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I hired a woman for senior quality assurance two weeks ago. Impressive resume, great interview, but I was met with some pseudo-sexist puzzled looks in the dev team.
Meeting today. Boss: "Why is the database cluster not working properly?"
Team devs: "We've tried diagnosing the problem, but we can't really find it. It keeps being under high load."
New QA: "It might have something to do with the way you developers write queries".
She pulls up a bunch of code examples with dozens of joins and orderings on unindexed columns, explains that you shouldn't call queries from within looping constructs, that it's smart to limit the data with constraints and aggregations, hints at where to actually place indexes, how not to drag the whole DB to the frontend and process it in VueJS, etc...
New QA: "I've already put the tasks for refactoring the queries in Asana"
I'm grinning, because finally... finally I'm not alone in my crusade anymore.
Boss: "Yeah but that's just that code quality nonsense Bittersweet always keeps nagging about. Why is the database not working? Can't we just add more thingies to the cluster? That would be easier than rewriting the code, right?"
Dev team: "Yes... yes. We could try a few more of these aws rds db.m4.10xlarge thingies. That will solve it."
QA looks pissed off, stands up: "No. These queries... they touch the database in so many places, and so violently, that it has to go to therapy. That's why it's down. It just can't take the abuse anymore. You could add more little brothers and sisters to the equation, but damn that would be cruel right? Not to mention that therapy isn't exactly cheap!"
Dev team looks annoyed at me. My boss looks even more annoyed at me. "You hired this one?"
I keep grinning, and I nod.
"I might have offered her a permanent contract"46 -
Interviewer: So you worked with mysql?
Me: yes, for over 6 years
Interviewer: so, you know how to write queries?11 -
No it's not AI. YOU ARE RUNNING FUCKING SQL QUERIES AND CALLING IT AI!
No it's not AI. YOU ARE RUNNING SIMPLE DATA ANALYSIS MACROS AND FUNCTIONS IN EXCEL!
Stop labelling everything as AI, you attention and investment seeking morons! @&£$¢×xo##!29 -
Why am single 😂😂
On a date with a girl:
Her: Tell me what you do for a living
Me: I create my own stress and worries, sometimes these worries follow me in my sleep.
Her: Did they follow you here?
Me: Yes! Infact, I got it now. I think I forgot to install curl, that's why my API queries wouldn't work.
Her: Excuse me?
Me: I mean, I out of here, bug is fixed bit*h14 -
Another one, teach secure programming for fucks sake! This always happened at my study:
Me: so you're teaching the students doing mysql queries with php, why not teach them PDO/prepared statements by default? Then they'll know how to securely run queries from the start!
Teachers: nah, we just want to go with the basics for now!
Me: why not teach the students hashing through secure algorithms instead of always using md5?
Teacher: nah, we just want to make sure they know the basics :)
For fucks fucking sake, take your fucking responsibilities.31 -
The DNS server I'm writing in PHP (largely taken from another project) is starting to work!
Next to just blocking queries it logs every blocked query so I can have stats :3
A little terminal output:
64 -
Hey everyone - tonight we performed a database upgrade and unfortunately there were a few "surprise" breaking changes to the query language we use that weren't caught during testing. Once they were discovered after the upgrade. The queries were corrected within a few minutes. You might have noticed some issues with commenting, voting, etc.
On this note, please let me know if you notice anything suspicious like errors when trying to perform normal actions, or anything at all. I appreciate any reports since it's a bit tricky for us to cover every last part of the app alone, though I think we went through most of it. Thanks and please let me know if you have any questions!21 -
A typical demo...
Me: We added validation, server communication, caching....
Customer: Meh...
Me: We fixed bugs, sped up queries, implemented X features.
Customer: Meh...
Me: We surpassed the speed of light, transcended to another plane of reality, cured cancer, brought peace to galaxy.
Customer: Meh...
UI Designer: I prepared these sketches for the UI
Customer: Wow, so innovative, look at that beautiful transitions, even mobile design, just wow
Me: * dies *11 -
Are you serious? Are you afraid of an SQL injection or something, and instead of properly sanitizing your queries you disallow characters? Or is your software and database so outdated that you're afraid special characters will break it? Goodbye security
15 -
Me: Sitting in beanbag chair in development office, using closed macbook as a plate for a large walnut-brie-honey-rucola sandwich, honey dripping all over the aluminium top.
New manager (well, he's pretty old, but newly hired): "I don't think you're allowed to eat near the computers"
Me: "And I don't think you're allowed in my dev cave".
*Put macbook to the side*
*push him out of the office*
*close sliding door*
*close blinds*
*sit in beanbag chair*
*eat sandwich*
*lick honey from macbook*
I'm sorry, coworkers. Two weeks of writing MySQL queries made me a bit feral.9 -
PM: Hey. I need this data right away so I can generate some reports!
/me runs some queries, creates some csv files, emails results
PM: Thanks! I'll look at this after I get back from vacation!3 -
FML. An overreaching supergenius "architect" and a database team:
A: "We have decided that apps should use mysql. Install a MySQL so we match cloud"
DBA: "we don't have an image or experience with MySQL. We have mssql and Oracle "
A: "ok, use mssql in data center and mysql in production cloud"
DBA: "that's... not going to work well"
A: "just do it!"
...
Me, reading this shit, sends email: "ignoring the fact that we have more than 500 queries in this application which will need to be checked and most likely rewritten, how are we supposed to test the mysql queries without production access?"
A: "just use mssql local and MySQL in cloud"
M: "... Just to make sure I understand, you want us to write queries for mssql, test them locally, and then write separate queries, with a separate SQL connection abstraction that deploys to production? Again, how are we going to test this?"
A: "no, use same queries, should be fine"
M: "they really won't, they're different dialects"
A: "do the needful, make work!"
If karma were a thing, this person would have long since exploded into a cloud of atomized blood.18 -
"Hey, Root, someone screwed up and now all of our prod servers are running this useless query constantly. I know I already changed your priorities six times in the past three weeks, but: Go fix it! This is higher priority! We already took some guesses at how and supplied the necessary code changes in the ticket, so this shouldn't take you long. Remember, HIGH PRIORITY!"
1. I have no idea how to reproduce it.
2. They have no idea how to reproduce it.
3. The server log doesn't include queries.
4. The application log doesn't include queries.
5. The tooling intercepts and strips out some log entries the legendary devs considered useless. (Tangent: It also now requires a tool to read the logs because log entries are now long json blobs instead of plain text.)
6. The codebase uses different loggers like everywhere, uses a custom logger by default, and often overwrites that custom logger with the default logger some levels in. gg
7. The fixes shown in the ticket are pretty lame. (I've fixed these already, and added one they missed.)
8. I'm sick and tired and burned out and just can't bring myself to care. I'm only doing this so i don't get fired.
9. Why not have the person who screwed this up fix it? Did they quit? I mean, I wouldn't blame them.
Why must everything this company does be so infuriatingly complicated?11 -
Soms week ago a client came to me with the request to restructure the nameservers for his hosting company. Due to the requirements, I soon realised none of the existing DNS servers would be a perfect fit. Me, being a PHP programmer with some decent general linux/server skills decided to do what I do best: write a small nameservers which could execute the zone transfers... in PHP. I proposed the plan to the client and explained to him how this was going to solve all of his problems. He agreed and started worked.
After a few week of reading a dozen RFC documents on the DNS protocol I wrote a DNS library capable of reading/writing the master file format and reading/writing the binary wire format (we needed this anyway, we had some more projects where PHP did not provide is with enough control over the DNS queries). In short, I wrote a decent DNS resolver.
Another two weeks I was working on the actual DNS server which would handle the NOTIFY queries and execute the zone transfers (AXFR queries). I used the pthreads extension to make the server behave like an actual server which can handle multiple request at once. It took some time (in my opinion the pthreads extension is not extremely well documented and a lot of its behavior has to be detected through trail and error, or, reading the C source code. However, it still is a pretty decent extension.)
Yesterday, while debugging some last issues, the DNS server written in PHP received its first NOTIFY about a changed DNS zone. It executed the zone transfer and updated the real database of the actual primary DNS server. I was extremely euphoric and I began to realise what I wrote in the weeks before. I shared the good news the client and with some other people (a network engineer, a server administrator, a junior programmer, etc.). None of which really seemed to understand what I did. The most positive response was: "So, you can execute a zone transfer?", in a kind of condescending way.
This was one of those moments I realised again, most of the people, even those who are fairly technical, will never understand what we programmers do. My euphoric moment soon became a moment of loneliness...21 -
Had to do a course on database design a couple of years ago. One exercise was about SQL queries and a bit of theory of databases.
On the night of the submission I got so drunk that I had to use both hands to control the mouse and instead of my solution I uploaded the exercise description.4 -
I once optimized a web page that performed 621 SQL queries and loaded in 21 seconds in a production app.8
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Installed my pihole a few days ago and not a very high percentage blocked.
Added google/facebook/twitter and some more to the wildcard (regex) blacklist and BAM, so many blocked queries!
Fuck Google, Facebook, twitter and other mass surveillance companies.26 -
Not that i mean any disrespect but fuck you. Fuck you and all that you stand for. No seriously, just go hit a train and die.
You are a DBMS teacher in an Engineering college and teaching to the Computer Science students in the year 2017, where computers are fully capable of playing sports and simulating human brain.
And you want your students to write down all the sql queries along with their monolithic tabular output on paper..... With pen?
And you wont accept my printed out output?
Fuck you from the depths of my heart.
Go ahead and dont accept my project.
I dont need your fucking credits.7 -
Me: has tons of search queries relating to web development
Ads: BUILDING A WEBSITE IS EASY WITH WIX5 -
This is one of the most unexpected, silly and ridiculous behaviors of MySQL: it doesn't support LIMIT in sub-queries, however it perfectly supports it in sub-sub-queries. WTF.
10 -
Previous developers read entire result of a SELECT into array of arrays.
Then used that later on in the following fashion.
print "name: " + result[row][17]
print "address: " + result[row][23]
...
without any description whatsoever what the numbers mean.
And it's here "result" and "row", in the actual code it was "arr" and "ii".
And these arrays were "public static" used everywhere, but initialized only at few places, so if you went onto wrong screen or if there was a phone call that kicked the app out it crashed.
But real fun began when people started changing queries and altering tables...
I seriously thought I was being pranked as a new hire.9 -
* How other sites charge for a domain name
- The domain (abc.com) is available
---- Price => $14
* How AWS charges
- Your domain (abc.com) is available
--- Domain name => $18.99
--- DNS resolution => $17.88
--- Hosted zone (1) => $10.97
--- Route53 Interface => $45.67
--- Network ACL => $63.90
--- Security Group => $199.78
--- NAT Gateway (1) => $78.99
--- IP linking => $120.89
--- Peer Connection => $67.00
--- Reverve Endpoint => $120.44
--- DNS Propagation => $87.00
--- Egress Gateway => $98.34
--- DNS Queries (1m) => $0.40
--------------------------------
---- TOTAL => $2903.99
(Pay for what you use... learn more)
--------------------------------13 -
Friend asked me to help with his HTML5 form validation. His back-end work was decent, but whoever did the front-end... Oh boy.
They used media queries for mobile etc, which was fine. Until I saw what the queries did. Instead of resizing the form accordingly, they hide the visible one and make another one visible.
WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS7 -
Our university has a rather small gym, and it tends get pretty crowded. They have an online counter, so I wrote a Python script that queries the current number of people every minute, and logs it in a CSV (no need to get fancy). Hopefully in a week I’ll have enough data to spot the quiet times 😎6
-
A Month ago...
Me: when are you going to complete the report
Friend: we can do it in minutes
Me: you can't Ctrl + c and Ctrl +v as there is plagiarism check
Friend: we have spin bot
Me: you do that now itself . if something happens? You can join me .
Friend: just chill
Now ...
Me: done with report
Friend: feeding it to spin bot!
Feeds text related to database security....
Spin bot:
Garbage collector == city worker
SQL statements == SQL explanation
SQL queries == SQL interrogation
SQL injection == SQL infusion
Attack == assault
Malicious == noxious
Data integrity == information uprightness
Sensitive == touchy
.....
Me: told you so...
**spin not == article rewriter3 -
Writing raw SQL queries is honestly a lot of fun if you have unrestricted access to interesting data.
Man I'm boring...1 -
The use of git and understanding/working with foreign keys and performing (including the understanding) JOIN queries.
Also, it took me years and to understand OOP.
When think back to my code from before that, my brain spontaneously starts bleeding.6 -
!rant
My work does this contest where they email everyone a puzzle where you have to guess a safety slogan. They give you maybe 1-2 letters in each word and there are about 5 or 6 words. So I found a list of every word in the English language online, I imported it into a database and I ran a few queries to return all possible words for each, depending on the length of the word, and where the letter hints are placed. I haven't missed one puzzle so far. :D
p.s. I told my girlfriend and she said, "I am dating a nerd".6 -
**Evolution of Cursee's Search Queries**
Chronological orders from 2007 to 2018
- internet not working
- wifi not working
- wifi not working on ubuntu
- wifi not working on ubuntu XX.xx
- install wifi driver ubuntu XX.xx
- install Realtek rtl88xxxx on ubuntu Xx.xx6 -
Client: “I’m sorry I just don’t understand the issue with the contract?
You said logging into Facebook was easy, what’s the issue with feature X (= complex graph API queries based on opinions and sentiment) and displaying images and videos, it’s the same thing!!!”
... no sir, it is NOT2 -
So my co-worker loves to tell us to comment our code, for obvious reasons.
But now I'm debugging his code, and guess what.
No comments.
Okay, maybe two comments in two different queries, but they were not that helpfull.
So now I have to debug his code, and I have no idea what I'm even supposed to look for!10 -
Optimizing the queries and backend
OR
Hiding the waiting time with funny animations and weird preloading techniques
Catch: let marketing decide10 -
Sooo I've been working on an ancient php 5.6 project that did not have any documentation and was a homemade "framework" created 7 years ago. The original creator is long gone and no one else knows a lot about this project.
When I first looked into it I almost immediately noticed the security flaws...
Old outdated libraries
a "development" feature to easily turn dev mode on/off
BY A GET PARAMETER!
it spits out full sql queries and php warnings -.-
Oh and did I mention that the site is a webshop.... and has a backdoor password?
AND THAT THE CUSTOMER REQUESTED THAT?3 -
I messed up carelessly in production. Learnt how SQL queries bite you in the ass when it knows you are under pressure.
Was hosting an online quiz kinda thing during my college techfest. Tens of thousands of people participating.
Using MySQL as database and thousands of queries were being executed. Everyone were pretty excited as the event just opened up.
None of the teams could solve one particular level. Turns out the solution was wrong and was asked by the organisers to change the solution for that particular level. Usual stuff, right?
Was too lazy to open up the web UI for the back office and so, straight ahead logged in to the MySQL server and ran the UPDATE query on the table consisting of the solutions.
It had been a couple of hours and the organisers came to me with a weird problem. There were no changes in the scoreboard for the last two hours. Everyone were stuck wherever they were. Weird, right?
I then realized.
Fk.
In that dreaded query, I had only run
UPDATE 'qa' SET answer = 'something'
leaving out the where clause, specifying the question to update, like
WHERE qno=13
As a result, solutions to all the questions were updated to the same answer. After hastily fixing everything back, I had the dreaded conversation.
Org: What was the problem?
Me: It was the cache.
Org: Damn thing. Always messes up.
Me: *sheepishly* yeah
Probably the most embarrassing moment in my life, wrt coding 😑4 -
I managed to accidentally clear everybody's usernames and email addresses from an SQL table once. I only recovered it because a few seconds before, I'd opened a tab with all the user data displayed as an HTML table. I quickly copied it into Excel, then a text editor (saving multiple times!), then managed to write a set of queries to paste it all back in place. If I'd refreshed the tab it would have all gone!2
-
i understand some developers like to write wrapper functions to handle tedious things, I even understand how to write dynamic SQL queries, but for the love of fucking god and sanity, NEVER FUCKING DO THIS!!!!
Yes its PHP, but its not even bad PHP, its a fucking abomination from hell of PHP.
31 -
I thought most developers were aware of the dangers of interpolating variables into strings in the context of SQL queries, but apparently some people are oblivious.
`SELECT * FROM USERS WHERE USERNAME = ${username}`
My username is ' ' OR 1=1;6 -
My first time working with Java and SQL queries(SQL with little/no knowledge): created separate db for each entities and hoped it to work together after the coding was finished.
what a noob! -
SQL injection holes everywhere... The original author of the product put concatenated SQL queries throughout the whole application. If it's not the client asked for a penetration test, we as developers wouldn't even be given chance to fix this shit.
I'm actually glad to have the chance. I can't live seeing them every day but force myself to ignore them.8 -
Who holds the #1 Google spot for these queries?
fuck c#: devRant
fuck typescript: devRant
fuck xcode: devRant
fuck product owner: devRant
fuck docker: reddit (devRant is 2)
fuck java: reddit (devRant is 2)
fuck agile: reddit (devRant is 2)
fuck scrum: reddit (devRant is 2)
fuck sql: reddit (devRant is 2)
fuck node: reddit (devRant is 3)
fuck php: github (devRant is 4)
fuck python: github (devRant is 4)
fuck clojure: reddit (devRan't didn't rank on first page)
fuck rust: reddit (devRant didn't rank on first page)
fuck scala: reddit (devRant didn't rank on first page)
fuck ruby: **am I still connected to the company VPN? I might have some explaining to do** (devRant didn't rank)12 -
After months of development, testing, testing and even more testing the app was ready for deployment to production. Happy days, the end was in sight!
I had a week's leave so I handed over the preparation for deployment to my Senior Developer and left it in his capable hands while I enjoyed the sun and many beers.
I came back on the day of deployment and proudly pressed the deploy button. Hurrah!
Not long after I got loads of phone calls from around the country as the app wasn't working. What madness is this?! We tested this for months!
Turns out my Senior didn't like the way I'd written the SQL queries so he changed them. Which is obviously both annoying and unprofessional, but even worse he got a join wrong so the memory usage was a billion times more and it drained the network bandwidth for the whole site when I tried to debug it.
I got all the grief for the app not working and for causing many other incidents by running queries that killed the network.
So...much... rage!!!3 -
Don't you love it when you take a look at a company frontend React code and GraphQL queries and they say you are hacking them? 🤔🤦🏻♂🤣
12 -
That moment that you finally have a functioning goddamn application and then you notice that the queries (Postgis) are so fucking heavy (one percent load up when executing about 5 simultaneously) that you start to wonder how you'll ever run this in production...
I know jack shit about Postgres/Postgis, this is going to be fun 😐14 -
Interviewer at the end of the meet : Do you have any other queries..?
Our programming guy : of course, select * from ...1 -
Why I love Salesforce 👀
- Run a test method
- failure: no field found
- checks test, queries field
- checks field security (access permissions) visible to user
- runs test again
- failure: no field found
- adds debug log of queried field
- runs test again
- succes
Thanks, thanks for fucking with me today 🥲6 -
Pushed an update to production but forgot to turn off the debug option to print SQL queries to the log. Now all I see is SQL queries.
It's now hopeless to read the log with tail ¯\_(ツ)_/¯2 -
So these motherfuckers... they have stored the queries to generate the reports... fucking guess where. Just guess.
They stored the queries AS FUCKING STRING DATA IN THE TABLE. And you know how they get the parameters? A FUCKING JOIN WHERE THEY HAVE STORED THE PARAMS AS DATA IN ANOTHER TABLE.
So you query set the params to query to get the query to get that is joined with a query to get the reports.
If God is a programmer after all y’all are fuuuuuuuuuuuuuucked4 -
After three hours of emailing with a customer I can confirm that programmers are the worst customers.
Customer: We've found a bug in the system... <details>
Me: Thank you for letting us know, a ticket has been created and the issue is most likely to be fixed in the next release.
Customer: Please grant me UPDATE privileges in the live(!) database so I can fix it myself
Me: I cannot allow that. You have to use the client software for maintaining your data.
Customer: No, I don't want to spend my day clicking. I want to write queries.
We didn't reply to the last one yet...
If we give him access, then I would charge them at least 3x for fixing issues caused by him.1 -
#2
There's only one model. The user model, wich is preinstalled. But the database has many tables. All queries are generated manually. Within the "mainController".
😓🔨5 -
Elasticsearch queries are FUCKING ugly
Elasticsearch documentation is FUCKING bare-minimum.
Kibana only shows data when it FUCKING feels like it.
Elastic stack is FUCKING annoying me12 -
Client: *uses Oracle on AWS RDS*
Ora: *licence about to expire*
Client: we need a cheaper and equally performant solution.
AWS: we have an outstanding Aurora db! Its performance is flawless!
Client: shut_up_and_take_my_money.png
Engineers: *migrating to Aurora mysql*
Engineers: fine-tuning the db for 2 months, adapting app code.
Aurora: *shits its pants during test ramp-up, delivers ~70% of Ora perf*
==========
Client: we need to do better!
AWS: try Aurora Postgresql!
Engineers: *migrating to Aurora postgresql*
Engineers: fine-tuning the db for 1 month.
Aurora: *shits its pants during test ramp-up, delivers ~40% of Ora perf*
AWS: let me see...
AWS DBAs: *fine-tuning the db for another 2 months*
Aurora: *survives ramp-up, delivers ~70% Ora perf*
AWS DBAs: your application is wrong.
We: Ora didn't complain about that...
AWS DBAs: umm.. Err.. Then your load test is wrong
We: ora wasn't complaining about that either...
AWS DBAs: errr.. Ummm.. Oh, I've got it! Your queries aren't optimized!
We: we cannot change queried - they are hardcoded by our framework's vendor
AWS DBAs: well there you go! Your queries aren't optimized! It's your fault, not aurora's
yyeeahhhh... Riight...
From my xp, aws support and aws engineers ALWAYS try to put the blame on a client. Always. Even when they're obviously wrong.15 -
i was coding some SQL queries for about 4 hours. After i had all of them done (more than 20 queries), the administration chick told me she doesn't needed all of them, just the half. I just wanted to kill her...6
-
Got a job as a database manager, they wanted me to update their sql server and some of their .net apps. Turns out their sql server had no databases and all their data was stored in an ms access 2003 applications that was using windows for workgroups security!!! It also had no interface, hundreds of tables and queries and there were multiple access db it was connected to. To make things worse the person who built all this stuff used acronyms for everything he did, table names, variables, queries and even bloody window folders!!! It was hard as hell to figure out what anything ment. Oh and the .net apps were asp sites that heavily used dll for storing his code and no one knows where the original source code for them are. Did I also mention there were no comments for any of the code, no database dictionary, no notes or anything.
So apparently I'll be rebuilding everything from scratch and transferring over the data to sql server. AND NO MORE F**KING ACRONYMS!!!!!!!2 -
Using Oracle 10g for our distributed databases practical lab session, and typed many SQL queries in one sheet.
Suddenly this guy came and told shortcut 'ctrl + r' to quickly run selected query.
And the page fucking reloaded and boom, all queries were gone! His evil laugh was more disturbing. 😡😡
Fuck him.3 -
Conversation with coworker at a staff function...
girl: ...we can't wait to see what you can do!
Me: Great! I can't wait to get stuck in, but you know, those exports you wanted from it, that doesn't have to wait. If you need that straight away, come to my desk and I'll make some queries for you and pull out the data you want...
Girl: o_0
Girl: ... Omg, you can do that?! You're awesome!!
Me later: o_0 - the Dev before me could never at least do that?!6 -
A BIG SHOUTOUT TO MY FRIEND @theKarlisK
He is the real MVP.
We both spent the weekend to setup OpenVPN + Pi-Hole on Oracle free tier.
He hand held me through the entire process, was super patient with my silly queries and in fact explained me everything so well that it got imprinted in my mind.
And ofc, he was super quick to debug and resolve issues and handed me all the commands for quick execution.
Super glad to have worked with him on this project.11 -
Two of my team members were trying to make a website responsive for over an hour. They tested everything. They checked the JavaScript, checked their CSS media queries, tried everything but it just wouldn't work on mobile browsers.
So as usual they decided it was "impossible" due to "WordPress constraints" and told me that it would work on the browser but not desktop.
I just added the meta viewport tag. It literally took 10 seconds. It worked.
I hate people who give up easily. Just hate it.2 -
Manager: let's use elasticsearch for performing relational queries. PostgreSQL performance is not great.
Me: Say what? 👿4 -
I hate time.
Yes, that dimension which unidirectionally rushes by and makes us miss deadlines.
Also yes, that object in most programming languages which chokes to death on formatting conversions, timezones, DST transitions and leap seconds.
But above all, I hate doing chronological things from the point of view of code, because it always involves scheduling and polling of some kind, through cron jobs and queues with workers.
When the web of actions dependent on predicted future and passed past events becomes complicated, the queries become heavy... and with slow queries, queues might lock or get delayed just a little bit...
So you start caching things in faster places, figure out ways to predict worker/thread priorities and improve scheduling algorithms.
But then you start worrying about cache warming and cascading, about hashing results and flushing data, about keeping all those truths in sync...
I had a nightmare last night.
I was a watchmaker, and I had to fix a giant ticking watch, forced to run like a mouse while poking at gears.
I fucking need a break. But time ticks on...2 -
Awesome! New server!
With a newer version of MySQL
With new bugs on my websites
Seriously, this new version destroyed all the queries6 -
I think nobody as a developer or as a sysadmin wants to deal with a grouchy sysdba. As a full stack developer who sometimes does the work of a sysadmin or sysdba I prefer to do things myself when I can.
But last week I was notified that my app was failing in prod. After some debugging the problem seemed to be related to some queries.
Upon further inspection I realized that the cunt revoked the select grant for the user my app was using.
I will let that sink in. He revoked the fucking select grant. Wtf😶3 -
So, part of my job is working with SQL. Not my favorite technology to work with. But the tables have mostly non-descript fields, multiple schemas in the same table, and encoded relationships spanning multiple tables. Yes, the database from hell! On top of that, there is very little documentation on this mess. -- And my boss wants me to write queries against a combination of these tables to make sure the program is working. RIGHT...3
-
Sorry for the excess of blury.
Coworker thinks running a query on a console is a way to proof all use-cases.
Good lord I'm still surprised at how many bugs I can spot just by overlooking his code.
I mean, what is a MVC?!!SHIFT+1!!!?
Routing is just a file importing a 5000 liner controller that is actually not a controller for it handles http attributes and sends the response themselves.
Models are just good guesses of queries or a shit load of them: see picture attached
HALP
5 -
I'm working this whole weekend to rewrite/move an old custom made shop extension to the new shop.
The amount of possible SQL injections is too damn high and this piece of shit the creator calls code is the most pitiable thing I have ever seen!
I don't how you can call yourself an experienced programmer if you create SQL queries by concatenating strings and variables in raw PHP, copying the same fucking includefiles to 10 different folders and use all of them in random places.
I'm not angry at all, I just want to castrate you with a blunt, fake swiss army knife so mankind is safe from you multiplying yourself.2 -
To the cunts who use single character aliases for their SQL queries table joins... Suck my throbbing dick till you choke on it and die....
That's all... back to work10 -
*Runs MySQL benchmark on a new server*
Result: 30 read queries a second.
*Hmm.... that can't be right...."
*Creates simple node benchmark script and runs it*
Result: 400-500 read queries a second.
Wtf mysql...
8 -
Running WireShark to see what one of our partners is sending across.
Outdated TLS: Ok, that's par for the course.
Leaking data through DNS queries: ButWhy.jpg
Website leaked through DNS doesn't require auth to view information. TableFlip.jpg1 -
Was writing a functional test in AdonisJS that queries an API endpoint with data and my test stays red with a dainty `expected 500 to equal 200` assertion failure.
In frustration, I yelled "What must I fuchen do to get my 500 to become a 200". Then my dev friend, an absolute fuchen genius tells me, "Subtract 300." I hope the prat stays debugging his code for a week!!
8 -
I see the industry evolving into dna-mutilated JS hipster virgins who use neuronal networks for even the simplest tasks an jerk off on MongoDB queries during their breaks while thinking of GraphQL queries.
Naughty.2 -
Me: I finished the tests! Almost 1000 lines of testing data. They're actually pretty thorough. We're ready to push the changed.
Manager: That's great! But the requirements changed. We're gonna change the schema and queries quite a bit.1 -
Database queries are slow.... quick add more indexes.
Tomorrow: Hey, why are database writes slow?
Rise. Lather. Repeat next week. 😡 Indexes can’t fix this spaghetti SQL!1 -
Ok, here goes...
I was once asked to evaluate upgrade options for an online shop platform.
The thing was built on Zend 1, but that's not the problem.
The geniuses that worked on it before didn't have any clue about best practices, framework convention, modular thinking, testing, security issues...nothing!
There were some instances when querying was done using a rudimentary excuse for a model layer. Other times, they would just use raw queries and just ignore the previous method. Sometimes the database calls were made in strange function calls inside randomly loaded PHP files from different folders from all over the place. Sometimes they used JOINs to get the data from multiple tables, sometimes they would do a bunch of single table queries and just loop every data set to format it using multiple for loops.
And, best of all, there were some parts of the app that would just ignore any ideea of frameworks, conventions and all that and would be just a huge PHP file full of spagetti code just spalshed around, sometimes with no apparent logic to it. Queries, processing, HTML...everything crammed in one file...
The most amazing thing was that this code base somehow managed to function in production for more than 5 years and people actualy used it...
Imagine the reaction I got from the client the moment I said we should burn it to the ground and rebuild the whole thing from scratch...
Good thing my boss trusted me and backed me up (he is a great guy by the way) and we never had to go along with that Frankenstein monster... -
when reviewing each other's code and sql queries is the most romantic way you can think of to spend the evening1
-
Hey Google, please stop ignoring 3 out of 5 words in my search queries ever so often. I have been getting tired of the unhelpful note "missing: " followed by the most relevant parts of my question.
Can't wait for Microsoft to add openAI to Bing. While I'm more than sceptical about its use, at least it might end Google's quasi-monopoly in the search engine market and bring back some competition.7 -
It's faster to design a database, import data from Excel, and run queries than having to deal with these formula shit4
-
Best:
- optimized a lot of queries and pieces of code
- graduated from the dutch equivalent of community college
- started a new education
- updated our password schema from a shameful algorithm to bcrypt
Worst:
- haven't been able to convince my colleague and bosses to automate stuff
- still no tests
- still a php dev
- still alone
2018:
Come at me with your c++ and robots! I'll fucking master you!1 -
Going through site after senior dev asked front end dev to go through it and tweak it for design and better responsiveness(he and I are back end oriented and have no design skillz).
Things are breaking visually on almost all devices.
Client sends an email saying it suddenly looks terrible on mobile and wants to know what happened. I let him know we were actively working on things and it should be good in a few minutes.
Looking over CSS...there are "!important" tags EVERYWHERE, media queries are in the wrong order and have "!important" attached to almost everything so the largest screen size settings win.
Why do I even bother?2 -
Trying to get part time or remote mobile app development job in Milan.
Somehow got a job interview for a company based in USA for remote work. Cleared 3 rounds, got the final contract. For the final assessment, had to make changes in their existing project. Didn't get proper answer to my queries on time. Submitted results as per understanding. Got a rejection mail rn.
It was going on for 3 weeks and all my hopes were based on that.
Feeling Fcuked up.
😣4 -
Me: I think our customer should have to specify this thing.
Someone else: Let's do what we can to be really flexible for them.
Me Later: Yeah well our super flexibility now makes these queries they want impossible .....2 -
Today is the day I get to go on a long and deserved vacation!
I came to work at 5.10 am so I can pour a glass of Lagavulin 16yo as early as possible 🤣
Edit: At the moment im a few SQL queries away from the nectar of gods.2 -
Running SQL Activity Monitor to find inefficient queries. According to legecy team this is how they think they should query SQL 2014 for a customer.
10 -
Finally made good use of my RPi and setup pi-hole on it. After a painful 4hour long dist-upgrade and picking the right filters it is working like a charm. Why didn't I make this work earlier.
I've also wrote a little script which queries the api and displays different info on the AMOLED screen that was lying around unused for some time.
In case you are interested (from left to right and bottom), the traffic in the last 10 minutes with the max value on a graph, the most active clients query and blocked ratio as lines relative to the top one, and an overview of the total queries/ blocked queries and total clients.
At least I've finally spent a weekend useful not just playing games and watching anime.
5 -
There is this shitty database that still exists. It's called CrateDB. It's a SQL layer on a NoSQL. I don't know whose brilliant idea was that but any which way, IT SUCKS. Documentation said that the latest version supports table joins. Yeah, join queries take just ~300 seconds to run. Congratulations!
2 -
Finally I was able to look into css grids in more detail and gotta say it's impressive, also "grid-template-areas" made me chuckle for a bit, at how unusual and easy you can define layouts (even compatible with media queries!), which are also heavily obvious and readable, reminds me of the old games where characters were just symbols.1
-
me to dba: do you have any recommendations of sql or query improvements? dba: no, just let us know once you're done.
after sending them explain plans, new queries and asking for reviews with no response from them, i applied the changes in dev.
after applying changes.
dba: you should involve us in any development. we need to collaborate.
me: please check your emails over the past 3 weeks.
wtactualfuck. -
I never knew that I was a good mentor at SQL , specially at PL/SQL.
I gave a task to a new member of my team, to fill 5 tables with data from other 15 tables.
I informed him well about data table info and structure. He spended about 3 days to create 25 different queries in order to fill 5 tables.
After I saw the 25 queries, I told him, that he could do it with 1 main query and 5 insert statements.
So I spended 1 hour of training, in order to build,run and explain how to create the best sql statements for this task.
(First 5 minutes)
It was looking so simple at the beginning from starting with 1 simple join, after some steps he lost my actions.
(Rest 55 minutes)
I was explained the sql statements I 've created and how Oracle works.
Now , every time he meets me, he feels so thankful for learning him all those Oracle sql tips in 1 hour.
Now he is working only with big data and he loves the sql.1 -
How comes that people can write such fucking shitty code?
Because I mean, why the hell would I want a progress indicator while the form is loading?
Actually, let's just not disable the form while it's loading. Let the user get mad when it's data's overwritten.
And best of all. Let's use inconsistent naming and fucking metadata tables so that we don't have any structure and make queries slow.
Yes. I fucking love incompetent consultants. Fucking love them. Good thing he never got hired...2 -
The more I work with performance, the less I like generated queries (incl. ORM-driven generators).
Like this other team came to me complaining that some query takes >3minutes to execute (an OLTP qry) and the HTTP timeout is 60 seconds, so.... there's a problem.
Sure, a simple explain analyze suggests that some UIDPK index is queried repeatedly for ~1M times (the qry plan was generated for 300k expected invocations), each Index Scan lasts for 0.15ms. So there you go.. Ofc I'd really like to see more decimal zeroes, rather than just 0.15, but still..
Rewriting the query with a CTE cut down the execution time to pathetic 0.04sec (40ms) w/o any loops in the plan.
I suggest that change to the team and I am responded a big fat NO - they cannot make any query changes since they don't have any control on their queries
....
*sigh*
....
*sigh*
but down to 0.04sec from 3+ minutes....
*sigh*
alright, let's try to VACUUM ANALYZE, although I doubt this will be of any help. IDK what I'll do if that doesn't change the execution plan :/ Prolly suggest finding a DBA (which they won't, as the client has no € for a DBA).
All this because developers, the very people sho should have COMPLETE control over the product's code, have no control over the SQLs.
This sucks!27 -
I dream of a chat bot that would read my Kanban/scrum boards and answer status queries for me.
Instead of spending 1h13mins (I measured) on average EACH AND EVERY DAY just telling people whatever is written on the story cards, the robot could tell them for me.
Maybe someone will suggest on the comments that people should just read by themselves on the story cards. Yeah, people will ask you where the toilet is while you are peeing on it. That is why we need robot nannies for professional adults.1 -
Me: ill use media queries to make our site responsive (site is not responsive before i got here)
Me: code ...
Me: code ...
Me: done, created a PR
Senior: review... removes all the code and media queries and said. We dont have to use media queries because bootstrap is already responsive.
- BULLSHIT! We still need media queries!!!!!27 -
Every time I think I've seen the worst there's someone to prove me wrong...
GRANT ALL ON ALL TABLES/SEQUENCES
To web user on production
if (x == 1) y = 1;
else y = x;
loop through a collection and get 'few' relations using ORM - 1000s of queries and not a single join - but don't worry, "The ITs will just add more RAM and some CPU cores to the server"
4th day off and I already miss this2 -
Colleague asked me to look at his eCommerce search filtering system as the customer was complaining it was slow taking 5-6 seconds to find results.
Delving into the code deeper, I discovered he was querying the results, sticking them in an array and then sub querying the results looking at all the combinations.
On top of that each sub query looked at the database fields using "DESCRIBE" to then search them each time it found a pair!
The total query count for one page search was 14,512!!!
Why oh Why? One SQL query could of done all that in one go.
I look at other code bits he's done and he's very good in other areas. I just don't get how sometimes a good developer can make such a weird decision? It's almost as if he wanted to make it as complex as possible.6 -
Mozilla will update the browser to DNS-over-HTTPS security feature to all Firefox users in the U.S. by default in the coming weeks.
According to the report of TechCrunch : Whenever you visit a website ; even if it's HTTPS enabled, the DNS query that converts the web address into an IP address that computers can read is usually unencrypted. DNS-over-HTTPS or DoH encrypts the request so that it can not be intercepted or hijacked in order to send a user to a malicious site. These unencrypted DNS queries can also be used to snoop on which websites a user visits. The feature relies on sending DNS queries to third-party providers such as Cloudflare and NextDNS which will have their DoH offering into Firefox and will process DoH queries. Mozilla also said it plans to expand to other DoH providers and regions.12 -
2nd rant this week on PHP PDO
PHP 💩:
PHP message: SQLSTATE[HY000]: General error: 2014 Cannot execute queries while other unbuffered queries are active. Consider using PDOStatement::fetchAll(). Alternatively, if your code is only ever going to run against mysql, you may enable query buffering by setting the PDO::MYSQL_ATTR_USE_BUFFERED_QUERY attribute
Me 🤬:
THATS WHAT I’M FUCKING USING. STOP FUCKING COMPLAINING. YOU DIDN’T LIKE THE FUCKING COLONS FOR YOUR FUCKING PARAMATETRS, NOW YOU HATE YOUR OWN FUCKING FETCHALL() METHOD YOU PEICE OF SHIT, AND YOU CAN’T HAVE ANY OTHER ACTIVE QUERIES AS IT’S THE FIRST FUCKING QUERY. ARRGHHH!!!!!
What the actual fuck is wrong with PDO. It bitches about everything 😡.8 -
First month of project we suggest that we test that Entity Framework has made reasonable DB queries because the system will need to handle a lot of records. “Not a priority in this sprint because we need features.” Devs try to get it into every sprint. The last week of the project they want us to dump in a ton of records so they can test it. The N+1 SELECT query issue is on main queries. It is so bad and slow with more records that a simple query causes the container management to auto scale the application on a single query. They can have max 8 users in the system at a time and it will take 10 seconds to do a simple page refresh.
They get on our case and we dredge up all of the correspondence where they completely ignored our advice. Fix it now! We need another sprint. Fix it free! No.11 -
<opinion>
You may be a prod ninja but I believe that every dev should have a decent level of exposure with a low level language(s). Sure you can make an HTTP server, do a sentimental analysis, topic modeling, set up multinode clusters, write ORM queries from dbs and all sorts of awesome stuffs with Python/Ruby/PHP/JS/GO etc but none of them teaches you what happens at kernel level. Things like memory leaks, threading, multiprocessing, memory allocations etc can only be better learnt from a low level language.
</opinion>
P.S. Not a C/C++ fanboy. I'm a python dev 😄5 -
You probably hate bootstrap and jQuery, as I do, but if you block CDN paths for these libraries, you'd probably never see the internet as it was intended.
Side note: web devs, please learn media queries, vm and em for font sizes, and etc. You really don't need complicated stuff, browsers already have your back, I promise.4 -
You may know I love to hate tests. Well not the tests actually, what I hate is the TDD culture.
DBMS schema in my app dictates a key can either have a value, or be omitted - it can't be null, and all queries are written with that in mind (also they're checked compile-time against schema). But tester failed to mock schema validation, inserted a bunch of null keys with mock data, actually wrote assertions to check those keys are null (even though they never should be), and wanted me to add "or null" to my "exists" queries.
No, we don't need more tests, and you're not smart with your "edge cases" argument. DBMS and compiler ensure those null values can never exists in our DB, and they're already well tested by their developers. We need you to stop relying on TDD so much you forget about the practical purpose of the code, and to occasionally break from the whole theoretical independent tests to make sure your testing actually aligns with third-party services some code uses.
And no, we don't need more tests to test your mocks, and tests to test those test, and yo dawg, I heard ...5 -
I made Skype Bot which queries the data using wsdl authentication on our ticketing tool and send the data whoever has requested in skype itself(without logging or touching the ticketing tool).
Manager: Is that even possible?
Me: (In excitement) Everything is possible if you have the will.
Now, He wants me to work on his pet project. I dont know how to react!4 -
I installed an ad blocker, less than three months ago, on my phone.
Experience has been great, but then I decided to check how many hosts it has blocked.
More than 100,000 queries blocked. All ads.
Seriously, what the hell? Why so many ads on the internet?10 -
Eloquent is so fucking slow, my (dead) grandma queries faster. It takes the fucking double of time on a simple query with only one join for maybe ~200 rows... From now on I go fucking back to raw SQL in my Laravel projects. 😤16
-
I had rough week last week. Accidentally deployed dev code to production, soon found out there was no production version of code to do a redeploy. Deployed another app to production, it was working fine then another Dev changed a data type in the database from bool to nullable Boolean which broke some Linq queries. Looked like I deployed crap code. 3rd week with company.
-
When I met her she was just plain html, I took my time and styled her with love, I never loved intruders so I kicked bootstrapCss outta the way,
made my custom queries, and with some vanilla JS she looked like the DOM of my dreams, but now our relationship has grown through the users(years) and things are becoming more object oriented and it feels like I'm no longer in control, first it started with jQuery and some Sass and maybe I thought we could get along, but then came React and his Routers and though they said they'll be partners, 😅😅
Now I know they ....
FEEL FREE TO GIVE THE PERFECT ENDING 😊1 -
At what point do you stop optimizing queries and realize it's a database architecture, scaling problem?
We've been having production issues this week because a lot more users with more demands, and I'm going we need more servers... We can't just have one db, we need to parallelize like Hadoop...
Everyone else is going, how do we optimize queries, indexes, reduce the load...11 -
Today a co-worker (I am going to call him 'boss') ask to another co-worker (I am goin to call it 'useless piece of shit' or 'ups') to explain to me a new task, becaus boss was to bussy with a new release for a client.
Idk how but ups managed to explain all wrong, like terribly wrong.
Ups: "Dev, all you have to do is fix some queries from local files"
Dev: "Ok, seems legit"
Try the local files, nothing happend
Dev: "weird... ups why this is happening?"
Ups: "I know the same as you, ask boss."
Dev: "boss this."
Boss: "what the actual what? ... this is all wrong. The config file is in mongo, in this IP, we don't use local files anymore. I tell ups to explain this to you so I can atay focused on this other task, but now I lost the double amount of time"
Dev: "oh... sorry, I will fix the remote queries"
I hate ups, every fucking time soneone need something from him this happend or worst...1 -
Big company asking me about query optimization during a DEV position interview... Do you really have no one better than me to optimize your queries?
I'm really afraid of your codebase now... Might decline if I pass...7 -
Gmail: We will be supporting css media queries from now on.
Users: Bitch please, we still use Outlook as our default email app.2 -
My former senior developer thought that including script tags for each JavaScript function you write is efficient. For example: contact function will have contact.js, vacancy function will have vacancy.js. FYI he doesn't merge them in production. What's more shocking was that my project manager thought was the same.
This also applies to CSS when using media queries.3 -
This rant is your playground for devrant-related chatgpt bot queries. You will still be judged for posting your queries here, but slightly less than in other rants.238
-
If you think parametised queries will save the day think again.
I occasionally test sites I visit throwing a few quotes at inputs and query params.
I also always test logging in as % with user or pass.
Not only are plaintext passwords a thing but so is this:
WHERE username LIKE ? AND password LIKE ?.
Once I saw an OR.7 -
I've implemented an in memory caching system for database queries with Redis in one of the blogs I manage.
Will it work well? Or do you think it will produce issues? I have no experience with Redis yet.14 -
i started a project a couple months ago and i used ORM for the queries, cause it's already implemented. thing is, this project came directly from hell and the math is stupid af. it requires subqueries in subqueries and the data that was provided is trash. I'm giving up on the ORM, it's not scalable.
-
Another gem from the cunt I used to call my senior.
.nav-tabs > li > a, .nav-tabs > li > a, .nav-tabs > li > a { font-size: 7pt !important; line-height: 30px !important; font-weight: normal !important; }
.nav-tabs > li > a, .nav-tabs > li > a, .nav-tabs > li > a { font-size: 6pt !important; }
.nav-tabs > li > a, .nav-tabs > li > a, .nav-tabs > li > a { font-size: 7pt !important; }
These are all on the same level (not in media queries) and only a couple of other lines of css between them.
I swear this jackass just wanted to watch the world burn.5 -
I like to live on the edge ;)
But seriously, i should fix this. The load is usually around 200 - 5k queries / s
3 -
When you have sextuply-nested sub queries, can we at least acknowledge the POSSIBILITY that there MIGHT be a better way??1
-
Customer: "There are only 'X' values in COLUMN_D, your - report - import is wrong!"
Me: select count(*) from table_a where column_d is not in ('X') -> returns more than a thousand... Yeah please only scroll within a couple hundreds of records in your shitty sql client gui without making queries. Fuckhead. -
1st post of a series, which I might start called wolkes weird api queries.
Today we have a user that was looking for "big bobs"
3 -
The ticket system blokes - episode 3
So we always had and have very awful performance with our ticket system. You can't get anything to load in under ~4s normally. Now since it has gotten worse over the last weeks i decided to set aside a few hours to closely watch our SQL server.
After i identified a culprit that was hogging the CPU almost every 2 minutes i looked at other long running queries in the server and found out where exactly the 4s come from.
6 tables from various DBs. Sure, no problem.
Left Outer Join. Sure, why not.
Querying every fucking column in every fucking table explicitly adding up to a whopping 160 columns which they need not even 10% of. We're talking about session IDs, passwords, stock count, IBANs and all that stuff to show the work done on a ticket. Absolutely not.
So i extracted the query and reduced it to the stuff we need and the execution time went from 4 seconds to almost instant.
The funny thing is that their idea of performance optimization is throwing LIMIT around everywhere to get these monstrous queries under control.
So in the next few days I'll have an appointment with their lead programmer. I'm looking forwards to it.
So out of curiosity: does anyone know an SQL builder or toolset that does shit like
SELECT X AS [t0_c0],
SELECT Y AS [t0_c1],
SELECT Z AS [t1_c0],
and so on? I'd like to know how they got to this point.4 -
do know that feeling when your dreaming of just getting away for some days? I could use some of your help to get away.
In europe there is this long distance ridesharing app called www.blablacar.com but it only allows you to search for destinations you know. So I'd love to know to where there is a rideshare on that given day from my hometown.
FROM_MYCITY TO * [ALL DESTINATIONS] ON DAY
Could someone please write me a small quick and dirty piece of software / script or webapp that let me query and list that?
Blablacar API wraper
https://github.com/ojathelonius/...
Blablacar API Key
https://dev.blablacar.com/hc/en-us/...-
Thank you! you my hero!
3 -
I thought I'd seen the worst possible code.
Until I saw this stored procedure. It was forming a string of JSON by concatenation of double quotes and queries in between.
No wonder it took upwards of 200 seconds to insert just one record.2 -
Today salesmen gave me some recommendations about my "so hardly optimized" SQL queries..suggestin me to change em.. I said okay, let's execute these.. 10 hours later, their computers sql workbenches finally displayed the fucking first one.
Result: 0 row... 🤐2 -
Hello not a rant,
Are there MS SQL Server admins here who self taught and learn thru self study?
I work in a company where they use MS SQL Server as the database. I would love to 'understand' how to write efficient queries, and how things really work, not just selecting and joining table blindly and not understanding how things work.
Would you recommend how you understand MS SQL Server, or what learning path you took?
Thank you. I would appreciate any suggestions and comments.10 -
Today is SQL day.
Been some time since I had to go here, the queries are flooding back to my mind like water over a dam wall. How the heck I remembered these is what I pondered.
Oh well, back to SQL (at a client - yay).
Now you SQL me, now you don't. -
Every time I see the N+1 query problem in people's implementation, I feel like crying. Especially when it's dealing with large data sets of something like 1000 records.2
-
I fucking suck at SQL and that's hurting my performance as a supposed backend developer :D
All the cool nested queries and whatnot, it just flies over my head, I need to learn it better, any tips on study resources?6 -
Worst week ever.
Servers are on fire. Respoinse times out of control
Some SIMPLE SQL queries (literaly select * from whatever where Id = id) timouts at 30 seconds.
No idea what's goining on (And I have full logs of all api calls and all DB queries). No way to find how to corelate this data.
Ok, I added 1000$/month on Azure and the problem is "masked", but not resolved.
I have dumps, I have logs I have everything, why the fuck I can't find the 1 or 2 APIs causing that ?!!!
Now I feel better.10 -
I've been writing SQL queries for almost 19 years now. At this point I've done more right outer joins in job interviews than I've actually needed to do in real life. Why is this such a common interview question?7
-
To all the people who complain about writing a delete or update query. Not to talk you down, but seriously. STOP WRITING RAW QUERIES AND USE AN ORM!9
-
I had six items that I wanted to centre horizontally via CSS. Problem was that depending on the viewport width, the items could either take one, two, three or six lines. But the items broke to the next line like text so that e.g. the top line had five items and the second only one. What I wanted was three items each in this case.
Finally, I came up with a hack of media queries to make the parent container just so wide that six, three, two or one item would fit horizontally, and then centre the parent container with margin left/right auto.1 -
So my Database professor decided that we should design a database with like 4 tables and hundreds of records and we had to write like 100 queries to produce a specific output from the tables we designed. All in less than a week. This is the first time I'm learning about databases, mind you.5
-
Man... I hate refactoring. After I had finished up an issue this morning, I had to refactor old sql queries and the parsing to the views.
I've worked on it all day and I still haven't finished! Still loving my job, tasks like these are unavoidable but they drain the life out of me.3 -
Story time... (Not long though)
My current employment status is quite strange. Basically I'm a freelancer. My former boss asked me to throw a half paid job and include three days worth of work for free just because it would be convenient.
When I told him no way - he was very uppset and offended and told me how disappointed he was.
Lesson learned: If you work for free and offer to "help" someone out, it will mostly lead to more queries for free of charge gigs. Don't do it like I did. Fuck that shit, thanks for appreciating my effort.1 -
Using Oracle ADF along with ADF Faces to build a simple learning management system. No JavaScript, no external stylesheets, all inline styles, no client side validation, doing form submit for every field's onblur event triggering a server-side validation, creating a VO for every damn page requiring data, creating an EO for every DB table or view, adding big-ass custom queries for most EOs to join on multiple tables, frequent N+1 queries, etc.,
Idont remember the rest of the problems5 -
This story was related to me while I was in university.
So a long time ago, (in a galaxy far far away). This student was working as an intern at some tech company. He was running some queries, everything was fine. He decides that's good enough and heads for lunch.
When he comes back the query does not work. He notices the others around him start to stand up asking if anyone has a connection.
Turns out that an intern, at another building, basically deleted everything. I'm guessing they did not add this internship to their resume. -
Life of an Oracle Developer ... Day {I've lost bloody count now}
Task: Optimise a 236 line cursor consisting of 7 SQL SELECTS and unions, 39 joins and nested sub queries galore.
"YAYYY" said no one ever ...3 -
Spent my sunday coding AMZ Hot Searches, a visualizer for trending Amazon search queries, inspired by Google Hot Searches. Will host it on a server soon. Feels good :)
1 -
My dumbfuck hosting fucked up the mysqlnd installation and it is missing the pdo api extension. All my queries are returning strings for every field. It's easter so no support available. I've planned to deploy the new site in this weekend. Now i have to manually typecast after every query because i've used === everywhere. This will be a long day...6
-
A year ago i made a binary which very quickly checks all stuff we normally check on customers PCs manually via a few WMI queries.
It worked well on 3 dev machines, so i went to my department lead, told him to execute it and the fucking thing just spews WMI errors left and right.
Even though it showed us that some very low level stuff in his Windows installation was broken it was just embarrassing as hell.
Shortly after I had all checks fitted with a secondary method in case WMI fails.5 -
Got some Freelance work(PHP) via my friend so i said ok lets see. Those were some college students and wanted their project to be deployed that their seniors built and none of them knew how to fix the issues so here i step in.
Nightmare of a design, no signs of framework, html/css looks like it was designed by a 10th grader, no prepared queries, every file uses db config seperately so a minor change would require me to edit those 50+ php files... overall a broken mess. FML.5 -
Tired of chasing an elusive architecture and finding good community that helps promote it. Basically:
- Not CRUD
- Not MVC
- More like CQRS; commands and queries represent use cases
- Event Sourced; event log is source of truth, everything else is a cached projection
- Functional Domain Design; not DDD; focus on immutability and simplicity
- Functional in general; less OO
- More focus on domain concepts rather than tech concepts
- Domain can be used through CLI, API, or SDK
- UI is just another client to the API
- Authorization is ABAC, graph-based access control
I'm looking for a fucking unicorn.10 -
I don't care if you're a Senior Developer. You just make me look dumb adjusting to your needs of not normalizing your database queries.
We agreed that a restaurant can have many items, but instead, I get "an item has many restaurants" relationship. Geez.2 -
Moved to a totally new city to start a new job, thought it'll be amazing as the company is good. Came and saw a bunch of motherfuking smokers who smoke at the main gate of the office, the HR does not respond to my queries, doesn't have time to interact with a new recruit, and I have still got no company mail or email id. And oh, I have the entire GitHub access and the android code cloned on MY PERSONAL COMPUTER, the rights to which were given by the CTO himself.
Guess what, time to say bye to this shit. I'm moving back.3 -
AMQ cluster is misbehaving.. Master is constantly dying, slave is starting under root rather than app account, connection to AMQ DB takes 20-40 seconds (while queries execute in <0.1sec and TCP probe takes <0.01sec to succeed), monitoring is down,...
I mean it's gotta be the virus - what else could it be.2 -
I have a few projects on the go at work at the moment which could be successful, but only time will tell:
1. We have a requirement to monitor or SQL servers for any long running queries (anything that runs longer than 3 minutes). Company didn’t want to pay for enterprise grade solution so as the only SQL Developer I created a small system that involves a database, 2 tables a stored procedure and scheduled job. It goes off every 10 minutes queries some system tables etc and write the results to the tables. Still waiting for it to be deployed to one of the test servers. I have plans for a web front end in the future.
2. My company currently use source safe for version control. They’ve lost the admin password so only 1 person can log in. I’m running he project to plan the migration to GitLab. It’s getting close to completion and soon someone is going to be tasked with creating 100s or projects etc.
3. We use an ERP system which is huge with thousands of tables, but no FKs or anything like that. The current data dictionary is a spreadsheet, as a side project I’m creating a web app so that this information is easily available and searchable.
All 3 projects have the potential to be successful, for my team at least, but stuck waiting for other people to do their stuff first. -
polymorphic relationships are fucking stupid. it's a great way to make your shit more complex and less maintainable for no benefit other than having 1 less table (which also makes queries slower since they can't be optimized correctly).3
-
Google: "We're sorry... but your computer or network may be sending automated queries. To protect our users, we can't process your request right now."
Despite all of their efforts towards so-called artificial "intelligence" and "I am not a robot", they are still not even able to distinguish a script from human rage clicking?!
I will be so glad when Google and their services will be history. Like with Whatsapp and the other Silicon Valley crap, intelligent people are practically forced to use bullshit software just because it got so popular that "everybody else" is using it.8 -
" Under the hood... the program is using a mix of condition-based learning, procedural generation of sentences/questions, and relational queries based on weighted 'topic' identifiers. It can create its own original statements and questions. It is real-time, and it really does 'think' (an internal dialogue feedback loop)." = If Statement
I saw this in the description for an app aclled "Real AI" -
Knew Android Studio Emulator was heavy but didn’t know it can take more than 6 PetaByte (~6,000,000 GB).🤣 Are they preparing it to run big-data queries on emulator.
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Dumbf*** network guy in my company doesn't know that customer portal has database and you run queries to get the data.
So pissed off that anyone can do fing CCNA and qualify to work in IT these days
Also stupid company for having a web based database -
I haven't touched my OpenVPN server configuration in almost a year. Everything seemed to "just work" the way I wanted it.
I have now just found out that all ipv6 DNS queries were actually going to the wrong ip.
Why am I such a magnet for stupid shit like this?
Every time I try to do something beautiful, elaborate, complex, I always get some small shitty detail wrong.
It's like "close, but no cigar".
Every.
Single.
Time.
Sigh
Bonus fun fact: I only found out thanks to Windows' DNS leak feature. Thanks, Windows!5 -
I just spent about 30h desperately trying to figure out why my Qradar API queries were not working while running in docker, but somehow worked when running locally. I was just minimally stressed because it's my bachelor thesis, which I need to turn in in 3 weeks and this basically nuked my whole planning.
So apparently docker requires you to set your own timezone, so my API queries were always querying data from an hour early, when the requested data did not exist yet....
It's 3PM and I need a drink, or maybe 101 -
was working on a project once where we needed a database mapping to some c# code
tasked one of our less experienced guys on it to maybe give him some experience
now I'm assuming most people here who have worked in .NET for a reasonable amount of time know about entity framework, and I did tell the guy about it.
three days after giving him that task he comes up to me smiling and says he's done
great! what did he do? he wrote the database mapping from scratch using hard coded SQL queries using lists to chain queries together in a sea of if-else statements...
let's just say the code broke down and needed last minute fixing when it was time to present it2 -
What's your thoughts on stored procedures(of DBs)?
What are the pros and the cost you found or perceived?
When they are opportune?
Overusing them more than a programming language is an abuse?
I was introduced to a software started initially by economy\finance people which knew a little bit programming, nonetheless their doing became messy though time and at a certain point hired a team of 4 people(from my company) to deal with it, but the approach of the two programmers to build most of the framework on calling stored procedures or queries makes me want to puke, there are almost no layers of separation of concern in place x_x3 -
Updating 4K rows in a table with 4M using Libreoffice Calc to generate the queries.
I know, it's not the best solution, but I'm afraid of the single query solution.
Please, forgive me.
3 -
I looked at an SQL server today from a customer, talked with one of their devs and he said that he's unable to understand why the server misbehaves... All (!) queries were optimized, but they have 'big data queries'... Migraine started, I had a very bad feeling. Monitoring? Nooooppeeee. Migraine kicks in. Connected to server. SHOW GLOBAL VARIABLES...
After a bit of scrolling I found a lot of misconfigured variables (e.g. extreme large join buffers, unrealistic buffer sizes), high slow query count (nearly 60 % of COM_SELECT) and a few variables that were unknown to me.
Then came the version line.
5.0.46
Yes. 5.0.46.
Big data? Well... 30 GB of usage data.
I called the company back... The dev told me sternly that this was the production server (I had hope...) and that I lie - neither the version, nor the variables could be the problem.
A coworker had to verify it and our manager had to do the communication... Worst, most traumatic working day I ever had. -
I want to talk about media queries.
THERE ARE SO MANY FUCKING VIEWPORTS TO SUPPORT.
Seriously, why hasn't this shit been standardised; why does every new device *have* to be different dimensions from the rest?
Couldn't we have a S, M and LG scale for mobile, tablet and desktop????
Then we've got the fucking pleasure of DPR, as if it wasn't hard enough to be comprehensive for your shitty iPhone 5s.
Fuck you.4 -
The company I work in had to build a software that establishes a connection to a MySQL database running on an external server. It doesn't work for the client company because the firewall is very restrictive and only lets through connections on port 80, so we had to build a fucking http server that forwards SQL queries to the MySQL server and returns the result. This is so horrible!
(Running MySQL on port 80 isn't an option as any other connection type than http is blocked by the firewall)8 -
We were looking at the screen confused as to why the SolR queries that weren't working a day before were suddenly working.
Being the troll I am, I mentioned that maybe the little elves that live in little shoes came around and fixed it.
The other guy looked me dead in the eyes and mentioned "But there was no commit message."
We burst out laughing. -
VI is awesome!! It can open big files wtih no stress and performs queries really fast. The engine is very well designed and optimized but not the interface.2
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Im tasked to investigate a stored proc that is slow at certain times ( 20-30mins ) and fast at other times ( 10-15 secs ).
After following suggestions i found out that adding NOLOCK hint on all the select queries makes the execution time fast ( 10-20 secs) .
Although i know that adding NOLOCK means a dirty read of possible incorrect data, does it justify the performance boost?
Speed or data correctness?4 -
Two senior developers were baffled at why their Web application built using sql server wouldn't just instantly work using sqlite... The Web application uses some pretty advanced queries and ORM.1
-
Recommendation for mobile css queries?
I want to use one or two queries. Not more. And I find lists of way too many.
Is there a guide that covers like.. two? Two additional widths you should design? How do you do responsive webdesign?5 -
The moment when you realize that you have to at least double your media queries to guarantee a good result for that little element at the end of your page that no one really needs... :^(1
-
Spent 2 days optimizing SQL queries, and then I learned a valuable lesson.
If your database size is bigger than the RAM of the machine it’s running on, every query will take 5+ seconds ☹️4 -
www.askyourmom.com”ur earphones, put on some really good NCS music, keep a note on your workspace stating: “Currently coding. Please fuck off. For further queries log on to: www.askyourmom.com”
And starting coding. ✌🏻5 -
When I run tests, I like to enable the debug logging. All the SQL queries and template tracing just flies by. Freaks the others out.
-
GraphQL is the worst "invention" ever, it is more effort to create the fucking queries including nesting, references, variables etc. FUCK THIS SHIT.
This is just another one of these "oooouuuuu look at us wE UsE GrAPHql!11!!" bullshit things that make daily work sucky. Thanks Facebook (fuck you too).13 -
"Let's join two views and create a custom column that acts as a primary key so that other tables can treat it like a foreign key" said no dev ever.
Or at least I had thought that until today when I started figuring out why our queries are so goddamn slow. I hate the previous devs so much.3 -
RavenDB was by far the worst document storage "solution" I have ever had the displeasure of working with.
- Loading data crashed the service.
- Queries crashed the service.
- Monitoring applications crashed the service.
- It didn't support clustering or HA of any kind.
- Sometimes it just worked for no good reason.
- Often it broke for completely random reasons.11 -
So there's azure data studio, shiny! nice!
Oh hey, wow, an Oracle extension! Great!! Now I can use one tool for all my database queries!
But wait...
Below is the list of current limitations:
- Server management and dashboard are not supported
- Packaged objects are not supported
- Table data preview/editing is not supported
- Query execution is not supported
So you're telling me that you can connect and... that's it?
What's the point? Why??
That's like saying: Here's a toaster. But here's the thing's you *can't* do:
- Toast bread
But at least you can look at it. Seriously, what the ****.6 -
I never want to do another SSRS report ever again... It’s mind numbing and tedious and crashes visual studio more than it builds. And yet, there are always more to do. Always... I swear I’m going to drown in all the paper. Queries aren’t bad but seriously, can’t go an hour without something crashing itself.
-
Everybody is bussy!
So let's going to give this mess to the one who never worked with mongo, does not know the objects in the DDBB, add to it some weird way to build queries in java to it and hope for everithing end well!
End well = need to be done today.
Guess what? Not for today! I have no clue of how to clean this shit.1 -
You're kidding. You know how React, GraphQl, and Jest are made by facebook. You would think that Jest then would be framework of choice for mocking gql queries and responses for a React app. And you would be wrong. You "can, but-", depending on your implementation - ours being based on official sources - not without contorting and duplicating everything related to the query implementation at which you are barely even testing the app itself. We're using named imports from .gql files, for those familiar.
Don't you hate it when it turns out the guy going "nah tests were too hard, we didn't bother" was right.3 -
LINQ queries or stored procedures? I prefer LINQ.
My boss says, if we are using LINQ we must be lazy and stupid.
What do you'll think?7 -
So my job is now starting to spin back around towards more development styles roles.
Currently I am in the process of learning about an internal Asp.Net app for managing invoicing.
A .net core app to manage changes to rate card prices.
And a small python app which runs 40+ sql queries and writes the results to a spreadsheet.
This is the jest time I’ve used python, and I have to say I really like it2 -
I need some help people. Need a good tutorial to understand Bootstrap grid and responsive framework. I have always worked on Media queries before. Couldn't find a good tutorial.11
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Handy postgres script for those on teams with folks who maybe don't write the best queries...
`SELECT pg_terminate_backend(pid) FROM pg_catalog.pg_stat_activity WHERE query_start < now() - interval '3 minutes'`
Pew pew... -
How do you feel when you built like 90% of a project, all the main logic and then you hang out over to another dev to basically clean it up for you?
Like optimize some queries, build the frontend, test it with the users.5 -
The CloudWatch API is an awkward piece of shit.
No convenient way to just ask for the latest value of a metric. Gotta supply a time window and hope metrics were actually reported within that window.
Oh and make sure your timestamps are in ISO 8601 or the request will fail (but the SDK does zero validation so a unit test won’t catch it of course).
Oh and you have to assign an arbitrary ID to each metric query in your request even if you don’t care about mapping the results back to the queries. And the regex for the ID is just fussy enough to be mildly irritating.1 -
In MSSQL, can SELECT JOIN (SELECT ...) queries actually end up using disk space rather just RAM?
I ran one of those last week and now am wondering if that's the root cause of a huge DB file with a lot of unallocated space.
Seems it may just use an existing DB file and expand it (without cleaning it up afterwards) but not sure...
Any ideas on how so this works and well show to make it so disk space used for queries get cleaned up properly or easier to just shrink or remove without touching the DB file there's actually used for persistence?8 -
Damn, I'm conducting some benchmarks on go and php...
A php page that simply returns "hi" with no framework is a lot slower than 1000 calls with 200 concurrency to a go function that queries redis and returns a json.1 -
On the newer side of web development. Using CSS Grid with some flexbox. Any idea on why my 768px media query styles are overwriting my 320px styles?
I was breaking into modules but moved everything to a single css file until I figure out what causes the issue. The mobile styles are at top and I started the medium breakpoint below the initial styles.
Designed it mobile first if that makes a difference. Should the media queries be nested?13 -
When the server is unable to process my queries just because of memory allocations capacity. Should i adjust with my codes, or the server itself? This happens to me all the time2
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There are so many.. but probably my worst was when I was building this project and optimizing it for mobile but for some reason when in mobile view, there was a slight white line on the right side when swiping right or zooming out (shouldnt be able to zoom out either).. checked all the media queries and viewport code and everything was normal so it drove me crazy for a few hours. Turns out, I had 1 little element slightly wider than the viewport but you couldnt tell by looking at it xD fixed the css, but still so frustrating.1
-
Today I got a change request that told me I needed to create a report showing orders broken down by their order types as percentages.
Now the order types part involve SQL queries that translate business rules into multiple table joins and it's quite nasty (200 + lines or so).
Naturally the change request doesn't mention any of these business rules and how to tell that orders are of a specific type... but alas!
It teaches me how to calculate a percentage :)
... like "10 / 100 * 100 = 10%"
I don't know whether to laugh or feel insulted.2 -
what are some of your thoughs on GraphQL?. I Recently made a side project using it and it was not bad. I just think that GraphQL pays off if you're going to build something highly connected and your queries are very unpredictable (like a social network). Developing new features/endpoints is a bit slower than a rest api and that is a deal breaker for me. But it's ok6
-
fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, FUCK
second day I can't configure the stupid pass for mysql root...
I got in, executing maybe 3 diff queries and all seems good, but when I try to use it, nope, is not that
I had to be done already w/ the assignment and here I am still configuring...10 -
Holy shit! Why is it so hard to find a JSON viewer for android that doesn't absolutely suck ass?
I want a viewer that:
-reads json from the clipboard
-queries json for strings in context
-allows copying of values, not the key and the value put together
Major bonus points:
-JSONPath querying
-Free/pay version without ads7 -
When you end up running support queries and QA as a developer because the client's on site support team blame the provider instead of their half-assed user configuration job. #IHopeYouGetFiredAssholes
-
Definitly Unsplash' API! Being able to pull down images with specific sizes matching my criteria, or specific categories/search queries from a massive library have been useful on many occasions!
Quick filler images to test your website, booting up to a new wallpaper each morning... The list goes on! -
In today's episode of "Am I paranoid already?" - Caching Bind resolver forwarding queries to a DoH client connecting to Cloudflare
A fun little thing to configure, and now, anytime I am on my VPN, all my DNS traffic should be completely untrackable.
Does that make me paranoid? Maybe a little... But, the knowledge that noone - not even my ISP, can see what I am doing on the internet, is kinda... Heartarming.
Now, all that's left, is for eSNI to roll out and get implemented by all major web browsers, and most snooping will be completely done for...4 -
Fuck encoding and fuck PHP!!!
I'm programming a little vocab trainer to get used to php and MySQL. From an old VB vocab trainer I had ca. 2000 txt-files with words and converted them to sql-queries with a simple python script. When SELECTING words with special characters they become encoded properly. But if I UPDATE words their encoding is just fucked up... The table is utf-8 encoded all the columns are utf-8 encoded. The php mysqli connection is utf-8 encoded. My HTML header is utf-8... WTF? -
I had a discussion - no, it was more a lobotomy - with one of our "experts"
I was kinda confused, as he had several grafana tabs open and an query editor...
He explained to me that he debugs and optimizes his query based on the grafana data....
Elasticsearch cluster with several hundred, different indices, > 20 TB data
I explained to him the scrape interval of 5secs, that he cannot distinguish his query from other queries, that there is far too much of an interference... Let alone that a 5 sec scrape interval is a very loooong time.....
Nope. It makes perfect sense to him and he'll continue to work like this. -
By implementing proper eager loading in Eloquent, based on a sample request, I reduced it from 850 DB queries down to just 14 DB queries. So that's an increase in 98% performance?
-
Was feeling over-confident one day, wrote a delete query and pushed to production without double checking it.
Turns out the where clause always returned true and deleted all rows in the production table.
Mind you, from that day onwards I'm using update queries instead of delete.. -
> me: trying to explain to a dev from one of our customers why should they worry about sql injection in their application -which by the way is public- since they always concatenate params (even giving concrete examples in their app on how could I gain acces to their database with just a couple of queries)
> me: (thinking) Did I change my bed with a time machine by accident and got myself into the past?
Do these things happen often to you? (U_U||) -
1. O(n)
2. Container queries
3. Supercomputer with a bunch of GPUs/TPUs running for free (solar, wind power)
Genuinely thanks! -
Le dev and le me (continued)
So le manager decides to talk to both le me and le dev so we can sort things out.
Le dev than says: "I think we shouldn't refactor things just to make them prettier." (Very passive-aggressively talking about me.)
Then goes on and implements a custom permission handler that performs several queries to the database to determine if a user should be able to change an object.
And all le me wanted was to use groups... -
In Postgres, parallel query works by having multiple workers....
As such, depending on workers available, queries can run theoretically fast (workers available) or slow (workers not available) - right?
Question is: are there more optimizations like this... And is my assumption correct?
It seems like a major pain in the ass... Scalability and reliability wise. (?!)8 -
A question to all software security specialists of devRant. Please, take it serious.
Is it fundamentally possible to restrict a SQL database like Postgres in a way that unintended SQL queries are impossible to execute? Perhaps in some kind of whitelist fashion. Is it possible to achieve the kind of security that will be just fine exposed to the outside world akin to "SQL queries in onClick handlers" scenario?
Or is this an uphill battle of never being able to moderate an infinite set of possible fraudulent queries?5 -
The joys of finding out two days after going live with your new site, that somehow you used a backup table of the old site, from 6 fucking months before, to serve as a base for migration.
So you have to write hundreds of lines of queries by hand, to ensure that the old data still fits into your migrated data, and also keep the changes made in these two days.1 -
I always forget it's a bad idea to run queries in an "edit table" view in SSMS. Just blew up my table cause it decided to add an unwanted cross join in my update statement.
Ran it in a fresh query window and it worked fine. -
So they develop this app. That uses our front end component library. That queries a GraphQL layer developed as NPM package. That uses a data service abstraction NPM package. That uses another NPM package mapper library. That queries an old REST API returning XML.
It takes days to make a newly added XML node in the bottom-most layer available in the app, requiring changes to 4 repositories and 3 NPM releases.
Refactoring is dead, because 1 change will affect all layers. And the worst part is: theres only 1 app using these packages, so no case for re-use. Overzealous separation of concerns I guess?2 -
Comment in our code, followed by 3 identical SQL queries with only the table name different (Admin, regular user, old regular user).
Then we duplicated the entire project as it being a contract first webservice prevented us from changing it's signature to accommodate the needs of a new application.
2 -
I ngl miss the thrill of high-performance computing. Or more precise would be where the program's running was directly affected by what I did.
Ever since career took the applications/apps/backend route, i try to optimise but ik it's useless.
The c#/.net would anyway make its own changes, Im not allowed to write direct SQL queries and index-powered joins coz "EF will handle it". Any JS/TS is recreated by Node
Thats how work be but kinda saddening2 -
Is there some sort of Query Builder for ElasticSearch?
I have ELK setup and in Kibana can generate all the aggregation visualizations but now I want the data to be usable in a program so it can generate reports like who are our top users.
But the aggregation queries seem to be very verbose... not sure how anyone can generate or understand it by hand vs telling Kibana I want a chart with X and Y axes using these terms.
IDeally I'd like to have Kibana then tell me what's the actual JSON/Elastic query it used to generate that but can't seem to find something like that.1 -
Why is the prettus repository package shit at handling mass inserts. The documentation says:
$this->repository->create(Input::all())
WTF does that even mean.3 -
Writing a script which runs every 5 - 10 mins that runs 10 sub tasks, where each sub task sends 3 HTTP requests to my company's API and also performs at least 3 database queries.
The best part? I'm told to use PHP / Laravel to do it.5 -
That would be the !important rule, when the client wants some ui change but the stupid library has !important rule applied.. and also the media queries in combination with width/height and percentages, trying to adapt the ui because the client ones ie8 support..
-
When AppSync subscription payloads are defined by the initiating mutation instead of what I ASKED for, and filtering only works when the initiating mutation specifically queries for that field in the respond payload that it doesn't even need.
-
1) DevGoogle - Google but all queries assume programming sense of query. Also option to add preferred language(s)
2) a universal file system so that my pen drive works on all devices
3) Firewall filter unblocks my personal domain (currently classified as 'Newly Observed Domain') -
my first project was a star trek themed text based rpg adventure. it was a hell of spaghetti of if queries and gotos in gw basic. later these kind of things got something like an ui.
my first experience was my father doing mandelbrot sets from a magazine and i was watching building them up green pixel for greenpixel on an 8086 pc. it was raining outside and i was sitting in an arm chair with a warm blanket. this cozy feeling remains until today and might explain my personal attachment for this topic.
fortunately his failed attempt to introduce me into programming doing a morsecode translator did not stop me for long. -
The joy of ops - when the customer says "my reporting environment isn't fast enough - can I get my reports from the production environment?" and we've specifically created the reporting environment for insulating the system from performance-hogging queries...
-
I just like bulding silly things, my ideal devjob would be one where I could just make random junk that makes me smile all day...
Like recently I made an NoSQL database using azure AD. They give you 50000 AD objects free, but I found you could encode all sorts of data in the AD objects variables. So basically I setup a framework that uses Security groups as Collections, AD objects as Documents, and object variables as key pairs.
It's really slow, like roughly 50 queries a minute, but hey. It was fun proving it could be done...
Yeah, that would be my ideal devjob :P that kind of stuff all day2 -
I'm I the only programmer who writes functions and queries?.. Most of my tasks revolve around that ,I'm a back-end guy 😂 😂3
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Hi guys..
Any tips for good practices of @media queries for responsive design (portrait and landscape) ?9 -
Are CSS media queries very messy or am I just incompetent? Does anyone have any alternatives to it?
I find it very hard to make decent responsible pages. They either look awful or their source code is just a disgusting mess.6 -
That lovely moment, when I have to spend an hour on mail delivery issue, only to find out the message was flagged as spam due to a faulty dns blacklist.
Though the way it got flagged is idiotic and funny at the same time, too.
The blacklist domain got parked, dunno why, and of course, all of the dns queries thus got redirected to a different dns server that just returned the A records of the dns park owners.
Guess what that causes when you use that blacklist? Every single email gets flagged, including that one of ours that I had to debug.
Fml, an hour of overtime for a stupid malfunctioning blacklist... -
When I see job adverts asking for SQL skills it really puts me off. After seeing how database migrations and eloquent in Laravel work I don't know why anyone would write SQL queries again!8
-
For Ramda (functional JavaScript) enthusiasts -
Anybody, who wishes to collaborate on writing Ramda solutions for SQL like queries, I have created the project (SQL queries, SQLite database, json data files) here - Ramda-SQL-Equivalent GitHub project (https://github.com/ajit555/...).
Please post the questions in "Issues" section and hopefully would get some solutions via pull request.
If not sending pull request, please post the solutions as issues referencing the file name.
Thanks. -
So glad I decided to use Spring Boot... Love it's bean configuration for dependency injections... Also love the RowMapper interface that's used with the JdbcTemplate. No more redundant Exception handling over and over again and I can still get close to the metal with writing my own queries. DOPE.
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A Retrofit 2 converter library for GraphQL. Now we can simply do graphql queries over rest by writing less lines of code.
Checkout the git repo https://t.co/8cGsD3gM6T and my medium article. https://medium.com/@ramkishorevit/....1 -
Mongoose: Callbacks VS Promises? Opinions and reasons please.
I'm trying to update array of data which involves couple queries.. Best practices?9 -
!rant
I am building a side project to build a recommendation system for research papers. Since it's my first attempt, any tips? Also, my plan is to get it in the cloud, build a separate webpage to summon data from it. Honestly, most of it is three-fourths imagination, one-fourth google queries. The cloud idea is solely to provide it means to train real time.
I plan on using Python for this, other than the html/css frontend.
As someone who is very new to such a project, what should I know before I start?
Thanks,
S.3 -
Working on a project (auction website) with a group, one of them described himself as an experienced web developer (both front and back end). Two weeks into the project, he won't shut up about using Bootstrap and how great it is (even tho we decided on not using it); fucks up even the simplest queries and doesn't know any OOPHP. Needless to say, he got kicked pretty soon and after making some nonsensical threats to the group members we never heard of him again. Or so we hope.5
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Just a question about a generic social app. Using mongodb , 3 entities ,like comment and post . how do I display posts in feeds with comment count and like count . since its mongodb I can't do joins . the other way is to maintain a data structure on the server side . or yet another way would be making 2 extra queries to db for retrieving like and comments count . Any other way this is possible or is it possible to form a query in mongo db to retrieve all 3 at the same time???1
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Is it just me, or are Laravel model queries super slow, especially when you're loading relationships?8
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Wish i could lock portrait mode for website im building. Fucking media queries coming out of my arse.
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So i was writing sql query and every time i was getting "data type mismatch error."
In frustrations i slammed the table and went outside for some fresh air.
After 15 minutes i came back and runs the query again. Voila, it is working now.
My god these queries burned half of my blood today. LOL. 😁1 -
In addition to being able to lookup DNS queries over Twitter, telegram (even literal ones), devRant, HTTP(s), TLS and even the DNS protocol itself - Cloudflare will now offer DNS-over-HAM in London.
Sources:
- Heise Online (German): https://heise.de/newsticker/...
- Original Tweet: https://mobile.twitter.com/jgrahamc...1 -
A RxJS wrapper for MySQL queries.
https://github.com/inf3cti0n95/...
If anyone has any suggestions/reviews for it.1 -
Why SQL, why???
I have a proc I need to modify so I add a select into it. Drop the proc and recreate it, run it, new select not giving results.
Modify the select to inverse filter to see what I do have, recreate the proc, run it, still no results...
Run four different cache cleaning queries, still no results from the new select...
Add a "select 1" before the new select, recreate and run the proc and now I have the new 1 and also the other select now has results...
Change the filters back, still getting same results...
Remove the select 1, no results...
What kind of devil cache is this?5 -
When I normalize a database, it always feels like I cannot predict Cascading, leaving broken relationships and trash queries.2
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Any way to run some python code in android without losing my mind !? It is just a code which queries a simple api once a minute and logs it into a sqlite db. I want to use my phone as a substitute for a server instance, cos i dont have the monies to buy one..😬.. SL4A aint working.. P4A webview isnt working for some reason.14
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I want some help with media queries I am new and learning so please don't bash me up :
Here is my css code I want to know how to solve the issue :
/* About Section */
.about
{
height:600px;
padding:50px;
display: flex;
flex-direction: row;
justify-content: space-between;
align-items: center;
}
.abouttext
{
position: relative;
padding: 0 50px;
height: inherit;
}
.abouttext h1
{
position: relative;
left: 230px;
}
.abouttext img{
width:20vw;
position: absolute;
top:50px;
}
.aboutlist
{
width:50%;
}
ol
{
list-style: none;
color: #e0501b;
}
ol li
{
font-size: 34px;
position: relative;
margin-bottom: 20px;
}
li p
{
font-size:16px;
color:#000;
padding-left:60px;
line-height:30px;
opacity:0.6;
}
li span
{
float: right;
position: absolute;
line-height: 25px;
font-weight: 600;
}
4 -
A friend outsourced a project to us with partial requirements. We developed it as per the requirements and submitted the app and admin portal to his client. I was aware of certain critical features missing in the requirement. Generally we provide an admin portal to manage the backend of the app, but in this project a backend was to be made but the adding or modifying users section was not mentioned in the requirement. My team presented the project and convinced them to create or modify users writing SQL queries on the production DB (they are sales guys with no technical knowledge)
P.S - we won't be responsible for any DB errors :P -
On Friday I talked about a program that I copied and pasted into my own, and when I was testing it, it didn't work like the original.
If I kept it as the original, it wouldn't even move. If I tried to change it (taking the queries out of the loop. I know I know, I didn't make the original), it would give me a dump saying I was out of space.
So, my solution: delete some records as I go.
Can't wait to see the problems I'm about to have with this 🙃 -
From the guy that practices bash in the production server, here's the same guy who also practices SQL queries in the production's PostgreSQL!
I swear these happen by accident. I'm having to do some data corruption control by some bug, but I forget to close the panel when I'm finished. Then I go on with my tasks and I think it's my own computer I'm writing these commands to.3 -
Holy shit Realm. This DB.... On Android it will crash if you access a reference to the db from a different thread than the one it was created from! 🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️
Why oh why can't they just have their own internals managing all the fucking thread they need? There's a reason they provide sync and async db access.
This basically means that my reference to a realm instance should always be tightly paired with the corresponding thread reference so that I can run my db queries on it.
👎9 -
Every once a while, I secretly wished AppSync will be equipped with persisted queries and batch queries.
Was I not praying hard enough? -
I tried to run a migration I wrote with a an older dump from production. Turns out it had a cost of 150129966.7 and didn't finish within half an hour. Turns out I didn't understand joins in update queries as well as I thought1
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Any SOLR gurus out there. I have approx 10 hrs of doodling with queries and a problem I can't solve. Up for grabs at:
http://stackoverflow.com/questions/... -
Hello friends, have a look on my first medium article “Random Number Generators”. If you have any doubts or queries, please comment
https://medium.com/@rishurai24/... -
What a marvellous money making combination. Entity Framework generated queries and Azure DTUs. Satyr Nadella laughing all the way to the bank
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Need some media query help on a website I'm developing.
I'm keeping my browser cache clear, checking different browsers, trying different editors for uploading changes but nothing seems to be working.
Firebug is still showing the code as if the files aren't being overwritten with my changes.
If someone wouldn't mind taking a look I'd really appreciate it17 -
!rant
Developing a website for mobile feels like a pain the back to me. Can anyone recommend any good tutorials?
I can design basic sites for desktop screens but I have problem making them work for mobile. I don't know the right approach. Should I add a bunch of @media queries? Or should I use relative measures like em? It's so confusing. -
Seems like sequelize doesn't support delete join queries. I keep missing all those things I took for granted on my previous stack.
But it's too late for me, it's gonna be node and I'm gonna like it. -
Redoing our web apps to use SSO... Every single page within the app runs LDAP authentication. What is the point of signing in and having session cookies if you are reauthorization a logon on every page?!??? Now what seemed like a simple task of revamping the initial logon has turned into a hunting trip for LDAP queries and creating new sql tables
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Last question for today, I promise…
For my side project, I plan on saving a URL and an array of strings associated with that URL. I want to be able to search and sort the resulting DB from a frontend without needing complicated queries. Is this the use case for a key-value pair DB? Let me know if I’m not clear and thanks!14
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