Client : pls put the disclaimer that the site uses cookies.
Me: but we don't use cookies this is a static page
Client: Still, the pop up makes the site look more professional, kindly add the feature asap
Me: :/

I have decided to learn how to fix the printer. Because it seems like it is the number one skill in demand..

Fair point

That's fair.

You devranters feed your cats too much

Me learning JavaScript
Step 1 console.log("hello world")
Step 2 change the devrant avatar t shirt to js

The only fair punishment 😈
(from r/ProgrammerHumor)

Free advice take it or leave it
A few days ago I completed my one year work anniversary(is that how it's said) at my first job. And this rant is basically stuff I learnt and stuff I wish someone had told me when I was starting out. Here goes:-

When you are starting out your first job you would be a fresh out of college and people around you in college are your friends where as people around you at work are colleagues. Your friends can like you, but you have to earn the respect of colleagues.

If you sit yo ass too long u will become fat(started going to the gym again).

Don't bother your seniors too much. they have their own shit to deal with.

Don't bring your personal shit to office I don't want to hear how cute your dog looked while it took a dump on your carpet.

Avoid the person who gossips.
It's a two way street.

Whatever you find amazing your boss may not you know coz you are a geek and your boss isn't.

Don't talk to people when they are coding.Yeah just don't.

Avoid "below the belt" humor you may look funny but you loose respect in the long run.

Keep upgrading yourself don't stop learning.

Admit stuff you don't know don't Bullshit.

To sum it up it's a game of respect, respect of knowledge,respect of skill and most of all respect of attitude.

Was at a friends place recently and he asked me to set a new WiFi password. Fair enough!
Me: what's the routers login?
He: Oo. No clue.
*me trying a few combinations*
*hmmm not working let's try one more time*
Router: you have entered the wrong credentials five times. Fill in a new password to regain access!

😵😨😧😱😷😲

Oh boy!

Time to apply for dev jobs!

Good thing HR is fair and just!

*submits résume*

"I'm sorry but you're not qualified. The programming language we use is listed last on your resume."

Welcome to HR Hell ladies and gentleman.

Someone's outlook wasn't connecting to a mail server.

Fair enough, colleague started debugging in the morning!

It worked fine on any client on linux/mac.

After a while the swearing started to come, for some reason outlook thought that the url used for incoming/outcoming email was offline, worked on any other system.

We all left him alone for the rest of the day.

At the end I walked to his desk aan went:
Me: hey man is it working already? *very sweet smile*
Him: *gives a death stare* fucking die 😡

😆😅

At an internship we had to make something and appearantly I learned php quite wrong at study so they decided that I'd have to pick a framework to program with.

Fair enough, a little research and I found one.

Held a presentation about the progress and mentioned the framework I used and everyone seemed quite impressed.

After the project someone came to me and asked me to take another look at that framework.

It appeared to be veeery fucking old, hardly documented and quite shit actually.

"so why did you choose it again?"

😁

Friend: Why do you always listen to metal music when coding?

Me: So that if non-programmers saw me smashing my keyboard, they will understand better why I did so.

Friend: Fair point.....

Okay okay here's another one

Client:pls put a pop up that asks the users weather they are sure about leaving the page.
Me: I think that would be redundant
Since he clicked the close button to close the page.
Client: what if he is unsure of leaving the page now he will stay.
Me: :/
Client:And another one when his login fails.
Me: pop ups can be disabled it's not good to use them especially for login screen.
Client (now slightly annoyed): Well,put a pop up warning them not to, isn't it obvious.God!!! I thought you were the smart one.
Me:;/

Wow, I dont use mainstreem languages, so my questions dont have that much upvotes.

Now I have a question-ban from stackoverflow :(

This isnt really fair...

Got a call from a recruiter today. (Keep in mind that using WhatsApp is about a requirement over here.)

R: so can I app you (I hate that word to the fucking point) with further details?
Me: *oh fuck this is gonna get me fucked again* uhm I don't use it so yah...
R: ohhh okay, security reasons?
Me: *slight relief* yes indeed, sir
R: oh fair enough, you can always just text and call me!

*very relieved feeling*

It's for either a cyber security or linux job by the way.

Today the inconceivable happened at the office. A rather attractive female colleague of ours asked if anybody could help her with a Java related issue.
Of course the majority of guys were more than willing to help.
A victor finally emerged. He went on to claim his prize by helping the fair maiden.
After a few seconds..."This is not Java. It's javascript'
I shit you not we just exploded in laughter 😂

1. A client asks a website.
2. Client pays 50% upfront.
3. I create the site on my server he gets no access.
4. I request rest of payment.
5. Client doesnt want to have the website anymore and tells me to keep the money and he nearly closes his business.

Happens to me 4th time so far.
Not fair.

Friend just asked me to quickly type some stuff he quoted. Fair enough, I like helping out!

"you'll have to do it on windows though"

Ah that's alright haha.

*types in word for 15 minutes, one page done*

(note: genuine word and windows 10 without bloatware etc etc)

*presses ctrl+s*
*clicks save as*

*computer freezes*

😓😨

*waits anxiously*

*computer unfreezes*

*phew*

*presses save as again*

*BLUE SCREEN*

MOTHERFUCKING PIECE OF FUCKING SHIT. SOMEONE PLEASE DESTROY THIS FUCKING SNAKE LICKING, DOG EATING, COCK SUCKING OPERATING SYSTEM.

FUUUUUUUUUCK.

First day on the phone as a support guy!
Before the first call came in I thought like 'please no email related issues as that's the one thing I suck at!'

Fair enough, first call:
Me: hello, how can I help you?
Customer: well, we've got this email problem...
Me thinking: MOTHERFUCKING FUCKING FUCK WHY ME 😭
Me: what seems to be the problem?

Damn, really?!

@Root has a code review.

CR comment: “Why would you do it this way? It’s awful. Clean it up!”

Totally fair. I had copied the legendary dev’s code, and it was ick. Cleaning it was easy and enjoyable. I cleaned the source, too.

CR comment: “Why would you touch this? It’s outside the scope of the ticket. You could get it working without changing all this.”

Revert…

CR comment: “The interfaces don’t match. Now it’s confusing, and that makes it harder to maintain.”

🤦🏻‍♀️

My lead developer left on vacation for a week. Without notice to my boss and/or myself.

Well to be fair we did have the minimum which is a 2 day notice....

So what did we do? Well the boss and I acted like absolute adults and did what any other adult would do.

Me sticky noted the fuck out of his desk and screens.

4 screens full of sticky notes.

Phone is full of sticky notes too. And geez man....everything is sticky notes....so...many....sitcky...notes

A user opened an issue on Github saying something doesn't compile. Fair enough, it didn't.

Another user comments saying "I have the exact same issue but after the program launches"

Bitch no, that's not the same issue. Not at all.

I prefer my coffee dark themed

Stack Overflow

A valid question making a fair point.
A valid answer with references and examples.

Both downvoted

Me, a 19 year old student at a meeting with a "potential new project" today:

Her: So, we would like a website where people could rent a conference room, and pay for it on the website. After they have paid, we want automated emails to go out to us and the person that rents the room. We basically want an automated rental system.
Me: Sounds fair, what kind of budget do you have in mind?
Her: Well because you are a student and you still live at home, we have a budget of about €200 (~$220). We thought it'd be fair because you don't really need an income yet.

At that point I slowly tried to fade away from the meeting... Please help me 😭

That sad moment when you realize that your salary is less than other employees, the most sad is you work harder and you have more skills.

Life is not fair.

We had a meeting whose agenda was to plan another meeting.

Coding has turned me into a nocturnal weirdo who talks to rubber ducks more than human beings.

I used ! important in my CSS ... I have sinned

Just to share how awesome are the computers from System76 (and the team also).
A linux war machine at a fair price.

Was running tests on a big project I'm doing which still contains a fair amount of bugs but I was sure that all thresholds would succeed and the test wouldn't fire an alert.

Ran the test: alert received any fucking way.

FUCK.

*checks rule*
*waaaait a second, I've set the threshold differently by accident...*

HOLY SHIT THIS MEANS IT WORKS 😵

*pats project* - "good project 😊"

>be me
>Get hit by a wave of depression
>Question the reason for your existence
>Open laptop start coding as a distraction
>Discover/invent/learn something new
Hey that's nice!!! (wait for the next wave of depression)

Today @ 4pm:

New dev: I need help with this issue, i've been stuck on it all day.

Me: ok let's look ...... ok, and did you try google this?

New dev: ... no

Me: ... why?

New dev: well this is clearly my issue, why would I google it? I only google for things I don't know

Me: ... ok ... we'll do you know what this bug is then?

New dev: haha ok, fair point, I'll give that a try. Thanks for the tip.

Seriously, should I be worried? I feel worried

Todays wtf:

My hometown's official website has a "report a problem"-form where citizens can report their problems. Fair enough, but instead of having some textfield(s) for me to describe the address and/or location they instead provide a dropdown-list with *all* possible addresses (street&number) in town... the html source of that page weighs in at about 4.5MB(!)

I just got told on a video meeting that I am far too pretty to be a developer.

To be fair, I am well aware of this, most devs I have met on the wild are some ugly ass motherfuckers.

I is a pretty ass mfker.

Just went to a bar in a nearby town and miraculously got a contact of a fairly big investor by talking to the barman there. Apparently said investor is also technically inclined, and has a fair amount of financial resources to help make my plan to make my own distribution and compete with Canonical, Red Hat and SUSE a thing.

Talk to barmen people! They're the people that have contacts - in pretty much every industry. They're the people that know people.

DevRant doesn't have any friend requests or follow buttons. If you're interested in someone, you need to do fair old school stalking.

Me:(kills the CTRL +S buttons saving something)
Boss: what are you doing ?
Me: nothing much, saving a document.
Boss: is that the best way to save it?
Me: no, it got saved the very first time, the rest is to convince my heart I saved it.

Boss: ... ... ... fair enough.

I'm tired all the time

I'm losing my fucking mind right fucking here.

Setting an anti-csrf token in the index.php file ONCE. Yes, I triple trillion checked, only fucking once.

Print it to the page as test, fair enough, looks good.

Send an ajax request to the server:
AN ENTIRELY FUCKING DIFFERENT TOKEN 😡

Fucking hell.

FUCK I hate StackOverflow! I get a -2 on an answer from 2 years ago, so I delete the answer, but the -2 remains. Fair enough, until you see the COUNTLESS approved edits that I have made (+2 rep) that get automatically removed when the question is deleted. I made an approved edit, I deserve the FUCKING rep!

That moment when your at a career fair and a non-tech recruiter won't hire you because you don't have the paper experience but the tech recruiter is questioning a guy with "5 years of Java experience" who can't answer what an anonymous inner class is.

The goal of one of my CS assignments was to learn about makefile, and during the last minute - literally while I was waiting for the professor to come over - I was just making everything presentable and getting rid of noise. I figured putting rm -r *.* in clean would be a good way to get rid of all the debug output.

To be fair, my project folder was indeed pretty clean afterwards.

Interviewer: Time limit for this exercise was an hour and you took 2 hours so you fail. Best of luck next time

Dev: Look I really don’t think your assessment has a very fair time limit. The only way you could do this in an hour is by knowing what the problem was beforehand and having all these niche utilities written ahead of time.

Interview: Oh yeah we had one guy that did that, he did the entire thing in only 45 minutes! We hired him immediately!

Dev: …

Somebody put milk in the tea kettle.

To be entirely fair, I'm sure nobody from here has ever seen a kettle, let alone used one.

Just when i thought i had met my fair share of stupid apis I find this.

To convert an int number to a string I do this:-

String s=10+"";

Storing passwords in plain text.

To be fair, it was a feature requested by the client, but still...

At least encrypt it man.

The best way to learn something is to teach someone...
If you learn a framework or a language or a tool u make sure u teach it to someone it helps u understand it better and someone else is also smarter

In the spirit of true randomness, I like to speculate about aliens. What’s your favorite theory about them? Anything’s fair game: whether they actually exist, methods of propulsion, origins, exobiology, exopolitics, eyewitness reports by credible reporters (pilots, military, air traffic controllers, high-profile political leaders, etc.) whether abductions are real and, if so, why they do it, etc. If you’ve had an encounter, I’d love to hear about it.

Another crappy job advertisement this time courtesy of Glassdoor: get spammed to death by job ads.

So it says graduate software engineer but they want someone with ideally 1 -3 years of B2 experience, seriously how is this fair?

Like with my other job ad rants:

What a fucking joke, lol

On today's episode of "my struggle with Android studio"
THIS HAPPENS

JIRA. Fucking JIRA. Everybody just fucking hates it. It tops the list of shit pieces of software by a fair margin, followed by JIRA in second place and JIRA in 3rd. It's fucking unusable without superpowers and endless patience. It does whatever it goddamn pleases and randomly sends your precious input that you so carefully crafted anxiously avoiding to press one wrong key to the happy hunting grounds.

Fuck you, JIRA.
- Every developer. Really every.

Walking in circles yeah I walk in circles when thinking

//begin midnight rant

THATS IT, I AM PISSED OFF NOW ABOUT THIS SNAPCHAT SHIT!!!

I DON'T GIVE A FUCK !!!

I DIDN'T GIVE A FUCK WHEN SNAP CHAT WAS INVENTED

I DIDN'T GIVE A FUCK WHEN WATSAPP COPIED ITS FEATURE(yeah I haven't seen your pathetic story)

AND I ALSO DONT GIVE A FLYING FUCK ABOUT THE SHIT ITS GOTTEN INTO NOW.

as a guy who is allergic to people I stay the fuck away from such apps.

but for God's sake get real u shit heads... Uninstalling an app is not an achievement worth bragging about( there is a drag and drop interface for it in ur Android phone)

Here is a guy who started his own company when he graduated from college and is providing employment to 100s of ppl and ur going to put that at risk just because your fragile ego was hurt because of "poor country " comment fuck u do your research that comment was made in 2015 when a monthly 1gb 3g internet would burn a hole in your pocket

Go screw yourselves u brain dead pieces of shit if u r so worked up about being called a poor country then start a company and provide jobs for the people who are struggling(why would you when uninstalling an app is so much easier).

Any one with 300 mg of common sense would have realize that the video would have difficulty in buffering in your slow ass 2g internet pack in your phone in 2015 when Jio sim was not yet introduced.

People like you are the reason I wish the super villains would win at the end of sifi movies.

I hope God(if there is one and if ever he decides to give a fuck) would give the guys who built this app the strength to get through this shit storm

PEACE OUT

//End of mid night rant

After the latest Android one update I found this. Not sure if it's a joke .

A company on my LinkedIn is looking for a Jedi programmer to hire again... I guess their first Jedi didn't fair so well.

This is the state of desktop computing: When a web browser uses twice more RAM than a full virtual machine.

To be fair, I did have 5 windows with >10 tabs each, but still...

Today's Google doodle is amaze ballz

It's official...my brain stops working @ 2:26 AM

Obviously this year. I went from KDE Neon (bloat ree) to Arch, learnt Git, Golang, vim, some JS, did my first major public project (asl), learnt how to package python stuff, did my first collab (private repo with a friend), did my first public collab (animator), made 225 contributions on GitHub (so far), won the "Most Technical" award in my Science Fair, went on climate protests, and sh*t-tons more.

And I joined devRant!

I'm excited for 2020!

Dear Android studio,
When u require an update please tell me u require an update.Do not pretend u can't open jdk folder or shit like that ...you could find jdk yesterday u can now
Sincerely
Me
(Frustrated insomniac)

DELETE FROM Invoices;

I am on test, right? OH SH!T

had a recent backup tho and no data were lost.

Happened once and never again. I was still pretty much junior in a senior position to be fair 😅

TLDR someone in my team took credit for work he didnt do;

I know teamwork is a good thing and when everyone does their share of the work, it is.

I submitted a computer science project to an event in the UK called the Big Bang fair, I was in a group of 3. We had been meeting every week after for the past 10 months. During these sessions me and uke have been meeting for 1h 30m where as oon could only meet for 1h because "he had stuff to do" and he never saw the point in staying longer. Oon had also been a massive distraction whilst the time he was there as he did no work and messed around on cookie clicker.

Anyway we found out last week that the Big Bang fair was coming very soon and we had not written a write up or done any preparation for the presentation we had to do. Me and uke set up a google doc and started adding stuff to it (as we only had a few days left at this point). Whereas oon did nothing.

I ended up staying up till 3am in the morning finalising the write up over the weekend with uke helping. We asked oon to help but he said he didnt want to stay up late so didnt help.

Then the most stressful 2 days come round. I devoted all of my free time towards the project, uke devoted most of his time and oon devoted 1 hour after school on one day. He said that he couldn't do one lunchtime but I found him in the ICT room playing games :/.

This didn't matter THAT much but what pissed me off is that he started boasting to all his friends about all the work I did and credited it as his own. At the actual event he said nothing during the presentation because he knew nothing about the project. HE DIDNT EITHER BOTHER TO READ THE WRITE UP HE WAS BOASTING ABOUT. What do people get out of taking credit for work other people did.

We didn't win anything and I wonder why

wow thanks for reading all this you deserve a sticker

I worked for months staying up till 3am almost every night in order to collaborate with a team on another time zone. No one ever praised me or thanked me or gave me a pat.

Yesterday two members of that team stayed up till 2am once for the first time in their lives to make a release. They got immediately labelled as the most dedicated employees.

Okay, sounds fair.

My biggest coding distraction are my imaginary friends

Opens pycharm
import time;
print(time.
*hits Ctrl+space*
>Auto complete not working
>Searches SO no answer
>Realized file saved as time.py
> Proceeds to contemplate career choice

int getRandomNumber() {
return 4; //chosen by fair dice roll.
}

I got told once that "You don't need pay if you love your job" - what kind of bullshit logic is that? ( I work as a volunteer programmer on a community project, but the game is for-profit and making a fair amount ). People these days...

My coworker told me today that since my birthday was this week I could take Monday off. I was so stoked before I realized Monday is Memorial Day.

Considering the shit I pull on this coworker and the future shit I will pull on him. I have to say it was fair enough.

🎶 Simple Plan - I'm just a dev 🎶

I woke up it was 7
I waited 'til 11
To figure out that no one would call
I think there are a lot of specs
I just haven't received them yet
They are the only thing that I really need to know
Because I can't find them on stack overflow
And here it goes

I'm just a dev
And life is a nightmare
I'm just a dev
I know that it's not fair
Nobody cares 'cause I'm alone
And the world is
Having more fun than me
Tonight

And maybe when the projects dead
I'll finally go to bed
But I'm staring at these four lines again
I'll try to think about the last time
That they were working fine
These things have business rules that I don't know
And they're gonna leave me here to figure it out on my own
And here it goes

I'm just a dev
And life is a nightmare
I'm just a dev
I know that it's not fair
Nobody cares 'cause I'm alone
And the world is
Having more fun than me
Tonight

`npx create-react-app blah`
`cdls blah && npm audit`

63 vulnerabilities.
good fucking job.

To be fair, they're all minor, but they're all *exactly* the same, caused by the same freaking package. Update your dependencies already!

------

`npm i --save formik && npm audit`
68 vulnerabilities, three of them critical.

ugh.

Flexible working hours, Home Office, fair compensation, working on a greenfield product 🥰.

I was in a bad spot two years ago jobwise and I don't regret jumping the ship for a second.

I would never have guessed that flexible hours and WFH would be so beneficial to my mental health!

Not everything is perfect all the time, but it gets pretty damn close all things considered.

Late one night I realize that Visual Studio has an update available.

> Might as well. Maybe they finally implemented that auto bug-fixer.

I download the update and it warns me that I must restart my computer. Fair enough, I was just about to shut down my computer anyways.

I turn off my computer for the night.

Boot up the next day, try to open Visual Studio.

It says to me: "No, I mean, you gotta RESTART. Not just re-start, or whatever shit you just did."

Ok. Restarted the machine.

devRant already replace SoundCloud as my orange app in the main screen...

To be fair, SoundCloud was just there to complete the rainbow.

Rant: this app told me that my rant would be safe if I closed the Post Rant window (since I can't post more than one rant per hour or something) but it didn't save my awesome tags! I feel betrayed.

I asked my friend to design a flyer for an organization's annual dinner, asking her to send me an invoice so I could pay her (I can't design worth shit, she's doing me a huge favor).

She said she'll do it, declined payment, and doesn't even want me to get approval for her to put it in her portfolio...

How the hell do I pay her back for her work? If we lived in the same town, I'd at least take her to coffee and lunch, but she moved states and I moved countries :(

Doing a distribution center job right now just to pay the bills and had to do voice order picking (with a headset and voice commands etc) today. Well, that didn't go ideal:
*girl walks by and gives me a tip/hint*
Me: *puts headset back on*
Headset voice: you've logged off. Truck could not be located by provided ID.

😓😮

I said "fair enough, thanks!" 😐

"Jury finds Google's implementation of Java in Android was fair use."

Phew!

AMAZING MIDNIGHT BREAKTHROUGH!!!
In Android studio if u disable the enable frame check box of the avd and select the graphics option to hardware the avd works a bit faster...even in a system with 4gb ram 🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌

There is this group called LUKI e. V. that advertises using linux at church instead of windows. First of all, I think it is a horrible idea because the people working at the church, based on my personal experience, can barely operate windows. Windows is just the better and easier to use option for people who don't know much about computers.
Also, and this is where it gets hilarious, their main argument for switching to linux is that it is a "fair" software (as in fair trade). How? I don't think Microsoft devs are underpaid child slaves. And even if so, how would you change that with a software alternative that doesn't cost anything?

My ex-cat stretching out. This should be in a vanity fair issue for cats

Oh, boy, do I hate recruiters...

So today I attended a Job fair, which mentioned it will be 'walk-in' interview for every company present there, only to find out they were mass recruiters, FUCK ME.

1. Write answers on the back of your resumes.
2. Group interview

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK!!!

On point number 2, HOW THE FUCK DO YOU ANALYZE SKILL OF A FUCKING CROWD OF 20 PEOPLE ALL TOGETHER!!!!???

Top of that I paid for this shit! I can hope for only the best now.....

Look, I've given Microsoft and Windows a lot of shit, but I just have to be fair and say the one piece of hardware that I absolutely covet is the Surface Pro... If that is the direction Microsoft is heading in the coming years I'll have a lot more respect for them...

I'm sick to death of hiring people from other companies and explaining GitFlow and why its useful (what are you people doing?).

Then watching them doing it wrong, pointing out its easier to use something like sourcetree. Which leads to "... well see, the terminal is just more efficient, tools like sourcetree are bloated".

Ok fair enough, well heres the deal i'll make with you, while using your "efficient tool", stop breaking our workflow and i'm fine for you to keep using it. Otherwise, stop being a dick and be a team player.

Being sick absolutely deleted what bullshit I can tolerate

- Searching through feed of jobs
- See 999$ Job with description "*platform* forced me to put a budget, but it's not fixed, tell me your quote and what's fair"
- Quote X$ with Y$ interview cost
- Get a message, write and then get the budget "I got offered 10$, 40$, .. if you can do it for 75$ it's a deal!"

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME, THAT'S WHAT THE FUCKING BUDGET IS FOR, WHY PUT 999 IF YOU KNOW YOU CAN'T SPEND MORE THAN 75 WTF?

Searching for a Google Home on Amazon returns an Amazon Echo... I mean, fair enough. 😂

This sucks. I'm on a call in < 1 minute, but my technical team guy c n take 25 minutes to call in to tell us that he'll be ready to help in another hour.

How is this fair to my customers?

Me: "You could try using Redis, cache that baby and try and squeeze some speed"
Dev: "Hun?! Should I use it on the front end or the back end?"

Well... Webdev is not his thing to be fair!

How do working professionals find time to learn new tech? Work all weekdays... Shit tired on weekends this happens for few months and suddenly kids are b building ai and stuff and u just feel dumb.. how do you guys do it? How do you stay on top of the game?

Exams of two weeks starts tomorrow. We'll be doing a project. Only, 70 percent will be documentation :/. I'm trying to keep my nerves, fair of failure and everything else as low as possible but that's not particularly working anymore 😞

A rubber duck plugin for all ide that reminds the programer to drink water ( I usually forget to drink water while coding) and more than a few errors it should pop up automatically

Crushed my first week at the new job. I'm not a software engineer yet, but it's a QA job with a fair amount of test automation, so lots of programming and another step toward my goal.

I just made a quick throwaway business card to give with my resume during a job fair Friday at my college. Hopefully it helps me stand out a little bit more.

Sorry for the blurry photo. Took it on phone. I’m fixing spacing before I export and print

Just received a test for a job I'm interviewing for. I was interviewing for a C++ position. Practice test: Create an REST API using SpringBoot, Spring Data, document with Swagger and implement continuous integration testing.

To be fair, I also mentioned I'm fluent in Java. But I've never touched SpringBoot or done any backend webdev, since my intention was to never get near it.

Deadline: Sunday. Game on...

Now I have to wear a stupid shirt, go to my stupid office and tolerate stupid people.

*Ciiiirrrrcle of lifeeeeeee

Woah Google, not fair!
Right when I need to learn for my exams, you release Golang 1.12.

When you laugh at people who crack their phone screens, and then you drop yours face down on asphalt and your screen shatters. Life is fair sometimes

I wish I was one of those brain dead sheep that study hard, fall in love, take selfies, get a job , go clubbing, get married, attend cocktail parties and make more brain dead sheep....

I've come up with my fair share of dev pickup lines over time. I'm particularly proud of this one.

Thanks for the stickers guys and for my first international mail

why do i feel like sOfTwArE cErTifiCaTiOnS are the biggest scam in the world

literally zero prediction of the quality of work you will produce, cuz you could float through them anyway

i guess even more 🤡 is companies that request certain "certifications"

correct me if i'm wrong; are there certifications of the equivalent rigor like the fundamentals of engineering (fe) exam? in this sense, our industry is far behind... though to be fair 90% of software is non life / operational critical like building a freaking bridge is

What happened to the warm welcome that new users received back in the day? Now when someone posts their first rant people bash on details and give them no chance. I remember posting half-dumb rants, but no one gave me shit for that. It takes time to grow into a community, you can't just expect people to behave identically to the rest. Makes me a bit disappointed to be fair.

So, according to my customer, the internal app I just released is "far too aggressive and not overly polite to users".

After querying this the client was referring to validation error messages.

Where I've wrote "Set a payment method before creating the order", the client would prefer it to be ""Please set a payment ...".

I guess it's a fair enough observation, but the client's phrasing made me chuckle :)

I'm on this fair and there are suits walking almost everywhere!

Even in the "Tech" area.

Like 'a-bit-to-confident' ducks with their heads up in the cloud exposing their throat while walking right into my sharp blade. Inexorable stumbling headless right over the edge of the next bridge, hitting the rails with their rubies. Helpless, waiting to get caught by the next hype-train.

*sigh*

Vanity Fair could do with a CSS dev

Focus? What focus? Its easier for me to define what ISN'T my focus. I don't do web UI/UX. Pretty much anything else is fair game.

Accepted a feature request that practically doubled the workload without asking for more money, on account of trying to be fair to a customer who was working through a translator.

Only to get stiffed on 3/4 of the money agreed to in the first place.

Only saving grace was everything was on my servers, so I took him down for non-payment.

*making payment online*

Website: Your bank wants to verify something. Redirecting to their page

Me: fair enough

Bank: we are increasing security by sending you a security code via text...
*bank redirects me before I can finish reading*

Website: payment successful

Tf kinda security is that???

"I have a great idea for a messaging app.
But I can't tell you what it is until you agree to make it for me, I can't pay you right now but I'll pay you back when we make tonnes of money!"

My startup idea: you create apps for people with bad ideas and the fees on a 1 year 'loan' with high penalties for failing to pay. Fair right?

To be fair, it's not really unprofessional. But two weeks ago we recorded a theme song for our company in an empty office room. Though I shouldn't complain, I love doing those kinda things :)

I went to every career fair in college. Every semester I dressed up, redid my resume, and went like a champion desperate for work. Last fall I went, and only gave one resume. As I was leaving, I turned back after a question popped into my mind. Watched the recruiter put that resume in the trash. Worlds worst recruiter.

Ok, just built my first hello wold using react and after installing node babel react etc... The resulting folder is 51.7mb big. Makes me wonder what am I doing with my life why should I do this. what's the fucking point of it all.
Don't get me wrong I like react and I think it's really cool, but what is all this going to achieve at the end "build a website to sell rubber poop" like wtf... some company wants to sell shit and some monkey with an MBA is going to set the deadline and add Features. No one understands the shit we go through no one cares and we just build websites and Android apps... maybe there is no point here maybe there is nothing.
I remember when coding was fun now it's just building highly responsive web/Mobile based IT solutions to clients who wouldn't know a good website if it fucked them in the ass

Dear DevRant,

This ain't fair 💔

Customer: Does your program do everything I specified in that mail from 2 months ago?
(btw the mail was 5 sentences...)
Me: Yes.
Customer: And does it do xyz?
Me: No, but to be fair, you did not specify that!
Customer: But that's what I've got you for! You should have known that!

🤦🏻‍♂️

We as developers often get a lot of pressure considering the deadline for $someProduct™.

But sometimes it happens to me that I need less than half of the estimated time for development of $randomFeature or $product™.
Do you think it is fair to (rarely) procrastinate a bit in order to not show your boss that it needed much less time, so he will not lower his time estimations for future stuff?

!dev

i made some dice for displaying health, when playing Magic the Gathering.
They're not exactly fair, but you also don't roll them. I ordered the numbers in a way, so whenever you loose or gain health, you don't need to look for the next/previous number, since it's always nearby.

They're made using a resin printer and painted with oil based lacquer.

Almost like interview.....
At project fair..
Q. Which language you use.
Me. Python
Q. Why.
Me. Explained
Q. Why you not use Java?..
Me(in mind): ###############

int getRandomNumber(){
return 4;//chosen by fair dice roll
}

me after seeing a completely warranted and fair criticism about the framework i use

“You know what is not fungible, scarce and valuable to me? My time! So if you wish to persuade me NFT are a good thing, you should pay me a fair amount of real money to make me listen your bullshit”

From now on this will be my standard reply to NFT harassment.

Feel free to use, edit and share with others.

Neglecting JavaScript

so... while this may not be *my* code, I do have to claim a fair share of the responsibility for allowing it to exist. o.o

I'm busy fixing it now though.

> note: proprietary names have been blurred, naturally.

We are forced to work on weekends because the management and the project manager loves to kiss the ass of our clients. I was even scolded by working from home.

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK.

ITS NOT FUCKING FAIR THAT WE HAVE TO SUFFER AND SHOULDER THEIR INCOMPETENCE IN MANAGING THIS FUCKING PROJECT.

Damnit. God Damnit.

When u see Bullshit u r supposed to call it Bullshit not organically digested grass.
Thank you for your time

I didn't have a job during week 15, but I have one now! My favorite desk item: a picture of a dinosaur riding a bicycle, which I picked up at a craft fair this weekend.

... Do you think my coworkers can tell I like cycling?

The guy thinks I'm her friend but I deeply hate her !
Just because she thinks she knows everything but she is actually an idiot !
Last term I was in her team for the c++ project (she fooled me ! I thought she is advenced !!) And guess what?
I ended up doing the whole project myself ! (Not fair at all but she got the score cuz of me)

I really don't need enemy so I'll just stay away from her :/

Will be having first experience as a interviewer.
I pledge that I will ask practical and fair questions and pull the best out of the candidate.

!rant

Sometimes I feel weird because the homeless people on the subway asking for money look more put together than me.

To be fair, those who aren't on the subway look very homeless.

Neither take credit cards though.

I'm just confused.

punk: the world is not fair, and I hate it
post-punk: the world is not fair, and I love it
ska: the world is not fair, and I have a trumpet

Priscilla Chomba in her TEDx talk "A free and fair internet benefits" said the following:

"We need to actively and collectively ensure that going forward, everyone has access to a free, fair and feminist internet."

How do you make the internet feminist? Call it La Interneta?

Okay so my ticket got rejected because the on screen texts are not in the correct case (upper/lower). Totally fair because nowhere in the spec are those texts defined. As a developer I am also responsible for what "makes sense" for the user.

I'm just gonna say this next time I ask for a raise.

Underestimating the stupidity of clients. Had to build a web app again

Once mentored a high school student for a science fair relating to robotics. It was definetely interesting having to relearn many things so I could teach them well but it was definetely worthwhile! I couldn't be prouder of the work my student (mentee, pupil, ??? Idk how else to say it lmao) achieved. He won several awards for the project, even some scholarships!!

To be fair I'm actually grateful for Windows 10! If it had never frustrated me the way it did I wouldn't have seriously tried out any linux distro as a daily driver 😂

My first dev job evolved from an internship and ended with me screaming “fuck” at people for a few months until they finally got sick of it and gave me the boot. It was a fair call 😂

Normal person:what do you in front of laptop all day?
Me: I try to cushion the fatal blows of reality

On the university we made a robot using Lego, which communicated on bluetooth with a tablet. We wrote a smile detector using opencv for the tablet. On the tablet you saw the view of the front camera. And when you smiled into the camera, the tablet notified the Lego robot which gave you a chewgum. The purpose of this project was to demonstrate on a fair what our robotics group did. People really liked it. 🙂

Whenever I want to type the shrug emoji, I copy it from a Google note ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I can type emojis just fine, enjoy a 🍓, yet there is a clear lack of accessibility for ASCII-emojis input on any device.

How is this fair!?

PS: I do know that this shrug is actually utf8 and not ascii. But that's beside the point. Also try saying “utf8 emoji” three time in a row.

In a meeting, we made some pretty major adjustments to a dev server. We broke it. Under pressure, I cracked and I randomly forgot the syntax for a sql update statement that might’ve at least got it back semi-online. To be fair, it’s been several years since I’ve needed any sql. Thank goodness I grabbed a snapshot as soon as I realized things were about to get edited. Saved. 😁

A fellow student decided to apply to the federal police, after talking with then at a job fair on the campus. The police strongly stated that they had a high demand for new people.
He did not get an answer for the next two months - not even an acknowledgment - so he quickly found another job in the mean time.

After the two months he got an answer stating that the application deadline was over now and it would be great if he'd come for a job interview. Unsurprisingly he declined..

Is it fair to say that my professor is unprepared to teach if he refuses to use visual studio 2017 in favor of 2010, which may be unable to open my 2017 projects? I'm guessing not, since it's his class, but the Syllabus doesn't mention the class using such shitty technology. I honestly refuse to download VS 2010 until my grade depends on it.

Every new front end framework these days, i remember the time when I used bootstrap through cdn link... Yup those were the good old days

!rant

Coworker: I yelled at Sony for the PS3 having 7 USB ports... I said that devices only need 2 USB ports. But now, I have this laptop here that has two USB ports and I'm yelling at it! So who's the hypocrite?

Me: You?

Coworker: Sony. Though to be fair, this laptop was made back before we really needed a lot of USB ports. Keyboards and mice were PS/2.

Me: What about printers?

Coworker: They have printer cables....

Me: WHICH ARE USB!

Coworker: ....Oh yeah...

Some people have interesting, cool or exciting lives and I know u are fascinated by them... U may even fall in love . but do remember that u r an insignificant troll who is good at doing one complicated job and whose significance cannot be comprehended, appreciated or understood by the said fascinating people. So go back to your cave do the shit u usually do coz u have a deadline to meet.
-the voice inside my head

University decided we have to use Wolfram Mathematica with instructions how to *cough* find it *cough* for free. I was really annoyed with this, because I didn't want to "find it" so I stumbled upon SageMath and it's working good enough. I get pissed when somebody tells me I have to pirate software (I'm no saint, I've done it before), it's not fair to students who don't have 100$ to throw at a software they'll use for 3 months and never again probably...

Human-robot studies suck.

Like, why do I even have to compare dumbass humans to computers? Or why should I even make my robot human friendly? Why can't humans be robot friendly? Example: Robot says beep, you get out of the way. Why should the poor robot do so much planning because humans are too stupid to move out of the way? How is this fair?

I'm at a career fair! Wish me luck, devrant!

!dev

Is there any other place in this world besides Switzerland where you get a fucking fine of ~ $40 for driving ONE bloody km/h too fast??? It’s about 0.7mph.. (after subtracting tolerance to be fair)

In other countries I drive they wouldn’t fine at all because it’s not worth the effort..

Firefox by far :)

At least as a program I start up my self.

I do use a fair number if other to but no other comes close.

A client asks me to produce a Release note when publishing a new version, which is more than fair ask, I shall deliver.

Then he asks me questions on the version's feature which are clearly described in the release note, with examples, showing he did not bother to read it..............

...

Completely useless.
Well to be fair...
I studied after I already worked as a software dev for a few years, so I already knew most of the stuff.
Most of the time I just pointed out mistakes of the profs.
I still completed it, but I've never used the degree at all. Not even for my recent interview. I did not even put it on my CV. And I still landed the job.

I think that practical experience is way more valuable than having a CS degree. (Apart from CS research/academic positions)

Is angular 1x still a thing? I feel like it's a really good front end framework but it's it used widely today?

So I've got the highest average grade in computer in my level. Yet just because I haven't represented the school, I couldn't receive the "Best in Computer" award

Am I the only one bothered by the way devRant ( and to be fair also Twitter) previews images?

It just kinda crops some unknown up front amount of edges. It's annoying in and of itself, but also directs viewer focus to some arbitrary part of the picture, and you can't unsee it even after opening the whole thing...

Is there really no better way to handle the issue of size? How can that be a good UX ??

So yeah, despite the technological advancements at present. Paying a lot of money just to have an internet connection with a maximum speed of only 5mbps, and having no connection during the evening.

if you know how the code works is it fair to say that you have written it

My boss called my team for a meeting, where he pointed out the difference between "doing what we can" and "doing our best".
He later said he was dissatisfied with our lack of commitment with our latest, biggest project , and expected an improvement.

That would be all fair and well, were it not for the fact that, because of his delivery date of said project, we returned home four times. In the previous two weeks.

Fair enough..

QA: There is a problem
Me: Ok how do I reproduce it?
QA: You do x
Me: I have done x and there isn’t a problem
QA: Oh it only happens sometimes
Me: Fair enough, I’ll try a few times
...
Me: Are you sure x is how you do it?
QA: Oh no actually it’s y

FML

My first experience with computers was when I was in school when i was in third grade we had a computer lab and we had to take our shoes off to "prevent virus" that's what we were told anyway...
There were 10 computers and 50 of us so the one who could run to the lab first would get the computer where we learnt something called as logo and while the teacher wasn't looking we would play a game called Dave. man this shit takes me back

Wait, What!

Fresh Grad job fair.

Looking for computer programmers with 3 years experience.

*seriously company how can you expect to get an applicant with 3 years experience in this fair 'insert confuse gif here'

is it fair to say linux is the most popular operating system kernel?

i mean, it powers android, the most popular mobile os, chrome os, nearly all servers, raspberry pi’s, embedded devices and linux desktop operating systems. it has the be the most popular kernel, right?

"Our app needs a barcode scanner"
Fair enough, let's do this!
Android implementation using Zxing: 3 days. Ios: 9 days...
1. Dev iPhone has a subtle hw defect that doesn't let it connect to the computer anymore...
2. Our app-framework doesn't have a proper plugin for ios barcode scanners yet.
3. The first barcodescanner implementation is completely broken
4. Swift is not possible because of conflicting framework plugins
5. Build a plugin from scratch, using zxing objective c port.
6. Build problems with main app.
7. Fuck my life

Developing on Android and came across an issue that only seemed to be happening on one of our devices.
A fair bit of time was spent trying to figure out why the hell one resource (image) wasn't available even though it was clearly there in the project and was working on all other devices.

Turns out the image in question was in the drawable-v24 folder on accident so of course wasn't working on the one device running Android version 21 🤦 at least it was an easy fix

Eclipse Mars and Firefox

Nintendo is way too fucken serious about their intellectual property..

This book probably has the most accurate prediction of our future and it was written in 1953

Today I had a call that could've easily been two lines in an email.
The call was only 5 minutes to be fair.

Getting ignored at a career fair once they know you go to a college rather than a university 🙄

Block chains, i think distributed databases is going to go big.

Talked to a company at my schools career fair and got an interview the next day for a summer internship position. The interview went well and they said they would get back to me within a week. I don't hear from them so assume they weren't interested. A full year later I get a rejection email saying that we would not be continuing the recruiting process

Not a rant, but a question.

Why is their so much fear of Google and Microsoft misusing information they collect?

What proof is there of this (provide references and cases, for a proper argument)?

What would you have these companies do to resolve the issues you brought up above?

I'm sorry if I seem ignorant, I'm genuinely unaware of all this. I'm willing to learn provided it's a fair analysis.

What is an average/fair entry level salary(US) for a developer?

we are organizer of really big trade fair and wanted to place a new product. It was a landing page for exhibitors especially for the fair, the exhibitor would get a subdomain with his company name. This landingpage had some highly requested features such as a calender for scheduling meetings, some floorplan features and other stuff... long story short: not a single exhibitor booked it. it was just trash and huge waste of time. dont get me wrong, this was actually a really great idea but the endproduct just sucked... now 4 resignations later we may start a new try :D

wish i would be a more passionsted ranter/writer... i have a ton load of such things i could rant about... but most of the time i get my consolation by reading your rants here.

obligatory: fuck, shit, cunt

Teachers. We put so much effort in learning, I think it's only fair that you know what you teach. You are supposed to simplify our learning process not make it worse. We don't need a lecture hour to read your ppts.

Fuck chrome.

You're asking why I am so fucking angry at this piece of software? Well because I was awake at night for 3 hours reinstalling my mail system because I thought the Web UI was broken due to a corrupted database. Guess what - the caching of chrome caused the buttons to silently hide beneath the header of the UI. Hahahahahakillmehahah

To be fair, this could have happened with every browser. But since everyone is on the "anti-google" trip anyway, I'm gonna switch to Firefox 🙃

People really have short term memories. It seems everyone has suddenly forgotten the nonexistent lack of privacy at Zuck’s platforms.

To be fair, I think competition is good for consumers and Musk has been doing a very terrible job of managing Twitter.

But not having most platforms of social communication controlled by one company would be better.

my 16 GB mac book pro is starting to struggle just having vs code running... FML

to be fair I've turned it off a total of perhaps 100 hours since I've gotten in 2019ish 💀

Tried bumble. It was lame. It would not let me make a profile without a photo. Supplied a rough drawing of myself. It felt betrayed so it nagged constantly about a photo even while I was trying to delete the damn app.

I do absolutely hate when apps feel entitled to my info. Like, it's okay to ask, but I also feel better about deleting your app than downloading it. Fair is fair I guess. But also... It's not fair that these lame apps get so much revenue either.

So what other apps should I try for finding friends locally?

If I made an app where you keep password hints so you can remember the password yourself, is it fair to say the encryption is your memory?

Got absolute worse hair style today,
Had long hair with stubble (like Jesus)
Went to saloon and said surprise me , and oh well he did ...

It’s only fair to update the avatar

One of our developer told that my code is ugly to our project manager. And my response was 'I know right! By the way your code also sucks. Fair enough.'

Ohhh yea bois we won the clippers STEAM fair competition 1st place :p

Why did we move away from CLIs?

I wonder if there's been any research into wether memorising keywords is more of a load than remembering where to point and click. But to be fair, once the foundations are there, GUIs can be pretty intuitive.

I'm not sure what I'm talking about anymore.