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Meanwhile at NSA:
Alice: Uhm... Bob? I lost my SSH key...
Bob: *facepalms*
Alice: ... but i still have the public key! Could you please recalculate the private one for me?
Bob: Sure, give me a second. I'll fax it to you when it's ready.
Me: *wakes up from nightmare*13 -
#wannaCry :
*US engineers trying to find antivirus.
*Europe engineers finding preventing tools
*Meanwhile Indian engineers already updated their resume with " Worked/Implemented anitvirus for wannyCry"
Meanwhile. .
Indian HR consultants asking for minimum 5 years experience in handling "wannacry"6 -
Meanwhile, in some college in India, when professors try their best to make an interesting question paper.
Read the last 2 instructions
37 -
Normal devRant user:
- Look, the algo it's awesome, it matches similar content posts, it's so funny!
Meanwhile at devRant Headquarters:
trogus: When are you telling them?
dfox: Ignorance is bliss, my friend
trogus: Well, at least we know the random number generator it's not coded by Sony though, otherwise they would suspect10 -
USER: I can't see any data in the page...!
ME: ok, I'll do a check
ME: API calls get no data back. Boss, did you change anything and put it in production?
BOSS: Absolutely not, I just modified the name of what was the "Family" parameter in "Type".
ME: Seems legit. Totally agree. I'm going to lunch. Can you check in the meanwhile why calling the API with "Family" does return nothing? Thanks.3 -
!rant
Got fired a few months back because of my 'colourful personality'...
They hired a replacement for my position, a yes-knodder and -apparently- a person without any sense of pro-active commitment.
Hearing from ex-coworkerd, the replacement is a total slob, and the company owners already regretting their decision.
Meanwhile, got my own company and do the things i did before for a lot more money.
Muahahahahaha14 -
Stack overflow helped one million developers exit vim.
Meanwhile, my friend struggling with notepad++.4 -
Elon Musk makes a front end website containing a single alphabet in html and everyone loses their mind. Meanwhile me deploying with heroku to host the awesome fb-like rails app I made and no one gives a fuck to open it19
-
When you come back to the first link you found googling and only now you understand it because of the bits and pieces you gathered meanwhile.
3 -
I see people complaining about their CS professors quite frequently. Meanwhile, my CS professor stays late and is always willing to help us out with our work. I've been to his office twice this week to get help with assignments, and each time he's glad to help.
Oh and he offers us a soda as we get ready to leave. He has a filing cabinet full of can sodas. 100% my favorite professor I've ever had.5 -
#wannaCry Ransomware:
US engineers trying to find antivirus
Europe engineers finding preventing tools
meanwhile...
Indian engineers already updated their resume with " Worked/Implemented fix for wannaCry ransomware"
Meanwhile...
Indian HR consultants asking for minimum 5 years experience in handling "wannacry"
And meanwhile....
in Hyderabad Ameerpet - people might be seeing banners of training institutes mentioning that they have trainers available with 10 years of industry experience on this.😜😜😝😝6 -
if(isStressedOut()) {
procrastinate();
}
meanwhile (somewhere else in the code)...
void procrastinate() {
procrastinate();
}9 -
Meanwhile at HTC:
Dev: Just gonna tweak this function to make our keyboard faster!
Dev: ha! Done, users will love this update
5 -
Suddenly it hits me.
It’s 01:20 here but i get it.
It’s ALL a budget thing.
No dedicated tester means less expenses.
No personal parkspot?
No expenses!
And no good staging or testing environment? Less expenses!
Meanwhile every developer can setup, work on, and maintain about 20 websites on their shitty local Windows machine, that doesn’t even have a proper SSD installed, and we are setting impossible deadlines to figure out who will sink and who will swim.
Ow, here is a SSD.. Figure out the installation yourself because we have no IT knowledge or budget for people that do.
You want a challenge? How about 40 other people that are distracting you all day long.
Meanwhile everybody has to improve their skills in js, react, html5, ccs3, angular, .net and razor so money can made faster.
It would be nice if you could build apps as well.
You had a question? Sorry, no time. Expect some feedback 14 days later.
You finished the site?
Great!
But here are 101 bugs to solve before next week.
All hail their crazy company!2 -
!Rant
Meanwhile I work 1,5years for a company which makes AutoCAD plugins. I have created a dozen of plugins now, some very complicated.
Yesterday I started on the simplest plugin, a tutorial for new colleagues. It literally prints "hello world" after giving a command.
Guess what... I can't get it to work 😖7 -
So much rant against the GDPR. In the meanwhile USA Today created a site just for the EU. No Tracking or Ads. A site which was normally 5mb big to load is now 500kb for the EU! Awesome! Thats what the internet could be!
3 -
inside incubator
port 22 - blocked
steam - blocked
Have to prove you are human, while visiting every other website
Sometimes captca doesnot stop after 3-4 images. Goes on to show you even more
meanwhile,
facebook - unblocked
instagram - unblocked
youporn - unblocked16 -
So.. the software team I work with still maintain Java 6 apps.. meanwhile management keep asking when we're "moving to the cloud".
DevRant posts are too small for me to describe our technical debt.... 🤦10 -
I got the job! 🥳 🎉
One company wanted me to wait a little over a week because they had other final round interviews going on. Meanwhile, during that time, I got an offer, but declined because of lower than expected salary and higher salary on the other potential offer. Later, they got back and increased the salary and changed the role to Lead. Got the role after one more round of interview. 😁10 -
After I showed my private desk last already, here still my place at work. Meanwhile I don't even know how to program productively with less than three monitors under Windows.
But now you know one of our wonderful corporate wallpapers. And yes, my desktop is always so empty, that's no fake.
4 -
Does anyone else ever feel like they're too stupid to be a good programmer? Like some of the people here are very very intelligent. Meanwhile, I'm over here making a fucking 8% on a calculus exam. I just feel like I'm way too stupid to actually be good at this.19
-
Client : We need this feature
Team lead : Sure, we will deliver this to you in 3 days.
Meanwhile Teamlead forgets to work on it or assign it to anyone in the team while he was surrounded by many other tasks.
Client on 2nd day morning : What's the progress on that feature?
Teamlead to Client: It's going fine, we will deliver it to you on time.
Meanwhile, Teamlead to a junior developer in the team (on 2nd day afternoon): We have this priority feature where we need to finish it in one day and deliver it tomorrow!
Junior Dev to Teamlead : This is too much of work to complete it in 1 day, it atleast needs 3 days!
Teamlead to Junior dev : I don't care, can't talk, busy, just complete the work and deal with the client, bye.
And the Junior dev continues to struggle where he is unknown of the fact that the task actually was of 3 days but just because the Teamlead forgot to do the task and also to assign the task early, he is in trouble!9 -
Everyone is in a panick about Microsoft buying GitHub. Meanwhile, I've been using the far more superior Google Drive for ages.
Get with the times lads!2 -
"BlueStacks 4, 6 times faster than every phone on Earth!!!"
*wank wank*
Meanwhile, it can't even do window compositing (y u no use the fucking compositor of the fucking OS?!) or keyboard input (sends Return twice apparently). But yeah, faster than every phone on Earth. MY FUCKING ASS IS FASTER, FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT!!!
So much for a Sunday where my servers can go straight to hell for a day, and I'll just play some fucking games.. so much for that.
FUCK!!!6 -
I really hate these "an error occurred" messages, guessing I'll talk with IT later today.
Meanwhile, the dialog should show
1 -
Introduction to graphics
Lecturer says "this is a very practical course. In fact I think we should have a practical exam"
All students agree. He would sort out that matter.
Meanwhile he taught us how to making shapes in java, then a house, then a game...
And the exam was for us to make a building where a user can walk through the building using the arrow keys...
What fun we had. We got out marks...and everybody did well!!!!1 -
Hoping so much that the new devRant store has official devRant caps.
In the meanwhile I hacked this and wore it backwards during my last 4 race walks including the NY State Empire Game Championships so my opponents could watch 'little devvie' stare them down for 30+ minutes. It worked!
-
Meanwhile, in a bus station in Spain...
It has been auto-restarting for 20 minutes. It doesn't even try to boot the OS
4 -
<lifeRant> My two year old daughter gets a sticker for going "poo-poo on the potty".... Meanwhile I'm stalking my one rant that is close to getting me a squishy ball! Who's really making progress in their life, me or her? </lifeRant>5
-
remember, to them, we're just cogs
easily replacable machine parts
meanwhile they're "extremely special" because they've thought of the next 10 iterations of microsoft fucking excel
"HR tech startup" give me a fucking break dude5 -
Professor asks me to do research on deep complex neural networks, as in neural networks that perform on complex numbers.
Meanwhile me: "Google, what are complex numbers?"24 -
Having pets is a good way to prepare yourself for working in a brown-field environment.
When your cat or dog shits on the floor, you get the same feeling as when you need to dive into a legacy code base.
You know you can't just leave it there, and yet you still want to find anything else to do except for touch the pile of shit in the middle of the room.
Meanwhile you know your users are going to end up trampling over it and mashing it into your carpet.
4 -
Stepped out of my comfort zone and dropped a Zoom link into the channel for Lambda grads to see if anyone wanted to work through code challenges together. It ended up being enjoyable enough that I’m thinking of making it a regular thing. Meanwhile, contribution graph is still going strong.
2 -
[ Meanwhile in python ] I thought it was just a joke , and now i take it seriously '😂😂😂!
(Old one)
2 -
So, 5/10 minutes of discussion about a class i need in the code. This was with the backender.
Ofcourse the designer hears this, joins the discussion and causes another 10minutes of explaining that a photo is different then a video...
Meanwhile i took a piss and got coffee because i’m fucking tired of these discusseion. You’re a designer, why care about code other people write. Go draw something1 -
Management : We need to deliver this by September!!!
Meanwhile every dev took 2-3 weeks of vacation in August.1 -
Random almost tech guy at workspace
1. Opens Google Chrome
2.Types... www.google.co.in in the OMNIBOX
3.Hits enter
4.Types search query.
God just committed suicide meanwhile.4 -
So, my country did banned Telegram for a terrorism issue. Meanwhile, Telegram also banned terrorist groups. What do you think about that?19
-
Google: buys Android
Makes tons of $ from Ads
Meanwhile 7 year old bugs
Are still not fixed
A bug reported in 2012: recently created files are not visible when using MTP protocol.
Guess what? I still have this bug on my 2017 phone, like many other people.
Probably has something to do with file cache.
Because obviously 7 years is not enough to fix a stupid bug. Especially when Google is busy implementing all the other features nobody asked for except marketing department4 -
Today, this made me think: My bank limits the password I can choose to 16 chars, and only letters and numbers are allowed, no special chars. Meanwhile on Typeracer.com I was able to use 60 character password, including numbers, letters and special chars.9
-
Me: *presenting a demo of tool in office presentation*
Meanwhile an audience is browsing Facebook on his phone...
Me: *Finish demo*
*Said member of audience calmly places his phone on the table.*
Douche: "So can you go over that once more?"
Me: ...3 -
Fucking non technical managers and their shitty clients to whom they suck their tiny weiners need to realise that I cannot reorder elements every 10 minutes to the shape of their fart comming out of their ass, test it, deploy it, trigger webhook, clear cloudflare cache, and meanwhile be sure that it's written in quality manner for future upkeep with commits that have sense.Hope deadline driven development dies in hell where it belongs
-
Dev's talking about feeling bad for having no reputation on stackoverflow, meanwhile I don't even remember my username or the email I used when I signed up 😂3
-
The fucker complains when someone doesn't write unit tests, meanwhile he tops any new code he writes with a @codeCoverageIgnore annotation ... 😒😒7
-
Fuck my life! For my studies at University it is required that I learn how to code... Over the past month I've been learning java, and yesterday a friend of mine has introduced me to Go. Now all I want to do is learn Go, meanwhile our Prof pushes us to learn switch-case and goto...17
-
Why is it that mediocre people are so loud mouthed.
some stupid wannabe fuck buys a sports car ranging around 100k, he will 3 stories of a week of that car.
Meanwhile the guy who has his own yatch and 12 properties doesn't say a word about it and appears lowkey
i find this fascinating af8 -
Co-employee in Slack: Let's get this bread
*1 hour later*
That guy: Bread has been acquired
Meanwhile me: *Forgot to eat breakfast and read the sentence wrong*
God I wish I was that guy5 -
I don't get why nowadays people still buy smartphones with battery capacity between 2500mAh and 3500mAh meanwhile there are cheap enough smartphones with fricking 5000mAh(or more)!
Typing from 3 day averagely lasting smartphone, with my use.
16 -
Colleague: Ivy, I have a problem with blah blah.
(Meanwhile we are in two different places)
Me: I'm not sure I understand your problem. Just Google it.
Colleague: I don't want to.
Me: Okay bye.
Question: Are Developers who use Google impostors?9 -
Founder of world two most hated companies/product ( Apple/iPhone, microsoft/windows vista/windows8/windows10/lumia/ ) are amongst richest person in the world.
Meanwhile creator of worlds most loved/less hated products are hardly know to people (Android/Andy, linux/Trovalds)10 -
I kinda feel like people trying to call Facebook "Meta" is just as awkward as people trying to use correct pronouns when a person announces that now their pronouns changed.
A person, however, deserves to be understood.
Meanwhile, Meta is just Facebook. A new name won't solve that shit pile of ethical problems and sketchy business practices that just keeps growing.6 -
I am at Lenovo service center to bring back my laptop after replace of motherboard (they replaced because card reader not working). Ohh. I checked again and it's not yet working (illiterate technician)...
.
..
Waiting for 1 hour..
..
Meanwhile I see they are outsourcing their screen , monitor,scanner etc. From dell,acer... Ohh how can they prove they are better...
.
.
.
.
Okay!now hit me hard a person came here for service and without even booting they concluded the windows inside laptop is pirated🤔😌2 -
what the fuck, going through user reviews and seeing countless 1-star reviews about "there are ads at the bottom" or "premium features cost money"
meanwhile, on my side, I am lossing money because of API fees so THEY can experience the app. I would love to make the app free, but I can not. they should try being a dev for a day4 -
People are talking about Windows VS Linux about security, meanwhile: https://wikileaks.org/vault7/...5
-
Fuck android studio in the ass with cactus.
*starts learning Android*
*Builds simple application with 1 Button, 1 TextView and 1 EditText*
At this point, I haven't implied any logic or code in MainActivity.java.
*Hit Run*
*Gradle Build*
*Meanwhile, eat lunch*
*Still Gradle Build*
*After 2 Eternity, Build finished*
Fucking, slow peice of shit. I'm rebuiliding the App, because the AVD timedout while running.18 -
Oh you're a real programmer because you use pointers.... Big man you are. Meanwhile I'm at home because I use a garbage collector and don't have any memory bugs.9
-
Swap variable without temporary variable
meanwhile C:
a=a+b
b=a-b
a=a-b
while python:
a,b=b,a
Python be like:B*tch Please9 -
When my manager says you can do this whole project in 14 days its very easy,
meanwhile project and me
2 -
I decided to learn Swift as I would like to make apps. So I installed swift and swift-jupyter in my Linux server after my 2012 iMac literally took 20 fucking minutes to compile `print("hello world")` in Playgrounds. Meanwhile, my server compiles python code in a swift jupyter notebook in seconds.
-
Ive been working on the same project for over a year now and the client is still asking for more features.
Meanwhile the whole industry is passig me by.4 -
Just reading Knuth's The Art of Computer Programming, where he created an own assembly language, so the book doesn't rely on a currently in fashion language... Meanwhile teaching students to code a GUI in java swing, because it was the new shit when the syllabus was created...1
-
Everyone shitting on SO answers being mean (which sometimes they are), meanwhile:
https://stackoverflow.com/questions...
Garbage like this is how you become a misanthrope.11 -
A bit of an anecdote here:
The project I am working on at my internship has to function perfectly in IE11.
There are users using it on fucking IE6, but no one paid extra for IE6 support.
Meanwhile, Microsoft themselves doesn't support IE11 anymore.8 -
I sense Malaria. Will go for red fluid test and come back with test results.
Meanwhile, if anyone wants a vibrator, HMU, I am shivering better than a battery operated one.10 -
Meanwhile I reach 175 +1's I'm playing with my own custom stress ball with a bash fork bomb on it :]
-
So a week ago my boss asked me to design + build/write code for our new site from scratch.
Meanwhile the old website they have had for 5 years is still without SSL and looks pre-2000.
It's supposed to be finished and be mobile responsive by tomorrow.
I'm the digital marketer.3 -
Meanwhile in Russia one of the most important banks and its online payment services failed for 6 hours because of the broken cable during road works1
-
##Design to front-end conversion
Me - Send me the designs so i can start working it
Graphic Designer - Done ( Sends PSD files )
Me - Send me them separately, element by element, with transparency, color codes and flattened designs not PSD's
GD - Done
Me - Opens email to see elements that should be transparent saved as jpg's
Me - Opens PSD's, crop and save elements.
Meanwhile explains next time do this and that so it'll be easier.
Usually this happens few times a month6 -
My russian ex co-worker, who had to cut his toenails during meetings in office. Wtaf!!!!
Disgusting.1 -
Full HD wallpaper
"Black Kite severely slices KiKi with a sword"
I'm working on a video for dR Hunger Games 3. It takes a heck of time, since I'm learning more video editing techniques. Meanwhile, have this ;)
8 -
That weird scared-like face people are having when they see me with laptop and lan cable... :/ *Meanwhile everyone on Wi-FI*3
-
Navigation is most of the times placed in the top left of your screen (devrant does this aswell ). Meanwhile this is the hardest place to reach with your thumb when you're holding your phone. Whyyyy???10
-
Fucking Chinese designers...
Spent all afternoon leveling the 3D printer table while scratching it a lot.
all afternoon to understand that one piece is bent and the extruder is a lot lower it should have been...
Meanwhile, leveled the table with my knowledge of CNC and a specific tool that allows me to take measures up to 0.01mm...
Could have saved €20 on this fucking auto leveler that doesn't really work.8 -
> Develop puppet deployment module for hip new mail server
> set vm so taht it simulates cheap ass requirements of 1 core, 1 gig ram
> finally get to the webserver part, need to generate own dhparam.pem
Meanwhile my beard is becoming more and more grey
3 -
you know whats wild? they're talking of AI taking of the world
and meanwhile we still need to fill out and send copies of pdfs everywhere to get things done
🤡5 -
Most web developers don't seem to care at all about ecological footprint and UX/UI impact on people and society, like they never cared about accessibility either, desperately dreaming to work for the Californian oligopoly companies that shaped our current digital infrastructure.
Meanwhile, rivers run dry, forest are burning, people starving and soldiers killing people.
But politics is taboo, even on devrant. Let's post a funny thank-God(?!)-it's-Friday GIF animation instead!?
What kind of people do we want to be?14 -
#Ransomware :US engineers trying to find antivirus, Europe engineers finding preventing tools, meanwhile Indian engineers already updated their resume with " Worked/Implemented anitvirus for ransomware"
Meanwhile. . Indian HR consultants asking for minimum 5 years experience in handling "ransomware"3 -
Trying to troubleshoot this busted ass code for a client. Meanwhile, my wife is in class and my two daughters are blowing chunks.
Staring at devRant isn't fixing anything either. Lol -
Is anybody else nonstop recruited for what essentially chalk up to be excel or google calendar clones? God, all of these 5 mil + funded startups are web apps for TABLES... I mean WTF ARE WE DOING HERE FOLKS?!
The James Webb telescope is literally going to find the existence of life on exoplanets and meanwhile on earth fumbling around in the sandbox with these reinventions of reinventions of reinventions
Sometimes I feel like I'm in the wrong line of work6 -
Has anyone else built any websites or apps for friends or family for free? Is it just me, or is free work always the least appreciated? The demands are also unrealistic. Meanwhile my full-time employers charges over $6000 for a week of work for the client which on some weeks is things like adjusting some styles and changing some config, and they are appreciative every time.7
-
Meanwhile, inside the kernel of my device that has a relatively frequent release cycle...
if (!isLatestVersion()) {
forceUserToUpgrade();
}
forceUserToUpgrade() {
extraSleepForCpuSoDeviceBecomesSlowAndUnusable++;
}2 -
Attention guys and gals! If you are using grafana in your home setup, update it asap to 4.6.4 or 5.2.3. versions before those two are affected by an authentication bypass vulnerability. CVE 2018-15727
In the meanwhile, my nginx config is blocking everything but the LAN ips :) -
I don't know how many hours in a row it was, but one month I put down about 340 hours of work.
My boss had taken upon this massive project with a deadline at the end of the month. I basically lived at the office (I actually spent the night there more than once), meanwhile he was out sailing.1 -
What container data structures do all of you actually use?
For me, I'd say: dynamically sized array, hashtable, and hash set. (And string if you count that.)
In the past 8 months, I've used another container type maybe once?
Meanwhile, I remember in school, we had all these classes on all these fancy data structures, I havent seen most of them since.19 -
Support asked me to help. Issue at customer side I don't realy care about (Not reproducable)
She told me to wait 3 minutes.
Since 10 minutes I'm waiting for her to be ready and reading meanwhile on devrant. Great Workingtime 👍 -
While sorting through my downloads folder, I noticed the file size for the Atom setup program: 138MB. For a text editor, that's pretty ridiculous and makes its name quite ironic.
I have similar disdain for Piskel (pixel graphics editor) and Etcher (USB/SD card image writer). Though these are all useful programs, none of these ought to be anywhere near the sizes they are.
Meanwhile, Notepad++ weighs 3MB which is a lot more reasonable.
Ugh...5 -
The real problem it is that i can write lines of code and build algorithm in a fastest way in the late night.
Meanwhile in the afternoon I just wanna eat pizza and sleep on the sofa.5 -
One thing that I'm not that big a fan of in Kubuntu is how I can't just scale one of my screens. I need to scale my 4k monitor to 1.5 the size otherwise it will all be too small. However my 1080p monitor also gets scaled, which is really doesn't since it makes everything wayy too big.
However, when I use display scaling my apps actually fucking scale. Meanwhile on fucking Windows they haven't figured that out yet
Bigger image: https://imgur.com/a/3qBo31o
4 -
bae: hey,do you know where did the word 'oops' came from?
me: object oriented programming? 😋
bae: no, its from the noises that we naturally make when we slice our palm with the Night Cheese knife 😝
me:(quick search on the stack exchange app meanwhile) 😑 it's an alteration of upsy-daisy blah blah
and then she's like GOOD NIGHT!
😂😂 -
*sends email to ops manager to explain nuget & git (yes, he is THAT guy)
*his reply "what's nuget?"
Ooooooooh! Why don't you open Google and do a fucking search you amazingly stupid twat!!! In what fucking era do you live in? What the fuck are you doing at work everyday, besides complaining about how time consuming your useless mundane tasks are? Take some of your undeserved salary and go educate yourself, you useless sack of shit! FUCK!
*meanwhile... Little grin on my face. *Shift+delete email.1 -
And another one bites the dust. This is colleague number 5 this year. So far only one person got a replacement. Great that all the rest of us get more workload to handle.
Meanwhile i overheard the manager make a sarcastic comment about developers like “who needs developers”.
Good thing my crypto savings are gaining atm. I’m giving this company another year. Max.2 -
On a Sunday 8pm evening. C-Level (CEO, CFO, C-etc) guy account is getting auto logout.
Boss: please be available on a 9pm call.
Me: can this wait till tomorrow?
Boss: No
Me in my head: why cant just login again
Meanwhile on normal days: other users experiencing issues.
Boss: C-guy never experienced and I cant replicate it.
Me: nice..4 -
Discretion is advised
I had a bizarre nightmare where I wake up tied, my head inside the glass cube, my eyelids stitched to my eyebrows so I can’t close my eyes, and then @rutee07 pours drain cleaner into that cube, through immense pain I feel my eyes turning cloudy and skin on my face turning into soap, meanwhile drain cleaner goes down my throat
And then I woke up. This dream was the reason behind my dice game liquid PH rant I posted not much earlier.3 -
Arg!
Revenue from ads going downhill and I can't release a new version of a game because it's tied to an event, and I can't even announce it yet.
Sent a proposal for a government grant. Deadline was Aug. 15th, but still no word on it - they didn't even updated the website, which by all means, still have the "send proposal" button active...
Meanwhile also developing another game, but I can't seem to decide on the music and sound fx for it. Can't find some style that will "fit".
Oh the joys of gamedev. :P -
Meanwhile pinterest was throwing this error and is expecting the user to catch/handle the error! Lol
2 -
Colleagues in IT Student Assistant's desk: [Watching Kimi No Nawa]
Meanwhile me : [Creating 2 small kubnernetes Raspberry Pi Clusters on my free time]
Talk about dedication.1 -
Interviewer: What is the difference between traditional programming and object-oriented programming?
Me: (elaborating) Blah... Blah... Blah.. (meanwhile on my mind, "The same difference between you and your father...")4 -
This guy... starts at 11. Ends at 16:00... And i’m supposed to work with him while my day is 9-17. No communication whatsoever. Great. Fucking great. Im boring my brains out meanwhile.1
-
!rant
Just found out that all the high school varsity sports kids that got full rides to ivy leagues for sports are all transferring or failing. Meanwhile, I've been accepted into a graduate program for Software Engineering and I'm going into my second internship this summer. I know to most people that's just more work and more school but to me that's winning -
I've just noticed, the rest of the world says things like "your check is null and void," as if those two things are one and the same.
Meanwhile, to us devs, they couldn't be any more different! Something can't be both null AND void! 😅8 -
TIL the ` character is known as the 'grave' character
meanwhile my 🤡 ass has been calling it 'back tick' this whole time...
🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡14 -
Suppose you're at work and you have this monolithic project and you hit 'compile'.. which takes half an hour each time. What do you do meanwhile?30
-
I really like that a lot of people in construction work just dont take anyones bullshit. If someone fucks up, it gets fixed. Sometimes with a lot of cussing.
Meanwhile as a programmer if you call out anyone or anything for doing something wrong, you get immediate backlash cause of it. Its a lot like that you are the problem for calling it out and not the one who caused the problem in the first place.6 -
This is how non devs imagine our devs. They tend to think a huge change is this quick. Meanwhile back at the ranch it will take a while and a lot more concentration.
-
> unemployed (took a break)
> not gonna go back to the old company
> applied to another job, awaiting a response
> canceled Netflix
> Meanwhile doing small projects for myself, teaching like PWA and Web Notification API, focusing on javascript
> doing small time work (providing WordPress websites), not really proud of it, but only that works here for a small time3 -
I'm so motivated after joining this community and i want to start learning again and keep this up
I started to read eloquent js and watch cs50 course and meanwhile working on my forum
i love to hear your advices for a beginner Including opinion, book, etc.
share with me your experience, thanks a lot ;D2 -
Sitting here scrolling my timeline seeing my friends and family getting engaged, getting their degrees, getting new jobs, talking about #addictedtosuccess and all that. Meanwhile I'm just here like "Should I use a constructor or a static method for this?" 🤷🏽♂️3
-
I got my evaluation today. First time in a year that i had a talk longer 30 minutes. 1,5 hours was a bit too much maybe. After an hour i just wanted to get over with it.
Verdict: average
Meanwhile i could’ve improved my project... -
When do you see/perceive-that a Dev transit from junior to senior?
I'm an undergrad, working, by now, for 9 months in companies meanwhile studying, I have found that I didn't really had any difficult time dealing with the requirements/specs in the working environment, I always found myself being able to adapt to the problem and deal with it, and by this way of doing I can hardly see myself as a junior. What do you think about? (Excuse me for any mistake, I'm drink)2 -
Visibility rendering using traditional vertex/fragment shaders does 39 million tris in about 3.6 ms
With my newest renderer I can push 314 million triangles in about 6 ms right now
And this is just visibility, factoring in material evaluation of traditional deferred it would be at least like 10x worse. Meanwhile everything expensive about materials is completely independent of geometric complexity in my renderer
Literally me rn: https://youtube.com/watch/...
(cant include image because devrant doesn't want to)7 -
While everyone celebrating week end is coming meanwhile i work friday to sunday, and holiday for the rest of the week
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Meanwhile, I see everyone talking about the price of the MacBook while I am forced to work on MacOS and I find that really unpleasant9
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Indian developers were committing hundreds of garbage pull requests to get a free Hacktoberfest t-shirt.
Meanwhile repository admins:
2 -
When I was maybe 3 years old my dad built a PC with a server case, it was huge! The processor was probably something like 386/486 - not sure. I used to play DOS games on it all day long. And the best part is that we still have the PC and surprisingly it still runs!
(Meanwhile I am cloning my secondary 1TB HDD to a 6TB one) -
Ha! I remember now why I picked windows over ubuntu as environment for developing, I can install simultaneously apps in Windows meanwhile in Ubuntu cannot because something gets locked! And FFS the drivers! And also there's no simple way to do simple things like install and get a desktop icon without having to touch some scripts! I mean WTF!9
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bitch, i AM the developer
still love how the most important part of a TECH SaaS (the developers) are always just a commodity "ah just send it off"
meanwhile the dashboards of all these tools for the "business types" are all absolute garbage
the world's all backwards
revenge of the nerds continues until moral improves
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Fuck my video game addiction. I really fucking want to code, but I've got like 3 games in which I need to progress, or I can't continue playing with my friends, bcs of the skill difference. Meanwhile my pi is sitting there just waiting to get tinkered with. Could somebody give me a god damn tip on how to get rid of this.7
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In a meeting where the executives are talking about bandwidth issues during the day that affect productivity, meanwhile the laptop being used for the presentation is running uTorrent
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Wrote a detailed spec, costed and agreed. Meanwhile client and designer agree upon half baked designs that only vaguely resemble the spec. Don't worry though, I have balls. I'm not a yes man. Will put them both straight (again) on how the fuck we do things if it involves me, incompetent twats. Will soon be calling the shots again. Ha ha, it's either that or I fucking walk.
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Embracing the change
meanwhile implementing change number: oh wait, Forgot the count 🥵🤯
Ever happened?
2 -
Just got accepted as a Tutor. I have to teach PhD students in medical field SciKit package for image processing. Been coding in Python using pandas and numpy for years, but I know jack shit on SciKit.
I applied just for fun and got the position. Now I am fucking terrified.
Meanwhile I rejected a Teaching Assistant position because of this one.6 -
I just wished my previous alma mater treated CS students well like damn shitty teachers only teaching them Word and Excel (which is basically already taught in junior high).
Meanwhile my current alma mater is taking C# and Android development.
I pity those fools. -
Developer in anger : I'm gonna leave this team and the manager/team will suffer for my loss and the project will fail.
In the meanwhile,
Manager to the senior manager : If one of the developers die or leaves the team, the project deadline extends by 1 month.
Senior manager : Great. -
Why project manager use group chat to discuss an issue which is related only to one developer, meanwhile other getting messages and notifications which they have no idea and putting their attention something they have no business?
Sometime I did not read message cause I think they are not related to me then I get personal message please check group.
Now other team members are using group chat when they want to discuss something with manager.
Why you people think scope of message before send it???1 -
Meanwhile today, somewhere in America
Fan - "Apple is great. Added two camera on the same phone and 7MP camera om front. Totally irrational. Who does that. Ever heard anyone provided "7" MP camera, all they provide is non-prime and rational. Apple always bring something new and great that others cant "7 -
The washing machine broke 3 days before the wedding :'( it flooded the restaurant below my house and there was a whole fucking mess and I had to clean everything. Meanwhile my boss is still on my ass.
I shouldn't have brought shit from mediamarkt. German quality my balls.14 -
I use google auth for 2FA. Had to factory reset my phone for some reason. Meanwhile, github one day forced me to change my password. So I used the back up recovery code to change the password and then logged out. I was in a hurry and actually forgot to set up the new 2FA. But hey I have got the recovery codes right.
But, guess what? The recovery codes are not working anymore! Wtf github? -
Went to a food stall, ordered the dishes(very simple and must have dishes in any food stall) in menu, and they replied it not yet available.. coming soon...
I immediately thought that IT world has affected the food industry too..
Now, they have coming soon and TODO in their Menu..
Imagine, waiters telling:
"Sir, the dish you ordered is currently in beta testing phase, and we are working to push it into prod soon. Meanwhile, enjoy the existing features(dishes) provided by our restaurant" -
I don’t know why/how, but some guy in my team put the node_modules folder on GitHub.
This person ran *npx create-react-app* and for whatever reason probably DELETED the .gitignore.
I had to fix it of course, and in the meanwhile I forgot to switch branches before changing everything, making git crash because switching branches with +4 million lines of code deleted was too much.
Why don't they let experienced front-end devs initialize projects? I don’t understand.8 -
"Meet the new 'Iphone Tennis'(XS) , or should i say 'Iphone excess'? XD"
"Meanwhile , we are also launching an iphone ten- Hour(XR) which we will completely validate google's point of having a single camera and uselessness of our over-hyped dual camera " -
Skinned my mother alive. She didn’t feel a thing. Threw away everything except the skin itself, but left the head intact. She’s alive and well, albeit can’t move. I roll her up, pack her in my bag and bring her to school with me.
She wasn’t quite against it, but wasn’t happy either. Just kept talking to me condescendingly, as usual.
Meanwhile, my grandpa recreated his room in Excel and moved there.6 -
After 3 months of working as android dev, startup decides to freeze android work for next 4-5 months in order to focus on iOS. Meanwhile I'm being asked to start doing backend work. Need advices on what to do next. Below is the link to my reddit post and would appreciate any input on the situation.
https://reddit.com/r/... -
Meanwhile in a parallel universe composer update runs faster than the speed at which universe expands.
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PC-Lint is such a useless piece of shit! Tons of warnings with no actual benefit. The obvious motivation behind this crap was to throw as many warnings as this cheap sucker can even generate with no effort to minimise false positives. Typical snakeoil shit, reminds me of ZoneAlarm back then which reported every ping as "attack" just to fool the clueless into buying. Meanwhile, the actual bugs that sophisticated tools can find pass unnoticed through PC-Lint.
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When sales guys and clients meet up after a successful project, meanwhile the guys that actually did it all are non existent.
https://youtu.be/YMmzc_WhUmQ -
Tonight begins the holiest day of the year for Jews, Yom Kippur. I'm about to embark on a 25 hour fast, no food, no water. I'll be in a prayer house for 15+ hours, literally begging God to let me live for another year.
Meanwhile, I'm set back in my classes 150+ hours of potential work time thanks to all the Jewish holidays this month. Sukkot, Shemini Atzeret, Simchat Torah, and Rosh Hashanah.
Being Jewish is fun T_T10 -
Why is working with C# and .NET Core great again?
All jobs I see require knowledge of .NET Core 8. Meanwhile jobs at Microsoft require knowledge and experience with Java.3 -
'With the most modern system on the market'
This is part of email I got from CEO of big company.
Meanwhile a college how sits few desk ahead of me, opens Turbo Pascal IDE to work on that (the most modern) system.3 -
Wherein I bait reddit into over 70k views with some bullshit about AI:
https://reddit.com/r/Futurology/...
I almost wonder if their viewcount/usercount is real.
The model is real, my consultant background is not.5 -
Man it really pisses me off when people try to manage shit by keeping all the windows on the same desktop, meanwhile i create a new desktop for every app i open.7
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I’m goin nuts here. I’m trying to build a website and everytime i think i’m finished the designer adds a little change or an extra page. Meanwhile projectmanager is asking if we can finish asap. Fuuuuuckofffff6
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Anyone that has careless coworkers on a common project? Like my stuff is ready, working and tested, meanwhile many are still scratching their heads on why their code doesn't work.
//we are a group of internship workers2 -
Tiktok hearing. What a shitshow and blame game. These idiots who don't produce anything crying foul, meanwhile facebook, instagram, google, bing does the exact same thing.
It was a predetermined kangaroo court. Reflects of the US decline. And yeah idiots who also don't build anything will complain about tiktok without understanding anything.13 -
Mother tells me my dad was slightly disappointed that I didn't become an optician. He passes away in my first semester so I never got to ask him.
She meanwhile is rather supportive but the older uncles etc think I am wasting my brain using the PC for so many hours.
Little brother learned some R by himself for courses and thinks it's a badass profession from what I see. -
My client meeting was cancelled because of the snow, and the rescheduled meeting is in a weeks time. Meanwhile I have about two quid to my name. What sort of a project can I do that will take me less than a day or two and pay out instantly?5
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Waterfall.
I string dislike the waterfall methodology and much prefer agile or scrum. And it's incredibly difficult that upper management only understands waterfall while claiming to know agile.
Meanwhile they want things completed by deadlines that are only possible with an agile approach. So you have a mishmash of upper management running waterfall with impossible deadlines and developers trying to meet those deadlines running in agile.
Anyone else have this problem? -
So, on top of all my rants from the past... i just noticed that new coworkers, the ones that are just starting in our company are getting brand new macbooks.
Meanwhile i am frustrating the fuck out of my slow Windows machine that i rebooted twice today because it didnt do shit anymore.
I am fucking done here! -
Whenever I open my laptop, my cat jumps, sits on the keyboard and does not move.
Meanwhile, my dog stays busy with his bone *_*6 -
Aaaaand another rejection. Without a reason. And only after i asked about the status. I guess if i didnt ask, i wasnt told in the first place. Bastards. Meanwhile i’m kinda broke now. There goes my savings!4
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We devs are installing adblockers. Meanwhile, Google shareholders are clicking all ads to increase Google's revenue...
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Migrating from opengl to vulkan. In the meanwhile, DevRant, let's talk about Balmers Peak !
Share your stories!3 -
finishing existing projects, resurrecting abandoned projects with dev friends from uni (where we had actual customers calling us and saying they wanna pay us, but we are idiots and couldn't come up with effective pricing)
meanwhile learn proper JS (and node.js, also getting from noob to pro in vue.js/vuex and react/redux)
also getting better in linux server management -
Almost out of High School here in Italy, and about to go to University
In the meanwhile I'd want to gain some money using my programming skills... How should I start?5 -
I hate these hipster people who think because they write python they don't need to write any tests. Meanwhile the same people who bashes bash scripts ... GNAAAA1
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Two weeks after being told I’ve got the job I still don’t actually have the actual offer or info on what team I would be joining / role I will be doing.
😡
Meanwhile recruiters are hounding me and other places are interested. Ffs7 -
Me and my friend are trying to come up with a solution for locust problem..
I decided to make a locust detector using computer vision and he'll make a laser shooter.
Meanwhile in Pakistan they simply paid people to catch locusts and turned them to chicken food.
CS really messed up our ability to think simply.6 -
Isn't it just great when there have been unrealistic deadlines chasing you and you keep missing, every day, for over a year?
Meanwhile this guy on the other team just talks on phone all day long for personal matters, no giving a shit to progress.
Yeah I know it's none of my business. But just get the fuck off my face. The mumbling is so annoying.
And he's also that guy I keep bitching about because of his desk finger drumming and keyboard smashing. -
Why is apple so uncooperative?! Just tried to add their event to my google calendar and guess what, they haven't put any effort to make it easy.
Meanwhile, Microsoft has made it lot more easier not just on google calendar but even on Yahoo's.
Little things like this speak a lot about the company and their culture.4 -
Auto-healing deployments are great until your deployment fails because it can't handle sending a large number of push notifications (triggered by a message on a pub/sub topic that starts being read from on startup)...so restarts, tries to send them again, fails, restarts, etc...and meanwhile a few tens of thousands of users are getting spammed by notifications 😱5
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Im put on this project.. But i don’t feel taken seriously.
Lead dev says: go make some html templates. Meanwhile, he is building the exact same thing in the cms.
Right, so what is my work worth then? Nothing -
I hate General Ed subjects so much.
They waste my time to no end because I hate them and I procrastinate to study them. Meanwhile, I'm not coding because it makes me guilty that I'm focusing on college studies.
Gosh!
#RemoveGenEd4 -
Some Frenchmen write this research. It names "cibai"
Meanwhile Malaysian and Singapore are confused.
Btw cibai means... Something ..... Bad ... (Not convenient to explain here , but here's the link
https://ms.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cibai
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My best mentoring experience was the teacher that taught me puppet. The way he explained it, the way he walked you through a very intense course of three days consecutive puppet knowlegde rammed into your head...and still manage to actually learn almost all of it. Great attitude, and meanwhile, he is a esteemed collegue and friend...
Without you Johan, i would not be an independent entrepreneur and making bank at my current client
Johan the white, to me one of the greatest sysadmins ever -
!rant
Today i had my first class of this semester. Meanwhile, there was a small party on campus. I was having math class "listening" a playlist with "Stayin' Alive" and "I Will Survive".
Best soundtrack to my class :D5 -
I have a wet dream:
Being armed with a spiked bat in a closed room with angular team.
Either this or see them slowly die of cancer day by day and chuckle in front of their death bed eating chips and watching netflix to not get too bored meanwhile. -
Your website is slow. Your icons don’t show immediately. Says one boss to the other. Meanwhile i’ve spend already days on this issue am aware of it since 12 motnhs. But hey, since it’s the boss, let me just check one more time and make sure this is more about someones internet connection then the loading speed of the website.
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listening to music of a random rock list on youtube.. meanwhile, my project is compiling and suddenly a romantic 80s song started playing!!
fuck i was so inspired!! -
Every programming tutorial:
Smh Smh(string smh)
{
String smh;
Smh smh;
Smh(string smh){this.smh = smh;}
Smh smH = new Smh(smh);
SmH = Smh.smh(smh);
return Smh(smh: smh);
}
This code doesn’t make any sense but the point is… WHY???
Meanwhile, they might say “I could name this something else but I’ll just give it the same fucking name” -
all their petty torturous crap does is get them beaten and killed jn the long run. meanwhile their 'security' system keeps them trapped. hurray.
-
Your eyelashes: yep, decent, almost look like they’re really there, although almost nonexistent without mascara, but you got used to it
Meanwhile my eyelashes:
4 -
Last week was crazy. Major clients needed attention and we don’t have enough developers. How can someone not start to make mistakes.
Meanwhile mr manager runs off like he’s outta here and blaming us. Goddammit1 -
Meanwhile in OS X: Pressing alt-space gives you a nbsp, not a normal space character. Happens quite easily after a pipe on my layout. Just suck in the pain of that syntax error.
-
Dumb asshole lays a half smoked joint near me
Got up threw that shit away
Not trying to get arrested
Meanwhile accomplice wanders out again -
I feel many people suffer from this same problem.
Meanwhile why the fuck would this not work in a javascript class or am I getting my languages mixed up ?
Will know soon enough.
6 -
My favorite thing is when I had a debate before, won, decision made, all good, then other people do whatever they want, new people get involved, and suddenly I'm having to argue the exact same things over again from scratch. Meanwhile others just do what they want.
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This person has never heard of the saying that there is no 'I' in team. He just focuses on the code not communicating whatsoever. F*CKtard
Meanwhile i'm trying to fix everything that broke down since yesterday 00:00.
Meanwhile other coworkers are also screaming their project is on fire...
should i quit?2 -
Just finished creating a new git repository for my modules (we're using microservices)
Guess what, i misconfigured the socketmaster and the apps port
So the socketmaster run on :9000 meanwhile my apps run on :8888
Spend a good 1 hour to find that problem
#deploymentIsCrazyThings -
Holy fuck for me Mercedes episode 1 where the dysfunction is real but the descriptions of simple programs planted on someone’s computer make a delete command or patches email client look like the work of a god
And Omfg meanwhile
Why am I watching this ? -
!dev
This is a follow-up to a previous rant: https://devrant.com/rants/1303341
I found out that when I turn on the sink faucet on hot and let that running for a minute, I can shower with decent-ish temperatures again 🤔
... meanwhile even the cold water setting yields hot water because of the temperatures outside. -
Oh he will do the same thing heh
I miss the 20th century
Mainly just because the redo of everything sucks so hard and seems to be missing substance
"We" need to suck more and stop saturating everything with their gay ass shit and meanwhile the others need to learn to see something as sacred or it will be another terrible cyclic years
Told them so15 -
There's a game to get some earning if someone wants to check it out this is the link:
https://goo.gl/QojLgQ
Also if you want to be in my team use this code when signing in:
dbrqrj5
Let's see how it goes, some friends had been paid this week, I'll see if I can get some screenshot of them, meanwhile get into the game LOL2 -
C++ Dev Learning Python : Have some ice-cream darling.😁
Python Dev learning C++ : Why darling why ! 😮
Meanwhile Darling - 🙄3 -
Russia has the better integration of multicultural society than any nations. Buddhism, Muslim and orthodox christianity. Meanwhile western society is trying to fuck kids as their new religion12
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This generation needs another hugh Heffner and the worst garbage needs removed off the internet's
Meanwhile cleaning everything else up makes sense and organization of things to something other than "plant smelly guy who never wipes his ass library" seriously
Why are people infatuated with the underbelly of an otherwise formerly healthy society?
Make the dream the reality and the exaggeration the truth in the best ways jesus1
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