A tcp packet walks in to a bar and says “I want a beer”, barman says “you want a beer?” and tcp packet says “yes, a beer” .

In high society, TCP is more welcome than UDP. At least it knows a proper handshake.

A bunch of TCP packets go into a bar, until it’s overcrowded. The next day, half as many go in.

A bunch of TCP packets walk into a bar. The bartender says, “Hang on just a second, I need to close the window.”

When I try to send SYNs to chicks, I don’t get any ACKs. Just FINs and RSTs.

IP packet with TTL=1 arrives at bar. Bartender: “Sorry, can’t let you leave…and you don’t get any beer either…” 

The worst part about token ring jokes is that if someone starts telling one while you are telling yours, all joking stops.

The great thing about TCP jokes is that you always get them.

The problem with TCP jokes is that people keep retelling them slower until you get them.

I would tell some UDP jokes too but I never know if anyone gets them

The best thing about UDP jokes is that I don’t care if you get them or not.

I had a funny UDP joke to tell, but I lost it somewhere...

The sad thing about IPv6 jokes is that almost no one understands them and no one is using them yet.

I tried to come up with an IPv4 joke, but the good ones were all already exhausted.

A DHCP packet walks into a bar and asks for a beer. Bartender says: “here, but I’ll need that back in an hour!

DHCP jokes only work when there is only one person telling them

The worst part of SSH jokes is that, even when they're not funny, you suck it up and just pretend they were anyway.

The problem with token ring jokes is you need to wait your turn to laugh

I’d make a joke about UDP, but I don’t know if anyone’s actually listening…

Someones keyboard just stopped working in my job.
They called the helpdesk and i told them to unplug the keyboard from the back of the PC and try a different usb port before i send them down a new keyboard.
Their reply?

‘How am i meant to do that? I mean... *laughs* I didn’t go to college for this kind of stuff. I know you did but you need to explain it in English for me instead of using technical terms.’

....

So i had to describe what a USB looks like, and tell her how to follow the (only) skinny black cable she has on her desk, down the back of the desk and into the PC. She got overwhelmed by this cable being the same colour as the thicker VGA cable, so ended up unplugging everything!
Its fine though, as when she plugged them all back in, everything was back working.
She finished the call by saying:

“Like, i know how to use a computer but I just don’t understand all this technical mumbo jumbo, like USB’s and stuff? How should i know about that?”

...

I sincerely think interviews need to have just 5 minutes dedicated to the person showing that they know what a bloody USB is!!, can turn on/off a PC, open outlook, and follow basic instructions.

Ugh I work with idiots 😢

I grinded out 8k lines of code in four weeks, but don't consiter myself a programmer.

I can sit down at a computer and in under five minutes have all of the passwords saved to a USB, and the OS is rendered unusable, but I don't consiter myself a hacker.

I can make great high quality artwork, but don't call myself an artist.

I got 2k ++ in 16 days, but have yet to order my stickers because I don't feel like i've earned them.

But most impressively of all, I can fool everyone around me into thinking I'm happy. Even though I'm unsure I can even feel it.

..Bit of a darker rant, but some things need to be said.

Part of my job involves speaking with users on the phone and I really don’t mind it except for THESE PEOPLE:

Me: Hi! XYZ Co. this is Tawzer!
Them: Hi Tawzer this is blah blah I need help with the website I just can’t figure it out!
Me: Okay! Let me ju-
Them: Yeah you know I’ve been struggling for hours with it I really don’t have time for this.
Me: Oh I imagine! What’s your-
Them: Well I was gonna try and get everything done today by 3 but with all of this tech stuff going wrong I just don’t know...
Me: That sounds frustrating, can i get your-
Them: Is this going to take long??
Me: Nope! I just need to know your-
Them: like I said I just really don’t have time for this!
Me: ........ What’s your-
Them: well I-
Me: WHAT’S YOUR USERNAME
Them: Uh I don’t know can you look me up? I didn’t know I’d need that.
Me: 👩🏻‍💻

Recruiter: This is a 100% remote position

Dev: Good! That’s what I’m looking for.

Recruiter: But the company does require you to come into the office “on occasion”

Dev: I live 5 hours away from your office so that would be not a good fit

Recruiter: And once covid is over the ability to work remotely will be getting reconsidered. You’ll likely need to move cities in order to continue your employment with them.

Dev: Yeah I’m looking for 100% remote work

Recruit: This is 100% remote! Just with the need to come into the office sometimes now and potentially more later.

Dev: …

Client : your design is not cool. See this ^
*showed me some pretty neat designs pattern*

Me: which type do you want for your application.?

Client : All are pretty cool. Isn't it?

Me : Yes. But you do not need all of them. Right?

Client : Yes.

Me : So, which one.

Client : I'm confused But, this will do.

Me : Sure?

Client : Yes, very much.

After 3 days.

Client : you know what, earlier one was simple one but, best one. Easy to understand. This is (new design) making it complex. I need previous one.

Me : (I knew you'll say that, a**hole.) Just go to setting and select theme section to earlier version.

Client : thank you man.

Me : (You are red listed in my book you a**hole. Say anything else to add/edit and then see.) You are welcome.

Working with a radio chip we selected because it had built-in encryption. Cannot make the encryption work, thus in contact with the manufacturer:
"- I cannot make the encryption work, it's like the chip doesn't want to take a key.
- which key do you use?
- does it matter?
- well yes, you can't just use any key!
- why not?
- you need to get an approved key from us.
- why is that?
- so that your competitors can't read your data!
- ...
- ...
- so the way to get working keys is to get them from you?
- of course!
- keys are 256 bits. Can we potentially use all of them?
- OF COURSE NOT!
- how many can we get from you?
- one! We reserve it from your company.
- are you telling me that all units within a company will need to have the exact same encryption key?
- yes!
- so anyone with our product could eavesdrop another same product?
- well yes, but it's all within your own products.
- ...
- ...
- that's not how encryption is supposed to work.
- but it's safe, your competitors cannot eavesdrop!
- I'm out of here."
(We finally found a satisfactory work-around, but i am still pissed at them)

Dear Chrome,

I know it's ridiculous to have 50+ tabs open, but please - pretty please - just make it work for me. 300 MB/tab is starting to make Windows mad.

No, I will not close them. I might need that page I opened 4 months ago and was too lazy to bookmark.

Your abusive friend,

-chappjc

Them: Root, you take too long to get tickets out. You only have a few simple ones. You really need to rebuild your reputation.

Also them: Hey, could you revisit this ticket? Could you help ____ with this other ticket? Hey Root, how do you do this? Root, someone had a suggestion on one of your tickets; could you implement that by EoD? Hey Root, i didn't read your ticket notes; how do you test it? Hey, could you revisit this ticket for the fourth time and remove some whitespace? Hey Root, someone has non-blocking code review comments you need to address before we can release the ticket. Hey Root, we want to expand that ticket scope by 5-6 times; still labeled a trivial feature though.

Also them: Super easy ticket for you. Make sure you talk with teams A, B, C, D, E and get their input on the ticket, talk with ____ and ____ and ____ about it, find a solution that makes them all happy and solves the problem too, then be sure to demo it with everyone afterward. Super easy; shouldn't take you more than a couple days. Oh, and half of them are on vacation.

Also them: Hey, that high-priority ticket you finished months ago that we ignored? Yeah, you need to rewrite it by tomorrow. Also, you need to demo it with our guy in India, who's also on vacation. Yes, tomorrow is the last day. (The next day:) You rewrote it, but weren't able to schedule the demo? Now you've missed the release! It's even later! This reflects very poorly on you.

Also them: Perfect is the enemy of good; be more like the seniors who release partially-broken code quickly.

Also them: Here's an non-trivial extreme edgecase you might not have covered. Oh, it would have taken too much time and that's why you didn't do it? Jeez, how can you release such incomplete code?

Also them: Yeah, that ticket sat in code review for five months because we didn't know it was high-priority, despite you telling us. It's still kinda your fault, though.

Also them: You need to analyze traffic data to find patterns and figure out why this problem is happening. I know you pushed the fix for it 8 months ago, and I said it was really solid, but the code is too complex so I won't release it. Yeah I know it's just a debounce with status polling and retrying. Too complex for me to understand. Figure out what the problem is, see if another company has this same problem, and how they fixed it.

-------------

Yep. I'm so terrible for not getting these tickets out, like wow. Worst dev ever. Much shame.

LF work, PST.

Recruiter: I see you got a good degree, however, what were your high school results (A-levels)?

Me: why would you need them?
(they were average, but I tell the recruiter)

Recruiter: Oh, so you were pretty lucky to get a good degree.

Me: No... I worked really hard for it.

Recruiter: Anyway, my client only deals with people who got high grades in high school.

What the fuckkkkkkk?

#stopthismadness

$ rant --not-a-rant

I made it guys

I know this might not be a rant but Im sure nobody will understand this better than my fellow ranters/devs

Four years ago (16yo) I learned about a software development company in my city and Ive been wanting to.work for them ever since, at first I couldnt because I need half college credits, after because I landed a way more comprehensive job, but now I start on monday. The thing is few people have landed a dev job there as students because of what they ask but I MADE IT.

Thanks for reading this far.

I always use brackets for clarity even if there is only one statement inside them

if (boolean){
function ();
}

Cus it's so much easier to read, and if I need to add statements after the if I don't need to remember to add brackets. Plus the else may need brackets and an if with no brackets but an else with brackets looks awful.

It's a Sunday, playing around with code/servers/config stuffs and decided to give Arch another try! Downloaded Apricity OS (Yes, I still love beautiful interfaces I don't have to fully configure), realized I didn't have any spare discs so went looking for a USB flash drive.

Seriously. Those FUCKERS are always around when you don't need them.
But ohhhhh, the FUCKING SECOND YOU NEED THEM, THEY ARE NO-FUCKING-WHERE TO BE MOTHERFUCKING FOUND.

Well, there goes my FUCKING plans for today.

got a mail 10 minutes after I finished a 10h shift that my contract won't be refreshed after 4 years ripping my ass off for this fucked up organization. apparently not because of lack of competence but of personal reasons. that's what you get for not being a sheep and having an opinion. my (ex)boss didn't even have the balls to say it to my face.
fuck them! I don't need people like that around me - neither in my spare time nor at work - and I wish them all the worst.
happy holidays motherfuckers!

I had an intern in for VBA programming on day one they realized that they were in need of an android dev, so the boss came to me and asked if I had any experience with android. I replied with yes a little, I had begun multiple projects but never finished only one of them. After 4 weeks of developing I presented my progress a pretty ugly but working app, after the meeting the boss told me that a other team of devs were building the same app but didn't made any progress in 1.5 years.
Ps: sry 4 my English.

Alright, the blog seems to be running again and its not breaking yet which is a good sign :P.

Although nothing has changed on the front end yet, the backend has been partly rewritten to be more efficient and of course, post sorting based on posting date!

I'm aware of most of the front end issues so no need to tell me all of them again, I'll look at that tomorrow as I need sleep right now :(

If you'd find any bugs/security issues, please, don't exploit them but report them instead! I take security very seriously and will try to patch any security bug as soon as I can :)

Not really a bug, but once I tried to learn building function ajax per table asynchronously instead of calling all of them at once. Spend like couple of hours of trial of error. It wasn’t needed at the time, but suddenly I need to fetch something separately because of a new feature. Just write a couple and line it’s done

Email subject: Urgent need for developers!

Email body: We found you in our database, and think you're a match for this position! Requires 5+ years of C++ experience

Apparently C# == C++. Good luck finding an appropriate candidate, buddy. I was tempted to send them an email pointing out their error, but I'm not too good with "pointers"

Got rejected by a company in Italy because in order to work for them remotely apparently I need to have Italian VISA. Tried to reason with them that I'm an EU citizen and I don't need a VISA but they wouldn't budge. Its either VISA or ASTALAVISTA

From my last job interview (which I got hired btw)

Lead developer: "so we see quite a lot of frameworks that you listed for php, Laravel,cakephp, codeigniter, we really like the idea of them but have not had the opportunity to use them since as you might know by know our pages run over basic and small scripts, you also listed some cool front end frameworks, react looks amazing and I do have somr experience. Tell me, if given the choice, which framework would you use for php?"

Me: Really depends on the project, but the ones that you have described previously seem that they would not really benefit from them, we should not use them if they are overkill or will not expand to anything else on the future"

Him: "But given the choice?"

Me: my own framework, completed it a couple of days ago, it has its own routing system and everything made by yours truly, used it before on some projects in which the developers work with it with no need to ask me about stuff, the documentation is sound and the code rather simple. Php is and can really be all you need depending on what we are talking about."

Him: **stands up, moves closer to me and fist bumps**
"All right now moving on, i was wondering abouy redux, what are the benefits of..."

Walked out of there like a boss, it got interesting when we started talking about Lisp, apparently they are interested in putting some Clojure to test in small things since they want to learn new things and apply them. Yup, this gon b good!!

I'd like to tell a story about a friend I once knew. She was good at her job, but only her job. People loved her so much, but when the people got interested in things other than her job, they took her with them. She was forced to do things she couldn't do as well, and all because people couldn't change. She feels overused, overworked, and she still tries to keep her head up. People need to stop using her.

#KeepJavaScriptOnTheWeb

Client: I need a blog with 3 categories.

Designer: cool, let's have every post teaser in the home look diferent depending on the category.

Me (Dev): Ok...

Client: *sees actual design with different looking posts depending on category* I like it! Let's go!

Me: *codes the site*

Client: It's cool but in the home the posts look different... Could we make them look the same?

Me:...

You shouldn't look for people with 10 years experience. You shouldn't exclude them but the people w/o experience need experience anyways and maybe they bring something fresh to your tables..

I know "designers" who would say they have 10+y.e. but I mean they design websites that to this day, use table layout and oldish looking design language.. (ofc there are examples that state the opposite!)

Measuring people by their years with experience is just silly..

By not having them. Seriously, every job I had was more than average paying and I was overqualified for the tasks. Sure I didn’t develop oh-so-important software but I never had to do overtime, lose sleep because of workplace difficulties.

Pick your fights well. This profession is unfair. No need to endanger yourself for idealism.

!dev but definitely rant

Here's a fucking thought:
How is holding women over different standards at events and (non-physical) competitions (hackathons especially, somehow) NOT widely considered sexist? I don't even mean towards men - yes, of course.
But also towards women: By preferring their results in some competitions in order to "support them", you implicitly degrade them to be small children in need for praise. You imply that you expect them to perform worse. By "women-first" PR bullshit, you do what you claim to be against. Fuck you.

Why can't we just hold everyone to the same fucking standards? Women can be just as good in tech as men, when interested. I would even make a point that these different standards hold back women from trying to get into any tech-related career.

A client literally just told us "I don't wanna be telling you what I want / require / need. I just want you to give me the best you got."

Like wtf.

The worst thing is they've got but loads of money so we really have to take them serious. They were born rich and probably had a servant as a child who did everything for them without them asking to, and they'll continue to get away with it because they'll continue to be rich and there'll be people like us trying to kiss their ass for some of that money. I hate myself for doing it. They want a system to basically spy on their customers, and I'm a huge advocate of privacy, but I'll still do it for the money. Fuck this world.

I am actually consider buying a rubber duck from devrant

To support them but mostly

when I need help, pretend that using the duck don't work so I need another rubbr duck and ask a co-worker to help me

yeah I'm a bitch

Seriously? Javascript is the best?Javascript is the future?

Dont get me wrong. I have to use angularjs and nodejs in my work so I am quiet familiar with them. Js csn be usefull and make things easier and simpler but it comes with a price... You can do someting in third amount of effort but you have to debug three times more. Yes you can use typescript but thats not an option always. What about single threaded design yes you can use callback and promises but really? Thats the way it is should be working? And what about that if you need one functionality than you dowbload a module but with that you are started to depend from other 737373737 packages.

I am just simply not getting this hype around JS.

The cleaning lady

Yeah, I should not be at work this late, but it happenes from time to time..
Anyhow, she still doesn't know where the switches for each light are, so whenever she comes, lights start to flicker on off on off... Yeah, lightshow baby!! //read this in austin powers voice
I fear for people with epilepsy.. Yeah, I get it, push and toggle switches are mixed in pannel, but we do have a schema for each of them..ofc she doesn't use it..

And every goddamn time if I work later than when she leaves, she disturbes me to ask if I will turn off the lights when I leave.. NOoOooo, I will leave them on like an asshole.. :/ I once even wrote on the whiteboard in bigg letters 'yes, I will turn of the lights when I leave' and left it there for some days... coworkers were all puzzled/amused when they saw it.. //I know, shitty attitude on my part too, but I've repeated myself a dozen times already.. + I always turn off lights she actually manages to switch on and leave them like that, even the ones not in my part of office

And when she vacuums..well.. I usually get up and go on a cigarette break to give her space so she can do her job around my desk.. but she insists that I am not in her way and I don't need to leave... Well I prefer not to be proded and poked with the hose, thank you..

So yeah, fun times... O.o especially if working late due to some production fuckups I need to fix ASAP.. :/

Me: I need more programmers for the project.
Boss: You have 4 people, that's enough.
Me: I have 3 juniors taking 50% of time of a senior (me) contributing less than a medior and rest of my time goes to managing project. I know that in 6 months time invested in them will start paying off, but right now I need more people. Also I don't have me, by that logic, cleaning lady comes to the office every day and we couldn't work witout her, so there's 5 people, at least.
Boss: You'll manage.
Inner me: I would if I was working 8 hours as programmer without tutoring and managing.
Me: Sigh.

Why management has such orgasmic attachment to numbers?

Example 1.
Mngr: split this into tasks
Me: done
Mngr: now estimate these tasks
Me: can't. Team is new and codebase is unknown. Any estimations would be subjected to huge error and I will not commit to anything if I'm not at least partially sure.
Mngr: but we need some timeline
Me: so give it yourself. I'm not doing it

Example 2.
Mngr: we need to measure how your knowledge sharing sessions impacts our organisation
Me: how?
Mngr: e.g. amount of bugs lessen in next quarter
Me: bugs can go up and down because of hundred other reasons. Also, knowledge sharing is just to inspire people, it's up to them if they keep educating and growing. Me sharing knowledge 1h per week, I can't guarantee they will understand and apply this new knowledge.
Mngr: but we need to measure it somehow, otherwise it is useless.
Me: <speechless facepalm frustrated>

I shut down my laptop at 1630. After that, I officially no longer give a shit until tomorrow morning. My phone has Slack and Outlook, but neither is allowed to even run in the background. They're there for when I need them, not for when someone a work needs me.

!Rant

Ok... So I've just received 2 lots of 2u Dell PowerEdge 2950s , 6x2TB WD Greens, 6x assorted Seagate drives (misc size) .

Totally. Fucking. Free.

A friend at work use to self host, and doesn't need them anymore , I offered to buy but he wouldn't have it! Friends are the best!

My team are so needy and incapable of figuring anything out independently that I've basically not got any of my sprint tasks done so far. So today I told them that I was working from home for a day to actually get done work done, but I'm on Slack if they really need me.

The only observable difference now is that instead of just bugging me, they start every conversation with, "sorry, I know you're busy, but..."

Completely 100% not dev related.

But really I need the opinion of smarter people. Tell me how I don't make fun of the way people look, talk down on others regardless of <whatever>. Try to be as nice as possible to everyone, but the moment I say that I am not attracted to overweight people (women in my case since I am a heterosexual male) am I suddenly fatphobic and hate fat people. First of, phobia means fear, and I can assure people that fat people don't trigger any fear response from my end.
Nor do I disregard them as humans just cuz of them extra kilos. But suddenly because I explain how I can't be sexually attracted to someone that is overweight am I fatphobic?

This shit baffles me.

Fuck this
I get to work with API where you CAN authenticate with username/password and get a token

But you CAN'T get user info from token (auth response contains ONLY token)

So what I have to do:

1. Get token

2. Request ALL FUCKING USERS and load them into my DB

3. Search through local DB by username and, yeah, here I go

Now I need to have a cron job to update user DB 1/2 times per day

I can't think of ANY reason not to allow this

Management wants weekly update meetings on some "super important" work. Fine.

But for the past 8 weeks they've been late to the meeting or moved it or cancelled it completely. They keep telling me if I need help, let them know and they will get me the help I need no questions asked.

The one time I ask for help they have done literally nothing.

Glad it is so important to them.

I just had the most surreal email discussion I think I've ever had...

I spent over two hours going back-and-forth over email with an enterprise DBA, trying to convince them I needed a primary key for a table. They created the table without a primary key (or any unique constraints... or indexes... but that's another discussion). I asked them to add one. Then had to justify why.

If you ever find yourself justifying why you need a primary key on a table in an RDBMS, that's the day you find yourself asking "is this real life?"

I want the last two hours of my life back. And a handful of Advil.

It's starting again. I can feel it.

You had a decent job, but you had to think otherwise. Then you had to go to that coffee shop tell some people you're the fucking bee's knees, didn't you?

Well, you know that's how the band plays.

Yeah, but now you'll have to live up to the hype, my friend. And you know pretty well that the pocketknife on your belt won't cut it anymore.

I can always learn as I go...

Sure you can. Except this time stakes are higher. They'll be expecting you to deliver on all your bloody greatness. They'll be relying on you. Not only them, but also the person who chose to be with you. And you know you're not enough, for neither of them. Now you'll fuck it up and let all those people down.

But I could build things little by little, lay out a solid groundwork and build up from that. Just like that other time when...

Of course you can. But can you make beautiful sparkly things? Can you make them sexy?

No... But I can make them resilient. I can follow best practices and intelligent design patterns.

Right. Cause design patterns win contests and prizes. Sure.

Well, it'll make things work better. And then when someone else comes along...

They'll say your work smells and let everybody know how it should've been done, because they need to prove themselves. You know that's what people do.

But that's just not fair! Solid work is solid work!

And a fraud is still a fraud. And that's what you are.

So we are implementing a big and very complete localization management system on my company. The system has great features, indeed, but:

1. We cannot use the browser back button, because it is js and it appears no one cared about it (I am not a js Dev, but you can UAE the back button on my site that has js);

2. It is very customizable, but not intuitive. So you have one million options and you never know where to change what you need;

3. It has a save button everywhere, but most options are saved automatically, so you never know when you need to save. Actually, people from the webapp company use the save button as refresh, once we cannot use the browser refresh button;

4. Combo boxes load the elements while you scroll them, so to scroll to the bottom, you need to keep scrolling several times, waiting it to load the elements;

5. It does not allow you to open more than one tab of it at the same time. So if you need to see more than one information from different items, you need to navigate and wait the loading times to see what you need;

6. Emails are not sent in a different thread. So each action that send emails you need to keep waiting until the emails are sent (sometimes there are several emails sent in one action) to continue using it;

7. They not only store and send back your password by email if you loose it, but, as admin, if I click the button to send the user password to him/her, it keeps a copy of the email with the user password in my sent items;

8. To be able to send emails (they are really necessary), I need to include my SMTP info with login and password. So they have not only the system password saved, but everyone email login and password as well.

I am sure there is more, but I can't remember for now, and we are still trying to figure it out how to back our data, as it appears the only possible backup is their own.

Last week one of my clients asked me to visit their HQ to take a look at some report tool that has stopped to generate reports. This tool was not made by me, it has zero documentation, but WTH, I can take a look.
So I went to the HQ. When a guy that has called me told me that someone else will be here any second to talk to me, I began to be a little suspicius.
It turned out they want a new app. Not going into detail something that will read bar codes, do some stuff in a database, generate some reports etc. And he need it made in 2 weeks. I have reminded him I am involved in another project that I need to deliver in a month, and it is virutally impossible for me to develop what they want in this time. I offered them that maybe we should hire a team or at least another developer. Hi nodded and ignored what I've said. Well, he said we have maybe 2 weeks more, but that's it. Ok..
So, while working on the other project wich ramained a priority for me, I've began to do some thinking, some research on how to deliver what they want as fast as possible.
Today morning I went to the HQ again to finally take care of that report tool. But never mind that, I also had a chance to talk about the new app. So we made some Agile, wrote down epics, stories, talked about hardware etc. After two hours, it turned out, that more than this bardcode reading app the need something else! Barcode reading yes, but even more they need a scheduler for their emloyees, custom functionalities, plus some HR tools, other fancy stuff. But they don't even have a full concept yet. And it needs to be done until end of the month (9 days), maybe two weeks later.
So again I told them I will not be able to deliver this in set timeframe. That possibly we need to hire someone and even then it's questionable if this will be possible given all circumstances, time needed test, to deploy (in 14 diffrent locations all over the country). Actually if I had all software ready today the deployment, tests, training... So I offered that maybe we can figure out some temporary solution based on third party software.
At this point my requests and suggestions have been ignored again. Sadly my contract with them states I can not pass this to someone else, it all have to go trough them. And tehy don't want to spend extra money (??) etc.
Also from what I understand, this whole company's (~1000 employees) be or not to be can be affected by this project.
Sometimes I just don't understand business.

Got a few Jira tickets reassigned to me because the dev who was supposed to work on them got stuck on another project. It's fine, that happens.

I open the tickets. No descriptions for all of them. No screenshots for those reported as bugs, nor any replication steps. No attached test cases or, well, ANY useful information.

I talk to our BA, he says that all information I need are in OTHER tickets on ANOTHER BOARD that business manages but I DON'T HAVE ACCESS TO. Honestly, these shitfucks could've just done simple copy/paste. But nooooo...

So I reassign all the tickets back to their original reporters (business testers) with comments requesting more information.

It's been a week. Now I have no idea what to put in my time sheet.

Recruiter: I have an open position for lead DevSecOps role.

Me: Tell me more

Recruiter: It’s an AI company , where the AI is making clinical medical decisions. It’s really cool. They need somebody to help them pass government audits and you’d be solely responsible for the systems security, AWS accounts, and also all of DevOps, which they’ve never heard of before but I told them they needed and they though it was cool.

Also, they use AWS but not sure what services inside AWS, they think it’s AWS storage and AWS servers or something like that .

Me: That’s a big hell no. 👎 Got any other positions though ?

So I decided to get a master degree at my capital city (I got my first degree from my small hometown), and decided to get a job as a junior developers. I tried for an easier job like starbucks or something but apparently all of them turn me down as soon as they asked “What major you graduated from ?”

Never though I would start a career in software developing. Any tips I need to know about this job? (I can actually code quite well and my class starts at night)

Unpopular opinion: I find most office gimmicks which have been popularized by FAANG companies are stupid.
I don’t care about pool tables/videogames/nerf guns, I find these things fun but I’m not 9 therefore I don’t need them at my workplace, I can take care of myself so I don’t need mindfulness seminaries, if I get interested by the topic I’m able to provide myself books or seminaries and don’t get me with the salary I get every month and don’t get me started about the trend of office dogs: most dogs needs a lot of attention and are high energy animals, that’s not what I would need around me when I’m making an urgent bug fix.
Luckily my company hasn’t got into this shit and understands which all an adult professional needs is “just” a good pay and a good work environment.

My CEO uncle: "anyone can program."

A quote from when we were discussing strategy for my sit down with the CEO of a company I was applying at (FYI, his advice was to research the company, be familiar with their long term strategies and such). I get that there's no need to prove my technical prowess to a business exec, but it isn't because "anyone can program."

I mean, sure, in a philosophical sense, anybody has the capacity to learn. But developers aren't a fungible asset. Treating them as such leads to ruin.

So, my last post was about dual booting to Linux. I haven't had problems with Windows. However, after an apart partial update to the Creaters version, I can't open anything without an error that says "ceip.exe was unable to start correctly (0xc0000142)." I can't even run command prompt.

I have nothing on my PC that I can't replace (everything is backed up in at least two places) other than the programs I need for work. I can get them on Monday. But I'm on call the rest of today and tomorrow. And i need them because they help me test system health.

Trying to run the update again to see if I can repair it that way, otherwise, any suggestions for a temporary fix? Thinking my switch to Linux is sooner than I thought, but I have to be able to work.

It's sometimes good I work remotely from the rest of my team.... So other can't see how pissed I'm while chatting with them...

Just did an afternoon basically hand holding someone... And well this is the 3rd day... And the original instructions I gave them was: here's the problem, here the code fix, now you need to change it for the other 10 APIs it affects (OS migration).

I have another problem I need to figure out....

Yes I could do it all myself and it would be faster but I don't want to be the only person who can do this stuff either...

But can you just try to use your brain and figure things out before asking how to ....

I don't know am I that much more experienced than everyone else so I just know how to figure things out quickly, know to the learn efficiently? Ask the right questions to Google?

How hard is it to just learn to Google your problems... 80% of the questions u ask me I either tell you to Google it or actually end up googling the answer myself...

relative: can you help me with my website?
me: ok, what do you need?
them: okay, i have this wordpress homepage that someone made for me and actually, when you go to my image gallery, i only want a simple "back" button that leads to the main page. but i cannot add it via wordpress functionality.
me: okay, i'll make you this button in under 10 minutes, given it doesn't require any fancy design. but i have no experience with messing with wordpress so far... let me check what their templates look like
(after 1 hour): wtf is this mess 😭

...since they only had their production website, i didn't dare to change anything and told them they best hire that dev again 🙈

I hate people that always pretend to be super busy and occupied... But then the only argument they bring to the table for not working is

Yeah I have somany unread emails 👀📥

Then when I tell them I sort that shit out before the weekend, they complain they need to make time for that in their busy schedule of not reading emails, listening to spottify and chatting with colleagues 🤭

Yeah super busy boi

"The client is complaining that the data takes a long time to load."
Me, after investigating: "Does the client really need [not an exaggeration, actual figures] 130,000 rows of data?"
"I will show them these stats but they said they need it"

I have 2695 unit tests in current project.

Most of them are useless but you still need to maitain them....

I need to expand my CS related book collection, it's too small
I have lots of ebooks but I don't like reading them much ... real books are just better
Any must-reads I should add to it?

!rant

@dfox Does devRant have webhooks? I would like to start processing rants and performing analytics on them but I don't want to tax your servers by polling for them.

All I need is a trigger when a new rant is created.

Ok, time to eat some humble pie. I seem to remember ranting about the fact we were going to use an offshore dev house a while back, and I'd convinced myself they were going to be absolutely useless.

Far from it. It's certainly meant I've had something else to do in managing them, and I can't say everything has been completely rosy - but overall, they're a bunch of hard working, decent devs who write good, well-tested code, are receptive to feedback in code reviews and take the initiative and ask questions when they need to. Shame on me for initially thinking otherwise - I'll miss working with them when I leave this place.

Fuck, I only need to hire ONE fullstack developer who fucking knows what he's talking about and not trying to weasel their way into this job. I tell them that there are no annoying managers, no KPI, no bullshit, I thought this is kinda valuable, but no

How hard can it be?

!dev

I hate it when people ask me questions that are easily googleable. I'm sorry but, please, don't waste both of our time on asking things like how to make a screenshot on an iPhone...
1. I have an android
2. Hey, you know this magical thing called Google?
3. You do know it? Oh my, good for you! Now try using it, thnx.

Unfortunately, I can never say this out loud. I just silently Google for them and send them a link. Perhaps, I need to grow some balls :D
Okay, never mind, said it once in a more polite form, and the dude replied with "fuck you, you female developers are such arrogant bitches", then he unmatched me. Good story, fun times.

FU*** unnamed company..... lets recap.
I went for a job interview at this unnamed company i was acting like me and dress like i normally do, witch is good not extrem like a model but normal OK. like you would see in any company.

Yes maybe i could have got a haircut but you know time...

but not to drift, i when i was myself in the interview and no out of the ordinary things happend....

3 days later they call with feedback and you properly guest it! they did not like my appearance..

Like why? my feedback to them was to think that refusing someone based on there personal statement of looking fucking average JO is not good thing to do. and that it makes them look like big "i am better than you..." jerks....
of course there was more of this so called "feedback".

They also ask if i had any feedback for them... i kindly suggested that they need to invest in training how to not judge people on how they look but on there ability of there work and skill....

pfff.. that gone! alright thanks devrant for this outlet.

Me: "Here is the new feature you asked for. You can select from the dropdown and if it's "Other" you can put the details in the text field next to it"

Them: "I need to add options to the dropdown"

Me: "If you need something added to the dropdown, just let me know and we can get it added, but we need to control that field"

Them: "It won't be necessary to communicate with you to add something to the dropdown"

Me: "Yes. It will be"

Contact wants to discuss a list of projects with me next week.

What's the betting that these are unfunded ideas that need code?

I should just check by email, but it's been a while since anyone walked this path with me, so I'm up for some fun.

I see myself taking an advisory role in these projects for equity.

"First thing you need to do is obtain funding for them all. Then get back to me for my insights on next stage. Not sure how to get funding, but I'm not the the 'creative' side of the team."

Ideas aren't worth shit. I have a bunch every day and they are as worthless as yours.

Ideas without execution are like owning a book without reading it.

I always emphasize for our trainees to just ask if they need help or have any questions.

But damn, some of them just keep asking about everything! It almost feels like they don’t think to themselves at all..

That moment when I have to give my method a name, so I wonder if it will return a boy or a girl, and I check every baby names book at the library.
But none of them suit my need, I don't see myself calling a Mathew or Charlotte in the future.
I feel the stress in my bones, beneath my skin. The method is almost complete. And then it comes, like a shooting star through my mind.
There it is.
I shall call my method:

PM: I don't like the number of meetings we have
Me: Oh I agree. We have too..
PM: We don't have enough of them.
Me: (oh... I was going to say that we need to cut back... But ok)
PM: I need better visibility into what everyone is doing.
Me: (so you wanna micromanage. Got it...)
Me: ... Gotcha, yup... Writing that down.

Employer: Hey, we are moving an API update live tomorrow morning that could affect our apps. Can you regression test the apps to make sure they all work?

Me: The API team is pushing code overtop of live endpoints that can break them?

Employer: Yes, we need the updates to work with a new product we are developing.

Me: And nobody thought about versioning these endpoints so we guarantee uptime on all existing services using them now?

Employer: We looked at that but it cost extra and required us to use the cloud solution so we don’t use versioning.

Me: Okkk… I also take it that the API’s don’t have integration tests written?

Employer: What are integration tests? Are unit tests the same thing?

Me: No, so when do I need to regression test all 7 production apps?

Employer: The API’s are moving to production at 4am and we need it signed off by 7am.

Me: I only have 3 hours to regression test 7 production apps at 4am? Each app, if I just skim over them, would take me 2 hours each. I will do my best but that’s a very short time to ensure complete functionality.

Employer: Don’t you have unit tests?

I honestly don't get the idea behind JavaScript frameworks. Like, if JavaScript on its own is really so bad that it's only usable for front-end devs with a framework.. why has nobody considered committing back their changes into JavaScript itself? Makes life easier for everyone.

Also, regarding the framework.. as far as I understand it's a bunch of functions that you load in, right? But do you really need all of those, to the point where the unused ones are justifiable? And wouldn't it make more sense to write them yourself as you need them? I mean that's at least the idea of functions in languages like Bash or C or whatever.

What's the point of frameworks?

Here we go again. Months have passed since this client first wanted their website launched. But because they were suddenly and inexplicably in no real hurry to make it go live, we are now waiting for them to get back to us on whether to push to Production. Meanwhile, I have bills to pay and as soon as I told them I need the check by no later than April 1st, everyone over there is no longer answering phone calls or emails. Voicemail box is full and not accepting any more messages.

I think this would be the part where I call "Big Nick" and ask him to pay them a little "visit". If I knew someone like that.

!dev

i made some dice for displaying health, when playing Magic the Gathering.
They're not exactly fair, but you also don't roll them. I ordered the numbers in a way, so whenever you loose or gain health, you don't need to look for the next/previous number, since it's always nearby.

They're made using a resin printer and painted with oil based lacquer.

I didn’t turn down a dev freelance project when the client decided against going with best practices because the solution I offered was a well-established design pattern but created a need for a financial management change she didn’t like. I stupidly built what she asked for. It worked fine in the 3rd party vendor test environment but failed on production. After hours of analysis of code to ensure no changes happened to my source during test->prod deployment, and the vendor denying they had config differences between them, and the client refusing to pay, all I could do was abandon the project.

Post on Craigslist: Need simple website. No coding, HTML and CSS only. Send price and examples.
Me: I need you to answer 4 questions before I can send a price.
Them: I really like your work, but if you cant give me a price without me answering any questions then you arent a good fit.

Yeah.... I feel for the guy that picks this one up.

Why are some seniors just so full of themselves? I mean... Yeah I know that they know more than me (junior) but common, you don't have to rub it in my face! Tho I'd rather have it that they rub it in my face than them explain it with the most difficult terms / hardest words they could find in the dictionary!!

I also don't need them to complain that I'm on a different platform than them (while they help me)

Recently covered pointers in class. I know how to use them/Have an understanding of what they do, but why would I need to use a pointer in the first place? What problem would need to be solved through the use of pointers?

Got new stickers today ☺

Hopefully I'll get the devRant stickers in the next time 🙈

Don't need all of them but I wanted the small "powered by debian" sticker... 🤯

!Rant

TLDR: What's your favorite REST API Documentation tool?

I'm about to start developing a really large REST API. I have never really had need to document my previous API's since they were small, self explanatory and had only me using them. Aside from this one being too large for me to keep track of there is also a remote team that will need to integrate with it.

Basically I need write exceptional documentation while using as little time as possible. I love postman and am planning to use it for documentation since I currently use it to test during development anyway but I have seen some really neat looking tools like swagger and apiary so I figured I would check for some other suggestions.

What is your current / preferred REST API documentation method?

I kinda need glasses for some things, but luckily I can work fine without them for now

I’ve been tasked with finding an experienced Project Manager for ‘a sensible cost’ - no specific budget amount shared.
That sounds like “we want the best, but want to pay very little” right?
It’s a massive project, they said “you developed this, did all the documentation and research, you can PM it right?”
“Can’t we just start making progress and adapt as we go?” They asked.
Sure I said (thinking Agile), but they said I just need to get on with it and let them know when finished! So no stakeholder interaction... this is not going to end well...

!rant

Need help. Just realized that I have been responding to every interaction I have had lately in a negative way. Not sure what's going on, but I just seem to always respond with a negative response. I consider myself a critical thinker, and a devil's advocate. From a previous comment on this site, to a random facebook post of someone sharing an animal rights post. I usually just ignore them and move on, but I ended up responding with poor intention.

Client: "We need a quote for a website build."
Me: "OK. What kind of website?"
Client: "We are working on a brief now, but we need a cost ASAP."

Me: "Alright. It should cost between $X and $Y. Dependent on the brief."
Client: "We can't go back with a range. We need a set price."
Me: "Well, give me a solid Functional Specification, and I'll give you a price based on that."

Client gave me a Func Spec. I gave them a price. Then they gave me change after change after change...

But they refused to pay more than the initial fixed price. By the end of it, I would have been better off working at McDonalds.

Why isn't this ready for testing yet?

Could it be that despite multiple meetings emails and face to face conversations none of you have provided me with what I actually need?

Yes I can create you new email and SMS campaigns. But I need two little things first.
1 The template text.
2 The sign off forms from compliance

Without them I can't do shit. So stop chasing me on where we're at because I've been chasing you on this for two weeks.

This shit here is why I'm the grumpy It guy.

A lot of devs I meet are pretty cool but a handful, including some on here, seem to think the world revolves around them and they deserve to have the ground dusted off in front of them.

That's fucking narcissistic and you need a reality check if you're like that. It's great you're passionate about your knowledge but you're not out here taking down terries and saving children from burning buildings, like calm down with the self righteousness

Just had to get that out after one too many "how dare anyone looketh unto me unless I request it in advance" posts. Like chill out, you're not that special 🙄

Working hard to meet crazy deadline to finish last update before new product announcement to make it look better. Our CEO blabs about new top secret product at some conference throwing away all marketing efforts up to date and putting marketing team into panic mode. Result? They moved the announcement date without discussing it with development. Result? Our efforts and overtimes wasted and we are announcing product before it is ready. End result? I'm pissed so I wrote angry e-mail to our CEO. Wondering what will happen now :-) But with unfinished announced product and crazy deadlines they need me a lot more than I need them.

"Hey guys, we should start using ESLint. It's a popular linter. There's 13,000+ styling inconsistencies it could streamline using `--fix`"

"Yeah... But these errors, they're not really errors, right? So, we don't need to fix them."

...

1. I never said they were errors. Do you know how a linter works?
2. Sure, I guess being consistent and familiar are overrated qualities of a codebase. Carry on!

In my previous work, when I was under pressure (very often, because we were to few people for all the work) I used to manage the situation in the following way:

PM: It's super-important and prioritary to develop < 2 days feature >. Sales really need that feature because they cannot work without it.

Me: Ok. I'll need from them < 2-hours-to-get data > and then I can leave what I'm doing and start with the feature.

PM: *... goes to tell sales ... comes back*

PM: Well, they say they can work by doing < some not as confortable way as feature, but pretty acceptable >.

Me: Ok, then I'll continue trying to prevent the systems break down inminently.

On this work I learned a lot, but clearly, we were too few people to mantain the site, and too much lazy sales people.

An intern approached me for help in one of their past exam questions. They said they had already turned in the exam but just wanted to know the answer. The question was not that hard and I had a bit of time to kill so I helped them.

Me: So, to make it O(n), you have to make it a double linked list, and keep a tail.

Them: But the problem requires us to solve it with a single liked list.

Me: You can just iterate it at the end to make it single-linked again. That costs O(n), so the solution is still O(n).

Them: Oh yeah right. I don't think we even need a tail though, we could just have a variable pointing to the last link.

Me: ...which is called a tail.

I'm curious .... Devs seem to love quotes that try to give you some profound wisdom

Personally I don't care for them kind of like reading cards but id like to know if you guys have any 🤔

Mainly what you think of when you need to get things done what keeps you driven

I use Windows on my desktop, Linux on my laptop, and Android on my phone. But I've never never had a good use for Apple products! I'm fine with others using them but I need to have a little control over my devices!

Anyone else?

Had annual appraisal meeting today. Been in this company for 2yrs now, after being hired outta college. It happens first after 2 years, then yearly.

I have long since known that my boss is a scumbag. My lucky college mates got assigned to great managers, leaders I must say, while I got the typical, know it all boss.

Now this racist, motherfucker, for reasons unknown to me, has mostly disliked me. But hey, the feelings mutual but I don't ever go busting his ass.

Previous employees eventually transferred locations or departments. But I stuck coz I respected some colleagues and learnt a lot from them.

Now this nutjob gave me a 2/5 rating. Says I need to improve my communication. I need to talk more. WTF you goatfucking cunt! I decide how much I wanna talk. I don't waste my time, and even if I did, I don't have any right to waste someone elses time. And talking about communication skills - BITCH! Everytime you speak something, I need like 2 mins to compile your jumbled fucking words in my mind to be able to comprehend what it is you wanted to convey. And you cunt! YOU are going to tell me I need to improve my communication. Dumbfuck I ain't no Shakespeare, but I can convey my message through.

Fucking peasant!

Hmm. The lemon tea sure is good today.

PO1: Hey, PO2 just told me that he experiences a lot of crashes in our iOS app!

Me: Whoa! The app hasn’t had any crashes since ages. The testers haven’t reported crashes either. (Me in panic mode). I will ask PO2 about some details about the crashes.

Me to PO2: So, can you please describe me when the crash happens?

PO2: (long story about error messages and UI quirks and how he force quits the app to make them disappear)

Me: OK thanks for that info. Those are definitely valid problems that we have not encountered yet. But none of them are crashes. So are there any other problems that cause crashes?

PO2: Yes and no. (Long story and more problems)

Me: ok we need to investigate that. But are there crashes?

PO2: (Something that doesn’t answer the question)

Me: I need to ask explicitly again: Are there actual crashes where the app closes itself automatically?

PO2: No, that has never happened.

Not really a rant about coding itself, but it's a rent, I'm a dev, so here ya go:

I have a German citizenship, but am living in Hungary temporarily. Also, I need internet. So I go to the website of UPC, register, order a package, etc. Just as I would do anywhere else....... Except for the fact , that they just called me that I should send them my passport, because they neither accept my German ID, my Hungarian registration card or anything else. I DON'T HAVE A PASSPORT YOU MOTHERFUCKERS! I LIVE IN THE EU, I DON'T NEED A PASSPORT!!

But the best part was when they told me I should just ask my mother to make the contract for me, because she does have a Hungarian citizenship. ARE YOU KIDDING ME??!

How the fuck did my company decide a single toilet stall is enough? Are they really this cheap? Why must I go to the bathroom three times before I can actually use it? Why do they think one is enough for 100 male employees? In their defence, they do have urinals, but I'm not comfortable using them.

So many questions and I STILL NEED TO GO!

Salespeople telling clients "Your site doesn't need a privacy policy/cookie policy since you don't actually sell anything on your site."

Wrong wrong wrong WRONGITY WRONG WROOONNGGGG!!!!!

Client to PM to me: "Well Jim said we don't need those on this site."

Me: "Well Jim is misinformed, since we use Google analytics, Facebook Pixel, and contact forms, you need to have both a privacy and cookie policy."

PM to client: "We'll find you a template you can use to get started, it'll cover most of what you need."

Me to PM: "we will do no such thing, we can send them a few links explaining why they need these, but they should consult a legal professional and cover their asses for their own business practices. I can provide any technical details they may need like what data the cookies collect if necessary."

PM to me: "well I'll just find something for them then."

*In my head* please just go crawl in a hole and die.

...What a day ,
"CTO new priority need this project started and completed ASAP."
Me: "What about my current project you wanted me to work on that was a high priority which took over Another project I was supposed to be working on?"
CTO: "This one is a higher priority than both of them"
Me: "ok sure shall get onto it".
PM: "A client has come in with an issue on another project I need this fixed now".
Team leader assigns me a bunch of tasks that need to get done which is ok but 5 people need me to get it done so they can do the bulk of their work.

Later for a side project CTO asks me to get a list together of things that are missing for this side project, about 60 seconds later he asks me to send him the email now - bare in mind nearly 300 assets I need to go through which are not organised so what the heck I just send him it mid sentence.

End of day get told that CTO wants me on yet another different project...

Each of these projects takes 4 months to get done. But arggggg... oh and then I hear that our new PM has decided to cut all project deadlines by half....

I am but a single person,
I just want to sit back and watch everything burn around me... But the company has a history of Scape goating people on failed project deadlines... Never a dull day in the office but tbh kinda like it.

I went on a coding tear last week, probably because my boss was on vacation. I optimized the bejesus out of a half dozen apps and created five or six new features to downstream apps. But now I need to write them all down, and make retroactive stories for them. I hate admin.

Right,i consider myself a pretty damn good dev... I can back up everything I say to prove that I'm right on not lying to clients

But I see all these devs who do lie... Who withold data from clients cause it's not great.

And I go to clients and prove that they are lying not doing it right.

But I know saying to them... Oi your current devs are shit fire them ... Isn't a good way to get them as a client

Me and my company are open and honest ... we go all out on all of our projects. I work nonstop. It is seriously baffling the kind of developers are out there and how bad they can be I'm... Seriously just.... Urgh 😖

How should I go about talking to clients without going ... Fire them quick or saying that in a ... More humble respectful way...

I need more clients ... To survive and I don't mind coming across as a dick as long as they understand what's going on and that they are people ripped off by these asshole devs

Reanimated an old e-ink tablet today.

First, I didn't even know it needed to be reanimated. I just copied my books there, but it didn't find them. When I connected it again, they were gone.
Factory reset. Format storage. The memory seems empty, but after rebooting I see that everything is still intact.
Ok, imma hit forums then. They tell me I need to replace the internal memory. But isn't that something you need soldering for? Wrong! The internal memory IS JUST A MICRO SD CARD on the motherboard. The card is some cheap no name one, and people tell the similar story of it burning out after like four years of use.
Damn! The vendor has the AUDACITY to charge for signing their firmware to be flashed to a new micro sd card.

But I won't go down this easily. I hit forums again, and apparently there is a tool to sign the firmware yourself, but you need to find the card's serial number. To do that, you have to flash a bootleg tool, boot from that card, and it will show you the data you need. Then, you have to insert them into some shady .ini file (why is everything touching bootleg firmware runs only on windows?).

So I do that. The problem is, I need an image for my book. I find some shady one online, sign & flash it — touchscreen doesn't work. But I have the official firmware. I put two and two together and figure out that if the reader is able to display the ui, it probably has the firmware update tool working. So, immediately after flashing, I launch the firmware update utility that picks up my firmware from the second sd card (yes, they have an additional external slot).

Bingo. It works.

So, here are the steps:
1. Find a shady sd serial number detection tool
2. Flash it on a memory card with a shady vendor-specific flashing tool
3. Insert the new (now shady) card
4. Boot, write down the serial number
5. Find a shady boot image online
6. Edit a shady .ini file of a shady self-signing tool to sign the shady boot image
7. Flash the altered shady boot image with the shady flashing tool on your memory card
8. Copy a shady firmware update on a new card
9. Insert both cards
10. Pray

"We want you to run the site"

"Ok but you don't need me - the rewritten codebase is javascript and the Python proxy is in the cloud. You can run it on any cheap web hotel. Or just unzip the app on your own desktop"

"We want you to run the site."

Loop this a few times. Can't say I didn't try to save them the money...

the moment when you say fuck this functionality and let’s get rid of this 15 screens and replace them with simply point and click and they say but google did it like we wanted… Well google is valued trillion dollars and we are valued nothing. If you want this shit pay million to some developer so he would do one thing and deliver this…ok it’s not needed, fucking 12+ years making startups and delivering projects and still need to deal with morons who say google did it, yeah ask them to develop some functionality for you and fuck you too… I saved you year of work you morons and you fucking complain, dude you need to start selling your products and I want to enable it to you, if you don’t understand that shit then fuck you…

>ooo new thing to play with and learn, yay!
>*Installs using directions*
>Hello world program fails
>Oh I need these dependencies
>Wait the deps all need their own deps...
>But one of them is deprecated.. what do?

I love the feeling of working on something new but
I hate ending up spending more time getting a workflow setup and chasing down random bugs or hacky fixes just to get something stable so I can start working!!!

This will definetly be an unpopular rant but god damn it I hate to work with untreated depressed people. It's fucking nearly impossible to convince them to try out something new. They are always pessimistic or think that they know everything. They don't care about new things happening around them. Every time in work when we encounter some obstacle it looks like the world has ended for them and every god damn time I need to give pep talks to them like we are in some war and I feel like I need to inspire soldiers to fight even though they are 100% convinced that they will die.

Im done with being a therapist for them. I don't have unlimited amounts of tolerance and energy, I am a human also. I can't keep sugarcoating what I see and I can't continue walking like on eggshels just because somebody is too weak to even take a constructive criticism without becoming passive agressive for days or weeks. I realized that their negative pessimism has started to rub off on me and I think it's time to put an end to this.

Please if you have depression get some help, don't expect that new workplace or employer will motivate you enough to turn your life around. Don't expect that putting on a mask will actually hide who you are and that your condition will not impact others around you in work. Just stop pretending and get some actual help. Start from yourself.

?

I am working as intern with a super cool startup. I love working here.

But, for the past few days I've been busy with college, exams stuff. This has affected my work severely. I'm constantly past deadlines etc.. The startup understands the fact and also puts no pressure on me for to show up every day and decreased my workload.

College work will be the same for the next two months. I don't want to underperform at the company, at the same time cant do away with my college too.

It's like a relationship where you love the girl a lot but are genuinely too busy to spend time with her.

I'm meeting my supervisor today. I need a subtle way to let him know of the same. I know this would mean me leaving the company, but I want to join them back after two months. Or at least be a work from home, part time employee.

I'm in serious need of some help.

I spent about an hour writing my own password generator at work... (And probably my item password safe) because my company doesn't allow using Keepass...

But require super complex passwords... That need to be exactly 8 characters...

And they expect us to somehow think of and remember them... And change it every 6 months....

As a developer, isn't it a given that if we can't have something, we'll just build one ourselves... But one that is lower quality since it is adhoc and with by a single dev... That doesn't have time or the experience of a domain expert...

They also blocked GitHub/Sourceforge so I can't just download from my own repo... And basically need to do it on company time... For better or worse.

I wonder, are some apps on purpose made to be small size, but then later when you open them force you to download the actual data made with converting people that are low on space or dont want heavy apps to actual download numbers? since if they now after discovering that, delete the app - they already have boosted the downloads

I can understand pulling offline databases or game updates from own servers to get the newest data, but sometimes you come across apps that have no need in any of those and could just e.g. package the audio which will never be updated

not dev.

A follow up on my HSBC credit increase rejection rant from last month. So they ended up saying "we chose not to give you an increase even though your account is very good. Feel free to try again in 3-6 months but I can't guarantee your request will be approved."

I let it be.

Today I got an email saying that following a recent review of my account, they'd like to offer me an increase. The same increase I asked for last month and got rejected, and then had my credit score ruined over. Bitch what.

I am petty af, tomorrow I'll call them and tell them that "after having reviewed their services, I choose not to give them consent to increase my credit limit. I understand this isn't the outcome they were hoping for, but that is my decision. Feel free to reach out again in 3-6 months but I can't guarantee that I'll change my mind. "

Yes I know the rep on the other end of the line wouldn't give a f*ck, I just want that recorded. I don't really need the increase, just wanted to lower my utilisation. They can suck it.

Phone calls for things that could be solved incrementally with Slack. I shouldnt need to handhold you through every single step of this, you can do it yourself given the right direction, but unfortunately because you have no skills of your own and refuse to develop them I'm stuck here doing 70% of the work and getting 0% of the credit.

Either assign the task to me, or stop asking me bad questions.

I'm in this university software engineering course, where the professor decides he need to teach us the entire history of software engineering.

Dude, we were taught how to use SVN in addition to Git. Huh? And for software development processes, we were taught a total of 7 of them. There're: code and fix, waterfall, prototyping, spiral, phased, agile and lean. And the tests are like "list 5 advantages and disadvantages for X, and compare them to the advantages and disadvantages of Y". Wtf dude. I don't mind memorizing things, but the things I learn aren't even relevant (except agile and lean). Nobody would be impressed if I say I know SVN in an interview. What am I doing with my life. Ok, back to cramming this shit cuz i need my GPA. Bye.

I'm working on a codebase that is terminally ill. It's split so badly into microservices that no matter what you do, every one of them talks to every one of them over and over. If there's any way they can avoid just invoking a method on a class and send themselves a message or make an HTTP request, they'll do it. One of the services just sends messages to itself for no apparent reason. Except it doesn't even send messages to itself. It sends an HTTP request to a controller in another app, and that controller sends a message which is received by the same class that made the request.

The point is that this application is screwed. The defects pile up and there is literally no one who can understand what it's supposed to do in any scenario. I'm good at this. I can follow confusing code and document it. But not this one. It's overwhelming. It's insanity.

When these defects come in we're told to just run the app from the UI, see what HTTP requests it makes, and start tracing the code manually. Running and debugging it locally would be a nightmare but it's impossible anyway.

They decided that we all need to understand the application better so we can work on it, so we were each given six poorly-define five-hour tasks to "understand" various things. Those things don't make any sense. It's like if someone gave you the source code to Excel and told you to spent five hours understanding columns, five more understanding rows, and five more understanding cells.

Here's the thing: I'm okay with learning and understanding some code. It's part of the job. But I'm not going to abandon my career as a software developer so I can become an expert on debugging their awful code. I didn't make this mess. I'm not going to live with it. I'm moving on as quickly as I possibly can.

I've tried to explain to them that if they want the situation to improve they need to improve the code. They need to learn how to write tests. If your plan is that people will study your code, know it inside and out, and then spend all their time debugging it, that's a plan for failure. Everyone who can will leave and take what they know with them.

These companies just don't get it. They need their software to work, but the types of developers who can help them don't need that software to work. No one capable of doing good work is going to spend several years debugging their awful code unless you pay them a crazy ton of money.

Just don't make a mess in the first place. Hire developers who can do a good job. If you hire the cheapest people you can find you won't be able to get someone else to fix it later. It's not personal but I wish failure on those projects or even those companies. I want them to fail because failure is so expensive. I want them to fail so that others learn from it and don't repeat the same mistakes.

As an industry we're a bunch of genuine idiots. We just keep doing the same things over and over again no matter how much it hurts.

So i am stuck, i have assignments to complete, i know what i need to do, but every single time i sit down to write them up, my mind goes blank and i get extremely fustrated any advice? thanks.

Two friends of mine (one of which actually introduced me to devRant) refuse to post on here.

...there's no need to explain that I want them to enjoy devRant (at it's full potential) with me but they don't see a point in writing.

Would you be so kind and give them some motivation/reasons in the comments? What's the point of dev-ranting?

Cordova or Xamarin?

I need to build a mobile app again, mostly for Android, because an interior Official app's functionality is so interior (written but monkeys) that it has finally pissed me of enough to take action.... And possibly be profitable (ads banner).

Mostly targeting Android but hey why not hit them all or at least also UWP.. I ain't paying for the Apple license... (Or maybe dfox could help release it...)

Anyway, which is better? I kinda want to pick up React and maybe try Typescript? (currently work with MEA(v1)N at work)

But I also use C# WPF, but mostly for my own projects these days when I need a desktop GUI.

I don't really feel like relearning Android SDK, I learned the SDK back when it was for Ice Cream.

When you type W in your browser but you accidentally press ctrl...

So Apple did make iTunes connect better but why the hell would they disable the tab button to move to next text box? I hope its just something wrong on my end or that would be a dumbass move -_-

On a side note, devRant need to have a category for Apple so it makes it easier for at least me to rant about them -_____-

Can you spot the difference?
So after getting the 37 sensor arduino module kit, i decided to label each of them. The 2 modules below are the last 2 in need of labeling...
One is a magnetic hall and the other is an analogue hall but I can't tell which is which. Googling just makes it worse since they are so similar the same image is often used for both modules. The only visible difference is one has a small resistor and what appears to be a tiny led.

Please help me identify them... asking for a friend.

Me 🤗"Since you know the domain far better than me, can I ask you to help me understand if I managed to cover all the edge cases with these UNIT TESTS?
😒" no no no, you don't need to check for those cases, you already do that in your code"
🤗 "I'm sorry, I must have explained myself badly. I have written these UNIT TESTS exactly to ... TEST if those CHECKS in my code work and what I need is you to tell me if there are additional cases ..."
😫"but you don't need to!!! You already have that logic in your code"
😐😵☠ 🦍💊🔫🔪"you know what? I'm gonna give them a second look. Thanks"
And then I moonwalked out of the room

Well, I'm no professional developer, still at school, but I thought about this, regarding convincing PMs of you writing permanent fix instead of a temporary workaround: Just tell them that this one particular issue can't have a hotfix, and that you need time to fix it.

I need a new hobby. Programming doesn't excite me anymore, at least not how it did a couple of years back. I'd like to get into robotics and stuff, but everything's expensive where I live. I'd like to get into cars, also too expensive where I live. I like playing video games, but I suck at them and they bring me no feeling of having accomplished something. Sports? Suck at them too. I'd like to ski, but I live in South America. I just don't know what to do with my free time. Programming feels like a chore nowadays, but it's all I have.

Project with partner company, during the meeting I asked them how can we secure the communication between two services. I suggested api keys, tokens. They were like nope, no need. But I asked them for their IPs to do whitelisting on our side in Nginx.

But their side, nah not even whitelisting, no tokens, no validations. If one has address, can send anything from anywhere.

How hard would it be to do at least, AT LEAST simple token validation. And they are using the very old IIS server. I think for them as long as data flows in as expected, it is fine.

Rant one of monday!!

Monday stand up meeting....

Reviewing jira tasks
Front end:" well, I dont think that is a priority but IM NOT TEST DRIVEN DEVELOPER SO...."

Jira task? Local env for testing in minikubes.

Ahhh the cool startup isssss sooooo cool he takes decisions about that, model the app or even estimates the deadlines of the product (the product not jira tickets)

Isnt it cool? Why not give that power to juniors? Why not tell them they dont need to learn and junior is just something they label to pay cheap for them?

Classmate: I'm done with this

I read his code

Me: Good. But could you make that a little bit more.. readable?

Classmate: Eh..what?

Me: Or use one or two lists less.. and the naming

Classmate: But I need them all!

It's a square around a coordinate within given borders, not rocket science.

Earlier I used to help my college batch mates and juniors in coding and development stuff. Sometimes I used to do some projects with them myself to help them learn. Sometimes I used to go beyond limits to debug their errors, even spending hours with them physically or through TeamViewer.

But now I have realised that I had been no more than just stackoverflow.com to them. They just call me when they need me and don't even care about me as a friend.

So that's it. Now I have stopped helping such people. I don't care if that's rude or arrogant. I just don't want to do this. If they still are a friend, well and good otherwise they can leave. I don't care anymore.

Just wanted to say a massive thanks for the stickers. They arrived a few weeks ago but just realise my attempt at posting a picture failed :(

Now I just need to decide where to stick them!

I've got a user who keeps asking for weekly updates on a project I'm on and my pm is supposed to interface with them and give them the status. But my pm comes back to me like "so everything is good right?"

When we just talked last week about how it's not and I still have work stoppages. I have status updates written in our ticket tracker for him and he has tons of emails explaining the issue but he always forgets what the status is anyway!

Jesus, having to keep reminding someone of something when the information is right out there for them to grab quickly and easily is bloody annoying. He just neglects this one project! I'd cut out the middleman but I need him because I don't know enough about business rules to make decisions or ignore concerns that crop up in my planning!

I gave a rant yesterday about this. But I have to say it again because it's so gratifying. It went like this

Me: "you should patch the module instead of using it for your python unit test."

Them: "You keep telling me this, but maybe there is a better way"

Me: "there is, I'm telling it to you"

Next day, Code review.
Me: "You need to change this"

... silent on the issue ...

On a call...
Me: "You need to patch the module. Don't mess up the namespace."

Them: "I don't think so, X did the work"

(In my head: then what did you do)

Me: "We can grab whoever you like Y, X. Let's see if X is busy"

... X isnt busy, hops on call 45 seconds later.

Me: "we're using the module, we should patch this'

X: Muses the thought for 2-3 seconds.

X: "yeah... Yeah we probably should patch that"

Moral of the story, don't take shit personally unless your right... Then relish in. But if your right and X says otherwise, you can always + a rant.

First day at my job and once I got home I immediately crashed into my bed and woke up at 3 AM.

For some reason I still feel physically tired. Even though I woke up by myself (no distractions from my environment).

+ I feel like having worked out even though I did not. I can feel the muscles aching everywhere in my body.

Anyway back to how it went...
I got there (company) and met a young people like me who are also working in this company for the first time.

Once I saw them + the chief and the leaders, my anxiety kicked in, but I made sure not to show it.

We took photos and saw the cubes (data center cubes) and it felt like I was in a hacking scene from Mr Robot or Watch Dogs lol. It was so cool.

After that we were assigned to our temporary work places and mine was at a place where you get packages from the delivery trucks, cut them, sort them, put etiquettes on them and register them in the system.

Another boy (let's call him Daniel) and me were assigned to this place. He is going to be a sys admin.

The people at this workplace were very chill, cool and mature.
You can joke with them and they will not get offended (looking at you, Twitter) lol.

Daniel however is the opposite.
He is so god damn extroverted that he literally won't stop talking.
At some point he asked me if I was even listening and I admitted that the unconcious side of the brain of mine built a filter over the years that only let's valuable information flow through. When there is no valuable information, I do not process them in my conciousness.

Poor guy got a bit sad, but me whatever. Not my problem. He gave me an headache by talking nonstop nonsense.

Today, when my shift begins, I will learn to do drive a forklift and I'm excited about this.

I do not even need a license for it which you normally need in other companies :D

!rant

I'm a rather young developer, self-learned everything and started when I was 13 (now 20) but I still feel like I'm a total beginner since I have not yet mastered the things I am OK at.

Php (laravel, since it makes things much easier), js (jquery, bad at vanilla, have used angular and ember but not mastered), node, linux, html, css, photoshop, illustrator, sql, mongo and windows servers

I know little about many things, can create things that are asked of me but the methods I use are rather bad imo.. ex: I finish coding a section of a site, but when I need to add a new feature I find myself rewriting most of the stuff to add the new feature and in the end still feeling like the code could be optimized further, even though I have no idea how.

TL;DR I write bad code, but things work as long as I am monitoring them. I know little about alot of stuff but mastered none of them.

What should I do? Go to school for programming?

i'm starting a project where i will have a large amount audio clips, anywhere from a few seconds to about an hour long, and i need to store them based on which user created them and what group they are created in (so they will be sorted based on two integers). i'll need to concatenate and/or merge the audio files frequently, and i may need to filter which audio i use based on users and time created.

how should i store the audio? i'm pretty sure a database is the best option, but should i consider using the file system? if i shant, should i use mysql or postgres? i know postgres has more types and supports complex queries.

does anyone have experience who can help?

I love Mikrotik. Just fucking love them. I also love my residential fiber service. Small company. Synchronous 125M service. No caps. Bandwidth is always there.

BUT... They use PPPOE (seriously guys?), and the IP changes on *every single re-connect*. Also: no IPv6 support. I know. I don't need it. But I want it.

Enter DNSMadeEasy's DDNS, Hurricane Electric's 6to4 tunnel service, and my Routerboard AH100x4. I wrote a script that runs on the router whenever my IP changes. It updates my DDNS record, updates my 6to4 tunnel IP using HE's API, and updates my local 6to4 interface's IP.

It just works. My public IPv4 may change, but the /48 IPv6 networks on my LAN side stay fully routeable.

Most awesome game ever! It mostly plays by itself and cheats... or maybe it a bug: You (as Autoplay) don't have to beat all the NPCs to advance....

Strangely it feels sort of familiar... O right bc I usually God Mode all games..... But still need to play thru them manually.

Also there's some Chinese left in one of the buttons... they forgot to translate... But maybe that's... Most of time all we care about is the graphics and seeing rank go up....

To create a really amazing OSS, I don't even care if anyone uses it or if it becomes popular or anything, I just want to do it to prove to myself that I don't need to get paid to write good code, I can do it to make the world a better place too.

This has really been my main goal for a long time now, sure I've written some a few OSS but I don't consider them up to that standard yet, but I am working on something right now that will get close if I ever manage to finish it and if it is well written.

My buddy needs website, I helped him to setup localhost, and told him I can work on backend if he wants, he is my good friend so I could even do it for free if he shares some income later down the line but he would need frontend anyway, so someone would need to do it. Some consideration later it turns out that there is noone to do the FE, so that is trashed and instead Im solving wordpress problems for him whenever he has them..

God... I forgotten why I hate wordpress... Every single time I helped him I felt like Im doing workaround to workaround and it somewhat works like its supposed to...

Edit: fixed wording

Chocalate filled donuts are demonic they taste like they are filled with hopes and dreams, but every single one of them probably carries the amount of sugar a human can ever need in his life time. And I can feel my life span getting lower and lower with each bite I take. And in the end of th day I will look at my chocalate covered hands and cry 😂

Currently we have to make a new REST API at work. I want to have a clear and functional API (with HAL JSON, that is given). But my colleagues don’t like this, because they don’t like the design (the look and feel) of the HAL JSON responses. They just want an easy API with a nice design, so they want to ignore half of the HAL JSON specification. But a REST API don’t has to be easy and don’t need a fancy design, REST APIs are not for humans but for computers! How can I explain this to them?

I just realized the problem I have with my team is that a lot of people don't seem to be any smarter than computers..

Usually when i tell someone to do something, I tell them overall goal and give them a general direction, the first step I would do. And well then tell them to go work out the details from there or come back to me if they have a **specific** problem.

1 month later I check back in and they're like I emailed ..., Still waiting for them to reply.

/(ò.ó)┛彡┻━┻

Can't you be a little more resourceful or creative, try looking for another way... Human....

I understand that, at least for now, I still need to tell computers exactly what to do and how handle errors...

But you're not a computer and the whole point of telling you to do something is I expect you to use your brain and think for yourself when something unexpected happens...

I really think I prefer to be judged in an interview based on a walk through of a project you would want me to work on or a project to work on at a specified time or even my public projects in my repo, not some theoretical basics of programming.

Frankly, most times I barely remember this basic shits but obviously use them as the need arise in projects.

Where and How do you make developer friends.

My coworkers are smart and decent developers but they learned on the job for the job.

But they're not interested in discussing improvements to legacy projects that barely still work until they break and we need to rush to recreate them 'better'.
or sit on a call on the weekend working on spontaneous personal projects that usually die cause another idea came along.

Sometimes I really just want someone I can hop on a discord call with so they can criticize my projects and brainstorm ideas and improvements with me

Need some advice.
A few programmers told me when I started programming that instead of learning many languages, just focus on one that I am comfortable with and try to get really good at it.
But when I look at other people's resumes or Devrant profiles, most of them have multiple languages in their skill set.
That's why I have been exploring different languages but haven't found the one yet that I think I like the best.
What should I do now? Explore more?

Sometimes I feel like things only get done if I'm doing them. We've been waiting on features a and b for ages now and it's still not functional. I deliberately did not involve myself with these things because I didn't want to be on top of everything. I decided to involve myself with project c and finished within a week.

I write these thoughts off as intrusive since it's arrogant to think that, but the frustration remains and I need to vent

Them: "We need you to do this thing this way because it isn't possible to do the right way."

Me: ... *codes script that works the right way*

Them: "But it was actually this other thing we didn't say anything about that isn't possible."

Me: ... *codes script with new condition, still works*

Now repeat daily for 2 weeks and we may get to where I don't just silently provide a working script.

Maybe I should have just done it the wrong way to begin with?

Why do package maintainers stop answering and go silent?!

I've waited for more than two weeks on acceptance on my PR, the maintainers hasn't been active and I've even notified them of my worries.. But so far no activity.

Why the fuck does a package like date-fns have maintainers that doesn't answer? Furthermore, I can see one of them making private contributions on Github..

I need this package to help on another package to finish my project 😭

i found playing with arduino is never-ending fun. and then i tried Raspi and feeling the same. now i buy a bunch of raspi and trying to cluster them up, just for another random project.

yeah this is clearly nonsense. this is myself when my boredom gets high enough. No, vacation is not helping, trust me i've been camping in a jungle for 5 days and the next week i go to the beach. this is bad.

making things worse, My way of life is like any ordinary people (or maybe a developers) but turned upside down for example I program, learning for fun, and going vacation is just another medical need that i need to follow.

I am an university student, studying IT. I've been programming since 6, and geeking anything around technology and astronomy till now. this is my third semester and i don't get challanged enough for this kind of curricullum. i need some kind of project that even i don't think about any number of money anymore, but just enough to challange me up. just need to get rid my boredom.

sorry for ranting from a to z, this is just buzzing around my mind.

Used to work salary and in-house for client but now do freelance for them ‘cause ‘rona.

Adobe CC and Font Suitcase licenses are due for renewal and they want to cancel them for all but essential in-house senior staff.

I tell them I have both at home, on my own dime, but I need their font folder to be able to use them.

So I have 12,000 fonts now.

I am using Manjaro as the main OS on my computer. But I have an original Windows 10 license, as well as an Office 2013.

I want/need to have them installed on PC, as I need to use it sometimes.

But if I install my Windows 10, it will certainly destroy my grub and I know I will have a hard time to make it work again.

Would it be a good idea to install them on a virtual PC? I know it would not be good with games, but the only game I have is GTA IV (that I am not even sure if it still works on Windows 10).

Thanks!

My biggest dev sin is premature optimization. I'll try to produce the best possible code without the need for it to be there. I will waste my time thinking of wierd edge cases that can be handled with a simple if-else, but why not tweak the algo to handle them internally.

Ditch them completely.
In modern browsers you can emulate their behaviour easily.
They make your layout unnecessarily complex.
What the fuck am I talking about?

Tables in HTML. Fuck them. It may be just me and I still do not understand all of their defaults and when ti apply which style to which table element (thead, th, td...) but I found out that I can make almost everything with divs, flexbox or even some fixed widths or heights much easier to what I want than with tables.

Especially if you layout a complex scrolling component with static top row and static first column, it is nearly impossible with tables (and even without them you still need JS).

Ah, and fuck IE with a dirty trident. That thing can die in hell.

How do i handle code review as a junior developer?
I understand its need and I don't want to skip it.
But I feel under confident after code review when my mistakes are pointed out. They always seem so trivial and wonder how did I even miss them. How should I handle such situations? And how do I improve from here?

I honestly do not understand the hate for Macs. I know I'm not the first to rant about it, but it's sad that I have to. Yes, you can build a crazy PC with 172828 cores over-clocked to 79Thz for like $7 and have a taco along with it, but that's not the point. Each of them are good for their own things. Maybe, I don't want to spend the first 13 hours figuring out which version of Linux I need to run after I get a computer. I mean give me a break. Each of them are personal preferences. What people often don't see in Macs are value you get with service and surprisingly useful default apps (I'm looking at you Open office) and a solid feature set. Why am I even writing this, it's fucking 2AM.

Does any of you write notes about what you learn in your day to day job? I recently covered a colleague that went on vacation because the product was going to be shipped during his vacay and I was assigned to do some tweaks, since I am the only one on that team that also knows frontend apart from him. My job is computer vision and he is a frontend dev, so when I sat to take a look, I started to learn new tricks for frontend and I felt the need to write them down because when I go back to my routine, I will forget them since I won’t use them for computer vision. However, knowing frontend is always handy.. do you guys take notes on stuff you might not touch again but it’s useful to keep somewhere?

Guys i have a macbook from my company but i used windows all the time. i cant setup the macbook as I need. No karabiner etc. Managed by the company. In Private i still use windows.
Switching back and forth between them is fucking up my dev experience. So i am looking at ways to change my windows keymapping instead. Any suggestions? Hardware and software appreciated. Maybe a keyboard which u guys have good exp with? Or a setup? Cant be the only one here .

As a dev, I have to reuse a lot of codes again and again. Some I've written, and some of them I found after stucking my head for 1 hour on StackOverflow.

Now, the problem is every time I need the code, I have to search again. Some of them I saved in note apps but organizing code snippets & finding them with a quick search is a mess.

I was thinking of building a code snippet organizer where developers can save code snippets in any language (have syntax highlighting), search quickly, share with anyone, create buckets, manage multiple accounts etc.

Let me know if it's a good idea or not. Would you be interested in using something like this? Is this even a real problem or it's just me?

So as the only developer and maintainer of a CRM at work, the management finaly found a sysadmin to aid me on production side. This way i don't have to do maintenance during weekends. The new assigned sysadmin contacted me, telling me he needed the whole DEV repo & & DB so he could start improving the CRM. I blocked his request saying we need a meeting to set rules and concider if we need him as a developer. Note that management didn't inform me of his visit. After this, he sends a mail to management telling them i don't want to work with him???? I got a feeling that management wants to replace me, but i realy don't want to let go of this project. What are your thoughts on this situation? Should i stop guessing, and straight up confront them with my thoughts? Or see how things work out...

dev> So, I've made a list, you only need to check the empty fields of the informations you want to be displayed

client> okay, so I have done the first X lines, there are only Y more left, you can get them by yourself when you look at the ones I've filled out.

dev> "gets them", shows them the client and codes everything after getting approved.

- delivers -

client> oh, well, yeah that would be correct but *insertvery specific industry information that only people knows that work in a management position in this industry*

-- like, just fill out the information I am asking you for, then we would have had not a single problem

The police in England are utterly useless. Some of them are good, some of them try. But generally, they're a bag of shit.

I know this is random, but I can't really say any more than this and I need to rant about this shit. It's frustrating AF.

I don't know what to do because union and sum types both totally suck but I need them for my scripting language

Union types are fun and intuitive because they can be used with type refinement but they're not hierarchical thus bad for generics.

Sum types (or tagged unions) are great because they're hierarchical and can be nested properly but they need ugly type matching constructs.

The positive thing is I'm not making a systems language anymore so I only wanna jump of a bridge every second day

Stupid manager/boss

my good idea always get rejected first so badly.
Someday ,i proposed a good idea. after meeting with client he said "yeah we actually working on that by using this and this idea" like he's the one who found it, then he said do that idea of yours.

Then someday, i do split the repository to make things clean in approval of my other boss which is more weird. Then after split it up i got bashed from him infront of other team.
But after critical phase that make me night work. He says "we need to split it up to make this easier". Fuck. If we do it first. We dont need to take night work.

Come on, actually i never do something only based on my task. But i do want create better environment on the office. At least morale up your fuckin employee dont bash them everyfuckintime.

But yeah, like buzz said.
"Stupid people, i see stupid people everywhere"

I think I need glasses (or at least more coffee) but every time I think about contributing to an open source project maintained by a "Comunity", i find out that I missed the smelly bits in theire massive coc that they want to ram down your throat.

Eigther I missed them every time or some fuck puts them in after I read them.

The first time it's about mostly Standart shit like: don't troll/flame/insult/detract. But than I start seeing: Sexism, Racism, xenophobia, hetotonormativity (wtf nodeJs)/homophobia insta ban. They even assert that you should apologize even if you did nothing wrong and your not allowed to stand your ground or your banned.

And if the mod pulls a fast one on your buddy, not allowed to be discussed in any public forum or your banned too.

What happened? I was sure that only the bigger repos had that shit (like the Linux kernel (that bans you for being pro trump). Have I missed something?

Fuck every repo that does that shit. They ain't gonna get my time or money.

Don't automatically count yourself out of positions because you haven't done them before, you can learn and grow.

I'm in the best job that I've ever had, but didn't meet all the criteria the vacancy had as "requirements". I had some experience in some of the areas that they were looking for, none in others, but they thought I was the right person for the job. I'll always be grateful for that.

At the same time, you need to be realistic, if you've never even heard of half the things on a job vacancy then it's probably not for you.

How do you switch from testing while debugging (functional) to TDD unit tests?

Usually I test while coding by just running the use case and making sure while coding, bad inputs are caught/handled.

But most times I start with a general idea of the structure and what the about should be (which essentially would be the functional test case?)

I don't think about how you can break each part or the functions I need until I need them. Then usually start simple and then refactor. And until I'm sure each time I refactor would require changing the tests?

started to try out xamarin. a ideal way to write it once and use it in 3 apps. on windows all was fine. android sdk adn ndk installed everything ok. starts to looked at ios hmm, you need mac to build project, simulate. oh wait even the UI designer you need mac pc.

WTF is going on here, are you serious apple. come to think of it, now i get how apple sales numbers are high. when developers and companies need to by apple pc in order to make a fucking app for them. but that's not all you need to pay 100euro a year to publish the app.

I’m a very logical person (INTP), so that’s probably why I like coding, and it definitely affects my relationships. I’m not very emotional, and that’s an issue when your partner demands you to be. When I’m down I make a plan in my head how I’ll deal with that issue and that lifts me back up. But there are people who simply need to be lied to telling them things will be just okay. So, yeah. I need to find girls who are also logical at least to some extent.

Why the fuck does Windows still not have a fcking decent package manager?

I hear you "but but but, there is Chocolatey, it's great, try it!". Well yeah if you only want binaries.

But I do need to, you know, develop and compile things, and without includes, code, and a reliable way to produce working binaries from that, it's useless.

Guess who needs to download dependencies one by one, compile them one by one?

Don't get me started on broken MinGW, or the "recommended" way of doing a bat script to have proper includes (what the hell, that's the entire purpose of env variables), or the fact that there is NO convention on where to install things.

The PM decides to know everything, until I ask them something. „oh this is too technical for me, go somewhere else for the answer“.

Excuse me? You know what they need but do you know why they need JUST LIKE THAT??!? Every project starts to feel like a fucking scam

I would love to build apartment buildings and sell them.

but ofcourse id need a lot of money to start such a thing. hey what if i work as a dev for a while so i could afford that.

years and years later... var_dump($bug)

So fucking stressed. I've been working on multiple projects at the same time, most of which have no clear goals because the one who assigned them to me doesn't know a shit. Everything is done superficially and without purpose but to make money. I need a break, a long one, and after that the only thing I will have to do is find a new job.

I connected oven to wifi using application on my phone but application on my phone didn’t connected to oven.
So now I need to disconnect oven from wifi to connect oven to my phone.
I connected dishwasher last month, first I needed to take a photo of qr code and send it to my laptop to be able to scan it cause it was to small and dishwasher app didn’t recognized it. Looks like dishwasher decided to disconnect from wifi this week so I need to repeat the whole process again.
I also bought connected washing machine and fridge but I think I will try to connect them next month when I manage hopefully to connect my oven.
Seriously home appliances iot is complete shit. Looks like there is no wide known standard of establishing connection so everyone is doing it on it’s own. All this security procedures to connect something to your local network are crap. I hope oven won’t disconnect from wifi.

I hate it when companies got 5 payment options while 4 of them basically lead to a credit card payment.

I'm renting some servers from Vultr and they recently changed something in their payment protocol. Now you need a credit card, even while paying with PayPal, and I don't have a credit card. Using their BTC option doesn't work either since my wallet tells me they are using an incompatible payment protocol (error reason, address & amount) . There is not even a wallet address shown through their BTC checkout to which I could directly send the amount to. You need to open the website on the device your wallet is stored on and then make the payment (so no address is required from their side). Account management is taking a look at it now, I got very quick replies back from their support but this is the first time I'm having such an issue with them.

Oh well, hope they won't take down my servers in the meantime.

Ok. Vim is absolutely brilliant. But sublime in vintage mode ( sublime text with some of the vim capabilities ) is more brilliant. Today I just found out that this code editor (sublime) has this feature implemented and I'm happier than ever. I will use both of them and I won't need any over text editor ( although I have to try to emacs and spacemacs ).

Not a rant but wanted to get some thoughts from everyone.

I have health problems and unfortunately just had a seizure a few days ago.... Below is directed at my managers. They are nice guys and when I do get back I need them to accommodate although I feel the entire team should be run like this.

Now taking a step back, I see I need to reestablish my way of doing things/mojo. I cannot handle constant chaos and changes. I have to be in a calm, relaxed environment where I can think and enjoy coding: finding and building solutions. That's the summary of how I got into programming and learned to pick things up.

Furthermore, the ideas of the Phoenix Project and what I've shared over the years are actually what I need to be able to perform and excel. Probably the same for everyone and a good way to preempt burnout. It's just in this case, I am the first to go. I cannot be jumping around all the time and need to establish a comfort/expertise zone (but I do and can extend out when given enough time and opportunity).

I'm thinking the EU team probably operates like this, in a calm and orderly environment, less the rare issues.

Do you usually spend some of your time learning new programming language/pattern/technology? I mean, I am not the type of person who does same thing over and over again, also like learning new things (I spend a lot of time per month studying new things), trying to get experience and trying new technics, but other side of me thinks that I need to be the best in one of them... My mind flashes blue screen of death sometimes when I am thinking about this...

Mom and dad randomly came home and bought me a brand new 15 pro max as a gift for starting my first devops job on 15th december... I didnt ask for this. Nor do i urgently need it. I wanted to buy it myself when i earn money. But i cant be ungrateful so ill be humble and appreciate this gift. I feel bad for them, they are broke and are now paying off this phone for 2 years every month. additional unnecessary stress of money shit on top of their back and i dont like that. Need to give them back as soon as i earn from this shit job and also buy my mom the same phone for her bday thats in 3 months

I have a bookshelf full of tech books. What should I do with outdated ones? What approach should I take to buying new ones? A lot of them are probably irrelevant now. Things that don't change significantly are fine (I have old C++ and Make books whose content is still relevant even if some new stuff is missing) but web development has evolved significantly and I'm reluctant to get anything framework related due to needing to replace books frequently.

I could get ebooks, but having tried a few, I much prefer a physical book.

In the case of old books I no longer need, I can recycle them (as waste paper, or at a book recycling place) or donate them to a charity shop. It seems silly to recycle them as waste paper, but on the other hand I doubt the content will be that useful to others nor will it be that useful in a charity shop!

So instead they just sit on my shelf and remain unused...

What do you folks do with your books when you don't need them any more?

Used own fake/spam mail to sign up here... (real address I kept for several years)

Wants to get stickers but need to send them real name and address with this email account..

Well fuck :~

What would it take to connect two Raspberry Pi's together via Ethernet ports? I want to make a low latency network connection between them, for Retropie Netplay.

I have a background in Python and some Linux, but I'm not well versed in raspi's.

I imagine that it would be limited to 100mb/s if I used raspberry pi zeros with adapters. And I would probably need an router since they aren't setup to be both hosts with the default setup?