HR: We have received complain that you have been sexually harassing an intern.
Me: No, I wasn’t. Me and the new intern all we talk about is Coding, Apps, and TV-Series
HR: You are lying. I have the words that you said to the intern. Do you want me to read it out.
Me: I have no clue what I said to the intern so please read it out.
HR: You said, “Always pull before you push”. Do you remember saying this?
Me: Yes, I was teaching the intern how to use GIT.
HR: Okay, let me call the intern and let see if he says the same.

** Intern **
HR: Was he sexually harassing you today at any time.
Intern: No
HR: Did he said, “Pull before you push” to you?
Intern: Yes
HR: What does that mean, sounds like a slang for something sexual.
Intern: haha, no it means that I should pull the changes made to the files before I can push the changes I did to the code from my computer.
HR: But he said something else like he was teaching you how to use GIT
Intern: Yes, that’s what GIT is.
HR: Okay both of you can go and don’t use this type of terms in the future it doesn’t make good working culture.

Got assigned an intern to mentor him, with an explicit order not to do any of the legwork for him.

We start out with some fuzzy requirements. Intern starts overengineering a generic solution, so I make out a best architecture that conforms to the business requirements and I explain it to the intern why are we going to use such approach and tell him how we are going to do it in three phases.

I explain the intern the first phase, break it down in small tasks for him and return to my projects...

After a couple of days of no words from the intern, I decide to check up on him to see how is he progressing, only to hear him complaining the task is boring. So, instead of doing the assigned tasks, he decided he should do a "design" for a feature I told him explicitly not to do, since it is going to be designed by the design team later on.

I explain it to the intern that we have to do the boring task first because we can't proceed with the next phase of the implementation without the necessary data from the phase one.

Intern says okay and assures me he got it now. Few days later, I check up on him, and he tells me he feels he is doing all the work and that I don't contribute to the project. I call up my boss and tell him intern wants a meeting. Since I was working from home, I quickly pack my things and head to the office. Boss talks to the intern before I managed to get to the office. Once I got there, I meet the intern, and he tells me everything is okay. I ask what did the boss say to make things okay all of a sudden, and he tells me he said we are a team now. Our company has a flat hierarchy model, so he tells me he doesn't feel he needs a mentor, that we are both equal, and that I have no idea how to work in a team, and then proceeds to comfort me on how human interaction is hard and that I will learn it one day... I was like wtf?

I tell him to finish the phase one of the project and start with the phase two, and I leave home again.

I call up my boss and ask him what did he say to the intern, and he says: "nothing much, just explained the project a little bit and how it fits in the grand scheme of things.". I ask about the equal team members thing, and me not being a mentor any longer, the boss goes wtf, saying he never said anything about that to him.

So the kid can't focus on a single task, over-engineers everything and doesn't feel he can learn anything from developers with more experience, doesn't want to obey commands, and also likes to lie to manipulate others.

Tomorrow we'll decide what to do with him...

Sorry for the long rant, it was a long stressful day.

A story about how a busy programmer became responsible for training interns.

So I was put in charge of a team of interns and had to teach them to work with Linux, coding (Bash, Python and JS) and networking overall.
None of the interns had any technical experience, skills, knowledge or talent.
Furthermore the task came to me as a surprise and I didn't have any training plan nor the time.

Case 0:
Intern is asked to connect to a VM, see which interfaces there are and bring up the one that's down (eth1). He shuts eth0 down and is immediately disconnected from the machine, being unable to connect remotely.

Case 1:
Intern researches Bash scripting via a weird android app and after a hour or so creates and runs this function: test(){test|test&}
He fork-bombed the VM all other interns used.

Case 2:
All interns used the same VM despite the fact that I created one for each.
They saved the same ssh address in Putty while giving it different names.

Case 3:
After explicitly explaining and demonstrating to the interns how to connect to their own VMs they all connect to the same machine and attempt to create file systems, map them and etc. One intern keeps running "shutdown -r" in order to test the delay flag, which he never even included.

Case 4:
All of the interns still somehow connect to the same VM despite me manually configuring their Putty "favorites". Apparently they copy-paste a dns that one of them sent to the entire team via mail. He also learned about the wall command and keeps scaring his team members with fake warnings. A female intern actually asked me "how does the screen knows what I look like?!". This after she got a wall message telling her to eat less because she gained weight.

Case 5:
The most motivated intern ran "rm -rf" from his /etc directory.
P.S. All other interns got disconnected because they still keep using his VM.

Case 6:
While giving them a presentation about cryptography and explaining how SSH (that they've been using for the past two weeks) works an intern asked "So is this like Gmail?".
I gave him the benefit of the doubt and asked if he meant the authorization process. He replied with a stupid smile "No! I mean that it can send things!".

FML. I have a huge project to finish and have to babysit these art majors who decided to earn "ezy cash many" in hightech.

Adventures will be continued.

My morning:

Me: Why did you just delete the failing unit tests?

Intern: I debugged it for a while and found one of the other developers broke it with his recent changes. I couldn't fix it.

Me: Did you let him know he broke it?

Intern: No.

Me: So you just deleted it and decided to pretend the feature isn't broken?

Intern: ... No ... I mean ... well you told us yesterday we needed to have all the tests passing.

(I NEED a stress ball people)

The intern learned a great lesson today...

Me: intern in XYZ company
Boss: boss of XYZ

Boss: Why are you taking so much time in developing a simple webpage.
Me: *explains because you asked for so much bullshit to include**
Boss: I can develop it in half an hour.
Me: *-_-*
Boss: I developed a website in PowerPoint when I was intern.
Me: In PowerPoint? How?... Really..?
Boss: Ya, that's the type of skills I have. You're so lazy, you take so much time to make a simple webpage.
Me: -_-

just joined in a company as an intern

WHO THE FUCK BLOCKS SPOTIFY AND YOUTUBE?

!rant

Just watched the intern pull a beer from the beer fridge, and it's only 11:15am. What a fucking champion.

"EMINEM!"

An intern just called me Eminem! This is hilarious. People have told me I talk fast in the past but this is the first time my talking has been considered as rapping😛

Soooo.. Couldn't figure out why the db weren't working..

Our new intern dropped it..

So I just finished an unpaid! Internship at a local tech company.

At the final meeting my boss said that he wants to keep me in the company. But my "skill level" is not high enough to pay me just now, and if I would stay as an unpaid intern for some months, we could talk about being paid.

After I refused, he was mad at me for "abandoning the team" and "hurting the company"

I hope other company's will be better. :/

Boss: "Here's our new intern! He's a bloody genius doing apps! Perfect for that important project that shouldn't be trusted to an intern!!"

*takes intern 9 weeks to do a login view without any real backend*

Turns out the guy couldn't do shit but steal others code and change background color.

Boss: "He wasn't very good..."
Me: "You interview him. How about you bring a developer to the interview next time..."
Boss: "Doesn't matter. The app needs to be done the day after tomorrow, good luck"
Me: "............"

*puts on coffee, cries, programs the app in miserable silence*

I just ask an intern to comment a Java class I send him (for practice). He asked what should he use to open the file, because, he said, "Word, messes it up"

Seriously, what are they teaching at schools?

A fellow intern recommended the use of windows server for security and speed reasons.

Few details about the situation: windows server got hacked due to a vulnerability which had no patch released yet and this had happened multiple times that year. Also, the company was migrating everything to Linux (servers).

The senior/lead programmer literally gave him a GTFO face and pointed at the door.

Everyone was giving him the GTFO face by the way, he didn't know how fast he had to get out 🤣

When I was an intern, I wrote a very heavy MySQL query with multiple joins. Quite frustrated, I asked for some help from one of my seniors.

He came by on my desk and told me, "Explain your query!".

I was completely blank-faced O_O.

After a few moments, the senior grabbed this hopeless bastard's keyboard and typed "EXPLAIN" in the beginning of the query; and then ran it.

I thought he was being hard to me.

> When the intern claims that nginx is serving more request than apache

ThE iNtErN iS pAiD iN eXpErIeNcE.

I just witnessed this interaction between my CTO and an intern. CTO was a good 30 feet away, so everyone heard:

CTO: *talking about some notepad or something* "I HAVE ONE IN MY DESK!"
Intern: **froze - afraid to go through his desk**
CTO: "TOP DRAWER!"
Intern: ..........
CTO: "GET IT, FUCKER!"
Intern: **blushing - gently opens drawer**
CTO: "KEEP GOING! PAST THE CANDY!"
Intern: "I ..."
CTO: "PAST THE WHISKEY!"
Intern: **softly** "I found it..."
CTO: "THAT WAS HARD!"
Intern: *starts walking back*
(player 3 enters the game) Director of Software: "BRING THE WHISKEY!"

Note: The intern was laughing, he is just a bit timid.

I truly love my job.

Regular day at Adobe:

Intern: Sir, I have created this amazing functionality that will make user's life easy. Shall I push it for review?

Manager: Did you say it will make their life easy?

Intern: Yes Sir!

Manager: Can we fire this intern already?

Adobe, seriously man make up your goddamn mind. Why the fuck are you taking away useful features and making them hidden under hundreds of icons you have. This is so fraustrating 😡

When I was intern I saw best use of comment ever. There was a code block that you can only end up there with FATAL ERROR. And there was these lines as a comment :

Last thing I remember, I was
Running for the door
I had to find the passage back
To the place I was before
"Relax, " said the night man,
"We are programmed to receive.
You can check-out any time you like,
But you can never leave! "

Apparently I, the Intern, am the only developer at this company with any experience with Version Control. My Boss just asked me for 'Documentation on how to create a Repository in GitHub'...

"There's a big button that says 'Create Repository'. CLICK IT."

I was an intern - as a high school student. They had no idea what to do with an intern, let alone a high school student that was only there around three hours a day.

They tried to saddle me with a massive "how to use Perforce" manual, but I flat refused and told them to give me some real work.

In the end I wound up writing a text parser in Python to get some specific info from some files. They decided it wasn't actually needed after I finished it (I don't think they expected me to), on my last week there. I just played solitaire the rest of the time. I learned a few things:

1. I never want to work at Adtran.
2. Perforce should die in a fire.
3. Experience != Expertise.
4. Don't be afraid to put yourself on the line if it means potentially accomplishing something.

Virtual machine wouldn't boot. Intern carried the actual pc to support.

!rant

Wake up at 7am
Start work at 7:30 am
Set status to "working from home"
Dive deep into code
Boss calls at 10:30am...

Codebrain makes me sound a bit absent: "Uhhh... sup?"

Boss: "Oh sorry, did I wake you up? Would like to discuss the application of the new intern with you, but I can call back after lunch if you want..."

<3

Paid intern: It's just like $feature_in_other_app
me: Yeah, in the same way that chemotherapy is a haircut...

Manager asked intern to bring coffee during meeting

Intern came back with an empty cup and his mouth full of coffee which he emptied into the cup

Since then, I have not seen the Intern at office.

Fuck the incompetent and "pretentious psuedo devs" !!

I have been developing a web portal for a student club for this really big company (as intern) and then they assign this fuckin group of these 4 stupid intern devs to work with me !

The fuckin tweked my code and redirected the CONTACT FORM to the fuckin LOGIN CONTROLLER !!

Then these sons of Einstein inserted dummy users without a username and password into the fuckin production site !!

Now each fukin time someone submits contact form is redirected into some random user account !!

Who the fuck needs Hackers when we have these legendary coders -_-

Holy crap.. The intern just pushed the private key to his own VPS to the firmwide git server...

Oh boy.. this is going to be so much fun when the intern deletes something and realizes he / she forgot to put the where clause 😂

I just saw a job post for a
"Sr. Software engineer intern".
Can someone explain. What in the world

This is a funny one:

I found this gem in SO.
Why is it funny? Well, PDVSA is the state-owned company for oil production of my country (Petróleos De Venezuela).

This little intern decided that it was a good idea to publish in SO an answer with actual code, showing database and tables names to everyone.

Priceless.

I've never had a code review.
Eventhough I proposed to my boss that we at least review our intern's code once a week, he doesn't think it is needed.
Our intern writes ugly, shitty code...
it usually takes hours for me to fix his abominations... but yeah, what the boss says is always the best.

Rewriting code you wrote as an intern a year ago that has been rewritten by another intern in the meantime...

The joys of spaghetti code and experience.

Talking with colleagues earlier about dealing with a cocky intern:

"Ah, I had one of those last year. I told him to make sure when using the find command, always use the -delete flag to clear up any temporary files it creates while it's searching."

"Man, that's harsh. Did that take him down a peg?"

"Nah, not at all, but he never spoke to me again after that, so I'm calling it a win."

Intern Me: "this is what im working on"
Fellow Intern: "Hey cool, can you send me it? "
Me: "What? The code?"
Intern: "Yeah, just send it all"
Me: "You want me to send you the entirety of the 300 million line code base for a proprietary trading system?"
Intern: "Yeah"

@the intern who refactors my code to classes: you are the real MVC

I... I mean MVP

When the intern asked for root access.

Intern asked Manager how can one become a senior developer.

Manager explained and then, asked why?

Intern said that the senior developer was not able to fix the bug in his code for over 3 days while it took the Junior developer (me) around 10 minutes.

[Silence in the meeting]

Intern complained to Manager that I have been googling to find code snippets

Manager confronted me during one of our meetings. I explained.

Manager felt stupid and seemed angry on the intern.

My intern found this... I'm glad he knows it's the truth

So my friend who was a working as Tech/System Intern and soon to be junior sysadmin asked me "How was pinging 127.0.0.1 successfull? I am not even connected to the internet?"

Me: why are you using so many break tags?

Intern: Its the only way I can position this div below that form.

Me: *facepalm*

Conversation between me (intern) and a guy from communications, let's call him Bob.
Bob: "Hey, client X wants these pages to be changed."
Me: "Again? Last time I changed them was less than a week ago!"
Bob: "Yeah, everyone thinks X is a pain in the ass, but hey, more money for us."
Me: "But you don't pay me..."
Bob: "Oh yeah, you're right haha XD."
Me: "Haha... :')"

The intern next to me:
"Hey, is 'localhost' working for you ? I can't access the website"

And there I was thinking about being an Intern here...

NO FIGHTING OVER TABS AND SPACES IN THE COMMENTS PLEASE

I will disregard the fact that our target platform is windows, so sure, newly hired intern, go ahead and use linux if you want, it doesnt really matter.

After that he accomplished 1 day's work in a week because he was googling how to set up linux environments

CHOOSE THE TOOL FOR THE FUCKING JOB YOU DIMWIT

* Intern comes back to the same company after a year *

[Senior developer] : What did you learn last year at school?

[Intern] : I can develop any Android app now

* Opens his phone and clicks on an app *
* Only one page with text : "Hello World" *

[Senior developer] * drops on the floor in an attempt to hide his laughter *

The intern has directly editted the CSS file then push to the repo.
The senior optimized the old codebase and compiled the SCSS with gulp leading to the CSS file rebuild.

The vicious cycle continued until code review which was like 2 weeks later.

So we hired an intern and his first task was to change a few things in email layout for our client, which is an investment bank.

I told to one of my developers to make his local database dump and setup the project for an intern. When intern completed the task, my developer thought that title "Dow Jones index crashed" was pretty funny title for a test.

What he didn't thought through enough, is that he forgot to configure fake SMTP server and he had production database dump with real email addresses.

I had really awkward 20 minutes conversation with our client. Fuck my life.

So, I told my new newbies intern; "Please keep remind yourself, not accidently type 'rm -rf /' as root. You don't want to know what going to happen". He nod.

Next day, in the dev server, "Kernal Panic". Human, full of curiosity.

how to bully interns.

intern: where is the bath room.

me: take the stairs to the first floor, across the street you will see corner bakery there is a bathroom there.

the intern literally followed my instructions. whereas we are in 10th floor and we have an elevator.

I think he is a computer

So we, new interns, are having breakfast together. One of the intern brought this nice milk and cornflakes. Another intern started to talk about how she's allergic to dairy products and her hands become itchy when she eats any dairy products.

Then I said: "Oh, your hands gets itchy? I shit myself whenever I have anything related to milk."

Both of them packed their food and left in the next minute.

I hate myself.

Life of an Intern:

Trying to figure out if today is the day you get fired for being an imposter.

When you give production access to the intern

I created an Android app for a client. An intern at his company who is responsible for content updates sent me this email:

Hi,

I'm including a photo of an Android displaying the app on screen, in our latest marketing email.

Will the Android's screen in the photo update itself if I update the content of the actual app?

Best,
Intern

*facepalm*

Me: So why did you drop the db?
Intern: I couldn't rename the Model I've just created.
Me: Your CV says you're a prolific Rails Dev.
Me: How many days you have left working here?
Intern: 3Months
Me: Just take 3 months off work.

I hear my intern yelling at Cortana in the other room. "Cortana, open keyboard!". He repeats this 5+ times. Issue is there is no keyboard connected so he just wants to use the on screen keyboard, and thinks Cortana will open it for him. Issue is the computer isn't hooked up to the Internet, and Cortana does not do that command without the internet.

Just grab a fucking keyboard!!!

Im confused, this is the requirements for a IT Intern. Do I need experience in jQuery? Or QWERTY Keyboard? Or Both?

Today during the daily meeting while debating a huge bug, the intern says "I have an idea". 5 minutes of histerical laughture. 30 minutes later, she fixed It.
Interns day at the office.

**Overheard new intern struggling with git talking to lead developer

Intern: "I am having trouble with the git repo on my local machine, can you take a look?"

*** Looks at code for three seconds

Lead developer: "Yeah, I suggest you just delete and reclone the repo."

So after you fucked your Ubuntu installation last year because you decided to `chmod -R 777 /` you are telling me that you did the same to /home and /var/lib because the former intern "told you so"?!?!

How can someone be SO FUCKING STUPID??
Fuck...
My boss ladies and gentleman...

That feeling when you find the bug breaking the application in production and you are just an intern :)

The intern pushed their credentials to GitHub...

... again

We are debugging Wordpress syndication plugin tomorrow at work, the intern is uber scared because the lead dev is missing. Rest in peace my soul.(I'm the intern)

When my manager angrily told me that I compromised the release and tried to guilt me into staying later at work. I was a 17-year-old intern.

Senior showing fellow intern what SQL injection is on the app the intern created :
Senior : "then I hit enter and the query get executed and...
Intern : "don't you dare hitting enter!!!"

> be me a 23 y.o intern
> two years on self learned MEAN stack

> first day of intern<

> boss: we need you to become an iOS intern
> me: *whut*
> me: *thinking swift syntax is similar to JavaScript*
> me: OK, in swift ?
> boss: No, in Obj-C
> me: *fuck*

> spend 2 days to familiarize with Obj-C
> boss: Here's a bug, solve it.
> me: OK
> me: *checking their code for the first time*
> me: *fuck, fucking huge*
> me: *open up bug related ViewConttoller*
> me: *fuck, 6k lines of code*
> me: *fucking MVC*

> spend 2 hours to fix the bug <

> boss: you did great ! awesome
> me: *heh*
> boss: *announce to everyone* from now on INTERN will take over the project.
> me: *whut*
> boss: here's our roadmap plz implement features

> after 3 months <

> me fixing bug <
> me do feature development <
> me write shitty code <
.
.
.
repeat, life as an intern

It's my 2nd week into my new job. I asked people what they think they are doing.

The summary:

Senior dev: we fix bugs
Junior dev: we write code
Intern: we create the future

It depends how you look at it. They are all called software engineer or developer.

This is one from i was an intern

Me: writes some logic, using
for(String s : something)
Senior: holds a 30 minute talk on why short loops are bad and we should always use the traditional one
Me: ok retard
Me: havent used traditional loops ever since then

I'm a front end intern and for nearly 9 months I've done almost exclusively CSS because that's the only thing my startup company really needed. I'm dying inside.

We just got an intern in our company a few days ago. She is supposed to be a php developer, not good, but at least something okay. I find major errors, that even a newbie should regocnize.
It's going to be a long internship, if I have to help her all the time with basic stuff.

me: so can i use strlen?
intern: no!! you need it implement it!
me: *calls teacher* hey can i use strlen?
teacher: yeah, do as you please. who told u you can't use it?
me: *points at the other guy*

whoops i think i just got him in trouble today xd sorry not sorry, i want him gone so i can replace him hahaha jk

I was hired as a C++ dev, ended up doing full stack (React/Redox frontend, Djanho backend).

I was just an intern but by the time I was done there I was in charge of the whole frontend because the other guys quit.

Fuck that place.

Applying to more internships today and found this:

Position: full stack blockchain engineer intern

Basic qualifications:
- 7+ years of experience in software development
- 2+ years experience developing smart contracts
- 5+ years professional experience in Java, Go, Node.js

Wtf is this? What intern has 5+ years of professional software development?

Why even label the posting as an intern when u want someone with years of experience?

Stupid fucking shit I swear

The joy that happens when the QA intern knows how to program and tells you which lines in the source to check out

Intern: "Hey Awlex, this function I'm using doesn't work. Can you help me?"
Me: "This function doesn't do what you are expecting. Did you even look at the docs for this function?"
Intern: "No."
Me: "... then start with that"

I just realized something in my work place, I'm the only one beside the intern (lol) on my team who is proficient in english.

I was helping a coworker debug some issues and she couldn't understand the OBVIOUS error message telling her precisely wtf was wrong and the exact line...

I know something for sure... In our area English is basic, learn it or gtfo. I might as well conduct half the interviews in English from now on.

Boss: We need to hire more people, lower your technical requirements.
Me: Why not just hire interns. They're cheaper, we can mold them into the role faster, and most interns get hired after school and stay for years.
Boss: ... we can do that?

The boss knows I started off as an intern at the company. 🙄

An intern who tries not to show that he doesn't know shit has been asked for fun:

"What's the difference between a pointer and a thread?"

He answered: "I don't know, I am not experienced enough in oriented object programming".

Seriously. Bullshiting has gone too far.

The intern: FUUUUCK, WHY ISN'T MY CODE WORKING?
Me: Lemme check real quick... ok, that's a null pointer exception.
The intern: Again? Man, I'm growing desperate. How do I stop making these errors?
My dumb ass with my 4 years coding experience, who encountered a nullpointerexception literally 5 minutes earlier: """"°-°""""

xroad's rule for downvoting:

If you just reposted something in the span of a few hours or less I will downvote it.

If your rant starts with "there are 10 kinds of people in the world" my thumb will hit the -- button faster than an intern will ask a stupid question.

Soo many java script hate posts! Not one post goes by where i thank god that I'm not a front end developer!

PS - I let my intern work on the the UI of my application :P He is on devrant. I hope he sees this! Hehe.

When you're working on the same project and git branch with another intern and he decides to make copies of the files and rename them to avoid having to merge his code with yours. ._.

Still working for the biggest German ISP...

Intern Websites are only for FUCKING IE11!
CMON GUYS WHY EVEN LET PEOPLE INSTALL CHROME AND FIREFOX WHEN ITS NOT FUCKING SUPPORTED! FUCK OFF

Interviewing intern today:

"What text editor do you use?"
"Notepadd, Word, I'm okay with anything."
"Like, Notepad++?"
"Eh... Notepad, I don't know about the ++."

An intern came to us with a build issue, it was very difficult to pin point the cause of issue as there were many modified files in the project. So to figure out the cause one guy git stashed lot of fiiles. Now, intern being not aware of the git stash command thought that all his changes are deleted. The way he freaked out thinking all his changes were lost was amazing. Also other people jumped on the bandwagon, and started questioning the developer that how can you delete the changes of an intern. It went like this for 10 min and finally we told the intern that his changes are safe.

What to do with a web development intern who doesn't understand the concept of git even after 3 weeks of joining?
PS: Can't fire her

Our new hired (promoted intern) just installed Ubuntu on his new machine.
Now we are the only ones using Linux at work.

He was having trouble with a flickering bug on kernel 4.4.0 and I just told him to apt upgrade that it would solve it..
And he was like: oh.. Can you update the kernel?

That's gonna be a long month...hope he learns this faster than git

When you've been programming in Visual Studio for 2 years at a company and they hire an intern to help you program.

I set him up with git and the version of Visual Studio we share.

First thing he does is change the theme from dark to light and therefore changing my machine to light since we share the account... Already disliked

the first day of work of our HR intern, we happen to give her a desktop computer. after one full hour spent in front of a black screen, trying and typing on the keyboard, we asked her what was going on and she replied: "I'm just trying to switch it on, on my laptop there is a button". "Yes, here as well, the big red one in front of you". she now manages HR with the same expertise, though

Just got rejected for an internship position. They saying you are slightly lesser for what our intern possess. Upon insisting they told that both my "skill set" and "logic" is not up to the mark. I am depressed

God fucking dammit why are people so fucking lazy? A couple months ago I've had the intern refactor and organise this coworker's spaghetti code, and he did an excellent job, added type safety, etc.

I've took special care to explain it to this coworker that I understand he didn't have time to organise code and the intern took care of it, and to please keep it clean from now on.

Today I had to add a small feature to the same codebase, and every single thing that fucktard added from then on was crammed in the same file. And that guy's been here for 5 years already, I thought I don't have to triple check every single line he writes by now...

This one time at an internship I was getting flamed for not 'coding' valid html5 (me being a backend dude) after some painful hours it was html5 valid... Only to then get flamed on for the text being one pixel off or something... I mean if you want a front end intern then don't look and hire a backend

When the new intern arrives... (OC)

Our intern is about to join the master race 🕺🕺🕺

It was an intern job for 2.5$ /h. I removed a bunch of technical debt, made their modx site localized (with a weird approach though but hey, I was an intern) and wrote a few new pages. I loved every minute of working there until the end, but had it lasted a bit longer than a month I'd have probably burned the place to the ground when I realized that my friends had earned twice as much at McDonalds and I could've earned about the same amount writing one excel macro a day.

*explains the importance of official docs*

*moments later, the intern pointing at his screen to a crappy YouTube tutorial video*

Intern: How did he figure all this stuff out? He must be a genius.

* Sending "less" data
* Number of ads won't change

Intern at Microsoft: Should I rephrase the messages so that it becomes a little bit subtle?
CTO(or whoever the fuck is in charge of rolling out windows update): Let it be direct and on the nose. Fuck this shit.

(Edit): Always forget to attach the image.

Just joined this, let the rants begin. Intern data engineer and developer for an oil company so there should be lots 😂

Finished my internship today, turns out I won't be getting hired because upper management is cutting back due to COVID.

Fuck fuck fuckity fuck, compared to the horror stories I've read here, it was beautiful. The work experience was super worth it though, despite the intern pay. Time to start looking for a real job I guess.

be me

be scrolling through craigslist out of boredom

apply to be an intern at a health nonprofit on a whim without doing proper research

*two days later*

randomly look at their website again

see the footer at the bottom: Proudly created with Wix.com

FUCK WHAT THE FUXKA S FICBW WJiB whziNs skid be eiizhw anish e s

Intern : "Stackoverflow is the most friendly platform to learn coding. They provide a good certification for programming skill."

Me : " Stop this bullshit before I present you a smack-overflow across your face."

Since when Stackoverflow described as freecodecamp?

Annoyance in C: using the same keyword for two unrelated things, process-long memory allocation and internal linkage. Looking at you, static.

The latter should really have been called "intern", just like there is "extern". Far more people would use it if it was named correctly.

History says "static" was chosen for compatibility, allowing older compilers to take new source files.

Previous intern had a bad habit of living empty catch blocks...
It's like he had some mommy issues.
It's like handing an empty first aid box to guy.
"You know what I am gonna do, leave empty catch every where just to fuck with the next guy...Ha...Ha..."

I know I'm only an intern. But what in the actual sideways fuck. Are clients really this stupid?! They want to push the app into the app stores a week earlier AND add MORE functionality? FUUUUUCK ME.

Was hired as an intern, paid me the minimum wage, had to independently handle 3 large scale projects. Got to learn A LOT but was not paid enough.

Fucking power outtage and mobile network doesnt work either most of the time, great..

when you realise that as an intern you need a datasheet to understand the datasheet...

Do you ever cringe on the code you've written a few years before?
When I started as an intern in the same company I'm working for now, I was a solo dev on an internal tool.
It's web based and used for employee management.
I've cloned the repo to see how I did.
And to say the least, I wish I had an experienced dev to oversee me...
I'll never leave an intern unattended from now on if I know about them.

Guess EA has a new intern in the emails department

Mentors, take note. This is a best practice over here.

I've spent two days digging through obscure documentation trying to accomplish one of those tasks that is simple in word and complex in deed. Namely, I wanted to concatenate (not delete) near-duplicate values in Pandas before rendering the data into a graph. Two days beating my head against the wall.

One of my mentors (I'm an intern) heard about the issue, wrote in the proper line (a very specifically and archaically formatted command), and pushed it to repo without even asking for thanks. Works like a charm and he saved my rear end. What a guy.

Please, mentors, don't leave your interns hanging on problems where the only solution is shrouded in dubious documentation and magic syntax. Especially when there's a deadline involved. Let them struggle on logic flow and writing good code.

Be like this guy. You'll build the importance of teamwork and your intern will think you're a wizard.

The sun, the hot, humid temperature and that new intern with the super tight revealing clothes that sits across from you...

I gave vimeo video ID to an intern, told her to use vimeo link in iframe and she replaced a youtube video ID in the iframe and told me that it's not working.. facepalm

Used to be the intern in the company I work at...
Finally became a Jr software dev, I get to select the next intern...

That was 3 months ago, he has started and I get to bug fix all his stuff...

He's a nice guy tho

Okay...
I can understand, that you´ve never used a file versioning system.

But why the everloving fuck would you commit EVERYTHING BUT the files you have added or edited???
Don´t you have some common sense?
The hell is wrong with you?

(My thoughts after seeing the last commit of the new intern...)

Intern tries to merge a huge commit without knowing what he's doing. Breaks half the app. I'm at 30 min and counting of having to fix everything he broke.

Had an intern go configure a bunch of workstations for our employees over the summer - we gave him a checklist and let him loose.
Several months later... Try to support a user with their workstation and find out that $software isn't installed on said workstation. Check other workstations. No $software on any of them.
Ask intern "did you follow the checklist we gave you??!"
Intern: "Yeah, I followed it."
Ask intern: "So why is $software not installed on the workstations?"
Intern: "Oh I didn't have a copy of $software so I skipped that step."
What.
So he's probably getting shitcanned soon...

So I'm an intern at a small company for a duration of 2 months. Not a lot of work is allotted to me right now. Every evening I have this weird feeling when I have to leave, cuz practically based on the work I could have left after lunch but I've got to stay here and wait till enough people or just someone leaves to make it seem okay.

Got contacted by a place I used to be an intern at. They were looking to hire. Things are supposedly better now, so I highballed my salary expectations.

Surprisingly, they were willing to meet those expectations, so that's cool. However, a call they said was going to happen in the morning didn't happen until late afternoon.

Now I'm wondering just how much they've improved on the planning.

My intern was trained on 1 semester of Java, followed by 2 of Python, so there’s been several conversations at the office that boil down to:

“What’s *not* to love about Python? It’s easy to pick up, and forgiving as hell!”

“What’s *to* love about Python? I like being able to understand how my code is structured!”

As a WordPress shop, the discussion is moot, of course...

I asked an intern to write JUnits to increase test coverage and he mocked the method itself which was being Unit tested.

Man, I'm a second week intern at a company, and the anxiety that I have is making me stupid. I literally lose all of my coding skills, stuff that I could do at home in 15 minutes takes hours at work.

Am I crazy, or will this go away.

( am a naturally stressed and anxious person, I know this is not good)

When the new intern keeps asking too many questions to try to be too enthusiastic

Code review, intern style:

Intern: Here is my pull request ...
Colleague: I see a problem with x, y, z. Could cause memory leaks.
Intern: Oh yeah you are correct, i'll fix that in the next one.
Intern: *merged*

My boss just yelled at our devops guy because he caught the DO intern watching Twitch while he was eating lunch at his desk. Why even care?

Being a dev intern is so hard! The company expects me to have knowledge as a senior developer but with a stipend of a janitor! :(

I'm rid on the intern. She's been moved to the data team.

My manager actually apologised to me multiple times for the stress they put me through and admit they made a mistake.

Apparently the intern is doing better in the data team, which is good. I am glad she's gone, because it was shitty for both of us.

The moment when you realize the new intern merged a old cutout SVN branch into trunk and in effect nullified your changes..........Son of *#$ch. Why the fuck are we still using SVN

Aw.. The face of the intern when I magically scp'd a 3 GB file to his download folder in 30 seconds... But I'm still wondering why he didn't ask anything like: coll, how can I do that too?

Stupid fucking idiot startup asshole hired me as an intern. Promised me the money after the work is done. We were friendly during the internship. The work is done and now it's been a week and still no money yet. He's saying it'll take some time. To beat you to shit it'll take some time you asshole!

Lesson learned: Never ever be friendly with the guy who hires you. Like never!!

Also money later isn't a good thing.

Joined as an Intern at an MNC, There was an issue with creating the account so a ticket was raised. Now to view the ticket, I have to log in the account :)

I'm not a developer by profession and my home setup is always messy (where I develop personal projects) but I am an intern sysadmin so here is my office desk :) wanted to join the whole show your desk movement

Pardon me if the tags are not right. Im fairly new and mostly a reader.

Keep this in mind: I don't like WordPress and PHP at all!!!
So a couple of days ago my boss asked me if I could extend a custom made WordPress plugin made by our intern. First thought: sure why not? Boss says: it has to be done in less than 100 hours of work (an estimate done by my boss and the intern). Me: I can't tell you that before I have seen the code and what functionality has to be in the extension. Boss: Cool, look it over this weekend and tell me if you want to do it or not.
I looked it through and my answer will probably be: NO WHERE IN HELL am I gonna are this in less that 100 hours! 1. no tests has been performed so I have absolutely no clue if his code works.
2. variable names are mostly: $string_query (whatever that means?), $result, $string_temp and so on.
3. Methods and functions are more than 250 lines long, with shitty formatting, and more comments than code. WTF?
4. The estimate has been made by an intern and my boss (doesn't know much about programming). I haven't been consulted about it....
5. No version control. No branches, no commits other than initial commit. Great.
6. Most comments in the code just tells me what I can read from the code. What it returns and what it takes as params. Can I please know wtf your method call named $booking->run () does? I still haven't found this method in the code after 1 hour of intensively looking for it...

FFS man... Not gonna do this, even though I thought it would have been an interesting project initially.

Sorry for the long rant... I just wish the intern would have consulted me about all this shit, since he obviously have bad practices. *sigh*

Hi everyone

I'm currently an intern in a startup
I started 3 months ago and I will finish in 1-2 months

From the beginning, all the team is very nice with me and say that I do a really great job
I could learn many many things and I can say my ideas during the project

This is a message to CEO/CEO, you see, if you offer a really good internship with interesting tasks and technologies, student like me are really motivated, want to learn, want to really participe to the project even if I do more hours than I have to do
Because we, students, are like you : interested in new technologies and great ideas

Offer good internship and you will be happy to have good and motivate intern in your Company

Thank you!

A story about a helpless intern : On a fine day an intern was assigned a feature to develope. He worked his ass off, completed it, submitted it for testing, the build was approved by the tester and got released the next day. Fast forward a few days, the feature is failing in few cases at the production.Everbody, starts pointing fingers at the intern.
The intern wonders...How the fuck am I gonna know this fucking use case, do they really expect me to to build a full proof feature without telling me about all the possible senarios...And how the fuck did the tester approved this...? I mean, now that I know this senario, it seems pretty obvious that it should have been tested...!
Note : This also happened to another developer who recently joined...The PM failed to properly communicate all the requirements and the fucking lazy ass tester did not consider all the possible senarios. And the script failed in the production...!
Note : It's 4 fucking AM and the intern still can't sleep...

Disappointed to be an intern at a place where we were given a website project where I'm the only experienced coder. Not learning anything new and I work all day while my team watches videos.

That feel when an intern is tasked with implementing a web frontend for a project you're working on.

That feel when you open up one of the views and it's filled with JQuery spaghetti and your eyes glaze over.

That feel when you actually step through the code, and it actually makes sense and is remarkably light and clever for what it does.

That feel when you learned a bit more JQuery (a library that you never had any experience with before) and it made doing some more things an absolute breeze.

Thanks intern!

So there is a 50/50 chance I am getting flamed af tomorrow during code review because of my branching/merging actions on thursday and friday... Merge conflicts... We all love them...

Tomorrow's my first day as an SRE intern.. wish me luck fellow devs and engineers :)

More DevOps rants coming in the future with my best mate @tahnik who is also starting his software engineering internship on the same day coincidentally in a different company

When the intern blocks my pull request to ask another stupid question

Best part about being a (intern) dev?

Has to be being able to eat when I want, get a drink when I want, take a break when I want. But most of all, the godly feeling of being able to dress like a slob and not having to care about looking like one.

So the intern thinks he doesn't drink. We'll see... This place has a way of changing that

How far off can you implement a feature?

Task: Update add one feature to this endpoint and add test(s) for the new feature

What happened
* Correct endpoint
* Add 2 wrong features
* Remove one important feature
* Do not the requested feature
* Write a test that doesn't actually test the feature for the wrong endpoint

Intern be like: looks fine to me. Pls review and merge

I was in school looking for intern places when a teacher told the class he had an amazing company for about 20 students. Got the intern job by doing my first ever job interview. After a year I got a traineeship while still in school (3 days school, 2 days work).
Now I have a job there, which for now is helping new interns and trainees while sales is searching for projects for me. (I work at a company which "sells" developers for a certain time, Im not sure what the english term for "detachering" is)

PM: "Can you take a look at this app and see if you can find why it's producing errors and fix it"
Me: "Yea sure, can I see the documentation so I might be able to understand the system and why it's doing that?"
PM: "There's no documentation" ... "Also it was cowboy coded by an intern"

Me when the intern commits some shit to master

13 weeks of internship turned into 2 github folders in a master repository for the next intern to pick up on wow I feel a little insignificant but I also know that I'm definitely more prepared for my next programming adventure with the skills I learned from this experience

I am pretty new to devrant.. and Tomorrow is my first official joining in a MNC as Android Dev... I have done many work in start-ups as intern..But feeling scared for tommorow... Hope for the best.. 😕

Working on a bug with the intern. Suggested the "stepping away for a few minutes" technique. Came back and quickly resolved.

Works every time.

It's really strange being an intern at a company, and having 95% of your co-workers be 5-10+ years older than you. The age gap makes it feel hard to communicate and make any friends. :/

This new intern chose to write CSS instead of LESS/SASS even though I showed him how much time/lines of code were saved using LESS because he was "so used to it". Go ahead.. Enjoy writing 1 million lines of css to accomplish the same task.

Believe whatever the intern says

WITH A BAG OF SALT

Learned via iOS tutor overnight to build a basic single page app. Told I can able to learn fast. Started as intern at a startup. Learned rapidly because I was the only one who building the entire product.

The biggest race ..
Intern wanna be junior,
junior wanna be intermediate,
intermediate wanna be senior

And the fear not to be lower then each other may be the reason why tech is
moving so fast on never ending race

Intern: "Is the keyword to allow nullable 'null=True' "
No. It's farnswaggle=False.

First day as an intern: when I was introduced to everyone, some say they don't even want to know me and stay the fuck away because they don't care.

My best dev experience this year was the success of my company intern app at work, where I am employeed since last December beside my studies.
The company founder, the CEO, the head of department and the marketing department all like my app and in January it will be deployed to all company phones 😀
Whish me luck that there won't be any serious bugs 😅

An intern made a very bad impression on the first day.

This was before I become a developer. I was working in commercial art sales. One day, I had an appointment to onboard two new interns together.

Intern 1 shows up and I ask her for her signed confidentiality agreement. The boss had sent it out a week before and told me the interns were bringing the signed paperwork on their first day. I see the surprised look on her face and she says she forgot. She’s lucky I had access to another copy. If I didn’t, things could have gotten pretty awkward if I had to contact my boss, who was out of office. If there’s no signed agreement, I can’t onboard her and I’d have to send her home. The appointment was made with intern 1’s availability in mind, so intern 1 could have spent her time coming to the office for nothing and being turned away because of a stupid mistake she made.

While we wait for intern 2 to arrive, I try to engage in small talk with intern 1. I try to get to know her a little better and I ask “are you still in college/university?” She word vomits that she thought she had graduated, but six months later she hadn’t received her diploma and she called the school and they told her her pre-college credits had not transferred, so she’s finishing those credits now.

Oh, intern, you should have just simplified all this to “I’m finishing up my degree” or “yes, I’m still in college.” This is TMI. You don’t want to give out information about yourself that could put you in a bad light. You need to know to be discreet about yourself. You’re 22 years old. It’s really bad judgement to say this to your supervisor (me) and we’ve only known each other for ten minutes. I’m not your friend, I’m your supervisor. Honestly, I thought the explanation didn’t make sense because she would have found out about the credits when she tried to transfer them and when she applied for graduation. I didn’t prod for more details.

I did have to tell my boss about intern 1 forgetting the paperwork. It’s not something the intern would be reprimanded for, but it is something that’s not a good sign. The paperwork had been sent by the boss a week prior. It’s troublesome that an intern would forget to complete an important task that was sent by the boss. This was never a problem with prior interns.

Boss did freak out because boss thought I onboarded intern 1 without intern agreeing to the confidentiality agreement. Boss hadn’t considered an intern would forget the paperwork and didn’t tell me what to do if this did happen. I reassured boss that I had printed a new copy and had intern 1 sign the agreement.

I didn’t say anything about the word vomit. The content was troubling, but I was concerned this would be gossip and I wasn’t out to sabotage the intern.

Forgetting the paperwork and the word vomit were signs the intern wasn’t reliable. Intern had trouble taking direction even when it was written down. She’d do stupid things like invite her boyfriend to the office for hours and let BF sit at the boss’s desk—boss caught her and boss’s office is visible from our public viewing floor, so visitor did see this too. I suspected she might have an diagnosed learning disability.

In the end, intern didn’t ask for a reference letter. Boss said that if intern asked for one in the future, the answer would be no.

Intern 1 is the reason why I don’t want to be in change of interns ever again even though I’m not in art sales anymore.

Sometimes I get me thinking that the only coworker I consider real dev is the intern.

Really looking forward to go to a real coding job.

Not a rant but as an intern that is older than several of the members of the team I'm assigned to, including my mentor, it was still nice to be complemented on my ability to find workable solutions on my own rather than running for help whenever there is a problem.

I thought it was rather weird to be complemented on this but apparently how I work isn't always the norm.

My status:
Graduate student studying Computer Science at the University of New York at Buffalo.
4 Computer Vision and Image Processing Projects
3 Distributed Systems projects (Android apps).
Red Hat Certifications.
Applied to 135 companies for an internship program.
Here are the replies I have gotten so far.
" We have analyzed your resume and we think you'll be a great choice for this position at our company."
What position?
MARKETING INTERN.
FML!

So we got a new Front-End intern today.

My senior was demonstrating to her how to minify and beautify JavaScript codes.

And I'm like WTF dude she has worked with Front-End technologies and she knows that.
And who the fuck beautifies and again minify jQuery script. Totally idiot.

So today I asked my intern whom I have already asked to look and read about loggers and it's properties that what is the difference between log levels like INFO, WARN, etc and log.info() and log.warn() , etc?

I got a reply that first one is in uppperacse and second one is in lowercase.

I was an intern at a large company in Madrid throguh a program named ERASMUS+. Apparently we (my friend and I) was the first interns they ever had. So, we didn't get to work alot. Few html and css tasks.

Never got to touch the backend nor a real project. Good that they had lots of coffee machines.

And a great cafeteria with lots of pudding.

Spent two hours explaining to an intern the basics of version control and why you must always commit and pull before you push. He claims he understood how it worked. I come back the next day only to see my code was overwritten because he pushed and never pulled.. I get yelled at by my boss because he can't see the changes I made and assumes I was slacking off the previous day :/

I met this guy on my very first job. An internship. He was an intern too. We were doing Java and he was a brilliant programmer. We would try to finish the job as quickly as possible then stay back late to play 1v1 CS. (Yes on company LAN). We worked together for only 2 months. We are still in touch. Right now helping him with SOP for his master's thesis.

If there's something wrong in the server room
Who you gonna blame? (the intern)
If the hard drive's grilled
And it don't look good
Who you gonna blame? (the intern)

If you're seeing keys in your'r github's HEAD
Who you gonna blame? (the intern)
Your PC's on fire
and the website's dead
Who you gonna blame? (the intern)

Disclaimer: My internship was a pretty cool time actually... :)

Hello, devs! I'm an intern at a mobile games company. I used to work with the game development there, but today I started my work in the support/tools team. Am so glad I can use Linux and ruby there *-*

Our new intern gave our digitalocean login details to this so called web developer to upload a new website.

The webdev removed the droplet 😭

Debugging a previously employed intern code for hours (poorly written JavaScript). Found out they were comparing the exact string value of the input boxes. #smh

Best part of intern developper : that feel when you present what you've done to the users, and they're fond of it.

Spent 3 weeks working on an issue (raised by dev A) by following the suggested solution stated in the issue.
Pushed a PR and got told by dev B that it's not the correct solution.
Dude, I am just an intern here and following whatever they told me to do. If you have a problem with the solution, please discuss it with dev A.
Now I may have to let go of the issue completely because it turns out to be much more complicated, not for someone with intern level skill.
FML, I guess this won't be the last time I had this right?

I am only an intern and they said I can come to the office when I want to but I still feel like its making a bad impression if I dont go during the week :/

I'm working as an intern in a company and i have another intern that i must supervise (it like internception) .here is my daily nightmare :
- To start this intern never google something she copy paste from my code and if she got an error she send me a screenshot . Once the error message clearly said "cannot call function from array" and even that she didn't know what's the problem (she was supposed to it on array items)
-Before we started working together she spent a week complaining that a sending email function didn't work for her so the manager called me to check what's her problem. She had an antivirus that blocked request via ssl port.all i had done is open the log file and read the errors.
- She had a function should iterate over an array and for each item check a condition this is a part of what she wrote :
For ($i=0;count($categories);$i++){
if ($getrelativepath=null)
{
....etc other​ stuff she copy pasted.
Ps: the name of the function that she must call on array items is getRelativePath

- she wrote once
$response=array();
for (...){
array_push($response,$data[$i]);
return $response;}
She thought the function can iterate and return response at the same time.
- we are working on a website and she told me she doesn't know how to code Javascript and jquery (she think it's a language) and she never knew what ajax is.
- without mentioning the hundreds of empty spaces and multiple empty divs in html .
This year she'll become a computer science engineer .

why don't they like the interns at work? one little mistake, and you're fucked. everyone thinks you weren't a good choice to work on that team. they think if i'm an intern (and especially - a girl) then i'm dumb... like??? honestly, it makes me feel so bad and i myself start to feel like i'm truly dumb :(

When an intern makes a Wordpress website for a nonprofit and leaves the theme default logo, and it gets printed on all the collateral.

Is it fine that the company I am currently working on as an intern is making us finish the backend for the mobile apps without any documentation? We only have screens for the mobile apps and access to the database. 😢

Last Month I was working at a place as a intern and also working at another place as a Tech Consultant/Proj manager, managing interns at the same time.
What a emotional rollercoaster it was..............

So I was hired as a Graphic Designer. Now I'm tasked with the new job title of Graphic Designer/Web Coder/IT/Warehouse Inventory Inspector/Intern/Secretary. I have no idea what I'm doing anymore...

My client (not an engineer) has asked me access to production database and keeps asking an intern to directly query data from it instead of using the API.

I may be getting evicted due to landlord stupidity but at least I survived budget cuts and get to keep my job after internship. The full-time job offer will be emailed tomorrow

Two interns got cut but at least I and another intern survived.
But sadly now I have to go over my friends work and learn what they were doing well enough to continue it with the other survivor

When an intern gives me suggestions on technology stack to use for the new application I'm building...

The intern next to me is currently giving telephonic interview sitting in his cubicle 🙄

Biggest regret...
Choosing to dev on one of the less used cms ever: SPIP.
It's French, and had to use it when I was an intern. It have some interesting features, and can do quit a lot of things. But trying to find a job related to it is almost freaking impossible.
I tried to persevere into using it, but never got me anywhere. 🤔

At my internship we as interns had to work on a CRM system. We used the google api since the company is using google accounts already. Before the project is done my internship is over but I could start my traineeship 4 weeks later.

Together with another old intern/now trainee I spent 4 hours on debugging the login system the first day we came back. Turns out somebody thought we didnt need the application keys anymore and thus deleted the application from the google developer console....