Her: Hey, just heard what John did to you.

Me: Yea. I can't believe he screwed me over like that. I thought he was my friend.

Her: Don't worry. Forget about the bustard. You know #FFF

Me: 🙁 #FFF? What does white got to do with all this.

Her: What???

Me: #FFF. This is white.

Her: Nooooo. It means Fuck Fake Friends. As in the G. Eazy song.

Me: Ohhh😐

So I accidentally published my AWS keys to GitHub, stupid me. I realize this the next day.

$ git reset
$ git push
Reset keys in AWS

I was too late. Bot already stole the keys and started up 53 EC2 instances. Racked up $4000+ of compute time (probably Bitcoin mining, I'd assume)

4 weeks later, I finally have this shit disputed and settled.

Don't test with hardcoded keys. You WILL forget about them. Env vars always. That is all.

It's friday, don't forget to push your code before you go home 😊

Don't forget the WHERE in the DELETE FROM.

Shared screen with a client over Skype. Showed them in Postman that their API wasn't working as expected. It was expecting a json. Instead it was giving error code 400 instead of 200.
Message :
"Error: No error. All OK"

I'll never forget the words of the client:

"Don't use all this fancy software, you don't know how to call APIs, open Internet Explorer or chrome and paste it in the bar. You'll see All OK, means all is okay."

*insert you dense mf meme here*

GF: please remember the flowers!
Me: I'll set a reminder.
GF: and don't forget to wrap them in water.
Me: I'll see what I can do about the laws of physics.
GF: ... I swear to god..
Me: yes yes I'll wrap them in water.

Friend: What's that?

Me: DuckDuckGo. It's my default search engine.

Friend: Try using Google instead, it's better.

Me: But Google spies on you.

Friend: So?

Me: Don't you care about your privacy?

Friend: It's not like they are going to kill me. It doesn't matter.

Me: *mumbles* typical muggle...

I'm surprised that people could care less for their privacy. I would ban all things google, but I need google docs.

Also, my idiotic school requires gmail and google classroom. Oh, and did I forget to mention we have to use chromebooks!

Today I found out my math teacher used to program in C++

I'm finally not the only programmer in school.

But she said her skills are outdated since that was a long time ago, but it's better than nothing! :D

We have alot in common. We're both bookworms, we both like to write, we're both Ravenclaw, we're both Erudite, and we both like to program.

I can safely say, I no longer despise my math teacher. I don't hate her, but I get annoyed how she's always absent right before a test.

Hopefully I can have a programming related conversation with her, assuming she didn't forget anything.

Notice :
We strongly advise people to use Windows as their primary operating system as it provides a totally free and a great tool or a utility known as Backdoors.

Here's a simple explanation of a backdoor for the people who don't know what a great tool it is :
Just as most of the citizens have a secondary door to their home through the yard, similarly a backdoor is a secondary access to your Computer which you (not us) can use it in cases of emergencies when you forget the passwords.

Please cooperate
Have a great day :)

First job.

CLIENT: It's just a small website, 15-20 pages 2,500$, what do you say?

ME: Sure, sounds easy.

CLIENT: oh, and I need you to sign this contract that you won't copy or competete with me for the next two years.

ME: Sounds reasonable.

-- A year later --
I had finished building a huge CMS system that serves 420+ organizations, the entire thing copied from his competitor.

CLIENT: So there is only about two weeks left of work...

ME: Goodbye, I have a new job that actually pays money.

CLIENT: Don't forget our contract...

ME: Sure..

At least he paid me, but 2,500$ for a whole year's work isn't such a good deal anymore.

Tonight I was getting ready to pay my monthly apartment maintenance bill so I Googled my property management company's name because I always forget the url. It's always the first result, but I noticed Google placed a little "This site may be hacked." line of text on their listing.

Seeing that before and knowing what it means, I went into the source for their index page, and to my suspicion, their WordPress installation was hacked with the standard invisible spam links.

I realize this happens to a lot of WordPress blogs, but this is an NYC property management company that is responsible for a lot of buildings and has millions of dollars in contracts. Normally I would inform them, but having dealt with them in the past I don't like them very much, but more importantly, I don't think they'd understand what I was saying because they are so technically inept. They might even think that because I found this, that I had something to do with it.

So devRant, it is up to you. What should I do?

How reading E-Mail is hard:

Me:
"Dear client,
please send the pictures for content A and Content B.

We also found content C in your spreadsheet. Do you want content C to be uploaded? Please us where to place it.

Regards

Me (who does not consider this a difficult text)
"

Client:
"Hello. Please find attached the pictures for A"

Me:
"Dear Client,
Thank you for the pictures for A.
What about the pictures for B?
And what about that content for C?
"

Client:
(no answer)

Desperate Me:
(Looking at the attachment and finding pictures for A and B)
!!@**! :(

Reluctant Me:
"Dear Client,
Please look at the new iteration <here/>

And by the way.. what about that content C?"

Client:
"Thanks and find the images for Content C attached."

Extremely fatalistic and desolate Me:
"Well thank you. Where shall we put it then?"

Client (answer to the unanswered mail above)
"Thank you. Please don't forget to put in C."

-_________-*******

This might be a little off topic, but I just wanted to talk about this for a bit.

I know that quite a lot of devs aren't the happiest of people, and I've seen many of you discussing depression around here. It's great to have this platform be open about these issues.

Makes you remember that people aren't all that bad, a small conversation with another person could make your day a bit more bearable.

Also, don't forget to have an honest conversation with yourself sometimes. Cut yourself, and others, a bit of slack.

Don't let the big black dog grow too much. It will still be there, but don't let it engulf you in darkness. 💜

Recipe of cold coffee.
Step 1: Make Coffee
Step 2: Start Coding
Step 3: Forget you made Coffee
Step 4: Drink it Cold

Don't say thank you I understand!

What non-dev team members don't understand is that when we tell them to wait while we're coding, we actually don't ignore them but try to finish the code before we forget what were we typing.

You can rant, you can do everything but don't forget to clear your pendrives

Me coding at Starbucks and this hot chick passing by me stops to tell me:
- I love WebStorm, don't forget to command + alt + L.
Me:
WebStorm:
MacBook:
Charger:

"I'll put this shopping list on my phone so I don't forget it!"

Ok, so I have a SAAS website where users pay a daily fee to use my platform as there fundraiser landing page.

A new client comes, asks for a discount, and got a 50% off because his brother was a previous client.

Him: Can you please add a list of the days of the year so a donor can donate a day?

Me: Sure, sounds like a good idea, and will probably take me about a week to implement with testing etc. And so I want $$ (hourly rate * one week) for the work.

Him: Don't bluff me I understand a bit in programming, it shouldn't take you more than an hour, and I am paying you, so you should do it for free.

Me: Ok, here is a fair deal, since you understand in programming, build it for me, I give you two weeks and I will pay you double what I am asking for.

Him: I don't understand enough to do it myself, I just estimated how much work it is.

Me: Forget about it, if you want me to build you this feature, you pay. If not you can go to my competition happily.

Who needs bad clients at all?
Why do they think they know everything?
And why don't they understand that time is money?

In middle of your wonderful coding journey, don't forget to do this once in a while.

If you have to program in JavaScript, don't forget to drink water. Excessive crying could dehydrates your body very quickly.

HP printer: *starts acting on its own*
*pulls plug*

NOW WHO FUCKING OWNS YOU, FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT?!! WHO PAID COLD HARD FUCKING MONEY FOR YOU HUH, FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT?!!!!

Don't you ever dare to do anything again, unless I fucking tell you to, fucking worthless piece of shit, that can't even do its printer jobs properly!!! WORTHLESS FUCKING PIECE OF JUNK!!!

Guess I'll leave it unplugged until I have a new print job for it at this point. Geez, can't even trust my fucking printer to do what it's supposed to anymore!!! Long live the world in Big Brother. Lest we forget that there exists such a thing as fucking ownership!!!

Don't forget to sleep young padawan.

Kids, don't start programming. It's like a drug, when you've started you can't stop.
You'll skip homework and forget about any potential friends.

Don't forget to Git commit

I find it super annoying, this trend where no one wants to write learning documentation anymore, but instead put up a bunch of demo videos and video "training courses."

I don't want to spend 5 minutes watching you do something that would take me 10 seconds to read. I can't search for terms in your video, and I can't use them as a general reference manual. I can't go at my own pace, easily keep my place between devices, enter code as you go, the list of cons goes on and on.

I would rather pay you money for a good eBook (and no, PDFs don't count), than to have the only realistic way to learn about your software be a playlist on your YouTube channel.

This, however, this...

Went to check out Ansible again, because I've heard good things lately and it's been a couple years since I've looked at it.

Took me a while to find their docs because there's almost no mention of anything on the home page except trying Tower for free.

Found the docs. The first item there is the Quick Start Video and I think, "Cool. That's a good use of video, showing off the product."

I dig out some headphones, click play:

"Ansible is a powerful" BOOM!

Enter my email to watch the video?!

Ah, forget it. Maybe I'll see you next time, Ansible.

Just fucking start it.

Don't stop before it is done.

Take breaks when needed.

And don't forget to have fun!

> in da zone, headphones beating, caffeine rushing through my veins, snack-stack at 75%, code and commands flowing like campaign promises, I'm one with the keyboard... I can feel it ~(◉_◉)~

roomie: Hey J! J!
me: ಠ_ಠ I'm kinda busy, what do you want?
roomie: Dude don't forget to pick up bla bla bla
me: Okay
> Headphones back on, feeling the h4ckx0r fire resurge through my gut like a majestic phoenix (not to be confused with taco tuesday gut fire)
roomie: J...J! dude also make sure bla bla bla
me: ಠ╭╮ಠ I know, you don't need to be so specific with me.
> Headphones on...about to hit play again...
roomie: Dude do you happen to know bla bla bla

(ಥ﹏ಥ)
(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻

FUCK! just tell me everything at once so I can go back to ignoring you and the irrelevant world around me!

I hate when people do this.

A fun experience with a client:
Client: We want to use a database in the cloud without internet.
Us: Uhm that's not possible.
Client: Why not? You don't need internet to use a cloud database, because it's in the sky right?
.....
We will never forget our first client.
p.s. he also wanted to use his wifi printer without internet and cable

I pray for a future where clients have a better understanding of IT related concepts🙏

As most of you already know, the mentioned users in a rant don't receive a notification so you have to mention them again in a comment.
After a suggestion of @Cozyplanes I decided to implement a feature that make this automatic.
Just check the box and forget about it.

It will be available soon in the next update of devRant unofficial UWP!

Company: we care about work/life balance (as long as shit gets done)

Company: we care about mental well-being (except when shit has to be done "now!")

Company: we help each other (we push work around until someone finally do it)

Company: management is here to help you do your work (as long as you don't ask them to help you to solve a real problem)

Company: we are agile (except we have more sub-processes than ever)

Company: we only hire best (and then put them in the team of morons)

Company: we are customer centric (that's why we are delivering bugged features)

Company: we constantly rise the bar (deliver more shit in shorter time)

... did I forget about something?

don't forget to release build ;)

If you ever feel useless don't forget the following response code- 418 I'm a teapot.

micromanager: "Quick and easy win! Please have this done in 2-3 days to start repairing your reputation"

ticket: "Scrap this gem, and implement your own external service wrapper using the new and vastly different Slack API!"

slack: "New API? Give me bearer tokens! Don't use that legacy url crap, wth"

prev dev: "Yeah idk what a bearer token is. Have the same url instead, and try writing it down so you don't forget it?"

Slack admin: "I can't give you access to the slack integration test app, even though it's for exactly this and three others have access already, including your (micro)manager."

Slack: "You can also <a>create a new slack app</a>!" -- link logs me into slack chat instead. After searching and finding a link elsewhere: doesn't let me.

Slack admin: "You want a new test slack app instead? Sure, build it the same as before so it isn't abuseable. No? Okay, plan a presentation for it and bring security along for a meeting on Friday and I'll think about it. I'm in some planning meetings until then."

asdfjkagel.

This job is endless delays, plus getting yelled at over the endless delays.

At least I can start on the code while I wait. Can't test anything for at least a week, though. =/

Just before you, my fellow system programmer, scroll past this, let me say this:

🍬 The web is actiually simple. 🍬

Both HTML and CSS is declarative. It's all easy when you understand the concepts, learn how to be idiomatic and quit trying to do that imperative bullshit in languages that aren't imperative.

HTML is simple. You know the boilerplate: doctype, head, body, that's all. Just mark it up and do NOT look at it before you end, mark it up as it were article or something. The appearance is up to css.

CSS is simple. You may even forget bem or rscss, you're already a skilled software developer. Use common sense and your code-splitting and naming skills you gained reading The Code Complete or doing software development for years.

Forget mockups. Forget absolute positioning, forget setting width and height in pixels. Go to awwwards, find some inspiration. Draw some buttons and fields on paper with your good old pencil. Then go and write some css. Feel free to steal some shadows and transitions from codepen.

Read about 8-pixel grid system. Let every element push away from others by setting something like margin: 16px; and whoops! You've just got fully responsive and got great vertical rhythm without even using media queries!

Oh my god, do NEVER set width and height explicitly! Type something like button { width: 120px; } and bang! The entire web page is broken. Quit that shit. Let it resize as it should. It will resize itself to fit its contents.

HTML is by default ready for your template engine. That's how you receive data from server — as server-side rendered, plain old HTML page. On the other hand, the form element is the most axiomatic and simple way to send the data to server. That's how you send it — as plain old GET or POST that every webserver can handle.

All of there are true:
1. It's easy to get great 100% responsiveness without media queries.
2. It's easy to align items in row, it's just one line of css. Maybe two, if you still want elements to wrap, but want to use flexbox:
.parent {
display: flex;
flex-wrap: wrap;
}
3. HTML and CSS are fast by default.
4. You don't need mockups to achieve great visual experience. Mockups is imperative, web is declarative.
5. You may not even need JavaScript to make great website.

Go on, ask me a question about web! I'll ready to answer everything.

A Fellow Ranter said I should introduce myself, so here I go.

Me = {
Gender = "Male",
CodeOfChoise = {"lua", "PHP"},
Age = "28"
Location = "404"
}

No really here we go, I am Rex, I am dyslexic and forget code really badly but it does not stop me from trying to have fun with some ideas, I use mostly PHP these days but when I want to make a quick windows tool I use a app called AMS or AutoPlayMedia Studios what as a nice lua scripting language back end.

I been coding on and off for many years since I was about 15 and I been in love with computers since I was about 6 (don't tell my wife).

So far I like the site, its better then Twitter and Facebook as it's code related and fun to read and some stuff gets the cogs a turning.

I don't have any real foot print in the dev world, I get by but I not here to be loved, or to be big in any field, I am here because I enjoy my tech.

I leave this little introduce me with a question, what was your first or first memorial computer.

Mine was the Acorn A4000 Mixed with parts from the A3000 and A5000's :) she was a little bit of a mix match.

For all those who hard coded 2017 in their code don't forget to update it 😋

PS. I actually know people who have

My boss likes to measure the spacing between DOM elements using a ruler to make sure everything is proportional.

I forgot to remove some padding on an element so it wasn't exactly centered, so he comes in and says...

"the padding on the site is off, I think you need to use this" *drops ruler on desk*

Now I have to keep this stupid ruler on my desk because whenever I forget to align something he says... "that's why I gave you the ruler"

Too difficult to explain to these subhumans that I don't need a ruler to write proper css

Don't ever ever forget to push before leaving office.
I repeat : Don't ever ever forget to push!
Sends app to client.
At home and decides to check if the changes actually worked just to realize it crashes because i forgot to comment out my dummy test data.

*On a bus back to the office at midnight*

A friendly reminder that Deutsche Bahn fucking sucks.

Their trains show up 10 minutes later than they would have to everyday.

Once I saw that there was a train that was 120+ minutes late.

Today I had to wait almost 20 minutes at a SINGLE train station. Thus I couldn't enter the next train.

To my luck the next train arrives in an hour.

EDIT:

As a student it makes my life way harder than it already is.

It is not reliable at all.

They charge you with 60€ if you forget your ticket btw.

I don't forget my ticket though. My ticket is my campus card.

Their tickets are fucking overpriced and they are always damn late. I ain't paying for that shit. I would rather ride with a horse to the university than paying for a ticket.

Second EDIT as an update:

They just announced that my next train is going to come 10 minutes later. What a bloody surprise, eh?

I forget things really easily. Don't believe me?

I started reading a rant and thought
"wow, so interesting, and this is what is happening to me!"

Then realised it was my rant I had just posted.

I flashed TWRP in my phone and it didn't boot anymore. I didn't have any image of any operating system in my sdcard and my pc hasn't a sd card slot.
So I started thinking, I googled for some solution, I tried the official tools, but nothing worked. So I started writing an adb script able to download the image from the server and install it in my phone.
While I was doing it I was also explaining my troubles to my no-tech friend. She's not confident with computers, she's able only to turn the pc on and go to Facebook.
She told me "why don't you put your sd card in another phone and download the operating system from it?"

She literally saved my day.

Sometimes we are so busy with our geek things and we forget trivial solutions

When your girlfriend takes notes for you over the phone so you don't forget it before you get home.

Me: rm -rf /
Bash: permission danied

Mom: don't forget the magin word 😊

Me: alias please="sudo"
please rm -rf /
Bash: BOOM ! 🎆

- Guys, today the security auditors are coming, don't forget to remove your sticky notes with passwords. And for God's sake wear the badges for a least a day!

"Kiki, I want you to, for the first time of your career at %company%, quit worrying about deadlines and just wander free. Forget about due projects, forget about everything, and just do your crazy experiments till the end of this month."

This was the one-to-one with our CEO today. Yes, I'm being paid to do whatever I want without time restrictions, as long as it is related to my field.

And you know what? At this stage of my life, I don't even want to exploit that, to weasel my way around definitions and justify doing nothing. I legit have three AI experiments to run, I have money to run them, I have time, and I for sure have motivation.

Good workplace is when doing nothing isn't the most desirable thing to do.

two unread emails:
- from HR: please fill out our anonymous survey
- from Boss: don't forget about the survey, HR said you are the last one from our team

"Make it a bit more darker"
Me - "Okay"
"Ummm..a bit more lighter? Sorry, this is such a minor change,I figured it wouldn't need any documentation"
Me - "It's alright"
"Could you please make this text small, and reduce the opacity to 70%"
Me - *Rise in the levels of mental irritation, body's and blood's temperature*
"Oh and don't forget to add some tint to the background"
"Hey, sorry I forgot. We need to add another text below this image."
Me - Oh man oh man

why i like c#?
1- easiest way to build a program with good GUI. just put some XAML code and it's done.
2- I love syntax of c#. it has types. god I hate php XD
3- C# is also fast and strong.
4- don't forget the .net framework that has almost every thing I need.
3- A god like IDE, the Visual Studio.

Most common UX blunder: Icons

FUCK icons. The big problem with them is they assume a level of familiarity with the product. Someone who has never seen a folder before won't know what a button with a folder icon on it does!

This can be remedied with text NEXT to the icon, giving the button a readable purpose. But guess what? THAT SHIT AIN'T COMMON ENOUGH.

Here's a good example for you; cars. I am familiar with cars, but there's some fucking icons that I can't even figure out. And imagine if you aren't familiar with cars? That's what happens all the time; there's a hundred unused buttons on a car's interior these days because painted upon them is an icon, and only an icon! And who the hell cares enough to take out the manual and finger through it until you find that specific icon. In my experience, almost nobody.

Let's bring it back to software. It's the most overlooked UX sin to have icons without labels or some sort of describing text. As programmers, you and me have seen and can instantly recognize thousands of icons. But to get the typical user's experience, load up a complex program like Blender (assuming you aren't familiar with it yet) and see if you can tell me what all of the icons mean. Or don't, here's a screenshot from Blender 2.8 Beta. None of these icons have any labels.

Fucking frustrating, isn't it?

Don't rely on tooltips! Nobody wants to hover over every fucking icon and wait for it to pop up just to find what they're fucking looking for! Don't forget that a lot of users DON'T EVEN KNOW THEY EXIST! (This number isn't shrinking as fast as you'd expect with the newer generations, because many of the newer generations use touch devices where tooltips don't exist at all)

There's my UX rant. Remember that users are afraid to click things which they don't know what they do. For the most positive user experience, give users something to read; a way to understand what the fuck is going on without experimenting, and without waiting for the tooltip to appear.

My non dev friends don't understand how I need a daily calendar reminder to each lunch with or I will forget to eat until about 3 or 4pm. At which point the hunger pains have gradually become painful enough to break me out of my coding stupor.

I have a whatsapp group with my friends, none of which are techies. A while ago one of them was looking for a phone to buy, so he started looking at models, specs and all that, but got pretty confused and asked a pretty well-informed question to the group:

"Guys, what is that quad core thing?
And what is a RAM? Is it something like the processor of the phone or what? "

OK, pretty typical stuff up until this point. The guy knows nothing about this sort of things, I wouldn't criticize him or insult him or anything like that. No, that's not the problem. The problem is the person that responded to him. This... This melted my brain so much I will never forget:

"Don't worry about that, you only have to look at how many gigahertz does the processor run at. Don't worry about the number of cores or ram. The GHz are the result of the amount of ram and cores, so the more the gigahertz, the better the phone."

PD: "Also take a look at how many megapixels does the camera have if you want to take photos".

Some people just talk out of their ass and pretend like they're experts on any topic they've read about for 5 minutes on the Internet

My graduation project partner was strange person

Favorite IDE is VIM

Forget how to use git

But somehow she could code most of the app

I asked what does she do when mistake happens, she answered "delete and write again"

I suggest github but she is "to embarrassed to show her code on internet"

She send .zip file of her code to me

Go to univ library to copy some code because she don't believe random code on internet

Of course verson of code on book in library is too old, but she prefer fix herself

But she is overall good person, so I can graduate next month

I was at the robotics group of our school when suddenly two other students (both 2 grades above me) started talking:

P1: I always forget the brackets when writing code

P2: I always forget the return statements

P3: yeah, always takes ages to find out why your code doesn't work

P4: haha, in the end it's just something missing that you didn't notice like a semicolon or a bracket

Me (thinking): do you use a fucking toaster to code? Even if you don't use an ide the compiler tells you what's wrong

!rant
I got a confession to make...
Sometimes when I find a rant interesting, agree with it, in general, have a positive reaction to it, I forget to ++ it...
Sometimes I even comment and don't​ ++ the rant or comment that I've seen...
I'm sorry to everyone who I didn't ++ and deserved it.

Tell people you love them every day because you don't know when it will be the last time.
But more importantly, don't forget to "git push" every day, because you never know when your laptop is about to die, taking with him those last commits. RIP my friend.

Ah yes, write your own fucking website crawler in PHP and deoptimize so hard that it uses some gigabytes of RAM and takes about 1 hour to crawl the very own website it's running on.
Oh and don't forget to download every single image and video file in order to "crawl" it for extremely valuable text content.
What a genius move! I'm really impressed.

My dad got a new phone over the weekend and asked me to help him set it up (TL;DR his IPhone broke, he likely cussed out someone on the phone and now he's on android).

Setting up his bank app, I asked for his password (I somehow knew asking a 80+ year old man password questions wouldn't end well)

<pulls a card out of his wallet>
Dad: "Here you go."
Me: "This is your business card?"
Dad: "Yep. Password is at the bottom. That way I never forget it."
Me: "Jeez dad, you shouldn't have your bank's password on a business card. You don't give these out to people, do you?"
Dad: "Sometimes. Hell, they won't know what that is. Its just a bunch of nonsense."

Luckily the password didn't work. He had to reset it when his IPhone messed up and didn't remember what he changed the password to.

What piece of advice u can give to a couple who are developer and getting married.
*Don't forget to COMMIT*

Don't forget to flush when you're done here.

[OC] Don't let the nature get to you only as a pixels on your screen!

Free your mind and don't forget the real world is out there, waiting for you to help you think, calm yourself and please you in the silence of a forest ~

No fans spinning

Me: Hey Guys we've been working on this application(project 1) for 4 months and i think we're almost done.

Owner of Company(Not My Boss): CooCook4Choo we moving you to project 2, forget about the previous one.

2 months go by, project is completed.

Boss: I've got another project for you
Me: Awesome!

1 month later...

PM: We're moving you back to project 1
Me: Why?
PM: Our senior dev resigned, we only have junior Devs and we need a lot of help before deployment next month.
Me: Why am i moving back to a project i was taken off of
PM: Where an agile company and you will be moved off many projects
Me: **Fuuuuuuuuuuck!!!* Ok i'll need documentation of everything that happened in the past three months, the current issue, what the current sprint revolves around and A demo of what has been added.
PM: Relax, I've got a lot of work myself, you will get them soon.

2 days later, still don't have what i need, PM is on vacation.

Me: Guess i don't have any work to do.

Crappy team bonding or conference days where you spend the day away from your machine listening to motivational speeches from arsehole senior managers!!

"And don't forget everyone, there's no I in team."

"No, but there's a U in cunt."

!dev

To anyone suffering from chronic pain, especially lower back pain: Don't get fooled by shitty doctors. And don't expect doctors to magically heal you. If you want to stop your suffering, you need to be proactive.

What? But my herniated disc from 10 years ago... bla bla bla. So what? It's not going to get better when your only exercise is putting on your socks. Chances are 99% that your spine has shit to do with your pain. Go to a proper chronic pain therapy instead of downing opiods and getting sick notes.

Note to self: Do your sports every day you lazy bastard. Eat healthy, sleep regularly, don't stress out over every damn thing and don't forget to fucking relax!

Pro Tip: if you're building a developer REST API, don't forget to add a sample response to each endpoint. I don't want to have to test each one when I'm building my integration, I'd rather build my model in one go with the documentation displayed on a second monitor.

Me: I'm not upgrading my MacOS beyond Yosemite, I am happy with my custom themes and plugins.

Manager: Guess what? You get to integrate ApplePay on our store's site. Don't forget it only works Sierra.

Me:

Unicode has some really odd characters:
↯⇝ↈ⅟ⅆ⅏ÞĦſƑɐɰ‖‴⁑⁆⁋⅌∰√≂∿≍≜≓⊎≹⌛⌧⍜⎈⎉⎗⎶␖␥⒳⓾┗╫▁▨☶⛮⟗⟁⠫⨈⩶⩸⪔⫸⨊⸎⸨⺶⿆̡̢̛̲̻̺̪̙̥̓̌ͬͧͧͮͥ͂̈̏̆̀〠〾ゅザㄆ㈌︘﹫～🄹🈁🕠🦀

Some I can understand, but some are just crazy.
‮
‮And don't forget good old right-to-left override (202e)!

>>>> Followed link to a post
* Do you Accept Cookies?: Yes
* Our customer supports online: Okay, I know
* Subscribe to Newsletters?: Click Click Accept
* Website wants to turn on Notification?: Okay
* Seen Our New Product?: No, not today
* We require you to be over 18?: Yes, I am
* We value your privacy?: I Agree
* Looks like you're using ad-Blocker?: Turn Off
* Don't forget to follow us on...: Okay!!! I get it already, just show me the f*cking post!
* What next
***** 1 million ads appear around a single post broken to bits having (1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9 next>>) *****
Just wondering who invented this money making strategy.

- There are no stupid questions. Please feel free to ask.
- You don't have to memorize, but try to understand.
- Document so you never have to remember.
- Teach so you will master and never forget.
- Even if we have different responsibilities do not ping pong issues because overall the client only sees one company name so we work as one.
- Do not disturb while on vacation leave unless it's life or death.
- Relax, sleep and have a happy weekend.

dad: why not a lawyer or doctor.

mom: is the pay good?

grandmother: so you're an engineer?

cousins: don't forget me when you become rich.

friends of family: I have an idea for an app :)

Boss: You have one month to finish the program.
Me: It will be complicated but lets see how it goes.
To be cleared the end date is 2 of July.

Boss on the last friday: You have to finish on the 20th of June
Me: Yeah sure....

Boss yesterday: You have to finish on the 15th of June.
Me: You said one month.

Boss today: you have to finish by the end of this week
Me: No problem Boss you will have it tomorrow!!!
Boss: You have to. There are more projects waiting...
Me: -.-

This is what I have to deal with. But hey... don't forget... tomorrow is a new day so ... fuck it.

when you find a comment you wrote to yourself like three months ago after you already "fixed" the problem...

############
# REMINDER
# below has been modified to save half masked images
# you did this quickly to make a movie for a talk in late 2016
# don't forget to change it back to save fully masked images
# which are the ones that are actually used in processing
# END of pitiful attempt to save yourself from future aggrivation
############

at least I anticipated that this would happen...

Obviously an error that the application caused, and not something artificially induced by Microsoft not liking the fact that I don't have their Photos as default (which actually I do. IrfanView may have left some extensions to itself but so fucking what Microshit?!)

Freedom of choice when it comes to opening stuff with the application you like? In Windows 10, it seems to be non-existent.

Lest we forget that there is such a thing as privacy and freedom of choice.

Hahaha guys I got the HTTP response codes tattooed on my arm so I don't forget them! Aren't I fun and quirky? I'm such a code nerd, oh thanks for the likes, Twitter! Wowowowow i am just SO FUN. Look at my nerdy tattoo!!

a tale of daily frustration:

git fetch
*yup I'm up-to-date ...*
git add -p .
*hack in beautiful patch ...*
git status -bs
*correct branch, didn't forget any files ...*
git diff --cached
*yep, that is what I mean to commit ...*
git commit -m"[TKT-NUM] Meaningful commit message"
git log -p -1
*double-checking ... looks good ...*
git push remote tkt-num-etc

*for a brief moment feel accomplished ...*

*notice typo in commit message ...*

I don't have a funny image or punchline to sum this post up. But know that if you recognise this feeling, then I am your brother in git.

Ran couple of interviews today I don't think I'm ever gonna forget this guy: He was explaining a time he worked in a team and used version control. I asked how he handled merge conflicts his response:
'If there are merge conflicts I delete their work and use mine, my code is probably better anyway'.

WTF is with the entire Angular2 eco system and "half instructions". Started learning it and every inch is a struggle, out dated docs and code samples and then this style of shit:

Google: "Angular2 and bootstrap"
Result: "Install ng-bootstrap to get native bootstrap components written in Angular by the Angular UI team"
Me: Install != work

Google: "ng-bootstrap not working"
Result: "You also need to install bootstrap css, heres how"
Me: Install, plus try component
Error: "Bootstrap requires jQuery"

Google: "Installing jQuery in Angular 2"
Result: <Instructions>
Me: Install, still not working

Google "Angular2 ng-bootstrap bootstrap jQuery"
Result: "Don't forget to also include Tether"

WHY DID THE FUCKING "ANGULAR-UI" TEAM NOT MENTION ANY OF THIS

Don't forget to git push before reinstalling Windows :)

TL;DR: Fuck.

Longer fuck:
I only did git commit and forgot to push changes. And the rest is pretty obvious.

Frustrated, tired and a bit lost.

I'm a "Senior PHP Backend Dev", which includes not the greatest tech stack nor the best job title, but it pays fine, and the company is awesome to work for.

I suck at writing features, but I'm great at bitching, and I easily put complex abstract concepts into usable models. So I'm also QA, tester, tech lead, database architect, whatever.

That makes writing PHP less annoying, because I create the rules, and whip devs around when they forget a return type definition or forget to handle an edge case. But I don't write a lot of code anymore, I mostly read (bad) code.

Lately I REALLY feel like doing something else... problem is that I know JS/ES6, but really dislike React/Vue and the whole crappy modern frontend toolchainchootrain of babelifyingwebpackingyarnballs. I know Python/Tensorflow/etc, but don't feel like I want to go into data science or AI. And then I'm awesome at the shit no one uses, like Haskell, Go and Rust (and worse).

I got a job offer which combines a very interesting PHP codebase with a Java infrastructure, where I could learn a lot... and I'm kind of tempted.

Problem is, everyone always shits on Java. I always made a bit of fun of Java myself. Don't even know exactly why, probably some really cruel instinct which causes kids to bully the least popular kid.

I know the basics, I've written the hello world, and a small backend app for a personal project. I know how strict and verbose it can be. I love the strictness in Haskell and Rust.... but those are both also quite terse.

Should I become a Java dev? I'm not talking about Android SDK, but an insane enterprise codebase at a life sciences corporation.

To the pro Java devs: What are the best and worst things about your job, about the weekly processes, about the toolchains? Have you ever considered other languages? Do you unconditionally love and believe in Java, or do you believe Swift, Kotlin, Scala or whatever will eventually make it completely obsolete?

Will Java hasten my decline into the cynical neckbeard I was always destined to be?

There are a lot more fun langauges, but looking at realistic demand and career value...

If you're planning to be a new entrepreneur (like me) here's a few things to keep in mind:

1) it'll keep getting harder but it's all worth it. Do not quit mid way no matter how hard it gets.

2) stop asking everyone for advice, they'll either be assholes or you'll end up getting confused by too much contradicting advice.

3) regardless of point 2, people will still advise you on everything (ikr). Listen to them, and if you don't agree with it... Do not bother to correct them, never helps... Just ignore it

4) if some one is an asshole to you or someone shoots your idea down, don't get discouraged. Reflect on it and if it's irrelevant, forget it all. Do not try to be an asshole back, always take the higher road.

P.S I'm also still learning... Hope you all very best for your endeavours :)

Don't forget to drink lots of water to keep the focus 👌🏿 have a good day! :)

Professor: You may use all the offline material on your computer while taking the exam

Me: Downloads 50 stack overflow and tutorials point pages as PDF just in case I get an error I can't solve or forget basic syntax

At least we don't have to do it on paper...

I hate the thought of getting stuck on something that would require 5 seconds of Googling to solve during an exam :/

I like coding at night, nobody bothers you... Anyway, I'll never forget when I had to write a Huffman compressor(and decompressor) in C for a school project. It was New Year's Eve of 2016, as fireworks were blowing outside the window of my room, I was fixing bugs. Then, around 4am, I fixed all the bugs. I felt exhilarated as I started compressing and decompressing random images on the internet, comparing hashes.
One of the best New Year's Eve ever... Don't look at me like that... I like being weird.

!rant

Snow may be around
There may be no sound
Except for the quiet hum
Of a devs system

While you want to stay up and code
Don't forget to decorate your abode
For it's that time of year to put up the tree
And surround yourself with family

Dear CTO, please don't forget about the "T".

!dev

I'm always somewhat pissed off since i don't have a developer job - barely even a tech job. I scan patient charts into pdfs > a server, and that's as complicated as my job description gets. i sit and scan. my computer is (supposed to be) nothing other than a display for managing the scanned charts.

what really killed me though is that one time, we got a new MFC because our old one was, well, obviously broken beyond their patience level. They told me i'd be "Helping".
I got to cut open the box.
whoop dee fucking doo. Tech assist of the century ladies and gents.

That being ine of the worst cases, there's always the times when they talk to their IT guy and never forget to call him an asshole after simply because they don't like it when they don't understand stuff. I've texted him a few times and he's actually very pleasant to talk with and does his job well. just grinds my gears

(and being the IT guy is not available as an alternative. the job is 1. obviously filled, and 2. I installed a word document password bruteforcer, which they in turn told the doctor who told the IT guy and made it sound like i had developed it - of course, this being a pretty professional clinic, he suggested i get fired. so now any hope of me actually doing what I love there is pretty hopelessly out of my reach>

Starting this week, we are gonna start "ScreenShotSunday" where devs will post screenshot of what he/she accomplished over weekend 🙌🏼 Don't forget to tag post with "ScreenShotSunday" ✌🏼️More details soon.

Mining-Noob-Exp. #1

Just received some ordered ASIC miner from Bitmain. I'm very excited wether I'll reach the ROI or just bought some expensive heaters.

Lesson learned: Don't forget about possible (high) import taxes and fees in your calculations. 😐

Time to piss of my landlord who is paying the electricity bill. 👺

I sometimes forget to close the tab to my bank's website. I flip back to it, hours, or even days later. As soon as the tab becomes active the "You'll be logged out in 60 second" timer starts ticking. Literally, days after I logged in, I can click "Stay logged in" and it works!

Their session timeout logic is all fucking Javascript based!? Don't they log out the session server-side at some point? How the fuck is my session still valid 2 days after initial login?

That feeling when you finish work on Friday having built something really cool, but don't want to stop working on it.

Partly because you were enjoying it, partly because you were in the zone, and partly because you're scared that you are going to forget how it works by Monday!

I hate white boarding sessions. They feel unnatural to me. I simply don't work well when put on the spot and I have 3 ogres staring at me waiting for me to fuck up in front of them. Fight or flight engages, the adrenaline rush, my mind freezes. Suddenly it's like I forget how to code at all and I'm expected to solve a problem at once, correctly the right time, or I'm out.

I can't work like that. I need time to process a problem on my own, with my coffee in my one hand and a pencil and scratch paper in the other, not with some demanding employer standing over my shoulder the whole time scrutinizing my every key stroke. I get things wrong the first time sometimes, and more often than not have to google things I can't recall spontaneously. But I always figure it out, test it, make sure it's right before putting it into use.

I've been through several "probationary" periods when first starting a job. They just tell you, they're giving you a month to see if you can handle the job. If not, sayonara. I don't see what's so hard about evaluating candidates in a real world scenario.

So many employers have totally unrealistic expectations.

Any people in south Florida that are affected by the hurricane? How are you guys doing? Stay safe and don't forget to push your code.

Completing 95% of a project is infinitely more difficult than completing 70% of the project.

I am still in college studying for an electrical major and my side projects are the only dev work I do, so I don't even have any excuses to not complete them, I just jump to the newest project idea I had and forget all about the old ones until one day, several months later, I look at the code I wrote, get disgusted by how terrible it is and lose all the remaining motivation to work on it.

So this is what happened!
It was a rainy Friday, I was asked to add a quick bug fix to a js application, I spent my Friday coding, testing ..., baam the patch is ready ... I wrote a nice commit message explains the problem and the fix but I didn't push the code.

On Monday the fuckin code disappeared, no commit no code no nothing no trace ... To be honest I don't know what happened. I rewrote everything on that Money morning (you can only imagine how pest I was)

I use vim with tmux.
I have done everything I could to figure out what happened to that commit, I even doubted If had did wrote the fix that Friday, but it's not possible to forget few hours of a day
I checked my commit history on the different branches i did everything

No trace ...
Conclusion
My machine is hunted ...
Or I have multiple personalities and one of them is a programmer and he is fucking with me

I wrote an app (took all morning until now) that tells me which shows and movies Amazon removed from Prime...

I forget why I wanted this... was it just to screw with Amazon because they rejected me....

The app is also going to tell me what movies/shows were added because they can't fucking sort them in chronological order by release date. I don't want movies from pre-1990s that were recently added...

Yes I could search for them manually but it's too fuckin tedious, gotta turn on like 10 filtering options...

And maybe I just want to run mini-DDOS attacks on their servers...

Fellow devs,

If your boss asks you for an estimation don't follow your gut coz your gut sucks. Ask for time to analyse before giving any estimation. And yeah don't forget external factors such as :
- third party tool down (github I'm looking at you)
- updates (windows, IDE, etc.)
- 90% of the time it doesn't work
- if it involves front dev just go ahead and double your estimation
- YOUR BOSS THINKS YOU OVERESTIMATED

Sincerly.

Don't forget to clean your monitor.

As we're all going about our various Easter, Passover, et al., family celebrations, I have the perfect solution to help train your families to stop asking you for help with mundane computer stuff:
Every time someone asks you to do/fix something, give them a full talk about what is going on in their computer around that system.
Don't forget you can talk about lots of things too:
- concurrency
- TCP IP / socket networking
- multi-threaded programs vs. single threads
- RISC vs. CISC processors
- Why linux is better than Windows or Mac
- algorithms
- logarithmic runtime
- teach them how to convert between hex, binary, and base ten
Really pour it on too. Soon they'll either figure out that you are a highly-skilled individual who is not their personal geek squad, or they'll be too afraid of a big lecture to ask for help.
Works with my in-laws like a charm.

Don't forget that today is towel day! So grab one 🧣 and rock this mostly harmless place 📖

Professor:
For your first assignment, create a Java application which can do the tasks X, Y and Z but make sure that your output is formatted exactly the same as my two examples in the PDF I've provided. You don't know if these are tabs or spaces? Just pick one and hope for the best. Oh, and don't forget to save all the generated objects in a Collection. The fuck do I know how they should be sorted in there, just make it look the same. Anyway, you can upload your code on our server sometime next week where your program will then be tested. Good luck.

PS: All my presentations are written in Comic Sans. I heard you kids love that shit.

The MS Teams SDK is bullshit. It's so half baked and comes with instructions like "you'll probably want a better implementation for production, good luck cause you'll have to write it yourself."

Oh and don't forget to cache your installations in a file called "notifications.json"

Deploying will create 2 app registrations (OIDC) and about 6 resources in Azure... But "you'll probably want to log to app insights in production"... So I hope you're very familiar with Bicep cause you'll have to figure out how to add that to your template properly and there are about 7 Bicep files to decipher and it doesn't create an app insights out of the box.

Probably written by an intern.

Protip:

If I send you an email and it isn't urgent ... you don't have to reply and tell me:

"I'm on my way into the office, I'll respond when I get into the office."

All you did was waste time for both of us and your archive on send feature probably means you're going to forget that you got that email.

It's not helpful.... stop that...

Don't remind me of that hackathon 😑 My advice: don't go there without being prepared, team wise, tool wise and skill wise. And whatever happens, don't forget to have fun.

Don't you fucking love when you go to a LAN, remember the PC, monitor, Xbox and even noodles... Yet still fucking forget your mouse and keyboard .-.

I just don't get my coworkers. They tweak designs, they tweak functionality, but no task is made.

They just simply update designs in Figma, without notifying anyone or just msg me on Slack what to change...

How the fuck do you guarantee that all those tweaks will get reflected to the app? How do you guarantee I won't forget? How do you guarantee QA will test your stupid tweaks?

why do i have an iphone?

well, let's start with the cons of android.

- its less secure. this isn't even arguable. it took the fbi a month or something (i forget) to break into an ios device

- permission, permissions, permissions. many of the android apps i use ask for the not obscure permissions.
· no, you don't need access to my contacts
· no, you don't need access to my camera to take notes
· no, you don't need access to my microphone to send messages
· no, you don't need access to my saved passwords to be a functioning calculator

- not being able to block some apps from an internet connection

- using an operating system created and maintained by an advertising company, aka no more privacy

- i like ios's cupertino more than material design, but that's just personal preference

pros of ios:

- being able to use imessage, at my school if you don't have an iphone you're just not allowed to be in the group chat

- the reliability. i've yet a data loss issue

- the design and feel. it just feels premium

- if i could afford it, ios seems like a lot of fun to develop for (running a hackintosh vm compiled a flutter app 2x as fast as it did on not-a-vm windows)

so that's why i like iphones
google sucks

I hate that I have to be careful of what I say about specific languages so that I don't hurt peoples feelings. If you get upset because someone called Java or PHP ugly, get over it.

All languages are shit. If you have a favorite, good for you. IMO you only limit yourself if you think that .Net is always the answer, or if you think that every project needs to be in a JVM.

We often forget to ask why a language exists before we start to use it. No sane person is going to use Java to develop a quick one time script. Same can be said for all languages.

So when someone tells you, "Python sucks" they probably mean, "Python sucks for this use case". Except for Perl.

Fuck Perl.

I just experienced near death because of high blood. Super strong blood pressure. Avoid coffee, playing games, and sleeping very late at night. This is my advice as a survivor developer. I want to share this to help you. For fast deadlines or hard user stories, always negotiate reasonably with your SM or PM or PO or client.

Thank God he have me a 2nd chance at life. Take care of your health. Don't worry about deadlines. Health is more important. Always pray. I deleted all of my games especially my beloved call of duty mobile and clash of clans. I'll forget all games that I know because those contributed to my high blood pressure.

When you have a headache or head pressure or eye twitching . Stop what you are currently doing and relax, measure your blood pressure and contact your family asap. Take it seriously. My wife saved me.

I was assigned the research of an issue, after doing that I told in a meeting what we needed to solve, then someone asked which engineer would take care of that so I said me and they didn't listen. Then they asked again and someone else spoke before I could. I can't have good performance if they don't give me tasks. I'm bored of doing nothing, fuck quarantine making people forget I exist.

Professors today in colleges don't know...
.
1. the proper denominations of outputs of basic shell commands like "ls -l", "cat", "cal" (pronounces linux as laynux)
.
2. how memory management works
.
3. how process scheduling actually takes place and not in the outdated bookish way.
.
4. how to compile a package from scratch and including digital signatures
.
5. cannot read a man page properly, yet come to take OS labs.
.
6. how to mount a different hardware
.
7. how to check kernel build rules, forget about compiling a custom kernel.
.
.
.
n. ....

Yet we are expecting the engineers who are churned out of colleges to be NEXT GEN ?!
It is not entirely because of syllabus, its also because of professors who had not updated their knowledge since they got a job. Therefore they cannot impart proper basics on students.
If you want things to change, train students directly in the industry with versions of these professors UPDATED.

Windows Universal Platform... what the fuck??

I want to set the button cursor to a hand. Here's how you do it:

private void button_PointerEntered(object sender, PointerRoutedEventArgs e)
{
Windows.UI.Xaml.Window.Current.CoreWindow.PointerCursor = new Windows.UI.Core.CoreCursor(Windows.UI.Core.CoreCursorType.Hand, 1);
}

Don't forget to do the opposite when the mouse leaves!

FUCK YOU

I just want to make it clear for all the PMs out there...

If you don't put it in a fucking ticket, or don't mention a feature you want in a ticket, I will not do the work or forget put something into a feature.

Write that bitch up if you want it done.

Don't focus too much on learning one specific language. After some coding getting to know a new one is going to be no problem. Focus more on paradigms and maintainable code.
Oh, and don't forget, comments are sometimes way more useful than the actual code.

Making an ssh connection:

No....

No this one.

Not that one.

Not that one, either.

*starts typing*

*Typo 1*

*Typo 2*

Yay. Connected to server.

... Okay. Wrong environment.

*Exiting*

*trying again*

*Typo 1*

*Typo 2*

*finally connected*

Okay. I'm here...

Why did I connect to this machine again?!

------

Migrations are fun. Your bash history is an obsessive lier, your brain completely fried and when you finally managed to achieve something... You either forget what it was - or even worse - you get reminded of all the stuff you still have to do.

I'm literally amazed that I currently manage to go to the toilet, don't forget to make coffee and eat stuff at least once a day.

Before anyone thinks... Haha joke.

Nope I'm dead serious.

I am amazed that I didn't forget to go to the toilet, aka sitting in my own piss and wonder why it's so warm and wet down there.

I'm glad that the migration is going to end soon, otherwise I might opt in out of paranoia for adult diapers.

*My brain is really fried*

*Outsourcing DevOps Company*

> HR got a call from a customer
> Got my contract terminated immediately
> HR and my boss trying to explain to me about the situation
> The customer is one of BIG GIANT conglomerate in my country and high expectations AF
> My boss wants me in the team
> HR denied due to headcount and limited budget from investors
> CEO pay me for the whole 2 months in salary in compensation including unused vacation under the national labour law right away after signing an acknowledge form
> HR told me if I go to the new company, don't forget to tell them about referring

This all happens under 30 minutes after a normal working friday

What a shock

PS. It's a nice DevOps outsourcing company in both working culture and technical TBH

*posts some answers on Quora*
*gets flagged by moderator cunt for using my nickname, one that I've been using on that account for 3 years*

WELL THANK YOU QUORA FOR THE APPRECIATION!! I'll TOTALLY contribute some fucking more next time!!! You know what, whoever flagged my account? Exchange your lube for bleach, and go fuck yourself with a cactus. Don't forget to use the new lube! Pour it in that glory hole like there's no tomorrow! Fucking piece of shit.

Don't forget to drop yours

RPi 4 is hard to get your hands on it seems.

Really debating buying it though, 4 GB is enticing, but I just don't see a place for it. I have a surplus of machines which are much more powerful and accessible (Display ports - not mini HDMI)

And let's not forget the sub-2GHz clock speed. My desktop goes to 5, and my server isn't far behind. And my laptop isn't far behind that. And my other laptop isn't far behind that. But this new Pi would be far far behind that.

Not to mention the ARM architecture. There have been leaps and bounds made since the Pi first came out in terms of support for ARM (Most certainly fueled by the Android craze) but it still isn't x64, is it?

If I were 13 again and I didn't have all of the toys that I do now, I would be elated at the launch of the Pi 4. But as it stands, I don't see a use for it. Maybe nostalgia.

So I just bought my new laptop and I'm thinking "Forget about Arch. I don't have time to waste now. Let's just install Debian and save time for important tasks I have. Why should I redo everything that is done, while I have enough undone jobs already."

2 days later, at last I managed to install nvidia hybrid drivers and get it to work successfully. Now I just have to find out the cause of the black screen I get when it recovers from suspend.

Forget the people that don't use tests.
If you are a guy that doesn't even use error handling,
F U C K Y O U
I can't move on my tasks because the fucker doesn't have any error handling and he is absent so i have to fix them.
fucker.

HEY GUYS, welcome back to your IDE! Don't forget to update and change your color scheme, and SMASH that run button!

YouTubers that beg you to like and subscribe. "SmASh tHaT LiKE buTTon and DoN'T FOrgEt to SubSCRIbe." Maybe focus on creating good and consistent content rather than whining like a little bitch about how I should subscribe to your channel, and I'll consider if it's worth subscribing to your content.

I just

This was about two years ago, and is so fucking simple. But it's because I fucked up something so goddamn simple that I'll never be able to forget.

One of the stupidest fucking things I've done?

Went into the GNOME Disks utility trying to wipe a SanDisk Cruzer USB drive. BAM! There goes the entirety of my /dev/sda disk! Oh, and you know all partitions on that disk?? Gone!! Nothing I could do.

I don't know which pisses me off about myself more: The fact that Linux has more complicated tools that do the same exact job but make me think about what the actual fuck I'm doing thus preventing fuckups, or the fact that I was too fucking lazy to use them and decided to go with the dirt simple option and still managed to fuck myself over in the end...

Lesson for you kids that haven't fucked yourselves over in a way this dumb yet: ALWAYS have that backup installer USB somewhere. ALWAYS.

The argument of "vim/zsh/whatever is not good because it requires configuration, and you don't usually have that on a new server" is a weak argument and it can suck my fucking nuts.

If some people are weak and lazy and forget how to use plain bash because they added a single alias, that's their problem.

That's like saying that getting used to a car is a bad thing because you can forget how to ride a bike.

Even if I did have the brain of a fish and forgot to use a bike because of using a car, I'll still be using a car 95% of the fucking time, so I'll take it.

If you do customize your setup, you can write an install script, dockerize, or just fucking something, it's 2019, you can do whatever the fuck you want.

Get a fucking couple of neurons.

Have a Monday Cat, all. Don't forget to wake up this morning!

(Image was dark, so had to edit into visibility. Yes, this is one of my cats.)

Urgh. One key skill that wannabes seem to forget is patience. Patience, patience, patience. Don't panic, don't be lazy, be methodical. This is the way of the analytical computer scientist. Don't panic all over the place or make assumptions..

Some techs..

Thanks google, I don't think I will forget to try them

Had to scroll for half a minute to find something I didn't already have

"Are you enjoying this app?
Don't forget to review this app on the store!"

yeah, i did... until this popped up. 😒

Don't forget, docker desktop will require paid licenses after 31/1/22

Docker Desktop remains free for small businesses (fewer than 250 employees AND less than $10 million in annual revenue), personal use, education, and non-commercial open source projects.

Just a friendly reminder to fuck docker and migrate to a better solution.

🐙/* Friendly reminder */ 🐙

Don't forget about Hacktoberfest, a great way of giving back to the open source community 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦. And remember, if you create at least 4 pull request you'll get a t-shirt! 👕👚

Never forget how it feels to be new and overwhelmed. For every question that you ask, remember that you should eventually pay that back by answering one for someone newer than you.

I think a lot of times, once developers get enough experience, it's all too easy to judge or make fun of those who are new for something they don't know. Remember that you were there once and lend a non-judgmental helping hand!

Don't forget why you're a Developer. Remember the things you wanted and dreamed when started in this! Sometimes you can forget those things so keep them in your mind.

Don't forget to set a password when installing mysql from cl #devmistakes

I don't understand why someone who's totally sane and careful could forget to turn off MySQL general log over Christmas vacation. Of course Disk out of space caused us down time :/

You may know I love to hate tests. Well not the tests actually, what I hate is the TDD culture.

DBMS schema in my app dictates a key can either have a value, or be omitted - it can't be null, and all queries are written with that in mind (also they're checked compile-time against schema). But tester failed to mock schema validation, inserted a bunch of null keys with mock data, actually wrote assertions to check those keys are null (even though they never should be), and wanted me to add "or null" to my "exists" queries.

No, we don't need more tests, and you're not smart with your "edge cases" argument. DBMS and compiler ensure those null values can never exists in our DB, and they're already well tested by their developers. We need you to stop relying on TDD so much you forget about the practical purpose of the code, and to occasionally break from the whole theoretical independent tests to make sure your testing actually aligns with third-party services some code uses.

And no, we don't need more tests to test your mocks, and tests to test those test, and yo dawg, I heard ...

Don't forget to give the developers the opportunity to innovate. Nobody wants to sit and type out the same structures day after day. That's not why we got into this job. We like solving problems. In my current team we set aside some time every sprint to spend on individual innovation. Super useful as it gives us the chance to break out from the standard chugging of the backlog and spend some time trying to solve some of the trickier problems and bringing improvements back to the product that we discovered by messing around with stuff. If you are reading this and you are in charge of a development team, try this out for a sprint or 2.

Don't forget to decodeURI()
Don't forget to decodeURI()
Don't forget to decodeURI()

Oh yeah 🙌🏼 So here is the other thing! Many of us work on side projects where we build awesome stuff in our spare time. We don't get much publicity, userbase or conversions as we are not marketing people. So go ahead and write short desc about your product along with website link if you have any. Product screenshot is most welcome 😜 Don't forget to tag post with "mystartup" 🙌🏼 Looking forward to see awesome projects.

A co-worker shared his wisdom with me today:
"It's okay for your job to be the side quest of your story, just don't forget the main quest"

And I'm left thinking, that's deep as shit, but if my track record in Skyrim is anyting to go by I'm fucked.

At least the easter holidays are coming up. Back to the main quest :D

So I'm trying to get used to using vim and I've spent a couple of days setting up my vimrc and practising commands and what not.

Come today I'm doing my first proper coding session and my codes sending back weird errors and I can't work out why

Then when I read very carefully I find :w somewhere it's not supposed to be... Of course I'd forgetten to enter normal mode a ton of times and now my code is littered with :wq and :w so I spent a few minutes combing my code to find them all and it all works now.

Am I an elite hacker now?

I am always perplexed by people who write stuff like: "I don't know why people would use Rust, I simply never write code with bugs in it"

Just, lol

Like, using C or C++ is fine of course, but don't pretend you're perfect and that all of your bounds are checked, all of your allocations are freed exactly once and that you never forget to lock a mutex.

Don't forget to drink and eat something!

So I just spent a 7 fucking hours recreating a feature just to find out that I already did it once. Don't forget to checkout the correct branch fellas.

I work on a team project for a test and maintenance course in University. We agreed as a team to adopt a git infrastructure that would prioritize the stability of the master branch at all cost by only updating commits up to the next stable point and tagging every single release. We have a long polling development branch to prepare our releases and we create feature branches for the tickets we need to resolve. I even wrote documentation to make sure that we don't forget and protected the master branch on gitlab from direct modifications.

Can someone fucking tell me how one of my teammates managed to fuck over all of this and work on an unfinished feature straight on master?

N.b. I know that he probably edited straight from gitlab's online text editor because they have a big where they don't restrict modifications on protected branches.

Show a comment field below a discussion, with rich text and link functionality, to inspire people to craft a detailed answer.

Maybe they will forget to type Ctrl+A, Ctrl+C before hitting send.

So when they do, show a message that "you must be logged in to comment". Use a JS SPA to make sure that there is no way for users to restore their drafted comment. Don't show it after they logged in. When they use their browser's back button, they surely want to exit the application, so make sure to discard any transient data in that case.

Seen on WordPress.org using their infamous Gutenberg block editor.

I'm feeling empty. All my friends and roomates went home. But I stayed in hostel. I haven't touched my laptop from last 3 days. I'm just lying on bed staring at ceiling. I'm not even in a relationship, so I call my mother everyday to get the feeling of being loved.
This quarantine is strange. First few days I spent my time playing video games, watching Netflix, laughing at memes. But Now I'm feeling empty. Very strange thoughts are now occupying my mind. I'm sleeping 10+ hrs, and staring at ceiling or outside window most of the time. My room is a mess. Forget washing hands, I don't even feel like standing up to switch on lights.
I'm not saying I feel sad or depressed, I just feel very strange.

We released a website for a client 10 days ago. The site was up and running and everything seemed fine.

But it turns out that the site used 15GB of bandwidth in 5 days ( WTF???).

So now I need to go and examine my code to make sure I didn't forget something and implement a new caching methods to try and reduce the amount of bandwidth being used.

But I still don't understand how a small "newspaper" website with a max upload size of 5MB could of used so much in so little time.

I also added a screenshot showing the number of visits from an addthis dashboard

If you're a PO; Please don't make the sprint review take almost 2 hours. Put it in text, make tickets, make roadmap and show it me that way. I've forgotten 90% of the meeting by the time I speak to you in the next daily.

I hate meetings. Waste of fucking time, especially when all you do is listen to what the PO wants for 1 hour and then both sides forget it the next day.
Use-fucking-less.

I understand that some people have trouble with home office.

Well. I don't.

But at least have the fugging frigging respect and
1) answer my bloody questions, especially if I'm frigging nice and make a questionaire and notify you without a shitty meeting.
2) when you ask for an appointment during non working hours.... Then don't be fucking late and especially don't fucking miss it without telling.
3) And don't... Don't fucking give me a bullshit excuse like "yeah, I forget".
At least an honest apology....

I'm currently really close to murder people or call an meeting where I declare that waiting for appointments will be counted as work time.

(hint: this is the fucking sixth time in 4 weeks someone fucked up. And I'm really pissed)

I'm gonna rant about how Discord does not let you disable 2FA after having it enabled if you forget the code they provide for cases where you don't have access to the 2FA in the first place and I lost a damn account to that :/

You know shit is going to hit the fan if the sentence "c++ is the same as java" is said because fuck all the underlying parts of software. It's all the fucking same. Oh and to write a newline in bash we don't use \n or so, we just put an empty echo in there. And fuck this #!/bin/bash line, I'm a teacher. I don't need to know how shit works to teach shit. Let's teach 'em you need stdio for printf even tho it compiles fine without on linux (wtf moment number one, asking em leaves you with "dunno..") and as someone who knows c you look at your terminal questioning everything you ever learned in your whole life. And then we let you look into the binaries with ldd and all the good stuff but we won't explain you why you can see a size difference in the compiled files even tho you included stdio in the second one, and all symbol tables show the exact same thing but dude chill, we don't know what's going on either.
Oh and btw don't use different directory names as we do in our examples. You won't find your own path, there is no tab key you can press to auto-fill shit.
But thats not everything. How about we fill a whole semester with "this is how to printf" but make you write a whole game with unity and c#. (not thaught even the slightest bit until then btw)
Now that you half-assed everything because we put you in a group full of fucks who don't even know what a compiler is but want to tell you you don't know shit and show you their non-working unfinished algorithms in some not-even-syntax-correct java...

...how about we finally go on with Algebra II: complex numbers, how they are going to fuck up your life, how we can do roots of negative numbers all of the sudden and let you do some probability shit no one ever fucking needs. BUT WHY DON'T YOU KNOW EVERYTHING ALREADY HMMMMM, IT'S YOUR SECOND LESSON, YOU WENT TO SCHOOL PLS BE A MATH PRO ASAP CUS YOU NEED IT SO MUCH BUT YOU DON'T NEED TO KNOW PROPER SYNTAX, HOW MEMORY MANAGEMENT WORKS, WHAT A REFERENCE IS AND PLS FINALLY FORGET THE WORD "ALLOCATION" IT DOESN'T PLAY A SINGLE ROLE YOU ARE STUDYING SOFTWARE DEVELOPMENT WHY ARE YOU SO BAD AT ECONOMICS IT MAKES NO SENSE I MEAN YOU HAD A WHOLE SEMESTER OF HOW TO GREET SOMEONE IN ENGLISH, MATHS > ECONOMICS > ENGLISH > FUCKING SHIT > CODING SKILL THATS HOW THE PRIORITIES WORK FOR US WHY DON'T YOU GET IT IT MAKES SO MUCH SENSE BRAH

Today I learned what actually happens if you don't close your database connections (because you forget) after you've used it. Feck all happens for the first 9 requests, and after that error 504 😂

I don't know your view on girls coding but I love it. They're vicious, focused and can do their job and instantly they can smile at you and make you forget everything. Thank you for being around the office.

My soul cringes a bit every time some smart ass decides to put "Smart" before the product name.
As though nothing means smart as much as digging your own hole.

More broadly, the whole whole world is buying into this "smart" mantra. As if anything and everything that existed before was not smart. Basically "I'm the best" attitude. Don't forget that you can see far only because you're standing on the shoulders of giants.

Case in point:
1. Smart phone which is smart enough to start causing trouble after a couple of years.
2. Smart watch
3. Smart car
4. Smart planes
5. Smart home
.
.
Fucking non sense

Forget about everything I could say these last 2 days: I'm having as much fun with Docker than when I first discovered Ruby on Rails 3 years ago 😍
I still don't understand everything with docker-compose & shit but so much things are way more clear when you try them out!

I think the fact that even Apple can't unlock your phone if you forget your passcode proves that they use very naive encryption method.

Suppose my data is "Hey This is Some Data" and Passcode is 1234, I could just Jumble this data using that passcode and It will be difficult to decrypt without Passcode. And If data is huge, it will be fairly impossible to do so. But that doesn't make it a good encryption method.

Such encryption, though safe is not practical, Imagine if there was no "Forget Password" Option on any account, I usually forgot my password very often when I was a child.

Apple has been doing such things for years, Using Bad things as a selling point. Apple users are dumb anyways because they don't want to control their phone.

Reset Password is a weak point which might be exploited but in such cases, usability is more important than security. Any service which doesn't allow resetting Password is a shitty service and I would never use such a service, They are too naive.

Been using linux for too long I forgot my windows password... I don't fucking forget password! Maybe this is a sign I should get rid of windows entirely 🚶🚶

How to get your website reach out people with no advertisements!?

1. Once it's built, make another mock up by changing a few main highlighted words to "(null)" or undefined!

2. Then send the link to any person in the software development field, anonymously!

That person will take care of the rest!

Note: don't forget to change the mock up with the original after u have sent the link!

Goals before wk200:
0. Get the hell out of this Geophysics faculty and transfer to Computer science faculty in university which I was dreaming of since I was high school freshman.
1. Meet my girlfriend. (I'm in long distance relationship and there's a huge ocean between us).
2. Get to be able to learn probability in Math so I can understand AI topic.
3. Get better money from my amazon business.
4. Get better sleep.
5. Stop being so scared of dentists and go fucking fix my tooth that hurts.
6. Lose weight.
7. Don't buy video-games that I'm not going to play after a week and forget about it.
8. Listen to the Math lectures.
9. Stop feeling the need to kiss the girl that sits next to me in university (Which is by the way my BFF ).
That's all I can think of yet.

How do you prevent your software being vulnerable to IP address spoofing? Authentication? Certificates? VPN? Nah, just check the MAC address field of every packet. Nobody ever spoofed a MAC address before, that's just impossible. I thought that in binary there were only ones and zeros, but I guess nobody told me about the special tamper-resistant ones and zeros that MAC address fields are made of.

Oh, once you've done that, don't forget to tell the marketing people to put it in a brochure as an "innovation" for everyone to see.

I should post more of the crap the idiots I work "with" (quotes, because I am only here in body not mind) say. Especially when it comes to network stuff.

When you work for German Telekom, don't forget to PRAIS THE SUN \[T]/

I had this amazing boss. He had 25 years of experience in the sector covered by our software, an ERP. He knew how to be a programmer, a boss, a sales manager, a support person.
I learned most of the best practices from him: do not shout in the office, it makes impossible to work. Don't hide something to your coworkers, nobody was trusting him. Be clear with your clients, his subtle mind tricks pissed off a lot of clients. Your client needs to see an economic advantage in your offers, trying to sell gold priced shit is not a good way to stay in the market. The list could go on and on and on.

I learned what happens when you do everything in the wrong way, and I will never forget.

Not a rant

After coding, cooking/ book reading is my favorite hobby.

Before last 3 month I took dcsn to give a shot to my other hobby cooking and pause on coding for few months.
I decided to give 100days to my cafe.

Arranging money and perfect location took 2 months , on 16 july I started my cafe not so fancy, just sweet simple.

Means 30 days we're completed,
I was earning 1000 inr as software developer, i am earning 10000 inr daily . My net profit is 1500inr

Moral of the story

Don't hesitate to take risk
Believe on yourself
Never never never start with partnership

Currently I have to pay 1.5 lakh to my ex business partner who left cafe in first 15 days

N

Forget personal life. Your business is your priority.

Not spend even १ full day with my family and gf in last 3 months.

Soon I will back in software.

Have a good day to everyone.

Happy Holidays everyone!!
Stay safe, pamper yourself and don't forget to remember you are loved :))

Will see you on the other side 🤘

Friend (Computer Science student) - Dual boot my Windows 10 with Ubuntu
Me - I will, but chances are something bad may happen. Mostly it does not. I advise you to backup everything first.
Friend - But I don't even have an external hard drive.
Me - So what do you want me to do?
Friend - Forget it. I'll figure how to do my work in Windows
Me - But how else are you going to learn?
Friend - Ain't nobody got time for that!

Me: focused on coding....

Manager: we have that call tomorrow with the customers it guy.

Me: sure.

Manager: could you write the questions down, so you don't forget it.

Me: I Am FUCKING CODING.... I WROTE THE FUCKING SYSTEM ITTSSS MINE I DON'T FORGET WHAT I WROTE YOU PIECE OF SHIT....

I'm the kind of person that can type without looking at the keyboard. But... I don't really know how to type, I just do it unconsciously. But when someone reminds me of the keyboard, or I think on the keyboard. I can't stop looking at it when typing. Suddenly I forget how to type. fuck fuck fuck now I can't stop looking at it.l ksajfn;laksj fpdsbaf;dsajfn

Prof - Students, from now If someone asks you what you did yesterday, explain every minute detail of the task... Use fluent English, use rich vocabulary and MOST IMPORTANTLY -- if you were not able to complete your plans, make sure the other person knows it wasn't UR MISTAKE.... Don't forget to call out things that u asked for but will be delayed due to "unavoidable circumstances".
Make sure you take atleast 2 mins to finish. At the end greet everyone by saying "That's it".

-
HOW TO BECOME EFFECTIVE STANDUP SPEAKER

Autoformat. My boss hates it when I use it, he tells me if I do it again I'll get some pain. Namely because autoformat mixed in with code changes is ugly, that's understandable. But he's barred me from using it entirely, although I find it useful when working in Python or CSS... So to circumvent this I make a separate commit with "cleanup", however I sometimes forget to do this... I know I've forgotten, because my boss calls my name from the room next door. I get up, step inside his office and - "Don't use f****** autoformat!". Well FML.