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When you look back on your github activity and just think "Wow, we have really created something special. This is really going to help the world." It just... It gets me. That's why I do this day in and day out.
14 -
Overheard from a sales call (involving web templates):
"Sometimes I really don't get our devs. They come up with all these ridiculous meaningless acronyms for everything, and yet they go mental if you dare shorten Javascript to Java."11 -
There is this salesman right across from me that always brags about how rich his parents are and how lucky us tech guys are for having such an easy job. He told me one day that he was going to quit and make his own software company currently having no developing experience at all because "I've seen some of these developers. If those guys can do it, it'll be a breeze." I convinced him that the best language to learn in order to make your own websites/apps is Linux command line. Hilariously enough, the other 2 devs heard me say that and when Glenn the sales douche followed up with them one of them told him "Yeah, If you think you're really going to be quick with it then Linux will be your best bet, but if you have trouble just learn C++ instead and you'll still be able to make websites." Best of luck on your new Venture, you spoiled jizz stain.8
-
- Which operating system do you have? Windows?
- Nah, I have LibrOffice
- ...
If you weren't my sister I would have slapped you.10 -
Rob :Truth or Dare
Android Dev:Dare
Rob: Uninstall and reinstall your android studio with SDKs @50kbps
Android Dev:Truth2 -
No one dare deploy anything the week before Christmas - no fucking way I'm writing a hotfix under the Christmas tree again this year
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WHY THE FUCK IS IT SO FUCKING HARD FOR THESE CUM SUCKERS TO UNDERSTAND THAT CHANGING REQUIREMENTS 2 DAYS BEFORE THE DEADLINE IS JUST GONNA BREAK EVERYTHING!?!?
I DOUBLE DARE ANYONE TO TELL ME ITS NOT WORKING TOMORROW...
STUPID MOTHER FUCKER PMS CANT PLAN ANYTHING6 -
Fuck MatLab. Fuck Mathworks. Why the fuck do I still have this fucking piece of shit on my computer? Even its logo makes me want to puke.
You think JavaScript is bad? Try MatLab, JavaScript will look like a saint.
You are still virgin? Try MatLab, it will fuck you hard.
Give me one fucking engineer who has to use MatLab and love its nonsense, I dare you!31 -
I don't care if you're a friend, acquaintance, or we fucking knew each other in high school!
If I fucking agree to do some free work for you, feel fucking happy about it! Don't fucking ask for more work or demand work or give me fucking deadlines just because you know me!
I'm doing you a fucking favor! Do you want me to send you the fucking invoice? I don't care if you're on a budget, I agreed to help you out, but don't you dare fucking cross the line!12 -
Had to delete and repost because the original screenshot showed something personal.
Original caption: How dare Tumblr calls me a nerd! It might be true... But still!
13 -
Find me a co-founder of a startup who while telling about his/her company doesn't say "Machine Learning" in his/her speech.
I dare you. I double dare you.5 -
HP printer: *starts acting on its own*
*pulls plug*
NOW WHO FUCKING OWNS YOU, FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT?!! WHO PAID COLD HARD FUCKING MONEY FOR YOU HUH, FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT?!!!!
Don't you ever dare to do anything again, unless I fucking tell you to, fucking worthless piece of shit, that can't even do its printer jobs properly!!! WORTHLESS FUCKING PIECE OF JUNK!!!
Guess I'll leave it unplugged until I have a new print job for it at this point. Geez, can't even trust my fucking printer to do what it's supposed to anymore!!! Long live the world in Big Brother. Lest we forget that there exists such a thing as fucking ownership!!!14 -
Alias coworker = high school classmate
This kid wore a trench coat to school every single day and I guess he had a chronic masturbation problem because the guy was caught 3 different times IN CLASS jerking off.
Most people would catch a sexual harassment / indecent exposure / public masturbation charge, but this kid was breaking all these national math competition records and was working with a local university doing research and had a 4.5+ GPA (in high school in U.S. that's possible) so the school decided to do 2 things.
1. Not punish the kid, and in fact nothing of this was ever put on any record at all.
2. Write him a note from school administrators saying that this student can leave class whenever he would like no questions asked, and that the teacher must notify the office so they could send a security guard in order for this masturbation obsessed student to literally occupy a bathroom as his jerk off chamber uninterrupted.
So if in the past 6-7 years you've been in a high caliber university studying computer science and there was a kid in a trench coat "feeding some geese" near you, you can thank my high school.6 -
This fucktard of a 'stick that facility management up your arse' manager.
He insisted 'no cooling required. Trust me'.
While we insisted 'how dare you to asume our servers temperatures'!
We moved our servers to a new /tmp/office/ yesterday. Was quite fun, until we saw this...
Doorhandle is hot as fuck, 50 degrees air temperature, all servers in heat error state. Thank you, you damn fucktards! Take this cactus 🌵 and stick it up your arse!!
Can't work like that.
13 -
Programmer's son asks his father:
Dad, why do the sun rises on the east and sets on the west ?
Father: It works ! Do not dare to touch it.4 -
The next time you see developers wearing headphones, please understand that it's our most polite of saying:
"I'm in the freaking 'zone'. Don't you dare disturb my rhythm in coding and lose my momentum. Now unless it's reaaally that important, leave it in our group chat/email and I'll read it later."
Tap gently. We're at overdrive when we headbang to music while coding.7 -
if i learned one thing from my internship it's "Just do it".
I always wanted to master parallax but didn't dare to. My boss then forced me into learning it. I made my own parallax script that day.
4 -
Ya go ahead. Touch my screen. The next thing I would do is get that same fingerprint from my screen, unlock your phone and fucking factory reset it. Or worse, message all the girls in your contact that you have a tiny dick. Go ahead. I dare you to touch my screen.8
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Co-worker: "We would appreciate it if your future commits weren't so ignorant and bigoted"
Me: "Excuse me?"
Co-worker: "You made the gender variable a boolean"
I... But... Okay...13 -
A bit of the masterpiece i have to work almost every week, note the line number... and there a plethora of files like this. Oh, and the company i'm working on has 500+ employees and almost 500K customers, but don't you dare to propose a system replacement, as the manager says we are very busy with a lot a changes and always mentions that we take a lot of time to make the modifications.... Probably he will belive us when a extremely expensive external consultat say the samething we do.
13 -
So, I've been following a tutorial and explanatory series on YouTube about procedural terrain generation.
I dare saying it's going quite well!
20 -
imagine the new try/catch block
try
..
catch
...
finally
....
please
...
how dare you?! (Application.Exit())4 -
Saw a company's database storing gender in a boolean. I got so mad...at the very least, store gender in a float, 0 to 1. How dare they classify my gender as a boolean, forcing me into the binary societal patriarchal bullcrap?39
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You are a consultant and wrote some easy scripts by copying code snippets together?
Good for you!
It makes your job easier?
Good for you!
You didn't care too much about UI because you only needed the job to be done?
That's fine!
BUT DON'T YOU DARE SELL THIS SHIT TO A CUSTOMER AND CALL YOURSELF A SOFTWARE DEVELOPER!
YOU ARE NO DEVELOPER!
YOU DON'T KNOW NOTHING ABOUT HOW TO BUILD A RELIABLE SOFTWARE.
no one needs a solid database structure?
Object oriented programming is "just another hype"?
No one cares for the coding?
FUCK YOU, AND YOUR ATTITUDE!7 -
😩 That moment when you finish a project (part), close browser tabs close tons of terminal windows, quit a giant ide.. and you realize that you forgot a thing.. 😩12
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Senior showing fellow intern what SQL injection is on the app the intern created :
Senior : "then I hit enter and the query get executed and...
Intern : "don't you dare hitting enter!!!"4 -
Made a bunch of bad decisions.
This one is the absolute worst.
Studying biology as a main subject intstead of computer science in high school.
Indian people in here would know, studying PCMB is no less than being a dare devil. 🤣
Why did I do that ?
I didn't want to get into medicine.
I just wanted to study it for fun.
And thought, I'll be able to study all of computer science in college 😶.
Its totally useless now.
How much of biology do I remember now ?
Not much.
Studying CS would have been much more beneficial for me.12 -
As a PhD student, I do not dare have hobbies. I mean, I don't exactly have time for it. I could make time for it, but then the phd would take forever.
☹️8 -
Dear product managers,
DO NOT FUCKING DARE TO UPDATE THE FRS SHEET ONCE YOU HAVE SUBMITTED IT TO US FOR DEVELOPMENT.
You fuckers. It takes a lot of brain power to write code. -
Psa: i dont give a shit if you use php but dont you fucking dare echo your shit out to the dom or i will fucking gut you you degenerate16
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Just had my first demo here. The resolution of the screen was set at 150% screwing more up then i hoped for.
I didn't dare to show the iPad version. I had seen enough bugs in those 10 minutes.
Don't put this developer in the center of attention. Please.2 -
The not supporting browser part is ok but I'm not on windows using ie but on my phone using my default browser ........
Also how dare they put ie on my phone without telling me ........
4 -
So I dropped an FYI via slack to a colleague and they immediately replied!
How dare they! They are on vacation!
Turn off your slack, disable your notification, don't check your mails.
Your work shouldn't have any impact on how you spend your vacation. We will manage.5 -
When I was 20, I coded for 24 hours straight, even ate at the computer, as a dare to finish all the tasks in one go. I was successful.
Now I'm 25 and I have no time for such stuff. Kinda miss that3 -
Finally, got this piece of beauty and badass combined, just to get some peace at work...
Now, dare those noisy neighbors, who doesn't silence their mobile and laptops, making loud chimes in IM, playing music on speakers and knocking at my desk when I'm on headphones and clearly don't want to be disturbed...
7 -
Rant about my application - mate thinks he can add features that are insanely hard to implement. Dare initiated. $150 if he does it, he buys me 3 rounds if he looses.
Proceed to give him the link to the repo. He downloads it and runs it in VS. Complains that it doesn't work and is broken...
"Have you installed the frameworks?"
"What frameworks"...1 -
NO FUCKING WAY YOU ARE GONNA PAY SOMEONE THE EQUIVALENT OF TWO MONTHS WHAT I MAKE TO DO SOMETHING I CAN DO IN A FUCKING WEEKEND BECAUSE "I HAVE SO MUCH TO DO ALREADY AND COMPANY STUPID POLICY DOESN'T ALLOW EMPLOYEES TO BE CONTRACTED AS FREELANCER ON THEIR SPARE TIME!!
HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT TO MY FACE YOU STUPID COCK SUCKER! I BET YOU CANT EVEN SUCK A FUCKING DICK PROPERLY STUPID FUCK!!!!!!!4 -
The joy that happens when the QA intern knows how to program and tells you which lines in the source to check out2
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I am currently working on my Master's thesis in the R&D department of a company that builds&sells mechanical appliances. Obviously a part of the thesis is outlining the various approaches.
Me: * Headphones on, browsing competitor's website for citeable content*
*Le boss approaches, starts looking at my screen*
B: Are you honestly preferring their approach over ours?!
M: *sets down headphones* What dou you mean?
B: *Begins rant about unfair competitors, how I dare consider defecting to a competitor*
M: Uhm.. I was just looking for sources so that i coukd write about different approaches...
B: Oh. Carry on then. *leaves*
M: *scratches head, opens devRant, begins typing*1 -
Windows, if you can't even do as much as mounting network shares *after* the network comes up, don't you fucking dare to tell me that I can't disable my firewall. Some people may actually know what they're doing and maintain that elsewhere, you know?5
-
Once Upon a Time.........
Three database SQL walked into a NoSQL bar.
A little while later they walked out Because they could not find a table.1 -
As a side project, I've been helping out a friend build a website for free.
friend: I need more of your commitment for this project. We're about to get a huge client!
Me: Yeah you've been saying that for a year. Dude, I just don't have time to waste in projects that are not givine me any money.
friend: HOW DARE YOU! ARE YOU BLACKMAILING ME?!?!
ugh... not my friend anymore10 -
Management: Create [totally idiotic and complicated feature, near to impossible to create]
Me: that's close to impossible and could probably destroy some other parts of the application.
Management: well, then your application is poorly programmed.
DAFUQ? HOW DARE TO JUDGE THE QUALITY OF MY CODE WITHOUT EVEN ABLE TO READ 2 LINES OF CSS? WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK IS THIS?
I'm really not easily offended but this sentence hit really hard.4 -
Unity is ... shit. Never again for LD. We had so many problems with git destroying scenes files. Anyway if you want to try our game: https://ldjam.com/events/...
6 -
Minutes away from Ludum Dare submission closing. Finalizing game build to upload and submit and I get this...!!!
FUCK!
I'm too exhausted to give a shit at this point. Guess I'm out. Still pretty happy with what I managed to make. Had a late start, first LD and I actually managed to make something I guess XD
I'm going to bed T_T
6 -
ceo: we need new docs, kiki should make them
tens of team members: lemme explain docs to kiki
ceo: don’t you fucking dare, let kiki execute their unique thought process
☺️14 -
My refresh button on my mouse is coming loose and is about to fall off, how dare this £11.99 mouse not last for upwards of three years, it's an outrage!
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Dear person who extended my <T> to <Type> in the documentation:
Fuck you! Everybody knows what the T stands for! Don't mess with my stuff, don't go against my ethics and most of all, don't even dare to talk back on me unless you want me to return the favour and extand that assgole of yours with a cactus2 -
A friend actually asked me this..
He is building an android app for selling his stuff and haven't used hashs for storing passwords..
11 -
Found this while googling an error...
It identifies as an easter-egg therefor it is an easter-egg, so don't you dare egg shame me!
😁 It's not much but i'll take it 😂
1 -
Idiot group: "We have no servers like that."
My group: Turns off mystery server no one can identify.
Idiot group: "HEY THAT WAS OUR SERVER YOU FUCKS HOW DARE YOU."1 -
Have I ever told you guys of the time that I had made my PM feel bad by saying I had to drop 3 classes because he was working me so hard?
Yeah that happened and he felt really bad about it!
GOOD! FUCKING GOOD! I want you to feel bad about it! Don't you dare say that I'm not putting in enough work ever again!1 -
Please, oh please, tell me there's an exception for murdering people using their phone in speaker mode right in the middle of an open space.
Please ... I feel like it should count as public service and be rewarded ..
I'm trying to work here, it don't give the slightest flying fuck about the latest crap you dare to call code and how it fucked up your whole application.5 -
Fucking piece of shit windows 10!
Screw you to hell!
Disk usage : 100%
Memory usage: 60%
CPU usage: 2%
Sluggish as hell! And downloading updates without even asking! How fucking dare you!
Stuck with this shit just because of Photoshop and Illustrator.11 -
My PM is a glorified Q&A tester. Has never coded in his life and refuses to use jira or slack. He basically emails me a word document (because he refuses to use google docs) with all his "so-called bugs' errors. I dare you to tell me of a worse PM.1
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Being an apprentice programmer in a Ludum Dare (Create a game in 72h) that knows more than the official programmer, and have an artist in the group who makes THIS PIECES OF ART!
She didn't even had a computer to work with it, neither she asked for one to the event, so eventually she used mine... And I could not do my work.
Did I mentioned that she used PAINT to color the images?
This is a long, looong story, I'll do the complete version soon...
God.
12 -
Motivation 404. I'm as slow as a drunk turtle today.
So, I dare you to tell me something motivating!36 -
My manager: Hey if you are stuck don't be afraid to go ask the team in charge of a module for help.
Also my manager when I dare to ask a team when stuck: I feel like we are wasting this other teams time. You should probably try to figure this out on your own.
Damned if I do, Damned if I don't.
fml1 -
No, you cannot ask us to move our tech meeting elsewhere because we're being "loud", for the same reason we don't ask you to leave the area because your non-work-related chatter is distracting us from our said meeting. It's the only video conferencing system in the joint, and it's not our fault you and your people sit nearby. How dare you go past us and complain to our boss as if we're nothing to you - just because you were recently promoted, don't act like you were never in the trenches with the rest of us. It's like you have no respect for us now that you've gone a step up the ladder. The next time you or your team members try to fuck with us like that over petty shit like this, we're going to bring the hammer down on your asses and burn every last vestige of self-worth you have by making sure you never get a moment's peace. It's bad enough you and your team suck each other off during our bi-weekly department meeting by patting yourselves on the back for doing what's supposed to be your fucking jobs - don't you dare try to drag us down to make yourselves look like fucking saints. That is where I cross the goddamn line.
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SEO analyst (hired by client) sends his inform to client, designer and developer (me) and all it says is: use friendly urls, proper use of h1, h2..., use alt in img tags...
Come on dude! Those are obvious things to any webdev out there who earns his salary. Do YOUR fucking job, do some fucking research and DO NOT dare to tell me page title and meta description are important (Really? No shit genius!) and tell me THE page title and THE fucking meta description... Or...
Fuck off and go find some other victim to trick with your bullshit marketing slang.3 -
I have a rule of thumb.
No call on private phone number.
Definately no reply on whatsapp...
Dare adding me on any WhatsApp group.
No communication beyond slack and Google meet.
People need to classify things between professional and personl communication medium.4 -
Websites: Let me slide in a little piece of data in your browser for your convenience so that you don't have to enter your password every time you come back. We even have a great name for it - Cookie!
EU - WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO OUR COMPUTERS, HOW DARE YOU MAKE OUR LIVES BETTER WITHOUT LETTING US KNOW FIRST.
(also pay us €10000000 k bye)4 -
That time I almost distroyed everything... (we've all had at least one of those, don't you dare deny it)7
-
My girlfriend told me to take the spider out instead of killing it.
We went and had some drinks.Cool guy. Wants to be a web developer.3 -
Had an issue running through someone else's buggy code and my PM told me to "use a goto to fix it up, those always used to help me in school". Can a recruiter on here throw me a bone and get me out of this place?
-
"Why would you make your own when you can just get one for like $30 online?"
One of the single most disheartening things I've heard from a peer.
Seriously, are you really so incompetent and dependent upon other people's work that you can't even come up with a single reason why I would do this?! Don't you dare try to call yourself an engineer. Call yourself a cheat, cause that's the only way you passed that class.
Even after explaining that making it yourself is one of the best ways to learn about/understand it, they still couldn't understand.3 -
now we r talkin'. don't you dare change the status. I even plan to be quiet as much as I can endure to enjoy the 1K++
P.S. 10x @retoor
4 -
I absolutely love the dev community but one thing I just can't stand is the snobbery that permeates it. I don't understand why some devs expect non devs to know or understand the intricacies of computer programming or even computers in general when it's really not their job to do so.
"Ahhhhh!! How DARE this non dev PEASANT ask me about hacking Facebook accounts!! Does he NOT understand the basics of DNS spoofing and social engineering!!1!!1! bahh"2 -
Seriously, how the fuck is it possible for someone to be a senior engineer after only 1.5 years in the industry?
I have been working for 5 years and I don't dare to say it because I have seen real seniors with 15+ years of work experience and how they work. A completely different level. Hell, I refuse opportunities that announce they want senior engineers for that reason.10 -
Why do I always work on a project intensively for 2 days, don't touch it for a week or two for reason X and then don't dare to touch it anymore.
Damn5 -
So I noticed people are increasingly putting their preferred pronouns on their social media, email signatures, résumés, etc. I also noticed a certain amount of praise gets ladled onto the ones who are other than their cisgender while heaps of scorn come at those whose pronouns match their apparent gender. Especially if they dare defend an idea that non-cis people are against.
Is this the world we live in now? Or is my little corner of the online world just a non-representative fluke, and non-cis people are actually more tolerant than I’m seeing?8 -
I'm having a strong urge to kill that asshole that asked me, on a SECOND interview for a SENIOR position if I knew what ORM was!!!
Are you making me fucking waste my time you fucking cunt???
Did you fucking read my CV?
Obviously not because you would have seen several ORM technologies on it you fucking piece of shit.
You made me waste my time, and now I have no choice but to slice your fucking throat!
I'll be waiting for you, in the dark you mother fucker.13 -
Every language that doesn't have multi-line comments:
# Of course CodeLang supports multi-line comments!
# This is a multi-line comment!
# How dare you say otherwise!13 -
alright... seems like my day was really productive. spent about 10 hours in the company doing nothi-
Wait... I was online on devRant. How dare I forget that fact? -
!Rant
.net 6 + c# 10 is a blast to work with !
I double dare you to create hello world with less lines :) (It's actually 1 line in .net 6)
5 -
Traceback (most recent call last):
File "me.py", line 1, in <module>
AttributeError: 'Dave_Elec' object has no attribute 'social'1 -
hey... can I build a FUCKING android image that uses a camera library?
react-native-camera: deprecated, no longer maintained
react-native-vision-camera: it's like globalthermonuclear war with versioning and patches and support and splat splat bullshit in that repo, don't even dare look at the issues there, trust me, please
react-native-camera-kit: doesn't compile for targetSdk 33, no matter what the FUCK you do
jesus christ i want to scan a fucking QR code with my app and my gradle configs have turned into world war III where the fuck did we go wrong folks8 -
A lot of devs I meet are pretty cool but a handful, including some on here, seem to think the world revolves around them and they deserve to have the ground dusted off in front of them.
That's fucking narcissistic and you need a reality check if you're like that. It's great you're passionate about your knowledge but you're not out here taking down terries and saving children from burning buildings, like calm down with the self righteousness
Just had to get that out after one too many "how dare anyone looketh unto me unless I request it in advance" posts. Like chill out, you're not that special 🙄14 -
!dev
I'm always torn at the gym:
As a former rower, it gives me almost physical pain to see people on the rowing machines, flailing around and almost falling off sideways (rowing is an elegant, albeit masochistic sport).
However, as a swiss person, strangers are my natural predator and might eat me alive if I dare speak to them...3 -
So I had plans of hammering out ludum dare and personal game work... But instead discovered the glory that is extra stout Guiness... Struggled to type this out and Im not even mad!
(Guarantee I'll wake up super pissed at myself for not working) -
I dare you to spend the last 3-7 hours of 2020 NOT looking at your phone! Go masterbate... talk to yourself... read a book... drink!.. Play chess... just lay down and groan... clean the kitchen!!! ANYTHING! And maybe even the first 24 hours of 2021!!!!!
Get out of your own ass for a while! Or into your own ass - but out of your fucking phone!!It’ll be fun!5 -
Returned to my desk earlier and guess what, someone fucking stole something from me. How dare someone fucking steal my tictac! 😑😑😑1
-
!Rant
Looking at various Devs & non-devs like myself, ranting, posting meme's [my bad];
I realised why we keep coming back. Nope not because of the notifications, but because devRant feels like home dare I say it, it feels like family.
Thank you @dfox @trogus & the other creators who aren't that famous [my bad I don't remember your names].
Thank you.5 -
"Have you tried regenerating your provisioning profiles?" Say it one more time mothefucker I dare you I double fucking dare you.
-
I dare you to show what sins you committed when you still were a newbie to programing.
Mine is below.11 -
When you want to write to the client "how are you?" but your auto correct knows your feelings and you send "how dare you?" instead....
-
Hetzner. Very cheap no nagging, no support bullshit, Lots of options, Just does what it does.
Did I mention their pricing?6 -
After 3 months of working at my current and first job I inherited a spaghetti codebase with files as large as 1000 lines because my mentor left.
Everything works but dare to change a thing. No Unit tests or any sane practices. At least our CI/CD is automated. 😂
Now I am asked to bend the library backwards in order to integrate it with another product. No one helps me and I am slowly starting to feel devastated. 😩5 -
One of those mysterious bugs that only happens on production. Want to solve it on your laptop, it's not reproducible. Staging server? Nope. Production?
HOW DARE YOU TOUCH THE LIVE SYSTEM?!?1 -
How dare my manager do his job and nag me about something that I did honestly completely forget about. Rude!
-
You've got to be kidding me, you really think you can waltz in after a 2 months asking me to fix something which supposedly "suddenly" popped up which I guess you didn't notice 2 months ago during project delivery? And then even dare ask WHAT you are being charged for? ESPECIALLY when working on a Sunday? You can die in the gutter.4
-
!!rant
Types of elitists in the computer science area I REALLY HATE:
* Linux kernel developers: if they hear anything that's not linux you will be prosecuted
* functional programing developers (haskell, scheme, etc): they will bitch slap you if you even dare to mention php or javascript5 -
I deleted the Facebook app on my phone (2.5 hours of background use a day?!)
Now I have nothing to close to immediately reopen and feel like an idiot. And don't you dare suggest dev rant, this place barely has enough content to open once a day.15 -
!rant
when you find 3 spelling errors in the same line of code and realize that these are legit 'cause the objects and methods are actually coded misspelled.
That's when no one dare doing code review but simply it builds and its fine.
Luckily #NotMyCode -
Client: I need you to integrate with this API.
Me: ok cool, but what are we doing with it (where does the data go/styling)?
Client: what do think we should do?
Me: well it would be really cool if we did it like this *short and sweet explanation of really cool functionality and design*
Client: I LOVE IT! Let's do it, oh also I need it done by tomorrow...
Me: *GOD DAMNIT, why do you always do this...don't you dare say ok* ok, yeah I can totally do that.
...now at the market stocking up on redbull2 -
1. Put idea on roadmap
2. Work out simple implementation
3. Productowner-san, please notice me.
4. Other devs pile on cool but complex ideas
5. A 4 hour meeting later, original simple idea is rejected because it's "out of scope" and there is "no consensus about implementation"
6. I already built it during the meeting
7. I sip my coffee while I enjoy the annoyed gasps as coworkers receive PR notifications.
8. FUCKING DARE TO REJECT IT COCK SUCKING SCRUMBAGS.2 -
Damn specs! Why do you have to change as the project goes on?!! Every project seems too easy at first.
-
Been working with NodeJS a lot lately. Finding it really convenient and flexible. As someone who spent a lot of time using C, it's like going from eating fruit to candy bars. Seems pretty amazing just npm installing whatever you need and working with those packages... Until you dare to look at the list of ingredients.5
-
Fuck all of these recruiters who says that I am right for the job but after sending a CV and my hourly rate, the application is dead in the water.
So, I am not the right one to do the job, why do you fucking dare to say that in the first place? Aaaaaaaaaaaaaa!4 -
Just met a lonely guy , he was terrified . I asked him what's the issue ? He said .. " My girlfriend told me that she loves gemstones , I bought her one . She broke up with me ! " And I was so confused .. I asked him why ? He said I didn't know she was a developer . I wouldn't dare to gift her a ruby... I know how it feels bruh.2
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Well I noticed one thing here.
You write any post regarding coding, bad management, juniors or whatever shit, this community welcomes you
But you dare to put wrong tag or category, all are like where the fuck is report button? can I dislike this post bla bla..
Why so with wrong tag21 -
Was just asked why a react project keeps on throwing CI error that path not found, saw the OS was windows and my reply was:
I don't dare using Nodejs/React on Windows, on *nix machine or that thing will keep on messing up
I hope I was right in my response :S6 -
What! Now we have a terminal made with electron! https://hyper.is/ electron? Seriously a tool which is supposed to be the fastest and lightest thing on your system built with the most bloated framework. Damn..
And here is the most useless plugin. https://hyper.is/#hyperpower8 -
I have been working on a, dare I say it, a Cookie Banner JavaScript Plugin for GDPR requirements. It's completely customisable and provides users opt-in/opt-out options. More features to follow. You can check out the updated build at
https://github.com/clive-machado/... 🤙2 -
The freaking ad and the freaking app dare to play even after I have closed the ad from the screen. You ask for it. UNINSTALL.4
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You little fuck.......
I ask you how to get my access to some system and I get attacked with how did I dare to report issues to you my colleague was having w/o having my own acc...
This is the first time I have played the victim card in my life. Let's see how that works out.
P.S. it's a massive CORP so I expect some some wasp-nest-poked effect.3 -
Are there any technologies or techniques that you don't like but they are so popular you dare not mention?21
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I dont dare share my github with potential profesional partners, its 40% contributions, 10% my public projects and 50% insulting other libraries in their issues because i become irritated when i cant get it working :P
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I want to thank chatGPT today for writing a GDPR related email for me. I would otherwise cuss the shit out of the douchbags who dare collect my data from god knows where and then require me to opt out of them making money off me.5
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There are so many movies that explore the idea of the "void". A world between worlds where dark forces are at play. Only necromancers and evil geniuses dare touch the void.
Programmers be like:
void doSomeDarkShit(void* magic);4 -
Yesterday I told an intern that was supposed to be shadowing me that he'll need to download visual studios with apache Cordova plugin for multi platform app design. I gave this assignment to him first thing in the morning (around 9:30 am) and told him to head home for the day thinking I was giving the kid a break to download and make sure the build was proper and to play around with it maybe. I check my inbox this morning to find that, alongside numerous expletives, this intern has quit as of 3:40 AM last night. I... I didn't see that one coming.4
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Fucking travel auditors and yous stupid rules for travel reports. I've sent you countless e-mails explaining the situation and you can't fucking read?! YOU told me how I was supposed to fill the report and I did it as you told me to, but dare to reject it?!
Fucking incompetent and useless morons, you ain't worth shit! Fuck you and your stupid travel report! -
So it's 2018, I thought let's start working with Android Studio on Ubuntu. [Due to some guy who posted his CPU usage on a very heated rant of same issue]
I realized it's fucking mess(/shit) and you dare not keep any browser open in back/fore-ground. Now, my entire system is stuck.
Ruined the first day man. -
Pretty sure that the code doesn't work on the first run, so I thought why not debug it now? but then when am I actually gonna run it...
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WTF... it works half the time and fails the other half.. is it planned just to drive me mad?! uuhhh..3
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I'll have bring windows back onto my laptop. Planing to dual boot it with arch. I have to an ssd and an hdd. I plan to install both on the ssd and continue to use the hdd for data. But I'm a but paranoid.
Would the windows installer dare to overwrite the data on my, without my permission?12 -
It was when i was 4th grade. We had windows 95 computers in school. I used tk do assignments on them and submitted with a floppy disk. Yeah, copy paste started there...
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Anybody entering ludum dare on the 29th? I wanna try my luck at making a game, never succeeded before :')3
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I cleaned up my desk and decluttered everything to freshen things up.
It's much nicer to have a clean desk especially when a desk is the only 'office' in your business.
It's not perfect, but it's much better than before :)
PS: I wouldn't dare to share the mess it was and burn it through your eyes... It'd be a sin.
6 -
!dev !rant
So I'm thinking of buying a treadmill and I was wondering, might it be possible to build something that locks my computer from gaming until I have walked / ran X km on it.
Does anyone know / anyone know an existing app like that?10 -
Somehow my fren and I were requested to come to the campus to monitor the servers for 3 hours, because nothing's happening, he decided to give ourselves a challenge:
We're letting the people of devRant decide which one of us has a better drifting during our run on Need For Speed: Carbon - with Drift Mode Hack on
Fren's Run: https://streamable.com/022ug
My Run: https://streamable.com/tnm3l3 -
1) Miss Ludum Dare 40 because you remembered it is on one day after it started.
2) See Ludum Dare 41 is this week on time.
3) Lack the time to do it.
4) Commit suicide.2 -
Converting javascript/ typescript Map to json
or python date to json
or anything complicated to json is mostly ending with implementing serialization patterns
With date it’s so annoying cause we have iso standards that every language implemented or have libraries
so typescript doesn’t recognize Map<string, string> so you have to convert it to array and then to object
with python you need to make your own serializer / deserializer
So much waste of power usage that if only Greta know it she would say ‘how dare you!’
It can stop global warming.5 -
I couldn't keep myself from having stickers, I always removed them, but then this happened.
If any of these buggers dare come off, thanks dell for the nice surface btw /s, I will freeken super glue them on!
3 -
It's so fucked up for me, I don't even want to rant about it now, from now on it'll be 'best is yet to come' or so I dare to believe
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I want to know the name of the evil mastermind who once conceived the "literal" function in Sequelize.
- You design a method to insert pieces of raw SQL exactly the way they are written, no further processing
- You release this method, you call it LITERAL to make sure people know its intended purpose: it is used to insert LITERALLY everything you write, nothing more and nothing less
- Then make sure this "literal" method changes the fucking case of column names. Because that's what "literal" means in the head of this rabid animal: you arbitrarily change the code written by the developer
WHY
WHY ARE ALL AR ORM DESIGNED BY FUCKING ANIMALS
ELOQUENT IS TRASH, SEQUELIZE IS TRASH, TENS OF DEVELOPERS AT WORK TO ALCHEMICALLY CREATE THE MOST ROTTEN CODE THEY POSSIBLY CAN, BECAUSE YOU MUST NOT BE ALLOWED TO WRITE ANY QUERY MORE ADVANCED THAN "SELECT * FROM users WHERE id =1", NOT A FUCKING SHRED OF DOCUMENTATION AND 16 MILLION LAYERS OF ABSTRACTION TO MAKE SURE EVERY BUG FUCKING STAYS THERE, DON'T YOU DARE TO USE A JOIN, DON'T YOU DARE TO TREAT A DMBS LIKE AN ACTUAL FUCKING DBMS INSTEAD OF A HOT STEAMING PILE OF METHODS IMPLEMENTED BY MONKEYS.
6 -
so far, a pretty nice tutorial book about making a parser and interpreter, but when i saw this, my thought was "don't you fucking dare..."
...but he does. flow control via exceptions.
shame.
14 -
Having a look at electron again after giving up on it months ago.
I must say, the documentation has improved a lot since then, and it looks---dare I say---intuitive to use?
The electron api demos app is surely some help, but I'm not really all that sure how much it lives up to its name. It doesn't really demonstrate anything, and it doesn't cover the whole api, just small chunks of it.
Loving the event system though!12 -
Fucking kidding me.. why does it stopped suddenly when i had to show it up? today i was working on a project and my client wanted to see how it is going then i packed my stuff and went there to show him then it stopped to working...
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Some one just asked me to build his site. I don't enjoy building sites. Especialy wordpress... I have never used it but i don't like it. But It could be a fast cash. What do you guys think?8
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This is my first "Fuck you Windows" post. I just got a warning from GitHub that blocks me from using it;
"You must update your password to continue using GitHub.com"
Who the fuck are you? I am risking to be hacked. Why do you care, you just warn me and move on. How dare you block me and force me to use better password.21 -
No one: ...
Some Random Karen: Ohh my Gaaawd!!!
How dare you not be inclusive to the LGBTQIABCXYZ+-×÷ community!!!
8 -
"This is the last warning I'm giving you, don't you dare to talk to my gf"
"But I only listen to errors" -
Viber for Node: works with Express
But don't you dare to try using Express's default middlewares.
Don't you fucking dare
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A follow up.. Changed my monitor... (not better than what I had) was just boared... Then Ibsaw my desktop (Gnome) and wanted to change it to. So i started removing tons of gnome and ubuntu packages including gdm and stuff.. Installes i3. started configuring... installed a dm... Changed my idea and started to install a new distro to start from scratch.. Spent a day like this. have absolutely no reason to do this.1
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I've left the job last year, no planning for any big move yet. When I'm demotivated, I talk to my father and plan to join some company. And his response is "If you dare, why do you care?"
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Debugs part of project with a colleague.
Framework I am using across all projects might be problematic on deployment.
Colleague: "You can just change the framework" - proceeds to head towards project settings.
Me: *twitches* 😳 - "If you change the framework right now I will kill you"
Colleague: seemingly shocked. "...talk properly dude... (jeez)"6 -
Have you tried to look up documentation for some module and find another module that better does it? and this loop continues...
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I dare you to share your worst burn-outs , ever experienced ! And what are you doing now , to prevent it ?
2 -
Woke up today and my second thought was I should make a game. First being I need to pee.
I've no idea why. I've not been reading up on it (until today). I've not been playing games and I've not properly touched game dev since it was a unit in college 5+ years ago.
It has consumed me all fucking day. And I'm practically done with writing my project plan for it. Where the fuck has this come from?
I don't think I've been so excited to start working on a project since I started coding. -
Who the twattrumpet invented friday deploy was a good idea? What not who the horsedesecrating dickbadger tought I will have overdue work because this disgraceful human rudiment who has embryonic fluid inside his puffball head instead of brain thinks it is okay tell me sorry man but I forgot to tell you about the bugs you requested for last week. You know what? I will do it but if you dare to disturb me on weekend becausebyou didn't test whenbI told you I will stick your carcass up your ass!!!
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I don't exactly know... but i'm preety sure that it was more that 12.
reason - someone's final project which had only 1 day left before the deadline. -
The new owner info for my laptop:
"Don't dare to touch it's a private property if found will be shot dead and survivors would be shot again" -
Software Idea: correlation between MicroShit updates vs number of rants on that date
guess that would give some interesting results -
I almost don’t dare ask, because my use of this didn’t go well at one employer, but does anyone use Pinegrow’s IDE for web development productivity? I used it a couple years ago and found it useful in speeding up development but couldn’t shake the feeling that it was another Frontpage or that I was cheating myself by using it.1
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Sleeps at 4AM
Wakes up at 1PM
My Mind: Ready to code again.
Also me: Why not learn to code with vim. I think it's about time
Vim: I dare you to exit Motherfucker4 -
Why do you ask “can you {do this/that}” when “no” is not an option? Why don’t dare dare to say “please {do this/that}”?
Yeah nah I’m still gonna say no. But fuck your hypocrisy too9 -
I don't know why people are complaining about windows updates while they can stop the update service from service manager. I did that wile I was using windows.
Moral of the story: I use linux. 😜 -
my brain is shit right now but I just open rust to tweak some little things and next thing I know I have a finished product and like 3 more ideas I could probably put in in the next 30 minutes but I didn't plan to be so productive so I'm a bit turned off frankly
I'm also not mentally tracking any of this
how dare it
I am upset4 -
When the final card is checked off and you realize the past year and a half has been spent making this absolute monster of a service. There really is no better feeling.
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Yesterday I was in a party. We were playing the truth and dare. Than suddenly my friend had given me the dare to go home. I laugh everytime whenever I think about this.2
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Lead developer tells me to hang tight while he works on an issue and investigates.
PM tells me to make more cards for this section and fix it while the lead developer works on the same exact part.
So... I guess I'll go take a 2 hour lunch?1 -
Come on, throw ANY foreign library or package at me, and I dare you, I double dare you mf, I'll turn your life into a shitshow!
~ Every frickin IDE ever -
Am I the only one who has 1 notification badge, not marking as read when entering the app and the notifications? That would be the most cruel april fools prank...1
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I'll fucking kill you bitch who the fuck made you the system administrator of this fucking college? The fuckery you do... god damn some students know more than you and you should agree to this fact. The previous sysadmin was knowledgeable and you are just a fucking worker in the finance department. You fucking dare not call yourself a sysadmin when you can't even read the fucking docs provided by the G Suite. At least you didn't make the mail server yourself otherwise god knows what the shit you'd have spread around.
FUCK YOU12 -
Who else is hitting up ludum dare this weekend?
I'm going to be cutting it fine with a late night dinner and jury duty but keen to get smashing in the morning1 -
What do you do when you don't feel like / can't get anything done? I couldn't focus at all. I feel like my brain is missing.3
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Could you guys give me advice on how to write good code?
(I'm mostly doing TypeScript and C++)
And what other languages should I learn?14
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