I need one of these for my server room

Boss throwing up a huge source code that I didn't see before.

Boss: Hey, this is an app from a contractor to do XYZ.

Me: Oh, okay.. so?

Boss: You will continue the code and the maintenance now. How much time do you need to implement X feature?

Me: I need to see the code first, can't say nothing now.

Boss: ok I need estimation now.

Me: *getting nervous* I need to see the fuckening code first. if you want estimation now I would say one year..

Boss: what?

Me: what?

The "startup idea"-guy starterpack ... "I just need some one to code it."

Providing work estimation:

Dev: This should take about 2 weeks

Non dev: Really? But it's so simple. Shouldn't be that long right? I think it can be done in one week.

*After one week*

Non dev: Why is it still not done? I thought you only need one week?

When one of the newest developers submits code that looks 100x better than his usual stuff and you respond "You need to include the link to where you got this"

Project manager logic, explained with babies.

9 women can have 9 babies in 9 month. We only need one baby.

Deadline is one month!

Client: "I need an Android app that does ______"
Me: "Ok, I'll start right away!"
Client: "Oh, and one more thing: I want it developed in eclipse"
Me: "Go away"

There is only one reason to pause coding: a girlfriend. But since I don't have one I need more Coffee I guess ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.

I made this a couple of years ago for a joke but no one really got it.

It's a printable smartwatch that always tells the right time, no need for charging...

I definitely need one of these!

One more upvote and I'll need another byte to store my points

When you know only one programming language but it is capable of doing Frontend, backend and everything you need...

I've asked a friend for a charging cable, he asked if I need a Samsung or a IPhone one. He ended up totally confused when I asked him for a Type C one.

Oh you're a frontend guy? Good, we need one of those.

Oh you're a backend guy too? Good, we need one of those.

Oh you're a security guy too? Good, we need one of those.

Oh you're a devops guy too? Good, we need one of those.

Oh you're a QA guy too? Good, we need one of those.

Oh you're an SEO guy too? Good, we need one of those.

"Well, sorry to say fullStackCraft, but we found your cloud architecture skills just a little too lacking for this position. We really need someone who can do frontend, backend, security audits, QA assessments, SEO, AND build scaling cloud architecture. Oh and while you're at it, can you turn fucking water into gold? We need that at our company too. You didn't get the position, but it'd be great if you could refer us to someone who is very advanced in fucking alchemy. Thanks!"

Absolutely toxic the way software people are treated I swear. The money may be the only good thing that is left.

Yes devRant, I know I can double tap to upvote a post, no need to show me the tip the one time I decide to click on the ++ instead!

Need to work on my focus. I feel like it's one of my greatest weakne ... hey look, a DevRant notification.

I always use brackets for clarity even if there is only one statement inside them

if (boolean){
function ();
}

Cus it's so much easier to read, and if I need to add statements after the if I don't need to remember to add brackets. Plus the else may need brackets and an if with no brackets but an else with brackets looks awful.

Boss: Hey squares, I need one of you to select a new volume control, if you spot anything let me know.
Me: Say no more

Am I the only one who doesn't need coffee to code?

When you have one problem and you decide to use regular expressions...

You need to know this: you have two problems now.

How many devs you need for changing a lightbulb?

10. One for holding the ladder, one for changing the bulb.

Dev: Hey, I need you to see something.
Client: ok
Dev: this is the models of those reports you need
Client: ok, wait, what is that number? This is wrong, we can't...
Dev: hey, calm down, this is not the production, it's just fake database!
Client: ah, ok.
(5 minutes of explantion)
Dev: so, what do you think?
Client: just one point, that data is very very wrong, we need to change this ASAP!

Am I the only one who genuinely hates installers that need internet connection?

So, I've been a programmer for 2 years and still don't like coffee.
Do I need therapy? Am I the chosen one? Should I switch to Java?

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE !!!!

and i only need one more upvote to get a stress ball !

If my coworker refers to Java as Javascript one more time I'll need someone to hold me back

Eh... I guess @No-One, @Someone and @Everyone are close enough... Now we just need @Anybody

When the client says "I just need a really easy edit, shouldn't take more than a few minutes."

*in my head* "Oh really? Can you do it? No? Then don't tell me how easy it is going to be to find the one line of code I need to edit out of thousands of lines in hundreds of files."

Boss: don't worry about the architecture, it's an one-off project, just make it work...

2 months later...

Boss: hey, remember that one-off project? we need to add in a few more features... Also can we reuse that code for this new one-off project we have to do for this new client?

I need one of these shirts! 😂

Load from one of my company servers.
HO LY SHIT...

We need scaling. Fast. Really fast.

THIS IS ALL WE NEED!
One chance!!

!dev

Honestly I love the summer (hate the cold) but motherfucker, hyperhidrosis is a fucking bitch (not diagnosed but one doesn't need to be a genius to figure this one out in my case)

😥

Client be like: I need a simple app. Should take only one week.
App: I need a Facebook clone will all functionality. :)
Estimated budget: 20$

Obligatory DevRant sticker post. Cheers from Bulgaria, bowl of shkembe to scale.

I got 2 sets (one for free).

Now I need a place to stick'em.

Boss : Need very very little change on our project
Dev : Ok, what is the change?
Boss : This, this, this, this and just this one.
Dev : Really very very little.

It's happening! Just need one more

Boss: do you remember the other team? we need to fix one of their bugs

Me: amm, okey np

Boss: do it when you have time, but don’t forget to finish your things first.. and we need that fix by the end of the day.

Me: //what a beautiful monday <3

Am i the only one feeling the need for a facebook darktheme?

!rant

Anyone see one of there favs here 😬, need a devrant sticker now

I'm done with dumb girls😠 ! seriously I need a geek girl in my life to understand what I talk or what I share .... A dev girl right now would be awesome ..😃

When the last battery of one of your phones die. And you don't want waste more money with a new one.
But you need to perform a backup.

New boss: So, you'll do just some coding, we just need to restructure current DB.
Me: Ok

One month later...
Boss: So, we are creating new LMS in WORDPRESS (yeah, fcking wordpress) so you'll do this and that and...
Me: Oh, well I like challenges so let's see.

Another month later...
Boss: WE NEED OFFLINE MOBILE APP THAT WILL DOWNLOAD WHOLE FUCKING WP WITH EVERY SINGLE VIDEO AND EVERYTHING AND STUDENT WILL LEARN FROM THAT. WE ARE OPENING IT IN ONE MONTH.

Look, icon pack. We need to talk about devRant. You're getting to that age where you need to be respectful, especially towards such a wonderful app. Could you maybe go to the effort of having some icon, even if it's just a simple one? Thanks.

Linkedin in my home country is a clown fiesta. I swear to god if I see just one more post about "unpaid internships" I'mma shoot the whole block I don't care anymore.

IF I WANTED TO WORK FOR FREE I'D BE DOING CHARITY FOR THOSE WHO NEED, NOT UNPAID WORK FOR THOSE WHO HAVE NO NEED

I HATE TESTING DB MIGRATIONS! SHIT TAKES BLOODY FOREVER!

This one takes 20 freaking minutes each attempt, and I need to run it. yet again.

$@%&!

You know a devOps/sysadmin is doing their job and a good one when you dont need them

Not the declaration I deserve, but the one I need right now.

I seriously can't get why people don't get user experience right my designer just put in two search bars, one in the at the top of the home page and one I the header .... why do you need both 😒

COMMON SENSE PLEASE

LPT: If you use Linux, always carry another one in your pocket (flash drive) in case you'd need to fix your main one after you kill it again

Trying to run a process on each CPU thread in our vps only to find that our vps has just one CPU and no multi threading. :/

We need an upgrade.

I’m waiting visual studio 2015 for 3 hours and another one for this program devexpress because we need to learn it at my bootcamp

2017 doesn’t even took 30 min to finish up

"But...it works locally", said the tired dev who hasn't had his morning coffee yet. It's going to be one of those days.

I've designed an icon for my app, its a messenger for couples.

Need a review about this one.

Any suggestions about color etc would be great.

When a library has all the documentation you'll ever need with all the configuration options but doesn't contain one fucking example on how to put it all together...

Me: We need to move to Vue
My Friend: Why?
Me: Because it's One Piece!!!!

I so need one of these! 😴💻

Ubuntu One decided I am a bot and won't let me log in. Well, fuck you! I don't need you anymore.

Dev: The requirement is not clear. This seems to be a general usecase which you are thinking we might need but we won't actually need it.

Manager: You have to do it. This is the requirement. No other option. Don't ask any questions.

...... One week later....

Manager: Why is the team not open to me?

To register for Facebook's hacker cup.

Fuck you 1:
I need a Facebook account

Fuck you 2:
I need to enter my address and phone number mandatorily. Because they'll send me a t shirt if I win one. It's not like anyone would not win a t shirt or not want one right? So fucking slurp away at all their privacy data any way.

Here's my address for you facebook

No 666, fuck you street, privacypolis, fuckington offville.

Enjoying this! Just need red keyboard to complete it 😍
(Mouse: Trust GXT 105, controller: Afterglow for Xbox One)

When I need cash, sometimes I go to my clients and sell them "security updates"...

I am a one (wo)man Mafia!

Tuesday.
Director: we need to add our partner's project to our ci pipeline
CTO: we need to add ci to this repo, it should work via this tool (not the one we use now)
PM: we need to use this new tool, figure it out until Friday
TL: we need to move all our projects to this new ci tool, don't ask, the task is given by CTO
Me: okay

Friday.
Me: everything is ready except for this one old project
TL: we couldn't use it for one of our projects
PM: we had difficulties with the new tool
CTO: we couldn't add our partner's project to the pipeline
Director: *gives me a warning for being incompetent*

Don't need a cat as an avatar. I already have a real one!

Oh come on... Does even ecosia need to craft their truth. First party trackers aren't that better than third-party...
At least there is only one url to block. Easy.

I think I need another one

“I need one fullstack engineer”

“Ok, what exactly do you need?”

“Javascript, Nodejs, C/C++, CUDA, Andible, RabbitMQ. Oh, and I need him/her now until end of February”

Don’t we all just love these kind of discussions?

I guess you only need one of this after a long week.

Could people that want a stressbal that badly, just buy one?

Lets say the community grew with 15%. So if your rant first had to be "100 funny" to get 150++, you still need "100 funny" to get 175++.

Conclusion: you don't need to be more funny to get a stressbal. releived?

Besides that, it's free, be grateful

Friend: 'im really anxious, i need a job this summer and i dont know if i can find one with my stack'
Me:'why, whats your stack?'
Friend:'php, mysql, javascript'
Me:'...DUDE'

What more does one need...

Every time I get a new screen, it's good for about a few days before I realise I need another one.

How many monitors is too many?

Pic related (Dream setup?)

I have read everything available about blockchains and I still didn't understand why a company should need one.

I don't know if the problem is me or them

When you really need that code review and no one is getting back to you.

Why is it that every library has some kind of an "example", but every time I need a more complex one, there are exactly zero

Need One .....

It's just one of those 'need 3 coffees before I even consider starting anything' kinda days today...

Fucking recruiters. When you say "multiple languages" and I ask for clarification, saying "multiple languages and you need to know object oriented design" again doesn't clarify things one bit

We seem to have a problem, if I leave the 50k club, there'll be no one in the 50k club 😦

Come on you 40k clubbers, you need to pick up the slack!

Fuck academics! End semester exams are ucking waste of time ! Just need to study one night before and on exam ay 'vomit' all my memory onto the paper. Fuck it. I AM done.

Am I the only one around here thinking that the best UI is CLI??

Why would anyone need anything else?

One more for VS Code, because sometimes you don't need a full blown IDE.

If only it could print.

Need a BSOD dump file for a projekt, so force my computer to make one 😁

Because one believes in oneself; one doesn't try to convince others.

Because one is content with oneself; one doesn't need others approval.

Because one accepts oneself; the whole world accepts him.

- Lao Tzu

One of the popular hotel booking sites 😂😂.One more example for why need to take testing more serious when we have a huge users base 🙆

Why the fuck do some companies make it seem like you need them more than they need you? Also, what the fuck is with organizations who antagonize you when you make a small mistake? Do all of the good things we've done get thrown under the bus because of one mistake???? Fucking corporations!!!!!!!

Just need one more eye and I'll be all set.

They really need one..

I label myself as a graphic designer. I can't even make a decent-looking logo for my portfolio. I know I don't need one but it's annoying.

My work gave me three laptops because not one of them can access all the resources I need. So I have to balance my workflow around these three machines.

Name The Song.
One a side note, what do you listen to while coding? Do you need absolute silence to code?

hAhA cHroMiuM eAtS rAm hAhA I nEeD 1tb rAm to rUn onE tAb

This is two tabs by the way

I feel like a lot of devs, last years self included.

Need to realize, a great Dev is not necessarily one that Ace in code.

But rather one that can convey and understand the problems they're to solve and more importantly the perspective of the end user.

Welcome to your new feature, oh wait, no, we need you to work on that feature. Whoops, sorry, that one needs to be done....

Is that new feature finished yet?

This is a classic example of "We need to justify our Dev's salaries so we made a bunch of changes in the name of innovation."

Why did they have to do this? I miss the old design where one swipe from the top had 5 icons, one for wifi, one for mobile data, one for Bluetooth, one for battery saver and one for flashlight. If you wanted to access something extra, one more pull and you'd get all of the notification tray options.

Now these fucking things take up half of the screen. Absolutely worthless design.

It's one of those days where I just need to let it it out. I'M A FUCKING IMPOSTER.

but I'm going to keep learning anyway. 👺

Anyone have the experience where you are learning a new programming language and you are eager to do stuff with it but you need to use another one for your job? So frustrating!

!rant
I need a new OS.
I have one year of Kubuntu, one year of Fedora KDE and there years of Arch Linux (Openbox, KDE, i3wm).

Now I'm undecided between debian and Arch Linux as a stable System.

What do you guys recommend me?

I hate picking huge software from AUR and need to compile it, but i hate having always a, yes stable package, but under versioned...
(and, exist a Debian minimal without everything Archstyle?)

Definitely 'ditto' this is one of the best tool for every programmer.

It's a multi clipboard-history where you can store more then one item. You never need to think: 'what's last thing in my clipboard. Do I still need it?'

One shall not code while tired. Sigh, stupid little retarded bug. I really need some sleep...

Shower Thought

With enough keyboard shortcuts, one can eliminate the need of using a mouse.

When you hardly socialize and you need to share that one joke:

You will only need one. But which one? 🤔

I hate dependencies... I'm stuck on a project because I need to wait for some one else to provide specs and access to their API.... And well I was also given a deadline...

Jesus fuck. Why does anyone thing you need a factory pattern when you have only one single class you create...

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck!

I threw out the container with all my SATA cables instead of old chargers.

Only have a 10CM one left and need a 15!

Ugh, now to wait a week for a new one to come -,-

Fucking hours counting systems.
One of the hardest part of consulting job is to put hours into fucking table.

One of those solutions is so smart that when I make mistake I need to call manager to unlock the input.
My friend from work compared it to playing saper.

Some of those systems work only in IE.
Some of those run java inside browser.
Some I need to be in company domain others I need to logout from company domain.

I see the amazing articles about those amazing software solutions, still opening IE and running java to put digit into text input or pick number from select.
Fucking nightmare.

I need to buy a laptop to replace my 5 year old one. My work is mostly in data science. My budget is really flexible. Any suggestions?

Whoever programmed ATMA's roomba-style device… you really really need to improve your skills!
Yes… my room is L-shaped, but that doesn't mean one of the arms of the L doesn't need cleaning!! 😒

Me: "when do you need this for?"
Them: "yesterday!hahahahahahhah"
Me: " :| Never heard that one before"

Serious dumb thoughts.

Why do we need different languages when we can make changes or build libraries for one and make it better.

I need a cloning machine for those days when 3 clients call support for top priority issues and each one needs it in the next 20 minutes

We need a thread dedicated to just debating tabs vs spaces and light vs dark themes, every third post is about one of them!

When you set your Windows machine up the right way, but the ONE time you actually need IE for testing and you realise...

Your past self is way too good for you...

Am I the only one who doesn't really see feel or need as an insult? Geek means someone who "messed around" with tech and need is someone who is smart. Why do people get offended by it? I mean, I get that people mean it offensively but is it really something to get that upset about? If someone was to call me a geek or need. Imma walk with my head high and own it.

What a nice day. We've been working on this for the past few hours. All we need is just one PCI-E extender. Well, halfway through, there was one tiny cable from 12V rail touching something else. Result: one probably dead GTX 1060

"Yep, I think I finally see the end of the project, we will be able to finish this, I just quickly need to add a simple UI on top of it and a simple admin page" - what this usually meant, that I am nowhere near anything usable, I have just created the database structure. What would have happened, if I would have actually been honest with my bosses and would have asked for more help? 😟

Trying to find that one line of php you need to change in a magento project

App/design/frontend/base/default/template/this/is/not/gonna/be/the/template/youre/looking/for/fuckyou.phtml

Not bad for a test over WiFi 😮
Still, how I long for fiber... Then I won't need to use a VPN to boost my speed lol... Not that I'll stop using one...

after months using dual monitor at office, deep inside myself i feel the need to add one more.

Hey! It wouldn’t hurt if you were plugged into this meeting. Oh, and also this one, and this one, and this one, and this one, and this one, and this one, and this one, and this one, and this one, and this one, and this one, and this one, and this one, and this one, and this one, and this one, and this one, oh this one too, and maybe that one and this one, and this one, and this one, and this one.

Oh, cancel the one I sent you, need you here instead.

Tomorrow: why aren’t your projects done?

Whenever you feel the need to rant about your project manager, always remember you'd wish you had one if you reported directly to the CEO.

Need one of those

Need motivation as a starting point. Forget about finishing side projects, need the motivation to start one first!

Need help, Day-ta vs. Dat-uh. Which one is it?(data)

When you need to buy a new notebook because the old one is full of stickers and your devrant stickers just arrived :-) Thanks!

I just got my first eyeglasses and my monitor is so small, I'll need to buy a bigger one xd, also I feel like I'm about to vomit...

When you have friends that have no idea how to use a computer.

Dave: Dude, I need some RAM

Nathan: Ram? You need a goat?

Dave: Sigh, Back to square one...

Cargo cult programming at its finest. I need to build a separate project twice, and restart visual studio to get this one to work.

Why? No one knows anymore and there is not user story for "Unfuck the dev environment" so we're not allowed to spend time fixing it.

I asked at an interview if they documented their code with class diagrams.
One of the interviewers told me: "Good code doesn't need a class diagram"

...

*TRIGGERED*

So my phone got stolen last night. FOR FUCK SAKE. I scrape together enough money to get another cheap phone after the last one broke, and now I need YET ANOTHER ONE WHEN I HAVEN'T GOT A JOB AND CAN'T APPLY FOR ONE WITHOUT ARGRFHUJGHIOSDJGBH:USKDGHISD:

You know how we mock recruiters for not knowing anything...
I wonder if they have an app where they mock developers ... Probably not they'd need one of us to build it.

Howdy, guess who's back motherfuckers?

Which one of you developed this utter piece of shit called Optimizely/EpiServer? We need to talk.

When your team has only one shared testing device, but everybody seems to need it at the same time 😖

I need internet but no phone calls during night, so plane mode is not the it.

*activating the silent mode.
*wake up one hour later at the morning.

oh..

If I have to train one more person, or answer the same question for the 100 times I'm gonna loose it. I just want...need to code

When my company decided they needed i18n cause we had one Japanese customer so we need to support multiple languages. And the customer churned after we released the Japanese version of the app

One of the times where i need hours to prove that an error in production is not our fault, because i do not have the rights to use the tools on the productionserver.

I finally got one of these boards, I still need to figure what to track on it, I already have a planner with me for my day to day

any suggestions?

What kind of hardware do i need that vscode doesnt hang up all 5 minutes on linux ???? Isnt a one year old i7 and 32gb of ram enough ? WHY
I fkin hate it -_-

Am I the only one who needs to get in the zone to program efficiently? I need to listen to some rock / metal and be in my trousers at around midnight, then I can program for 6 hours straight without standing up. I feel like I need to stand up and walk every 30 minutes at work 😅

When you find that one critical piece of documentation that you need causally mentioned in a github comment somewhere. They'll never know how happy they made me :D

Fucking excel...
I opened up my CSV and changed values in one column... You fucking didn't need to take it in yourself to change all of my dates in another column to one you prefer, they were fucking fine!

When you search for 'Microsoft startup program' and it only returns articles that show you how to add or remove startup programs from windows.

*sigh*

What the fuck is up with all these vpn articles. It seems like they are everywhere. It's like get this vpn, no buy this one, wait no buy this one. Like I don't need a fucking vpn and it's not a must have.

Just learnt Vue js. Now I need to learn a backend framework. Django or Node js? Which one should I learn?

Work on projects that produce something that solves one of my existing problems.

Also dev environment matters. One of those hackers desk setups would be fine. Nothing too fancy, just need a functional one.

One that understands one's need for distraction-free work area in exchange for producing quality. Also, encourages research, uptraining, and learning.

Want to end a game in unity - need to focus only on one or two projects at the same time

What big set of fucken steel balls does one need to just clap your notebook without closing your porn?

I need a new phone.

Should I buy the oneplus 6?
Why (not)? Or what other smartphone should I buy?

Still on the oneplus one since 3 years, it's time for a new one.

So today we had a meeting with the owners of a product we're supposed to deliver a frontend for.

They started by stating their requirements, "we need this to be animated, we need this to be an image, we need a button here...."

Then my colleague asked the one question you should never ask to a person using need that frequently, "what browsers do you intend to support"

"We need to support IE6"

.... FML

Gotta go with CSGO... aleays there when I need a break heh... one match always becomes many matches...

Question: when modeling a language using a nondeterministic finite state machine, do I have to add a "trash" state, if a deterministic one would need one or can it just be obmited and if so why?

I‘m currently writing a http proxy server (something like the proxy mod in Apache, but more special). One the one hand is is nice that HTTP 1.1 can use one TCP connection multiple times, but on the other hand it is very annoying. Because I need to rewrite the Host header. And therefore I need the start of the HTTP header. I solved it after some time, but now my code is more complicated than before.

Godaddy. Do I need to say more? Theyre hosting >30k websites on one machine and one of them is the one of one of our customers. I can't upload a file >1mb and the site takes 2 minutes to load.

When I need to ask my boss something...
Jesus... This guy explains you 3 HOURS long on why you need this cable and why you cant use another one, and he wants you to write it down... Every. Single. Word...

Be patient seem to be basic, but after many hors of unsucessfull code i'ts a challenge.
So take a break if your need one.

started to rewrite one of my functional-but-horrible projects. after 2 hours i realize i'm starting to use the same kind of "if it works, great" style.
jesus, i need some sleep.

Hey guys, quick one.

Frontend guys,
I need some CSS library that I can use for project I need do ASAP.

I have +- 1h to learn it, I need frontend and I need it NOW. It can be ugly. Prefered flex grid or sth along these lines. But please, if it has more than 15 minutes of reading through doc's its disqualified.

Any suggestions?
Im backend guy and know no shit about frontend.

NoJs. No Jquery. No JS. Nope. Im not having time for any line of shenanigans of JS.

Thx; peace.

Got home exhausted the other day. Told my non-tech wife that I have a lot to do. She asked, if she could do anything for me I need. I said: "Well, I need a network aware LoggerComponent." She replied: "Is that something I could paint?" My facial expression let her burst out in laugher within one second.

Need a new business name idea for a web based software house. We are 2 weeks into choosing one and no progress :D help!

If you got job offers from Uber and IBM. Which one you would choose?

This would be my first big name company. Need advice. 🤷🏻‍♂️

Rant to myself: Don't try to be too smart, you dipshit!

3 weeks ago I packed 2 small changes in one commit, because I was sure (and obviuosly lazy) that no one will ever need these special changes separate.

Guess what happened today? Right, I had to make a change on an old version and needed the one half of this commit.
Cherry-picking ended up in changes I don't need and furthermore some nice collisions.

Thank you very much, past me, for saving 2 minutes 3 weeks ago, which now wastes half an hour.

Damn, the struggle was real, but I finally succeeded to install ubuntu on this fucking computer. Now I need to buy a decent keyboard. Any idea for a good, cheap one ?

Just got reminded wgy switch statements are usually frowned upon.
Forgot the breaks; i spent quite possibly, an hour trying to figure out why my button wouldn't update with my state properly 😭😭

My city's subway has one of these;
I wonder why the tickets gate need Windows XP to work :|

I was told during my midyear that I need to start working on my "AWS certification." Hmmmm. OK. Since there isn't one for a DBA, I guess I'm going to become an SA.

"It’s art if it can’t be explained. It’s fashion if no one asks for an explanation. It’s design if it doesn’t need explanation." - Wouter Stokkel

Why?? just why is it that analytics engineer requires SQL and talking to product managers?
Where is the whole corporate chain when you need one?

I just love sudo. You need to delete one stupid locked file that's not even locked, but the damn terminal isn't capable to check twice. When you delete the files recursively however, sudo loves you so much it takes the folder as its own, so... I need to remove another thing now! Sure! Why not!

I hate that when developing on Windows I need like four different terminals. CMD, MINGW64/Cygwin/MSYS2, PowerShell. Each one has different functionality:
CMD - basic Windows commands
MINGW64 - emulates Linux terminal with frequent Linux commands and great support for Git
Powershell - access Windows COM, .NET etc.

Now there are solutions that attempt to solve this like Cmder (which is just more user-friendly ConEmu). These are console emulators which wrap all these in one window (with multiple tabs). But they are slow as hell. I have to wait like 10 seconds each time I start a terminal in Cmder, because the emulators need to run some huge startup scripts. But I just need to run one command from this one freaking folder!

Eventually I end up having like 30 different terminal windows open, each one different in functionality and each time I need to do something I must think about which terminal I need and in which folder. Furthermore I have to think about whether to run the terminal as administrator, but I usually forget that, so I have to close the terminal and reopen as admin. Why don't you just add something like su or sudo, Microsoft?

You know your life is fucking with you, when you need to start your college project from square-fucking-one again, for the forth time & looking through devRant isn't improving your mood. 😐

One of my supervisors once said: "A computer without mutable state is just a glorified electrical heater."

Meaning that at some level you'll need some mutability.
A processor/memory unit without mutability is not worth very much, except if you want to build a new one for every clock tick...

Definitely going to need one of these buckets for the fuck load of bugs my latest application is going to put in it...

Keyboard.....
Which one? Mechanical? Regular?
Any recommendations? Only thing I need is it to be silent and not glow like a lamp. Mostly for coding work stuff, 0 gaming.

Here I try to install a package locally. If the package doesn't install, I try to install every single word of the output from the failed install. Maybe one of those words will install an unmet dependency.

function install() {
need=$1
apt-get source $need && cd $need
c="./configure --prefix=$HOME/tmp"
m="make && make install"
eval set $($c)$($m)
if [ -x "$(command -v $need)" ]
cd ..
return 0
fi
for i
do install $i
done
}

How do I get myself a mentor, a developer specifically. I seriously need one. I'm a junior dev btw.

That moment when you find the easiest part of the task you need to do is the one you are struggling with!

The codebase is so screwed up that I need to write code in one repository and tests in another.

Opendht's gotta be one of the best software i ever worked with. Easy to set up, has a sane api, the documentation covers most topics ill ever need.

Just one more layer of wrappers.

I thought CSS supposed to style the document , but now I need to change the document to get styled properly

The most stressful day of month.
I need to put hours into hour counting programs so computer can analyze those hours using deep learning algorithms and pay me a wage I don't deserve.

Each program work differently.
One of it works inside the local company network.
Other one I need to connect outside from company network.
In all of them I can't make mistake or I need to write to someone to fix my mistakes.
One of this programs use java applet, other is simple php website.
One of them blocks row in calendar when I click so when I login again and click I can't edit this row because it's locked by me who is editing this row.
One of them is requesting me to provide my work in minutes.
I need to follow strict procedures to report any holidays or national holidays that I need first figure out when they happen.
Wish me luck.

I use my phone as webcam. It’s higher quality, and it allows me to have my laptop’s cam taped over.

Unfortunately, not every one of us can organize their life in a way that doesn’t require using a webcam. Sometimes, you need one.

Yes, I know there are laptops with built-in webcam slider. Mine is not one of them.

Should I be even be testing if no one cares.

I keep asking Devs regarding the functionalities of their system for testing and then, realize it's already on Prod even before I test in beta or enable to test in beta.

Do I exist!!!

Now, for the nth time, I have started to test when things are almost there or already there in Prod.

I should keep myself in adrenaline mode always on from now on.

Need to do something worthy.

The worst way to start a new job.

My dream project is one which will calm devs' atmosphere, to create a cool interface between a dev and some fucking PMs, dont really need to interact with them at the 'backend'

Ok devs, need your help a little bit. Planning on buying a laptop. I'm confused between these two:
1) System76 Serval WAS
2) MacBook pro

Which one should I get and why? Need your opinion. Also, open to any other suggestions.

What is the gist of a function point analysis of a mobile app? I need to do one and have 2 days to learn what it is

Learning rust or go. Not sure which one yet, but I'm really interested in giving both a shot at some point. I just need to decide which one first, and build something nice with it.

Will probably go for another AWS certificate too, probable Architect associate.

Developing Java is like breakfast. You have many fruit jam JARs and you need to decide which one to choose.

When I started at a new job and couldn't find the CMDB. I asked one of the so-called experts if it was true that we didn't have one, and he confirmed. "We don't need one," he said. "We have puppet!"

Thousands of servers. Hundreds in our own little silo. No CMDB at all. What the fuck?

One of my colleagues "added" a feature to one of our products yesterday then went on holiday for 2 days. MD wants us to ship tomorrow and I've been left with the responsibility of testing it. I spent most of the afternoon getting it to build.

I need a new job.

What are some iconic Windows Vista-era laptops? I need one for my collection.

What a magnificent error description, one won't need anything else to fix the bug.

FUCK MS AND ITS FUCKING NOT SORTET WEBSITE WHERE YOU HAVE TO DOWNLOAD A FUCKING INSTALLER WHICH INSTALLS PLENTY OF PROGRAMMS I DONT FUCKING NEED AND NOT THE ONE I NEED

!!rant
Elasticsearch! First time touching it and need to find out on my own how to build an index that allows a weighted multi field fuzzy search on four fields where two needs to be full ngram, one ngram on the words and one standard search + not index any other field. The documentation is horrible! Just realizing that this is what I need took me 2 days!

The way the responsive design says that Google has a "Guide for Existing"

God, I need one of those!