*Trying to finish up this project I'm doing*

Me: "Fuck this shit I'm done shit doesn't work"

*non-dev girlfriend sits in front of computer*

GF: "I believe this line shouldn't be here it messes up what happens in the loop. Or atleast that's what it looks"

*checking it*

Me: "So what's your ring size again"

It's such a lovely day, sun is shining, think I'll sit outside with my laptop and a beer and continue working on personal project.

(...goes outside)

It's too bright, can't see shit, plus working on two screens is easier

(goes back inside)

Do not ever develop a project for family or friends.
It's the fucking worst decision you will make.
Damn i wish I knew this shit earlier.
They make you become an asshole.

Real conversation:

dev 1: so what are you working on these days?

dev 2: some wordpress project.

dev1: hahaha. wordpress is shit. are you a real developer?

dev 2: have you ever used wordpress?

dev1: no.

dev2: okay.

So today I got removed from my freelance project because the client found out I listen to slipknot! What the actual FUCK? How the FUCK does it matter what I listen to?

And that cunt eater isn't willing to pay for the work I've already completed since "Slipknot is anti-Christian".

Burn in hell you piece of shit.

New job
New project
Main React component file
20028 loc
Can’t make this shit up

For halloween I dress up as my current project deadline. Nothing is more scary than that shit!

I've always been anxious about putting my stuff on GitHub.

However, I did upload a project of mine there.

Thoughs few minutes after uploading it:

"Omg, is anyone judging how bad my code is?"
"I'm sure they will criticize it."
"O shit, I forgot a // TODO in there."
"O shit did I upload my credentials by mistake?"
"Does this commit message sound right?"
"Should I commit more often?"
"Do I commit too often?"

Yes of course we can have a fourth meeting this week to discuss possible KPI’s for the project.

I have a suggestion though, since the first deliverable is 3 weeks away and it doesn’t work yet, maybe I could spend time ON the project ... so I can build something that could be a KPI ... and not piss off the other companies for delivering nothing.

Of course I’m not a manager, so what do I know, but this shit might be why people keep leaving the team. Perhaps devs don’t enjoy having no time on the project while simultaneously being yelled at for not getting it done.

Thank god I completed and published my project before shit happened.

Was running tests on a big project I'm doing which still contains a fair amount of bugs but I was sure that all thresholds would succeed and the test wouldn't fire an alert.

Ran the test: alert received any fucking way.

FUCK.

*checks rule*
*waaaait a second, I've set the threshold differently by accident...*

HOLY SHIT THIS MEANS IT WORKS 😵

*pats project* - "good project 😊"

Project manager, a few months ago: "why did you do this task? It's all wrong. It's a backend task, not a frontend task so you shouldn't have done it. Don't do it again."

PM, today, regarding the same task in a different project: "why didn't you do this task? The project isn't complete without it. It isn't right. You should have done it."

Are you fucking serious? If we do it it's wrong, if we don't do it it's wrong too. So why should I bother? Seriously, fuck you you piece of shit.

Q: WHO THE FUCK USES EXCEL FOR PROJECT MANAGEMENT?
A: My Product Manager

Excel because she cant wrap her head around using Trello. WHAT THE FUCK!
Some people exist just to make things more difficult for everyone else. Fucking pain in the ass.
This person is one of the most incompetent one I have ever met.

I dont have enough words to express my rage right now.

My boss codes, I'm lead Dev:
Boss: "just finished an MVP of the X project. It's 3 files and 1800 lines of code, plus triggers... "
Me: "Shieeet..."
Boss: "yup, your shit, you'll be refactoring it"
Me: *sigh*

We want to improve the portal by making apps for it what can you do or recommend?

Well holy shit this is new you're actually asking the dev team for advice on a future project.

Normally you immediately go to a third party waste a shit ton of money and then tell us we have a week to add whatever it is into our system.

Then when we can't do it or have to delay other projects you're dragging our manager into a meeting with the CEO complaining that IT are refusing to cooperate or are holding up the project etc.

The change of heart is much appreciated but where the fuck did this come from? New year resolution?

Late night coding and my last git message is "changed a shit load of stuff...don't worry I got this"

Good thing this a personal project haha

*the Company closes a project and splits us in different teams*

Me: *tells the manager for half a year about feeling extremely bad in the new team which is mobbing me, caling the previous project "shit" (it was not, it simply didn't need to be alive anymore cause we found out cheap alternatives) and not letting me do anything*

Company(half a year later): *sends me into a new project* we don't get why you are underperforming lately.

Me: *full burnout after half a year of being treated as living shit* yeah. Wonder why.

Le Me: well it is the time to go back on that Android project and resume the work.

*Open Android Studio, open the project.
*Wait 10 minutes for build/index
*error: gradle outdated, that is ok, update it.
*error: some library needs update
*error: R not found
*error: internal IDE error.

*Clean Project: PC hangs, Fan go so fast..

Shit ! I even not touched the code !

So, I accidentally rm -rf'ed the folder with my personal project.
FUCK THIS SHIT.
I AM THE BIGGEST DUMBASS EVER. HOURS OF CODING, GONE. FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCKITY FUCK.
.
.
.
.
Please photorec, save my files 😢😭😢

!rant

Nothing quite like spending a day coding with a friend on a project way over your head and actually making progress and learning shit. That feel when you run your script and it gives a DIFFERENT error? Or when it doesn't even crash at all?? Or when it ACTUALLY WORKS?!

Absolutely magic.

MFW people keep starring my shit college project on github.

When you have a product owner who, on her first day of the project, asks you ' What do you mean by UI?' and a week later question a UI dev why should something take 3 days?

Are you fucking kidding me? I am done with this shit.

I hate React.js with a fucking passion. It sounds great on paper, but once your project gets any size. The mental recursive loops of passing data around is insane. Not to mention keeping consistency a cross metric shit ton of components. How do you manage it?

Me: *starts to get into electronics*
Me: *unplugs a few wires while building a project*
Me: Shit, actually, didn't want to unplug those. No worries.
Me: *instinctively reaches for the nonexistent Ctrl-Z*
Me: Oh, that's right. My actions have consequences in the real world.

FUCK Android, whoever invented this piece of shit should be really proud of themselves... And yes, this rant comes from an iOS developer who's working on a project in react-native... Why the fuck everything should always work on iOS but the same thing is fragile as shit on Android? Why the fuck there's a thousand of different versions of every Android package and every single one breaks another? Why the fuck Android is so fragmented... If this piece of shit is the definition of "openness" then I'd really prefer the "closeness" of iOS... Totally reminds me of how much I hated IE6 back in the web development days

Would you merge this shit into your project?

Fucking finally. I got a job... No one is probably gonna give a shit because it's your average governmental drone position but I wanted this for a very long time...

** drum roll **

Customs and immigration officer!!!

Thats right! Deported! Deported! Deported! *hot chick* welcome to our country!

Best thing is... Now every project can be a side project... I can chillax and build software in my spare time... I love it.

*Build project*
*Build failed*
- Arrrg! Lets try cleaning first.
*Clean project*
*Clean failed*
- ...
- What the FUCK! How does the clean fucking project fail?!? Just delete fucking output you pile of shit!

Got a complaint from users of my project. It’s finally happened: people give a shit to tell me I’m doing a bad job. Let’s fucking gooooo

Motherfucker, every fucking meeting on this project we have a fucking 3 week deadline to accomplish the fucking impossible.

And now they practically want me to rewrite the whole fucking application.

And my fucking boss can't fucking shut the fuck up and keep having "ideas" on new thing.

YEU FUKCING STUPID PIECES OF SHIT!!! HOW CAN WE ADD SHIT WHEN EVERYTHING IS HALF ASSED BECAUSE WE DONT STOP ADDING SHIT? FUCK YOU!

Soo much fun working for a cunt as a boss:

B: We getting soo close now, the plane is coming in to land.
Me: Yes, but the engine is busy falling off
B: Well, if we miss the deadline, its only us to blame.

NO YOU INSIGNIFICANT LITTLE CUNT, ITS YOU, ONLY YOU, 100% ENTIRELY YOU YOU SHIT FACED DUCK DICK.

Context:

We are on version 8 of our deadline, which was initially March, our next and final extension ends next Friday, we are this fucked ebcause all he fucking does is make bad descisions and pointless changes, we been telling hims once October to stop making changes if we ever want ot make the deadline.

Directly after he vommited that poes out of his mount he goes on to detail the massive change to the data structure that only needs to be changed as he refused ot listen to the developer when they told him not to do it that way 3 months ago.

How is it even possible that someone this moronic and incompitent can actualyl exist on planet earth. He is not even a flat earther.

*it’s friday and everything works*
> Commit
> Run my project on monday morning
> Feature doesn’t work
> No clear error message
> Everything’s gone to shit
> Nobody knows how to fix it
> 🙂🔫

It's a satisfying moment when you actually get work done on a personal project. It's comforting knowing I am capable of not being a lazy shit all the time. Gotta keep this up.

Holy shit. Didn't know I had to vent this out before I had revisited this shit.

Storytime!

Back in May last year, I started working on a dream project (call project X) of mine. Surprisingly it's still a novel idea and shit like this doesn't exist. Made some huge incremental changes. Added all the necessary automation pipeline stuff. Added some sick ass readme with screenshots/badges/glitz/glam.

Worked my ass of for about a month or so until I got distracted by other pending projects in need of clearances. Somewhere partway in that clearance period, I receive a mail from this "GitHub user" asking me why the development of project X had suddenly stopped.

I was a bit taken aback. Firstly because my project had ZERO stars and NO user interaction. Secondly because I hadn't encountered someone with confrontation like this since my middle-school teacher asking me for my homework.

Being the good, responsible child I am, I informed them on my situation and asked them to contribute according to the guidelines and I'd be more than happy to see this becoming a joint effort by the community.

Apparently, they were quite ecstatic to learn that my development was halted. They didn't have plans to contribute. Instead they wanted me to take down the project and stop working on it entirely.

Tough luck fucko.

Their organization had been working on something similar for longer than a couple of years. A similar open-sourced project will *apparently* ruin their market impact and I can *apparently* be sued for it.

I don't know much about open-source "laws" (and I've seen laws fuck people over) but this just seems retarded. At the moment, I'm not quite sure how to continue with the project. I'll still work on it but the fact being that I started receiving threats before stars makes me question the gatekeeping capacity of toxic market conditions (I still don't blame the person entirely. It's just really hard to keep your head above the water)

This is a one off thing but somehow it has definitely hampered my drive to work on the project (combined with the sheer amount of pending project that I've dug my grave with).

On the brighter side I've got 10 anonymous stars with zero promotion. 2 new message threads with productive insights and a person who says "I'm relying on this to work out". So not everything has gone to shit.

When starting a project at work:

My name everywhere. Every file, every change-list I proudly put my name to prove my skills.

Program goes for validation:

Thousands of bugs.

Realize that I've written shit code. Slowly removing my names from all over the code.

The meeting where I was thrown under the bus by my colleagues for "not making enough progress" and removed from the project. It's all good though. That project was a piece of shit and now I'm doing something I actually enjoy with a group of people I actually like.

New job...
No introduction to project
No database overview
No documentation
No commented code

Shit, hope this isn't normal in the industry I have aimed the rest of my life at

When your peer dev is ++'ing your shit on devRant instead of git pushing the project so you can work on it too 😒 @filipe095

*receives email about project*

*turns around*

PM: "Hey I just sent you an email about a project"

No. Fucking. Shit.

Really???
Love work on other guy project...
But, please, not this shit..

Boss reasoning: 9 woman can deliver a baby in one month.

My response: 9 man cum in your mother pussy and she delivered you in one month too.

welp, I said that just in my mind of course 🤐

planned a project,
spent a whole day on a feature.

3 weeks later, i realise that feature i spent a whole day on wasn't needed at all.

i'm a fucking noob ape trying to pretend it's a developer or some shit.

Me starting a project: Okay I'm stuck with this project I'll just shelve this for now

[3 weeks later]

*comes back to project*

*find a solution with problem I came stuck with*

WHAT THE FUCK BRAIN WHY DID IT TAKE YOU 3 WEEKS TO HELP ME FIX SHIT WRYYYYY

We do infra as a code, and one of my coworker worked on the project alone. Few months down the road, when shit hits the fan, he just message me this is not working.

First of all, I did not write that shit, and also I was never part of the conversation during the decision making. So when shit hits the fan what do you expect me to do? Do some black magic and fix it magically???

I FIXED THE FINAL BUG WITH MY OWN SOLUTION AND NOW IT WORKS, I EVEN SENT MY 5GB FUCKING TXT FILE.

ALTHOUGH IT TOOK FOREVER BECAUSE I FORGOT TO INCREASE THE BUFFER SIZE FROM 1KB SO IT TOOK A BIT.

BUT NOW ALL I NEED TO DO IS POLISH, MAKE SOME QUALITY OF LIFE CHANGES AND I CAN PUT THAT SHIT ON GITHUB!

THIS IS MY SECOND FINISHED PROJECT! But I do gotta thank an online friend that has been teaching me the concepts of network programming without him I couldn’t have done it. Also I’ve learned so much about how shit works thanks to him/and the project.

When you don't use OOP for a casual project, but then shit gets real and you have to redesign the whole thing

Working on a small little video game, but myself.

I need an artist eventually.

But for now, I've got my little dude running and jumping. It's shit but at least I made it myself.

Also got a big project at work that might get me promoted but don't really care about that.

Boss: -We're firing one of our freelancers and you are taking over one of his projects.
Me: -OK, what is it?
Boss: Old POS project written in Java.
Me: -But I'm C# developer. I haven't touched Java in years!
Boss: -You'll manage...

FML I've managed to finish and fully refactor this piece of shit project.

- I say the project is shit and it'll be hell for everyone involved
- Management says we'll do it anyway
- Project keeps being hell for everyone involved
- Management reprimands the team for letting hell consume us
- I (again) point out the project is hell itself
- Management maintains it's our fault
- I am Tired™️

In the middle of a big project, many demands from the biggest client of yhe company, he left the country and called the boss after 2 days tellinf him he's not coming.
boss is angry,
client is angry,
I am happy.. because client is a piece of shit liar asshole

*decides to take another look at the Arduino Mega and LCD*
*suddenly realizes that this LCD controller that I bought has a different pinout*

"Alright, let's look at the seller's product page and they better have a pinout for this fucking thing"

*tries to log into AliExpress*
*can't login*

"At this point I don't even know anymore if it's China that fucked up again or whether this is another feature from the Facefucks"
"LOG ME FUCKING IN ALREADY YOU PIECE OF SHIT!!!"

And honestly, if I want to start a project, I want to work on the fucking project. I don't want to have to deal with all this shit instead!!!

(Disclaimer: This rant is satire and only here to feed an algorithm by @PrivateGER)

This FUCKING fuck company where I had my fucking shit internship - just fucking asked me to freaking work for another project and fucking baiting me with a shitty damn payment for my little shit project I had (and still fucking work on today) while I had this damn internship. This idiot wants me to fucking waste my free time besides FUCKING SCHOOL (doing my absolute nonsense uselessfuck Abitur) and my lovely PASSIONATE GAME PROJECT with shit damn HTML-ing and CSS-ing and good damn JS-ing - for a SHITHEAD-200€ JOB. This bastard wants me to register my ass as a "Kleingewerbe" (dunno english therm but it's a small similar for to being freelancer) probably to enslave me or USE me as a cheapass worker. I'll call this dude today and politely tell him to FUCK OFF!!

(Nothing against the company, they're freaking cool! The dude too)

That moment when you have refactored so much shit, then really broken the project, but can't see yourself doing a git revert because you had invested so much time and know ultimately it *needs* these changes...

Thank god I fixed it! 😌

PSA: If you work on a project where code review is expected and there is a migrations framework set up for you, and you choose to self-merge/commit directly to master and update the prod database in the console instead of writing migrations, your coworkers hate you and you can eat shit. That is all.

Co-worker: Why are you deleting this piece of code?

Me: It's deprecated and it can be made in a better way. Don't worry, I know what I'm doing

Also me: OH SHIT THE ENTIRE PROJECT IT'S RUINED

Isn't it great when you start a project with nothing but dedication and enthusiasm to have it ruined by someone that just doesn't care and proceeds to shit on everything you have worked for.

Has anyone ever taken on a project where you dont know what you are getting yourself into, and then start it and going down the rabbit hole of docs and then at some point ask yourself "what the f u c k am i doing?"

Just finished a project that was estimated to be 8 weeks long with 2 devs. I was given the project 2 weeks ago with no one else to work with. It's going to a few hundred thousand users tomorrow.

Still underpaid and stressing over rent.

Definitely still not getting that salary adjustment...

Fuck this shit. 😐

Don't you just hate when your boss goes like:
"Why isn't this feature working?"

SHIT FUCK, IF I KNEW THE REASON, MAYBE I WOULD HAVE FIXED THAT SHIT, INNIT?

WHAT KIND OF FUCKING QUESTION IS THAT?

"Well you should have tested better"

IT TOOK A MONTH FOR 1 USER TO SEE THAT BUG, WHAT DO YOU EXPECT? YOU EXPECT ME TO SEE THAT BUG IN THE FEW HOURS OF TESTING I CAN ACTUALLY DO FOR THIS PROJECT?

"There also are other 15 project to get done"

FUCK THIS SHIT

My supervisor's flaky attitude is annoying the shit out of me.
Mate, why would you agree to hire me for the project I wanted to do (and get me to move halfway across the planet) and then tell another colleague that I'm focusing too much on my project and they should give me their extra work?

Like, I get it but I don't get it. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Perks of having a shit machine:
You get to browse DevRant while your project compiles, or recovers from freeze.

teacher assigned me a task for a school project that i dont want do.

i thought "F*uck why i have to waste my time on this shit!?!"

luckily I just discovered that it just required 2 lines of C++ and 10 lines of js.😊

What I say:

Ah shit man! Spring break! Finally gonna be able to continue working on my personal project. Study, catch up with some books and tv shows while continuing to code!

What my wife hears:
Oh cool! Now I have someone to drive all around town getting me useless shit that I don't need while I am at work!!!

-_____________________________-

Want to switch to Linux so bad right now. Getting tired of Windows and its shit. It took 12 minutes just to shut down!!! I'm just holding back until I finish this project I'm working on for Uni so I don't mess things up. After that it's goodbye Windows!
What distro should I try first? ;)

You know your expertise is increasing when you're working on your side project for over a year, and you thought the code you wrote in the beginning was so awesome and such a master piece. Now, one year later you realize it's shit.

Don't you feel sometimes like you may not be as good dev as you think you are? Like all you do is search for chunks of code in stackoverflow so you can assamble a semi functional project.

I'm having one of those days, and it just feels like shit.

Was fixing my project for college the whole night... when I finished it was around 07:30, the sun was rising, a steaming mug of coffee in front of me and I was like “That’s why I love this shit so much”

On my project the customer has re-signed into a contract several times when they have budget to continue work. The first time they got us to build the system was a huge success story because the team was assembled quickly and we did rapid development. Initialize repo to prod in 1.5 months. The customer asked for the same dev team. Strong dev team, a PM that doesn't take shit, and pure agile. Lets call her don't-take-shit PM.

When the customer re-signed the executive decided that she didn't like don't-take-shit PM. So the project manager gets replaced by play-by-the-rules PM who will comply with stupid requests and micromanagement. He isn't a bad PM but he tries to make everyone happy. The amount of management types executive installs on the project is massive, and development team is cut down in major ways. Customer and executive shit rolls down to the development team and we can't get anything done. The customer starts to lose faith because we can't get traction. They start demanding traditional waterfall/SDLC docs. Which causes more delay in the project.

So the executive decides that the PM can take a fall for it to save face for the company. She moves play-by-the-rules PM to another project. He starts handover to a new PM that has a history of being her pushover. The customer hadn't seen him yet so now we have push-over PM.

Play-by-the-rules PM is finally out of the project and instead of moving to a different account the company decides to "lay him off because there is no work". So basically they made him take the fall for the failure while promising reassignment, and instead let him go. This is so unfair..

Meeting with push-over PM yesterday and he shows us his plan. Identical to play-by-the-rules PM's plan that got him axed.We point that out and show him the docs that were made for it. His face clearly communicates "OH SHIT WHAT DID I SIGN UP FOR?"

Fuck you google android IME team and fuck their open source policy..

So recently i had a chance to work with AOSP LatinIME code, basically our Android keyboard was forked from very old code base of LatinIME and my job was to change its base version to latest Version available on AOSP repository. Downloaded latest Android 8 codebase. Did 2 weeks of deep investigation of what improvements we will get from upgraded code base.

And I came to know that those Google fucking cunt sucking dick heads deprecated that project and broke the whole thing to a pice of shit. Half of the code is broken with fucked up todo stuff and motherfucking missing method implementation with not implemented warnings. What those motherfucker did is that they abandoned the open-source project after they released Google GBoard, and fucked the stable code by adding quard gram support and dictionary download with multi account features which was never completed by those motherfuckers..

Those misguiding donkey shit fuckers kept a depreciated project in AOSP build tree which has not received a single fucking commit from shitty ass Google IME team, is said to be reference model of Android IME implementation..

What kind of fucking shit is going with open-source code in name of making competition high with thirt party Android keyboard developers ..

Fucking shit fucking ime team .. fuck you .. wasted my fucking time reading your shitty code base .. Fucking shit

Story time!

I moved from React Dev to fullstack like halve a year ago. Three months ago I became project lead and now I will start to become a team lead.

Holy shit I'm growing fast

<rant>
Don't fucking tell me to move business logic from the service to the controller. Don't fucking tell me it will enable an "event driven architecture." Don't fucking use Angular for this project if you're just gonna shit on best practices and write convoluted, messy, inconsistent code and force your coworkers to do the same!
</rant>

Fuck this shit, I'm done, mentally broken. I am trying to setup some basic Java project using buck. Their build times looked super promising and I wanted to migrate my multi module maven project to it.

I am currently working on it for FIVE hours now. And this fucking piece of SHIT doesn't work as I want it to. WTF FACEBOOK, IS IT SO HARD TO WRITE PROPER DOCUMENTATION THAT IS NOT OUT OF DATE?! People warned me, I ignored them. FML.

The time I used to try to get the repo working could have been used to build the project 250 times -.-

"How many time do you need to close this task?"
"Mmh I guess 3 days and half"
"Ow..the delivery is this evening, is that a problem?"

Dude. Seriously, what the fuck!

Caught up in a deathmarch project with buzzword driven, childish architects who treat devs like insects and brag about their non existant experience and achievements while imposing completely idiotic requirements and unrealistic milestones. I feel shit right now.

Me at 2:00 AM be like:

“WHY THE **FOOK** IS THIS CONSTRAINT BREAKING???”
“WHY IS XCODE SUCH A PIECE OF SHIT?”
“BROKE THE PROJECT FILES... HERE WE FUCKING GO AGAIN.”
“MEMORY ERRORS? H O W”

I started a project with a friend 2 years ago, we were excited and shit until we burned out and ended up not talking for half a year

“Think about a project that can have a impact on the world, develop that and you will get jobs”

Me: A non shit emoji keyboard for Linux 😎

I am sick of localizing every fucking shit in every fucking project. I wish to move a different country and work in a company where they talk, eat, shit only in English.

That moment when you realise your ideas are shit.

Just wasted 2 hours of my life looking through my colleagues code because he decided to build it at the last moment, install it at customer, and then take the day off.

If he had just started the project he would have seen it crash.

I hate people who don't test their own shit

Some people get ego boost when they get positions like team lead or manager for software development team. In a nutshell you don't know shit about programming how the fuck you became tech lead? You fucked up the entire project that you managed and now shifting blame on someone else. Well fuck you!

ughh, studying about various software project management methodologies and lifecycles is so boring.

every different model looks similar, saying :
you got an idea?
- check weather its needed and if its practically / financially possible
- get investment and resources,
- design,develop, test, release
- repeat .
why name them waterfall or spiral or rad or agile or shit?

and we know how project go in reality: "fuck its 2 days to release and 5 features left? push to prod, make breaking features, leave the tests and release"

You guys ever get "Project Zoned"?

When you've been consulting with a client for the past few weeks and then in the end they say "I've decided I'm not going to move forward because it's better for me, blah blah blah. But if I did you'd be the person to do it."

But you spent all that time trying to close the project that seemed so attainable at the time, thinking about the money you could be making. Then you get hit with that shit stick.

God.

Yes i do love spending hours tryna fix an error and then magically being able to build the project after taking a shit

Hey guys.
Well I've been down last months due to a burn out and medication.
Last ween I finally got my first arduino, then second and two kits...
Now I'm addicted...
Stopped Proscriating with games.
Started learning electronics and shit, specially , started cleaning... And just did my first project :p

Upgrading Unity with petrifying dread, contemplating the shit loads of work I have to do in order to fix my project as it used depricated APIs.

Project manager ending argument with "it's because we have a shit culture"

serious question - is a fucking project ever finished and put away or is it common in the dev world to redo the same fucking pointless shit over and over again?

*spends 2 hours actually coding and working on the project*
*remembers hasn't made any commit*
Welp, guess it's time to do the git shit.

While in the banking world, I had a project where I had to automate an import into a shit system called CRAWiz. The data had to come from multiple archaic loan systems with no API and tons of shit data.

After implementing, the shit data came to light. Instead of fixing shit data (and using their loan systems correctly), they decided to go back to digging through physical files and manually importing. They blamed CRAWiz and decided to go with a new system to import their shit data into. I warned them repeatedly that a new system would not fix the shit data but they couldn't accept it. I left at that point. 😂

That feeling when the project is on GIT, but your retarded colleague uses FTP. Fuck this shit!

I don't want to work on the project at my job anymore. It's an over engineered piece of shit.

I work on my pet project at home, but only for about 20 minutes at a time. After that, I feel the need to walk away and waste my time with other non-productive activities.

How do I get my love for development back? Has the corporate world killed it?

Trying to debug why there's NaN% instead of 15% (project in JS).
Later realises isNaN(Val) literally checks for NaN datatype rather than Val is a number or not.
*shit*
Ctrl Shift F - isNaN in Atom (searches entire project), rethinks logic, refactors code
Looks around *no ones there*
Silently pushes the changes along with another major commit.

When a dev leaves a project in the middle, and someone else has to continue their shit, that's the worst fucking thing ever!
3000+ lines of codes in just one class? Fuck!
I don't even know where to put my code, where to put debugger break points, where to... fuck fuck fuck!!! >_<

I was recently hired as a front end dev for a certain project. The owner of the project already had a backend guy who apparently was almost done. The guy was using a django to develop the website and just when we were about to integrate the front-end and backend he fucking bailed out! Saying he had another project. So I downloaded his code from github so that I could complete the backend myself but holy fucks it was so horrible... This guy didn't even know what he was doing... Just creating a million django apps which didn't do shit.. Oh and did I mention he used django 1.1... Such a shit head! But good for me... I'll be the one getting paid for the whole thing...

OMFG HOW CAN SOMEONE FUCK A PROJECT SO HARD IN TWO WEEKS???

I struggled for 6 months to keeps a minimal pattern and logic throughout the project between tight deadlines and changed scopes, but in two weeks they managed to literally shit on top of it and now I have to fix this bullshit?

Oh boy...I really don't know if I fucking scream, punch someone or rage quit.

When you start a new project and you think that you will no longer have problems with git.... after one week you see yourself sending classes to your colleagues via mail to push them for you. Shit man

Holy shit the documentation I'm doing on this project is amazing

Remember that time I did an interview and it went horribly and I wanted to die then got called back and aced that shit? Well I got the job. Pay is bunkers too. Excited to be part of a new very cool project.

you know you are in some deep shit when project manager asks for username and password on dev environment

... and as bonus: IE is his default browser

love when I've worked 7 months getting this project in order and a lead is placed on top of me that knows nothing.. and I have to spend most my day training/fixing their shit

!rant !dev
Finished side project last month. It was hell of a ride, about 300-350 hours of programming and solving problems per month for over half a year, including my regular remote job.

Side project was 1 hour commute time from my house.

There were days where I was working over 16 hours per day.

During this roller coaster I also changed my diet to keto and lost about 12kg / 26 lbs.
Kept my regular remote job where I am the only backend developer.
Donated to eff.
Started listen to audiobooks and exercise to keep my mind clear and focused.
Finally I discovered devrant.

It was all crazy shit and I feel happy I did it because now 5 days after I finished this side project I started to think that my life is not so fucked up I thought it is. This gave me my confidence back.

Now it’s time to rest before some new crazy shit would hit my life.
Peace

Holy shit, my first freelance project will be field-tested for the first time tomorrow!

After a few more rounds of fixing bugs, some serious improvements, and some new features additions, I can actually say that I'm proud of the code I've written! It's not perfect, but I definitely like the way it works - AND IT ACTUALLY WORKS!

Knock on wood, hopefully it won't shit the bed tomorrow.

phew! 😨 nearly lost my shit and a days worth of work. Because I mindlessly overwrote a webdev project folder. "oh nooooooooo! how I'm gonna justify that to my boss!?"

Thankfully VS Code could undo that on those files i had open.

Omfg... Fixed 3 LifeRay 6.1.1 ce security bugs in less than a day. I should be proud, but I am actualy fucking worried I've been with this project for too long if I can already make liferay fixes THAT fast...

Am I becoming a legacy...? Shit

company lands huge enterprise project
promises client to deliver it in MIN_TIME_REQUIRED/4

No architect, no technical lead, no seniors, no designer just juniors and interns in the project.

all the project time wasted by manager making shit decisions and not giving a fuck what devs have to say about how project will be disaster if goes like this.

Now the project is officially under raging fire

Boss to dev : What happend to the project. Why are things not working?
Dev: You made decisions not us.
Boss: I don't buy it. Work 24hrs until this is done.
Dev: F*** you and this project. I am resigning.

Project idea: make a fucking neural network visualizer, that gets my fucking model and gives me a proper fancy fucking visualisation in jpeg. 😐

I'm angry cuz I have to make that shit manually rn, and shit ain't playing nice.

Q: can you do this awsome project?
A: of course, i would love to develop this shit.
Q: ok, then lets get started. btw please do this in wordpress.
A: bye

Fuck you Android Studio. You just prompted me to update, and now are saying The project is using an unsupported version of Gradle. Why the fuck did you not update Gradle (whatever the shit it is) yourself?

What was wrong with Eclipse? Why the fuck Google decided to move to this piece of crap?

This utilization shit is stupid! Seriously man what the hell! Yes yes it's an important number yes yes I don't even care. You want me to increase my utilization and at the same time be wary of the budget, which are unrealistically tight to begin with. It's freaking impossible! Who comes up with this shit?

You know what? Half of this shit ain't even my fault! A project was set for 200 hours and a guy wasted half of that trying to figure out just HOW TO CONNECT TO THE API! Like the guy only wrote 30 lines in 100 HOURS! ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME! THEN YOU PASS OVER THE PROJECT TO ME AND SAY YOU HAVE ONLY 100 HOURS LEFT TO CONNECT TO THE API, GET THE DATA (WHICH BTW DOESNT EVEN EXIST), PARSE IT, AND THEN CREATE GRAPHS AND A FULLY FUNCTIONAL SOFTWARE, WITH A USER INTERFACE THAT SHOULD RUN AS AN EXECUTABLE!!!! ME? ALONE?

MAN FUCK YOU!

Just found out that the CI for valgrind on my personal project wasn't working properly, I'm leaking memory all over the fucking place...

Fuck this shit

CEO tells us to delete every Trello boards, and make a big smoking dump of shit of a Trello board out of them, by adding every project for every plaform there, because he is a control freak, and he NEEDS to see every project all in one, because he’s “tired” of switching between boards if he wants to see the completion of a project. Like duh, this is the job of our 2 PM’s, but whatever you dumb fuck. Chaos is coming.....i’m done

"Don't worry I used to be a programmer, I'm a cool project manager"

...Scariest words I've herd in a long time

CK's nike deal

Eminem's diss shit and MGK killing it with Rap Devil

Rain

Witcher 3

Beer

Pizza

Wife free from work this weekend

Made a rather large project with Pharo and Seaside to see if I dig it(i did, but it ain't replacing my other tools anytime soon, shit requires reading far too much code and digging around dark corners of the net for it)

Finished 2 projects for work and got ahead of 2 others for this week.

Shit b, this is one interesting weekend indeed.
Yaaaaaay

I would like to murder postgres and the awful requirements of this damn project... Plus, I practically didn't sleep more than a blink last night so either postgres fucks off and gets its shit together with its transaction handling shit, or imma about to stab a bitch! 🗡 ⚔️

Watching the small interpreter that I am building compile and run as I want it to is my big highlight, I am working on a project that a lot of people will hate really (I am trying to bring back VBScript for the web, but adding a ton of shit to it to make it a proper PHP alternative, this is a side project really)

But before that? Understanding the neckbeard rants in hacker news, legit, I used to browse there trying to find perspective of what experts would think, would not understand shit, eventually, skills came (and so did the degree) and I was able to fully understand them and even interact with them.

that also squandered all notions of impostor syndrome.

Entirely my fault. I was getting frustrated that the CSS I had copied and pasted from an old project was not appearing properly. It just wouldn't work. Spent an hour before I lost my shit and closed the IDE, to discover that I was saving the old project repeatedly and hadn't even touched the new project which was serving.

Picked up a WP project with source files, npm modules etc all in the theme folder. My day will be miserable. Fuck that shit

OMFG!
Who created that overcomplicated shit called "MS Project"?!
I hope you die of something slow and painful!
FUUUUUUUUCK

This is the kind of shit that I don't want to write.
The kind of shit that should be in an STL so I never have to include it in a project.
Because it doesn't belong in a project.
And it doesn't belong in a dependency tree either.
It belongs in a language.

Planned to pull an all nighter last night cause I was procrastinating the whole weekend and the project was due today. Ended up procrastinating even more and seeing random shit on YouTube. 🙄😓

Fuck start ups with large projects with no continous integration setup on git... and very many junior devs including the CTO(Not even a googling guru).... for fucks sake we cant deliver spaghettis as iF we are coding a restauRANT... fuck this shit load of a project....

It's Monday and I am back in the office. Going to continue the project from where I left on Friday. Fuck so boring shit.

With the invention of pip every project done with python just fucken angers me. Like mostly nothing fucken works if there is a single .py file in there. You can put your easy-install.sh up your ass if it just ~tries~ to install shit via pip before because IT WONT WORK FUCK THIS SHIT!

STOP USING PYTHON FOR PROJECTS YOU RELEASE PLS CUS SHITS UNREADABLE AND WONT WORK ON MY MACHINE. MAKE ROOM FOR PROJECTS MANAGED BY NPM OR SHIT LIKE THAT WHERE `npm install` ACTUALLY DOES IT'S JOB THANKS I'M ANGRY AF.

WHAT DOES COLLECTING EVEN MEAN AND WHEN IS IT DONE DUDE?!

After 24 hours waiting for Xcode 9 to finish download, I run it on an existing project and got greeted with this:
Indexing Text

For fucknsake you piece of shit! Because indexing project isn't enough now Xcode index text! What the fuck are Apple employees smoking 😔

Software development lifecycle:
Step 1: Take shortcuts to get the project done in time.
Step 2: Wait for shit to hit the you know what
Step 3: Goto Step 1

full of contradiction.

If u try freelancing nobody would pay you shit coz theres always someone who'd do it for 100$.

If you do get a good budget freelance project, any Dev you'd consider outsourcing to to split the work with will ask for more than the project is worth.

There's a lot of competition but it's basically made up of

- people from fancy universities who dont know shit coz they think their degree is worth something on its own and expect high salaries off the bat.

- people who figured out the first group are idiots and tried to self learn, so they joined bootcamps that spoon fed them some Laravel and React and now think they are high tier engineers but may not even know their way around a bash terminal

- people who actually know their shit, went through hell to get the skills they have now, could probably spin up a startup on their own

group 3 all left the country tho

Let me tell all of you who don't like big frameworks..
The nice thing about them is that they minimize the amount of SHIT CODE all of you who think you know how to code, but actually don't, write..
And minimizes the amount of headache for the devs who need to then maintain/fix/change your SHIT CODE.

yes...lets put routes 10 dirs deep into the project and let ppl look for it..

Just got intern to “help me” on project. Told him to install nodeJs and run ‘npm install’ inside project folder that he pulled from git.

He ended up running ‘npm install’ inside C:\Program Files (x86)\nodejs

Don’t have slightest clue how he got this idea, ... I just wanted to smash my head through window by that point. Similar shit repeated whole day long.

How greedy can you get?

> boss takes half assed gdpr project : branch xyz
> branch xyz requires deprecated version of npm/node
> I re-install node this time with deprecated version
> Wow this node is configured with ant build
> ECMA 5, config but code is shit as fuck
> still I get the job done , cannot test it because code is shit as fuck and I will never any thing to fix that un healthy code
> code doesn't run on client side,
> no shit Sherlock
> get a call from boss, it urget look in it and fix it

This is the 5th time I'm going to a meeting to explain this simple detail.

Yes what you want is doable however, To do this we need to revamp another system which will require its own project to do.

This shit here is why your jobs are getting automated.

I'm relatively new to the whole development and stuff, so I have no idea how usual process goes.

So when my project moved onto closed beta, I thought I could rest a bit.

NOPE.

Apparently half the shit I've done sucks so much and I need to debug the shit out of it.

Bless the testers.

Have you ever had to fire someone? or get someone fired?

I’m thinking about a time when I should have made sure a guy was fired.
He had no business leading a project, and I knew this early on when he suggested connecting a public frontend straight to a clients’ ERP.
I wasn’t on his project but I ended up cleaning up his mess when shit hit the fan.

3 hours of work lost because the Silverlight Lightswitch project randomly decided to shit itself and corrupts it's generated datasource. Twice.

Go fuck yourself you obsolete piece of shit.

I want to code my side project.
Work is trivial, repetitive, irrelevant.

I wished I was rich so I could work on shit I'm actually interested worked in.

project-manager : what are you doing ?

me : just having some coffee .

project-manager : stop all shit go to work .

me : ok sir . got up and went for my laptop .

my mother screamed at me and screamed "what
are you doing ?"

i then realised it all a night_mare

Check this out :
Lib-A need Lib-C version 10.0.2
Lib-B need Lib-C version 9.0.0
And and ..
Lib-D need Lib-A some old version ..
And
Some other shit...my solution .. nuke the project start over and try to use as minimum libs as possible..

-Week before final project presentation.
Classmate: Dude, can you help me for our project? Its website.

Me: Sure, what you used?

Classmate: ASP. NET

Me: Ok....I don't know much about it but let me see.

Classmate: No, I just want your help with flowchart, sequence diagram and use case diagram.

Me: ..................
*in mind: how the fuck m supposed to do that shit I don't even know much about your website*

(still I drew few basic flowcharts for them)

Just "finished" a side project (I know right, unprecedented) to be graced immediately afterward with another approach to vastly improve one of its features. Well shit, now I HAVE to implement it otherwise it'll just bug the shit out of me for the rest of time!

WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO ME BRAIN! JUST LET ME FINISH MY SHITTY SIDE PROJECTS WITH PEACE AND QUIET!

!rant

So I started learning Golang.
I have to say, I heard the language was good but holy shit!

I got my eye on you implicit interface implementation👀👀

I can't wait to start my first project with a clusterfuck of compositions 🤤

P.s: syntax is kinda weird ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Best: i learned a lot this year, cant really highlight anything but i got better at networking stuff, im happy about that

Worst: using xamarin forms probably, it was a literal hellhole and midway through the project microsoft abandoned winphone so there was absolutely no reason to keep using that shit

How was your day?

Mine wasn't bad. Seems like the project I am working on gets on track, I mean my team (squad) is able to do good things, I really like all the people I have on board. We all are in the same miserable but sometimes funny world.

Shit happens all the time, but at least there are other people we can share the shit with.

Had a university project with friends, got another guy (#1) in our team. Upon being asked if we would take yet another guy (#2), we were sceptical if he was a good developer... Turned out guy #2 is one of the best of us, guy #1 can't do shit.

When you're done with your side of a project but you're waiting on other people.... Then you're the one that still gets bitched at by Mr. CEO man. Piss off, I've done my part. No I can't just upload it the way it is, no I won't upload it the way it is. Go tell the other spit fucks to get me their shit so I can finish the project.

So, after having my mental breakdown with the 500k LoC Zend Frameshit PHFuck 5.5 with 0 test project, for a whole year; and after moving to a better job, I now inherited a React/Node/GraphQL project with a shitty architecture. It's so shit technical debt can almost be payed with actual cash... or flesh, ass-for-arch.

However, line test coverage is over 90%, so I guess it is an improvement.

Looking for where a certain value is set I found that our project has a (undocumented) class FunctionsHandler which extends a (undocumented) PIHandler which extends an (undocumented) AbstractHandler which extends Object. All of them do random shit. Somebody, shoot me. Please.

Am I the only one who feels useless and like a piece of shit when not doing something? I started a new project after over a week of doing absolutely nothing and now I feel happier than while I was being an organic paperweight.

Client wants to see his project so he can provide its content.

The product where this is based upon should be a monthly edition of grouped articles.

I've yet to see content for their concept or even legal text that makes sense.

Same person has no idea of the full concept of what he's asking, imho ending up in a Ponzi (which I've switched to a somewhat more logical system, which just might work, but just isn't a get rich quick scheme anymore as he likes to portray it).

Should I just put on a blank page and be done with it, either way?
- Either he gets it, that he needs to fill up the website's content himself
- or he's mad, that I didn't finish the job (while he's the one needing to provide at this point)

I wish i can just stop shitting. I shit so much that im literally a shitbeast. Reminds me of that one NFT project that popped out in mid 2022 with artwork of shit. You could buy shit jpegs and sell them. Golden shit is more expensive than brown shit. You could even upgrade your shit to become a diarrhea and sell that jpg. Alright im done with shitting time to wipe and post this rant as my diary

Crawling around in a legacy project. Need to rewrite 500 lines of SCSS, to regular CSS. Fuck it. Runs compiler, beautifier and copy paste that shit.

Decided to look at Firebase tonight, to see what's what. Before accessing the demo project, it promoted me to review the Terms of Service. I obliged.

...holy fucking shit, dude.

I forgot to create a branch and pushed directly to master...

Thankfully nobody reviews my code in this project or gives a shit anyways

So thought I would install Visual Studio 2017 for Mac and ho boy what a load of shit that is!

They say it's designed to be macOS styled yet it is literally the same visual style and element location to mono-develop for linux and mac, piss poor effort when even creating new project uses the same form layout.

Vocabulary for the day.

Screed - An abusive rant is called a Screed.

Usage - I'mma screed the shit outta dem pathetic species of blood sucking parasites AKA dickhead project managers who do dem (developerEstimatedTime/2) quick maths.

Fuck you

!rant!
I have replaced a dev in a company where the project already started and it is shit! The project is directed already to fail, no requirements documentation, no proper communications, and a stubborn dev teammate.

aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!

All the documents that we have right now is I am the one who created it. Like c'mmon! this project is already going for 1 year and I recently just joined the team!

After working day and night, grinding it to the shit, sleepless night, got another victory in my project.

I have almost tamed Rust lang to make it dance to my will

xD

Just found out that I have been reassigned to maintain an in house shitty project... It's full of crap code, no documentation, has lot of duct tapes to keep the project together and 20+ open bugs and issues...

I am so happy with my current project. But my manager is always pissed off at me for no apparent reason.

Fuck this shit... Any excuse or advice to dodge this BS project? Can't quit job, I am getting payed alot here.

Spent 2 days on a client's site to do an install of our equipment on a huge project. Pretty rare for our company to install themselves.

And holy shit, I'm so glad this isn't my everyday work

I am fucking dumb, why I've created an empty project to implement the new feature instead of making a fucking local branch. Now I need to merge this shit manually. fuck fuck fuck

Starting mixing PowerShell into a C# project... Shit just got real....

When the project is about to complete but you start losing the shit!

Cocoapods - an easy way TO SHIT ALL OVER YOUR MAC AND PROJECTS. Jut add frameworks to project? No way, lets put hundreds of shit, projects in projects, run all over the place some piece of shit scripts written by who knows who and for what reason, it's always fun when one little misstep can ruin all your plans for weekend.

My coworker : "yeah, as soon as someone is mentioning internal project names base on Greek mythology, you know shit is about to be blown out of proportion"

STOP FUCKING ADDING MORE STUFF TO THE FREAKING TICKET, the stuff you're asking for me to do doesn't have anything to do with this TICKET, WHY DO YOU INSIST ON DOING THIS FUCKING SHIT!?

TL:DR Client asks for this: -------
Finishes the project with this: --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Fuck AngularJS' scope fuckery. Yes it's legacy shit in an old project.
A minor change fucked up the model scope shitfuck thus leading to improper input model fuckvalues.
Go rot in pieces and perish.

Fuck!! I can't sleep because two of my coworkers took vacation and my boss told me this afternoon that he want me to do their tasks AND create a hole new project for the public administration. That's a lot of work!!

I have two weeks but, holy shit!!

The scope for this project was absolute horse shit, and now they are mad because the end product is still horse shit...

I want to feel guilty for the outcome, but I just can't. This is something they should have had foresight for. Validation and testing is absolutely atrocious here. No official real scenario testing, and now the whole thing has been blown wide open for all the shit it can't do.

Programming

Easier today than in 2009?
We're got all these tools and shit.. frameworks...

Yeah, which just makes you over ambitious, as the weekend project turns into 6 months despite itself.

I say no.

Fucking Django is the only project thaat claims to be for perfectionist but actually is a steaming pile of spaghetti code, data transfer objects, configuration objects and useless wrappers and shit. I mean this shits made by adults with computer science degrees how the fuck can they get that shit so wrong?

Develop all my lambda function, create endpoint for what i need, set up CORS to * time of development... And chrome fuck me with CORS preflight ERROR. What the actual fuck with this shit security easily bypassable...

Me: its enough for today. Change project folder 😐

FUCK THAT FUCKING ECLIPSE DEPENDENCY INJECTION FUCKUP SHIT.

How are you supposed to work with @Preference when it is not in the FUCKING TARGET PLATFORM, and adding it BREAKS THE WHOLE FUCKING PROJECT.

Which update site does it provide anyways for Eclipse Neon!?

Every damn tutorial out there does not talk about that shit or is outdated as fuck!!

AAHHHRRGH! *injects a keyboard as dependency into the FUCKING 💻*

when you're working on a project you hate, and start naming global variables in profanity ($dick , $shit , $yourMother, etc...) to make it more enjoyable

Is it just me or do software developers get the shit end of the stick in absolutely every project?

Gonna update my discord bot! But I'm gonna rewrite it all in JavaScript because FUCK Discord.py honestly a horrible community and shit docs it just didnt feel right at all the only reason i stuck with it because it was my senior project and my first big project

After lunch today I had review meeting with the stakeholders on project where the content was late plus a lot more than previously stated requiring changes to the angular app. So I ate a shit ton of garlic from the salad bar as we sat and my desk and reviewed it.

Thursday
Project Manager: Reckon we can get a demo/status update tomorrow?

Friday:
*status update*
Project Manager: Alright great

Monday 1pm:
*basically a shit tonne of noise all morning, can't get anything done*
Project Manager: Reckon we can get a status update right now?
*status update*
Project Manager: Alright, reckon you can demo it on Friday?
Me: Uh...
Project Manager: Ok, let's aim for a demo anyway.
Research Lead: Great!

Org Lead: How is everything going?
Me: I don't like how Project Manager micromanages.
Org Lead: Ahhh, yes, but it was me that asked him to manage like this

Me internally:
What's 65 - 28? Oh yeh, 37 more years of this. Is there a way I can kill myself painlessly?

#Story time.
Been working on a project for 2 months with Colleague "Jim" doing the code reviews. Project is finished in a stable form and can be extended if needed. Then my other colleague/boss "Mo" decided that we need to do a refactor. Fast forward a bit and the conclusion is "Mo" and "Jim" are going to discuss every step with me. And we started a new project that should do the same as the project I just finished

Here some facts:
Every day a meeting/ code review / discussion.
Decisions they make I do not agree with.
I need to redo my work multiple times.

Now this does make me look like a toddler that needs supervision which is not the case.
They want something future proof and something that fits his new coding standard "Mo". and certain things I do agree with and is clearly the better architecture. however somethings are just stupid, time wasting, making it worse. I'm getting so frustrated by the fact that billion dollar companies have clear coding standards that work. and are correct. and this company decided to do their own thing of stupid rules!

- shorten variables
- Keep lines under 90char
- put multiple things in 1 file
- Keep function names short
and many more of removing stuff and let you guess stuff..

I just... *sigh* get so tired of this shit.

*names are randomly chosen

Whoever the fuck at my university thought that a distributed systems project using Java Web services was a good idea? The server we're supposed to use (Glassfish) is so out-of-date, half the time spent on this project is just spent fixing fucking broken dependencies and otherwise getting it to play nice. Please just tell me this shit isn't used in industry outside of legacy applications.

Getting real tired of your shit, JavaScript. I sincerely love and hate the language, its so flexible at the same time that flexibility will give you nightmares, I swear to god I'll never recommend Node.js for any big projects, right now the same flexibility is killing our project.

Oh lord, have mercy.

Ok, so we know you've not had any work to do for a week. Here's what we'll do - pick up this task to copy & paste shit code from one project to another. Don't worry yourself with what it does.

FMDL

Starts search and replace.
Trys to replace a type in the whole Project.

Syntax Check: lol no, apparently everything is broken now, good job

(literally my whole project was marked red)
Reverts changes
(project still marked red)

Syntax Check: lol what? Your code already looked like shit before, won't let you compile this.

It was a bug which breaks the syntax check after big replace requests. Had to start a new project and copy my code step for step, so it didn't break again. However I've forgotten to replace the type before I copy...

Another story regarding this shit:
Renames Variable
IDE: oh, let me help you by replacing all old var names with the new one
Agrees
IDE: oh shoot, didn't know it could break things
Wants to revert
IDE: did you think I would go through this mess again?! Do it yourself!

Do you guys also experience this: When you have an explosive diarreah~ but the project is due tomorrow so you have no time to shit and end up taping your asshole and it turns into normal poop. FeelsGoodMan

If you could remember that I'm not your staff anymore and stop assigning me to projects. That'd be fucking swell.

I'm meant to be infrastructure now so fuck off. Oh a devs leaving let's hand the project to the infrastructure guy who's fucking leaving also!!

Fucking genius. I'm so close to just to saying fucking swivel and walking out. Fuck the notice period.

Reading Magic of Stella kind of makes me want to make a visual novel game. Anyone know an artist, a musician, and a project manager? Possibly a writer if I can't write the damn thing myself, which is likely considering my ADD when it comes to writing and holy shit where are my shoes?

I did some general searches in the actual project. The names of 22 variables and attributes I created contain the word 'shit', and 5 contain 'fuck'.

I’ve been in a rut. I’ve just been learning shit back to back and I haven’t tried working on a project since my last one and it feels fucking awful. Since the last project was a CLI application I’m gonna re write it as a GUI with WPF and use the project to teach me more about WPF. But after this I’m honestly fucking lost.

I have to get a few more projects done after this. so I can get ready to apply to (my first) development position.

Struggling with my graduation project.
Me: "fuckfuckfuck whyy this shit won't work!"
Dude: "would you like to solve every problem with just one click?"
Me: "yes please!!"
Dude: "shoot yourself in the head :D"

Well... it's just one click... and everything will be fine... mmmh yeah.

The downside of writing reusable, abstracted, DRY code for multiple applications to use: you have to remember to test changes in all the contexts... my org has to hire contractors project by project as we dont have the budget to have more devs than just 1 (me) on permanently. the contractors tho often don't know about all the places our code gets used. And sometimes I even forget - last week in the rush to finish some project, we forgot to think about how a library change made for benefit of a new project a few weeks ago might effect an older (in production) project. Until shit started breaking. Annoying. very annoying. luckily i fixed it (rolled back) before the weekend, but thursday and friday were quite stressful... now tomorrow, a bunch of sleuthing time to figure out exactly what recent change caused it... argh....

I give up! Been trying to solve this shit for a week and still failed:

Using Android Data Binding, two-way binding and when I compile I receive this error:

Unknown class: java.lang.String

It was working without issues before upgrading Android Studio.

Anyone has a clue how to solve this shit?

By the way I'm using Kotlin, on Java it doesn't produce errors, and I'm not going to convert my project to Java ...