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*computer fell, broken in pieces*
Me calling [Microsoft] tech support: hey can you check my warranty on this computer, I think I broke it?
Tech support: yes sir but we must first go through the troubleshooting steps,
Me: no, no I just-
Tech support: have you tried pressing F8 sir?
Me: umm… no, look I'm just -
Tech support: sir please press the F8 key sir
Me: okay… I pressed it, now can you just check my-
Tech support: sir please what happened when you pressed F8?
Me: it's broken, now if you could just check my warranty -
Tech support: sir I'm sorry sir I think you did it wrong. Please press F8
Me: no just check my-
Tech support: sir I think you do not understand, sir it is at the top-
D: “Did the attackers exfiltrate any data?”
M: “I can’t say for sure, but most likely based on—”
D: “—but did you find any undeniable evidence of it?”
M: “Keep in mind that the absence of evidence isn’t necessarily evidence of absence. There was very limited logging to begin with and the attacker erased artifacts and logs.”
D: “If there’s no evidence, then there was no exfiltration.”
M: “If a business doesn’t have cameras on its front door and then gets robbed, it can’t claim there was no robbery just because they didn’t video-record it.”
D: “That’s a poor analogy. Nothing’s missing here. I couldn’t care less if a robber made a *copy* of my money. That isn’t robbery.”
M: “... If the Titanic really hit an iceberg, then how come no pieces of an iceberg were ever found in the wreckage?”19
Finally got the last of the hardware pieces for my pi book pro in today. Figured out how I'm going to lay it out and now to make custom cables to connect it all :D This old MacBook may yet breathe new life!21
At Job interview.
Interviewer: Where do you see yourself in 10 years?
Me: I see myself as the leader of a raider group, robbing and scavenging together pieces of what is left of the civilization in hopes to build a weapon powerful enough to take the world back from a rogue AI, which I built myself few years earlier.
I always like to approach a new coding project by concentrating on the data model first. I've seen a lot of projects built on extremely convoluted database structures and it really hurts because it makes it hard to add new features to the project.
So I look at the requirements of the new project and try to come up with a basic data model. Then I like to think about what logical future additions to the project could be. And using those, I try to see if the data model is flexible enough to be able to handle those additions fairly easily or if complex migrations or hacks would be needed to account for new use cases and features.
I think once you have a solid data structure and database technology, planning out an API or rest of the software is pretty straight forward. I like to create reusable pieces of middleware early on in the project which makes it easy to apply consistent functionality with ease to different API endpoints.8
YELLED AT FOR 45 FUCKING MINUTES OVER OTHER PEOPLE’S FUCKUPS
IF YOU PIECES OF SHIT WANT ME TO DO SOMETHING, FUCKING SAY IT. WRITE IT THE FUCK DOWN IN THE FUCKING TICKET.
AND IF YOU WANT A FUCKING DEMO, SCHEDULE THE FUCKING THING, AND STOP FUCKING CANCELING THEM. DON’T BLAME ME WHEN IT’S YOUR FUCKING FINGER ON THE FUCKING CANCEL BUTTON EVERY. FUCKING. WEEK.
AND SERIOUSLY, DON’T FUCKING EXPECT ME TO DROP MY LAST FUCKING TICKET THE AFTERNOON BEFORE VACATION FOR SOME LOW-PRIOIRTY CRAP BECAUSE SUDDENLY IT’S ALL THE RAGE INSIDE YOUR TINY DUMBASS HEAD. BUT OH BOO FUCKING HOO, @ROOT DIDN’T DO WHAT I ASKED WHEN I WAS BEING A FUCKING MORON! GO FUCK YOURSELF YOU FUCKING STUCK-UP IDIOT
AND FUCK BOZO THE CLOWN BOSS FOR BLAMING ME FOR THE FUCKING IDIOT’S BRUISED FUCKING EGO
FUCK THE LOT OF YOU39
"Don't waste your time writing code. Browse on github looking for pieces of code, they're all well written over there."
My experience while learning C#:
>trying to print an HTML element of a website to console
>changes a few things in code
>runs code multiple times
>still doesn't work
>looks closely at code
>wait a second
>walks to wireless printer
>finds nearly 10 pieces of paper on the floor
>I hate myself5
Me: *enters password on phone (long PIN)*
Person next to me is looking at my phone WHILE I enter my password, and as I look at him, he doesn't even turn away and even has the nerve to say:
"Wow, why do you have such a long password!"
Μy answer: "Because of security reasons."
What I actually wanted to say:
"Because of pieces of SHIT like you who can't keep their eyes to themselves, even when PASSWORDS are involved, you FUCK! Guess why everytime I enter a password in public, I have to dim my screen and turn my screen sideways? Because of fuckheads like you, not knowing shit about privacy and security! Fuck you!"7
Crap. The DVD drive of my pc has eaten one of my CD's. Well, most of it. Those 2 pieces are the only ones coming out of the drive. 😕23
It's been a while since I posted here. My previous workplace was a 101 on how to burn out people.
But now I am working at a place where:
- People are 0 toxic.
- Sprints follow the premise "under promise, over deliver."
- I was having trouble sleeping (for reasons) a couple of months ago, and my boss literally told me, "If you can't sleep at night, take a few days, or if you can fall asleep in the morning, just sleep in the morning until you manage to do otherwise. Talk with your team and rearrange the meetings if you have and rest. "
- All pieces of the company (sales, narketing, product, data, devs) have a clean roadmap.
- Product and bizz understand when something can't be done on the next sprint and why sometimes some features are delayed.
- They pay well, even raising the pay twice to account for inflation.
- Full remote, If I want to go to the office, Its my choice.
I need to keep this job no matter what!10
Ok, so, to every pieces of shit out there that got a "revolutionary idea that will change the way we look at things" and who asks you to code it :
Fuck you, you sons of a cunt
No, i won't make your app on 3 different platforms for free, i'll make you pay for every platform you wanker, i'm a freelancer, i need money.
No, making database is not something that a little business cunt like you can handle, you don't even know what sql means
And fuck no, I won't make that shit in 2 weeks just because your peabrain thinks that it'll make mad dosh and that "It MusT bE eAsy to Do!!111", "a dating app but with a twist" won't work you gobeshit
If you want me to work on this shit, you give me money, specs and shit, you handle the rest, if it doesn't make money, it'll be your problem. I'm not your employee you wanker
I can type the password for the SSH key to my servers while drunk.
Muggles can't type the fucking email address while sober.
WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?!!! Is it really that fucking hard?!!! Pieces of shit!!7
I've just made an attempt to fix the Python repository in response to that ridiculous master/slave PR. Please support the issue! You can find it at https://github.com/python/cpython/.... Thanks!
Issue got immediately locked. I'll try my best to maintain a community fork at https://github.com/toloveru/cpython. Fucking pieces of shit they are.. seriously, if at all possible, do not use my repository. Just stop using Python altogether. This is madness.16
I very very rarely drink, but when I do I party hard.
I negotiated an entire piece of complex web architecture (really huge, works at 50k transactions per second), with my boss who's a lead architect, from a bar (he thought I was home), while moderately drunk.
It got me a lotta praise and till date it's one of the best pieces of software I've ever written. It saved the company 500+ hours or something #humblebrag.
To this day I have no recollection of what I said (huge hangover after) or how I managed to come up with that shit. I don't think I'd have been able to do it sober. The sheer size of the problem would've made me go "yea it works, I'm not touching that. Nope."
DAE notice any increase in pattern recognition in their code while drunk?1
managers: We're all aligned! Let's work as a team and get this started!
managers and devs meeting to discuss next features: * canceled by managers *
managers: (word for word, can't make this shit up) we cancelled the meeting, we will define the roadmap for everyone
> WE will define the roadmap for EVERYONE
devs: uh wtf???
one hour later, managers: guys we are defining the roadmap can we have a call to discuss?
fucking asshat, insolent, disrespectful pieces of shit3
When you come back to the first link you found googling and only now you understand it because of the bits and pieces you gathered meanwhile.3
I'm gonna start a software company and cleverly split up the work into pieces so that I can present them to potential employees as "coding challenges" during the interview and never actually hire them.3
Every fucking time its the same shit:
Our nontechnical managers meet with the client and try to pass technical requirements to us..
These pieces of shit don't get that this only makes things worse.
Making everyone waste fucking time trying to understand requirements that would be a lot fucking easier if any of us were is any fucking meeting.
But nooooo... We have to fucking be the whole team in fucking meetings with these cock suckers so they can realize they didn't get shit and the back and forth bullshit begins:
We ask questions
They don't know
They schedule meeting with client
They ask their moronic way
The client answers
They schedule meeting with us
We ask questions...
And this fucking loop goes on for-fucking-EVER!
Me: Hey can I take a byte
Friend: Sure, here
*bites 8 pieces*
Friend: Dude I said 1 not eight!
Me: You said I can take a byte :(
Based off my imagination6
I'M NOT HELPDESK. I CAN'T FIX YOUR BROWSER OPTIONS. I LOVE YOU TO FUCKING PIECES BECAUSE YOU STOP THE INCREDIBLY FUCKING STUPID CALLS, BUT I CAN'T HELP YOU and now I feel like a prick. Call your boss and make him do his fucking job. Please. I don't want to scream at you. I need you in my life...10
Fucking pieces of shit, if I would have a list of developers that add "Whoopsie daisy, tinky winky compiling stuffie" as error messages, installer steps or as a checkbox in their github issues, I'd break their fucking back and keep them alive, just to ram fucking burning nails into their eyelids and then blast just enough power through them to make them burn and evaporate alive.4
So this client wanted a very specific layout, with a very specific keycaps set. And an ALT function that would print the "shrug" text emoji.
Say hello to this
64 key, full CNC aluminum case
Gateron Ink Black switches (lubed)
Super thiccc 2.5 mm brass plate,
MT3 profile Susuwatari set.
Love the profile and how they keycaps hug your finger up while typing.
I think it might be time for me to gather pieces to build my own as a gift in the future24
"Join us over the next pages -"
Well fuck you. How about I tell you to suck my cock in 6 rounds for wanketeering purposes, how'd you like that? Fucking pieces of shit.13
Make two of everything. So when one project tanks you can pick up the pieces and improve the second project.5
Fucking stupid arrogant pieces of whale shit in a Node.js group I'm on Facebook, whenever someone posts an issue he/she is having I try to help, I'm far away from a senior but I like to share my knowledge helping others but everytime the post contains a screenshot of windows or the user says it is running on windows all this fucking pendejos blame the OS and instead of replying about what the issue/solution could be they pinches always say:
"oh it's because you are in windows that is shit" -fucking amhed ramadamalamabin
"dude you have to use Linux if you don't want issues Linux is best" -stupid juanito sombrero loco (I'm Mexican don't take it personal)
Can you fucking bitchy please help this poor developers with the actual issue and not fucking say Linux this Linux that when it doesn't fucking even have to do with or is related with the issue? Goddamn
Have a nice day.10
OMFG GOD BOSS!! JUST TELL ME ALREADY EVERYTHING I HAVE TO FUCKING KNOW ABOUT THIS FUCKING FEATURE!
EVERY FUCKING TIME I FINISH IT YOU GIVE ME SOME DETAIL THAT I HAVE TO REWORK PIECES OF IT!!
DUMB PIECE OF SHIT!!!3
I FUCKING HATE PEOPLE WHO ALWAYS BUY NEW STUFF WHEN THEIR OLD THINGS WORK PERFECTLY FINE!
FFS PEOPLE ARE JUST FUCKING PIECES OF SHIT NOWADAYS! I MEAN, FIRST THEYRE LIKE, oh we need to save the planet bla bla.... THEN THEIR LIKE!
OMFG! NEW IPHONE X WOLOLO MUST HAVE! OMG MY OLD PHONE IS WORKING PERFECTLY FINE BUT ITS THE NEW IPHONE OMG!
I MEAN! COME FUCKING ON! WHAT IDIOTS! IF ITS WORKING, KEEP IT!
God damn it. Today i took my laptop to school and you cant guess how many people though i’m a hacker. It’s quite annoying. But just because you use linux doesnt mean you are a hacker! You uneducated pieces of dumbass!!!!10
Me a year ago:
// Pieces together a deadbeat crappy php-script
"Man... PHP is shit"
// Gets paid to create controllers for php framework applications
"Man... PHP is THE shit!"4
I've been tasked to do website debugging.
For Internet Explorer 11.
On a Mac.
I have to use a virtual machine to get Windows on a mac just so I can test on internet explorer.
This mac is not fast.
This virtual machine is even less fast.
The internet explorer on this virtual machine on this mac is the least fast.
Even worse, this website is a pile of garbage. It's slower than my grandma.
My grandma is dead.
You can't get any slower than that, so I thought.
But then I got introduced to the result of making a wordpress site with over 300 pieces of media and 20 plugins.
If you are one of the people that's smart enough to stay away from wordpress: I assure you that it fucks your site up beyond repair.
So anyway, how was your day?3
That feeling when your client connection is more stable than the connection of a fucking game server... Incompetent pieces of shit!!! BEING ABLE TO PUT A COUPLE OF SPRITES DOESN'T MAKE YOU A FUCKING SYSADMIN!!!
Oh and I sent those very incompetent fucks a mail earlier, because my mailers are blocking their servers as per my mailers' security policy. A rant from the old box - their mail servers self-identify a fucking .local!!! Those incompetent shitheads didn't even properly change the values from test into those from prod!! So I sent them an email telling them exactly how they should fix it, as I am running the same MTA on my mailers (Postfix), at some point had to fix my mailers against the exact same issue as well, and clearly noticed in-game that they have deliverability problems (they explicitly mention to unblock their domain). Guess why?! Because their server's shitty configuration triggers fucking security mechanisms that are built against rogue mailers that attempt to spoof themselves as an internal mailer, with that fucking .local! And they STILL DIDN'T CHANGE IT!!!! Your fucking domain has no issues whatsoever, it's your goddamn fucking mail servers that YOU ASOBIMO FUCKERS SHOULD JUST FIX ALREADY!!! MOTHERFUCKERS!!!!!2
Feel like a god!
I've made an API service that returns a list of countries based on a temperature range that they will have within the next 10 days for spur of the moment holidays.
It even finds you the cheapest possible flight ticket from your location to it.
So many nights were spent raging since I had never touched node js until 9 weeks ago and I have other huge pieces of work on the burner.
Once it's finished and works properly, how does one market such a service?9
My friend was approached by a client who insisted that his website should be in WordPress to facilitate future maintainability.
That's how y'all end up having to maintain those awful pieces of mess. Blame the client, not the developer.7
Seriously, look at this guy’s bloody phone. He’s not letting go of it, it’s been like this for ages. He’s got missing pieces of glass above the lcd, there are cracks all over, sellotape all over. At some point you gotta realise it’s affecting the user experience.
If you don’t want to get a new phone, at least have the screen replaced!!26
*wondered for 4 years how a bootloop looks like*
Nexus: yOU wAnE kNoW wHaT a BoOtLoOp LoOkS LiKe?!
*bootloops itself to shit*
Well I guess that I know what I'll be doing tonight then. Flash that new StatixOS build because the phone shat itself.
*tries to reflash the recovery*
*tries to flash the stock OS*
*still fucking bootloops*
*finds a post on XDA saying something about fucked big cores that need to be disabled*
Fucking piece of junk. So not only the battery is shit, but also the CPU is shit, huh. Certified pieces of shit.
*flashes the patched boot.img that disables the big cores*
*phone loads Google logo.. good*
*BOOTLOOPS FUCKING AGAIN*
MJHUIETHNIUBESZPTUIBG ESVGU d
FUCK!!! Fuck you Google, fuck you Nexus, fuck you Huawei, HOW DIFFICULT CAN IT BE TO DESIGN A FUCKING PHONE?!!!
So yeah. Looking for suggestions for a new phone. Anything of which the kernel source is released and of which the battery is halfway decent (unlike this fucking piece of shit) should do.7
GDPR: great law, except for those who use technology (JS blockers, tracking protection, etc etc) to fight other technology (cookies, trackers, etc etc). Welcomed by the general public, but for content publishers it is a royal pain in the ass. Because did the EU provide non-legalese explanations as to how to become compliant? Of course they didn't. Why would they? But of course lawyers jumped on it like it's the best thing in the world. "GDPR-experts".
Now, article 11 and 13 again. Copyright law taken to ridiculous levels, impossible to implement, except for maybe Google, Microsoft and Facebook. Anyone else? Of course not. Again, a lot of money has to be involved with it. Does anyone want this thing? Of course not. And why the fuck is this still a thing even?! Did direct lobbying to the EU Parliament members a few months ago not teach them anything?! Senile pieces of shit. Should those old fucks really be able to decide about the future of the internet?4
With my middle finger I salute you, motherhuggers. You filthy hugging pieces of hugging shit.
7 hugs so far, oh wait 8! Will this rant defeat my current record on amount of hugs given that apparently stands at 18 (which is hugging incredible, if I may say so myself)? Not that that's really the hugging point though, the hugging GDPR that's responded at by those motherhugging hugwads is. I hugging salute you, hugging pieces of hugging shit!!!
JIRA. Fucking JIRA. Everybody just fucking hates it. It tops the list of shit pieces of software by a fair margin, followed by JIRA in second place and JIRA in 3rd. It's fucking unusable without superpowers and endless patience. It does whatever it goddamn pleases and randomly sends your precious input that you so carefully crafted anxiously avoiding to press one wrong key to the happy hunting grounds.
Fuck you, JIRA.
- Every developer. Really every.17
WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCKING FUCK MICROSOFT?!!
I go to log into my laptop:
me: *enter the pin*
me: Ok let's try the password...
Win: WRONG PASSWORD!
me: *checking my password manager* Nope, pretty sure that's correct... Ok, whatever let's try to reset it.
me: *generates new password and resets the password for the account*
Windows: You can now log in
me: *enters the new password*
Windows: WRONG PASSWORD!
me: that's weird... let's try that again
Windows: WRONG PASSWORD!
me: Ok... reset once more *I enter the same password I generated before*
Windows: ThAt Is An OlD pAsSwOrD
me: *getting really pissed* FINE, GODDAMIT, HERE, NEW PASSWORD
Windows: You can now log in
me: *enters the new new password*
Windows: wRoNg PaSsWoRd!
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
YOU FUCKING INCOMPETENT CUNTS AT MICROSOFT!!!!!1!!!!!!!
I'M GONNA FUCKING TEAR YOU INTO THOUSAND PIECES AND THEN RUN YOU THROUGH A SHREDDER!!
YOU MOTHERFUCKING IDIOTIC CUNTS
!dev && rant
"To the energy consumer of this residence"
This better be something official, even though electricity is provided by solar panels here, and that as well as water and gas are part of the rent.
"AD: GET A CHEAPER ENERGY CONTRACT!!!"
Fuck you. If only you addressed it properly, you would've known that I pay exactly €0 for energy. Try and beat that, will you?!
Anyway, that's one way to avoid liability for sending crap to people who explicitly mention "no unaddressed spam" on their mailbox I guess... Pieces of shit.5
Motherfucker, every fucking meeting on this project we have a fucking 3 week deadline to accomplish the fucking impossible.
And now they practically want me to rewrite the whole fucking application.
And my fucking boss can't fucking shut the fuck up and keep having "ideas" on new thing.
YEU FUKCING STUPID PIECES OF SHIT!!! HOW CAN WE ADD SHIT WHEN EVERYTHING IS HALF ASSED BECAUSE WE DONT STOP ADDING SHIT? FUCK YOU!7
Great background music, pretty much a pinned tab of mine now: https://generative.fm/
"Endlessly unique ambient music"
"The pieces featured on this site are not recordings. The music is generated by a different system created for each piece. These systems have been designed such that each performance is unique and plays continuously without repetition."2
Dev: There’s a file in your PR with over 1000 lines of code, I think it should be broken apart into a couple smaller pieces to be a little more in line with the single responsibility principle
Muppet Dev: That file only has one responsibility! It can’t be broken apart!
Dev: How’s that?
Muppets: It’s single responsibility is managing that group of functionality
Saw this on facebook programing group.
Someone ask how to start being programmer.
Then someone replied, get a 5000 pieces of puzzle, and then finish it until it complete.4
Fuck public transit. If I see on Google Maps that there's gonna be a bus at that place, at that time, there better be a goddamn fucking bus AT THAT PLACE, AT THAT FUCKING TIME!!! No instead let's scrap some shitty lines!
HOW ABOUT WE START SCRAPPING SERVICES JUST BECAUSE WE FEEL LIKE IT, HUH?! Back to postal mail and newspapers you go! You know what, for such fuckers let's just cut their entire internet access. Fucking pieces of shit!!!5
The best part about being a dev is solving problems with an infinite number of pieces, with people who are 10,000 times better than I am, from wherever I want. I get paid to basically play with Legos all day.
Hard to find that.3
Dropping out of school. So many lost years on keeping up with stupid and incompetent shits, with the piece of paper at the finish line not obtained. I did that twice and lost.. what, 5 years on that? Time I could've spent doing self-study instead. I'm not saying that anyone else should drop out - don't! - but for me, going to school doesn't seem worth it when I can learn on my own, and do it much faster. Unfortunately however those stupid pieces of paper are still regarded as valuable by some.. so whether refusing to get those is a good or a bad idea, only time can tell...10
I can't breathe good air anymore. Water is being wasted. Fossil fuels are being wasted. Unnecessarily high number of vehicles on roads and most them have fucking one person sitting in them. They take out a fucking vehicle for fucking 200m. People throw trash everywhere without any regard for cleanliness. Prices are going up. Inefficient shit pieces exist in the market and people buy that shit. The world is going to hell. I hope I die soon enough to not know that is has.26
* Got an epileptic seizure
* fell down
* broke my left humerus top to 3 pieces
* bone pieces will be held together with titanium plates/screws tomorrow with surgery
* need some good wishes although I am hardcore materialist
* thanks in advance.17
Some people say they use dark themes because it looks cool, but we all know it's for when you're up late programming and don't want your eyes shot to pieces.11
Fuck you European union. You cunt smelling, ass licking, pieces of dog shit. Thank you so fucking much for taking yet another step towards closing the 'Web and making it harder for smaller people to exist on it.
I wish you all a slow and painful death just like the death you are sentencing the free 'Web to.
I started programming 7 years ago, but I downloaded my first tutorials on programming in C++ already back in 2000. I had read maybe 4 pieces of literature, didn't understand anything, because it taught things in this order 1, "So, say you want to create a cat?", no I don't. I want to make a useful program.
2, "then you have make a constructor and a destructor", makes sense since that perfectly replicates nature, not,
3, "then you can define a method in the class that enables your cat to meow", eeeh no it doesn't make a sound, what it does however is print a series of characters even less useful than "Hello World" to stdout.
Then I found assembler and it all made sense! 😀
When you replace all PC fans with Noctua 6dB pieces and the noise-maker becomes your 3TB WD Red...
I've never thought I'll want to get rid of my hdd because of noise
*wrong tag. My bad20
Designer: in an effort to create our brand identity we've come up with a design pattern to use across Android, iOS, and web.
Me: this design goes against material design principles which we agreed we'd use. Also it looks like a mashup of iOS and Windows 10
Designer: just because it looks like an iOS/Windows 10 mashup doesn't mean it was designed for those platforms; it was designed as our brand for all platforms. We feel very strongly about keeping it, specifically the pieces that make you feel uncomfortable as an Android developer
I love it when companies take 3 weeks to reply to their mail.
I love it when said company plans in a meeting during a 3 hour period, any moment through which they could arrive and you have to be available for.
Additionally, I love seeing companies use an @gmail.com for their business mail. The professionalism just oozes off of a Gmail account, when it's used for business-related stuff.
I love this kind of professionalism. So professional, much business.
Get a fucking domain already. And MAINTAIN YOUR FUCKING MAIL!! And why the FUCK am I waiting for these incompetent motherfuckers to arrive already, for 90 bloody motherfucking minutes that are way overtime for me as I've been awake for fucking 18.5 hours already?! Fucking incompetent pieces of shit.8
I fucking love HP.
Why, you may ask, given that I've ranted about their crap so many times now? Great question!
I love HP because every time I go to town on their hardware because yet again it got me infuriated somehow, I don't feel bad about it afterwards. Instead I feel oddly satisfied, liberated from another piece of crap from them. And besides, usually it's their or Acer's shitty hardware that gets me worked up anyway.
That said, fuck you HP. Filthy Microsucking pieces of shit.
.. anyway. I've just went around disassembling an old vacuum cleaner this morning, to liberate its 800W single phase AC motor. I'll probably have to underrun it with a step-down transformer but at e.g. 200VAC it should probably work no problem 🙂12
Fuck Apple. You'd think at least a Keynote is something that they make available to the plebs, but nah, you need Safari or Edge to watch it. Fuck your fucking proprietary bullshit, you fucking elitist pieces of shit.7
My trusty old Nexus 5 had a broken microphone for a long time (only worked on speaker phone) and a couple of weeks ago the display died as well. Yesterday, I decided that I can't afford a new one so I took it apart. After a while I had successfully repaired both the microphone and display with small pieces of tissue paper. I guess anything is possible when you're a stubborn problem solver!10
one of my kids has a sleep problem, night terrors.
she wakes up in the middle of the night and just screams and says nonsensical shit.
we live in an apartment and our understanding old pieces of shit neighbors have complained already in the past.
no matter what you do, she'll increase the intensity every minute. you can hug, you can sing, you can ignore, you can try to soothe. She'll still screamcry.
We also have a 8 month old that obviously reacts by crying.
So imagine that, you're there, calmly sleeping, well into your deep sleep, and suddenly a symphony of pain and suffering visits you, and destroys your emotions in a couple of minutes.
I'm not even fully conscious to adjust. It just strikes me really hard.
I think it's a 6 in the scale of mental pain for me.
Anyhow, other people have a higher threshold, this is my experience.6
Thank you windows update and Lenovo for trying to update my bios and failing in the process.
Now this computer that doesn’t even show bios. Fucking bitch ass pieces of shit.
Stay the fuck away from my bios windows, you shit eating trash of an os.12
Certified Enganeers: 0, Internet Connectivity Issues: 1
Those idiots couldn't even understand why I'd connected a second router (a DLink DIR 816) for better WiFi than their default garbage modem/router. And one of them told me that he'd login to the router by "putting the address in Google" (and proceeded to type 192.168.1.251 in the search bar, after I explained to him that Firefox was a browser too, just like Chrome -.-)
And they didn't even fix the problem, which is most probably on their end since everything checks out here. Brilliant. More shitty 3G/4G for me.
YOU CERTIFIED PIECES OF CRAP4
Thanks to DevRant, you have saved hundreds of monitors from getting smashed, keyboards from getting torn into pieces and mouses being flung across the rooms! There is a platform for rants now!3
Hey Google, maybe I'd subscribe to YouTube Premium if you weren't throwing midroll ads into my tutorials every 3:45.
It's stupid, because they're trying so hard to annoy me into subscribing that they've done the opposite and annoyed me into NOT subscribing. I'd have considered it before, but ever since their recent changes it's so frickin' annoying that I refuse to subscribe just on principle because I won't financially support those pieces of trash anymore than absolutely necessary.18
I think I need to get away from web development...
Honestly, no grudge held against web/mobile development itsef... But the projects, the teams, the workflows... It's always shitty af.
I'm fed up with the bad architecture, poor management decisions, unmaintained legacy code, broken windows, arrogant juniors, arrogant seniors, code smells left to rot, the freaking red door... Hell! The fucking "we don't have time for that" answer to testing... Damn!
Been there done that.
Feels like it's always the same crap and unfortunately, it's rare to start a professional project from scratch.
Fucking angular, broken piece of shit.
Fucking react (& RN) community modules, broken pieces of shit.
Fucking lazy-ass node developers.
Fucking ES and fucking garbage proposals submitted to the TC39.
I wish I could do Haskell / Rust / Clojure professionally... I could even enjoy Go with a good team... Anything but that huge pile of dogshit JS and its community of brainfucked so-called developers.10
> Telegram bot
> Whatsapp bot
> Domino game in terminal (Unfinished from last year)
> Bubble shooter game using c & allegro 5 (Unfinished from last year)
> Android Notability-like app with more features
> Program that increases youtube video views
> Android animal space invaders
> Own website/portfolio
> Our company app (includes daily euro-peso exchange rates, guidelines and other stuff about the company)
ive had other ideas but i started losing them cause i wrote them in several small pieces of paper. starting to think of i'll start to have a notebook dedicated to "ideas"7
One of the more memorable computer problems I solved were when I added some lego blocks to solve a recurring windows bluescreen
A friend had a Pentium 3 (slot 1) that kept throwing him several bluescrens per day so I decided to help
I open up the computer and saw that the processor were not properly securred in it's place and the plastic pieces that should have holding it in place were gone, so I improvised pressing in some lego pieces that I found somewhere to secure that the processor didn't move if someone were walking close to the computer and after that he didn't have any more bluescreens than the rest of us4
Worst technology I've ever worked with?
The error riddled, varchar frenzy, disgusting ui, os and architecture dependent pieces of shit, powered by the cherry on top: fucking VBA, that are applications developed with this monstrosity have kept me awake trying to understand why on earth would anyone that is not dying of cancer already would use such thing to try to build anything.
I had to deal with load of Access applications when I first started at my current company. Whats left now are mainly legacy systems, I killed them one by one and whatever's left will suffer the same punishment.
If you develop in Access you're my enemy and I will destroy you.6
New country, new company, new team, new projects.
I'm supposed to be the TL of a team working on a React project.
A guy in his late 40s celebrates himself as "the senior", he basically just finished watching a youtube thing, React 101 crash course or similar. The other two juniors who did only Wordpress so far venerate him like a god.
The code, of course, is one on the finest pieces of crap I ever had the pleasure to deal with in my life: naturally a bunch of JQuery plugins for everything, no tests, no state management, side effects everywhere, shared state and globals like hell, everything written in ES3/ES5 style, no types, no docs, build and deploy totally manual, deep props drilling at every level... and not to mention the console.log() shipped in prod.
First day, already headache.
Full rewrite start tomorrow.
Hiring real devs as well.4
Just finished my first year of uni. I took an extra course on c# (mvc, entity framework) and android development in java. We learned a lot of stuff and at the end of the semester they held a contest. We had to develop an app respecting their specifications and add something from ourselves for extra points. Problem was that we were supposed to work on the project during our finals, which we didn't, finishing uni is on the first place. But we had a week after finals to work on it. I, like many others, slept very littlre during that week, only to work on that app, I worked for more than 13 hours a day to finish it (it was a pretty big app) and I was pretty happy with the end result. Today they were supposed to announce the apps that made it to the final. They just announced that no app deserves to be in the final. They know that we had finals, but that we could still do better. They just peed on our work, probably threw our code away, fucking +13 hours a day, 5-6 hours of sleep everyday, almost no fun for a whole week after finals, and they think no one deserves to win. Fuck them, fuck their shit contest. Fuck you essensys, I hope your devs read this, fuck you bell ends.5
2010: haha yeah I use StackOverflow too
2011: SO, amirite?
2012: omg SO servers are down
2013: am engineer and I use SO to remember how to eat and breathe
2014: guys, what if SO was down. CODEPOCALYPSE!
2015: I use SO and have imposter syndrome
2016: omg, git checkout this SO meme on /r/programmerhumor
2017: I'd rather skin my mother alive than have SO dowb
2018: Stack fucking Overflow... like.. what if... you... can't... use it... in an interview...
2019: check my twitter @paresh, tons of SO references with barely intelligible english
just fucking drop dead, pieces of shit...6
Was on a call today...nobody knew who owned or was responsible for one of the servers. My manager has a great way of finding out...he says "If I take my hammer and smash the server to pieces...who gets pissed." A moment of silence then someone speaks up..."Oh well then that would be Joe down the hall."
That my friends is how to get answers. Threaten to break things.5
-----During a 6 days official vacation with my family--------
Me: Hey boss, cozz o u, I fucked up my laptop.
Me: My wife threw it outside the hotel window and I see my laptops pieces now.
....a little pause....
I would love to do more of your work while I am on vacation.(inside my head: motherfucker never ask me to do that again) Do you mind sending me about $5000 so I can buy a laptop here and continue your work?5
I know it's not a story and also not a joke or meme but then also I want to share it because this gives me goose bumps
This photo won award for best photo and led the photographer into depression.
The cheetahs chased the mother deer and her 2 fawns(baby deers), the mother could've easily outrun cheetahs but instead she offered herself to cheetahs so that her kids can manage to run safety.
In this picture she is looking at her babies running safely as she is about to get torn into pieces.
She is about to get torn to pieces but she is dosen't look a bit hesitated.
That's mother for you!!42
As a self taught, I used to break what i want to learn into pieces and watch tutorials where people use these pieces. Then I could easily do what I learned, but I could do it exactly how I learned it from the tutorials.
Until one glorious day I found a tutorial about js that doesnt teach you the "how" of things but the "why" of things.
I cant describe how easy and in depth I understand js tutorials now. It is easier even when I have to learn a new framework.
It feels like I fast-forwarded my knowledge growth overnight.
I now see my 3 weeks old code and it disgusts me.6
Twitter made me delete my tweet, and temporarily disabled a bunch of features.
Because I called mgk a retard ? Or because i used the Eminem's version of rest in peace i.e. rot in pieces ?
Or because I used the word Killshot ?
It's the name of the fucking song !!!
Fuck you twitter !
Being an apprentice programmer in a Ludum Dare (Create a game in 72h) that knows more than the official programmer, and have an artist in the group who makes THIS PIECES OF ART!
She didn't even had a computer to work with it, neither she asked for one to the event, so eventually she used mine... And I could not do my work.
Did I mentioned that she used PAINT to color the images?
This is a long, looong story, I'll do the complete version soon...
git push origin stupid-long-feature-name
git pull origin develop
*Checks through all changes. No major conflicts. Accepts changes.*
*4 failing tests, none of them in pieces that I touched for my feature.*
*That's funny. QA was loaded from the develop branch, and everything works.*
*Actual data has dates from today. Expected data has dates from a week ago.*
Why are all these expected dates hard-coded‽
tl;dr The external development team committed 4 tests that would only ever pass on the day they were written.5
How I wasted my Sunday:
A programmer I know claimed that his Nodejs app was lightweight since it only relied on 2 dependencies (express and mongodb)
So I wrote a script to recursively transverse the npm dependency tree and count the number of dependencies there actually is
Installing those 2 packages alone means your app depends on 73 pieces of software in total
In conclusion, nothing written in Node is ever lightweight
Oh yeah, it was also Easter I guess8
Properly setting the height on my 3d printer and spending time tweaking settings? Nah.
Putting pieces of cardboard under the bed until it prints okay is the way to go1
New desk! :)
(Delays with my robot, if anyone's wondering, because I had to get a few pieces laser cut, and I was putting my new desk in)
Bad thing: I spilled booze on my fabrics yet again. I probably shouldn't drink from the couch or the bed anymore.
Good thing: I found out how to disassemble my tablet and removed its cameras.
Bad thing: front cam couldn't be removed without damaging some traces for a coax connection.
Bad thing: during disassembly I noticed significant amounts of corporate "fuck you" and certified enganeering. Like allowing the rubber back plates of the tablet to come off, but not get back on without percussive maintenance!!! FUCKING CERTIFIED PIECES OF SHIT!!!
Good thing: even after a lot of Tappy-tap-tap, the tablet still works without a problem. Hopefully I can now save some others from the shitstains by posting about it on the XDA thread 🤔
Overall verdict: FUCK!!!12
Want to log in? Sure, authorize your login. Oh you've authorized it? Nah you can't get in. Log in again.
2FA, excellent technology, except when it's implemented by "move fast and break things" Facebook.
Want to buy $listing? Sure, you can send a message to the seller to ask for details. Oh, you want to send them a message? Nah sorry, you can't send messages to this person. You'll have to go to their profile, send them a message there and do it not with our le fancy instant messages but by manually typing it in. Because you know, reasons. Message approvals or something like that probably. Because why on Earth would Facebook support its own ecosystem?!
Move fast and break things. And breaking things those certified enganeers at Facebook sure do. Fucking pieces of shit.7
My recent hobby is to deny permissions that an android app asks for and see the app break into pieces... I don't know how people can assume that user is going to provide access... 😑4
I love Test-Driven Development!
And because of that fact, my heart shatters into thousands of pieces, when I recognize error events on our production nodes which are pointing onto a golden hammer function in a legacy project.
This particular function has about 300 lines with a bunch of subfunction calls and instantiations of helper-classes returning information for workflow.
Refactoring this code to apply proper unit-tests requires a way bigger investment than simply deal with 30 eventlogs a day, because this kind of payment is barely used by customers of our webshop.
This fact is a little itch each day of my work.
Guess it will make me go insane one day
to all of you out there scared to get into a Dev position because of no formal education:
I don't have any finished formal education, just a bunch of experience from pet projects and free lance here and there. I applied for a position this morning, got an email before the afternoon with an invitation for an interview!
companies are looking for brains, not pieces of paper. just take the jump and try!5
Shaving with an old-style safety razor just rocks - that metal thing consisting of three pieces where a slotted, double edged razor blade fits in. With the good Russian Astra Platinum blades at 10 cent per piece where a hundred piece pack lasts for years. The whole thing can be fully dismantled and cleaned.
I can't understand why people use this modern overpriced Gillette shit at 2 EUR per piece that you can't even clean, with debris stuck in-between that starts to rot if you use the blade block more than once. Must be brainwashing by ads. Even worse for women who pay 50% extra for the pink version of that unhygienic shit.
Oh, and real shaving soap with a real shaving brush and not the canned aerosol garbage that doesn't really work anyway.8
I need to invent time travel so I can go back to Friday morning and slap my past self for thinking that Linux From Scratch might be a fun weekend project. I should've gone to bed four hours ago and instead I've been shouting at LLVM.
It really makes me appreciate the hard work that Linux distro maintainers put in to keep all the pieces up-to-date and compatible with each other. I already want to put my fist through my monitor and I'm only trying to maintain a single virtual machine.12
Personally I am starting to think that any development tools, resources and sites should not be allowed to use marketing dribble.
It should go
-> Land on home page
-> Hi, we are a realtime database cloud host
-> no you cannot host it yourself
-> here is code to speak to our servers
-> here is the cost
->now take it or go.
Something like that, and not
We provide clients with the leading cloud and hosted data solutions that can scale vertically and horizontally on and offline data management keeping people connected and saving kittens.
Fuck you show me one kitten you saved? Lying pieces of shit that do not want to just say hey this is what we have , this is ours, it may not be much but it is what we believe in and if you would like to use it here is how , thank you now move the fuck along our server can't handle so many concurrent connections.3
Fuck Azure, Fuck Windows, Fuck Microsoft.
Half ass baked products in the market. Half the time there's no documentation. When there's a documentation it is so bad that it makes me feel like biting my teeth so hard that I am left with fucking pieces of incisors. My blood fucking boils whenever I need to deal with "POWER"shell. Fucking weaklings.16
Fuck this client's IT department. They're a bunch of Microsoft asslickers.
How am I supposed to push code to your self-hosted GitLab instance if you restrict me to Citrix RDP????? No OpenVPN access because I'm on Linux?? Seriously? Because I am not using any of your laptops?
FUCK YOU DUMBASSES, I COULD DO A BETTER JOB THAN YOU AND I JUST PLAY WITH LINUX.
When I said I only needed terminal access I would have never imagined they were thinking of Putty inside an RDP. What a steaming shit.
Oh you guys don't have a secret management service as any enterprise should? Oh I cannot add a secret management service as part of the solution I am building for you guys because "Hurr Durr yOu HaVe NoT pUt ThIs In ThE pRoJeCt PrOpOsAl sO nO"
Fuck you guys. You guys only don't want to move to the cloud to not lose your jobs. I would be far more productive than relying on you pieces of dumbassery.
They are all having each others back in using shit technology and practices.7
So I went to the store earlier today and an autistic young lad gave me one of the best pieces of advice anyone has EVER given me.
“Don’t let the haters stare into your eyes 👀”.
It took me a few hours for it to sink in and I now understood what he meant.
I feel better, enlightened, much more in control since I heard that young lad tell me those wise words of wisdom.4
Just now when I'm watching one of the many anime's I've saved onto my file server I noticed something.. all of their files are incomplete, and so are they on the NTFS mirror on this WanBLowS host. The files got corrupted. I recall that I used robocopy to place the files back and forth, and yet again it lives up to its expectations of it being a motherfucking piece of Winshit. FUCK YOU ROBOCOPY!!! If I wanted to fetch that anime yet again just to deal with your developers' incompetence, I'd have watched it online!! Meanwhile tell me, HOW DIFFICULT IS IT TO DEAL WITH A NETWORK FILE TRANSFER THAT EVEN USES YOUR OWN SHITFEST OF A PROTOCOL, FUCKING SMB?!! MSFT certified pieces of shit!!!!7
I learned recently that you can inject SQL lines in some fields like Passwords or usernames on some websites. (Hacky hacky)
At work there is this intra website that is used to manage the parts of the radios and computers we repair.
Each piece has a specific number, and there is a tree with every pieces for each radio/computer.
When we get to repair one, we gotta change the pieces virtualy on the website. Sadly sometimes, the virtual pieces aren't marked like they followed the whole Radio from the place they come to the place we repair (we need it to replace the piece). People are just not doing their job, so we have to send emails and call for them do it so we can repair it. (This is already fucked up.)
Today, I had to replace a piece, but it was marked like it's not there. I called the guy, and it seems like he is on a vacation for weeks. My superior was super annoyed due to the urge of this task.
Guess who managed to change the _mainlocation_ of the _piece_ in the _radiopieces_ table. (Not actual names, you malicious cunt)
I spent 3 hours looking for the name of the fields and table. I don't know how many times I had to refresh the dam page to see I failed once again.
Hopefully I didn't have to guess all of them. Also the joy when I realised I succeed !!!
No one bats a eyes, and I'm here, feeling infinitely superior, as I might get punished for wanting to do my job.
I know it's basic moves to some of you, but dam it felt good.
Conclusion: Do what you have to, specially when it takes 5 minutes and people need it.11
I do not understand why everyone is so fanatic about stickers. Went to a conference one day and about 90% of all laptops had stickers and ich only wanted to free every of this small beautiful creatures from this ugly pieces of shit.7
Create my own company with the stuff I'm learning....
Been lacking that a lot , and with all the medication....
Else I would be dropping like one app a week, have my webportal already built, a few CNCs already producing pieces to sell...
I just saw an ad by a viral marketing agency thisventviral.net that sell a 16GB USB stick with an os image they call Xtra-PC for 29,60.
I immediately noticed that it seemes to be a simple USB boot stick with a Linux distro with a Windows like ui and OpenOffice and other software pre installed.
They guy took out his CD drive bay an claimed that he removed the hard disk. While odd his clames about faster speeds are obviously true because microshaft windows and office are bloated pieces of shit.
So this leaves me in the odd position that a viral marketing scam selling you over priced USB sticks and an image you probably could find for free, also makes people adopt Linux instead of the bloated shit. And that with people that won't notice any of the downsides of using Linux.
Wired position, should I hate them or should I commend them for theire unintended efforts spreading Linux desktops?5
Opening the bag...
Stuck my nose in it. Deeeeeeep breath.
Better than sex.
Taking the scale, getting the right amount.
Feeding the grinder, thinking about whom to kill... Watching get them torn to pieces, shredded bit by bit.
Preheating the iron, getting the water up to temperature.
Filling up the espresso can, turning it on.
Boiling fresh espresso.
Nothing's sexier than the sound of the steam and the smell of fresh grinded and brewed espresso.
Typical code life?
1. Write rough comments
2. Write more detailed comments
3. Write pseudo code
4. Write semi-working but definitely ugly code
5. Write working but very ugly code
6. Refactor the code to be nicer, check for patterns, bottlenecks and other bits and pieces
7. Push to git the "final" code
8. After few months blame whoever wrote the code
9. Refactor all the things!
This happened in my career more than once and still - it seems like the best option out there to get things done. What do you guys think? Should something be added/removed from this? Is this over-complicated or what?2
Choke on a fucking narwhals horn you pieces of shit, 28 days no ticket answer, then raised the issue again and again and again, still no answers, tried their email added in all github support readmes - got that in return, all their issues are closed except for the python wrapper, just fucking send me back a notice of your death already.5
Sometimes it's uncomfortable for me to code anything because all I do is based on other stuff that is based on other stuff and so on.
Am I truly a creator when all I do is putting the puzzle pieces together so it looks unique?
I actually never honestly go beyond "modding".. Why do I always have to rely on other stuff working? And other stuff continuing to work for the following decade?
I thought it's only the case for software/web/etc but apparently most hardware projects are stuffing bought things together.
Music is stuffing chord combinations and melodies together.
It all goes on like that.
I don't have a life.
So I'm back at work on a Saturday afternoon (admittedly, I prefer this to staying home or going out to ... Clubbing? Idk what the youth does nowadays) and just about every sound frightens me. Like, I don't mind the squeaky building, but my hormones are off and just about everything sends me into a panic mode. (my mental health rn is... funny 😬) so, I was thinking, I should make something thay covers up the squeaks. Like, plays something classic over squeaks.
... Now, "psychopaths in your area" could use this to their advantage and direct their own music pieces. 👀10
I did it. I finally fucking did it.
After a year of anxiety, entire months of wasted time, bashing my head against the wall trying to solve stupid issues that should not have been there in the first place, and learning a lot of stuff for the first time, I have finally finished my first real project.
All I have left is to polish up some documentation and then ship it. And then I will actually get paid for the first time.
There are no words to describe the joy of seeing all the pieces falling into place and the project coming to life.
Now, how do you tell a client that you went overtime as fuck?5
I have been drawing nothing but FUCKING CIRCLES on pieces of paper, and it has slowly piled up on my desk over the course of a week. I have been getting stares from people in other departments, and I am pretty sure they think I am starting to lose it.
I finally implemented something today tho, and all that doodling and spaghetti code was totally worth it to see it actually fucking work on the first run. Jesus Christ, I fucking love my job.5
I have been very inactive in these last couple of months but I really need to rant right now:
I am working on a project, which is also part of a contest, with a few of my friends. I asked one of them to write a bit of code and some documentation about it, here's the result:
He wrote half a page of text with plenty of spelling mistakes and grammatical errors but here comes the even worse part:
Instead of just leaving the code in its own file he copied it into the word (libre office writer) file as well. Now I have got 3 pages of non-indented code with a few comments flying around here and there, weird variable names and a lot of commented out pieces of code.
Bloody hell I feel like I am the only one in this team taking this contest serious.3
Been ready to start a new project for the last 6 weeks, and when I finally receive the last pieces of information that I need to start doing my work, I've grown so grumpy and sour that I don't want to do it anymore.
Oh. And the deadline will still be the same date as if they delivered 6 weeks earlier. F*ckers.4
Now i was thinking that wooble on printing bad isnt that bad but well my prints were good but not exactly perfect.
Today i printed a replacment over the fucking acrylic pieces and the holes were now closer to each other so that the wheels were closer to the rails.
And WOW did that make a difference on the bed. Its much much less wooble on it.
What does this have to do with programming ?
Nothing but it gives a lesson.
Never ever underestimate a small problem !4
- optimized a lot of queries and pieces of code
- graduated from the dutch equivalent of community college
- started a new education
- updated our password schema from a shameful algorithm to bcrypt
- haven't been able to convince my colleague and bosses to automate stuff
- still no tests
- still a php dev
- still alone
Come at me with your c++ and robots! I'll fucking master you!1
I was taking some Ms certification courses a while back just for the pieces of paper since I didn't have a college degree. I took their entrance exam and apparently scored in te top 3% so I knew it was going to be a breeze.
I started out sitting near the front of the classroom, but I never really paid attention to the teacher, I worked through the practice book during lectures. This apparently distracted the class because they would come to me for help rather than raise their hand or ask the teacher.
Eventually he pulled me aside on a smoke break and asked what I was doing in his classroom if I already knew what I was doing. I explained the situation and he just laughed. But he did ask me to sit in the back corner quietly and allow him to teach the rest of the class. And I could do my thing until the certification exams.
I used to work at a printing company as their only developer. I was often pulled from doing any development work, and instead would be printing documents, posters and postcards. One time I was printing and developing at the same time for a 12 hr shift. I fucked up over 30 thousand printed pieces of double sided postcards, where the front and back didn't align properly. So it was impossible for the guys to cut them. I left the job about 2 weeks later, and found myself a job that's doing only development, and was working as part of a team of very talented developers. I still have a good relationship going with my past employer though, despite that incident. My supervisors were very nice people.
PC survival lessons
1. Tape acts as a protection from extreme animals like humans bashing you up and falling apart into pieces
2. Repeat lesson 1 for eternity5
Already have it.
I wanted to be cnc programmer but for now I'll have to work with the machines.
And I love it...
Making steel pieces with a 0.01mm precision...
Preparing the tools...
Operating the machine...
That's why I'm doing my own... For over 3 years (no money to finish yet hehe).
Also, got unemployed so I made a 3D drawing formation.
Now I can design, program and machine a full mold.
To bad company owners in my country (Portugal) like slave work... And I'm not accepting jobs for the minimum wage or I would be employed already.2
Man, people have the weirdest fetishes for using the most unreadable acrobatic shell garbage you have ever seen.
Some StackOverflow answers are hilarious, like the question could be something like "how do I capture regex groups and put them in a variable array?".
The answer would be some multiline command using every goddamn character possible, no indentation, no spaces to make sense of the pieces.
Regex in unix is an unholy mess. You have sed (with its modes), awk, grep (and grep -P), egrep.
I'll take js regex anytime of the day.
And everytime you need to do one simple single goddamn thing, each time it's a different broken ass syntax.
The resulting command that you end up picking is something that you'll probably forget in the next hour.
I like a good challenge, but readability is important too.
Or maybe I have very rudimentary shell skills.5
So I recently wacthed Prison Break
Right in the beginning, Michael takes the hdd out of his computer and throws it out the window
Me: Yea he should've dismantled that drive and thrown the pieces away in different places
Then later on someone else is trying to figure his plan and finds the drive and recovers data. Yea.. what did I say?6
Windows: good for gaming, casual programming and office use, best for elderly people (with good antivirus)
Linux: can be decent at gaming, low footprint, open-source, really good for programming and tinkering
MacOS: big part of programmers prefer to use it, loved by graphic designers, not that good for gaming or wallet, some parts are tightly locked up and fenced without gates, good for portability and quick presentations etc
There, did I miss something?
Feel free to add the missing pieces7
As I read this headline, all I could imagine was Mark Zuckerberg stood by an office scanner literally scanning each individual image or text that were printed on separate pieces of paper2
Do you know what angers me more than anything else ?
Wasted potential. Thats what. That there are people out there that look at their bank account and see a large number and spend large amounts of time finding ways to push people down during sensitive times where they could be learning and growing and have the right attitude and energy to do so, just because it makes their horrible selves feel secure knowing how 'superior' daddy made them, not to mention likely factories filled with half naked Chinese kids sewing shoes and soccer balls and separating out precious metals with blow torches.
I cannot help but think about this again as I'm frustrated that I had to relearn something just now which created more questions which I once everything is dashed to pieces again I won't think to or know to look into, if the information even exists, all so some easily duped younger people can form the next generation of well... us, and fall for the same tricks while I feel like I'm falling behind.4
omg omg omg. I just found out rebrickable has an all inclusive Lego pieces and sets database updated monthly FREE and under a CC license!! And their API is also available for use under CC. And I'm so excited I could pee because this just made it possible for me to jump right in on a personal project I've been wanting to start and my SO/friends just look at me and smile politely when I try to explain to them what a goldmine it is to find a library that does exactly what you need and is free too. So I needed to come somewhere and share my news and know I'd be understood. <38
// Define this isn't a rant.
this.isRant = false;
So just curious if there are any dev stroke artists on here that might be willing to lend me a hand with some prototype art...
Just need some character sprites made into modular pieces and a few edits.
Didn't know anywhere else to post this :-(10
in the holy name of the son of a fuck
CAN I HAVE JUST ONE FUCKING LINUX COMPATIBLE VIDEO EDITOR THAT DOES THE FUCKING CROSS FADES ON ITS OWN LIKE SONY VEGAS DOES?
JUST FUCKING ONE! WHAT ARE THESE FUCKING DEVELOPERS THINKING???????????
PITIVI, KDENLIVE, FLOWBLADE, OPENSHOT. ARE YOU TRYING TO CREATE HARD UIs ON PURPOSE?
NO, I DONT WANT TO CROSS FADE ON DIFFERENT TRACKS.
NO, I DONT WANT TO MAINTAIN THE CROSS FADES AS SEPARATE ENTITIES. JUST GENERATE THEM ON THE FLY!
IT'S STUPID... STEWWWWW PID...
I'm about to eat my own shit and play around with the pieces of corn I ate last night.
I'm losing my goddamn mind over here.7
I think the number 1 reason I hate PHP is not because the language itself is really really really bad; but because it's so easy to google "how to php" and get tons of tutorials (full of shit code) that most of the PHP programmers are bad and have no CS studies whatsoever, resulting in unmantainable tight-coupled pieces of [spaghetti] code that won't even encapsulate any business logic.
Anybody else feeling like changing to a different language a similar reason?5
I finally quit my day job at the place I was working to finally go full time with my business, TerraNimbus. I was able to secure a small loan to cover business and personal expenses until I can drum up enough business to keep things a float.
I’m super fucking stoked because I’ve been wanting to branch out and do this for about 4 years now and finally feel like I have the right pieces in play to make it work. I’m as nervous as hell but so fucking excited too!
I just needed to share this here cause the DevRant community is world class and you guys/gals are fucking killing it everyday being AWESOME!!! And you all feel like extended family members to me all going through the motions in each of your lives and keeping ‘in touch’ through devRant on a daily basis. So I wanted to share my story with everyone here.4
Stupid fucking communities normally all pieces of garbage. And no, there is no built in garbage collection, but then I find this, I POST 1 THING AND I GET GREAT RESPONES AND REALLY NICE ENGAGEMENT LIKE WTF3
Thinking of getting one of those keyboards that are split in two. (Yes, I will get both pieces. Harr harr.)18
The first filamment for my 3D printer had to end at 4h30 in a 5h30 program. FUCKKKKK
Tryed to replace while pausing the printer, but the fucking merlin doesn't reset the extruder stepper motor, so... when I resumed the print it wouldn't extrude filament, because the position of the extruder was wrong....
Well. At least printer time is cheap... I'll just print all the pieces and leave it until tomorow night printing lol3
I made a js script using google and pieces of an already made script without knowing a bit of js.
Amazing how all programming languages are so similar.1
There are no stupid or dumb questions. A lot of headache has been and could have been saved by one person asking what seemed like a stupid question.
I would now expand on this to say that if the question is procedural in the sense that it’s asking “what” or “how”, you should make every attempt to come to an answer yourself and then ask for clarification. If the question revolves around “why”, there are no stupid questions. A lot can be overlooked in a cascade of moving pieces.2
me: I want to look into using an MVC for my websites...
brain: Nope, not gonna happen, we're gonna stick to the simple inclusion of site pieces directly in the front-end code instead.
me: but but but
brain: I SAID NO!2
How single tiny mistakes can ruin your day...
For those who don't know me (and I've been absent from social media, even DevR cause of a burn out) I'm not a developer as most here, my code Is Numeric Code (work with a CNC machine)
Like, I have to do corrections every day to compensate for my programmer mistakes...
-Today broke two tools because I'm so tired I forgot to make such corrections...
-Got fucked up by my boss cause of It
- worked to hard all week to push the work forward (everyone else is dependent on me, because I start most of the pieces from a block of metal), now I can't think straight... and get fucked because of some simple mistakes...
Colleges trow away pieces worth from 5000 euros to 50000 euros (and more) cause of distraction and he always picks on me, even for stuff that isn't my fault or my responsibility...
I love my job, my company, but sometimes...
BTW, if anyone is curious what a CNC machine does, check this out: https://youtube.com/watch/...
Its so awesome to work with such a machine... Mine has a 2,5m x 1,3m table and 5 tons maximum weight4
I love a number of the little slack "all clean" icons when you catch up on threads. They're adorable. My personal favorite is the floptopus.
Anyone else have fave examples of adorable, ideally platform mascot-related pieces of task-accomplishment-reward-bait (octocat, go gopher, etc etc?
It's a rant bc fuck anyone who's too cool for cute shit :p7
PM: I need a brand new feature that we haven't had before and it has to have a framework backing it so that we can extend it to anywhere in the future. It also has to have X, Y, Z, it has to be able to tell the future, cure cancer, fly, and have a return on investment for us of 1000x. How long will that take?
Me (or any dev ever): Umm... well, that's kind of asking for the moon. The first few pieces will take as least 5 sprints. When do you need it by?
PM: Tomorrow. When can you have it?
Got a senior dev at work.
The guy is good at his job, no doubt, but his insecurity drives me up the wall.
- Constantly double checks work done by non-seniors.
- Setup a policy where only seniors can code review.
- Tells non-seniors not to give out advice as they don't know what they're talking about.
- Edits pull requests for you.
- Demands unobtainable quality for insignificant pieces of work.
- Patronising teams messages on the regular.
We're all just trying to get work done and he's always acting like we haven't got enough stripes on the badge.11
You know how a normal developer will start writing a program, and then take the big pieces and split/refactor it; move hard coded things into functions that take arguments, and cleaning up along the way?
Our manager makes a tons of empty files, and empty directories, with how he thinks he wants to build something, and checks them all in. Tons of .gitkeep files in empty directories, blank Jenkinsfile, Dockerfile that doesn't build.
When he makes wiki documentation, there are tons of subsections, all of which are links to pages with "TODO" in them.
Dear god stop it you asshat! Stop making tons of empty files and pages. Write the thing in one chunk and then split it as needed like someone who actually knows how to engineer software!1
Hey hardware hackers, just wanted to let you know that seeedstudio offers free PCB assembly. I got 5 pieces of the PCB in the picture for 30 USD manufactured, assembled and shipped (including BOM costs), the also included 5 additional empty PCBs. However I paid another 30$ for customs and DHL customs handling (I'm inside Europe) ... But still, for assembly it's a great price, took around 4 weeks. Just upload the BOM and you get an instant quote. If you are curious, it's a simple board for an ESP32 with some mosfet drivers and two DC-DC converters.
No idea how I ended up here. So basically started with simple wordpress websites, transitioned to react. This move was the hardest.
Then caught up on node and mongodb. And before i knew i was doing db, backend and front end tasks. Now i know bits and pieces of everything
I don’t like the term “full stack dev”. I personally feel like I’m a Jack of all trades and master of none. There’s so much to learn if you’re a full stack developer. Endless possibilities, endless rants and endless frustration 🤯
Will these fucktards just FUCKING FIX EDUROAM! alright it's a WiFi network that works across the globe and there's challenges with that BUT DON'T MAKE ME HAVE TO MANUALLY RECONNECT EVERY random amount of time!!! I'll shove that fucking MSCHAPv2 down you fucking throats with that sweet sweets PEAP sauce bloody arseholes.
What do you fucking mean it works fine? NO IT BLOODY DOESN'T! Get your shit together and at least handle DHCP leases correctly and make them not expire every fucking minute!!
Also, how the flipping fuck does connecting to the eduroam VPN from within fucking eduroam make it more stable? Only ever so slightly though. Incompetent pieces of dick sucking craptards don't make me have to bring out the ethernet jack EVERY FUCKING TIME at school for christ's sake.
No, it doesn't make it my problem because I'm running Linux. Look on the Internet. The forums are fucking filled with people having issues and your docs are from 5 years ago so please kindly FUCK Off!!!15
Hey, some of you might remember a rant I posted a few days back complaining about email scores.
Well, I finished the project I needed them for and thought someone might be interested to give feedback or try and break it.
Basically, it's intended as a solution for the absolute mess our school is in before parent conference days. We're talking 3 pieces of paper per student, meaning about 3000 sheets being wasted every half year.
The beta version of the website is hosted at https://laravel.privateger.me/.
Seriously, take this apart as harshly as possible please. I'm sure there are a ton of issues I haven't seen.
The website is in German, but it should be really easy to understand even without knowing it.
If you get banned by the small protection thingy I added, tell me, I'll clear that.
Credentials here (students and teachers have different interfaces):
AbelMonika | Pass: 1emctd03m3pf | firstname.lastname@example.org
AchtertKristian | Pass: yne8ncqyzlq7 | email@example.com
AdamJanina | Pass: kakphpodpc0k | firstname.lastname@example.org
BerendsJana | Pass: 0829btgjnrc1wcd5 | email@example.com
BerqueFelix | Pass: 1p1b3zx7tzn45jm5 | firstname.lastname@example.org
BliengenMax | Pass: tuc6hd2hayixk0hn | email@example.com
Just found out I have more work than I can manage stacked up until mid 2018 - all for me and where I am a single point of failure. I have several manager fighting for me and some smaller pieces of work mixed in too.
Any advice on how to get a raise while my stock is high?3
I’m so fucking tired of having to work with shitty code day in and day out and not being able to optimize it. I want to quit so bad without having a job lined up… I fucking hate being a developer now thanks to these fucking pieces of shit.7
Ive been thinking for a few now that if like to begin a social program to get old people to play computer games.
They are often bored as fuck， cant move much and have no mental challenges.
I mean what else than video games could save the day?
Old homes with puzzles and missing pieces. Dementia neighbours. Ots a no brainer!3
Any meeting involving our UX team. They get a program to drag and drop pictures of pieces of the website and then wonder why the devs implementing it don't want to
"I need a way to create PDFs from word documents"
"OK, here's Cute PDF, just print to it"
"Great, how does this work with my pdf letterhead?"
"Oh, well that's different, we'll need to create a word template with the letterhead pieces from the PDF. Here you go."
"OK, how do I merge the word documents generated by my fuckmess of a CRM software system?"
"You can copy and paste it, or we can purchase this software for you that should be able to do it"
"Why didn't you install that software first? You guys are useless"
Alright buddy, fuck you too. I'll be sure to automatically assume that even though your initial email is a full, complete request, that there's more behind it and read your mind through the email going forward.1
Bought myself a standing desk (one that rests on top of an existing desk), a new chair with good lumbar support and a few other office bits and pieces before the end of the tax year in the UK. I didn't think I'd be able to put them through my Ltd Co next year because of IR35 changes, but they have been delayed now.
The only thing I don't have yet at home is dual monitors. Otherwise the setup feels great. 30 Mins sitting followed by 30 Mins standing is doing wonders for my old back3
I told myself for 18 months things like; ‘im being here, working here, and i like it here’.
Also when others left, nothing could break my confidence.
Present moment i’m happy to leave this place. This madhouse. This stressed out place where everybody keeps licking clients asses. Fuck this shit, i’m much better off elsewhere!
I am dreaming of leaving this company while the building burns. Or just before leaving, throwing my pc to pieces.
I wish i could scream: FUCK *company name*!!!
I just finished my last day at my toxic office that is falling to pieces.
Oh that's such a relief off my shoulders now.
On to bigger, better, and much more enjoyable things come Monday morning!!!1
Useless pieces of shit
Targeting my dad, fools, he has me 🤡
I'm gonna flood you with fake emails and passwords
So much that you will stop spamming and then I'll continue a little bit, just to be safe
What have I been working absolutely all fucking day? FUCKING PRINTERS. I am so fucking tired of printers, everything to do with the stupid pieces of shit.
Then, some fuck stain has called me 6 times in the last hour trying to get me to drop all the things I’m doing and make him priority #1... Even though it has nothing to do with the computer and everything to do with the lack of fucking skills he has to preform his god damn job.
For fuck sakes, FUCK OFF!1
I'm currently trying to a finish a project that business partner quoted for and gave me six weeks to write the backend CMS, front end web version of the apps and an iOS and Android app for each including payment integration and the works. It's so over due now and it's taking me all the energy I have not to quit.
P.S My business partner has now left the business leaving me to pick up the pieces :-(2
Jenga driven programming:
Stack pieces of code on top of each other until everything falls down and you have to restart shit.2
Motherfucker, do you even review your own code, never mind getting anyone else to do it?
"Hi" randomly added on a new line in the middle of a switch block, a syntax error, as the only change in a file?
Breaking two methods by misunderstanding which database object a variable identifies- but making no other change to those functions? And not adding permissions checks to the new API methods you added in that file?
Overwriting the email template that goes out to users who were added straight to the CRM, by reusing the same file for a template for users that have been invited to an event?
Adding your new fields to the old CRM sync code, again leaving me to figure it out, thereby leaving users' changes likely to be overwritten every morning?
And pushing this to master, supposedly tested, without a heads-up?
How often does your mum need to buy you a new box of crayons? Because these ones are chewed to pieces.
Suck my balls. Or rather don't, you probably don't know you're not meant to use your teeth.
Today I sat down and made my first two proper scripts in bash, I have been studying and pulling bits of information together, and ive finally got a grasp on Redirection. I found a script for a Dialog driven Menu, tore it to pieces and learnt from it.
2 Hours Later, stupid mistakes and lots of coffee, I have the start of something I think is cool :) If anyone would like to take a look and give me some comments I have pushed both projects to github. And will be working on the GUI one all day :)
And the stock market is plunging again.... Who gives a fuck....
It makes no logical sense? Unless someone wants to enlighten me... But I don't see much downside...
COVID kills us all => who gives a fuck about stock prices
COVID kills most of us => who gives a fuck about stock prices, aka pieces of paper. All the survivors will create a new society and either split the goods or fight over them. It'll be like Survivor... But real.
COVID goes away and doesn't do anything => great time to buy buy buy since all you idiots basically just gave me like a huge discount on stock prices. AKA a long overdue market correction9
How to fit a WiFi lightswitch..
Spend hours finding someone who actually makes one for 2 wire switches..
Wait 6 weeks for it to arrive..
Find out the switch is that little bit too big to fit where the old light switch was..
Bend metal box pieces out of the way, file, bend some more, break pieces off, file more..
It fits !
3mm of it doesn't fit..
Oh well, a good excuse to buy a finger plate to fill the gap up..
Pity you can't get a Science Fiction finger plate, something like Star Trek for example.. (Well, you can get USA ones, just not UK ones!)
Screws supplied are the wrong size and don't fit..
Good thing I've the old screws, but they need washers..
Trip to garage later..
It's pretty, has a nice little blue light when its on. (Comes with a warning about not to use without a bulb.. so what happens when the bulb blows ? luckily for me it feeds two lights, so the chances of both bulbs not working at once is..)
Haven't even began to approach the issue of how to program it, so I can say 'Computer lights' and they come on.
No doubt in a 2 years time I'll have it working..
Just as its warranty runs out. :-)
But cheaper to buy from:
When I was younger I had a decision to go into hardware or software. I chose software and have loved it.
Recentily I just spent 5 hours trying install a Linux distro on an old server. I made no progress.
I made the right decision. Hardware freaking sucks! You spend hours working on outdated pieces of crap and find that to fix your problem you need to sell you kidney to finance your project. Not to mention you have to wait for literally everything! It's like gradel builds everywhere! Want to install a new distro on your USB? Bam, 5min gone. Want to boot into bios and change one setting? BAM! more time wasted...
A note to the sysadmins out there: thank you. I love you. I am so happy you do this kind of work so I don't have to.3
I'm living it.
I started an internship at this web store made of different pieces and following no apparent rule or convention. They asked me to do this landing page, but I can't access to the development environment, nor push, create a docker, kill myself, nothing. I have to build from the DOM and write with inline style a page copied and pasted, with 300 lines of CSS already in the tpl, overwritten bootstrap 3 and two main CSS files linked. And "they don't do !important".
I wish I could say I'm learning a lot, but not. My life has become a waste of hours trying to please a company stuck and aged.
PSA Cloudflare had a bug in there system where they were dumping random pieces of memory in the body of HTML responses, things like passwords, API tokens, personal information, chats, hotel bookings, in plain text, unencrypted. Once discovered they were able to fix it pretty quickly, but it could have been out in the wild as early as September of last year. The major issue with this is that many of those results were cached by search engines. The bug itself was discovered when people found this stuff on the google search results page.
It's not quite end of the world, but it's much worse than Heartbleed.
Now excuse me this weekend as I have to go change all of my passwords.3
Just imagine sicknesses spreading through internet.
I mean real human sicknesses. Of course your laptop can’t generate aids, but hey, did you ever have a song stuck in your head, repeated infinitely? Memes, viral videos, modern pop music, it looks just like perfect delivery mechanisms.
Human brain is flawed and buggy, vulnerable to countless things like optical illusions, uncanny valley, nlp and others. It’s obvious that there is some audiovisual input sequence that may have arbitrary side effects.
We are towards invention of some precisely formed pieces of information that’ll damage your brain forever, maybe drive you insane so there’ll be no way back. Delivered via viral media straight to your brain, destroying it irreversibly.
Be ready to face the future.2
I'm typically very humble about my work. There's a certain project that I enjoy a lot. It is challenging to me, which is something important to me. I learn a lot.
Colleagues do not enjoy the project in the way that I do. In fact, most of them don't like it or try to avoid when they can. When they can't, they often consult with me about the project. I have a genuine curiosity and interest in it.
However, there is one aspect of it that I don't like at all, but I deal with it. It comes with the territory, I guess. What IS discouraging and turns me away from it though, is when colleagues "get the better end of the deal" when it comes to making special arrangements for this project. Sure, make me dedicated to it for a period of time so that I stay focused on the topic, but yet, kind of do the same for another team member but reward the other person with not having to also deal with the particular task I don't enjoy. Give them the pieces I enjoy and stick me on the pieces I don't.
I know this is a very general post and it probably makes no sense, but I needed to let off some steam and still keep it somewhat anonymous. I work hard for this project and I often don't take credit when it's given to me / when I should be taking it. It's just discouraging how things are arranged sometimes.2
So today (as of 5 min ago) marks a great day for my personal projects! I just got my embedded systems Flash memory driver debugging on my PC in Visual Studio, talking directly to the REAL flash chip, WITHOUT being tied to a embedded target! It's glorious. I can finally debug and write tons of tests without having to worry about the constraints of my embedded system. Ahhh. All the pieces I've needed to build this have slowly come together over weekends, and it feels so good to have this tool in my arsenal now! Great day indeed.
Ive got this colleague who knows so much about cloud services, networking etcetera, but 90% of the code he writes I have to rewrite in a way.
So many typos that classnames become unreadable and not understandable.
Small pieces of code that breaks so many other pieces of code.
And code which isnnt needed because it doesnt do shite. "o = (o==null?null: o)" (this is the exact thing he wrote (spacing included))
Sometimes it takes me 6 hours to find the source of an issue because he changed something. Everything I change I confront him about because they are things that can be avoided by rereading the code written.
Fucking doesnt wanna learn....4
headphones are one of the most important pieces of our environment, more depends on good headphones than you realize. they change the way how we perceive music, they make way to true meditation, they turn music into inspirarion in a second.
can we have a pair of grados as a desk item please?3
Writing a small program for my Pi, which has to have a gui, process rfid information and do some stuff with motors and leds.
Unfortunately I don't know c++, so I have to write this all in python.
Gui's in python are the ugliest pieces of shit ever. Even fucking c# winforms are prettier than them.
Currently using PyQt5 as it is the less ugly of the bunch but man, you'd think python would have a lot more ui options considering the love it receives...4
But still kindof a Rant...
I Just got my Oculus Rift (Summer Edition bundle)
And I was Soo happy to try the Oculus Touch Controllers!
Except, the Setup was pretty hard because I dont have so much room to move in and the Setup always said: GO FURTHER BACK!
Until I realized that it was because of the Sensors which I put in an Angle not 90°...
Oh hell I was trying for Like an hour until it worked.
But then the Experience was one which I NEVER had! (I Tried VR Rollercoasters, waterslides in VR, PSVR, The HTC Vive, and the gear VR, Oculus DK 1 and DK 2)
It got me a little dizzy after an hour and a half of smaching Robots into pieces...
But still really AMAZING!
So my advice, get it when its on Sale with the Oculus Touch or Just right away.
I bought the Rift and im really happy about it.4
Just tried out Jupyter Notebook for the first time. I can see why software engineers wouldn't like notebooks, especially if you intend to actually publish the notebook as code for other people to use (please publish a module that can be imported, not a notebook that has to be hacked to pieces to make it reusable), but it's pretty handy for early prototyping or documentation.
I'm playing around with save-editing for a few GBA games as a personal project, and I used a Notebook to document the save file format with examples.3
Using the Facebook Messenger thing on a recently updated Android 8 (finally, Huawei pieces of rotten eggs) is a friggin' pain in the starhole. For the life of me I can't seem to fudging remove this damn useless notification popping up... (pic)
It's more intrusive than the app itself... D:
I guess I'll need to trash the app then.. Good fucking riddance!12
Spent all morning debugging legacy code that I need to migrate.
Most of the time is just waiting for it to load --pieces of data-- entire tables from the database and then filter out the records it doesn't want using some app logic.
WHAT SORT OF MONKEY WRITES CODE LIKE THIS? HOW WAS THIS EVEN ALLOWED INTO PRODUCTION...
I have to open Notepad to write down my chain of thoughts, steps, and things to check once the next breakpoints are hit so that I don't forget them.
So in theory I'm being paid all morning to sit around and do nothing.
That sounds great but I'm falling asleep... Shoulda worked from home...
What was I saying again...yea...
DON'T HIRE MONKEYS!!! THEY WRITE SHIT CODE THAT WASTES EVERYONE'S TIME EVEN AFTER THEY LEAVE...
I'm going to lunch now... Hopefully Notepad has enough into for me to remember what I was doing...
Windows 10 insider preview had a critical bug like half a year ago where most browsers would freeze the PC. I've reported it multiple times but my feedback didnt get any attention. The bug made it to production months later...
Now, the story is repeating. I've discovered a bug. Everytime there's a software update for apps that with a built-in updater in the main .exe (JetBrains IDEs, VS etc.) the updater fails, program is corrupted and needs to be reinstalled. For instance, there's a minor bump in Android Studio version, if you try to use autoupdater it will corrupt your Android Studio and you'll have to reinstall.
Been trying to reach out to them but the only "real issues" that are highlighted are "no CPU temp in task manager" or "pls improve automatic problem resolving"
Why the fuck do you even have a feedback program if you're ignoring the people who are reaching out to you, you pieces of shit4
I've got tens of thousands of lines (maybe hundreds 🤷♂️) in open source bits and pieces. Much of it my own, but also other projects.
Not seen a penny, but never expected to. That's not why I do it.1
I am my teams goto guy for anything and everything. For any problem they face technically.
They think I am some kind of genius. But in reality I just Google. :/ I don't know most of the things they ask!
The saving grace is that, whenever I try to solve anything, the pieces of the puzzle quickly fall into their places in my head.
Now the impostor syndrome is kicking in hard!1
When you really need a new computer, but you have to pay tuition.
Laptop has pieces of plastic breaking off. Please not the screen!1
K guys... Don't expect to hear much from me for a few days...
Not like jase. It's just....
I upgraded my CNC last night with "real" steppers (only need one more for Z)
I just got my 3D printer and have a puzzle to mount...
First pieces I'll do (after tests and learning curve) are pieces for my third CNC lol2
Setting up a mail server is the worst experience I ever had. And whoever took part in the invention of these evil pieces shall get hit by doves, round cubes and get lost in /home/minzkraut/mbox FOREVER!!
Working with government contracts...
Them: We want an agile environment!
What they mean: Waterfall with bits and pieces of agile.
Them: We want to modernize our code!
What they mean: Oh, that is open source code from Russia or a country we don't like? No, even though it is a norm and a very powerful tool, we can't have communism here.
Them: We have a new task order for you.
What they mean: We won't approve you the money till you have a month left of the task order.3
So I got the LSTM working in keras.
Working from a glorified tutorial.
Why the fuck do people let their github pages go down with no other backup?
Especially if its a link in your blog?
Why would you do that and not post the full script (instead of bits and pieces interspersed with *partial* explanations)?
In any case, its working and training on a test set and examples just to debug my own understanding of the process.
Once thats done I can generate some training data and try training on a small set. If that goes smoothly and the loss looks like it is heading in the right direction, then I'll setup the hardware for the private cloud and start writing the parallel computing component.2
Email was invented a gazillion years ago and it's still a shiit experience to setup on linux. Just give me ONE complete package!!
nooo i need to get postfix, dovecot, spamassassain mailscanner, antivirus, opendmarc, opendkim, dovecot-managesieve dovecot-sieve, roundcube, database, webserver and then i still have to configure everything and setup certs, spf, dnssec, dkimkeys on the domains, domains, mailboxes, deny weak certs etc.
I know the whole do one thing and do that one thing well but how about you just be a mailserver and do that ONE thing well without me needing to putting all of the puzzle pieces together myself! I don't want to waste time setting all this shit up. and don't even get me started on symantec and live.com and their blocking!14
Fucking job recruiters or whoever the fuck.
If the first line on my resume is under "Objective" and it states, "To obtain a job, internship, or Co-op in the field of Networking, Cybersecurity, or Administration." You can clearly see the world sales and customer service are not in there.
If you take 5 seconds to read that or search for the words customer service or sales YOU WON'T FUCKING FIND ANYTHING.
SO WHY THE FLYING FUCK DO YOU CUMBUCKET FILLED PIECES OF SHIT KEEP OFFERING SALES AND CUSTOMER JOBS TO ME.
I even got a senior sales position before. :|
Yet I can't even get a call back from an internship that's related to what I want to do lol. Smh.1
Not a specific bug, but I always have that satisfactory feeling when I fix a bug inside a code like this:
1. Spaghetti af
2. Duplicated af
3. Heavy use of static fields instead of passing via callback when required
4. variable names like: textbox1 ..etc.
5. No comments
It is true that is a huge pain in the ass to deal with, but then I look at it as I was able to create something out of that mess, I mean all is mixed up nothing is clear, no clue where it starts and what caused it, but then I put the pieces together and end up with a solution of what I thought to be: It will never be solved when that mess is here.
Not an excuse for messed up code, I try fixing whenever possible, but hey, at least I did not run away and give up
Pieces won't fucking stick.
Hey 3D guys. So... I changed to my second fillament rool, from white to black PLA.
The white worked perfectly, but I'm having lots of problems with the black. It just doesn't stick right on the table and than drags strings , with ends up fucking the piece.
I was printing at 200C, now upped to 220C and it just seams to cool to fast or something...
Cleaned the table, leveled like 30 times so far, using lots of airspray...
Do I need to up the heat more? Or may I already givint to much?
the fillament says from 220C to 260C, but I'm afraid the 3D printer can't handle arround 250C38
I made a pretty useful library that the whole company uses but its all in bits and pieces and i cant be assed to organize and document it, but i really wanna put it in a central repo1
You have a job for 7 days and you will get paid with 1 piece of gold per day. Problem is there's a block of gold made up of 7 pieces, and there is a knife that can cut it only twice. How would you solve this problem? Making sure the employee has the right amount of gold every day!
There are no tricks in the question like buying a new knife or whatever. There is a unique mathematical solution. Go!8
I used to watch my brother code in Turbo C++, creating console games and doing university assignments. Writing something on the computer which transformed into something animated was such a wonderful revelation to me and that's when I started to learn bits and pieces of programming. Now, I'm a fill stack developer :)2
Smart me.. Updated OS X from 10.10 to the ‘new’ 10.12 just before leaving on my vacation. I’m currently at the boarding gate, wanting to develop some bits and pieces.
Apparently, the update fucked me once more.. My XAMPP server, the Git commands, my permissions, .. Nothing works.. Now I have to google all this stuff to get everything working again, but the Wifi is sooo damn sloooow.
Doubted so many times to install ubuntu on my macbook, but I have no idea how Ubuntu handles the battery life, the led keyboard, the function buttons, … The whole OS X works for me, but once in a while, it fuckes me so hard, I would've liked it if it took me out for dinner once in a while.. :D3
Someone at work asks boss something stupid. He gets mad and says "omg don't they teach you anything at school?" and proceeds to give us all a pop quiz... On paper... Then tries to read all the code pieces like a lecturer.1
I start with the broad concept first.
"In the end, the application needs to do <this>. Okay. In order to get to <this> the application first has to know <that>".
Then, I just keep breaking this down until I get to the bits and pieces. I see the forest and then zoom in on the trees.1
To the medieval / antique man, a modern person would probably seem like a degenerate. Heretic, letting their wife go outside, glutton, sorcerer, never even saw a guy get sawed into halves on the public square while eating half a pig roasted in beer and forcing the local joygirl before stabbing a guy for his silver.
Degeneration is the anxiety of the reactionary who sees his little understanding of the world blown into pieces. Far from me the idea of the linearity of any so-called progress, it is certainty that for those who insist on living in the past, there's a word decency would forbid me to utter:
The R word.32
It feels like half of what I do is just tell people that their code sucks and it needs to be replaced, then I drag them through the 5 stages of grieving the loss of an application that has them trapped in an abusive relationship.
The unique and complicated needs of our business lead to this unique and complicated architecture. This is all here for a reason, and it's all needed.
What do you mean it's going to take 6 months to rebuild this? We made MVP in 3 months!
Surely we don't need to throw it all away! There must be something worth salvaging!
Stake holders and going to think we're not getting anything done! This is a nightmare 😭
Six months later...
Holy shit thank god we got away from that glass tower before it shattered and cut us all to pieces! Side note: development velocity is on fleek. #profit3
Most interesting bug caused - created printer driver for vietnamese diacritical marks for old matrix printer without VN support by switching to graphics mode and plotting the dots and dashes. Print speed reduced about 200x and printer shook itself to pieces by rotating the cylinder back and forth. Oh well... Ended up buying two new laser printers instead.1
added a sixth point to "core principles" of the os/language i'm designing:
6. hard crash on as many errors as possible because programmers are retarded pieces of shit and fuck them from both sides at once with three baseball bats in each hole at the same time. either fucking write your program right or go fucking fuck yourself you fucking lobotomized incompetent pieces of shit.
because fuck this fucking bullshit. your lobotomy will either make the whole system crash or you'll learn to not be lobotomized you fucking retarded pieces of shit.
oh, and the error message is gonna be "OH NO! THE CREATOR OF [program name] IS A RETARDED LOBOTOMIZED MORON WHO CAN'T WRITE CODE FOR SHIT, so now he fucked up your whole system by his utter incompetence... Restarting..."1
People who specifically attribute all value to people making money are the core problem
So many infant raping pieces of human trash make money
Our system could just work at last and there could be a million things being done better or being finished22
That awesome feeling when you figure out a coding logic to get the intended result.
I've been stuck on this issue past few days. But always had an instinct I could figure it out the way I want and since it was always in the back of my mind, things started making more sense like finding pieces of a puzzle.
Finally it all came together.1
Fuck AngularJS' scope fuckery. Yes it's legacy shit in an old project.
A minor change fucked up the model scope shitfuck thus leading to improper input model fuckvalues.
Go rot in pieces and perish.1
Have you ever looked that code thats comparable to a ship made with pieces of wood and ducktape but yet still manages to stay afloat?
Yup, that's my code3
Fucking apple... Just fucking apple... And their piece of shit frameworks... Stochastic, unpredictable, unreliable, clusterfuck pieces of shit!2
So we are migrating between different hosts so I write a nice script to move two pieces of encrypted data between the two, one over ssh, the other over https to two separate end points. One boss says can’t do that as it is insecure because they come from the same script!
Another boss objected that I wrote a script to dump databases in bash rather than like his in PHP even all his PHP does is run the same bash commands, I just took out the middleman and made it faster.
If on windows and looking for reliable simple screen recording software just install CamStudio already and do not waste your life on the other fancy named pieces of shit that cannot even save a properly encoded video file.1
Thinking about a doing a small YouTube series about how I would have done specific failed or succeeding pieces of tech, my first would be in windows mobile...
Anyone else able to think of any subjects I could cover?3
Thankfully I've been lucky enough to work with many brilliant people. The best being the ones who are enthusiastic about sharing tips, tricks and helpful advice to new people. Little pieces of advice from old colleagues have followed me throughout my career, for sure.
By contrast, people who sit in a dark corner, bemoaning everything and being completely unwilling to help can have enough negative impact to cause talented people to leave.
I still don't understand blockchain.
I've read a lot of articles about blockchain and cryptocurrency and still don't understand it completely. the part I'm missing is the storage part (which is the main thing I guess). is the data stored in pieces in every device, or how does this go? what if someone unplugs their device, what happens to the info of my wallet that was stored on that device?11
My employer should burn his DevOps system to the ground: esoteric configuration split on 1000 files, bugs and downtime almost daily, not communicated breaking changes which breaks pipelines, shitty documentation, few opportunities for customization and for everything you have to open a fucking ticket, I love programming but since I have to spend more time on a fucking ticketing system rather than on Vim my motivation is gradually falling to pieces.5
I know there are a lot of “devs” out there who only feel responsible for the ‘code’ - but you aren’t.
You’re responsible for the end product too.
When you help build a steaming pile of shit - it’s your fucking fault. It’s not the boss’s fault - it’s everyone who let it happen’s fault.
These hell-holes like Kaiser Permanente and Covered California - and nearly all the government portals and the banks... and almost everything I can think of - are way past unacceptable. You are hurting everyone.
If you are putting these pieces of trash into the word: you need to rethink your life. If there is a hell, you are going there.
Wake the fuck up.
You’re going to have to use these things when you are older. Your kids will have to use them. Your parents will have to use them.
Set an example. Stop making horrible things that don’t work and hurt people.
Start changing - today.13
Do you have ever tried to recover a very valuable shredded stack of paper (4 sheets)? They are shredded into A LOT OF PIECES and not stripes as I hoped for!!
After 5 hours work I have found 15 pieces which fit together! I am so pissed about myself and my incompetence when it comes to data cleaning 😡😠🤬14
I was adding a new API integration into the product today, half of the API Documentation is written like shit, and has mistakes in them.
Okay, I kind of solved what ever errors there were in the documentation and got the API to give a response.
Tried to simulate an error response and all I get is 'Internal Server Error'.
What fucking pieces of shit wrote an API, which doesn't provide a correct error response.
I had to write to the support team in order to get everything clarified.
The elements that were indicated as optional should be there in the request it seems, if you don't want to enter any data for that, pass an empty string to it.
Atleast they could've given a proper error response / their documentation could've been better!4
So i was putting finishing touches on an android game i was building in Unity3D as a fun side project - implementing google play leaderboards and google ads.
Luckily google is nice enough to include 2 unity plugins for ads and leaderboards/achievements however, THE FUCKING PLUGINS AREN'T COMPATIBLE. TWO PIECES OF SOFTWARE THAT ARE LITERALLY MEANT TO WORK TOGETHER HAVE COLLIDING .JAR FILES PREVENTING ME FROM BUILDING THE APK.
i had to spend fucking days trying to figure out how to unpack the jar files and what to remove from them so they would stop colliding.
These goddamn fuckers who every week spam people because their CI or code is broken. Apparently it's more important than other projects. Douchenuggets send an email and CCs the whole department and all the bosses and basically says "It's all broken, the whole company needs to work on this asap, it's possibly x other person's fault".
Then when you try to troubleshoot it because bosses want it fixed, the dumb pieces of fuck made a bug in their code that they could have easily fixed if they took the time to troubleshoot themselves instead of panicking like jackasses. Or better, have good tests and actual error handling.
I swear some day I am gonna get into a fistfight I started because of this bullshit.
I once was sitting in a somewhat boring class on networks and computer architecture towards the end of the term. Nobody was really listening and the lecture was kind of a collection of random bits and pieces related to the subject matter.
So I tried out playing Duke Nukem on my rather weak laptop on DosBox. I was sitting quite in front of the class room, and the profesor could clearly hear my fan working like crazy. Later in his lecture he did a short excourse on cloud gaming, showing us nVidia's graphics card cloud where you could do remote gaming, the graphics being rendered remotely and streamed to your box over the interwebs.
I looked up from my game and said to the professor: "If I had this now, my fan would not be that loud." Even the professor laughed.
Hey devRant! Long time no see
I recently landed a job as a java developer so that's amazing
Still getting my head around the company's codebase, and holy fuck its huge.
I was taught best oop practices and patterns in CS class, but seeing them implemented in such a huge project is kinda pisssing me off: every single thing in the code has dozens of classes that call and implement each other, I spend half my time spamming the "open declaration" shortcut in a futile attempt to understand how the pieces fit together.
Sometimes I wish they had stuck to implementing everything in a handful of files, instead of the jungle of nested packages and references I got :pensive:
Oh well at least most thing are documented :shrug:
I kinda get y some people despise java for being so verbose and forcing strict pop on the programmer XD4
Feeling the need to know everything about web dev (frontend for now) already yesterday, though not having a clue, what to look at first, as it's its own universe. Everything has a million ways of implementation, combination and features worth looking at.
Already have worked with basic HTML, CSS and JS, had a short look a Typescript, being confronted with React Typescript + Redux + thunk, SASS, learned some basics of all.
Feeling lack of motivation to build smth to learn, yet I want to explore. Afraid to get stuck in tutorial hell, although I know, changing smth here and there in the projects is a must for learning. Feeling the lack of understanding the bits and pieces of what can be styled with CSS in which way. Understanding how npm, webpack, the strange parts of JS, ES6, work.
So ... freaking ... much ....2
Took the dive and started learning kubernetes for the last 90 minutes or so. All I can say at this time... is... fuckin' hell m8!
It's some pretty damn cool tech and deconstructing the pieces to understand how to properly build on top of it has been interesting; to say the least.
but shit, man...
the amount of abstractions happening on top of docker/containerd are just asking for tons of problems hahaha. The last place I worked, we had a fair share of devs that either could not or would not bother with trying to understand docker and would constantly push code to the environments, shit would break, and then they'd come to my team and ask us to basically be human log parsers for them... how in the hell my last company is going to fare with trying to roll out kube is beyond me.
tl;dr - kubernetes has a buttload of moving targets and abstracts a metric-fuck-ton of stuff. Last company I worked for is gonna strugglepuff trying to use it.
I picked a module of my nodejs app which uses MongoDB to pieces until I had no more idea what could be wrong. It should work. There could be nothing wrong. Then I thought: "What if I try to find() from the wrong collection?" Yes. Fucking YES! I've lost about 2 hours of my life because I've written the collection name in singular rather then plural. Just a fucking single character. Just a fucking "s"! Why don't you output an error? Why? Fuck you! Why don't you do that?1
This is a post to congratulate a certain developer.
Mortal kombat 11 has had a rough start. First people found out it used denuvo, then people were mad that there were microtransactions (all items are obtainable trough gameplay and they are only kosmetic) then there was some kontroversy about a certain character saying something political. After that people tried playing the new towers of time mode. And it was fucking hard. Way too hard. And you know what netherrealm did? (I'm looking at you bungie you filthy pieces of shit) they said they were going to look into it and they gave everyone a huge amount of every currency. That is how you apologize. Aspiring game developers, take note.19
TLDR: I'm switching between many webstacks and its starting to hinder my progress. What is the best stack to use with bootstrap?
Ok, guys I really need your help with this.
Currently, I'm working on a bootstrap page and it requires more dynamic pieces to work. It has become frustrating to continue moving on from where I'm standing and thus I would like to switch it up a little. I'm not used to dealing with several languages at once. Right now, I'm pulling data from the server with PHP, and I'm trying to quickly pick up AJAX to update data asynchronously in the page. However, the problem I'm running into now is how do I connect everything within my page in a coherent way that doesn't become a disjointed mess?
My question is in order to start building a dynamic bootstrap website --that communicates with a server to get data-- what can I do to keep myself sane and make everything a little more organized?5
So... Working alone in a hollyday, at night .
Turning mill operator.
Started working here 2 months ago.
Had to stop a machine. They like to work by brute force here, so a tool is braking on every piece I try to make...
Might just go home early.
I know what the problem is and how to solve it, but I'm new here, I'm not going to tell the engenheir how these very expensive machines should operate.
Problem is: cutting tool should cut at most 1mm per passage, they program only one passage so its cutting maybe 10mm each time.
I just had to change a few parameters in the variables for cutting depth... But they will never learn while operators solve that problem behind the boss back. So machine is resting.
Also have no more pieces to work in the other machines... They don't pay well, so 4 people left just last month for better jobs and now there isn't enough workers to keep production.
Why do people still use 1940's methods in today's companies?2
When any of us devs asked the senior "dev" who designed it if there was any documentation on it so we could actually get started on working, he literally told us we sucked ass and that we were pieces of shit that knew nothing of programming.9
Webflow is the worst pieces of shit software I have ever used. Ffs why the fuck people use this crap4
The jolly of unriddling multiple DNS zone overrides to a static, single IP of a HAProxy loadbalancer which acts as a router and has domain based backend association rules, but frontend based CORS overrides.
My eyes are bleeding, my brain is defeated and I think I need more gaffa type to put together the pieces of what some puny humans call a soul.
I have a solution in mind and it’s really not that complex but my brain just doesn’t want to connect all the pieces..
When I think about component a and b, then c and a don’t work together. So I come up with a solution for a and a but then b is loose again..
I think I’m getting old🤕8
Why do people use fucking IE/Edge, that makes Styling so fucking complicated, half of the things are not fucking supported, and these fucking clients want support for those damn fucking piece of shit browsers.
I just want to blow up every fucking computer which still has no other browser Except those pieces of shit.2
Hey guys, continuing the yesterday's topic...
This is the result of all I learned and tested yesterday.
Problem: new black filament from China.
Result, piece is bent and cracked.
Brim: fucking 25 mm
Inicial speed 20 mm/s
Adesion: glue stick + airspray + permanent glue spray
And the pieces still fucking bend in the table contact side.
Top is perfect except for some cracks, but the bellow side is just pressed to itself and bends, warping the piece.
What could I change now? What could be the problem and reason for this? Worked perfectly with the first white filament.31
What could've been an interesting Software Design course turned into a frustrating buggy, uselessly time-consuming experience because of the shitty software we had to work with (ironically). Creating diagrams in fucking Papyrus for a Java 3D engine simulator that stopped being supported 8 years ago was definitely a stupid educational choice. Instead of focussing on understanding how to effectively draw and design such systems, we spent hours and hours trying to figure out the bugs in these pieces of software and finding workarounds, because we are of course not allowed to use other tools. What a waste of time.
Maybe I am beyond sanity or I'm ignoring myself as a masochist, but I find dividing huge-ass React DOM lines into multiple smaller components then reconnect everything extremely satisfying.
It's like, cutting a human body into small pieces, and tidy the parts up into a small compartments, BUT still connect the bones, muscles and nevers so that somehow, the dude still lives.
You know what, I'm going for the "beyond sanity" thing.
But worth it.6
At work, I code primarily with Java.
I'm a big believer in the mantra, "if it ain't broke, don't fix it", but I find myself conflicted with that when I can see how much of an improvement it would be to use a different language for some of the simple pieces in our integration.
When should one start considering other languages for your team? And if you choose other options, how do you do it in such a way where you don't end up building a chimera of an integration?3
"Lol, just search it up on our webpage"
Now I have enough of this shit I fucking go grab a chainsaw and cut you into the tiniest pieces possible then pour gasoline on your fucking servers and lit them on fire. How the fuck should I remain calm if there is at least two fucking email I can't send because your fucking piece of shit server gets blacklisted EVERY FUCKING WEEK.
Oh how cool you made ipv6 available to shared plans so outlook servers won't blacklist mails. But guess what, it STILL DOESN'T WORK!!! Not to mention that you automatically modify my existing SPF record and set the shared storage ipv6 address to the main domain which should be pointing to the vps (still working though but have no idea why). I am so fucking fed up with people for today, and it's only just morning.
Client demo today..
Did lots of configuration stuff in this sprint and when talking through it I confuse even myself.. so many things that were done for one specific goal..
They will be confused during the whole demo, only in the last 2 min it will start to make any sense - when all the pieces come together.
It’ll be fun..4
That son of a bitch, tbat was supposed to set up home internet, didn't show up. AGAIN! Timeframe of 2h and I was there 1h before and after it. Brain dead pieces of shit didn't call me and I - once again - lost 2h of work. Shitstained ISP hell, these fuckers are within 5 minutes distance from my home, but I have to spend my days without real internet again3
Perfect my script to automate YouTube videos to tiktok. The script would take a YouTube url as input and then split the video into 3 minute long pieces ( the longest time allowed for tiktok ) and post it to tiktok. I’ve gotten it before but I had to do some fucked shit bc I couldn’t get puppeteer to bypass tiktok’s bot security so it’s super inconsistent1
Very tired of people that turn around to me and say “this is sales, you have to know your audience, it’s not based on truth and logic”... basically an excuse for telling outright lies and expecting me to pick up the pieces when reality bites and the lies come back to haunt them, all for the sake of “closing the deal”8
It really bugs me out when your co workers start working on a project without telling you. Makes me feel undervalued. I would not complete their sloppy seconds this time for sure
Have to translate an API library from Ruby into PHP for work, and I swear it's all of the worst pieces of BASIC and Swift thrown together. To top it off, looking up a symbol chart for it to try and get a handle on the symbols they love to throw in front of variable and method names is useless because "symbol" is a freaking type in this language! Arrays are apparently called "hashes" now, and I can't quite tell if modules are supposed to be namespaces or classes yet...
If Ruby has redeeming qualities, I'm definitely open to hearing them. Right now I'm kind of feeling homesick for vanilla C, however...1
My bank's website is the shittiest fucking site in the world. It literally kills my phone, to the point where my browser takes a full 5 minutes to exit.
The latest bug I mean feature they have rolled out interrupts your login with a fullscreen modal which asks if you want the app or to continue on the site.
Well, the fact that I'm in a browser means I've already made up my mind so why don't you go and fuck yourself? And based on the quality of your website, do you really think I want to voluntarily install software that you've sellotaped together onto my device?
Go and fuck yourself you pieces of shit.2
Motherfucking braindead pieces of shit software we need to pay 2k out of 2k too much for, don't fucking throe an error in production because we didn't provide a fucking optional parameter. That's why it is optional to begin with. What the fuck kind of shit when through tour mind when you introduced this shit?2
I'm pretty much at my dream job currently. A lot of autonomy as a developer, solo projects, as there are only two developers in-house and each of us is covering roughly half of the systems, we rarely work on the same thing at the same time. We do have weekly sync checkins to keep each other appraised and offer a helping hand/eye when needed.
There's always a but.
Our IT department used to service 500 to 1000 employees 7 years ago, and now, through growth, opening new sibling companies, and merging with our competitors we're at 6k, give or take.
Maybe it's the aftermerge crunch to harmonize our IT systems but I've been working 10+ hours from August. It's an interesting couple of new pieces of software that I'm writing but, the deadlines are pretty tight and business requirements are anything but tight still.
I love my job, but I wish to get the bigger stuff done soon so I can take it easy.
In the only halfway accessible room in a half-timbered medieval house which was under construction between mountains of wood pieces and tools.
Most recent and visible trend for me is reuse everything. Nobody wants to have anything new, they just want new glue between old pieces.
Joining a new company in 2021 as a tech lead. What are your top three pieces of advice l, esp given everyone is fully remote still given Covid-19?3
Spend the past few days 3D printing those mask holders on my 3D printer, currently sitting at about 72 pieces in total to give away to friends and family around here :)8
Another question for Database-Gurus:
Is a MySQL table with 4 columns and about 42000+ rows considered 'big' or should the table be split in smaller pieces?5
Soo I finally uploaded my framework for Java Web last week.
It works great except for forwarding POST requests but meh, I'll fix it later.
Currently it only works for newer Minecraft Spigot version's and BungeeCord, because fucking netty is a piece of shit and Apache commons also... But I'll release a standalone version hopefully next month (maybe even next weekend).
And on the website from Spigot where you can find the link to my GitHub, there were two dicks which tried to steal my code and complained about my obfuscation... The didn't even fucking tried the plugin and gave me 1 star... Fucking pieces of shit fuck...
Anyway: here is the link!
So... I've been looking for a week on why my machine was braking tools on every piece...
Found out yesterday, it was machining without water....
Told the engenheir (my direct boss)... Started working at midnight and was the same...
Decided to fix it, besides the fact that I'm a temp and shouldn't be doing his job...
Can't fix it... To many broken pieces....
Well a few metal pipes like straws and some rubber bands and its fixed for now...
I really can't understand why a engenheir gets 10x more money and can't bother to fix the machines....
Well I know why... He's not the one paying for new ones when these brake.
Next: other machine Is working without oil...
And no, I'm not messing with that... In a few months they will just have to buy a new one.4
"To be truly great, we have to understand the motivation of our clients, maintain constant two-way communication with shockingly uncreative people, get a firm handle on copywriting and how that craft exists symbiotically with the visual element, and foresee how the finished whole will be greater than the sum of the bits and pieces we spent hours obsessing over. All of these factors cascade into the final product." - Kevin Potts
A space game (obviously) where ships are built and broken in convex pieces. With in-game computers and ship design/construction software, of course. Because what would a game engine be without the ability to play a game within the game, with exactly the same visual quality as in the outer one?
Edit: Game-within-game premise based on the idea that it will be easier to write the ship-CAD software in a game engine than from scratch
Edit 2: may as well also be able to play the actual game within itself, since it would be like holodeck simulations2
Ok so guys, I really love back-end, but sometimes I'd like to do a complete software to show off to friends in my free time, So question:
What programming language should I learn to make gui softwares?
I don’t want them to be pieces of art, just functional and with not too man " unintentional features".
I really love Python, but for gui heard it's meh, but may be wrong
I don't want web technologies
looking forward to learning C, but not necessarily for gui
could try c++ I guess
Don’t want .net (coz you know ms and their Java knockoff)
Ruby seems cool, but it seems to be annihilated by ruby on rails
Not Java but Kotlin seems really cool, could also go with scala, idk
Forgot the other things3
I recently started a Java blog
Right now i just wrote some blog entries with rather small content. But I am not sure if in-depth entrys would be more valuable. Do you prefer blogs with small pieces of information oder in-depth content?
Feel free to have a look
one of the projects i maintain is something no one else knows much about in the company. its a huge project which maintaining is a nightmare that casued previous ppl to quit.
i have been vigilant for 1.5 years, finally they agreed to give me help. so we got another dev to help.
i was given a bunch of tasks, he was given a few as well. Now he convinced everyone in the company that he is the owner of the project...and everyone thinks i handed over the project to him...
why are people pieces of attention seeking shit ?2
Unguided code style decisions and the whole personal style things sometimes display an intention behind a piece of code. They can hint on semantics and relations between the pieces of data or operations, like it's often the case with grouping that doesn't separate bunch of statements with a blank line. Sometimes, they can even carry an emotional message. Love, hate, grudges, deepest affection for some golden hammer feature of the language, everything is on the table actually. For instance, this is what fear looks like:
Ok, which datacenter do I have to set fire to, in order to stop these FUCKING PROMOTIONAL SMS MESSAGES THAT I KEEP GETTING FROM MY FUCKING PHONE OPERATOR??
NOW I'M GETTING PUSH MESSAGES TOO?!? BURN IN HELL YOU FUCKING FUCKS!
I WILL BUILD A FUCKING ARSENAL OF FUCKING ROCKETS AND I'LL SHOVE THEM UP YOUR SHITTY ASS AND BLOW YOU UP IN SO MANY PIECES THAT EVEN AVOGADRO WON'T BE ABLE TO COUNT HOW MANY WILL BE LEFT OF YOU.
AND SPOILER ALERT: I ALREADY KNOW HOW TO BUILD ROCKETS, SO YOU BETTER START RUNNING4
I made the mistake my first year as a programmer to start sim racing. It was a disaster. I was continuing staring at a screen. The next step was buing woods and knifes for woodcarving. Still a disaster. It was demanding the same concentrations in very small pieces for my eyes, just like code. Now, i learned. I get a motorcycle and i hope riding soon. I believe it is the ultimate anti-stress activity. Nothing to do with high speeds, just the feeling of riding, and doing something not mentally2
MPLABX, eclipse and netbeans are biggest pieces of shit software in the world, fucken a I can’t stand this slowness, over bloat, locking up, and the unable to resolve bullshit,
(Porting a suppliers project and build script over to a simple makefile, and so the project can open and build in sublime or vim rather these other bullshit IDES9
Is a company bad if it puts constant pressure on developers to quickly deliver bits and pieces of functionality the client desires with little attention to quality? The focus is then on pleasing the client at the most shallow level by providing a stream of quick fixes, only to be met with an equal amount of bug reports, even after the full testing stack by the testing team.5
What's the general Software Engineering rule of thumb again for frontend templating code?
If I look at certain websites, I notice some code smells in PHP such as:
$.modal = <?php echo $(base)["username"] != 'me' ?' ': echo 'style="display=none"' ?>
On the other hand, many popular frameworks properly do templating, such as EJS, containing templating in one place and not mixing it with logic too much but just having simple output like <%= %>.
I know I've seen frameworks like Angular 1 contain pieces of HTML into directives, but maybe that's something different, more 'OO'-simulating or cleaner.3
I just look up resources, bits and pieces, and make something out of it. Usually some text adventure.
At my first job, I was in test automation. For a major new complicated feature, I was the test lead and its final stages coincided with a company trip to Israel. I got to sit side by side with its lead developer and he went over all his code and database changes with me. He kept stopping because I guess I had that deer in headlights expression and he thought he was boring me. Actually I was just in awe. He was so proud of his work on it and had every right to be. It was so cool of him to take an hour or two and break it down for me like that.
He told me he wanted to make sure I understood all the pieces involved so I could test more and he could release a rock solid new feature.
trying to rediscover specific pieces of tribal knowledge with no documentation and no starting point...
guess I'll just start grepping servers until I find a clue
Has anyone maybe a link to HTTP security topics in general?
I find often breadcrumbs, like in several different attack possibilities, but nothing comprehensive.
Mostly regarding HTTP 1.1 / HTTP 2 (h2c) and proxying.
I'm currently unclogging an whole ecosystem of proxies, endpoints, edge nodes and so on...
My knowledge is limited and it's frustrating to Google cause seemingly I get always just pieces of the puzzles but not a collection -.-
(Looking for specific information, e.g. regarding attacks like H2C Smuggling, HPACK attacks, stuff regarding Cookies / Headers / Encoding... But please not spread over several dozen pages where it becomes frustrating to read the same shit over and over again without learning something new :( )3
Once again spent a day MacGyvering together all the missing pieces of the app for tomorrows presentation deadline. This time the code base is 95% good code and 5% of dirty hacks which are essential for the rest to function properly.
One day I'll enough time to finish a development cycle on time. One day...
There is no reason for detailed tech specs except for putting blame on people and covering ass. (Critical industry with strict standards excluded)
It should be a high level overview.
Then you start working on it and then review small pieces in code review and make modifications as more edge cases surface.2
Today I am venting with a text I sent to my friend and colleague:
"Awh fuck when I tried to get all the pieces together - migration and elitism - there were bugs everywhere, even from places I thought I had sorted out. BUGS, BUGS never die! 🐛🐜🕷🐛🐞"
Sortza - It is a time based gaming application where a user is presented with some educative questions and is expected to sort them in a particular order by dragging the pieces either up or down before the time elapses5
std::cout from C++.
Why? Because I use it all the time, can't live without it.
Sometimes the most important pieces of code is the simplest.
btw you pieces of shit.
you all knew what you were doing.
every single one of you.
you all knew you were murdering civilization
driving people crazy for no valid reason
you knew you were stealing your former victims memories and photos and everything else
and i wrote this before.
you're going to buy a gun and shoot me.26
I suck at front. I lack some front-related stuff in my project and I seriously struggle with all that css.
I'd love if I could find someone to do those small pieces for me, but I really don't feel like paying someone a whole month salary for a two days job.
How can I find devs who could write parts of the code I lack skills to write myself? Do freelancers take on tasks that small? How do I know they won't be stalling the task just to get more €s out of me?
How can I find someone to help me out? How do you guys do that?2
Today I finally smashed/carefully took apart an old piece of furniture.
Kept all the big pieces of wood, because I'm gonna turn them into cutting boards.
The furniture has been with my scout group for 15 years, so it has some sentimental value to some people, but to most it was just a useless piece of shit.
Reduce-reuse-recycle I guess.
Firebase is a fucking piece of dog shit.
Testing is so bad and complicated to set up, I've spent two days trying to write ONE fucking simple test with an auth middleware via expressjs. Why firebase doesn't mock my dung, you pieces of shit. Even the documentation is all spread out, it's difficult and terrible to follow. I would rather build my own backend because of all the workarounds I have to make because of your limited SHIT product. Even the type libraries are shit, import Timestamp? NOPE. YOU HAVE TO IMPORT FIREBASE TO IMPORT A TIMESTAMP. Learn to define types, shitty google devs. You all suck, thanks for making shitty clients sdk's.
I hope this piece of shit gets deprecated and my clients stops using it.4
God want the owed money and records and to leavvvee and live
Oh btw thanks so much for occupying some inhuman assholes time who taunted me with my own property and videos and then stole them again
But could have just shot him too.
As with most of these inhuman pieces of robot garbage who randomly decided it was time to live like crazy pieces of whore shit long past where anyone or anything would ever want to put something into their pedo private parts12
Pieces of shit probably act like they’re giving me reminders allowing me to move on with life constantly
That’s not how this works at all6
Aren't we all, just pieces of pseudo softwares, reverse engineering our way to find our source code....🤔1
My ambition to learn is too much for my own good. I have so much desire to learn and get going that I'm all over the place reading bits and pieces cause I can't seem to get my foot in the door and figure out where to start from the very very beginning to figure out how to start actually learning to code.
So, I feel wayyy behind the tech curve right now.
The SSD implementations you see online, they're still just a bunch of seperate sort of chaos machines that contain the standard perceptron-like model of a weight, cost, and bias right ? They just kind of inferred their values by training like any other neural network, in its sep-erate parts and just fed pieces of output data generated by other parts of the neural network to it right ?
I mean it implements with pytorch so its basically a really big array of tuples in a sense that are maniupulated in a specific way.
and then CNN's just feed data back into another trained piece of the model right ?
I'm curious because object classification is about the ONLY thing I've seen work even close to properly lol
there is just so much fraud these days. sigh.
and so many lamentable tech choices and attempts... like node lol
Learn git. Contribute to open source projects - you may learn more from code review on a single PR than from a whole tutorial. Ask questions constantly. Learn more git. Look for the cleanest solution to a problem. Write code that is easy to improve, easy to expand, and easy to debug. Learn even more git. Don't limit yourself to thinking only in terms of OOP, or functional, or procedural, or whatever type of programming you may be comfortable with. Don't be afraid to do some work by hand. Learn git, so that when all comes crashing down and your team crumbles to pieces, when your relationships fail and your friends disappear, when you're down on your luck and there truly is no hope left in life, you can check out of the dangerous world of your current HEAD and return to the home and comfort of your master branch, which you've kept safe, secure, and functional.
I can't help but keep watching the Yonyx from bigbug demonstrating the fate of humanity if we ever creative artificial life.
That and he's funny as hell :P
Any other amusing french cinema ? I've only seen a few pieces of it including one about two nymphos that go through the film trying to fuck as many people as possible on a train.
I think what is not being understood is we want nothing to do with these pieces of shit or their ridiculous waste of life.2
The best part of being a dev is being able to know how to join the right pieces together for building anything without reinventing the wheel1
-good exercise systematic approach to problem (breaking down problem in to smaller workable pieces)
Far way better than text book based boring classes
What do I want to accomplish from this platform I was asked.
well though this was the most unhappy time period of my life, I suppose the same thing i discover when i come across things i wrote in 2008 and erlier onlinnnnnnnnnne still.
something that provides me of a reminder of what life was like before pieces of shit like you all decided to destroy life in our country and try to replace people and be lured to your own demises heh4