When you stare into git, git stares back.

It's fucking infinite.

Me 2 years ago:
"uh was it git fetch or git pull?"

Me 1 year ago:
"Look, I printed these 5 git commands on a laptop sticker, this is all I need for my workflow! branch, pull, commit, merge, push! Git is easy!"

Me now:
"Hold my beer, I'll just do git format-patch -k --stdout HEAD..feature -- script.js | git am -3 -k to steal that file from your branch, then git rebase master && git rebase -i HEAD~$(git rev-list --count master..HEAD) to clean up the commit messages, and a git branch --merged | grep -v "\*" | xargs -n 1 git branch -d to clean up the branches, oh lets see how many words you've added with git diff --word-diff=porcelain | grep -e '^+[^+]' | wc -w, hmm maybe I should alias some of this stuff..."

Do you have any git tricks/favorites which you use so often that you've aliased them?

Too much stupid today..

Client: "Our server is almost full, fix it"

Me: "Okay, you can upgrade the VM, or I can see if theres anything that can be cleaned up?"

C: "Clean it up"

Me: *Finds 5 extra MySQL DB's that amount to 50-60GB in total*

Me: "Well I can remove some of your extra databases, and some of the local backups, as they're also backed up offsite. They're currently unused and dated back to the beginning of 2017, everything is out of date anyways."

C: "No"

Me: "Okay, is there a reason?"

C: "No"

Me: "Okay, so we'll upgrade the VM?"

C: "No"

Me: "I'm sorry, but those are really your two options"

C: "Just fix it"
...................
...................
...................
What in the ducking fuck !@#$#%?
If you're so fuggin smart, then why do they pay me?
I'm clearly stupid and unable to read your mind.

Coworker in my team recently said to boss:

"Thanks, this conversation with you has taught me so much about single-threaded blocking I/O"

Some random PR comments from our company's repository:

"Are you insured? I hope you are insured"

"Learning git is not that difficult. You only need one command: git reset --hard"

*Link to amazon for dog poop bags*
"Please clean up your shit, before I step in it"

"Have you thought about a career in sales? At least there you might sell your bullshit"

So my college has Apple iMacs and this is the pain I have to go through everyday.
Why can't they just clean it at least once?

Wholesome anti-rant.

There’s this Indian chick at work that I really, really do not get along with. Fortunately she’s on a different team so we have practically zero interactions. Her code was always decent, maybe upper junior level? but I went away fuming almost every time we talked.

However, I did a release security review today (I’m down from five/six per month to one) and read through quite a bit of her code. It was clean and easy to read with good separation, clear naming and intentions, nothing was confusing, etc. It was almost beautiful. Had I any emotions I might have shed a tear. I sent her a message and let her know :) I actually learned a better way of doing a couple of things from it.

She has grown so much as a dev.

Parents:why is my iPad so slow?

Me: It's old (1st gen that came out in 2010)

P:well just clean it up and make it go faster

M:Theres nothing to clean... Theres only a browser app and solitaire....

P: well just fix it so it's faster

M:....... *turns it off and on again*

M: All fixed

One of the coolest good bye message I have ever seen in my company...

The code is so clean with proper comments...

Dad calls:
D: Hai, so, um, my pc's not booting up.
Me: So?
D: What do I do now?
M: You tried fixin' it?
D: That's why I'm calling you.
M: I'm 400km away from you. Does it do anything by pressing a power-on button?
D: No. But I touched it, it's really hot.
M: When was the last time you cleaned that shit up?
D: I have to clean it?
*PC is located at dusty environment at work. 5 years old and is being turned on 6 days a week*

Clean. Your. Pc.
Oh, and yeah, it overheated, burned the mbo, power suply, and cpu cooler stopped spinning.
It's like Satan threw a curse on a pc, and took a piss on it.
The best part? He's mad because I "never help him nor have time when he needs something to be fixed".
He can fix the PC in a pc shop that is across the street.

So, you doin' any better this week?

Thank you dear mr. boss for fucking up our master branch by adding local changes to a 2 months outdated master branch (250 FUCKING COMMITS BEHIND), pull the remote and then just push without resolving any conflicts!!!1!!!

But thank you so much for sending me an email at 10pm asking me to resolve the conflicts.

It is 3 in the morning and it took 1 hour to get it clean.

Sometimes I want to break some necks...

I can now die without regret, I came back to a project after leaving it for three months

I WAS ABLE TO UNDERSTAND MY CODE!

I think I reached the point of writing clean code?
Let's hope so :)

// sorry, again a story not a rant
Category->type = 'Story';
Category->save();

Today at work I got a strange email

'about your msi laptop'

(Some background information, a few months ago I went on vacation and left my work laptop at home. Long story short some one broke in and stole my msi laptop)

So this email had my interest. I opened it and the content was something like:

Hi! My name is x, I clean/repair laptops partime and I noticed your personal information on this laptop, normally people whipe their data from their laptop before selling so this is just a double check, if the laptop was stolen please call me on xxx

If I hear nothing I'll assume its alright and will whipe your data

So of course I immediately called him, after a conversation I informed the police who is now working on the case

For April Fools at a school I worked for, I printed off one of those "Your printer has been upgraded to be voice activated" signs and put it on their fairly new printer, went into the room opposite and waited. I heard far far too many teachers saying "Copy!" repeatedly, getting more and more agitated before 'manually' copying their document. I had to come clean before I left at lunch time because one of the teachers got quite angry at the prospect of a voice activated photocopier and refused to use it that way. The following year April Fools was on a school holiday so I couldn't pull it in the school I was in that day but i fully expect it to work somewhere else.

Worst disturbance while working?

Some of my faves:
- Mgr flying his new $400 drone around the office (hitting walls, ceiling, etc). I mentioned the price because he crashed it a week later (un-repairable kind of crash), so I didn't feel too sorry for his loss.
- Mgr trying out his new blowgun and blowing darts at a cardboard box down/bewtween the cube hallway (where anyone could walk out of at any time). We would hear the "pfffft" and a loud 'Yea!'.
- Mgr would walk by a cube entry-way, fart, and walk away laughing.
- Mgr called me into area and his desk+the floor area around his desk was covered in peanut shells.
Me: "Wow, you got a mess here."
Mgr: "Yea, got tired of trying to hit the trash can. Maintenance will vacuum the office this weekend."
The mess was one thing, but what disturbed me the most was this asshole thinks Maintenance-Jim has nothing better to do than clean up after this so-called adult.

Karma kicked in and an hour later the owner's wife (we're still a family owned company, so he+his wife are on friendly basis with everyone) stopped by to say hi and walked in on the mess.
June: "What do we have here!?"
Mgr: "Oh...um...uh..I was eating a few peanuts and putting the shells in the trash can and accidentally knocked it over. I was on my way to get the vacuum cleaner."
June: "Hmmm...this looks like more than a few. *You* clean it up right now and *never* let me see this again!"
Mgr: "Yes..yes ma'am...right now.."

Whole office heard the exchange and it was frickin' awesome.

So yesterday my girlfriend and me wanted to clean the apartment.

We ended up coding on a private project all day long... but at least we put //FIXME notes all over our place.

Let's see how today goes. ^^

The most pissed off I've been at work?

Client X came to us for a website.
We secretly outsourced the work.
Client X is coming for a visit in 10 mins...

MD to me: "I've told them your lead dev on this. They're not super-technical so if they ask you about the project just tell them it's going well."

Now I'm not a comfortable blagger, I don't have that kind of confidence, so to ask me to lie like this makes me feel really stressed and uncomfortable. Furthermore, I had literally no idea about any aspect of the work we were supposedly doing for this client. I can barely contain my panic but my colleagues help me piece together a basic understanding.

The MD returns: "They're here now. Can you quickly go and check that the toilets are clean."

WHAT THE FUCK!? The little prick. I'd knock him out if wasn't so meek and pathetic. I tell myself that I'm being helpful and nice but in truth I'm just his fucking doormat and he has zero respect for me.

I have no problem cleaning stuff (we all basically tidy up behind us) but this is something he could have done. Furthermore, who cares? None of us leave the loos with piss on the floor and shit smeared across the walls. They're never anything less than client-ready so to ask me to check means that he's already checked them himself and one of the loos is not quite shiny enough.

The reader may feel that this is no big deal (and in some ways you're right) but everything about this scenario was fucked up. The MD had embroiled the whole company in a lie and assumes we're all okay with that, then to add insult just nonchalantly orders me to clean the bogs. The cunt.

FWIW The client didn't ask to talk to me or use the toilet during their visit.

My mother used to code a good 30 years ago (embedded development for plane engines), but nowadays always fear doing something wrong on her computer/smartphone.

It's a bit depressing to see how someone who used to be a developer is now so fearful of computers.

On the plus side, she is very respective of my time, and will wait 2/3 weeks for me to come home to fix a simple thing, and generally don't bother me with things she can do herself, once I explain to her how to do it.

Last time was cleaning laptop fans. Seeing how you need to disassemble half of it to clean that, I can understand anyone not wanting to do it.

When you wake up, notice your phone fell off the bed (my bed is about 180cm high), don't have google services to locate it/make it ring etc so you log into one of your domain name providers because you've got 2FA enabled there and you might hear the text notification sounds xD.

(in the end, I just had to clean my room partly in order to find it again :/)

2019 resolutions/goals recap: (non-personal ones)
1) Improve diet (did; e.g. ramen and fast food to clean keto)
2) Lose weight (did; lost 24 pounds!)
3) Find a good job (did, twice)
4) Buy a harp (did not; large and expensive, no place to put it, and I have small children who would absolutely break it)
5) Keep house clean, even if it's by myself (did, somewhat; I cleaned some, managed to get one other person to clean semi-regularly, and another sporadically)
6) Work on social awkwardness (did; read and applied Dale Carnegie's The Art of Public Speaking, which netted me my last job offer. Still pretty awkward though)
7) Move out of the desert (did not; not enough money, and job didn't allow remote work)
8) Stop bloody waiting on people (did not; still very guilty of this...)

I don't remember the rest 🙁 didn't write them down last year. But I still accomplished 5 out of the 8 I remembered, with one being a pass, so 5/7!

-----

2020 resolutions/goals:
1) Finally move out of the desert
2) Invest 20% of my income every month
3) Reduce bills by 20%
4) Solve/address some health issues
5) Make a schedule so things regularly get done around the house, e.g. cleaning
6) Find some friends and make time for them
7) Replace Debian with something else
8) Revamp my backup system
9) Be proactive and stop waiting on people
10) Build a (stationary) coil gun for fun

Okay so about a year ago these FUKKING IDIOTS decides, against my recommendation, to do this quick-ugly-hack and ninja it into production.
I tell them its a FUCKING BAD idea that will blow up in a year or so...
But no, just go go go!!!!!!!

Now a year later, shit blew up badly. A total FUCKING derail. These new idiots asks me to "fix the problem", the same fucking problem I predicted and warned them about a year ago. So now i have to clean up their ducking mess because "Nobody else knows how to fix it".
What the FUCKING HELL do we pay them fuckkkers to do?!!

New idiots you ask? Yep, because 3 out of the 4 original fucktards already left the place in order to go and make some other new collegues lives fucking miserable.

FUCK YOU FUCKING MOOTHERFUUUKKKEEERRRRRSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Today we moved to a new office in the next building.

It is a very big upgrade, since it is bigger and nicer.

So I ask where the bathroom is and go in the direction told, and the bathroom is so nice! Huge mirror, everything is clean and new.

On the way out I find that it was the girls bathroom....

Boss comes in and gives me some js code for syncing data (he hacked it together the other day, really messy with like 5 callback lamdas stacked into each other)

Boss: Make it faster and more reliable and add some progress indicator

So i look at the code and he literally pulls all the data as one json (20+ MiB). Server needs multiple minutes to generate the response (lots of querys), sometimes even causing timeouts....

So i do what everyone would do and clean up the code, split the request into multiple ones, only fetching the necessary data and send the code back to my boss.

He comes in and asks me what all this complexity is about. And why i need 5 functions to do what he did in one. (He didn't -.-). He says he only told me to "make it faster and show progress" not "to split everything up".
So I ask him how he wants to do this over HTTP with just one request...
His response: "I don't care make it work!".

Sometimes i hate my job -.-

I don't want to write clean code anymore :(

I read Clean Code, Clean Coder, and watched many uncle bob's videos, and I was able to apply best practices and design patterns
I created many systems that really stood the test of time...

Management was kind enough to introduce me to uncle bob clean code in the first place, letting us watch it during work hours. after like one year, my code improved 400% minimum because I am new and I needed guidance from veterans...

That said, to management I am very slow, compared to this other guy, they ask me for a feature and my answer would be like "sure, we need to update the system because it just doesn't support that right now, it is easy though it would take 2 days tops"

they ask the same thing for the other guy : "ok let me see what I can do", 1 hour later, on slack, he writes : done. he slaps bunch of if-statement and make special case that will serve the thing they asked for.

oh 'cool' they say -> but it doesn't do this -> it needs to do that -> ok there is a new bug,-> it doesn't work in build mode-> it doesn't work if you are logged in as a guest, now its perfect ! -> it doesn't work on Android -> ok it works on android but now its not perfect anymore.

and they feel like he is fast (and to be fair he is), this feature? done. ok new bugs? solved. Android compatibility ? just one day ... it looks like he is doing doing doing.

it ends up taking double the time I asked for, and that is not to mention the other system affected during this entire process, extra clean up that I have to do, even my systems that stood the test of time are now ruined and cannot be extracted to other projects. because he just slaps whatever bools and if statements he needs inside any system, uses nothing but Singleton pattern on everything. our app will never be ready-for-business, this I can swear. its very buggy. and to fix it, it needs a change in mentality, not in code.
---------------

uncle bob said : write your code the right way, and the management will see that your code generates less errors, with time, you will earn respect even though they will feel you are slow at first.

well sorry uncle, I've been doing it for a year, my image got bad, you are absolutely right, only when there is no one else allowed to drop a giant shit inside your clean code.

note: we don't really have a technical lead.
-------------------
its been only two days since my new "hack n' slash" meta, the management is already kind of "impressed" ... so I'll keep hacking and slashing until I find a better job.

!dev

Dear Airbnb Hosts,

The extra cleaning fee isn't just extra profit for you. I will gladly pick up after myself, before I leave. That said, if you expect me to deep clean your flat, consider leaving equipment to do so. If you send me a shitty email because I didn't buy a broom, mop, bucket and kitchen rags to stock your investment property, I'll tell you about where you can stick that noise.

Sincerely,
Fuck you

Me and my girlfriend's pillow talk about memory leaks

Me: **... So garbage collection is a means to stopping a memory leak from occuring
Gf: what 's a memory leak ?
Me: a memory leak is like when you want a pizza, and the guy gives you pizza. But you don't eat the pizza and you ask for another pizza. You keep doing this repeatedly. Until the pizza guy realizes what you're doing and decides to kill you. He then takes back all his pizzas
Gf: why would you do that though?
Me: Lazy ass programmers who don't clean up after themselves.

After a nice clean reinstall.. some partitions didn't wanna play nice so I got my hacking tools and hacked away.

Stupid shitheads among the web designers, fucking listen up. Your fucking design is not the point of websites - the content is. You are not supposed to shove the content away to have your moron design shine in its purest debility.

Yeah I know, white space minimalism yadda yadda, clean interface - and you dumbasses just remove functionality to simulate a clean interface, to the point of using hamburger fuckups on desktop. Pull your heads out of your asses, that's not how to design an interface! Not to mention that you idiots still guzzle through the megabytes and dozens of domain lookups for your chickenshit minimalism.

While we're at it, not everyone is 20 years old like you youngsters - you won't believe it, but there is life beyond 40, and while such age is unthinkable to you because you are so dumb that you will hardly reach that age anyway, others on this planet have managed to get there. No 20/20 laser sight, you know.

Fuck you with your light grey thin fonts on white background because it looks "clean", it just SUCKS you wankers. Fuck you with your stupid ghost buttons that don't even look like a button. You know how to operate the shit you made, but reality check here, users spend most of their time on fucking other websites than on the abomination you have designed!

Get that into the shit bubble that you call your brain and read WCAG 2.1! That's not only for disabled people, but everyone will be able to use that shit better!

Does anyone else get so self conscious about writing neat, clean and efficient code that you get demotivated because you always think "there's a better way to do this".

The cleanest code is no code at all. 😂

I write loads of services, tools, programs for myself (unpaid) which I could just as well open source.

Only thing is that the code is usually not that clean and refactoring would take time that I don't have so I'm kinda anxious about putting it out there 😧

I started reading the book "The clean coder" by Robert Martin and now I feel depressed.
So many of the things that he qualifies as unprofessional have I done :'(

As devs we like to complain about our jobs. But I just want to take a moment and acknowledge how truly amazing writing software is. Nothing else has given me so much joy and happiness. The endless stream of new things to learn, the elusive art of clean code, and deep understanding of systems required for architecture. There is so much depth to this career we have all chosen and I hope you guys love it just as much as I do.

What a fucking day!
So some many years ago, we placed a small and useful piece of code into a MySQL Query, which prefixes the order ids with a string and returns the value.

Basically

SELECT
CONCAT(“ORDER_PREFIX”, LPAD(order.id,5,’0’) AS order_reference

Now many years ago when this was a simple solution to a system that wasn’t expected to be running today, all went well, except today.... today that fucking line exceeded 5 digits
😓😍😓

I don’t know if I should be ashamed, or happy right now, a totally unfuture proof query that just rolled that little too far, or the fact that I’ve watch 100k orders role through this system.

Now for the clean up crew to do their job.... oh 🙁 that’s me too.

Now this doesn’t affect the order ids... so that’s something but external systems rely on that guy 😭

Le Me: well it is the time to go back on that Android project and resume the work.

*Open Android Studio, open the project.
*Wait 10 minutes for build/index
*error: gradle outdated, that is ok, update it.
*error: some library needs update
*error: R not found
*error: internal IDE error.

*Clean Project: PC hangs, Fan go so fast..

Shit ! I even not touched the code !

Soooo, after raising my issue regarding microsoft's massive invasion of privacy and removing control from the user a couple of my friends, ahem I mean "aquaintances", said this to me:
"Get a mac! So clean, lightweight and user friendly and won't spy on you".

Clearly people who never looked at their list of background processes and installed little snitch. I swear, every couple of minutes something is trying to phone home to Apple.

Now I've been pretty open to all platforms (Win/Mac/*NIX/misc) until recently but this has reached a point it is no longer funny.

When I get a moment I'm gonna shove linux so far up that machine's arse Steve Jobs is gonna feel it in the ether!

When I discovered Clean Code, design patterns, TDD and BDD. It just clicked. Ever since everything build so easy and obviously. I no longer have most of the code problems folks rant here about.

That's when it came to me: it's not enough to know how to write code. To climb off those amateur shoes I must adopt those methodologies, so that the code would be decoupled from me, from my style, and I've got to let tests drive my code rather than vice versa to have a flexible and reliable codebase that is cheap and easy to maintain/extend.

Commit Message Part2:
6528fff Code was clean until manager requested to fuck it up
241b35f Who knows WTF?!
4381a32 Argh! About to give up :(
c3bf1a9 more debug... who overwrote!
2d68d6d Fixed a bug cause Maciej said to
b112c1a This branch is so dirty, even your mom can't clean it.
bb456d4 Shit code!
4878b46 Copy-paste to fix previous copy-paste
e2c7e87 A fix I believe, not like I tested or anything
f56109f derpherp
e4b8f4c formatted all
3691208 I'm just a grunt. Don't blame me for this awful PoS.
0888b69 just checking if git is working properly...
62741aa I'm too old for this shit!
0735196 COMMIT ALL THE FILES!
09caccf I CAN HAZ PYTHON, I CAN HAZ INDENTS
1e1cda8 giggle.
ab70bde Fixed errors
934436d Now added delete for real
5f84e30 My bad
99baff8 CHRIS, WE WENT OVER THIS. C++ IO SUCKS.
953473d final commit.
f0c3b57 Just committing so I can go home
4e5ce4e yolo push
deb4e3b I CAN HAZ PYTHON, I CAN HAZ INDENTS
710c06a Commit committed....
3c45e67 it is hump day _^_
4487788 Committing in accordance with the prophecy.
bf86e7e This solves it.
4804f68 FONDLED THE CODE
051d42e REALLY FUCKING FIXED

!rant
Finally did a clean reinstall of my six-year-old Macbook. Decided to change up the theme too, really liking the new 80s Outrun look. Running so smoothly too!

!rant

So I am building a website and already finished it and ready to be deployed.
Got server access and found that there are many other websites files and folder.

Note : multiple copies of website that I am working on.

So I raise my concern with client about which folder is actually handling the website. She contact the old dev guy and got the webroot for that website. She told me to delete everything and clean it up and make tge current websites available.

I realize that there are many other websites may rely on those files and folder and inform about the consequences. And finally told her I will not touch any files except for the website I am working on.

So, I deployed the website and works good as expected. After 3 weeks clients comes back with an issue that one of her websites is notworking and trying to blame me for it.

Fyi : before my deploymemt she says that she will talk to hosting providers to clean their webspace. I am not sure on that yet.

So I tried to do auditing and found that after 2 days frm my deployment some has already wiped everything from those other websites.
I showed my audits and its someone did it.
You should contact your hosting provider or the other dev who she contacted for wiping.

From the begining I am telling that lady to take backups. She said no need.

The reason I didnt took it because I am not working on those website and obviously client isnt going to pay me for those back.

There is still more to go waiting for her resonses.

I used to work in a tech shop. Old lady brings her laptop in claiming viruses broke her Gmail. I do the diagnostic, it's relatively clean with a bit of browser adware and tracking cookies. I call her and let her know there was nothing wrong with her Gmail and that it's good to go (she approved a tune up). She comes in and gets it. She calls later saying Gmail is still broken. I invite her to bring it in so we can have a look together (knowing for sure she was the problem). So we open up Gmail together and she shows me what she's doing. She's clicking on the sender and getting the contact card instead of the email opening. I show her how to actually open the email. She doesn't understand. I spend twenty more minutes explaining how to open an email. And this is the wk13 kicker, she waits until after twenty minutes to ask what "click" means. I was so done. That lady was too old to be using a computer.

Manager: The way you built this doesn’t accommodate any of my future plans!

Dev: What future plans?

Manager: I have a bunch of different ideas, I haven’t decided which ones to go with yet or how it will all work but you’re making it so we’re running out of room in the UI. It’s too busy, you need to clean it up so we can add more stuff!

Dev: …

Can U keep your desk clean ?!
If so, how do you do it???

The moment, when you refactor your code and it looks so clean. Priceless.

One developer to me:
I will need access to root account on that new machine you just installed so that I can install/configure all the stuff and so you won't have to do it.
Me - I can't give you root. Not even sudo, this will be a production machine, I need to have a clean track of it.
D - but I will give it (root) back to you once I'm done.
Me - look pal, root access is like virginity. I can give it away but I will never be able to get it back.
D - But you can remove my access later. And, talking about virginity, there are operations that "restore" virginity ;)
Me - yes, and I can take access to root from you afterwards, which would be similar to the procedure you are referring to. But it won't change the fact that the server was already fucked.

FOR FUCKS SAKE, CLEAN YOUR KEYBOARD!

Today we had some presentations on a class, I was near the projector, so I volunteered to control the presentation flow.

Fast forward three teams, arrives this guy, lets his laptop and and I open it... SMELLS, FUCKING SMELLS BAD. Add to that grease and dirt all over the keyboard... I just pressed the right arrow key with the bare tip of my finger...

It's not that hard to keep your workstation clean. Most of all, odourless.

Atother story about PC hardware and being... Not so careful.

A friend complained about his PSU fan being too loud. I said "well, maybe bearings are dying already".
The next day he messaged me and asked to suggest a new PSU. Ok, I threw him some links.
Leter, he told me what happened:
He decided to clean the PSU, because he thought the noise could be because of dust. So he turned off his PC and removed PSU cover with a screwdriver. While doing this, he accidentally hit the circuit board itself. Then "Puff", black smoke and smell of sth burning. Turned out he didn't switched the PSU off. Luckily, the screwdriver handle was rubberized. I'm glad he is alive ._.

Yesterday, I finished the front-end of a project for a client. Responsive, clean,.. Looking 'smexy' :D

Today I've got an email of the client, saying he made some small design adjustments...

I think you already know where this is going.. But inline-css everywhere, fixed widths, br's as spacers,.. (It was like an old Frontpage-like design..)

I've changed the FTP user.. From now on, he has to request his changes so that I can apply them.. Damnit.. But hey, extra paid hours of work I guess :D

Damn, I really love Vue! 🥰
It's so clean and refreshingly simple compared to the shitfuckery called AngularJS (should be renamed to AngularJK or AngularRIP btw.).

I don't understand why I haven't tried Vue sooner... much mind boggle, so regret, many thinking...

Until now I've never thought of putting stickers on my laptop. Always preferred it to be clean, but with all those cool stickers on all your laptops... It made me wanna put as many stickers as possible and since devRant stickers looked lonely, I've decided to print some of my own. On other side I wantedthem to be useful for me so I grabbed a handful of NFC stickers and designed links and required shortcuts for my phones to run with them on touch. for example if I need a hotspot on my mobile to be activated quickly, I just put my phone against the WIFI sticker and bingo! And yes, devRant logo opens devRant app))

I had to clean my keyboard...
So i have to use this for today

Assuming people understand lambdas.... It looks so clean though 😔

The company that I currently work for has a strict clean-desk policy. So strict, there's even have a little booklet that they have about 1000 copies of lying around the office everywhere. In the booklet is a playful description (with cartoons!) of what can go wrong when sensitive information is lying around, or shared with outsiders through careless talk, etcetera. Employees are encouraged to take a copy of the booklet home.

Also in the booklet is a description of the importance of having a good password. It mentions the required minimum (x) and maximum (x+1) length of passwords, mandatory character classes, and how often the passwords have to be changed.

While I was in university, I used to be a good programmer (which I still am :D ), my friends used to copy my code for the assignments. One day, the teacher (one of my my mentors) called me in his office and said, "this is your code".
I'm like, in my mind, "How did he know this?"
The teacher said, "If you let others copy your code one more time, I will fail you".
I nodded my head in affirmation.
Later I understood that I've been a "Clean code" principle follower even before I knew this term. So, it was pretty easy to differentiate my codes from my friends. The teacher is really a genius ^_^

I've just revived an old desktop computer today. Turns out that it was running Windows XP, Avast free antivirus, and had Bearshare as a default search engine (in other words, that thing is NOT going to be connected to my network).

But, it also had Chrome installed. So I thought to myself, with 1.25GB of RAM, there's no way that it could run Chrome smoothly. Opened it, and....

It consumed 80MB of RAM. 80 MEGABYTES. And that's not even a clean installation of it, it's a (likely) malware-infested one from a user! Compare that to the Chrome of today.

var m = Me()
var f = Friend()

f.speak("I just wiped my whole disk drive with everything on it and I just realized how much I didn't care about all those movies I didn't watch or the TV shows that I'm keeping on the side...... It's like a clean new PC and I feel so free")

m.speak("Stop with the spiritual bullshit. You were installing Windows and it was a mistake right?")

f.cryAndNod()

m.sigh()

Fuck Cypress. It’s a fucking goddamn pile of diseased garbage. Its design decisions actively fight against you, its methods don’t work, it’s unreliable as fuck, and it intentionally keeps stale state so your tests fuck with one another — and that even fucks up its own interface so nothing fucking works.

It’s like stepping into the shower and expecting clean water, but instead it’s just some obese guy with diarrhea shitting in your hair, and then getting all indignant that you’re upset about it.

If you consider using Cypress for something, find another project.

I secretly wish everything at work fails because everyone is so fucking stupid every time it makes me cringe when I have to talk to someone or watch someone explaining something to me.

Everything seems to lack planning and focus, our PMS act more like clients than like managers, its a total fucking mess and I have to clean some of it this week.

It's getting so much on my nerves that I had to open my whiskey for the first time this year, damn.

So here's my setup.
Minimalist and clean, the only environment I can work in.

My laptop spends way more time at home now-a-days since I bought the iPad Pro 12.9 2017... It's just so practical to take to lectures.

As for my desktop... well my keyboard definitely needs an upgrade... Any suggestions on a good keyboard?

My alcohol shrine, keeps me sane 😂😍. Let's see your setups.

• Plan out everything by taking notes on the rough functionality of the project and how it could be done in a preferably simple way
• Writing code, but documentating it while doing so
• Also trying to write clean code so it can be more easily built upon
• Also keeping everything simple. If I'm using nasty, unreadable one-liners because of efficiency advantages, I'm putting a comment there for what could alternatively be used + explaining it
• Abandon it because side projects never get done

How to take off with a jet:

1. Have a 2013 MBP
2. Don't clean the coolers and exhausts for 5 years
3. Transpile an app and start a gradle build
4. Enjoy your machine taking off at around 100°C

FFS Apple, 100°C is not OK. Neither is having the fucking fans so loud I can hear them over my headphones. I should probably clean the laptop... Not sure I can open it up though. Company-issued machine.

I DID IT!!! just fucking installed lineage os <3 never imagined that it could be so complicated... they really don't want you to flash your phone man. I guess the main problem was that my phone is old x)

So I'm trying to get a clean and free environment, any advice about applications? My biggest problem is with telegram, I'll try wire, bit there is anything else that can replace telegram and on android and Linux? I mean I need to keep conversations sync, and I won't use a Chrome application TT so no signal.

God fucking dammit why are people so fucking lazy? A couple months ago I've had the intern refactor and organise this coworker's spaghetti code, and he did an excellent job, added type safety, etc.

I've took special care to explain it to this coworker that I understand he didn't have time to organise code and the intern took care of it, and to please keep it clean from now on.

Today I had to add a small feature to the same codebase, and every single thing that fucktard added from then on was crammed in the same file. And that guy's been here for 5 years already, I thought I don't have to triple check every single line he writes by now...

Hackers hid backdoor in CCleaner, with 2 billion downloads and 2.3 million greatly affected and detected so far, go fuck yourself you Windows fucking gloating noob fanboys showing off how you clean your C with CCleaner like a breeze, go clean your ass now and hope there's no backdoor there! 🖕

I started a project at high school 7 years ago, I had no idea what's clean code or design pattern, just learn while keep coding. I eventually stopped because my code is so terrible I cannot understand it anymore.

Now, after 1 year of working, I look back those dirty codes and think it is actually not that bad. Within hours I even fixed a bug with concurrency.

I start to think, instead of learning to how to write good code, maybe I should learn how to read bad code. That's just much more practical.

Running a wild UPDATE statement against an inventory database, it was chaotic and didn't have backups.... yea I know 😅 the backup service died god knows when and no one noticed. I was only new at the time so #notMyFault

UPDATE stock_on_hand = 0; WHERE id IN(1,2,3,4,5,88,972,7388);
# rows affected 1,234,567,890

> I think I almost died inside.

Oh the fun that mess was to clean up.
The positive outcome of this was, we had backups working again not long after and the inventory counts where accurate after that stock take.

Just nuked all of my 3 email inboxes
It feels so nice and clean

So, it's 22:40 here and I'm sat on a bench staring out at a pond because my stress and anxiety is at an all time high after a couple of weeks of hellish arguments with work and my personal life so as were all developers here to some degree let me convey my fucking thoughts here.
If you care more about maintaining your fucking superiority complex over writing good clean efficient code then get the fuck out of the industry.
I don't give two fucks whether you use Linux or Windows. I couldn't give two fucks about whether you use sublime, Emacs or VIM. I couldn't give two fucks about the framework you spend more time defending than coding in, because absolutely none of it matters if you code like a retard on bath salts you pretentious cunts.
Stop feeding you fucking ego. Absolute cluster fuck of an industry.

Bind learning c++ chapter 3

Fuck whoever says that java is easier than c++. If i populate memory i can just fucking clean it out. I have access to the literal fucking stack my code runs on. I can integrate assembly. I can fucking make my program run in -3 seconds for fucks sake, this is so much easier than java where i have to fuck around with scopes to nudge the gc to start cleaning up and i need a separate engine to access jasm code.

Procrastination is weird... Their were a piece of code I wasn't looking forward to work on, so I started cleaning my apartment instead, putting some order in my files, and even tidy up my desk, which I didn't do for months 😐
And it finally took me 10min to actually write the code 😆
It's annoying, but I can't be the only one 🤔
At least I can enjoy a clean setup... Until it become a mess again...

Inappropriate experience at work? Here is another one:

The IS department manager 'John' loved shelled peanuts, but hated cleaning them up. By the end of the day his desk and surrounding area were covered in peanut shells (he never bothered trying to put the shells in the trash can). He didn't seem to care because the maintenance crew would clean up the office every night and he would come in to a clean area every day.

That was until the company owner's wife was making the rounds one day and saw his mess. The shells hit the fan. The 'beat down' occurred at EOD, so most didn't witness it, but she lit him up. Almost screaming that he's a grown man and the maintenance crew have enough to do without cleaning up after him...etc..etc.
John never ate peanuts at his desk again.

Things to do while you encounter a bug and haven't resolved in some hours:
- Leave it and get clean air so your brain relaxes.

What i do:
- Stay there trying to figure out why the fuck this shit doesn't work and considering falling from the window a very good option

So before the Age of JavaScript, when programming was trying to be an engineering discipline, I felt like we were getting close to figuring out what worked and what didn't. We had rules of thumb (more general than Patterns) and code smells.
Then JavaScript came in and no one had time to think about "engineering" anymore. I'm fine with MVP and small iterations, but the disdain I see for making code clean and extendable and improvable is baffling (and annoying). First-time coders might never have had to fix someone else's code, but two weeks in a chair should have fixed that.
It's not that understanding code is so hard (although it can be); understanding the _intent_ is hard. This MVP is great, but when no one had time to document what is actually supposed to happen, programmers have to reverse-engineer the *design*.

“Overhearing powers of the Fullstack dev”

We have an internal control panel (BEEP) to manage our dev Tomcat instances. The other day, with one of my muggle friend, I was trying to restart an instance. There’s a checkbox to clean the host tmp files and directories, ingeniously named as - Purge cache.

Innocent Me (to my muggle friend): bro would Purge cache delete the application log files?

__(Fullstack dev overhearing us)__

Muggle friend: Purge ca... (gets interrupted my the Fullstack dev)

Fullstack dev: so the thing is ... it’s like ... (gotta be consistent with the opening) what “npm purge” does is it deletes the files which are not being used.

Confused Muggle friend: bro it’s a BEEP option to clean the tmp dirs.

Fullstack dev: oh I thought you guys were talking about “npm purge”

Angry muggle friend: then WHY THE FUCK did you answer if you didn’t know [...] the fuck we were talking about.

Calm fullstack dev: FYI. Might help you someday.

Deeply-hurt Me: (what the fuck is “npm purge”). Hey man do you mean “npm prune”? Because they don’t have an npm purge. And what do you mean by “it deletes the files which are not being used”?

Confident Fullstack dev: NO

Me: (cries in npm)

More to come!

I'm a python fanboy, not gonna lie.
I love everything about it. It's clean syntax, ready to use out of the box-ness, convenient built-in functions.

The one thing I hate is the official documentation. It's ugly, hard to navigate and a cluster fuck.

But it has proper information, so it's fine I guess. tsch

"Mh, I should just write a short comment instead of writing a novel"

// This is a fucking detailed explaination of this shit, even though you can clearly see what it does because I usually write clean code. Also, it's a one-line comment, so have fun side-scrolling

Finally back at home (after having some trouble with Deutsche Bahn).
It is cold and cloudy here.
It feels so weird to use a laptop. I was there (in Turkey) only with my phone, typing this post on my laptop. The screen is so god damn big.
My bed is very soft. My kitten got very strong and fluffy. He looks more muscular now lol. And it seems like he missed us :3.
I missed him and I missed my car that I did not like like a month ago. I really understood how much value it has. Besides of that my mind is clean now. It was like meditation.
Fuck that pussy ass description.
How was your day, fellas?

So in C++ there is no garbage collector to clean up the mess u leave behind?

And now i feel like a garbage collector.... always cleaning up after monkeys... :(

I have always believed that clean code is readable code, and if your code is readable, then it shouldn't require masses of comments to explain it. However, in the course I am being taught, we are being told that in programming, comments are massively important to help another developer understand your code and what it does. So what is the consensus of the dev community?

Do you feel comments are key, or redundant if your code is written well?

Had to look into some old code today and had the "Is this my code?! This can't be my code!? No one else worked on this code, so it must be mine... But, but, it's so... good! And clean! And logical! And well documented! This can't be mine... Can it!? Hey! It works!" moment.

Suprise visit by my mother at my flat. Cute, but please announce it advance so that I can clean my mess 😆

Dear previous dev on this project,

I know that everyone loved you and still admires you for being so nice and having such a great knowledge. Please teach me your ways of achieving this level of popularity while writing big bowls of fucking flying spaghetti monster code with a bunch of hidden bugs and thousands of lines of unit tests that clearly never been used since it is literally impossible to run them thanks to missing mocks and overall bad design.

Teach me so I can become this person who shits big reeking piles in the office in front of everyone and even after leaving people still praise them for being exceptionally clean and sophisticated.

Does anyone get the feeling that as they become more senior, they care less about meeting "best practices" and more of just "good enough"?

Best practices being everything in those books about TDD, unit testing, design patterns, design artifacts.

Good enough: enough so it won't blow up in prod, some tests but not 80-90%, some docs. Basically not like those public docs, open source projects/frameworks where function is covered

When I first started professionally, I was all about efficiency, good design, reducing technical debt, clean code.

But now, I look at problems and instinctively I may make these decisions but I don't really think about it much. First goal is to just get something working, clean it up later... Maybe.

My worst legacy code experience was when I worked as a freelancer and got a tiny job to improve a VBA module in some Excel file for a very big company. So what's worse than VBA? Having to change parts of VBA code that was passed around to other freelancers before like the cheapest dockside whore. After meddling in there for about half an hour I felt like all those cheap ass punter, so I decided to write the whole thing from scratch. What a relief, after 3 hours I was very proud of the thing and it looked clean and well maintained again so I let it back on the streets. 😉
To the coder who comes after me: Please treat her (the code) nice or I will burry you alive in dog poop and burn the whole thing!

(first post/rant on here)
So I recently started at a new company. I was kinda aware that the project I'm working on would be rather old school (to put it in a nice way :-)).

Part of my job is to 'industrialize' and update/clean up the existing code so there is less time spent on fixing bugs due to bad design.

One of the first things I had to do was to write a new interface to integrate with external software.

I already noticed some rather nasty habits, like prefixing every variable with m (don't know why), private fields for every property (all simple properties) and a whole lot of other stuff that either is obsolete or just bad practice.

Started writing clean code (simple classes with properties only, no m prefixing, making sure everything is single responsibility, unit tests, ...).

So I check in the code, don't hear much from it again besides the original dev/architect that started the project using my code to further work on that integration.

Now recently I started converting everything from TFVC to Git (which is the company standard but wasn't used by our team yet). And I quickly skimmed through my code to check if everything was there before pushing it to the remote repo.

To my surprise, all the code I had written was replaced by m prefixed private variables used in simple properties. BL classes were thrown in together, creating giant monstrosities that did everything. And last but not least, all unit tests were commented out.

Not sure what I got myself into ... but the facepalming has commenced.

> Be me
> Wake up
> Have no motivation
> Lay still for a long time
> Go pee
> Go get food
> Up so might as well get ready for school/college
> Go to college
> Chill with the usual peeps
> Maybe get food
> Have a little more motivation because of food and peeps
> Go home
> Do hw if any
> CS:GO with usual peeps
> Clean myself
> aurman -Syu --noconfirm && shutdown now
> Go sleep

!rant
So this is my desk.. really organized and clean as you can see.
Let's start from the left.
That naked motherboard you see is my enterprise grade server running Debian on an intel i3 something with 4GB of ram and a 500gb hdd.
Moving on to the right you can see some flutes (Notice the pink one).
Then there is my beloved laptop running Manjaro Linux with VS code open on a random script.
Following you'll see my BEAST tower pc with lovely RGB keyboard and mouse and another random project open.
And I guess that is it. Enjoy

I had to write a script to clean some crap from a database.
In particular it had some records containing multiple names and I had to split them.
It was really a nightmare because the separator was not always the same, e.g. "John, Mark and Bob" or "Alice+Mary".
«Ok, let's use a fucking regex: ",|(and)|\\+|/|&"»
Then, I realized there were some "Alessandro" in the database. Yeah, Aless(and)ro. Shit.
So I had eventually added more crap into the database.

What books do you guys recommend?
So far I read:
1. The Clean Architecture
2. Microservices Architecture (50% done, should be done in a week or two max)

I'm thinking of reading next:
Domain Driven Development

What do you think?

Internet access at the new Uni is crap. I'm getting so pissed at this shit...
Packet loss spikes to over 50% every 30s or so. Can't keep a single SSH pipe open for longer than a minute. Firewall is so tight infrared light wouldn't get through that shit (understandable. And I use a VPN anyway).
And every. Single. AP. Uses. The. Same. Channel. All of them on 6. At least it's on a tight band... But 1 and 11 are free. 100% clean. You know, you could spread them a bit. That helps. But naaah let's keep everything bundled up. Co-channel interference is OK, right?

I just don't understand. why is it so fast to destroy the arrangement. and took it so long to clean it up

After a failed brew.sh upgrade none of the nodejs packets were working anymore. I've spent the whole day googlling, reinstalling, cursing, asking for help, crying - without luck.

My boss got angry because he wanted that site yesterday.

Now i'm forced to clean install my mac tonight. I'm so tired.
Fuck!

Don't reuse your fixtures!

Each test case should be isolated. Don't ever think just because some function requires a similar input, it's safe to reuse it ALL OVER THE PLACE.

Why? Because someday, you want to change one functionality of one unit.

And you adapt your tests, fix your code, and suddenly, by changing one fixture, you break dozens if not hundreds of unrelated tests and now you have to clean up that mess.

It's even worse for functional tests with all those interwoven parts so that it becomes hard to reason about the scope of your tests when lacking proper documentation.

How I know? BECAUSE I AM CLEANING UP YOUR MESS RIGHT NOW!

The good and bads of Seoul subway system

So the subway here is clean.
Yes. Clean.
1000% cleaner than the one in Paris.
And it is super cool here.
Awesome air conditioning available here.

But, it isnt friendly to foreigners. They cant understand most of the announcement. Why? B'cuz it is mostly in Korean.

So today i experienced some foreigner desperately looking for help.

Our subway needed some quick fox or rest or whatever, so it had to stop and go to the garage(?).
If that happens, all passengers should get off the train.

B'cuz the announcement was in korean only, he was the only one who stayed in the train.

I wanted to go to him and say to come out, but because there was so many people around me, i just beckoned him to come out. He did.

I just felt sorry for no reason.

I mean, just.

(PSA: serious replies to this kind of wk tag might be best suited under Random)

"The way you've done this seems much less complicated that what I would've come up with."

"You've been reading Clean Code?"

"I didn't think that was possible, nice."

And finally, the most extreme one:

"Can you print this code for me so I can hang it on my wall of good code?"

So I'm about to finish The Design of Everyday things by Don Norman and I have Clean Code coming up next.

But what are some good programming books that are tech agnostic?

Found this beautiful piece of code, that I wrote apparently a year ago .... oh my 😂 🤦‍♂ 😅
If I could travel back in time, I would would slap myself for doing this. Although I remember, why I did this, because of many min()/max() operations that I needed. I wanted to keep the code, so that I would know, which code piece belonged to which part, but man ... is that badly written! Nowadays with Clean Code style, I would certainly do it differently.

OMFG, my upper back is so painfully stiff that I can't even breathe in w/o feeling like two knives are stabbed right between my shoulder blades.

And the weather outside is sooo excellent - first snow this season and it's so white and clean all around. A child inside me already has his mittens and warm boots on and impatiently waiting at the door to get outside to play with the snow.

And I'm supposed to somehow concentrate on work.

Question

What server monitoring do you use, both for statistics and security?

--------------------
tl;dr ends here

Ideally I would like to have one clean dashboard that shows me all the nodes I have, proxmox already offers a great range of stats - but it is a page per container etc. so not ideal, I thought of having datadoghq, but their per host pricing is huge, since I have more than 5 hosts to track.

Been using linux for over 10 years, just got so-called-fast-no-windows-defender-no-bloatware-completely-revamped-clean-and-resource-efficient Windows 10 Lite poromotion by 3 close friends. we are now enemies.

So I did a clean Windows 10 restore recently on my laptop from Insider program to just Anniversary Update . Went away from my computer for a day or so by the time I got updates completed and Visual Studio up and running. So earlier today I went to start back up development on a project of mine to come across the emulators not working. The thing is that I lost 6 hrs of production to figure this out. I tried everything possible so I gave up and reinstalled VS to just remember I forgot to turn on my Hyper-V in BIOS setting. So I'm half way in VS reinstalling and I can't do anything about it. GOD FUCKEN DAMMIT W10!

Imagine.

You have a beard. You are in a restaurants toilet. The beard likes to eat half of the meal itself. You want to clean your beard, so you sprinkle your beard. Now its clean and beautiful. Then you realise - there is only one of those air dryers. You are screwed.

Me: does literally anything
Npm: breaks

Why NPM? Why must you do it? This is the third time this week on a third system. I just wanted to update so my packages would work. But nooooooo. Oh you wanna update? It'd be a real shame if I, I don't know, didn't update properly whatsoever and all of a sudden couldn't find any internal modules I need to run.

"Just use npm i npm@latest"

Yeah I would except for the whole I can't use NPM at all thing. even npm -v breaks. Can't find internal module. So I literally have to wipe eveey trace of npm/node and do a clean install.

It's so frustrating! I can't do any work because I spend all my damn time fuckin around with NPM.

Spent ten plus years professionally coding, used c, go , python, openwhisk ,docker, kubernetes and God know what else. Now I have to convince those team members who coded so far in their free time that write fucking clean code, avoid dependency on distributed and hard coded configuration, how to build a product
Fuck my life

When I was in my final year of B.Tech.
There we had to do one major project so me and my friend both decided to build QUERA project for college. So as planned we informed to our superior and we got clean chit.
But later on we didn't know what to do??
That time my friend also didn't have programming awareness so days were going on. And the final month came and till then no progress.
My F was suggesting for purchase.
I was little bit worried too.
Then I had decided to build.
So me alone started building without any copying of templates from web(Actually at that time I didn't know that we can copy templates from web) so stupidly I was building templates using HTML and CSS. Parallely I was doing with php and phpmyadmin(SQL queries).
Seriously it was in PHP.
So this was running for approximately 14 days.
And believe me in that 14 days I was just doing project with all this stuff (obviously eating & 5 hrs sleep).

So, here the fun came

I was near to completion of my project but on last day I was not feeling well so I went to medical for some tablets.

And you know what, I was applying CSS in my mind on that tablet cover which was in rectangular shape.

Literally I was applying :D

Finally, I submitted project and got A+ for that.
Happy ending!

>mvn clean install
[ERROR] Bruh, couldn't find any of these classes you're talking about.
>mvn clean install
[INFO] The job has completed without errors.

Seriously, why is Java/Maven/Spring so temperamental. It's like it has to be in a good mood to compile for me.

So true ...

"Many developers on a schedule aren't making efforts to write clean and efficient code, relying on idiot-proof languages (and consequently more RAM and faster processors) to make up for their malaise."

- a split keyboard with a touchpad in the middle that will let you control all gestures on a computer

- a set of desk/monitors that adjusts perfectly for ergo for anyone

- a vertical laptop dock that is modular so you can add extra memory/video processing power and only using your laptop as a CPU/secondary graphics card

- a set of kitchenware and plates that would be so easy to clean and would never get stained

-an insect home alarm system that tells you where the fucking insect is so it doesn't take you by surprise/you can call someone to remove it

- a clothing brand that has a buy one gift one operation mechanic, where you buy a shirt and an article is donated to a local charity

- a restaurant

- a simple, yet robust database option that walks users through creating good databases that is super user friendly

- an app that takes tattoo designs in any format, converts them, allows for editing, and then can hook up to a special printer that gives you the transfer you will use on the client

Was playing fallout 4 a couple days ago. About 20 minutes in. The computer just shuts off. Like no power at all. I start up the computer again. Try fallout 4 again. It shuts off at the beginning video. WTF... I try Skyrim wondering if video card is busted. Skyrim runs perfectly fine. I startup Fallout 4 again. It runs. WTF...

Next day I try fallout and bout 20 minutes in power off again. Now I am assuming cooling issue and I am trying to see temps with programs. Cannot really tell.

So today I take apart my laptop and vacuum every cooling orifice out. Vacuum any dust looking crap I can see. There was dust in the fans. All clean. I run a memory test for a couple hours. Memory passes (it was brand new memory, thought maybe flaw in ram). Now I run fallout 4. Runs fine, zero issues for about an hour.

Me to myself: CLEAN YOUR DAMN COMPUTER MORE OFTEN! Okay...

In between I read about Fallout 4 causing system reboots and shutdowns due to loading and heating. Apparently something about Fallout 4 causes this more than other games. Wild... Pretty sure it was thermal shutdown protection going on.

I lost 2TB of family photos and videos a few years ago by dropping a single hard drive. Nearly all of it was later found on people's computers who forgot to clean them up when we got the NAS. I'm not so eager to delete data once it's backed up ever since.

I always feel inspired by programming when I create some algorithms or programs which I can use when I need to.

Small utilities and command line programs r what I make at times... and I also enjoy trying to implement them awesome algorithms 😍

However, most inspiration I get is from looking at C code though ( especially the Linux kernel... that code is SO clean 😍😍 )

It's my yearly cleanup day, when I fully nuke down my windows installation, to clean out all the installed trash and residue.

Have moved all important data and I will be ready to fully refresh my computer as soon as it syncs, heres the question though.

I decided this time I'll create a dev vm, so I can just each time reset to point 0 and also because I miss having local development.

What new linux distros or flavours are out there that would be worth looking at? (I saw things like ubuntu budgie being mentioned)

If you use it and it doesnt break if I sneeze, mention it, I am open to getting to know other environments, even if its not my usual debian homeplace.

So while everyone is posting their devdesk, here I'm contemplating whether to clean or buy new or just roll back and ignore I have never seen this.

I'm in a mudaphuking closed air conditioning room. Where did all this came from?

Best: chief university lab position, 12 yrs as a 👨‍🏫 system engineer teacher, really need a break, updating me as a pro.

Worst: last chief just left email with CISCO passwords. No F* VLANS reference, no technical manual, deleted all Sh* documents on PC.

So I about 4 days no internet on university, reseted 25+ CISCO switches, reorganizing fibers, all week 💤 6am-11pm or more. VTP server core nice and clean, nice VLans, ClearOS formated an licensed, ubnt portal for Wifi.

December, organizing all the administrative stuff. We are back stable and documenting. Moving and painting office, delegation of staff.

Now in vacations with a “tepache 🍻 “ 🍍

Do you agree?

Junior: What are comments

Mid-level: Hah! My code is so clean, I don't NEED comments!

Senior: comments comments comments comments comments comments comments comments comments comments comments comments comme-...

I'm looking at someone's shit code... and I have to remind myself... we all have the ability to be fucking stupid, especially when we're trying to do something in order to do something else so that we can do something else.

note to self: "always remember, they did the best they could with the resources they had at the time".

But that doesn't change the fact that I need to clean up the crap they left behind.

Finally switching to single boot linux. I had to keep my double boot windows because I needed it for few classes in school.
I passed all of them (at least I think so)

I love the purity of clean install after chaotic setup.

Let's face it: I am and will always be a tinkerer. Yes, I know my ways around, I can sneak into legacy code bases easily and throw new stuff in there, I've seen software stacks. But scarcely sound design, really modular. Even from the cleverer, experienced ones. They can master more complexity, so they can handle more spaghetti. Some essay from the 80's had this grand idea to organically 'grow' software. That's how it looks like most of the times: cancerous, parasitic super fungi (armillaria). Yeah, we all know have to fight bit-rot and entropy, but it was all lost before already. We'll never get rid of legacy protocols, legacy code.
And even when we go green field, start a fresh. Yeah, take a great design, make everything new, after some months of throwing features and outer constraints at the thing, it's the same old mud again.
But we can still dream on: some day I will design great APIs, I will have great test coverage, documentation, UML design, autometed tests, fuzzing, memchecking, I'll work professionally, clean coder style.
Pfft forget it. Maybe change for consulting, because we'll continue to dream of the 'clean' code, so you can sell the next 'recipe', development method. It's like diets. As effective. For the one selling.

Since I've started writing in clojurescript a 1.5 yrs ago, I can barely look at JavaScript.
I started to realise how ugly it is.
Seriously waiting to the day browsers will work with clojurescript out of the box, without the need to compile.

The language is so clean, clear, easy and data oriented, I find it hard to go back to js.
Also, the docs are much better.

Long live concurrency !

How to fuck a web developer:
1- Introduce a shiny new shitty web component that is nearly impossible to figure out how to change it’s fucking background color, yeah.
Welcome everyone to 2019 why even it was so easy to change and customize your own shit, let’s just introduce thaaa faaacking web components and fuck everyone else. Let everyone learn again how to do the simplest shit ever.
Yes fuck everyone that is used to change and customize in an easy way.
“yUo wAnT uS nOt tO UsE SoC anD cLEan koOde?”
No no no. We will fuck you instead.

There are a couple of things I like to do before sitting down to code for the first time on a project. Throughout all of this I'm (sometimes unconsciously) planning out the project.

- Clean the house;
- Buy groceries;
- Buy/prepare food & eat;
- Arrange everything on my desk so that everything looks slick as fuck;
- Actually sit down to do something;
- Realize it's past midnight;
- Go to sleep.

Sometimes I wonder if I have OCD...

Public Service Request to Users from Tokyo and those with good knowledge in buying keyboards.

Which retail shop sell tenkeyless mechanical keyboard such as HyperX Alloy FPS Pro? With English words not Japanese 😬

I can't find it at my country and my gf is currently at Tokyo for a training, so.

On further note, I'm looking for a keyboard with following requirements. Would appreciate your recommendation.
- without numpad
- standard qwerty layout (US/UK)
- backlit (any color, as long as keys are visible in dark)
- USB wired
- easy to clean and maintain
- must last for more than 3 years

Worst prod scenario experienced - on site in small African country working on CRM/billing system my colleague was testing some new SQL and after finishing decided to drop and recreate the DB. She thinks the process is very slow and suddenly realizes she is dropping the prod DB. In a panic she shuts down the system and starts doing a restore from tape, but is so stressed out she writes "tar cv" instead of "tar xv" and overwrites the backup with the broken DB. Took a while to clean that one up...

// O(n²) complexity
for(x;y;z){
for(a;b;c){
}
}

Dev's argument: "We use this everywhere, as long as it gets the job done! Time is money!" How ironic..

So you would rather make your processing speed suffer for the sake of saving time? No, clean code doesn't matter. No, we should not waste time spending even a mere microsecond thinking about writing better code or at least consider it. No, we should just vomit out bad code at top speed. Good idea, guys. Idiots everywhere..

Late night kaggle session, and I'm enjoying how cute and clean this dataset is!

I'm jealous if data scientists always get to work with such neat sets! Dude! I got .95 acc without any effort! This is so... Weird. 🤔

I fucking enjoy writing python code, how can a language be so elegant, clean and perfect?

I hate so very much about so very many things, I forget some of the things I love.
And what I love is small lines of code that reveal something about their developer. This? This I love to see.

Some guy here studied C at university, decided he liked it so much he would port it over to JS. Absolutely pointless effort, but he decided he would do it nonetheless. The code is clean, documented, just with this little quirk and I'm honestly smiling. You rock, buddy, whoever you are.

Seen some screenshots of Notion. It's like airtable meets wiki, without dealing with markup.
It's very clean, and their use of templates is very intuitive, as is creating new templates.

Their offerings, even for new users, are also very generous.

Anyone used notion and if so, what did you think of it?

ML Dude: “Hey see what I did with this python code. It is so clean and dope”
Business Boss: “Well Done.”
ML Dude: “It is a nice approach don’t you think.”
Business Boss: “How does this put a money in my business account?”
ML Dude: “Ehmmmm”

OH MAH GAWD, FUCK ECLIPSE.

Just thank you so much Eclipse, for executing the entire build pipeline instead of running the last configuration.

Thank you so so much for considerately forcing me to clean upon every change to the codebase, also obliterating reliable hot code replace.

Special thanks for letting me clean once more, after the pipeline finished.

And thank you for the search bug, where all CTRL+H searches result in an error message, even though the search is being conducted.

Just go fucking die, you tremendous piece of garbage.

So I actually prefer npm to most other package managers (with the exception of go's package handling).
Like you need to look no further than to pip's hell of package management, to start appreciating how clean npm is.
***Shots fired***

Today, my macbook pro 2020 get spilled with my ice coke, i am just looking at the laptop, take some tissue to clean it, and waiting for my mac is getting up again. Feel so sad and very fcking stupid 😭

I remember I couldn't compile a clean Xamarin Forms project on Visual Studio because of a System.TimeZoneInfoNotFoundException. The workaround?, changed my time zone to Central time USA-Canada. So apparently it is not allowed to use Xamarin in the third world...

Swear work is where you I go to fix other peoples poor design decisions and clean up the bullshit that comes out of said decisions.

CANT!
BE!
FUCKED!

How you have so many years experience and still design in way that ensures that maintenance /improvements/touching in the future is a huuugggeee clusterfuck.

Hey, I got an idea, lets make this whole data warehouse without a single index or primary key cos you know, that's the Kimball Method.

I always do reformatting my code to keep it clean and readable, so I have a reflex of doing it a lot of time.

Even on a file with thousand of lines with several persons working on it

but I hate to see that in my changes, 95% of my changes are random tabs that my auto reformatting erases.

A story from the old days

My father had a fame around he's friends that he understood this nasty business that is computers and in the pre-windows time he was reasonably knowledgeable... But as things evolved he didn't evolve with them so when he's friends asked him to help he would take me to solve the problem...

One day he asked me to see what was the problem with a friend's personal computer. This is a 70+ year old man.

When I get to his computer I do a quick check and see it's too infected with so many viruses to the point it is better to just format and clean install, so I ask him to backup he's files and the next day I picked up the PC and clean installed and setup the all thing...

Not more than 3 months pass and the guy says to my dad the problem was back...

I get there and the antivirus was turned off and the PC was infected... Found it weird but okay, enabled the antivirus, cleaned everything... Back to as new.... This time I instructed him to keep the antivirus always updated and running...

One week later to my surprise: he reports it is all back... Now I am getting tired of this and went to he's browsing history to find out how the hell he is achieving this... Too my surprise the amount of early internet shady porn sites was over the top...

I know had to tell a 70+ year old man how to safely watch porn... But that is not my problem, so I ask him what kind of sites he's going to... He blames he's grandson for using the internet in he's computer... Only problem: he's grandson is 2 years old...

I just set up the bookmarks with some children sites and convinced my father to take a look at that and either instruct the man or the kid on how to watch porn without getting a venereal disease...

Time for some bad puns I made up with my coworker when we were stuck in traffic. Got any dev puns of your own? Share them here!

Why is it called Python if it isn't a snake?
Why is it called Ruby if I can't put it on my jewellery?
Why is it called Rust if it's so clean?
Why is it called Go if it stays in the same place?
Why is it called Perl if it's so ugly?
Why is it called C# if I can't write music with it?
Why can't I drink Java?

Looked up at the clock... 2 AM... Thought about giving up and going to sleep, but something kept me there...

Rewrote my encoder and decoder for my steganography program, which are used to insert and retrieve data respectively from images. Compiled, ran, and output was as expected!

Tried to write actual data, instead of just headers, to the image, and it broke... Of course it wouldn't work first try, it's me writing the code after all.

But then, after debugging for a while and changing a couple lines, the encoder looked like it had done its work properly. Then I decoded it, and voila, data completely recovered! It almost felt too magical to be true, usually I have to modify a lot more to get it working.

So now I'm in bed, after literally decimating the memory usage of the program, amongst other optimizations, and I know that the code works perfectly 😎 best part is I refactored each class down to 100 lines each, so now it's clean and dense 😇

Just had to share, feeling so good right now 😄

My grandparent once wanted me to fix their tablet which they said had a virus. I couldn't find anything so I went to the web browser. A tab was up which said "Your Android has 5 viruses please download our antivirus to clean your phone"

It had the fake gif flashing alerts and whatnot so I simply closed out of the tab and deleted all of the recent "antiviruses" which had been downloaded

To this day they think I'm a technical genius for the easiest "fix" I've ever done.

Oh and merry Christmas everybody! I'm new here but it seems like a great community of people :)

Have been pissed at the guy who wrote the js on the project im working on (its just so messy!). Same project has python scripts I need to look at to squash a bug, and this. code. is. so. clean. They should have let this guy write everything in python. Im ashamed I ever hated on him.

I don't understand the hype with blockchain.... Everything at the end relies on a huge network of miners which uses a whole lot of resources and energy right?

So isn't the cost of running one of these extremely high? And well another source for pollution, climate change? The hardware isn't running on clean energy I think?

So here's mine!

It's a github for the more artistic; a place for designers, photographers, and stylists to post their work. You can choose to make your work interactive, so others can comment, or you can simply present your work. A professional option is given to present your work in a professional, clean manner with a short URl to attach to a CV or such.
Users choose whether to release their work under Creative Commons, or which attributes they wish, so students can use them in their research.
It also serves as a community and a place to collaborate.

I recently started on a project, in WP though, but I strongly believe the dev is an imbecile. He's no longer with us (thank god)

Doesn't remove old code, just comments it out, or leave the file there. He loved to use and rewrite plugins, so you can't update them.

I removed this one particular plugin, which seemed to hold the website together, because when I removed it, all the suppressed errors suddenly popped up.
I've used 3 days to clean up the code

Did I say that there's a .scss file for the site, but it's written as normal css and the output .css file has also been changed, so I can't clean the scss file and compile it, because that fucks up the css file =}

How do you remove oily keys on keyboard?

What I’ve tried so far are rub it using a pencil eraser and clean it using cotton with alcohol.
Damn. I’m having a hard time to remove it.

Things I wish I knew when I was younger:
- no matter how clean your teeth are, bad breath won't go away until you clean your tongue. Buy a tongue cleaner and use it after you brush your teeth
- whitening toothpastes don't work, while desensitizing ones work well.
- after you brush your teeth, spit but do NOT rinse!
- when brushing your teeth, keep the toothbrush angled 45 degrees. The bristle ends should touch the area where your gums meet your teeth.
- use sunscreen every morning.
- don't waste money on acne-treating products unless they contain salicylic acid, benzoyl peroxide, tretinoin or adapalene.
- if you want to lose weight, you have to eat MORE, not less. But, that “more” should be protein.
- showering every morning feels like “humanity restored” thing from Dark Souls. Also, clean your damn room and wash your damn windows.
- APS-C DSLR cameras make no sense. For their weight, you can get a full-frame camera, and for their price you can get an APS-C mirrorless cam that will be way lighter.
- If you want a damn thing, save up and buy that damn thing. Don't buy the alternative thing you don't want. You'll be asking “what if” till you either die or buy the original damn thing.
- people aren't replaceable, but many people can fit their designated role. Not being able to replace your ex-boyfriend with his exact copy doesn't mean no one else can be your boyfriend.
- try a MacBook & iPhone as soon as you can to check whether it's your thing or not, because if it is, oh boy are you in for a treat.
- added sugar is evil, but it's beneficial for the economy. It makes you fat, so you need a car, so you buy fuel. Also, you feel guilty because you're fat, so you buy diet products & things to compensate because you hate your reflection in the mirror. You also pay medical fees to treat your newly developed health problems, and you die a day before retirement. Everyone makes a buck on you eating added sugar but you.
- you can use the freshly removed sticker to remove the sticky residue left by that same sticker.
- static typing doesn't solve jack shit.

We are at the end of the school year, at least in France.

This is my recap of this shitty year.

My school try to teach programming, and that’s just a try.

Some of the dudes do not event know what a variable was.

For a second year university diploma, they don’t teach OOP, no Git, no DP, no JS, no clean code or whatever.

So at the end of the year, you’ll be able to code in procedural, no versioning, spaghetti code and a big mess in folder structure, lack of interactivity because of poor JS knowledge.

Well a codebase which makes you crying blood, literally.

And that’s what a second year university diploma ...

Fortunately for the most curious there’s so much to learn out of the school but, damn, why are some schools so retarded ?
For almost 8k€/year you just receive a piece of paper and you’re still a shit in your *suppose to be* job.

TEST, TEST AND TEST ASSHOLE

OUR PROJECT IS GETTING BIGGER AND START TEST YOUR FUCKING CODE SO I DONT HAVE TO CLEAN UP THE WHOLE FUCKING MESS

FUCKERS

!dev
People these days...
At a bakery 3 girls didn't bother to clean up after themselves although the only thing left to do was to t aske the tray and dump it's contents into the trash can WHICH IS ON THEIR WAY OUT. Yeah but have enough time to cake on rediculous amounts of makeup...

Someone literally shat at the tram stop at the main station so whenever took leave the tram you might just step into it.

Then there are always those religious people trying to hand out pamplets about how great their religion is and how much it is helping- they stand right next to a crippled homeless begger.

Just wow.

!dev
TIL: If you want to use SodaStream the you better RTFM... Fuck, there is water everywhere and I really don't have the time to clean up the mess because there is so much work to be done today...

Flask people
so I was given this old flask project, around 3k lines written in py2, the code is simply old and not refactored. So, it's pile of shit. Migrations completely botched as the original author created reference to live data in models.
Very strict line formatting resulting in backslashed ternary conditions.
Even saw manually formatted json responses... _line by line_.

My job is to clean this mess and eventually do as much as possible to freshen the whole project.
Currently just refucktoring the code as it's the only easy thing to do out of everything that could be done (it's still slow process).

Any tricks and tips? currently considering to try upgrading it to py3 but it feels like throwing gunpowder into already burning house.

So in our last retros some of my colleagues suggested to (forced) limit the number of lines per method in order to "maximize our code quality".

In the one hand I can see the benefits of this, such as easier testability when having more sperate testable blocks of logic.

But on the other side their code contains lots of such one or two lines private methods which get most of the cases not more than one time called. (And which I then can't even test separately)

I don't understand how this should help...
Is this really a thing? Am I just not "clean" enough?
(it's c# btw)

be me, just casually watching a cs:go fragmovie. there's always 10 seconds of ads before those, so i use the time to sip some coffee. at that second, i hear the following words..

"The first ever blockchain gaming marketplace in history"

...now i need to clean my keyboard.

Best way to deal with office politics?

As background: we have our own implementation of some C++ data structures, including an "Array" class (basically the same as std::vector).

A few years ago, the senior guys on my team refused to add new features to it for (seemingly) no good reason.

So senior guys from another team added the features anyways, in THEIR repo.

My team couldn't stop them, but refused to allow the new features in OUR repo, so now our Array is split between two repos for no good reason 😢.

Two years later, here I am, hoping to clean this up. As far as anyone knows, there's no good reason to have it split up like this.

How do i convince my team that we should move the code to OUR repo where it belongs?

So apparently not a bad idea to clean up your folders every once in a while. Just cleaned about 120GB, mostly by deleting things from my downloads folder

Does anyone else think some of the Sonar rules are actually crap?

In particular the Put all you variables above methods one?

I have some static methods and variables and some object ones.

Apart from creating a new class for them which I think is over kill for just a few helper methods, don't you feel you should keep all static stuff separate?

Clean code shouldn't be about following arbitrary debatable rules, it should be preventing the horrible crap that any experienced developer would instantly call shit... If he didn't write it.

And I'm pretty sure I'm experienced so if I'm not calling a price of code shit...I don't see why Sonar should...

I like a clean Mac so I'll have to find a different place to slap these stickers on, but they're here!

"There is a reason that we keep our variables private. We don’t want anyone else to depend on them. We want to keep the freedom to change their type or implementation on a whim or an impulse. Why, then, do so many programmers automatically add getters and setters to their objects, exposing their private variables as if they were public?"
-Uncle Bob, Clean Code.

I've been running Xubuntu for a while now and decided to try out Ubuntu's latest release.
So I backup my home and workspace directories by compressing them into archives and deciding to move them to another partition.
Long story short, I wiped my partition and did a clean install only to realize a little later that I had moved the backups in only my mind and not on the laptop 😭😭
That is how I lost all my local projects (the ones I hadn't pushed)
Well fuck me😒

If your project gets fucked up beyond repair, for example by your IDE (I'm looking at you, Android Studio) try this:

0. Backup any ignored but essential files in your project (e.g. secrets) outside of your project directory.
1. Close your IDE.
2. git clean -xdf
3. Restore any backed up local files.
4. Reopen the project as a new one in your IDE.

This is awesome, because it cleans up everything non git and not committed. So any local project files configured by your IDE will be nuked, which allows for a clean start. Also, all your locally committed work is preserved.

BTW, if you really need to start over (even with git), then just remove all the things an clone the remote repo again.

Our original backend codebase used so-called "clean architecture" and really put the Java back in JavaScript (actually TypeScript, but hopefully you get my meaning).

For every endpoint I want to create, our design needs at least two classes that are basically callable singletons. If my understanding doesn't fail me, it could have been simple old functions... I think?

Can someone help me?
I want to program games, (2d & 3d) I have made games in clickteam and RPG Maker, but I want to program them. My biggest issue is my hardware. I have a not so powerful notebook, and I don't have Wifi. So online installers are off the table. (Nono, visual studio.) Syntax, I like clean, easy to read syntax, and I would like an active community. Any suggestions?

So I had a discussion now with my mom about my work and it turned into a rant. But I came to this conclusion:

My most effective way to screen candidates for a backend/fullstack tech job would be to ask them what are the most influential programming books they have read and why.

If they don't mention any books (or points covered in these books) in this list, they immediately fail:
-the effective engineer
-clean coder
-code complete
-team geek
-the Phoenix project

Another team didn't bother testing their code correctly, they passed us invalid values that another microservice needs, as a result they have a bunch of unstored data (that they would have seen wasn't being stored if they bothered checking the last stage of the process to see if it was stored). Now it's been so long that the data is expired. They want us to manually store millions of transactions for them.

Now tell me...if I came and shit in your bed, shouldn't I have to clean it up?

Well it's about my B.Tech project.
I had windows 7 and I had lots of imp data along with my project and I hadn't taken any backup of my project(not even report copy). So after successful completion of my project I thought let's play with OS and try other OS and that time I had rare awareness about data and OS too.

So I had copied my imp data(mainly friends party pics) into my friend's external HDD and I thought yeah I have clean chit now and literally I forgot about my project which was in C:/ drive.

So happily I had done experiments and enjoyed a lot and one day my my project partner asked about project copy and I had just given a smile.
RIP.
Happy Ending :D

I feel like some developers focus too much on concepts like clean code, software craftsmanship, TDD and so forth, to a point where they almost forget end user needs (ease of use, intuitive experiences, general UX principles).
Don’t get me wrong. I do my best to stick to a decent standard of quality and maintainability. However my solutions are adapted to the specific needs that are being addressed rather than the other way around.
I’ve heard some devs say things to the effect of ”well I know that’s not most intuitive behavior for the user but it’s the cleaner way to do it, so the user will just have to figure it out“. So in essence they’re just coding for their own pleasure rather than addressing user needs

So for a side project, I had to understand the reasoning of a former project for this one. I was told it's the most clean and the most reliable I could get.

I scroll in the classes developed, then suddendly in a comment :

"TODO : Hardcoded for now, will be expected to change"

oh fuck me.

So, in C#, are there any tips or guidelines as to how to write "clean" multiline strings? I mean, imo it doesn't look as neat when the code looks like:

static string kindOfLongVariableName = @"First line of string.
Second line of string...";

With the first line sort of hovering on the side. What I'm used to is with Python where you can just:

variable_name = """'\
First line.
Second line.
"""

And use the '\' to escape the newline, but that obviously doesn't work in C#. Can anyone point me in a direction to start looking? The docs are a bit confusing and not very beginner friendly. :/

Hot take:

Want to bloat the shit out of your product and want to lose the core USP?

Want to stop solving the problem you set out to address?

HIRE A PRODUCT MANAGER.

PMs are expert at shit show. We fuck up everything.

God I hate my profession.

When I start my company, the mandatory rule for every PM will be that if you want to add or enhance a feature, they will have to remove a feature. Whoever fails to do so will be punished by having to clean up the code base and work in sales for a quarter.

!rant

So Today I decided to Learn on React native, something during set up. Decided To clean Node_modules , the file size is 34.45GB

(o.O) WTF ?

I am not a big fan of Node Js or react, Can Someone explain to me why the file is so large?

if AI is so smart why doesn't it clean its own data, eh?!

So are we living in the time where new programmer are no longer care know how to code effective and clean code because of libraries out there OVERSIMPLIFIED it?

Yesterday, I was expecting my merge request to be closed.
I've done all the stuff my tech lead told me to do.

All tests passes, green light boyzzzzz.
Gitlab CI pipeline passes, greeeeeen light I said.

In Jenkins everything f*cked up...

Why ??

Well it was a conflict with 3 other MRs, missing rebase from other dudes.

And because they were remote working, got to clean up all this mess.

That's was a day off.

PS : well that's was not so off, I could fix a UB on a ternary and extend a test which was not covering some cases.

PS2 : learn git damn

I managed to clean up the React part of my project, and now everything is smooth AF *.*
But boy oh boy did I fuck up big time, any console.log() written under the render section of anywhere was triggered around 4 times! I still have to rebuild everything (I only finished the dashboard so far) but it will be cleaner that I could ever hope

for the life of me I cannot figure out in my mind how to structure this project I want to start, and jumping right into coding does not improve this mental block.

At work this Golang code base has a clean architecture, so easy to maintain and extend, and I'm unable to replicate it on my own project(s). It sucks to be an ignorant.