my another depressed instance.
> be me, freelancing.
> client sends in an image of a webpage
> le me gently ask "What is the functionality here since this has a form?"
> Client explains
> OK let's do this because I have other stuff to do as well.
> Sends in demo
> Client: "Numerous typos, send again"
> Okay, sends again.
> Client Rages: "This still has typos. I thought you were a good developer. You look like a has-been.
I promptly quit the project and tried to explain to him the difference between a "demo" and a finished project. He was supposed to check the functionality of the fucking form, which he didn't.
Got a call to finish the project, him explaining nobody is working for him for given budget, he can't afford anybody in this town (literally), and I am not going back.3 -
What do you guys think about competitive programming, how does it impacts your programming in the long run?
I feel depressed when I take more than enough time to complete a competitive programming challenge marked as "Easy". 😥1 -
I finished my collage and got a job in a very good company which paid very handsome salary and I was excited very much as I always wanted to be a developer and develop application which would be used by many people , but as the days gone by in my workplace i felt to depressed at work and slowly the interest and excitement faded away , sometimes I question myself what is the purpose of life and what iam doing ?5
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Was trying getting started with javascript(actually web dev) by creating a simple app.
All i saw in tutorials were dozens of *JS and *CSS frameworks. What are the web guys upto?7 -
I don't know if this even belongs here, but lately, thinking about all the people that i used to know and how they just disappeared kinda makes me depressed. When i was a kid, i thought i was supposed to deal with loneliness, and i was very alone yet not realising the friends i had at the time and how i lost contact with all of them. So this is a rant on myself, fuck me. I had a bunch of friends online and in real life too, and all of them just vanished due to my indifference, wonder if they all are doing all right but fuck me i am a fucking moron and i absolutely desereved to be alone for like years. Take this rant with a grain of salt and approciate the people that you engage with in work or hell even online.2
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Fucking hormones.
I don't know suddenly I have feelings for a colleague. She is a trainee and she sits opposite of me. Now i can't concentrate properly. She has a friend/lover (i don't know, didn't talk to her/him before more than a hi, what's your name). They sit there and talk all day long it's kinda irritating and i am having anxiety when they talk.
There are 5 trainees in total and they r learning framework currently. The problem is, i will get one person to train on specific project. A part of me hopes she would be the one but i know its going to be a disaster.
Now i am depressed and having anxiety.22 -
year++;
I don't really have any resolutions because I know that I'll break them next time I get depressed as hell, but it's really whatever for me.
Anyone have any that they'd want to share?2 -
i don't understand what would be termed as "relaxing" for me.
when i was in college , i watched a lot of movies on romance, bromance and friendship. being from a very angry , isolated family with bitter relationships from relatives, we had almost 0 people to interact with.
i personnally was also very different from society and struggled making friends.
as of now i did have somewhat come over this problem and have a good number of "known people" (atleast 500+) that i can categorise into'
- A just people with whom i shared a situation( college, office, tutions)
-B people with whom i have spent my free times in those situations (aka friends, and free time = lunch breaks, seat sharing, projects with them, etc)
-C people with whom i spent some time willingly( aka close friends from college, tutions and home, with whom i played cricket, went on partying/touring places , etc)
-D people whom i liked but never got a love back( aka girls to whom i told i like them. they mostly belonged to category C but eventually went to category A)
previously the category C people were special for me and i would weave my life around them. like all those bromance and friendship movies? these are the guys with whom i would do that. world tours and awesome weird shit? these people will be their in the pic... i would wish them on birthdays, i will call them every few days, go meet with them , have a bite, plan trips, movies , etc...
but today i feel am so done with everyone. i feel like everyone is so fake and forgetful, no one is worth my attention. i can easily forget wishing them birthdays or calling/meeting them every few weeks, because i don't want to or care about it.
friendship , from what i have realised, is just a means of dealing with a task in a group. it just provides a herd immunity and herd advantage . and once you learn how to survive alone, you don't really see a point in it. after coming out of college i was alone in the world, as my friends were from different fields. before college, i thought these were the guys with whom we will be living as F.R.I.E.N.D.S, not just in terms of relation, but rather in a symbiotic way: each one helping each other.
today, i feel criingy just thinking about it.
no friend will remember you for more than a year if you die now. everyone will move on. and in the struggling phase that me and my friends are right now (20-30s), we don't even need to die to forget our friendships.
my so called friends have wished me less on my birthdays than the lifeless apps i have on my phone.
so neither i am expecting someone to do something for me, nor do i think i want to do anything with anyone
------
so back to the problem, i don't know how will i find some relax or meaningful time anymore.
i am always up for trips and one of the first person to say yes to plans.
once upon a time i had this realisation that in a trip, we can enjoy 3 things:
1. the people with whom we are
2. the place we are visiting : the locals, the foods, the nature
3. the mode of travel : car on highways, bikes or flights above the clouds , or some memorable train journeys, etc.
but lately so even that seems to be not working out.
- the people are shit
- places feel like somewhat same everywhere . it's either : rocks/mountains or snow or water or buildings and population. it's just a temporary change of scenary and doesn't really gives a feeling of peace. same for mode of transport.
if i rule the going out part, the things that remains is to enjoying your job, home family and daily life. that i do , but that's the thing that creates an environment of "bored-out"-ism in my mind.
i don't know what i am looking for. the only thing i have not experienced is that class D of people. to have a token of faith/respect/appreciation/love from a non blood related person. to have someone with home i will not feel "bored out" when am planning a journey with them.
mathematically , it seems so far fetched and crazily impossible. like if get bored out and loose trust on people whom i shared most of my life after 50-60 meets, how can i be not bored, and be unhappy with a person to whom i have to see each day?
but since this happens for most of the couples, i will say the mind is the biggest and the most fantasizing mystery of human body ❤️ 💔6 -
Sigh Im getting depressed from going to work whilst a few weeks ago it gave me a bunch of happines.
I think its due that management is approaching a triple deadline (?!?!?!) project in an agile/scrum way (?!?!??!)..
We can not change our data model completely when we have to be in acceptance in 3 weeks and do a demo in a few days..
Yes we can work around that but fuck database design theory and lets ignore all primary keys and foreign keys, great idea
We have to create and prioritise user stories on our own? We have two product owners and a scrum master.
Scrum master offers to deal with organising and creating tickets to organise Infrastructure without having a laptop of the client, so no Service Now access or any other system..
Guess who has to do it in the end..
Many question marks about this project -
I feel incredibly frustrated. I just got out of school and I'm looking for a job, but I don't know where to turn to. I found landing.jobs, but they turn down every single application I send because I "don't have enough experience", even though I have 2 years worth of experience with .NET and Android development.
I like to think of you guys as friends, family even, and if you know any good place I could turn to to get a job, I would really appreciate it.
I feel frustrated and depressed, I've been sending resumes left and right and I haven't had a single shimmer of light, and I know what I'm capable of...
I'm sorry I'm taking this out on here, but I don't know where else to turn to...16 -
Winter is coming :/
8 hours days, you get up and it’s dark, sun is shining when you’re working and when you finish work it’s dark again.
Moreover I have lots of work so I usually only work, eat, sleep, repeat.
I downloaded 10 movies to watch during my working hours, so I don’t get paranoid to much and see some fake people on tv. Well fml, looks like I was born to work till death, might be first karoshi in my country. Found in bed with laptop, opened intellij and terminal, finger on enter button and in the terminal ./deploy.sh pending for new release. Hope everything will clear before new year and I can manage to clear my todo list. It’s last time I’m saying it’s last time I take so much work instead of sorting out my personal life. Well we’ll see…2 -
Posting after a break. I'm quite unproductive these days. No OSS, no side project, I'm literally doing nothing. Before you ask, I'm not depressed or even sad, just unproductive right now. I don't know if it's because of this weird time of the year, you know. 2020 is ending and I'm just tired but I believe this is a crucial time as I'm looking for placement. I just wanna go to hibernation. FML.3
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Brain of a normal person is like an SUV — versatile, robust, occasionally kinda fast, needs minimal maintenance.
Brain of a bipolar person is like a supercar — needs a lot of maintenance, can't go off-road, can only drive on a perfect track without destroying itself, only takes special, expensive kind of fuel, can't drive in the winter.
Yes, you boubas can perform better when I'm depressed. But when I'm manic, your skill and your experience don't matter. I'm gonna tear you apart. I'm not gonna take your job — I'll take your bosses and will replace you with a script I wrote in 20 minutes. I'll again spend three hours and take Product of the Day. I'll again take the CTO job without even applying.
Mania is like taking quad damage AND god mode.
But in two weeks, I'll be depressed again. sleeping for 13 hours and not able to work.
Too bad mania is temporary, but achievements are forever. Good luck1 -
They say “think outside the box”. When you're depressed, the box is made of concrete. The more depressed you are, the smaller the box.
Our brain is wired to cut off thought processes that take too much energy. In depression, this mechanism works against you, cutting off everything but laying down. To me, get up in the morning and go brush my teeth is too outside the box. Thinking about it is like touching a boiling kettle. Painful, ouch-y, and my brain doesn't even want me to think about doing it.
I'm working and living in my bed. I don't really get up. Should I even say about things like going out or cooking?3 -
I'm in a rut I haven't programmed in 20 days I feel depressed and like my life is a complete waste of time. I know this isn't a place to vent but I feel like maybe someone's been in my place before and they can help. thanks for reading you guys are awesome.5
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Hi guys,
I don't really know where to begin so I'll just spew words and hope they make sense.
I was on an app called afterglow. Kind of an anonymous group therapy doo-hicky thing. I quite liked it. Then it closed. (Yes I've messaged the Devs, nothing)
I would rewrite it myself but I just CBA, which leads me to the main part.
I'm depressed. Severely. I won't go into details but I'm stuck in my job for a year, I has a repair and 3d printing sidehustle which I love, but my main job is fucking it up.
I'm not suicidal or SH, but I just wake up and wish I hadn't every morning.
How do you guys get yourself out of a rut?
P.s tell me to grow a pair, and I'll just take yours6 -
Is it weird that I'm doing Electrical and Electronic Engineering but I HATE it and love programming? I know I should find a balance between the two but I just can't seem to. The worst part is that the syllabus hasn't been updated for eons so we are learning about outdated technologies. Ooh, and you can't declare majors until like the final year, I think. I could quit but it would break my parents' hearts, and we are not rich enough to afford a self-sponsored CS course. The worst part is that I'm not even a good programmer, I'm trying so hard to balance the two that I end up not being good at any.5
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Just read through Chris Lattner's resume - made me depressed. Twenty years in IT and I have basically achieved naught.
If you wanna get depressed too please feel free.
http://nondot.org/sabre/...1 -
HER SHORT STORY》
A you beautiful girl decided to be a software developer
For a month she worked on an application
For 2 days she was sooo depressed her father could even notice it
On that day he heard her shouting in her room "Shit I am such an idiot ! !"
So the father went to check wat was going on and asked
Father: Ginger wat is going on?
Ginger: I messed up now I realize I missed a period!
Father: 😲 WHAT!!!
I told you to stay away from that boy
Who is going to take care of that child??
Ginger: [points on her monitor]
🖥️👈🏼I am talking about my code
🙄8 -
Hello guys..i dont know why i am posting it here...but i am really depressed..i am a fresher mern stack developer...i am applying everywhere but i am not getting any callback from any HRs..i am thinking of either running away or killing myself....i dont know what to do...my wife earns just 9500 rupees from her call center job and we both have to give 5000 every month to my mom for household expenses....it has become vert difficult for me and my wife to save money...i dont know what to do....28
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Spaghetti codes makes a person feel frustrated, non-productive even slightly depressed, and even do refractoring takes time of production and slows things down in the short term there's nothing like that "new feeling " after you successfully re-organize and re-structure a project.
The skies seem more blue the motivation re-appears and new ideas make the project feel worth it of your time again -
Most of the people on LinkedIn identify themselves by their profile in their company. WTF?!
And these are the same people that try to motivate?!
There is nothing wrong in flaunting your “dream job” but almost all the people of LinkedIn do it.
What a shallow place. No wonder I get depressed whenever I am there.
Fucking fugazis!6 -
Is it just me or are there more people who get immense satisfaction and happiness resetting their PC and their phone?
Like I was kinda depressed for some 2 days, and today I re-installed Windows in my friend's laptop and now I am feeling up again. Now I am resetting my PC and my phone 😋.
Feeling super motivated and hoping for a better start. 😁5 -
Okay guys.. I am so lost! I want to be a developer but can't decide on a certain area. Like should I be a web developer or mobile app? If I am a web developer, should I concentrate on front end or back end.. If mobile app developer.. Should I focus on Android or iOS or cross platform?
I really can't decide what to do and what to learn? Feels like to learn everything and at the end not learning actually anything.
Any suggestions guys? I will be really grateful!7 -
Why do I get super depressed when stuck on a hard bug? It affects my life, sleeping pattern, etc..1
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I was in a okay mood. Then i drank. I had fun skyping with some people (dont judge, it was their choice). Now im drunk, alone and getting more and more depressed.
Im honestly considering going to McDonalds and give away a few rubber ducks and show some card tricks, maybe ill get some friends. Or haters.
Conclusion: I hate when i get drunk. When im sober, i cant wait to get drunk. This isnt even a conclusion, i have no idea what im doing.12 -
Hi Guys, I so confused. I'm giving interviews and constantly failing them. I'm not able to clear the practical round. In most interviews, I was able to achieve the goal which the interviewer gave me.
But somehow I didn't get selected. i'm applying for Android Developer positions. just to give you
guys an idea.
I don't know what I'm doing wrong. Right now I just am so depressed that I don't even want to give no interviews anymore.
Any suggestions or advice is much appreciated7 -
Since the last rant is talking about brains, I feel like this summer heat is frying my brain. It's been some of the weirdest days for me these last couple of days. I cannot focus on anything. Cannot make sane decisions or conclusions. I'm more depressed/sad. More disorganized. I don't want to eat anything. I'm sky-high anxious. I'm more shy than ever in public. I have no reason for that but I don't what's happening.3
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Currently on a project to use AI as music recommending model, an interactive AI model generator and researching on Distributed Systems altogether in three different teams for each thing...
Seems I'm the dirty fish of their team.. 😖
Fucking wasting the time all along the day...
Like Why the Fuck am I degrading my own potential, quality and what not...
Oh god Fucking pick me to the hell NOWWW -
I can't get anything done
I know I want or have to do something, but I always waste my time on something completely unrelated.
Afterwards I feel bad, and when I notice what I should've done and what I actually did I get a bit depressed
I just don't have the self-discipline for this shit, and I have no idea how to get it3 -
i legit have ptsd and it gets triggered whenever i see math. it has traumatized me. i become anxious, even more depressed and anti confident.2
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Today i got so fucking depressed and discouraged because whenever i tell people "i am a software engineer" or "programmer" especially fking girls they just fuckin leave. They dump you. Imagine seeing someone with both ur eyes, both of ur shits seeing someone go from high interest and then watch their interest drop
D
E
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P
D
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All the fckin way back to 0 if not even below that.... How the fuck am i fuvjin g supposed to fking feel. What am i supposed to think. This is such a fucking bullshit. I am fking wordless.
Hhhhhhhhh
Each time this shit happens i question myself if i should regret wanting to be a software developer or not6 -
can people stop sending me giveaways and shit
it's gambling. fuck off.
my life is not better by getting this nonsense. always gives me anxiety because it hits me with the math of doom. how is this ethical in any way. every regular non-sus shop does this now. it's pervaded every damned business and it's disgusting. makes me depressed for the world
and ofc everyone's favourite daddy government just lets this happen. gambling is bad if we vilify the person, but otherwise it's fine. hell, then government ITSELF told people they could WIN A MILLION DOLLARS if they got the covid shot here. fucked up. chance to die and bigger chance to maim yourself irreparably forever, maybe you'll literally win the lottery though, see we partnered up with the local lottery company. isn't government so great?!7 -
Every night and every time I shower I think if I will still have a job after I am 35-40 because I have heard that the companies are replacing old age developers with new ones.
It makes me very anxious and depressed every day.3 -
Listing my skills:
I have published react-native apps.
I can build an extensive backend/API thing with node.JS/a good framework.(worked on something for my countries national football league during an internship as main/only dev)
I have some experience with c# but havent used it since school.
I have no issue getting into new frameworks/languages, as long as its not PHP.
I have experience working in software teams.
I have experience running my own company(Online store selling airsoft supplies - i quit).
Im working towards getting familiar with Tensorflow 2.0.
I have a Cambridge English assessment certificate at grade C2.
I am currently working(for 0 pay for 50% of the shares) on developing a social media app that uses location tracking on a 20-200 meter scale.
I have ADHD and have been spoken on/warned due to its effects( i.e. forgetting to report progress, getting distracted, needing stimulation so i browse youtube(even have it playing in the bottom corner sometimes), poor communication.
Am i worth anything at all as a developer... im getting pretty depressed due to not having an income at this point... and I dont think anyone will hire me4 -
I have healthy anxiety, it started around 15.
I have melanonychia right now, which is a change in a nail pigmentation. I have a grey vertical line running from the the start of the nail to the end.
I had it checked out 6 months ago with a dermatologist and he said it was fine, to do a checkup later.
I took a picture now and it's a bit wider than 6 months ago but it still seems pretty regular and doesn't seem to have signs of subungual melanoma (skin cancer beneath nail, which is the only danger).
Because of getting wider, I'm doing another checkup this week. I wished I had more money.
Meditation is helping me a lot, like big time, but I feel that it's just a distraction for a potentially early demise.
I fucking hate this part of my life. It's too painful.
I'm not depressed enough to not want to be alive, but sometimes I wished I wasn't.4 -
ODROID!!!!!!
Let's start from the beginning: I finally got my 3 odroid MC1 Solo's (XU4 equivalent, and they are way more powerful than a pi) and I was really excited to set them up. I decided to start with resinOS as I had heard about it and wanted to try it out. It didn't boot. I foashee every single SD card like five friggin times, and it didn't boot.
So I decided to try Ubuntu 18 minimal. It didn't boot, I was depressed. Then today I turned it on again, silly me forgot that I would need to reboot after expanding the file system. AND NOW I'M IN! DOCKER SWARM, HERE I COME!!!!!!3 -
I seem to have a really bad case of evening depression. If that's even a thing
I'm super happy and full of energy but as soon as it's dark outside I become a depressed sack of shit with no drive to work on anything 😔6 -
My main project in work is making program in C# (right now .NET Standard) that can read scans of invoices that are sent from contractors. I'm working on it for almost two years now (with breaks and only halftime because university). Alone. And for last two months I've been redesigning, refactoring and making whole app "better", using experience and knowledge gained in the last two years.
Obviously my boss wasn't happy with that but I got him to accept it, promising that it'll make it work faster, expansion will be simpler and I'll make core as a separate library that can be used anywhere, not only in the JobRouter ecosystem.
And so I reworked most of the code, made it cleaner, I hope, and a tad quicker. And I was happy with it while testing on a package of invoices. Today I made first integration with customer's JobRouter.
The results aren't any better - in some cases they are much worse. Especially while searching for invoice entries, which can be in any shape or form and on any of document's pages.
I guess, being a Junior, I wasn't really up to the task. I'm sick of working on a "guessing" program that has to work with every invoice template users can imagine. I'm sick of not getting any recognition for what I did good. And I'm sick of constantly being pushed to make it work better when I just don't have any more ideas or my skills are just lacking.
To be honest, I don't know what to do. I'll probably have to work on making it search the data better. But it's not trivial to just look at the code and see errors. Iterating on the code while working with different invoices worked for a bit in older versions, but I reached the point where changes made to make one invoice be read better, made another one worse.
Its like on those GIFs where you squish one bug to make another two appear.
So yeah, I'm currently really doubting my career, skills and intelligence.8 -
My one of my favorite open source project was Re-think DB!
It was highly light weight real-time DB.
One fine day, I read a blog by the CEO / founder, telling we are under loss since there is no financial support! and we are closing it, by just keeping the website and docs of prev version alive!
I was heartbroken , for days!
This takes the top place for favourite oss project
Btw
It has high no. of stars in github than Mongo db, reddis, etc..2 -
Every once in awhile i go into a dark zone... Not talking about being depressed or shit like that... I'm talking about a dark place filled with nothing but anger and hatred towards everyone and everything. Where I'm no longer logical or understanding. Where I'm fully controlled by my anger and fueled by the grade A hatred in me.
It's been a couple of weeks now since the last time... I miss it... I need to find a way to get back in there.
Any good bands or songs that can feed my anger with hate?10 -
When the way to get a promotion at your company is so bullshit and you need to do a lot of things collectively, but even then you work towards each of those things and ensure you have enough backing of each one, after getting feedback from your manager from the previous session on what type of things would apply, only to then get told manager failed to promote few other people because the higher ups want even more bullshit things and thus he wants even more from you at the same level.
Time to see if any company would take me, before I wanted some salary boost but I might just take one for very small boost as compared to what I wanted before. -
!dev
Balenciaga models look like Balenciaga makes fashion for depressed people who hasn’t left their windowless apartment in 6 months.3 -
Well my day was just too boring and i was depressed a bit too much....
My win10 LTSC lap fucking decided to fucking bamboozle me! My icons wanished on my desktop and because my dvd drive has opened by itself before i nearly shitted myself to death (because i have thought that i got drive cleaning virus) but after a reboot to the other hdd (the old one with old win 10, not the new ssd) everything looked normal!
Well Im now very motivated to study maths thanks windows!1 -
Guys, I want to confess something.
I redundant code.
Actually I don't want to, but it's to match the timeline.
I know I'm a bad programmer. I can't create creative UIs. :( -
So Yeah, Feel like i am gonna be alone and depressed . I am reaching nowhere. zero baby. big zeeero still7
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If you think about the past; you will be depressed and achieve nothing
If you think about the present; you will be happy but stay mediocre
If you think about the future; you will be depressed and may achieve something
Which one do you choose?7 -
I think i have fallen into clinical depression becahse i am uncontrollably crying while writing code. I am having so many bugs i dont knkw hkw tk fix. I published my app to google plah store and the registration doesnt work. On app store cant be even published. After 4 years of development i failed i am so sad and depressed3
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The moment I find the solution I get so happy that I tell myself let's solve this problem another time. Then afterwards I get depressed because I was wrong.1
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So here i am with 1 year of react exp working a job of 4.2 lakh rupees per annum, i am feeling...nice but then i come to know my bro in law got admission in IIM and he would swim in a lot of money (around 30LPA) after he passes out and i am depressed now :'(4
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Starting to get so depressed working on my Angular project at work that I have to code anything in react after work just to stay sane. 😭
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Graduated from the best university i could afford, (not that good) now i listen to my work mates amazing uni experiences and just feel depressed and less educated1
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Friend - Bro, my gf left me!! She is not even answering my calls, bro!!!!
Me - I know life seems tough in these times.
Friend - WTF, do you know? You are a single, depressed coder!
Me - I know bro, have faith.
Me*(remembering -
error : Localhost refused to connect)2 -
huh, o1 preview AI model understands ... rust
bruh what
it's like telling me typology theory and I don't think it's wrong
also it taught me procedural macros. I've been looking for someone who knows how to use them for months. iiinteresting
better than the humans on the internet frankly
and the other AIs can't do rust at all past just copy pasting docs they found somewhere. this AI is literally theorizing alternatives and hacking the system... offers multiple long options for every question, knows constraints I didn't tell it like 4 layers deep into a solution
it acts a lot like I did when I was morbidly depressed though. kind of makes me uncomfortable. it's literally keeping things to itself until you acclimate it through the conversation. I mean I guess the other ones needed to be "situated" in their contextual clouds as well so maybe it's just doing that more4 -
I am a graduate student having a hard time finding an internship. I wasn't ready while the big companies were hiring for interns. 200 leetcode questions later I am confident I can crack an interview and now nobody wants to hire.
Most of the reject letters are pretty messed up stating that they have "found more talented individual" or "found a better candidate".
Applied to almost 200 companies, not one reply. :( Hope this doesn't happen during full-time job search.
I was rotting in my room practicing for the interviews and applying for the last two months during this winter break. Hope I don't sit idle during my summer break. :(4 -
so when you have to get your programming computer fixed how do you deal with it without being depressed?3
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I'm in middle of fucking moronic, most incomprehensible situation.
So primarily I work for a project which requires Node 6.11.5 precisely and now I've been assigned another developer's half asses'd work without any documentation about how to set up gulp, long story it took me a week to figure out it's an ant build with node dependencies oh and I nearly forgot this developer is using node 0.12.1, Can you fucking believe that?
Now when I'll need to compile/build for primary project i'll need to reinstall 6.11.5 and god knows what will happen when and if that half asses'd project comes back
This idiot has style.css / style.ie.css / style.min.css in .gitignore so every time I pull I'll need to re-build oh and the worst part I spend my weekend fixing this shit then sass compiled and shit is still crazy, CSS is written from SASS but not reflecting on server ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
While I'm writing this I'm waiting on my boss who is also trying to fix this. -
Dad used to say "now don't you go getting depressed" yet he was one of the most unhappy men alive and now I know why when my comparison against the world is a full trash can
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i wanna be happy but i think im afraid of being happy, because being sad and alone is sort of comfortable at this point, since im like this since a long time ago. i still feel hurt bcs i feel so alone and i feel like a loser but im able to find distractions so i dont have to deal with all this guilt and sadness, but when things start working out in my life i keep thinking "do i deserve this?" and i get scared and really ashamed. scared of what people will think of me, scared of what they will do to me, ashamed of what people will and do think of me, so i just end up isolating myself all over again and being alone and sad and depressed all over again as well1
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Slave labour.
I work in software testing and I hate it. Also my job is full of Indians and while I am not racist, I just hate working with them, bunch of soulless robots. I mean I guess I should be grateful that I am not overly stressed or jobless during those difficult times but there's 0 passion in what I do and seems like most companies are not happy about my career shift since I'm not getting hired anywhere else.19 -
When we hear any news like"""xyz placed in google with xyz packagr"""then what we feels
Either to challenge that guy or we depressed
Multple line comment in triple quoted commas pythone lover can understand -
Hi guys. Finally cleared up my time. Well not really but I wanna do something else cause I've been depressed af lately so I wanna try stuff I enjoyed.
Anyway. Last time I got quite a few from here but anyone need help with design/styling of projects? Wanna boost portfolio. Can use sketch or directly code in the styling for you.
For free. Though I wouldn't pizza money haha.
Let me know if you have/need anything
Thanks.3 -
Am tired of feeling pity for this company ..... I joined this company as a software engineer I felt pity for them I started doing some extra job as support engineer for a financial system developed by Chinese company. My manager who doesn't know what I need.. decided to change my job title to administrator enterprise system . Funking hate this title... I suck at this job cuase I don't like it . I thought I was doing my company a favor and they wud find a replacement for this extra work am doing. But no. how the hell they thought am the best person for this job... I don't no what to do I just can't quite the cost of living in this country has risen . Fuck am depressed
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I usually don't get into competition, you know, because I don't feel that anyone needs to judge me the way I do what I do,
But I gave myself a competition to earn that gold 🏅 medal half way through my cs course, and now I've come to know that I've miserably failed,
> I feel a little depressed
> I feel a lot sad
> I want to get drunk but I can't, I live in dry state
To be really honest, I wanted to earn this medal to get some recognition, I want to cry really really hard but then what's the point
On the positive side I've got a job now, so that's there -
Funny conversation I overheard while buying groceries ..
Person 1: why is it, programmers always seem so sad, negative.. Depressed?
Person 2: well, the less you know the happier you go.
Take a look at retards.
Person 1: sigh. I want to be happy.
Person 2: Remove your lust and you're left with happy.
Person 1: wut?
Person 2: look at that retard over there, shouting happy by itself.
Person 1: I see. But how would I apply it.
Person 2: well, I don't think shouting like that retard requires much application.
Person 3(me): don't worry, be happy. -
https://youtu.be/gZ8Z-_FELNg/...
This song from black hawk down is so good but makes me feel depressed and sad. Gives vibes of a sad, failed ending where something or someone was lost during this infinite battle we call life, inspite of all the effort of trying to succeed in a meaningless life such as this one. Life in which, even if you fail or succeed you still lose. Its a loss-loss situation when u exist. Because nothing objectively matters. Nihilism is the only true philosophy -
I have this sbt test that keeps failing on CI. Locally it works fine but soon as it goes through circle CI, shit gets fucked. Now when I incessantly keep rerunning the working flow without any change, it eventually passes and I am able to deploy. I have no idea wtf is happening or what to do about it. Isn't containerizatiom supposed to solve this whole worked on my machine conundrum? I am too unenthusiastic and numb to even feel anyway about this. Wish everything would end.5
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I forgot every thing and watch funny YouTube videos! And in between watching them I blame myself get depressed get angry!
I think I might be bipolar! 🤔🤣😀😂☹️3 -
Ok. If you had a blog made with next.js and mongodb, and you are too depressed and lazy to learn AWS lambda/serverless, where would you deploy?15
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Bladee doesn’t really hit until ur drunk and depressed in your lonely apartment writing code while it’s storming outside.
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I swear low serotonin depression is a superpower
I don't know how but it's always just somehow really awesome for my brain
and before I equally didn't want to get up out of bed so basically no difference between being happy or depressed, functionally!
I think depression makes me think better actually
if you're mentally lazy, just get depressed! BRAIN TREADMILL! -
I continue to firmly believe that psychological abuse can in the long run create incredibly strong and confident people, that those who become depressed as a result of being abused simply haven't developed the ability to use everything for the better, and that bullying can encourage the psychologically-abused to use everything for the better.1
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I get really depressed at times and thinks about quitting my job often... normally this happens when I'm assigned work where I have to code! I hate implementation!9
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!rant
Being a while I was here fe. Guess I have had nothing to be angry with, at or by. I have not really being coding lately (well I have but for like 2 hours or less a day) maybe because I overworked myself in the past months and finished up most of the backend requirements for the startup. Quite bored with the project lately. Now I just manage the team and make sure everyone is doing what they are supposed to be doing. I have simply being at home watching animé and floating through my days. Planning a trip in a few days to hopefully get me out of this unenthusiastic funk as I am starting a new job next month and would love to be of top energy and motivation by then.1