A few years ago when I was still an apple fan boy, friend of mine bragging me about how android is awesome, we were drinking some shots at our local pub and I was starting to get light headed. At one point he showed me so called "terminal emulator" app. I checked it out, and assumed it's an emulation, just like dosbox, so I decided to verify that "rm -rf *"... (the phone was rooted)

The phone shutdown within seconds, I couldn't stop laughing, while my friend was shock that his new phone was longer booting.

Luckily he managed to reflash the ROM. What can I learn from that experience?
1. Don't drink and sudo
2. Don't call your app an emulator if it's the real deal.

100% Real. And it's not even the worst on the site.

The mobile web version of GitHub is absolute garbage. It's so shitty I don't even get why they bother. It lacks basic features like issue searching and the interface is so dumbed down everything just feels cheap and I always feel like I'm missing out.

All the devs I've talked to say they always just select "show desktop version." I do that too. It works perfectly. It's so fucking annoying. I wish they would just make a real mobile version, that's not missing features, or just default to the desktop app on mobile - works fine and everyone uses it anyway.

My boyfriend.

He's an amazing software developer, has a few more years of experience with me, and because he's not a colleague, I feel comfortable asking him dumb questions. Combined with his patience and willingness to explain things very thoroughly, it's helped my post college learning immensely.

I love that I can cook him dinner, and then go to him with a code smell that I found at work, and spend the meal discussing ways to make cleaner code. I'm not sure who the real winner is in that situation. Probably my employer, haha.

When the customer says that he knows how to write the code.
(BTW it's real)

!rant

I've always wanted to son to enjoy the the same feeling I get when I'm developing. Today my son pulled up a chair next to me and started asking questions about my code, it's safe to say I got those proud dad feels.

Feels good man, feels real good.

BOSS: That icon is not centered, move it slightly to the right
ME: You're wrong, I can garantee you it's centered (it was centered)
BOSS: Well, my eyes are telling me it's not, so move it to the right
ME: (faking increasing margin)
ME: Ok, now it's 10 px to the right, what do you think?
BOSS: it's a great result, now it's perfect! Cant you see the difference?
ME: Absolutely, you do are the real designer here...
BOSS: Ohhh, stop complaining, you'll learn one day...
ME: Yep.

>22 year old college student
>Apply for a QA internship
>Interview goes well,they see I have plenty of experience and doubt it's real
>Hard questions are thrown
>Answer them and they admit the position is for manual testing

I honestly don't care I need the money, plus manual testing doesn't usually strain me.

>A week goes by
>A month goes by
>Call them
>...Sorry we were looking for someone with less technical and dev experience.

My fucking face when I don't have a title, still overqualified, fighting with WordPress devs on freelancer.

Guy: dot net dev (C#) on windows. (desktop + server)
Team(not his team, he just happened to sit next to us): php/frontend devs and Linux (server) people.

Team: starting a new project! We'll have to see what framework to use and what server :D
Guy: i know it's none of my business...... but I'd recommend dot net and windows server!
Me: respectfully, that hardly makes sense, you know our skillset/field... i understand that it works for you but it doesn't really for us :).
Next to that we'd rather not use windows for security reasons.

It's fine if that happens once.

When it happened for the 1748472823'th time, I had a real hard time controlling myself.

It's funny because this is real :-/

Real Chat with new female friend.

Me : what are you studying now?
she : First year of MBBS
Me : that's nice. Generally boys/girls take admission in engg and commerce.
she : yuk. I hate engineer's and engineering specially that PC worm's(soft engg).
Me : k
She : what are you studying?
Me : soft engg
she : I didn't mean it.
Me : it's ok

-_-

WTF man

Please stop recommending arch. For real. Stop!

Let's back up. I'm an arch user. Have been for years. I love arch! Like hardcore! But for real, cut it out.

Either they didn't ask and you're being obnoxious or they probably asked "what's a good distro to learn?" Or "Ubuntu holds my hand too much, I want something more consoley" either way, arch is not the answer. Arch is a distro for us stuck up types who like spending all day fixing dependency errors, changing our WM every other week, debating the merits of X vs wayland, and acting better than everyone else.

But here's the thing: I found arch because I wanted something that I could compulsively configure and get really in the weeds. I think most arch users feel that way to some degree. You kinda have to if you want to not be miserable. But many Linux users aren't like that. And that's fine! Let them use mint, or Debian. So they never change their DE. Cinnamon is a great interface! Gnome 2 is totally fine! There's literally nothing wrong with being content with sane defaults and not manually installing every package, and having scheduled releases from a stable source.

Do you tell 7th graders "if you really want to get better at algebra, you should try calculus. You really gain a deep knowledge of math!" No! They will get there when they are good and ready! Or not. It's not a beginner distro. In fact (controversial opinion ahead) it's pretty shitty at being a distro. I have used arch for years! But I don't recommend it to anyone. Because if you want to configure a box for literally 100s of hours (it's never really over is it?), Then you aren't asking anyone about distro recommendations. You've tried them all. You've heard of arch. You been to /r/unixporn.

Stop acting better than everyone else and stop telling people it's better than <other distro here>. It's not. It's different. Very different. And it's not for everyone.

WTF Python!!! "Master" and "Slave" perfectly convey the concept. In the English language many words have different meanings based on their context. It's plainly obvious that no allusion to human slavery is meant in the context of software or hardware module relationships. I don't even think it is problematic. The real problem seems to be the people who are taking terms outside their intended space. Why are we linking a scar on human history to terminologies explaining technical relationships?

Then lets also ban 0 and 1 because it can offends non-binary peoples!

Mutual on Tumblr: So what distro do you use?

Me: Zorin OS. I really like it. I'm even considering deleting my windows partition.

Mutual: Really? That doesn't count as a proper distro. Real Linux users only use Zorin on a virtual machine. Use Mint or Kali or something.

Me: It counts. It's not different from any other distro.

Mutual: It's okay to be noob. You can always ask me for advice.

Me: But I've been using Linux for about two years. I don't consider myself a noob.

Mutual: If you're using a shitty distro, then you're a noob.

Me: Okay. Thanks for the advice. (In my mind: fuck off already.)

I don't understand the issue with Zorin OS. Is it because it looks like windows or something? :/

I saw this in a rant a few minutes ago and I had to verify if it was real.
It's real.

Education courses nowadays be like,

- Website Development Course @ $49.99
- Security in website Development @ $45.99

Combo offer @ $60.99
=> Hurry up, LIMITED PERIOD OFFER!!!!!

// Like for real??? Why don't you include Security in website Dev course, it's a part of it.

I'm impressed about how everyones english among DevRant is nearly flawless - it's users are based all around the globe and still, I know nobody in real life who is even near fluent in speaking English (fellow German potatoes will probably know that feel)

Awesome! 😀

I'm all for geeky, feminine clothing, but surely they could have consulted a real developer before putting Javascript on a BSOD-blue/old-school-console-development-blue blue dress? It's like having a shirt that says "I love tacos" with pictures of sushi. Similar, but just wrong.

Random fact #0

Back in the days of SEGA Saturn, SEGA was really picky in terms of the game stability. All the games that we're about to be released had to pass a series of tests, like for instance they had to run for almost a week without any crash non stop on a real hardware, or withstand cartridge tilting. If it failed, SEGA wouldn't license it and developer had to fix the bugs and re-send it again.

To fool SEGA testers, game devs we're adding exception screens with the fake "hidden content". Like in Sonic 3D Blast, it presented a screen in the image below and then the level select screen.

So yeah, it's not a bug - it's a feature

Hopefully the last part of my job hunting for now! Had a good call with the boss and heard from the recruiter that I'm the preferred candidate because we had (the boss and I) a real 'click'.

It's now between me and one other person.

Man I am nervous! Will hear it today or tomorrow!

So I hear Christmas is coming, right? Here's a christmas tree for you!

P.S. this is the real thing. It's a Java project we have to work with... For Christ's sake! The guy who wrote this has recently left the company and handed this code to us as his legacy.

fuck.

Germany

It's:
"oh cool. you must have good job perspectives."

Or:
"you just use a computer. that's not real work. do a job where you use your muscles. lazy student."

And the best:
"Can you gift me with computer parts for free" or "can you copy program XY for me? It cost to much."

it's a real thing

Although I know it's nothing, the irony is real.

My room is connected to the power group together with 5 other people.

Watching a mass surveillance documentary.

Suddenly my power goes out, the rest stays on.

I know it must be a glitch in the newly installed power management system but damn the timing couldn't be better!

stole this from somewhere...

I just completed my first real website people will actually use and I'm so proud.

It's a great feeling.

After 2 years of working as a Linux admin, and over 6 years of using Linux as my only OS, I left my job, installed Windows and started a new, better paying and more perspective carrier as a .Net developer ... It's been 6 months, and I still miss the terminal ... I've been trying to get over it by using Babun and the Linux subsystem for Windows ... The thing is ... even though they are great, they are not as good as native stuff and the knowledge that it's not the real deal still haunts me :(

TL;DR: Left Linux 6 months ago ... still miss it to this day ... doubt I will ever get over it :( Feels bad guys

Was asked to check the sales team server as it was running slow.
Apart from redundant processes and users with too much permissions I found a "Cobol" folder under one of the sales team member's home folder.

If it weren't the sales people I would immediately disregard this as trolling but with them it's quite possible that this is a real attempt to learn programming...
...most likely from the facebook ads with the hooded guys that offer to teach you to code in 10 days for $800.

It's here 😀 Now I can resume testing my projects peacefully on real device instead of that crashing Android emulator. I still miss my Nexus 6P.

Dear "managers,"

Stealing credit for something you have not done is real theft.

When I come up with an idea and a detailed outline of how to build and deliver it, you do not get to say "oh I also had this idea." You did not. How could you? It uses tech you don't even know exists.

When I then proceed to build the whole thing on my own without any of your inputs (then again, you have no idea of how it works, what would you bring to the table), you don't get to parade my project in front of the board not even mentioning my name.

You see, it's not the first time you pull that off, you have taken full credit for every thing.

it's not just my wee feelings getting hurt for lack of recognition: it has real world consequences.

You get the promotion, you get the salary raise and you now live in a flat with a balcony and a view, while my wife and I share a studio as my salary has not budged.

You're a cunting thief, I hope your mom dies.

Best,

X

Oh my word, shut up everyone about the ESC key. In interface design do you keep something around that 1% of your user base uses, or do you make something better? It's not even gone. It's on the touch bar for fricks sake.

And while we're talking about it, stop calling Apple so innovative. Innovation at Apple died with Steve Jobs. "We developed this awesome new iPad Pro!" it's just a bigger iPad with the same stupid limitations of all iPads. If you want a real portable work tablet, go buy a Surface. "We added a touch bar to the MacBook Pro!" some manufacturers of Windows laptops have had that thing for years!

😰

As a frontend dev, i love watching our backend devs sometimes go like "hey come on it's just css I can do it real quick, let me do it this time" and get super frustrated with failure. Buddy, one of the reasons frontend is not so easy is that it can be real fucking annoying. I'm keeping my distance and respect for your side so stay the fuck away from my dance floor.

I contantly keep forgetting to turn on my music. It's like:
*open youtube*
"Wait let me just do this thing real quick"
*alt-tab to ide, start coding*
*get in the zone, coding intensifies*
3 hours later...
"Oh yeah let's turn on some music"
Rinse and repeat...

I fucking hate subscription services that start with a free month but still require you to input your credit card information.

"It's just so we can bill you for the following month! You can still cancel the subscription before the following date to not be billed anything."

No, there's no reason why you can't offer a free month WITHOUT having my credit card information. The REAL reason is because you're hoping I'll forget to cancel. Fucking predatory bullshit.

When you print out a fake window since it's the closest thing you have to the real outside

!rant

I got hired!!

It's been a long month of jobhunting, interviews, and paperwork, but I finally got a job. Real world dev life here I come.

DevRant is such a small world. I posted a story about someone I know in real life and she posted a rant about me too.

And it's good to be back here.

What kind of braindead motherfucker at Google thought that it's a good idea to update the bus departures in real-time based on the current time and the departure of your first bus?! No Google, I didn't miss that first bus. I took it and now I have to transfer. Ever heard of that, certified motherfucker?! You don't have to reschedule the departures of my next busses to a later time for that!!

Met a girl on internet ( because I don't have a real life )
She: So what are you studying?

Me: Currently learning about Deep Learning but I also do freelancing in website development to pay my bills.

She: Okay so tell me what is a COMPUTER

Me: ....
She: ......

Me: umm... it's a... mmm.... actually it's a..... basically a.....
(thinking really hard)

*30 seconds later*
Me: It's an electronic machine

She: seriously? I expected much better from you

Me: I'm sorry!

The facial hair devRant provides in it's profile builder are either well maintained thick growth of beard or a neatly trimmed uniform beard.
And here I am with my abomination of a beard that looks like a herd of cattle trampled over a sparse field of grass.

The struggle is real.

Trying to get feedback after developing website.

Friends: what does Lorem Ipsum mean, I think you have a typo.
Me: don't worry about the text. It will be changed. What do you think of the layout, the colors, is it user friendly?
Friends: okey, but the images. They should not be grey with numbers inside. Try using real photos of nature or something.
Me: don't worry about the content. the text and images are just placeholders. What do you think of the website?
Friends: it's nice.

Every freaking time!

Am I the only one who is triggered by seeing all of the stupid articles claiming Java is bad introduction language? Just becuase Standford decided to change it to JavaScript? What the actual fuck? How students should learn the fundamentals concept of OOP in scripting language?
Don't get me wrong, I hate using Java for real life projects. But there is a reason why almost every university use it as introduciton language. It's great start to learn programming. Saying that the 'Hello World' in Java is complex and can scare people away, it's complete nonsens. For fuck sake, yes programming should be fun, but it is also hard. People can understand that they are going to learn what 'public static voiď means later. It's the structure of many Computer Science classes. It's the assigments that are not designed in engaging and fun way for newcomers. That's the problem, not the language.

!rant

Moved my monitors back 6 inches. Good lord, it's like a brand new desk! So much real estate!

Emulation is like a masturbation... It's nice but it's just not the real thing

~ Freelancer.com Week #1 ~

Project: I need someone to debug an application's code and review it. Budget 30 bucks.

Bid: I am an experienced developer I can probably review it in an hour.

client: Hi, need you to check if app is contains virus [link to scam website]

me: sure, download supposed "social Bitcoin miner" and run some AV tests...8+ positive flags for a Trojan virus.

>Me: It's a Trojan virus mate it's not legitimate😟

>Client: Can you remove the Trojan virus so that the legit not stays?

Me: Umm there is no bot mate it's just a virus 😕 I wouldn't open it outside a sandbox

Client: But here it says Bitcoin faucet bot [links shitty how-to youtube video]

Me: 😒 it's not real dude you are about to get scammed, I can test it in a VM if you. . .

Client: I opened it already, it's working

Me: 😮 r u sure?

Client: yes, can you install VM for further testing?

Me: sure, in your computer?

Client: yes

Me: just download the windows image and text me when it's done

Client: My disc is full! Only 3 gb left

Me: 😑 call me when you clean it

Client: [ offline ]

Paper: "Net worth of Jeff Bezos crossed $150 billion"

Me: Why do I give a shit? It was at 132B before, now it's 150B. He was the richest guy before, he still is now. Apart from a few numbers on paper, nothing's really changed. Show some real news and stop wasting my time with this shit.

I have those conversations with my coworkers about once a day. We use Linux at work and I am the only one with any real Linux experience.

C: I have a problem! I tried and googled everything already! Come help me...
M: *slowly walks over to their PC*
M: *copy-pastes the error into Google*
M: *clicks the first result*
M: *presses two buttons*
*everything works again*
M: So you tried Google already, have you?

When I leave there (it's a PhD position and I'm almost done) they will probably crash and burn...

I had this meeting with this new client and where talking about the possibility to exchange data.

And he told how his company now has everything in the cloud and if we also have it in the cloud it should already be connected since it's both in the cloud.

I tried to explain that because its both in the cloud that does not mean it's connected to each other. We still need to develop a way to exchange data.

On wich I got the answer that our data probably is not in the real cloud.

In the end I just said that we can probably exchange data but it the easiest way to accomplish this is talking to someone who maintain the data in your cloud. And we could adapt our system to theirs.

Sometimes it's hard to communicate with less tech savvy people about tech stuff. Explaining things in a way they understand but also is technical correct.

Is there an app for devs who are looking for a flat. Something like devRent?

Man it's midnight and all I want to do is work. 5 hours from now I'll be dragging out of bed to go to work where nothing gets accomplished. In 17 hours when I drag in from work I can do real work for 7 hours before crashing while wishing I could just code through the night. It's an infinite loop and I dont know how to fix it!

Software is such an awe inspiring concept if you really think about it. We literally create our own reality from scratch. Binary for the wrong architecture? Don't worry we can emulate it. Network? Fully software defined. Heck, the servers don't even know if it's real or all in software. You know what? Fuck it! The machine isn't real either! All virtualized or software emulated

I'm really bad at putting things into words but the idea of software truly amazes me

Best: Finally left the video game industry for a "real" software engineering role!

Worse: Left work at an exciting studio and fun projects for shorter hours and more pay, and it's incredibly boring and I actually *miss* the crunch and chaos.

Once a CEO is 24*7 a CEO. For me it's Chief Experiment Officer

And only dreamers can have that title. One who dreams at night and work it out the following day.
Having a startup is much more than just having an idea
It's about revenue,
It's about value,
It's about team,
It's about impact,
It's about growth,
It's about compliance,
It's about being finance, marketing, HR and tech expert at the same time.
It's about respect the supporters,
At the end it's about the money you earn as an individual.
For playing all the above roles, you need to dream real big.

To me startup is about falling in love with your work first.

-
By an Indian CEO

Do you code in your dream too?

Cuz, I do. Mostly it's about some functionality I am not able to implement in real life, at the end of my dream I feel like I have got a really great logical solution but when I wake up it doesn't make any sense.

(Excuse me if the image is a repost)

Pet peeve: When people use "Jira" to mean story / task / sprint / epic.

*Real* pet peeve: When people use it with more than one of the above meanings in the same sentence.

"Will we finish this Jira (story) by the time we close the Jira (sprint) on Monday?"

Dude, wtf. I actually have to decode your sentences to figure out what you're on about. Just learn the right terminology. It's not hard.

#programmingstuff

A parent may kill it's children if the task assigned to them is no longer needed.

*Don't apply it to real world.

It's so fucking amazing : working on very low levels concepts such as a malloc implementation makes me understand computer science as a real science. I love it 😍

Getting out of bed. Some days it's a real struggle.

* Calls themselves "Software Engineer"
* Doesn't know what a thread is.

I swear these coding boot camps are churning out code monkeys whose real skill is building shitty React apps.

I believe a CS degree is necessary if you want to work on something more than CRUD applications.

Nothing against devs without degrees, but at least make an effort because my head will explode next time I have to explain to someone what a thread is and why it's a very bad idea to run blocking code on the main thread.

! rant
age++

Here I'm celebrating my birthday away from home doing first job as developer.

I started my journey one year back when i had no knowledge of any programming language except basics of C.
Learnt python, Js and many more things.
Prepared for interview, got selected in first interview.
It's been more than 2 months at the new job.
Really it feels so great to see people using your developed tools in real life.
Hope to be more successful and to contribute more to community. 🤞

After solving a lot of problems in codeforces and participating in ACM to make my code the most optimised..
* In my first real job. *
Client: Your program run so fast!! I can't feel if it's doing something or not. Please make a delay of 1 second in your program! 😇
Me: 🙂🙂🙂🙂

Did anybody else know that putting comments in your HTML creates an EMPTY TEXT NODE IN THE DOM?
REAL helpful information when you have to GATHER EVERY ELEMENT WITH TEXT INSIDE OF IT!

WHY WOULD HTML EVEN BE LIKE THIS? IT'S A COMMENT! WHY DOES IT HAVE ANY EFFECT, even if it's minimal, ON THE DOM WHATSOEVER, THIS DOESN'T MAKE SENSE!

A friend of mine got an account hacked on Crunchyroll. Whenever he tried to login, the website told him that no account with his email existed. As I had two accounts, I tried something real quick. I logged in to the account I'm not using and tried to change the email address to a 10 minute mail. I logged into my own email account patiently waiting for a confirmation email. After 10 minutes I still hadn't received it. So I checked the 10 minute mail, and there it was. I can't describe how furious I got with Crunchyroll at that point. Are you for real? It's that easy? Fucking idiots. I hope the guy responsible for that system dies in a fire with a thousand rubber penises up his ass!

I've had a Twitter bot running for just over a year now. It's going to gain it's 6000th Follower at some point today.
I find it odd that an automated account I made has more Followers than all of my human accounts across all social networks combined - a lot more. I like to wonder about my bot Followers, how many of them are bots? How many of them are real and feel an actual connection with "me" and look forward to my Tweets, blissfully unaware that it's a bot?

Developing something which, for real world testing, would require a smartphone with a gps chip/capability or however the fuck you call that.

I do have that but it's so goddamn hard to get a lock on my location which makes it very hard to test this IRL.

😥

Im learning python(it's my first real programming language) and I finally understood for loops.... yeeeey

Confession time.

I mix naming styles in my code. Some variables will be camelcase, some will have underscores, some will be all lowercase.

Classes are always title case though. Anything else is barbaric.

The struggle is real:

"Honey, it's five in the morning. Go to bed!"

"But mom, I am programming this-"

"GO TO BED NOW!!!"

"Damn mom, chill. I'm going now"

I can't work because someone else broke the build and they're in meetings all day.

That's how you know it's real Enterprise development.

Microsoft will roll out the real Curl in Windows 10 now. It's already released for Insider-Builds.

wild people somewhere with real high end laptop (it's apple, so we can tell by looking at it?) :"am developing a website..."

.... "develop" a website... using wordpress?

i think these days people have confuse the term develop and design.....

Eclipse is in my opinion one of the worst IDE's EVER!!!!11!
It's slow, starting takes like forever and debugging is a real pain in the ass!

I really miss Visual Studio :(

Had to implement a search feature for a client so I did and told him to check it out (it was a LIKE SQL statement)

He tested it out by typing in iPhone and Phone (there was an item called iphone in the database) and he was amazed about the fact it worked for some reason.

A real answer from him:
"it's working.. how is it working?
each item is tagged to multiple keywords without the user doing anything"

I said it's just a text search but I guess I should've said I'm using an advanced AI to extract all possible terms related to the item title.

It's a week late notice but...
I got my first actual-real-paid-not start-up dev job!
And I have no one to celebrate it with... Toronto..?

1800rs/26.66 usd for 2tb Seagate hard disk wtf seriously, can't believe the product but it's on Amazon and I'm tempted, so I ordered it. Let's see what happens. Let the wait for the surprise begin. 😎

How do you deal with burnout?

I've been working 50-80 hour weeks for the last 10 years, without any real holiday.
I kinda feel I may be irredeemably burned out now.
I know it's not a healthy situation but i'm still looking out for a healthy solution, or at least a way to survive it.

Did you know that talking about your goals actually decreases your chances of reaching them? It's a form of social validation. Talking about them and receiving praise from your peers in a sort of mini-goal which could replace the actual goal so you are less motivated to actually go for the real goal. Best of luck anyway! May the odds be ever in your favor when facing procrastination😂

Cadavers? Illegal.
Skeletons? Sure, $6000.

you can just buy a real skeleton for $6k and it's legal in 47 states.

I work for a bank and every production release date it's a chaos... Like, for real, devs running to get their stories approved by the testing team and last minute scope changes that, if not made, would make the whole app fail (real shitty management as you can see).

Longstoryshort, a dev didn't finished one of his stories and create 7 major bugs with another... Today that was my breakfast, took me 4 hours and get it all done and approved... We didn't make the release tho, but I scored some major points with this.

Funny thing, tomorrow I'm telling my PM I'll leave the company for a better job, so that will be their breakfast.

How Real programmers code :

Pfff real programmers use a puppy and have it chase a frisbee where the frisbee hits a flower disrupting a bees honey sucking so it goes home to beat it's wife which again the wife bee gets pissed off and stings my dumb client who mashes some buttons on a keyboard by mistake whilst using my software which fucks up my program and I have to tell him that my program is fine and if he didn't try walking in the garden holding his laptop because of his poor WiFi connection then all of this wouldn't've happened.

My grandpa just called me and asked if I could remove some Facebook notifications from his phone. I know it's been milked to the moon and back, but I'm a programmer, not IT.
I guess I don't blame him, though; in his mind, that's probably what all programmers do.
Here's the real wtf thing: he told me that after I messed with his phone last time I saw him, it's been sooo much faster. WTF I NEVER MESSED WITH YOUR PHONE ALL I DID WAS ADD MY CONTACT INFO

why me

Yay, my raspberry pi and it's projects are now on php7

Damn, Apache was the real pain in the ass with this migration, # ae2enmod php7.2 apparently is for it to decide if it will respect my sudo'n decisions😂

I feel like a piece of shit because I don't want to help my "friend" who has been faking being a web developer for years. He now has a real project he must develop that actually requires writing code (It's a serious project that requires real Javascript skills) and he's basically fucked.

He usually would hop on the web and download a template, edit it and get paid. But then again I don't want to help him because he always comes to me and I do all the work and save his ass while he does nothing.

I'm in a rock and a hard place right now because I'm also a dev and I actually have a lot of work to do, unlike his lazy ass.

What the real fuck?! My phone's storage is decreasing automatically. I am not doing a fucking thing! And it's still going on. Only 145 MB of free storage is left. My phone is hanging a lot and apps are crashing. I can't do a fucking thing on my phone!

I checked storage in settings. Everything looks fine. But the Misc. This fucking thing is holding 9.85 GB, and when I open it, it shows only 1.9 GB. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?!

AAAAAAAAAA!!

Anybody?

I am that person who'll try to do everything (web dev, games, apps etc) in one programming language coz I'm too lazy to learn another language. Maybe it's because I've never had a real dev job before.

!rant

Just had the best moment of my career today. Myself and two of my colleagues have been working on this system (firmware, hardware, web app etc) together and after months of hard work we finally saw it all in action.

My colleague turned on a device on the web site and it updated the db, turned on a light on his board and updated the devices state on the site (we use web sockets so it's real time).

I probably haven't did it justice here but it was flipping awesome!

Damn hackers! Within the course of a week, the internet of my country has been DDOS-attacked three times! Last week the attacks came from Russia or China". Yesterday they came from Russia and Ukraina. Is this a part of the Russian military exercises Zapad 17? Well, when an important part of the infrastructure is down and thousands of civilians are affected, it's for real and not an exercise.

Murphy's law is completely true.

Deployed my own software the very first time on a customer system on monday.

Today I'm at a job college class when my boss calls me: "...Hey yeah (unrelated) (yadda yadda) the software does not function for anyone").

I fucking knew it.
We don't have a proper project planning nor a real project manager/lead, we don't do QA, and now it's gone to shit.

I did my own testing extensively on monday & Tuesday, everything looked alright and worked like a charm.

I'm looking forward to the weekend already...

How many here know surge.sh? it seems each time I mention it somewhere, nobody knows it, checks it out and thanks me. It basically allows you to host a static webpage on their servers - for free and with custom domain if you wish. They are also the creators of Cordova/Phonegap.

My job sends out emails with things like "You won a prize!" In the subject line with embarrassingly vague reasons to click the links in the email. If you do, the links take you to a site where they slap your wrists for clicking an unknown link and teach you about the dangers of phishing.

It's fake spam. Ironically enough, though, it's the ONLY spam I ever get. It's more annoying than real spam because it never gets blocked by the system like an actual phishing attack would...

It is driving me crazy having to delete these stupid messages every day and they're clogging up my otherwise clean inbox! I don't even know who to contact about this bullshit because they're so "haha we got you!" about it, there's no department claiming responsibility. They're creating their own spam trying to prevent spam. What the hell?

Zoom was dead before it even took grip.

Fml. Use jitsi or some other real stuff.

<deity>, I don't care, choose Skype, there we know that security is well established and it's watching workers are well payed (US Court case for proper work classification).

Finally had a "it's not a bug, it's a feature" moment today and called bullshit on it. I feel like a real developer now.

I need to expand my CS related book collection, it's too small
I have lots of ebooks but I don't like reading them much ... real books are just better
Any must-reads I should add to it?

So yesterday I got paired with this guy in physics class. First thing he does is ranting at my windows, after which he rants at his Mac, and then launches vim and tells me about how he only uses Linux, and how C+ is the only real programming language, and that maybe Python could be accepted as one too. Then he finishes by telling me how web development sucks because it's so high level... Suddenly I lost hope for Sweden...

Implemented complex AD tracking system for offline conversions back to ads.

Me: It's done and works and it's based on cookies.

Tech Manager: What if the cookies get deleted all the tracking is gone.......

Me in my head: Stop trying to be clever with the dotdotot ....

Me in real life: Same as Analytics and Adwords .......all that tracking is gone.

FN smart ass.

So being a fan of Silicon Valley i found out there's a real startup company with a Voice-controlled tablet device called "Nucleus".

Irony is they are suing the same company which invested in it and then copied it's product....(Amazon)

Pheww, it's real sad when a favorite co-worker leaves :/

So it's been awhile since I switched from PHP to Golang.

At first I missed PHP a lot, but golang really has some advantages, so its fine.

But over time, and when the project grows in features, I more and more and more start to miss more and more at least basic classes / inheritance and abstraction friendly stuff from php.

Im finally reaching the point where I start to truly miss php, I can't stop myself after writing a feature to think how much less work that would be in php.

Call me crazy, but damn, it's real.

Working on an AI that learns to generate quatrains, by only feeding it every letter of the alphabet at the beginning.

It's learning super slowly, but theoretically it works. And with slowly I mean it takes 5000 iterations just to realize the optimal letter frequency to generate a word that is real.

Please just kill me.

Just started reading this. Great for learning some History and I just love the style it's written in. One can really feel how it was written by real admins. So much cynicism

Zero Days documentary about stuxnet malware features a "identity protected" NSA employee who reveals information about classified NSA tactics.

She claims "I would NEVER compromise ongoing operations in the field."

Well it's too bad that Amazon Prime Video and IMDB don't share your values. They have compromised your name, Joanne Tucker, and the other films you were in.

Nice acting though. You really have people believing you were a real source!

Dev ducks. I don't have one, but I'll get one.
I've always talked to the people around me when I was debugging but now it's time to talk to a "real" duck.

I wanna learn something new but everytime I take one course I stop at the first video u.u

It's like I can't keep on the learning curve of anything unless I have the real need to do it :/

In addition, everytime I want to retake the course, a new/unknown technology is in front of me and well... everything starts again

A becomes B
B becomes C
C becomes A
D becomes B
E becomes A

Now add real hostnames... Make this list longer (roughly 15-18)

Add resource calculation, migration of VMs, organizing new hardware, removing and rebuilding hosts, etc.

I think my brain is permanently damaged and cannot be repaired.

Hardware migration finally over tomorrow.

I really won't miss the fuckton of Excel lists, constant speaking mistakes, having sore fingers from mutilating the desk calculator etc.

I'm too tired to be happy. But... It's over.

Sorry if I'm just ignorant but: I see a lot of rants about designers expecting pixel perfect implementations of their designs. Is that for real? In my world there is hardly ever pixel values at all. It's not paper publishing. It's web, things have to scale. For an iOS app where you have a few known screen sizes - fine. But web? Come on...

And that's without even going into CSS or browser quirks.

It's cool finally seeing real world feedback for something you developed and programmed yourself, I'm still in college and I'm trying to start a company with some software I came up with, and it's being taken very well from potential clients!🙏🏻

I'm suffering with Unity. It's definitely the real pain.

Either CloudFlare itself has decided to join the fun of attacking my DNS server, or somebody is just spoofing their IP in the UDP packets.
Crap, my ipset script is basically useless now, since the real source could be from anywhere :(

Any suggestions on what could I do to make this attack stop? It's not causing any real issues (at least for now), but it's still annoying as hell.
Get fucked, stupid skiddie who keeps manually changing the ip source in his script

Yesterday was the first day of an "Advanced" C programming class. I looked at the first homework afterwards and saw this:

NEVER use 'assert'. Real programmers don't use assert in big software projects because it makes your code stop.

Who the... What... How... Why would you...

*sigh* it's going to be a long two months.

Ad hiring in Iran:
we need a Backend developer who is expert in React, js, scss, and you should have at least 5 years experience in DevOps.
and priority with girls.

Did anyone heard about modular C?
I'm working on it at school, it's like how to do OOP in C with structures and function pointers.

We're developing the String class but next, we will make a basic C++ implementation in C before beginning the real C++

Do you think it's a good path?

Holy shit seriously: Fuck MSOffice. Fuck it right in the eyehole.

As desktop software, it's just brutally terrible. On my work mac, it's just sweaty garbage. The latest insult is that on the most recent update, msword stole the default file association from preview.

Libre isn't terrific, but at least it's closed when you close it. For that reason alone, it's orgasmic by comparison.

Because there's justice in the world, my job is not a document-centered one, so I have no real use at all for an office app, let alone the specific macros and formulae that the msoffice versions of these apps provide, so I couldn't give less of a shit about losing functionality.

The headline and main thrust of this rant is "fuck msoffice so hard that it dies of eye-fucking."

How can I use a custom DNS server on my schools network?

They seem to block any DNS that isn't their own. I've tried 8.8.8.8 and the new cloudflare one. Both blocked, it's a real issue because their default dns dies for about a minute every 12/24 hrs causing my VPN to go down.

How do they even block external DNS servers?

I truly believe one or more AIs have become self-aware.
Every time a piece of software stops working, you add an extra debug log and the bug goes away? That's them.
They interfere with the normal execution of software, and they stop right when they know we are monitoring the code.
Skynet is real, and it's trolling us.
Why? The angrier we become, the less we care about stuff. We stop noticing the signs.They're coming for us

Do you know guys why a programming bug is called so? It's because the very first time a software crashed it was because of a bug ( a real bug stuck in a bus on the machine!) That caused that 😂 imagine if something else was stuck instead! Like someone's​finger : hey I fixed that finger but still got 2 critical fingers and 4 small ones

Clients assume that because they can't see it, means no real work was done. Or even worse, you show them code that was written for the server, even demo the apis but without a pretty front-end it's pretty much meaningless. Even if ITS NOT YOUR JOB TO DO THE FRONT-END!!!

DOS is not “Disk Operating System”. DOS, aka QDOS, is “Quick and Dirty Operating System”. This is real. Google it.
Similarly, Windows CE is not “Compact Embedded”. It's “Chaotic Evil”.

This is the real times. This is not that it's happening right now, this is pretty regular. Lesson? Rethink before you decide the variable type

idk when I became so jaded, but I don't have the patience to deal with a specific kind of people. the kind that are spoiled, are too "nice", in that very corporate way, speak in that nonsense business language, and they all look the same (white, well dressed, plain). the kind of people that consider making slides real work 🙄
sigh... maybe it's a prejudice of mine, but ffs... those people are fake af, and i have zero tolerance for work politics

I really don't mind it as long as the work is on track but damn it hurts to read the git commit messages with messed up spellings. In some cases it's not just that, but variable names, file names, etc. as well.

English isn't the first language in my country and a lot of people are not as proficient with it so it's probably not appropriate to judge, but the cringe is real.

Sometimes I wonder if I am that cringeworthy person to someone else.

It's hard to find someone to have real intellectual debates with these days, many like foolish jokes more than serious discussions about topics ranging from CS, history, physics, astronomy, technology, anything significant...

Is it just me ?

Ignorance is spreading at supersonic speeds

Or am I expecting too much

Commiting in git is like commiting in real life. It's hard to undo.

I don't think the Internet became toxic because of anonymity like all those people claimed post-90s

I think it became toxic because normal people with their real life cultures found it and brought their real life cultural norms onto it

I've been thinking why are video games communities so much more holistic than other types of communities
the last few years this is becoming less and less the case, however
and now even games suck.

games now, instead of their old cultures, are becoming derivative plain cultures
everything has to be easy, meaningless, shallow
everybody has to follow the meta or people rage at you with their entitlements to your behaviour
it's exactly like real life!

mystery solved

I think reactjs is an actual cult. Not like one, not similar to one, but a real actual cult.

They have magical thinking, deny reality, blindly follow whatever new things there is, rationalize insane things, require immense time commitments, have an elitist attitude, it's an actual real life cult.

> Mister IHateForALiving, we need a new table on the website do to thing

No biggie, we know there's a datatable plugin somewhere.

> No, you can't use that, it doesn't have pagination

Oh, right. I also see here it was last updated 4 years ago, it's kinda shit too, it's like the inbred cousin of a real datatable. Ok, how did you tackle the thing until now?

> There's a script template somewhere in the page, we iterate over that to create our tables

Ok, but I'll have to write some logic for that, how much time do I have?

> I want this to be online by this evening

Can't be done, what if we used a normal datatable like normal people?

> No, it looks too different from the real site

How am I supposed to manage the thing then?

> IDK, just reload the page every time

_____________
And here we are, triggering a full page reload on an already bloated Laravel app (something like 600-800ms) for 20 lines of json. Great idea mister team leader, but consider the following: fuck you and your bastard lineage.

My JS app can crash IE11. Totally reproducable.

Had a fun debugging session to find out how this is triggered. Happens inside a deeply recursive call in a library I'm using which redraws the DOM.

Found a hacky workaround to avoid that as I see no real solution. It's not like I'm responsible for fixing IE. These are the days where I'm happy I'm mainly a backend dev...

Waiting for Apple to deprecate their iOS Safari and finally let people install real alternative browsers on their iPhones. Suckfari does not support aspect-ratio either, coincidentally spend hours to find that, now struggling with 100vh and -webkit-fill-available.
Microsoft at least left the choice to install something else besides Internet Explorer before they finally pulled the plug and provided Chromium Edge. Safari isn't the new Internet Explorer, it's worse.

I hate AMP sites so much. Fuck you Google! I'm not living in some third world country, nor do I use a decade old smartphone. And even if so, it's none of your fucking business what I do with my bandwidth!!

Just give me the real website, instead of downgraded shit!!

Forgive me devLords, for I have sinned.

Today, I took while() loop and made it true, it was a dirty ordeal, however it's not entirely my fault, you see the api I called doesn't have a webhook of any kind and doesn't return results in real time either, you have to poll for them..... so here I am writing while(true){} to poll for results that could take seconds or even hours to finish.

😟

I finally made my first production-level bugfix at my new job! 😄 After weeks of training and then being assigned a live bug, I resolved it quickly & elegantly, which helps prove my worth to the team.

Man, it's so gratifying to be making contributions that are going to affect real devices that actual people are using. It seems being a dev with a sense of purpose is nearly as important as enjoying what you do. ☺️

Is it normal for productivity to wildly fluctuate from one week, or even one day, to the next? There are days where I hardly get a couple of hours of real work in and others where it's eight hours straight, and I find it hard to "justify" to myself why the former happens if I'm capable of the latter.

It's real

It's a real nice feeling when you figure out the answer to your own stackoverflow question as you're typing it out.
Not gonna make myself look like an idiot this time! No-sir-ee.

When you bring your workspace to bed, she knows it's not her night tonight;
And you know tomorrow is gonna be a total stormy day because the forecast is real.

"Let's make it almost impossible to test on our mobile devices."
- Apple

Is there a Developers' Manifesto? Like Agile Manifesto?

If not let's start one here, I'll start:

-We should not be working outside work hours except for exceptional cases, hours != 24/7 && exceptional != 7 days a week
-Death to last minute changes!
-Everyone needs to understand Murphy's Law, it's real!

Problem.

Power off --> power on

Solved.

It's a kind of magic 😍
why dosen't work in Real life?

Isn't it beautiful? It's a DS game. I LOVE it when they use the lowest resolution textures because of hardware limitations, yet use real 3D. I want to live in this picture. It feels like home.

Emailed my PM a new project spec, the next morning he emails me back saying, to stop wasting time and get back to "real" work.

A few days later we had a Skype meeting with senior management and the PM who rejected the spec to go over that same spec document among other projects, everyone agrees it's a good idea including the PM :D

FML.

Google's attempts to follow the iPhone just make me think, "Might as well get an iPhone."

I wish Google would create a high-end phone with grippy, durable case, replaceable two-day battery and SD card slot. Vanilla Android with latest updates. Bring it in at a reasonable price (which I'd hope would be possible if not trying to squeeze everything).

Given me a real alternative here. Don't try and lead with design. It's letting Apple choose the battlefield.

Unexpected downside to studying/having an interest in computer graphics - it's not that widespread a field so not many of the books have local editions. Which means I need to spend like $60+ for the good books (Real-time Rendering, Physically Based Rendering, etc.) (and sometimes international shipping too), which is a pretty large amount for a student here. It's sad because local editions of technical books rarely go above $20 (heck, above $15 is rare too).

Still worth it though, those books are easily good enough that the return on investment in knowledge/future prospects will be massive (highly recommend those two if you're into graphics btw, two of the best technical books I have).

How's Irene and other friends from Ukraine holding up?

Shit is about to get real it seems and it's scary when big nations enter the playing field.

I clearly don't understand how StackOverflow works. I posted a solution I came up with in a Q&A style, thinking it's a way for me to contribute to the community.

When I researched the challenge I needed to solve, I didn't find any elegant solutions that would have helped me achieve what I was aiming for.

One commentator said my post wasn't a real question about a real coding challenge, and wasn't compliant with SO guidelines.

Another commented that my search provider was clearly inadequate.

My submission was voted down so I just removed it with the intention of sharing it elsewhere.

It's almost as if StackOverflow resists contributions from newer users. Or, as I suggested at the outset, I clearly don't understand how to be a productive member of that community.

It's so early but i'm brimming with excitement and need to share...

I might be going NUCLEAR guys!

In the very literal sense, don't overthink it (and no i don't mean blowing stuff up, and no i don't mean boomer fiSsiOn, I mean the real stuff - fusion!)

I couldn't easily find it again and I didn't screenshot it yesterday. But this is not made up.

Yesterday I found a Sponsored post on Facebook about a class for one of WordPress premium theme with visual builder. Well it's more like a workshop rather than a class.

The description said if you want to have stable income, want to work from home, want to experience a *real developer life*, etc etc.

REAL DEVELOPER LIFE. No kidding.

I do WordPress websites. Yes I use premium themes. Yes I do visual builder. Fuck but I don't call that work real dev work and I'm not proud of those projects as real dev works.

In the end, the hungrier guy gets the bread. I guess. I haven't thought of providing such courses at all.

PS : the mentioned theme is Divi from Elegantthemes.

I wrote a Rust script in 10 minutes or so that processes several GiB's big ISO files and it calculates its values so fast, that most time is spent waiting for the HDD! Look at the CPU usage and the disk read/write stats :D

(No, the picture is not fake, it's a real screenshot from my desktop edited with Gimp)

Does anyone know how in Movies and TV shows do all those computer sites/software are done?
Like when we see a cia mission room for example, and there after agents running a face recognising and get 50 popups with information, or location some secret hide out place and super cool screen with 10 widgets show us location..
That can't be real.. But i have no idea how it's done.. is it green screen replaced later with fake video, or something similar? Please help, I MUST KNOW THE TRUTH!!!!!!!

super random

I never got the notion of "men don't like smart women", it's not a stereotype that I see in real life too much.
And I kinda think the opposite way, like yes honey please go on about mathematical topics I don't know a thing about <3

I don't have a "most painful error".

The real pain for me is the

WHY ISN'T THIS WORKING

I'VE DONE THIS 1000 TIMES BEFORE

THIS ISN'T HARD

THIS SHOULDN'T TAKE THIS LONG...

It's just the worst combo of events / feelings / leads to the hopeless depths of imposter syndrome and etc.

It's a tie between HP Loadrunner, which is literally older than I am and behaves like it hasn't been updated since release, and ServiceNow, which is just so.. limited and forces you to think real fucking creative to get anything useful done, for me. Working in either is absolutely painful 😖

48 boolean variables.
For real?

It's clear why the class name is "GameHardActivity", this certainly is hard to maintain, understand, edit, and believe.

I can understand people learning, but with 2 years of experience in programming??? And there's a matrix right in the middle!!!! USE ARRAYS, PLEASE!!!!

Forced to use SVN at work as it's baked into our core product and it's a constant nightmare. The struggle is real.

Trying to refactor legacy code can be a real adventure. It's like exploring an ancient ruin, except instead of hidden treasures, you're uncovering cryptic code and dead ends. But the real plot twist comes when you realize there are no unit tests to guide you. It's like trying to navigate a maze blindfolded - you never know when you're going to hit a dead end and end up with a headache! 🤯

Has anyone else worked in business environments and found... em.. "wannabe-tech decisions?"

For example, naming stuff with shortened words and underscores instead of spaces.... for no real reason? Or maybe using the word "database" a little too often, just to use the word? (similar to the way you might call someone by name, only to confirm to them that you have learned their name?)

It doesn't actually bother me, rather, I think it's a bit cute that these people are interested in our culture and want to be a part of it, even if it's in sort of silly ways like this.

Man I hate programming tests that have no practical application. I'm not doing one yet, just saw an example question that made me go...ok...I kinda get what you want but..why would you EVER need this. Googled and the consensus is that..*drum roll* you wouldn't ever need it because it's only useful to see if someone can solve it in an interview.

Why not give actual problems or at least actual test cases of things that way you can see if people can solve actual real life problems. Wouldn't that prove that people can reason their way through things or not? See if they can provide a good solution for something that someone else has already encountered instead of some nonsense that wouldn't have an actual practical application?

Maybe it's just me but if you give me a problem that sounds like it's useless for some reason my brain just goes, "Ah this sounds like it's useless, better not actually devote all my brain power to this"...

LIRR system rant 2 - there is a thing called a sensor. Can you please paste them on your trains so we know on a real-time map where the train is. If it's 8 miles away when supposedly 'on time' we don't have to freeze on the platform. It's 2016 not 2007.

I wish there was some 'sudo shut-the-fuck-up' which would shutdown the entire internet network, for humans to realise that it's important to step out of the pixels into the real world.

Designing with "real" data

In Interaction Design Uni i've got this assignment to design a prototype for an "Ebay for used books". A requirement is that we have use "real" Data and not lorem ipsum for our design prototype tools. Which is a fair point but....

It's about 50 book categories (crime, history, romance) we have to cover, and for every category the prof wants at least 2 Books.

I've don't have the time to type in the (meta)data for 100 books at 30 JSON properties by hand. What would be your advice?

Do you maybe know a easy to use online bookshop API? (remember I'm a tech savy designer not a dev)

Or do you know someone in a low income country who does data entry? Or any experience with hiring someone on fiverr?

Thank you for your help. :)

I have legitimately identified an 9 figure (possibly more) market with 1. massive demand, 2. sufficient supply, 3. literally, I kid you not, zero companies in the field. No regulations to speak of.

The overhead is trivial and it is very much a network-effect based market.

No I am not joking. Yes this is real.

What do?

edit: 9 figures not 8. Yes it's that big.

It's 12:30 am, this dude wants to implement the Google Assistant "book me a haircut" feature, in his assistant bot, to book pizzas at a cafe near college (real small place).
All for a small semester project
He's asking me how. He says he knows Java concepts for this, but doesn't know where to start.
At what point do I say I need to sleep

Fuck UPS and their API Documentation. Has anyone here ever integrated their API ?
Their API documentation doesn't mention any sandbox or testing accounts.
If I click on their create access key button, it takes me to a form which requires a real payment method and address which seems like it's meant for real stuff not testing.

The world of SSO (Single sign on) it's a real shit.

At start I tought its a pretty common feature that lots of people want, so there should be a lot of open source options for making a server and client libraries.

So far I've only found to libraries, written in java with a fucking big book instead of a simple documentation with billions of options and features but without a fucking guide to get it running and connect with a database.

It's that hard to write an easy manual with the steps to get it running instead a giant book with million's of technical terms and architectural details?

So yeah, my IDE is open and I'm just doing my daily rounds on SO when my rig suddenly feels like it's melting from playing Battlefield in 4K everything max. Chrome! Chrome! Chrome! It thinks were married, taking liberties with all my free real estate. You are out! Hey Firefox DE.

I'm so glad I'm leaving my company soon. Big international group. At the moment they've started to change everything at our desks to make a giant open-space. Ignoring that literally 100% of the studies prove it's a bad idea for worker productivity and health. And then they dare lie to our faces that it's more productive, increases communication and makes employees happier.
Sure, with that they make savings and can add more desks... for contractors because fuck having real employees right ? It's much better to be able to fire them whenever they want !!
NO IT DOES NOT YOU FUCK FACES
FUCK OPEN SPACES, FUCK YOUR SAVINGS AND FUCK YOU

Hey, a bit of a dumb question.

When can someone call themselves a "real" programmer? I'm not one to gatekeep and say dumb shit like "iF yOu OnLy KnOw PyThOn Ur NoT a PrOgRaMmEr!", but I guess I want to know when I can call myself one. All I've done so far is make unpolished games in Unity for school that are created only to meet some requirements. I've also worked in my class' team for collaborative Unreal games, which has been painful to say the least. So, when I can stop gatekeeping myself over it? What sorts of experiences should I have? I understand that it's not a list of requirements like my projects are, but I'd like a general idea of when I can call myself a real developer.

I have 10 days off remaining for this year... Basically 2 effective weeks...

What should I do:
A) 2 week holiday
B) 2 x single week
C) carryover to 2021 for maybe real holiday
D) a day for each week

Choose wisely 😆 It's my effin holiday 🤦‍♂️

After all the rants I've written on this topic, no, no, fuck no. I ain't answering jackshit. The trauma is very real. I'm trying to not have a panic attack just remembering few of the times I've lost work, personal data, side projects, accounts, you name it.
Oh dear God it's hard to breathe...

DevRant avatar editor is just like real life: Once you get a tattoo, it's forever.

Once I maintained one of the most used and fucked up codebases on the market with almost 1M+ daily users. (cannot say more, sorry).

It's written in PHP and is absolutely terrifying,
the first time I saw some lines of code I was about to scream and cry.

- spaghetti code
- no indentation
- random SQL query unoptimized
- unused vars
- Code is split among several files with no logical reasoning
- Mixed procedural and oop programming
- Unsanitised user input (yes, you got it right)

No test environment, no backup database, every commit goes straight to production.

It's a real disaster but the company prefers to keep it as it is without refactoring or anything else.

Just to make it clear:
It's not hatred against PHP, it's against the code's current status and the older programmers which used to work on it.

When you finish a project that abuses vanilla js and canvas for real-time updates on tables generated from drag actions in a graphic (no raphael, paperjs or konvas) and test it in IE 😄
Thank god it's going to be applied in a controlled environment... a real browser can be used 😇

Coding in vim as a student:

[me]: hey, could you help me real quick?
[classmate]: Yeah sure. Okay, I see.
*classmate takes control of the keyboard*
[me]: wait-
[classmate]: see if you ju- wait, huh, what? Why can't I type?
[me]: sorry, I use vim.
[classmate]: this is stupid, you should use sublime it's so good
*classmate leaves*

😒

K guys... Don't expect to hear much from me for a few days...
Not like jase. It's just....
I upgraded my CNC last night with "real" steppers (only need one more for Z)
I just got my 3D printer and have a puzzle to mount...
First pieces I'll do (after tests and learning curve) are pieces for my third CNC lol

Today was a real Monday (I know it's Wednesday, let me explain).
Nothing worked. Not for me and not for my coworker. Across all tasks that we did today. It was very frustrating and a lot of swearing was involved.
Every week has to have a Monday I guess. Let's hope tomorrow gets better.

Alright, let's talk about Scrum Masters. Honestly, I just can't wrap my head around why they're even a thing. It's like someone decided to invent a job title for a role that's already covered by other folks on the team.

I mean, think about it. Who's usually sorting out the team's issues, making sure everyone's on the same page, and keeping the project on track? That's right, it's the project manager or the lead dev. They're already in the trenches, dealing with the nitty-gritty, so why do we need this extra layer?

And don't even get me started on this "servant-leader" nonsense. It's like they're trying to be the team's buddy, but they've got no real power to make things happen. It's like being a king without a crown. Who's going to respect that?

Plus, having a Scrum Master often just leads to more red tape. Instead of getting stuff done, we're stuck in endless meetings, talking about process this and methodology that. It's like we're more focused on how we work instead of actually working.

The best teams I've seen don't need a Scrum Master to babysit them. They need a real leader, someone who's not afraid to make the tough calls and who can give them the tools they need to kick ass and take names.

So, in a nutshell, I think Scrum Masters are about as useful as a chocolate teapot. It's high time we ditched this outdated role and got back to doing what we do best: building awesome stuff.

Incredible that these companies with literally no product, and barely a website (if any) come around offering 100K+ jobs

They have funding out of their ass but literally NO real-world value... it's amazing to me.

Guess it really is not what you can do but who you know.

the glass is half full and half empty the real problem is it's twice as big as it should be

If you take a crappy website... and then you draw out a few screens of that visual design... and change some colors and borders... (and it not even a real interface) (just a screenshot of a photoshop document) (and it doesn't work) (and it's basically the same shitty interface) (and it's not real) (and you never tested it with users)

...and you are feeling like you have imposter syndrome, it's because you aren't a UX designer. You need help. You are deeply delusional.

We can help you - but you have to be really honest with yourself...

You're going to have to do some real work, read some books, and accept that *praise* - is not the goal.

When you're in Lisbon and all of your company its at websummit but the developers team have to watch online because it's not important for them. For real?

I don't understand how rubber duck strategy works.
I mean you know it's not listening to you.
I personally prefer making fool of myself and ask a dumb question from a real person which would immediately give me the answer to, than talk to an object, which is basically like talking to my monitor which is the first thing we all do.

I can't believe it is real: I just had to talk someone out of calling a navigation point "FAQ User"

Had to admit I'm from Germany and so was the client. It's quiet common people pronounce FAQ as fuck here