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Yo mama's so fat that if she sat on a binary tree she will convert it into a linked list in O(1) time5
-
Yo dawg, check out my fresh pimped homeoffice!
I have been a developer since I was 13 and this is the first time ever I feel complete :) Wish all of you even a better one than mine!
76 -
"Aah, time to make a new Android app"
*starts Android Studio*
AS: "Yo yo yo, before you proceed, update all these 512 things in your SDK"
*creates a new Activity*
AS: "Nuh uh, this shit won't work without this, install it"
*runs app on emulator*
AS: "Hoooold your horses, you need to install this, and this, and update this and this.. oh and also that"
*emulator finally runs, app crashes*
AS: "Ohh, ha ha, oopsies, your Gradle config is also screwed up, change every dependency to the newest version and then update them all"
*config finally done, runs again*
AS: "Umm, I am too lazy to sync it myself, so you must press the nice big button on top to sync it"
"Fuck this"
*closes Android Studio*
AS: "WAAAIT WAIT, before you go, a new Android update just showed up, you must upd..."
*alt+f4*5 -
Yo dawg, we heard you like news. So we put more news in your news, so you can news while you news.
1 -
Drug dealer : yo, you code right?
Me: yeah, why
Drug dealer: can you hack into the police station.. You know, see if they are checking me out.. If they know I'm dealing.. I'll just move
(I've never hacked but I know i could learn if I have to)
Me:... That's actually brilliant
I love in a small town at the moment.. I bet the police security is a joke
Kinda high risk though20 -
If your IDE found
10 errors
and 47 warns
would you correct them
or let them slip.
YO ...
His palms are sweaty
Knees weak, arms are heavy
The tests are failing already
Code spaghetti.
He's nervous,
But at his laptop he looks calm and ready
To squash bugs
But he keeps on forgetting
What he wrote down, the whole team goes so loud
He opens his file, but the code won't come out
He's chokin', how, everybody's jokin' now
The deadline run out, times up, over, blaow!
Snap back to reality, oh there goes file integrity
Oh, there goes documentation, he choked
He's so mad, but he won't give up that easy? No
He won't have it, he knows his whole header's code
It don't matter, he's dope, he knows that, but he's broke
He's so stacked that he knows, when he goes back to his mobile home, that's when its
Back to the office again yo, this whole rhapsody
He better go capture this moment and hope it don't pass him
Note: All credits to the original owners of these phrases.5 -
Stumbled upon this old gold on reddit. If I tell you that my monitor is now not covered in accidentally spat out espresso, I'd be lying. 😂😂😂
2 -
Me: tried to HTML like a sad anime girl
(someone spots me)
Dude: yo you're good (I'm just making a bouncing ball in HTML in peace) wanna join our group?
Me: uh sure
(Finds out I just entered a coding competition group going to be sent somewhere minutes later after being added to the Telegram group)
Fuck me3 -
Client: site is not compatible with IE11
QA: yo devs, site is not compatible with IE11
Devs: who the f*ck uses IE11?!5 -
Hide yo' wives and yo' onanism, the haxors are cumin... i mean, coming for you!
Found on Reddit :D
10 -
Fren : Yo make me a bot
Me: Hell nah
Fren: I'll pay u
Me: When do we start
Fren: nvm found someone else lol
,w,5 -
Yo!
I went to see my mother a few days, and her TV's broken.
She told me to repair it, because "you're a programmer"
Does anybody knows a python function or a useful library that could repair TV ?5 -
"I put in a request last week, why isn't this done yet?! It's an emergency!"
Look up number... Created early 2015. Need by date, late 2019.
Mothertrucker, get yo shit straight. I've been on the phone since 7, I don't have time for these games. How does 2.5 years pass and you say it's been a week?!
....and there goes my phone again1 -
Yo.
His palms are sweaty
Knees weak arms are heavy
Bugs littering his code already
Cold spaghetti 🍝
He’s nervous but on the surface he looks calm and ready to git push
(Hit a blank with thinking of code-related lyrics, anyone got ideas?)16 -
This guy is supposed to be a "spring framework guru"
Yo Mr. Guru, this is not how you write a pom file especially when you are teaching someone who probably is new to programming. Just think if the new guy/girl goes on to write such xml files in the future. What are you even trying to do man.
5 -
>>signs up for GitHub student pack
>>Approved almost instantly
>>Looks at what's included
>>See a .me domain from namecheap is free
>>"yo that's lit. Lemme see if they have one I want"
>>Finds domain
>>"Good shit man. I'll finally have a reason to make my own website"
>>Go to checkout
>>Asks for school email address
>>Enters address
>>"it seems your University is not included in this."
>>Fuck me man10 -
Yo dfox and trogus how are you doing? What's happening around devRant? Any new ideas, changes or troubles? Anything we can help you? How's the situation with the server costs? 🙂
congratulations and thank you for more than 2 years of devrant! 🎉18 -
Yo, his palms are sweaty
knees weak, conscience heavy
There's commits on master already:
Your mom's spaghetti code19 -
Me: wow in really starting to love arch Linux, feels good to be away from Ubuntu!
Ubuntu: Yo! 18.04 is here!
Also me:
2 -
It's weird reading about everyone bitching about their PM / manager, and I'm here and have the best boss anyone can ask for. I work from home whenever I want, if I work extra I can always take that extra time off. If I work weekends I get 100% overtime pay. If I want to learn new tech for a project he tells me to go nuts.
What I'm really trying to say here is.. in all yo faces I guess. \o/13 -
Facebook: *moves a button to the left by 0.0000002 pixels*
Facebook's users (averaging about a billion years old): Yo wtf where'd that button go7 -
me: yo, im kinda low on cash right now, i should save some money and not do any iot projects this month
also me: yo, look at those nfc chips, i got an idea1 -
Yo gods of devRant
Can you keep this as a feature? As a switch or something perhaps? This pixelated avatar is sick!5 -
"Linux has also been ported to itself."
Yo dawg, I heard you liked Linux so I made Linux run on Linux so you can Linux while you Linux...2 -
Yo, to the cuntbag asshat who stole the cord connecting my monitor to my computer at work! Fuck you! I hope you go blind!11
-
I never really used Git or any Source Control before but today I decided yo give it a shot.
IT'S FUCKING AMAZING!!
I fucking love branches!!! I have to change the way an app stores configurations and git makes it incrediblyyy easy without risking fucking up everything in production5 -
Rappers: "Yo dawg check out my mixtape!"
Programmers: "Hey have written this super cool JSON library..." -
Successful startup message on my friends discord bot:
Yo
His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy
There's vomit on his sweater already, mom's spaghetti.
Bot Ready.
😂
https://github.com/nbd9/PastaBot -
Someone posted a picture of a porn actress(like a *new* actress) that looks exactly like my manager.....bruh this is killing me she looks exactly like my manager to the point that it is freaking me out thinking that she has a gig on the side or something
I can't get over this.
This is what happens when your manager is insanely attractive.
Internet wtf.
No i am not posting pictures.55 -
YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT!
I have nothing against teaching and showing someone starting in this field how to do things but FOR FUCKS SAKE, PUT INTEREST IN IT, I WON'T DO YOUR FUCKING JOB, I HAVE MY JOB, YO DO YOURS.
Jesus...fucking Christ, these kind of people always get on my nerves.2 -
devrant is not stackoverflow people. stop copying and pasting rants. It's likely we've seen it before. You're devs, use yo brains. #rant4rant #ctrlCctrlV1
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yo guys! im making a raspberry pi claw machine and thought it would be fun to log my progress as i go along, so i made a blog post explaining how to build one! if anyone wants to check it out, you can find it at http://www.alexdovzhanyn.com/blog/1
10 -
Client: Yo, there's like a 30k difference between the invoices in the application and paypal.
CTO: Yeah, that's really sad. Btw, did you know that our payment gateway supports credit cards, which won't be shown in paypal?
I'm writing this in a funny tone, but I was the person who basically implemented every aspect of accounting in that application, so I praying silently 😅1 -
Yo Guys🤓...Check out this game that I made as a part of learning Javascript. A simple combination of a 2d platformer and Flappy Bird.
Made it in like a month...Proud of me...
Tell me if you like it I want to work more on it...😆
http://superjump.azurewebsites.net
6 -
Was trying out React Native and creating a Hello World, I checked the file size and it was about 465mb, and I just thought it was nonsense, then I checked the size of the node module and it was 465mb...smh
god damn node modules man!7 -
So I have BiPolar and Borderline Personality Disorder and had an interview today. We'll I slept in and missed it. My psychiatrist recently changed my meds to help stabilize me. Now I'm up for 2-3 days before I sleep. I timed it so I would be awake, but ended up falling asleep and woke up a half hour after I was supposed yo be there. I'm so pissed off right now! I've been working my ass of learning to code, buy my own brain is sabotaging me. I just want to be a normal person with a normal job. I love programming because I get to be by myself and work away from customers. I'm so frustrated and feel beat down. I don't know what yo do. 😠😤😡8
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There's only a fine line between a critical issue and a dramatic client.
And by fine, I mean (the size of yo momma + the distance between earth and mars) / the teeny weeny fraction of the fucks that I give.3 -
A while back, my little cousin (he’s 5 yo) came to visit me at home doing some coding, he asked me to teach him how to code, he wanted to make games for his friends to play, he is now learning Scratch and I’m planning to teach him Python next.6
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11:00 AM
Boss: *autistic screaming* Make this module not shit.
Whole team: Alright we'll have a meeting to discuss changes at 6:00PM
5:00 PM
Me: I'mma fiddle just a bit with this module.... *fiddles a lot* *makes it not shit*.... cool, I'll just notify my team I fixed it.
LiterallyAtTheSameTime:00 PM
OtherDudeFromTeam *in my dm-s*: AY YO DUDE I FIXED THE PROBLEM LOL 😂😂😂
Me: iGiveUp.exe5 -
I'm about to send a message to the supervisor that will terminate my job. I'm quitting my job. And that's... so exciting!
Wish me luck yo!7 -
To whoever in the history of this godforsaken app I’m tasked with has commingled PHP with ColdFusion, I have a message for you:
Fuck you...fuck your momma, fuck yo daddy, fuck yo computer, fuck yo keyboard, fuck yo mouse, fuck the clothes on your back, fuck monitors that displayed this shit, fuck your fingers in particular, fuck yo brain, fuck whoever dropped yo on your head as an infant, fuck the car you drove to work in, fuck the servers running this shit, fuck anybody who was involved with your education, and if I see you on the street ima slap the shit out of you.6 -
My annoying 19-yo nephew wants to drop out of CompSci to "create the next billion-dollar startup".
I told him I would give him 10 rupees (USD 0.10) for 0.000000001% percent of his "pass me the butter at the diner table" company.
He accepted. Thus, his "heritage protein logistics startup" had an series-A valuation of a billion American dollars!
Hopefully he will stay in college now.2 -
section .text
global _start
_start:
mov edx,len
mov ecx,msg
mov ebx,1
mov eax,4
int 0x80
mov eax,1
int 0x80
section .data
msg db 'Yo Mama So Fat',0xa
len equ $ - msg7 -
1) Create UI library for iOS and Android with 5000+ stars on GitHub
2) Get noticed by Apple for library and interview and work there
3) Get married to my lovely girlfriend
4) Have kids
5) Fuck all yo truck stops and yo biznatch lisbetan asses1 -
typos are ok if you can still understand what one is trying to say.
if your typos interfere with understanding, THEN FUCKING CORRECT THEM.
I'M TIRED OF NOT BEING ABLE TELL IF YO MEANT "…" OR "." WHEN YOU TYPE ".."
DID YOU FUCKING PRESS IT TWICE BY ACCIDENT OR DID YOU MEAN TO TYPE THREE PERIODS?
FUCK YOUUUUUU4 -
"SO is down, SO is down! Pray for our souls! "
Meh, not sure I use it once a month so..
"Pornhub is down! "
Yo wtf know we're talking about a plateform I use!9 -
First we had this stupid Hoverboards.
Now we have god damn fidget spinners. Every Idiot got one.
Now there's fucking Fidgets Spinners with LED.
Will the next fucking Cancer be a IDE with RGB flashing Code, animations and this shit is coming form coding Noob Hipsters and script Kiddies, who wanna be cool???
Kid from the future: Yo Bro lets configure our LED Fidget Spinner with this premade software and call it coding. We will be cool hackers.
12 -
I just wrote this stub function for my test and thought it was a bit ridiculous and had to share.
A function that returns a function that returns an object with just one function
6 -
At work:
** fast typing from lead and me fx**
** lead stops typing, scratch record sound and headhphones being taken off fx**
Lead Devel: Yo Al
*still typing fx**
Me: whats good gansgtah
L.D: remember how we talked about bringing in a version manager into that <huge_pilo_shit> program? But we haven't done it cuz we some lazy mofockas?
** now I stop typing **
Me: .....yes......fuck
Him: yes...fuck
O_o fuck....that bitch is huge man.......2 -
Me: yo DEV2 parse this string into a hashmap. Use regex, 2 rows of code are enough for the job
DEV2: implemented 40 rows of switch/if cases into nested for loop.
Please kill me 🔫🔫🔫🔫🔫🔫🇮🇹3 -
Getting a static IP has become a kind of a status symbol, my friends are paying extra bucks to ISPs so during parties they can be like `Hey Yo, Ping me at 27.49.36.16 , it's static!` :/8
-
!rant
So... innocent smoothies put knitted hats on their bottles in winter to support AgeUK.
That means my #swagduckie has the perfect winter hat 😄
Y’all in the uk, I can highly suggest this to keep yo duckie warm.
6 -
Dialogue when I entered the room of a co-worker, and it wasn't an individual office.
Me: YO MAMA her son bitching 'bout compiler licence?
Him: Kiss my ass!
Me: Could cram a wet roll of toilet paper down your pants.
Him: Yeah that'd come pretty close.
Other co-workers: WTF?12 -
Yo it's been a while.
Forgot I still had devRant++ and thought it's high time I return :-)
Wonder how many of the oldies are still here5 -
Best/worst career choices.
Worst: working overtime and performing awesome feats of superhuman strength to the point of being burnt out and bitter. Turns out I'm just a human being. Cool.
Best: learning, implementing, pushing my comfort zone, and sharing/learning with others. Standing by my design decisions and seeing them blossom into elegant/robust solutions is so incredibly satisfying, and kinda scary. Believe in your abilities, yo. -
Manager: yo I need a time line for this shit.
Me: I don't know how long it takes.
Manager: tell me how long it takes.
Me: I can tell you what can be done in next couple hours. I don't even know what will happen tomorrow.
Manger: now tell me this time shit.
Me: .......
Seriously, dear fellow ranter. How do you estimate timeline? Your timeline is changing.5 -
Oh shit, a 16 yo guy come with a MacBook Air to repair.
“My mom hide the Mac in the oven. And my dad to preheat the oven...”
Really?? Yep, all keyboard keys jumped but he boots normally after disconnect/reconnect internal battery.13 -
Quick rant!!
Deadline in 2 days, working with a team.
Me: yo ! , How's the xyz feature? Is it working now?
Teammate: yah, made it work yesterday.
Me: epic! Can you present it to me?
Teammate: wtf, it's not working today!!
Me: no worries, you can sort it out!
Teammate: the latest release you worked on doesn't work properly.
Me: yah, merged code fucked up, I'm fixing that, I'll push a fix today.
And the cycle continues... -
The person who I was closest to in the workplace is leaving and everyone else is a "professional employee" and they make "work safe jokes" that deserves "polite laughter" now everyone looses their shit if I let out the f word. I guess I will have my next free conversation with the goldfish.8
-
I'm so tired yo... I'm on 2 startups, one is mine the other some dude I'm working with. Both sites built in PHP. Another side gig slack bot thing in Node JS. And then 2 day time jobs in which I'm deciding which one to quit out of... 🫠😵💀
5 -
yo what the fuck fckk off android this song has more than 50 chars and i want to name it by full name and now what do i do ?
10 -
I dunno how I landed on an Indian web series known as Mr Das. Yo...Indians and Mexicans are very much alike. I would say that yo streets are dirtier and messier, but in terms of overal work life balance and day to day shit we are pretty alike.
Yall get stuck in traffic, so do we.
Yall get shit bosses, so do we.
Yall have shit government, so do we.
But man, y'all be scamming people on the phone, we prefer selling drugs and killing each other.
And we both brown.
I ain't that brown tho4 -
There is this around 50 yo guy who seriously said in a room full of linuxers "oh, I'm already over with that Linux thing, it's for children. I'm using Windows now."
The sad thing is: he meant it seriously.3 -
-six months ago-
"Yo! Let's learn a web framework and build some sick apps!"
"Fuck yeah!"
-yesterday-
"Yo! Should we start doing that thing we talked about?"
"Fuck yeah!" -
Every time I tell someone my major they respond the same way: “I know your job prospects look good! I need my computer fixed right now...”
Yeah, let me write you a script real quick that will fix the screen you busted when yo sat on your laptop.1 -
Let's talk about kids!
Do you have any?
Do you want to have any? When? Why not?
I have two kids, one girl (2 yo) and one boy (5 mo).
The loves of my life and my main motivation for everything.49 -
Yo boss, I think we have a broken build. Because cargo complains of yanked dependency.
The dependency.
https://crates.io/crates/nigger/...
4 -
A client of ours renewed their SSL certificates without prior notice.
The app we developed for them uses SSL pinning.
The app does not include the new certificates.
The entire userbase is hereby locked out of the app.
Fun times ahead 🙃1 -
Copy cat bandit strikes again!!
Can he EVER come up with anything original?? Yo Zuck, what's going on with that TilTok clone of yours? What's it called...."Lasso" ? 😑
5 -
So like... did every social media app meet up and go
"yo!
Ordering notifications and timelines chronologically in a way that makes sense?
Yeah mate, fuck it!"?2 -
Did a lot of IT coordination and managing web sites as a Webmaster the last 3 years.
Now every other company wants me to know every damn framework and multiple years of experience in each... Well I know fuckin' HTML 5 and CSS3 and some JavaScript and can create most web sites easily.
Feeling like 13 yo kids with some Angular 2 skills take all my jobs. Thank you, NOT! -
yo canada WHAT THE FUCK
that kid who asked me for help
the ministry or w/e got back to me
"we cannot help this child as their abusers were deemed untouchable"
FUCK DO YOU MEAN UNTOUCHABLE12 -
Amazon be like: "Yo dwag, your monitors just got shipped. ARE YOU INTERESTED IN BUYING SOME MONITORS!?"3
-
Me: Hmmm, tax time is coming up, might be a good time to finally get my new rig
ATO: You you have $4000 withheld tax money, how great!
Me: Fuck oath! spend $2500 on the PC and chuck the rest towards my house deposit
ATO: Yo that sounds great, well how about we keep 3000 and give you 1000? Sound cool? cool.
Me: ... Well... Guess no new rig then16 -
Yo dawg, we heard you like installers. So we put more installers in your installers, so you can install while you install your Visual Studio
2 -
My self confidence has so much improved that I now admire both my pictures and myself in the mirror.
Therapy works yo!2 -
Weirdest moment ever in a CS class:
Course on probabilistic theory. Excercise mentions something about balls in 4 hats. Prof starts to draw them on a chalkboard in a shape of upside down male genitalia. Before finishing the second one starts to giggle.
Dude is a 70 yo grandpa. -
yo so can i suggest a feature all apps should have? i was tapping my phone to my leg in time with music and this happened
12 -
Yo i know this shit is discussed way too often, but it kills me from the inside:
In that one coding class we get some source files where only the function bodies are missing (i know, sounds childish).. but it uses this style
function()
{
...
}
I fuCKING HATE THIS GODDAMN RETURN THERE WHAT THE HELL WHO FINDS THIS BULLSHIT AESTHETIC ALL SPACEY SO YOU SCROLL YOUR ASS OFF WHEN FILES GET LONGER THAN 2 FUNCTIONS?😔7 -
Yo @dfox @trogus, I know I’ve been a pain in the ass lately with my connectivity issues etc, 🤪 but on the auto renewal for devRant++, the transaction (to my knowledge) has successfully went through (can provide screen shot) but I haven’t received it. Not rant, just curious if it’s something in my end, I want to continually support this amazing community.6
-
Drinking alcohol is soo good for my social life because my autopilot is far better with people.
Somehow people can actually really get to know and like me then.
Will this ever change for normal me (22 yo) or should I just keep going out?12 -
You may always feel behind. You aren’t alone. Find something you enjoy within coding. Don’t be a hero and pick all the tickets. Pick what you can achieve. Pick a long-term ticket that you can call yours and own it and learn from it.
BE KIND YO YOURSELF.2 -
That stressful moment when Windows 10 decides to fuck up your network drivers even though I just bought a new wireless pci card and still refuse to work properly so you just install various drivers to see which one works but Windows is just like: hey yo, fuck your drivers 😠
FML!!!!
I'm just going for Ubuntu now or maybe Windows 7 😥8 -
!rant
The perks of working in a medium large company with ~35 employees
Today there's a concert for Stargate, Alan Walker and Ne-Yo. Where we've made the video effects for Stargate.
Now we're having a summer party with our biggest clients, free alcohol and food. Later we're walking to the concert where we and our clients got free tickets.
Internal memo this morning, showing up tomorrow is not mandatory4 -
I just registered to GitHub. (Don't be surprised, I'm just a 16 yo student.) Is there a dark theme for it?8
-
We can hide messages in images via steganography (or ZIP sewing), we can hide messages in sound via either sound-based transmission (like Morse) or waveform-based transmission (think oscilloscope art videos), we can transmit it in videos in like 300 different fucking combined forms...
Encryption isn't the ONLY way, yo. Social engineering and being a cheeky shithead can get it done too.2 -
Me: *gets a payout from my old job*
Me: ahhh now to spoil myself, let's get some pixel buds and a day dream set and maybe a nice bottle of whiskey.
eBay: YO! We have that MacBook you've been looking for going really cheap at the moment!
Me: ... I hate myself...
Why does stuff always go on sale when I've spent my money ;-;2 -
Ok. Sap is a cool rompany, right? Im at a coding camp at it. The final challenge will be presented to the parents and the saps ceo. BUT YO U ONLY GIVE ME FUCKING 5 HOURS TO CODE IT??? ARE YOU FUCKING NUTS? YOU EXPECT ME TO USE A RANDOM ALGO OR WHAT??? I WANTED TO IMPLEMENT A ROOMBA ALGO, BUT WE DONT HAVE ENOUGH TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!5
-
If you were to teach others a last thing before you die, what would you say?
Id tell my surroundings to use time efficiently. We only have like 800.000h, assuming that we become 100 yo. thats nothing.
Please dont make jokes, id really like this to be an informative thread18 -
Yo designer listen, you have made a design with a font the size of 49px and I created it even smaller like 45px and you are still complaining that I'm the one that fucked up??? You should learn to design a proper website!! With webfonts for fucks sake!! And get your margin even!!!3
-
“Don’t forget to go home”
A solution architect when he looked into my team room at 6:30 and saw me still sitting there working. -
Yo rate my investment portfolio! I tried to build it to ensure the best possible stability:
33% futures
33% binary options
33% random cryptocurrencies
1% AT&T stock (one piece)
5 -
I've started at school, but thinking about it since I were a child (10/11 YO) thanks to Crash Bandicoot!!
Damn, I've loved that game! And since then, I've dreamed about becoming a"videogame programmer", then I've found out that developing it's funny too, so for the moment I develop every time I can, one day I'll do my course to become a gameDev :D
3 -
Alrighty. So websockets don't like to forward through Apache2's reverse proxy. Nginx here we come...
Linuxxx I need yo help pls15 -
Finding fragile balance between “we need to create a programming language to solve this task elegantly and efficiently” and “yo dawg here’s some php, go get that shit together”
-
Hello everyone ;)
i'm 19 yo and in past 3 years i tried to be a front-end developer and every time i start to learn, after few weeks i just give up. i feel so dumb and lazy and i don't like that and i decided to change my mind and my life. but sometimes i ask to myself "really do i want to be a programmer?! maybe i'm dumb for these kinda jobs"13 -
Watched a co-worker configure a new "MacBook pro" as a replacement for the four-year-old one this personcurrently has. A replacement machine is justified as the old one is on the fritz... Naturally because MacBooks aren't any better than any other machine, build quality or otherwise. I still cannot fathom why anyone would even consider budgeting over $3000 for a single machine, only to then buy several adapters just to make the thing work.
Apple is off the deep end. People who fall for that BS are off the deep end.
I feel like showing the manager several alternative models at half the price just to make the point that MacBooks are a pointless waste of money.4 -
Yo dawg, I heard you like asynchronous JavaScript, so I put a promise in your promise so you can promise while you promise
6 -
A: Hey yo, that function should only support up to 20 objects
B: Say no more fam
https://api.flutter.dev/flutter/...16 -
Fren: yo check this IC out
[blinks]
"Okay, s-"
[suddenly bitch ass contraption squirts milk on my face]
[bitch ass fren runs]
,w, <(motherfucker y u do dis) -
Yo , people
I have never used bootstrap and idk if i plan to
I always built a website from scratch , made it responsive and so on
Is it a bad thing?
I know it seems like i waste time but it helps me knowing exactly where to go and what to change, ez visualization for me.
So what do you prefer?10 -
Today, Google says it will now require new Android developers with personal accounts to test their app with a minimum of 20 people for at least 2 weeks prior to publication. I have my mum, my dad and my two brothers but Google wants at least 20 testers. Yo!
11 -
*Writes magnificent class for company that makes code safer and faster. Nothing proprietary but super useful.
Me: yo boss I just wrote some sick shit, can I use it my projects too.
Boss: No, all your codenz belong to me4 -
Yo, where's @g-m-f at ?
Haven't heard from him in last few months, his puns were sharper than a toothpick and shorter than a 3 minute jack-off6 -
Yo guys, all the ranting aside, I just wanted to remind you that you ALWAYS have a choice, that you should speak up when something bothers you for too long and that you should be aware about all your strengths and unique skills! Just as a reminder ✌️2
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Yo the developers I see on Instagram are doing 100days of code with 3/4 monitors along with a laptop and tablet side by side. rich af lol. seems like a show off but idk.may be im saying that cause i can't currently afford it lol.13
-
Frontend web development is a fucking jungle. I feel like bloody Bear Grylls whenever I come out of my backend cave - shit's overwhelming, yo.2
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Yo dawg, I heard you like writing code for code you already wrote. So I made you write some mock functions so you can write code for code you already wrote!2
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The sub title says “programming language” yet the description says “markup language” get yo shit together google
21 -
To be able to create whatever yo want WITH your own hands (and an IDE). It feels like playing to be a god. You decide what to create and how will it work. Giving life to those lines of coding and seeing how the program starts "breathing". Watching how your creation "takes life" feels incredibly satisfying.
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CLEARLY! ...
I'm drunk.
//motherfucking populate the mailings table yo
Route::get('fuckman', function () {
$statuses = array('queued', 'sent', 'failure');
$statusKey = rand(0,2);
$mailings=App\Models\Mailing::all();
foreach($mailings as $mailing){
$mailing->status=$statuses[$statusKey];
$mailing->save();
}
return 'fuckyou';
}); -
If ya ever feel frustrated as all fuck because that retard friend is too fucking dense to bundle a vue.js instead of pulling it from cdn for a fucking phonegap build.
0) get in yo car
1) find a bmw at a red lite
2) signal 4 race
3) floor dat shit and leave em in the dust bc bmws have no fucking launch control
Yall know who the fuck wrote this rant dontcha1 -
About half the chats with my line manager is just me being a rubber duck equivalent to him.
M: Can you implement the stuffity stuff like I asked?
Me: *starts typing*
M: Oh nevermind it was cached -
when the setup of programming environment takes more effort than the code.
and you're like fuck it i'll do it online!7 -
Windows is not full of surprises. One can expect the (light) blue screen.
(Picture in comments because it stretches like yo mama pussy in the post)6 -
Settings be like..
yo dude you want your home directory on C: or D:?
Me: let's use D: pls.
Every program uses D, cus there is HOMEPATH.
Cmd be like..
C:\Users\Mofo>3 -
Yo, have some questions for all you Macbook devs here.
#0. What language do you mostly write in?
#1. Do any of you dualboot / use VM's on your Mac?
#2. Is it better or worse (in your experience) to code on a Macbook in general?
Asking bc Im thinking on getting one for The thin and lightness of it.14 -
Yo fun idea you know who most certainly knows which cookies are stored in your browser??? YOUR FUCKING BROWSER!
How about uuuummmmmm... When making a proposal about annoying users with cookie notices suggest that browsers implement it ALONG WITH A YES, TAKE ALL MY DATA ALWAYS I JUST WANT TO USE THE FUCKEN INTERNET button?
Fuuuuuck me those notices are so dumb!1 -
My friend tried to disassemble FakeSMC (hackintoshers where are u at) into assembly code.
My friend: yo dude, let's look at FakeSMC's ASM!
Me: u stoopid or wut
My friend: don't worry, it's gonna be so much fun!
Me friend after an hour and an accidental modification the the file through ASM: bro i need your help, my hackintosh won't boot and I need your backup13 -
Just got on a fb argument because I said something along the lines of: mfkers that throw the finger in a pic are the same mfkers that will quickly disappear from a fight
Yo, if your ass is though enough, then it is. Flipping the bird at a pic makes me think you're willing to throw hands if needed be.
Anecdotal evidence proves it ain't real3 -
Motherf*ing broadcom and thair sh*tty wlan adapters with 0 comaptibility so you have do download drivers witch you CANT because you have no FRIGGING wifi. *Downloads drivers from another pc*
Mak install ERROR this variable is not set when initiated. WHAT??? Yo are a sotware company and cant even make Installers what the f*ck1 -
Yo, so does anyone here have any experience about using Windows or mac printer drivers on GNU+Linux? So far my strategy has been to try to extract a ppd file from the Windows/mac drivers. It's an epilog fusion laser printer/engraver5
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I'm not a server-man, I mostly just develop apps in unity and similar stuff.
Boss: yo, can you make this work? I just can't understand https://github.com/ant-media/...
Me: Well IDK, there's a "start.sh" in it, just give it a try
*error*: /usr/local/antmedia cannot be found
Me: well then just put the whole thing in it.
*everything works flawlessly*
did you do magic? -
Found this coding bootcamp advertisement while I was scrolling through Reddit:
“... we provide a better way to learn, free of tuition AND TEACHERS...”
- I learn my code in da streets, yo3 -
Yo Vanessa? I like, appreciate your interest but can you not let your bots run wild?
On a more serious note: This has happened about 10 times already.
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#just Bluetooth headphones things
When you're sitting on crowded public transportation and can't hear anything unless your phone is closer to your headphones than anyone else's, i.e. unless it's close as shit to your face 😍😍😍
When you want to listen to music for longer than 2 hours or several times during your workday but can't because the BT headphones last 2-3 hours 😍😍😍
When the left and right side don't pair with each other but you can pair with each individually 😍😍😍
When half of the button presses and user interactions aren't documented and there's no way to forget a device 😍😍😍
When you try to connect a new device to them in a public area and just see a dozen random serial numbers, so you have to wait and hope they get resolved to the headphone brand name 😍😍😍
When Satan takes your soul and the Bluetooth connection drops in hell 😍😍😍
When the music quality is lower and can experience static and maybe even skip in between 😍😍😍
When the bus hits a road bump, it falls out of your ear, and rolls halfway down the bus 😍😍😍
When it takes a long time to find them because they tiny af, and just as long to find the charging cable 😍😍😍
When manufacturers cannot agree on a standard volume sync system and so you have to check the volume and adjust every time you connect and disconnect your headphones 😍😍😍
Can we please just stop making everything Bluetooth?
Sincerely,
Someone who just wanted to listen to a 2 minute billie eilish song but found it easier to sing in his head9 -
When I started using Ubuntu for the first time it took like 3 tries to install the OS. After successful installation, all it took was two days and I had somehow corrupted everything. Next time I managed to keep everything together a bit longer, maybe a few weeks. Now, multiple fresh OS installations later, I am happy to say that I have not conducted any major fuck-ups in years. It's the learning curve, yo.4
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If you write an editor or input field, and do not respect our Ctrl+Backspace expectations, I will turkey-slap yo ass, bitch.
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Yo guys any idea how does Netflix blocks screenshots? Yea not technically disable it, but yea you know what I mean. Any idea?4
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Yo developers.
Why do they choose different dates for server ?
We are having a three different server with three different dates. Why? TIA.2 -
Vocabulary for the day.
Screed - An abusive rant is called a Screed.
Usage - I'mma screed the shit outta dem pathetic species of blood sucking parasites AKA dickhead project managers who do dem (developerEstimatedTime/2) quick maths.
Fuck you1 -
Yo @dfox, I think we all know what devRant is missing. Some good old img/gif comments for all our meme response needs5
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When yo wake up in the morning and you read:
"Upcoming updates to the AWS Lambda....in rare cases, package updates may introduce compatibility issues."
("rare cases", yeah sure. skip everything)
"...You have the following options: 1. Take no actions, 2.blabla 3.blabla..."
Close the blog.
Communicate to the board that due to lack of resources, randoms bugs could happen in the next weeks and that the quality of a 500K$ project is at random risk.
Rant.3 -
Yo devRant !
There's my FIRST little Game with Js :
http://deef.000webhostapp.com/
Good Game ? (Esc to show controls)
PS: Don't look at the code, if you don't want to cry... It's no really finish...7 -
Why the fICKITY FUCK CANT UNITY DO WHAT ITS DING DANG JOB YO I'M JUST TRYING TO SIMULATE AUTONOMOUS AGENTS NOT AGENTS FROM HELL YOU FEEL ME
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Yo guys you need this Chrome extension.
Litteraly so helpfull, shows code snippets in google Search
On Chrome WebStore (also on firefox)
- Greppper
15 -
Yo, i have a course where i have to build an android app, and we can make what the fuckever we want. Can you give me some interesting APIs, that are publicly available? It doesnt have to make sense, everything is better than using the anidb api, and thats the only thing that comes to mind.2
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A whole day yo set up an ethereum node on a raspberry pi zero... No mining. No wallet. I'm loosing it, people.
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(In-class, listening to friend)
Friend: I've programmed games before & deployed them. (Summed up)
Me: Cool! What did yo-
Teacher: Get into groups and make a quick access app for the school.
Friend: Hmm.. I'll ask my friend how to do this.
Me, silently annoyed: If you've made a game & deployed it... This should be decently easy for you... *facewall*1 -
Ae yo, why the young athletes, or someone doing any physical activity dropping dead suddenly????
Its appearing up everywhere abnormally...
Only thing common between them all -> vaccines.12 -
Mozilla you stinking kangaroo pouches!
When you set an object's CSS translation via JS like so:
obj.style.transform="translate(0px,0px)";
and then read it back, every browser including FF until 66 gives this, with additional space:
"translate(0px, 0px)"
However, bloody FF 67 returns "translate(0px)". Because it's always a good idea to just introduce external changes nilly-willy, right?
That screwed up my crappy string slicing because it relied on the presence of the comma. It was a quick and dirty solution, but with additional future proof if/else logic, it wouldn't even be quick anymore.
Besides, the whole string slicing looked like yo-yo code anyway so that I instead added shadow integer variables to the objects. That solution not only works, but is even faster.10 -
Yo, remember when @Alice parodied the millenial 404 message? It was hilarious, but now it's gone :c
Has anyone saved it by any chance? I don't want this to be lost forever, it was too good :c3 -
I'm estimating the cost for a data migration from CA Clipper based system.
I've got to meet the original developer: the most energetic 79 yo man I've ever met - I honestly wish he was my grandfather4 -
friend: yo dude, wanna drink?
me: nah man, that stuff kills brain cells.
friend: you say its killing brain cells but i say its just real life dropout to prevent overfitting1 -
I'm going to do my first internship in a month. I am 22 yo.
Am I too old for the first job experience according to you? Because I actually feel so...10 -
yo tester, I mentioned that I was off for half a day, WHY in the world are you trying to contact me to say that the test environment does not work??!!?!
There are more capable developers online that can fix that for you!!!
Stupid incompetent person!2 -
How does devrant make profit?
Are you, hexical labs, accepting donations, or what's the business model?4 -
I think I will never be fully able to switch to Linux. I have dual booted my laptop and my printer only has drivers for windows. It does have drivers for Ubuntu 10 but they don't work at all in Ubuntu 17. I thought of making a raspi wireless receiver so I could print wirelessly but since the drivers don't work on Ubuntu I had yo trash that idea.3
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When your project partner tells you not yo use database constraints, know that he's about to do some messy handling of the database.
How can someone make a user deletable and leave his other data lying around in other tables? I'm tired.
Messy codes everywhere.2 -
When I was 11, my uncle called me genius and I should study computers after I went online to HP's official website (using a 56k modem connection) to download the drivers for the printer we had at hone, since somebody lost the cd with the installation that came with the printer. Today, I am 25 yo software developer earning 25k+ a year :) #thanksuncle
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When I was a kid I was looking around google for viruses/trojans/lamer stuff (yes, I wanted to be a H4ck3r at 12 yo, lol).
At a certain point I read "Oh, these lamers. Learn how to program instead of looking for ready-made stuff".
That word, "program", sounded in my head until I googled it.
So, my journey began from there.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/...3 -
I think i was like 7 or 8 yo. When school vacation started, my mom joined me in this computer centre near her workplace.
I belive it was a Windows 95 system powered probably by Pentium 2 and i remember playing Aladdin, mario and a fun racing car game.
I remember i liked a lady teacher there and being scared of the male teacher from whom I learned about basic computer peripheral terms like CPU, floppy disc drive etc. -
Yo Yo Yo . How is the weekend going? Plan A , Plan B?
Previous Week : https://devrant.com/rants/851737823 -
Yo meta sign out my instagram, so I sign in back realising I logged into some random god knows who account. I logged out.
But when I login again. The app says I have to login to the other account.
So I thought maybe I reset password might help. No , the reset password page is shit , they say they will send me an email and sms but it never arrive.
Ref https://twitter.com/johnmelodyme/...1 -
I gave computer tech support to a tech support person.
I don't know how I feel about this...
Like, Yo dawg, I heard you like tech support, so I gave tech support to tech support. -
Yo anyone recommend a software KVM switch between mac and linux??? The switcheroo is getting annooyinng.....2
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Internationalization be like:
Yo dawg, look, you can use mutliple languages now!
Suddenly gettext won't find any language files and every string is empty ;_;
WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME GNU?!1 -
Me to my peer: "Yo the code that they sent us works but it sucks and is insecure"
My peer: "Yo that sucks they should definitely change that, go submit a ticket so they change it up, that really sucks!"
Me: *prepares ticket, gets it checked by peer:
My peer: YOoOoO U cAnT tElL tHeM tO cHaNgE oR tElL tHeM hOw tO wRiTe tHeIr CoDe ThAt ThEy DeLiVeR tO uS!1!1!eleven
--
classics1 -
Yo any webdevs out there is forefox the nes IE ? I'm working on a simple dashboard for a project i used Justgage for gauges the whole thing looks great in chrome, safari, edge and opera. in firefox everything went to shit ... what the actual fuck !!!!!
-
Not a rant but...
Yo momma is like a while loop, she just keeps on going and going until you tell her to break.1 -
!rant .
Interesting conversation between coworker 1, 2 and 3.
1 : “ hey do you know if you want to sounds like Australians , start eating spiders. Alternatively you can try to eat kiwi to sound familiar to Australian but isn’t.
2 : “ I fancy myself sugary juices and burgers everyday, but yet I am not becoming American.”
1: “No pal you should start drinking petroleum and yell FREEDOM and ‘this is my right!’ every chances you get. That’s how you become a US citizen without the green card .”
3: “bro, you are taking you are what you eat too literally and stereotypically. Let say if you guys would to suck my dick and drain my semen down your throat, won’t me you my son . But I will get the pleasure.”
John : “Yo what the fuck?”
3: “the real question is ‘yo wanna fuck?’”
1 :”you sus bro”
2: “I’m going to pretend I didn’t read that one .”
John :” 1, which ‘you’ you are referring to? 2, of course you didn’t with that amount of sugary juices.”
2: “hey this is my right!”
John: *mute the off-topic channel *
Yo like what the fuck .14 -
Yo, i heard that it's easier to find jobs in web / software development in UK , is that true? 🤔 whos from uk?8
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Pushing an update with bugs is the worst thing yo happen yo a dev on Thursday, because you know yout Friday is messed up
-
yo so wtf opengl doing over there
all I can find on "APIENTRYP" is that it's "macro magic that makes everything work" but it's breaking fucking everything. I remove it and it works again (well, kinda, i still gotta fix some typing horseshit)
why is opengl in shambles i just wanna compile gdi -
Now that I have decided yo learn Java.
Can anyone tell me where do I start and where to find the required resources and tutorials and so on..6 -
I have gained a new identity this month.
10 yo: My sister told me that the Easter bunny gives Mom money so she can do Easter baskets. This makes sense as the Easter bunny cannot do everything.
Me: (As the person who often gives Mom money this makes me the Easter bunny.)2 -
This will sound silly as I was a 6 yo back then. My father had got a computer for doing some office work. He used to do a lot of the stuff using MS Word. I loved seeing the Pipes screensaver marvelling at the infinite combinations of pipes. But, what got me the most excited was Clippy, the infamous Office Assistant. I started using computer just to play around with clippy. Right click, do a trick and stuff. Oh the memories...1
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Yo guys any advice or tips for product dev/product management (internship) and all would be awesome1
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Yo, Copilot moving to a paid model?
They were smart, let us use it for free for a while then grow a dependence and BAM, need to pay.12 -
For people who use an email provider that's not Google/Microsoft/proprietary-steal-yo'-data. What are y'all's thoughts on it? Are there good open source or proprietary but private(not sell your data to China/US/Uncle greg from the market) ones? Excluding the obvious "just host your own email server".17
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Yo guys...i know it's been a long time since i made a rant or something like that.....but i was working on my discord bot......i am giving the link below....if u guys want to help me verify it then please invite it to your server.....thanks(advance ;))
https://discord.com/api/oauth2/... -
Yo guys
I have this girls nudes, should I keep em?
She died so idk
Since I have em and shes dead they are kinda like rare ass pokemon cards
Discontinued by manufacturer type shit9 -
Yo what the actual hell is up with the lack of Azure AD B2C documentation, the error codes are pretty ass too! Had a similar problem many users faced & on stackoverflow everyone had different solutions. My solution wasn't the accepted one and it has 2 upvotes ....2 UPVOTES!!1
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!dev
Yo anyone who uses hikvision, do they still use npapi requiring use of older browsers or a plugin or other software like iVMS1 -
Yo, we need someone from Morocco to print something in Hebrew and take a picture of someone holding this note, it's for a a class of mine.
Thanks in advance.5
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