Installed Linux on an old windows laptop. This is my conversation 5 minutes ago...

Wife: "Have how you got internet?"
Me: "What do you mean, it has a wireless adapter built in?"
Wife: "But it's not Windows?"

WTF!!!

Me: "Pass my phone, this is going on devRant"
Wife: "Please no, not again"

Seriously, why? WHHHYYYY?

US-date-format sucks, every FUCKING TIME!

The only time I really notice is when the "month" is larger than 12:

05/13/2017
"5th of Dec... oh. Fuck. Not this shit again..."

(It makes no sense. Absolutely none.)

So the person from my previous rant actually tried to make AI in HTML.

Person: I made that AI in HTML today!

Me: Oh really?

Person: Yup. *Opens HTML site*

It was a site that

1) Used JavaScript
2) Was a prompt(), and after answering it alerts "Yes" or "No" randomly.

Me: That's not AI

Person: Uhh yeah it is. It uses a neural network to answer!

Me: Actually, a neural network is a dot product of an input and vectors that are refined using partial derivatives.

Person: Yeah! That's what Math.random() and alert() do!

I left that room as quickly as I could (yet again).

This is a fun conversation I had:

Test Engineer: 😑 The test bench burst into flames.
Me: 😪😲 Do what now?
TE: 😐 The test bench burst into flames. It made a pretty impressive fire ball.
Me: 😮 . . . How are you so calm about this?
TE: 😐 Well it's not on fire now.
Me: 😶 Good point.
TE:😧 made me mad as hell though.
Me: 😕 why's that?
TE: 😬 Cuz I only had one damn step left in that test procedure and it was to turn the damn test bench off.
Me: 🤔 Correct me if I'm wrong but the test bench is off is it not?
TE: 😐 Well yeah.
Me: 🤔 and you caused it to be turned off by your actions no?
TE: 😕 . . . yeah . . .
Me:🤔 sounds like you turned it off to me.
TE: 😒
Me: 🙂
TE: 😐
Me: ☺
TE: 😑
Me: 😎
TE: 😐 but it won't turn on again.
Me: 🤔 do you have a requirement to be able to turn it on again after you turn it off?
TE: 😑 It's implied.
Me: 😐 not what I asked
TE: 😧 No not explicitly.
Me: 😎 sounds like you completed the test procedure.
TE: 😑
Me: 😎
TE: 😑
Me: 😎
TE: 😧 that's not how it works.
Me: 😎 doesn't it?
TE: 😑 No.
Me:😎
TE: *walks away* 😧😧😧
Me: *turns back to computer* well I was just trying to help YOU out 😒

I am the best at interpersonal communication.

Root ain't givin' no fucks no mo'

My boss just demanded that I join a conference call. So, I call in, and there's three other people there.

He starts chewing me out for talking with some vendor directly (their VP emailed me directly and asked for a few things, and i was instructed to make him happy). Apparently I used "confusing wording" and "did not talk his language." Bossman was really getting into gear for a ten-minute berating.

It turns out that the guy in question only read half of my first email, and totally ignored the second email where I told him everything was finished and live and working. I told my boss quite bluntly that the guy should have read what I had written, and that he was an idiot. The boss's defense of the guy? "Well, he's a sales guy." I just laughed at him.

Later, bossman started in on me (once again) for not making enough progress on this ridiculous shared-spreadsheet sales tool he wants, saying "We discussed this a week ago!"

I casually reminded him that we had talked about it for the first time ever on Friday night (today is Tuesday), and he had said it wasn't going to be a priority for the next three weeks(!). Again he stopped in his tracks. Again, I laughed at him.

Guy's a tool and I'm so done with caring.

Root's going to be flippant and angry. Root's going to have fun (:

What's he gonna do, fire me? 😂

A wild Darwin Award nominee appears.

Background: Admins report that a legacy nightly update process isn't working. Ticket actually states problem is obviously in "the codes."

Scene: Meeting with about 20 people to triage the issue (blamestorming)

"Senior" Admin: "update process not working, the file is not present"
Moi: "which file?"
SAdmin: "file that is in ticket, EPN-1003"
Moi: "..." *grumbles, plans murder, opens ticket*
...
Moi: "The config dotfile is missing?"
SAdmin: "Yes, file no there. Can you fix?"
Moi: "Engineers don't have access to the production system. Please share your screen"
SAdmin: "ok"
*time passes, screen appears*
Moi: "ls the configuration dir"
SAdmin: *fails in bash* > ls

*computer prints*
> ls
_.legacyjobrc

Moi: *sees issues, blood pressure rises* "Please run list all long"
SAdmin: *fails in bash, again* > ls ?
Moi: *shakes* "ls -la"
SAdmin: *shonorable mention* > ls -la

*computer prints*
> ls -la
total 1300
drwxrwxrwx- 18 SAdmin {Today} -- _.legacyjobrc

Moi: "Why did you rename the config file?"
SAdmin: "Nothing changed"
Moi: "... are you sure?"
SAdmin: "No, changed nothing."
Moi: "Is the job running as your account for some reason?"
SAdmin: "No, job is root"
Moi: *shares screenshot of previous ls* This suggests your account was likely used to rename the dotfile, did you share your account with anyone?
SAdmin: "No, I rename file because could not see"
Moi: *heavy seething* so, just to make sure I understand, you renamed a dotfile because you couldn't see it in the terminal with ls?
SAdmin: "No, I rename file because it was not visible, now is visible"
Moi: "and then you filed a ticket because the application stopped working after you renamed the configuration file? You didn't think there might be a correlation between those two things?"
SAdmin: "yes, it no work"
Interjecting Director: "How did no one catch this? Why were there no checks, and why is there no user interface to configure this application? When I was writing applications I cared about quality"
Moi: *heavy seething*
IDjit: "Well? Anyone? How are we going to fix this"
Moi: "The administrative team will need to rename the file back to its original name"
IDjit: "can't the engineering team do this?!"
Moi: "We could, but it's corporate policy that we have no access to those environments"
IDjit: "Ok, what caused this issue in the first place? How did it get this way?!"

TFW you think you've hit the bottom of idiocy barrel, and the director says, "hold my mango lassi."

Do not continue reading if you value your life.

Visual fucking studio 2015 installation. MOTHERFUCKER !!!

OK new project will only work on VS2015. Need to download it. OK, go to MS website. Project works with community edition. Fucking great. Download the installer. Run the installer. MOTHERFUCKER DON'T OPEN THE FUCKING BROWSER TO THANK ME, YOU FUCKING FUCK. Ok...Wait to download the packages. One fucking eternity later download completes. FUCKING GREAT. Proceed to package installation. After two fucking hours installation progress bar stays the same. Google "vs 2015 installation stuck windows 7". MOTHERFUCKING BACKGROUND PROCESS IS FUCKING STUCK AND INSTALLATION DOES NOT CONTINUE. FUCK YOU. I'VE LOST TWO HOURS. OK, stop the process. Installation gets cancelled. Run the installer again. STOP THANKING ME YOU PIECE OF SHIT :@ OK, check again all downloaded packages. All good. Continue with installation. Installation completes. MOTHERFUCKER WHY YOU WANT TO RESTART THE WHOLE SYSTEM ? FUCK YOUR WINDOWS UPDATES. Ok, restart and be done with it. SSD to the rescue. Try to set up the project.

MOTHERFUCKER I DIDN'T INSTALL THE C++ PACKAGES. WTF WERE YOU DOING ALL THAT TIME? OK, run installer again and install C++ packages. I SWEAR TO GOD MICROSOFT, IF YOU THANK ME ONE MORE GODDAMN TIME, YOU'RE GETTING HATE MAIL.

Ok, installation completes. It's coding time. NO BITCH. VS2015 silently crashes after splash screen. :@@@ Google wtf is wrong again, turns out the C++ packages fuck shit up. Ok, pass some arguments to devenv.exe to reset. Restart VS. Ok, seems to be working now. Make a test project. Fucking awesome. Close VS and get the project files from perforce.

OK, files downloaded. Open VS again....

VS: "You're my bitch, you won't code today. Run from console and pass some shitty reset parameters"

YOU FUCKING FUCK. GO FUCK YOURSELF UP YOUR FUCKING ARSE. Ok, pass the parameters from console. Run again. Same "you're my bitch message" :@ OK, run with administrator rights, opens like charm. Run without admin rights again, "you're my bitch message". :@@@@@

Restart system, VS2015 finally opens project normally. Build project, 6934 errors.... :@ I'M DONE ! IM GOING BACK TO LINUX PROJECT. FUCK YOU ALL.

My most awkward recruiter interaction?

Just graduated college and got 'suckered' by an programming position ad that turned out to be a recruiting company. It was fine since they charge the company for their services and not me.
After a couple of weeks of waiting (they initially promised I would/could have at least 3 interviews a week, which hadn't happened.) I decided to start looking again on my own, found a position, and I was hired.

About two months later I get a phone call:

<skipping the pleasantries>
R: "I see you are working for D, congratulations. I've started the paperwork for our reimbursement."
Me: "Reimburse for what? I found that job on my own."
R: "D is one of the companies we work with and when we submitted your resume, they told us you were already hired."
Me: "And?"
R: "And you signed a contract and now its time to pay. The fees only start at $500"
Me: "Not me. I have the contract, it states, in the second paragraph, I am not responsible for any hiring fees."
<couple of seconds of silence>
R: "Yes, but that is only if we negotiated the contact. Since you went behind our back, we couldn't start the process"
Me: "And?"
R: "And its a breach of contract."
Me: "I'm not a lawyer, I don't understand what you're saying. It says right here on the contract I signed, I don't pay any fees. No where does it say I'm not allowed to look for a job on my own. Right?"
R: "Um..yea..right..right...but you were hired by one of our contracted companies."
Me: "No way I would have known that. Maybe you should have set up an interview long before now."
<R is getting pretty angry at this point>
R: "I'm sure we gave you list of companies we work with. Contacting those companies is a breach of contract. Unless you want our lawyers to get involved, the fee is only $500. Failing to honor your side of the agreement and we'll be forced to contact your employer and begin garnishing your wage until the fee is paid. You don't want that, do you?"
Me: "There was no list and I am allowed to find a job on my own. Again, I'm not responsible for you not setting up an interview so do whatever you think you can do. Have a good night"
<I hang up>

About a week later..

Boss: "Got a phone call from XYZ Recruiting requesting a wage garnishment. Do you know anything about that?"
<I explain the situation>
Boss: "Oh good grief. We've worked with them a couple of times and we contact them on an individual basis for new hires. You're fine"
Me: "You're not going to garnish my paycheck?"
Boss: "No no no, that's not how this works. He was probably trying to scare you into paying their crazy fees."
Me: "What if they get their lawyers involved? I don't want to cause any trouble"
Boss: "Ha ha...XYZ Recruiting is a couple of guys in an office and we have lawyers on the 3rd floor who eat and breath this shit. They know that and you won't hearing from them again."

I was just scrolling down a Facebook feed and a part of a picture with Linus Torvalds appeared.

- Hell no! Not again, 2016, just fuck off already!!

And then... "Happy birthday!"

My heart skipped a beat...

Fuck Microsoft.

No, not in any relation to windows this time.

Dear Microsoft, why on earth did you put us on your spam blacklist? There haven't been any spam attacks from our side, our servers have nearly the highest 'reputation' that email servers can get, we comply to all security standards and yet you're blacklisting us.

If for some reason you think something is wrong at our side anyways, we've tried to contact you and we either get ignored or get a very late response saying that we'll get delisted again within a day/week or whatsoever.

Microsoft, please go fuck yourself.

Also a big “fuck you” to whoever decided under any circumstance holding the power button down on a computer case meant anything other than shut this mother fucker all the way down and try the fuck again.

Gahhh. When I hold the power button I don’t what you to sleep, I want you to die! I’m electronically smothering your bitch ass. When I’m holding down the power button to restart, the computer should feel like it’s being waterboarded! Like these may be it’s last moments on Earth if it doesn’t act right and get in compliance! No it’s not nap time, it’s time to shut up or shut down...forever!

Hey everyone,

During some backend improvements to the devRant infrastructure, some of our async queue processors (SQS) stopped working which caused many notifs to not go out/stop working. Unfortunately our alerting didn’t pick up on this since there were still queues being processed (just not specific ones) and some aspects of notifs working. Big apologies for this issue!

It is now resolved, and while very delayed, no notifications were lost and all were processed after the queue processors started up again. Sorry for the bulk notifs, but we wanted to make sure all that were supposed to go out went out.

Additional alerting will be put in place to prevent this from happening again.

Thanks for your patience!

HP Virtual Agent, you're about as useless as the fucking hardware that I'm troubleshooting. What part of fucking "Arch Linux" do you not understand?! Not everyone runs your fucking assumed OS choices - WanBLowS 7, 8 or 10. What's more, the hardware that I'm troubleshooting doesn't even support those bloody operating systems.

Long live HP and its random freezes due to poor thermal management. And long live Intel's fucking wireless drivers, that for no good reason disconnect after half an hour and require me to restart NetworkManager to (hopefully) get shit connected again. And long live those useless fucking "virtual assistants"!!!

Dev: Ok issue fixed, you just need to log out and back in again on your end to receive the fix

User: It’s still not working

Dev: Did you log out and in again?

User: No why would I want to do that?

Dev: It’ll reset your locally saved login information which is causing the issue

User: I thought you said the issue was fixed?

Dev: On our end yes, we just need you to reset your end in order to receive the fixed version

User: Look I have been dealing with this issue for 6 months. Fixing bugs are your responsibility. I have too much to do, you have to get this fixed. *click*.

Dev: Yeah you submitted the bug ticket yesterday night though

Email from users manager later that day: <User> is saying you are refusing to fix this bug. This is unacceptable. Fix it or else I will escalate this. Also there are other bugs we noticed today too, fixing them is absolutely critical!

Dev: …

Dev: What other bugs did you notice?

*no response for 2 weeks and then:

User: Hey you can close this ticket, the issue seems to have resolved itself.

Dev: ….muppet.

Me: So i've cloned the iOS project, i've run carthage, but it won't build.. Have I done something wrong?

Devs: Oh read this doc on github, we do loads of custom stuff. The depenedncy manager can't do it all by itself. You need to run `./scripts/boostrap.sh`

Me (another day): I've switched branches and i'm getting all these errors. Any ideas?

Devs: Ah this happens when someone modifies xyz. Read this pinned slack message. Run `./scripts/bootstrap.sh` again.

Me (another day): I've switched branches again, getting different errors, re-running boostrap didn't fix it.

Devs: Ah yeah, this happens when someone modifies abc. You need to run `./scripts/nuke.sh` and then boostrap when this happens.

Me (another day): Guys When I try to run the prod app its not building any ideas?

Devs: Ah yes have a look at this confluence link. You need to run `./scripts/setup_debug_release.sh`, then nuke, then boostrap and you'll be good.

Me: .... ok

Devs: Oh btw very important! do not commit any changes from `./scripts/setup_debug_release.sh`. It will break everything!

Me: ... no i'm sorry we have a much bigger problem than that. We need to talk ... like right now

Dev: I think we should send Dev2 for some training and certification

Manager: We do not train people or have them certified. When you train people and especially if you have them certified they always leave the company for better offers so we no longer do that.

Dev: So the plan is to have a the company operated by a bunch of untrained uncertified people?

Manager: 😡 You are being disrespectful again

So I've got a friend learning Java, using Eclipse.
I walk in one day and see him restarting his computer. I make nothing of it. Few minutes later, he's restarting again.
I jokingly say "Windows update?"
He responds with the straightest face ever: "No, compiling code."

Apparently he thought you needed to restart the computer before compiling.
Not sure if I should be mortified or laughing my ass off.

Fuck these movie people:
You run "sudo apt-get update.." and you say we've got the signal. Your f*cking signal! Am sure someone even typed the password for you. I update my system every 5 minutes I have got no signal. F*ck you again. I'm not watching the movie again. P*ssing me off.

Once upon a time there was a dev.
The dev had a resume that said he could dev.
We called the dev, he sounded intelligent.
We hired the dev, who was a bit green, on a three month probationary period.
The dev did very little.
When asked, we said he contributed to discussions, but seemed unclear about what to do, and maybe they could keep him as an intern if they wanted to have him at all.
They hired him. As a full time dev.
6 months later, that dev was shocked to find we could log into the servers with a privileged account.
We (his team mates) were sad.
We asked him to fix a few prod errors.
A little while later he said "Done!"
We then had to walk him through how to actually fix them, not just add a couple pieces of info to the table.
We were sad, again.
We asked him to fix some prod errors again.
We had to walk him through the process again
We expressed concerns to our superiors about his abilities because he was all theory, no hands on ability
They promoted him
We were sad
A few of us said "Fuck you guys, I'm going home"
They said OK
Now that guy is the only one that "knows" that code base
I get calls sometimes asking me questions.
I told them to pay me a consultant fee.
They said no
I said no
They called again
I laughed at them

Listen to the people who know when you ask them questions.
Listen to the people who know when they tell you there is a problem
Don't be like that company

I hope you will forgive me for a third hand story, but I'm one of those evil developers, not a support per se. But I thought you'd enjoy this story anyway. So this happened to a colleague of a colleague:

$Hero - our hero. $Cop - A representative of our hard worked law enforcement agency.

So $Hero is happily speeding along in his car, running a few yellow lights a bit late, etc. Finally, the law catches up to him and pulls him over. Here's how the conversation went:

$Cop: Can I see your driving license, please?

$Hero (with smug grin): Certainly. Here it is, officer.

$Cop takes license back to motorcycle and speaks into radio.

$Hero: It's not going to help you any, though.

$Cop (with no reaction): What do you mean?

$Hero (with wider grin): The server you have to check it against is down.

$Cop (still no reaction): And why do you say that?

$Hero: Because I'm the guy they called to get on site and get it up again.

Our hero did not get a fine this time. Instead he got a police escort to his workplace.

Source: reddit r/talesfromtechsupport

Last half hour of last Friday my Cinnamon desktop started fucking up every time I booted after like 20 seconds of uptime.

Logs said something about xorg errors but after like 15 reboots I said fuck it.

Was quite nervous this morning because of that issue and possibly not being able to open a terminal for installing a different DE before everything started to get screwed again.

Booted up. No freezes. No errors. It just works.

I guess my computer needed weekend too 😋

@No-one asked me to make a devRant related waifu but I went "why not if devRant WAS the waifu"

and this was born while waiting for compiling code (again)

friend: so how are we gonna do this project together? download, edit then upload to google drive again. thats the fastest way.

me: how about git?

friend: what?

me: ill just create a repository and create branches before we merge it with master. no need to go through that process of downloading and uploading multiple times

friend: not sure... what... that.. is.....

me: oh we have a looooong way to go, ill guess ill have to teach u git right from the beginning

I... uhm... I... I can't... I ... I can't even.... THIS IS LIVE IN THE CLIENT'S SITE WHERE ANYONE CAN CREATE A LOGIN WITH NO VERIFICATION WHATSOEVER AND SEE THIS WHICH IS LINKED TO A BIG RED BUTTON THAT RESETS THE WHOLE DATABASE, YOU FUCKING DUMB PIECE OF SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

// This event clears the entire solution in all active clients, truncates the database and also removes any stored PDFs in the server folder
$(document).on('click', '#resetDB', function () {
// This event only happens if the user correctly enters the password, this is to prevent other users than the admin from performing this action
var answer = prompt("Please enter the password required to perform this action.");
if(answer == "-REDACTEDBECAUSEHOLYSHIT-") {
socket.emit('resetDB');
} else {
alert("The password is incorrect, please try again!");
}
});

AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!111!!1!!11!1!!1!1one!one!!!11

(I'm not inventing this, even though the "site" is internal only and not accessible through the web. That does *not* make it any less stupid!)

Root: Fleshes out missing data in some factories. Tests affected code and finds the change breaks some specs (but shouldn’t).

Root: Reaches out to spec author.

Root: Messages thundercunt (the ticket’s code reviewer) on slack about the specs and the reaching out. No response.

Root: Works on another ticket while blocked.

Root: Logs off.

Root: Talks with spec author chick in the morning. Decide to pair on specs later.

TC: Still no slack response.

Root: Gives update in standup. Mentions factories and broken specs. Mentions pairing with spec chick.

TC: Still no slack response.

Root: Pulled off tickets in favor of prod issue. Gets ignored by everyone else diagnosing prod issue. Investigates prod issue by herself. Discovers prod issue isn’t from bad code, but bad requirements — code works as requested. Communicates this with details. Gets ignored by people still diagnosing prod issue. Tries again. Gets ignored. Gives up. Works on non-blocked tickets instead.

TC: Still no slack response.

Hours later:

TC: Comments on PR telling me I broke specs (how did I not notice?), that I need to reach out to spec chick and work with her, and that I can’t resolve the ticket until it’s fixed and passes code review.

TC: Still no slack response. (21 hours later at this point)

TC: Logs off. Still no response (25 hours at this point)

———

Ignoring the prod issue for the moment…

I broke specs. No shit.
I need to talk with spec chick. No shit.
I can’t resolve the ticket. No shit!

Bitch, I told you all of this 21 fucking hours prior, and again 3 hours prior during standup. But no, I clearly “don’t communicate” and obviously have no bloody clue what I’m doing, either, so I need everything spelled out for me.

And no, I didn’t resolve the fucking ticket. Why the fuck would I if it still has pending changes? Do you even check? Ugh!

And what the fuck with that prod issue? I’m literally giving you the answer. fucking listen! Stupid cunts.

Why is it all of the women I work with are useless or freaking awful people? Don’t get me wrong, many of the men are, too, but I swear it’s every single one of the women. (Am I awful, too?)

Just. Ugh.
I can’t wait to leave this sewer of a company.

Oddly still a good day, though. Probably because I talked to recruiters and sent out my resume again.

HR: Hi we got your application. We'd like to schedule a call. Can you fill this out to pick a time?

Me: Sure, sorry first I'd like to ask a question. You are based on the other side of the country and i'm not able to relocate. Are you open to remote workers? Your job spec didn't mention either way.

HR: GREAT question! At this moment no we are not. We need people here on site. If you'd like, we can have a call to discuss if you fill out the form.

Me: ..... take time out of my day so you can tell me "No" again? ..... i'm alright thanks

Hubby and I work for the same company. His boss is a twat who's always trying to fire him. Told my hubby's boss he needed to be more clear with expectations and bring issues up before he gets pissed and can't respond appropriately. Then I walk away. Then I email him apologizing for taking to him and that I'm not planning to talk to him again.

That little bitch went to HR and said he felt threatened by me, demanded that I be required to work from home. My boss said no.

Aaaaaaahahahahahahahahahha 😂

"Hey, about that matter from yesterday..."
"Yes, what about that?"
"We need to talk about that again! How often do you trigger that system?"
"Once."
"You sure?"
"Yes, but i can check it, if you like."
*find references*
"See, only once."
"Can it happen at a random point later one?"
"No."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes"
"Can you check it?"
"Okay."
*shows code"
"Look here, as you can see, it will not happen at other times."
"Do you have an idea why it could happen anyway?"
"Maybe that system does the action without my software telling it to do so, wasn't that specified that way?"
"Yes, but it normally does that roughly 10 seconds after you give the command the first time, so we thought maybe you could say what makes it do the action at other points maybe."
"Did you check that systems sourcecode?"
"No not yet. But did that happen with the older version?"
"No. But we didn't try."
"Did you change something between the versions?"
"Yes, the new feature."
"Could that make a change in behaviour?"
"I don't see how."
"Can you remove that feature for test?"
"We can take the old version."
"No, we need the new version, but without the feature you added."
"That IS the old version, there is no other difference!"
"Are you sure?"
"Would you like to see it in source control?"
"No, ~ okay. What do you think causes the problem?"
"I haven't had any new ideas since we talked yesterday."
"Okay. Mhhh,...okay. Lets talk again later."

YES SURE! BRING IT ON! I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO THAT! PLEASE COME BY OR CALL ME AGAIN! AND BRING THE BOSS WITH YOU, TO SHOW HOW SERIOUS THE MATTER IS! LET ME TELL HIM THE STUFF I TOLD SEVEN TIMES LAST WEEK!

Wait what's that? You don't use version control on Production servers?
You want me to do what?
You want me to rename every file I have to replace with an underscore and the date after the extension so it looks like this?
SHIT.JAR_01262019
You've got to be fucking kidding me right!?
No?
Oh the production server is down again?
Is it because we're not using the right Jar file?
Well shit, I wonder why that's happening...

Dear "managers,"

Stealing credit for something you have not done is real theft.

When I come up with an idea and a detailed outline of how to build and deliver it, you do not get to say "oh I also had this idea." You did not. How could you? It uses tech you don't even know exists.

When I then proceed to build the whole thing on my own without any of your inputs (then again, you have no idea of how it works, what would you bring to the table), you don't get to parade my project in front of the board not even mentioning my name.

You see, it's not the first time you pull that off, you have taken full credit for every thing.

it's not just my wee feelings getting hurt for lack of recognition: it has real world consequences.

You get the promotion, you get the salary raise and you now live in a flat with a balcony and a view, while my wife and I share a studio as my salary has not budged.

You're a cunting thief, I hope your mom dies.

Best,

X

I applied for a backend job. Somehow i ended up doing frontend. Ok whatever the pay is alright and i dont mind doing js. But then i see the backend team doing absolute horseshit, stacking up overhead and not even fucking documenting the endpoints, i get mad.
And now our sysadmin left so there is no fucking server and i cant run locally because of 9trillion config files (remember the overhead part?) and the pm is nagging me to get the site done WHEN THERE IS NO FUCKING SERVER. WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME, SET IT ALL UP AGAIN? THATS NOT MY FUCKING JOB YOU IMBECILE FUCKFACE.

> le server suddenly stops working, no boot, no POST, no beeps, no video
*le frantic cursing on how perhaps that's why the fucking thing was only €60 🤬*
*takes out RAM*
> le server still not booting
*places RAM back without doing anything else*
> le server boots up again

🤔🤔🤔
Is this what they mean with things like "compile it again and somehow the compiler will not complain anymore after a while"?

"Updates were installed successfully"

No Windows, you got stuck at 83% and I had to hard reset you, we tried again and you got stuck at 91% so I had to hard reset you again... That is not what I call "successful" updates...

Friend brings over a Windows 8 all in one laptop.
Friend: Can you fix my laptop
Me: I'm a programmer
Friend: I thought you worked with computers.
Me: I do... but I'm not tech support
Friend: Please?
Me: (reluctantly) Fine.
*many hours later after attempting to get the PC to boot from a USB. WHY DOES THIS PC NOT HAVE A KEY TO ENTER THE GOD DAMNED BOOT MENU AND HAS NO BOOT ORDER SELECTION?????!*
Friend: Have you fixed it?
Me: No
Friend: You suck at computers
Me: ....

Never spoke to him again.

Me: ooh my eyes hearts, I have to sleep now, I fix this tomorrow morning.

(go to sleep)

Inner Me: hey
Me: ...
Inner Me: pisst! wake up
Me: what?? leave me alone I'm tired
Inner Me: remember that issue you had?
Me: yes?
Inner Me: this is how you can solve it
Me: great thanks, I'll fix it later
Inner Me: no no you have to fix it now
Me: I'm tired, I'll fix it first thing in the morning
Inner Me: no no you'll forgot it
Me: no I won't, let me sleep
Inner Me: no no you'll forget and I won't tell you again
Me: look I write it down in my phone now leave me alone
Inner Me: no no you have to fix it now.
Me: *crying* for God sake...

(gets out of bed and try to turn on PC and it's not starting, realizing that the power is out)

Me: you happy now, I fix it tomorrow.
Inner Me: no no stay awake till power is back on.
Me: SHUT THE FICN ON PICK OF CRAPE. Did SHDUHDBD DBDJDB

just wanted to watch a movie on a flight, then this happened 🤦‍♂️

Flight assistant: "oh no, not again. I will reboot it for you."

Alright, the blog seems to be running again and its not breaking yet which is a good sign :P.

Although nothing has changed on the front end yet, the backend has been partly rewritten to be more efficient and of course, post sorting based on posting date!

I'm aware of most of the front end issues so no need to tell me all of them again, I'll look at that tomorrow as I need sleep right now :(

If you'd find any bugs/security issues, please, don't exploit them but report them instead! I take security very seriously and will try to patch any security bug as soon as I can :)

QA: When I open the app I get this strange error message that includes "No data connection could be established" near the start of it.

Me: I'll clean up how thats displayed, but the error means your phone doesn't have internet connection.

QA: No that can't be it, I do.

Me: You screenshot shows no WiFi or 3g / 4g symbols.

QA: No those are never there, please investigate.

Me: I have investigated and found that every other one of your screenshots had a WiFi or a 3g symbol. Example: <link>. Please check your connection and try again, i'll clean up the error display.

PM: Oh i've had an issue something like this before. We really need to show users an error screen. We can't just leave them on this screen with no error message at all.

Me: ... we have an error, thats what QA is complaining about, its not loading the text and displaying the error object.

Anyone else want to not pay attention and complain about something else that doesn't make sense? ... no? ... ok good, back to work then

So devRant shows me a frontpage feed based on my ++/--/follows/etc.

Does this mean there is a niche bubbled hidden corner, some place where some dev is currently looking at his feed thinking: "Wow everyone agrees with me, Windows is much better than Linux, VBscript is amazing, and Git is for tryhards who hate on dropbox for no good reason"

By now, that bubble and mine have drifted so far apart that they will never meet again, and if you see this specific rant, you will not ever see that content again either.

For all you know, the majority of devs love changing requirements and clients who call them in the middle of the night, the consensus is that testing is for noobs, and everyone loves jquery.

You will never know, because you clicked ++ on the wrong rant, right when you signed up, and forever sealed your fate.

Storytime
A story about an Android TVbox which decided to become an iPad

Several years ago we've bought an android tv-box. 

It served me and my family well for several years.

Specs are not that important in this story, but there they are:

Android 4.4 
1GB RAM
Amlogic quadcore 1.4HGz
8GB memory.

This device served us well - online TV, browsing, music, file sharing and so on. But recently cheap Chinese memory deciteed to take a break and damaged ROM. Because of that device won't boot. The only option was to take it apart and "short circuit" certain legs on memory chip and make it boot from SD card and install new firmware. After such operations tv-box worked well again. 

Hoverer, memory glitched again and again and this algorithm was repeated for several months.

But that is not what is this story about.

One day memory went completely crazy and there was no way to install new firmware on it. It just hanged on install. (BTW, it was official firmware for this device)

But after countless attempts it finally worked! It installed the firmware and booted into launcher and connected to WiFi! 

But now comes the most interesting part. 

It was not android anymore.

It decided to became an iPad.

My dad logged in to his Google account via tv-box and got mail that someboby connected from our IP via iPad (we don't have an iPad) and using safari browser! Stock browser is not safari browser.....

"Ok, nvm, crazy glitch." - we thought.

But preinstalled play marked wont launch. Because he told us, that we're trying to connect from iPad.

And Google chrome page suggested to download chrome for iPad

And everything was acting like it is an iPad.

OK, downloaded iTunes, why not??? ._.

Tried to install elixir for android via apk from flash, but then memory glitched one more time, everything went black and tv-box had damaged ROM again...

After that we decided to not torment it anymore...

That's it. Poor Android TVbox that all his life dreamed to become an iPad. Rest in peace.

> Customer logs Jira ticket claiming app is not working
< I restart the app, investigate and explain tht their server has issues
ø Client closes the ticket as Resolved
-- a couple of days pass by ---

> Customer logs Jira ticket claiming app is not working
< I restart the app, investigate and explain tht their server has issues
ø Client closes the ticket as Resolved
-- a couple of days pass by ---

> Customer logs Jira ticket claiming app is not working
< I restart the app, investigate and explain tht their server has issues
ø Client closes the ticket as Resolved
-- a couple of days pass by ---
<...>

< I log a JIRA ticket explaining what and how is wrong with the server with suggestions how to fix the problem so the app will not crash any longer (client own the server, has his own sysadmins -- I don't even had permissions to open syslog.. had to hack dmesg on their PROD server to pin-point the issue)
> no reaction from customer for weeks. I ping the ticket

× app crashes again

> no reaction from customer for weeks. I ping the ticket
> customer leaves a comment that their sysadmins are looking at it trying to figure out what might be wrong (ignoring what I wrote in ticket's description??? srsly?)

× app crashes again
< I post detail investigation details: snips from logs, screenshots, everything with crystal clear explanations.

> no reaction for weeks
......

well that's fun..

FKING. LANDLORD. FKING LANDLORD THINKS MY LAN CABLE SLOWS THE FKING INTERNET BACK TO THE 1990s.

- Prologue
I'm renting at a place that looks good af. But the fking wifi is so slow, 80% of the time you can't even send an empty http request.

- Chapter 1
Okay, maybe it's my laptop. *plugs in cable*. Now the requests fail 10% of the time. Better than nothing. 2 hours later, gets a text saying other housemates are having slow internet because of me. FUCK. Unplugs, LAN cable, uses mobile data and cries to sleep.

- Chapter 2
Tries again after a few days. Barely uses the internet (I'm only using it to play games, not even download it and I used more than this with a 2mbps internet). No videos, no music, just small data exchange with a low ping. GETS A FKING TEXT AGAIN

- CHAPTER 3
My sis comes over and complains that the net is slow af. Plugs in LAN cable while no one is around, everything is fine. Sis leaves, I roll up my end of the LAN cable in my room but leave the cable plugged in on the outside of the room. Next morning, it's unplugged. Plugged it back in before I go to work and when I come back, guess what? ITS FKING UNPLUGGED. AGAIN. AND IM NOT EVEN USING IT.

SOMEONE PLEASE STOP ME FROM GOING ON A RAMPAGE SHOVING THE FKING CABLE AND THE ROUTER UP PEOPLE'S ASSES. LAN FUCKING CABLES DONT SLOW THE INTERNET BACK TO THE PREVIOUS CENTURY. ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY'RE NOT EVEN PLUGGED IN ON THE OTHER SIDE. FUCK.

Story time:
Yesterday I wanted to go to the theater with my girlfriend. It was her idea because as a student you can get reduced tickets for the play, but only via the online store exactely two hours before the play starts. We had already tried two weeks before but with no success. So this time I said i want to be on my pc with a proper browser and not a mobile version like last time. So we are sitting at home me in front of their website on one screen and with a clock on the other screen. Two minutes realy i hit refresh and I get a selection for the reduced tickets, nice.

You would think.

After selecting the amount. ERROR: Can not get your tickets. I was like fuck they are already sold out because it's a popular play. But hey let's try again. I got one ticket but not the second one, okay strange lets try again, same ERROR again. WHAT the FUCK, no feedback what so ever. My girlfriend had then the idea that they maybe restricted the amount for reduced tickets to one (does not state this explicitly but hey lets give it a shot). Use second browser select one ticket. ERROR can not get you the amount of seats. Rage level near to a 1000 why did it work two minutes before but not anymore. Trying around for five more minutes finally got the second ticket.

Now the real fun begins.

Proceeding to checkout should not be that hard you would think, but you need to be registered for that. Okay so let's do that. The salutation is not required neither is the address for the tickets but you need to have a company name??!!!!! The fuck?? I am not self employed and neither are a most other people around here so why is this field mandatory? Beeing a little under stress I decided to found the "asdf" company with my girlfriend.

Now one would think checking out is easy. Not so fast.

After accepting the terms of service another ERROR, unable to accept your data. What data? I did not input anything new? Where does this come from? Ok never mind I am going to pay with credid card that must work!
ERROR: Internal paymentservice initialization failure! Sorry what? I thought maybe I was to long idle in this browser and they do not reserve the tickets for so long (which would be no surprise to me at this point). Let's try again. Nope same error.

Now my rage level was really over 9000 but we really wanted to go so I decided to call the customer SUPPORT. Or better to say I had a answering maching telling me for ten minutes how sorry they are that this takes so long, yeah you bet. Then and this is now really great: the support guy asks me: "What error do you see? Internal paymentservice initialization failure?" I was like, okay he knows this so they need to know how to handle it. FUCK NO. "Sorry I can't help you. This is our payment system maybe they (IT) are doing some maintenance I can't halp you. Call the theater directly good day." Sorry what just happened, you fuckers are the vendors for the tickets for nearly all big events around here and the theater explicitly states to call you for tickets but you can not help me? Like hell.

This process took 25 very frustrating minutes and I was really angry and wanted to quit, then I saw that there is also a paypal option which I had not tried. With very little hope i selected everything for the payment, registered with paypal and they told me I already had an account. So reactivated this five year old account payed with all the mobile passwords and tans to finally, after 30 fucking minutes, get a pdf file for a ticket. Repeated the last step for the second ticket and with some time left to get there we were off.

The three indicators you have spent to much time on devRant while being on the toilet:

0: You reached the post from the last day.
1: Your legs fell asleep.
2: You forgor whether you have to wipe your ass or not.

Got this from boss (a few colleagues got it as well):
Sites have been down over the weekend and seems the only person cares is PM! There is a condition about working when required (i.e. unpaid OT) on your contract! It is essential that sites are properly managed even at weekends - we run a online business! If anyone has problems we'll discuss next week
*Note: site was partially down and there was no major impact on the business

When I explained why we need to rebuild the sites, you said not now - almost 2 years now, still nothing happens.
When I asked if we can get managed hosting or load balancer, fecking NO again
After asking for my opinion on the sites, you & the puppet think my honesty is me being negative and incorporate, and exclude me from meetings and major part of my work

Go fuck yourself! I've warned you about the status of the sites and you did not want to listen SO DON'T TELL ME I'M NOT DOING MY JOB WHEN YOU'RE THE ONE STOPPING ME FROM DOING IT PROPERLY!
I'm sure we'll have our meeting very soon, cheapskate.

If you ever completely want to waste your goddamn time, call Keolis (company behind Arriva I think) with a question regarding their app. They'll be able to provide you with no fucking usable help/information at all and will gladly guide you through the login process twenty-motherfucking-billion times again and have no single solution as to why its not working.

As a bonus, they'll ask for your details so they can investigate and call you back a little later to take you through the exact goddamn process you just did two-hundred-trillion times before with the exact same completely fucking useless result.

My conversation with a recruiter today.

Recruiter: we have looked through your profile and we are very interested in your experience and projects you have been working on we are keen to process your application please send us your resume asap.

Me: sure thing * sends CV.

Recruiter: oh yeah your not what we are looking for.

Me: Oh no problem you sound like a great recruitment agency.

Recruiter: what do you mean?

Me : so you "looked at my profile" which has all the information identical to my resume for a job which requires 10 years worth of experience in a software which was only released 6 months ago. Why don't you learn to ride a bike and then in 10 years time. Ride a hover bike first time without falling off and I will assess wherever or not you have the experience on first glance. Don't waste my time again.
Mother Fuckers!

Needless to say I did not get a reply 😂

Refactoring code of somebody who left and:

- Plagued the code with TYPOS (milions of them but ok I can live with those... to a certain point)
- Used global variables by default.... of course even where they're not needed
- Used comments only in parts of code where... well they're not needed, important ones are of course left out
- Did not indent code. 3..2..1... Did not FUCKING indent code properly and when he did... did WRONG!
- Instead of indentation he used commented line with multiple ==== signes.... so far top is 60 consecutive lines with olny ==== again no apparent pattern here
- Did not follow a fucking standard in variable naming... no camle casing... there are varaibles assigned multiple times to "temp" variables without no reason just for the sake of wasting resources on the system I guess

This is just the beginning of the review but I already want to change job, die, scream, cry... not in any specific order.

Old story, and yeah, it's all true, I shit you not!

So here I am at about age 11 (more or less). At the time, I had an almost brand new 333MHz beast, with 8 MB RAM, 2 (!!!) MB video card and (I think) about 300 MB of storage (yeah, I'm old :)) ).

Connected to this monster was sitting a 14" CRT monitor, mechanical keyboard and a 2 button, ball "powered" mouse.

There was no optical tracking tech at the time.

One evening, I notice my mouse starts lagging. Test it to see if Win95 is stuck. Nope, just mouse problems...

Fiddle with it a little, and at some point it stops working at all.

My room was dark now, so I got up to turn on the lights, sat down in front of the PC, and moved the mouse by instinct.

Surprise! It's working again!

My brother comes in and turnes off the lights. Mouse non responsive.

I tell him to turn them on again, mouse works again.

At this point, we were both scratching our heads at this mystery...

I decided to confirm it again using a desc light.

Conclusion: my 2 button, ball tracking, non light sensitive mouse was working only if light was shining directly oh it AND on my 14" crt monitor at the same time!!!

To this day I have no ideea why.

I kept them both for posterity, and they are still there in my parent's attic.

Fin.

Mom: why haven't you been doing your computer science homework at home ?
Me : because you won't let me have a computer and I can't run the software I need on my school iPad
Mom: bull shit you can run it that iPad can do anything that you can do on a computer
Me : no you can't that's not even...*mom cuts me off*
Mom : don't talk back to me you just don't wanna do your homework
Mom: all computers are the same they just have different names
Me : that's not even true in the slightest... *gets cut off again*
Mom: shut up and do your damn homework
Me: 😐

Well dear former employer thank you for everything. Thanks for taking me on as a junior and not providing any training at all. Thanks for changing my job role without consulting me whilst I was on holiday and again failing to train me for a job I had no idea about, but you apparently needed me to do for you. And finally thank you for letting me work nearly a full shift before telling me how much you like me, don't have a bad word to say about me, and you're really happy with all my work but the company and I "aren't a very good fit for each other anymore".

A true story.
"Ok you did a very good job during these 3 months, so we think you can go on with us."
"Thanks, so how about the final contract?"
"What? oh no eheh, you will do other 3 months as test because we want to see if you can do also other stuff not only as developer, we need that you act also like a secretary, a tester, a manager, and working again for home after work, and also during the weekend, but we can't pay extra work of course. So, what you think?"

The magic world of startups

Okay so this happened ages ago (nearly five years) but this suddenly came to my mind again.

It was in the first year of my study (currently in my 5th and last year).

I was experimenting around with php and mysql during some free hours. All the insert,delete and so on statements worked perfectly find except for one update statement. Started to debug of course and after a little while of no results I was like "oh yeah right, something like logs exists of course". Looked in the logs but nothing. No matter how I altered my code (rewrote it numerous times for some 'clean starts') it just would not run the update statement.

Alright, time for some class mate help. After multiple hours of debugging with a few classmates, there was still no result at all.

Time to bring in one or more teachers. After hours of debugging, still no result even with the help of a few good teachers.

Decided to give it a rest for that day.

Two weeks later it still was not updating anything/working and I finally gave up.

Till today, I still have no clue what went wrong and it still bugs me from time to time :/

Director: What’s the next step on <thing>?

Manager: There is no next step because *manager explains*.

Director: How can not there be a next step?

Manager: *explains the same thing again, reading from a mail chain Director is also a part of*

Director: Okay, so net-net there is no next step.

Beautiful conclusion mf.

Life at work these days:

Manager: we’re not getting enough done
My calendar: 1/3 week filled with scheduled meetings

Manager: we need to use ChatGPT intensively. We'll go a lot faster.
Me using ChatGPT to get it to write an automation script: 2 hours wasted with no success
Me starting again from scratch to write the script: 15 minutes to achieve the desired result.

Thanks for your advice boss

I was building my iOS app in xcode, when I get an error. It was some swift library thing I did not recognize.
Then without changing anything:
Build again.
Error
Build again.
Error
Build again
No errors at all. Run my app and everything works perfectly.

Can't believe I spent the past 2+ hours looking for; and customizing a color theme for my code editor (... again) when I have a shitload of stuff to do :(

Made a Website.
What this friendly old Lady wanted: a update to her poem/song website that looked horrible.
What she got: A goddamn masterpiece considering there is NO backend and I got nearly no ressources to work with.
It took forever to put that stuff together since I thought I dont need any frameworks at all. I didnt know PHP at all back then, so I just went all out with everything that pure HTML and CSS could give me.
I even went outside to make nice photos to put into the Background.
....so, he said no PHP or anything? YES! If you wanna add content you change the HTML and upload stuff via Filezilla. I dont really want to see it ever again. But not because it looks bad.

I know, its not really coding since its HTML but I Count this!

Is the software at your company so bad that it's a miracle that anything works?

Does it feel like this colossal pile of broken electronics from the past 30 years duct taped together and patched with multiple tiers of adapters, wires spliced together with scotch tape, and someone on stand by with a fire extinguisher?

Do you feel like getting your product to work is like how we used to get things to work back in the eighties? Not just turning things off and on again, but things like hitting the tv to make it work again, blowing into cartridges, and the feeling of pulling on the starting cord on a gas powered mower over and over again to no avail?

That is exactly what my company's codebase is. A huge amorphous, heterogenous pile of shit that somehow works and occasionally has to be massaged to make it work again. Fuck my life.

The company who sounded like Dominic Toretto during interview, Is a big red flag.

Employer : "We are family"
Me : 'Really ? Since we are family... Can I have your car please? , Bro I need 5000 MYR'.

If ever anyone from workplace say "we are family " again, I am going to act as if "we are family". I shoud be comfortable to ask for employer's money and drive his car out like a bro.

No? then we are not family.

Hehehehe (n_n)

Actually I'm pleasantly surprised about Windows' stability nowadays. It's capable for running for up to a week with no stability issues, whereas systemd on the other hand.. let's just say that my Arch containers could do better right now.

Data mining aside, damn man.. Microsoft is improving for once! Is this the so-many'th unusable/somewhat stable switch? I mean, it's not like we haven't seen that happen yet! Windows 98, shit! Windows 2000, kinda alright! Windows Me, shit! Windows XP, kinda alright! Windows Vista, oh don't even get me started on that pile of garbage! Windows 7, again kinda okay! Windows 8, WHERE THE FUCK DID THAT START MENU GO YOU MOTHERFUCKERS?!!! Windows 10, well at least that Start menu got fixed. Then it got into some severe QA issues, which now seem to have gotten somewhat fixed again.

I'm starting to see a pattern here! 🤔

Ok friends let's try to compile Flownet2 with Torch. It's made by NVIDIA themselves so there won't be any problem at all with dependencies right?????? /s

Let's use Deep Learning AMI with a K80 on AWS, totally updated and ready to go super great always works with everything else.

> CUDA error
> CuDNN version mismatch
> CUDA versions overwrite
> Library paths not updated ever
> Torch 0.4.1 doesn't work so have to go back to Torch 0.4
> Flownet doesn't compile, get bunch of CUDA errors piece of shit code
> online forums have lots of questions and 0 answers
> Decide to skip straight to vid2vid
> More cuda errors
> Can't compile the fucking 2d kernel
> Through some act of God reinstalling cuda and CuDNN, manage to finally compile Flownet2
> Try running
> "Kernel image" error
> excusemewhatthefuck.jpg
> Try without a label map because fuck it the instructions and flags they gave are basically guaranteed not to work, it's fucking Nvidia amirite
> Enormous fucking CUDA error and Torch error, makes no sense, online no one agrees and 0 answers again
> Try again but this time on a clean machine
> Still no go
> Last resort, use the docker image they themselves provided of flownet
> Same fucking error
> While in the process of debugging, realize my training image set is also bound to have bad results because "directly concatenating" images together as they claim in the paper actually has horrible results, and the network doesn't accept 6 channel input no matter what, so the only way to get around this is to make 2 images (3 * 2 = 6 quick maths)
> Fix my training data, fuck Nvidia dude who gave me wrong info
> Try again
> Same fucking errors
> Doesn't give nay helpful information, just spits out a bunch of fucking memory addresses and long function names from the CUDA core
> Try reinstalling and then making a basic torch network, works perfectly fine
> FINALLY.png
> Setup vid2vid and flownet again
> SAME FUCKING ERROR

> Try to build the entire network in tensorflow
> CUDA error
> CuDNN version mismatch
> Doesn't work with TF
> HAVE TO FUCKING DOWNGEADE DRIVERS TOO
> TF doesn't support latest cuda because no one in the ML community can be bothered to support anything other than their own machine
> After setting up everything again, realize have no space left on 75gb machine
> Try torch again, hoping that the entire change will fix things

At this point I'll leave a space so you can try to guess what happened next before seeing the result.

Ready?

3

2

1

> SAME FUCKING ERROR

In conclusion, NVIDIA is a fucking piece of shit that can't make their own libraries compatible with themselves, and can't be fucked to write instructions that actually work.

If anyone has vid2vid working or has gotten around the kernel image error for AWS K80s please throw me a lifeline, in exchange you can have my soul or what little is left of it

I really want to.
I want to get away from Windows.
But I have yet to find a distro that works.

Today I tried again again.
I found out Linux Mint released version 19.
Snapshots integrated. Cool. I will try it.

Installed with Cinnamon. Looks nice. Everything is running fast.

Aaaaand I hate the mouse movement...
Why is there no 1:1 movement? Is acceleration on? Does not feel like it.
Ok. We can fix this right?
Opened the Mouse settings.
There is no way of deactivating mouse acceleration. Only customizing the amount of acceleration. What?

Ok customize it. No change at all.
Try extreme settings. Nothing.

Google for a solution. Says I should install dconf-editor and change settings there.

Install it, change the settings. Hey it works!
It is far from perfect but I can live with that.

Now the scroll wheel is so slow...
But there is no setting at all? Not even in dconf-editor.

Google the solution. Need to install imwheel and configure it. Really?
Okay will do. I wanna use this.

Finally. Mouse works as it should.

After all that, why is my lap so hot? Fucking hell the cpu seems to be burning.

Fuck that!
I am out! Back to Windows!

I have a project at work that involves learning a bunch of AWS stuff and rewriting a couple credential-generating scripts. I don't even know what the ask is, apart from some high-level "make this SSO" so ... idfk.

I am so incredibly bored of it (and burned out in general) that I can't even look at it.

I would rather see how many times it takes to beat my head against the wall to make a hole than think about this ticket again.

"Oh, I thought you would find that fun" No. No I do not. I can't even bring myself to look at it anymore. "Well, try to push through it and get it outta here!" Ughhhhh

I hope Russia nukes the bloody company.

Finally got approved to bring on a second developer for a three month project. Our vendor provided 12 of their "best" candidates, and we picked the only three that actually knew the programming language required to interview. Two did not speak sufficient English and the last one sounded perfect. Two weeks in, he quits and doesn't answer the vendor or us. No money in the budget to try again and I end up developing the entire thing myself. Five months later and I have finally finished.

>be me
>join new firm
>only developer
>Task : Migrate our PHP based website to reactjs
>okay not bad, I can do this
>*Completes in 2 days*
>get inputs from boss and he gives
>go back again to inform we're now SASS integrated
>asks for new wireframes
>wtf lol.exe
>wants new design for the same website like of the parent company which is WordPress template
>*Internally : I'm a developer, I don't do wireframes*
>okay no problem

Seriously, if you wanted a new design in the first place why didn't you said so?

On my first week in the internship, I have to create a small website and it has to be finished ASAP. So I used Bootstrap.

After finishing I tested the website in chrome debugger tools for every screen size (design responsiveness), it was working fine. My stupidity was that I haven't tested on actual mobile/tablet.

The site was live, I send the link to one of my friends and he said "why everything is so small? looks like I'm browsing on PC". I quickly grab my phone and visited the site and it was not responsive on mobile. Started to check the code again, tested again on chrome tools it was working. But not on mobile. Changed the bootstrap file but no fucking changes on mobile.

After few moments of thinking, I realized that I haven't included the "meta viewport" tag. I felt so stupid and it was kind of embarrassing for me.

Now I first include meta tags before working on new project.

Oh fucking Huawei.
Fuck you.
Inventory:
- Honor 6x (BLN-L22C675)
- Has EMUI4.1 Marshmallow
- Cousin brother 'A' (has bricking XP!)
- Uncle 'K'
- Has Mac with Windows VM
Goal:
- Stock as LineageOS / AOSP

Procedure (fucking seriously):
- Find XDA link to root H6X
- Go to Huawei page and fill out form
- Receive and use bootloader code
- Find latest TWRP
- Flash latest TWRP
- TWRP not working? Bootloops
- XDA search "H6X boot to recovery"
- Find and try modded TWRP
- TWRP fails, no bootloop
- Find & flash TWRP 3.1.0
- Yay! TWRP works
- Find and download LineageOS and SuperSU
- Flash via TWRP
- Yay! Success.
- Attempt boot
- Boot fails. No idea why
- Go back to TWRP
- TWRP gives shitload of errors
"cannot mount /data, storage etc."
- Feel fucked up
- Notice that userdata partition exists,
but FSTAB doesn't take
- Remembers SuperSU modded boot
image and FSTABS!
- Fuck SuperSU
- Attempt to mod boot image
- Doesn't work (modded successfully
but no change)
- Discover Huawei DLOAD
Installer for "UPDATE.APP" OTAs
Note: Each full OTA is 2+ GB zipped
- Find, download, fail on 4+ OTAs
- Discover "UPDATE.APP Extractor"
Runs on Windows
Note: UPDATE.APP custom format
Different per H6X model
- Uses 'K''s VM to test
- My H6X model does not have
a predefined format
- Process to get format requires
TWRP, which is not working
- FAIL HERE
- Discover "Firmware Finder"
Windows app to find Huawei
firmwares
- Tries 'K''s VM
- Fails with 1 OTA
- Downloads another firmware ZIP
- Unzips and tries to use OTA
- Works?!
- Boots successfully?!
- Seems to have EMUI 5.0 Nougat
- Downloads, flashes TWRP
- TWRP not working AGAIN?
- Go back to XDA page
- Find that TWRP on EMUI 5 - NO
- Find rollbacks for EMUI5 -> EMUI4
- Test, fail 2-4 times (Massive OTAs)
- DLOAD accepts this one?!!!
- I HAVE ORIG AGAIN!!!
- Re-unlock and reflash TWRP
- Realise that ROMs aren't working on
EMUI 4.1; Find TWRPs for EMUI5
- Find and fail with 2-3 OTAs
Note: Had removed old OTAs for
space on Chromebook (32GB)
- In anger, flash one with TWRP
instead of DLOAD (which checks
compatability)
- Works! Same wasn't working with
DLOAD
- Find and flash a custom TWRP
as old one still exists (not wiped in
flash)
- Try flashing LineageOS
- LineageOS stuck in boot
- Try flashing AOSP
- Same
- Try flashing Resurruction Remix
- Same
- Realise that need stock EMUI5
vendor
- Realise that the firmware I installed
wasn't for my device so not working
- FUCK NO MORE LARGE DLs
- Try another custom TWRP
- Begin getting '/cust mounting' errs
- Try reflashing EMUI5 with TWRP
- Doesn't work
- Try DLOADing EMUI5
- Like before, incompatability
- DLOAD EMUI4
- Reunlock and reflash TWRP
- WRITE THIS AS A BREAK
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Getting corporate VPN access:
PM: Here's the program to get in, it should work.
Me: Won't install.
PM: sorry old version, here is the new one.
Me: Can't get in
PM: create a ticket
Support: Not sure, just try again
Me: Still won't work
Support: We forgot to set some attributes in your account, should work now.
Me: Nope.
Support: We are investigating.
*two weeks later*
Support: should work now.
Me: No it doesn't you stupid f***tards.
*gives up all hope*

I just made the world a little cleaner by not opting for veal today. Instead they are selling insect burgers in Germany and I had two of them.

They are made from buffalo worms, feeded and grown in Germany. No antibiotics. Almost no wasted corn or wheat.

Taste: like a veggie pattie with nuts and seeds. Texture is surprisingly "smooth".

Quite expensive at the moment, but I'll go for it again (€5 for two patties).

Would you try them?

DON'T. INSTALL. BETA. SOFTWARE. BY. DEFAULT.

RAZER

When I plugged my $250 keyboard (Which I have had for years and love beyond measure) into my new install of Windows, it popped up with a cute little message to install Razer Synapse, which manages the lighting on Razer devices, like my keyboards (One mechanical and one not - for silence during voice chat), mouse and headset.

"Wow, this looks different", I mutter to myself, as I unknowingly and non-optionally install software which is IN BETA.

I notice that my other keyboard and mouse don't show up. I don't customize my mouse much, I leave it in spectrum cycling. Easy, works well. My other keyboard is much cheaper and does not offer very much customization (three colors. whoop. I don't touch that either much)

Since I only really touch this keyboard, I am not bothered in the slightest and carry on for a couple months. Fast forwards to yesterday when my mouse stops lighting up. Fuck, now its just a black blob. I'll open synapse tomorrow and fix that.

No I won't

After uninstalling devices, uninstalling synapse, restart restart restart, uninstall again, install again, blah blah blah, download a tool that didn't detect the device either, etc etc, for about two hours, I was about ready to accept my dark fate. But then, I saw (screenshot attached) this little itty-bitty beta tag next to the software (again) installed by default.

I about flipped my shit, uninstalled Razer Synapse 3 so hard it sent a tsunami towards some coastal country, and then angrily installed Razer Synapse 2.

That looks more familiar. Oh, there we are, all three devices. Ah, very well, my mouse is working correctly once again. I know its at the header of this rant, but let's reiterate (or, reiterage, in this case):

DON'T. INSTALL. BETA. SOFTWARE. BY. DEFAULT.

Thank you.

Customer: can you fix my flashdrive? I think it's corrupted or something.

Me: sure no problem

*plugs in flashdrive in pc*
*tried to format*
*Disk is write protected*

Me: ... not you again.

I can't begin to express how utterly useless timestamps like "Today, about 15 minutes ago" or "Yesterday", or "Monday", or "Two Weeks Ago" are.

Those aren't times. Those are relative descriptions of times and are utterly useless.

If I don't know the current date for any number of reasons, such as when viewing a screenshot, it's a worse description than not having one at all.

Again, I am stymied by Apple's insistence to make everything that much less useful for literally no gain.

I had a project where I completely suprised the client and the company within the beginning. It was silky smooth, working on multiplatform ios android,standalone. I wrote the most complex shader I ever made. Everything was great and I even got a bonus for the project.
Then one day. Videos started to stutter. Not playing, completely black on some cases and some devices.
I started to think about reasons. I tried every solution I come up with. No success.
Updated all the codecs, middleware still nothing. Tried to solve the problem for a week. It was a total diaaster and I even thought I a dont deserve to be a developer.

We encoded the videos a few times. Decided to export the original video again, boom! It worked. Theres no particular reason why it worked. But it worked. I guess I am a good developer. Not the best but, eh.

I'm having quite a hard time.

For my studies, I'm doing some research minor atm. And it's basically a 10 hour a week job for me atm. I have literally nothing else to do. No I do not do side projects, I do not aim to be a developer in the future.

This is causing me to sleep about 12hrs each night until it's impossible for me to fall asleep again. I just do not see any point in getting up unless I actually have something planned (meeting bf/friend). It's gotten to the point where I've actually cancelled plans because they didn't give me enough motivation to get up.

Since this is my last year in college, I am also stressing out about what to do next year because I cannot think of anything I enjoy doing.

I am worried abiut my health at this point. Any tips?

Writing some algorithm:
me: *codes for half an hour*
"hmm... isn't working... wait wtf this isn't right..."
me: *codes for an hour again*
"still not working hmmm... wait what no this isn't supposed to work..."
me: *codes for a few hours*
"still not working God damnit.... it's supposed to work now..."
me after another few hours: MOTHERFUCKER CAN YOU START FCKING WORKING FUUUUUUUUUUU

Client : We want to develop this particular software. While developing it, we will be following Agile methodology.

Developers: Sure.

After developer achieves few features and decides to give 1st Demo of the software to the client.

Client : Wtf is this? This is an incomplete software, there are bugs in it.

Developer : Yes, you point that out to me and I will solve them.

Client: What do you mean point them out for you l, couldn't you do it yourself?

Developer: As a standard method, we often do unit tests, but we are not testers and with a strict deadline to match, we are more on the core implementation then checking again and again for minor bugs.

Client : I thought it would be a full proof software without any bugs in the 1st demo.

Developer : Software development is a process. It's not straightforward, hence you only mentioned at the initial, it's agile.

Client : If that's so, let's make it not agile and make you rot in hell for the next few fays. Now you next time show me a demo with no bugs, great complicated features and we will not mention you our expectations, predict them by yourselves, and most importantly, here's an impractical strict deadline.

Finally!

My first electric guitar was around $25, and apart from terrible sound, some notes were just off or dead because of its construction. Having no money, I was demotivated because I couldn't play what I wanted not because of me, but because of my equipment. When depression struck, I quit playing guitar altogether.

Now, because of my brilliant doctors, my therapy works, and the desire to play is born again. But now I can finally get proper instruments. I'm happily relearning how to play and it finally sounds great.

“Hey - just calling you to give you an update”

Great - sorry can you refresh my memory what was this for?

“So I was about to put you through for a client but they’re no longer accepting CVs so just to update you that’s not happening”

Sorry, what was the client again?

“Oh I can’t say, but they’re no longer accepting CVs”

“...Thanks, goodbye.”

*So you call me to tell me that you can’t give my details to a client that you can’t disclosure....get off my line 🤬😡🤬*

Tldr: I just FAILED AN EXAM because of my uni's SHITTIEST SERVERS EVER. YEAR AFTER YEAR THE EXACT SAME SHIT HAPPENS, THEIR SERVERS OR NETWORK FAIL HARD AND STUDENTS FAIL EXAMS BECAUSE OF IT, AND THEY NEVER FIX IT.
FUCK

In the middle of a 3h exam at uni, using Matlab through virtualdesktop, when suddenly it stops working entirely. Trying to restart it, no go. A few other people are having the same issue as well.
After 20 minutes of waiting, one IT tech shows up saying people in other labs are having the same issue, big problems.
Ended up wasting nearly an hour waiting for shit to work again - which it did, but only when the extra time they had given us ran out.
Desperately tried to salvage what I could of my exam, but I don't think I did enough to pass.

This is not the first time it happens. Exam after exam, shit like this keeps happening over and over again, and every time some students get fucked in the ass and have to take the exam again - the next semester.

This is supposed to be one of the top universities in the country, and top 20 engineering schools in the world.
FUCK THIS SHIT

You lousy fucking test class of an ass wipe,

TLDR; it fails and it passes all at the same time.

So during a deployment, one of the pre-deployment test classes fails, not something anyone has worked on so figured I run it manually to see what’s going on, but no the shit of a thing passed second time around.

Now because we can’t deploy without 100% of the test classes passing so I have to organise another deployment which it fails again. Fuck this,

Unprotects master

Git checkout master
Git merge dev
Git push master -f

Protects master

Skrew this!

Well would you look at that, it works now 😰

LARAVEL MEME OF THE DAY
If 60> requests are sent in a short amount of time (and you have Laravel Passport installed) you will not receive an IlluminateResponse instance anymore; you will instead receive a slightly different SymfonyResponse.

Why? For the glory of Satan, of course.

If your code doesn't account for that undocumented garbage, your code will start throwing middle fingers here and there.

Tell me again the productivity joke with Laravel, I've just lost an hour and a half 'cause unit tests were failing and I had no idea why.

Question time:

Has anyone used PHP unit with Selenium before?

I have a.. well words can’t explain it nice enough but, beyond a joke, not even funny, spaghetti code base I’ve come to inherit recently, which god help me, doesn’t follow any design patterns at all, it’s just a stamp this here, staple this down over here and throw paint at the wall and hope it sticks.

It’s a mixture of procedural and functional with the rare class kind of mess.

So attempting to refactor by any means is not a real possibility without some kind of behavioural testing in place first otherwise I know I’m going to end up breaking something somewhere and not even know it.

Also if anyone has had the privilege of such code bases, tips to dealing with the mess are appreciated.

Oh and no, I can’t rm -rf or start again.😭

"For me, it means..."

For me it was not one specific meeting, but rather a series of meetings with a customer over some years.

It was like the movie "groundhog day", it was the same all over again.

We had this technical term, and our customer had his own definition of what it meant and what it's supposed to be. No need to say that his definition did not match the one the engineers and developers of the world had agreed on.

At least a dozen times, i convinced him, but as soon as the meeting ends, it's all reset and we start at zero next time with his new or old definition of what a definition should mean. Sometimes i was just sick and tired of it so i let him explain how it is while i just stared into the void. Didn't matter he told me once, it will happen again next time again, like it never happened before.

Rant!

Been working on 'MVP' features of a new product for the past 14 months. Customer has no f**king clue on how to design for performance. An uncomfortable amount of faith was placed on the ORM (ORMs are not bad as long as you know what you are doing) and the magic that the current framework provides. (Again, magic is good so long as you understand what happens behind the smoke and mirrors - but f**k all that... coz hey, productivity, right?). Customer was so focussed on features that no one ever thought of giving any attention to subtler things like 'hey, my transaction is doing a gazillion joins across trizillion tables while making a million calls to the db - maybe I should put more f**king thought into my design.' We foresaw performance and concurrency issues and raised them way ahead of the release. How did the customer respond? By hiring a performance tester. Fair enough - but what did that translate into? Nothing. Nada. Zilch. Hiring a perf tester doesn't automagically fix issues. The perf tester did not have a stable environment, a stable build or anything that is required to do a test with meaningful results. As the release date approached, the customer launched a pilot and things started failing spectacularly with the system not able to support more than 15 concurrent users. WTF! (My 'I told you so' moment) Emails started flying in all directions and the hunt for the scapegoat was on (I'm a sucker for CYA so I was covered). People started pointing in all directions but no one bothered to take a step back and understand what was causing the issues. Numero uno reason for transaction failure was deadlocks. We were using a proprietary DB with kickass tooling. No one bothered to use the tooling to understand what was the resource in contention let alone how to fix the contention. Absolute panic - its like they just froze. Debugging shit and doing the same thing again and again just so that management knew they were upto something. Most of the indexes had a fragmentation of 99.8% - I shit you not. Anywho, we now have a 'war room' where the perf tester needs to script the entire project by tonight and come up with some numbers that will amount to nothing while we stay up and keep profiling the shit out of the application under load.

Lessons learnt - When you foresee a problem make a LOT of noise to get people to act upon it and not wait till it comes back and bites you in the ass. Better yet, try not to get into a team where people can't understand the implications of shitty design choices. War room my ass!

So I finally get code in Xcode able to compile and run after crashing in main()... due to obscure settings in it's build it does not like. Took hours of hunting around, googling, and used up all my craps table luck for the month.

Now, out of the blue, after a good 30 test run, edit, compile, run cycles... BOOM, the god damn thing starts crashing at before main() again. No friggin idea why.

Xcode says SIGABRT to me... yea well I got something for you Apple Xcode... 🖕🏼

Okay, so today I've taught a colleague how to use a simple office ruler to measure AWS server's CPU usage :) We needed to figure out whether CPU% spikes correlate with error message in logs an d latency spikes. Once again a ruler was the perfect tool for the job.

P.S. no, CPU% spikes did not correlate to errors in logs

Me: Im testing a new feature that is not on production yet for 30m and can not make it work. (I asked the developer for any idea why is not working)
Dev: i just tested, works fine.
Me: i just tested again with no luck. I’m i missing anything?
Dev: (Developer comes to my desk). Lets see what you doing wrong here. (After 5seconds). You're not on UAT. You have been redirected to the production and you've been testing there all this time.
Me: 😩

For some reason, I lost my devRant subscription. No label anymore... but I'm also not charged anymore.

Subscribing again doesn't seem to work, there's a success message from the app, but not from the play store (I have a valid payment method and have other subs), no fees are charged and my account stays unsubscribed.

Has anyone else experienced this?

> Advice to new coders

Don't worry over picking language A or B.
Just pick A, use it for a month, then move on to B.
In a normal 3 year college degree you'll try multiple languages, some of which you'll never use again, and they'll each teach you something.

I had classes in Java, C, C++, C#, Prolog, Assembler, F#, JS.

Never used F# again and no one uses Prolog. But they were great for learning recursion and logic.

It's not like you take "a step down a bad path" if you pick a language you're never gonna use again.

You'll also learn new stuff on the job. We have one team that uses Go and one that uses Rust. None of the devs ever studied those languages. They were mostly former Java devs who leaned on the job.

I fucked up.

In my career, colleagues always looked up to me to solve everything. From day 1.
Hell, I have nicknames; « The Dad », « Machine », « The Beard »... when I meet a new group of devs at the bar they use those nicknames even if I have no clue who they are.

Result? I'm not allowed to fail and even if I do and try to take responsibility, no one ever blame me.

They see me as a fucking zen programming monk, all wise, patient and kind.

Oh boy here we go. I screw things up all the time and can never let go the guilt since I'm not allowed to take responsibility of my mistakes.

Once again I wake up after a night of stress working, trying to overcome analysis paralysis. I'm late. Supposed to have meetings with some fucking PHDs, fueling my imposter syndrome.

Can't even learn anything in those conditions.

Fuck they should call me the fraud.

Got rebuked by the Java teacher today at the University for using proper long names for variables in the code. She though I was just wasting time being lazy in the lab. "If something can be achieved by a single character, why type that long variable again and again?". *Everyone in class laughs*

Then, there was an error in my code [turned out to be long long int in Java is weird], and I had no clue what was going wrong [I'm a week old in Java]. So, I had initially called her to help. She made me change all private methods and attributes to public. When asked "why?", got trolled again.

Now, I know it's okay, and not that I really care about what my classmates think of me, but getting this kind of treatment really sucks. And if this is how future software developers are crafted today, maintainability is surely going to be an issue tomorrow.

Maybe staying in this stupid country was my worst career choice. I should have tried harder and gone abroad.

Running a wild UPDATE statement against an inventory database, it was chaotic and didn't have backups.... yea I know 😅 the backup service died god knows when and no one noticed. I was only new at the time so #notMyFault

UPDATE stock_on_hand = 0; WHERE id IN(1,2,3,4,5,88,972,7388);
# rows affected 1,234,567,890

> I think I almost died inside.

Oh the fun that mess was to clean up.
The positive outcome of this was, we had backups working again not long after and the inventory counts where accurate after that stock take.

I am forced to use IDE and Text Editor against my will.

I hate eclipse, but what to do, Salesforce support that IDE only, although VSCode has one plugin for that, but it's not the best,

Why I hate Eclipse you ask?
1. Null pointers
2. No Emmet
3. No Autcomplete
4. Runs like shit on Windows 10 (See my last rant for windows 10)
5. no pretty print extensions/plugins for isml

For my personal projects I am forced to work on Sublime because again VSCode decided to drop
1. Syntax Highlighting
2. Autocomplete
for PHP

(Fuck you for hating php)

So, this poor fucker right here has spent 3 hours straight trying to install KDE Neon AGAIN, FOR THE 14TH TIME AS OF TIME OF WRITING on an old 0.5TB hard drive with some GiB-wise partitioning size and apparently the disk doesn't like it.

Can someone give me a dildo so I can fuck myself more because life is not fucking me hard enough? No lube needed kthanksbye

Fucking hate my job 😡
I joined as nodejs dev at a mnc 3months ago involved in banking software in which i dont have any domain knowledge.. first 10 days I was told to go through fucking udemy nodejs and graphql tutorial (wtf) which i already have experience with before joining.. after that my reporting manager gives me task to resolve fields and gave me shitty jira story link to read.. that shit story link had no explanation about the fields and what the database it is, then she says to use some shitty sdk which is built internally by shiity devloper which had no documentation and have to follow other module which was again written by that sr. Dev... They hav fucked up the graphql and nodejs and entire stack and also till date no one has ever given any explanation about the domain and the fields and database schema.. this manager refuses to share knowledge about the domain now how the fuck i resolve the graphql schema which was again written by non technical b.a.. all they have used is latest technology in a shitty way with no standards to to follow .. no dataloading no caching no batching.. use shitty sdk which does not give access to dbconn and fucking tightly coupling expressjs which when i start consumes crazy 400Mb of memory .. these fucking seniors devs + the fucking b.a having 12+. Yrs exp each have fucked the entire codebase... Each day killing my passion for app development.. fuckkk ... Dunno what to do now

!dev

Why do I hate my extended family coming over for lunch and dinner you ask?

> kids, who will ruin the remote by pressing the keys so hard, I'll have to get a new remote.

> NO PEACE. I'll have to move from my comfort spot to another spot where, again kids, will come and ask if I have "GAMES" in my mobile or laptop

> and this happened after lunch while watching a movie which I never watched before, my imbecile cousin decides to spoil the entire movie just like that, like, FUCK YO, LIKE REALLY, I KNOW YOU'RE MY RELATIVE IN SOME WAY, BUT FUUUUUUCK YOUUUUUU, spoilers is one of the things I cannot stand.

> I really do not like to be annoyed again and again and again and again, so please stop asking me if I want to have lunch or dinner with everyone because I really HATE the talk during that time.

> I leave my laptop for one microsecond and they surround it like scavengers, I MEAN FOR FUCKS SAKE, GIVE ME MY PRIVACY, (I have my own room, but it's under renovation).

The best I could do was to put on headsets and pretend like I'm working while browsing LinkedIn.

> "Oh I see you have HD TV, but the picture is blurred" NO SHIT, SHERLOCK, It is due to I chose not to buy HD Pack because I live stream HD Channels and cable is a backup

I really like this book on the basis of the philosophy overall, no this doesn’t solve all problems but it’s a good baseline of “guidelines/rules” to program by. Good metrics or goals to architect and design software projects high and low level projects.

Fight Software Rot
Avoid duplicate code
Write Flexible, dynamic, adaptable code
Not cargo cult programming and programming by coincidence.
Make robust code, contracts/asserts/exceptions
Test, Test, and TEST again and Continue testing.. this is a big one.. not so much meaning TDD.. but just testing in general never stop trying to break your software.. FIND the bugs.. you should want to find your bugs. Even after releasing code the field continue testing.

This is what happened today in our dayli:

Lead: We need to profile our software

Me: You can use the chrome devtools as remote profiler, even on prod, or make HAR files for later inspection.

Lead: Yeah but no that’s just collecting data on every tick, we need something like “has been called x times”

Me: Yeah but you can filt -

Lead: Yeah no, so back when I wrote code in Delphi...

Me: *oh god no not this again*

Lead: ... We could have clicked a button in our IDE and it would wrap the function call with the API call to profile that function ...

Me, to the secret dev group in slack: doesn’t a simple method decorator and node performance api help with that?

The people in the group: We had this topic last Friday all day...

Me: oh well *get’s coffee and ignores lead*

switched from windows 10 to kubuntu 18.10 (yes it's not arch or gentoo) last week, after the previous system crashed and burned

I had no idea, my laptop can be so fast and work almost entirely without a fan. Live is beautiful again!

'Hey I found a bug in your code, it's probably a typo, see here.'

Me: Oh right, yeah. How stupid of me. Thanks, I'll push it.

'It's okay. You can push it or I can do it too after you push the changes we just discussed. I actually simplified one of your methods.'

Me: You, what... ?
(You crammed multiple lines in a single line with your stupid as fuck, rigid constructs, removing my error handling, loosely coupled service, in the name of simplification?)

' Yeah it's just four lines in a single function now, no need to call the function again and again.'

Me: (No... Just no. This totally undos whatever little I could do to avoid supporting your idiotic object in the first place.)
Oh... okay, we'll see. I'll let you know.

What life.
Life in a company full of ignorant, inflated egos is no joke.

Details:
I created a service that reads a configuration file and returns the configuration. This person needs five entries for his app logic. He collected them in a object. Quite alright. Except that the class prototype is shitty. I, like a normal person, made my service return a value based on input. I was asked to incorporate this awful object so that I can return the five entries together, which is awful because the service is not supposed to know about how the entries are clubbed. It should most certainly not know about the data members of the object!

well a 🖕🏼 to everybody who thinks CSS isn't really "coding". Stop shaming CSS and people who love it because the moment you would be asked a simple alignment problem, you'll shit your pants.

No! not because it's a hard thing to do in CSS(there are tons of ways to do it.) but because you are ignorant and have prejudice.

🖕🏼 you again!

I gave you a chance, Nvidia. It could have been a good thing, but no. You are still crap. About two years ago, my son's graphics card (an Nvidia) died, so I thought, I'll give him my nice Radeon card, and got myself a new card. For some reason, reason failed me, and I got a GTX 1070. It's been a nice enough card, and worked well. And then the last driver update happened. Fallout 4 started to CTD before it even booted to the main menu. Me, not thinking (again) thought it was a mod, so I uninstalled and deleted and reinstalled again, with all 120 mods. Nope. Still crashing. Then I noticed, as the game booted, the fans started to ramp up, and I could tell exactly when it would crash be the sound of fans. I was expecting the computer to taxi out the room. Rolled the driver update back to the last one that worked. Now I can log in again, and things are mostly stable. Still crashes, but not as bad, probably due to reloading the mods and missing something. When the RX 3080 hits the market, bye bye Nvidia. You haven't changed a bit over the years. We're through.

Rant much...
I just started working on project after a group of students.
The project has various of bugs (ofcourse) and not catched exceptions.
I found variables like 'abcd' or shorts of classes like 'rrms'.
I would be fine with all of that but there is one thing is just making me crazy:
THERE IS NO SINGLE FUCKING COMMENT IN WHOLE SOLUTION (three projects and about few hundred files with javascript and cs).

Imagine freaking pure react (no jsx) full of null arguments and multiple custom control written like 'var gl= GreenLabelled(null,null,text,5)' (a button ) with again, NO FUNCKING SINGLE COMMENT.

I just cannot stand it. Just spent 3hrs to wrapp my head around events in this react classes...

Recruiter: hey I see you once worked in Utah. Boy do I have the job for you. In Utah.
Me: I no longer live in Utah. In fact I fled Utah 16 months into a 24 month contract because that place sucks. I haven't been back in over two years. So I guess what I am saying is no. I do not want your job offer. Please never contact me again unless it's for 6 figures and I don't have to move.

I am hating hating hating my junior developer job. Most of my work is updating PDF's on all type of internal intranets. So my days are spent working jira ticket after jira ticket.

Internal customer submits ticket to update 3 PDF's on internal intranet for sales team. They are named so badly I can't match them unless I review all 30 links on this page. Most links with report numbers but here's is not also no notes to where in the page.

I do JIRA comment --no respose even though I tag her.

I politely email her asking her to rename the PDF's with the same file names I am replacing.

She asked it I wanted her to rename them 'other'

What??? So I asked her where she sits so I can show how to easily find the file names in the URL.

Responds with the same files renamed with more description but still not the same.

Respond again giving better instructions on how to find it and second request to where she sits.

1 day later no response!

When I get into today I am closing her ticket!

Fuck these middle aged Midwest dumb bitches!

Our project at work goes live in 3 weeks.

The code base has no automated tests, breaks very often, has never had any level of manual testing

will not be releasing with any form of enforced roles or permissions in our first release now due to no time to enforce, however there is a whole admin api where you can literally change anything in our database including roles.

We also have teams in various countries all working separately on the same solution using microservices with shared nuget packages and they aren't using them properly.

Our pull requests are so big - as much as, 75 file changes - in our fe app that I can't keep up with it and I honestly have no idea if it even works or not due to no automated tests and no time to manually test.

We have no testing team, or qa team of any sort.

Every request into the system has to hit a minimum of 3 different databases via 3 different microservices so 1 request = 4 requests with the load on the servers.

We don't use any file streams so everything is just shoved in the buffer on the server.

Most of the people working on the angular apps cba to learn angular, no one across 2 teams cba to learn git. We use git so they constantly face problems. The guy in charge has 0 experience in angular but makes me do things how he wants architecturally so half the patterns make no sense.

No one looks at the pull requests, they just click approve so they may as well push directly to master.

Unfinished work gets put in for pull request so we don't know if the app is in a release state since aall teams are working independently, but on the same code base.

I sat down and tested the app myself for an hour and found 25 fe only issues, and 5 breaking cross browser issues.

Most of our databases are not normalised. Most of our databases make no sense. 99% of our tables have no indexing since there is no expertise with free time to do it.

No one there understands css properly. Or javascript.

Our. Net core microservices all directly use ef in the controller actions so there is no shared code there.

Our customer facing fe app is not dry because no tests so it was decided it was better this way.

Management has no idea on code state, it seems team lead is lieing to them about things like having any level of tests.

Management hire devs that claim to be experts but then it turns out they have basically no knowledge of what they were hired to do, even don't know what json is or the framework or language they are hired for, but we just leave them to get on with it and again make prs too big to review.

Honestly I have no hope that this will go well now but I am morbidly curious to watch. I've never seen anything like the train wreck that we are about to get experience.

Yay, now I know what that windows update was about... oh no, this isn't another "fuck windows, update broke shit again" post.

This is a "wtf, you dodgey shit bags" kind of post, "you" managed to install Skype, install this stupid ducking "meet now" service - which is fucking hidden (anyone have any pointers? Google's not doing its job yet), and now I have to uninstall office completely to remove Skype 🤦‍♂️

Why won't you fuckers let it go, didn't we ALL move to teams recently?

Xcode: Xcode is the perfect place to make Apple Watch apps!
Apple Docs: literally nothing not even a single fucking useless piece of information
Xcode again: no

!dev

Again, someone I know got married after having a relationship for 2 3 years.

I am 26, soon to be 27. I never ever had a good relationship. All I have his crap and crap stories. In my country girls get married around 28 maximum.
Arrange marriages are way to go here. But do not want to have that fuss. In lockdown no chance of meeting someone.
Not achieving anything in my job, no realistic progres in my personal life. I think I am heading towards a big mess.

Making an ssh connection:

No....

No this one.

Not that one.

Not that one, either.

*starts typing*

*Typo 1*

*Typo 2*

Yay. Connected to server.

... Okay. Wrong environment.

*Exiting*

*trying again*

*Typo 1*

*Typo 2*

*finally connected*

Okay. I'm here...

Why did I connect to this machine again?!

------

Migrations are fun. Your bash history is an obsessive lier, your brain completely fried and when you finally managed to achieve something... You either forget what it was - or even worse - you get reminded of all the stuff you still have to do.

I'm literally amazed that I currently manage to go to the toilet, don't forget to make coffee and eat stuff at least once a day.

Before anyone thinks... Haha joke.

Nope I'm dead serious.

I am amazed that I didn't forget to go to the toilet, aka sitting in my own piss and wonder why it's so warm and wet down there.

I'm glad that the migration is going to end soon, otherwise I might opt in out of paranoia for adult diapers.

*My brain is really fried*

Me: Im testing a new feature that is not on production yet for 30m and can not make it work. (I asked the developer for any idea why is not working)
Dev: i just tested, works fine.
Me: i just tested again with no luck. I’m i missing anything?
Dev: (Developer comes to my desk). Lets see what you doing wrong here. (After 5seconds). You have been redirected to the production site and you've been testing there all this time.
Me: 😩

A couple weeks ago I told a now former client that I just "fired" that I had no remaining invoices to send them. Today I discovered a couple of invoices from a couple months ago that it appears they'd not yet paid. This is why I need to quit trying to run a business and just be an employee again. I suck at accounting.

Boss: How long will it take to finish the project?

Me: (Gives date for finishing dev and deployment.)

Boss: great, sound reasonable.

Me: ...

Boss: wait. Aren't you on vacation the two weeks after that.

Me: jup.

Boss: yeah we are not doing that again. Client can wait another two weeks.

Before someone says no Boss/PM is like that, he was/is a developer too so discussing deadlines and efforts is usually pretty relaxed since he knows our codebase and how long it takes to do things.

No matter how much we do for client, sponsor, do the app for free. They will still not be happy with me. Always trying to bullying me to get more things done for free. Plus the fucken asshole bad mouth about my company and doesn't recommend us to anyone.

This one client we did a website for free 3 years ago. Just came in today wants to revamp the website for free again but this time they want more features. What surprising is that they don't want our company link to be on the website as they don't want to tell the world that we made the website. According to my boss via sponsorship they have not given any client.

The new EU copyright reform (article 13, etc.) is getting comical.
After even the big copyright holders retracted their support for the law, it seemed to have no chance and was "put on ice".
After short while it was warmed up again by negotiating some trade offs (which are apparently hated by everyone) and it may or may not be passed in the next few weeks.
So far so idiotic.
It seem that even the initiator - Axel Voss - will not vote for the law. Unfortunately for wrong reasons. Why? It is not strict enough for him.

Anyhow, the longer text he used to present his view he he seems to - copy - his argumentation from Bertelsman (German media group).

It could be funny, if all of that wasn't so sad as there is still the possibility that this stupid law passes.

My first freelance project - happened to be with the worst client. They didnt wanna pay more than $500 and also had no clue what they want, so each time i present something they request additional features or changing the ones implemented. In the end i kept the half downpayment for my time and bailed without deploying or anything. I introduced them to another freelancer to take the project and never went near them again.

To clarify, it was not my first project/ just my first time dealing with clients for projects instead of doing them at work. Ever since then i have a strict no dealing with clients directly policy.

It is increasingly difficult to believe that Google CAPTCHAs are not deliberately made unsolvable.

Everyone hates CAPTCHA, that is nothing new. As most people know, CAPTCHA frequently whines "please try again" after the user provides the correct answer. Sometimes it shows "Please select all matching images." when no new images with the named subject exist. However, now Google is taking it to a new level.

After clicking, the pictures take five seconds to fade to white and the new pictures take another five seconds to fade in. And CAPTCHA challenges have an expiry duration of two minutes. This causes CAPTCHAs to expire before it is possible to solve them.

Does Google think I am not a human because I don't have the time to waste whack-a-moling random StreetView pictures?

I have a feeling that Google is laughing at us for wasting efforts solving CAPTCHAs that are not meant to be solved.

Here we go again. Months have passed since this client first wanted their website launched. But because they were suddenly and inexplicably in no real hurry to make it go live, we are now waiting for them to get back to us on whether to push to Production. Meanwhile, I have bills to pay and as soon as I told them I need the check by no later than April 1st, everyone over there is no longer answering phone calls or emails. Voicemail box is full and not accepting any more messages.

I think this would be the part where I call "Big Nick" and ask him to pay them a little "visit". If I knew someone like that.

So a few weeks ago, our PO really scolded my team for not letting him in on our release planning meeting. His rant went on for about 30 minutes, just one long monologue about why he should be invited in the future.
Apparently he wanted to know details since there were some important fixes in the release, which I suppose is fair (though the rant is really not necessary).

Fastforward 2 weeks, we invite him again. He accepts, but never shows up. We decide to start the planning anyway, since we don't want the release branch blocked because someone didn't show up.
Immediately after the meeting, we write him with the new release plan. And he starts ranting again about "planning without him" -.- ..

1) Stop yelling at the team you're supposed to work with. Talk with the team about it - I'm sure they'll listen.

2) If you demand being in meetings, show up - or at least decline in advance.

3) You have no right to rant about "not being part of the planning" when you were literally invited for a planning meeting 2 weeks in advance. No meetings were overlapping, so there's literally no excuse..

Yay! My first bash project :D
disclaimer - my bash is not pretty. yet.

Why I created it?
I encountered several footlong scripts in a new project at work. And they had no logging. And I am in charge of making it sing again. So here it is a tiny logging framework.

A while ago I stumbled upon this cheap vps provider called dedistation (lowest was $15/year), so I end up buying a one year subscription and transferred all of my personal sites to it. Fast forward six month later, uptime robot notified me that my vps is down. No problem, I'll just submit a ticket. Few days go by and I yet to receive a response. Not a problem, I'll just try and login via the serial interface and get my shit, no luck there either.
Seems like these motherfuckers just packed up and went offline without a shit given.
No response, no notification untill today! How more twat a company could be?
Lessons learned the hard way
- always backup regularly
- check and transfer nameserver or no emails for days.
- you get what u pay for (haven't learned this fully yet. Went again with a cheap legit-ish provider (arubacloud)

This is the last time Microsoft! I'm getting my old Arch image out and removing you from my life forever! Never again will my linux distro randomly uninstall itself without telling me in the middle of implementing new components and crash my development server. Never again will I have to deal with an update that refuses to STFU and go away until I, ME NOT YOU MICROSOFT, decides it's a good time to run the update. No more lack of customization and poor support of common dev tools. I'M DONE WITH YOU, WE NEED TO SEE OTHER PEOPLE.

Fuck, fucking cock sucking stupid ass prick of a little black box, why, why the fuck do you not fucking boot any more, all you have to do is fucking boot but no, that's to much for you to fucking do!

Ah well, good thing it's only a Rpi!

It had a good life, now to wipe the card and start again! I

So I get home from work, sit down infront of my computer and start browsing a few sites.

The loading times was not as fast as they should so I checked out my network setup. I had been auto connected to my ISP provided modems WiFi, which happens every now and then, so I reconnect to my faster and better WiFi AP.

Invalid password. What? Ok.. Let me just type in the same password, slowly..
Invalid password. MF..... Same password, looking down at my keyboard.
Invalid password. GDMF...

Browse to my AP config site, type in username and password.
Invalid password. Oh no you fucking did not just deny me entry as well.
Ok. Something is up and I'm going to get to the bottom of this!

Boot up Kali, fires loads of crap at the WiFi and the site. Still no damn luck! WTH!
I go upstairs to my AP, turn it off and on again.

I can now login on both my AP WiFi and config page.
It had frozen.
Thats two hours of troubleshooting for a "have you tried turning it off and on again" solution.
I feel great about my competence after this.

tl;dr version: I now hate Windows​.

<background>
I installed​ Ubuntu in dual boot on my PC and I was sceptical.
After one month everything is working perfectly. I'm loving this OS although I still am not an expert, and I doubt I'll ever go back to Windows.
</background>

Now. Today at school we were drawing using a CAD software and, for no reason at all, Windows crashed. This is not a terrible thing, as I usually save often, but this time it also corrupted the file and I had to start from scratch again!

Why Windows, why?

Each time I try firefox after somebody mentions it again or it's in my rss feed, it still seems to never actually advance

It's stuck and either gets worse or goes back to its stable non improving level again, how come do they still not have a proper mobile responsive tester, why are even the upgraded addons still suffering the same container and rendering bugs

how is it more important getting bad image by implementing mr robot malware, than getting on an actual competitive level

why is it default bloated with random pocket addon bullshit, why did it begin to lag, ..

I remember when I was using firefox for a good portion of my life and laughed at how google chrome is laggy, but nowadays theres simply no competition to chrome, its stability and developer tools

I wish there was competition, the grid tools were a great start, but then nothing followed and they just went back to their never improving flatline

I started noticing something about startups here. They all think they r innovative and full of fresh ideas, but they all just copy bigger companies. My old coworker started a small web dev company and they are using php with react, the company ladder is the fucking same as anywhere else.

I noticed these as i was collecting ideas for a company (if i write that word again pls shoot me). So far we are thinking
0) no, or minimal local storage, we would have a github subscription, jira cloud, vps
1) no strict hierarchy, ultimately the ceos would make the decisions but in every meeting we would include even the interns
2) the stack would not be set in stone, java spark and vuejs are good starting points but frameworks exist to serve a purpose
3) like 2-3 days office time per week, if someone wants to work from a café, why not

not sure if this totally classifies as a rant, but here goes:

so my Pi is giving a lot of problems. can't install software, keep getting weird error messages. so I try DD a new image onto the card. does not work at all. tried on three different machines :D
next I try run rm -rf /
it's obviously totally fucked. nothing works. pull the plug and plug it in again to see what happens.... it boots up again :D all the commands are back. no files are gone.

and that's when I was like fuck this and I returned the sd card :D

1 Week ago I took down the development version of an internal demo, leaving only the prod one (temporary space issue). Colleagues were told n+15 times via email, face to face, comments on tickets etc. The prod one has also been live for weeks, and again, they were told when it went up.

This just happened:

Colleague 1: practiseSafeHex can you help me, the demo doesn't seem to be working.

Me: *logs in*, *click around* ... seems fine dude. Are you using the correct URL: <prod-url>.

Colleague 1: let me try again and see.
Colleague 2: practiseSafeHex i'm with Colleague 1, were trying to use the demo, and its not working. Can you have a look, we need it.

Me: I just told him, its fine, I think you have the wrong URL <prod-url>. Can you try again.

Colleague 2: No I have the right one, can you check it.

Me: *does nothing*, yep i've had a look at it, can you try again: <prod-url>.

Colleague 2: Ah its back now, cheers.

They are with a customer now, so I won't say anything, when they get back, one of them is being castrated.

RANT

We use Exact for our time sheets/hour tracking. How it's supposed to work:
-Manager plans my hours in Exact.
- I work those hours on the given projects
== All fine till here ==
But then ... there is a button (don't know the correct translation) "realise" which books the planned hours for me. So I don't have to do it manually.

This simply didn't work!! No one seem to know why not... Not even the guys at Exact.

Since it's web based I opened the developers window and looked for the call behind the button. You would think it would be at least an Ajax call thingy (I'm not completely into JS)
Turns out it's a readable JS function!

It doesn't stop there... It first makes all calculations on what to display, at last, at the fucking end, it checks a setting whether to proceed the booking or not!!!!

So I found and switched the setting and tried the button again.... Now it fucking works...

No fucking way I am going to tell Exact what the problem is 😫

Freelance Headhunters...

No idea where they got my name and the number of my work phone...

- they do not give a damn and call me 1045 am to discuss "EXCITING BUSINESS OPPORTUNITIES™"

- they are sure I am having a case of stockholm syndrome, because I could NEVER be satisfied in my current employment

- they call every other day with a new number and start the same process again

How fucking dense can people get?

The best/worst code comments you have ever seen?

Mine:

//Upload didn't work, have to react:
system.println('no result');

//$Message gives out a message in the compiler log.
{$Message Hint 'Feed the cat'}

//Not really needed

//Closed source - Why even comments?

//Looks like bullshit, but it has to be done this way.

//This one's really fucked up.

//If it crashes, click again.

asm JMP START end; //because no goto XP

catch {
//shit happens
}

//OMG!!! And this works???

asm
...
mov [0], 0 //uh, maybe there is a better way of throw an exception
...
mov [0], 0 //still a strange way to notify of an error

// this makes it exiting -- in other words: unstable !!!!!

//Paranoic - can't happen, but I trust no one.

else {
//please no -.-
sleep(0);
}

//wuppdi

for (int i = random(500); i < 1000 + random(500 + random(250)); i++)
{
// Do crap, so its harder to decompile
}

//This job would be great if it wasn't for the f**king customers.

//TODO: place this peace of code somewhere else...

// Beware of bugs in the code above; I have only proved it correct, not tried it.

{$IFDEF VER93}
//Good luck
{$DEFINE VER9x}
{$ENDIF}

//THIS SHIT IS LEAKING! SOMEONE FIX IT! :)

/* no comment */

On a non-Dev forum about a hobby topic, someone felt the need to go all woke about certain famous creators in said hobby. Particularly that those creators have ideas and philosophies antithetical to the (ever shifting) ideals of wokeness. And that everything those creators made should be destroyed and never allowed to be portrayed or discussed in public again. In the name of tolerance, of course.

If this starts to happen to the dev world to the point that I can no longer earn a living because it has become known that I have possibly committed or might commit Thoughtcrime because of who I associate with, I will be glad to see that asteroid, polar flip, or worldwide EMP reset. Because humanity can’t progress if no one can write, sing, play, or make something simply because they are not woke enough.

aight boys i'm doing it
i'm switching to Linux full-time

no i'm not using arch or arch-based, i lost my arch bootdisk and i'm not spending another 100hrs on making it work again

Job Application Rant #1

So, today I found a great job posting on Linkedin. I was excited and created a unique cover letter and my resume and applied. The job was in another country and I need EU work visa for the job.

The contact for the post was also founder of the company. I asked him, via Linkedin, that if they would sponsor the visa for me if everything went good.

He replied to me that " yes we do sponsor visas, but you have only 3 years of programming experience..."(three dots included). I was like wtf, did I miss important part of post about experience minimum limit or something. I would not like to be spam-applier, guy who applies without reading requirements etc.

I checked requirements again there is no minimum experience limit. Anyways, I thanked him for swift response but damn bruh, do not put unlockable requirements to job posts, so someone's dream would not be crushed.

I quit my first dev job of less than 6 months. Nothing lined up but it was not what I wanted and I was burning out quickly. Felt like a zombie, thinking of my work after work, and unable to get anything into my head, isolated and other needs not met for an entry level developer.

I luckily have money saved up for a year and hitting leetcode and everything else. Will I find a job right away? Probably not. However, I took the first position within a month of interviews during the pandemic and regret that I stopped applying even when I saw the red signs.

I’m scared but I didn’t beat my head against the wall at school to be taken advantage of like this (imo they need a senior).

2020 was trash as a fresh grad but maybe this year will be different. I know more than before and I especially know what I don’t want.

Here we go again, no looking back now.

I have successfully achieved the developers nightmare.

Eating with siblings at the table yesterday and found the printer to be broken, again. Okay, easy fix, I thought; connect it back to the WiFi and its good.

My mom asks to teach her how to fix it, but it was too late because I already did. But then there was my younger brother. He says “Ask Gerry, he is the printer guy.” (No, Gerry is not my real name)

I didn’t take it too hard but I did joke with him by fake attempting to punch him. I think he got the point.😂

So I came up with an interesting idea for a quick side project. "Should be doable in an afternoon," I thought to myself.

Then I sat myself down and started diagramming all the components and sections I'd need to build. Suddenly, simple project no longer seems so simple.

...dammit, not again.

So we have a desktop in each meeting room. In case you need to present something. And some of the desktops, if the previous person hasn't gracefully logged off, you can't log on.

Most people would take down the login id, run back to their own desktop, lookup and call the previous person to come and log off.

I'm not one of those nice people as you've already guessed - but there's no reset button on those desktops.

So instead of holding the power botton for a few seconds and tap again, I just unplug the power, and plug it back on.

Why do tech impaired people always break their tech and they have "no idea" how it broke...
Seriously? What did you do? You know what you were doing? Were you touching random setting again? For fuck sakes just tell me. You've fucking it up 3 times this week already it's not like I don't know your an incompetent prick.

That frustrating moment when you ask a Yes/No question and you get a full warstory and a conclusion to that story that doesn't answer the question and leaving you wondering why instead.

I just asked permission if I should implement this new feature on Dev/Test environment. Not gonna ask again next time.

Situation:

Php not loading oci8 connector for oracle database in windows server, got the all famous and feated oci_connect unknown function error.

Solution:
Check to make sure that the stupid dll is in the extensions folder ---> check

Check to make sure that the extension_dir path is done properly inside php.ini ---> check

Ensure that extension=php_oci8_11g.dll is inside php.ini ---> check

I have no fucking clue why this piece of shit would stop working all out of the sudden and would not fucking work. But here i am yet AGAIN trying to fix something for the fucking web tech department because their fucking lead dev is out.

I
Fucking
HATE

Having to deal with php configurations. Such a fucking pain in the fucking ass man.

FUUUUCKING WOOOOOORK

Be me at work, 12h nights shift, 4th day like that
Following online course on machine learning, instructor says we'll use python 3.x as the interpreter for the project, boot personal laptop and start pycharms, create the file, choose right interpreter no big deal
pip install the modules I need for the course - done, try to import them.
Doesn't work, first reboot, still not working, browsing Internet for answers, no ideas, reboot again (you never know) reload pycharms, browse Internet again, find out the modules only work on python 2.7.
Wasted 45minutes for this shit
Feels good bro.

Big Brand Company

Wasted 2 days on induction about what to do and how to do.

After 2 days, Reach at workplace and called my line manager (LM). after 2 3 calls, he pick the phone and said please reach to 3.2L5

Now what the heck is this term how the hell I know what means by this magical number. It was never told in the induction that what building name is denoted with.

Called LM again and now LM annoyed at me and said to enter into building and ask for XYZ person ..I asked whom I need to ask..He said ask anybody..

When I enter I ask a security guard there and he was like numb...There are fucking 5000 people in the company.How someone will know by name..Is that guy is superstar or something?

Again called the LM, Now he yelled at me. ..Why you are asking the security guard ..I said he do not allow me to enter so what I need to do..I requst him to please guide me as I am new and nervous here..

Again no luck ..Asked already 4 to 5 people..

Finally one guy who also joined with me, helped me to reach the guy.

LM was actually running late and when he reach, I came near to him 2 greet ans he again shouted with loud voice " What are you doing man"

#firstDay

GIT LOG VERSION 110
---------------
a9c2934 I don't believe it
fb8d2e6 I am Root. We are Root.
6be9078 FINALLY FIXED THE FUCKING BUG IN THE CODE, DO NOT EVER EVER FUCK ME AGAIN YOU MARON
3d08a88 THIS IS THE FUCKING WORKING VERSION
013faed THIS IS NOT WHAT YOU ARE LOOKING FOR, GO TO A PREVIOUS COMMIT
af5d013 We'll figure it out on Monday
49e238b de-misunderestimating
a40351b happy monday _ bleh _
a5f345d Fixed unnecessary bug.
485a26a pay no attention to the man behind the curtain
c4fcbde s/import/include/

I decided to tweak my two years old-mild overclocking on my main/home pc, to get more juice out of it.

Started with small steps running benchmarks each time I upped the clock.
Didnt crash me once up until it crashed while windows was booting after restart.
I thought to myself, that's normal, now I just have to lower it a bit until I find the sweet spot.

After windows finished crash dumping, restarted, lowered clock from bios, and headed to boot windows.

Windows recovery came up to scan my installation, pretty normal after a bsod.
I was waiting for it to finish, thinking that ofc there is no error you silly windows, until the recovery said that it could not recognize the error.

Proceeding to boot normal windows via the correspndent button in the recovery, the recovery itself came up again scanning for errors. I waited again only for the same outcome, and restarted my pc.
Yeap the recovery again scanning for errors.

How the hell did my boot became corrupted after just a crash. I've been fighting since yesterday for hours to fix this shitty situation but to no avail. I really dont want to clean install...

I couldnt even sleep well last night thinking that I have to fix this after work today...

Fuck my life, fuck windows

University decided we have to use Wolfram Mathematica with instructions how to *cough* find it *cough* for free. I was really annoyed with this, because I didn't want to "find it" so I stumbled upon SageMath and it's working good enough. I get pissed when somebody tells me I have to pirate software (I'm no saint, I've done it before), it's not fair to students who don't have 100$ to throw at a software they'll use for 3 months and never again probably...

Earphones on.

Notifications off.

A boss who is the most inefficient boss ever. No, yours is not, mine is, trust me.

In the middle of coding, never in the zone for obvious reasons. A workmate wants me to call him to discuss stuff as he is working from home, which I wish I were.
I keep coding and decide to call him later.

My boss interrupts me again to TELL ME IF I CAN CALL MY WORKMATE.
Whyyyyyy
FML.

So I'm writing this code, that does 2 important things, that cannot be seperated. I run the code, thing1 is correctly executed, thing2 not. No fucking idea, why this happens. Execute again, same result. Debugg the wohle thing, now everything works fine.
WHAT?
I check the code, there are no background tasks, no paralell processing, nothing that should go wrong.
Asking a Senior developer for help, he also has no fucking idea. He tells me to try to wait one second between the two things. Looking for a delay() or wait() function in my programming language but there is none. Ok, building my own delay, writing a "do 1000 times" loop, calculate some shit in it. Execute the code, it works perfectly.

Nobody has a fucking idea, why this is happening and why this solution is working, but now the code is productive and it works fine.