Me: Let's grab something for dinner!
GF: Sure, but let's go somewhere safe
Me:

GF: I'm unable to undo my zip, help
Me: ctrl Z
GF: what!
Me: what? Oh.

(She left me the week after :'| )

Google owns us.

Well, since you're already here... ;-)

I did it. I fucking did it.

Bring the funny...

Uncle: Programmers who design physics engines do so by typing 1s and 0s on a console. That's why they get paid so much.

Me: 🤔🔪

So I got a notification that my LinkedIn profile showed up in several searches this week. Not sure I should be too happy about it though...

I am the operating system😂😂!!

What is another name for a computer virus ? 
=> A terminal illness 

My new debbuging buddy :D

Why does the Python developer have crooked teeth?

Because he doesn't use braces

When you finish a HTML + CSS assignment that's due in one week in 5 minutes.

How to beat jet lag with style:

When your normal sleep schedule was so broken it became completely normal in the different timezone.

I used to sleep from 5am to 1pm in my country. With a -7 time difference this became 10pm to 6am.

Should I be happy?

Why the fuck do some people need to talk so much while working?
Let me code in peace, damnit. 😒

Went to a shop to buy bubble plastic envelopes (gotta send something carefully).

Walked out with a new Bluetooth music headset, couple of charging cables, Ethernet cable and a music input splitter and also those envelopes.

Why am I like this 😓

I hate when I go on stack overflow to find an answer, and all the comments for the correct answer say, "awesome thanks!", "Works perfectly now, thanks!". While I sit staring at my screen feeling like a complete idiot because I don't understand the given answer at all!

Been lurking here for a while. Finally pissed off enough to post.

Been programming in Ada for nearly a decade now. One of the few younger devs who knows the language well. Have a large collection of libraries and tools written in it, open source. Done contract work. Looking to get out of my current line of work, which is medicine, because fuck this recent legal climate. I'm spending all my time dealing with legal compliance and it rapidly changing.

I see a job posting from a company looking for a programmer to mostly write testing stuff for clients. They mostly work with Ada. I've written a whole unit testing and integration testing framework. Perfect. Apply. "You don't have the required skills." Oh... K then.

Wanna guess what I was just offered as contract work. Same company. I guess i'm fucking qualified if you asswipes sought me out to ask me to fix your fucking bullshit.

What the hell is wrong with management and HR in recent years?

I too got one of these. So as per the convention, I am obliged to share it with you guys

My programming buddy! 😉

"My code works, but I have no idea as to why or how. Even StackOverflow says it shouldn't work." -Me

I honestly have no energy to even type this out because this is so draining, but here goes.

I am usually very calm and can keep my composure well, but boy do you push my limits. Do you think my work is so easy that it’s just “a bunch of queries and simple logic”? Well, fine. YOU FUCKING DO IT.. right before I grab you by your fucking neck and shove your face repeatedly into the keyboard. You even have the audacity to give us a project and come the very next fucking day and repeatedly keep asking us “iS iT FiNisHeD yEt?” so much and annoy even the calmest in our team even when we clearly stated that it was going to take us 30 work days to fucking finish it. Do you not know what a working day is? 30 work days is not the same as 30 days you dumbfuck. You have no idea how any of these work and yet you preach your bullshit and waste our fucking time when we could have used that time better to finish our work. THIS IS WHY EVERY SINGLE EMPLOYEE KEEPS LEAVING AND WHY THIS COMPANY HAS A VERY LOW EMPLOYEE RETENTION RATE. You won’t even let me finish my fucking lunch in peace. We have 45 minutes for lunch and since I’ve been eating out for almost the past year (I live alone and don’t usually have time to make food at home because of my hour and a half long commute), a close friend of mine’s mom reached out to and said “Hey, since you’ve been usually getting food from outside, why not join us for lunch?”, so I did and it was the most amazing food ever. Mind you, this was the first time I’ve ever left work myself to have lunch since I joined. I did get 10 minutes late because lunchtime tends to fall around the time where the schools close for the day (no shit) and school traffic is usually insane, and you unsurprisingly decided to make an issue out of a non-issue especially since I’M THE ONLY FUCKING PERSON WORKING IN THE COMPANY and also dock my pay for that. Let me also include the time where our one of the others in the management gave us a quick project that was to be quickly finished while we working on an existing project so we put aside a day just to complete and ship the app and the features and as usual, you decided to make an issue out of a non-issue and decided to shame us publicly and even made (my now former) colleague cry. You’re just a spoiled, selfish, ignorant nit-witted fucking imbecile who has no idea how to even properly run a business. Get fucked in the arse with a cactus. I'm done. I've held on for so long but this is the last straw. I'll be handing my letter of resignation soon. Good luck with running a company without any employees.

Oh wow.
Google deems me worthy!!?!!

Friend: "what is it that you do?"
Me: "mostly web development, I make websites"
Ex-friend: "oh web design, nice"
Me: ...

WHAT THE FUCK???

ctx: i haven't been on stack overflow in a while, and i logged back on to find this, i got them randomly while i wasn't on

When you thought you are a hacker and try phishing me.😂
Thanks @h3ll for that word "tosserpod"

I used to think that Google knew too much about my personal life, but now I feel like someone finally gets me 😍 (screenshot)

Chuckles like a kiddo... 🤣
And it's only Monday... 🤔
I am too old for this... 😩🤦‍♂️

Wow. Nice 😍👌. First question on stackoverflow. 4 down votes 😎. WTF why?

Are you the same?

~TCP~
A: SYN
B: ACK/SYN
A: ACK

~The French~
A: Ça va ?
B: Ça va / Ça va ?
À: Ça va

Unambiguity scores:
TCP - 1
French - 0

So, when there is shit hitting the fan at work I tend to stay during lunch to take care of it and make sure I can take as much of a hit for it before it reaches my employees.

the lead developer walked to my office to let me know that he was about to take lunch and asked if i had plans for lunch. I told him that there were some reports to be done and some meetings that i had to attend and would be staying back, he asked if i was going to get something to eat and I said that I would try to get something as soon as possible. My man knows that I am on a strict regimen due to my workouts, and he normally takes concern over it.

I did not get something to eat, but the hour mark when he came back I was fucking starving and still stuck on a call T___T my man walks into my office as I was on a call (meeting) and he leaves a bag with my favorite burgers in my desk as I was waving hello T___T I thanked him afterwards.

Y'all, if youse a manager, take care of your people, fight for your people, my boys know i go the extra mile for them and we used to chill out having bbqs every other week playing pathfinder(i suck but make a fun party member) before the pandemic. Your coworkers might very well be your extended family. Even if you are the manager them peeps will look out for you if they know you are not a power hungry egomaniac that is more focused on keeping higher ups happy.

These dudes are my friends, my family, they were the board of members tasked with knowing if I was to get hired when i first joined in, and even tho I am now their manager I am still their friend, shit like this is possible and what I would implore everyone to strive for, because even if your organization is a faceless entity full of people that don't care for you, the dude at arms reach from your office is there, people are there, fellow human beings are there.

Fuck, just be nice to everyone else and I severely hope y'alls work life is a chill as this one.

I'm currently on my way to Japan on vacation.
This is how it went so far:
😁 - Arriving at airport early and excited
🤔 - Find out our flight is delayed. Oh well it might now be by a lot
😥 - Find out that it's 2 hours delayed and we will miss our next flight
😤 - Arrive at Frankfurt airport, and stands in line for 2 hours to the service desk
😡 - Arrive at service desk to get told that we have to go to a special service desk to get rebooked
🤬 - Get a ticket with our number in the queue. 125 people in front of us.
😴 - 4 and a half hour later, get get informed we will need to stay at a hotel for the night, and that we'll be flying at 6 pm the next day
😑 - Get to hotel and crashes (this is by 1 am now)
🤬 - Wakes up 6 hours later because we have a room right next to a construction site

Pro tips for Lufthansa and the imbeciles in their management and staff:
1. Inform people. You fucking knew the flight was this delayed, and you could actually have given people a choice at the beginning of their travel.
Now you had to put 100+ people in a hotel.

2. Bring food to people. Spending so much time in an airport leaves people very hungry. (Pssst, chocolate, candy and French potatoes are NOT food)

All in all, just fuck Lufthansa and their handling of this situation.

Fucking great start to the vacation. I'm already more exhausted than if I just went to work...

I AM NOT A RUBBER DUCK
I AM NT A RUBBER DUCK
IAM NOT A RIBBER DUCK
I AM NOT A RUBER DUCK
I AM NOT A TUBBER DUCK
I AM NOT A TRUBBER DUCK
I AM NOT A TUBBER DUCK
I AM NOT A RUBBER DUCJK
I AM NOT A RUBBER DUCK

Just got the most introspective job interview ever.
Like, I think those guys now understand me better than my parents do.
Like, I learnt more about myself during this interview process than during my psychological evaluation.
Like, I changed my career plan twice during the interview process.

I don't know who I am anymore but I wanna work with those guys

Me: *Has 3 difficult exams to study for and hours of work*

Also me: I should try my hand at encryption in Python.

First PR (pull-request) to be accepted by a non-profit!!!!!!

Note to self : when a client say "we want to develop 'exact clone' of SomeFuckingBigCompany" - Say NO.

Forgot to add a WHERE clause in my UPDATE query for Prod DB, that contained 100K+ Records.

FML

Thanks ssh!

Because of you I don't have to leave the bed to run commands on my Linux server(laptop) sitting on my desk.

Disclaimer: I have a strong hate towards apple for multiple reasons and this will only be temporary. (thank God for that)

My oneplus one is battery dead and the power button quit as well. Repair costs would be as expensive as buying a new phone (200-300 price range) so searching for a new one.

But, I need a temporary phone in the mean time.
A phone with googled-android is absolutely a no-go. I used to do that sometimes but those were wrong decisions.

So, for the sake of trying, I'm going for a second hand iPhone.
Will be testing how it works for me (never been able to form an opinion on it since iOS 4.2 (iPod touch)) and will also be searching my ass off for a smartphone which supports lineage/rooting (TIPS BETWEEN ABOVES PRICE RANGE ARE VERY WELCOME) because I'm fucking hell not planning on using that (the iPhone) fucker any longer than a month.
Even if I love it over android (highly doubt that), I won't continue using it for very specific reasons.

Wish me luck 😅

I am fucked.... 😫😫😫My new custom build pc is not starting up after lighting strike 😭😭 ... I had unplugged all the plugs from the socket but i forgot to unplug the wifi from the broadband cable.... So when lighting hit my building the current came through broadband cable and burned my wifi then through there it got to my pc... My motherboard, gtx1070 graphic card, ram everything is gone.... Except my hard drive and psu...

FLOYD IS HERE 😎

Gather around kids, it's story time.

So my first breakup left me so damaged and I was in darkest phase of my life. I was alone. Physically, mentally, and emotionally. I went for therapy and spearheaded into success and grew in life soooo fucking much.

31st December 2016, I first joined dR and since the first day this place felt home. Met some of brightest mind and most amazing souls here (sadly many left the place).

I used to shit post and rant a lot. But I loved everyone here. But then I don't quite remember, but I decided to quit this place as community started to grow. Many others left as well.

I came back here in 2019 IIRC and started all over again. Got along well with new members and started having fun.

I used to crib and cry about being underpaid. Lost a kickass Europe job due to pandemic.

I will skip what all happened between me and @Scout but she is a sweetheart, though very rough and brutal with me at times (actually very often), but she is so selfish for me and cares for me that I couldn't resist but listen to her always. A lifelong friend for sure :)

I used to rant about my dumb office colleagues. Definitely not the sharpest minds but good people at heart (which I did not realise).

So in October 2020, I earned a new job and my company retained me with a 100% raise and a promotion making me lead of product innovation and UX.

November end I met a girl in professional context on LinkedIn who was conducting a workshop. Being hungry for learning, meeting new people and kill my lockdown boredom, I singed up.

Now I went for December break and my colleagues sent me a gift hamper when they came to know I got a promotion. I felt bad that I ranted about them so I deleted my account and also wanted a social detox.

Post the workshop, I started conversing casually with the girl I met. She was married. But things hit off. Eventually in February end I confessed that I had feelings for her and in next few days she reciprocated. I told her I was aware of her marital status and it's okay if nothing happens between us. Then she started to open up of how she was with one guy for 17 years and was abused in everyway and wanted to separate but never had the courage and all.

She decided to file for paperwork and then be with me. Things got messy when her family got involved thinking I was causing all of it.

She went back to her partner and I realised I had some emotional and mental issues of a person's past that bothered me. But we were overcoming it. Soon the honeymoon period started phasing out.

Her family started giving me death threats. We went underground even further. More arguments and fights between us.

@Scout kept telling me I was stupid and I disregarded her. I feel like an idiot for not listening to her.

That girl kept gaslighting me, hurting me intentionally, scratching the surface made me realise how broken and damaged she was. She lied to me and created fake persona of herself to make me fall for her. Everything was lie. Literally.

I felt horrible for trusting her. My trauma relapsed and I started having crazy panic attacks leading to self harm and being suicidal. That girl was drugged all the time with psychological medicines and very poor character & personality in general (I don't want to judge anyone but just stating the facts).

Eventually she just disappeared and I was like fuck this. Earlier, after every fight, she used to show fake affection and I used to melt but not this time.

I was like fuck this shit. I have some super amazing friends like @kiki who helped me overcome this. I started going for therapy and realised what all areas I need to improve. My therapist is soooo brilliant, she understands the root cause instantly and also knows how to fix it. And the same day I and both my parents were COVID-19 positive. Last few weeks were dark and haunting.

Further more, the girl comes back after a week and then acts as a 'nice girl'.
Initially fake affection, then drama, followed by making me guilt trip, then threats, and now blaming me.

I kept ignoring her calls (50 to 70 calls in a day), emails, left her unread on Telegram, and everything I could do to ignore her without blocking her. I started gaining my happiness back.

During this mess, I lost 5+ KG of weight. She has no friends in her mid 30s. Knows no life or survival skills. Her family hates her, no career, no emotional or mental maturity, literally nothing. Insanely dumb and toxic manipulative person who is not even worth being called an ex. As per her everyone around her is an asshole except her. Every time something happened, she used to blame and bad mouth the other person. Now she is doing with me. In all her life situations, either she was a hero or a victim. One upped me all the time. Now that I see it, I hate myself for allowing it all of it and now having enough self worth to walk out of it earlier.

Continued in comments...

A temporary replacement teacher came in today, she is so fucking dumb omfg, I am literally shakeing, this pic will tell you everything.

It just hit me why they called their software "nero"... cause he burned Rom(e).... Am I dumb or something? I'm using it for 5 years now

Senior Engineer -
Hey. I have a code that hits API to get details and multithreading is implemented. Can you just change the URL formed to hit Api?

Me
Yeah sure why not.

Me
After some time I discover that the initial code itself wasn't working 😐
I realise i need to fix code, fix multithreading and then make the URL changes.

Just finished......Realised had to rant....

I sometimes encounter developers who try to be serious all the time and be super rational at everything and have a pride in never smiling. One time my friend was crying and her dev boyfriend went like "I am a developer and I think rational, the way you think about X........." Dude shut the fuck up and hug her! Nobody gives a fuck about you being a RoboCop right now. The fact that you lack emphaty and emotional capacity doesnt make you a mighty god, it makes you a fucking asshole.

Why do not more people get rid of that stupid FB app? Like seriously, free extra hours without charging 🎉

Finally thought I had a good project idea.

It's already been done and is a large site. 200k users.

WHY CAN'T I JUST COME UP WITH SOMETHING UNIQUE FOR ONCE?

Hello again, everyone. I've been busy with all the paperwork at my ship (will make a post about it later) but for now, I'll bore you with another story (not navy one, fortunately) to justify my slacking off.
And this story... is the story on how I got into ITSec. And it is pretty damn embarrassing. It all began when I was 16. I was hooked on battleknight.gameforge.com, a browser game. My father had just had ADSL installed at our home, and the new opportunities before me were endless. Well...
After I've had my fill with the porn torrents and them opportunities dwindled to just a few dozens, I began searching for free games, and I stumbled on that game. I played a lot, but as a free-to-play game, it was also pay-to-win. I didn't have a credit card, so I paid for a few gems with SMS messages. Fast forward a couple of years, I got into the Naval Academy. A guy came in to advertise something (I think it was an encyclopaedia or something - yes, wikipedia wasn't a thing back then) and to pay for it, we could apply for a credit card. So I applied. And I resisted the temptation for a year.
Note: prepaid wasn't that known where I live, so using credit cards was the only way for online transactions.
So I made 1 transaction. Just one. After a couple of months my monthly report from the bank came, showing a 2.5$ (I think) transaction on Paypal. I paid no mind, thinking that it was some hidden fee. Oh boy, I shit you not, I was THAT much of an idiot. Six months later, BOOM!
600$ transaction to ebay via paypal. You can imagine all those nice things that came to my mind. In any case, the bank accepted my protest that I filed at their central offices and cancelled the transaction. I promptly cancelled my card, destroyed it right there for good measure, and got to thinking... what the fuck just happened?
As many people here, I am afflicted with a deadly virus, called curiosity. I started researching the matter, trying to figure out how. And, because I didn't like black boxes and "it is just like it is" explanations, I tumbled down the rabbit hole of ITSec. I soon found out that, not only it was possible, but also it was sometimes EXTREMELY easy to steal credit card info. There are sites, to this very day, that store user info (along with credit cards info) IN FUCKING CLEARTEXT. Sometimes your personal, financial and even medical info are just an SQLi away.
So, I got very disillusioned on many things. But I never regretted it. It may cause me to age prematurely and will kill me of stroke or heart attack one day, but as I still tumble down the ITSec rabbit hole, I can say with confidence that
I REGRET NOTHING
Plus, my 600$ were returned, so look on the bright side :)

Does anyone else suck at remembering tasks?

I love making and crossing out lists. Excuse my handwriting.

Once on my old job I had several ssh sessions and I was running some tests where I frequently restarted the application... Until I entered the restart command in the terminal of the production system and shutdown the whole application. - Still gives me the creeps today, was just lucky the customer was in a break and we could remotely restart it, so probably nobody even noticed.

Now today I run a "rm -rf *" on a folder that is supposed to be local, but after some time I get suspicious because it is taking too long.. Only to discover that the mount point of the remote resource points to my "local copy". Shit.

What is next? The "delete from ...;" without where clause? Fuck, aren't you supposed to get more experienced and cautious?

Me: knows how to program a neural network

Also me: doesn't know how to use it

Again me: bad at math so doesn't know how to use the outputs of a neural network

#LongRant

I AM SO FUCKING PISSED RIGHT NOW OF ALL YOU DICKHEADS WHO DON'T KNOW SHIT 'BOUT PROGRAMING AND STILL QUALIFY FOR THE NEXT ROUND!

Background: I am a final year student of Computer Science. This time of the year, companies come to the campus to recruit potential employees for their vacant positions. But during the COVID-19 times, the number of such companies and jobs have gone a little down. Two companies came to our university for recruitment — DXC Technology and Hanu Software. I cleared the aptitude/code test for DXC and appeared for the interview, which went fairly well. Waiting on the results. The rant is about the other company.

The Story: I am learning and working on Cloud (AWS specifically) for the past 1 year. I have a cloud Certification in Oracle and working my way to get Azure Certified. Hanu Software, which is a core cloud company (works on Azure) came to our campus for the recruitment (Cloud Engineer). Their test had these sections —
1. Personality (54 Questions; 15 minutes)

2. Verbal (20 Questions; 20 minutes)

3. Reasoning (15 Questions; 15 minutes)

4. Technical (25 Questions; 25 minutes)

5. Quantitative (15 Questions; 15 minutes)

As soon as I finished my Interview with DXC, I had my Hanu test within 30 minutes. I have a Mac so the test by default started on Safari. After completing 4 sections, I receive a mail in Junk from Hanu which stated that only Chrome or Firefox can be used to give the test. AHH! And on Safari.. the platform on which the test was being conducted didn't ask me for any camera permission (the test is monitored, can't even change windows/switch tabs). I then changed the browser to Mozilla Firefox and somehow finish the test. After finishing, I call up my classmates to find out how their test go. Know what? FUCKING TWATS USED GOOGLE LENS TO FIND OUT THE ANSWERS!

Last night, the list of qualifying students arrived and obviously I didn't make it to the list, but those dumbfucks did who don't even know what Cloud technology is or how it works. Neither they could do any average level program, nor have the communication skills. HOW?! HOW THEM AND NOT ME? Life is very unfair sometimes. I couldn't sleep at night.

PS: If you made this far, thank you for reading this rant (and sorry for it being so long). Makes it better to be able to share with someone. If you could, then please guide me (online resources/recommendations) to be better at competitive programming, or help me enhance my resume/linkedin or if you could refer me for an entry level position at your organisation, I would eternally be grateful. Thank you once again. And sorry for the long rant.

So yesterday I deployed a build on our release environment and i had added a new rest api end-point which I needed to test.. A heads up though, its written in java spring and the entire flow consisted of too many calls/returns from various other java & python services.. Also to make things worse, the entire deployment is a really cumbersome process as you need to copy the build from one box to another..

After like almost 4-5 hours of debugging, adding logs left right & center, crazy upload speeds (yaa this is sarcastic) and frustation at its peak, I found the issue..

There was an if condition that was checking for equality between an enum constant & an enum in a request aaaannnnnddd

*Drum roll

THE CONSTANT ENUM BELONGED TO THE WRONG PACKAGE HENCE ALWAYS EVALUATING TO FALSE... ALSO, BOTH THE ENUMS IN THE DIFFERENT PACKAGES ARE IDENTICAL... FUCCKKKKKKK MY LIFE

😑🔫

Yesterday I stayed at home sick. Had a bad case of the EXPLOSIVE DIARRHEA FROM HELL. Was feeling ok but could not walk away from me throne.

Went in today cuz the lead was not gonna be there and shit always breaks on Freyja's day as we all know.

1 and a half hours before we clock out and go home someone calls saying that students are trying to drop from classes at the last minute and our app ain't doing it.

I "fixed" the app last week and ran a small login test. It work so I thought it was fine. Stupid me for making unprofessional and retarded assumptions.

Manager freaks out. The entire school freaks out. Coworker lols cuz he ain't got to work on it. I start mind debugging the entire bitcheridoo.

45 minutes later...and I was able to successfully go through almost 15k lines of code of php/html/js code and fucking FIXED it with tests and all for real.

Went at it hard. Babe ass manager was like 0.0 and then (͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Called head office and told them everything was undr control.

Dropped the phone like a mic. Mic drop.

Then I looked at manager and coworker and said "ya I fucked up, but I am still the king"

Both nodded in agreement.

Everyone got wet with my sheer awesome troubleshooting php master skills.

Got home thinking about how boss I am.

Fucking Texas af b. Can't touch this heat. The rangers still suck and so do the cowboys. The astros and the texans don't exist because there is only room for one. Go spurs.

Still have diarrhea.

Fuck yeah.

One day I will understand those git jokes :)

//socially acceptable objectification
//of women
public class Woman : Person
{
}

//I'll see myself out.

Why is native Java UI development have to be so f*cking hard??

Learnt the hard way

NEVER WRITE THE UI BEFORE WRITING THE BUSINESS LOGIC

So yesterday I finally received my rubber ducks at work.
Now I feel like I can work.

!dev
My neighbors are absolute assholes.

I can't get enough sleep. This is driving me nuts. Worst of all, they're all students. I've called the cops on them once, but still the same behavior.
Am about to lose it, ngl.

OMG it’s 4 am, and I think I made a stupid fucking mistake and waste everybody’s time. Need to check right now

*check*

Ah nah, we’re good. I am not a moron

You know the anxiety that is caused by having your boss breathing down your neck as you fix something?
.....
WELL I DON'T
SIT DOWN MOTHERFUCKER AND WATCH THIS SHIT

I fucking invite this micromanaging fuckery. Come on dude get closer and check this shit out. Countless hours perfecting my sweet skills, lemme show them to you and make yo dumbass feel inadequate AF

dude was literally looking as i saved the day over some fuckery that happened while i was taking care of alllll the other motherfucking support tickets.

Dude even said wow.

I said "i am in this bitch what's up?"

Guarantee mfkers won't fuck with you if you show them how much of a fucking boss you are.

*doesn't drop mic
*smashes guitar instead

Writing bad code has its perks.

Whenever you are hungry you only have to write a few lines of code and you get some spaghetti

//begin midnight rant

THATS IT, I AM PISSED OFF NOW ABOUT THIS SNAPCHAT SHIT!!!

I DON'T GIVE A FUCK !!!

I DIDN'T GIVE A FUCK WHEN SNAP CHAT WAS INVENTED

I DIDN'T GIVE A FUCK WHEN WATSAPP COPIED ITS FEATURE(yeah I haven't seen your pathetic story)

AND I ALSO DONT GIVE A FLYING FUCK ABOUT THE SHIT ITS GOTTEN INTO NOW.

as a guy who is allergic to people I stay the fuck away from such apps.

but for God's sake get real u shit heads... Uninstalling an app is not an achievement worth bragging about( there is a drag and drop interface for it in ur Android phone)

Here is a guy who started his own company when he graduated from college and is providing employment to 100s of ppl and ur going to put that at risk just because your fragile ego was hurt because of "poor country " comment fuck u do your research that comment was made in 2015 when a monthly 1gb 3g internet would burn a hole in your pocket

Go screw yourselves u brain dead pieces of shit if u r so worked up about being called a poor country then start a company and provide jobs for the people who are struggling(why would you when uninstalling an app is so much easier).

Any one with 300 mg of common sense would have realize that the video would have difficulty in buffering in your slow ass 2g internet pack in your phone in 2015 when Jio sim was not yet introduced.

People like you are the reason I wish the super villains would win at the end of sifi movies.

I hope God(if there is one and if ever he decides to give a fuck) would give the guys who built this app the strength to get through this shit storm

PEACE OUT

//End of mid night rant

MFW the new language begins to make sense.

My debugging friend!
I AM GROOT!

Behold, my 34 year old little baby (more like big daddy), the Acorn Electron. Still running fine but god is that BASIC awful.

Recruiters will be asking for devRant profile alongside the Github profile.

*Sigh

Every single one of us here loathe this question "Hey can you hack a Facebook account for me?"

Even worse when the one asking is your mom.
😶😶😶

(Backstory, she and her friend runs a store. Shit happened between them. The friend is the one who setup the store's Facebook page. Now posting shit on that page. She's not tech savvy. I can probably brute force her password. No 2FA)

Dilemma. Dilemma.

>On a call with Manager
>he's showing off some code
>oh cool he's finally assigning me some real work

PM: So yeah, just wanted to have you on a call to show you how easy it was to fix this.

Me: ... Oh... OK.

PM: yeah so this was completely broken. The last guy that was working on this didn't do a great job. Like seriously, what is this? Amateur hour? Hahaha

Me:... Haha... Yeah, right... 🫠

PM: anyways I figured I would go ahead and do this because it would take me 10 minutes to figure out. It would probably would have taken you 3 hours or something to figure out.

Me: ok... <why tf am on this call other than for you to shit on my skills?>

PM: anyways just wanted to walk you through what I did and show you how easy it was to fix.

Me: ok.

That moment when you shout "i'm a fucking genius" too loud when you find out the solution after 2 hours of brain fuck, and your colleagues think you're crazy

Every time someone gets the "blue screen of death"

I lost my kindle :'(

Visual studio 2017 with Xamarin:

* writing some sweet code, life is good.. build and run.
*change int age to 2, build, build failed, no single message why.
*clean, clean failed, no single message why.
* build rebuild clean all or by project, nothing works, no single message why.
*change nothing, restart VS, build success !
* writing some code, same problem
*restart VS, "this project is not compatible with Visual Studio"

Good bye guys, I'm gonna kill myself

Running nano inside a terminal emulator buffer inside vim 8)

Update: Apparently, I just needed to leave the apartment.

College is going to kill me.
😵

Any girls developers around here?

Thanks everyone for giving me enough ++ to get my very own stress ball, also a special thanks zuckABird. If it wasn't for your data collecting madness i would of missed out. Ha

Package not found
Add dependency
Package not found
WTF is wrong with you IntelliJ?!

... 5 Minutes later ...
Oops, wrong module 😥

<form>
<fieldset>
<legend>I am</legend>
</fieldset>
</form>

Complete and total rant:

You know what fucking confuses the holy fucking shit out of me? DESIGN

I have MAD respect for motherfuckers that spend their days tailoring shit away in CSS, writing custom animations and toggles in JS and ensuring that their HTML is pristine as fuck. I really do and in my opinion they should b getting mad props from everyone, because if they so decide to learn GOOD server side scripting then they are most definitely on their way to create some awesome functional and beautiful shit.

But...

I am not a designer by any means of it. And I know that shit is supposed to look good and work across a multitude of devices. Doing something like that takes me a couple of lines of code (granted, after hours of work that is) that may take a designer way less.

But why oh why do I see THOUSANDS of lines of CSS code for shit that does not take me half the amount of work that it takes other people?
Like seriously. I am trying to emulate the menu that university of Chicago uses(as an example for a lil design practice cuz i suck at it) and looking into their CSS I see thooooousands of lines of code to do something that I did in about two hundred.

So wtf man, do I suck so hard that I am missing some serious shit? wtf is happening? This confuses me, because in my mind it should take me just about as much work as it takes them right?

AGAIN MAD RESPECT FOR DESIGNERS -- If you are a designer reading this please tell me wtf is happening

So I never had a proper education in IT. Started web development as a hobby, then some people started giving me money for it, and here I am, working as a fulltime web dev since 2001 and SEO expert since 2010.

Still, I sometimes wonder how much I really know compared to some fresh coder who just got out of university.

I know how to create great software from A to Z, but still I sometimes get the feeling that I am missing the fundamental basics.

Is that weird?

Client refers to me as a designer *cringe*

Oh hey little guy! We solve everything together!

Had an idea for an app. I started writing the prototype in Node since I just had a simple API in mind. Wanted to have some very basoc crud functionality going and then hook up a nice interface to it. It has to do with logistics and analytics so I just wanted to start sketching something small, and being that i have been successful in doing an API like this in the pass with node and mongo for a local company I said why not.

I have finished a good chunk of it. Gotta love that js productivity. But what tripped me out about it was:

Check how big the folder size is: 387mb

EXCUSE ME??!!

I tripped, there was no way in hell this shit was that heavy. I am basically using Koi(to give it a whirl instead of express, gotta start testing koi sometimes right?) And some joi with morgan and winston. That is it. I am using mongo since legit its the only one i know, even with that there really can't be that much right?

Check node_modules size.....10mb....wtf? What
Wait
Did it?

Sure as shit....forgot that i was storing the mongo data folder inside the app's root folder.

This would have been nothing if it would have taken me 30 seconds to figure it out.

I was losing my mind for 30 mins before i decided to properly verify

I need some sleep

This is a server in my school and I was wondering... Is it okay to have a server everyone can access? There's no key or other security need to the room needed.

Some folks I cannot remember keep popping up with their 'i am back' posts and make me wonder: "should I know this lad? Was he here before me? Was he posting so little quality content that I didn't even notice him? Will I offend that person by saying idk who he is? Should I really care...?

Some people just lack so much independence, damnit!
Einmal mit Profis arbeiten ... ! (*) 😒

(*) German expression that expresses depending on tone or context a mild to severe frustration as well as the desire to work with qualified people just ... once?! Maybe?! Please?! Often used in IT and dev contexts, because - you know.

Many people told me that all my face expressions look pretty the same. Whatever my mood (angry, happy, surprised) there is no much difference that appears in my face.

Well I didn't believe them until I tested a "Facial Emotion" program written on Python, and it gives me ~almost~ all the time that my facial expression is: Neutral.

Well, I think the algorithm is not well implemented 😐

Teaching my little sister Mathematics (Grade/Class 12. Not at all easy).

And I can really understand the textbook definitions in the chapters. Back then, I never understood a single line of it.

Am I a more sound mathematician now or reading poor documentations has improved my skill to read complex and minimal contents!

Heights of laziness.

My dad's laptop having "WINDOWS OS" got full of viruses and my dad wanted me to repair it since I visited my home.
But I insisted him to get it repaired at some IT shop. Went to an IT shop, my dad introduced the shopkeeper that I am his son and is a software engineer. That moment, I really felt bad that even I could have done formatting and installing applications back.

Now, let's hope it comes back full healthy and clean.

X: Hi, regarding that ticket that you made...

You said "Implement logging to find out the culprit in site generation"...

What do you mean exactly?

Me: "Read the meeting notes, we had a full discussion on this 2 weeks ago".

X: "We don't understand it..."

Me: "As I said before, I have no experience in this tech stack... I'd expect bla to have a logging framework and I'd - for easier recognition - implement additional logging levels based on criteria <me just reading the meeting notes>"

X: But how do we do it?

...

I wish I had invented this discussion.

Because it hurts.

For the jolly of it, I had similar discussions today.

Three times to be exactly.

As I asked some dev what I should do next, put a foley catheter up his urethra or change the bed pan he wasn't amused.

Guess I'll get monday a call of HR.

So Monday I have less work to do, which is awesome.

Run 'ifdown enp3s0' via SSH. You will not be disappointed.

Time: 0600 hrs.
Mental State: Almost falling asleep on my laptop

I get a call from my "random cousin" with whom I haven't spoken in a looooong time, and he says "Hey, Good Morning ! I can't connect to my WiFi from my Windows laptop running Windows 7. Can you help ?.."

That moment when you TRULY believe in the person who developed the "Network Diagnostics" utility on Windows and ask the "random cousin" who calls you up at 6 AM to try it...

And he sends you this screenshot after some time ...

And then you have to wake up and pinch yourself to see if you are in a dream...

Long sleepless day ahead...

Regarding my last rant: I AM FUCKING DUMB!

When I receive data from the master Arduino, a hardware interrupt runs and oversteps my main loop stuff!

Lesson? NEVER WRITE HARDWARE LATCHES ON THE MAIN LOOP WITH A HARDWARE INTERRUPT WHICH IS MOST OF YOUR FUCKING CODE!!

Had to consume a soap webservice which spits out a XML of 5000 lines with ambiguous node names and a shitload of data that needs to be parsed.

Built a ORM model to hold all the data and I already built a Xmlparser which works like a boss.. untill now..

I've been debugging for 3 hours, cursing every God man ever made up. Swearing at my screen like a madman... but this particular set of nodes just didn't got saved properly to the DB...

Alright, so my ORM definition is fucked... nope... Alright, so my XmlParser is fucked... nope...

Whaaaaat the fuuuuck...

Oh wait, I've been checking the wrong table for hours....

Hooray for ambiguous tables because I followed the ambiguous structure.

I am going to get drunk now.

X

I am a fucking software developer and not an IT guy, I write code and if the fucking printer is not connecting, throw it out of the window, that's way better than calling me for help, because one day, I'll do that, and you'll regret...

Dad: “Cool! Now you can sit around like you always do!” 😑

Mom: “So you are programming the computer? Can you show me how to do x on my computer/iPhone?” Except it’s the same questions every single time... She never learns...

Brother: Talks to me about jailbreak stuff

And of course, they all ask me how to fix things on different electronics.

I was having great progress in reverse-engineering the devRant Avatar system...

And then I came to the shirt list.

109 SHIRTS THAT HAD TO BE METICULOUSLY DOCUMENTED AND GIVEN AN INDIVIDUAL CODE

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Holy shit! How come nobody told me I can long press an image on devRant to save it?!? I've been taking screenshot of images I like this whole time..

When you close 30+ tabs after a 4 hour long debugging session.

The feeling I get after solving a bug that took me tons of hours to solve

Community Question:
Do you immediately update your avatar after barber shop?

When your boss wants you to be more creative...

To anyone I offended this year:

Work on yourself so I don't gotta do it again in 2025.

Shamless rant towards the shamless Cursey dude. 😫

So whole day I have been trying to pass a variable from laravel blade view to vue2 component file. All in seperate files. I know that I have successfully passed 1 or 0 in same flow before. So I was following the same steps to pass my string variable. It kept giving me undefined. No google helped and I had been doing all kinds of stupid useless trials. All failed.

Because it is supposed to fail. 😐
I only learned it at the end of the day.

Me sitting down to code for the first time in months after having an extended focus on design

I let my programming buddy comment all the code I write. He's great. His comments looks like this:
/*
I am groot!
*/

That moment when you spent over 2 hours recreating and fixing someones bug on stackoverflow and then he just copies your solution and gives himself the best answer.

A real chef will rant about a freaking knife sharpness and weight and handle and all that shit. Because a real chef knows what he is holding.

Us? We are happy as long as the knives in our hands can cut some stuffs or stab some people.

// Disclaimer : I just left this comment on a rant where OP claimed many users (average users) have no issues with a particular OS while a bunch of self proclaimed developers have lots of trouble with that particular OS.

i am actually exciting to go to work tommorow.

Thats weird.

Over the weekend the gf was away and it was quite boring, gaming didnt do the thing so i relaxed quite a lot but i am somewhat excited to continue to work tomorrow, to further my project. I was able to stop to do nothing at home, but still..its a bit weird

My designer just had an user interview where the user is a developer and my designer showed him the mock-ups of a no code tool that we are building, asking the dev for his input.

She literally had a session with a guy announcing him that we are building a tool that will put him out of work and moreover asked him for inputs so that we miss no use case.

And in another story, one of my dev lead decided to decommission an entire feature and replace it will a hacky solution because the devs in her team were not comfortable using the current design in their development stage. Hence, without user research, any strong use case, or considering business implications, she went ahead and drafted the entire approach on how to fuck everyone.

I am out of my honeymoon phase at my new org and I am scared. Shit scared.

10 chapter book due in 5 days?

Oh well…

If everything goes like the usual, my Valentine date will be a bunch of old code I need to refactor

In the last 3 days I have managed to burn my tongue twice because of hot coffee and I have always wondered for which idiots they write 'caution, contents hot' on the cups.

I guess I am one of them

Got my DNA test report today
And it says i am genetically dumb , so that’s interesting

Printers drivers, am I right?

I'm a web dev who decided to take a shot at mobile development (My first mobile app mind you). I'm writing a mobile app and one of it's features is communicating to my server via websockets.

So I write the code, click to send the data and my server doesn't receive it. Fuck. I check why. I log everything. Nothing.
I spend several of hours and I'm exhausted by this point so i call one of our mobile developers to help me. Turns out my emulator didn't have a WiFi module. FUCK.

Alright so I compile it to an apk and install it on my phone. I popped open a terminal and started my local node server.

I click on the mobile app...

NOTHING LOGS. FUUUUUUCK.

And this is the best part.
Apparently I deleted the console.dir call from my server that executed when it received some data from an emitter.

I only thought of this last night at 2am so I got up and checked. Yep. Kill me.

BB..but HOW?????

My boss told me(less than a year experience) I am the project lead now.... Makes me nervous that 10 minutes ago I was comment bitch/business analyst..... How much should I panic? He was serious and I command 20 people who have never used git

Back at school after summer break and all the couches are gone and replaced by benches.

Me : *testing json output on pc by sending items with GET*
App : *app crashing with only recyclerview error*
Me : *debugging the app for 2 hours and testing ways to do another adaptor *
Me : fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu... I used POST to get the data on app and forgot to change $_GET $_POST
Lesson learned. Always check the input first
Im ashame of my self #crysinthecorner

Almost a month has gone by with my new job, and I already hate it. I thought it would be fun... but it is the worst!
They expect us to work 24/7! What are we? Robots? I am not working 24/7, end of discussion. Even if this means I have to quit my job at the end of this week if they don't agree to my "demands" about having a healthy working hours. I am already looking for a new job, because I got a feeling they won't want me there anymore after this week, because we're going to have a meeting about this.

I was making changes in JS and it did not get reflected into the browser, spent 3 hours on it. Later realised I was making changes in the wrong JS file. Have never felt this dumb in my life.

Can I have a big applause for this recruitment agency that baffled me in a good way?

No I'm not kidding! Their employers are actually not total fuckwits at all, as opposed to ALL previous recruiters I've had the nauseating displeasure of meeting.

They really found me 3 perfectly fitting jobs! (and I'm known to be picky)

I said “furrowing his little mouth brow” because I forgot the word “frowning”.

English is my first and only fluently spoken language.

Steps to becoming one with your code:
1.Get red lamps and make em trippy asf.
2.Syntax color the shit out of your editor.
3.Install activate-power-mode
4.Get high or tipsy
5.Listen to surround psytrance
6.Code

Congratulations you are now in a higher level of existence. You are one with your code and your will is root.

*Disclaimer: Marnsghol is not responsible for any: Injury, death, damage to personal or company property, losing job, getting arrested and/or efficiency problems in work environment. Discretion is advised*

Why GitHub? Why????

Nothing like paper and a pen in early States of development :)

Do not drink a lot of alcohol when you are severely dehydrated.

Much regret.

Must find rag to fill with cold water, wring out, and place over eyes to reacquire that sweet, sweet unconsciousness.

Unrelated, if I haven’t told y’all that you should never Chumbawamba, you should never Chumbawamba. I did it once in uni and it was a super bad time. (Chumbawamba is what I call using Tubthumping as an instruction set. Do not take a whisky drink, then a vodka drink, than a lager drink, then a cider drink, etc etc.)

Oh, how my colleagues think I have psychic powers and am able to discern what is the problem they face just by being notified of its existence.

I am in love.
I am in love with all the guys and girls working at Microchip support.
I am the kind of user that does not really understand what he's doing/what he wants to do, so I am constantly stuck in stupid configuration errors or looking for impossible solutions, yes I am THAT kind of a user...

Here is a PWM working, a support guy spent some minutes telling me that I have to connect to the right pin.
Ok, he had to tell me twice.😳
Thank you, it may have taken me days to find out this.

They does not know, but there is a HUGE amount of decreasing dumb question incoming 😈
Please be kind with me, and don't get mad when things will get serious, I will probably bring hell in your office, I am very sorry for that...

Still, thank you for helping the dumbest learner-by-mistake that doesn't know how to recognize a mistake.

I can't write this in the ticket system, I hope someone of you use devRant! (atsame54 office, I am talking with you!)

You are my stack overflow, and the project I will develop with your help is quite the only thing left before my graduate.

I will owe you so much beers, love you guys!!!

You know you are not normal and way outside of this world when you shake your head up and down, and get convinced while you read about new definitions on existing words ON A FUCKING SATURDAY!

was invited to contribute to a project. after about 60 commits in a row, multiple refactorings and several added modules it feels like having highjacked the project. the owner sits in silence. prolific but awkward.

I UNDERSTAND POINTERS (kind of) HAHAHAHA NOW I JUST NEED TO KNOW HOW TO USE THEM AND I WILL BE UNSTOPPABLE

Look at this awsome css

Don't have anything to say, so here is Spotify being glitched.

So I installed the JACK audio connection kit on my Linux box, set up drivers, configured routings properly, etc etc.

Tried playing basic sounds. No output. Panic.

Redid configuration, tried again. No output. Panic++

Reinstalled JACK, tried again. No output. Panic++

Reinstalled drivers and checked ALSA (audio subsystem). All good. Tried again. No output. Panic++

Hit the Mute shortcut on my keyboard to unmute my speakers, tried again. Worked. :facepalm:

I am such an idiot, fml.

Things that I "shouldn't" put in the code:
cout << "Starting bitcoin harvester..."
cout << "Contacting IP 95.24.69.42..."
cout << "Passing control to remote IP"

Also, my boss wanted me to merge to master. I want to tell him my difficulties:
"Had issues with fluix inhibitor for the linker. Had to stretch the void pointer vector to fit the elongated float system. This helped with the binary pretranscompiler moderator in the remote modem configurator. Now everything is working fine."

Can't even take a look at rant. Toggl knows everything, Toggl watches...

That moment when github's desktop 💻 app auto-corrects "json" to "son", is just lame.

Let the Windows Updating begin... I think I am going to need Red Bull for this shit...

That awkward moment when you realize you haven't been editing the file you should have been.

What do you think of LinkedIn's quizzes? I passed the JavaScript one but failed JSON... JSON!! Are you fucking serious! How is that even possible!!!

FML I am an idiot.. might end up in a rant here (well deserved!!) //if you are here reading this I'm so sorry again!!

I wrote to our support I need DP/HDMI cable.. they asked me to take a pic of the cable I'm currently using.. WTF?! Don't you know how connectors look?! Just get me the damn cable.. :/
Ok.. Took a picture.. sent it back.. At that time I still didn't see the problem with what I wrote/demanded..
Got back reply this is not HDMI connector... FML, I was so convinced computer had HDMI ports so even when I took the pic I wasn't paying attention.. Fuck.

And before when I was switching cables behind the computer below desk I was just blindly feeling around, it didn't even occurr to me to actually check what connectors are used..just knew both monitors had the same connector (and not aure why I thought HDMI :/)...so yeah, I'm the idiot who is not paying attention to stuff.. Fuck.. Was on a scavanger hunt for a wrong type of cable the whole time.. Sorry again!! And please don't kill me next time you see me.. o.O

At what point can I claim to not be a script kiddie anymore?

Like, I've built compilers, and interpreters for an excel-like syntax, I refactored a pdf-parsing library from the ground up. I managed databases and wrote protocols for communicating with hardware.

But most of my experience is with python / nodejs / golang. It is only recently that I started playing with C and rust for actual efficient system code.

When you hash time entries by year and you are freaking out to make sure your server doesn’t crash due to differing time zones while your family is celebrating New Year’s...

So guys I'm about to buy a laptop, I want something that will endure, I was thinking about 16 ram, 1 TB with SSD, and obviously 17.3" screen, any suggestions?

When your classmates come to you for help

In This Rant: A mildly satisfying piece of mind story.

Using code to prove yourself right is a hell of a drug.

A few weeks ago I whipped up a tiny program that downloads configs from hardware we manage. Since the vendor's API documentation is hidden behind a pay wall, my method of extraction is different. It results in bigger files, but testing showed it to still be valid.

Enter today. Interns at work downloaded a config to load onto a spare machine and it won't work.

"TheCapeGreek, your configs don't work"

I was confused since I tested the files when I built it and it worked. I am also currently fleshing out that download utility's features so the fear that I've been wasting the past 2 weeks on improvements is looming.

Last 15 minutes of the day and nothing else to do so I figured I might as well whip up a string comparer. The smaller file's content is scattered in the big file so a direct diff won't work.

Code it all, quick hardcoded proof of concept code, bit it got the job done. I was right, my bigger file is still correct!

Turns out the issue was with the machine they were configuring. They found this out before I finished my test code, so I'm off the hook already, but it was good to have piece of mind haha!

I just noticed, it seems no one rants much about their work or work mates anymore... Or ever?

Guess I missed the notice...

tldr: I am a human with dreams and doubt.

At the Univeristy you end your course of study with a thesis, and there are two kind of thesis: compilative and progettual.

Compilative means that you study something and then make a report about it. Usually I see that this kind of thesis is done by people who just want to end the course.

Progettual means that you actually develop something, maybe driven by a professor, doing something new, or try something in a different way to see if it works... This is for the good guys.

but mine does not fit any of those.
I studyed a lot about some topics, I learned to use the existing tools, I learned to decide which tool is better and when. I learned the open problems in the field. And my thesis is an analysis for a solution for some of them. I did not develop a project, but I didn't just study something. And I am giving the base for a much bigger project.
And I did everything on my own, the prof who is supposed to drive my work let me go on, and I never really asked for his help.

Obviously everything is a mess, the thesis describes broadly a large range of things, who are outside my course, and I am just copying from here and there (avoiding wikipedia because I would be ashamed of that) (I mean, I avoid wikipedia and jump directly to the source).

I actually made a little project from the conclusion of my analysis, but it is more of a mistake than other.

And maybe I am writing this to grow my pride, and avoid depression. To tell me I am not a total failure. Or maybe am I really good as I dream to be? (because that is how pride works, doesn't it?)
I intented a new kind of thesis! Ah!

I will see the prof on wednesday and the deadline is on saturday! I will let you know!

and oh!I am writing it in english so you can read it!
Just kidding, I don't give a fuck about anything anymore, I just want to end this mess, and in english is easier to copy.
I learned from this big mistake of a thesis, next time I will make sure that the prof drives me, because I am 20 and cannot do an analysis such complex on my own.
becauuuuseeee yes! There will be a next time! I am graduating in december, but I am following the master courses since september! In january the first exams! I am practically already thinking about the next thesis. Suggestion on other mistake to avoid?

Did you know James Joyce and the stream of consciuosness? Well, here it is.

I may have spelled something wrong, I hope everything is undestandable.

wow, 2500 characters of rant, I am improving writing the thesis in english!

mngr, out.

You can kill me now...

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Lets be honest guys.
We all pretend to be Richard but we are just a bunch of "Big Heads". And some of you guys fuck.

>be intern me
>switch between JavaScript and python all day
>make some extra effort to comply with linters
>slowly forget how to write a for-loop block

You know these things that are obviously coming but you do not want to do them at any cost so you just keep on pushing them away?

Well it looks like I'm going to be homeless in January...

Just got my laptop back from the store, after having sent it in over 6 weeks ago due to a faulty keyboard. I had made a system image of the hard drive before I sent it in, so I could just restore it and have it ready to go. So I get the backup restoring, and at around 75%, the laptop died. I forgot to plug it in.

I am now currently downloading windows. This is going to be a long night.

I've seen a bunch of people criticizing the people who repeatedly criticize/hate windows.

Lemme stop you right there.

Now, hating on something just because it IS that something is stupid, I'll grant you that much. But when windows does stupid shit, I am going to complain about said stupid shit.

Deal with it.

!rant
What use is all my theoretical knowledge of patterns, structures and paradigms when I am too lazy and unconcentrated to actually sit down and get my ideas running?

just did a stochastic exam for my cs degree and let's say it didn't go very well (i'm not very good at stochastic)😒
had a question like: "how many possibilities exist if you divide 8 people into 2 equal groups of 4?" (with 5 different choices to answer)
shouldn't that be 8 over 4 (binomial)? so pick 4 people and 4 remain as the second group, that makes 70 combinations, as far as i know ...
but there wasn't any 70. I then divided by 2 so i got 35 which was one of the available answers🤷, is that correct? did i understand smth wrong?

Am I the only one who hates when I enter a simple question like "PHP memory limit" and the first link *isn't* the official PHP documentation? Who gives a flip about some fancy third-party webpage where they write a whole flippin' article about a simple directive?

Ugh... The priority Google...

I can follow and am fine with the Vue documentation. I go crazy when I read online tutorials. I don't know webpack. I don't know ES6. I don't know nodejs. Arrghhh.

It is like all of a sudden I'm thrown into an English speaking courtroom as a lawyer or into a bunch of Brits.

Company Emails that tell you
who they are
what believe in.
How they were the market leaders since the stone age.
what their values are
what their holistic approach to life is. How they are diversifying inclusiveness to include diversity.
And how all of this bull shit ties into you being a ideal employee of the organisation
Just to get you to fill a damn form.

Makes me wish the next attempt at human extinction succeeds.

Whenever I see someone swear, for example, 'fucking managers'. I think of fucking as a verb.
Which makes it 'managers that are fucking'. Pretty entertaining when you're bored or having a bad day. 😅

I spent hours trying to support \n, \r and \r\n in my algorithms to convert between utf16 line/col and utf8 absolute indices to comply with the LSP, before realizing that

- Orchid itself doesn't support \r
- There is no established user base

so I'm in the best position to reject all files that contain \r and offer to convert them instead.

To anyone who likes to solve problems, here's one:

How can I (m29) get the idea into my boss' thick skull (m50), that the crisis meeting he had with the client could be averted by just using what every other software development company uses (git), without being explained what the difference between a .java and .class file is?

!rant, story

Wonder if I’m alone on this:
I have habits.
Always use the same cup, with very same amount of coffee grounds. Same four presses with the same fingers on the coffee machine.
Same way I place the cups in my desk. Same way I carry my notebook, same way I dry my hands. Same exact spot I place my card on the rfid reader. Use same elevator, same locker. God.
You name it, I do it on my own particular way.

Thing is, that I think about it. I do it consciously. I am just happier if things stay the way they are. It not just muscle memory thing.

Not judging here, just wonder if there’s people who can relate as much 🧐

One project deadline coming up, one presentation to be given next week, and 3 exams on consecutive days.
Scared as fuck. 😭
I hope I pass.
Wish me luck!

Real-world algorithmic question: What is the most efficient way to pop all bubbles on a large sheet of bubble wrap?

You can only use your fingers.

That feeling when you realize what's causing that one stubborn error.

I had to remind our companys self-proclaimed "Excel Wizard" how to do a vlookup today

Is it weird that, despite the professional setting, when a client actually thanks us/me for swift/efficiently done job that I feel a little happier with myself?

Today I was told by my team leader that I hadn't given them proper access to our website and they can't edit it. The repo is hosted on github and is opensource. Also the link can be found on the site....