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My thoughts on programming:
As a child:
It is 100% magic
As a developer:
It is 65% if/else statements, 34% iterating an array, 1% actual amazing and unique code17 -
Sometimes I feel frontend development is like ancient magic:
Backend Dev: Oh no, I can't align this DIV properly.
FE Dev: No worries!
* Casts Flexius Boxius on the DIV *
* Div aligns slightly better *
BE Dev: But it's not centered!
FE Dev: No worries!
* Casts Marginis Automaticus! *
* Rolls natural 1 *
* Everything collapses *
* Website is on fire *
* Product owner cries *
FE Dev: No worries!
* Casts Flexius Boxius level 5 on the parent div *
* Everything looks beautiful *
* People are in awe *
FE Dev: You are welcome!
* Adjusts his robe and leaves *8 -
"Is my presence still required?"
5 magic words which serve as a free escape out of every endless meeting, while telling your boss how ambitious you are, and your coworkers that their tangential discussions are boring as fuck.6 -
RegEx is same magic as machine learning. You punch the keyboard untill you get desired output, just a bit less cool.
8 -
*QA chick tries to run software
*software doesn't start / throws an exception
*she does chmod 777 *
*still doesn't work
*blames developer
SHE DOES A FUCKING CHMOD 777 ON EVERY FUCKING FILE AND FOLDER LIKE THIS IS SOME BLACK MAGIC FUCK14 -
I was presenting a paper about "P5.js". My line began with "P5.js is a javascript library ... (and I went on)".
After my conclusion one of the judges asked me "Is this based on JavaScript?"
My reply "No sir, Magic!".
(Funny part - Got first prize.)6 -
Friend asked me, "How does it feel being the CTO of a startup?"
Me: "I feel like the main character in one of those cartoons where train, going full speed, is running out of rail road, so he takes rails from behind the train and puts them in front. And the entire thing is on fire. And everyone you hire is trying to put it out with gasoline."
Friend: "Doesn't your CEO help?"
Me: "Well... He had never seen a train before, and he thought they operate on magic and wishful thinking. And he never realized they need rail track to even run. So... not really"
Friend: "So, it's pretty bad, ha?"
Me: "It's great actually. We just closed our seed round. We're about to launch beta. I might even get 5-6 hours of sleep this weekend 😅"10 -
Manager: Give me an estimate for this project.
Me: It will take end to end approx two months.
Manager: Can you do it in a day. Make some magic happen. This is high critical for business.
Me: Sure. I have a small requirement from you to achieve it.
Manager: What
Me: Please get me the 'Limitless' capsule.9 -
So this guy is supposed to do the frontend.
I do the backend.
I offer an endpoint.
He does his HTML+CSS magic.
Me: Cool but data is hardcoded. Could you get the data from the endpoint I sent you?
Him: "I'd prefer you do that, I can make a git repo so you download the front."
... So you don't do frontend, you just write pretty layouts. And I have to actually write the frontend logic? Go f yourself.13 -
A Developer is desperate: his java application servers are unresponsive, thousand of dead zombie threads are sucking all cpus, memory is leaking everywhere, garbage collector has gone crazy, the cluster sessions are fucked....
The Developer goes to the closest bridge, ties a stone to his neck and gets ready to jump.
Suddenly a bearded old man with a fiery look runs toward him, yelling:
- stop stop!!!! Your application is not scaling and misconfigured, your servers are melting, cpu usage is not sustainable anymore, but don't despair
The Developer, puzzled, looks at him:
-I've never seen you...how do you know...
- Hey, man, I'm the Devil. I know everything. All your problems are solved. I'll give you magic functions. They are called Lambda.
You'll never have to worry about your servers, scalability, security, configuration and shit.
The Developer seems astonished but relieved:
- Ok, sounds great! let's try it - suddenly suspicion creeps in - hmmmm but you are the Devil....so...you want something back, don't you?
(the Devil nods lightly with a diabolic smile)
- ...and...you want my soul, I guess...
- your soul??? come on!!! - the Devil burst in a laugh - we are in 2019. I don't care about your soul. I want your ass.
- What!???!!!?
- yes, I want to fuck your ass
The Developer, evaluates quickly the situation.
Few moments of pain or slight discomfort (?) in exchange for magic lambda. It could be worth. He accepts.
After a while of rough anal fucking, the devil asks
- Hey, how old are you anyway?
- 45, why?
- Oh jeeez...45!!!??? and you still believe in the devil?5 -
Having to deal with stupid testers who think your app should be resistant to water and black magic and report a bug if it is not5
-
I'm so upset when developers starts to say that mac books are better and faster, even with windows, just because of what? Magic?apple logo? Compare them with a dell xps 15 with i7hq, ssd on pci xpress and if you care about display the 4k version is far better than retina... And no osx it's not faster than windows 10, there are comparison on the same hardware... Come on developers, you suppose to know the basics... If you prefer the macbook for design, because it's cool, fashion, light apple logo, ui, it's ok... Feel free to use it. But don't say things not true74
-
> TeamLeader1: I just discovered SQL is actually super fast! The low responsiveness I've experienced comes from our ORM!
> IHateForALiving: well of course SQL is blazingly fast. SQL has been refined by the best engineers in the world for the past 50 years, its performances are unparalleled for everything you could possibly need, unless you want to scale REALLY big. Sequelize, instead, is an Active Record ORM, so it's bound to struggle with huge amount of data, because every single row will get attached a significant amount of black magic to make sure everything syncs correctly. Why is that?
> TeamLeader1: I have a problem with this frontend component, it doesn't allow pagination. I tried downloading the whole DB to bypass that, but the ORM is slow... so I will bypass the ORM and download the whole table with a raw query. Look at that! It works like a charm, it's super duper fast!'
This mf is downloading some 35 thousand rows every time some user loads a page because he doesn't know how to paginate the fucking table with Angular, there's no way these people are real.
12 -
Business User [1 PM]: So I know every month you’ve been using your dark magic SQL skills to transform my monthly data into better monthly data.
Well I know it’s the middle of the month, and this is totally random... but... I have some other data formatted totally differently, almost totally different data! You can just run this through your magic SQL Proc right?? Easy! Also, I need this by end of day... thank you for your support.
Me [1:01 PM]: K.4 -
Number one thing I never expected, when moving networking equipment...
Some idiot wired a 230v socket in a mildly terrifying and dangerous way... Yes, that is 400v and all my equipment has now let out the magic white smoke...
Fuck some electricians!
24 -
*launch software*
> goes tits up with no info
*restart machine, launch software*
> still goes tits up
*su to the user it runs as and run it manually because fuck you shitstaind*
> still goes tits up
*launch with debug logs enabled*
> suddenly works
What is this black magic?!10 -
FUCKING USELESS 'FRIENDS' WHO ONLY CALL/MESSAGE FOR HELPING THEM TO CHOOSE TO SELECT APPROPRIATE LAPTOP FOR THEIR 'PURPOSE'. IM FUCKING DONE. THIS IS the THIRD TIME IN THIS WEEK. STOP GETTING ON MY GODDAMN NERVES. VISIT AMAZON FOR FUCKS SAKE, APPLY FILTERS AND BOOYAH MAGIC. YOU GET A FUCKING VARIETY OF LAPTOPS TO CHOOSE FROM. BUT NO YOU WON'T, BECAUSE YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO FUCKING USE AMAZON.6
-
Client called the office in an angry voice complaining about how he could nog see the data in the latest generated excel sheets. Calmy tryimg to figure out what could be the problem. Asked him to send over the file so I could check it. Works perfect on my end. Ask him to open the file again on his computer and tell me what he is seeing. Error message, empty excel file. He starts to me discribing a directory full of files and folders. 15 minutes later I finally figuren out what it is.
The guy had set winzip as default program for excel files. Hoe do these people work behind a PC Evert day. Are they like I hope this magic box with screen and buttond does everything right today.4 -
It has come to my attention that people like to read!
Specifically, I mean that a lot of ranters like fiction.. :D
I've been trying to decide on something to write for a while now, and I think I have it..
"The Traveler" (name open to suggestions)
The Traveler is a magic-based fantasy where our main character travels between world's using ancient stone portals (think: Stargate) and uses her unique powers to play god.
Each world she visits will equal to a different story, and she might play a good or bad guy (or both) depending on what the world has in store for her.
Her powers will include my WIP magic system from RISE, as well as some extra querks that aid the flow of the story.
I may still work on RISE, and I will keep in mind that The Traveler and RISE come from the same universe (I think RISE will be a prequel to The Traveler, and tell the tale of how she got her powers, and the origin of the portals..)
Let me know your thoughts below! ^~^34 -
People who message “I’m getting a error” without any context or even better the actual error message, no one else can see your screen and we can’t magic a fix, and we’re not f***ing psychic, tell us what the f***ing error is. Or better yet, figure it f***ing out like the rest of us, you also have google - go nuts16
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"Your XML is malformed by these strange tags CDATA. I've cleaned it up ;)"
Fuckity Fuck my boy, now the whole website is down. All hail the magic push to prod button.
(there were snippets of user provided HTML that was passed over XML by a microservice)6 -
A software is just a list of bits or we can say binary digits. Next time you developed an application just think you've just found a big "Magic number"! 🤗10
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Hmm best part of being a Dev? I guess it is the fact that you can know how things actually work in inside something instead of looking at it and saying "Its Magic!". It kinda ruins playing some games, since you figure them out pretty quickly.
Other than that, I like the feeling that I know enough about computers and performance and how things work that I can choose the best Desktop/Laptop and stay away from marketing bull. :)1 -
Nothing is working today. 😭😭😭😭
My perfect results of Friday have all disappeared.
It now seems like everything was running on magic on Friday. 😭😭6 -
It is time. I have to admit it.
I don't understand Git.
I just memorized some basic commands: git commit, git push, git push -u origin master, git clone, git checkout [-B], git merge. That's it, that's the full list. I use them like they're some kind of magic spells that do what I need. Everything else, those intricacies like rebasing, resetting, HEAD and all that shit, is beyond me.
I'm not a real programmer. Real programmers know Git.30 -
I hate buying new laptops. HATE IT. The manufacturers are always trying to do something that makes it more complicated to buy a laptop confidently.
Why not name all of the laptops with numbers? Make them really hard to differentiate. Then offer the same model number across multiple years so it is difficult to determine which year the laptop is from.
Oh. And let’s make sure every laptop has a major flaw in the form factor.
Let’a add a numpad that squishes the keyboard to the left in a weird way. Lets do something to the trackpad to make it awkward to use. Maybe the keyboard should have a weird configuration. Maybe we can put 4 spare characters of various colours on the symbol key caps. How about a battery only lasts a few hours. May we add specialized hardware so you are stuck with windows. Maybe we can make it super thick and heavy. Lets have a screen with terrible viewing angles. Since this laptop has no major flaws we should overprice it. No repairs or upgrades on this one because we filled the computer with glue. Lets double the amount of useless media keys.
It is like manufacturers are trying to design laptops like RPG game character classes. The fighter has no magic or stealth. The magician is weak and gets fatigued. The rogue is very stealthy but has poor defence and attack. The cleric can use magic but only to heal so it is useless in battle. The ranger is good at distance but has poor defence and no magic.
The only notebooks sold that are trying to make balanced character classes are MacBooks. Those cost a premium and aren’t reparable.17 -
It says "There was no battery found."
This laptop was not connected to a power adapter, but Windows also said that there is no battery. Did I missed the update where Microsoft implemented magic wireless energy?
7 -
Python rant
Where the hell is Break key?!
Story: I wrote multithreaded python script and went to Lab to test it. Script got stuck (one thread died) and I needed to stop that thing, but how without magic Ctrl+Break?
Damn you Dell with your slim and minimalistic keyboards!
10 -
I'm struggling with a bug. It's not my bug, it's in a lib - in an assembly function commented as "this is where the magic happens". After 27 hours of trying to determine what triggers said bug my best guess is it's a relationship between the position of Mimas and the mood of my neighbour's chonker. If it's not triggered by the Saturn's moon and a pet animal... I'm out of ideas.
Now how do I break it to my PM that we have to kill a cat?7 -
"Programming language is a convention to give order to computer. It is not supposed to be obscure, bizarre and full of subtlz traps. These are the characteristics of magic" - Dave Small9
-
Stacktraces with zero useful information.
Two full days of breakpoint stepping and framework spelunking.
"bifurcated" object creation.
Delegatd everything.
Inheritence hell fucking everywhere.
Models with both `has_one :x` AND `has_many :x`!?
Automatically-created objects when reading from magic virtual columns!?
What the fuck is this fucking four-dimensional spaghetti monstrosity and just how many angel puppies did I torture and maim in a previous life to deserve this nightmare?
And all of this to fix 12 fucking specs, out of the 1,780 this fucking ticket requires me to break and fix. FML5 -
We do infra as a code, and one of my coworker worked on the project alone. Few months down the road, when shit hits the fan, he just message me this is not working.
First of all, I did not write that shit, and also I was never part of the conversation during the decision making. So when shit hits the fan what do you expect me to do? Do some black magic and fix it magically???
1 -
after hours of trying to get the wifi working... Manjaro KDE is functional... and it's beautiful
Look at the blurred background behind the terminal! Magic!
Everything's so snappy... and the dark theme... I'm in love.
4 -
Today a junior dev from the company I'm working at as consultant, suddenly shouted:
😤"why the hell my software behaves differently on every pc here in the office ... But it works on my machine? I'm sure there's something wrong with the OS/Framework"
🤔 let me think for a moment ...
* is it because the whole office keep developing like the ancient romans did?
* is it because that software is such a mess that requires a wizard in order to manually change all the magic configuration strings ?
* is it because every damn developer there has his particular environment and the word "container" reminds you only the show where the people bid for unclaimed shit ?
* is it because the "guru" at your company decided it was a super cool idea to wrap EVERY single external library (that just works out of the box) into some obscure static helper without even a single trace of documentation and clue of what's wrong?
🤗"I don't know... Must be a bug in the OS or framework for sure" -
I just fixed my first code issue in my first IT job ever! Holy fucking shit I'm almost senior software engineer by now!
That magic joy of knowing that my instructions will run on someone else's computer is just mind-blowing. -
- be me
- get home hook laptop up to tv, realise you left your wireless mouse at work *fuck*
- remember you still have a wireless keyboard and are pretty handy with shortcuts *duh*
- use keyboard magic, launch Netflix and play the show you want to watch *yay 🎉*
- realise the fucking cursor is over the play bar so you have to get up anyway. *fuck*
These days keyboard shortcuts can only take you so far.6 -
A well written script is a lot like a spell.
You invoke it and well stuff( magic to few 😋 ) happens.
The resemblance is uncanny!
Well, off to the Wizarding world of IT Devops then.2 -
is it just me, or do some people just make life difficult for the fucking sake of making life difficult?
now, lets ignore the lack of sanitised data, lets also ignore the lack of prepared statements, and for the love of god... lets ignore some magic numbers, because I still don't know what they mean yet....
but why! why would you create an array, implode it, smash it into a database query on the fucking fly, instead of just adding the data into the query in the first place.... it's not like you were doing this right to begin with, but this... this is next level!
29 -
Some random steam codes. First one - first take. Comment when using the code for other to know it's done.
S.W.I.N.E. HD Remaster
RN4Y2-K7FLJ-LVIIA
DESOLATE
FWY7K-WLXV6-WBRPF
12 is Better Than 6
8NFJV-M7TAT-EDK3Z
Deadly 30
8B3EW-LA8C8-KDG32
Pixel Heroes: Byte & Magic
53729-ATIPM-4XGBZ
Safety First!
HBGA0-FZ2CT-N2DKT
Jessika
XFRVT-F5D7J-P4DQP7 -
NGL hearing the head of I.T ask you to help a brotha out and "do your magic" makes one feel pretty fucking legit.
I know I pull some magical shit, I know most developers in senior level positions or management do, but I also know we all rarely get recognized. The fact that someone would know that what you do is basically magic for your institution makes one feel so fucking good.
I really fucking try. Shit is hard and holding an entire department together sometimes gets the best of me, but I fucking try.
wish you all the same feelings all the time, always4 -
!rant
The more I learn about advanced C++ the more I love this language. C++'s template system is so insanely cool!
Just made a proof of concept expression templates based linear algebra library for my own projects. It was actually a lot of fun to make, and seeing it spit out optimized, loop-fused code with no temporary variables...magic.
Long live C++.7 -
Bloody Windows kept waking up after a few seconds of being suspended. Someone here mentioned it could be the mouse, so I disabled its function to wake the pc . And you know what? That piece of trash windows still kept waking up for no reason. Makes me angry.
So I found this magic command 'powercfg/lastwake', which shows the reason for the last wake. And look at that! The fucking realtek network shitcard is allowed to wake windows.
Why would windows enable that on its own? Why? Because I for sure did not make this change and suspend was working for me until a few months ago (yes, these kind of problems take me very long to fix, even though it would tske only two minutes).
4 -
So I set up push notifications from my Raspberry Pi to my Android phone, to know when exim sent a mail locally.
The easy part was the actual push notifications.
The more tedious part turned out to be looking for a way to send a notification for each mail.
After some research, Procmail seemed to be the only fitting tool to pass info to a command (in order to give the push notification some content so I know what's up)
In the middle of everything, I managed to fuck up exim system-wide, so mails didn't work, which was fucking great of course...
The magic receipt is this:
:0 c
| ${NOTIFY} -t "Pi mail: $SUBJECT"
Anyway, this is the result (using a test mail by mdadm + an actual degraded array I am still waiting on replacement drives for):
2 -
The internet is expensive as hell compared with salaries, we can't access to services like amazon, google cloud, gitlab, private github, Android, and a lot more because of USA sanctions (we have to do some magic and sorcery to use them), and in the other hand our government applys restrictive laws (we call it the double embargo) like that one who says that you can't host services for the country with international providers, and the only national hosting provider has a terrible, feature-less and super expensive service. But hey, we like a lot what we do!!
- Cuba11 -
C is like an obsidian razor. Extremely sharp tool, immense power with immense responsibility. You can make art and you can make bloody mess.
Clojure is like a magic rainbow mist. You accept it and it's pure chrysalis, everything is good, everything is fine. You feel cared about, you feel like nothing can hurt you.
Bash is like feeling your stepdad's finger inside your asshole. Shame and shame again combined with extreme perception of wrongdoing that lead to nothing but psychological trauma.1 -
For me the best of being a dev was described by Fred Brooks in his "The Mythical Man-Month":
...The programmer, like the poet, works only slightly removed from pure thought-stuff. He builds his castles in the air, from air, creating by exertion of the imagination. Few media of creation are so flexible, so easy to polish and rework, so readily capable of realizing grand conceptual structures....
Yet the program construct, unlike the poet's words, is real in the sense that it moves and works, producing visible outputs separate from the construct itself. […] The magic of myth and legend has come true in our time. One types the correct incantation on a keyboard, and a display screen comes to life, showing things that never were nor could be...
https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/...1 -
As a guy who really just started his web development life I just say the most fun I have is clicking the refresh button ( or npm does it for me ) and seeing my magic work, unless it doesn't and then I press again , maybe this time it will ..2
-
Running code in a JVM ... which is a virtual machine...
Inside a VM that runs Linux...
Inside a host OS that runs on native...which runs on a CISC processor... that internally runs a RISC architecture... so that makes the CISC a VM...
The RISC architecture I am pretty sure runs on Elf Magic... I am fairly certain Turing was an Elf working for Santa...
So I am really running my code on VM Elf Magic9 -
idk if I´m getting better in coding or Android Studio is using some "black magic" but after working on a project for like 2 hours it compiled without any error.
2 -
When you realize that there's no "magic" and no "only really smart specialists can understand this" in computers, software and hardware.
Everything is clearly defined in protocols/RFCs. The "magic" part is nothing more than extremely tedious, annoying and boring work combining those protocols together, making them talk to each other, and layering them inside each other.
Understand the little parts and you'll understand how the big ones work.4 -
3 hours...
3 damn hours for 200 lines of bash code.
Exorcism, Magic I don't care.... But please make a special person never touching bash programming again.
I ripped my hairs out. Really.
Till I realized someone wrote functions with _logical_ return true codes as numbers.
0 - as logical false, for failure
1 - as logical true, for success
Leading my brain into a severe segfault fun.
Why... Oh why.
Second fun part as I corrected that...
Someone wasn't fond of exit codes at all.
Script is now 86 % rewritten....
God damn it, if you don't like a languages fine.
But inverting core logic should give a free trip to the electrical chair.1 -
Seems like "Google Magic" and I have a disagreement (nb: this is the 4th of Snyk auto-follow up mails and I have no idea why they speak to me in French)
1 -
Kotlin support on Android:
i never liked Java, not because of the language but for the usual bad design implementations and Android is one of those.
Then Kotlin arrived, it looked very promising but it's when i looked at Coroutines that it simply blew my mind:
you just have to write your code and the Kotlin's compliler "magic" will do most of the boring/complex stuff for you and it's even great performance wise!
I even refactored inter-process calls to simple sync functions with few like of code and for a non-android developer like me it's just love at first sight!
3 -
I am a person who never lies. And when I see/hear others lie, be it for the benefit of mine or not, it gets my blood boiling. I disrespect liers with passion.
And I particularly hate magic fixes at work. You know the ones, when smth is not working for a few weeks, you involve 3 other teams responsible for their tiers, and then one day suddenly everything starts working. When you ask all the 3 tiers what has been done - everyone says "nothing".
If you do this bullshit to me, just know that everytime I remember you, before remembering your name/face/role I very vividly visualize pissing on your toothbrush right before you wake up.
Or did I do that for real..? Idk, it's too vivid to distinguish2 -
People caught using emojis in code should be driven into the sea.
Otherwise one day its gonna just be straight magic, without reason or understanding.
You're gonna type a bunch of moon runes into a glowing floaty interface, pour the blood of a chicken into a collector tray (totally not a pentagram) and "shit just happens" (tm).
And "scholars" (neckbeards) will spend all their time shape-in-wrong-hole idiocracy-style button mashing their mystical ouija board IDEs in the grim dark future, looking for combinations that do something useful.
Every time it glows red? Compile error.
Every time it glows green? Christmas is near, congrats it compiled.
Every time it sets off a mystical air siren (henceforth known as "fusrohdah"), runtime error. And probably explosions.
In the grim dark future of Apple 40k. A.D, there is only war, warp demons, and pending VSCode updates.11 -
Mentors, take note. This is a best practice over here.
I've spent two days digging through obscure documentation trying to accomplish one of those tasks that is simple in word and complex in deed. Namely, I wanted to concatenate (not delete) near-duplicate values in Pandas before rendering the data into a graph. Two days beating my head against the wall.
One of my mentors (I'm an intern) heard about the issue, wrote in the proper line (a very specifically and archaically formatted command), and pushed it to repo without even asking for thanks. Works like a charm and he saved my rear end. What a guy.
Please, mentors, don't leave your interns hanging on problems where the only solution is shrouded in dubious documentation and magic syntax. Especially when there's a deadline involved. Let them struggle on logic flow and writing good code.
Be like this guy. You'll build the importance of teamwork and your intern will think you're a wizard.2 -
HR people on LinkedIn. What the fuck? Do you seriously believe you can attract qualified developers by telling them you’re looking for ninjas, jedis or life savers? I for one am still fairly new to the job so I don’t consider myself to be by any means a coding wizard, and I don’t think any strong senior developer is gonna be seduced by your catchy terminology (I may be wrong about that). Come on, talk to us like any recruiter would in any other line of business. No need to replace the words "qualified" or "experienced" with your stupid magic words, unless you want to sound like you’re desperate7
-
That moment when you decide to look why Vim's regex rules are a bit inconsistent and find out this program has a setting called "very magic".
Today is a good day.4 -
My Unicorns 🦄.
If you look at the picture you will see more than one and there is a funny story behind them. About three years ago I was talking about a new project and I wanted to call it the Magic API, however I work for a religious organization and they said that it would be a problem to call it that. So I said what the hell how about unicorn? They said that would probably be okay. Then I saw that Microsoft had unicorn tags for their developers so it has been my thing ever since then.
So Unicorns it is. 🦄
4 -
Python is a fucking joke. "Readability" disguised as 150+ magic methods and values. Virtual environments to hide shitty dependency management. Strings that may or may not act as comments. No correlation between package and module names - install Pillow; import PIL. **kwargs instead of options=dict(), because why separate function arguments from arbitrary extra data? And finally, the only way to have tkinter on Windows is to install IDLE, so that some fucktard can stick their shitty app right up yours ...7
-
There is something so comfy about Java that I never get from other languages.
I don't know why but I genuinely enjoy writing 200 lines of boilerplate code. Maybe it makes me feel I am in control and not some syntactic magic like in Python or Javascript.
People keep ranting on java, yet it lives on.2 -
!Rant
Hello devRant!!
Just released a small little app to share links to your PC directly from your device (Linker).
It uses a Java server running on your PC so there are no middle-men. Everything is open source and on my GitHub.
It's currently in alpha. Basically:
1. Run server on your PC (no UI ATM so run in a console) - defaults: 0.0.0.0:8090
2. Add the server IP-Port in the Android app
3. Share a link from any app through linker
4. Magic 😎
Below are the links if anyone likes the idea and wants to try it out (UI is crap I know! - I had very little time to work on it)
Become tester:
https://play.google.com/apps/...
App:
https://play.google.com/store/apps/...15 -
So the group announced a merge of several systems into my platform. Growing it from 5000 sites to 75000. Lead time of a year, time enough to build it properly, finish the split of the current monolith into microservices, make it fast.
Suddenly, they reduced the time to three months, no explanation given. Solution is to keep the current PHP shit pile, but "scale" it using magic hardware or something. Oh and add 258 features, including things like "intuitive navigation" and "progressive web app" which some junior PM wannabe got off wikipedia or something.
And my boss has bent over to these morons and basically said yes, instead of informing them that this is a fool's errand.
Fuck em. I've said that they're nuts, and if they force the issue, I will resign. And my team probably will too.
But first I will take an inconveniently timed holiday.2 -
I got my dirty fingers on this leak of an AMAZING ML model capable of pondering EVERY PARAMETER IN THE UNIVERSE and saying if your business idea needs improvement or is good to go.
BEHOLD THIS 100% PURE PYTHON SOLUTION:
```python
import random
def magic(*args, **kwargs):
if random.random() > 0.5:
return "Good to go!"
else:
return "Requires improvement on value proposition"
```
This LEAK is from a startup that just received 4 BILLION USD IN VENTURE CAPITAL to improve their AI SYSTEMS.
Literally enough money to solve world hunger forever.
Who else is gonna invest in NEW THERANOS ADVANCED A.I. RESEARCH INTERNATIONAL INC?8 -
PM asked me to make the code deeper, here's the new load script:
//Someone is born (init script and load deps, also run it)
$life = new begin_life();
//magic happens (generate random token)
$life->Living = openssl_random_pseudo_bytes(rand(), TRUE);
//We end it all
$life->die();3 -
My parents think everything i do on the computer is magic. Theyre too scared to toich any of my stuff because I convinced them it records live video and biometrics to my phone.
Sometimes life is good -
When you are the only web developer of the company... You do front, backend for the website, web development jobs which come every time for stopping you to work on the 3 websites that you have to build. Every sites and database are different that's something that my boss don't understand I cannot include stuff just like that with my magic power because i have already done it. And of course the two designers of the company have the time to spend an hour for a colour. Well a week to build a 15 custom pages website with something which is close to the CRM for the back is not enough. Not enough when you also have to spent 2 hours each day on management stuff because there is 20 hosted website and the clients need support... Stressed and pissed off.2
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Program failed to load with an error message.
Tried resolving, failed.
Searched the internet, Stack overflow failed.
Tried 4-5 solutions, failed.
Disappointments!
Tired of my life, restarted the PC. Program opened perfectly and worked smoothly.
Programmer's mantra:
Everything is fine at the end because "restart" is the real magic! -
Am I the only one who enjoys learning low languages like C/C++ and absolutely hate Java (seriously FUCK Java so much I hate using it)
Working with pointers and just having the compiler completely explode in your face because you forgot a semicolon or an index out of bounds maybe a bracket just disappeared and you are frustrated but then you fix it and voila it works like magic.
Maybe it's just a thing of mine because C++ was the first programming language I learned and I miss this feeling of hopelessness (I think I might have done BDSM fetishes) and it makes me feel nostalgic.
When I was first learning them all I thought about was how cool this stuff is.19 -
Today while cleaning windows, came up to my mind how I miss when developers not only knew what is but also how to implement ajax requests properly....
Nowadays a framework with 10 composer packages will do the trick, and looks like black magic to juniors
3 -
Anyone who says/thinks software development is just piece of cake and these IT guys have magic wands should be quarantined for the rest of their lives. :-/6
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Damn bro Vue 3 sucks actually. It's just a big function now with arguments like "`this` can be sometimes confusing when TypeScript is used." - hell no, my component was a class and this was the fucking class. nothing was confusing about this.
It's all a clusterfuck of magic now, I don't see why writing `ref(5)` or `return { all of your shit }` after `setup() { complete business logic inclusive functions here }` is better.
I was so looking forward to all the improvments, but why do we need these 3 apis with actually no difference, tried to be explained by the same image of colorful blocks in every single fucking article?
what happened to methods? am i seriously supposed to return them from a function? that just feels wrong.22 -
On your standard epitome of being a geek, I started to show my coworkers how to play Cardfight Vanguard, a TCG since we all love TCG's (we play Magic, Pokemon and a few others) and we had made Friday our official "TCG or Board Game" day.
List of games we have played:
Star Wars CCG (dear lord this game is BEAUTIFUL shame it is no longer being published)
Magic the Gathering, we have a love hate relationship with this game, mana plays a big reason as to why we do not fully love it, it sucks getting stuck with no possibility of drawing proper mana.
Pokemon - Easy to get into, easy to play, there is nt much more to say, by far, our favorite in terms of how much money we can make out of selling rare cards that we do not use.
Dice Masters - My Personal favorite, and I am also the undisputed champion of our group
Cardfight Vanguard is my current favorite, very tactical in a lot of ways, luck of the draw hits in a funny way, I feel it is properly balanced, not much bullshit ass rules or mana issues. Reminds me of Duel Masters, I used to LOVE that Game, but Wizards of the Coast and the anime fucked it up so well....
Anyone here likes playing card games?4 -
I wrote an auth today.
Without frameworks. Without dependencies. Without under-the-hood magic. Without abstract pluggable adaptor modules for the third-party auth library with 63 vulnerabilities and 1252 GitHub issues. Without security vulnerabilities showing up in NPM log. Without dependency of a dependency of a dependency using md5 and Math.random() under the hood for historical reasons, and now we're fucked, because this is the only lib for our framework, and we have no time to write our own replacement. Without all that shit.
Rock-solid, on top of scrypt. Stateless and efficient.
It felt amazing.9 -
Why is web development such a headache?
I'm writing a responsive wesbite from scratch. All goes perfect, even cross browser.
It all works, adapts to screen size etc. Nice! About to get this code into production.
Me: I'll test the iPhone 5 viewport size before I push the code...
Responsive Developer Tools:
FireFox: nu uh, there's a magic random 1px margin to every element on your page now, which you cannot find in your css or in the computed tab. It's magical.
Me: weird, what if I change the viewport size to the iPhone 6's dimensions?
Issue persists.
Me: hmm, what if I add or substract one fucking pixel from the viewport width or height?
FireFox: What 1px margin? Don't know what you're talking about ... There never was one...
Me: ok, weird (sets viewport size back to the iPhone 5 format for testing)
FireFox: I present to you: the magic random 1px margin.
I'm at a loss. I really am. Been clicking and unclicking almost every responsive part of my css I could find for this page and it just doesn't want to work persistently. And I swear to god that it worked a week ago in that exact viewport size. It's so frustrating.
32 -
What do you guys do to get away from conputers? I, for one started practicing card magic and i say it's really helped me. Card magic and programming are 2 polar opposites. For card magic, social inter action is necessary while programming gets pretty lonely. Anyways, i'm really curious about your other hobbyes33
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Anyone who left their workstation unlocked and unattended would come back to find their background replaced with My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic.14
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Someone posted this to our shared channel. I'm so tired of people thinking that developers "just need to push a few buttons".
Am I crazy for believing that all I can accomplish in 4 hours is read their documentation (or there lack of), and maybe write few tests for the slew of things they'll be asking for??? And maybe, just maybe, get my local environment running.
Why does everyone think that developers know the location of the "magic button"???
3 -
It is not on production anymore, but it was for long enough. Someone thought it would be a great idea to be able to debug a web app while signed in as a user reporting a problem. How to do it? It's easy. Just check on every request if magic HTTP parameter SIGN_IN_AS=id is present and if it is, sign in as this user. Of course, it worked also with admin account with hard-to-guess id=1.1
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There is a constructed language called Tokipona. It was made to be the easiest language, and it only contains like 137 words or so.
This language is a perfect demonstration of “expressivity”. Tokipona is not very expressive. Before you know it, your sentence is obscenely long, and you didn't even convey the full meaning of what you wanted to say.
It's also the case with “easy” programming languages and frameworks. Code quantities rise exponentially, and the more code you have, the more bugs there are. There is no magic. And then you have to debug it. Not so easy, huh?
10 -
New team, same discussions...
* Why should we use cmake? It is way better to add visual studio project files to the repository and allow everyone to mess around in the compiler setting dialogs. Nobody needs cmake if not targeting multiple platforms!
* clang-format? What kind of black magic is this? It is way better to manually try to stick with each source file's existing formatting - regardless of how messed up it is - and manually check that from time to time!
* Why should we use the latest visual studio 2019 compiler, if 2017 and 2015 do just fine? This way we can save license fees!
/irony off
Just to mention a few highlights...13 -
Overhauling a C++ project into C#. There is a lot of IntPtr logic being thrown around. In related news, I have the song "Do you believe in magic?" Stuck in my head.1
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When it comes to the idea of programming and magic, or the comparison between software developers/engineers, computer scientists etc as magicians or wizards, nothing brings the idea much more close to hearth than the C programming language.
A while ago I read the R.A Salvatore books concerning Drizzt, the dark elf. I loved the books, have not continued reading them but I remember them vividly. There was one book in which a human magician came about wielding extremely explosive magic, humans were capable of channeling large amounts of it through explosive and unwieldly ends.
This is the same feeling I get from C
Consider:
int items[] = {1, 2, 3};
printf("Third : %i\n", 3[items]);
and fuck me if shit like the above is not dangerous, it makes sense, arrays have the first items of it server as the pointer address to a first element, doing the above operation returns the third element of the array of 3. But holy shit if I don't think this is dangerous and interesting as fuck
there are many more examples I have that I am finding through me fucking around with: language development (compiler, interpreter), kernel programming as well as net sec. C is the most powerful and devastating thing we have in our hands indeed.7 -
So working on the cutting edge of 3d scanning (think project tango) i feel like my boss and his client are trying to sell a sham.
The technology is amazing but very limited. They are trying to sell magic. The PoC barrely works properly by their standards, and the one they are trying to sell to saw a fluke in behaviour that made it appear as if the PoC worked like how they are trying to sell it.
I hear them brooding over this plan to just sell that without any real plans to make this project work. There is no way they can make it work eithout compromises.
I do not want to be part of this ._.2 -
Man I currently have a burning hot passionate desire for physics. It actually gets me so damn excited. I mean it is basically damn magic ya know. But then I have a passionate desire for programming and that gets me excited. And then I have a burning desire for Math and that gets me excited as well. But I don't know what to push my life towards because I want to focus more on my ultimate goal. It's like having to choose between 3 amazing girls(not that I would know how that feels)4
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typeof rant === "Encouragement"
Never let your self down, try to be your own const in life that know his scope and traits well enough to construct a peacefull life without any uncatched exceptions. Also try to return something to the public, keeping your magic pointers to your private makes it hard to review your glorious source of thoughts. And if it is getting hard try to REST a bit and git some timeout.
😉1 -
1. Putting bits in proper places is fun
2. It's cool to translate curiosity and caffeine into money
3. Coding is modern-day magic in many ways -
Good code is like a good video game. When you read it first time, it feels like magic, and you feel like it does more than it actually can.2
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I've been working on an Emscripten emulation layer for a fledgling startup, and it's just a huge bitch. Seriously, Emscripten is the worst designed project I've ever seen. It embeds constants into a js file that it spits out. It turns out you can't fucking run the wasm that Emscripten emits without these magic constants from the js file.
Additionally, all the wasm imports that emscripten specifies are weirdly cased, with apparently no naming convention. They also use some weird, shitty vararg implementation when it already fucking knows exactly how many arguments are going to get passed to an import.
Also, there are a ton of broken things left over from when emscripten compiled to asm.js that they never bothered to replace with features from wasm. God knows how it even works.
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I’m convinced that CSS is black magic and those that can visualize what it’s going to do before changing code are witches/warlocks.
Usually my attempts end up in humor as the website ends up /comically/ broken. Elements shifted around to not anywhere near they belong, drop downs appearing from completely nonsensical places...
No idea how you all do it.2 -
FUCK YOU TECH LEAD! Our manager explained what he wanted 4 MONTHS AGO! You said we could do it! We can do it! You suddenly changed your mind, instead of asking me WHO IS WORKING ON THE PARTS REQUIRED TO DO THE MAGIC! MAYBE I WOULD KNOW IF IT IS POSSIBLE OR NOT??? MAYBE??? NOW I HAVE TO GO FIGHT YOU, YOUR EGO WILL SAY YOU ARE RIGHT, YOU WONT BACK DOWN, AND WE WILL SCREAM AT EACH OTHER! FUCK, RUINING MY 4 DAY WEEKEND RELAXATION! AND IN FRONT OF THE BOSS!!! FUCK
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Yesterday, my team had a react crash-course workshop.
It was like "you have to import a couple of libs, use 'em in different react elements you pull up and Tadaaaa! Magic is happening and your app works".
This workshop was the pinnacle of "intense".
I understood 60% of the stuff.
My team-mates about 15%.
So react is the front-end technology of choice after our architectural-team. The other teams have to use this the technology for their UIs.
This will be a lot of fun ^^1 -
Starting up the new Java project I'm assigned to.
Just to see that this project is made of pure black magic and tears of forsaken devs.
Crashing the jvm with segfaults on a regular basis is just one part of the magic.
Now I understand why no one volunteered for this project...2 -
I hate people ranting about “Uhh thats not responsive I sent a screen how I imagined it.“
Open Screen, 1918x703 px WIDE.
Explained for an hour that thats not fucking responsive. Nobody could see or read that even if I were to implement. Responsive fucking means text breaks BELOW the damn pictures to make it readable. I will never fit that on an iphone or something unless he pays extra so i can perform dark magic to force vertical view on some devices and put 100 alert functions that the device is not supported by the site.
Im so mad fuck him and fuck me1 -
OMFG, Dell, why can't you be normal and make your batteries die like any other batteries - by simply switching the laptop off immediately when the charger is unplugged???
Guess what it looks like when a JD25G (XPS13 9530) battery is dying (still 88% health)!
Constant screen flickering (yes, even in BIOS). Good thing I'm not an epileptic - my screen is fucking strobing!!!
I know it's a battery, because I had the same issue some years ago when I replaced the died original one with a cheapo made by GreenCell. Boi that was fun - I saw my laptop do miraculous things I never would've thought of! Screen flickering was one of them. As soon as I replaced that turd with an original one all these magic powers went away.14 -
Aunt asked me to repair her phone because "nothing is working". She said she tried every phone repairer in the town. She blames the phone, the phone manufacturer and everyone else.
She finally admitted the phone fell into water and she didn't tell it to the repairers. Then she wonders why they can't do magic.
"But aren't the front camera and the rear camera the same camera?"
Wat? -
Recently bought an Adafruit Industries board which controls stepper motors over i2c. It has a Phython library, but my code is in C++. Decided to convert the Python code to C++ to get started quickly. Behold the magic line that made everything work:
std::this_thread::sleep_for(std::chrono::milliseconds(10));
I can't believe Python's ridiculous performance is being harnessed to let the field generated by electromagnets in a stepper motor to grow to sufficient proportions to affect movement. Without the said sleep(), the stepper motor just vibrates with my C++ code. Not sure if the library was created with Python's performance in mind, or they simply didn't think about back EMF in electromagnets...5 -
Life is good when you're responsible only for your task, code you write.
While i had souch a beautiful life, I could come to wrk, make coffe, magic and be happy. Sometimes it would be fast, sometimes slow. Sometimes I had to learn before implementing, sometimes I just needed to code it down. I had working hours. I had only TL and client to deal with.
If you dislike working with your collegues, imagine being responsible for their work and feel good.1 -
I think I'm getting to the point to where I'm burnt out at my job. Don't get me wrong, it's a great place to work. But it is very, VERY boring. And I'm starting to struggle to even pay attention anymore. I know it's important but I'm struggling to care. How am I supposed to do good work when I can barely even focus? Good code is not magic! I can't be barely holding my eyes open and expected to be worth anything.
I'm also still technically a junior developer which I have some issues with >_>6 -
Apart of the fact that WordPress itself is one big hack, my most creative hacky solution was making it (dev) environment friendly.
First, I created a DB pull and push tool in NodeJS (on TypeScript). Then, because WP is so clever and stores internal URLs in full length in the DB, I had to create a DB migrator (find & replace) and attached it to the DB pull task.
After this, of course WP still has its config in one file, so I used composer to install phpdotenv and filled the config with environment variables.
Bundled with some good ol' Gitlab CI/CD magic, the website is now 10% sanely developable.
It feels like having to shovel piles of shit, but with a golden shovel. Everything stinks as hell but at least there is a tiny bling to it, temporarily.
But in all seriousness: WordPress is a god damn fucking pile of tumors!3 -
The longer I live, the longer I am unsure what the meaning of my life is.
TLDR; 42
Yes I am a creative person in a way that I can create something out of nothing, but unfortunately all my work is almost invisible. Is the meaning of a developer guy to be a magician? He does something and *wooosh*
//magic happens here
there is a thing which he forgot how it works within a month. Why can't I just talk about my work with other people than those from the IT business? I don't think to be that important, but sometimes it appears that without you and me nothing will really work nowadays.
And to be honest with you guys, I am too slow. I can adapt new concepts and new programming languages, but I feel like getting overruned by all that new stuff appearing each day. Am I supposed to be that super hero named"superbrain"? Is that still healthy?
wtf, my life is a miracle, an oracle and a hurricane (and some times it is even great)!
I am confused!1 -
Part of a little lecture I gave my boss this week: "... you really should stop taking things so casually and so for granted. ALL of this stuff is not just something you can summarize in a single vague word or phrase like "stuck" or "kick the tires" or whatnot. there's no "magic" to any of this. there's no buttons or knobs you just touch with one finger and stuff magically works. it's all way more complicated than you probably think, ALL the time. And making assumptions will always get us in trouble." (To a tech-illiterate boss who always uses vague verbage like "stick this on the server" and has no idea how anything works.)2
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Finally got my wall up to my desk in whiteboard. 4' by 8' sheets cut to fit the whole wall with a 1/8" clearance at the top. Ignore the raspberry pi, I have to set it up this way because I have no USB network adapter or long enough Ethernet cable. There should have been a magic mirror where the box is but on that specific spot in the wall the studs are only 13 1/2" instead of 14" like they should be...
3 -
"Can't you just…" are the favorite words of my company's president. He uses them like a magic wand. When faced with a complex problem that will take thousands of development man hours, he utters the words, "Can't you just…" He believes that if he can over-simplify the problem, and summarize the necessary work into a sentence or two, it should only take a week or two to complete.
Of course, I then explain that what seems simple to him is actually very complex once you peel back the layers of the problem. I then explain the specifics until his eyes glaze over, and he cries uncle.
A couple weeks later, he has forgotten everything I said, and the Monday meeting begins with, "About that project. Can't you just…"2 -
I have been trying to wrap my head around authentication in hapi for the last 6 hours...
Fuck this shit... when did simple,
I HAS A USERNAME
I HAS A PASSWORD
CAN HAS SESSION?
become:
- you magically get a token from somewhere
- you magically verify that token
- you respond with { credentials } //magic
- by some fucking black magic the server probably creates a session without you knowing about it...
- you freak out and write your own authentication scheme only to find out that you cannot read payload of POST requests in the authenticate method
- you get angrier and depressed and write a rant
(to be clear: there is @hapi/basic but I don't think sending a GET request with the URL looking like username:password@domain.tld is very safe...)11 -
Year 2023
phone charges from 10 to 100% in <30min
battery holds for 3-4 days
... I still can't believe it.
What kind of black magic is this...23 -
0) Because it's kind of Magic.
1) Love solving complex/small problem using this magic.
2) It's frustrating as well as exciting when magic is not working.
So yea it's kinda magical and doesn't matter which language you do magic in. -
During an interview, how to detect if a company has a dysfunctional flow of development? What good questions to ask?
Like things are scattered all over and there's no standard being followed, no architecture, no code reviews, everything is a patchy magic, no testing, and everything is just on fire! How to avoid such companies?6 -
After a year in cloud I decided to start a master's degree in AI and Robotics. Happy as fuck.
Yet I got really disappointed by ML and NNs. It's like I got told the magician's trick and now the magic is ruined.
Still interesting though.7 -
a "landing page", that was just any and all features of the application forced into one huge, unbearably slow, indeniably confusing page.
which took months of work. which i said beforehand "nobody will use it". which now, through the magic of user tracking, is proven to be used by nobody.2 -
If I was to talk about software, the act of coding is probably the most boring part. But birthing a program can pull from magic, animation, circus, gardening, parenting, woodwork, and a host of arts, trades, and crafts. It is a wonderful creative task that is being sold short by brilliant jerks, one trick fools, and con men.2
-
At work I am "the" programmer and is the first time in which I actually enjoy showing different solutions to problems without having a fear of implementing large things without having any form of recognition.
Seeing someone get happy because of something you created is a great feeling and even tho most of us are misantrophic af we can still appreciate bringing happiness through code.
To me, software engineering is the closest thing to magic and I really believe that.
Two days ago I showed my manager a little utility to build small portions of the site we are building and make changes to it in real time without browser refreshes for whatever change she would like to do. She was super happy and excited and it made me feel real happy.
Such great feeling man. Nothing but good vibes brother!! -
My cousin was studying computer science, and he was telling me about the coding and the programming stiff, I got inpired by him and I since then I wanted to be a dev, especially when you can make some thing from nothing, unlike other jobs you have to get tools a parts and start to attach them together in order to make a product, while programming all you need is your laptop and couple of softwares and you can make as products as you want.
It is MAGIC2 -
"Non-technical" users must have some magic skill that goes beyond my understanding. How can anyone work with no-code page builders? I tried Wix, Webflow, Gutenberg, Elementor, Divi, and Semplice. Each one sucks in their way, but they have one thing in common: their UI behaves even more erratically than Microsoft Word.
Is there a "non-technical personal computer user" class where people learn that logic? How did they manage to hide their secret understanding from developers? Or what did I miss?10 -
CSS! after days thinking about this and using chrome dev tools to find the magic numbers ( thank arrow keys) i finally made this thing responsive. The magic is in 53px. Thanks to javascript i also did what seemed almost impossible for me in CSS. Phew!!!
2 -
When you use an Android app on daily basis, upgrades every time when you can, then you remove and reinstall it and get a very different UI and feature set. What kind of black magic is this?
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First patch for buildroot submitted and added applied to master!! 😁
I had the impression that git (like, more than "git add ." was just too complicated and that making patches was some sort of dark magic using some obscure unix tools.
Well, it turns out that is actually pretty easy, fun and exhilarating!!
Looking forward to build up until I'm making contributions to the kernel! 🤓 -
I'm not even done with this code and I am already dreading maintaining it. There is so much magic.1
-
See if one more fucker turns to me and suggests I start a company to “Help with the smart border after Brexit” I swear to fuck I going to personally go to 10 Downing Street and stand in the cabinet and shout “Technology is not literal magic” until Boris Johnson finally gets it5
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Starting off, I believed that the "sudo" is some magic God that can fix all my problems with Linux.
Imagine that!11 -
Working on something...
-Hun?! Why the hell doesn't it work?
Attempt a few fixes...
-Still doesn't work? Damn what am i doing wrong?
Attempt other changes...
-Why is it still not working!?
Debug step by step, validate my values are fine...
-Why does my output not correspond to my values!?! What the hell is this black magic!?
Rebuild the same solution for the 5th time...
-...Why does it work now... -
just read this article (german),
https://trendingtopics.at/wearedeve...
in the interview section, there was the magic sentence
"developers hate recruiters"
it is argued that they do not speak the same language, nor do they have the same background(recruiters are mostly HR or marketing people)
i hate those recruites, who are not even able to write my firstname correctly, when trying to contact me
any other reasons to hate them?3 -
In my office I've made a habit of changing the desktop background of anyone who leaves thier workstation unlocked to My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic to encourage good data security.
It's working.6 -
“Everyone is busy building stuff for right now, today, rarely for tomorrow. But it would be nice to also have stuff that lasts a little longer than that.... You don’t have to be a genius to write fast programs. There’s no magic trick. The only thing required is not building on top of a huge pile of crap that modern toolchain is.”
—Nikita Prokopov, “Software disenchantment”, retrieved from http://tonsky.me/blog/...5 -
Am I more active because I am feeling good, or is it because it's too hot here? 🤔
Anywho, giant NN classifier, come at me!
PS. I think it's gonna be a a major failure, but YOLO. 😜1 -
There's two types of people in this world, those who don't like regex, and magical otherworldly beings, luckily for me, I'm the latter
-
How hard can it be to refactor this 170 lines file?
- a single “data” variable used to store everything
- arrays inside arrays inside arrays (see prev point)
- operations with a lot of obscure sideEffects
- $data[] = something (which in magic php land means $data.enqueue()
Why is such… biological matter… even allowed to code? Fucker’s pretending they are a senior for four years: how in hell didn’t they learn to code in this timeframe?7 -
I swear that Netlify CMS is straight up magic. Finally something that is simple and unopinionated and just works out of the box. After understanding how it works I just plugged it into a hardcoded project and the hardest part was just copy-pasting the content.2
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Argh!!!! I'm too dumb to compare two spreadsheets. I want to know which of the 2000 employees left or joined the company since last year. But the employee spreadsheet db export is not in the same order as the last years. Is there any bash shell magic or something else than excel that could help me?12
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Hi people first as you know my English is not very poor im sorry for that.
I try to make an automat a sprinkle water and a auto light on a interior garden in aquarium.
For that in python i use main thread, a class Water.py extends Threading and Light.py extends Threading
In the __init__.py file i put my main function that get argv for execution. One of my arguments is -v (--verbose)
I want to pass that args to my class instances.
-I don't want to make one parameter in my constructors because I think we don't passe verbose mode in parameter of constructor.
-I use global not working through de import.
Do you have some magic for me :/ ?6 -
I like to say programming is the art of "creative logic". Much like architecture has an aesthetic to consider or cooking has well-defined procedures with greatly varying inputs and outputs, there has to be room for creativity, be it at the planning stage or during wild improvisation sessions.
Without that creative aspect, software development sounds dreary to me.
Where science meets art is where the magic happens.
If only the artists shared this view and actually took an interest in the technical side...1 -
Why is vectorization library faster than hand-written for loops ? I mean, somewhere down the line, the matrices/vectors must be multiplied (or any other operation) and thus be one-by-one (for loop??) calculated and stored.
Why is it then faster to use these libraries than just manually writing for loops all over the place ?
I guess some low level magic (OpenBLAS ?) goes on there but I just don't see it..
P.S. [Would have posted it on stack overflow but I'd be ripped apart so I'm pioneering new ways]11 -
Just read a rant about webpack and suddenly the hate boiled up again ...
Why is it just so damn annoying to configure?
Just make it like gulp or so where you have an actual idea on the workflow, rather than just throwing in plugins at random and let magic happen without knowing wtf is going on.
Tried to update an ejected Angular4 project to angular 5 ... after 2h i gave up and dropped some stuff to use angular-cli again.3 -
(Yes, another one of these)
Can someone please explain why android studio (including emulator, but still) plus a couple of firefox tabs and windows 10 occupy the ~8.7GB of RAM that are 74% of the 12 gigs I have? Especially since summing up the ram in use by applications according to task manager makes it look like only 3gb. Is Android Studio using some dark magic to conceal its RAM usage? What the hell!
2 -
You know that you've just gained few levels when you found out about magic in vim.
:help magic
Also term "very magic" is superb. -
Got accepted as a part-time FE developer in a well-known company.
Reality check: all I do is maintain a horribly formatted spaghetti code (20k+ lines in a file) using ancient tech like PL/SQL, prototypeJS and IE11.
Buy hey, at least I know some SQL magic now.. Right?!7 -
This internal api is killing me. Why the fuck do people return an array of numbers inside a field that has a generic name such as `icons` to convey information such as "hasOptionFooIncluded". Because of course then icons contains '6'. Yet if both 6 and 4 are in there, it means something else. Needless to say there is no documentation whatsoever what each number or group of numbers actually means so I have to ask around to find out what numbers means what in order to wrap that call away into something maintainable. Because the API is deprecated and we don't want to fix shit in there. We just create other shit depending on this crappile. :/
Stop using magic numbers. Just stawp it! -
Dude GoogleAuth is pure nonsense magic. On one line you get your auth-instance from gapi.auth2.init..
But then you render the auth-button with a static method aka gapi.signin2.render (which has some kind of success and error handlers, but don't worry, they fire randomly, they won't help you debug this api mess)
SOME-FUCKING-HOW this static signin2.rendershit knows of your auth2 instance and it works. But actually it makes no sense and is just a big mess of api-calls. Google, get your shit together, this ain't pretty.
Oh and forget your informative console.log.. this shit will get erased everytime you try something because of "Navigated to https://accounts.google.com/o/...". why ever the fuck this clears the console even tho it doesn't affect the top window. So preserve that fucking log and drown in a mass of bullshit.
In the end, as it is with everything, it somehow works. But FFS that's some weird api design Google has going on..4 -
So there was a time when I "knew" PHP but I've never been able to use it, correctly or not. I knew I had to know a framework to get more accepted in the work market place, so I went on Codecademy, and started to learn a shit ton of stuff that I knew but I now master way more than before. Until I fall on a Ruby on Rails tutorial. Then another. Then a login / register system.
Dude. It was so simple. I had the feeling that my magic wand found me, and that I was developing just by speaking English (well it was the basics)
Today RoR is still my favourite framework, I just wish I could be paid to work with it 😍 -
Friday wisdom.
Software is not written. It is rewritten.
After spending 3 days approx. On thinking over a design problem. The first 2 days I was clueless how the problem is going ahead. Today I deleted all classes started again and voila.!! It works like magic and I did it with a TDD approach so got good test coverages too.
P.S. I didn't come up with that line. I got it from a tech talk and now understood it's meaning.3 -
Indigogo is to retail what ICOs are to he financial industry.
- some random people think of an idea (ICO = token, IGO = magical dick cream)
- they both rely on well made but completely horse-shit marketing material
- they both spam your sites with the same repetitive ads
- they both offer discounts for getting in early (aka give us money before we have designed or built anything)
- they both make outlandish and sometimes illegal product claims (ICO = Visa is a partner, IGO = magic dick cream does magic things)
- in the end most of both options ends up giving you nothing at all and just running away with your money
- best case scenario they both deliver a product that is utterly worthless and meaningless
- everyone is hunting for that one coin or product that is a not a total scam.
I don’t hate indigogo but they certainly are shady as fuck. I’ve rolled the dice on then 4 times and got scammed on 2 of them. It’s basically a crap shoot.1 -
I fucking hate web development and fuckton of issues it has. Laravel library not found despite the files exists and composer loaded it in the autoloader, fix: create a config file for the lib, why? Because magic. The code cannot find the provider class without it....
Next, try out smtp mail. Works everywhere, but not with the live smtp server. Fails with Invalid recipients error. 2 hours later, with half of my hair torn out I finally figured out. Can you guess?
Credentials and settings are correct, recipients are also correct. The fucking from address parameter was the culprit because you cannot send emails on behalf another address, logical but fuck that error message. Why is it that hard to respond with an understandable response?2 -
This is !dev as fuck but does anyone know something like a book recommendation engine? There are a ton for movies and anime, but couldnt find a good one for books. The best would be one where i input some books and fonds me similar ones.
Alternatively, im looking for dark fantasy books where magic is negligible and potentially has assassins in it, if anyone knows good ones.10 -
The development life cycle when taking over a project is much like that of a slightly retarded wizards first steps into utilizing the powers of the dark forces.
CONFUSION => CLARITY => FAILURE => CONFUSION => CONFUSION => BROKEN KEYBOARD => CONFUSION => UNKNOWN MAGIC => SUCCESS => CONFUSION => BORED OF THIS IT FUCKING WORKS => PUSH => SHUTDOWN -
Storytime.
The Prometheus Tales - Part V
This week I found some time to reinstall the Titan on Ubuntu 20.04.
And the fucker finally can reach all targets in our environment.
Targets don't spawn via active puppet run on the Titan anymore, but via bash/puppetdb magic, which is nice.
Progress!
Let's see how the storage behaves.. -
Reading Magic of Stella kind of makes me want to make a visual novel game. Anyone know an artist, a musician, and a project manager? Possibly a writer if I can't write the damn thing myself, which is likely considering my ADD when it comes to writing and holy shit where are my shoes?
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I am currently in the works of designing, building and extending an CRM/MRP system for production lines.
But for some reason I cant seem to find ANY modern sources, papers, books, forums, threads for context on this topic. It’s as if this topic doesn’t exist.
(One thing to point out is that there are sources for business wise analytics but am looking design wise)
I am starting to think that i am not googling it correctly (what a boomer).
Do you have any magic sources, captains of devrant?10 -
Fighting a CDI dependency injection problem that makes no sense. The only thing that sucks about the magic of DI is troubleshooting it when it doesn't work.1
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"Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic." – Arthur C. Clarke
(especially to non-tech people)3 -
Fearful I have the onset of carpel tunnel! My wrist is killing me today . Any suggestions for exercises and braces that worked magic for others ?5
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Super curious: Ive broken my arch frequently. And then fix it and go on with my day. Or an update causes some weird package confliction because I used pip instead of pacman for one library or whatever.
But I keep hearing from different sources that "arch being super unstable is a myth. It never happens!" Okay surely not all the time, my system is usually pretty good but:
Do you people never `pacman -Syyu` ?
How have you not broken everything?! Or do you just pretend like the AUR (the best thing ever and also the source of most of my problems) doesn't exist? What black magic are you doing to appease the arch gods?8 -
When everything passed to the front end is in the form of a magic array... all values are grabbed using an arbitrary index...
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Python list and dictionary comprehension is some crazy awesome black magic. More languages should have these.5
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I know that DI(dependency injection) is probably just another good pattern out there like many others, but dear lord have I been burned on it with acumatica. Acumatica just loves having friggen magic crap everywhere with no damn explanation(*may be in a blog post somewhere but that’s no replacement for good documentation).
I believe they use AutoFac in C# on an asp.net server. They love to utilize reflection and injection and in turn the server takes multiple minutes to startup whilst it dynamically registers everything, as well on any individual pages.
Development is a pain in the ass on this damn system.
I’m constantly having to dive into the damn code using dotpeek to understand what the fuck they are doing and it’s often friggen stupid shit. They like to reinvent the wheel a fair bit.1 -
This is an example if stupid documentation.
//Just like magic
try {
....
WTF! THIS IS PROGRAMMING, NO FUCKING MAGIC OR MIRACLES HAPPENS.1 -
The old company I was working at, was absolutely treating their new employees as shit. Everything was handled by the old timers who "knew how the world worked" (to those, TDD was useless, because as proven by this company only, it was a waste of time).
Everything that the new employees or "young talent" came up with, had to be talked through in a senior group, without the young talent. Never got anywhere, their software was absolute garbage (yet worked by sheer magic!!!!)
Today I learned that a former coworked had hos LinkedIn account say "[company]: waste of time."
And before you say "No company you work for, is a waste of time, as a software dev." i say, working for this company made you a worse developer. By. The. Fucking. Day.1 -
!Rant Does anyone else find it sad that the more you know about coding ,the less it all feels like magic ? I remember times i often stumbled upon websites that felt so smart, as if they where magical. Now best i can say is that they are neatly programmed. But the magic disappeared once i understood the logic behind it all. Anyone else?3
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WTF?
Just found this code:
"It is assumed that all 'static final String'-Attributes of this class are a key in the property file (which is validated by reflection)."
SO REFACTORING YOUR FUCKING MAGIC NUMBERS WITH A MEANINGFUL CONSTANT MADE THE APP CRASH. ASSHOLE. -
The amazon music app.
I don't know what's more annoying. Is it the general shittiness of it, the way they've made trying to find anything into some kind of fucked up magic mushroom experience?
Or is it the fact that they've intentionally made it shit because their marketing knobheads think that'll make people buy subscriptions?
Or is it the fact that the marketing knobheads are probably right?
It actually makes economic sense for them to turn their app into a steaming, heaving pile of shit, because millions of people will buy a subscription in direct response to the shitness of the app.
Stop making me swim through shit, you motherless son-of-a-bitches, and I might actually buy stuff.
But that doesn't matter, because enough people will buy stuff *because* you're making them swim through shit.3 -
Any magic service creating resposive layouts from existing website? God I hate resposive css when there is no unified grid system across the design.2
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I need advice fellow developers, am I stubborn?
So I lost an argument in my team regarding constant vs variable directly in a method for stored procedure names.
I separated names of procedures into their own StoredProcedureConstants file because it makes it very easy to see all procedures used in a project and refactor their names if necessary. Argument against was that you loose time creating a constant. Am I silly if I am alergic to seeing quotation marks stuff without its designated purpose throughout the code?
Their way is adding var procedureName = "cc.storeProcedureName" directly in a method. I just can't find my peace with it. To me this is a magic string.
Am I being unreasonable?3 -
I feel like time is short.
Things about to get real.
Make sure essentials are stocked.
Stay away from DC.
Get right with whatever you believe in.
Help your neighbor.
I don't have a magic ball.
I don't know if things will be good or bad.
But change is upon on.
Ready or not.
I pray to God he forgives us.
I wish the hardest thing in life was writing code.
I wish the world I was taught about when I was young was the real world.
Maybe if things go well it could be.
Look up, pray, and realize you are not alone.
I shall not fear the dark of night,
nor the arrow that flies by day.
Cheers!2 -
fuck it, im giving my users permanent access tokens, because for some reason using refresh tokens is black magic to the internet -.-7
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I've just exported my flutter app using the magic codemagic and they sent me the versions, but the question is how can convert the .app format from the IOS version to .ipa cuz it's not working by directly rename it.
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All of my programming knowledge (more like 95% of it) have been gathered by myself. I've started learning during secondary school - the basics everyone has to go through. But it was so awesome that I wanted more. So I've started digging through vast space of internets and books only to find that I know very little. I've had help in the university and high school (the other 5%), but it wasn't enough.
The best thing is - the feeling has never worn off. And I still want more, because it feels like learning magic - the only difference is magic doesn't exist 😃 -
Family - "You might be a great coder, but if you dont have a degree, you wont get respect"
Overall, my brother and family are very supportive. only thing i dont like is their strong thrust to get me graduated and pass the exam, despite my negative interest in the course i am enrolled into.
I am into programming, not because of money, that is flowing around it, or the present day trend. Infact programming was not my field of interest, even though I was always interested in computers and machines. My first choice was to become a mechanical engineer. But i got enrolled into Electronic communication course.
Only after sophmore year, i started getting interest in programming.
Programming, to me is a very powerful tool. You can create what you want.
Programs, when works, Feels like magic -
FUCK. I'M DONE WITH THIS SHIT. CAN'T GET MY HEAD AROUND THIS.
My intelligence is limited to Java & Python.
NO VARIABLES, RETURN TYPES..NOTHING! JUST FUCKING MAGIC! AND ALSO, FUCK EMACS.
2 -
* coughing *
* singing mode on *
For the first time in deployment
There'll be magic, there'll be fun!
For the first time in production
I could notice there's an exception
And I know it is totally crazy
OK Bye -
That feeling when you are debugging and java keeps throwing exceptions everywhere for the whole day, and just when you are about to turn off the pc and are resigned to go home with a code full of bugs, decide to launch the program one last time and Everything compile and works properly 😍
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TIL following two lines are NOT the same in JS with webpack, even though logically they should be - it should be just an application of an eta reduction... First line works, second one crashes, probably because mysteriously executed too soon, before obj is initialized.
export const t = (...args) => obj.t(...args);
export const t = obj.t;
Sometimes I really hate JavaScript magic.2 -
The magic Apple Support:
A few days ago, I suddenly couldn't login to iCloud on my mac. I thought it was something that would be gone if I would try turning it back off and on again. Didn't work. Used the mac without bothering about it. I was too lazy to call the Apple Support and it didn't annoy me that much.
A day later, suddenly Spark (my email client) didnt work either, it asked me all the time to re-login into one of the accounts but "an authentication error occured". At that point I thought it was a problem with the keychain. Because i don't use email that often and the last time I should pay 30€ if I wanted to call Support (out of warranty), I just started using email on my phone.
Yesterday, MS Office (yes I use it and I like this Microsoft Product and I'm an Apple fanboy) wouldn't login either. I didn't call them.
Today, I had finally time to call them. They didn't want to charge me since I selected an Apple-Id Problem (and I think the Support Hotlines are free to call idk). The call from Ireland came 2 times and the connection didn't work (thanks iPhone). The third time, the moment the Support guy said Hello iCloud worked. A few second later Office and Spark worked again too. I don't know how these coincidences happen. Anyway, I am just happy my stuff works again and I don't have to use Google Docs and write my mails on my phone. -
We use MDD!! I coined this term one night after getting frustrated and having a lot of drinks. What's that, you ask?
MAGIC DRIVEN DEVELOPMENT
It's when you're working on a not-so-recent code base and are afraid to make any changes in fear of breaking things up. You've touched some modules, and now you restrict yourself to work only on those treating all others as a blackbox. Even if something can be achieved by a small change in one of the blackboxes, you still go for multiple changes in the modules you're familiar with! Such is the horror. You start saying that those modules work by some dark magic that nobody understands! -
My team has a pathological need to NOT comment! What the fuck!! I think it is because a lot of it is actually magic, so they don't want to admit ignorance. My code is full of "not sure why it works, but breaks when removed." Chunks. That way, when debugging, I actually know what is going on????
I am currently going through and editing someone else's code, and I see code that has no clear purpose, even when removed! Does it do something I don't see??? Does it do nothing?? Fuck! -
Repeater + Android 4.2.2 + Android web server
Hey guys
I have a stupid problem.. Mas that is the opposite of everyone else (so no Google can help me)
I want my android phone (my personal server) to connect directly to the router, and never to the repeater (the port 80 is blocked this way)
How can I do this magic?
Thanks11 -
Why is it that people volunteer on behalf of developers!?? For anything remotely technical!
No we're not a "tool" for you to use! Or a "magic wand" to make your problems disappear! FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! -
I never stop being amazed by how one of your people call and say "client X is stuck they can't do shit omg omg top tier emergency" and when you ask them what's the issue they say "well idk they didn't say anything, how are you gonna fix it?" as if i had a magic wand and could fix everyone's problems with a snap of my fingers and understanding what's happening with literally 0 details.
Turns out 1 minute later the "issue" was due to the customer being dumb, software was more than fine and running correctly 🤔 -
"Please provide steps to reproduce" seems to be the catch-22 when people try and kick up a fuss about a bug I'm certain doesn't exist.
It's funny because then they report the bug, they word it like I've ruined their life, that can simply cannot continue to function until this error is fixed, yet those simple magic words "Provide steps to reproduce" seems to put their prioritise back into perspective or at the least scares them back into the void from which they came. -
Wow Go is awesome, throwing some of its magic and making data ingestion that took one minute plus and make it run under 3 seconds.
Feels good -
Dumb as a rock...
Pet rocks...
Why people so dumb to be dumb as a rock and have pet rocks?
Yet people have computers which basically have a math rock that runs the system. People think computers are smart so they defer to things like online data and ai systems. As if the computer somehow "knows" better. The R2D2 effect. Fancy magic 8 balls.
Society is dumber than a rock. Seems to be getting dumber too. The irony is that people who had pet rocks also went outside and touched grass.4 -
Why oh why it's so fucking hard to update perl on gentoo!?
It just shows how broken portage as become.
And everyone seems to have it's own magic incantation of emerge/qlist
Fucking fuck piece of shit gentoo is becoming2 -
I hate when application is lying to me. For example when it says my message has proper length, in this case maximal allowed length (showing 0 characters remaining), but then throws some random error message like "Your comment is probably blank.". But when I apply some magic, like when I remove 2* characters from it, suddenly it's working as expected. (Removing 1 character isn't working, hence the magic.)
PS: This does devRant Android app and web version as well. -
I still remember that afternoon when I was in 9th grade, it was raining outside, I entered in the lab for the first time, and there she was sitting alone, shining like a dew drop. I could not resist, and I sit with her for a while, we talked, we touched, and the magic happened. that was the day and today is the day, no one can take us apart. We are like made for each other. That was for the first time I touched a machine, and never looked back. The endless possibilities with programming, and desire to fulfil the everlasting thirst of creativity and problem solving made a developer/programmer/mathematician/physicist.
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!rant
If anyone is interested in having a git command to auto-checkout-pull-checkout-rebase, I made a "git magic" command which will do exactly that!
https://gist.github.com/jsmrcaga/... -
Well, for me being a dev or at least a hobby-dev is like reading and writing a book. Each like of code holds a thought as each sentence holds a story. The more you write, the better is the result. It's the feeling that you can do art in multiple ways.
Once you start, you fall down a deep and unknown rabbit hole, yet it's a slow fall, with a lot of obstacles in the way. You'll get bruises. Break something even. In the end you'll die. That doesn't matter though, because what's left after you is the path you chose and it's open for anyone who dares to follow you.
It's like magic. -
The company wants to implement a CRM with the cleansing rules built and managed by the business. What software did you buy or stack did you build on; for business directed data cleansing? We are a Microsoft shop but we can adapt is the solution is in the “magic quadrant”.
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Rust's Fn traits feel weird. The argument tuple is a generic parameter, but the return type is an associated type, even though Rust is supposed to use Hindley-Milner type inference, so inferring through return type should always fail if this were a regular trait.
Then, this would mean that blanket implementations for Fn(T) and Fn(T, U) should conflict because AnyTrait<(T)> and AnyTrait<(T, U)> aren't mutually exclusive. I tried, they work just fine.
There's some weird and I suspect unnecessary special case magic here, and I'd like to uncover it.17 -
thoughts on the Apple Magic Mouse? is it worth it if you use a Mac for work? I'd definitely get a generation old one where the charging port isn't on the fucking bottom if I were to get one lmfao6
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Storytime.
The Prometheus tales
Part IV - A new FUBAR.
A new and very fascinating problem emerged a few days, after feeding some node definitions to the new titan instance.
It's a storage fuck-up. A major one.
If I'm informed correctly, the latest prometheus should have the same (or even better) log compression algorithms for metrics, as the old one - because these fuckers are so damn good at what they are doing: compress some fucking logs.
The new instance is agregating metrics as planned. Grafana work's like a fucking charm.
Nethertheless, because of very fascinating but unknown reasons, the new instance creates 50GB of metrics in under 4 fucking hours.
Am I missing something here? Some magic parameter that has to be passed to the titan, that enables the hardcore compress-them-fuckers-feature?
Debugging session is tomorrow.
To be continued. -
In retrospective, I believe everyone else find me one of the most annoying coworkers they ever had.
Sitting all the way back there, all alone, doing that "black magic"-shit that's called the Internet and none of us understand. The Internet is a fad that will pass, just you wait and see. How come he gets paid at all? Why doesn't the managers change his job description so he can do a proper job, like help out in the dinosaur business we're all so dedicated to. And if I try to suggest a new task for him - why does he always answer with question after question? Why do I have to explain? Why can't he just understand what I'm thinking? Screw him! I hate him.1 -
I was signing up for a new account on Magic. I wasn't paying attention so I accidentally didn't change my date of birth, so it didn't let me create an account because they thought I was just born today. I changed that field but nope, it remembered I had told it I was 1 day old and it didn't let me change my mind. Delete cookies, nothing. Reload page, nothing. So I go into Postman and re-create the request and BOOM! I even got an access token for their API. This is why I love being a dev.
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My current distractions are the need for keltfest and castlefest. I can hardly wait for them. Aside from those two, at work there are hardly any distractions but when it comes to personal projects... yeez where to start?
- magic the gathering
- tv shows
- youtube
- planning furniture creation
- movies
- games
- playing the guitar
This is probably because I don't own a desk. Will create one within the next two weeks. -
You can call me a noob developer, but I still think its magic when your code doesn't work. So you step through your code to see what's wrong. But you can't see it. So you just hit continue just to see your code is now working3
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!dev
The moment i heard, that there is a magic artifact in starfield, i audibly sighed and thought, yeah no thanks. It apparently gives the character magic abilities..
Now i feel basically the same, like when they introduced dragons in the elder scrolls universe with skyrim. Incidently i never really played Skyrim.
Otherwise that game looks kinda cool. But 70€ (100€ for deluxe) is too much for 30h mainstory imo.3 -
Consider an API that uses the HTTP path to represent position in a tree that literally represents a file tree with minimal constraints, and GET/PUT/DELETE methods to read, write and destroy the nodes. How would you encode read/write operations to per-node metadata? The kinds of metadata are static and around 4, so inventing HTTP verbs for each of them is infeasible but filtering is not necessary.
Options considered so far:
- toplevel resources alongside a namespaced /data such as /acl, /lock
- magic keywords to the Range header (this is apparently compliant)
- mimetypes such as text/plain+acl
- SETPROP / PROP methods in the spirit of WebDAV
- headers (I worry this may become an immitigable bottleneck really fast)
I'm looking for any kind of suggestion or insight, not perfect answers.
I read the WebDAV specification and I won't even suggest that I'm trying to align with it, the only protocol I'd seen in the past with comparable scope bloat is WebRTC.23 -
I made this: https://gitlab.com/snippets/1992288
Spare me if the title makes no sense grammatically, not a native speaker.
I'm building a microservice that keeps a check of the subscribers on my product, I wanted to keep an eye of those subscribers that may be missing the latest payment.
One way to do that is to make it work with my code and some ORM magic, but that may become unsustainable as the customer base grows, another idea that occurred to me was doing it fully inside (?) the database. The solution is to compare how many days have passed since the last payment and right now, if 'right now' is larger than 'last payment' then the subscriber is late with their next payment.
I did this as a PL/pgSQL function with an example usage accompanying that code.
Now, I just need to figure out how to use the result of those calculations in a WHERE statement...2 -
Hummm(flash back)... I was studying art and design when I've decided to become a web designer, but by the time it came to take my degree also took some frontend languages and them(big explosion and fireworks) it was like magic, I could design and give life to my creations!!! 6 years later still is magic(not the rainbow and unicorns type) ...you know dam well i am talking to you javascript(and your dam post apocalypse bugs)... 😁😁😁 still wouldn't imagine my self doing anything else!
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Is there any way to make a file on your Linux or Windows computer where you can back up your phone through the magic of the interwed?
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I needed to migrate one DB to another with one sql suite but instead I fucked up and suddenly disconnected both DBs, without being able to reconnect them again
I waisted a whole day for debugging, but found nothing
And guess which magic fixed all issues? On and Off a service of an app
On and Off!!!
The fun thing is that restarting the server didn't help, but the only service helped1 -
For those who ever tried to find and/or implement a crm: everything seems to be based on that bastardized vtiger core which is based on an old version of sugarcrm I'm so fucking tired of that shit. I gonna make my own. The underlying framework makes me sick to the bone. Everything in there relies heavily on magic. Being arround for years and just recently got a new major release yet unable to transfer offer items to the invoice even though it requires a relation?
This is not blunt talk. My thing is based on Laravel, EAV principle for dynamic fields, module code structure, interface for the list view and many other stuff is already integrated. This is gonna be done and will be done because existing stuff is so fucking ugly and broken I can't fathom myself.
Btw I still need a name
PS: I hate smarty, PearDb and their fucking database layout -
Tfw you see "So here is the magic behind the following." as coding comment the day after you declared a separate modification that you made as "witchcraft".
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Make an ASP .NET application for job interview take home assignment.
Try to use docker with it.
Runs fine through Visual studio (not code)
I declare is working and submit to organization but say it can run through docker-compose up.
I get reply that even the basic command doesn't work.
Turns out visual studio does some magic mapping or caching under the hood that I couldn't find in any config in the project and somehow gets it to work, but when running without Visual studio it doesn't have that magic context shit and thus running through terminal fails.
Obviously a lot is my fault for assuming what works through IDE would run through terminal without testing, but I will be angry with VS to make myself feel better >.>2 -
Before trying the hyped up latest hotness:
I can't wait to try Webpack, I hear it's going to solve all my problems.
After:
I FELL FOR IT AGAIN!!! When will I learn nothing is magic and JS knows no god1 -
Spring roo by a country fucking mile, it tries to do too much magic under the bonnet, it creates files which if you modify it gg from me and gg from him (two Ronnie's), if you generate html forms with it takes less than half a beer to either SQL inject or xss it and worst of all it has one of those names that no-one can take seriously.
My advice avoid it like the syphilitic donkey it is. -
This is what motivates me to move forward in the field of tech:
"Any highly advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic!"9 -
yo so wtf opengl doing over there
all I can find on "APIENTRYP" is that it's "macro magic that makes everything work" but it's breaking fucking everything. I remove it and it works again (well, kinda, i still gotta fix some typing horseshit)
why is opengl in shambles i just wanna compile gdi -
Okay fine now enough is enough
Yes I declared and assigned the variable after calling the function and it's usage, and yes I copied it directly from a tutorial which had snippets everywhere, and yes I was blind and it took me 4 hours to find this bug, while eating chocolate but that's not important (c'mon I deserve a chocolate) and yes I found it immediately when I was posting a question about it on Stack Overflow.
But please JavaScript, why can't you do some magic find the variable in the whole script?1 -
About a month in and I've found that Github copilot code suggestions are like magic half the time. The other half is useless garbage.
However, writing comments has been a dream. 99% of the time it gives the correct description. If anything its worth using for just that.1 -
Just got assigned a ticket from a client, who described their issue with a very informative note that says:
[site name] keeps timing out
This is actually probably related to another issue I'm trying to fix (though I'm sure client doesn't know that), so if I'm lucky I'll be able to figure this out. But it seriously peeves me when clients give us a four word generic problem and expect us to just wave our magic wand to fix it -
I'm a part designer so I need to have Illustrator/Photoshop on my machines, so I need to have a windows with WSL with ubuntu on it.
All's nice, except sometimes it just ends up in some high level of bug sorcery.
I have a file, let's say, D:/project/image.svg. WSL sees it as /mnt/d/project/image.svg. For some reason, today I reached a point where WSL version was different form the windows one. So I had to literally open the same file twice and copy-paste it from windows to ubuntu. Before that I was trying to commit changes to git from WSL but it didn't see any - and I kept wondering why they don't get updated on the site.
Honestly, I'm at the verge of declaring that programming is actually magic.4 -
The holidays are the worst period: since I am the only dev, my boss get into the code, and I receive multiple messages - calls the explain "why this is so bad" and even "when you come back from vacation we need to talk about a lot of problems".
So, everything worked when I was there because of magic, it seems... -
I believe that there's some evil dark magic in the BEAM that detects if the user or developer is on a non *nix machine and then purposefully throws all kinds of strange errors or just fucking blows itself up for no reason. Take the shit to a *nix machine and it just works like magic and is easy to work with which is part of the reason why I love it and the ecosystem.
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SITECORE VS OTHER CMS'S
FIGHT!
Someone I know has been convinced beyond a shadow of a doubt that SiteCore is this amazing peice of magic software where you push a few buttons and your wildest dreams come true.
Anytime there's a probem with our other websites (laravel sites or Drupal sites) we get a lecute on how a SiteCore site would do X so much better and how the problem would never happen on a SiteCore instance'
I think it's a little bloated and don't like the tech stack behind it.
What are your thoughts on it? Is it magic ? Should I agree with him and just stop fighting the inevitable?1 -
CEO wants some Genie magic!!!!
I work at a start-up were we have interns from the university go through trainings and mentorship before joing our team. Budget is very tight and spending is unthinkable.
Took me a lot of pains and sleepless night, reading of tech books and lot of strength to be were I am and I still do it because I want more but recently I got into intense coversation with CEO and he wants me to do some genie magic, he is like.....
CEO: we need more hands to do client work and build our products base , why is it difficult for New developers to start working on our code base?
ME: those guys are not developers, there is a big margin between being a developer and a university graduate in the country.
I was wondering after the whole stuff , if those guys can just grab this thing and become genius overnight, well if that happens then I am screwed, it will imply I am an asshole who spent time at simple things but we know this things can be uneasy to wrap your head around especially when the concept or language is new to you, I was pissed up at the meeting and gave some anoying unreasonable options which tells I was angry, at the end that understood my point and we got a way forward and reasonable4 -
Influxdb 2.0 and the according python client.
This is the stupidest pile of dogshit I have ever encountered. No documentation, no examples, not even for the most basic shit, im fucking done. This is nuts, working like a week on just getting a fucking connection and do some basic curd stuff.
"Id neets to be 16 Bytes long". Yeah, thanks. With Id, org, user, insurance Id?
Next time I gonna implement this bullshit in fucking assembly, so you can have your stupid 16 Bytes without any magic tricks.
FUCK -
I’ve been thinking of making a magic Mirror lately as a side project. I know that they are traditionally made with TVs or computer monitors but I don’t have the space to make a mirror that big. I have a bunch of old Amazon kindles and android phones that I thought would be good to use instead (even though they all have cracked screens). I want the reflective aspect and the touch screen aspect. I think the hardest part is figuring out how to get whatever device that is behind the glass to register touch events on the glass. Any ideas or recommendations? Anybody done anything similar?
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!rant
Teller (of Penn & Teller) once said that magic is sometimes just spending more time on something than any normal person thinks is reasonable
Found online, need citation... -
Blame on ModemManager documenters not specifying any of pre-probing features.
MM is a great project, but I think they lack detailed documentation. Udev is no magic, so don't treat it like snake oil in your documentation! -
Immersive VR/AR that works - kind of like what Magic Leap is but open, free and now.
Alas ..... unlimited budgets are hard to come by -
Quick question.
I feel like I'm quickly developing a Bitcoin addiction. I've figured out how to backup my wallet to 'The cloud's by saving a file to Google drive in case I lose or spike my phone. Tested it out, it works. Got like 98% faith that the crypto is safe as far as not being able to access it like the dogecoin that's sitting on a phone that I still need to repair the screen of. First it was 20$, then 40$ in the BTC ATM. Felt like magic.
My question is:. Is you're opinion of me stupid?14
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