Join devRant
Do all the things like
++ or -- rants, post your own rants, comment on others' rants and build your customized dev avatar
Sign Up
Pipeless API
From the creators of devRant, Pipeless lets you power real-time personalized recommendations and activity feeds using a simple API
Learn More
Search - "stupid shit i do"
-
Friend: Man you're a programmer why aren't you a billionaire already like the others??
Me: It's not that easy believe me.
Friend: I have a great idea for an app something like facebook...can be that hard?
Me: :/
Friend: you could do that instead of your no pay opensource shit...
Me: FUCK YOU AND YOUR STUPID BULLLLLSHIT GO FUCKING DIE YOU PIECE OF SHIT !!!! YOU HAVE NO FUCKING CLUE ..STUPID SON OF A BITCH.32 -
I'm really down.
I spent 10 years building on an application worth 800K$ revenue per year.
I tried to build a technical team. All left, because of fights with stupid account managers, CEO, business managers.
I was left alone for almost one year alone, working like 60-70 hours per week to keep the things going and adapt to more customers.
And looking for potential partners to outsource things.
Now out of the blue, 3 weeks before my summer holiday, investors introduce me to a "partner" that will rent to us a "developer" for 2 months. from tomorrow.
What the fuck I'm gonna do with him in 2 weeks I don't know.
Actually I understand that this "partner" will take over the whole project.
They used the word "to help me", but actually during the meeting they said to fix things that are not working, and to develop new features because the project is blocked.
Of course there are bugs, I have no developers with me and hundred of features and integrations to maintain. And of course everything is blocked because I have to think hard about priorities.
I feel humiliated in the worst way.
I don't know what will be my future position.
I wasted time contacting potential partners and the answer was always "there are no money".
The business strategist, entered one year ago and said "no more IT investment".
Basically as cofounder and cto (of myself), they will not fire me, if I stay silent. If I accept to be a puppet. And eat, eat eat a lot of shit. I'll grow fat from the shit I'll eat.
I feel I've lost all my hard work, and I'm alone.40 -
Linux sucks.
Now now, chill. I'm using it as my main OS for a few years now. I know what I'm talking and this title is a bit click-baity, but this just has to go out there:
1. It's usable as a Windows replacement just fine - FALSE. XFCE4 is years old and buggy as hell especially on multi-monitor set-up, Gnome3 gets stuck more often than my Windows 98 machine used to, KDE is like a rich kid on meth. Plug in Bluetooth headphones? Well no, sorry, you have to research that online, since you'll probably need to install some packages for it to work. Did I say "work"? Well no, because after more research you realize that Debian on Gnome3 on gdm3 launches pulseaudio on its own, so you have 2 instances of pulseaudio, and one of them is stealing your headphones sometimes and you either have no sound or shitty sound. How do I know that you ask? The same way I know everything else - every time you try to do something new on any Linux, it involves a ton of research. Exciting research, don't get me wrong, but at this point it looks more like a toy than a reliable desktop computer operating system.
2. And why am I using pulseaudio? Why not alsa? years ago people were discussing on forums that pulseaudio is old and dead, yet here we are with new LTS release of Ubuntu still shining with Pulseaudio. How about several different service management systems being deprecated by new ones, each having different configurations and calling methods? Apparently systemd is old and lame now. It's a mix of 10 year old software that works badly, with a 5 year old replacement that works worse, somehow trying to live under the same roof. Does it work? Ask my headphones who sound like a fucking dial-up modem.
3. Let's talk about displays, shall we? xorg is old and deprecated, right? We got Wayland that's mostly stable. Don't know what that is? That's just basic knowledge for Linux. And when you try to install network-manager, it also tries to install Mir toolkits. Because why the fuck not install 3 display managers when you want a network manager, of which one is old and dying, one is young and stupid, and another is an infant that died of cancer?
4. Want to integrate with Google Drive? Yeah, there's a tool that mounts the drive as a local directory. Yeah only for Ubuntu. Want it on Debian? You need to compile it. Oh wait, it's on Ocaml, because fuck mainstream languages, we're hipsters. How do you compile Ocaml? Well you need to have Ocaml on your system, dummy. How do you do that? Well you need to compile Ocaml. Ok, how do I do that? Well, git clone, download and install some dependencies, configure, make... oh sorry, you're using libssl1.0.2g when you need libssl1.0.1f, nope, sorry, won't work. Want to install libssl1.0.1f? Why? You already have the "g", stupid! Want to remove libssl1.0.2g? Bye-bye literally everything that you have on your PC. But at least you got the "f". Does it work now? Well no, because you need libssl1.0.2g for another dependency to work.
And all I ever wanted was to get a fucking document from google drive (not nudes, I promise).
5. Want to watch a movie? Let me tear that screen in half and make the bottom half late by a couple of frames, because who needs vertical sync, right? Oh you do? Well install the native drivers maybe. Oh you have? Welcome to eternal Boot to Recovery mode, motherfucka!
---------------------------------
Yeah, most of the times things work just fine. But the reason I know what those things are and how they work is not curiosity. The reason that I know the inner workings of Linux much better than the inner workings of Windows, is because in those few years that I've been using it full time, it has caused me 10 times more headache than I have ever experienced with other systems. And it's not the usual annoyances like "OMG it rebooted when I didn't ask it to", but more like "Oh, it won't work and I need 2 days to find out why" kind of stuff, because even if you experience the same thing again, it's always caused by some new shit and the old solution won't work any more.
I still love it, and will continue to use it. I don't know why really. Maybe because I'm not afraid of fucking it up any more? Maybe because I can do what I want in it and recovering will be easier than on Windows?
It's a toy for me, after all these years. And I also use it for professional reasons.
But whenever someone presents it as a better alternative to Windows, I just want to puke.51 -
At the airport.
Security: Please put all your electronics in the bin, including your watch.
Me: No problem
<goes through scanner>
Me: there was an Apple Watch in here and now it is gone.
Security: Oh, you lost your Apple Watch?
Me: No! I put my Apple Watch in the bin like you instructed and YOU lost my Apple Watch.
Security: It must be in the spinners.
Me: So my $500 Watch is in the spinners being run over by bins?
Security: you have to put the small things on the bottom.
Me: It was on the bottom and I did as you asked, this is entirely on you. Do not try to shift the blame to me again please.
Security: As I said...
Me: As I said, Do not try to shift the blame to me again. This is entirely your responsibility once you separate me from my electronics so you can perform security theatre. Have a nice day.
—————
Fuck this god damn security theatre. Fuck the dumbasses they hire. Fuck your country. Fuck your god damn feeling of insecurity. Fuck Your ineffective security theatre.
Sick my fucking dick until you choke and gag you worthless pieces of shit. Homeless people the street provide more security than you incompetent, under-educated assholes. Fuck you
And yes, I have 2 fucking laptops. I have a real fucking job where I provide actual value and for that I need a work laptop. I don’t come to work in a stupid looking outfit with a chip on my shoulder looking to inconvenience people. I come to work to provide real value to someone.
Fuck you and your worthless bullshit39 -
Anyone know this bitch hacker 127.0.0.1 story?
WORST HACKERS OF ALL TIME
CONTINUED IN THE COMMENTS BECUASE IT IS SO LONG...
TLdr bitch hacker hacks himself by localhost
bitchchecker (~java@euirc-a97f9137.dip.t-dialin.net) Quit (Ping timeout#)
bitchchecker (~java@euirc-61a2169c.dip.t-dialin.net) has joined #stopHipHop
<bitchchecker> why do you kick me
<bitchchecker> can’t you discus normally
<bitchchecker> answer!
<Elch> we didn’t kick you
<Elch> you had a ping timeout: * bitchchecker (~java@euirc-a97f9137.dip.t-dialin.net) Quit (Ping timeout#)
<bitchchecker> what ping man
<bitchchecker> the timing of my pc is right
<bitchchecker> i even have dst
<bitchchecker> you banned me
<bitchchecker> amit it you son of a bitch
<HopperHunter|afk> LOL
<HopperHunter|afk> shit you’re stupid, DST^^
<bitchchecker> shut your mouth WE HAVE DST!
<bitchchecker> for two weaks already
<bitchchecker> when you start your pc there is a message from windows that DST is applied.
<Elch> You’re a real computer expert
<bitchchecker> shut up i hack you
<Elch> ok, i’m quiet, hope you don’t show us how good a hacker you are
<bitchchecker> tell me your network number man then you’re dead
<Elch> Eh, it’s 129.0.0.1
<Elch> or maybe 127.0.0.1
<Elch> yes exactly that’s it: 127.0.0.1 I’m waiting for you great attack
<bitchchecker> in five minutes your hard drive is deleted
<Elch> Now I’m frightened
<bitchchecker> shut up you’ll be gone
<bitchchecker> i have a program where i enter your ip and you’re dead
<bitchchecker> say goodbye
<Elch> to whom?
<bitchchecker> to you man
<bitchchecker> buy buy
<Elch> I’m shivering thinking about such great Hack0rs like you
bitchchecker (~java@euirc-61a2169c.dip.t-dialin.net) Quit (Ping timeout#)
bitchchecker (~java@euirc-b5cd558e.dip.t-dialin.net) has joined #stopHipHop
<bitchchecker> dude be happy my pc crashed otherwise you’d be gone
<Metanot> lol
<Elch> bitchchecker: Then try hacking me again… I still have the same IP: 127.0.0.1
<bitchchecker> you’re so stupid man
<bitchchecker> say buy buy
<Metanot> ah, [Please control your cussing] off
<bitchchecker> buy buy elch
bitchchecker (~java@euirc-b5cd558e.dip.t-dialin.net) Quit (Ping timeout#)
bitchchecker (~java@euirc-9ff3c180.dip.t-dialin.net) has joined #stopHipHop
<bitchchecker> elch you son of a bitch
<Metanot> bitchchecker how old are you?
<Elch> What’s up bitchchecker?
<bitchchecker> you have a frie wal
<bitchchecker> fire wall
<Elch> maybe, i don’t know
<bitchchecker> i’m 26
<Metanot> such behaviour with 26?
<Elch> how did you find out that I have a firewall?
<Metanot> tststs this is not very nice missy
<bitchchecker> because your gay fire wall directed my turn off signal back to me
<bitchchecker> be a man turn that shit off
<Elch> cool, didn’t know this was possible.
<bitchchecker> thn my virus destroys your pc man
<Metanot> are you hacking yourselves?
<Elch> yes bitchchecker is trying to hack me
<Metanot> he bitchchecker if you’re a hacker you have to get around a firewall even i can do that
<bitchchecker> yes man i hack the elch but the sucker has a fire wall the
<Metanot> what firewall do you have?
<bitchchecker> like a girl
<Metanot> firewall is normal a normal hacker has to be able to get past it…you girl
<He> Bitch give yourself a jackson and chill you’re letting them provoce you and give those little girls new material all the time
<bitchchecker> turn the firewall off then i send you a virus [Please control your cussing]er
<Elch> Noo
<Metanot> he bitchchecker why turn it off, you should turn it off
<bitchchecker> you’re afraid
<bitchchecker> i don’t wanna hack like this if he hides like a girl behind a fire wall
<bitchchecker> elch turn off your shit wall!
<Metanot> i wanted to say something about this, do you know the definition of hacking??? if he turns of the firewall that’s an invitation and that has nothing to do with hacking
<bitchchecker> shut up
<Metanot> lol
<bitchchecker> my grandma surfs with fire wall
<bitchchecker> and you suckers think you’re cool and don’t dare going into the internet without a fire wall
<Elch> bitchchecker, a collegue showed me how to turn the firewall off. Now you can try again
<Metanot> bitchhacker can’t hack
<Black<TdV>> nice play on words
<bitchchecker> wort man
<Elch> bitchchecker: I’m still waiting for your attack!
<Metanot> how many times again he is no hacker
<bitchchecker> man do you want a virus
<bitchchecker> tell me your ip and it deletes your hard drive
<Metanot> lol ne give it up i’m a hacker myself and i know how hackers behave and i can tell you 100.00% you’re no hacker..30 -
I just feel that I have to get this of my chest, because this have really me and my family really negative.
It have destroyed my will to be happy, sort of.
Well, my father have some kind of control behaviour. My whole life he has been angry on stuff that does not really matter
and I have always been the one that get all the shit - because I am the oldest. I was never allowed (maybee 3-4 times between age 8-15) to have any friends
over or stay with friends over night or after school. Because they "where bad and I would become like them".
I am happy that I meet my wife 6 years ago and moved away from home when I was 20, I kinda fled the situation from home to start my own life.
My father has always hated when boy/men had long hair and alot of beard - but that is something I always wanted to have. So when I moved from home
I start to let everything grow.
Two years ago, things got really fucked up when I did not shave all my beard of and cut down my hair because my mom had birthday. I did it the week after
because my brother graduated from school and we where going to visit, we did not want a repeat the situation from a couple of weeks before. After that I got
another job as a Linux sysadmin and started to grow the hair and beard again.
Last monday, my dad called and said that I am not welcome to visit them anymore. I am a "bad example" for my sibling
and he also said "you brother and sister does not feel so good (my sister fainted a couple of days before, which I did not know) so I have no time to care about you and your family"
I was stunned, I really wish that this was a joke but it is'nt.
I have always been bashed because of the choices I make in my life and for my own family (wife, and two kids + one more kid any day now)
When I choose to work with something that I love, they said that I am stupid because they basically think "that the PC is full of SATAN".
When they realized that I make more money than my parents combined they went silent.
I just wanted to write this shit of my chest, it is really fucked up and I am starting to loose the ability to have feelings - if you know what I mean.
Thank you devrant, for being one of the fun things I do, when I read all the rage, fucked up stories, hate, and so on. I do not feel alone :)
PS: I promise you, that you guys/gals will be the first one to know when my new kiddo arrives20 -
Found this gem on spiceworks.
Link:-
https://community.spiceworks.com/to...
Below transcript was sent to poster by someone
My workplace and a twenty three year-old phone app developer:
Them (on phone): Can you send me a clicker carpet with the laptop?
Me: ...
Me: a what now?
Them: Clicker. Carpet.
Me: A ... clicker carpet.
Them: Yes
Me: What the. what is a clicker carpet?
Them: You know the clicker. The thing that moves the arrow on the
screen
Me: ...
Me: A mouse?
Them: No, the clicker. (Sends me an image of a mouse) This.
Me: That's called a mouse.
Them: I need a carpet for one of those.
Me:. A mouse pad
Them: The clicker carpet.
Me: It's a fffff. it's called a mouse pad. The clicker is a mouse. The
thing under it is a pad. MOUSE. PAD
Them: You old people and your made-up technical names.
Me: No, it's always been mouse and mouse pad.
Them: I have text messages with friends that says otherwise.
Me: The Desktop team is sending you a MOUSE PAD with the laptop.
Them: My friends and I are on the cusp of eliminating the PC with the
cellphone, by the ways. So I may only use the laptop for like year or so.
Me (under my breath): You and your friends are idiots.
Them: What?
Me: What? Are we done?
Them: Yes what?
Me: *hangs up*
Everyone was looking at me by the end of the call. I got louder the longer
I talked to this guy. When I told them about phones replace PCs, our main
dev was like, "Do they expect hours programming shit on the cellphone?
This kid is stupid."
Thanks for validating my feelings.7 -
I have to let it out. It's been brewing for years now.
Why does MySQL still exist?
Really, WHY?!
It was lousy as hell 8 years ago, and since then it hasn't changed one bit. Why do people use it?
First off, it doesn't conform to standards, allowing you to aggregate without explicitly grouping, in which case you get god knows what type of shit in there, and then everybody asks why the numbers are so weird.
Second... it's $(CURRENT_YEAR) for fucks sake! This is the time of large data sets and complex requirements from those data sets. Just an hour through SO will show you dozens of poor people trying to do with MySQL what MySQL just can't do because it's stupid.
Recursion? 4 lines in any other large RDBMS, and tough luck in MySQL. So what next? Are you supposed to use Lemograph alongside MySQL just because you don't know that PostgreSQL is free and super fast?
Window functions to mix rows and do neat stuff? Naaah, who the hell needs that, right? Who needs to find the products ordered by the customer with the biggest order anyway? Oh you need that actually? Well you should write 3-4 queries, nest them in an incredibly fucked up way, summon a demon and feed it the first menstrual blood of your virgin daughter.
There used to be some excuses in the past "but but but, shared hosting only has MySQL". Which was wrong by the way. This was true only for big hosting names, and for people who didn't bother searching for alternatives. And now it's even better, since VPS and PaaS solutions are now available at prices lower than shared hosting, which give you better speed, performance and stability than shared hosting ever did.
"But but but Wordpress uses MySQL" - well then kill it! There are other platforms out there, that aren't just outrageously horrible on the inside and outside. Wordpress is crap, and work on it pays crap. Learn Laravel, Symfony, Zend, or even Drupal. You'll be able to create much more value than those shitty Wordpress sites that nobody ever visits or pay money on.
"But but but my client wants some static pages presented beside their online shop" - so why use Wordpress then? Static pages are static pages. Whip up a basic MVC set-up in literally any framework out there, avoid MySQL, include a basic ACL package for that framework, create a controller where you add a CKEditor to edit page content, and stick a nice template from themeforest for that page and be done with that shit! Save the mock-up for later use if you do that stuff often. Or if you're lazy to even do that, then take up Drupal.
But sure, this is going a bit over the scope. I actually don't care where you insert content for your few pages. It can be a JSON file for all I care. But if I catch you doing an e-commerce solution, or anything else than just text storage, on MySQL, I'll literally start re-assessing your ability to think rationally.11 -
Doot doot.
My day: Eight lines of refactoring around a 10-character fix for a minor production issue. Some tests. Lots of bloody phone calls and conference calls filled with me laughing and getting talked over. Why? Read on.
My boss's day: Trying very very hard to pin random shit on me (and failing because I'm awesome and fuck him). Six hours of drama and freaking out and chewing and yelling that the whole system is broken because of that minor issue. No reading, lots of misunderstanding, lots of panic. Three-way called me specifically to bitch out another coworker in front of me. (Coworker wasn't really in the wrong.) Called a contractor to his house for testing. Finally learned that everything works perfectly in QA (duh, I fixed it hours ago). Desperately waited for me to push to prod. Didn't care enough to do production tests afterwards.
My day afterwards: hey, this Cloudinary transform feature sounds fun! Oh look, I'm done already. Boo. Ask boss for update. Tests still aren't finished. Okay, whatever. Time for bed.
what a joke.
Oh, I talked to the accountant after all of this bullshit happened. Apparently everyone that has quit in the last six years has done so specifically because of the boss. Every. single. person.
I told him it was going to happen again.
I also told him the boss is a druggie with a taste for psychedelics. (It came up in conversation. Absolutely true, too.) It's hilarious because the company lawyer is the accountant's brother.
So stupid.18 -
Excuse the profuse amount of profanity below.
Fuck this fucking fucked up motherfucker of a fucking director. Money does not make you a fucking decent person, and you come in here and tell me that you pay my fucking measly salary so I must be fucking grateful.
Starts off with a boardroom meeting this morning. Wireless connection on my laptop takes two minutes to connect, I get told that I am wasting company time and that the salary of everyone in the meeting is quite a lot ("with me being the highest"- cuntface director) so stop wasting time. Fuck you man, it's a fucking wireless connection. I am building your motherfucking company applications and doing web design and for what, so I can earn fuckall and be told that I am fucking wasting time. I am presenting your fucking site you wanted, so give me a fucking minute extra to start up the fucking wireless connection.
The fucking mails are taking long to send, great, let's come down and fucking scream at the dev who regrettably said he would try and assist IT (by calling the provider). I literally just got told that I am the following. 1) Fucking stupid 2) He is going to close the dept down because I apparently fuck up (yet again cuntface, your fucking mailserver is NOT MY FUCKING PROBLEM) 3) He is going to contact an external company to come and check my work. 4) I am fucking useless. 5) I telling him lies (yeah fuckface, I worked as a sys admin, I know what a motherfucking DNS server is and what it does. you don't - so don't fucking tell me that I am lying when I tell you there is a DNS fucking issue, because you don't know what the fuck you are talking about - to top that off motherfucker, I FUCKING BUILT YOUR FUCKING SERVER AND YOUR FUCKING NETWORK. I FUCKING KNOW HOW IT WORKS AND WHAT THE FUCK I AM TALKING ABOUT).
On top of that, I got pushed out of the way of my own PC, my code got some fucked up gibberish in it (because he was trying to minimise my editor and he typed some in it, and now I have to fucking roll-back. He told me I am wasting company time and he will take my shit away from me if I download something again. It is an open network. I downloaded JAVA and fucking updated Sublime. Jesus man. What the fucking fuck.
"why is your gmail open?!?!" because I was testing your emails from an external network. "DON'T FEED ME BULLSHIT" (even though the top mail states "test"). It's the whole fucking "my money determines my dick size" mentality.
That being said, I got told that I need to work overtime, without pay, to resolve IT's issue, even if I have to on the weekend.
That being said,my new Dell that I had just bought (my own) got thrown on the floor and he fucked out of my office. Stupid motherfucker. I fucking earn nothing but cannot leave. I will find another job, and when I do - you can go and fuck yourself and your fucking degrading opinions. I am not fucking stupid, so fuck you.Fuck your company and fuck you. Cunt.33 -
I hired a guy on upwork. His english is shit. But hes done the work correctly. Fast forward today he asked me "off topic question but do u have any female friend who can accompany me to fuck?"
WTF IS THIS SHIT
That is not professional AT ALL. I dont give a shit about the fact he cant get no bitches so hes begging me as if im some kind of a pimp. On upwork?? Gtfo.
Now i understand why companies want to hire only people with college DEGREES because they have went through the process of conforming and dont ask stupid shit questions. Eliminates a lot of bullshit and Neanderthals like this guy
Ffs37 -
*goes to the local town hall to get my new ID*
A week ago:
Clerk: Sorry sir, our systems don't work anymore, we can't process your request!
Me: Epic. Is there any sysadmin in here that can fix this pronto?
C: No it's a centrally managed system. It's managed by the people in ${another town}.
M (thinking): Well how about you fucking call them then, fucking user. Screaming blood and fire when nothing is wrong server-side but doing nothing when there is. Fucking amazing, useless piece of shit.
One week later, i.e. today:
M: Hey, I'd like to renew my ID card. I've got this announcement document here and my current ID card.
C: Oh no I don't need the announcement document. I need your PIN and PUK code letter.
M (thinking): What the fuck do you need that for.. isn't that shit supposed to be my private information..?
*gives PIN and PUK part of the letter*
C: Alright, to register your new ID card, please enter your PUK and then your PIN in this card reader here twice.
M: Sure, but I'd like to change both afterwards. After all they're written on this piece of paper and I'm not sure that just destroying that will be enough.
C: Sure sure you can change them. Please authenticate with the codes written on the paper.
*Authenticates*
C: So you'd like to change your codes, right?
M: Yeah but I'd like to change it at home. You know, because I can't know for sure that this PC here is secure, the card reader has a wired connection to your PC (making it vulnerable to keyloggers) and so on.
C: Impossible. You can't change your PIN at home. (What about the PUK?!)
M: But I've done that several times with my Digipass for my previous passport.. it is possible and I've done it myself.
C: Tut tut, impossible. I know it's impossible and therefore it is.
M (thinking): Thanks for confirming that I really shouldn't enter my personal PIN on your fucking PC, incompetent bitch.
M: Alright, I'll just keep this PIN, try at home and if it's really impossible because the system changed to remove this functionality (which I highly doubt, that'd be really retarded), I'll come back later.
(Just to get rid of this old stupid woman's ignorance essentially.)
C: Sure sure...
Me: I'd also like to register as an organ donor. Where can I do that?
C: That'd be over there. *points to the other room in the town hall*
FUCKING THANK YOU LORDS OF THE WICKED RAVEN AND THE LIBERATED TUX, TO GET ME AWAY FROM THAT STUPID FUCKING BITCH!!!
.. anyway. I've got my new ID and I'm an official organ donor now 🙂6 -
No, I wont help you solve your stupid problem. If you are not able to read the wiki or the man pages - Arch linux is not for you.
You have only proven that you are stupid enough to listen to other people who likes to brag how good the are, but actually do not know shit.15 -
That's it. I fucking quit.
Over a month of unpaid work, developing your stupid course, only to get a high-quality outline rejected because "it's not what we wanted" again.
First outline, fuckers ask to do something with a Raspberry Pi and Yocto. Fine, but no Yocto as I don't know anything about it and the coworker doesn't even have a Raspberry Pi to flash the images on. Micromanagement guy (god I hate that word) agrees, fine no Yocto then. So no Yocto it is.
2 weeks later... Course outline is finished. Review stage.. rejected. Needs moar Yocto.
Fine... I'll include Yocto. Coworker was put off the course, I'm exclusively on it now. Time to do it well and get my feet wet with Yocto.
2 weeks later... Course outline is finished and looks pretty good. Review stage.. rejected. Needs less Raspberry Pi. Do it without the Raspberry Pi.
An embedded systems course whose core component is that fucking Raspberry Pi. Omit it they said. WHAT?!!
"Oh yeah but there's this other course that's selling like hot pockets, we can just redo that in videos. Make it more like that course."
You.. you can't be for real, can you? If students want to take that course... What makes you think that they wouldn't just pick.. *that damn course* then?
"But hey" micromanager said, "don't loose hope and confidence, I'm here🤪"
🤪. That describes your level of competence pretty well, you stinking piece of apeshit.
Go back to your micromanaging, at least you don't completely fucking suck at that.
2 times rejected because YOU fucking company's board can't describe your desires in a course properly. You know what, I think I'm starting to understand why web devs keep on complaining about indecisive clients now. Because you know company's board, you seem a lot like those clients from hell. Eat shit.
🖕17 -
"Do you like your job? I mean, all those collored lines in that funny font... sitting at the desk with this adorable rubber duck... Do you guys jus".....
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Me: "SHUT UP YOU STUPID ASSHOLE!!! I MADE 26 COMMITS DURING THIS FUCKING DAY, THE DAY THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE LAST WORKING DAY OF THIS SHITTY YEAR! I HAVE NOT SLEPT AS I SHOULD AT ALL CAUSE THIS FUCKING MIGRATION OF NEW YEAR'S UPDATE AND NOW... AHH NOW YOU STUPID FYCKING PSYCHO... NOW I HAVE TO CONTROLL MYSELF DURING NEXT DINNER WITH FRIENDS, HAVE NO MUCH ALCOHOL CAUSE DURING SUNDAY, EVEN ITS A FUCKING HOLIDAY AND EVEN IF I AM IN A LOOONNGG HANGOVER, I DO STILL NEED TO COMPLETE THIS FUCKING NEW YEAR MIGRATION YOU ASS PUNK! GO FUCK YOURSELF YOU LITLE USELESS TINY LITLE SHIT!!!"
And this is how I see my new years resolution: the time is priceles doing this questions to me...
Happy new year, fellazz! 💃🎆🎉2 -
Client comes to me after a year to publish an update to his app.
I accept, start looking for my release key.... Found it.
Fuuuuuuucccck what's the password? I can't remember
Googled what to do if forgot password of keystore: Nope can't do shit other than brute Force. You've to forget your app and publish as a new app. Nice.
I must have written it somewhere... I'm sure. Check my password manager: Nope.
Start brute forcing:
Default pass: android. Nope
Name of app? Nope
After 10 mins of brute forcing:
Why would I not store the password in my password manager? The only reason I can think is the password is too stupid to be stored.
Try "password". App signed successfully.
I'm ashamed of 1 year older me xD6 -
It seems like every other day I run into some post/tweet/article about people whining about having the imposter syndrome. It seems like no other profession (except maybe acting) is filled with people like this.
Well lemme answer that question for you lot.
YES YOU ARE A BLOODY IMPOSTER.
There. I said it. BUT.
Know that you're already a step up from those clowns that talk a lot but say nothing of substance.
You're better than the rockstar dev that "understands" the entire codebase because s/he is the freaking moron that created that convoluted nonsensical pile of shit in the first place.
You're better than that person who thinks knowing nothing is fine. It's just a job and a pay cheque.
The main question is, what the flying fuck are you going to do about being an imposter? Whine about it on twtr/fb/medium? HOW ABOUT YOU GO LEARN SOMETHING BEYOND FRAMEWORKS OR MAKING DUMB CRUD WEBSITES WITH COLOR CHANGING BUTTONS.
Computers are hard. Did you expect to spend 1 year studying random things and waltz into the field as a fucking expert? FUCK YOU. How about you let a "doctor" who taught himself medicine for 1 year do your open heart surgery?
Learn how a godamn computer actually works. Do you expect your doctors and surgeons to be ignorant of how the body works? If you aspire to be a professional WHY THE FUCK DO YOU STAY AT THE SURFACE.
Go learn about Compilers, complete projects with low level languages like C / Rust (protip: stay away from C++, Java doesn't count), read up on CPU architecture, to name a few topics.
Then, after learning how your computers work, you can start learning functional programming and appreciate the tradeoffs it makes. Or go learn AI/ML/DS. But preferably not before.
Basically, it's fine if you were never formally taught. Get yourself schooled, quit bitching, and be patient. It's ok to be stupid, but it's not ok to stay stupid forever.
/rant16 -
Root: Fleshes out missing data in some factories. Tests affected code and finds the change breaks some specs (but shouldn’t).
Root: Reaches out to spec author.
Root: Messages thundercunt (the ticket’s code reviewer) on slack about the specs and the reaching out. No response.
Root: Works on another ticket while blocked.
Root: Logs off.
Root: Talks with spec author chick in the morning. Decide to pair on specs later.
TC: Still no slack response.
Root: Gives update in standup. Mentions factories and broken specs. Mentions pairing with spec chick.
TC: Still no slack response.
Root: Pulled off tickets in favor of prod issue. Gets ignored by everyone else diagnosing prod issue. Investigates prod issue by herself. Discovers prod issue isn’t from bad code, but bad requirements — code works as requested. Communicates this with details. Gets ignored by people still diagnosing prod issue. Tries again. Gets ignored. Gives up. Works on non-blocked tickets instead.
TC: Still no slack response.
Hours later:
TC: Comments on PR telling me I broke specs (how did I not notice?), that I need to reach out to spec chick and work with her, and that I can’t resolve the ticket until it’s fixed and passes code review.
TC: Still no slack response. (21 hours later at this point)
TC: Logs off. Still no response (25 hours at this point)
———
Ignoring the prod issue for the moment…
I broke specs. No shit.
I need to talk with spec chick. No shit.
I can’t resolve the ticket. No shit!
Bitch, I told you all of this 21 fucking hours prior, and again 3 hours prior during standup. But no, I clearly “don’t communicate” and obviously have no bloody clue what I’m doing, either, so I need everything spelled out for me.
And no, I didn’t resolve the fucking ticket. Why the fuck would I if it still has pending changes? Do you even check? Ugh!
And what the fuck with that prod issue? I’m literally giving you the answer. fucking listen! Stupid cunts.
Why is it all of the women I work with are useless or freaking awful people? Don’t get me wrong, many of the men are, too, but I swear it’s every single one of the women. (Am I awful, too?)
Just. Ugh.
I can’t wait to leave this sewer of a company.
Oddly still a good day, though. Probably because I talked to recruiters and sent out my resume again.rant oh my root gets ignored. root swears oh my root talks in third person root solves a prod issue thundercunt root communicates root wants to leave root gets ignored15 -
I really, really hate it when someone has a problem/question, and I really dedicate my heart and soul to write a really good answer that even a stupid person would understand - with drawing, explanations and shit. And they answer is just:
"Thanks"
"Ok"
"I dont get it"
"Can you please do it"
"you spelled that wrong"9 -
* I send an APK so that my client can test*
My client: I can't install the application
Me: Did you download and install it from the email I sent you?
client: No I downloaded from the play store.
(In my mind: Why the fuck do you Download it from the play store? I fucking sent you an email to 3 of your fucking email addresses so that you can fucking test the fucking APK that I fucking fixed it for you! You fucking worthless peice of shit!)
But I reacted as: No no, you should download the apk from the email I sent. I've sent it to all your email addresses.
client: I can't find the APK In your email.
(In my mind: Wow! I just don't get it! How can you be so stupid? I'm just wondering how your company hired you as a 'director for X')
*I send him a Screenshot proving that the apk exists*
Turns out that this idiot doesn't know to use outlook for Android! He then logs in to his gmail and finds the apk.(Coz I had emailed it to his outlook and gmail accounts)
M just wondering, should I drop this guy? Or charge him 2x for this shit?7 -
GUI user: "How can you work from such a basic text interface like that terminal?"
Me: "How can you work with all those stupid buttons that more often than not can't do jack shit?"
Being a Powerline user, I do think that design matters a lot. But so does usability (I don't want my programs to take half a minute to load their bloated UI's) and the ability to use every feature that this or that piece of software has in its command line arguments but not necessarily as a GUI option.9 -
What kind of supercomputer you have to use to get these fucking websites to work smoothly????
I'm on a fucking gigabit connection, ryzen 7 7700x, 32GB ram, and a fucking nvme, all it takes is opening a fucking recipe site and I'm instantly transported back to the 80s. I swear if i see another 4k asset I'm gonna punch something.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO FUNCTION OVER FORM????
Oh do you want me to disable my addblocker??? How about: you make a site that works you fuck. No i will not fucking subscribe to your brain-dead newsletter why the fuck would I???
And since when are cookies needed for a fucking plaintext site you asshat??? Tracking??? I swear if you could you would generate metadata from my clipped fingernails if it meant you could stick "Big data" next to that zip-bomb you call a website.
I WOULD like to read your article, possibly even watch a couple of ads on my sidebar for you, but noooooo you had to have the stupid fucking google vinegrette or however the fuck they are calling the fucking thing now.
The age of the web sucks the happiness out of life, and despite having all of this processing power, I am jealous of my fathers RSS feeds.
I'm sorry web people, I know it's not your fault, I know designers and management don't give a shit how long a website takes to load. I just wanted to make a fucking omelette.15 -
Back in the day when I was a junior developer, I somehow got hired by this guy who asked me to code his entire platform from scratch. I was being paid a junior dev salary, being asked to do senior dev work, and unfortunately I needed the money, so I didn't want to turn the job down. So I did what any junior dev would do in the situation... I decided to experiment and ended up with an insanely inefficient codebase.
For some stupid reason I thought that a good DB model would be to pull one record from the DB at a time, and then just repeat the method in a loop as needed. Keep in mind I was a self-taught junior dev. The backend worked great during development, and after 3 months of developing we decided to add a lot of data in the DB for further testing, and... you guessed it... the platform slowed down like shit!
Moral of the story... u get what you pay for, so hire great talent and pay them well! And also that self-taught junior devs don't know that the f@*k they are doing sometimes.5 -
Just spent 3 hours trying to debug something that worked yesterday because SOMEONE thought he had a better idea of how to do it. Holy fucking shit. It worked perfectly and you started deleting my code because you didn't understand it. How about trusting that I know what I'm doing since idk I spent 2 weeks reading up on it to be able to write this. What pisses me off the most is knowing he only does this to my code because he doesn't trust me as I am a) younger than him and b) a woman.
STOP ALREADY. JUST FUCKING STOP. So fucking fed up with having my work scrapped in favor of yours because you are a fucking control freak and think I'm stupid.29 -
What I do when I sit down to work:
Get a cup of coffee or tea,
Sit down open up some music; rock if I'm feeling okay or slow jazz if I'm feeling anxious,
Open my text editor (Atom, I love it so much),
Open git desktop,
Look at what was my last commit,
Remember where I left off,
Look blankly at code for a few minutes,
Then I pull up phone and start writing stupid shit like this on devrant.11 -
I am about to fire this client.
I can't take any more of this abject fucking stupidity.
I can't take any more sentence fragment responses to detailed questions and thorough responses.
I can't take any more expectations that I deliver consistent metadata and hundreds of pages of documentation, yet no one else has to do the same
I can't take any more rules only applying to/hamstringing me and my team
I can't take any more fucking gross incompetence and grossly undereducated shitfucks that get to send ridiculous bills and have 0 accountability while playing developer
I can't take any more obviously nepotistic and racist hiring that walks back every step of progress we've made in the last 50 years
I can't take not being able to call a spade a spade and being the villain when there's obvious graft occuring at every level
I can't take these old fucks padding their retirements while rendering everyone else contractors and cutting off opportunity for future generations
I can't take how absurdly, blisteringly stupid the business people are, or the fact that one average project managers with a recent PMI cert somehow bills what I do
I'm 100% going to drop dime on these fucks to every regulatory body they are beholden to, their investors, their corporate owners and USCIS, since I've already doxxed the shit out of all of my coworkers that don't remotely qualify for the positions they occupy.5 -
GOD FUCKIN DAMMIT
I WILL FUCKIN KICK YOU ON YOUR FUCKING THROAT.
Programming Languages and Linux groups in facebook are a fuckin pain to watch.
Some people make groups so all can benefit and help each other, talk about mutual interests, BUT NO SOME FUCKERS WILL SPAM SHIT AND MAKE YOU WANNA SMACK THEIR FUCKIN HEAD.
THERE IS A FUCKIN FAQ SECTION THAT ANSWERS ALL THE FUCKIN NEWBIE QUESTIONS. WHY THE FUCKIN HELL YOU SPAM IF YOU HAVE NO FUCKIN CLUE WHAT THE HELL YOU ARE DOING?
You come to a python group and ask if it's possible to get context from a site. I'M NOT MENTIONING THE FUCKIN FACT THAT THIS IS A SIMPLY FUCKIN QUERY TO A SEARCH ENGINE ALSO IT'S MENTIONED IN THE FUCKIN FAQ. Let's move on. We tell you yes, there is BeautifulSoup for that. After 5 fuckin mins YOU COME AND MAKE A NEW POST THAT SHOWS YOU CANT FUCKIN ITERATE A GODDAMN FUCKIN LIST. I'm not pro either, i don't forbid you to learn, BUT FUCKIN LEARN THE BASICS THAT ARE PROVIDED TO YOU FROM GREAT FUCKIN RESOURCES BEFORE TRYING TO ATTEMPT SOMETHING MORE COMPLICATED. AND IF YOU NEED HELP PROVIDE CODE THAT WE CAN USE. NOT A FUCKIN PHOTOGRAPH FROM YOUR MOBILE
Let's go on the Linux groups.
SINCE YOU FUCKIN JOIN A LINUX GROUP YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO KNOW WHAT THE FUCK IS LINUX. IT'S A FUCKIN OPERATING SYSTEM RIGHT?
Then you spam shit like, UBUNTU OR MINT 5 MINUTES AFTER SOMEONE ELSE MADE THE SAME VERY QUESTION 30 MINS AGO. WHICH WAS ANSWERED AGAIN YESTERDAY.
"What are the benefits of Linux". NONE YOU TWAT, IF YOU NEED ME TO TELL YOU THE BENEFITS OF THE SYSTEM THAT YOU USE THEN WHY THE HELL YOU BOTHER.
Next.
You say you have problems setting up XAMPP. We tell you that since you are on linux better use LAMP. You ignore us and spam your fuckin problem with XAMPP. IM GONNA FIND YOU AND IM GONNA MAKE YOU CHEW MY FUCKIN SHOES YOU PIECE OF SHIT.
I'm not even mentioning the kali wannabe hackers.
Conclusion:
DO A FUCKIN SMALL RESEARCH BEFORE SPAMMING THE SHIT OUT OF STUPID FUCKIN QUESTIONS. AND IF YOU CANT EVEN SEARCH, LEARN TO ASK IN ENGLISH THAT IS FUCKIN UNDERSTANDABLE SO SOMEONE CAN GUIDE YOU ABOUT WHAT YOU SHOULD SEARCH
OH FUCKIN GAWD IM GONNA THROW MY LAPTOP OUT OF THE WINDOW8 -
Customer care guys are stupid
Me : yeah, OS crashed. It keeps getting into bios setup saying there's no hard drive detected on this system and no recovery file found as well, what do ?
Him : "well sir, your OS has been corrupted and now you have to buy new licensed one, if you can just give me your location I can help you locate out nearest service centre which will help you install a new licensed instantly"
Me : *WHAT THE ACTUAL TRIPLE FUCK* atleast try to understand the problem first.
Him : No need sir, I already come across this problem and now you have to pay, as I was saying *beep*
*I smashed the phone*
After that I fixed it myself
These low level shit licking faggots need to get themselves fucked in the ass by horses and then apply the same conversation when the intercourse begins with the horse.
Also, if I could be placed in the same customer care cell, I would do better.
So wk62 too I guess3 -
FUCK CORPORATE EMAIL SPAM
AND I DON'T MEAN SOME SOME EXTERNAL SCAM/AD/PISHING EMAILS
I MEAN THE SHIT MY OWN COMPANY SENDS TO ME
LIKE:
"tHE WelLbeIng Course : SiGN In now!!!!!"
"#MoRnIngcOfFEE witH SOME cORporatE TWAt"
"Give togetHER : LETs circLE JerK OurSeLveS in SOMe fuCKiNg oNLiNe mEetInG !!!!!!!"
I DON'T FUCKING CARE !
I GET DOZENS (IF NOT FUCKING HUNDREDS) OF SUCH SHIT EMAILS EVERY DAY.
IF I GO ON VACATION, I HAVE TO SPEND HOURS TO SORT SHIT OUT
I HAVE HAD TO SET UP ELABORATE OUTLOOK RULES TO GET IT SORTED AUTOMATICALLY INTO SOME MANAGEABLE FOLDERS (AND SPEND SOME OF MY LIMITED TIME, HERE ON EARTH, TO DO SO)
AND GUESS WHAT
THANKS TO THOSE STUPID RULES I MISSED, ONE FUCKING IMPORTANT EMAIL
CAN YOU JUST STOP FUCKING SPAMMING ME ?!!!
FOR CHRIST SAKE AND I DON'T CARE ABOUT THIS STUPID CORPORATE BULLSHIT
STOP SENDING IT TO ME9 -
Guys, I think it's time to fight back!
Whenever a client ask you about IE9 support, tell him to find someone else, because noone the fuck uses IE9 and if someone somehow does, then it's his fault!
Then he will search for other dev, but if we all do so, we can forget about supporting stupid old shit again!2 -
I hate this fucking front-end stuff so hard..
How DA FUCK is it possible that I set up the whole backend including DB connection, base controllers, models, base validation and stuff in an hour but don't get this fucking fucking retarded JS framework piece of shit to display a test string after ONE FUCKING HOUR!!!
Why do we need this shit anyway? Why does everything have to be shiny with some fucking animations???
It's about the information, isn't it? Then WHY DOES IT HAVE TO LOOK PRETTY???
I gonna travel back in fucking time to the early 80's!
Stupid front-end shit..23 -
The story of my webshop with this fuckin' asshole continues! I decided to stop with the webshop as my partner didn't do anything, so I handed over my shares to my business partner. This was done formally at the notary. Immediately after, we agreed that I would hand over everything that same week. 1 day later I cannot access any accounts. He said that a hand over was not necessary and that he took appropriate measures. Now, 4 months later, I got a letter from a collection agency telling me to hand over the tradename. Uhm what? Tradename? I don't own it so I replied that there's nothing to hand over. A day later again a letter that he will sue me if I don't hand over the tradename. Mr. Prick Lawyer, I understand that you mean the DOMAINname, but why the fuck do you keep referring to the tradename?! You too stupid to understand the difference? So, to get rid of this crap I made an offer to sell him the domainname, which he accepted. But mr. Asshole moved the shop to a different hostingprovider thinking that the dns would be magocally updated. Of course not asshole. So I offered (to be cooperative) to update dns so his site will work again. I did. A day later again a letter that site still not reachable and he'd sue me for all damages etc.
What a muppet show! You think ypu can sue me because YOU made a config mistake? He's a funny guy! I told the lawyer to not send me any 'issues' caused by mr. Asshole's unprofessional acting and if he does, I'll charge him for every second spent.
Today mr. Asshole's webshop says 'Apache is functioning normally' and that's it. Well done, asshole! See how eaay my job is and how little knowledge it requires? You proved ypu can do it yourself Big boy! Good luck selling shit on your website. Good luck with your seo rankings. And good luck fucking yourself in the ass!
Now I'm going to sue you because of copyrights violations. You use my software and you don't have a license. Either pay or remove it or I'll make you pay!5 -
You know what? Fuck it. Git CLI. Hot take.
Question is "least favorite". Not "worst". Not "least important".
Git is great, essential, fantastic, whatever. But I hate interacting with the CLI. I can never remember the stupid fucking commands, I always mess shit up if I need to do something outside of my normal workflow, and honestly, usually the correct way of doing shit looks fucked.
So fuck git CLI and its learning curve27 -
I am DONE with this woman CONTINUED!
I didn't think I'd have to put another rant about this stupidity at least not this soon but she just keeps on giving!
I have my noise canceling headphones on most of the time and when I want to hear the people around, I just put the right earcup of it to the side of my ear so the music pauses. Today we had a huge disrupt on our services because of a network switch error on the hub. I was also trying to focus on my coding as I didn't wanna do a stupid mistake on the last working day and be sorry about it in the next week.
So this woman sneaks up on me from behind calling my name - meaning she has a question, surprise! -, I say 'yes' moving my head to her side ever so slightly without getting my eyes off of my screen stating subtly that I'm also listening to her while trying to focus on my shit. She starts yelling at me 'look at me!' out of nowhere! I turn my head and ask what the problem is and she asks why I'm not looking at her face! Stupid moron, I might not be too good in understanding your way of communication but you are the one asking so you WILL wait if you'd like to hear answers.
I say I'm working on something and her answer is again 'Why aren't you looking at my face it's going to be quick bla bla did we do this like that?' and I answered I didn't remember because there's no way I'd ever remember without looking further and it was no lie.
This woman clearly has stability issues and everyone else seem to be tolerating it. It's now obvious as I'm not tolerating the nonsense I'll be the one that 'she only has ever had a problem with'.
I was quick to de escalate the situation but now I'm thinking maybe I should've responded in a way that she could understand. I wouldn't ever give a shit about it but this is getting ridiculous.19 -
I've just disassembled this LED floodlight that I bought a while ago. It's some stupid little cheapie from a dollar store, so I figured that there'd be shit inside. But I wanted that LED cob.. a power LED :3
Well, shit wasn't too far off from the truth. The component choice is reasonable, but the design of the bloody thing.. batshit insane. The LED floodlight is powered by 4 AAA batteries, connected in series. So 6VDC. That then goes into this little tactile pushbutton, into the LED cob and then a 4.7 ohm resistor.
Well that's a pretty easy circuit.. let's remove the batteries and the casement, and put it on the lab bench power supply. Probes connected to the circuit with only the resistor and the LED cob in between (I didn't want to deal with the switch). Power supply set to 6V, current limiting to 500mA, contact!! And it works, amazing! So I let it run for a while to see that nothing gets too hot.. hah. After a minute or so, smoke would come out.. LED cob was a bit warm to the touch but nothing too bad. But the resistor.. I could cook water on it if I wanted to! 100 fucking °C, and rising. What the F yo?!
So I figured that I didn't want to put the resistor in between there. Just the LED cob now, which apparently has a forward voltage somewhere between 3.2V and 3.3V depending on how I set the current (500mA and 600mA respectively). Needed a bigger heatsink though, so I jammed one of my aluminium heatsinks on there. And it worked great! Very bright too, as it takes between 1.6 and 2W of power. Just for a comparison, the lighting in my living room is 4x5W and the ones on top of my dining table are 2x3W (along with some TL bar that my landlord put there.. fluorescent I think). So yeah, 2W is quite a lot for an LED, especially when it's all concentrated into one tiny spot.
That said, back to the original design with the resistor. 2 questions I have for that moron that designed this crap. First, why use a resistor for a power LED?! They needlessly waste power, and aren't good choices for anything that consumes more than 100mA. You should use PWM for these purposes, or tune your voltage on the supply side. Second, why go with 6V when your forward voltage is 3.3 at most? Wouldn't it make more sense to use 3 batteries with 4.5V? Ah, but I know the answer to the second one. AAA cells aren't rated for high loads like this. So that's likely why the alkaline cells that I had in there before have started leaking. Thanks, certified piece of shit!
Honestly, consumer electronics are such a joke... At least there's some components that I can salvage from this crap. Mainly the LED cob, but also the resistor and the tactile pushbutton perhaps.
One last remark that I'd like to make. This floodlight was cheap garbage. But considering that you can't do it well at that price, you just shouldn't do it. You know why? Because consumers always go for the cheapest. Makes a lot of money to build at rock bottom prices and make shit, but it damages the whole industry, since now the good designs will go out of business. That's why consumer electronics is so full of crap nowadays. Some unethical profiteering gluttons saw money, and they replaced the whole assortment with nothing but garbage. I'm sure that there's a special place in hell for that kind of people.17 -
WEB FUCKING THREE
Ok, some of this shit is interesting, let's get that out of the way:
Crypto - great for doing illegal things, great for financial speculation, interesting mathematically. But as likely to replace actual currency as I am to replace the fucking Queen.
NFT - should be written on the headstone of humanity. Entirely fucking useless, planet-roasting bro-wank dressed up as a revolution in...pretending to own shit. The only difference between a Bored Ape owner and my nephew pointing at a castle and insisting that it's his, is that he isn't thousands and thousands of pounds out of pocket by doing so.
Metaverse - AR and VR have been around before this dogshit rebrand, and they'll outlive it.
No, it's not that. It's that we now have a new species of parasite - the "Web3/Metaverse" LinkedIn guru insisting that this shit is even needed, let alone the next big thing.
Web 2.0 was a stupid fucking term alright, but it did represent a new generation of technologies that were badly needed, and adopted by the entire community. Web3 is a bunch of shit that some cunts think they can get rich off, so insist that we need. I wouldn't even give a fuck but I've already spent hours of my life explaining to clients and peers that this is UTTER FUCKING BOLLOCKS, there's no need for a blockchain in your app, there's no need for a blockchain in virtually anything. Yeah if you want some fucking 3d in your app or your page I'm your man, but if you keep saying 'metaverse' I'm going to fill it with easter eggs.
None of this shit was needed before and none of it is needed after. Have you looked at web3 games? It's Steve Buscemi asking 'how do you do, fellow computer games?', it's a fucking gambling app pretending to be something a human would do. Clash of Clans and Candy Crush already cornered the market for that type of fucking mug, right now you're making the Candy Crush business model look responsible and efficient. You CUNTS.46 -
!dev && feelsbadman
I don't know what to think.
All I know is that I just went reaaaaal close to a disaster.
Friday morning, my "scariest" manager (as in, if you have to meet with him, it's usally for something serious) told me that he needed to see me on monday (so today) with the lead dev, the project manager and the dude who recruited me.
The meeting was like an arena of 4 vs 1, where they all 4 had problem with the work I do, as in I make a lot of small but stupid mistakes that wastes everyone's time. As an excuse, I suffer from sleep apnea so I wake up as tired I am when I go to sleep, and I snore loud as fuck. I've heard some records, it's not even human. (I'm 1m85-ish for 125 kg, it's BIG but with my morphology it's not like I'm a ball of fat)
Anyway. And since it's not the first time they're reproaching me this kind of stuff, they were all... really angry. Because I'm a nice guy, competent and all but not productive enough and easily distracted.
So, when the manager asked me to meet me, it was to fire me. However, during the lunch break, the lead dev found a solution: I get out of the current project I was in until this morning, and I write all the functional tests for all the projects, because they all lack quality and we sometimes deliver regresses.
They proposed me this in a way I could refuse, and I'd get fired because they had no other options. Obviously, I said yes, I'm not stupid enough to decline a possibilty to avoid a monstruous shitstorm that would have cut me my studies, the money for taxes, and a lot of fun to find a job as fast as possible.
But what surprised me the most is that they were genuinely glad I accepted, like, even though I made my shit ton of mistakes, they weren't pleased at all to get rid of me.
And in a way, I'm the one who won in this story, since I don't have to work with Drupal anymore, excepted to parse the website to write my tests, but my nightmare fuel is finally gone *.*
I don't know where to finish with this rant, but I needed to vent this whole thing, to write it somewhere so I can move forward.
I wish y'all a nice week.3 -
I'm fixing a security exploit, and it's a goddamn mountain of fuckups.
First, some idiot (read: the legendary dev himself) decided to use a gem to do some basic fucking searching instead of writing a simple fucking query.
Second, security ... didn't just drop the ball, they shit on it and flushed it down the toilet. The gem in question allows users to search by FUCKING EVERYTHING on EVERY FUCKING TABLE IN THE DB using really nice tools, actually, that let you do fancy things like traverse all the internal associations to find the users table, then list all users whose password reset hashes begin with "a" then "ab" then "abc" ... Want to steal an account? Hell, want to automate stealing all accounts? Only takes a few hundred requests apiece! Oooh, there's CC data, too, and its encryption keys!
Third, the gem does actually allow whitelisting associations, methods, etc. but ... well, the documentation actually recommends against it for whatever fucking reason, and that whitelisting is about as fine-grained as a club. You wanna restrict it to accessing the "name" column, but it needs to access both the "site" and "user" tables? Cool, users can now access site.name AND user.name... which is PII and totally leads to hefty fines. Thanks!
Fourth. If the gem can't access something thanks to the whitelist, it doesn't catch the exception and give you a useful error message or anything, no way. It just throws NoMethodErrors because fuck you. Good luck figuring out what they mean, especially if you have no idea you're even using the fucking thing.
Fifth. Thanks to the follower mentality prevalent in this hellhole, this shit is now used in a lot of places (and all indirectly!) so there's no searching for uses. Once I banhammer everything... well, loads of shit is going to break, and I won't have a fucking clue where because very few of these brainless sheep write decent test coverage (or even fucking write view tests), so I'll be doing tons of manual fucking testing. Oh, and I only have a week to finish everything, because fucking of course.
So, in summary. The stupid and lazy (and legendary!) dev fucked up. The stupid gem's author fucked up, and kept fucking up. The stupid devs followed the first fuckup's lead and repeated his fuck up, and fucked up on their own some more. It's fuckups all the fucking way down.rant security exploit root swears a lot actually root swears oh my stupid fucking people what the fuck fucking stupid fucking people20 -
Rather than singling out one person, I wanna present what I see as incompetent/stupid/ignorant:
- no will to learn
- failure to follow the very specific instructions & later asking for help when they FUBR sth & not even knowing what they did to fuck up in the first place
- asking how to solve stuff, then ignoring the suggestions & doing sth totally against recommendations
- failure to remember most basic stuff, especially if not writing it down to look at later when needed
- failure to check logs & 'google' stuff before asking why something isn't working the way they want it
- after two weeks, asking me how feature xy works, mind you they coded it, not me
- asking me why they did something in a specific way - WTF, am I a mind reader?! Who designed that crap?! Me or you?!!
- being passive/aggressive & snarky when told to do something or being asked why isn't it done already
- not testing their shit properly
- not making backups when upgrading (production) servers
- not checking the input value, no validation.. even after many many debacles on production with null ref exceptions
- failure to admit they fucked up
- not learning from (their) mistakes8 -
HR, why so stupid?
I'm currently living in Sweden, want to move to Austria (significant other is studying there, I'm finishing my studies over here)
Me: *Applies for a Junior Java Dev job via company's online platform*
HR1: We like your CV, be here for an interview in person in 5 days.
Me: That's expensive, can we do it via Skype? I'm still in Sweden.
HR1: How are you planning on working in Austria while living in Sweden?
Me: I'm not. I'll move to Austria in 2 months. That's when I'd like to start working with you.
Me: *wonders why they skipped that part in my CV/cover letter as it's clearly stated there*
HR1: ....
Me: Hello?
Me: Helloooo?
HR2: We're sorry to tell you that the position of Senior Database Engineer has been filled. May we use your CV for other potential openings at our company?
Me: No worries, I applied for Junior Java Dev anyways. You may use my CV for other openings.
HR2: Oh, sorry for the confusion. I just mistyped the job title.
Me: *WTF? That was a machine-generated answer. Your system filed my application in the wrong place. You didn't mistype shit.*
HR1: Oh good for you. We've suddenly found out we need a Junior Java Dev as well as a Senior Database Engineer. Do you have time for a Skype interview this afternoon?
Me: ....
HR1: Hello?
Me: ....
HR1: Tomorrow then?4 -
OK.
1. So i tindered.
2. I got a really nice girl.
3. We chatted really long and good.
4. We tried to meetup it did not work because of our schedule. New
job on my end, she is a student.
5. I thought its over. Fine whatever.
6. She gives me her number.
7. We continue chat on whatsapp
8. Blablabla 3 days long, she gets bored and tries to friendzone me
9. I revert the shit and state i wanna be serious and there wont be a
friendzone/nice guy comin from me.
10. She happy and continues to chat.
11. I get emtionally invested in her.
12. We exchange thoughts dreams and music.
13 We want to meetup at weekend. I cant. Got a family wedding all
weekend.
14. We want to meetup the second week.
I cant. Im off on a company trip. Again new job here.
15. So we say in the week after I get back.
15a. Before the weekend we need to deliver an rc and go all out to hold
the deadline.
15b. We deliver, but shit happens on the customer side. His fault but we
get the blame.
15c I go onto the company trip.
16. We chat and i send her pictures of the trip over the weekend so she
sees I care.
17. She seems fine. And happy.
18. I come back from the trip late night and need to work the next day
jetlag style.
19. I work jetlag style. And try to fix the shit from last week.
20. I come home really tired and looking forward to date day tomorrow.
21. I cant do anything. My home looks like shit and the bag still
unpacked. I just eat and fall asleep.
I feel bad bcs my home will turn her down instantly if we make it to my
place.
Need to hope that it does not come to this.
22. Date day comes. Today.
23. I wake up at 6 early to plan ahead to make sure my clothes are fine
and i arrive on time in the office to exit early.
24. I expect to check what goes on today in the city and give her the
location to meet and time.
25. I enter office and immeadetly get caught up in meeting planning, dev
questions and the meeting itself because the project is on edge.
26. We have a 5hours long meeting where people go on and on and on.
27. 3h later in the meeting:
my brain was fried and around 12 i go to lunch with some people.
28. Meanwhile the city is turning into a rainy mess of a shitty day. No
way I can have a nice walk with her like that. Bars and coffeshops are
just to boring.
29. So i eat to regain some sense and we go back to the office.
Meanwhile I am thinking all kinds of locations and stuff in my head.
30. Havent given her any update since a good morning in the morning.
31. We reenter the meeting. Things continue like before. The project is
on impossible demands and impossible timelines. Still we try to do our
best.
32 3h later on 3pm I tell her i am in a long meeting and working on a
meetingspot.
33. shes not happy.
34. I get a call from a relative
35. i need to go out and take the call. not good for the collegues.
again new job here.
36. family trouble, money trouble, goverment demands. I promise to
handle that tomorrow. Before work.
37. i get back into the meeting.
38. still super slow and no results.
39. need to focus but start to check for locations on my phone.
40. she asks me where i am
41. I send her my location.
42. she thinks i am saying she should pick me up!
43 i joke and say no definitly not.
44. shes pissed.
45. I decide for a coffeeshop. after work. and send her the location
46. She says to call it off.
47. I go all in and go romance style. I say ill wait there even if she
does not come to show her how much i care.
U know to avoid the lets do it some other time fuckery and then it never
happens.
47. She goes quiet.
48. 2h later we finish the meeting. Meanwhile QA foudn a bug we need to
fix because why not.
49. I got 30 minutes to find the bug and fix it before I need to go to
uphold my word.
50. I find out what to do, but it might break a lot of other things
without careful test and implementation. Collegues says he takes it.
51 I feel bad but I need to go. I even leave earlier because otherwise I
would not be on time.
52. I arrive 15 minutes early. I grab two coffee2go and wait outside,
53. Shitty weather, sometimes rain, sometimes sunny, cant decide what it
wants.
54. The weather is just like how I feel.
55. I wait 1 1/2h
56. I think I should feel stupid, For gods sake its tinder. People dont
give a crap, Enough people around why should I Invest so much into this?
But I dont feel stupid. Because this is how I want it. I dont want
appointments, I dont want safety. I decided for her and I went all in.
57. I send her pics from the sceneray as proof that I waited,
58. I think I blew it. She is still quiet.
59. Friends are asking me for plans for the weekend. I wish I could say
I already have some with her.
60. I feel lost right now. But my head says I put too much stress on
her, And i fucked up with the planning. I should have been more precise.
My head also says that i am putting myself into the victim role, which
is wrong always. Should I continue to reach out to her? Is there
something I could do still?68 -
Yesterday I stayed at home sick. Had a bad case of the EXPLOSIVE DIARRHEA FROM HELL. Was feeling ok but could not walk away from me throne.
Went in today cuz the lead was not gonna be there and shit always breaks on Freyja's day as we all know.
1 and a half hours before we clock out and go home someone calls saying that students are trying to drop from classes at the last minute and our app ain't doing it.
I "fixed" the app last week and ran a small login test. It work so I thought it was fine. Stupid me for making unprofessional and retarded assumptions.
Manager freaks out. The entire school freaks out. Coworker lols cuz he ain't got to work on it. I start mind debugging the entire bitcheridoo.
45 minutes later...and I was able to successfully go through almost 15k lines of code of php/html/js code and fucking FIXED it with tests and all for real.
Went at it hard. Babe ass manager was like 0.0 and then (͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Called head office and told them everything was undr control.
Dropped the phone like a mic. Mic drop.
Then I looked at manager and coworker and said "ya I fucked up, but I am still the king"
Both nodded in agreement.
Everyone got wet with my sheer awesome troubleshooting php master skills.
Got home thinking about how boss I am.
Fucking Texas af b. Can't touch this heat. The rangers still suck and so do the cowboys. The astros and the texans don't exist because there is only room for one. Go spurs.
Still have diarrhea.
Fuck yeah.8 -
This god damned fucking group Project in University!
How did 2 of these stupid as shit ballsacks of useless crap even manage to get through the first 4 semesters?
And now they can't contribute to anything. Or even worse is when they do contribut and mess up everything. Its like trying to play chess with a god damn bird.
Now this fucking project is robbing me of my sleep and the fucking idiots that organize the whole damn thing don't even care about that it's basically just me and one other guy carrying the fucking project.
Stupid theoretic computer science people that get to use as as slaves for their resarch because we "need to get some experience".
If I get anymore fucking experience of how a big software production works I'm going to fucking murder someone...
Verdammtes Arschgeigengesöcks.
Diese schwanzlutschenden Pferdgefickten Eiterwichsende Hurrensöhne.
I fucking shit Blood because I'm in too much stress. And I mean that literally. My fucking asshole burst open because I fucking have to deal with you dirty disgusting scumbags.8 -
Saw some cheapie little radio in the dollar store, bought 2 of them for reverse engineering. Powered it from my lab bench power supply as usual, and tested whether it actually works before doing anything else.. then I noticed that the tunes were actually quite catchy, so I just ended up listening.
Then I started to notice that the audio wire I was using (the one I've spent a couple of days building earlier) had intermittent audio issues where the right driver would drop out when the wire was held in certain positions. Oscilloscope probing showed that there was some sort of disconnect, with only the 50Hz noise from the power lines showing up. Opened up the connector and noticed that the ground wire had detached. An 28AWG electrical wire that was inside a jack that was meant for stress relief! Yet the copper strands must've detached one by one regardless. What do I need then, huh?! 18AWG which wouldn't even fit on the connector, only to see the strands in that eventually detach as well?! You know what, let's go fancy.. 1AWG which is meant for extremely high current applications!!
At that point I was literally shouting "FUCK!!! Why does this shit always happen to me?!! ONE FUCKING PROJECT THAT FINISHED SUCCESSFULLY, YET STILL BROKE?!!!! WHY!!!!!!"
Clearly I need some fresh air to cool down. On my way to the fast food restaurant to get some Bicky burgers. More shit, humans. One stupid driver who slowed down on me, which of all things I hate the most. GO FASTER ALREADY YOU SLOWFUCK, AND GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY SIGHT!!! Next a pedestrian with a dog.. I swear motherfucker, if that dog comes anywhere near me I'll personally turn it into fucking fricassee.
Ah and then comes the killer.. in this stupid fucking summer, all that's needed to fix any issue is a fucking stupid DESPACITO, right?! More like DeSPASTICo!! FUCK!!!!
.. Back home, rather tired. So essentially a wire that was specifically built to have high endurance broke on me. Back to Bluetooth I guess.rant fuck the planet fuck humanity fuck everything fuck despacito fuck despastico fuck life fuck me fuck humans fuck the world fuck this shit fuck society2 -
Me: "Concierge, I have noticed this issue with live potential on ground a couple of months ago, just a friendly reminder that this still hasn't been fixed."
Concierge: "Well yeah this building is certified (god I hate that word) so whatever measurements you've taken, it doesn't mean anything when it isn't done by the electricians."
M: "Aha, back to that piece of paper huh.. taking measurements requires a piece of paper these days, doesn't it."
C: "Glad you're quick on the uptake."
M: "Well I have the brains in my head to do a proper measurement without dying, and the numbers don't lie."
C: "What do you think that the landlord is going to say? I'm sure you still remember that email "DON'T TOUCH THE ELECTRICITY!""
C: "And remember that she'll probably rather file a complaint against you than to let an electrician come check it, because the latter costs money for something that's already certified."
M: "Well that sucks..."
C: "The certified electricians certified this building. Your hands are pretty much tied."
M: …
*walks off in frustration*
Now, as for the rant. *inhales deeply*
YOU KNOW WHERE YOU CAN SHOVE THAT PIECE OF PAPER?! DOWN YOUR FUCKING ASS! WHAT DOES A FUCKING PIECE OF PAPER MEAN TO JUSTIFY WRONGDOING?! WHAT DOES IT FUCKING MEAN WHEN IT ISN'T BACKED BY A FUCKING BRAIN?!
Yet I apparently can't do anything, because I refuse to certify myself. Now you know why I fucking hate certified enganeers, and why I use that word. The piece of paper doesn't mean shit when you can't back it with an actual fucking brain. And requiring a certificate to do stupid shit, even for changing a fucking light bulb, or a switch or an outlet or whatever. Certified enganeers, because fuckers like that don't deserve to be called engineers. You know what, certified motherfuckers? FUCK YOU!! I can change it myself and I don't (shouldn't) need a bloody fucking certificate for that!!16 -
So just finished the presentation for my internship project. I'm free now!(and can sleep normal times too) But I have a few things I need to get off my mind. Dunno if it'll seem a bit stupid to some of you..but yeahh....
Anyway, during my demo yesterday
Lecturer: So this project of yours uses some open-source stuff?
Me: Yeah.
L: And if the company wants to use if for commercialization they need to pay for the license?
M: Thats basically it. Yes.
L: Well, see..thats the problem with your project. You need to think of all this things. If there's no other options then just code the whole shit yourself. Or maybe discuss with the management on this.
Yeah...see, I doubt the management here cares about us anyway. Oh, you're working on your intern stuff. Not important. Just resize the pictures in my powerpoint will you? Oh and you want to use the company computers for your project? No can do..confidentiality stuff. But make sure the thing will work on our system anyway when you're done with it. And even if you use our computers, they restart everytime you open Word anyway..hahaha. You want access to this thing so you can learn a bit on our company's work. Sorry but no. EVERYTHING is confidential so you can't access it since you're interns, eventhough our company is the one that took you inanyway.
Manager: Oh, the thing you're making is pretty cool. You know,all of you can just give your systems to us later.
Friend: Yeah well, maybe we can ask the company for payment? Haha.
Manager: Hahaha well the company can just take your systems for free since you're doing it on our working hours.
Fuck. You. When we ask to do our stuff you said noooo its the company hours. Do our work. And do your stuff back at home or something. Oh, but then we'll drag you around the state to see the clients, and you'll reach home at 8-9pm or something, but of course you're not tired right? So just code then. Or you're not going anywhere today? You're still not allowed to code here eventhough you don't have any work though...so just sit there and be quiet. Or maybe shred my papers for me. Fuck your working hours.
Lecturer: And well, thats the problem with some students *looks pointedly at me* they want to go to non-technical companies so that they can have it easy. Your friends who go to other companies will learn a lot more.
Do you think I fucking want to be here??? This is the only company I got so fuck that. Even when I get different offers and apply to change companies, you go nope. No can do. Stick with your current company eventhough we know that its shit for IT students because its a big company, see? And we have our university's reputation to upkeep. I came here to learn, not make you the No.1 university or something. And its not like you, or the staffs here, help us with anything.
So fuck all of this. We're gonna tell the other lecturers to stop sending students here. You don't learn anything. I'm done with this shit, not gonna think or worry about it anymore..I'll just, go get cake or something. Yeah.3 -
A brief, and biased opinion of what love is in the dev world:
Love is my employees bringing me something to eat when they know I stay back so that they can all go out do whatever they can do.
Love is my CMS admin getting his ass up and walking all the way to my office when the director walks in to say some STUPID FUCKING SHIT to me that he(CMS Admin) knows would have me 2 fucking seconds away from getting out of my chair and drop kicking the fuck out of him.
Love is the rest of my employees getting up to follow along in case(certainly) one dude is not able to hold me down.
Love is them knowing that I know that their mere presence there will make me chill the fuck out and not choke the fucking director
Love is the CMS Admin proof reading every email I send to a bitch that was trying to get smart, to make sure that I was not being agressive.
Love is said CMS Admin bringing me coffee or a coke congratulating me on listening to him about X email not being aggressive (there is no passive in my vocabulary, just balls out "isn't this your fucking job" aggressive)
Love is my lead developer showing to work after medical treatment fucked up as all hell because he knows that if he is not there I will do a billion things myself in order to give him some rest.
Love is taking my CMS admin and lead dev out to eat when a major stakeholder shits on something I damn well know it took them a while to finish. Love is also letting me open up to said stakeholder to tell them how much of a fucktard they are, sometimes they let me loose, and I appreciate that.
Love is every small person in the company approaching you to tell you of their issues, becuase they care more about the productivity they give to their users, rather than the bullshit numbers their managers care about.
Love is the staff of other places taking care of you because you are not a VP dickhead that treats them like shit.
Love is the HR reps sending you personal e-mails asking you for help because their shitbag of a boss does not count for help and leaves them in the blank with shit software, for which said HR go above and beyond for you later on even though said shitbag manager said no.
Love is your team getting angry and responding respectfully at people when they talk shit about their manager on their emails (manager being me)
Love is your employees closing your door for you when they know you are overwhelmed and you need a quick second to pull yourself up.
Love is not wanting to leave this miserable place because you know some dickweed will be left in charge of the people that care for you, trust you, work for you regardless of the date, and confide in you.
They got me locked in, this shitty institution, for now. Until I find a way to bring my entire team with me.8 -
Hello devRant,
This is already from a few days ago but I had to process the whole thing myself first.
It was a normal day at work nothing special. Customers came in got their repaired PC's/Laptops and brought some new work in. So I went through some and then I got to the case that is the most well unbelievable and shocking I had in the only 2 years doing this. At first it was a normal HDD bad sector thing and I started copying the old HDD to a new one.
//NOTE: the program we use shows every file it's copying and the sectors it spans //
Suddenly I saw a weird thing happening where it started copying tons of files from a folder called "mature/kids" over to the new HDD.
I noted the path and after it finished we returned the laptop to the customer and he luckily left his old HDD with us. So my boss and I we did some investigation and we'll turns out the dude has a whole library of childpornography.
tl;dr check what you copied and report such cases to the police.
Don't do such stupid shit and stay legal guys.
Which you all a great day/night/morning/evening/whatever
//EDIT: I ofc won't post pictures cause of obvious reasons3 -
Well, shit... I may have just shot myself in the foot. 🤔
5 years worth of asking my boss to get a Mac development machine for me, thereby allowing me to better create and maintain the hybrid mobile apps I've been building for him for years...
I finally got a definitive "yes, we'll do that" about 2 or 3 weeks back.
Now, running into stupid startup crashes on the aging iPad (6th gen) that I have for testing, I asked if I can just get a "Mac in cloud" subscription IN THE MEANTIME, you know, to help me meet deadlines...
His response: "Ah, yes.. that's a nice elegant solution, now you don't need a Mac! Well done."
F.. M.. L..8 -
I've tried to stay out of the fray regarding replacing long-standing terminology to use "safe" inclusive wording instead because it doesn't seem like that big of a deal to me to just use the new wording. If the old wording wasn't hurting people (this is an argument that a of a lot of people use regarding this mass naming change movement) then the new wording shouldn't hurt anyone either...
that was just my 2 cents on the topic, until today!
Some dumb motherfuckers are trying to replace the word 'execute' with 'start'/'run'.
That's just some fucking ignorant plebian shit right there. The literal definition of execute is:
"The act or process to carry out fully or put completely into effect"
"to do what is provided or required by..."
"to perform what is required to give validity to..."
start and run don't grammatically encapsulate what execute does. And now I sound like a fucking grammar nazi because this shit is getting under my skin more than it should.
Execute's primary definition is grammatically correct for the context in which it is used.
Change Master/Slave for databases and I couldn't give a single solitary fuck about it. Primary/Secondary works just fine too. The grammatical context isn't blown away here.
But take away my execute and sudden I get all hot and bothered with the desire to punch a nun over how stupid this "offensive words" crusade is.
Thank you for coming to my Ted talk.15 -
This is more of a wishful thinking scenario......but language/tech stack/whatever bashing.
Look, I get it, we like development, we would not be here if we didn't like it. But as my good friend @Stuxnet has mentioned in the past, making this a personality trait is fucking retarded, lame, small, and overall pathetic. I agree with this sentiment 100%
Because of this a lot of people have form some sort of elitist viewpoint concerning the technologies that people use, be it Java, C#, C++, Rust, PHP, JS, whatever, the same circle jerk of bashing on shit just seems completely fucking retarded. I am hoping for a new mentality being that most of us are younger, even if you are a 50+ year old developer, maturity should give you a different perspective, but alas, immaturity and a bitchy attitude carried throughout years of self dick sucking implications would render this null.
I could not give two fucks if the dude next to me is coding his shit in whatever as long as best practices are followed, proper documentation is enforced, results are being brought to our customers(which regardless of how much you try to convince us, none of your customers are fucking elite level) and happiness is ensured, then so fucking be it.
Gripes bitches and complaints are understandable, I dislike a couple of things about my favorite tools, and often wish certain features be involved in my particular tech stacks, does this make stuff bad? no, does it make me or anyone else less of a developer,? no so why give a fuck? bitch when shit bites you in the ass when someone does not know what the fuck they are doing with a language that permits writing bullshit. Which to be honest ALL of them fucking allow. Not one is saved from this. But NOT knowing how to work a solution, or NOT understanding a tech stack does not give you AUTOMATIC FULL insight on how x technology operates, thinking as such is so fucking arrogant and annoying.
But I am getting tired of looking at posts from Timmy, a 18 year old "dev" from whothefuckcares bitch about shit when they have never even made a fucking penny out of their "development" endeavors just because they read some dickhead's opinion on the internet regarding x tech stack and believes that adopting their bullshit troll ass virgin ideas makes them l337.
Get your own fucking opinion on things, be aggressive and stand fucking straight, maybe get some fucking pussy(or dick, whatever) and for fucks's sake learn to interact with other fucking human beings, take a fucking run, play games, break out from your whinny bitch ass shell, talk to that person that intimidates you, take a run, do yoga, martial arts anything that would break you out from being such a small little bitch.
Just fucking do something that keeps you from shitting on people 24/7 365/ a year.
We used to bitch about incompetent managers, shit bosses, fucking ludicrous assignments. Retarded shit that some other dev did, etc, etc. Seems like every other fucking retard getting into this community starts with stupid ass JS/PHP/Python/Java/C#/ whatever jokes and you idiots keep upvoting that shit. Makes those n00bs gain credability. Fuck me shit is so pathetic.
basically, make dev rant great again.
No fuck off and have a beer, or tea or whatever y'all drink.13 -
!dev
Sucks how the society pressures people into to stupid, irrational shit.
For the last time, I DO NOT WANT TO HOP THE BANDWAGON.
while(1) {
head.bang(table);
}27 -
I am DONE with this woman.
Background: we're a team of 3 developers and I'm the junior in this team and I've been in this shit for a year now. 2 months ago the team leader left for another project and I had to stand in for him in every responsibility against the PM and other teams.
Now I not only had to endure this insecure woman but I was also supposed to work with her! Fast-forward to today, the team leader is back and I thought I could put my headphones on and work peacefully at last.
But no!
I've found out she's sent a faulty code to production - no big deal - and said that over chat (although she's sitting right behind me):
Me: We need to fix this.
Her: What?
Me: *giving some details about the issue*
Her: Your attitude is important when you ask me to do something. Whenever you're writing to me you're typing on your keyboard like you're going to break it on my head.
*me not knowing what to say at this point because we had something stupid like this before*
Me: So you're offended by the sound my keyboard makes? (I have mx brown switches by the way and they're not even loud)
Her: No you're typing too fast when you're writing to me. The sound echoes in the office.
...
Can you fucking believe this shit? I hate people that think they can educate me but have no idea how to rationally respond to situations and take responsibility! I didn't even say anything!
And she's been saying to me she hadn't had a problem with any other people for gazillion years who knows how long and why would she cause a problem now! And thinks I am the problem, fuck YOU!
Since you don't like receiving orders why hadn't you taken the place when the fucking guy went for another project but I had to take all the responsibility? I know why you fucking entitled bitch.
Because you HAD NO IDEA AND YOU STILL DON'T.
So shut the fuck up and do as I say.
Kind regards9 -
Follow-up to https://devrant.com/rants/1551635
I think that I've found the reason for this Acer motherboard's refusal to boot up now. Apparently this featureful piece of shit expects "something" on its ID pin as well.. and why ID pin you may ask? I reckon that it's because of "certified replacements". Because you know, if it doesn't come from our shitty factorias it's gotta be shit, right?!
How about no?!! You Acer really aren't the only ones capable of producing a fucking lithium battery! And did you ever think of the edge cases where you may want to feed a lab bench power supply's voltage into the phone to mimic the battery and troubleshoot the bloody thing? Because that's what I initially wanted to do, instead of that Doogee battery. The only reason why I didn't is because the supply is currently charging up another lithium cell that I salvaged from a donated (broken) Samsung tablet, and is taking longer than expected.
Point is, if you receive the appropriate fucking level of angry pixies, YOU SHOULD FUCKING USE THEM AND BOOT UP ALREADY!!! Regardless of whether it's some sort of certified fucking Acer component or not! Somewhere between 4.2 and 2.7V stable should be good enough regardless of what produces it!
At least AliExpress sells these batteries for about €4.5, and another €2 for shipping. Considering that I can buy batteries with this capacity for €2 a pop and free shipping, this would better fucking work. Especially since I'm buying an overpriced battery of which almost half the cost is fucking shipping, just for a stupid "certified" controller that' I'll also have to put between the board and any pixie wrangler or angry pixie containment device that I use to power this shitty board. Acer, you motherfuckers!!!1 -
I am tired of toxic politics at work.
Signs of a toxic workplace:
* (good) decisions are discouraged rather than encouraged.
Someone wants to introduce a great optimization and guess what the reply is (often from someone IT-ignorant): wait a minute, you can't do that because we have all these nifty little hacks and if you dare to suggest change to our shitty system, we could not allow that! We want to stay in our comfy zone, no no!
* no one can make a decision unless Mr. favorite-developer-everyone-likes says it's a good idea. And even if he's wrong, no one cares to listen to anyone else's idea on it. Stupid Feudalism. One man decides over the entire codebase. That's just idiocy. Where's TEAM in there?
* thinking years of experience equals intellectual capacity. It certainly does not! There are senior developers with 15 years of experience who don't even know how to open commandline, or they didn't even know about Chrome developer tools, or how the HTTP spec is built. That shit just makes me cry inside. How can you give these peoples the title of senior when they know less than a freshman year kid?!
* ignoring people's education and/or capacities. "You just graduated, so you're a noob". Right, I know more than you, you idiot. You've demonstrated your ignorance often enough. Stupid ignorant colleagues.
* blaming politics (every team blames the other team and there's constant tension)
* roaming ignorance (no one in the company, and I mean no one, besides me, knows enough about Information Technology to make competent decisions or analysis)
Politics:
What gives testers the idea that they know more than other members of the team? Why do they treat devs like they are mentally challenged?
What gives PO's that same idea?
What gives managers the idea that they can just yell at developers and threaten them with time pressure? Yeah, because the customers are breathing down their neck.
Just because I am a Junior Developer, that makes me stupid? I am tired of no one caring to listen to my ideas. I could save the company at the snap of a finger but everyone ignores my opinion (and often facts) on things.
People come in and instead of asking me for help, they ask everyone else for help, including the people who don't know shit about IT; now that's insulting.
Anyway, toxic politics.3 -
Ticket: This API param doesn’t work.
Ticket Size: 1 story point / extra small baby fries
Found the issue almost immediately: some fucked up date math. Or at least backwards as hell. I don’t know. I don’t care.
There’s no spec for it, and writing it is a bitch. None of the API test helpers are designed for end-to-end tests. Why? I don’t care. They’re stupid. They all just break. And the API does weird shit like fucking redirects to an HTML page. Which is… i don’t know. They mix up API and embedded sessions a bunch, so who knows if this is right or broken as fuck.
I can’t deal with this shit anymore.
It’s just mountains of fucking garbage. Every time I dig into anything, anywhere in this codebase, or, let’s be honest: the entire goddamn company, it’s just more fucking garbage. The code is garbage. The specs are garbage. The people are garbage. The woke crap they love so much is garbage. The industry is garbage. The macs we’re required to use are garbage. The strongly-encouraged editor is garbage. The new hires are garbage. The legendary devs are garbage. The VPN is garbage — still haven’t gotten it to fucking work outside of fucking Safari, which is also garbage. The meetings are garbage. The “culture” is garbage. The “raises” are garbage. The thirty-step dance ceremony for each ticket is garbage. The literal fucking garbage at the office is the best part of the entire goddamn landfill.
And yeah, over half of the code that’s been giving me problems on this ticket was written by the same dev: The legendary golden garbage boy himself.
Just.
Fucking hell.
I’m going back to looking for work again. I can’t do this anymore.10 -
Some of the penguin's finest insults (Some are by me, some are by others):
Disclaimer: We all make mistakes and I typically don't give people that kind of treatment, but sometimes, when someone is really thick, arrogant or just plain stupid, the aid of the verbal sledgehammer is neccessary.
"Yeah, you do that. And once you fucked it up, you'll go get me a coffee while I fix your shit again."
"Don't add me on Facebook or anything... Because if any of your shitty code is leaked, ever, I want to be able to plausibly deny knowing you instead of doing Seppuku."
"Yep, and that's the point where some dumbass script kiddie will come, see your fuckup and turn your nice little shop into a less nice but probably rather popular porn/phishing/malware source. I'll keep some of it for you if it's good."
"I really love working with professionals. But what the fuck are YOU doing here?"
"I have NO idea what your code intended to do - but that's the first time I saw RCE and SQLi in the same piece of SHIT! Thanks for saving me the hassle."
"If you think XSS is a feature, maybe you should be cleaning our shitter instead of writing our code?"
"Dude, do I look like I have blue hair, overweight and a tumblr account? If you want someone who'd rather lie to your face than insult you, go see HR or the catholics or something."
"The only reason for me NOT to support you getting fired would be if I was getting paid per bug found!"
"Go fdisk yourself!"
"You know, I doubt the one braincell you have can ping localhost and get a response." (That one's inspired by the BOFH).
"I say we move you to the blockchain. I'd volunteer to do the cutting." (A marketing dweeb suggested to move all our (confidential) customer data to the "blockchain").
"Look, I don't say you suck as a developer, but if you were this competent as a gardener, I'd be the first one to give you a hedgetrimmer and some space and just let evolution do its thing."
"Yeah, go fetch me a unicorn while you're chasing pink elephants."
"Can you please get as high as you were when this time estimate come up? I'd love to see you overdose."
"Fuck you all, I'm a creationist from now on. This guy's so dumb, there's literally no explanation how he could evolve. Sorry Darwin."
"You know, just ignore the bloodstain that I'll put on the wall by banging my head against it once you're gone."2 -
Joined a new company...
It's been a week since I joined.I feel like shit.
There are over 20 employees, however I didn't had a chance to chat with a single person for more than a minute or two. Not a single meaningful or even a shitty but personal conversation. I'm trying to strike up conversations whenever I can, but there are no possibilities to do so. I think they have a few chat groups where I'm not added. At lunch time they suddenly start running to a guy that gathers the money to buy lunch, i saw that and joined, but I'm 99% sure they are communicating/speaking on some kind of chat.
I joined as a front-end developer, however I'm not sure if I'm a junior or whatever here. On the first day they showed me the system, they are using PHP and jquery + es6, the structure is messy and I'm not used to it It should be MVC-like, but messier, but it's not like anything I have seen. I usually work with opencart / cakePHP style systems. There are js files with a lot of custom funcions and sometimes there are functions that have mixed jquery and es6 inside script tags top or bottom of the view files. There are a lot of code that I don't understand, on the third day they gave me a task - to remodel a view (basically one page in the cms) I did it, but they didn't check up on me untill the next day, I gave them some notes on the task I finished, and I started making some of the code easier to read for myself after I was done. They didn't really gave me a new task, and I don't know what to do, don't have anyone to ask about what to do, because there are only 2 developers here, and the other guy is on vacation. The boss is also a coder, but he's never here and I feel like I shouldn't be asking him stupid coding questions, because you know.. He's a boss. I understand a lot more of their PHP code then their js/jquery. I feel like I'm stupid and I don't know what I am doing here and what I will be doing here in the future. I did move across the country to join this company, and if this won't work out i have a rent contract signed for a year. Today I was looking at the clock for the last 2 hours of the work day and waiting untill I could get out of there. To say that I feeling like shit would be an understatement.
I don't have anyone whom I could ask for coding advice outside of the company. Fuck.I have worked in a few companies before, but there was always an introduction to the staff, and or the working environment and usually there was a person that I could ask questions on the regular. This company is bigger however and I'm not an emotional guy whatsoever, but I feel like I will start crying.rant weird company shitty situation new company problems junior developer junior problems weird colleagues new company depression7 -
Currently, I am going through a legacy application built in microsoft access back in 90s.
* No Comments
* No Relationships between tables
* Random code that does nothing
* Weird form layouts
* Weird naming conventions
I need to copy this functionality into modern version using SQL Server Management studio and asp.net core, I also need to kill myself because none of this fucking shit fucking fuck makes sense.
I do my best to write clean and concise code along with comments but after this ordeal I am going to up my game because nobody should need to suffer through spaghetti code and stupid logic that is uncommented.
😶6 -
Please disregard. I just need to vent.
Being a manager is so fucking shit. This is not even about devs or tech specific only. Never become a manager.
Why? Because it’s about handling people and all the dumb shit they do. It’s all about knowing what people suck at and preventing that weakness from leaking into other areas. The amount of fucked up people on this earth means that you have to work with at least some of them, and that means putting up with their stupid ass list of super special requirements, that if they do not fulfill, will make them a shit worker. It’s not even an issue of technical skills.
You have the guys that are often late, because “they have depression”, but will complain that “companies don’t treat employees like adults”. Being on time for work is apparently very difficult. Which doesn’t generally matter in general for dev work, but it ends up affecting other things.
You have the completely socially inept idiots that make half the team hate them and try to avoid working with them, increasing problems and work for other people. Just because they’re socially stupid, have low or no empathy, or are incapable of not being insufferable to others.
You have the people that are so bad at estimating that they keep making up numbers instead of waiting to think for a few minutes and say “ not sure, I need to research and estimate that”.
You have the surprise absentee for dumb as fuck reasons like “my phone died lol sorry”. They never do anything to actually improve, it is just “sorry guys! Btw I will do jackshit about this”.
Or the ones whining about virtually everything, all the time. Wtf why do I have to be on scrum at 12 tomorrow?! Wtf why do I have to record the result of that customer call? Wtf why should I talk with XYZ?
And if you leave them alone, everything burns. They actually need someone to tell them “hey mate you need to improve that, shall we plan something to do so?”. I think managers are useless and unneeded when you have adults working, but it seems like most of the population is composed of children. It’s basically another form of daycare.
And you have to prepare shit around all of these constraints.
Then you have the one guy that reads the requirements, has common sense, and is inoffensive and can work like a normal adult human that needs no baby sitting. A ray of light on this shitshow.
I just want to go back to pure dev.22 -
Why is skids trying so hard when it comes to talking shit about Windows? Do they think that is it the only way to get accepted into the GNU/Linux community?
Personally, I think people who does that look stupid and dumb.7 -
Finally after one year I understood how to carry out my job. I should do exactly NOTHING. I stopped completely organizing the team, solving bugs, helping the team developing and solving problems, explore and try stupid things said by CEO, PM and consultants.
I stopped for 2 months now and nothing happened.
I work remotely, nobody knows if I'm working or not, because nobody cares really about priorities, bugs, customers or products development.
I gain 10K$ (ten thousand) per month.
I attend skype meeting once per week or less. I say yes to everything, nobody gives a shit to what I say, even if they consider me the technical director. Actually in the meetings I only take care of being considered the technical director.
I achieved the mythical 4 hours working week.
I keep skype open in all my devices in order to answer promptly in case of problem, wherever I'm am, that's the most important thing right now.
I attended some meeting from the toilet or from the bedroom.
It was hard. To understand that the board is only after the next funding and not looking to develop a real product. It's hard to pretend helping people while thinking inside you "fuck you".
You have to let go the "guilt": if you can't login, I KNOW that is my fault, that there is a bug, that is possible to solve it, that resources and planning are needed etc. That's guilt. Just let go and say "next release" and never include it in the next release.
In this way I discovered that some users are paying the application even if they can't login.
The company is not going to disappear in the next 5 years. On the contrary, it's going to receive more money.
So the only "bad" thing is, what will I write in my CV in 5 years?19 -
You stupid shit jerk fucks.
Your request to disable the coming soon mode was hours ago. Of course google will show you coming soon text when you searched for it. It is not like google is under my arse or something.
And what do you mean it is not showing up on YAHOO!
Who the hell is still using YAHOO! ?
And that YAHOO! showed me that coming soon text result just like GOOGLE when I tried. So why is it not showing that to you? Oh right, maybe because you are old and stupid.
Today is already busy enough with packing our stuffs, stop giving us stupid tasks to fix.1 -
I dont hate PHP, but I do hate when lazy admins do stupid things.
Why can't the PHP-maintainers do a proper website? Why the fuck can't I subscribe to mailing lists?
Well, it seems like when I do a request, the webserver sends a email with MY EMAIL. And guess what, the listserver REJECTS it because it fails DMARC.
They also refer to the manpage of ezman, but they have disable ALL the functions there too.
What kind of retards is doing that shit. I completely understand why people hate on PHP now.6 -
Fuck these stupid frustrating trends. It drives me fucking crazy. Scrolling a website and sections overlap each other, text flying in as you scroll, stuff fading in, images moving over text panels. FUCK OFF!!!!!!!!!! I want to read the content, I don't want to feel sick and confused. Clients - DO NOT SEND ME A LINK TO THIS KIND OF WORTHLESS SHIT, SAYING 'I WANT IT LIKE THIS'.
Used sparingly and intelligently, animation can add to the UX, but it rarely is.
Remember the 90's when lazy designers used the photoshop bevel and emboss filter on every fucking thing, the web was contaminated. Cunts.1 -
this just happened 10 seconds ago...
My mother wanted to upload a Picture to an stupid online forum... she already had a screenshot... so i told her to open "Imgur.org" she opened it and i showed her how to upload a Picture, we then uploaded that picture and posted the link on that forum... we then opened the link... and she was like: "OMG! Other people can now do shit with my PC!!"
which i replied to: Its a Picture...
She again was like: BUT LOOK!
I again its a Picture, they cant do anything...
I got mad and walked out...3 -
know what pisses me the fuck off? when the manager of another department jumps over me and goes straight to the head of my department for a request that they want from MY department.
Currently, there are 2 stupid bitches that insist on doing this fuckery. One of them keeps getting owned by our DBA since for whatever reason she sends her requests to me, just for the DBA to remind her that I ain't giving her access to shit and bla bla
The other is the head of the human resources department. It goes like this: sends wrong data, task gets delayed cuz we have to sort her shit, gets impatient, bitches at head of department and his boss about us taking long(bitch 3 hours ain't long and your shit ain't critical) just for me to reply back with images and LOOK FUCKTARD YOU MESS THIS UP red arrows showing how what she did was wrong and I had to fix it for her.
Sends a reply back only to me saying thanks, ah no pendeja, I will forward aaaaaaall of that shit to everyone else, tried throwing me under the bus? well now ima do it to you.
And fuck those 3 applications you requested, have fun adding shit manually through spreadsheets and then go eat shit and die.5 -
Last week I was erasing a 2Gb USB thumb while copying some really important shit to my backup disk. I look at the terminal and see it's taking a lot of time to did zeroes on dev/sdb.
Then I realized that dev/sdb is the backups drive and I just erased the firsts sectors of my only fucking backup.
It's ok, I said, let's see what can TestDisk do for me. And it only could find an empty sad partition that had useless shit on it. Whdd couldn't even find the drive. Cat and dd vomited 160Gb of nothing to a file that couldn't be read. I was lost, because I failed doing something I'm really good at. And I did it because I was to stupid to check fstab...
It's the very first time I couldn't recover data, so I'm thinking about delete "Data recovery" from my resume skills and put "Data cleaning. Really effective. I can send you 160Gb of pure horse shit to prove it" instead.2 -
Dealing with other technical professionals who cannot think outside their respective boxes.
Here is an example.
A QA (who is very good at her job) said this...
Her:
“We need to get one customer who is willing to pay us a lot of money to make the features they want!”
Me:
“But you realize we are a SaaS company and that means we need lots of customers and constant growth”
Her:
“No, we need to find a customer who is willing to pay us, like a million, to make the features they want. Then we make them for that customer. Then we do that again.”
Me:
“We sell software to small businesses, none of them have a million dollars to pay us, and even if they did then why wouldn’t they build it themselves?
Her:
“Well, when I worked for my last company this is what we did...”
Me:
“So you worked for a contracting company who built software for individual companies. We are not that type of company. We are a SaaS company.”
Her:
“It’s the same thing”
Me:
~Facepalm~
As a software developer and entrepreneur it frustrates me when everyone think everything is the same.
You’ll here things like...
“All we need is to get lucky with one big hit and then we will ride that wave to success, just like Facebook or Amazon!”
Holy fucking shit balls, how stupid can you be!
FB and AZ run thousands of tests a day to see what works. They do not get “lucky”. They dark launched FB messenger with thousands of messages and then rolled it out to their internal team first, they did not get lucky!
Honestly though, I can’t blame them. Most people just want a good job that pays. They aren’t looking to challenge their assumptions.
Personally I know I will be in situations again where my pride, my assumption, my fears are realized and crushed by the market place and I do not want to live in a world of willful ignorance.
I’d rather get it right than feel good.1 -
So I know most of you got some kind of hate for Facebook and Zuckerberg (aka Z U C C) now, but ffs, watching some of the highlights of this congress-thing that went on makes me more or less feel sympathy for him and his idea, even tho I know he wants to achieve exactly this.
Some of the questions asked can suck a big fucken data-dick. "How many Facebook Like-Buttons are there on Non-Facebook pages?", "How many data-categories do you gather?", "How do you sustain a business model and stay free?" - DUDE WHAT IN HEAVENS NAME?? And they ask that shit so serious and so "now-i'm-going-to-bust-you"-esk, but actually the question is just plain stupid and shows how the questioning side has no clue about the shit.
My point of view is that people decided to have an online life and have to take what it does. Having a smartphone with a Facebook service installed (owning an account or not) is enough to track your location, stored under your IMEI or some shit like that. They may not even go that far but that's just my opinion.
If you are online everything can see you and use you that way. Borders are a fictious thing. A dude in Czechia can easily shoot you when you're on the German side of the border between those two countries. And still we gave up on walls...:p
Welcome to a world which is ruled by dumbass people where nerds who just want to have some fun need to defend themselves because the people up there don't know a single shit.5 -
After a decade of working in the web development industry, I have given up all hope, it's the same fucking stupid ideas, the same retarded problems in every damned company . Monkeys discovering and reinventing the same fucking wheel over and over and over again. From a 5 man company to the unicorn scaleup (and everything between) I have had to implement access control systems, and various REST API's following the design made by mongrels who do it the first time . I have become to hate the work I once was so passionate about. Just fuck this shit , if anybody had told me when I was in my early 20's that this is what I end up doing I'd go and learn to be a carpenter instead.10
-
TL;DR: If you make a contest where people get to vote online fucking make it right!
And here's the story: I play in a local coverband to make some cash on the side and because I love making music. We entered a contest hosted by a local radio-station. The first round was determined by judges and now 5 bands remain and of those 5 only 3 get to be voted into the final round. In the final round every bands wins something: 3rd place 250€, 2nd place 750€ and first place 5000€.
Now that stupid dipshit of a web-designer of that radio-station made a website where you can vote and it only fucking sets a cookie. You can delete it and vote again. You don't need no E-Mail and nothing. It doesn't even block multiple votes from one IP. It doesn't do shit.
Even my bandmates (who don't work in IT) where smart enough to figure out that you can just delete the cookies...
I think that now every band except for one is cheating. (we have over 5000 votes and combined all bands have like 4000 FB-Likes and sometimes and Band gets like 400 more votes in an hour) This is such a fucking messup and I don't know what to do. Maybe they'll look into stats but if they're so stupid to make a contest like this in the first place, maybe they won't. And even if they look into the stats it wouldn't be fair to kick out a band with much votes because how the fuck would they know if the band themselves cheated or if it was a fan of the band or even an enemy of the band just to get them kicked out.
I'm afraid of talking to the radio-station as a part of one band because maybe the web-designer there just gets frustrated and bans us from the contest entirely.
This is just fucking frustrating.undefined to cheat or not to cheat contest do it right or don't do it at all delete cookies so pissed.5 -
Some of y'all post some retarded quotes man no lie.
"A programmer does not fix computers" ~Some Indian dude
Really??!!
Does that need to be made into a quote? And do you honestly believe something soooo mundane should be attributed to one person only?
"Drink a glass of water every morning, best way to start your day" ~ Alecx(read with Indian accent even though I am Mexican American)
"Sleeping in your own bed is always the best" ~ Alecx
See how stupid that shit is? Quoting shit that is sooooo fucking generic and that literally anyone can think off?
I dunno why it pisses me off soooo fucking much. Ffs. The same thing about "dev jokes" do you have any idea how fucking cringey that shit is? And half the fucking time y'all post that shit in some of the most broken ass English I've ever seen man wtf.
The quality of rants has been going down in spirals and with a dogon YEEEE HAW and darling trust this motherfucker....I know a lil something about yeee haws.....this is a prime example.
Look, people can rant and post whatever the fuck they want. I ain't gonna hold you back on it. Just know that a lot of us think you are a moron.
A cringey moron at that.25 -
!Rant
Story, only read this if you feel like wasting your time
Ok so I live in a small village and it takes around 15 minutes to get to the next city by car. I can't drive yet because I am 15 and so I would need my parents to drive me there. There are also no buses anymore which drive to the city after 2pm.
Most of my friends live in that city, none of them code. We always meet on a discord server and then play games or do some other shit. Today I got online at around 3pm and when I joined the discord server they asked me if I wanted to go see the movie 'IT' with them tonight, I said yeah of course (I am a huge fan of horror movies), but only if my parents come home early enough to drive me there.
Time passed and then my last friend left the discord server because he had to walk to the cinema.
I was the last one still on the server and also the one with the farest way to the cinema. I already knew that my parents wouldn't come home in time anymore and so I decided to just start coding something. I usually code while listening to some music and so I switched over to spotify to choose a playlist. I just randomly clicked on the first playlist spotify recommended me and the song started playing: 'Sound of silence'.
Fuck you spotify algorithm.
I know that not being able to go to the cinema with your friends is a fucking stupid reason to be sad but I just feel very sad right now. Sitting alone in my dark room staring at my computer screen.
Sorry for wasting your time18 -
So now I have to pay taxes because I'm employed. Fair enough, sounds reasonable.
Go to the government's diseased scrotum of a webapp to tramit some ID stuff and shit. All good. Then I go to the bank, so I can open an account, so that I can receive the money, so that I can pay the government.
What happens? The guy at the bank tells me he can't access my ID, so he can't open my account. Understandable. I go once again to the gonorrhea infected maggotsoup that is the government's mother fucking webapp. THEY BLOCKED MY ID.
Problem? I had to attach images of some documentation, they say the images are illegible. I try again with a clearer image, ten fucking times the resoulution.
Is that good enough? NOOOOOOOOOO0=00=======0===000 oo O O OO O O, I am the government, my sole purpose in life is to be a dick in your asshole.
So what do I do? I, calmly, grab the documentation, go to the nearest office, and politely explain the situation to the dude behind the counter. Surely, he can verify himself that my papers are in order, no?
NO. HE CANNOT.
IT CAN ONLY BE DONE THROUGH THE APP.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME.
WE ARE DOOMED AS A SPECIES.
LISTEN TO ME, DEAR GOVERNMENT.
AND DEAR TAXMEN.
AND ASSOCIATED BUREAUCRATS.
PLEASE HEAR ME OUT.
IF YOU DON'T UNBLOCK MY ID, I CANNOT OPEN A BANK ACCOUNT.
IF I DO NOT HAVE A BANK ACCOUNT, I CANNOT RECEIVE ANY MONEY.
IF I CANNOT RECEIVE ANY MONEY, THEN I CANNOT PAY **YOU**.
SEE HOW THAT WORKS?
ITS OK.
JUST SUSPEND THE PAYMENT I OWE.
YOU KNOW, THE ONE THAT'S DUE IN A FEW DAYS??
OH RIGHT!
YOU'RE STILL ASKING ME FOR THAT MONEY.
SILLY ME.
I THOUGHT I MAY BE EXEMPT.
SINCE YOU YOURSELF HAVE FORBIDDEN ME FROM PAYING.
ARRHGHHGGHGHGHGHGH!!!!!!!!
YOU IRREDEEMABLY STUPID FUCK.15 -
Am I the only one?
Do {
I want to know EVERY FUCKN SKILL A DEV CAN POSSIBLYHAVE, but I want to know it all NOW..
googling 30 times for tutorials and posts about a topic,
opening 30 tabs,
then spending around 30 seconds on each one ...
Trying 1-2 tutorials,
not understanding why I dont get this shit...
this is stupid
loosing interest in 3..2..1...
Aaand let's try and learn this new skill..
} while(true)
Welp5 -
What.. the actual... fuuuuuck?!
Browsing through changes on TFS (yeah, yeah boo me for using TFS instead of git if you like, I don't care, most people use/prefer TFS here, so I conform 'to the standards'..)
Anyhow, going through changes, looking for the one where some comment appeared..
'a wild comment appeared'.. tadaaah!
Checked the rest of changes.. Hm.. Someone did a validity check.. that returns the 'false' if not passed.
// OK, great! They are finally testing their shit and fixing stuff..
But apparently then they decided it is OK to do all the shit anyways.. so WTF?!
Why even bother validating it?! Oh yeah, forgot... cuz in case it returned false YOU WERE NOT SUPPOSED TO LET SOME STUFF HAPPEN!! But they weren't assigned with that exact task I guess..
TO DO:
- do the validation algo // fml, not going into how fucked up that was written..but it was horrible!
- do validity check where appropriate/needed
- test validity check and that it doesn't break functionality
+ check if the validation actually logically works?! nope, not on my to do list, not my job..
All done, better not actually do something that requires you to think.. :\
How the fuck that happened?! How can one person be assigned to check if something is stupid/wrong?! and when checking (&confirming) still lets the customer do that shit anyways?! What's the point?! O.O13 -
"four million dollars"
TL;DR. Seriously, It's way too long.
That's all the management really cares about, apparently.
It all started when there were heated, war faced discussions with a major client this weekend (coonts, I tell ye) and it was decided that a stupid, out of context customisation POC had that was hacked together by the "customisation and delivery " (they know to do neither) team needed to be merged with the product (a hot, lumpy cluster fuck, made in a technology so old that even the great creators (namely Goo-fucking-gle) decided that it was their worst mistake ever and stopped supporting it (or even considering its existence at this point)).
Today morning, I my manager calls me and announces that I'm the lucky fuck who gets to do this shit.
Now being the defacto got admin to our team (after the last lead left, I was the only one with adequate experience), I suggested to my manager "boss, here's a light bulb. Why don't we just create a new branch for the fuckers and ask them to merge their shite with our shite and then all we'll have to do it build the mixed up shite to create an even smellier pile of shite and feed it to the customer".
"I agree with you mahaDev (when haven't you said that, coont), but the thing is <insert random manger talk here> so we're the ones who'll have to do it (again, when haven't you said that, coont)"
I said fine. Send me the details. He forwarded me a mail, which contained context not amounting to half a syllable of the word "context". I pinged the guy who developed the hack. He gave me nothing but a link to his code repo. I said give me details. He simply said "I've sent the repo details, what else do you require?"
1st motherfucker.
Dafuq? Dude, gimme some spice. Dafuq you done? Dafuq libraries you used? Dafuq APIs you used? Where Dafuq did you get this old ass checkout on which you've made these changes? AND DAFUQ IS THIS TOOL SUPPOSED TO DO AND HOW DOES IT AFFECT MY PRODUCT?
Anyway, since I didn't get a lot of info, I set about trying to just merge the code blindly and fix all conflicts, assuming that no new libraries/APIs have been used and the code is compatible with our master code base.
Enter delivery head. 2nd motherfucker.
This coont neither has technical knowledge nor the common sense to ask someone who knows his shit to help out with the technical stuff.
I find out that this was the half assed moron who agreed to a 3 day timeline (and our build takes around 13 hours to complete, end to end). Because fuck testing. They validated the their tool, we've tested our product. There's no way it can fail when we make a hybrid cocktail that will make the elephants foot look like a frikkin mojito!
Anywho, he comes by every half-mother fucking-hour and asks whether the build has been triggered.
Bitch. I have no clue what is going on and your people apparently don't have the time to give a fuck. How in the world do you expect me to finish this in 5 minutes?
Anyway, after I compile for the first time after merging, I see enough compilations to last a frikkin life time. I kid you not, I scrolled for a complete minute before reaching the last one.
Again, my assumption was that there are no library or dependency changes, neither did I know the fact that the dude implemented using completely different libraries altogether in some places.
Now I know it's my fault for not checking myself, but I was already having a bad day.
I then proceeded to have a little tantrum. In the middle of the floor, because I DIDN'T HAVE A CLUE WHAT CHANGES WERE MADE AND NOBODY CARED ENOUGH TO GIVE A FUCKING FUCK ABOUT THE DAMN FUCK.
Lo and behold, everyone's at my service now. I get all things clarified, takes around an hour and a half of my time (could have been done in 20 minutes had someone given me the complete info) to find out all I need to know and proceed to remove all compilation problems.
Hurrah. In my frustration, I forgot to push some changes, and because of some weird shit in our build framework, the build failed in Jenkins. Multiple times. Even though the exact same code was working on my local setup (cliche, I know).
In any case, it was sometime during sorting out this mess did I come to know that the reason why the 2nd motherfucker accepted the 3 day deadline was because the total bill being slapped to the customer is four fucking million USD.
Greed. Wow. The fucker just sacrificed everyone's day and night (his team and the next) for 4mil. And my manager and director agreed. Four fucking million dollars. I don't get to see a penny of it, I work for peanut shells, for 15 hours, you'll get bonuses and commissions, the fucking junior Dev earns more than me, but my manager says I'm the MVP of the team, all I get is a thanks and a bad rating for this hike cycle.
4mil usd, I learnt today, is enough to make you lick the smelly, hairy balls of a Neanderthal even though the money isn't truly yours.4 -
Story time
I really love helping and teaching others about code. Recently I had a friend that wanted to get into web development. Being me, I told him that i would teach him all he wants but that he needs to do some research first to show me that he feels comfortable with as a minimum requirement. I told him to research the minimum technologies required to build a web page and to tell me about the request response cycle and stuff like that. When he came back I was expecting small explanations such as "html stands for bla bla and is used for bla bla".No. this dude comes back all proud to tell me about flipping Laravel. I sit there quietly listening to him go on about the "Laravel programming language". He likes anime, I like kendo (and have trained in it) so while he is talking I slowly move us into the part of my office where I keep my boken (wodden sword). As soon as he sees me sitting down with the sword he asks what am i doing with it.
"Well, remember when in some anime that you like you see teachers beating their studets over stupid shit?"
"What?"
..."WHAT DOES HTTP STANDS FOR?"
"The...the err the web language that.. er"
BOINK
"what is javascript?"
"Like the updates thing?"
HARDER BOINK
:) guarantee he wont forget what http is after that and what js and Laravel are from now on :) needless to say he will continue learning with much more care.
Coding dojo for real mofockas, ya dig?3 -
There has probably not been any situation when I would feel more stupid than now.
I just did a refresh of windows. It means quite a lot of work, as I need to do all the WSL related config and so on.
And I did it because I'm an extremely smart man and I didn't check that my primary screen was turned off.
I WONDER WHY I COULDN'T SEE SHIT1 -
I fucking hate my boss so much
He looks down on me like I’m some idiot who doesn’t know his shit.
The other day he was trying to explain OAuth2.0 to me in the most dumbed down way ever, even after telling him I do already know how OAuth 2.0 works. He just said “oh well just making sure” and continued explaining it to me the exact same way. Felt shitty having something explained to you which you already know in such a way in front of all of your coworkers
Whenever I give my thoughts on something he answers with an argument that’s essentially true but pretty stupid:
B: “We don’t need to bundle our JS files” (see my other rant)
M: “Our load time is around 15 seconds though and it takes forever to update our script tags”
B: “Yes but it’s only 15 seconds once and the tags are already there so it’s fine”
How do you reply to something like that??
On top of that, his code is absolutely awful, always looks hacked together, lacks documentation and i don’t think he has written a unit test in his life
I don’t even like frontend, was told I would mostly do backend and it seems like all I’m doing recently is write fucking javascript because even if I wanted to write backend code, it’s nearly impossible to write clean code in this pile of horseshit codebase7 -
I AM TIRED
warning: this rant is going to be full of negativity , CAPS, and cursing.
People always think and they always write that programming is an analytical profession. IF YOU CANNOT THINK IN AN ANALYTICAL WAY THIS JOB IS NOT FOR YOU! But the reality could not be farther from the truth.
A LOT of people in this field whether they're technical people or otherwise, just lack any kind of reasoning or "ANALYTICAL" thinking skills. If anything, a lot of of them are delusional and/or they just care about looking COOL. "Because programming is like getting paid to solve puzzles" *insert stupid retarded laugh here*.
A lot of devs out there just read a book or two and read a Medium article by another wannabe, now think they're hot shit. They know what they're doing. They're the gods of "clean" and "modular" design and all companies should be in AWE of their skills paralleled only by those of deities!
Everyone out there and their Neanderthal ancestor from start-up founders to developers think they're the next Google/Amazon/Facebook/*insert fancy shitty tech company*.
Founder? THEY WANT TO MOVE FAST AND GET TO MARKET FAST WITH STUPID DEADLINES! even if it's not necessary. Why? BECAUSE YOU INFERIOR DEVELOPER HAVE NOT READ THE STUPID HOT PILE OF GARBAGE I READ ONLINE BY THE POEPLE I BLINDLY COPY! "IF YOU'RE NOT EMBARRASSED BY THE FIRST VERSION OF YOU APP, YOU DID SOMETHING WRONG" - someone at Amazon.
Well you delusional brainless piece of stupidity, YOU ARE NOT AMAZON. THE FIRST VERSION THAT THIS AMAZON FOUNDER IS EMBARRASSED ABOUT IS WHAT YOU JERK OFF TO AT NIGHT! IT IS WHAT YOU DREAM ABOUT HAVING!
And oh let's not forget the tech stacks that make absolutely no fucking sense and are just a pile of glue and abstraction levels on top of abstraction levels that are being used everywhere. Why? BECAUSE GOOGLE DOES IT THAT WAY DUH!! And when Google (or any other fancy shit company) changes it, the old shitty tech stack that by some miracle you got to work and everyone is writing in, is now all of a sudden OBSOLETE! IT IS OLD. NO ONE IS WRITING SHIT IN THAT ANYMORE!
And oh my god do I get a PTSD every time I hear a stupid fucker saying shit like "clean architecture" "clean shit" "best practice". Because I have yet to see someone whose sentences HAVE TO HAVE one of these words in them, that actually writes anything decent. They say this shit because of some garbage article they read online and in reality when you look at their code it is hot heap of horseshit after eating something rancid. NOTHING IS CLEAN ABOUT IT. NOTHING IS DONE RIGHT. AND OH GOD IF THAT PERSON WAS YOUR TECH MANAGER AND YOU HAVE TO LISTEN TO THEM RUNNING THEIR SHITHOLE ABOUT HOW YOUR SIMPLE CODE IS "NOT CLEAN". And when you think that there might be a valid reason to why they're doing things that way, you get an answer of someone in an interview who's been asked about something they don't know, but they're trying to BS their way to sounding smart and knowledgable. 0 logic 0 reason 0 brain.
Let me give you a couple of examples from my unfortunate encounters in the land of the delusional.
I was working at this start up which is fairly successful and there was this guy responsible for developing the front-end of their website using ReactJS and they're using Redux (WHOSE SOLE PURPOSE IS TO ELIMINATE PASSING ATTRIBUTES FOR THE PURPOSE OF PASSING THEM DOWN THE COMPONENT HIERARCHY AGIAN). This guy kept ranting about their quality and their shit every single time we had a conversation about the code while I was getting to know everything. Also keep in mind he was the one who decided to use Redux. Low and behold there was this component which has THIRTY MOTHERFUCKING SEVEN PROPERTIES WHOSE SOLE PURPOSE IS BE PASSED DOWN AGAIN LIKE 3 TO 4 TIMES!.
This stupid shit kept telling me to write code in a "functional" style. AND ALL HE KNOWS ABOUT FUNCTIONAL PROGRAMMING IS USING MAP, FILTER, REDUCE! And says shit like "WE DONT NEED UNIT TESTS BECAUSE FUNCTIONAL PROGRAMMING HAS NO ERRORS!" Later on I found that he read a book about functional programming in JS and now he fucking thinks he knows what functional programming is! Oh I forgot to mention that the body of his "maps" is like 70 fucking lines of code!
Another fin-tech company I worked at had a quote from Machiavelli's The Prince on EACH FUCKING DESK:
"There is nothing more difficult to take in hand, more perilous to conduct, or more uncertain in its success, than to take the lead in the introduction of a new order of things."
MOTHERFUCKER! NEW ORDER OF THINGS? THERE 10 OTHER COMPANIES DOING THE SAME SHIT ALREADY!
And the one that got on my nerves as a space lover. Is a quote from Kennedy's speech about going to the moon in the 60s "We choose to go to the moon and do the hard things ..."
YOU FUCKING DELUSIONAL CUNT! YOU THINK BUILDING YOUR SHITTY COPY PASTED START UP IS COMPARABLE TO GOING TO THE MOON IN THE 60S?
I am just tired of all those fuckers.13 -
When i worked for a large, international bank (whose name rhymes with shitty), I always had to use the following formula to estimate projects.
1. Take estimate of actual work
2. Multiply by 2 to cover project manager status reports
3. Multiply by 4 to cover time spent in useless meetings.
4. Multiply by 2 to cover user support and bug fix tasks.
5. Multiply by 2 to cover my team lead tasks.
6. Multiply by 3 to cover useless paperwork and obtaining idiotic necessary approvals to do anything
7. Finally, multiply by 3.14159 to cover all the other stupid shit that the idiots that run that company come up with.
It's only a slight exaggeration. Tasks that required less than a day of actual coding would routinely require two weeks to accomplish and get implemented.6 -
Here's one that involves Windows, Linux (at the same time!), WInZip, Python, Lua and Minecraft, sort of.
So, when I get depressed I often find that old 2011 Minecraft videos help a lot from the nostalgia boost. If its stupid, but it works, it isn't stupid. Anyways, I was thinking about how much fun it must have been to just fuck around with code and make something like Minecraft. Naturally, I got a huge code boner and really wanted to do something I hadn't in a while: binding c to a higher level language.
This time around, I wanted to try Python. C + Python seems like a good pair. I watched a tutorial and it seemed pretty interesting and simple enough but I remembered that I actually like Lua a lot better than Python, so I went to the download page of Lua.
The download is a tar.gz so I let out a sigh and start typing "WinZip" into google. But no, fuck that, I hate 3rd party decompression programs on Windows. They all just give me this eerie feeling.
"This would be so much fucking easier on Linux"...
I remember that I haven't tried the Windows Subsystem for Linux. I guess it's time, isn't it?
I read the docs of how to do it. Nice little touch, they tell you how to enable WSL from PowerShell but don't mention the GUI way to do it. It's genuinely a nice touch.
So I get everything installed and go to the app store to choose a distro. I want Ubuntu. I click the Install button...
...
... "Something unexpected happened"
Windows and their fucking useless error messages. Jesus, okay. I restart computer. Same issue. I update Windows. Same thing. Uninstall WSL. Reboot. Install WSL. Reboot. Same thing. HOLY SHIT.
Went to bed. Woke up. Tried to install Ubuntu.
"Yea ok lul i'll work this time for no reason"
Finally unzipped Lua.4 -
Oh look, you aren't doing shit. You have 2 weeks worth of testing to complete and you are checking out stories on the Yahoo front page.
Useless. Completely incompetent. Idiot. Imbecile. Moron. Stupid. How dense? Let me count the ways...
Do you know anything?! You use big words to sound important and look like you know your shit. In reality, you have no clue!
How you have managed to capture this job is baffling to me. It shows there is much work to be done to filter out toxic, incompetent people like you. Otherwise, the industry will be plagued with a terrible fear of sub-par employees.
Your lack of common decency for the office space is appalling. Your attitude and "can do no wrong" personality is disgusting. And the cherry on top? It is impossible for you to admit mistakes and take ownership for your actions. You can be inexperienced, stressed out, or even make a mistake once in a while. Yet, the moment you DO fuck up and act like nothing was your fault, that most of it was MY fault, or the TEST environment's fault, or the other team's fault, a lack of resources, a lack of time, ANYTHING but your own damn incompetence, you are dead to me.
You are, by far, the worst co-worker I have ever had.7 -
You stupid lousy price of potato shit windows, yes that’s right - this pissed of windows user is pissed the fuck right off.
Here I am letting you sit there idling along and then I press the start button, you know that fucking button I press regularly for fucking years, only for you to go “fuck you, I’m going to blue screen instead” like what the flying fuck? There hasn’t been any updates in a while that I’ve noticed but this shit is just a shit.
So what ever, let’s reboot this mother fucker, oh wait now you can’t fucking boot, I can hear the hdd spinning a million miles an hour (coz non ssd) but noooo your just going to sit there like a dumb ass prick who doesn’t know what the fuck your doing.
So fine, let’s pull out that old USB with w10 on it and do a MBR repair... (coz nothing else will fucking work in your shit list of options) ok so apparently an MBR repair gets you booting.. but wait there’s more, now you useless piece of shit are going to run a scan disk which has sat at 0% for the past 20 minutes and I don’t think I’m ever going to see that fucker move, I get it you want to do something useful, but Fucking Do it already!
Like wtf, how does a stable system just decide to shit itself.
Oh and before you say it.. no I can’t install Linux on this piece of shit, see my previous rants for that problem.rant i’m done that’s not how it works w10 os as a service i need a new laptop hunk of shit go fuck your self6 -
Not really a rant, but here goes...
I want to personally thank each and every member of devRant! Here’s why. (First, a little boring backstory): I’m visually impaired, and stuck in quarantine like the rest of us. (Not totally blind, but y’all definitely DO NOT want me out on the roads driving,) I also work a Tech Support job which largely deals with macOS. Due to this eye condition, there simply isn’t a lot of shit to do while stuck in the house other than work and learn node.js. So my pastime has largely been to sit and read Facebook while not on the clock. One day, while working from home, I was so bored and pissed off, I googled “macOS fucking sucks” for fun, and found devRant! Your stories, jokes and rants have turned my life around! I’m no longer on Facebook. (I know, I know, but what’s a half-blind guy to do except read about COVID-19 and get more pissed off at the state of the world?) and you guys have inspired me to start learning new things and delve deeper into node, which I had put down for awhile (I’m at a kindergarten level anyway, brand new). Anyway, thanks again! I’ll refrain from asking stupid questions, I promise. But I need a TechSupportRant now...6 -
"Impossible deadline experience?"
When product owners promise delivery dates.
One day, I came back from a two weeks holiday, relaxed. I noticed a teammate missing. "Yes, he took the week off". Sure, why not.
We were working under a bastardized enterprisey version of Scrum (didn't we all at some point?). So we didn't just have a product owner, we had three and an additional "Head of PO". Because enterprises can't live without hierarchies or something. Barely an hour after I came into office, she entered the room and came straight to me. "Your coworker was almost done implementing feature X. You need to finish it immediately. No worries, though, coworker said the rest is a piece of cake".
It wasn't. There was *a lot* left to do, the JIRA task wasn't entirely clear, and the existing code for the feature was so-so (obviously WIP code). I estimated two weeks for the implementation, plus some time to clarify the requirements. When telling "Head of PO" she lost her shit. Screaming things like "this feature is due the end of this week" and "I signed this with my blood!". Well, I didn't, and I made it clear that I hadn't been consulted on this, thus I would not accept any blame in case we missed the deadline.
So I gave my best that week, getting pestered by "Head of PO" all the time. "Is it done yet?", "why does it take so long?" and "your coworker would've been done by now!". Yeah fuck you, too. Not only was I not relaxed any more, I was even more stressed than before my holiday! Thanks, you stupid bitch.
Well, her arbitrary deadline came and the feature wasn't ready. And what happened was... exactly nothing. The following week my coworker returned, who gave me an apologetic smile. "I told her the feature was nowhere finished. And even me, being familiar with the task, couldn't make it in time". We finished the feature together that week, and that was the end of it. So... "Head of PO" either didn't listen or lied to me. She then stressed me to the max right from the day I came back from my holiday. And in the end it didn't even matter.
Again, thanks you stupid bitch, for creating a toxic work environment. Should you ever read this, I'm happy I quit and I hope you miss every single deadline for the rest of your life. Screw you.8 -
A people person is only a people person to another people person. I fucking hate them. Most sales people I see don’t really have any skills per say. They think they do by claiming to be a people person. The entire sales community is like this. Fake as shit. They pay thousands to learn something that has been written in Medium or you could just Youtube. I think I can pretty much get the fact if you wanna make a video do well, you need a good title. They speak everything on the surface. And they claim to a be a layperson. Well, no. Fuck you. I not giving you an average. You are stupid as shit. They can’t write a proper fucking email. I have to go through kubernates and monads and they still make more money than devs via commission. They are too sober and fucking pretentious too. Fuck em fuck em fuck em.3
-
We've all had shitty jobs at one point or another, maybe some of us already had software engineering experience while having to work in a different field for a variety of reasons.
Well check this shit.
At one point(during my second year of school) for various reasons I had to work in retail. For those that know, retail can be a soul crushing experience...the trick is not letting management to convince you that it is an actual good job, it is not, and I have respect and sympathy for everyone currently working in it. The mind numbing retarded customers that we get are absolutely fantastic in every sense of the word.
My position in retail was as a phone salesman, for MetroPCS (which for all of y'all european ninjas is one of the low end phone carriers here in the U.S) and the people that we get as customers where I live are normally very poor which apparently in Mexican culture stands for annoyingly ignorant (I am Mexican myself, so I can really vouch for this shit)
One day a customer came in telling me that there was an app that he was using that kept giving him troubles, it was a map application for truck drivers. Now, obviously, this had nothing to do with my line of work(phone salesman) and as such I normally tried to explain that and let them be, but I imagined that it was a settings issue so I reluctantly agreed to help him. I explained to him that the app was no longer maintained and that the reason for it was probably that the developer abandoned it and that he would just have to look into the app, upon closer inspection the app itself was nothing more than a wrapper over google maps with trucker icons and a "trucker" interface, he was using the app as a GPS navigator and he could as well just have been using google maps.
The conversation was like this:
Me: Well this app is no longer supported, it will probably be taken off the google store soon, you can look for something similar or just change to Google maps
Retard: What? no! I came here in order for you to fix it, Metro needs to fix their own apps!
Me (in complete disbelief): We have no control over third party apps, and even for the ones that we provide the store has no control over them. But this app is not ours and so we can't really do anything about it.
Retard: Well WTF should I do? I have been having many issues with youtube and spotify, shouldn't Metro fix their Google store?
Me: Those apps are not ours.....wait, you seem to believe that we own youtube and spotify, those are not ours
Retard: How the fuck they are not yours! its your phone isn't it?
Me: Eh no.....Metro does not(at this point I was sort of smiling because I wanted to laugh) own youtube or spotify or the play store or even this phone, metro does not own Android or Samsung(his phone was a samsung core prime)
Retard: Well You need to fix this
Me: No I do not and I can not, the developer for this app abandoned it and has nothing to do with us
Retard: Well call the developer and tell him to fix it
At this point I was on a very bad mode since this dude was being obnoxiously rude from the beginning and it annoyed me how he was asking for dumb shit.
Me: Did you pay for this app?
Retard: No
Me: So you expect that some developer out there will just go about and get working for something that you did not pay for?
Why don't you just use Google maps as your GPS?
Retard: Don't be stupid, Google has no maps
At this point I show him the screen where there is a lil app that said maps, pressed it and voila! map comes to life
Retard: Well....I did not know
Me: Yeah....but I am the stupid one right?
** throws phone for him to catch
Me: Have a good one bud.
And my manager was right next to me, he was just trying to control his laughter the whole time. I really despised working in there and was glad when I left. Retail man.......such a horrible fucking world.7 -
I know being hostile to new users is not ok.
But have you seen the shit new users post? Who wants to be part of a community of simple minded and unexperienced idiots?
New users do it all: awful english, strawman, meme reposts, and now, advertising.
I wished there was a "above certain karma" filter, so I could avoid the trash.
But there's not, so the only tool I have is telling them their arguments are stupid.
I don't mind someone BEING a beginner. But as such I would expect them stfu a bit.16 -
this was about office politics. for context, a lot of non tech people think they can borrow our time willy nilly and our boss agrees, so we're often pulled out of our tasks to do random shit.
these girls asked for my consultation on a simple problem, because another team wasn't fixing an issue for them and they said it wasn't possible. i said it was possible and simple to solve, i spoke to the other team, showed them how to do it and thought that was done. they kept asking me to produce proof that it was possible, excessively, like i had nothing to do.
that went on for a week, lots of back and forth, i was getting tired, so i told this girl fine, I'll do this stupid thing IF you send me an email making this a formal exchange, she says fine. the next day i find out they went after another guy in my team, who's much busier than i, and he stopped everything to coddle them.
i told him to be careful about that stuff, because he's setting himself up for this shit, he's making the rest of the team look bad and he's stopping his work to do something that was already done, because they couldn't bother to send an email. had a huge discussion about this, he was super condescending and overall, he was an asshole.
next time, I'll just send the girls his way9 -
One of the things I have no fucking patience for is bureaucracy. For the last year I've been working for a company I have no problem with, I like the place and I like the people here. Recently I was contacted by another company and offered a better salary to work for them. I was open about it with my boss and we both accorded that I will receive the same salary to stay (It was ok to me since I feel comfortable here), but in order to do that I'll have to sign a new contract. Ok, no big deal. Few days later a HR girl contacts me to send her all the documentation needed to elaborate a contract, and I was like 'You guys already have all my documents, been working here for a year'. But Ok, I tried not to be picky and just sent her everything again. Then she requests online psychometric tests, sends a shitload of formats to fill, like personal references, their company-custom resume format, privacy policies, and many more stupid and irrellevant paperwork nobody should need when a person has been working for you for a year and you want him to stay. I really tried to be patient and do everything the HR girl wanted me to do, but for one reason or other, she kept rejecting the formats I was sending (I had to download, print, sign, scan and resend many of them). We've been wrestling for an entire fucking week over this shit via email and she can't just write a new contract, make me sign it and leave me the fuck alone. The last thing she compained about was a stupid personal reference format I didnt scan with my signature on. This other company wants me to start next monday. I guess the next document I'll be sending her will be my resignation letter.2
-
So I’ve been working for this company for +4 years. When I started we were 6 dev. Now we are 1. It’s just me. Thankfully I’m leaving next week to start at another company. But right now I’m kinda loosing my mind. I have a deadline tomorrow and I’m super stressed because I’m not done. I have bugs to fix, documentation to write and all that stuff. I’m pissed off because people don’t understand what I do, why it takes time, why I want to be alone at home just coding instead of sitting at the office being interrupted with stupid ass questions about html or upcoming project. I don’t give a fuck about their clients or upcoming projects. I’m only working for them 7 more days and then they have 0 dev left. Fuck them. Fuck the CEO, fucking piece of shit. Can’t wait to flip them off leaving next week.12
-
I use a library and it gives me some strange error message. No problemo, just file an issue on GitHub asking the maintainer if I'm plain stupid or the lib actually has a flaw. As it was a question, I have not posted a dump and all the shit.
Maintainer responds with a snarky comment about his crystal ball being broken and I have to submit a log, a dump, debug information and a bunch of other stuff.
Well, what choice do I have, I collect all the requested information, create a wall of text comment, all nicely formatted.
And the issue ends here. Myths say, the maintainer got asked to join Elvis on Mars.
I mean, why do you ask all the shit from me in a unprofessional manner just to stop answering? Just say "I have no clue why it behaves like this" and I know whats playin. But that's just ... sad.5 -
I've got my new job less than a month ago. On this Monday i've got annoyed by the unhappy faces in the office and said to them, that i'll work from home. But instead I boarded a train from Zurich to Milan. Checked in to a really nice Milan coworking space called Login. And had some google hangouts meetings all while beeing anxious that some might get suspicious that I left the country. 😅8
-
I'm so sick of being forced to use CSS frameworks at work. Every time I see one of those HTML elements with 87 terribly-named CSS classes, I want to scream and break something
What's wrong with Vanilla CSS? Why is it so unpopular to just stick with plain CSS, I feel like I'm infinitely more productive when I can just write out some short CSS than trying to wrangle the dumbass CSS framework to do what I want it to do. Even things like Vuetify make me lose my mind with the stupid shit you have to do to get it to behave how you want it
Also, Material Design is ugly as hell to me16 -
I'm so fed up of this shitty ultra-ortodox industry
I've worked on many different projects, been in many different teams. It's an ever changing industry, but, surprisingly, it's so orthodox. Dev industry nowadays have some rules, that everybody adopts them as "best practices". You have to work on pull requests, and several of your teammates have to review your shit (as if they have nothing better to do).
I'm sick of people using fucking DTOs in shitty frameworks like Laravel. Using DTOs in Laravel is like putting mustard in a fucking chocolate cake.
I'm so fed up of SPAs and node.js. I've yet so see a single SPA that handles jwt tokens correctly. I'm tired of spending hours and hours, days and days, struggling with thousandls of layers of abstractions instead of being productive and getting the shit done.
Because end customers don't give a shit about your "best practices": They have a problem and you are getting paid for it to be solved, not for spending hours and hours struggling with stupid Javascript and its crazy async nature and their crappy libraries.
Damnit. I say. Now. I now feel better. Thanks for listening :)14 -
I fucking hate stupid accountants!
Yesterday we went to a customer to talk to the accountants because we want to remove one of their unused PC's in the office.
First, just the way they think (and talk if) they are the most important and it's absolutely critical everything works 100%. I see they are important but not 100 times more important than everybody else!
They called us their EDP-guys (EDV in German, that's the translation I found). That insulted me a bit. I'm rather called IT-guy, I don't know anything about the fucking EDP systems nor want I to. I'm there to make sure the hardware works. But whatever, fine, call me what you want.
Then they straight up threatened us, because their work is so important, they can't afford to have downtime in their systems. They don't really care, but the bosses of us both do and if we fuck up they (the bosses) will hold us responsible. There is a fucking update for your piece of shit software (datev)! I don't do the update, I'm just responsible that the update can be deployed on the hardware. I'm not responsible if this update fucks your system and frankly I don't care!
I could tell them all of this but they won't listen. They always talk in this patronising arrogant voice, because they are so important and we better don't fuck up the update.
I'm there to help. I don't want downtime for your systems. I want you to work with our systems the best you can.
But fuck you, I hope the server burns down!13 -
So someone decides that the employees need to do these stupid Web-based training's that not even high school kids should be looking into.
What is about ?
Security and Cryptography, and now event the real stuff.
What it covers?
Alice and Bob, Bob and Alice.
Alice wants Bob some pics/messages that she suspects someone else will see. DDDDDDAAAAAAAFFFFFFFAAAAAAAAAKKKKKK
A total of 7 useless time wasting interactive and annoying training's, 20+ min each.
But someone forgot that please do not send this shit to engineers of your company, specially Software/Network engineers. Oh another subset, specially not to those who work deeper into the domain.
I'm getting paid to do this time wasting activity, and still.
I also may come back and remove this BUT FOR NOW I NEED TO RANT.rant alice time_waste boolsheet web_training useless fake_security demotivators bob corporate_crap foo -
My day:
9 am: crack knuckles, ready to start day
9:01 am: oh, that PR I sent last week hasn't been reviewed yet and I need it in mainline. Better merge latest and get someone to look over it.
9:02 am: now the test suite is broken, better fix that up before getting it reviewed.
1 pm: phew, that was a slog. Now to get on with today actual programming
1:01 pm: "hey buddy, you coming to that tech leads strategy meeting?"
5 pm: Jesus what a meeting. Now maybe I can get a little code written. I'll just fast-forward to latest...
5:01 pm: WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERES A BAD MIGRATION AND EVERYONE SHOULD AVOID USING THE LATEST VERSION WHY DIDN'T YOU REVERT THAT SHIT DO I NEED TO COME OVER THERE AND RESTRICT YOUR STUPID WINDPIPE UNTIL YOU UNDERSTAND GIT *RAGE TABLEFLIP*2 -
OKAY
WHO THE FUCK DESIGNED THIS STUPID ANDROID EMULATOR.
ALL I WANT TO DO IS LISTEN TO MY MUSIC WHILE PROGRAMMING
BUT NOOOOOOO
WHENEVER THE FUCKING EMULATOR IS OPEN THE QUALITY OF THE MUSIC IN MY BLUETOOTH HEADPHONES GOES TO aBsOluTe SHIT.
CMON GUYS. GET YOUR HEADPHONES OUT OF YOUR ASS AND TEST YOUR FUCKING SOFTWARE12 -
So i just had an interesting conversation.
View source images in comments
So some background. I used to do a lot of Minecraft development and server configuration. And Minecraft being made of mostly 12-year-olds they really don't pay very well. So I moved on from Minecraft but someone reached out for me to do their configuration for their server. (this was about a month ago) and I quoted them 40/hr because that's what I charge for my web dev work. So he promptly declined and I thought that was that. But tonight he messaged me and found a 5 month old post saying how I was looking to do free development work in order to get experience. And here is how the converstion when.
(His name is "Candy")
Candy:
Lol
Trying to take advantage of me with your bullshit $40/hour claims
Which is outright laughable
https://mc-market.org/threads/...
”I am looking for a network to stay long-term with and help/see it grow into a bigger server. (I would expect pay later down the road if we work together on an ongoing basis)”
—
Quoting your MC-Market post.
What do you have to say for yourself? Trying to take advantage of people?
Going to say something else completely delusional or own up to the fact that you were trying to take advantage of me?
I already knew you were, but now I have the hard evidence.
As I am not a stupid person.
Not only did your friend lie, but you tried to take advantage of me, thinking I was stupid enough to fall for your $40/hour bullshit for basic configuration work. MineSaga charges $30.00 an hour on the high. Don’t even try to do the same shit you did to me to anyone else. It won’t work.
Me:I was interested in doing plugin development and learning so I offered my services for free so I could learn in a more real environment. I no longer do minecraft plugins rather I am a web developer and my rate is $40/hr I am good at configuration which is why i contacted you but I am not going to lower my rate because it is "simpler" work. Just like how you can higher a prostitute to wash your car but it would be cheaper to get the kid from around the block to do it. Also not sure what your end goal is here. I gave you my rate and you didn't agree with it. So you should just move on. Plus this is the minecraft world let me know when you get to the real world so you you can pay in big boy money.
Candy:
So your configuration work for minecraft is $40/h as well?
Lol
Absolutely hilarious.
Me:
did you not read my message?
"I am not going to lower my rate because it is "simpler" work."
Candy:
Who were your most recent clients?
Me:
i'm not going to give you that information
Candy:
Because you know you are lying to me with your crazy rates, and if you aren't, that means you have near to no clients.
Yet another lie.
Me:
keep telling yourself that buddy
Candy:
Lol
Good luck getting any more clients.
rip
Me:
?
I get more clients all the time
They just are not in your realm of your minecraft imagination where you can pay a developer 20$/hr
Candy:
I just strongly disagree with the fact that you are charging $40/hour for configurative work
xD
Me:
Okay
But why even contact me? Did you really think trying to "Call me out" was going to have me lower my rates or something.
Just get over it
Candy:
I haven't called you out and overcharging like that to others in the minecraft realm for a significant gain in money for work that is not worth nearly that amount is absolutely delusional.
I would recommend you stop making up false assumptions
Me: What ever you say
I left it at that. There was some more stuff but it was not that interesting so i left it out5 -
Angular is still a pile of steaming donkey shit in 2023 and whoever thinks the opposite is either a damn js hipster (you know, those types that put js in everything they do and that run like a fly on a lot of turds form one js framework to the next saying "hey you tried this cool framework, this will solve everything" everytime), or you don't understand anything about software developement.
I am a 14 year developer so don't even try to tell me you don't understand this so you complain.
I build every fucking thing imaginable. from firmware interfaces for high level languaces from C++, to RFID low level reading code, to full blown business level web apps (yes, unluckily even with js, and yes, even with Angular up to Angular15, Vue, React etc etc), barcode scanning and windows ce embedded systems, every flavour of sql and documental db, vectorial db code, tech assistance and help desk on every OS, every kind of .NET/C# flavour (Xamarin, CE, WPF, Net framework, net core, .NET 5-8 etc etc) and many more
Everytime, since I've put my hands on angularJs, up from angular 2, angular 8, and now angular 15 (the only 3 version I've touched) I'm always baffled on how bad and stupid that dumpster fire shit excuse of a framework is.
They added observables everywhere to look cool and it's not necessary.
They care about making it look "hey we use observables, we are coo, up to date and reactive!!11!!1!" and they can't even fix their shit with the change detection mechanism, a notorious shitty patchwork of bugs since earlier angular version.
They literally built a whole ecosystem of shitty hacks around it to make it work and it's 100x times complex than anything else comparable around. except maybe for vanilla js (fucking js).
I don't event want todig in in the shit pool that is their whole ecosystem of tooling (webpack, npm, ng-something, angular.json, package.json), they are just too ridiculous to even be mentioned.
Countless time I dwelled the humongous mazes of those unstable, unrealiable shitty files/tools that give more troubles than those that solve.
I am here again, building the nth business critical web portal in angular 16 (latest sack of purtrid shit they put out) and like Pink Floyd says "What we found, same old fears".
Nothing changed, it's the same unintelligible product of the mind of a total dumbass.
Fuck off js, I will not find peace until Brendan Eich dies of some agonizing illness or by my hands
I don't write many rants but this, I've been keeping it inside my chest for too long.
I fucking hate js and I want to open the head of js creator like the doom marine on berserk19 -
Couple of jobs back we got bought out by that massive shipping company with the red and yellow colors.
We used macs and some high up moron decided it was a good idea to put on domain policy restrictions on our macs, but developers can't work without admin access so if we wanted to keep said admin access, we had to sign a written agreement indicating that we were not allowed to do certain thing, like change our wallpaper or install personal music players, you know like Spotify, which at the time was what most of us used.
Now this was just a nice cherry on the cake of stupid descision that was making me rethink working there. Thanks to the high demand for skilled front ends, it was 11 am when we got this, 3pm I had comnfirmed my interview for the next day.
An hour later our manager called us all in to explain this was BS formalities. Well too fucking late, learn to communicate you dumb shit.1 -
my staff got selected to go do something RETARDED on site when all restrictions on the city have been lifted and the fucking numbers of covid-19 cases have been rising, last week 4 people fucking DIED and they wanted to put my guys for some RETARDED SHIT THAT can be completely ignored in which they would deal with countless of RETARDS that as I know will probably be ignoring all safety precautions and getting everyone fucking SICK.
I don't give a fuck, my employees are high risk personell, if they get sick they might fucking die, I said no to fucking everyone and had the head of my department to back me up. Fuck this shit man I am so tired of this pandemic since it had made everyone 10 billion percent-o more retarded than they already were.
If the head of department ignores it I will instruct my people to just ignore that shit and don't make themselves present at that bullshit ass fucking event.
See what the fuck they do. I treat my employees as if they were my soldiers, I know what leadership is and they are not making me fucking budge, if your command is bullshit i will fucking say no and you can go ahead and do whatever the fuck you want with that shit, just based on my title and experience I can go where the fuck I want and you will eat dick.
Luckily for me the HOD is on the same boat, he thinks this shit is fucking stupid.4 -
*flashback to days of windows xp*
Just finished formatting and installing xp on friend's trash pc cuz the os was compromised due to a shitload of viruses. Notice that other partitions might still be infected and i don't have an antivirus on me.
"Big boi Ill be back in an hour, just whatever you do, don't open ANY drives no matter how urgent it is. Just Don't do it or i won't be able to help you"
Come back and VIOLA this worthless trash avocado opened a drive to play a game and d pc was infected. Again. Back to square one. It almost broke my heart. Almost.
I remember that day well. I was 15yo and hopeful. That day marks d start of my hatred toward tech incompetent people.
SO FKIN
A N G E R Y
So today
College
My classmates stink of incompetence. I'm not that smart in fact i consider myself to be a noob among devs but seeing ppl that are several order of magnitudes trashier than me breaks my heart and makes me soo Fkin
A N G E R Y
Hey you cunt of a skunk, WHY can't you even compile a fkin cpp file without an IDE what the fuck is wrong with you? What do u mean ur program isn't compiling? Well it literally says there syntax error on line 15 congrats u moron u fkin spelled else as esle. Why shud I waste my time on stupid Shitty ppl like u huh?
And waddup mr shithead.No. Not gonna help you partition ur drives and install a fkin linux just cuz ur too lazy to google it urself.
And if i refuse to help cuz im working on my shit then I AM D BAD GUY? Stop bitching about me u lazy bastards get ur lazy arse off and read the fkin book. Watch a tutorial or sm shit why the fuck can't u understand YOU LITERALLY PAY TO COME HERE AND YOU AREN'T EVEN TRYING TO LEARN THE BASICS GOOD LUCK GETTING A JOB YOU WORTHLESS CUNTS.
Now now all the poison is out i can finally focus on improving myself and stop giving a fuck about them. Its hard to be calm and cool when ur surrounded by ppl like this all day. Even harder when there is almost noone that you can look upto. All this time, there's only one thing I've learnt- in a place like dis, being an asshole is better dan being polite.3 -
Everything about the company is a mess. The only thing that is decent is the people. And by that I mean they aren't shit.
Workflows are fucked.
Clients are fucked. You're pressuring me to get this shit production ready before new year's eve and you still don't know what the text should say and want to make changes to the UI? The fuck?!
Design is a complete shit show. There is a design team. They only make a fucking psd to show clients how an interface would look like. No mobile version (but it's still expected to work!), no markup. Resolution is fucking inconsistent and whenever a change is requested, they are nowhere to be seen so I have to actually do designing on top of having to use this worthless fucking framework I hate it so much.
Codebases are turbo-fucked because of said framework.
Databases are an inconsistent, fucked up mess. No foreign key constraints because every single fucking table is using the MyISAM engine.
And the thing that really makes me incredibly angry is all the "custom systems" look the fucking same at the database level. Like 30 fucking useless tables made for stupid HR workflows that make no fucking sense.1 -
Sorry to keep whining about my stupid fucking job, but y'all, I think I'm nearing my limit.
There's some good...I am pretty much free to resolve issues any way I want to, as the only other person in the company who "codes" only knows one old ass language that doesn't apply to 90% of the rest of the tech stack at all, and some SQL - all of that to say, we may disagree, but ultimately, these matters are always deferred to me at the end of the day, insofar as the actual implementation goes (which is to say I am not micromanaged). At least as far as non-visuals are concerned, because those of course, are the most important things. Button colors and shit, woo hoo**. That's what we should focus on as we're bringing in potentially millions of dollars per month - the god damn button color and collapsible accordions based on data type over the shit ass DB performance bottleneck, the lack of redundancy or backups (aside from the one I made soon after I started -- literally saved everyone today because of that. My thanks? None, and more bullshit tasks) or the 300GB+ spaghetti code nightmare that is the literal circulatory system of the FUCKING COMPANY. Hundreds of people depend on it for their livelihoods, and those of their families, but fuck me in the face, right? I'm just a god damn nerd who has worked for the federal government, a handful of fortune 500's, a couple of fortune 100's, some startups, etc. But the fuck do I know about the lifecycle of companies?
I could continue ranting, but what's the point? I've got a nice little adage that I've started to live by, and y'all might appreciate it: "If everything is a priority/is important, nothing is". These folks just don't fucking get it. I'm torn because, on the one hand, they waste my time and kinda underpay me, in addition to forcing me to be onsite for 50 hours a week. They don't listen to me, couldn't give a flying shit about my experientially based opinions. I'm just a fucking chimp with a typewriter, there to take commands like a fucking waiter. But there's a lot of job security, assuming I don't fucking snap one day, and the job market for devs (I'm sure I don't need to tell you) is hostile atm. I'm also drinking far more than usual, and I really need to do something about that. It's only wednesday - I think...not 100% on that truth be told, and I logged my fourth trip to the liquor store this week already.
**Dear backenders - don't ever learn front end, or if you do, just lie about it to avoid being designated full stack. It's not worth it.5 -
In only I were 1.15 times faster or had better planning (why didn’t I use the Saturday Sunday at the end of the first week 🤦🏼♂️), things would’ve happened differently. I think I’m becoming stupid and my tolerance levels are going down too.
So this happened a while back ..
I was given a code base which didn’t have any changes in the last two years and I was asked to add a feature to this. This was my first task in this new group I was part of. I had two weeks to do this starting on a Monday.
Partway through implementation I realised that the code base is a pile of shit and I wasn’t doing myself or anyone else any favours by shitting on it.
It’s Wednesday. I’ve dealt with many other codebases before but the urge to rewrite this particular one was just unlike anything else. And so I started changing code and before I realised, I modified almost all the important files.
I got sick of this mixed up code and started a rewrite from scratch. It was Friday and I finally had just the basic mechanics of the whole thing working. Now I needed to add all the functionalities and also my new feature.
It should be noted that at no point did I tell any of the superiors I was doing this fearing what they might say and also fearing going back to adding shit to shit.
By the end of the second week, the rewrite was complete and I only had the new feature to add. The rewrite was significantly smaller, compartmentalised and well commented because I did the bloody commenting (where it was not obvious from the code). So on Friday, I was asked about the progress and I told them that it needed some more work and that I need a couple more days. And I got shit for it. I was told it was a mistake giving this task to me and that I am not competent enough. One of the superiors told the other superior about perhaps giving me something more suited to my level. To be fair to them, they were expecting the work in the two weeks to be for the new feature.
And in two days’ time, on Monday (I worked on Saturday and half of Sunday), I finished the whole thing and gave it to them. New feature was working. And I still did not tell them what I did. The tool worked fine so they had no idea what happened because this project had no version control and I pointed them to a new directory with the new code with a first commit.3 -
Okay so this Is my first actual rant before its been questions or experiences but today has been really stressful. So one of my last posts I talked about how I don't know when to use what syntax whenever and I've been practicing but every fucking time I try to start something I can't fucking get it I don't even know how to start and yeah I planned it out and Im not getting anywhere I can't this is something I wanna do for the rest of my life and I can't even manage to make simple shit its like what the living fuck. Then then I tell my friend who's also in my class who programs what I'm trying to do AND HE DOES IT IN LIKE A MINUTE OR LESS AND IT WORKS AND ITS REALLY FUCKING STUPID BECAUSE I TRY AND STUDY SO HARD AND I CAN'T GET IT NO MATTER WHAT I DO I JUST CAN'T AND IT SUCKS SO FUCKING MUCH I HATE IT I JUST WANNA BE ABLE TO UNDERSTAND HOW I CAN PUT THIS WITH THIS TO DO THIS AND ITS DEPRESSING ME SO MUCH I JUST WANT TO BE GOOD5
-
Tl:dr Guy acts like a moron and is useless in group tasks.
In my class there is this one guy, that I'll just call carl. Now Carl do some stuff that irritates me, but is harmless. Things like repeat the answer he get's every time he asks a question. I fucking hate it, but it's okay. He also says some pretty stupid stuff. Like today when he asked why Ubuntu started when he turned on a computer, the guy next to him simply said because it's installed while I facepalmed.
Carl does even worse things than that. I was asked to work with Carl on a group task.
Now I hate talking in front of people, so we decided that I would do the writing and he would speak to the rest of the class.
I made a word document containing what he had to say, but we also wanted a PowerPoint presentation to make it look better and so the other could get read the basics on what we we were presenting.
Carl decided that he could create the PowerPoint presentation, and I thought why not. The thing I didn't expect was that Carl would install Ubuntu on his laptop, without saving the presentation somewhere else. In other words HE FUCKING DELETED IT.
But it's fine he could just create it using a program that isn't PowerPoint. OH WAIT OF COURSE CARL FOUND A WAY TO TO FUCK THIS. The next time we had that subject he came without his laptop (we use our laptops in all our courses) because he managed to make it unusable, although he fixed it a few days later.
At that point I said fuck it and created the presentation myself.
At this point I didn't trust Carl with anything sharper than a spoon and decided, against our previous, plans to present it with him. Now I sent him the Word and PowerPoint documents so he would now what to say and what the class was going to see.
THIS GUY DECIDED TO JUST READ WORD FOR WORD OF THE POWERPOINT AKA NOT THE THING I ASKED HIM TO DO. So half the the time it was me going into slight detail about advertisement on the net and how people finding your company on google helps to sell products, AND THE OTHER WAS HIM SAYING A FEW WORDS. JESUS CHRIST, Carl basically didn't do shit yet he acted like he did. That's something that really makes me mad.2 -
STOP sending me fucking videos of the bug you are experiencing. I don't get paid as much as I do to sit around and watch your stupid fucking screen captures for 37 minutes just to find 30 seconds of meaningful information to reproduce something you could have put in a paragraph and emailed to me.
Either you meet me halfway and actually understand the expected outcome and how it differs from what you experience enough to verbalize it, or I ain't fucking fixing your shit. For fucks sake, a 40 minute screen recording with no audio does NOT count as a valid reproduction.3 -
I'm trying to explain to this dumb mf-er why we can't use send data simply.
It's a mobile platform I said, you can't rely on having network I said, the dumbass users might try it on 2% battery I said.
DO'H BUT MY INTERZ CAN DO IT IN 5 MINUTES.
Yeah, enjoy crashing the app with asynctask like a stupid bitch. When it fails under nearly every possible condition that deviates from the ideal, you can go write down how great your interns are, eat it up, shit it out and when you grow a flower from that, then I might help you again.
Retard server people.6 -
My colleague can be so fucking annoying I’m close to snapping. It’s morning, I just got it, didn’t have any coffee yet and he asks me “what did you do while I was gone?” (He was away sick a few days). So I start explaining to him the code changes we did and he takes it as an opportunity to interrupt me and ask more questions during my explanation. Mostly because he thinks it’s amusing. I continue explaining not giving in to his shit and he continues interrupting me and tries to make other team members laugh at his stupid face. No one does. I finally tell him to shut up and listen and he does.
It’s like having a kid run around, focusing on every sound other than what is important and trying to be funny when all that’s happening is everyone thinking he’s and asshole that should shut the fuck up. ARGH!!! So annoying.6 -
Week 1 of the new job, and it seems I have some pretty low expectations to meet.
Seriously, I just did the math. Let's say one works an average of 48 hours per week, 50 weeks per year. Just as an average. That's 2400 hours in a year.
In the Micro-scale, a manager would mess up their team once every 2.4 hours (2h24m) or about 4 times per day (assuming 5 working days per week).
That is a pretty low bar to clear. It easy not to be an antsy brat that are-we-there-yet's a professional dev four fucking times a day.
And yet... that is what the complete moron who previously sat on my chair used to do.
Seriously, apparently he used to remote access the team's dev envs *while they were working* and even mess up some of their code. Just as a "monitoring measure". He logged their "keystroke time" in a day (using a primitive windowing method, I must add).
At least 7 requests for updates per person per day. I have his slack history, I checked. Dude literally did nothing else but be an annoying anxiety death pit.
And then there is his bulshit planning...
He created tasks out of his stupid whims, no team review or brainstorming, not even a fucking requisites tallying interview.
He prioritized those out-of-nowhere tasks using panic-driven-development practices and assigned them by availability heuristics.
No sizing method, just arbitrary deadlines for tasks.
I think I will need to have daily standup meetings and an open door policy (that is to say, do no actual work) for a couple months until I can instill some sense of autonomy on my new team. Shit.
Someone has another idea? How do I bring some confidence&autonomy back to devs that are used to be treated like dogs?!?7 -
!dev
STUPID PIECE OF SHIT. PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION MY ASS! random() IS MORE RELIABLE THAN YOU!
I rarely go outside, but whenever i do so from my grandparents you must disappoint me. Literally the least crowded streets in this city and you nail it to arrive 20min. to late. I could have walked to street with the lightly dressed women and get some real service in the meantime.
FUCK YOU
Sincerely, the guy who will be to late to celebrate his own birthday with his friends3 -
I have an Android phone. Pixel 2 to be exact, and I love it. Many family members and friends of mine have iPhones. To each their own.
Having said that, I absolutely HAAAATE the stupid iPhone feature that lets users react to text messages. Today all those iPhone users added me to literally 5 different SMS groups (which by themselves are their own sin), chatting up a storm all evening. I already hate group texts, please, leave me alone. But it gets so much worse when my phone blows up with twice as many messages because so-and-so "liked" this message, and so-and-so "laughed" at that message. It sends you their chosen verb alongside the ENTIRE original text AGAIN.
Such a stupid feature, leave Facebook on Facebook, why the hell do text messages need reactions? I don't give a shit that you liked or laughed or loved that so and so said they will be there at 9 o clock.
At least i have the ability to mute notifications for each group otherwise I'd be replying to every group text I get with a trolling big trigger item or something super inappropriate until they stop. Don't want this to continue? Stop group texting me, stop reacting to texts, and don't do it again.9 -
Do you guys have the concept of caller tune in your country?
It's like when someone calls you, they hear a fancy melody (selected by you) instead of tring tring..
What a stupid concept. I pay for that shit and someone else who calls me gets to hear the good music whereas when I call someone, I hear the stupid tring tring or some music that I don't want to hear.
Shouldn't it be like, I pick some tune and whenever I call anyone, I should be able to hear it instead of tring tring because I am paying for it and I love to hear good music?
I am sure the creature who invented the concept was a Raccoon on some cheap acid.15 -
Dear Oracle,
why do I have to have an X server running for your stupid Oracle Database to install?
Why are you sometimes capable of writing good software like VirtualBox, and then fuck up simple tasks like creating a docker image for your fucking Database? (Seriously, try it, you will not be able to set up a simple Oracle Database using their official Dockerfiles)
Also, what makes you think that -4 is the "most appropriate exit status"?!
What the fuck is wrong with you?
Fuck you really hard you proprietary piece of shit!7 -
Fuck pep8 in general. Fuck harder anything to do with line limits. Fuck with a rusty spatula those who tie it into their git precommits or CI tests.
What's that, it's 2018 and even the shittiest walmart-tier computers have 1080p OR BETTER at a 16:9 aspect ratio?
"lol, 80 character line limit."
Eat a bucket of rancid dicks.
Oh, and since we're forcing you to be so economical with your characters, we're going to force four space tabs. Yknow, rather than simple single tab characters, which could mean everyone can set their preferred level of spacing without bloating the code with whitespace.
Because, yknow, it's entirely reasonable to chew up 1/8 of a line because you're editing a function inside a class definition. God Almighty forbid you try to do a for loop inside that function! Fuck you!
"Oh but you can't have two editors or terminals open side by side without that limit!"
BULL FUCKING SHIT. Here's my shitty 1280x1024 display on my shitty computer with two Sublime editors open side by side. You'll notice the break is at 100 characters. You'll notice I don't have to scroll horizontally to do two things at once. You'll notice I even have room for COMMENTS!
If your code standards require you to make your code *less* readable and *less* clear and take up *more* space to accomplish the same tasks, YOUR CODE STANDARDS SUCK!
Enough with this stupid meme. We're not in the 80s anymore and it's high time to start fucking acting like it.7 -
You know what? I'm done with this bullshit of "do it and we review latter" when I ask clarification on requirements.
No you fucking stupid piece of shit, I'm a mother fucking professional developer, treat me with fucking respect!
I can't spend weeks trying to figure out wtf is your specific domain specifications if you ain't answer my questions with clarity I'm gonna keep asking them in slightly different ways as if you where a search engine and I'm trying to search wtf is in your mind.
Only then I'm gonna start planning/coding your shit.
I have better things to do.
Your lack of planning isn't my priority.3 -
Sick and fucking tired of this bullshit.
Previously worked with Laravel, used 'gulp watch' to watch for changes in assets and now they changed things for the better of Laravel Mix as a fucking wrapper for webpack. Now I have to do shit load more stuff to get gulp working, 'cause otherwise my 'npm run watch' shits itself every fucking time I run that shit, doesn't matter what fix is aplied. Battling that bullshit for 3 days now and shit's not working anyhow. Stupid fucking bullshit. Sorry, had to let it out from myself.10 -
TL;DR: What's cool about your company or what you'd like to have in your company?
I work at a small company (<50 employee) but it has some time around (I'd say almost 20 years or so).
The thing is, the boss here is cheap or inattentive or outdated or all previous options. This translates into a company stuck in the 90's management ways. Well, maybe late 90's.
So we don't have a lot of 'cool' or nice things here; and I've been thinking of coming up with a proposal of a progressive update of some things that gives us (the employees) some sort of identity.
For example, I think that small things like personalized notebooks or post-its or t-shirts give the employees some sort of sense of belonging. We don't have any of that. The only thing we have are business cards and I find them completely useless since I don't visit customers and all my communication with them is via email.
One thing I find very cool is when one employee starts in a company, in their first day they get a 'welcome kit' (example picture): notebook, pen, cup, t-shirt... It may look like stupid shit but it's way better and more motivating than the "Sit here and that's it" welcome I got when I started here.
So I wanna do a proposal of this sort of things that we can adopt, and I wanna know what do you find cool in your company or what would you like your company did so you'd feel more confortable or 'proud' (maybe that's not the word) of working there.6 -
Holy retarded internet company. The fiber cable that comes from the power pole lost its connection to the building I live in. So the fiber was laying on the ground in the parking lot. The upside is it is still working. The problem is people are going to run over the fiber and break it. So I sent an email to the ISP on Thursday. They didn't create a ticket all day on Friday. By the time I got home they were not open. I called their tech support number and pressed 0 until I got a real person. I explained they need to fix this soon or it will get broken. They said "I understand" and then proceeded to create a ticket for fucking wednesday next week! I told them it will damaged by then. They said "I understand". Then I get a text saying they will do this wednesday. No you stupid fuckers, you do not understand!
Queue the McGuiver music:
I got out some steel wire I use to fix stupid shit like this. I made a hook to connect the steel cable holding the fiber. This hook will go around some exposed electrical conduit. Then I got a board to lift it up high (no ladder and 5 inches thick of ice on ground). I cannot balance wire hook on board and get it to slip down. So I got a steel pole I have and attached another hook with electrical tape. As I passed the hook over the conduit I used other pole to grab bottom of hook and pull it down to keep a hold of the conduit. Now the fiber is up in the air again above the parking lot. I hope this stupid hack works until wednesday. My right arm hurts like hell cause the strain of holding the fiber taut while I pulled the hook down. It strained my right hand.
Worst customer service on the planet with Century Stink. They fucking make it harder than hell to get help and it seems they take almost a week to fix shit.4 -
Elasticsearch, from the bottom of my heart...
How can one ecosystem be so batshit crazy inconsistent?
Seemingly every agent does the same (e.g. filebeat vs journalbeat vs packetbeat)… yet there are subtle changes in configuration everywhere.
Plus YML. The most shitty markup language one can use and the cockslubbing durps used it fucking everywhere.
Makes fun to have complex stuff and requiring a python Jinja to JSON to YML converter to be able to write the complex stuff without having the fucking migraine to count like a stupid 4 year old whitespace with both hands...
To make it even more absurd: the ingest pipelines which contain a lot of regular expressions / grok and are thus very prone to quoting issues... Yes. Let's do this in YML too.
If you need to add an fucking manual section how to debug YML errors you should have realized what a fucking stupid idea it was, morons.
Now I have the joy of having a python script regex quoting the shit for a Jinja template which then generates JSON which then generates YML.
Why the JSON part?
Yeah... Because ECS and changes in the upstream YML files / GitHub.
To be able to run diffs in a sane way because in YML distinguishing thing is pretty much impossible, so JSON as an intermediary format solely for the purpose of converting upstream YML to JSON to diff it against modified JSON ingest pipelines downstream.
I fucking hate elasticsearch8 -
!dev
Im working with morrons...
So someone had bright idea of having clone setup of our servers in other hosting company (in previous company we have rendundant setup). Whatever, maybe they want to be resistant to thermonuclear war or whatever, like the project wasn't underfunded already... Whatever, fuq it.
And with that, I have like really, really really fucking ABSOLUTELY BULLSHIT STUPID questions thrown at me.
So, this particular instance of bullshit started with trivial, literally "how much storage capacity we will need" I anwsered at least 4TB, preferably on redundant disk array, I've added small table what uses what and how much etc.
Than I got mail back...
"Thats not enough information:
1. What we need to say to company ABC
2. What we need to say to company XYZ
3. (this one actually had sense) Backups conception
4. **WILL WE PAY FOR SERVERS**
5. other important things (literally)"
So let's break it down.
Im backend guy. What the fuck do I know what you gonna say to XYZ or ABC. I dont give a shit, for me it's clicking setup new server and Im done for, you are overcomplicating as shit and require special care from hosting company that you will pay extra.
Next one, the killer one. What the fucking fuck. my anwser was literally "yes, we need to pay for servers, servers arent free."
Now tell me. How the fuck it is possible that someone can be such an idiot to ask questions like that. and I dont mean #3. maybe even #1 and 2 is like looking someone to throw responsibility on. But why the fuck I have to anwser mail that literally asked me if servers are free.
No, fuck off idiot, I have actual work. Take your bullshit and spread it somewhere else.
E:
and before anyone asks. No, Im not working in kindergarden but I often feel like I am indeed working within kindergarden full of 30+ mentally handicapped toddlers.8 -
Tldr: fucked up windows boot sector somehow, saved 4 months worth of bachelor thesis code, never hold back git push for so long!
Holy jesus, I just saved my ass and 4 months of hard work...
I recently cloned one of my SSDs to a bigger one and formatted the smaller one, once I saw it went fine. I then (maybe?) sinned by attaching an internal hdd to the system while powered on and detached, thinking "oh well, I might have just done smth stupid". Restart the system: Windows boot error. FUCK! Only option was to start a recovery usb. Some googling and I figured I had to repair the boot section. Try the boot repair in the provided cmd. Access denied! Shit! Why? Google again and find a fix. Some weird volume renaming and other weird commands. Commands don't work. What is it now? Boot files are not found. What do I do now? At this point I thought about a clean install of Windows. Then I remembered that I hadn't pushed my code changes to GitHub for roughly 4 months. My bachelor thesis code. I started panicking. I couldn't even find the files with the cmd. I panicked even more. I looked again at the tutorials, carefully. Tried out some commands and variations for the partition volumes, since there wasn't much I could do wrong. Suddenly the commands succeeded, but not all of them? I almost lost hope as I seemed to progress not as much as I hoped for. I thought, what the hell, let's restart and see anyway. Worst case I'll have to remember all my code😅🤦.
Who would have thought that exactly this time it would boot up normally?
First thing I immediately did: GIT PUSH --ALL ! Never ever hold back code for so long!
Thanks for reading till the end! 👌😅8 -
So I spent over 200 hours recovering a raid array because the the business that hired the company I work for tried to do all the work in house. Now I'm to the point of trying to quote a new server setup to the company because the last one got hit by lightning. My quote $8000-$20000 in just hardware alone. If im going to do this I want to do it right. Twin servers running xenserver holding virtual machines with a high-quality Nas to hold the virtual machine. Then have the vm's being imaged to two off site backup devices in two different locations and a cloud backup. My boss comes in after me talks to the guy in charge and tells him all that is needed is one server holding all storage on it just like the last server that died and one off-site backup for $4500. How stupid can someone be who has been doing this for over 20 years? Oh btw the software running on this server will be 911 dispatch, jail records and the database for fine payments. The sheriff making the final call me and my boss are meeting with him tomorrow if my boss tries to undercut me I'm going to tell them both that if the same shit happens next time they can spend the time themselves trying to recover stuff because I done the over 200 hours in just short of two weeks.11
-
Question: What do you mean that you have a bachelor in computer science from college? What do you mean college?
Answer by me: Are you fucking stupid or something???? Give a fucking code test and I will saw you what college means... Little piece of shit!!!! And next time when you are searching for PHP developer do not ask for site development with WordPress experience you fucking noob!!!!4 -
That's it, where do I send the bill, to Microsoft? Orange highlight in image is my own. As in ownly way to see that something wasn't right. Oh but - Wait, I am on Linux, so I guess I will assume that I need to be on internet explorer to use anything on microsoft.com - is that on the site somewhere maybe? Cause it looks like hell when rendered from Chrome on Ubuntu. Yes I use Ubuntu while developing, eat it haters. FUCK.
This is ridiculous - I actually WANT to use Bing Web Search API. I actually TRIED giving up my email address and phone number to MS. If you fail the I'm not a robot, or if you pass it, who knows, it disappears and says something about being human. I'm human. Give me free API Key. Or shit, I'll pay. Client wants to use Bing so I am using BING GODDAMN YOU.
Why am I so mad? BECAUSE THIS. Oauth through github, great alternative since apparently I am not human according to microsoft. Common theme w them, amiright?
So yeah. Let them see all my githubs. Whatever. Just GO so I can RELAX. Rate limit fuck shit workaround dumb client requirements google can eat me. Whats this, I need to show my email publicly? Verification? Sure just go. But really MS, this looks terrible. If I boot up IE will it look any better? I doubt it but who knows I am not looking at MS CSS. I am going into my github, making it public. Then trying again. Then waiting. Then verifying my email is shown. Great it is hello everyone. COME ON MS. Send me an email. Do something.
I am trying to be patient, but after a few minutes, I revoke access. Must have been a glitch. Go through it again, with public email. Same ugly almost invisible message. Approaching a billable hour in which I made 0 progress. So, lets just see, NO EMAIL from MS, Yes it appears in my GitHub, but I have no way to log into MS. Email doesnt work. OAuth isn't picking it up I guess, I don't even care to think this through.
The whole point is, the error message was hard to discover, seems to be inaccurate, and I can't believe the IRONY or the STUPIDITY (me, me stupid. Me stupid thinking I could get working doing same dumb thing over and over like caveman and rock).
Longer rant made shorter, I cant come up with a single fucking way to get a free BING API Key. So forget it MS. Maybe you'll email me tomorrow. Maybe Github was pretending to be Gitlab for a few minutes.
Maybe I will send this image to my client and tell him "If we use Bing, get used to seeing hard to read error messages like this one". I mean that's why this is so frustrating anyhow - I thought the Google CSE worked FINE for us :/ -
Development tools for embedded projects shouldn't need fucking internet to operate. Every fucking app needing internet to even startup is getting more and more stupid. I do a LOT of development offline. I usually have my dev machine away from internet for weeks at a time. It very nice to not have to deal with update issues and the like during this time. So naturally I choose tools to do offline programming for both desktop and embedded. So I decided that for my embedded work I wanted to have better environment than Arduino IDE. Now enters VSCode with Platform IO. I download all the target platforms for my boards. I get it all working and installed. Then I take my computer to my non internet location. I fire up VSCode, select the platform, create a test project, and compile the code. Everything is working great. Then I go to upload the code to my board:
"Blah blah blah you need internet first time talking to a board blah blah blah." Seriously? WTF? Who does stupid shit like this? Once you install your dev tools they should be fucking installed! Now I have to drag my fucking dev boards to another location and do a test install just to do fucking offline programming.
FUCK YOU PLATFORM IO!
Notice I don't blame VSCode for this. I know this IDE is very internet dependent, but it works once you get your plugins installed regardless of internet. Unless of course you are doing internet based programming.3 -
WhaT DO you DO oUTsiDE oF wORK? tell ME SOmETHiNg INtereStInG, PreFerABLY noT RelaTED To yOUR joB Or iNdUStry.
You think I have "time" outside of work? I fucking huff copium like every other fucking wageslave, and we ain't fucking friends so I'm not going to divulge the exact types and flavors of choice for me to be judged.
I don't have the time, money or energy to fucking have some respectable instagrammable hobbies for your stupid like about wanting well rounded people.
We both know all you need from me is to not be an asshole.
At a certain point it feels like the industry is going to compete with girls for shit-testing people except we have whiteboarding leetcode as well.7 -
Last Week Friday:
PM: We'll be taking you off the one project on to another, we'll send the details later.
Me: Cool
*Hours Later*
PM: Ok cool, so you'll be looking at a script that one of our Pillar heads has scripted. You need to make sure it works and that it can run on the server.
Me: *I always thought this guy was useless now i get to see what he can do* Cool, just send the documentation and i'll take a look at it over the weekend. Just tell me when you've sent it.
PM: Cool.
Project Head: I'll inform you when i send the files and how to run them.
Me: *I know how to set up a database locally, i'm not an idiot* Cool.
Whole Weekend I don't get a single message.
Monday Morning:
Project Head(PH): Have you taken a look at it yet?
Me: Taken a look at what?
PH: The Database and the Script
Me: i didn't get any message over the weekend.
PH: I sent it yesterday, it should be in your inbox.
Me: There's Nothing. Sending anything on a Sunday is expecting me not to see it, especially at 10pm. Besides i can't retrieve any of the files in the attachment(Outlook tripping), rather send it in a zip file or upload it to onedrive.
PH sends the link. I get the files, set up the DB, glance at the script.
Me: This is actually interesting.
PH: You know what it does?
Me: My SQL knowledge is below average but i can read and understand it pretty well. So your dynamically copying the database from the server to the warehouse, cool.
It's not going to work though.
PH: Check first.
I check it
Me: Doesn't work, but it sort of works.
PH: What do you mean?
Me: Some tables are populated but some aren't,, how and there's a shit tone of errors.
PH: So i does copy the data over.
Me: Some of the data.
PH: test it on the Server
Me: Not a good idea.
PH: Just try it.
PM: In the mean time i'll send you some documentation i need you to review and edit.
Me: *Idiots* Cool.
Tuesday:
Me: Have you checked it on the server yet?
PH: Not yet, busy.
Me: Where's the documentation again?
PM: I'll send it it a moment.
Me: In the mean time i'll write some script to fix that script that's definitely not going to work.
Wednesday:
Boss: I heard you done with the script
Me: It's not done, but we'll be testing it on the server later.
Boss: Then why are you running it on the server?
Me: Ask the PH and PM.
Boss: What are you doing now?
Me: Well i'm supposed to do documentation *looks at PM* but i haven't recieved any yet, so I've been writing a script to fix the copy script.
PH: Ok we'll test when the boss leaves, after all the meetings.
PM: here's the documentation.
Me: Thanks
I start on documentation.
PH: It didn't work.
Me: I know.
PH: Fix it.
Thursday:
Meeting.
PM: What you doing?
Me: Fixing the script,
PM: Do the documentation first
Me: Cool.
End of the day:
PH: Why you doing the documentation? The script has highest priority.
Me: Ask the PM.
Friday(Today):
Boss: can we talk.
Me: Sure.
Boss: I though you said the script was done?
Me: i said it sort of works, just doesn't do the job 100%.
Boss: Monday i was told it's done.
Me: i only looked through it Monday to understand it, i done nothing before Tuesday. though i have been trying to create a script to fix it.
Boss: Your working really slow hey.
Me: *It's been a week, and stupid people are in charge* I was doing what i was told.
Boss: Cool.(His Upset)
Stupid FUCKEN people, make stupid FUCKEN decisions. But Hey, the boss only see's the final result. I am a human being, even i make mistakes. But there's a huge gap between stupidity and a mistake. -
After reaching the pinnacle of my latent burnout and mental overload lately I quit and managed to get paid leave for the rest of the notice period through hr as I told them I'm not able to work for them anymore and else had to go on sick leave. My brain just had to have a clean cut and blocked me from
getting into their overcomplex and shitty, unplanned projects as I see no value in doing anything for them anymore. I gave them all my access keys and a small handover, but it was clear that they would run into problems without me, cause I've been doing like 5 jobs there due to developer shortage. Now I still get requests from my manager even though I had an operation and spent last week in the hospital and am still recovering for the next two weeks. He's still trying to build pressure as if it was my fault that we never got time to document stuff properly and automate things that have to be automated. He ignored every recommendation I made in past to ensure that things keep running when I leave, as I always knew that I wouldn't do this shit for long. It was always more important to please bosses ever-changing requests and stupid whims as fast as possible at the cost of quality, pressuring us into putting projects live at 80% to meet random deadlines we had no say on. What a fucking asshole trying to put the responsibility on me now. Not my problem anymore. Have fun finding someone else taking over that shithole of an underengineered software-architecture. I'm out!1 -
*revving chainsaw noises*
Today I started nuking leftover project code.
At the end, some projects shrunk by roughly up to 40 % .
Can anyone explain to me why programmers have such an awful hoarding syndrome?
Why do you keep shit that might unleash complete havoc cause it hasn't been touched since years and noone knows id it still works?
It's like having a leg with gangrene and keeping it cause "it doesn't look that bad".
For fucks sake. Clean up and remove shit when it's not necessary anymore.
Reason why I did a bloody gore massacre in nearly a dozen projects... After all the rework of networking, it's finally evident which projects have a bad / nasty behaviour of "fucked up" connection handling (HTTP 1.1).
And when my gory massacre removal goes life, I think 25-35 % of persistent connections on the loadbalancers will vanish. Maybe even more, since some very nasty stuff was in some projects.
Like "let's implement monitoring without having any clue about how monitoring works and even less clues about how TCP/ HTTP works."
*Bangs devs heads on table*
Stop. Doing. Stupid. Things.
For fucks sake.
:@ :@12 -
Short angry rant
What the fuck is wrong with the SalesForce Authenticator logic?! How in the hell do you fuck up a simple 2FA system this hard?!!
Login -> Waiting for Notification... nothing... -> Reload Page -> Login -> Waiting for Notification... nothing -> Click "Use Code instead"... nothing happens... -> Reload Page -> "Login -> don't even wait for notification and just pres "Use Code instead"... nothing -> Reload Page -> Notice there's a "Use Code" button on this page as well -> Finally be able to log into the fucking Aloha piece of shit...
How TF is it, that Duo is able to send me a push notification within 1 second and it ALWAYS works... and THIS FUCKING SHIT NEVER FUCKING WORKS THE FIRST TIME AND AT WORST JUST DOESN'T WORK AT ALL!!!!!
Fucking hell.... Don't offer me a push notification service if you don't know how to make one... jesus fucking christ... All of Salesforce security is fucking stupid, but at least the others mostly work, but this retarded piece of crap is making me actively surprised when it works on first try... Maybe it's because I'm on a slow connection, but again Duo Mobile doesn't have this problem and works *instantly*... so what sort of retarded monkey coded the SF one I don't know, but I hope they are making better products now, because this is a disgrace to programming and security6 -
I continue to internally read and study about Smalltalk in an effort to see where we might have FUCKED UP and went backwards in terms of software engineering since I do not believe that complex source code based languages are the solution.
So I have Pharo. Nothin to complex really, everything is an object, yet, you do have room for building DSL's inside of it over a simple object model with no issue, the system browser can be opened across multiple screens (morph windows inside of a smalltalk system) for which you can edit you code in composable blocks with no issues. Blocks being a particular part of the language (think Ruby in more modern features) give ample room for functional programming. Thus far we have FP and OO (the original mind you) styles out in the open for development.
Your main code can be executed and instantly ALTER the live environment of a program as it is running, if what you are trying to do is stupid it won't affect the live instance, live programming is ahead of its time, and impressive, considering how old Smalltalk is. GUI applications can be given headless (this is also old in terms of how this shit was first distributed) So I can go ahead and package the virtual machine with the entire application into a folder, and distribute it agains't an organization "but why!!!! that package is 80+ mbs!") yeah cuz it carries the entire virtual machine, but go ahead and give it to the Mac user, or the Linux user, it will run, natively once it is clicked.
Server side applications run in similar fashion to php, in terms of lifecycles of request and how session storage is handled, this to me is interesting, no additional runtimes, drop it on a server, configure it properly and off you go, but this is common on other languages so really not that much of a point.
BUT if over a network a user is using your application and you change it and send that change over the network then the the change is damn near instant and fault tolerant due to the nature of the language.
Honestly, I don't know what went wrong or why we are not bringing this shit to the masses, the language was built for fucking kids, it was the first "y'all too stupid to get it, so here is simple" engine and we still said "nah fuck it, unlimited file system based programs, horrible build engines and {}; all over the place"
I am now writing a large budget managing application in Pharo Smalltalk which I want to go ahead and put to test soon at my institution. I do not have any issues thus far, other than my documentation help is literally "read the source code of the package system" which is easy as shit since it is already included inside. My scripts are small, my class hierarchies cover on themselves AND testing is part of the system. I honestly see no faults other than "well....fuck you I like opening vim and editing 300000000 files"
And honestly that is fine, my questions are: why is a paradigm that fits procedural, functional and OBVIOUSLY OO while including an all encompassing IDE NOT more famous, SELECTION is fine and other languages are a better fit, but why is such environment not more famous?9 -
Why am I so stupid? I still don't understand programming after three years of studying on my own. I even went to a programming boot camp and got a c.s Degree. Just tell me that I'm not a fit for programming so I can quit. It seems to me like I don't know anything, I feel like I can't learn for shit. What am I missing, why can't I write code on my own? Why do I always need people held my hand? Why I don't understand anything?13
-
I'm looking at someone's shit code... and I have to remind myself... we all have the ability to be fucking stupid, especially when we're trying to do something in order to do something else so that we can do something else.
note to self: "always remember, they did the best they could with the resources they had at the time".
But that doesn't change the fact that I need to clean up the crap they left behind.5 -
(inspired by another rant I read here)
Last semester we were learning Java in the Programming Fundamentals class and a friend of mine asked for help with an assignment.
The objective was to make a virtual store (as a console app) in which the user would be able to select a few products, customize some of them and then the program would print out a receipt, with a list of all products, their prices, and the total cost.
Simple enough I thought, but there was a catch: you were not allowed to use arrays because the teacher hadn't taught that to the class yet. So I was like "how the fuck are you supposed to do this then?". Turns out the way to do it was to just append text to a string in order to generate the receipt. This is stupidly simple, so stupid that it didn't even cross my mind.
It's just that it's an awful way to architecture your code, it's just plain shit. Sure, if you're learning programming that's completely ok, but using that code on production is just completely unfeasible and I think that's why it didn't even cross my mind to do it this way. I'm just constantly worrying about performance and good code architecture and organization that the simplest of all solutions slipped my mind. When I finally discovered the way the teacher wanted us to do it I just wanted to kill myself...3 -
It's funny how you start feeling bad for the next dev taking over your project because it turned into a total spaghetti code shit show that will be impossible to maintain in the future with new features coming in.
Honestly... if a projects starts out with a certain scope which then gets extended EVERY FUCKING WEEK with requirements that can't even be met in the initial timeframe it's no wonder the code quality will decrease over time.
This just reminds me daily how important good project management (and I'm not talking about suit wearing pain-in-the-ass-managers) and the inclusion of devs in the planning process really is.
It's so fucking crazy that companies run like that with people up front that have NO FUCKING CLUE what they are doing, nor do they understand the mechanics, tech and effort that go into certain features. They're like "beep, boop, it's done by Friday you fuck!".
The funniest part of this stupid charade is that the closer we get to a new "deadline" (we will not meet the deadline anyways) the more nervous the "managers" get. WHY didn't you properly plan this shit in the first place? WHY didn't you care for the last six months where all this fucking bullshit could still have been prevented?
Meanwhile I'm just so sick and tired of this shitty project and this sucky company that I just don't have any motivation left to keep on working. It's so fucking hard and painful to work on projects that suck ass, are poorly designed. I just got to the point where coding is no fun any more. Thank god I'm out of here soon... fml5 -
Fuck I wish I knew what to do about low motivation!!! I have some ideas I think are really great, some that might be profitable, and fuck I just don’t do any of them. I spend more time panicking about what to do than anything else. But damn so much time wasted when I just needed a little guidance or a little planning or a little like less than $100 more money. That frustrates me to no end.
There’s so much bullshit to everything. This does follow up to my wk106 rant, where I’m trying to rationalize the tons of code that are behind the smallest features. How many thousands of builds go into a deploy. Just swallowing how much rite in software.
I feel like a failure at my job at times but what sucks is I’m just in the middle. Not the most experienced dev, not the least. I’ve got my feet wet in a number of things, but not a solid enough stack for a lot.
BUT SOMEHOW I GOTTA BE MOTIVATED TO LEARN. FFS I CAN DO BETTER BUT MY INSIDE IS BROKEN SOMETIMES AND I JUST WANK OFF FUCK GET IT TOGETHER.
Yea, I fight with myself a lot. I have a big ego and I’m a piece of shit at the same time. Idk. That is annoying too. If only I could get really motivated and focused on some of these projects I could do amazing things. I’ve never struggled with a subject I applied myself to. I just wasn’t motivated. I don’t know how to fix it and I wish I did. I also don’t know what the end game for me holds.
This whole complex really scares me for later life. I will have regrets because my mind builds impossible plans for good, but if I achieve any of it I WILL THINK damn I should have not dealt with this and done x. Like I could make world peace but be like damn coulda rebuilt cars or some stupid shit.
So I’ll conclude with that I’ve done a lot of jobs around the house, and yes working with drywall sucks. So sometimes I’ll think about that. But damn. That doesn’t last because I know I can do it well if I apply myself.
All this leads to getting overextended which is another huge motivation killer. I’m trying to learn self control and focus. But also I need small victories along the way. Very annoying.
Well at least I was motivated to finish this rant. I have a few weekly rants I wanted to participate in but couldn’t even find the motivation for that. There was a toxic person in my life then and I’m slowly getting back to normal but I know that even normal me struggles with motivation. Plus that toxic person was my friend and I’ve lost a lot of (long term) friends recently and that is a real drag. But they needed to go. But I wish they had just shut up sometimes then they wouldn’t have been so toxic. But I digress.
I know I have so many ideas I can’t do them all even if I am motivated and for some time is of the essence.
So look out for some collabs. And grab that motivation wherever you can find it.1 -
I decided to learn Flutter, because the idea of a common code base between Android and iOS sounds nice. I'm late to the party, I know.
So I install everything and start typing in the tutorial. TAB... two spaces. I absolutely hate that so let's change it. In the settings, it sends me to a FAQ which more or less says this is the way it is, deal with it. But I want my tabs to be four spaces, every code editor since the dawn of time could do this... I'M PAYING FOR THIS SHIT!!!!!!!
Ok, let's check the JetBrains website, I'm starting to lose my patience, but let's do it. At this point I should also mention that I'm feeling pretty stupid. I mean, I'm checking on the internet about how to do something which obviously must be obvious, why am I not seeing it?
I find a page on the official website. JetBrains' replies are along the lines of "Why would you want that?", "The holly wars between tabs and spaces are over", "Most people like it this way", "The overlords said this is the coding style to be used" (Ok, the last one was me reading between the lines). At the end of the thread, they provide a "hackish solution" (their words, not mine). Which doesn't work. Because why should it?
Not even when PyCharm's debugger randomly shat itself and I had to use print statements I got so angry. That was relatively fine, bugs are a fact of life, and the overall package is good, so I kept paying.
But now you're telling me that I cannot use what should be a common feature of every code editor just because you and the overlords know better?
Well, fuck you and the horse you came in on JetBrains, you've just lost a customer.16 -
Job frustrated me again today.
The shit just keeps on commiting suicide...
Cannot talk much about it, but essentially it's faulty software killing randomly one or one up to N servers running elasticsearch...
Conversation between me and a good friend:
Me: No gaming today, work todo.
Him: noooo...
Me: Yes...... Could u go buy some groceries? Household help is sick.
Him: maybe...what u need?
Me: coffee. I need frigging fucking coffee.
Him: ok. How bad is it.......
Me: empty today.
Him: will be at your house in hour. DON'T DO ANYTHING STUPID.
...
It's funny how good friends immediately sense danger and become very attentive when the lack of coffee and myself is mentioned in one sentence.5 -
Today a task was assigned to a coworker, he is a good guy, but one of those that never complain, never say anything, get there early, go to lunch at the exact same hour everyday, doesnt talk to anybody and gets off at exactly 6pm.
So, the task was submitted by QA, according to them, a disabled input could be enabled by going into the dev tools and enabling it...
So i went over the pm and told her (cos she is a cunt) that the ticket was just bullshit and that first of all, we had no control of it, but if that is the case, we can go over and add event listeners to all the inputs in the platform to avoid people changing them...like wtf?
Since she is a dumb cunt, she 'escalated' the task to the senior dev... he is also a total fucktard who doesnt know a shit. The dude said that the task was ok and we had to do it or not but it was better to do it, justifying the ticket in the most stupid and incoherent way... like wtf is to do with it? Tell the user to not go over the devtools and enable it? The fuckkkk
I felt like i was about to shit my kidney, seriously, but what can i do? It is not the first time things like that happen. The stupid fuck also let one of his friends add several migrations to change several tables columns just because of 'good practices' which in first place left the databas all fucked up and with fucked relations.
I'm just so tired of these fucks, incompetent motherfuckers... I told a friend about it and he said that that was nothing, it is worse when you have to work for banks and that the only thing i could do was to let it go and learn from it, to not do the same mistakes. Im thinking in quitting... what should i do?3 -
Why the fuck do people at certain universities and colleges think they have to translate programming related expressions? They sound extremely stupid and often misleading for someone who studied CS in English.
I had an interview recently at a company where the interviewer, who most likely studied at one of those unis, asked questions in our native language and I had to ask for clarification multiple times because of this shit. Now they probably think I'm not even familiar with some of the basics. 😤1 -
Avoid ACPICA if at all possible. It's one garbage tier cluster fuck of bad design, horrible documentation and downright misleading and wrong code
It's meant to consist of an ASL compiler, disassembler, debugger, dumper, various user space utitilies and a kernel resident OSPM implementation *if* you can figure out what belongs to what. Even just compiling this pile of trash is a mystery in itself. Think you need the source files in source/common? EEEEH, wrong. Well, at least partially since most of them seem to be for the user space stuff..? Other ones *are* needed on the other hand. At least the disassembler and/or debugger and/or dumper components seem to reference them. Not that I could figure out how to compile those anyways. The real path to your goal seems to be to ignore a seemingly arbitrary subset of source and header files until your linker stops complaining
There's also a bunch of configuration defines, some of which *you* define, some defined *for* you, based on again others. Of course most of them do stupid shit. Enabling the debugger automatically enables debug logging. Enabling the disassembler force enables debug allocation tracking... What?
The code itself isn't of much help either. Looking in "os_specific/service_layers" you find what looks to be reference implementations of acpica functions in certain os' like windows and unix. Of course I had a look because AcpiOsReadMemory is supposed to read physical memory and I don't know how I would even implement that. But hey, osunixxf.c (xf for interface... of course) should tell me. I'll let you see for yourself in the attached image. Apparently it does fuck all and just returns AE_OK. No error, no logging, no nothing. Just ok. As you can imagine, AcpiOsWriteMemory doesn't do much more either.
...okay so maybe physical memory accesses aren't actually used and these functions are some sort of relic from past times? Nope! They are absolutely necessary for doing low level device interaction. WTF. So finally I went to the linux source and checked how *they* implemented them, and just as I thought, these functions are anything but no-ops...
...So for what fucking reason do these stupid interface implementations even exist but to purposefully mislead you?? They aren't used for fucking anything! As far as I know Windows doesn't even *use* ACPICA and Linux have their own fork with working implementations... They just sit there, just to tell you how to NOT do it
So that's some of my thoughts about ACPICA. Note that I haven't even used it as a library yet, I just got it to compile and link and it already fucked with me this much.
There's also so much more I didn't mention like that you *have* to modify the acpica source in order to get your own platform header working (else #error) eventhough the docs explicitely instruct you not too but you get the point
Don't use ACPICA if you don't have to. Save your sanity for something that's worth it -
Brazil is the country where companies spend the most to find out how much tax they should pay on a product. This process is so complicated that it consumes more than half of all software development professionals available. I'm one of them, and I can't stand working with this shit anymore. I have other projects, but I can never get rid of this niche that is more profitable. It sucks when even though you do what you love, you use it for such a stupid purpose, which is to calculate how much you should give to the government.10
-
If I could I just wouldn't support email in any way shape anymore.
It's just too much hassle with all the spam filters and people just don't understand how email works.
Nobody fucking reads it anyway.... but everyone wants like a bazillion variations on stupid emails that go out that nobody will read.
They don't get that email is often instant ... but is actually async.
They don't understand that just because they got an email sent to their own distribution list ... and someone took them off the list... that doesn't mean that WE an outside group emailing that list stopped sending them messages.
Nobody actually looks at their spam filters until I tell them to do it for the 3rd time. And as if by magic folks at the same company don't 'have spam filter problems all the time'.
I had a company 'security' filter that straight up followed all the links in an email (that's fine ... we're good, I get that).... and then their stupid bot or whatever would actually click options on a form and fucking submit the fucking form!!!!!
I mean I get that maybe some sites have folks submit some shit and then deliver malware but that's gonna have consequences submitting shit none the less because I don't know it's just your fucking bot...
So they'd get various offers from our customers and bitch when they went to find it was already gone.5 -
Multi User, One Account, and other shit
I'm gonna rant about something as a user, and someone who makes stupid web stuff.
My bank has been updating their web banking over time and they decided that every individual on an account, should have their own login. They really want to push this on their users, I suspect specifically folks like me and my wife who share one login for the joint accounts we have at the bank together.
Why share one login, because it's the only sure fire way I know that I and my wife can see all the same shit no doubt about it.
The banks never tell you what you can see or can't with joint accounts, I doubt it is even documented on their end, but in every damn case something is hidden or different in some weird way.
Messages to the bank people? If I send it, my wife often can't. I get that for security reasons that's a thing, but it makes no sense for a joint account.
ANY difference to me breaks online banking ENTIRELY. Joint accounts are supposed to be... well one account that is the same.
Other banks we used where we had different logins for the joint account, each login actually had separate bill pay accounts per user. So if I went to bill pay and scheduled something to be paid, my wife had no idea, same if she did.
Right fucking there, banking is just broken entirely!
So no Mr. Bank, fuck you we're both logging in via the same login.
Fast forward to N00bPancakes making a thing.
So my employer has a customer (Direct Customer). Direct Customer wants a thing that makes communication with their customer (Indirect Customer) easier.
The worst thing about making something for your customer's customer is that Direct Customer always imagines that Indirect Customer is gonna be super ninja power users....
But no, that's not the case... in fact almost nobody is a power user, and absolutely nobody WANTS to be a power users.
Worse yet in my case the only reason this tool exists is because Direct Customer and Indirect Customer can't communicate well enough anyway... that should tell you something about the amount of effort Indirect Customer is willing to expend.
So with that tool, this situation constantly comes up:
Direct Customer thinks it would be great if every user from Indirect Company had some sort of custom messaging, views, and etc in of Cool Communication Tool. The reason is because that's what Direct Customer loves about Ultra Complex Primary Tool that they use ....
Then I have to fight the constant fight of:
NOBODY WANTS TO BE A POWER USER, NOBODY EVEN WANTS TO DO MUCH OF ANYTHING ON THE INTERNET THAT ISN'T SCREAMING AT OTHER PEOPLE OR POST MEMES OR WATCH SHITTY VIDEOS. THE MOMENT ANYONE AT INDIRECT COMPANY LOGS IN AND SEES ANY INFO THAT IS DIFFERENT FROM THEIR COWORKER THEY'LL SHIT THEMSELVES, FLOOD EVERYONE WITH 'OH GAWD SOME NON SPECIFIED THING IS WRONG' AND RESPOND TO EMAILS LIKE A JELLYFISH DROPPED OFF IN NEW MEXICO... AND NOTHING WILL GET DONE!!!
God damn it people.
Also side rant while I'm busy fighting the good fight to keep shit simple and etc:
People bitch about how horrible the modern web is and then bitch at web devs like we're rulers of the internet or something.... What really pisses me off about that is other devs who do that.... like bro, do you make policy at your company? You decide not to sell some info or whatever shit your company sells? Like fuck off with your 'man I miss html' because you got scared by some shitty JS error and ran back to your language of choice and just poked your head out of the the basement and got scared... and you shit on another developer about that? Fuck you.1 -
I haven't been able to work on the computer without getting a headache very soon after for almost 2 weeks straight now.
I presume I have grown a sensitivity to bright light, stemming from the time I dimmed my phone all the way about 5 months ago and never set it back until just now.
In my classes I will get random headaches that hurt like heck and make me feel groggy, making me unable to focus at all. And while doing computer work, I'll get the same thing.
I've tried getting my eyes checked again, and got new glasses about a week ago - still no help.
Prior to this incident I was working hard on a volunteer project with a small team. Since then my progress and commits have dwindled greatly, and I feel stressed out because I can't do what i want to do without hurting and feeling like absolute shit!
I'm currently trying to get my eyes used to bright lights again by setting things like my phone screen to a brighter setting, changing some dead light bulbs in different rooms of the house, and getting more involved outside.
I hope this goes away soon - I don't want to have this stupid headache every time I go to code or work in class.12 -
- assignment is to display a paragraph fit within a rectangle
- takes maybe 10 minutes to write
- 1 error preventing Xamarin Forms solution from building
- googles error and seems to be a version issue with a single package
- upgrade that single package
- 43 errors preventing solution from building
- reverts back to previous package version
- 76 errors preventing solution from building
- angrily turns off laptop and packs away things into laptop case
- talks shit about xamarin and all the annoying nuisances ive dealt with for this stupid mobile app class
- takes laptop back out because deadline is tomorrow and i have to make the solution build even though i want nothing to do with it
- laptop takes 2 hours and 14 minutes to load up Windows (no update or anything. Just me signing in like every other normal day)
- code builds first try without errors
- wait what the fuck
- concludes that i need only verbally intimidate electronics into submission from now on7 -
You know what you shouldnt do? Leave your bag with your work laptop at the stairs.
Woke up as normal today and helped the kids down the stairs without checking. Then I just heard how I stepped on something.
Lets say its a big crack in the middle of the screen and you see shit. But gladly it work with work with external screens so its just the screen that are damaged. So tomorrow I must either:
- Work as normal with an external monitor and simply wait to call the boss for fix until after christmas.
- Or call the boss and tell him how stupid I am and hope its okay and I van get a new one/fix this.
Right now I feel for the first one.3 -
What have I been working absolutely all fucking day? FUCKING PRINTERS. I am so fucking tired of printers, everything to do with the stupid pieces of shit.
Then, some fuck stain has called me 6 times in the last hour trying to get me to drop all the things I’m doing and make him priority #1... Even though it has nothing to do with the computer and everything to do with the lack of fucking skills he has to preform his god damn job.
For fuck sakes, FUCK OFF!1 -
ARE YOU F*CKING KIDDING ME, WINDOWS?
I finally give in and install your stupid ass update, and what happens? let's just skip the part where i sit around for 30 minutes because apparently it takes 30 fucking minutes to install 300MB - by stallman's underpants, that's 150KB per second!
and when windows FINALLY feels like it has finished fondling it's binary-balls, what is waiting for me?
about 10 stupid-ass data-consent notices straight from satans anus, more weird yes-or-maybe settings for cortana (bill gates' ex or whatever that is) which i don't even USE, my browser speed dial has been complemented by about 7 links to SHOPPING SITES and once i sort that mess out i get a notification that the german language pack has successfully been installed.
SUCK MY FUCKING D*CK MICROSOFT, the ONLY thing i want to do with that language pack is SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS. i can't even uninstall that moronic piece of shit. FUCK YOU.2 -
Snapchat is by far the worst app ever developed. I like the concept but the actual development of the app is fucking garbage. It hurts my head that they haven't given a fuck about usability, optimisation or anything for that matter considering its one of the top social media platforms. It disgusts me, though Instagram has completely ripped off Snapchat in so many ways; they've done a hell of a better job at it and if people weren't so tired to SC I'm sure it would be dead by now.
Slow UI, slow gestures, probably the highest amount of bugs and crashes, shit camera because it thinks it can do a better job than the native API at rendering, painfully slow upload, stupid "featured" stories that you cannot get rid off and slow the fuck out of the app, battery drain even worse than FB, oh and not to forget that once you accidentally enable your location it's impossible to switch it off, the best you can do is hide it from everyone. I can probably go on and on with the endless issues this shit has.5 -
So today I got fucked by myself. And it hurts.
In my Company, we started thinking how we could organize some kind of think tank for the next 5/ years goals.
As CTO I got designated to be in these workshops... And stupid me, I started to organize the "workshops". Using " agile" and "facilitator" artifacts (serious games, ideation sessions, open space sessions, etc).
Today we finished the roadmap and proto processes to make bottom to top inclusive process, and co-create with everyone what should be the Company roadmap.
We went to dinner. And I was happily talking with my smartphone when they decided that I should preside the committee in charge of the roadmap creation!!!!!
Useless mother fuckers!!!!! Go kill yourselves!!!! I have some interesting stuff to do!!!
Why didn't I just shut it!!! Now I'll have to make sure the old cluster fuck part of the Company do real shit!!! They are fucking useless and don't give a shit about the future!!!!
FUCK THEM!!!!!
FUCK ME!!!!!!7 -
The company I used to work for, despite me not working there contacts me to get a verification code because the crappy developer they hired can't change a couple settings on the apple website and add themselves as a developer.
At the start of this all, a couple months back I gave them the code out of courtesy, but at this point, as i'm heavily invested in the development stage of my actual job as a vr developer, I won't take time out of my day to even answer the phone for them.
But what really pisses me off is the person who contacts me, my assumbly best friend, who during the last 12 months has only called me for these codes, so work related shit or just personal shit and never to hang out or play games or generally what we used to do as friends before he got a job at that stupid company doesn't have the balls to tell his boss that i'm busy with my job, that maybe if payment was offered as an incentive that I would be happy to be contacted.
When I left that company I didn't setup anything to make it so they would have to contact me, all I did was add myself as a developer of their app. I also heavily documented everything I did, all the issues I faced and the workarounds I found, and everything including all login information needed to get things working, I went above just "developing" the app I added in all the credits to all work used in the app as partly to make sure we don't get sued for stealing someones work without the right credit.
I hate the fact that I worked for minimum wage and did all of this shit, but I never complained at all about things like the 1 1/2 hour travel time (one way I might add) to my boss, the amount of money I spent on public transportation, the little money left over that I didn't even spend and instead give to my parents.
They know nothing about how hard that year was for me, and if they want to get this code, my so called friend can come chat in person, in his off time and when I'm done working on my own shit and we can discuss terms because this shit is just not fair at all.5 -
Alright I hate these backhanded guilt trip attempts for people to sign you up for their spammy stupid email campaigns. If I don't want to subscribe don't give me a sarcastic smart ass button that I have to hit. (note the text at bottom) then again I also hate myself because this is totally the kind of shit I would do if I owned a news site...4
-
I AM IN RAGE !!! MY MANAGER IS A FUCKIN SNAKE ASSHOLE!
FUCKER RATED ME 3/5 !
i feel like destroying my laptop and putting my papers right away. this is absolute shit hole of a company where corporste bullshit and multi level hierarchy runs the system, ass licking is the norm and still me, a lowly sde dev 1 was giving my 200% covering their bullshit to deliver outputs on time.
let me tell you some stats.
- our app has grown by 2x installs and 5x mau.
- only 3 devs worked on the app. the other 2 can vouch for my competence.
- we were handled an app with ugliest possible code full of duplication, random bugs and sudden ANRs. we improved the app to a good level of working
- my manager/tl is such a crappy person that if asked about a feature out of random, he will reply "huh?" and will need 2 mins to tell anything about it.
- there is so much dependency with other teams and they want us to talk to them personally. like hell i care why backend is giving wrong responses. but i cared, i gpt so good handling all these shit that people would directly contact me instead of himal and i would contact them. all work was getting done coz 1 stupid fellow was spending 90% of his time in coordinations
- i don't even know how to work with incompetence. my focus is : to do my task, fix anything that is broken that will relate to my task in any way and gather all the stuff needed to complete my task
i am done. i cannot change this company because its name is good and i am already feeling guilty about switching my previous jobs in 1 year but this is painful.
in my first company i happily took a 10% hike coz i was out of college and still learning.
in my 2nd company, i left due to change in policies ( they went from wfh to wfo and they were in a different state) , but even while leaving they gave a nice 30% hike
in my current company idk wjat the no. 3 equates to , but its extremely frustrating knowing a QA who was so incompetent, he nearly costed us a DDOS got the same rating as me
------
PS : GIVE ME TIPS ON HOW TO BE INCOMPETENT WITHOUT GETTING CAUGHT8 -
I'm so fucking fed up with the npm ecosystem. Every single god damn time I've had to do anything it always takes DAYS to figure out how to get anything working and I always have to try multiple tools or libraries to final get it half way sorta.
I'm so fucking annoyed right now. They always turn out not that great, have lacking features or trivial oversights in functionality and ALWAYS have garbage documentation.
I just want to build a fucking npm library with TypeScript to be used with node. That's probably the NUMBER 1 use case so how fucking hard can that be?
So obviously I start out with tsc. That's quite simple, compiles all my stuff and shits out .js and .d.ts files. Okay so how do I use them via es6 import? I don't fucking know, because it doesn't work no matter what I do. The 'module' option in tsconfig is absolutely useless btw. It does *literally* fuck all. Nada. Absolutely nothing.
Okay I'm far from defeated, maybe I'll just have to bundle it. So I waste two days finding something that half works (I'm using fusebox right now) and at last I get a stupid es6 module as a single bundle... But what about type the declarations? They are nowhere to be seen and of course there's no option for that. Because Fusebox the pile of shit that's oh so well Typescript integrated apparently doesn't think TYPE DECLARATION FILES are needed. What the actual fuck.
And that's where I'm now. I need the fucking .d.ts files so I can use it as a module with import. Do I really need another fucking piece of shit tool that bundles these files? Honestly fuck all of this. "Oh the Javascript ecosystem is so great" YEAH fucking great, alright. Where 90% of the ESTABLISHED tools and libraries (we don't talk about the landfill of all the other shit) flat out don't do what you need. Again, how fucking hard can it be to make a npm lib with typescript? That should be NATIVELY SUPPORTED. If not by npm atleast by typescripts tsc.
FUCK NPM. FUCK JAVASCRIPT. AND FUCK THE WHOLE ECOSYSTEM4 -
seeing questions like "finding the Longest Substring Without Repeating Characters" and being unable to find answer for hours make me question myself as a developer and wanna leave the tech world entirely.
And i am the dev who reduced an app size from 64mb to 27mb and rewrote the entire payment stack for a 10million user base company :|
DSA and competitive programming is seriously a bullshit. The world runs on fancy buttons and screens, and grabbing user's attention should be the ultimate goal to get profits. nobody should be learning this aweful stuff anymore. We are storing the open source and stack overflow content below the oceans and glaciars for a fucking reason!, so that our future gen could use those stupid knowlege without recreating the wheel
Why do we have this inferiority complex component in our life? do foot doctors also feel low for not able to understand heart or the working of eyeballs? they all are doctors to us, and all are equally appreciated by peons, HRs, receptionists the owner and even his freaking colleague doctors and seniors!!
But here we will be judged by a stupid "coding interview" for the role of a dev . the interviewer will be laughing at me for not solving a trivial problem with strings, as if I am seeing those bloody strings for the first time. I will be like some peasent to him, asking for more wages while portraying myself as some unqualified filth
FUCK this SHIT22 -
Why React is soo complicated? Seriously why do we always need to use some stupid shit like this
const [state, setState] = useState();
what the fuck is this? Who designed it that way, why it should always look like shit for no reason? Why its API feels like spaghetti? When i am comparing other front-end frameworks they feel like heaven in their structure.
AND WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME HAVING A QUOTE ON A PARAGRAPH ELEMENT, WHY DO I HAVE TO USE FUCKING HTMLENTITES FROM 2000?
FUCK'ERE35 -
Some people of devRant are astonishingly stupid.
I post a rant of Ryan Dahl where he says he don't like the unnecessary complexity of modern software. It's an obvious UX rant, but @Crost says that it's about rushing releases and writing sloppy code to "tick the item off my list and solve the problem". @Crost and other boubas, if Ryan's vision was more widespread, macOS, the OS you all hate so much, wouldn't have existed because Linux would have the best UX ever.
I post a rant about Google algo being nasty and throwing triggering shit at me. I previously posted stuff like this, Root confirmed that it works just the way I think it works, it's a manipulative piece of crap. But @Oktokolo says that "The algorithm literally just gives you same of the stuff you just saw", well, I don't know, nice view of the problem for a guy with no computer and no smartphone, @Oktokolo! All that "youtube recommendations gathered us together on some obscure video" comments, and you still don't get it.
I post a rant about how I redesigned a fucking color wheel icon. It shows a "before-after" pic and the colors are obviously the same, but fucking @Oktokolo be popping up again, telling me that I have eye condition (!) that makes me see more blues than yellows.
No wonder you guys don't know how to use CSS, the simplest programming language (yes, it's a programming language).
No wonder smart people like SortOfTested just leave.
I still refuse to believe that devRant user base consists of stupid people exclusively. Perhaps they are just average, and I'm the genius with my Aspergers just getting way more information out of my environment like I always do.20 -
C# has become shit.
I work since 2013 with C# (and the whole .NET stack) and I was so happy with it.
Compared to Java it was much lean, compared to all shitty new edge framework that looked like a unfinished midschool project, it was solid and mature.
It had his problems,. but compared to everything else that I tried, it was the quickes and most robust solution.
All went in a downhill leading to a rotten shit lake when all this javascript frenzy began to pop up and everyone wanted to get on the trendy bandwagon.
First they introduced MVC, then .NET Core, now .NET 5-6-7-8.
Now I'm literally engulfed with all these tiny bits of terror javascript provoked and they've implemented in all the parts of their framework.
Everything has to be null checked at compilation time, everything pops up errors "this might be nulll heyyyyy it's important put a ! or a ? you silly!!!" everywhere.
There are JS-ish constructs and syntax shit everywhere.
It's unbearable.
I avoid js like a plague whenever I can (and you know it's not a luxury you get often in the current state of a developer life) and they're slowly turning in some shit js hybrid deformed creature
I miss 2013-2018, when it wass all up to me to decide what to do with code and I did some big projects for big companies (200-300k lines of code without unit tests and yes for me it's a lot) without all this hassle.
I literally feel the need c# had to have some compiler rule you can quickly switch called "Senior developer mode" that doesn't trigger alarms and bells for every little stupid thing.
I'm sure you can' turn on/off these craps by some hidden settings somewhere, but heck I feel the need to be an option, so whoever keeps it on should see a big red label on top of the IDE saying "YOU HAVE RETARDED DEV MODE ON"
So they get a reminder that if they use it they are either some fresh junior dev or they are mentally challenged.20 -
I HATE SPRING JPA HIBERNATE AND EVERYTHING RELATED TO FUCKING JAVA.
Everything behaves like it was created with a human as an afterthought, so it torments people and target audience are masochists. This whole ecosystem is an abomination of the software world.
Every fucking error has a thousand possible solutions for every single person AND NOT A SINGLE ONE WORKS!!!
The stupid thing will just keep throwing its internal problems in a stack DUMP DIARRHEA that you have to sort through to find anything remotely useful! I DON’T give a fuck about your stupid internal implementation, just tell me what the fuck you want!
And you have to play the guess game and find the right combination of their stupid little configurations to make it barely work. I couldn’t believe reading stackoverflow, people are just poking at it hoping it will work. And I’m literally stuck and can’t fix the damn thing no mater what I do, and I’m abandoning it.
I won’t touch this pice of shit with a twenty meter pole ever again! Last time I was this frustrated was the stupid java ee. Nothing in the software world has frustrated me this much. How does one even come up with this…
I’m done… I’m just done…5 -
I AM ABOUT TO KICK SOME PROFESSORS ASSES!!!!!!!!!!
THOSE MOTHERFUCKERS ARE MAKING GO MAD BEYOND MY BOUNDS WITH THERE MOTHERFUCKING STUPIDITY AND SELF RIGHTEOUSNESS.
LISTEN YOU FUCKS I WORK AS A PROGRAMMER TO PAY FOR MY FUCKING TUITION. NO IT IS NOT A PART-TIME JOB. I FUCK UP MY SCHEDULE SO I CAN CAME HERE TO THIS SHIT LEARNING SOMETHING BECAUSE YOU FUCKERS DO NOT HAVE A LECTURE AFTER HOURS.
SO WE I SAID THAT I CAN ONLY CAME TO THIS CLASS AT THIS TIME AND DAY OF THE WEEK I AM NOT BULLSHITING YOU.
SO DO US A FAVOR AND STOP BEING SO FUCKING STUPID AND GIVING ME THAT CYNICAL SMILE YOU PIECE OF SHIT.
FUCK YOU FUCKER AND YOUR PIECE OF SHIT CLASS.2 -
Today has officially drained all the brain I didn't even have yesterday. Let's hope I get somewhere with this thing, or else all the brain I've wasted is going to be useless.
Also, fuck opencv's fisheye undistortion. Mofo, I don't have the camera params, how the fuck do you want me to give you your stupid kernel shit? Shut the fuck up from my face. Stupid hoebag.
... 😭😭😭😭😭 -
I'm moving to PHP.
No, seriously. PHP devs were treated like “you're the tech guy, I don't care, make it work” for so long that PHP deps library has everything. If you need to do an unusual task like slowing download speed to 64 kbps, there is a lib for that. Caching is one lib away. Yes, libs themselves are subpar, but they do the job.
Performance? I never had any perf issues in my apps. DB is always the bottleneck, and I know databases.
Frameworks? I don't care about them.
Also, I'll always find PHP devs on the market.
Shut the fuck up with your elitist rust crap. PHP is a nuclear-resistant cockroach that will outlive you, your stupid language and everything you wrote in it. My PHP code will be running fine after every line of code you ever wrote in rust/python/java/scala/whatever fancy language you like is no longer in use.
Yes, I talked shit about PHP in the past. I was neither pragmatic nor mature. Many things changed since. For starters, I'm a CTO now. Hating PHP was easy and socially acceptable. Talk shit about PHP, get internet points — that's how it always worked.
No more. PHP is the king.9 -
my instructor forgot to do Cengage shit right again... why me...
Assignment wants me to "go do a thing to sort 3 numbers with if/else statements"
I'm going to use a list and list.sort() as i'm not stupid and these are bad habits to teach...
...or not.
(I know I can put the values into the right vars and then print those but that feels so wrong to me for something that's gonna be printed ONCE. That also doesn't help as it's searching for if/else statements... although it's not searching for a whole one... nor in actual code...)4 -
why do cooperate companies insist in using IE. IE is stupid 😟 I can't take IE's shit, man.
Me : "please install chrome on users computers.."
them: "no we are upgrading to IE 10 today.."
me: " but whyy? 😟.. at least upgrade to IE 11 😟"1 -
Background:
I graduated high school from a technical school. And my teacher asked me to come in a few times a week and assist (which I LOVE doing)
So they’re working with circuits and raspberry pi’s and when I can in they pointed out that there was a project they couldn’t get to work. So I had to look at it. Now I was not given the original it was one a student tried to copy in (like they were supposed to) but it was awful. All the indentation was even more off than the original and on top of that. The original and what I was given wouldn’t give an error code.. and so I had no idea what was happening so I just decided to try to fix the indentation and take out stuff that didn’t look right (what else was I supposed to do when I didn’t know where to start?) and while I was doing it another student started to try to fix it and it legit barely took 5 minutes and now my spirit and confidence is broken. I wasn’t petty I observed the result and congratulated him cause he deserved it. After I took the code and put it on my laptop and figured out it was an “inconsistent use of tabs and spaces” error which is fucking stupid and I’ve never seen that in python before so after I debugged that there wasn’t really anything left to debug. So I guess I somewhat redeemed myself but I still feel like shit2 -
I haven't felt an urge to post on here in a while just because things have been going so well. But this month, is just not that kind of month anymore.
I'm upset. I'm upset by how I've been uprooted from my routine. I know I shouldn't be that bothered by it and things always change. But what the fuck is this company thinking to be using it's own fucking home baked ticketing system!
WHAT THE EVER LIVING FUCK IS THIS SHIT!
Let's go over the issues it has
1. I can't fucking email my clients through it
2. all emails are not recognized automatically. In other words each new email creates a new ticket if it does not have the tracking number attached to it.
3. I have to fucking hunt around in my inbox that is now bombarded by every email that is created for this ticketing system. Slap on a fucking tracking number. And then HOPE TO FUCKING GOD that the person on the other end doesn't erase the subject and cause the system to create a new ticket just for it.
Let's go over Zendesk which they've decided to decomission.
1. I. DON'T. HAVE. TO. DO. ANY. OF. THAT. FUCKING. SHIT.
2. That's it. It's fucking simple
Seriously. They forced me off of my original platform because this company already had a "ticketing system", if you can even fucking call it that, working.
And just if you weren't aware, all of this change happened because my company got bought out. It got bought out by this behemoth company that isn't willing to let me continue using a system; that has been very efficient, mind you, and instead make me use their system.
I. FUCKING. HATE. THIS.
Every fucking day! I have to do this stupid bullshit of emailing clients from my personal work email instead of on the direct ticketing system.
When I first started using this thing I actually thought I could use it to email the clients. For a solid two weeks I was "communicating" to clients through their ticketing system. Only to find out that the entire time those clients were not getting my actual fucking email! WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?
Then these guys tell me after the fact. "Oh that's strange... We never noticed that you can't send emails through it... We always just had used our work emails."
Are you fucking jerking my chain! You guys have literally been sitting in this slimy pit of hell for so long that you don't even know there are better options out there!
You don't have to fucking live this life!!
I don't think I'm going to make it. Something needs to change. And I know upper management isn't going to do it, because I fought hard to try and keep Zendesk. They are not keeping it. After this next quarter it is officially gone.
I'm trying to think of coding solutions to make my situation better... But I shouldn't have to fucking do that! There are perfectly good working solutions out there, and this company doesn't want to budge because "that's the way we've always been doing it"
I'm going to fucking rip out my hair. -
I’m extremely frustrated with my job situation. I want to code, I absolutely love building stuff with software. My current job is a “tech” job, but involves absolutely zero coding. I don’t know what else I can do to stand out more or make myself a better candidate.
-I’m a new-grad with a flawless in-major GPA (computer science major)
-I have other past internship experiences that involve coding
-I frequently do my own side projects and post them to GitHub
-I work well on teams (life-long and collegiate athlete)
I apply to tons and tons of places only to get no response, or to have a single fucking interview and then get dropped
Fuck this stupid shit I am so frustrated8 -
We write our feature specifications in Gherkin, so it is clear to every member of the team (even nondevs GASP!) exactly what each feature should do.
SO WHY THE FUCK, AFTER BUILDING THE FEATURE, DO I GET REVIEWS FROM THE pRoDuCt MaNaGeRs, SHOWING ME THEY WANT SOMETHING DIFFERENT FOR THE FEATURE. YOU WROTE THE FUCKING FEATURE DID YOU HAVE A CHANGE OF HEART MID THOUGHT YOU IDIOT!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I'M SO SICK OF IT I'M SICK OF WORKING 12 HOURS ON A FRIDAY FOR YOUR STUPID SHIT2 -
There are a couple:
A system that updates user accounts to connect them into our wifi system by parsing thousands of processing files written in Clojure. The project was short lived and mainly experimental, It has complete test cases and the jar generated from it is still purring silently on the main application. It was used to replace an $85k vendor application that made no fucking sense. The code has not been touched in 2 years and the jar is still there. The dba mentioned the solution to the vendor, the vendor tried buying it from me, but being that it belongs to the institution nothing was touched, still, it got the VP's attention that I can make programs that would be bought for that level, it caught his attention even more when I showed him the codebase and he recognized a Lisp variant (he is old, and was back in the day a Fortran and Cobol developer)
A small Python categorical ML program that determines certain attributes of user generated data and effectively places them on the proper categories on the main DB. The program generates estimates of the users and the predictions have a 95% correctness rate. The DBA still needs to double check the generated results before doing the db updates. I don't remember how I coded it because I was mostly drunk when I experiment on the scenario. It also got the attention of the VP and director since the web tech manager was apparently doing crazy ML shit that they were not expecting me to do, it made them paranoid that I would eventually leave for a ML role somewhere, still here, but I want more moneys!!
A program that generates PDF documentation from user data, written in Go, Python and Perl (yes Perl) I even got shit from the lead developer since I used languages outside of their current scope of work. Dude had no option but to follow along with it :P since I am his boss
Many more. I am normally proud of my work code. But my biggest moment is my current ntural language processing unit that I am trying to code for my home, but I don't have enough power to build it with my computers, currently, my AI is too stupid, but sometimes it does reply back to my commands and does the things I ask it to do (simple things, opening a browser, search for a song etc) but 7 times out of ten it wont work :P -
Listen, i really understand you want to know how much a certain resource is downloaded/viewed and so on. But what gets on my nerves is to sign up my email address every fucking time i want to see your semi-tech-but-actually-selling-you-a-pile-of-sperm-fermented-shit whitepaper . yes i know there is something called disposable email adresses and such... But if stuff is 'free' as you say you have, then make it available free!
Every time i think 'hey, this is actually relevant to my interests, let me read up more on that...' i hit the fucking 'insert your email for a free download'
Fuck off! Put your fucking form in the pits of hell and seal it in a fucking fucking dome next to fucking research subject akira with 99 fucking layers of fucking nuclear blast proof wall domes! I dont want you to fucking send me your fucking spam mails about every ideafart your sales dept has fired becausz they were high on computer cleaner spray tubes and thought 'let's trick those stupid people into our marketing scheme', go and fucking jump into a barrel of highly concentrated radioactive waste!
The only thing you manage to do for me like that is to fucking close the tab i had a slight interest in and never look back again!
Am i the only one getting angry about this?undefined always a fucking catch fuck your metrics when free isn't free signup for free stuff is bollocks2 -
I am SOOO fucking sick of being asked if our website and gaming servers are going to be GDPR compliant. All these game owners in a panic changing everything they do just to conform to this law.
Fuck GDPR. In all reality COME AT ME BITCH. The EU wants to grow a pair of balls and act like the world internet police? Bring it the FUCK on. You can't even stop pirating in your own country, so how the FUCK are you going to regulate and enforce this law on HUNDREDS of THOUSANDS of servers, when your punk ass government can't even shutdown a single torrenting website.
Give me a fucking break, and shame on you pussies for allowing it. All you people running around scared acting like your private gaming servers are important. I give a shit less how much work you put into your server. I have put more work than most anyone else, but you don't see me trying to act self important as if my gaming server is some fortune 500 company.
Your server isn't important and neither are you. The government doesn't give a shit about your server so can we all just stop acting like this fucking matters. NO ONE FUCKING CARES ABOUT YOUR SERVER.
NO ONE is going to come and sue you for not complying. GDPR is for business, and anyone that wants to argue no look it says right here it applies to all is a fucking MORON. Do you idiots stop and think or do you just believe everything typed out on paper.
THEY CANT ENFORCE THIS ON EVERYONE. They don't have the resources. So use your fucking heads and stop being so fucking scared of a law that has no resources to stop you. THEY CAN"T DO ANYTHING. EU and whoever made their polices, I DARE them to try and touch my server, I WANT them to start something with me, just so I can show the rest of the world why the Internet is still the wild west and why they have no power over me.
You think pirate bay is the only one who knows how to hide their server? You think pirate bay is the only one who keeps backups of their server to be able to re release in an instant somewhere else in the world? Bitch get real this is the internet, a place where a 5 year old can buy hand grenades from the Red Silk Road, and you wanna talk to me about your privacy? Go fuck yourself.
It's not my problem some douche bag went onto a site that used his personal information in the wrong manner. So how about you do what everyone else does and browse ANONYMOUSLY. But no it would be to easy for governments to make their own citizens responsible. Instead they have to hold all of YOUR hands, because you people are to stupid to protect yourself.
Wake the fuck up world, and stop being a bunch of whining little brats who cry for the government to bubble wrap your world so you can live safer. Natural selection is long overdue for a lot of morons still breathing air.18 -
Try to finish some of the projects I've started in 2018. Right now I have a todo list text file, along with multiple written lists (the written ones are more focused on a single project normally).
-Finish the startpage I've been doing off and on for at least a month now. I ended up making a lot of it command based (just need to write the scripts for the commands..). I had a little config menu but I just got tired of it and the text box is autofocus anyways, so I figured I'd make it command focused.
-Nice little root safety script as I call it. I've made very stupid mistakes as root before. I once made a typo and ran "chmod --recursive 644 /" while half asleep. I believe I was trying to run that on the current directory I was in, but as you know, the . and / are right next to each other. Basically the script would see what you're doing and echo "you're about to do x, are you sure that's what you want to do?". Something I know I could knock out in a day, but I've been putting it off for at least a year now.
-Compiling notification. I saw something similar once a few years ago, and it was so fucking cool. I remember it being a Mac, and it had a notification that would basically tell you how many files and shit you had left to compile if you were building something. Kinda want to build something for polybar.
-FUCKING RUBBER DUCK DEBUGGING TO THE EXTREME! This one was inspired by a comment someone made once months ago. Might have been here, or reddit, or in real life, not sure. Basically a big ass fucking rubber duck with LEDs in it that will like glow red if your code wouldn't compile (I think Visual Studio has like an automatic error detecting thing in there?? Maybe something similar if I can figure that out). Honestly not sure how the fuck I'd do this one, but I love the idea and I really want to fucking do it
There's more shit. These are just the main ones I want to attempt sometime in the near future. -
Sooooo this is the thing.
For a stupid fucking project at work we basically have to scrum manage a bunch of individual components on a rather large web app.
We start with the html and css and js bs and we all have to work on different sections of one page at a time. Large blocks right? Ok cool.
Originally I had suggested to build everything inside individual php files and then stack them up with require(). As fucking simple as fucking that. Except that the manager does not have php on her pc. The other two developer don't either. I am the only one that fucks with php OUTSIDE our fucking servers.
Go fucking figure...the lead developer does not fuck with php outside the servers.....man
So, because i know it would be a shitstorm with something as basic as installing i dunno...fucking xampp my manager said that she needs a different solution.
Fuck it...fine...whatever. i know go. So i make a fucking server wich upon being fired you can just code the templates and paste them where they need to go. Docs and everything..a sane folder structure and everything and a fucking pipleline for the assets and everything. I would have thought that shit was good enough but I even added a cmd tool that merges all the fucking html files together into one html file with all the shit included.
All in Golang. It works, its fast and i can just give them the fucking folder with the exe and it will work.
I dunno if this was the best way to do it. But it took me maybe 20 mins to do it and it works.
I would have expected our manager to be impressed but she legit did not gave two fucking shits about the fact that one of her developers is able to create this mini server for static sites shitstain project in 20 minutes.
Man I don't want praise. She thinks that jquery is the best thing in the world so I don't expect much. But shit man.......a better reaction would have been better. She basically went meh ok as long as it works.
I also showed them a demo of a flutter project to replace the shitty ass webview filled school app that they have for android and ios. Shit is native and it looks beautiful. Ask me what she said.
Go on, fucking ask me.
She said tha if it would take me much time to continue on that the she would rather leave it to the third party vendor that currently makes the app.
I told her that such shitty app costs the school 40 fucking thousand dollars a year that I could do in a fucking month, which would also be better since it would raise the salaries of me and the other 2 developers and will more importantly make us more valuable to the school.
Said that she would think about it because we have a lot of projects.
I
Fucking
Hate
It
When someone fucks with my ability to make more money. I hate it fam. And i fucking despise being limited by other people.
Fuck this week.
I am never gonna grow in here. Ever. But it pays the bills so fuck it.6 -
apple you piece of shit just let me have xcode i dont want to make a stupid fucking account, so can you fuck off?
and why do you HAVE to have billing address information to create a fuckign account or am i a retard who cant figure out how to make a fuckign account without providing it because your UI is not retard proof enough
fuck u3 -
So, might be the first time ever but I have a reasonable client. Oh wait, life isn't that nice!
Boss, stop picking fights over stupid shit with the client!
Boss, actually show up to meetings you called!
Boss, do you want to get us fired from the contract?
Boss, stop threatening the client! They hold all the chips here!
Boss, actually listen to my technical advice since you are not technical!
Boss, go die in a hole!
Boss, I want your job and paycheck you do nothing!
Boss, don't tell me you are tired and we can talk tomorrow when you kept me up until 3am the previous night then called an 8am meeting!
Boss, give everybody, including the client, more than 2 hours notice for a meeting, then get pissed when the client doesnt show. They have other meetings!1 -
Oh my dear internet,
FUCK THIS FUCKING SHIT
I AM SICK AND TIRED OF IT, WHO BUILT THIS HACKED TOGETHER ORWELLIAN SWAMP PIT?
Fuck the same fucking Envato template on every content page with 70 layers of sidebars, inline ads, popups, cookies and content shifting as if I was playing CATCH UP WITH YOUR FUCKING CONTENT.
FUCK the same fucking annual upselling 'plans' on every 7-day trial overengineered scam app that requires me to sign up for 1 fucking, falsely advertised task where my fucking password generator doesn't even recognize the input as a password field so I have to cmd+, to my FUCKING BABYLONIAN PASSWORD ARCHIVES PROMPTING ME FOR THE MASTER PASSWORD.
Thank god I can at least CREATE A BURNER CREDIT CARD THAT FREEZES ITSELF BECAUSE I CANNOT BE BOTHERED TO UNSUBSCRIBE FROM YOUR FUCKING STEAMING CRAP.
FUCK every fucking step I take being recorded by our CYBERPUNK OVERLORDS REQUIRING ME to sign up for 5 different fucking privacy protection tools' annual plan or duct tape some open source shit onto my browser just for some BASIC PRIVACY WHILE TRYING TO NAVIGATE ALL THE OTHER 5000 annuals plan naval mines like A FUCKING FRENCH SUBMARINE IN 1940 GERMAN WATERS.
FUCK my walled garden scam ecosystem not being compatible with your walled garden scam ecosystem prompting me to reactivate my old SATANIC GOOGLE DON'T BE EVIL ACCOUNT from 2012 sending me on a DANTE ALIGHIERI STYLE ODYSSEY THROUGH THE 9 LAYERS OF PASSWORD RESET QUESTIONS, UNEXPECTED ERROR, 2FA MY PHONE DIED HELL to come out on the other side as a broken man.
Thank GOD I have your useless SUPPORT PAGE to aid with my signup problems that is actually just an FAQ with a hidden EASTER EGG HUNT for your support form CRISP AI BOT THAT IS ALSO 'currently experiencing high demand due to COVID' which is peculiar since that has been 3 years ago, but fortunately for you enabled you to fire ALL YOUR SUPPORT STAFF AND REPLACE IT WITH THIS BANNER.
I might as well just SCRAPE your fucking content, it'd be faster.
And although it is quite funny, FUCK THIS PAGE TOO for having me create another of 10.000 accounts to write this shit, where my browser firmly placed a newly created burner email into the PASSWORD FIELD.
I do not know how we managed to create something that is even more unwieldy than 56k DIAL-UPS, but I know that if this shit continues I'll have to train my own AGI to proudly interact with of all this STUPID SHIT on my behalf or I'll have to move into THE FUCKING MOUNTAINS AND LIVE WITH THE DEER.1 -
Maybe it is too late for wk199 but i have interesting things that have happened recently.
1.After 3 days of panic buying shops still have stuff in them thanks to the logistic chain
2.I can finally focus on my project at home, i cant fucking belive that covid_19 did more for my education than my fucking university for past 3 years.
3.My dormitory has been captured by the military in order to be converted for quarrantine space. Noble idea IF I WAS FUCKING INFORMED BY IT BEFORE. Ok they had called me and explained thag stuff will be collected and put in separate bags so nothing will be lost... BUT THEY SAY THAT THEY MIGHT THROW AWAY FOOD
(my fridge is empty but i made a small stockpile of things like cereal or insta soups) If they will get thrown out i will GET FUCKING PISSED. Aparently that info was written in the newspaper but Im IN A OTHER CITY AND UNI ADMINISTRATION DIDNT EVEN BOTHER TO WRITE AN EMAIL.
I hope my bed sheets are going to be collected too i dont want other fuckers to be using my shit. Not only i have to share room and bathroom i realy dont want to share items.
So i hope they will do that fucking propely.
1.Collect ALL OF THE THINGS
2.Dont throw anything out
3.Segregate them from my roommates shit so it wont get mixed.
I know we should do something about that pandemic but that is just borderline stupid. YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO ACT NORMALY AND JUST WASH HANDS, NOT BRING MARSHALL LAW AGAIN POLAND!2 -
Did you ever had to integrate a fucking "API" that is done via mail bodies?
Fuck this shit! Who need responses about success or failure?! Guess this will take a long time to test this fucking piece of garbage... We don't get a test system, we need to test this with the production system of the other company. I hope their retarded application crashes when receiving malicious mails.
Not speaking about security, I bet everyone can send a mail to their stupid mail address and modify their data 🙈
And inside of this crap mail you also have to send the name, street and email of their company. Why do you fucking need this information?!1 -
I fucking hate asp.net web forms. Today we implemented listboxes, so we expected them to just be a wrapper for HTML listboxes. NOPE! They are simply selects. Why they decided to hijack the name and do this, I don't know. That does explain why they don't have multiple columns like true listboxes.
So glad that for the next project, which we should start by the end of May, we'll be moving to MVC and .Net core. This shit is so stupid!3 -
I'm shitting there hammering out some code butchering some real problems when I suddenly realise I'm surrounded. I look around and yes it's the bloody committee.
The committee is what I call the rest of the department and it is dominated by the old guard which comprises of the programmers that have been around for longer.
None of the old guard can program particularly well but because they had been around the longest they'd all grown senior. The committee had free reign but anyone else doing anything differently has to get approval from the committee.
The only way to code otherwise was to copy and paste existing code then to primarily rename things. If anyone did anything that hadn't been seen before then it would have to be approved by the committee. Individual action was not permitted unless you were old guard.
I swept my headphones away expecting it to be something unimportant. It was.
First things first they announce. We're going to add extraneous commas to the last element of all possible lists separated by comma including parameters or so they say. Ask but why so I do.
Because the language now supports it. They added support for it so it must be the right way someone proclaimed. Does it? I didn't realise we were waiting for it. Why do we want it though?
Didn't you hear? It's all over the blogosphere. It massively improves merge requests. But how I ask?
Five minutes later I grow tired of the chin stroking, elbow harnessing, slanted gazes into the yonder and occasionally hearing maybe its because and ask if they mean when you for example add an element the last element registers as changed from adding a comma. Turns out that's all it is.
How often do we see that tiny distraction and isn't it pointless to make the code ugly just for a tiny transient reduction in diff noise I ask. Everyone's stumped. This went on and on and got worse and worse. But it makes moving things around easy half of them say in unison like the bunch of slobs that they are. I mean really. It doesn't make expanding and contracting statements from multiline to single line easy and it's such a stupid thing. Is that all they do all day? Move multi-line method parameters up and down all day? If their coding conventions weren't totally whack they wouldn't have so many multiline method prototypes with stupid amounts of parameters with stupidly long types and names. They all use the same smart IDE which can also surely handle fixing the last comma and why is that even a concern given all the other outrageously verbose and excessive conventions for readability?
But you know what, who cares, fine, whatever. Lets put commas all over the shop and then we can all go to the pub and woo the ladies with how cool and trendy we are up to date with all the latest trends and fashions then we go home with ten babes hanging off each arm and get so laid we have to take a sick day the following to go to the STD clinic. Make way for we are conformists.
But then someone had to do it. They had to bring up PSR. Yes, another braindead committee that produces stupid decisions. Should brackets be same line or next line, I know, lets do both they decided. Now we have to do PSR and aren't allowed to use sensible conventions.
But why, I ask after explaining it's actually quite useful as a set of documents we can plagiarise as a starting point but then modify but no, we have to do exactly what PSR says. We're all too stupid apparently you see. Apparently we're not on their level. We're mere mortals. The reason or so I'm told, is so that anyone can come in and is they know PSR coding styles be able to read and write the code. That's not how it works. If you can't adjust to a different style, a more consistent style, that's not massively bizarre or atypical but rather with only minor differences from standard styles, you're useless. That's not even an argument, it's a confession that you've got a lump of coal where your brain's supposed to be.
Through all of this I don't really care because I long ago just made my own code generators or transpilers that work two ways and switch things between my shit and their shit but share my wisdom anyway because I'm a greedy scumbag like that.
Where the shit really hit the fan is that I pointed out that PSR style guide doesn't answer all questions nor covers all cases so what do we do then. If it's not in PSR? Then we're fucked.4 -
FUCK JEST. ITS ALL SHIT. I CANT HAVE A DIFFERENT MOCK RESULT FOR ONE TEST AND KEEP THE OTHERS THE SAME WITHOUT REWRITING THEM.
THIS IS THE REASON NOBODY REALLY WANTS TO DO TESTS, NOT BECAUSE THEYRE STUPID BUT BECAUSE THE FRAMEWORKS ARE THE PINNACLE OF CANCER THEMSELVES.7 -
MORE WEBDEV ADVENTURES
Took a break for a while due to personal stuff. Just got a job (have to get a stupid work permit from school first to actually be able to work tho), had some shit happen with two close friends that now hate me. Right now I'm upset about something that another really good friend did. So I've been doing some webdev to distract myself for a bit.
So I'm turning my URL bar that I had into a little command bar. It'll be what I use to configure stuff along with URLS and shit. I was building a little config menu that I really hated doing, was just becoming too much of a mess. Currently changing the look of it just a bit, then I'm gonna work on the functionality of it later.
Made my weather divs dynamically generated. Turned like 65 lines in the HTML file to ~20 lines of JavaScript that makes that ~65 lines. And it turns out that it doesn't really affect the loading time at all, which was my original worry. My next task for that is to save the weather predictions so the script doesn't have to grab a whole 14kb file every reload (I know, that part's a little bad). The entire page with the icons and all comes out to ~30kb so far. The icons make up about half of that, but they'll never all be in use because only 5 are on screen at any time and there are 7 total. Plus the fact that one may be in use multiple times (like this very moment actually).
Then I want to have an RSS reader which I've been putting off for a while now. Trying to get everything else done before I do that.
At this very moment, the page takes about 1.4 seconds to load. I'm trying to avoid putting anything I don't need in it. Like I'm using vanilla everything. No frameworks or anything. But that's just my personal preference.
I'll make sure to share it with you guys when I have everything built and functional. I've had a lot of interruptions while doing this. My personal life tends to get in the way of shit I try to do, because I let it get to me.
Anyways I'm just rambling at this point. I fucking love you guys1 -
OK, I know the general consensus of StackOverflow on DevRant...but jesus h christ...do devs not debug their own shit anymore? I can't say how many times I see "I get this exception...how do I fix...hurrr durrr....". When it all comes down to it, if they just attached a debugger and looked that variables/properties, they'd see what kind of stupid shit they are doing.
-
Jesus christ I need my VP and CIO to get their hands out of Azure and GCP and just let me work.
Yes, governance and security and IAM are big deals. That's why you have infraops people like me to deal with that.
I'm literally working with one hand tied behind my back because just about every button press or CLI command I need to do my damn job as a professional cloud fluffer requires me to go bother an executive and ask permission to pretty please can I deploy a new container, can you go press the shiny button? No not that one, move your mouse up...up..now UP..ok over lef-no..can I have mouse control? Sigh fine, do you see where it says "Approvers", no that says "Release Pipeline"
Look I actually kinda like this job, I do, in as much as when I have something to do I get left the fuck alone to do it. Meetings are minimal, aside from the odd days when one of our app services decides to yeet itself into the river Styx, there's little distractions.
Yeah, developers do dumb shit but that's probably best left to the notion of job security and never talked about again less they go to HR and complain that the ops guy was very stern and direct and made the developer take some accountability for their work product.
AND YET
It's so intergalactically stupid that I have to go ask permission just to do ops tasks by the same people barging down my goddamn door asking why the ops task isn't done yet.
"Because you won't give me permissions in GCP to actually DO anything".
Okay. Rant over. Time for lunch. Good meeting, see you all at the holiday party.2 -
What the fucking shit, Arch. In what universe/reality is a user expected to easily/quickly address GPG/PGP bullshit when they install Arch. It's already hilarious enough as it is for the user to input every single command in order to install the thing. -- That's actually what's great about Arch; you get return and assurance from each command. -- I understood the fact that you need the latest ISO release in order to even install Arch, but now, if you decide to pacstrap linux-hardened, or god forbid, a package that is who knows what, less maintained?... fuck knows what will happen.
The fantastic part, is that you can't do shit when you're in an arch ISO install. All of the simple and possible solutions that involve GPG DBs/keyrings/etc require you to have the all of the shit installed already; which is fucking impossible if the package manager is bitching about keys not being imported. The most fantastic part, is that there is probably some complete bullshit, ultra-exclusive command or simple solution that will fix this crap. - And if you even dare ask the Arch forums, you'll be branded as a "newbie" and sentenced to read the fucking wiki. - ??? -- That's not a fucking good thing. -- The majority of people who are installing Arch right now, are people who are installing it for the first time, and chances are, most of those people have no fucking clue what is happening; they're learning what is happening. Furthermore, they're probably the kind of people who aren't inclined (or they don't know how) to scour Google or the Arch forums for answers to vague, lazy-ass error messages. The whole point of this thing is show and confront the user about what they're installing and what they want on their computer. Holy shit. This is all the more reason to ensure that total, stupid, ambiguous bullshit errors do not occur. -- "error: key "dogshit master <dogshitmaster@dogshit.org>?" could not could not be imported". -- That's it. That's the error in it's entirety. For a fucking OS install. What the fuck.16 -
If there's something I fucking hate with all my goddamned soul is when you post something online and people get in their fucking high horse and judge you or tell you what to do
Like I understand if you're talking shit about people in the same community, then if someone tells you you're an idiot, I get it.
But if you're ranting about someone off site, then why judge this person? What's the damage being caused to you or the site?
For example, let's say I rant about my wife and the things that annoy me about her, and I use some colorful language to get it off my chest.
There's always one motherfucker, one stupid piece of shit that says something out of line.
In general it's one of these things:
* "wow, you need to calm down, you clearly treat her like shit, she is better than you*
YOU IGNORANT PIECE OF DOGSHIT. DO YOU HAVE CAMERAS IN MY HOUSE AS TO ASSUME THAT I TALK TO HER IN THE SAME MANNER AS I DID IN THIS POST?
YOU GULLIBLE SHIT EATER.
OF FUCKING COURSE I DON'T TALK TO HER LIKE THIS. I'M NOT AN ASSHOLE OR A MONSTER. I AM JUST R-A-N-T-I-N-G.
AND I RANT IN THIS MANNER SO AS TO GET IT OFF MY CHEST AND NOT FIGHT WITH HER. AND IT TENDS TO WORK. DOES IT REALLY NEED TO BE EXPLAINED?
Jaysus fucking christ. These people actually have the imagination of a fish, they can't fucking connect the dots.
Judging someone online is an egotistical thing. People like to judge others because of that morality high. It's the snack of the morally lazy.
Repeat with me: "I am flawed too, I have problems too. I should never judge others easily, let alone without full fucking context".
* "op, you should do <terrible advice>"
these ones are better, because they are trying to help, but still annoying as fuck.
they come in two forms:
old smug and condescending washed up idiots who overrate their life lessons and think they are applicable to every person A PRIORI.
yeah, fuck case by case analysis, these dinosaurs think they're the wise elders of the village.
Age does not immediately mean your advices are valid, your advices are valid on the sole merit of being valid by themselves.
I don't give 2 fucks if you're 60 or 120. If your advices are bullshit, please spare me the idiocy and the lack of case analysis.
I had old people tell me "trust me kid, happy wife, happy life" wtf is that shit? MY WIFE IS NOT YOUR WIFE.
YOU DON'T KNOW MY WIFE. MY WIFE IS ACTUALLY COOL, BUT SHE COULD BE AN ACTUAL PSYCHO AND I COULD BE OMITTING THAT FROM MY POST.
THEREFORE, HAPPY WIFE HAPPY LIFE IS A TERRIBLE THING TO SAY.
JUST STFU.
This reminds of that disgusting reddit post where a father asked advice on /r/relationships about her wife, and people told him "dude, duh, divorce her".
Guess what, she ends up murdering both of her children.
You would think such post would serve a lesson as to be careful giving advice online. But no, people think they're fucking dr phil or something with EXTREMELY LITTLE case knowledge.
People need to talk a bit less and listen a whole lot more.
You want to know how to help a person who is expressing problems?
You want to know how to be REALLY conpassionate?
Just listen. You can give minimal advice, but listening is the most important, with some occasional "i feel you man".
Everytime a journalist asks a suicide disuader what do they do, they always say the same " i just listen to their problems".
ITS NOT FUCKING ROCKET SCIENCE FOLKS. YOU WANT TO KNOW HOW TO BE A GOOD PERSON? CLOSE THE MOUTH AND TAKE THE WAX OUTTA YA EARS.
There's also the younger ones who think they can help when they don't even have no experience at all.
This is being naive, but I Iike that more than the smugness of old people.12 -
Hello and welcome to COMPANY! Where our release process is more complicated than writing the goddamned code. Enjoy using our shitty undocumented, proprietary tools to create change requests and then thrill as it takes days to do anything!
Seriously, fuck this stupid shit. Who's grand idea was this. I am a developer, not a paper pusher.3 -
"Tips" are fucking stupid. Any waiter or anyone who expects me to "tip" them is a fucking clown hobo. Full disrespect
You're telling me i should pay you extra money or else you're not gonna do YOUR job right? A job where you already receive stable monthly salary?
Whoever standardized "tipping" is a fucking CLOWN. Must have been a restaurant business paying billions for this marketing scam to normalize as if tipping 2$ is normal
Who the fuck are you? Are you my fucking friend? A relative? A family member? Why the fuck should i pay you extra money just because you want some extra money?
Guess what fucktard. I want some extra money too. Has anyone ever tipped me in my job? No. Has a client or will a client who paid for a software i develop ever tell me "hey youve done such a great job heres some extra $$$"? No. Will a client ever tell me "hey your software earned me 100k$ heres a $100 tip or a $1000 tip"? NO
If i dont get tips Fuck you. Rough world and live with it.
Anyone who wants or expects tips I immediately view him as:
- beggar
- gypsy
- homeless
What the fuck are you gonna do with 2$ 5$ 10$ tip bro? You're broke and your job sucks go and learn some skill and you might earn more if you're so stubborn about a tip
Today i paid for coffee $7 but the price was 6.25$. Expecting a change, the waiter just went off. I told him give me my fucking 0.75$ back you fuck. And so he did. But he gave me back 0.7$. Where the fuck is my 0.05$????? Fucking retard. You want to take extra money from me just for a COFFEE. YOURE HOMELESS BRO TF U GONNA DO WITH 5 CENTs???
Also the reason why i get so pissed off about this is
1) The other day i was at some other coffee shop also paying for coffee. Dont remember the price but i paid. However i miscalculated. I paid 0.10$ less than i was supposed to. She was standing there and telling me I'm missing 10 Fucking cents. Confused, i calculated again and realized i made a mistake. So i round it up to 1$ instead of 0.10$ and she kept everything instead of giving me the change of 0.90$. So its NOT ok that you're a gypsy for not accepting the payment because its missing 10 cents, but its TOTALLY fine that you take 0.90$ extra money just because you want to. GET FUCKED
2) The other day i was in a store buying food. At the cashier i paid $27. However i was missing 0.02$. The cashier told me do you have 0.05$ to coverup the missing funds. In disbelief, i was looking at her could not believe my fucking eyes what she asked. How fucking POOR can you get. I gave her more than 2 fucking cents and proceeded with my shit
Very valuable shit i learned from these stories: NO ONE will give a shit to accept a payment even if its missing 1 FUCKING CENT. But its totally fine that they dont return me however much they dont want to.
How about you sometimes fucking say "hey i know you you come to this store very often heres a discount"???
Or "its fine that you dont have 0.01 fucking dollars, you can take your food"???
Or "hey i seen you buy here often heres a fucking discount just for you today"????
Because of that i have decided to take ALL of my fucking hard earned money and ask for the exact change. I dont give a FUCK just as much as THEY dont give a FUCK.
For reference:
0.01$ = 1 in my currency
0.90$ = 90 in my currency
27$ = 2900 (4 figures) in my currency
My currency is shit. My country is shit. People in my city are shit. The whole vibe here is shit. And perhaps that is why i shit so much because i get stuffed with too much daily BULLSHIT12 -
(was just talking to Root now, and it reminded me of this)
You know what I fucking hate about Android phones? They do stupid shit like update your keyboard WHILE you are typing. Hate Apple as I may for having inferior hardware and ridiculous pricing, the iPhone is more worth having than Android. I simply find the features a lot better executed on iPhone than Android, almost across the board4 -
Someone tell me should I just give up because I'm stupid and simple shit escapes me or tell me bro calm the fuck down the guy is full of shit...
Dude says he can't verify 3rd statement in a nested IF - elseif logic because the third check for a false condition is the True condition in the first 2 statements.
So
If (mode) = manual and then
Data(g) /= Status1
Or else Data(g) = Invalid
Then
Do this thing that sounds cool
Elsif
Data(g) = Status1
And then Data(g) /= Invalid
Then
Do something else equally cool
Elsif (mode) /= manual
and then Data(g) /= Invalid
and then Data(g) /= Status1
Then
Do some less cool stuff
end if4 -
A dedicated team has built an "infrastructure" for creating UI for c++ developers in the company. What looks like a poor attempt at recreating what Microsoft did with XAML at first glance, it actually is a horrible exercise in force feeding people the stinking pile of shit that their code is.
The idea is to make it easy to create UI for developers who aren't used to front end development. They should just need to declare the layout. Very noble.
But.
If you want to do anything more than show a checkbox or a radio button, if you dare to define relationships between the UI controls or worse, if you get ambitious with creating a simple UI that uses a lot of similar controls and similar relationships with dynamic content... be prepared to eat your own barf from eating too much of their shit.
Not only do you now need to write front end code (including JS among others), you need to do it with limited or poor support and you have to make sure that it sits well with the house of moist, crumbly cards the team proudly created. Or resort to some very stupid and performance costing "bypasses" that further cripple your application code. Usually you have to do both of these things.
To think that scores of other teams have welcomed this amazing enhancement with full support without any resistance. It's sickening.
I waste too much of energy (and good jokes!) with these people.rant poor infra complicated as fuck punch holed abstractions we do what we want brain farts materialized in code no brains needed4 -
I haven't touched my OpenVPN server configuration in almost a year. Everything seemed to "just work" the way I wanted it.
I have now just found out that all ipv6 DNS queries were actually going to the wrong ip.
Why am I such a magnet for stupid shit like this?
Every time I try to do something beautiful, elaborate, complex, I always get some small shitty detail wrong.
It's like "close, but no cigar".
Every.
Single.
Time.
Sigh
Bonus fun fact: I only found out thanks to Windows' DNS leak feature. Thanks, Windows!5 -
Let's say you're working on some pretty complex JavaScript code, and it's just not working right, nothing you try seems to fix it and you can't figure out what's going on. So, rather than continuing to bang your head against the desk, you decide to do the smart thing and shut down for the day.
You then come back to it the next day, refreshed and ready to do battle with the code! You start by adding a few simple logging statements to see what the hell is going on.
You then run the code and... IT WORKS PERFECTLY?!
You scratch your head for a while before finally realizing that cache didn't get cleared yesterday, so your changes were never executing.
D'oh!
Do you:
(A) Beat yourself up for missing such a stupid and basic thing despite doing this shit for literally over 25 years now, or:
(B) Do a happy dance because you just got a free day and can effectively start the weekend early knowing you accomplished your goal for the week?
(or, I suppose, both, which is kind of where I land)6 -
Sometimes I really feel humiliated in my lab.
We have several presentation/discussion groups in my lab that meet once a week or so where members present their progress reports. Generally people in my lab are not so enthusiastic about them. Which is okay, I also don't like doing presentations, but you know, you have to improve somehow and get feedback somehow.
So I've been in a really passive group for a while and I decide to join this other group since they seem to have good discussions, but nope fuck me.
The first time I present, the professor doesn't show up since he has some meeting, so obviously nobody cares to show up. And I'm there presenting for a guy who is half comatose. Alright, I guess that's the price for joining a new team, it's gonna get better next time.
Second time. Spent all night to prepare my presentation and been training my model for two weeks. I am actually really happy with the results of my networks. But the enjoyment of showing some good results, I shall not have.
Meeting leader doesn't show up. Two guys who should present don't show up. Professor doesn't show up. A different professor substitutes him and has no idea what I am talking about and asks stupid questions that don't really have an answer. Fuck me, I'm so angry, this shit is a waste of time. If you don't show up, care to fucking send an email or a message on slack, but guess you're too fucking retarded to even do that.
I'm so done with this. I've gotten better feedback from reddit, than what I've cumulatively gotten from my laboratory. I'm a moment away from walking up to the meeting leader and telling him that the meetings are stupid and a waste of time. Don't get me wrong, my professor is really nice and knowledgeable, but he fails to see that some people in the laboratory are shit.
What do I do? How do I deal with these people? Right now they're planning a trip! Why are you planning a trip? WHAT ARE YOU REWARDING YOURSELVES FOR? YOU HAVE DONE NOTHING IN WEEKS? omfg3 -
Fuck I feel fucked up just for completing user account management, authentication, email verification, password reset. Securing all of this with ssl and checking for any security loopholes.
I can't believe this took me more than a couple months.
Well I was lazy and unmotivated.
I fucking hate crafting stupid ass routes in nginx.
I fucking hate making a nice responsive gui.
I have to design even the stupid html for the emails. Fuuuuck.
So much boilerplate on top of that with username and email validation.
I learnt regex 5 times over the past couple months, still not enough.
And now I actually have to build the functional part.
On the plus side I can reuse this stupid boilerplate if I can make it more modular and readable.
There's shit ton of comments to the point where I feel like an idiot for including so much info. It's like I've written it for a toddler to take over.
Gawd. Anyways it's over now. 50% I guess.
I can finish the rest of the server more quickly and then spend another year designing the Android application.
I'm really lazy in places where I have to design UI/UX. Although at this point it's kinda what could put my application at the top. (I'm lazy, I ain't bad.. I just hate implementing my ideas I wish I could just visualize and have it appear on my screen)
I do like parts of gui that involve little math problems that would make motion smooth and efficient. -
I wanted to accomplish new things today.
Instead I'm swimming in:
"This worked before"
- No it never worked that way, you want it to, but it never ever ever has done that thing NOT EVEN CLOSE.
"The thing..."
- Wtf is the god damn 'thing'? How could anyone possibly know what you're talking about? How do you go about life like this?
"How come we can't make it do X?"
- Because the code can't read your god damn mind, that shit isn't in the database, you don't update it and your laundry list of minor fixes for one time or non issues has resulted in you getting coded into a maze of stupid custom code so deep you're NEVER GETTING OUT!!!!
"Is your timezone before or after our timezone?"
- I DON'T FUCKING KNOW, I JUST TOLD YOU MY TIMEZONE, DO YOU EVEN FUCKING KNOW YOUR TIMEZONE?!?!?!? IF YOU CAN'T BE BOTHERED TO LOOK UP YOUR FUCKING TIMEZONE I SURE AS HELL AM NOT!!!2 -
Well. I'm stressed and a bit sick so let me tell you this you fuckers: I don't want to play in your little mindfucking game where everything is about efficiency, money and who has the biggest dick around.
Usually I'm the idealistic, positive kind of guy who spreads love and lets people do their things as long as they just don't fuck with him.
Right now though, just go fuck yourself in your damn stupid car you fancy fucker because I don't care about your big dick you have to show off on every occasion. I don't give a fuck about your big paycheck or your smart ass. I'm so sick of this industry mouse wheel and modern slavery where it is made extra hard to enjoy our lives and unfold who we really wanna be because some stupid asshead is not able to fill his hollow emptiness with bare love but has to swallow loads of cash instead giving him the craziest form of diarrhea.
Com'on! We kind of tamed the planet. We put so much effort and created a huge system with so many securities and still we are not able to simply live freely, share love, opinions and great ideas. Why is it still so common to define yourself about your projects, paycheck and false effort? Instead of how much good you give to others, how self-consistent you are, how good you treat yourself?
All I want from you is a bit honesty to yourself. How about being nicer to yourself, letting your love unfold for the sake of releasing that love to the world?
For me you will be a hero!
Notes:
I believe that the personal happiness is influenced not only by your surroundings but mostly how you interact with it. Karma basically. So yeah, normally I'd say you can simply decide to ignore that shit, walk on your path and decide to be what you want to be no matter what dickheads cross your path, but honestly I just had to get that rant out because this ridiculous nonsense makes me so sick right now.
I'm successful right now. I have the privilege to decide on being happy and I know that not everyone has this privilege. I believe, spreading love will also spread this privilege.
That said, have a nice day!4 -
I am honestly flattered by the fact that @scor really, unironically thinks that “by the frequency and varsity and depth you post and comment and self imaging”, I can't be a single person, and there is a whole TEAM behind me!
Honestly, I don't care about insults. Neither yours, nor of that schmuck that is salty because he posted some stupid misogynic shit a while ago, I reposted it as a screenshot, and he was obliterated by the community.
I'm only posting this because people out there legitimately think I'm a hive mind. It's not every day that you're told whatever you do cannot be done by one person. To me, this is more of a compliment.
Looking past devRant, I would like to meet @scor and other haters IRL. I have no hard feelings. I'm just an autistic person with bipolar disorder. I post whatever I want, as it's somewhat therapeutic.
You don't have to acknowledge it, but here's an honest, personal message: if you at any point compare yourself to me and lose, remember, my personality and creativity is a negligent, slight payoff for a literal hell that is a mental disorder. My thoughts are thinking themselves. I can't control them. My body is twitching constantly. I'm both actively anxious and always tired. My intellect suffers a massive penalty in a depressive phase, like now.
Finding at least some positive side to that hellscape is absolutely vital, and any person with a disorder can tell you that.
The fact that I'm social, I have friends and a job is a miracle. I'm privileged. I've seen a lot of people less lucky than me. They weren't able to monetize their troubled, sharp brain. I was.21 -
oh my goodness if I dhsfjhsjfhj
i can barely type right now im so frusterated
I've told my manager multiple times that I don't feel comfortable with the task hes trying to give me because it feels way too large (its designing/programming/testing/documenting an entire prototype cloud file sync application and server backend service on my own, replacing one we have had for several years) and he still just ignores me and persists that I should be thankful for the opportunity and challenge.
It pisses me off so much when people say dumb shit like, 'its a great opportunity to learn' at work. No it isn't. Your boss is going to be on your fucking case for taking too long or not delivering enough, and thats exactly what happened. He got upset and said he was expecting more things to have been written down by now, like design notes. I was just fuming. Design notes? I'm not even a freaking designer, I've never designed any type of big software ever, what the fuck do you want from me.
On top of that, I don't know where the hell he expects me to get time for this. I'm apparently also devops so I get yoinked off of anything im doing if some stupid thing breaks in some other environment about something I really don't even care about. Any other random ass task just gets dumped on me too. I'm supposed to be a 'junior developer', and get paid as such (i've wanted to go to the intermediate level but get told the title doesn't actually matter and no pay raise for you) but I get the responsibilties of a whole fucking team dumped on me and its just
do I just quit now? I'm just, for fuck sakes man4 -
My employer has an application for product ordering/maintenance. Sounds pretty normal. It's an Excel spreadsheet that uses VBA to do the work, with a ton of SQL functions for row validation and procedures for database functions.
The guy that wrote it was a contractor who left the company well over 5 years ago.
No one on my team knows VBA. Me being the new guy gets tasked with this shitty VBA application's upkeep. Any time one of the braindead users fat fingers a value and the form blows up, I'm responsible for telling them exactly why they are stupid and sometimes I have to fix it for them because of the protections on the spreadsheet.
I've been asking the business to back a project for my team to develop a replacement but there is already so much happening for IT at my workplace, and my team is so under staffed (3 devs? Really?) That we spend most of our time fixing broken old shit.
We get an intern next month. Hopefully things improve soon because this tucking time bomb application sucks for everyone involved.3 -
TLDR;
Side project update.
Made simple nlp library in python and published it’s first version to open source.
Now I can feed it with parsed pdf text.
See rant https://devrant.com/rants/2192388/...
Why ?
Cause during reading book about nltk I couldn’t find simple extendible way to provide support for polish language and I wanted to abstract stemming, word normalization, tokenizer etc. so I can provide ex. different conditions for separate text files and don’t write much code what is an asset when you work solo.
It’s about 12GB of pdf public accessible law data I am trying to handle ( at first ) which is about 35000 files from last 90 years.
So far I automated downloading web pages and pdf documents from them. Extracting data from web pages and saving it to database. Extracting text from pdf files. I have about 5-6 projects to do all of it above maybe at the end I will put it to some workflow manager like Luigi or just run it by cronjob.
First thing for website version 1.0 part is find correlation between all documents inside law text using nlp library by building custom conditions. Then just generate directory structure and html files with links between documents.
Website version 2.0 is already in my mind but it will be creepy to make it and will take at least 1-2 months and I want to publish fast.
I have some pdfs with only images instead of text and tesseract worked quite good with them so maybe I will try to process them when everything go live.
Learned a lot about pdf as now I know that font in pdf is not always providing unicode characters ( stupid form of obfuscation) so when you extract text you need to build glyph vector to text map for every font.
Pdf is full vector representation - just like svg - what is logic if you think a bit and know that some printers are running using postscript.
Let’s hope next update will be about flutter mobile app which started all of shit above. It’s almost ready ( except getting data from api I am trying to do and logo for release version ). It’s last piece of puzzle.3 -
1/2 dev and a fair warning: do not go into the comments.
You're going anyway? Good.
I began trying to figure out how to use stable diffusion out of boredom. Couldn't do shit at first, but after messing around for a few days I'm starting to get the hang of it.
Writing long prompts gets tiresome, though. Think I can build myself a tool to help with this. Nothing fancy. A local database to hold trees of tokens, associate each tree to an ID, like say <class 'path'> or some such. Essentially, you use this to save a description of any size.
The rest is textual substitution, which is trivial in devil-speak. Off the top of my head:
my $RE=qr{\< (?<class> [^\s]+) \s+ ' (?<path>) [^'] '\>}x;
And then? match |> fetch(validate) |> replace, recurse. Say:
while ($in =~ $RE) {
my $tree=db->fetch $+{class},$+{path};
$in=~ s[$RE][$tree];
};
Is that it? As far the substitution goes, then yeah, more or less. We have to check that a tree's definition does not recurse for this to work though, but I would do that __before__ dumping the tree to disk, not after.
There is most likely an upper limit to how much abstraction can be achieved this way, one can only get so specific before the algorithm starts tripping balls I reckon, the point here is just reaching that limit sooner.
So pasting lists of tokens, in a nutshell. Not a novel idea. I'd just be making it easier for myself. I'd rather reference things by name, and I'd rather not define what a name means more than once. So if I've already detailed what a Nazgul is, for instance, then I'd like to reuse it. Copy, paste, good times.
Do promise to slay me in combat should you ever catch me using the term "prompt engineering" unironically, what a stupid fucking joke.
Anyway, the other half, so !dev and I repeat the warning, just out of courtesy. I don't think it needs to be here, as this is all fairly mild imagery, but just in case.
I felt disappointed that a cursed image would scare me when I've seen far worse shit. So I began experimenting, seeing if I could replicate the result. No luck yet, but I think we're getting somewhere.
Our mission is clearly the bronwning of pants, that much is clear. But how do we come to understand fear? I don't know. "Scaring" seems fairly subjective.
But I fear what I know to be real,
And I believe my own two eyes.11 -
I swear business people are so stupid. They take us off of a real priority programming project and then tell us to stop and send emails to gather reporting data.
I am a developer...not an email jockey. Get someone with a business degree and nothing better to do to do this shit. -
Sometimes I really hate offshore desktop support... yes I know Visual Studio 15 was installed, and works. But now Python tools was uninstalled in a forced update that corrupted my VS and now I can't install PTVS(not that I need VS has the vim emulator that I can install at work, it's a whole mess of weird security policies.) fucking hate windows and visual studio. Fucking listen what Im telling you the issue is. I need your dumbass to uninstall this shit software so I can do a clean install since the shitty as software management system doesn't so shit when it say's "uninstalling".
On a side note, this fuckwit just tried to explain what the screenshot tool and how to use it... it's only pinned to my taskbar and menu for shits and gigs since I don't use it everyday to tell the stupid data entry analysts I deal with to fuck off. -
#Story time.
Been working on a project for 2 months with Colleague "Jim" doing the code reviews. Project is finished in a stable form and can be extended if needed. Then my other colleague/boss "Mo" decided that we need to do a refactor. Fast forward a bit and the conclusion is "Mo" and "Jim" are going to discuss every step with me. And we started a new project that should do the same as the project I just finished
Here some facts:
Every day a meeting/ code review / discussion.
Decisions they make I do not agree with.
I need to redo my work multiple times.
Now this does make me look like a toddler that needs supervision which is not the case.
They want something future proof and something that fits his new coding standard "Mo". and certain things I do agree with and is clearly the better architecture. however somethings are just stupid, time wasting, making it worse. I'm getting so frustrated by the fact that billion dollar companies have clear coding standards that work. and are correct. and this company decided to do their own thing of stupid rules!
- shorten variables
- Keep lines under 90char
- put multiple things in 1 file
- Keep function names short
and many more of removing stuff and let you guess stuff..
I just... *sigh* get so tired of this shit.
*names are randomly chosen2 -
Windows is so fucking stupid. Why do I HAVE to enable "Do nothing" when my lid is closed for it to be able to output to my external display while my lid is closed. Ubuntu can easily recognise that I want to use my external display and will keep my laptop running as long as it has an HDMI to a connected source.
It really fucking pisses me off I have to change my power options everyday. Seriously fuck windows. The only thing keeping me on Windows is Visual Studio, I hope they are able to port VS and the full .NET framework entirely on Linux so this shit OS can just be dead forever.3 -
I feel fucking stupid about using a custom node system at work. It is designed to generate an xml file for configuration. However, when using a node I cannot add more to the node unless the node has data. So I gotta call a function to inject useless XML into the node for it to not be empty. I literally set the internal data to <key></key>. It is stupid and I hate it. Just let me create my node hierarchy damn it!
Is this some weird data pattern I should know about? Like what does preventing adding data to an empty structure do? I have the root node. Is that not enough. Remember, this is custom node system that is probably fucking 20 years old. The previous coders did a lot of walled garden shit that I also hate. Prevents reuse of code. This code might just be more of that shit.1 -
Follow up on yesterday's rant: by the end of today I had version "stupid" running. Now off to making it smart.
... and I'm really feeling burnt out. Smoked a crapton to get my brain working. Now wishing there was someone I could call or talk to, just so I could feel normalcy. Just so I could feel like I'm not spending my days fighting a battle. Cuddles would be nice too. (it's not that there's no one, there's just no one without a baggage or string or expectations or limits or idk)
Also, part of the robot arm is breaking apart and I have to make sure shit doesn't go haywire when we repair it tomorrow. 😑
I love what I do but damn it burns my brain to crisps.4 -
Exercise do the pyramid of * and I looked up how to do it but so many people are able to do it without looking it up I dont know why shit to do with nested for loops makes me feel so dumb.
I know it's not a big deal to not know how to do every single thing but I'm always even stuck on the smallest exercises that apparently more people can do than not. Like how am I supposed to have thought about that or figured that out. How am I supposed to learn all this shit. Like for example just look up a list of basic exercises and I cant do any of them. I'm not good at this and its stressing me out because how will I get better or hell even a job if I cant solve these simple problems? How am I supposed to get better at solving these simple problems? I cant just keep looking at the fucking solution because that wont stick or teach me anything
Most stupid thing to rant about by far4 -
So Docker is pretty amazing, but I'm finding myself immensely frustrated at all the stupid shit devs do with their Dockfiles and stacks. Like the surprise of finding out Jenkins clients aren't setup for SSH or stacks opening up 5 public ports when all they really need are a bunch of private ports. Or how Jenkins deployments expect crazy tags so I have to add some really stupid tags to my own nodes.
How is it so hard to comprehend Docker for devs? It's so easy that I'm in utter bliss when I stop trying to use 3rd party stacks.1 -
Fuck you Spring and your stupid cryptic, useless, no relevant information error messages.
"Oh I am crashing violently because some of my internal component cannot automagically talk to another my internal component" says spring.
Well shit, why do I let you manage your own dependencies if I still need to hunt down what garbage transitive dependency you bring in 5 time.
YOU HAD ONE JOB!!!3 -
"uhhh, whenever I want to install something on windows, it works unlike x"
MAN GO FUCK YOURSELF.
WINDOWS STOPS WORKING RANDOMLY. SOME APPLICATIONS ARE JUST PEW GONE.
YESTERDAY, I COULD PLAY LOL. TODAY, I NEED TO SPEND HOURS TRYING TO FIX IT.
"JUST REINSTALL"
YOU STUPID SACK OF SHIT, DO YOU KNOW HOW OFTEN I REINSTALLED WINDOWS?
DOTA IS BETTER
yeah, maybe. 2hard for me tho3 -
In
https://devrant.com/rants/4221216/...
Hes discussing confidence and I wanted to talk about that for a moment, from a guy who struggled with it a lot growing up.
Half of confidence is headfaking yourself into distracting the lizard brain portion that didn't evolve for the last ten thousand years of rabid human social change and thus detects a bunch of social interactions as varying forms of threats.
Same way NLP works, or stupid shit like seduction, or sales techniques.
It's all about slowing down and distracting yourself with the process.
People that do all this dont realize the trick is you're thinking less because you've slowed down and this comes off as confidence.
Think about it. What do nervous people do? Either talk way less, and/or when they *do*, talk fast and lack certainty. What does confidence techniques and all that shit do? Causes you to slow down, follow process which makes answers clearer usually, and causes you to speak more freely (even if its more structured).
Thats the entire game.
Give yourself time to think and room to answer, to think of a question and formulate a response. Assume nothing while you do so.
One trick I use that boils *all* the other processes down is this: Anything you go to say, pause, look the person in the eye, and wait 1-2 seconds to respond. Remember to blink, and remember to gesture as you normally would.
Treat every conversation as a casual dialogue over coffee with a friend discussing colors of paint for a kitchen. Its a slow process isn't it?
Same thing with any other conversation. People will find you a lot more deliberate, confident, warm and unassuming.3 -
I'm hungry and suddenly I have an urge to waste money on some stupid shit like a new ipad or 4k monitor but then I remember that the new paycheck will bitch slap me in the face if I do that, so back to hungry. =.=
-
What the fucking shit is up with clang invoking gcc???
If I wanted gcc I would have called gcc, now do your damn work and stop doing stupid shit
The only thing I want to do is compile some c to a static lib. I've already wasted the entire day on this fucking bullshit. fuckckaf3 -
omg, I hate my managers who always make engineering design decisions, literally, my manager made shortcuts and decisions that I told him not to do, now we have to live with this shit. which can be fine, but then in 1:1 he tells me that I have a short-term vision, I am like hello you stupid piece of shit, don't you remember telling us what to do and we pushed back to you for all the dumb decisions you have made. my manager has no idea about technology and yet people listen to him for engineering decision, stupid.5
-
So this is the story of myself getting from hating vim to find it pretty good.
When i started fiddling around with linux i was literally overrun by vim. I mean how the fuck should i remember all these stupid commands.
So there we go ... nano was my favourite (and only) editor i used.
Everything was fine in my little nano world. I saw some colleague editing every damn thing in vim. I asked him "man what the fuck are you damn crazy"? And thats where till that moment the deepest conversation about an editor in my life began. He told me he could do that much with vim, its almost everywhere nowadays and a must for any admin.
So after letting him tell me about every thing you can do he promised me he is going to help me getting started quicker. And i must say boi vim is really awesome. But for "real" development i still use a ide. Although i find myself programming go, python or bash scripts entirely in vim and its not that bad.
So if you find your way through the deep shit of that single damn command input down there you can get a pretty decent editor.
Dont get me wrong i am forced to use nano sometimes, when i help some of friends with their servers or so and they litterally uninstalled vim because they were to frustrated.
So as i am started to go into the devops area you get more and more towards you have to edit a file on a server, or just tweak around before automating the shit out of it.
And i must say vim has become a solid alternative for me to a full blown ide, or any other text editor.
So yeah i am gone from freaking hating vim to using it almost everyday. But why some people out their treat vim like a religion is not understandable to me in any way.
So whats your story why do you hate/love vim? Or are you just like me a "happy user" that would switch to another editor anytime it would be a better fit?3 -
some call
- yo bro do you have some time ?
- quick cause I'm taking a dump
- I think I have been hacked, got black screen kernel panick, linux freeze seldomly I have to reboot, no internet connexion
- save your stuff and reinstall linux
- I don't have enough stockage to backup
- Then buy one and save, probably either OS is fcked up or you have some hdd problems
Time that it will take: ~30min to reinstall whole shit
Peace duration: ~2years
Later on the same day
aunt
- I can't log into windows
- Did you change the password ?
- Yes but it does not work anymore
* looking at shit
* logs successfully. Reason: interface changed after automatic update.
* wait.
* wait some more so fucking windows fucking starts
* Desktop is ugly as fck.
* Some stupid settings messed up (like high contrast set, black theme or so)
aunt (the same)
- I can't log into my (other) laptop either
* logs
* wait more more more
Guess what: automatic updaaaates. Freezes 100%cpu
* Being a very experienced user: wait before reboot because this suckass os will probably fail to boot otherwise
* Blackscreen with a percentage: Installing updates...
* reboots
* Blackscreen with a percentage: Installing updates continuing...
* finally boot (feels like a miracle windows succeeds lol)
* still slow
aunt now sleeps
* look at running process and install programs
* sees shits like camera recognition (vendor installed), candycrush
* occasionnaly get adds
time lost: 2h
peace duration: ~3month
FFS I am a dev, not a fucking trash lover
It is already pain to fix someone os, but windows is the cream of cream
It brings no ease of use for novice user
It is so insanely slow
It has stupid settings set up by default!!!!!!!! Who FFS wants candycrush and ads
The maj are so fcking hazardous. It is 2022 pretty much the same as 15y back then. Updates take fucking eternity. And needs reboot. and are not even finished!!!
I swear I am gonna stretch my ass and install linux and any fckin other toolsuite needed so they can use Micro$$ word, which is the only fucking usecase they need windows for in the first case anyway
I SO wish this OS would die
I mean, even more than safari7 -
Day 2 of my new job done. Still going over courses and doing jack shit. Today the hiring manager told me to play a game. I have to buy gifts to the girl thats in my office (lol what) and she also has to buy gifts to me in return (wtf and im still getting paid to do nothing), the company will pay for these gifts with a limited budget
Both of us had to fill out a form such as hobbies movies food drinks and if we believe in santa claus
Told this to my hot blonde gf that i have to buy gifts for another girl and she got so jealous. She literally asked me "but what do u need her for" lmao
As she should. Love seeing her jealous and mad -- but only because she disrespected me several times in the year 2023. several times caught her lying to me. Rude behavior from time to time. Always bitching and complaining with the most idiotic phrases and I'll quote "i hate how some kids younger than me are just born in a wealthy multi millionaire billionaire family and they're automatically rich and successful and dont have to do anything in life anymore while i have to struggle and work and never be successful like they are. Im so jealous of them" she keeps complaining about this majority of the time. I got really fucking annoyed. Shes stupid as fuck
And then compared to listening to that dumb shit, i met this girl, who works in the backend part, smart, beautiful, doesnt fucking bitch and complain about such obnoxious bullshit we cant control, works a 9-5 and gets her shit together. She even told me today "u dont have to buy me any of those gifts I'd be really grateful if you can just buy me some tissues for my nose cause i got a small flu haha" she even got the jokes! that was such a humble request.
Now compare that to the behavior of my spoiled blonde gf. Tf?
Im not even complaining by working a 9-5. Im actually very surprised. Everyone in the company is very nice to me and polite. Everyone is very friendly. Im getting paid even by not working shit, just sitting and watching courses to pass a devops cloud certification that the company will also pay for me
Whats going on7 -
Do you prefer:
$order->getShippingAddressCountry();
or
$order->getShippingCountry();
Fuck me, being a perfectionist slows me down.
Beign stuck on: Save that shit as address_shipping_country or shipping_country is purely stupid, i know.6 -
Today I learned that in our team, where we usually process data for runtime usage through batch scripts, which is the dumbest shit anyone can think of, someone decided to do data processing through VBA inside an excel file.
So that proves, regardless of how bad a solution is, an even more stupid solution is still possible.
At least it's not documented, so my hope is no one will see and copy it. -
Just started playing Rust again after like 9 years and holy shit is this game not noob friendly at all
I play(ed) on a relatively chill server where raiding is only enabled in the last week before wipe every month and it's not too many people playing
So I'm out on adventure, I come back and my entire base is raided... Uhm okay, I did sort of have an uneasy feeling that I left the door open when I left so okay, my dumb mistake. Lesson learned: Always make sure doors are definitely closed
So I farmed hours more to get all my stuff back, repaired a vehicle, built a nice little garage, upgraded all my windows to reinforced windows so that nobody can interact with the car or my horse inside the house, just in case that allows you mount and get in the house that way, no clue
This day I log back in. Base completely cleaned the fuck out again
Actually what the fuck man. I did *everything* right, made sure every door is locked and closed, replaced all accessible windows with reinforced ones, had 27 days of upkeep materials and still, my entire progress of 10 hours of playing is gone again
What did I do wrong? After talking with people in chat apparently I had wooden frames for the doors, which apparently are just always destroyable by anyone... Even on a damn server where raiding is disabled. Yea sure makes sense
I like Rust but holy shit, this core game mechanic of raiding is still one I cannot get over. It's so stupid to be cleaned out over night while you're not even online. It's just fucking frustrating to start all over AGAIN farming and farming and farming. I didn't really want to play because the game always looked like a meta gaming sweat fest and this just proves that it's exactly that. You have to know every single meta game mechanic to even have your damn base survive overnight
On a positive note I did figure out that unity's concurrent garbage collection doesn't seem to be a big problem for a proper fps game though, so that's something4 -
So a bit ago I posted a rant saying that I would be getting ElementaryOS onto my computer and trying it out, buckle up kiddos because this goes to shit in just a moment.
I did everything right, used Rufus correctly and didn't destroy my computer nor my installer, good! I set it up, get everything going and everything is running smoothly. One problem... I couldn't download **any** programs that weren't from the Ubuntu Store, which really annoyed me because I like to use Brackets, and I couldn't find it in the UStore...
So I messed up **really** bad here... I didn't *format* my Elementary Installer, but tried to delete the files like a pleb and stick an Ubuntu ISO in it's place, I didn't even think on going through Rufus again, I just slapped that shit in there without a thought.
I restart my computer, I read a forum stating that I would get an option that allows Ubuntu (or another Linux distro) to take over the partition of a previous distro. Neat! Another bloody problem is that I decided to use "Win + R" and manually delete the Elementary partition **myself**... What is even wrong with me...
So I restarted it, and before my father left to go shopping, he said I should go into the BIOS to change the boot order (Now this is where I **really fucked up**. Thought what I said before was bad?).
Cool, so I boot my PC and go into the BIOS, now I couldn't figure out on my computer where the boot order was, when it was right in my face the whole damn time... I managed to almost destroy my entire BIOS with the fucking file in my USB stick, because I was being an idiot...
I restart, GRUB opens up with a black screen and white text in the top left corner, know what the most important line is in that small block of words? "unknown filesystem"... Of fucking course I fucked it that bad, GRUB didn't even give me the option of just using Windows 10 instead, just quietly gave me the middle finger since I basically nearly fucked everything.
What's funny is that I had someone (who lives with us, let's call him Jeff) look at my computer because I was done being a dumbass.
He told me that I still had my BIOS (which was a bloody relief, because I thought I basically destroyed my computer doing what I did) and that all I need to do is fix the installer I tried to use.
I gave him the USB and just started to play on my phone.
Then I remembered something maybe an hour or so ago... I had an older installer that I used on my shitty laptop awhile back, if I can find it again I could just use that instead of waiting on Jeff. I dug around my room and found the USB that had a working Ubuntu ISO on, correctly placed inside this time.
I basically walked up to my computer, plugged it in and started it up, and it worked. I got Ubuntu and Windows 10 back, and I was basically laughing like I just saved a man's life.
Moral of this story: Don't be like me and do something stupid, especially if you don't know what the fuck you're attempting at... -
!rant, more of an incredulous/cruelly amused "you had ONE job..."
so: biggest IT/PC/electronics store in my (and neighboring) country. their webpage, of course with the function to buy online, because of course.
the big green "Buy" button does nothing. doesn't work. doesn't react. I keep clicking it multiple times, shorter, longer, etc, because maybe their JS scripts are just shit so they slow.
nope.
okay. open devtools, JS console.
hover over the button: "Error: isMobile is not a function".
click the button: "Error: isMobile is not a function"
WAT.
search for isMobile in the script.
173 occurences.
fuck this.
console: isMobile = function(){return false;}
because I'm not on my phone.
click the "Buy" button.
works flawlessly.
...HOW?
THE WHOLE PAGE IS AN ESHOP YOU COMIC RELIEF INCOMPETENTS! =D
173 uses of non-existing function that blocks business-critical feature, THE ONLY CORE FEATURE FOR WHICH YOUR SITE EVEN EXISTS, and NOBODY, not the dev who fucked it up, NOT EVEN QA, noticed it??? =D =D
if I was the boss of the devs, or even boss of the whole company...
git blame
...and then i'd go the whole chain from the dev who caused the bug, through all of the QA people who "tested" that version before deploy, and I would personally, on the spot, fire each and every single one of them.
mainly because of who knows how much money this stupid not even a proper bug lost them.
but secondarily, because clearly none of those people give a single shit (n)or have an idea how to do their jobs.
=D =D
yeah but I was a good guy, filed a bug report in the "Complaints" section of their Contact form.
it goes to some call-center-like peon, so it starts with a sentence "forward this to your site's dev people outright to file as a bug, thank you".
but... HOW.... =D
HOW can you let something like this through? =D
the bottleneck of your whole user interaction, which forms first of the three steps OF THE MAIN AND MOST IMPORTANT FUNCTION of your whole business... =D
...I...
...does not compute =D
...BUT THEY USING ANGULAR, SO THEY ALL MODERN AND HIGH-TECH AND EVERYTHING'S FINE!!! =D =D1 -
I want to code this stupid little tool just to toy with a GUI system i was reading about on github. But I'm so burned out and sick of code I just can't bring myself to even start it. I can't bring myself to work on my 3D printer I keep telling myself to get back up and running. I can't even bring myself to talk to anyone outside work even for just stupid little conversations
All I ever fucking do anymore is work, sleep, watch YouTube, and make plans ill never even fucking start I'm sick of this shit.
I'm considering working in retail for a few months just for something a little mindless compared to programming.
Another arbitrarily decided stupid work meeting is tomorrow and I'm 70% set on quitting rather than waiting to see when/if I get fired
i have enough savings to easily survive until I find a new job1 -
Yesterday Ibdid buy an iPhone. I did it to learn swift development and people started to tell me that it was stupid.
I know I could have just used my emulator on my Mac but I just do not want to, testings apps is better in their real envieonment
I hope you guys understand my point, I am getting tired of all this "you stupid iPhone owner" shit
PD: I regret nothing3 -
rant === true
I despise university. Since I went there, I have stopped learning exciting and new technologies. Instead, I do mips, lisp and Java.
I mean I wouldn't mind java, but it's boring repetitive crap. Making stupid simulations - all the fucking time.
I can not be bothered to learn this shit anymore. It's not worth 9k a year.
I'm lost. I don't know what to do. I can not physically do this anymore.
Edit:
Also, I hate this industry. All they want is a cs degree u til you have 2 years experience and then fuck it. It's a 50 k passport... wtf.3 -
While Indian govt. talks about digitizing the country and is pushing ahead with it, their Employee's Provident Fund Org (EPFO) infra is absolutely shit and it's killing small time business that want to help their employees.
You need to add Digital Certs to do just about anything (great security wise) BUT,
The digital sign interface is written in Java Flash, that was dropped by all modern browsers 4 years ago.
The only stable working latest browser for it is Firefox 52 released 3 years ago.
The USB tokens used/supported are all Chinese that don't respect OSS drivers and fork built their own (read Watchdata) with no/shitty and cumbersome linux support (couldn't get it working after 2 nights of trying different versions of drivers).
You still have to run Windows to sign the docs or to interact with EPFO using legacy browsers from 2016
Non Tech problems: EPFO charges 500 Rs/month minimum admin charges, and I pay 1200 Rs PF for my driver. That kind of commission is plain stupid and will make small employers run away from paying PF for their employees.
Any interaction with EPFO is like having to eat thorns. painful, unnecessary bullshit. How useless can someone be building such a system released in 2019?
I just hope they fix it. A simple google search shows there is Web Crypto API for modern browsers. Someone wake these people up. SMH2 -
Do I have just a bad version of ecma script or is this some stupid shit in JS in general? I want each sub array to be separate entities, not that same one for all. I assume the fill in just putting the same list in all of them? I honestly don't care I guess, replacing a sublist is fine too. Rather than editing each element separately. Saves ram in long run.
let arr = Array(5).fill(Array(1,2))
console.log(arr)
arr[0][0] = 3
console.log(arr)
[[1,2],[1,2],[1,2],[1,2],[1,2]]
[[3,2],[3,2],[3,2],[3,2],[3,2]]
Congratulations, you are my dev duck today.19 -
Okay I got a genius/exceptionally stupid idea.
Some of you may know Xi. If not, it's an, in development, text editor backend, written in Rust.
It does all the heavy lifting and communicates changes with the Frontend over an rpc-api, typically on stdin/stdout.
Now, why don't we do this, but for other kinds of applications, that have been reinvented a million times, because a feature is missing or the ui has been shit.
Cross-Platform backends for file-managers, web browsers, password managers, media players,...2