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Search - "#management"
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CS Professor: “What M word is the black hole to all productivity?”
Student: “Management”
CS Professor: “Was going to say meetings but that’s better”16 -
A man flying in a hot air balloon suddenly realizes he’s lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts to get directions, "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?"
The man below says: "Yes. You're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field."
"You must work in Information Technology," says the balloonist.
"I do" replies the man. "How did you know?"
"Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but It's of no use to anyone."
The man below replies, "You must work in management."
"I do," replies the balloonist, "But how'd you know?"*
"Well", says the man, "you don’t know where you are or where you’re going, but you expect me to be able to help. You’re in the same position you were before we met, but now it’s my fault."1 -
I just helped one of our cleaners get Internet since the management whitelisted devices that can get WiFi access.
I believe that anyone, regardless of position, must have equal access to the resources in this company.10 -
In an effort to deal with the number of “top priority” tickets, management has come up with a new priority level, “urgent”, to help differentiate between tickets that are “top priority” and tickets that are actually “top priority”.
So as you can guess all tickets are now codified as “urgent”.
I’ve suggested management downgrade some tickets back to merely “top priority” as we’re clearly right back where we started with it being difficult to determine which order to do tickets in.
They’ve ignored my request as the bletherings of a clearly unenlightened peon, and have instead came up with a new priority, “mission critical” which will be reserved for the most hallowed of emerg— oh no wait everything is now “mission critical” who would have guessed?
So “Top priority” is the now lowest priority a ticket can have…Naturally.16 -
There was a previous developer who my managers has told us was terrible and toxic. Yet due to terrible planning, he had everyone work for over 13 hours last Sunday.
I contacted this previous developer to learn his side of the story and learned a lot. I realize between their two narratives is the truth, but I see all the ways we've been lied, the ways this other dev was scapegoated and all the additional work that's sure to come.
I refuse to work weekends again. I refuse to work over 40 hours. I wish I could convince everyone else to do the same. No amount of money is worth making up for bad planning and management.1 -
A man flying in a hot air balloon suddenly realizes he’s lost. ♨💨🎈
He reduces height and spots a man down below.
He lowers the balloon further and shouts to get directions,
"Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?"
The man below says:
"Yes. You're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field."
"You must work in Information Technology," says the balloonist.
"I do" replies the man. "How did you know?"
"Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but It's of no use to anyone."
The man below replies, "You must work in management."
"I do," replies the balloonist, "But how'd you know?"
"Well", says the man “you don’t know where you are or where you’re going, but you expect me to be able to help. You’re in the same position you were before we met, but now it’s my fault."7 -
Manager: So great news, we will also be building a new app this year!!
Dev: We only have 2 devs and we already struggling to maintain/build our current portfolio of applications. I don’t think we have the resources to support another.
Manager: Nonsense, this is a very small project management app that was requested by the CEO himself!
Dev: …We already have MS project, why can’t they just use that?
Manager: The executive team isn’t interested in learning MS Project, it’s way too complicated. They want us to build an internal version of MS Project one feature at a time so they can pick it up over time instead of getting overwhelmed with learning MS Project all at once. It also needs to have loads of customizable automation features so leadership doesn’t ever have to get “in the weeds” having to work with it. It needs to basically run itself!
Dev: …What about this is small?
Manager: Well that is the requirement.
Dev: …18 -
Discussion between me and my N+1
(Note : I'm in the company for 3 months)
Me : As the tech leader, shouldn't you review my code ?
N+1 : I'm not the tech leader.
Me : Wait what ?
N+1 : I wrote the app from A to Z, hence I'm the architect.
Me : That's what I mean. Being the most knowledgable dev in the company makes you de facto tech leader.
N+1 : No, I'm not the tech leader. The CEO is.
Me : But he didn't even know the tech we are using !
N+1 : .... Anyway, I won't do code reviews. I don't like that.
(2 hours later)
N+1 : You made a mistake in the code. You broke a hidden functionality. You should be more careful, or ask me if you have doubts.
This guy is collector.3 -
So I've been screaming for months that push notifications are not reliable enough to build critical functionality on top of. Management won't listen and keep pushing ahead with making teams use it because its cheap and easy.
Been debugging an issue on/off for several weeks. Turns out someone in management asked the backend team to cut the expiration time of items down to 5 minutes to increase throughput (without telling mobile). Notifications are regularly taking +4 mins to get to the phones, leaving our users with barely any time to react. They are now complaining.
I swear if there is a single IQ point available between the whole team i've yet to see any evidence of it8 -
Management: This project isn’t moving along fast enough, you know what we need?
Dev: An additional dev?
Management: No! An additional manager! We’ll have a meeting about it later today.
Dev: …7 -
Every week is the same. Wake up, new jira ticket. “Build us a pink house”.
*i build a house*
Next day, “URGENT BUG REPORT!!! CRITICAL ISSUE IMPORTANT IMPORTANT IMPORTANT”, click on ticket, “bug report: the house doesn’t have sprinklers”
They didn’t ask for sprinklers. This is not a bug. *i add sprinklers*
Next day, “URGENT BUG REPORT!!! CRITICAL ISSUE IMPORTANT IMPORTANT IMPORTANT ASAP ASAP ASAP”, click on ticket, “bug report: the house is pink.”
HOW IS THAT A BUG TWO DAYS AGO IT WAS LITERALLY A REQUIREMENT
Meanwhile management makes triple my salary6 -
Last week we had a short seminar at work about 'listening skill.'
In that speaker gave an example how 'natural' leaders speak last in the meetings.
From that day we are having entirely silent meetings.
Now management is planning seminar on 'Speaking Up'3 -
Arrived at a game jam in an animation school. I hope they're better at game design than they are at cable management :)7
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A while back a co-worker of mine fucked up by leaving some debug code and pushing to production.
He quickly repaired it, redeployed and everything was good again before the customer experienced any issues.
Later that day, management showed up by his desk to ask what happened, how it happened and stating that he was not "angry enough" about his fuck up, long after it has been repaired.
Up to this day i regret not asking in what unit of measurement we could determine if we were angry enough; decibels? gray hairs? grams of shit in my underwear?4 -
I don't want to write clean code anymore :(
I read Clean Code, Clean Coder, and watched many uncle bob's videos, and I was able to apply best practices and design patterns
I created many systems that really stood the test of time...
Management was kind enough to introduce me to uncle bob clean code in the first place, letting us watch it during work hours. after like one year, my code improved 400% minimum because I am new and I needed guidance from veterans...
That said, to management I am very slow, compared to this other guy, they ask me for a feature and my answer would be like "sure, we need to update the system because it just doesn't support that right now, it is easy though it would take 2 days tops"
they ask the same thing for the other guy : "ok let me see what I can do", 1 hour later, on slack, he writes : done. he slaps bunch of if-statement and make special case that will serve the thing they asked for.
oh 'cool' they say -> but it doesn't do this -> it needs to do that -> ok there is a new bug,-> it doesn't work in build mode-> it doesn't work if you are logged in as a guest, now its perfect ! -> it doesn't work on Android -> ok it works on android but now its not perfect anymore.
and they feel like he is fast (and to be fair he is), this feature? done. ok new bugs? solved. Android compatibility ? just one day ... it looks like he is doing doing doing.
it ends up taking double the time I asked for, and that is not to mention the other system affected during this entire process, extra clean up that I have to do, even my systems that stood the test of time are now ruined and cannot be extracted to other projects. because he just slaps whatever bools and if statements he needs inside any system, uses nothing but Singleton pattern on everything. our app will never be ready-for-business, this I can swear. its very buggy. and to fix it, it needs a change in mentality, not in code.
---------------
uncle bob said : write your code the right way, and the management will see that your code generates less errors, with time, you will earn respect even though they will feel you are slow at first.
well sorry uncle, I've been doing it for a year, my image got bad, you are absolutely right, only when there is no one else allowed to drop a giant shit inside your clean code.
note: we don't really have a technical lead.
-------------------
its been only two days since my new "hack n' slash" meta, the management is already kind of "impressed" ... so I'll keep hacking and slashing until I find a better job.9 -
Doing Linux server management stuff via ssh with a FUCK 500ms PING IS NOT FUN AT ALL
GET OFF THE FUCKING NETWORK EVERYONE 😤😤😤😤😤5 -
Q: WHO THE FUCK USES EXCEL FOR PROJECT MANAGEMENT?
A: My Product Manager
Excel because she cant wrap her head around using Trello. WHAT THE FUCK!
Some people exist just to make things more difficult for everyone else. Fucking pain in the ass.
This person is one of the most incompetent one I have ever met.
I dont have enough words to express my rage right now.13 -
Small company (1-100 people).
The head of the company comes into the 4-man engineering department and tells the RF engineer that the wireless project will be canceled. The project timeline the RF engineer proposed the week before is not feasible for the company.
RF engineer asks, point blank, if he should pack up and leave. The guy says "no".
A few weeks later the RF engineer puts in his letter of resignation. The head of the company pulls him aside and asks why he's leaving. Wants to know what went wrong...
THE F***ING RF GUY WON'T BE DOING RF, THAT'S WHY!!!
Management at this company is so confused.
(Had to rant. I hear that's what this site is for...)3 -
*makes course outline*
Management: Um yeah make the outline similar to this course from earlier
Me: Hmm, so Yocto etc.. well that'll require a good amount of research because I've got no idea what Yocto is or how I'm supposed to use it.
*researches about Yocto, prepares build VM and Raspberry Pi target, thinks of how on Earth I'd make my coworker without Raspberry Pi interface with it from across the world*
2 days later..
Management: Yeah actually we don't want Yocto. Just do simple stuff like application development, GPIO etc.
Me & co-worker: Awesome mate! That'll make things a lot easier. Except for the 2 days of lost work, but we can live with that if it's just GPIO and such.
3 days later..
Management: guys your course outline sucks. Do it all over again, we want Yocto to be in it after all.
YOU MOTHERFUCKERS!!! Why don't you behave a little bit less like a fucking client that doesn't know what they want for once?!!18 -
Manager: Hey Dev I need to do QA on this PR.
Dev: That PR is not finished yet
Manager: Well do QA now anyway, that way when it is finished it can be merged in right away since QA has already been done on it. It’s a project management technique called “fast-tracking” and it improves efficiency.
Dev: …9 -
Every single fucking time:
Developers: Maybe we'll do something nice for the users, like signing in with Facebook account?
Business: Nah, nobody is gonna pay for that and it sounds useless. We're good with current solutions. Just do your job!
half a year later:
Business: Hey, I just came up with the idea that we could have logging in with Facebook.
Also business: Wow, great idea!
Management: Here's your bonus for a great idea!
Developers: ...5 -
When management produces a list of priorities but every item on the list is #1 priority. So some items are in BOLD to signify their even greater priority over other priorities.14
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me : *leaving 15 min earlier*
manager : IT'S UNACCEPTABLE, HOW CAN WE BUILD A TRUST RELATIONSHIP LIKE THAT
manager one week later: yeah we need you to work till midnight if needed today. You cannot say no.
me : ¯\_(ツ)_/¯8 -
To Managers: If your developers are suddenly so unproductive and uncommunicative, it's not likely that they turned into worse developers in all of a sudden. Take a time to review your management strategies, seriously.4
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Although I can easily support myself through my current manual labor work, I am starting to dread going to work because I just really miss programming and server management 😞
The job isn't even that bad but idk, I just really miss devving throughout the day 😩8 -
This next one is dedicated to a couple of special people at my workplace:
- The person who uploaded internal-use-only code to a personal repository on GitHub
- The network team that has blocked any and all access to GitHub
- The obscured mass of management bureaucracy that makes it pretty much impossible for anyone at my level to make any sort of appeal
This one's for you:
*ahem*
WHY?!3 -
Recently, one of our passwords was accidently published on a public page for a few minutes before it was noticed and removed. Unfortunately, this password opens nearly every locked account so it's a pretty big deal.
Management was informed of this mistake and told that we should change the passwords as well as implement a few other protocols to make sure this doesn't happen again including things like unique passwords, more secure passwords, using a password manager, etc.
Their response? It wasn't online long, probably no one saw it. There will be no changes in how we handle ours or our clients' secure passwords.6 -
Management and other senior leadership have been really shitty recently, I got showed up in a meeting in front of about 20 of my peers and people myself/them and treated like a fucking child.
So I took a week off, uploaded my CV and today, after about 30 calls with offers, I attended two interviews and got two amazing offers of employment!
More money, less responsibility, better career development, modern company and less stress!
I’m so happy and can’t wait to go into work on Monday morning and tell them all to FUCK OFF!3 -
Feeling productive at a Sunday evening. Let's install a DNS server and a fucking mail server on two forgotten VPS's I am still paying for.
SO A-FUCKING-PPEARANTLY, THEIR WEB MANAGEMENT PANEL IS FUCKED UP SO I CANNOT REINSTALL MY MOTHERFUCKER VPS's. HOW FUCKING FUCKING FUCKING FUCKING DIFFICULT CAN IT BE.15 -
CEO: Ok guys, we need x feature by Friday
Me: This would normally take more than a month!
CEO: But I already told our customers we'll have this feature
Me: ...
Why the fuck does the management never consult me for timelines.11 -
This happened today...
Manager: how long this is going to take?
Dev: 3 months
M: cool! 3 weeks then
D: no.. This is quite complicated and most of us are unfamiliar with the topics. It'll take us 2 weeks just to get started
M: drop the unit tests then. Just get the features done in 3 weeks. We have customers waiting
D: that's a bad idea. We'll end up with unstable co..
M: oh we also need to complete documentation, release guide, and this [shitty feature no one care about]
D: but that is even more complex. We don't have enough ti..
M: just copy it from stackoverflow. It'll only take 5 minutes guys
Worst part? This guy is technically sound and understands our pain really well. He is just acting dumb and trying to put the blame on us when the higher management asks
Second worst part? The whole team keeps silent when I try to convince him somehow and starts ranting after he leaves the call1 -
Great ... after management got our system destroyed by some external idiots, pledged to never do this again, they now hired externals again to do a whole project by themselves.
Last time we lost all but one senior dev (that would be me) ... this time they'll lose the last one as well. Don't care of this whole department goes tits up anymore, I'm out. If everything goes well, I'm signing a new contract in a few days, making me free in 3-4 months (yes, German labour laws have long periods when you quit ;) ).
Dear management, have fun managing a bunch of rookies with no contacts in the company.1 -
A man flying in a hot air balloon suddenly realizes he’s lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts to get directions, "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?"
The man below says: "Yes. You're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field."
"You must work in Information Technology," says the balloonist.
"I do" replies the man. "How did you know?"
"Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but It's of no use to anyone."
The man below replies, "You must work in management."
"I do," replies the balloonist, "But how'd you know?"*
"Well", says the man, "you don’t know where you are or where you’re going, but you expect me to be able to help. You’re in the same position you were before we met, but now it’s my fault."3 -
I just lost faith in the entire management team of the company I'm working for.
Context: A mid sized company with
- a software engineering departmant consisting of several teams working on a variety of products and projects.
- a project management department with a bunch of project managers that mostly don't know shit about software development or technical details of the products created by engineering.
Project management is unhappy about the fact that software engineering practically never sticks to the plan regarding cost, time and function that was made at the very beginning of the project. Oh really? Since when does waterfall project management work well? As such they worked out a great idea how to improve the situation: They're going to implement *Shopfloor Management*!
Ever heared about Shopfloor Management? Probably not, because it is meant for improving repetitive workflows like assembly line work. In a nutshell it works by collecting key figures, detecting deviation in these numbers and performing targeted optimization of identified problem areas. Of course, there is more to Shopfloor Management, but that refers largely to the way the process just described is to be carried out (using visualisation boards, treating the employee well, let them solve the actual problem instead of management, and so on...). In any case, this process is not useful for highly complex and hard-to-predict workflows like software development.
That's like trying to improve a book author's output by measuring lines of text per day and fixing deviations in observed numbers with a wrench.
Why the hell don't they simply implement something proven like Scrum? Probably because they're affraid of losing control, affraid of self managed employees, affraid of the day everybody realizes that certain management layers are useless overhead that don't help in generating value but only bloat.
Fun times ahead!8 -
If I hear the word "techie" one more time from management, I'm gone lose my shit!!!
I don't go around calling them "managies" all day!!!14 -
An important message:
PrOpErLy managing servers is HARD.
I get pissed off at customers with ZERO server knowledge who think they can manage their VPS. “Just get a control panel and a VPS” from some flashy provider that makes server management look way too easy.. Clicking around in their fancy control panel, until:
- they need help with their *self-managed* VPS;
- their email ends up in spam;
- they suffer from performance issues;
- they need to restore a backup;
- something breaks, because YES, things break
Way too little people are able to answer:
- when and how do you make backups?
- how do you monitor your servers and which services?
- how do you keep track of trend analysis?
Then I come by with necessary software. SNMP for trend analysis, Graphite for infrastructure health, Sensu for monitoring, Kibana, Ansible for configuration management..
Things that servers need but that customers have never even heard of.. because they can do everything in their control panel..
Until they come crying to me because it broke and they don’t even know how to get into SSH.
I think the ones to blame are VPS providers that tell the tale of how easy it is to install a control panel and never look at your server again.
Customers become responsible for something *business-critical*! Yet they don’t know how it works.6 -
I'm currently reading a course in Project Management and I have yet to find an image in the course literature with a person that doesn't suffers from a headache.1
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At lunch, someone asked a question about our Sunday Hack-a-thon. Our PO said it was a "Smack-a-thon." I told her, "No, don't make stupid names. Let's call things what they are. It's Management Failure Sunday." Manager was sitting across the table when I said it.4
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A) Create something that works, is fast, minimum bugs, have edge cases covered, nice testes, clean code. Cool, you did your job. END.
B) Create something shitty with bugs, performance issues, non or poor test coverage, mess code, etc. Cool, you did you job. But...
Next week you reduced bugs by 50%. Wow, you're rockstar.
Another week you improved performance by 15%. Again, you're the hero.
2 weeks later, you reached 85% test coverage. Management is so happy that almost got orgasm.
"A" took 3 months, "B" took 3 months plus few months of fixes. The only time where B was winning was first 4 weeks, where A was carefully building it's architecture and quality.
Yet B is seemed more successful.
This industry is F****d Up beyond my understanding.6 -
I just blocked some of the top management from connecting to our WLAN because I was testing a verifing feature for said WiFi that kicks all devices not listed in the DB.
It happened while my boss/senior/guidance was trying to show them the advantages of a centrally managed infrastructure.
He covered my ass well and tried to sell it to them as proof of a secure solution, that unknown devices couldn't log in.
I feel like human trash right now, but that's what you get for testing in production.4 -
Please disregard. I just need to vent.
Being a manager is so fucking shit. This is not even about devs or tech specific only. Never become a manager.
Why? Because it’s about handling people and all the dumb shit they do. It’s all about knowing what people suck at and preventing that weakness from leaking into other areas. The amount of fucked up people on this earth means that you have to work with at least some of them, and that means putting up with their stupid ass list of super special requirements, that if they do not fulfill, will make them a shit worker. It’s not even an issue of technical skills.
You have the guys that are often late, because “they have depression”, but will complain that “companies don’t treat employees like adults”. Being on time for work is apparently very difficult. Which doesn’t generally matter in general for dev work, but it ends up affecting other things.
You have the completely socially inept idiots that make half the team hate them and try to avoid working with them, increasing problems and work for other people. Just because they’re socially stupid, have low or no empathy, or are incapable of not being insufferable to others.
You have the people that are so bad at estimating that they keep making up numbers instead of waiting to think for a few minutes and say “ not sure, I need to research and estimate that”.
You have the surprise absentee for dumb as fuck reasons like “my phone died lol sorry”. They never do anything to actually improve, it is just “sorry guys! Btw I will do jackshit about this”.
Or the ones whining about virtually everything, all the time. Wtf why do I have to be on scrum at 12 tomorrow?! Wtf why do I have to record the result of that customer call? Wtf why should I talk with XYZ?
And if you leave them alone, everything burns. They actually need someone to tell them “hey mate you need to improve that, shall we plan something to do so?”. I think managers are useless and unneeded when you have adults working, but it seems like most of the population is composed of children. It’s basically another form of daycare.
And you have to prepare shit around all of these constraints.
Then you have the one guy that reads the requirements, has common sense, and is inoffensive and can work like a normal adult human that needs no baby sitting. A ray of light on this shitshow.
I just want to go back to pure dev.22 -
My situation: I got computer,router,phone,printer etc. all at one place
Now I decided to do some cable management...
I don't really know how to do cable management so I grabbed some duct tape ... This area now looks like this6 -
*During a walk around to check on the users*
Dev: *Watching worker laboriously dragging pallet jack with one wobbly wheel and another wheel practically seized*
Dev: Hey that looks broken, can’t you swap it out in the maintenance building?
Worker: If you do that management will give you one that’s worse.
Dev: …This fucking company
** Worker later threw out his back, company’s corrective action was to send out notice reminding employees to stretch before doing physical tasks19 -
Boss: "Sooo.... How long will it take?"
Me: "Maybe we should agree on some processes and specify your wishes for the new feature first?"
Boss: "Yeah you're right.... But what do you think? Will you get it done til $deadline?"
...
Why am I even trying? Who needs project management anyway?4 -
Why management has such orgasmic attachment to numbers?
Example 1.
Mngr: split this into tasks
Me: done
Mngr: now estimate these tasks
Me: can't. Team is new and codebase is unknown. Any estimations would be subjected to huge error and I will not commit to anything if I'm not at least partially sure.
Mngr: but we need some timeline
Me: so give it yourself. I'm not doing it
Example 2.
Mngr: we need to measure how your knowledge sharing sessions impacts our organisation
Me: how?
Mngr: e.g. amount of bugs lessen in next quarter
Me: bugs can go up and down because of hundred other reasons. Also, knowledge sharing is just to inspire people, it's up to them if they keep educating and growing. Me sharing knowledge 1h per week, I can't guarantee they will understand and apply this new knowledge.
Mngr: but we need to measure it somehow, otherwise it is useless.
Me: <speechless facepalm frustrated>22 -
A woman in hot air balloon realized she is lost...
She reduced altitude & shouted to a man below: Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend to meet him an hour ago but I don't know where I am.
Man below replied: You are in hot air balloon 30 feet above the ground. You are at 41 degree North latitude & 59 degree West longitude.
Lady: You must be an engineer.
Man: How do you know?
Lady: Everything you told me is technically correct but useless & the fact is I'm still lost.
Engineer: You must be in Top Management.
Lady: Ya. How do you know?
Engineer: You don't know where you are or where you're going, you have no technical knowledge.
You made a promise, which you've no idea how to keep & you expect people beneath you to solve your problems..!!
😀😀😀😀😀😀😀 -
Management: foobar resigned. We need to have a dev who can work the android app project.
Me: You have to find a dev who can work with that stack.
Management: You!
Me: Me?
Management: Yes, You.
Me: Me? Why me? I'm a web dev.
Management: Starting tomorrow you will work for 2 projects.
Me: but..
Management: accept it or..
Me: Okay. -_-
Management:
Me:7 -
I am the sole frontend developer in my project. I have only 6 months of professional coding experience. Just got a call from a person who used to lead me (she is still my lead, technically, but not very much involved in the dev process (management’s decision, not hers)).
She said that a concern has been raised that there have been large number of frontend issues which they (she didn’t specify, I am guessing management) haven’t seen before.
What do you think is the “large number”? Let me tell you. It’s 4.
2 of which are minor CSS issues that couldn’t have been anticipated while coding. They are runtime issues.
One of the 4 is a both frontend and backend issue.
And the last one is a fucking change request!
1 player, many responsibilities, slight issues, RAISE CONCERN - That’s management for you.
Fuck them, I guess.
On top of that, a concern I raised in front of the management regarding the management is not so much of a priority for them. I have a feeling that the concern they raised is just them being a jerk because I raised a concern in the first place.
Fuck them, again!
And again!5 -
I'm going to kill management.
After a serious migration fiasco at one of our biggest costumers the platform was finally usable again (after two days instead of 10 hours) and, of course, users started to report bugs. So good old po came in ranting that we as qa did a horrible job and basically tried to fault us for a fucked up update (because we produced user pain, which of course not being able to log in didn't do). Among the issues: If the user has more than a hundred web pages the menu starts looking ugly, the translation to dutch in one string on the third submenu of a widget doesn't work and a certain functionality isn't available even if it's activated.
Short, they were either not a use case or very much minor except for that missing function. So today we've looked through the entire test code, testing lists, change logs and so on only to discover that the function was removed actively during the last major update one and a half years ago.
Now it's just waiting for the review meeting with the wonderful talking point "How could effective QA prevent something like this in the future" and throwing that shit into his face.
I mean seriously, if you fuck shit up stand by it. We all make mistakes but trying to pin it on other people is just really, really low.8 -
My last job before going freelance. It started as great startup, but as time passed and the company grew, it all went down the drain and turned into a pretty crappy culture.
Once one of the local "darling" startups, it's now widely known in the local community for low salaries and crazy employee churn.
Management sells this great "startup culture", but reality is wildly different. Not sure if the management believes in what the are selling, or if they know they are selling BS.
- The recurring motto of "Work smarter, not harder" is the biggest BS of them all. Recurring pressure to work unpaid overtime. Not overt, because that's illegal, but you face judgement if you don't comply, and you'll eventually see consequences like lack of raises, or being passed for promotions in favour of less competent people that are willing to comply.
- Expectation management is worse than non-existent. Worse, because they actually feed expectations they have no intention of delivering on. (I.e, career progression, salary bumps and so on)
- Management is (rightfully) proud of hiring talented people, but then treat almost everyone like they're stupid.
- Feedback is consistently ignored.
- Senior people leave. Replace them with cheap juniors. Promote the few juniors that stay for more than 12 months to middle-management positions and wonder where things went wrong.
- People who rock the boat about the bad culture or the shitty stunts that management occasionally pulls get pushed out.
- Get everyone working overtime for a week to setup a venue for a large event, abroad, while you have everyone in bunk rooms at the cheapest hostel you could find and you don't even cover all meal expenses. No staff hired to setup the venue, so this includes heavy lifting of all sorts. Fly them on the cheapest fares, ensuring nobody gets a direct flight and has a good few hours of layover. Fly them on the weekend, to make sure nobody is "wasting time" travelling during work hours. Then call this a team building.
This is a tech recruitment company that makes a big fuss about how tech recruitment is broken and toxic...
Also a company that wants to use ML and AI to match candidates to jobs and build a sophisticated product, and wanted a stronger "Engineering culture" not so long ago. Meanwhile:
- Engineering is shoved into the back seat. Major company and product decisions made without input from anyone on the engineering side of things, including the product roadmaps.
- Product lead is an inexperienced kid with zero tech background -> Promote him to also manage the developers as part of the product team while getting rid of your tech lead.
- Dev team is essentially seen by management as an assembly line for features. Dev salaries are now well below market average, and they wonder why it's hard to recruit good devs. (Again, this is a tech recruitment company)1 -
I'm cry-laughing.
Management wanted us to deliver a completely new feature before the holidays (see my previous rant) and they were acting really sad when we told them it is impossible. It turns out they really want it to be done, and instead of realising it is not going to happen, they are coming up with brilliant new ideas on what we should do and how should we do it on a daily basis. It was just just a little nuisance until today, listening to them and reading their mails for half an hour a day is not a big deal.
So guess what? They changed the whole fucking specification today. I can't even...6 -
Devs: We fixed a bug, so watch out for some changes.
Management: The new values are too bad, you need to change it back.
Devs: But ... it was a bug?
Management: Rollback ... now!
I swear, the moment shareholders are involved, management is just about who has the best lie.1 -
Why management people thinks that a career path for any senior developer is to be a "leader" and be good in business side. Its like saying "hey you are a good programmer, let me take away that work you love to do and do stupid human resource management instead"5
-
Management: Create [totally idiotic and complicated feature, near to impossible to create]
Me: that's close to impossible and could probably destroy some other parts of the application.
Management: well, then your application is poorly programmed.
DAFUQ? HOW DARE TO JUDGE THE QUALITY OF MY CODE WITHOUT EVEN ABLE TO READ 2 LINES OF CSS? WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK IS THIS?
I'm really not easily offended but this sentence hit really hard.4 -
SLOC is the shittiest metric to exist.
If you're in software management, know that any of the numbers you've ever received (from me or anyone) for SLOC count are totally worthless.
"How many lines of code do you think you'll need to write to finish those features"?
"100000000000000"13 -
"adding that feature is not hard, the devs are just lazy"... or maybe... just maybe development is more complicated than you make it out to be when you vomit your middle management all over it?
-
I'm beginning to think that it's not important to know how to code anymore, but how good you are at handling management.5
-
Get into management is not a promotion but a career change.
But I saw a salary bump since I'm working as a software development manager.16 -
So now that Covid is apparently "gone", management wants us to come to the office to participate in daily team building events to hype up people to commute full time...
but still gotta finish those milestone deliveries while having too many meetings and deadlines.
Murphy is watching us from above with a shit-eating grin. -
I'm a backend (Java, Kotlin) developer and I mainly design & develop services and Android apps which consume these services.
My team in my current organization (I've been working here since past 2 years) just got merged with another team.
And now the new boss wants me to fix some fuck ups in their project which is written in C#, with some WCF and other stuff.
As this stuff is completely new for me, I asked for some time to get familiar with the environment. But the answer was a big NO.
As a result, "I've started looking out for a new job"
😡😠
Fuckin management screws up everything!4 -
Today we got a company announcement saying "Our time management tool got updated."
..still uses Flash Player.
For god's sake how is this even possible. Who did this?!2 -
When management says we don't want open source...because there is no support, and we can't afford Enterprise licence because it eats away the profit, and shit needs to be done in lightening fast way...FUCK!!!1
-
Worst: working a job where I wasn't learning anything and had shit management.
Best: got a new job where I'm learning lots and has great management.5 -
seagull management
| ˈsēˌɡəl manijmənt | noun
When managers are totally uninvolved in the work, but they just swoop down once in a while to shit all over everything. “This is wrong, and this, and this looks bad,” etc., before flying away again.2 -
Getting serious about CISSP as I try getting into security and management.
Any tips for studying this? Anything to keep in mind when I get into leadership and need to not piss off the people smarter than I am?8 -
me 2 weeks ago: "can we talk about the release?"
pm: *proceeds to circlejerk about story points for an hour every day*
pm today: "why is our release late?"
dear management, go fuck yourselves. seriously, go fuck yourselves7 -
Recently purchased a few edge AI devices at work, and management sent some people to box up and get rid of our dedicated GPUs, since we "just got new AI computers." Now futilely trying to explain to management that not all computers are exactly the same...3
-
Just right now:
Management: How's the feature going?
Me: The backend is done. Here's how the front end looks so far...
Management: What?! No! Where will they input the units? What about the input#2? and the graphs?! You were just not going to put that?
Me: ... this is how it's lookin so far. The deadline isn't until next week. I'm actually pretty ahead of schedule.
Management: But what about button #2 and #3? And input #4?
Me: Yes, it's all planned. It's not done yet. You asked me how I'm doing so far. Of course I haven't finished.6 -
Our company is cheap, cheap as fuck. We have to use some third-party platforms and every year they choose something that is slightly cheaper than the other. (like a few $ per annual), they do not know that we have to refactor our code at the backend because the changes of the platform.
It doesn't end there, they even look for devs from third world countries to work for them remotely instead of hiring permanent staff (I understand it is cheaper because of currency difference and etc), but what about the training period or to let them become comfortable with the existing system, even when he/she is a genius... it takes time to be productive at work.
The worst part is they dont give a shit, they think devs can be replaced easily just like some construction workers carrying stuffs on site (no offence to them), management treating people like shit and doesn't care when they leave.2 -
If you’re writing in Python and you find yourself in dependency management hell and you don’t know about pipenv, consider this a friendly PSA:
pipenv is your friend.4 -
Many years ago I was told by a senior dev that caching is one of the hardest things I'll ever come across. At the time I didn't know what he meant, but these past few days I'm starting to understand what he meant. It's not using the cache itself, it's the cache management that is hard. Determining what needs to be cached, when a cache should be invalidated, how long should something be cached etc. It's pretty insane when you start having to compare it with the requirements.1
-
Time management tips one must follow to be successful:-
1. Remove distractions:- Phone, Whatsapp, Instagram, FB, etc. All away from you during work.
2. Remove clutters: Get rid of not required things.
3. Eliminate redundancy
4. Emulate others: (My favourite) If someone has spend time and done some work. Do not reinvent the same work done just replicate that work and continue from that point.
5. Share burden: Team work and depending on others is not bad.
6. Make work fun: Most important if you enjoy your work you will give your best.5 -
When you estimate development time for a feature and management asks: "But aren't there widgets or sth that you can... [you raise an eyebrow] like... drag and drop or something...?"3
-
Telling my mom how to do computer stuff is like programming, I need to outline every fucking step. Yes this includes file management.1
-
*goes to management*
Me: So do you want the button to be up here or down here?
Management: OMG you finished?! So early?!
Me: Eh no, I just modified the HTML in the browser...
Management: But I can see the button right there!
Me: ...
Management: Well, leave it where it was.
It never was. And it is currently in two places.2 -
"If we need to deprioritize something that's fine, as long as it all still gets done by the time we agreed on."
Gotta love product management types.4 -
I recently started working on a 3 months old project, that was outsourced to two Indians genius. One of them left just before I arrived.
I had the chance to discover those guys were not using any version control system, just exchanging a zip file. I don’t even talk about the codebase, never seen such a mess …
Even better the project managers, were not using any IT program to follow the project advancement, but just Excel!!!
After a few days I realised that the remaining dev was not committing anything, the guy was always lying, (so many people died around him + some emergencies)
So, the guy got fired, but don’t worry management found new genius to save the project 🙂
Can someone tell me if outsourcing is really working?7 -
That the most important thing in any project is to first make sure YOU have understood what the customer/management wants and that THEY have understood what you are going to do.
Seen so many projects (other people's and my own) go down the drain because people had false expectations.
Also, good management is enormously important for any medium-sized endeavour. I cannot count how often I have seen mediocre to bad middle management screw things up, and devs pull off overnighters and 60+hours work weeks for this super-important project that then goes to the bin because "it turned out to be not so important in the end, sorry."1 -
Me: *working on a project for a year solo*
Management: Let's move development to consultants
Me: I don't think we'll profit from that
Management: Yes let's do it anyways
Me: *switching between project management and working on another project for 6 weeks*
EMERGENCY MEETING
Management: We're not getting enough output
Me: What did I say?
I'm so fucking tired of this project fuckery. Cred to my boss, she's great, but this time they should've just listened to me.2 -
Took my PC to a good repair shop because there was an issue with the motherboard. They complete ruined my cable management while installing the new motherboard I have a glass side panel. Fml.6
-
This happened a couple months ago, but I wanted to share this one, since it still baffles me.
We were hiring and had this weird candidate. The team said no to the guy after the interview, management still hired him and pressured us to train him, which cost us tons of hours we had to somehow squeeze in during a hot phase of our project.
After almost 3.5 weeks training he had to hand in a small component. What he handed in was brainlessly duplicated, half of the stuff in there wasn't even used, the other half wasn't working properly. At the review we asked questions about the code he handed in - he could not answer one of them.
We then had a big argument with management to let the guy go, which they eventually unhappily agreed to.
The icing on that cake of a story: Turns out, the guy was hired as a senior dev with a way higher paycheck than most of the devs on the team. Wtf?!9 -
Just started my first "management" role after 12 years as a developer, first thing I learnt is its just like my last role only I don't have to do any of the hard work.
Worried they'll figure out I'm doing almost nothing soon, any tips? Should I just start scheduling meetings to discuss meetings?4 -
Management has been promising we'd leave .NET framework for 2 years now. Never fucking happens. A new ASP.NET project was just started last week and yup, OF COURSE, its .NET Framework 4.8.
I'd even be happy with one of the earlier .NET Core versions at this point for fucks sake. I have no clue why tech leads are so happy to create a brand new project on a deprecated framework version.
And yes, I have checked thoroughly. Our whole infrastructure works with .NET Core onward. People are just too lazy to learn new stuff.
Stuff like switching to .NET 6, actually doing unit testing, improving our CI/CD pipeline, refactoring problematic codebases, etc. -> all this stuff is the kind of things they promise me I can work on later whenever I'm so bogged down with work that I'm looking for a light at the end of the tunnel. All empty promises.
Ideally we should be on .NET 6 since its LTS and just stay on the LTS versions as the year goes on.8 -
-Management puts unrealistic deadline as usual-
_Tries his best but fails to deliver on time_
*Puts a clearly visible bug in code*
~Tester finds it and creates a issue~
*Solves the issue, wraps up the remaining things and closes the issue*
**Wakes up from dream, cuz he is the tester as well** -
Management: ReactNative is great because it is faster!
Me: What else do we get from it?
Management: Facebook made it so it is good!
Me: 😑3 -
Management: Our internal app must be 100% rigid so that we users follow predefined process flows exactly so no mistakes are made while also being 100% flexible so that users are free to go about their business in whatever way they feel is appropriate for their own unique needs. These are the requirements!
Dev: …7 -
Picture a small product team, the dev side of it has 1 tech lead, 1 recently promoted senior dev, 1 junior dev.
1 - Offer your tech lead a severance package
2 - Hire a mid-level and a junior dev
3 - Give the product lead role to someone in their mid-20s that has no tech or project management background
4 - ???
The next 6 months are going to be interesting ones...3 -
I'm starting a new job in a month!
I'm simultaneously excited and anxious about it.
Excited because I get to work on some new cool projects, use new tech, get great pay and benefits, and it really seems like a great place for me.
Anxious because I am currently on sick leave with stress, because my current job wore me down. Not so much the tasks themselves, but the atmosphere and attitude of management. So I have to hope that I can manage to get enough rest in the coming month that I am well enough to perform well at my new job.4 -
We are forced to work on weekends because the management and the project manager loves to kiss the ass of our clients. I was even scolded by working from home.
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK.
ITS NOT FUCKING FAIR THAT WE HAVE TO SUFFER AND SHOULDER THEIR INCOMPETENCE IN MANAGING THIS FUCKING PROJECT.
Damnit. God Damnit.5 -
Why the fuck management keep outsourcing entire platforms for in-house use if we have a fucking dev team...
Those platforms are constantly having contract issues and one we recently rewrote from scratch and is waaay better than the one they fucking paid another company to do....3 -
Yesterday all management was sick or away on vacation or training.
All work continued as normal. Everyone is an adult and knows what to do.
Made me question if we actually need to have soooo many people in management positions.
Funny to think that they get paid more.
Ironically when a developer is sick, real money is lost and progress stops in a particular area.
🤔1 -
!rant
how long do you guys code per day?
being a student i have now extreme difficulties in time management😐
need some advice...9 -
Why do I have to "grow" into a managerial role? I like doing what I am doing and would like to do it more. Anyone with some serious advice on how to stay relevant in software development with greying hair and without growing into people management?4
-
My university provides advanced education courses and you'll get certified if you pass them. I'm really interested but I don't have so much time, so which one should I pick?
List of courses I'm interested in:
SQL
IT-Security
Project Management
PHP
I'm curious about your suggestions ;)9 -
when the project is "almost done" when you join in, but you discover that nothing is working properly and there's placeholder text in the whole database.
-
Making calls, meetings, and "brainstorming" half-baked features or designs or any other slop bullshit for 12 hours a day?
Wow, you are an impressive "startup bro"!!!
Coding, testing, running emulators, tests, reading technical documentation, ensuring product success in the real world, and implementing efficient full stack software for 12 hours a day?
Fuck you!!!
These are the expectations of management. Just remember, what they do is "extremely difficult", but you are simply just a resource queue that takes input and converts it to real-world implementation.
Give me a fucking break -
Today at 'Derp & Co' is the end of the last sprint, no one have close all the task asigned. Myself included.
- that sucks...
Because there are task from previos sprints still in TODO that block other tasks.
- oof
But there is more... Yesterday was the deadline of the project. From today and onwards the client get discount.
- oof (but fair to the client)
Management have in mind AT LEAST 4 more weeks of development.
- But... how... wtf?
In 2 weeks part of the hardware we need for the project will return to the client.
- <smash the door and leave>
Management still is asking if we can do it on time...
- yeah... just call the Doctor, we need a TARDIS ASAP2 -
I think IT is one the few professions where if someone can’t make it in the lower ranks, they’re quickly considered for management.4
-
I just finished designing an entire asset management pipeline and christ on a fucking pogo stick, if it isn't convoluted.
Theres a lot of game engines out there, but all of them do it a little different. They all tackle a slightly different problem, without even realizing it.
1. asset management
2. asset change management
3. behavior change management
4. data management
5. combinatorial design management.
6. Combinatorial Behavior management
7. Feature completion
ASSET MANAGEMENT is exactly what it says on the tin.
ASSET CHANGE management can be thought of handling the import, export, formatting, platform specific packing, and versioning (including forking) of an asset.
BEHAVIORAL CHANGE management is a subset of asset management, because code is a subset of assets (depending on how you define 'assets'). The oldest known example of this is commenting and uncommenting code.
Or worse, printf debugging.
This can be file versioning, basic undo services, graph management of forks and mergers, toggles for features or modules, etc.
DATA management is about anything that doesn't fall into the other categories, everything from mission text to npc dialogues, quests, location names, item stats, the works. Anything you'd be tempted to put in a database, falls under this category. Haven't yet seen many engines offer this as an explicit built in tool as of yet, because the other problems are non-trivial as is, so this is a bit of low hanging fruit that gets handled by external tools, or loaded from formats as simple as json.
COMBINATORIAL DESIGN management is the idea of prefabbing, blueprints of broader object design using nested prototypes of existing game objects, to create more complex, reusable set pieces. Unity did this well. GM does this in part.
COMBINATORIAL BEHAVIOR management is entity-component systems, plus tooling to make it easy to add, remove, and configure components and their values on entity blueprints, also not uncommon. Both stencyl and unity do this. GM has a precursor to this in the form of configurable fields, but these fields are not based on component scripts attached to objects.
FEATURE COMPLETION is that set of gameplay mechanics or styles of design that an engine naturally makes easier to include or build in a game.
I don't think I'm aiming for all that, but I think at minimum a good engine has to do asset management, behavioral change management, prefabs, and entity-component systems with management tools for that. And ideally, asset change management.8 -
Why oh why do companies scrimp on hardware and tools for devs. It's a constant battle to even use my machine let alone make progress. I cost 1k a day a decent machine 2k maximum. I have spent the last two days fighting hardware issues.1
-
Today I had sort of a meltdown when I found out that the small, 20-something company where I work and where we should all 'trust each other' is working to stealthily enable SSL Inspection.
I'm done with doing anything other than what is stipulated in my contract such as helping out in other areas out of my own volition.
Management got control hungry and mad once they got their hands on a Deep Inspection Firewall.
Well, I'm not feeling sorry for the uproar they'll have to endure once colleagues find out they are doing this stealthily.
Serves them right and after this and other similar experiences my trust in this company is right through the floor.2 -
So I am working on a cloud app, Angular on the frontend and NestJS with heavy AWS dependency at the backend. I took my time to learn the stack and I have a couple of years of experience with each piece involved.
Since I am a Level 1 developer, management thought (and I felt same way) it would be nice for me to work with a couple of Level 3 devs.
Well, they hired Level 3 devs:
- a senior Java developer who never touched AWS, any kind of frontend or Typescript
- a senior c++ dev with the same “never touched” as above
And guess what? I have to train them both in Angular, Typescript etc. Kinda defeats the whole purpose of L3, “they will help you to deliver stuff fast”, and adds load on me (I am already a shared resource on 3 teams).
Oh, and yeah, management already promised to release the app by the end of the year and so far I am the only capable and functional developer on the team who has to deliver everything.
I had so much hope for new hiring cycle lol10 -
- have a look at the project
- brake it down into smaller stories
- estimate the time
- multipy it with 1.5
- add 1-3 days of testing
- add 15% project management
- add a 2 days buffer
= be happy with being done in 2 weeks, present it in 4 -
When you have to build a startup product using enterprise project management methodologies, and corporate practices.
R.I.P Agile -
Oh god... technical decisions should be taken by people who actually know what they are doing and even so still counter-checked and not followed blindly.
I am currently working in a company that wasted millions by trying to implement micro-services where they don't belong and didn't step back when they realize it was a mistake
(protip: micro-services usually don't belong in most places).
Now we're dealing with the sunken costs fallacy and I am seriously believing that the company is going bust in a few months. Let's wait and see. -
Who the hell invented this industry where smartest individuals are being evaluated by those who didn't understood technology well enough and moved to management (it's usual scenario, though there are exceptions)?
Can you imagine surgeon performance/quality being evaluated by some clerk who may or may not had studied medicine earlier, but wasn't good enough to become surgeon itself so ended up in hospital administration.
Or can you imagine bridge engineer having his/her performance/quality evaluated by someone who had built bicycle shed 5 years ago?
Damn, yet in software industry it's pretty normal.
(Don't confuse management with performance evaluation. I know management have different scope and duties, but idea that management does the performance evaluation is so damn broken.)6 -
PTSD flashbacks of the 🤡s wanting us to change every subscription price less than 24 hours before a major release that would be the live version after we aired on national television...
management at its best folks. remember, your time doesn't matter, only theirs, it's way more "important"
🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡3 -
Literally anything breaks
Management: Devs should have tested it
Devs: What the fuck are testers for?11 -
After a management meeting about the companies first e-commerce initiative which I proposed and protocol-typed with assistance from internal and 3rd party resources, I returned with my boss to her office feeling on cloud nine as everything had been accepted / approved and the project was green lit!!!
She turns to me and says “I’m going down to the local sex shop and buying the largest dildo, strap it on, and then they will listen to me too”... I just sat, staring at the floor ...
Queue the crickets...4 -
So this Just happened, we were in a Meeting when Manager Tells us about "Time Management" and asked us Whatsapp we could Code for him,
I suggested that we use those Chips to track us and the employees, because we always use them to unlock Doors and Stuff,
Another Suggestion from another Person was:
To use Paper...
I was Like "WTF dude Pen and Paper? Didn't you listen?"
We now use Pen and Paper to weite our working Times Down...1 -
My boss just upgraded our customer support level with a company we depend on, but I'm not allowed to use any of our 40 allotted phone support hours for "code questions" because "we might need them for something later on".1
-
TL;DR: When picking vendors to outsource work to, vet them really well.
Backstory:
Got a large redesign project that involves rebuilding a website's main navigation (accessibility reasons).
Project is too big just for our dev team to handle with our workload so we got to bring a 3rd party vendor to help us. We do this often so no big deal.
But, this time the twist was Senior Management already had retained hours with a dev shop so they want us to use them for project. Okay...
It begins:
Have our scope / discovery meeting about the changes and our expected DevOps workflow.
Devs work Local and push changes to our Github, that kicks off the build and we test on Dev, then it goes to Staging for more testing & PM review. Once ready we can push to prod, or whenever needed. All is agreed, everyone was happy.
Emailed the vendors' project manager to ask for their devs Github accounts so we can add them to the project. Got no reply for 3 days.
4th day, I get back "Who sets up the Github accounts?"
fuck me. they've never used Github before but in our scope meeting 4 days ago you said Github was fine...??
Whatever, fuck it. I'll make the accounts and add them.
Added 4 devs to the repo and setup new branch. 40min later get an email that they can't setup dev environment now, the dev doesn't know how to setup our CMS locally, "not working for some reason."
So, they ask for permission to develop on our STAGING server.. "because it's already setup"... they want to actively dev on our staging where we get PM/Senior Management approvals?
We have dev, staging, production instances and you want to dev in staging, not dev?... nay nay good sir.
This is whom senior management wants us to use, already paid for via retainer no less. They are a major dev shop and they're useless...
😢😭
Cant wait for today's progress checkup meeting. 😐😐
/rant1 -
Around three months ago in a meeting regarding a new end2end test for a product :
PO: We have a full feature stop, only bug fixes are coming until we can unify all products.
Me : So I can use any selectors without worrying the whole thing breaks with the next update?
PO: Sure.
Last Thursday :
PO: Yeah, we gonna overhaul the entire UI with the next release to get better UX.
Why would any sane person reinvent an entire product thats already scheduled for discontinuation in 2018? And how is it possible that a few months ago nobody knew anything about it? Are they using fucking tatot cards for management decisions?1 -
This week is unproductive as fuck.
I work as python developer and write bots to solve captchas.
But due to lack of resources I have been moved (working on both) my assigned python tasks and node project.
Guess what, I have been updating html templates for emails for this node project.
I wish to find cactus for the management.7 -
I know that you two guys don't get together well. Shall we(the management team) send you guys for some team bonding training sessions? Whatttt?? 🙄🙄🙄4
-
I think I have little bit problem with tab management.
Please note tiny grey dots above some tabs on left side, those are tab groups...3 -
Management in big corp I collaborate with has decided they want intermediate releases every 4 weeks. That's kinda OK, we work in two week Scrum sprints.
However, not this sprint. Because of Easter it's three weeks. And because the 4 weeks rule is absolute, the one after that is only one week. Which implies we do the whole review-presentation-planning ceremony twice in a row. That's fucking absurd. But when management agrees on a plan, it's reality that needs to comply, right? Argh.2 -
We kinda feel the feature you lead was messy because even though you brought up valid use cases and we decided to postpone the development of those till the next release, the user wanted them and we pressured you to get it done in a couple of days…which lead to a slightly buggy less than perfect release…so yeah, even tho you saved our asses for secretly starting development of those extra use cases beforehand we won’t showcase it as a successful release.
- Management1 -
My companies org is in a serious state of disrepair when it comes to project management.
Everything is tracked via conference. Each level of management (CTO, EVP, SVP, BP, S DIRECTOR, DIRECTOR, S MANAGER, MANAGER) all have a different tracking page that all say slightly different things.
To organize things there's a technical project manager who isn't just new to the team, he's new to the field. He's not technical, or experienced in project management. He's never worked within a scrum before.
He's dictating how to organize the teams scrum, and he's getting it very wrong. Decided to organize efforts in all the confluence pages by creating another one for him, again it's different.
When the work in confluence page 3/16 isn't done by a due date anybody knew about, the engineers have to hop on a call and get a Micky mouse solution out the door by the of day so upper management doesn't think the projects off the rails.
In the mean time I've taken a small group of more junior devs and shielding them. We have a side scrum that we manage and is going great, and I'm blocking the BS.
CORPORATE SUCKS. Golden handcuffs are a thing. I might set sail for greener pastures once i don't have to pay back my signing bonus if I leave.7 -
I have a saying that always gets me confused looks at work: “More is more”. What I mean by that is every time management asks for a new system, that system needs to be built, maintained, upgraded (code and infrastructure), etc. My point is that new systems are not free of cost after delivery. Am I alone in thinking that way?4
-
Do you have this culture at the office where your employer (management) try to shame you if you leave at the normal hour? How do you deal with it?
If you work in France I would like to know what's your work schedule, because I'm in a startup and everyone stay there until 18pm.13 -
Nothing destroys work flow like management idiots deciding on features and design that they just pulled out of their asses.6
-
Is it highly likely that, those at high position of management are more greedy of money and posses less ethics and values, than those who actually build the company ie engineers ?
I had seen, it's always the top management who get away from mistakes/ issues but generally it's those who develop the company at core i.e. engineers again, are sidelined or considered responsible for the mistake, when management don't know a shit about anything, or sometimes engineers just follow what management says and management fucks their asses wide even if the management did something wrong.
Who do you think actually build companies/product. Engineers or management or marketers/sales people, who eats fat cheques ??
I remember from silicon valley, when hooli reverse engineered Richards idea and developed their own prototype named Nucleus. Pushed their engineers to beat pipe Piper and when their product turns out to be awfully terrible and extremely fucked like a burned dick with broken balls, they just fired their entire nucleus division5 -
What to do when you think a junior is working hard, you're generally happy with quality, but speed is way below where it needs to be?14
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Dev: Sends weekly update email on Friday, as drudgingly required by management, outlining that stress level is high recently in the past two weeks and constant polling for feedback and updates is stressing him out, needs to slow down the pace
Management: (ON A FUCKING SATURDAY): "Received your email @fullStackChris"
WOW! THANKS FOR THAT INSIGHTFUL UPDATE! I BET YOU DID! I HAVE NO DOUBT GOOGLE'S SMTP SERVERS ARE RUNNING PROPERLY. AND AFTER READING IT, YOU HAVE THE AUDACITY TO @ ME IN A WHATSAPP MESSAGE. ON A FUCKING SATURDAY. I DON'T WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU, I DON'T WANT TO THINK ABOUT THE COMPANY OR ITS TASKS UNTIL MONDAY. PLEASE STOP.
I mean they must be fucking with me at this point, right guys? Maybe I should start writing stuff like "I need more tasks and more messages throughout the day" then I would probably receive less, I mean wtf is actually going on.7 -
Why everyone in management wants to know how i solve the bug if you do not even know what is Bootstrap. All that matter is fucking bug is resolved PERIOD
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When as JavaScript developer you need to do Java Android. And not the simple kind of tasks... I have 0 knowledge on the whole Android platform.. FML5
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I was going to write a rant but it would exceed the limit, soooo Christ today has been awful. The absolute disrespect I’ve been shown by management today is absolutely shocking.4
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When's the last time your imminent manager actually provided useful guidance? It's been almost 20 years for me.2
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Out top management has made the decision that our managers must have billable work as well on projects. I feel like winter is coming.4
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When you and your team invested a lot of their weekend time into the project to meet the clients unrealistic deadline and get not even a simple "thank you" from management...3
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Project management 101:
1) For a new project, pretend it is similar to a project in currently in development
2) Proudly state that everything can be copied from the older project, so the schedule of the new can be tightened
3) Calculate the new schedule based on the "just copy and paste" effort.
4) Now the new project will be finished before the older project
5) Enjoy the applause from upper management for the successful project that hasn't even begun yet.
No, this does not belong in the joke category.
That's gonna be fun...1 -
My university has "Economics and Technic" on its name and it straight up fails on the technical side.
We don't have proper wifi because nobody from the management wants to be responsible for whatever the fuck students do, so they borrow the public (not secure/shitty) wifi from the state for us. Great. We could also use Eduroam, except it only works OUTSIDE of the university for some fujing reason.
Also, our classrooms don't have plugs to charge our notebooks so that's not an option, I guess they just think: "well if they can't use their notebooks they might as well not use any internet at all".
With the heatwave in Europe the servers almost fried bcs management was not sure if they should turn it off or not. We got no server a day.
To top it off, for some reason, every time I access the Intranet from the university it won't login and it literally blocks my dns requests. FANTASTICAL. I even tried restoring my computer and it does the same shit, so I just gave up on it entirely.
TL;DR: My university has shitty IT-Infrastructure and I need to rant about it.
Thank you for sharing ze pain™6 -
I got assigned to work on a new project a couple of weeks ago. We got the POC code handed off from senior management, since he came up with the idea over the weekend. The project concept is hella exciting, but the dev manager and PO I have to deal with make life unbearable to say the least.
We have only 2 devs (including me) and 1 QA on this supposedly very important project. Of course, management announced the project to the clients already, so now we have to deliver ASAP cause it adds “sizzle”.
The MVP deadline is... no one knows when, either July 30th or September 1st. The MVP requirements are... unknown. I swear if someone saw the list of tasks and issues attached to “MVP” Epic, they would call us nuts trying to fit it all in.
To make things better, each PR requires 2 reviewers, so we end up adding manager as a reviewer just cause we need him to hit that “approve” button. So in attempt to make life easier, we requested to have a third developer. We are getting another developer, but that guy doesn’t know how to unit test a pure function...
Current priorities are... unit testing with coverage of 95% and if we want to refactor code, we have to add area to the list in a Google Doc. As a result, we are not tackling big things like risk of SQL injections not to mention big features like i18n (5-6 languages to support by the way and yes, it’s part of MVP as well as SSR no one knows why). Currently, I spend 2-3 hours a week in calls with the team just to figure out what the hell MVP is, what we have to do and why we have to do it. Last time we spent an hour refining 1 spike and breaking down one story into 3.
Oh, we also don’t have a deployment plan, not even to test environments since DevOps team was not aware of this project at all. Thus, QA cannot create any test suites and have to test everything manually which eats a lot of their time.
This whole project is a big hot mess and I’m considering leaving it all together especially since I’m working on two squads at the same time. I love the project, I love the idea, but management makes it unbearable, so I’m not even motivated to work on that.3 -
So I was rejected by the management today for promotion to Senior 2 although I have done several major feature developments + infra design and basically end to end ownership.
Reason for no promotion? That's the best fucking part, according to the feedback, the work I performed on the service I created is well-designed,
and the code quality is commendable. However, they pointed out a notable difference in code quality between the micro-service
I built and the rest of the project developed by others. This, apparently, suggests that I lack a strong sense of ownership over the broader product.
First of all, we have super tight deadlines (almost 996), and I burned midnight oil to make sure the service I am in-charge of is designed really well.
Also, how in the flying fuck the other how the inability of others to maintain good code quality elsewhere in the product is being used as evidence against my sense of ownership
and initiative in ensuring high engineering quality for the repository I wasn't even working on
What a delusional management, the entire feedback feels like just an excuse to fuck off, we are not promoting you...
May be instead of doing actual engineering work, I should have just do minimal work and write more design docs / technical artifacts
It is very demoralizing after I worked hard for so many months, product went out really well.. yet when performance review comes, rejected with a petty reason7 -
Session Management in HTML/PHP be Like:
JUST PUT THAT FUCKING SESSION ID AS HIDDEN INPUT IN EVERY FUCKING FORM!!!
BECAUSE WHY NOT JUST SPAM IT WHY IS THERE NO GOOD FUCKING WAY TO HIDE A SESSION KEY WITHOUT COOKIES5 -
I'm sure I speak for a lot of us when I say: LET ME HAVE A LIFE!!!
Management treating us like candy machines, wanting more and more features, learn this, learn that, learn complex material. HEY I'D LIKE TO ENJOY MY TIME AFTER WORK YA KNOW.
etc.4 -
*Be project manager/most senior developer*
*Higher up tells you there is only enough money to hire recent graduates/internees, the cream of the pie, and that I can't hire fewer developers with more experience*
*Code is shit as result*
*Feels anger towards the developer that did it*
*Feels sorry because that developer is actually trying really hard and is diligent even if he is inexperienced*
*Change anger object to higher management*
*Repeat* -
Meeting 1:
Devs: so we have founds 3 ways of displaying this info. Which one do you think is the most intuitive / more pretty / more useful?
Management: idk, just let the option choose between these 3
Meeting 2:
Management: the users are getting confused with so many options. Fix it.
😑2 -
Currently we have zero time for R&D at work, now I have convinced management to let me try and convince them to arrange some time per week/sprint(2 weeks) or month
How should I approache this? And how much time would be optional (enough time for prototyping but still leave more than enough time for the projects we have) ?
Any tips that you have for negotiation/convincing management would be greatly appreciated!! 😁😁3 -
The monotony of begging management for budget to retrofit unit tests which should have been there in the first place is starting to piss me off.
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I've been working as a developer for 10 years now... I got my first software development job when I was still learning for my masters.
After all this time I have switched programming languages and product types a few times from web development to mobile apps to desktop software (C++, CEF, QT,).
And I have come to the conclusion that I want early retirement... like right now retirement... I'm done dealing with management that doesn't understand shit... dealing with people we have outsourced part of the shit to... needing to fix stuff that is broken after some other person refactored the code and didn't fully test it and it somehow got approved... dealing with people that think that "know better" and implemented things like that 5 years ago because they thought like "THAT" and will not accept my merge request because of that.
Like don't get me wrong I love to make and develop software, but since this is the 3rd job in the row with a toxic environment like this I feel like I need to move to the country side and open up a farm or something :|2 -
Why do people who love programming/developing move to a management role other than for salary reasons? Is it just a feeling that you get at a point in your career?11
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What I've learned from working on side projects is that distraction is caused by poor time management and planning skills. Why is this realization so important? Because it applies to every area of your life. Just think about it.
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So we're doing this contract work for this other company and the project is just an overcomplicated piece of garbage where they shoved every buzzword technology into it just because. I managed to get the code just about organized and functional on our side of the contract and it was looking up when suddenly the management decides "we had a rough start, lets start over, learning from our mistakes"
So I was thinking "cool, there were a lot of problems with this overcomplicated pre-optimized stack, surely we can only do better".. oh boy how naive I was. See Im not the guy in charge of the infrastructure (unfortunately) and really the project structure across this huge multi service project is a free-for-all kind of management.. so we had a call on friday where they explained how the new structure should be built... 3 new technologies, more micro services and even worse dependency tree later I was contemplating suicide on the spot.
I tried to make this shit usable and efficient and all my fucking work went down the drain in a single day of these fuckers throwing more buzzwords at the problem... I can't even get a new empty project started without browsing our huge 100+ repo project git for which dependency Im still missing to even run it...
I fucking hate this retarded piece of crap project and I hope every "manager" and "developer" with an exception of very few chokes on a cock...2 -
A few months back I was talking with our web team and we determined a ticketing software would be useful for clients to submit website updates. Rather than request we buy one, because we constantly get told to stop spending, I spent my free time building it out. We tested it and decided it was ready to present to management.
Management tells us that clients aren't going to use something like this (4 fields and optional file upload). The project sits in a repo untouched for some months.
<Time passes>
Company-wide email come in announcing our brand new ticket system for clients to submit issues about our software. Then a second email comes in to me asking why the web team never thought to do something like that and went on about how useful it would be if we had something similar. I link them to the one I built and my notes from our previous meeting.
Manager who told me clients would never use this: Let's talk about this next week and see if we can get people to use it.
It's been 3 weeks and the meeting has been rescheduled 5 times.1 -
Actual question: Tell me which project management software you use and what you hate about it. What do you like about it, if anything?15
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Today I learnt by hard, that even best management don't want to hear how bad things are.
You're supposed to shut up, and make things shine.
You can't fix few years of sh*t in 3 months? You can't work with people who don't understand basics? You can't fake results to show to the management?
Too bad...13 -
I am now sorry for managers. Management is a miserable, horrible job where you have to deal with unending amounts of bullshit from all sides, and run a kindergarten where every other employee will give you their super special list of things that they don't like, or triggers them. No wonder all managers are terrible, who would ever want to do this shit job?
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Cause there's no really safe solution for that right now, finally release my favorite and verifiable secure linux password management tool for the web and as apps for iOS, Android and Windows Phone - including online synchronization, so you can access your passwords anywhere. (Web and Android first, the other platforms later).
At the moment it is still a pure gpg based Linux terminal application.2 -
How accurate is this guys ? I came across this reading comments on youtube. The moral of Star Wars rogue one ^^ and project management at its finest...3
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Ford vs Ferrari shows everything wrong with upper management. They are a bunch egoistic pricks in suits who have nothing better to do than play office politics and take credit for the hard work of people under them.
One of the best movie I have ever seen. Made me wanna smell some oil and grease. -
Here we go, the winter is happening #BecauseItsAlreadyComing
The Fcuking Stereotype of MDFK Projects Deadline was not achieve, everybody starts throwing blame words, the management had their heads burned, aaannd... This is nearly 11pm I'm enjoying my chicken Satay and I don't give a fcuking damn with this situation. #MyCodeMyAdventure
lets have a junkie dinner my fellow devRanters! 😂3 -
I do everything to have great time management except starting early.
Basically I manage minimizing how late I am extremely well. -
Now I have to make updates in three different tools about the projects I’m working on, this is stupid since we work for a tech company and we shouldn’t be using fucking Power Point to update statuses on projects. Management should be making other’s life easier not harder. 🥸1
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Time management. Maybe it's not really dev related, but I think it's very important. Trying to get better every day.1
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What progress have you made?
Well today we hand crafted ... a new lie about the apps we are writing. Customers should eat this one up.
Good, good.
- Management -
Why didn't a single manager I had worked with bother theirselves with reading "Peopleware" book. Decent managers cannot themselves afford to not read that book.3
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Trying to decide between two places, one was full of cliquey staff who would talk to someone they didn't like through someone else in a child-like "Tell X I'm not talking to them" despite X being next to you, and management who wouldn't always pay you on time or the right amount.
The other was also run very poorly, management looked down on staff who wouldn't work for free after their shift finished, they'd also throw you under the bus for clients and wouldn't take staff speaking up. I once went to my direct manager noting that I was burning out as the only member in a department when every other was staffed by multiple groups of multiple staff. Told them that I needed someone else with me, next thing you know I'm out on my ear and replaced by a young lad just starting his apprenticeship. -
Starting the day with Management complaining about budget and how R&D spends a lot. I start talking about the form to get a machine to a developer, that requires detailed information about the specs, proper justification, provide price comparison, fields of text which I know their departments will not check or fully comprehend BUT administration type departments always get the latest MacBook when their work literally involves little more than read emails, PDFs, write word documents and not high demanding software tools. R&D colleague suggests that a Raspberry pi would suffice for what administration personal needs out of a PC.
Management didn't comment.1 -
Slowly I am strongly considering changing the company. Somehow our management is losing its focus on reality. On the one hand, the management doesn't care one bit about what problems we have, especially when we have issues with other teams, which makes it impossible to finish our (necessary) features. But when the management wants something, everything has to be completed immediately and preferably yesterday.
We work in our team (and in almost the entire development) according to Scrum, so we are organized in sprints. However, our CTO thinks that none of this matters and that the whole planning has to be thrown out just because he wants a small (absolutely stupid) feature.
And then, our supervisor thinks he has to force us to do things that are entirely irrelevant for the team. We wouldn't have any advantage and would just be the henchmen of others.
And then there's a neighboring team that refuses to make any progress and keeps blocking everything. But somehow it's management's favorite team and can simply (unofficially) decide about other teams.
Honestly, I'm pretty pissed off now, and I'm not in the mood for that crap anymore.4 -
I made a point to the management that people are unnecessarily reworking things and throwing away. And all products should have a product owner and they should give requirements. So the management called the same guy(who fucking does pointless rewrites in the name of code cleanup) and said come up with a solution. The guy came with a solution of Agile + Jira and a whole fucking process behind it. So guess what, we are having pointless meetings when we can just finish and ship deliverables.
The management successfully founded an efficient way to effectively waste time. Kuddos.3 -
How do you tell people in your team their code is poorly written?
I am not an amazing developer, I lack experience of real world and don't have many finished products under my belt.
But I feel/think my code is well separated into separate classes, follows DRY well and is generally considered as following good practises.
However, the main Dev in this new small team which has been put together and I have been appointed to manage sees things differently.
He writes good functional code(it completes it main purpose) however it's all in the one program.cs file, lacks good comments and is just generally untidy :(
I kinda fell into this whole management thing and it's kinda new to me..
Maybe he just needs a bit of direction? I am going to be putting in a code styling guide
Any tips on managing a Dev team would be very much appreciated.
PS. Iv been around for a while, and did previously have an account which was quite active, however I decided to delete and create this new more anonymous account :P10 -
First, I need you guys to read this article:
https://goo.gl/LHGVw1
Just from reading the company’s write up, they are shit. They put all the weight on the guy's shoulders. So much so that he had to put in 12x7 weeks for 2 years... One day they tell him that they are gonna scrap his work; when he exploded - and rightfully so - they fired him and built an inferior product. Of course, they praised themselves for productivity being much higher than when he was there.
At the end of the day, they were shit because they never cared about his mental health. They just pilled more and more on him, because he was the rock star. He eventually broke psychologically. They don't care about all the personal sacrifices he had to make to give them those 12X7 weeks.
Worst of all, they spun it as him being the asshole - which will make it harder for him to get another job - when it was their shit management that broke him psychologically.... sigh
They all depended on him, he knew that too. The pressure to not fail was too much.
Bad management can seriously destroy a person8 -
Our company is remote-controlled by one or two customer companies. Our CTO is remote-controlled by them also. And if that wasn't enough it feels like he has no competence in the development of normal software (not customer projects).
Officially the management in our company doesn't have the right to give direct orders to the development teams. In reality, they just ignore this rule and play dictator.
It feels that the management thinks that all developers in the company are just asses and idiots who screw up everything.3 -
Boss complains this morning about having to go to a Cubs game, and even calls it a "First world problem." (outing with management and client).
We're super behind on a lot of things, most of us are busy coding, and he sends us a photo from the game to our Slack channel.2 -
One of my other dev colleagues believe that just because I don't want to work in a particular project and I don't like the decision of management, I'm being negative.
Where the fuck is Logic? -
Understanding management talk:
Customer centric = Who we are focused on fucking.
Family oriented = employees should not have one.
Performance focused = f... You, your family and your paycheck. -
All parts of the body were having a meeting one day to choose who should be tagged as the leader.
Legs: We should be in charge because we literally carry the whole body the entire day, and without us, nobody is going anywhere.
Asshole: Without me, we cannot get rid of all the things we don't need anymore. I deserve to be in charge.
Brain: Hold up, guys, hold up. Feet, you can't move unless I tell you to move, and you can't even figure out how to put one foot over the other. Asshole, all you do is open and close; you don't even know how things are made. You have nothing to say here.
(The feet agreed, but the asshole took it personally. So he decided to go on strike and stop working for three days. The entire body went into chaos, and they pleaded with the brain for several hours.)
Brain: Okay, Asshole! You can be in charge.
The moral of the story is that sometimes an asshole is in charge not because they're the smartest ones for the position, but because sometimes assholes are in positions of power.1 -
Imagine you're in a company, one year in now. You've tried your best to amass as much knowledge of legacy services as you can (specially given no documentation) and you think you've done the best you can.
Now imagine your manager is upset that you haven't gotten as much domain knowledge as an engineer who's been in the team for five years now. Then also imagine that your manager whenever asked about specific product or tech or any knowledge on a service just keep tagging the 5 year engineer. If he ever gives an update in slack on any incident, he doesn't read what everyone has written in the channel so far, but invites the team on a call, and asks them to verbally tell him what to write as an update so as to show he actually understands it all and is showing leadership. What do you do?
Also I've read a good manager let's his team self function without any micromanaging but I feel this is literally hypocritical (lack of knowledge comparison) and useless of him to essentially making no decisions or understanding anything without pointing fingers. What would you all do about this kind of manager, or am I just inexperienced and maybe not seeing what he's actually doing and contributing. -
I can't deal with this stress anymore
I really like working at this company but the stress is getting worse and worse, too many projects going on, deadlines creeping up, micro management through "agile" and many others.
Not sure what to do, I like the people, the projects themselves but I fucking hate the management!
I think I'm gonna have to leave, I might even need a couple months break just to regain my mental power before I get back to work.2 -
I am not overly excited about my team, the team lead, my manager, my managers manager, my managers co-managers or my managers manager manager.
Further, I am not that confident that management actually became management due to competence. I now believe that management got to be management because they think (wrongly) alike. This is not a comfortable thing to dwell on.5 -
None of the networking people want to handhold the company VP during the all hands meetings (several thousand people over Webex's high volume broadcast service), so they all fumble around when they get in there.
The company owner rage fired someone in the networking team for screwing up. He has done stupid shit like this all the time.
It's one thing if it was some other time. Right now, firing someone, especially without review or for something so trivial, should be a god damn human rights violation. I've lost total faith in my company's management.2 -
Ahoy der Ranters!
I'm looking for a log management service. My server application has a 90 days rolling policy (with gzip) but I would like to store logs somewhere else before they get deleted (after 90 days).
I've heard of Cloud watch, paper trail, and logz.io
What would you recommend?5 -
I’m really getting fed up with the situation I am in!
I was brought in as a development lead, which in my eyes and from the sound of it leading on the technical delivery, inspiring and leading technical development decisions and generally leading my team (one additional dev) in the delivery of work items and user stories which the PM or Business analyst produces..
Then it “evolved” into what felt more like a development manager where I was reporting to senior management on KPIs and stuff, I sucked it up and did it.
Then they brought in two new people which they call application specialists. These people spend all their time managing existing off the shelf applications, communicating with the vendor, running user groups where they work with our users on moving the product forward and planning the configuration and enablement of new functionality.
Because they are “developing” the application (in the same way a child develops, or the same way a story line develops and evolves) they fall under me..
So now I spend a split amount of time developing software and also managing what I can only explain as project managers, product owners...
Oh but then it gets better!! Now they want me(as well as our info sec lead and our infrastructure lead) to be a kind of all round delivery lead, gauging the requirements of a project, reporting in its risks to senior management, resource planning, everything a PM does! And also be the technical person delivering these projects!
Honestly, it’s seriously starting to take the fucking piss!
I am a technical programmer, a pretty good one if I say so myself, the developer reporting to me is good but needs hand holding which I am ok with! But would never be able to deliver an element of a product by himself in line with what we expect in quality of code..
Why would anyone think you take a person built and only interested in doing a technical role and make then a generic all round manager of a project??
I know why they did it! It’s because there are other managers in our department paid the same “level” as me, but because of their management responsibility’s , I however feel I am paid this much for my technical experience and abilities, thy are just blanket covering everyone the same at this level.
You would never get a manager at this salary scale with the technical skills they need, and you would never get a technical person with the skills interested in doing that type of management at this salary scale!
I’m just a mug and they know it!
So fucking angry!3 -
When the management idea of management is to do it yourself. The answer to the question what requirements exist. "Your smart guys, you can figure it out"
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Looks like I am beginning my freelance journey.
Usefull Issue Tracker / Project Management tool?
If it's foss and written in python that would be great, I would probably try to extend it with extensions later on.3 -
What's the most inane excuse you heard for either a developer or management to not write tests?
I have endured these:
Management:
1) The project is fire and forget. It won't need tests.
2) It's a prototype. It won't go live.
3) Writing tests takes longer than without writing tests. You know how to code, don't you?
Developer:
1) I didn't have the time.
2) It was such a trivial method.
3) It's not mockable.5 -
Given a set of projects, twice the amount of work half the amount of time to do them in. We told management we need more time and more developers. Products are being given to the clients with lots of bugs. Management's response: double the QA team size... We almost have more QA members than Dev members. FFS.
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I am a programming student and last 1 year i have sat with my own programming project of a management system for monitoring 500+ clientes, has now been recognized for my work and has now been giving a new major programming project for a new management system for phones 😁3
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Our management just won't get what UX is, they call us User Experience Developers building User Experience applications with User Experience frameworks (meaning, Angular). FFUUUU, I'm a webdeveloper. YOU_DONT_DEVELOP_UX.... Just because angular looks better than the standard Oracle Crap doesn't make it UX. >.>3
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Idea: management strategy diversification experiment.
Basically we fund a company that has exactly the same fucking business model that we have, but a radically different management strategy. If it works, we know our culture needs some meddling. -
When coworkers/management can´t keep the password management up to date. EVEN WHEN REPEATEDLY BEING TOLD SO.
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Email arrives, contains a list of deadlines AND descriptions of new features and changes to portal... all news to me, Really?! All for next month you say? Didn't we just assign a different project to the team? Did we replace the 50% who leave this week yet? no.... Well done project management... Slow clap for you guys.... It's so idiotic I'm not even mad...
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Why do some firms think you can skimp on hardware for devs. I am expected to do full stack windows Dev on a 3 year old dual core Dell with style 16gb of ram. Asked for a replacement you need management approval for anything better than a 128 ssd and 8gb of ram. Some of our databases are > 100gb.3
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Something weird is happening at my company. Me and my colleague were in a team building a web application (October CMS and angular 8). I just returned from vacation and was absent for the first 2 weeks of dev. Some days in management announced that the project is "on hold", I guess something to do with paperwork, but the dev will continue. I got to work in the project only for 2 days and was shifted (with a colleague) to work on regression tests for some app I have never seen. A week or more has passed and still I have no VPN access to the app. (the app is hosted by some other company) I am bored of doing nothing. I have experienced a pattern of shifting between projects a lot. Still have not been in one from start till the very end. It is annoying. I feel that there is a lack of communication here.
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Me to my peer: "Yo the code that they sent us works but it sucks and is insecure"
My peer: "Yo that sucks they should definitely change that, go submit a ticket so they change it up, that really sucks!"
Me: *prepares ticket, gets it checked by peer:
My peer: YOoOoO U cAnT tElL tHeM tO cHaNgE oR tElL tHeM hOw tO wRiTe tHeIr CoDe ThAt ThEy DeLiVeR tO uS!1!1!eleven
--
classics1 -
Remember, you're not just the dev. You're the asset designer, UI designer, UX designer, translater, network assistant, general computer help, and more! What wonders you can work!
Actually, I'm wondering what management actually does other than "making decisions", whatever those could possibly be. We seem to make all the others. F*&#%*! -
!Rant - web dev prompt
Currently experimenting with time management so figured I'd try setting up both Basecamp and Toggl. It's for a school project and involves a basic CMS (php CRUD etc).
Is it overkill?2 -
If my manager asked for an update only on ONE report on projects, I think he'd be a perfect manager. Right now, I'm having to update FOUR different things for everything I work on: an institutional ticketing system, management's summary view page for the same ticketing system, weekly report, and my personal logging journal.
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I was about to implement a new feature (which I will call feature X), but I was not sure which branch feature X should be implemented on. Because of different products, there are a lot og branches around.
I was going to implement feature X on branch A, but that branch was currently not working, and someone was working on fixing it.
I was told by my boss to branch out from branch B as feature X would be merged in there later anyways.
And so I did.
After I am nearly finished with feature X I discover I need feature Y from branch A. Feature Y is not yet on branch B, but is scheduled to be merged in some time soon.
So I can't really finish feature X before that point, and I am told by colleague 1 I should have implemented feature X on branch C, because feature Y is there and branch C will be merged into branch B soon.
However, I found out that this has happened before.
First, colleague 1 was told to implement feature Y on branch A. This is the real implementation, the one I need. After he had spent a week implementing feature Y, he was told by colleague 2 that the feature should be implemented on branch C, which is branched off from branch B (I think). So he had to spend a day or two to move feature Y to branch C, but he still kept feature Y on branch A, because all branches will eventually be merged into branch A.
After a week or so, colleague 3 asks about feature Y and is told that the feature is on branch C. But colleague 3 need the feature on branch D, which is branched off branch B for some weeks ago.
I don't know all the details here, but colleague 3 ends up implementing a version of feature Y on branch D and he is happy.
I don't know how much time was wasted because of wrong information from management, but I have no intentions of wasting more time. I'll wait for the merge of branch C into branch B.
If this rant makes no sense, that's just my reflection of management some times.
I love management.4 -
Hey guys, I'm new to a dev management role. One of my responsibilities is to write tasks and do code reviews for the team. I keep getting issues in code due to the lack of contextual understanding of the codebase. How much detail should I include in a task? Should I expect my team to understand the context of the task/codebase?3
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So happy, a former colleague, now friend, of mine decided to join my project, he has a lot of experience and helped me out a ton in my first professional years to gain knowledge about optimization, performance, architecture and countless more stuff.(--> wk73 best dev teacher I had)
The only downside, in this case very minor downside, is that I now have to go back to something I despise: project management... I need to properly format and transfer all my scribblings and thoughts into a roadmap and a rough specification, so he has a good start into the project.
Overall though I am really looking forward to this collab, since I love to work in a team, especially with such great support. -
I spent last week trying to figure out estimates about how much time we'll spend in this quarter's project - like, 3 days on the schema, 4 days on the API, 5 days on the GUI etc. Why does management think that each part of the project is separate? Oh I forgot, they're management. I wonder how much work I could've done if management wasn't so obsessed in knowing metadata about the project instead of doing the project itself 🤔2
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My team works for a company in another country(Some hours of difference) and we work together we that company's team to develop their product. In the last couple of weeks I've been working with a senior developer of that company that everybody on my team said was a pain in the ass to working with. I didn't want to judge the guy just by others experiences, but man they were right. We're talking about a guy that has years of experience. However he is incapable of retaining any kind of simple business logic or process and leaves incomplete code everywhere (not tested properly and buggy). With the diference in hours, every morning I when I look at the hand off messages and there are multiple questions that he should know better than me(has more time in the project than me) and a lot of code that I have to fix! This guy can't complete simple tasks that could be almost copied and pasted from other parts of code. What gets me even more pissed off is that this guy has a better salary than any person in my team and does a lot less and with poorer quality. And to top it off his company management doesn't acknowledge that he is a problem...
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F-word with three consecutive U-letters! SQL Management Studio just crashed, just when I had finished a nice script, that I hadn't of course saved yet. I must say SQL Management Studio hardly ever crashes, can't even remember the last time that happened before this. Wonder if it has anything to do with the plugin SQL Complete that I installed just recently? SQL Complete also has the annoying habit of displaying a popup every time SQL Management Studio is started, with a delay just long enough so you have already got started with something when you're interrupted by that popup. No, I'm not going to upgrade a piece of software that behaves maliciously!15
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As a senior dev I take care of stuff when my boss is on vacation and what always drives me crazy is dealing with his managers. It will start with asking if this and that was already done and that's cool, my job includes knowing who does what, but the follow-up drives me crazy.
So yesterday I got one of these mails and I replied that we hadn't started cause colleague A, who was in charge, had <insert list here> topics to do first. Instead of just asking colleague A about the details of these other topics, she proceeded to ask me. To give you an idea, the manager's office is 2m away from colleague A's office.
So here I am, wasting my time with forwarding emails between two people who could just talk to each other, but apparently this is not how management works. I wish this was the first time such things happen, but alas ...2 -
Hi, my manager is leaving soon. I’ve only been here for short of 2 years and I’ve been promoted once already. It has come time to hire another dev. My director asked me to think about what I want for my career and how to hire the right person. I don’t want to become a manager if that means to stop coding and building stuff. Any advice or experiences you guys have had with this? I’m supposed to have a catchup with my director and he told me to think about it, but I only can think in terms of Problem-Solution. Not in abstract strategic career positioning or team management etc.4
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I'm pretty sure remote teams don't work with the remote team doing all the coding and we have the same exact JD and in the same department...*sigh* when management are foreign, they really are afraid of letting the local tech team help out. No wonder we are 3, sorry 2 since a fellow dev left to a better job in Amsterdam
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EVP handed us a packet for some salesforce "low code application" and "citizen developer" bullshit. What is this garbage? Who's trying to weasel into my space? Now we are obliged to learn and use this restrictive "low code" framework instead of doing what we already know, because management types and IT guys cannot compile C#.
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"All Tech Projects Run Over Budget"
https://medium.com/@team_96861/...
I was on a nice streak of being calm for a while and then this article just dropped today. Fuck management and fuck whichever dumbass wrote this piece of shit.
Is anyone else pissed off at this? It makes it sound like software engineers are slow and never on time, and the main reason for a project's failure is the inability of programmers to meet deadlines. I find this a little sus, especially as it's written by someone in a management position.
I would argue that projects fail because:
1. Management takes the very feasible timeline given to them and throws it out the window, opting to impose impossible deadlines instead, because FUCK your employees right?
2. Clients have requirements that can't be met (I agree w/ this from the article, but not the part about developers not accounting for issues--I always do this and everyone I know does this)
3. Technical Debt arising from when management tells the software engineers to *just do it this way because it's cheaper*
The calculator they made is nice but it's also quoting estimates that I and everyone I've spoken to agree with, so this is clearly not a software engineer problem, it's a fucking management problem. "Budget" = accounting's job.
/rant
That being said, the "take their quote and triple it" part had me dead...1 -
I wonder sometimes is maybe management just like. Forgot that I'm my partner's primary transportation or something. I cannot imagine how else they would have approved putting them on a 4p-1a shift where they are alone and have no other transportation options save for me, their roommate who has to be up at 6a M-F, or walking home. But like it's 1a and actually freezing outside, so...
I dunno, maybe it's the sleep-deprivation, but it seems to me like they didn't think very hard about this, despite being made well aware a month or better in advance, and clearly understanding it then since HR had me take them for their drug test just before they were hired on because they didn't have another available ride.
But, then too, this is the same management and HR that left my partner without "official" access to clean drinking water or a working bathroom for almost 3 weeks because they delayed getting them a door code, so I'm not sure what I expected, exactly 😒4 -
hi everyone quick question can people responded if your repo management tool (e.g. beanstalk, github, bitbucket, assembla) integrated with your project management tool?5
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just found out that someone that I work with intentionally changes the priority and busy/free status of ALL meetings from management to "low" and "free" (he does this manually) just so he doesn't have to go to the meetings if he doesn't want (which is typically 2x week for 30 min)6
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Exhausted af. Since Sunday been trying to get a decade old social grants payment delphi app that ran on win xp to work; and this is a couple of exes on different client/server machines communicating with cash dispensers, fingerprint readers, receipt printers as well as webcam. Apparently someone is searching archives for the source code which I will have to eventually customise to whatever the fuck "management" wants cause they want to "revive" the system. Ohh and by the way I'm not a delphi dev so now I'll have to learn
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I'm not involved in the policy management, but my office uses Google account management. I also have to free trial one of the services I use, because my account got pwned in an attack long ago.
Turns out, my office gives us 6 different emails to choose from. Two different usernames (old, from 8 years ago, and the new one) as well as three website names (.net, .com, and another website).
Literal gold for 30-day trials. -
You realize you reached the top of your career when you are on top management meeting discussing actual freaking bikeshed! It's not an urban story! Those meeting actually happen! And actually few months later we got a real bikeshed on our parking lot!
Only downside was that there was almost no bikesheding on the bikeshed meeting :-/ -
Did anyone of testers know if there is any free online test case management tool available for small development project? since I was trying to use JIRA, but the license is not free. So any advises? Thank you.1
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Wanted backing up my windows files so I can install Linux but my 500gb hard drive is acting up, just closed a pop up telling me installed successfully and it never showed up even on my disk management.. I hope it's not dead, pls is there anyone who has experienced this before? 😰2
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Idiots in my team
1) Fullstack : ask's way too many questions.
2) Tech manager - knows nothing about management
3) backend : assumes he know's everything and when asked says he know's nothing -
Yo guys any advice or tips for product dev/product management (internship) and all would be awesome1
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React/React Native
When deciding between `useState` and `useReducer` in React, it's important to consider the complexity of your state management needs. Here's a simplified breakdown post I've written:
https://x.com/lassiecoder/status/...8 -
Holy shit why does change management have to be such garbage? I've never worked anywhere with a formal change process that felt remotely like it adds value. It seems like it's even WORSE when there's a dedicated change/process team. They just get super edgy and jaded, likely because no one wants to follow their ridiculous requirements, and bitch at people whenever the real world happens and things have to happen "out of band".2
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What are your personal goto identity management providers?
I am currently looking at Firebase and Auth07 -
!rant: Need a little advice here. What are fundamental things to learn when moving from development to management? I have a course in project management from university, and one in personnel management, but what about the financial part? Where can I learn this?
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How many people use a real bug tracker? We use a project management tool for our bug tracking and it SUCKS!
What tools do you use for project management/bug tracking?2 -
Trello, one of my latest discoveries and it's quickly becoming one of my most important tool for project management
https://trello.com/ -
Rather than using the project management software that the company has spent the past year getting set up and stuck into, the new ops manager seems to think that faffing around in Google Sheets and making pretty schedules is the way forward.
If you're doing some work that's in your actual job list, but not in the new pipeline, ohhhh boy. -
I'd like to learn SCRUM/AGILE/JIRA or whatever management thingie is available out there that helps to manage projects in a team. anybody can share any link/blog/video? thanks6
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So my company isn't that fully fledged in development and now I keep seeing deadlines being pushed forward even though we're already fully loaded with tasks...
I kept mentioning that risk management would be handy but only after the recent shifts in progress delays they are like "hey hear my great idea about risk management!" *facepalm* -
“State Management in Angular using Akita” https://blog.angularindepth.com/sta...
my article on Angularindepth :)
This article will help us to understand the importance of state management library and how Akita helps Angular applications to manage the state. -
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Asset management consulting https://dataart.com/industries/... can be beneficial for individuals and organizations that have complex financial situations or require specialized expertise. By working with an asset management consultant, clients can gain a better understanding of their investments, minimize risk, and achieve their financial goals. -
Hi guys and gals!
Currently in the search for a good management team for solo freelancing projects. I've used Trello before but am looking for something that maybe tracks time spent on tasks for hourly charge and is more defined to web development/design.
If anyone has any suggestions they would be greatly appreciated!
Thanks in advance! Keep on keeping on!4