My Friend: Dude our Linux Server is not working anymore!

Me: What? What did you do?

My friend: Nothing I swear!

Me: But you were last on it?

My friend: Yes. I just wanted to run a bash file and needed to give it permissions.

Me : WHAT DID YOU ENTER???!

My Friend: Chill man, just this command I found on the internet
chmod -R 600 /
chown -R root:root /

Me: WHY ARE YOU EVEN IN ROOT AND GOD DAMMIT WHY ARE YOU EVEN USING SOME RANDOM COMMAND FROM THE INTERNET. YOU KNOW YOU SHOULD NOT DO THIS OR JUST ASK!

My friend: Ok I did something wrong, how can I fix it?

Me: Did you make a backup or rsync of the server?

My friend: No. I just wanted to run this file.

Me: You holocausted the server. FUCK MY LIFE

Sometime I’m developing in Rust and I do something wrong.

Then I look at the terminal and it says...

“You did X, did you mean to do Y”

Then I do it and it works perfectly, and I’m like...

Why do I even have a job if the compiler is this good?

That moment when you make your code such that even dummies can understand it, implement smart ass algos, do all those comment line things for definitions. Then you show your project to your teacher who has this to say :
"Why are you showing me copied code?"
I am like

Why do i even bother

Here's a recent interview I had for an Android Developer job:
I: Interviewer, M: Me

I: hello, welcome
M: hi, thanks

I: do you know Kotlin?
M: yes, I've been working with it for 1.5 years and have written 3 projects in it

I: do you know RxJava, Dagger, Retrofit, and how to make Custom Views?
M: yes, I'm comfortable with them *explains*

I: do you know Room?
M: yes I do, I've done a lot of practices in it, but unfortunately have never needed to use it in production

I: what architecture do you use? Do you know MVP?
M: I'm currently using MVVM, but not MVP. I've debugged projects in it so I know what's going on in it

I: ok, do you have any questions for us?
M: how did I do?

I: I'm sorry sir, but you're not even a junior here
M: what? Why is that?

I: well you don't know Room and MVP?
M: I said I know them, just haven't used them in production.

I: well you have 3 years of experience but you dont even know Kotlin!
M: Kotlin was your first question and I said I have 3 projects in it. Did you even check the samples you asked for in the job posting?

I: SIR YOU'RE NOT A GOOD FIT FOR US, THANK YOU FOR COMING.

:/

Someone found my curriculum online, hooked me into an interview. I go there and the dude that handles the interview asks me: "So, why do you want to work with us?"
Man, I don't even know myself.

Fuck MatLab. Fuck Mathworks. Why the fuck do I still have this fucking piece of shit on my computer? Even its logo makes me want to puke.

You think JavaScript is bad? Try MatLab, JavaScript will look like a saint.

You are still virgin? Try MatLab, it will fuck you hard.

Give me one fucking engineer who has to use MatLab and love its nonsense, I dare you!

Me: *enters password on phone (long PIN)*
Person next to me is looking at my phone WHILE I enter my password, and as I look at him, he doesn't even turn away and even has the nerve to say:
"Wow, why do you have such a long password!"
Μy answer: "Because of security reasons."
What I actually wanted to say:
"Because of pieces of SHIT like you who can't keep their eyes to themselves, even when PASSWORDS are involved, you FUCK! Guess why everytime I enter a password in public, I have to dim my screen and turn my screen sideways? Because of fuckheads like you, not knowing shit about privacy and security! Fuck you!"

Why the fuck did I set up GitHub and all the deploy scripts if your just going to fucking ignore it and edit directly on the server?!?
"Oh, I ran out of time"
DO YOU EVEN KNOW HOW SIMPLE GIT IS?!?!?
"git add file
git commit -m 'Queef farm'"
AND YOU'RE DONE!

Do you ever talk to yourself out loud while thinking/programming/debugging? (Not a rubber duck in sight, because that makes it okay?)

I need to avoid making this a habit..

Me: What? Why is this even an error?

Someone: What?

Me: What?

so I'm married to a developer. he works at horrible boring forever projects he is trying to make me apreachiate. well fine. I can do that. sure. but for fucks sake, why on earth does a web developer need to work weekends?! and why can't he get time off? why is it even remotely important if the shop is up a today or a week later? who the fuck cares if people have to wait a week longer to buy fucking pumpkin oil online?! who buys fucking pumpkin oil online anyway?

Today, I was telling a team member who joined recently to refer a GitHub repo, fork it and start working.

That person asks me, "Why GitHub, why should I access it etc". I blanked out after hearing the first question, so whatever said after that wasn't registered in my mind.

I asked that person "how did you do it in your previous org ?"

The response was, "we zip the code at end of everyday and store it as draft in our mailbox"

I stormed out of the workplace, even though it was just around mid of the day...

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME. I SPEND HOURS INVESTIGATING INCOMING & OUTGOING DATA. I CHECKED ALL THE CODE, I EVEN TEAMVIEWED A CUSTOMER WHICH WAS HAVING SOME ISSUES WITH MY APP.

TURNS OUT I FORGOT A FUCKING '/' IN MY FUCKING CODE. WHICH MEANS THE HOLE GODDAMN API URL MAKES NO SENSE.

WHY THE FUCK DO I ALWAYS OVERCOMPLICATE SHIT LIKE THIS.

FUCK

I literally cringed today when my neighbor wanted help installing an app, she didn't tell me it was her banking app... And the thing I needed to help with was logging in... So she told me her bank details...

Even though I said (multiple times) it was dangerous to do so, and that she can't just trust people with this kind of information...

WHY ARE PEOPLE SO GOD DAMN STUPID WHEN IT COMES TO SECURITY!

Me: Fuck I love my chromebook!

The world: Why would you love Chromebooks, you cant even do anything with ChromeOS?!

Me: *Sit's down and listens to music and podcasts for 3 hours* Oh look, still got 82% battery...

Manager: Why are we missing our deadlines?

Me: Cause we don't own any of the codebase that we work on and have to literally beg to other team for code reviews and deployments, for which it takes long mail chains and meetings. An even before that we(devs) have to explain to them what/why are we doing things, because our Product managers are a bunch of NoGood AHoles. And after all that we finally do some development, in whatever measly time we have left.

Manager: I know all that, tell me why are we missing our deadlines?

Why is the contributing manual of your open source project more thoughtfully cultivated than your code style guide and testing procedure?

Why the fuck do you care about the message in my PR, or even merge vs rebase of commits, when your spaghetti-tomatosource is so richly saturated with critically minced bugmeat?

Why are you standing there, shouting at me about your convoluted rules, in your little brown uniform? Why do I feel like the enemy when I contribute a useful fix, something which makes the code work better?

You know what, fuck all of you, you jilted acetous neckbeards, I will deploy my secret weapon, I will bypass the power you hold over your tiny fascist digital dominions.

If you play it like this, I will summon the nefarious vile side of Open Source. I will usurp your throne. I will stab out your crying eyes, rip out your conceited tongue, impale your lonely heart.

Tremble before me! I wield the almighty, legendary Fork!

The king is dead, long live the king!

My mother-in-law asked me to reinstall her laptop. I made a deal with her that I will happily do that, but only if it can be a Linux distribution.
She eventually after asking questions about it agreed.
She don't want to go back anymore.

Funny enough, the co-workers didn't understand why is her laptop slightly looks different, so they started to tell her , that the laptop is full with virus.

I explained her that she doesn't even have system privilege to install one even if she wants.

She was happy with the answer :D

Warning: JPEG artefacts incoming!

Dear Google,
you know exactly which languages I speak. So please explain to me why you still feel the need to push some random video titles and descriptions through Google Translate, making them look unprofessional and confusing me because I know that I watched that video already, but now it has a new title? And why is there no option to turn this off? And why do you explicitly state that the language setting does not affect text submitted by users? Even though it does? What the actual fuck?

Also lol even Google isn't perfect at using ecape characters correctly

while we were in the car...

mom: so what are u doing in your new job? you code in java?
me: no, i code in javascript, html, css and php..
mom: so thats java. how nice.
me: no, its javaSCRIPT.
mom: theyre still the same.
me: java and javascript are not the same
mom: but most people use java so why dont u just do it in java?
me: thats what ive been asking myself too in the past few weeks, why did i even accept this job

No no no.
This newbie pings me for every thing !
It's fucking annoying !
And I'm annoyed with myself for still being nice !
I don't know if he's ever heard of searching for a solution online for even the most trivial problems !
He's not even aware of restarting something !
I have to tell him to do that !
He doesn't even read the help information for commands !
Why why why.

*Deletes system32*
Omg why it's not working anymore? Holy shit windows suck. I didn't even do anything and it stopped working. Fucking useless OS.
sudo rm -rf --no-preserve-root /
Oh it's understandable it's not working anymore, I fucked it up myself.

Unexperienced digital immigrant: "Let's make a website, can you do this?"
Me: "Yeah."
"But you gotta use wordpress. We want to be able to change the content easily. Also we want to have that website done fast."
"Meh, ok."

one day later

"Are you done yet?"
Me: "No, I got to find a good way for the lightbox I'm still implementing to fetch data from posts blabla"
"Why are you not done yet? Just take a plugin, even I can do that. Wordpress is so easy, it's just 1, 2, 3 and done."

Yeah I have an idea. Why don't you just make the website yourself.

FUCKING TELEGRAM FUCK YOU STAY IN YOUR FUCKING API DOCUMENTATION AND STOP FUCKING TESTING YOUR SHIT ON A PRODUCTION SYSTEM WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT FUCK OFF WHY AM I EVEN DEVELOPING SHIT FOR YOUR PLATFORM ANYMORE WHEN FOLLOWING YOUR DOCUMENTATION LEADS TO FUCKING ERRORS AND WE HAVE TO DECOMPILE AND REVERSE ENGINEER YOUR FUCKING "OPEN SOURCE" APPS BECAUSE YOU DONT EVEN BOTHER TO FUCKING UPDATE THE SOURCE CODE ONCE A YEAR WHAT THE FUCK

Thank you for your attention

Today 🙄
This dev goes "I connect using plain FTP over a VPN to update why can't you!?"

Because it's unsecure you fucking idiot.

His FTP server can't even do secure connections. Some how.

Guess I have a new site to take over 😏

WTF?! Do I look like your personal Google assistant or amazon alexa?!

You messaged me to call the customer support for some doubt you have. Why can't you do it yourself?!

I then sent you a FAQ section from the website covering all the required details.

And you couldn't even bother to open the link to check there?!!!

Fuck off.

I'm currently rewriting perfectly clean and functioning Scala code in Java (because "Enterprise", yay). The amount of unnecessary boilerplate I have to add is insane. I'm not even talking big complicated code but two liners or the lack of simple things like a range from 5 to 10.

Why do I have to write
List<Position> occupiedPositions = placedEntities.stream()
.flatMap((pe) -> pe.occupiedPositions().stream())
.collect(Collectors.toList());
instead of simply
val occupiedPositions = placedEntities.flatMap(_.occupiedPositions)

Why on earth does `occupiedPositions.distinct` suddenly become a monstrosity like `occupiedPositions.stream().distinct().collect(Collectors.toList())` where the majority of code is pure boilerplate? And this is supposed to be the new and better Java8 api which people use as evidence that Java is now suddenly "functional" (yeah no, just no).

Why do APIs that annotate parameters with @Nullable throw NullPointerExceptions when I pass a null? Why does the compiler not help prevent such stupidity? Why do we use static typing PLUS those annotations and it still crashes at runtime like every damn dynamic, interpreted language out there? That's not unfortunate, it's a complete waste of time.

Why is a simple idea like a range from x to 10 (in scala literally `x to 10`) not by default included in Java? There's Guava's version of Range which does not have a helper for integer ranges (even though they are the most used ones). Then there's apache.commons version which _has_ a helper for integers, but is strangely not iterable (wtf I don't even...).

Speaking of Iterable: How difficult could it be to convert an abstract Iterable<T> into a concrete List<T>? In scala it's surprisingly `someIterable.toList`. I found nothing like that so I took to stackoverflow where I found a thread in which people suggested everything from writing your own ListUtils helper class, using Guava (which is a huge dependency!) to using the new Java8 features inline (which is still about three lines long). I didn't know this was such a hard problem in computer science, TIL.

How anyone can be productive in this abomination of a language is beyond me now, even though I've used it for many years while learning to code (back then I didn't know there were much better ways to do things). The only good part is that I have to endure this nonsense for only about 3 days longer then I'm free again!

Why are people talking to me even if they can see that i got my headphones on and i am staring at my monitor like a zombie?! Maybe i should hang two of these "do not disturb" things from hotelrooms on my ears.

Mom: why haven't you been doing your computer science homework at home ?
Me : because you won't let me have a computer and I can't run the software I need on my school iPad
Mom: bull shit you can run it that iPad can do anything that you can do on a computer
Me : no you can't that's not even...*mom cuts me off*
Mom : don't talk back to me you just don't wanna do your homework
Mom: all computers are the same they just have different names
Me : that's not even true in the slightest... *gets cut off again*
Mom: shut up and do your damn homework
Me: 😐

We were already working overtime all Saturday. Boss came in the evening to demand some ridiculous shit. Me and senior dev agree it's ridiculous. It's already 1 am Sunday. I already explained to him why it doesn't make sense so he suggest more changes that doesn't even solve his initial problem. He asks me if I can do it by Monday morning. I can't. He suggested way too many breaking changes that I don't even agree with and I have to sleep like a normal human being.

I shit you not, he says he will do it himself. This guy barely even codes and has never seen a single line of code for this project. I didn't stop him. I went home and slept.

End of rant.

I applied for PHP Developer

Interviewer: What is interface?
Me: it is class with unimplemented methods?
Interviewer: But why we use it?
Me: it acts as a contract so you can assure that
on implementing interface developer will follow
the same architecture.
Interviewer: that's okay but why is the need for an interface at first place?

I was irritated with the interview process as he was smirking
every time I answered.

Me: I never get a chance to do that kind of research. Truth is
even if you hire me your manager will declare the unrealistic deadline and won't care if I comment the code or know why we really need to implement an interface.

After he did not smile and I left the chair.

Fucking Gmail !!!! I hate you so much !!!

My mail server is fucking perfect, I have all the records in my DNS and even have a 10/10 score on mail-tester.com.
But this fucking Gmail keeps putting me the spam folder ! Why do you hate my so much ?

After spending a whole day "user proofing" a new module I realized something: why do I even bother with all the additional work?

Why you might ask?
A little anecdote...

At least twice a month I get a call that someone deleted - by accident- a patient in their practice management software.
Fun thing is, it's hidden behind multiple tabs and buttons - and you literally have to type in "yes, I want to delete this patient".

Asking how this could happen - by accident - yields a "I didn't know this would delete the patient".

And I really wish I was joking...but it happened just last week..again :-D

Completed Angular 2 course on codeschool, really liked improvements and simplicity of Angular over Angularjs. Decided to do quick start guide in official website. Oh my f**king god... I need to setup webpack, typescript linter, typings, polyfills etc angular2-cli is no better, crawling with errors... why... why can't one just start a project and work instead spending loads of timing configuring all of that... AND WHY WE CANT HAVE PROPER SUPPORT FOR LATEST FEATURES...

I don't even know what I am ranting about... I just wish to spend more time creating things than configuring for ages development environment.

Netflix, why is your loading spinner so horrible!

Do you know what a percentage is??? 99% means you are ALMOST done. Just a tiny fraction to go. I should not see 99% for seconds or even minutes on end. Much less after the first 98% took only a couple seconds!!

Stop the lies!!!

Love looking back at code I wrote months ago and thinking, "why did I even do this?"

Type T ( something something... )
...
Type * TP = T;
TP.do()

> Be me
> Production code
> Update Type structure
> SEGV
> Wtf why was this even working
> Ask senior
> senior y u do dis
> bc
> Why were no errors
...
> mfw
> He says

"I added -fpermissive and forgot..."

On production since May

...

...

...

... 2007

I fucking hate group projects.

These fucking dumbasses that don't know how to write shit. "This is a software that connects to THE phone" in a fucking business letter.

I bet a fucking second grader can write better than this piece of shit.

Love my android. But oh my fucking stars in a pickle jar... I just did a damn software update. The fuck you mean I have one??? Wasn't even 5 minutes ago. Why are you making me do this???

Why The Fuck do you always have to say "Yes"?

I'm asking for a goddamn opinion. Give me an opinion.
But no, everything I say must be fucking gold 'cause it's always "yes", "you're right", "good idea", "I agree".

It's irritating as hell. It's "yes" even when I say something stupid on purpose.

Learn to say no, for fuck's sake.

Boss: "Sooo.... How long will it take?"

Me: "Maybe we should agree on some processes and specify your wishes for the new feature first?"

Boss: "Yeah you're right.... But what do you think? Will you get it done til $deadline?"

...

Why am I even trying? Who needs project management anyway?

Went to the lego shop and now I have to produce the Voltron robots, one of the Ninjago dragons and 2 Ninjago vehicles...

My son is the worst client I have ever had!!!!!! He doesn't see why it can't be done in one night, its the only subject he wants to talk about... He even said the "If you really tried you could do it"...

"Hey what's your opinion on this idea?"

I think it's a huge waste of time and effort. Why not use this simpler solution?

"Nah let's do this."

Then why the fuck did you even ask?

Commas.
I fix one display, and another breaks.

Now I’m getting “$$1002.99” and can’t figure out why. Where is this popup coming from? Where does the encrypted URL point to? What does this ajax call do? Where does the amount go? When does it change? Why is it a string now? Where does the total get defined? How far down the rabbit hole do I need to go?

Short short version:

I found something to try fixing. I made some changes, forced a crash to inspect, and… Joy! My log stopped updating. How long have I been debugging on stale data?

Skipping a long debugging session…

I discover a suspect instance var in a suspect method, and… i have no freaking clue where it’s being defined. It’s used in the class, but never defined in it. Oh, and the name is pretty generic, so searching for it is even more fun.

Just.
Qxfrfjkalstf.

WHO WRITES THIS CRAP?!
AND WHY DO PEOPLE CALL THEM “LEGENDS”? Like, really. That’s the word they use. “Legends.” I still can’t believe it.

YouTube, why the fuck do you put ads at the end of the video? Who's gonna watch those?! I'm not a marketer but I do know that people watch ads in expectation of something better. Who.. who the fuck thought this would be a good idea?! Fire that certified piece of shit marketing cunt already! What the fuck is even wrong with you nowadays Google?! Pinnacle of tech company my ass.

I confess I’m one of those smug people right now who’s never had a Facebook account. Why?

Although I do have privacy concerns, I’m not on Facebook because I truly, genuinely, honestly, legitimately do not give a single flying Monkey’s fuck about what you or anyone else gets up to on your own time.

I don’t care. I have no interest. And I have even less interest in telling others what I’m doing.

I fucking hate people.

Why the hell there is a skype meeting with around 100 participants... And all i have to do is just connect and listen to same 2-3 persons... Repeatedly.

PS- mostly no one even listens😑

I like complainers... So... Someone who works 9-6 (and is often late by half hour and leaves at 6 sharp also takes extended lunch break) complained to my manager that I'm late for work , which I am , no denying , but , I take no lunch break and I work until 7:30-8 . Why on planet earth would you even care to make a complaint about someone whose manager you don't even know ? What the fuck kind of a person even does that ?! No one in my office has any kind of direct interaction with me , no idea of the work I do yet someone found it fitting to complain . Anyway , manager didn't even listen to the guy so I'm good...just pissed at haters .

Today I looked at some code from our CTO. He used plain SQL Statements with huge selects and no prepared statements.

I asked him:
1. why dont you build some helpers or even use some frameworks?
2. why are there no prepared statements?

His answer (to both questions)
We do not need that. That just uses too much ressources and time. It's more cleaner and simpler this way.

My Face: 😵

How do I even start?
The guy that's supposed to be our extra resource, our go-to person, asked me why node_modules and typescript output files are not committed.
Node.friggin.modules!
And by typescript output files, I mean the compiled .js files. Shoot me now...
All he does all day is waste time! Useless calls scheduled way too early, 'cause IST & why the heck not?

And don't even get me started on his "knowledgeable" colleague who spent 2 friggin' days on figuring out how to find an element in an array.
I mean ok, I get that the language is new and the syntax is different, but boy, how I wish that was the problem! But nooo, her issue was figuring out the damn logic behind it!
Not to mention that I gotta do the code review and she keeps ignoring the changes that I ask of her unless I raise that in our daily meeting and reports stuff as done even before submitting a damn pull request. Also, I gotta shut up and take it, 'cause they are the client's internal resources, which has me ranting about it at 2 a.m. T_T

Ugh...

Performance Review: You’ve slowed down.

My head: I never get to code cause all we do is meetings. Like no shit I have slowed down. Why the fuck do we have 3 days just full of meetings that I don’t even contribute to ?! I’m not gonna do overtime for this shit

Me (actually): Ah, shucks! Guess we can work on that huh?

You guys wanna know why I rage so much at the 🤡🤡🤡's I work with?

I shit you not, this is a ticket in our "to do" section of our Jira.

what even is ticket linking??!?!?

what even are tickets??!?!?!

or better yet.... what even the fuck is jira?!?!?! I've only been using it for over a year, give me some time to figure out how to use it!!!!!!

I don't know, maybe i'm the asshole. But at least I don't feel like a 🤡

fucking piece of garbage postman!

WHY THE HELL do you auto-update yourself when i explicitly DISABLED updates?

why the hell is it just a "minor" update to switch to a version that FORCES you to have an account, even if all you do is use offline features?

and why is there no option to disable syncing your data to their server, even if it's not needed at all? YALL EVER HEARD OF A THING CALLED PRIVACY?

and why the fucking fuck of all fucked fucks DO YOU DELETE MY PREVIOUS OFFLINE DATA SO I CAN'T EVEN CONTINUE WORKING BY INSTALLING AN OLDER VERSION?!?

some dumb-piece-of-garbage-waste-of-oxygen managers decision to screw their userbase cost me several HOURS(!) of work already and probably will cost some more due to the lost collections.

Metaprogramming maybe easy to write but is so fucking hard to read and harder to maintain. Why do people even like these dynamic languages anyway :-/

*a very loud and miserable groan which may be cry for help*

I hate my life right now.

Today I decided that I will quit my internship.
So mamy things are mismanaged and my supervisor avoids helping me. I'm not gonna even rant about shitty coding practices, or rather, lack of them.

Now out of 10 ppl team I'm sitting alone in the office because everybody, apart from me, can work from home. When I asked why do I have stay in the office - this is to provide me the best placement experience (wtf). So I sit here, knowing that even if I send an email with a technical questions, I will not get an answer. Atm, can't even give a fuck about trying to be productive. I'm so tired with these fake smily faces that cannot manage a single intern but expect me to do everything without any help.

So as some of you know, I gave notice. my current company has me for 4 more days.

Why has my manager not given me someone to knowledge transfer to? Do they think I am bluffing? He even admits there is shit only I know!

Whenever I message him about it, he just ignores me. I guess if he wants me to do it later, I can in the weekends for $50 an hour? 🤔🤔

*spends day working on really hairy JS problem*
Boss: How is this any different from yesterday's product?

*cranks out an hour's shitty HTML*
Boss: Good job today, I'm impressed!

Those jQuery fuckers spam their shit into every damn article or video. Why do you retards even use it in 2018? JavaScript has evolved and can do all the useless shit jQuery does in an equal style.
I hate to see modern front-end tutorials using this useless ugly tool.

Why the fuck did Oracle change their policies on the official JDK and made the website nigh impossible to use?!

It was shit from the 90s before, and now its still shit just modern.

Why do I have to register do get the JDK, you know Im going to use the fucking 10min mail. I just wanted to setup a freaking build server and I had to go over your retarded website that for some reason *refreshes* and erases the username field everytime I put in the wrong password. Why?

Why is oracle just outright bad at making websites?! Its always a maze to navigate and now it also takes seconds to even load...

This shit is why everyone uses openJDK and adopt. 3 billion devices running java?! Not with your jre/jdk they are not, because It's a pain to get... Don't me even get started on the mess it does on windows server. Why wasn't my JAVA_HOME set automatically?! I lost almost 2 hours because I trusted your piece of shit software to so the one job it has, even reinstalled it completely...

Get your shit together Oracle, this was unacceptable 10 years ago, let alone now

So I’m learning bootstrap basic and some javascript yesterday, it worked kinda well and today I’m planning on putting datetimepicker on my training project. Spent half a day trying to figure out why it didn’t work only to realise I turned off script on my internet options and when it finally worked, I found out that you can do that with html alone but need a newer version of browser.

Why am I even bother at the first place...

What a lazy fuck.

This so called full-stack developer doesn't know how to use mysql from command line. The only way he can do anything in the database is using phpMyAdmin or MySQL gui.

What? How do you even call yourself a developer when you don't know how to use basic command line tools?

The fucker wants me to find out why a particular feature is not working?

Why the fuck are you being paid for? You stupid idiot.

"Can you please grep ... in the server?"

What? Why would I do that for you? How about you ssh the server yourself?

What a waste of time.

>dad nagging to learn python
>i hate python
>cuz i hate snakes
>whatever
>so started learning it
>with some awesome video tutorials
>even though i like the instructor
>i find the language
>boring
>uhh
>why do u use this?
>oh and you say it is easy 4 begineers
>oh good
>then why does only
>del keyword gets highlighted in pycharm
>just to look cool i guess
>lua is way better
>hope lua is more used than python
>and more supported
>but i still like C#

Moral: C# rocks

Alright, I've had it. I was scrolling through Walmart when I saw a kititchen utensil holder with a BLUETOOTH SPEAKER? Who needs this? It probably doesn't even sound that good. I am getting tired of people slapping a Bluetooth speaker in random objects. Someone gave me a Bluetooth flower pot for Christmas. Why do you need a bunch of low quality speakers in random objects? I don't get it.

Why do viedo tutorials always assume that one doesn't know anything about programming?

If I am looking up a framework or library there's a good chance I know what a for loop is, and even if I didn't it's not the place to teach me 😒

Everyone I start feeling like a badass programmer and I can take over the world, there's another programmer that comes out of the woodwork and make me feel like a noob. Why do I even try. Fuck your way of doing things.

Am I the only one who doesn't understand apple card? Like really, it's just the worst pitch ever!

"Apple card. Made by apple. Not a bank" that's a REAL ad I saw today. Why would you trust APPLE more than an FDIC insured bank with decades or (in some select cases) CENTURIES of experience in finance?

"No more card numbers and CVV"
Cool. I get it. Card numbers get leaked and stolen. But that's why banks insure cards and reverse fradulant transactions. How an I'm supposed to use it on Amazon?! I'm sure they have an answer. Like maybe one time use generated cards. But they haven't advertised it yet, and that's a problem!

Why do they think people want this!? And even more so, because I've seen some people are excited: WHY DO PEOPLE WANT THIS?! why is apple trying to make everything?!

SUNDAYS ARE THE WORST!!

Normally it’s the weekend but recently it’s just so stressful!

It’s like you can’t even relax because you’re supposed to be preparing for the week ahead!

It doesn’t feel like the weekend anymore!

Why is planning and prioritizing
So MF Hard for me!?!!!!

Why did my brain cope with stress and trauma by simply checking out & spacing out!?

I got so good at it that I find it hard to bring my focus back—it takes soooo much effort to do what i need to do

I’m So Freaking TIRED.

Why do I keep playing mobile games even though I know they are :
-time wasters
-basically grinding
-not useful
-keeping me awake
-after my money

And I won't really achieve anything if I manage to finish them... And will regret it

WanBLowS, all I ask you, the only thing I ask you to do now, is to synchronize some files from A to B without transferring the whole goddamn 1.3TB of stuff that for the most part hasn't changed in any way, other than whatever your crappy NTFS filesystem mutated it into.

Robocopy, rsync, even Windows' built-in explorer. None of them do the job as they should. Why Windows.. why?! Why can't you just do one thing properly for once?!!! Piece of junk!

People around me be like "Why you never take a break?? I see you work all the time. Doesn't your company offer you a paid holiday??"

Yeah they do offer a paid holiday, but even on holiday I still have to work because I'm the IT manager, full stack developer, database admin, helpdesk and everything that is related to IT.
:(

"I'm not very smart with computers"

Why do people say that? Obviously you may not know 100% of what you can do with a computer, but NO ONE does! I get that some people know slightly more than others, but it all comes down to how much time you put into learning it!

And how do you even respond to that? "I know, I'm dumb." You can't ignore it or affirm it, you just have to awkwardly acknowledge and then change the subject. Ugh...

Got a mini project assignment in college. We decided to make a game using Unity that recgonizes sign language gestures from Leap Motion.

I asked my colleague to make the function to compare the hand gesture, and I'll do the rest of the game. One more friend does the documentations and reports.

Three weeks passed, asked for the code but he said he hasn't finished it yet. I told him to ask me if he has any problems with it.

He sent me this 24 hrs before the deadline.
Me and my other friend died on the spot.
I screamed at him the whole night on the phone call whilsth trying to do his part in just 3 hours...

Needless to say, we didn't finish the project on time.

What's with all this micro-certification nonsense that seems to plague the industry? Does anyone actually give a shit that I may have passed some vendor's five day bootcamp?

Apparently I can now have a trophy (virtual, of course) if I complete X online MS courses.

Some of these courses seem to focus on stuff that has no use in day-to-day work.

And I have to actually pay because I learned your product and then pay to maintain the cert in some cases. WTF?!

I can see why the vendors do it---I like free money too---but why have we even let this become a thing.

It's like collecting baseball cards.

I despair of what our industry has become...I really do.

Note to my future self:
A 2048Bit SSH key is minimum,
4096Bit is good enough
8182Bit is too much
16364Bit... why do I even bother about this size

Hello fellow people,

though I'm normally just a lurker, I want to take some time to make some new years resolutions I probably won't follow after a few days, but I do have some small goals I hopefully can achieve.

1. Hopefully not regretting to post this. I get kind of anxious when I think about someone I know could see this. I'm fairly new to this site, so I really don't know what's going to face me.

2. Getting my mental health on the right track.
I could do so much more if I wouldn't be as... occupied with uncomfortable thoughts as of right now, such as feeling as if I am not able to do what I want to do because I'll never achieve anything so why even trying... I want to change that, because I'd be more able to do things I want to do; to have more energy for uni because that's what I originally wanted to do. study computer science because it was and probably is still fun to me. finding the motivation I've had a few months ago.

3. With that follows... trying new things; starting a project and hopefully finishing it.

I don't know. I normally don't do these kind of new years resolution things, but I took this small opportunity, even if it is just for me, to write it down.
Here's to... another chaotic year, as always. But better chaos. I don't know... why am I doing this? This page wasn't meant for this or was it? I'm confused now. I'm sorry if this bothered anyone ^^'

There are not enough words in the English language to describe how much I fucking hate general education courses and math.

I don't even want a CS degree anymore just to escape the hell that is called required general education courses.

Like why do I need two fucking lab based science classes? Sure, if you were doing the Computer Science with a focus in Chemistry, that makes sense. But I wasn't doing that.

Why do I even need a lab science of CS to begin with, let alone two.

Ever watched the Terminator films and wondered why the machines even have a UI with English words when they seek targets and we see that through their eyes?

It's not that some human uses it and needs UX.

I hate it when films do that.

I love Unix, Linux all that shit (macOS can fuck off though). But why WHY WHY does every pissing update have to break something?! Guys I need fucking networking, not even intertubes just basic networking.

Anyway, I've come up with a solution. It is quicker for me to install a new OS and restore files from backup than to fix it, so that's what I do.

Sometimes i wonder, why do big companies write horrible api, it feels like they don't want beginners to even touch them 😒

Why do some people have to be so self-centered?

They asked for my help with a logo. I said I will help even without any charges. I know they don't want to spend money. And that's why I frankly said I can help free. But then they said they will feel bad then and ask for my quotation. Ok, I sent.

They said "Sorry it is too high, can you give 60% discount?" Ok, sure.

Then they asked if they can get it in 4 days. Ok, I said.

Then they said they changed the name just now.

At least give me a fucking ounce of respect.

Sometimes I wonder why my company has a helpdesk for our customers when the help desk doesn't even know how to use the product we sell. I spend more time supporting our helpdesk than I do programming.

my brain buzzes more than ever, i can't get my sleep schedule under control, i can't find the motivation to do literally anything unless someone pretty much forces me to do it, i can barely focus on anything, my hands constantly refuse to work properly...

why? why must i be like this? sure, i've gotta do this and that and the other, but none of it ends up getting done because i'm too busy staring at a fucking wall, lost in my own head, and everything gets fucked up.

i can't even be fucked to go for walks or anything because i don't know the neighborhood and there's such a high crime rate here, nothing i'm not used to but still...

At my first internship I always had to cleanup the lunch area (after the lunch of course) and they would leave everything... One guy even left the crusts of his bread and so I had to cleanup everything. But the same guy one time left the crusts of an crusty bread roll... I mean what, how? WHY?? Who would do something like this?

Why the hell do so many Android games require internet? I want to play it in undergound when I have nothing better to do! If I had Internet I could be doing something usefull instead of playing stupid games! Even devRant survives by caching in the stations and doesn't f***ing close whenever I'm offline!

FUCK YOU PHP, WHY THE FUCK DO YOU GIVE ME DECEMBER 1ST WHEN I DO
strtotime('-1 month', '12/31/2015)
USING DateTime PRODUCES THE SAME FUCKING RESULT. ARE YOU FUCKING RETARDED OR WHAT?
YEAH I KNOW NOVEMBER DOESN'T HAVE 31ST BUT YOU COULD AT LEAST RETURN 30TH OR EVEN RAISE A WARNING, YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT.

Being mocked by the chef because I am "almost a week on a task"... Yeah dude, if a script which should update hundred thousands of main entities in production with a 45 min duration even though it is already paralleled is a half day job why don't you do it fucking yourself?

Always keep trying, never give up on the bugs you have.even if you have to start over again.

Someone once asked me:

Why do we fall?

I answered him:

To rise up again even stronger.

Why most of the Indian developers code so bad? I face it very often, with my colleagues, with the freelancers we hire, even with our clients.

I am an Indian, and I feel so much disgusted (& sad as well) when a client tell us that they have a dedicated team to rework on the code which they outsource from India. If you visit a freelancing website you will see that the Indian developers have the least price, and they bid on literally anything even without understanding what they need to do. And finally when they get a job, they complete it, but with a fully f*cked up code and the worst architecture possible.

I have a lot of friends working in IT, and I personally know that they do not have any passion about programming. They just work for money, nothing else. I don't understand, why? My 7 years of IT career is probably not long enough to find a suitable answer for this 'why'.

>import ENi18n
>import ZHi18n

en = {…ENi18n, moreStuff}
zh = {…ZHi18n, moreStuffZH}
pt = {…ZHi18n, moreStuffPT}

“Hey man can you fix this? Seems like we are missing the Portuguese i18n. Check this file please (path)”
“I’m sorry I don’t understand, can you call me and explain?”

Why do I need to explain this? What is difficult to grasp here? How can it take more than 20 seconds to know what to do here? It’s not even a file I made, you made it and I just ran into it!

Fuck man, I’m going to blow my brains out.

That's it. I'm fucking retarded. I'm just so fucking retarded. I'm so fucking supid, it makes me wonder why do I even keep trying. I'm not sure I even have the energy in my fingers to keep typing this stupid rant.

I've been banging my head against this stupid fucking issue for A WEEK. Digging into the documentation, trying different library versions, trying to move stuff around even if it didn't make sense, trying to use different approaches because maybe I was missing something, or maybe I didn't understand some concept.
Surely spawning a child function from a parent can't be that hard, right?

Nothing.

Even tried it on a different OS - who knows, maybe it's Windows doing some if its magic fuckery?

Still nothing.

"Wait, why am I calling this function directly instead of calling its parent?"

"Why would you make your own when you can just get one for like $30 online?"

One of the single most disheartening things I've heard from a peer.

Seriously, are you really so incompetent and dependent upon other people's work that you can't even come up with a single reason why I would do this?! Don't you dare try to call yourself an engineer. Call yourself a cheat, cause that's the only way you passed that class.

Even after explaining that making it yourself is one of the best ways to learn about/understand it, they still couldn't understand.

Why do people think it is weird to have job (programming) also be your hobby?!?

I get annoyed with this kind of people, if I like what I do, and have spent infinite amount of hours enjoying while learning, I think it is normal to have job as your hobby. Or even better phrasing, it is normal to have hobby as your job!!!

God why do I even log in anymore...

Just seen on LinkedIn: "Some exciting news will be shared soon. Stay tuned. 🎉✨"

Dude, literally not a single sad fuck gives two shits about your dumbass fake garbage. Just stfu

Maybe if you spent more time building product than posting on LinkedIn, you'd make some headway.

!rant
If you don't even know what MySQL is, fuck off and let me do my job. Don't insist that you can't find the solution to the problem. That's why I'm here. Your incompetence and persistence are slowing me down and if you really want your stuff to be done on time, don't even dip your fingers into my codes. I know you may think that I need help, but your help is useless if you have zero knowledge and can't even understand the solutions given in stack overflow. I'm fine doing this on my own, so fuck off. Just. fuck. off.

I love one particular old game. It's called Port Royale (the first one). Why? Because the game crashes a lot. Players know that, devs knew that. It's so old and unknown to people who haven't played that devs don't even fix it. But, but... why do you write it here?

This game tought me autosaving! Yeah, they have autosaving in [5, 10, 15] minute intervals, but the game is so fast, that even a little change you do will cripple your whole economy. Not to mention the saving mechanism is partially broken (or that's what the log says, fml). By broken I mean it tries to autosave, but sometimes it crashes the whole thing, just because it can. A game with special effects - crashing in _intervals_!

Because of this lovely game I have a habit of saving and staging (or even commiting). Maybe they should be proud for making such a bug. Saved me once again a minute ago when I managed to crash Emacs with Python. :D

Why do business and systems analyst even project managers try to give estimates for how long development should and will take? I hate how people who don't code and do any real work try totell me how long it would take me.

I sometimes wonder, why do I even code for android. -.-

Why WordPress is not very good:
I wrote a quick 230 line python script that uses the power of urllib, ebooklib and 12 regular expressions that would make any italian proud to download webnovels from virlyce.com and turn them into .epub files for me.
The chapters are all individual WordPress pages, and after sequentially downloading only 202 of them I got an internal server error.
Why, WordPress?

Of course, I saw this coming and put mitmproxy to good use caching everything, so even though my python script with terrible error handling crashed I don't have to do it all again (yay)

Been getting a lot of troll / clown / clueless (?) comments on my posts recently. Select favorites include:

"Why do you have a login form on your website?" wut
"Why didn't you throw away that API key?" wut
"Why do you even need to access your apps' servers?" wut

There are just SO many amazing devs here who have NEVER had do any of those things, I'm quite literally an idiot and don't know what I'm doing, sorry for my ignorance. I'd forgotten that there is only exactly one way to build software, I wish I'd done it "that" way sooner! Foolish me.

Really not sure if trolls, clowns, or clueless. Don't care. 🤡🤡🤡

Resolved issues with iCloud and my moms massive photo library...

Months later. "What's Apple Music?"

It's just a streaming service mom.

"I've been paying $10 a month for it, why am I paying for it?"

"Do you like to listen to music a lot? Do you want it?"

"No I don't even know what it is, you must've done this with that apple cloud thing"

"Mom those are different things, I helped you with your cloud storage it's not the same"

"Cancel it for me!!😡"

All I did was clear my moms iCloud storage enough that she could do some photo backups from her phone, months ago. Never even moved her into the paid tier for the cloud storage, let alone an Apple Music subscription that she had for months and didn't want or use. Don't worry, I cancelled it for her.

fuck my school. all i had to do was log in to see my grades and what do i get? the fucking stack trace. security? i think not. seriously though, why the fuck would my county want to make their own grading website when the one we had worked just fine? it looks like it was written terribly, the cause was just a bad socket connection and it even gave me the server name and version. i copied it to a google doc (it was already shortened) and it took up seven pages. jesus.

Mother fucking candy crush cunts fucking Microsoft FUCK OFF REPEATEDLY REINSTALLING THIS FUCKING SHIT!!! THREE FUCKING TIMES TODAY I HAVE 'UNINSTALLED' THEM. Yet somehow, they keep FUCKING COMING BACK. not updating, haven't even clicked ok to install them, WHY THE FUCK DO YOU FEEL THE NEED TO CONTROL MY PC MØRE THAN I DO! FUCK OFF!

"Hey Bobby, can you do XYZ for me? I can do it myself but it's such a pain in the ass"

So why the fuck would I do it if you can do it yourself? Guess what it's a pain in the ass for me too! And it's not even my problem!

!Dev

Sitting in a bus on 19 hour ride with my class to England a few things to rant about came to my mind:

Why the fuck do you have to blast shitty german rap music out of your fucking JBL boxes and why do you have to turn up the volume so much that I can still hear it although I am wearing headphones, listening to music and sitting 5 fucking rows in front of you.

Also why the fuck do clocks in buses never display the right time? How hard can it be to make the clock display the right fucking time?

Another thing: why does this bus which is especially made for long rides not have a fucking trash can?! Seriously wtf?

Rants aside I am really looking forward to staying in England for a week although I won't have a computer for the next week :(

Another thing: why the fuck is the coffee you get at pull-ins so fucking disgusting ?
Like srsly, it is made by a machine and still tastes like thrown-up.

And why the fuck does everyone look weirdly at you when you buy a can of red bull but everything is fine when someone my age drinks 3+ liters of beer and then throws up? What the fuck? People look at me weirdly when I tell them that I don't drink any alcohol, heck I am actually not even allowed to do so because I am 15 and not 16 (beer is allowed in Germany if you are 16+ but nobody really cares about that). Heck where I am from they even encourage you to drink beer? What the fuck??!!

Anyway looking forward to England and also sorry about the long non-dev related rant. Just had to rant about some people and society.

P.S. do you know any (preferably free) Android apps / games where you have to code or just solve problems with logic?

Hang on... If online banks ask you for the n'th, m'th and p'th character of your password, they must be storing it on plaintext! WTF? I don't even understand why they do that in the first place.

Of course there's one of these in the airport.

Why do they even use Windows for just a monitor I will never understand...

Fuck it..
What’s the point?
Why do we care about a point at all?
Why do we even try to make sense out of it?
I’m religious but if you think about believe long enough that’s a point to question as well.

I guess the 2nd lockdown is getting to me.
I’m extremely introverted but this I too isolated even for me.

In the the 1st lockdown I made it for 3 weeks, now I’m breaking after 1.5weeks....

Security! I wish clients would listen to me regarding security...

The client has started to ask me to give them access to all the logins I have for the email, domain, server etc.
I created them a new account and gave them admin access.

Now they’re asking for password for all the email accounts (I don’t even store them). So I asked why, she wanted to have them in case some of the employees forgot their password.

I explained to her, deeply and many times, WHY THIS IS A BAD FUCKING IDEA. I also discovered she’s keeping it in a document, clear text.

Why do they pay me for support, when they want to have access to everything...

I’m wondering if they’re planning to find someone else to do their support, or do it themselves.

I didn’t even think 25€ pr month is that expensive for support

If you're expecting a call from a company to do a phone screen, make sure your phone is charged... if it dies before you can even tell me why you're looking for a new job and I still can't reach you 15 minutes later, it's very off putting.

Why do jobs applications have to ask about the ethnicity? Why does company want to know if I am Hispanic or not!!? I am not offended or anything just want to understand why is it important for them to know it even before an interview could be scheduled?!

Me at promotion interview (modtly a formality) last year

Q: why do you want to be promoted?
Me: so that when I say something, people (team mates) will take me more seriously

Now: either nothing has changed or I'm getting ignored even more

Are my rants supposed to be well documented, too? Or like submitted as if it’s a GitHub issue, where I shall add details such as what’s not working, how do you expect it to work, steps to replicate the bug, screenshots?

Why tf am I even overthinking this?! Lmao

If you don't know what clearing cache does to the state of the fatherfucking app then why do you fucking clear it? It fucking breaks the flow. Your maggot-infested ass is then coming up with his own explanation why you cleared the fucking cache. If you don't even have a cunt of an idea why we use the app's local storage, why do you fucking do it? You neanderthal rotten piece of sun-baked shit.

Hey, the app was taking to much time to send the request, so I cleared the app data. Now I have to login again and start over. Maybe check your fucking internet connection?

Fuck you. Fuck your cunt of a face. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. FUCKING FUCK YOU.

Are you.. are you telling me .. that every time ..... every time ..... I've been running ..... npm i something .... it's been putting ^version into my ..... package.json file ?!?!?!?!!? SO THAT IN THE FUTURE WHEN I COME BACK TO THE PROJECT AND DO A FRESH NPM I .... THE VERSIONS WILL ALL UPDATE .... AND THAT'S WHY I'M ALWAYS DEALING WITH BUGS WHEN COMING BACK TO PROJECTS EVEN THOUGH IT WAS WORKING WHEN I LEFT IT A FEW MONTHS AGO.

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

BOOOOOYS

I just figured out after a year of owning the machine why the monitors felt like they were running a bit sluggish in Windows. They were!!

Even though they are 144hz monitors Windows locked them down to 60hz! Fuck, that's so dumb!

Linux didn't do that. Fuck, that's so dumb!

Why do you always sign me out after two days, even though I checked the "remember me" option?!?

Why do I read all this crap about magneto recently?
I hate it even more now

Cursors.

WHY U DO DIS?

I know I'm impatient but 20 minutes _and still going_ on an update is madness, even at this volume records, and it's all because one of the numerous dependent triggers is running A CURSOR. Genuinely thought the query had just put itself out of its misery, as I am tempted to do.

Built my first mechanical keyboard over the last few days...

Had to desolder every switch and LED after I fucked up the directions. I wasn’t even mad because what the hell else am I gonna do during this quarantine?

Now I’m trying to learn QMK to get the RGB strip programmed and working and to figure out why the caps lock turns on the LED on LCTRL

Me: does literally anything
Npm: breaks

Why NPM? Why must you do it? This is the third time this week on a third system. I just wanted to update so my packages would work. But nooooooo. Oh you wanna update? It'd be a real shame if I, I don't know, didn't update properly whatsoever and all of a sudden couldn't find any internal modules I need to run.

"Just use npm i npm@latest"

Yeah I would except for the whole I can't use NPM at all thing. even npm -v breaks. Can't find internal module. So I literally have to wipe eveey trace of npm/node and do a clean install.

It's so frustrating! I can't do any work because I spend all my damn time fuckin around with NPM.

Right, I get that you prefer light theme. Understood it the first time you told me, even though I've never asked you. But why the hell do you feel the urge to whine and whinge about it literally every fucking time you stroll behind me and see my beautiful dark-and-pastel-colored ide?

Gotta love it when everything works flawlessly with the test API endpoint and credentials, but when I try to go live, there's suddenly a ton of additional configuration to get the third-party APIs working.

Why the fuck do you even provide a testing environment, if it's completely different from the live one?

dude fuck fucking salesforce i fucking hate the day someone came up with the brilliant ass idea of inventing this garbage crm software that i must deal with even though it is not my area. i fucking hate the developer experience to do third-party implementations, not letting you upload changes to another environment for the sake of """"good practices"""", the fucking interface is slow as shit i could've already had intense hto sex, taken a shit, cook lunch and sleep 2 hours before it can load a single retarded lightning page.
why? WHY? WHYYY? WHY MUST THIS ASSWARE EXIST? WHY?

AS A FACT I'VE WRITTEN THIS RANT BEFORE THE DAMN PAGE EVEN LOADED A CONFIGURATION SECTION. GOD HELP US.

Why oh why do companies scrimp on hardware and tools for devs. It's a constant battle to even use my machine let alone make progress. I cost 1k a day a decent machine 2k maximum. I have spent the last two days fighting hardware issues.

Rant

Arg! Stack overflow why are you so full of argumentative dumb wits. I post serious question for a serious answer and what do I get? People who apparently know my situation better than me and have decided what I want to be done shouldn't be done. They don't even know what I am making. Either answer the question or move on!!!

Holy crap, just started working again on a personal project after a 1-month hiatus... Really struggling to get my head back where it was, I have (almost) no clue what I was doing or why.
Even the commit log and the comments and docs I've left around seem empty somehow.

Any good tips/tools for retracing steps? How do you start working on a codebase you've never touched before?

So, spent half a night setting up Travis CI. Just couldn't understand how CI will improve productivity...? But man when it worked... I wondered why I did not do it early... It even sends notification to my Slack channel...!!

3 weeks.

Am I just stupid? It took me 3 whole weeks to finally come to the realisation today that the Elasticsearch "guide" and Elasticsearch "reference" were different, with different version numbers. I've been ignoring Google search results that say Elasticsearch 2.x for WEEKS and wondering why I couldn't find a solution to simple problems.

Turns out, the current Elasticsearch "guide" is on version 2.x while Elasticsearch itself is on version 6.x.

They even have almost identical URLs that go ../guide/../reference and ../guide/../guide.

WHY? Why would you do that? Am I just stupid? Am I still getting it wrong? What the heck is up with Elasticsearch documentation?

FUCK why did nobody warn me to NOT upgrade to mac os Catalina??? Cant do half shit here not even install goddamn photoshop!!!

Help

How do i downgrade?

Why am I so stupid? I still don't understand programming after three years of studying on my own. I even went to a programming boot camp and got a c.s Degree. Just tell me that I'm not a fit for programming so I can quit. It seems to me like I don't know anything, I feel like I can't learn for shit. What am I missing, why can't I write code on my own? Why do I always need people held my hand? Why I don't understand anything?

Human-robot studies suck.

Like, why do I even have to compare dumbass humans to computers? Or why should I even make my robot human friendly? Why can't humans be robot friendly? Example: Robot says beep, you get out of the way. Why should the poor robot do so much planning because humans are too stupid to move out of the way? How is this fair?

Now my MacBook didn't boot up until I plugged in the charger. Even tho it was 90 percent charged. Now why did it do that 😢

I am reviewing a piece of code as I type this, and I just had to make a rant about it. In the code there's all these measures for syncing multiple threads, while the entire thing runs does not even use threading. But that's not the worst: when an InterruptedException is caught, is calls Platform.exit() WHICH CLOSES THE FUCKING PROGRAM. WHY WOULD YOU EVER DO THAT?

My friend started giving me advice without me even asking. She didn't listen why I chose to do something but kept on saying it's a wrong decision and why I will regret.
I asked to some people in my network and they agreed with me.
During the conversation with my friend, I felt very furious ans once tried to stop her calmly but she didn't listen, in the end I hung up by saying that I'll talk to her later and ended the conversation without getting into shitty conversation.

Algorithms teacher: I don't know how to work this thing. (computer) ... Students constantly have to go up front and help him do basic computer stuff. Even worse, he types with two fingers! Why education system must you suck so bad???

Why is it so hard to remember, that devs need an error message if they should help you. just saying "it does not work" is not helping.
I even wrote you a checklist. so f*ing use it! I'm not there to be called every time just to tell you to do something that's already on this list.
Every. F**ing. Time.

AAAH, fucking aws. Why the fuck do you make documentation if it doesnt even make sense. I struggeled for hours to let your cock sucking Cognito work and I'm still fucking stuck. Why is there no proper documentation or tutorial available for nodejs. This pisses me the fuck off. I hate this piece of shit.

Ah... I feel better now.

My image of dream career through different times of my life:
- frontend specs prodigy, css enlightenment, a member of w3c or a similar committee
- indie hacker and entrepreneur, leader of a startup community
- architecture prodigy, expert in scalability
- transsexual evangelist, popular article writer and a rockstar
- hardware engineer: Linux, C, chip and dale’s Gadget-like girlfriends, xkcd, latex, assembly, buying a radio station and a telescope
- scientist like NickyBones, papers, data, more data
- art expert

Though achieving one of this would take the entire life, I had a chance to grasp all of this. WHY does they feel so incompatible? Why do I have to choose?

Why do I feel so sad? Why do I feel like I haven’t achieved anything even though I objectively achieved what I dreamed of like five years ago?

Is it true that it’s in my nature to always seek an environment to feel like a junior in? Is feeling like a junior only pleasant to me because it reminds me of old times when I wasn’t actually this mentally ill and was still happy?

Why do I feel like that arduino and C shit is the equivalent of a red corvette?

I am seeing a trend on here, where people dismiss a technology based upon their experience that they cannot use it first try, even though they clearly lack experience or knowledge about the proper usage.

Also people seemingly tend to imply self explanatory at various topics ranging from relatable broadly known experiences to small nieche opinions.

How is that? Since when do people, especially programmers, think they do not need to explain their viewpoint, even though there is not a clear indicator as to why? Stating an opinion without any backup to the claim is just a void call in the wind. Of course i know that user X thinks that Y is his or her opinion. But what good does it do when i can't relate / understand or discuss this opinion?

Maybe it's just cause I fucking hate the elitism in the engineering college and every engineer I've met, but why do devs want to be called engineers? I'm a programmer, a developer, a coder, fucking anything rather than an engineer.
I associate that word with know-nothing "book-smart" fuckwads who think they're better than everyone, even someone doing the same thing without their useless degree.

That rage when you reinstall Ubuntu MATE on its partition, and it decides to nuke your Windows partition instead, with all the files you had on it too.

FFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK

HOW HARD CAN IT FUCKING BE TO INSTALL YOURSELF WHERE I FUCKING TELL YOU TO? WHY THE FUCK DO YOU EVEN ASK ME WHAT TO DO, IF YOU'RE GONNA HAVE A MIND OF YOUR OWN ANYWAY?
DIE IN A FIRE

i dont give a fuck why would you take a perfectly good domain name and shit out a fucking 80s useless website THAT DOES NOT EVEN DO ANYTHING

FUCK U

python devs are not devs

why do you need numpy and 30 other packages to change some lights on a keyboard

and then the kicker is that it doesn't even work, because it can't find a daemon I guess

this is so fragile
so ridiculous
every time, these math people

I came into work with a skip in my step and was actually feeling positive for once.

That all came crashing down when a guy I despise who has half the experience I do and even less seniority than I do got promoted above me before I did.

This guy is a talentless, boring, irritating hack who rides the success of others and does everything to glorify his ego. He shits on everything he doesn’t like and no one likes him. I guess that’s why he’s on the fast track to management.

I asked why I haven’t been promoted yet, despite being the technical guru on the team and having professional accomplishments that make his look silly in comparison. Their reason “well he comes in earlier than you”. Well guess what fuckers. I still get my work done and I stay later. Seriously, fuck this place.

This guy also worked with me on a past project. I use “worked” loosely because he did nothing but sit there and criticize everything while doing minimal code. When the company we were doing the work for folded he demanded to be paid his full portion, and I got jack shit despite having done all of the fucking work.

This guy...seriously...why do people who do fucking nothing get the glory? Why do I even fucking try?

why do I get stressed even though I don't care if I got laid off?

Something isn't right with me lol

Why the fuck is the master almost constantly broken? And not even "some feature I'm working on doesn't work"-broken but "can't build this shit"-broken. What the fuck is the workflow here that it's apparently acceptable? I wasn't able to do SHIT today because of it. Almost whole fucking day wasted.

If macbooks are so shitty, why do every great developer I see owns it ? Even @dfox owns it ..... Why o why !!

Why is school such a bullfuck, we've learned SQL basics and I've used SQL a little so I thought I won't have a problem. WELL FUCKING HELL WAS I WRONG. Joining 4 tables together with inner join WTF who the fuck uses that, why the fuck do I need to know this, WHY THE FUCK IN A TEST WHEN WE HAVEN'T LEARNED SUCH BULLSHIT. Well how about adding a foreign key to a table that doesnt need one. Well ok have fun with a key that does absolutely nothing and on top of all those convoluted tasks the texts are a mess, they give unnecessary information with grammar of a 9 year old and the pictures are not even readable. They are fucking hieroglyphs.
Fuck school.
Gonna do it by myself at the end anyway.
Fuck everything.

So I got everything done that I'm supposed to this month. Now usually I would try to get ahead of the rush. However, since now even upper management doesn't trust me to do my job I figure I will adopt the same development process as the rest of the group: do nothing for the first three weeks of the month and in the last week hastily make excuses for why nothing is done while doing just enough to justify my continued employment.

Rant rant = new Rant();
Rant.InternshipGotten = false;

Apparently I failed to provide enough reason why I would like to do my internship with them.
And I didnt have any affinity with programming according to them.

Im not a great talker assholes. But im good at programming.
How would you even know my affinity to programming? Because I dont have any personal projects running?

Why can’t Headphone Safety in iPhone just fucking respect the Type of my Bluetooth Device?!

Why the fuck does it HAVE to reduce the sound of my Bluetooth speaker even though the Device Type is set as fucking speaker!!

Do whatever the fuck with “accurate measurements” of audio levels but just don’t fucking treat my headphones and speaker as same when I explicitly set them differently!

For Andromeda’s sake!

So..there is 2 of us working on a Wordpress site, my job is front-end and make it look nice, the other persons job is to do some backend development(dont ask me what and why, I have no idea). Basically, I was waiting for the other person to finish his part so I can do front end development. I was expecting it to be just a theme, and then I fix it, add new stuff, etc etc, like usually..but the horror I saw, THE FUCKING "BACKEND" PERSON HAS ACTUALLY MADE A FUCKING THEME EVEN THOUGH IT IS MY FUCKING JOB. Now dont get me wrong, I wouldnt mind if I did almost zero work and got paid, but..THE FUCKING THEME WAS UGLY AS A TWO HEADED DICK SMOKING A FUCKING CIGARETTE. There was STRONG RED FUCKING EVERYWHERE, padding between posts was basically -20px. Well ok, I could have just started making a new theme, but there was already some stuff in this one we needed so I went it it and tried to make it look nice. And trust me, it is great now, great colors, fonts, shadows, button animations, everything, even looks great on mobile.

I started making some changes to the header, and I noticed that post title changes also..hmm wonder why..So I inspect element and what do I see, TAG OF THE FUCKING POST TITLE IS <HEADER>???? WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK, IF YOU TRIED TO DO SOME FRONT END, AND YOU SAY YOU KNOW SOME, WHY DO FUCKING FUCK WOULD YOU DO THAT???????? WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU DO MY JOB IF YOU SUCK AT IT??? DONT DO MY FUCKING JOB, I SUCK AT "BACKEND" AND I DONT FUCKING DEAL WITH DATABASES OR TRY TO MAKE THEM FOR YOU!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARHHHHHHHH FUCK

Why the hell are senior engineers coming to me me to debug and figure out issues? I don't even own this code..why should I care? Does your brain stop working as soon as you see the stack trace leave the code you have written? You are getting paid more than I do so go figure it out yourself. Why are you asshats even getting paid more than me? How did you even get there if you can't debug? Again why am i getting paid less than these asshats

I use spaces in vim/nano, I use tabs in my graphical IDE which translates it into spaces. I guess I'm on the spaces side, even though I don't really mind both. But seriously, why do people keep arguing about effing whitespaces...

Fuck, my watch later playlist is full on YouTube. Why the fuck do they limit that? I even pay for premium you fuckers.

Why is it that every python project I come across seems to not even want you to use it.
The deployment always sucks, you get some random ass errors because some parts are in python 2 instead of 3 I guess. If there's a C library involved it most definitely won't work. What the fuck is conda and why do I need it to install software?
Where is the documentation to build a release yourself if the public ones don't work?

Yay today my power extender broke!
(the thing that allows you to connect multiple devices to one sockiet, i dont remember the correct term)

That means i need to buy the new one! Because the old one is using rivots it means i cant repair it!

Stupic fucking lead free solder! Why do you even use this shit for connections? It will create those tin wiskers (small wires) that will short shit! This is the reason why my 3 old power extenders failed! And it is propably the reason why it failed as well!

So my manager mentioned off hand that we might look at updating our company website to look a little more modern...

Me being me jumped right into action and now that I've finished I remember why I haven't built my personal site.. Fuck static web pages man...

Don't know why I did this, not even happy with it but I think it'll do, CSS and HTML is messy but fuck it, it works...

I don't get it why my wife prefers to watch tv and netflix on a smartphone even when there is a big screen just in front of her (and as I've heard other wifes and girlfriends from my coworkers do that as well) 🤯

Our company fails the Joel test so badly, most strongly on the question 'Do you use the best tools money can buy?'

I've got the best laptop in the company, which is why I'm not allowed to complain (even though I do, see image), but some of my co-workers have dreadfully slow machines. I pity them so much, especially whenever I sit next to them to do some pair programming e.g.

I was wondering why my tutor needs a whole ass week to accept my MR.

Today he rejected one, so I got a chance to look at whatever he's doing.

He's checking line by line every single test I make and creates a variable for each dumb thing.

𝘦𝘹𝘱𝘦𝘤𝘵(𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨.𝘪𝘥).𝘵𝘰𝘚𝘵𝘳𝘪𝘤𝘵𝘌𝘲𝘶𝘢𝘭(𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘖𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨.𝘪𝘥)? No, this is bullshit.

𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘴𝘵 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘐𝘋 = 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨.𝘪𝘥
𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘴𝘵 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘖𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨.𝘪𝘥 = 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘖𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨.𝘪𝘥
𝘦𝘹𝘱𝘦𝘤𝘵(𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘐𝘋).𝘵𝘰𝘚𝘵𝘳𝘪𝘤𝘵𝘌𝘲𝘶𝘢𝘭(𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘖𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘐𝘋)

I don't even know why you would take a week to accept a merge request when all you're doing is creating variables for things you use only once. I'm not even mad, I'm not ranting, I just need to know why would you do such a thing

Why does it feel like nobody uses D?
I love it. It combines the best bits of C++, Java, Ruby and even some Python. It still is C ABI and C++ ABI (ish) compatible. It can do everything you need it to. It's not limited like Java. It feels cleaner than C. I LOVE IT. But I don't understand why there's not much going on about it. Is it because it's not 100% stable yet? I don't know. AAAARGH

So I have this PO who is able to understand technicalities. He is also able to use postman and has access to our code - don't ask why. He is trying stuff out with our apis, looking through code to understand parts of the software, etc.
So there are two sides of having a PO who is able to understand us devs on a certain level:
On the one hand you can explain why story x is taking longer than expected. You can even discuss in a proper way, which is nice. On the other hand is he a bit over the top: when we plan stories he already analysed everything, put code into the story and is telling us how to solve an issue or implement a story.
The sad part is that none of my colleagues seem to be bothered by the fact that he is doing my work.
And recently i even heard a sentence like: "I do not understand why this story should have 3Sp. Would be way lower when I do it". Well.. then do it yourself freaking idiot.
That goes so far that he tells other teams how to fix their code when there is an issue, because he has access to the code and can (unfortunately) read it..

Very unpleasant. :/ So: do you guys have/had the same issues? Am I overreacting?

Why everyone in management wants to know how i solve the bug if you do not even know what is Bootstrap. All that matter is fucking bug is resolved PERIOD

Spotify you little shithead how often do I have to reset the random mode for you to finally play stuff at random and not loop the same 20 songs? WTF? you literraly have like 1k of them in this list and you loop 20! HOW AND WHY <.< i even pay for you. Get it together.

Anyone else feeling murderous mood today for no reason? I'm not even at work yet...

Why do I get push notification for comment even when I got the mentioned notificaton of comment on same post and same comment ?

Why do my brain just stops working on technical interviews? I say the most random crap as an answer even though I know the fucking right one. Well this way I'm not getting a job anytime soon.

I understand that some websites had Flash bullshit because they wrote it 20 years ago and were just never fucked to re-write it.

But why, oh why, the FUCK did some companies decide to use Flash even after EOL was announced??

Examples: Xfinity (TV online streaming), Tidal (HD Music)... I always had to find some way to use their shit in 2019/2020 because Firefox did NOT want me to use Flash (understandable).

Were there an advantages that made these companies choose Flash, even faced with the fact that they would need to rewrite it in a few years AND users needed to go through hoops just to use their bullshit??

There must have been! Why else would they do it?

Fuck this new fad of forcing you to open a new tab when you click on a link. I already have 40+ tabs do you think I need another fucking tab just for your shitty homepage? If I wanted to do that I would just fucking use command (cntrl) click. Stop forcing me. And fuck google especially for making this a thing with google drive and switching between accounts. I mean why the fuck do I need a tab of just the idiotic sheets homescreen (the one that doesn't even include my sheets)? And if I want to switch accounts why do you open the new account in a new tab? I don't want to have my old account up I wanted to switch that's why it's called switch accounts

People in SO be like: "I don't understand why I'm not getting any answers. All I want to do is to twist this ORM to do something it doesn't support and I haven't even explained the nature of the models and nested relationships in the question"

Why do Apple have to hide the ”request desktop version” button behind the refresh button on the Ipad?

I get Idea. They problably thought it like you refresh as desktop site. But it took me ages to find out how to request desktop site!

Why cant it just be like chrome and have the settings and tools behind a menu where everything is.

And this is just one of many of Apple products flaws! Shame on you Apple!

If you wonder why i even use a ipad it’s because it’s a school ipad that is locked so we cant install apps.

I tell friends ways to hack "jailed" devices to run linux or other custom software. Because they have no clue about such.. I do it for them.. -.- WHY DO I EVEN TELL THEM???

Just found out that android looks for new SSIDs even when wifi is off...
Why does it do that?
Isn't that a waste of battery?
Well since I use the SSIDs of my company to save the time of entry and leaving I don't need to have wifi on now, but still... Why?

Oh fuck off. Why do you put a fucking iMac on the floor
... Face up I imagine to then have your gf step on it 😡
Why the fuck would you even allow that situation to happen

WFH is nice, esp when you can spare a separate room for work at your house/apartment. VoIP is also not a problem, it's even better is several ways than the real thing, as you can chat with multiple people at the same time without dragging them off their desks. Even better - screen sharing sessions.

However, there's one thing I don't understand.Why would anyone do video calls? I mean.. why...? What's the point? If I'm on metered network I'll be charged extra only because I'll have to stream out my ugly face to people who don't want to see it and stream in all the other ugly faces I don't want to see. My voice will become laggy, I'll miss out on some details, and all that because of some completely unnecessary overhead.

So why would you want me to enable my webcam? And why do you feel the need to show your face to everyone else? Why is this necessary...?

So i decided to hit the gym last night because why not? Now i haven't gone to a gym in a long time, so my stupid self thought why not lift some weights, and rather than starting with something light and gradually increasing the weight i went for the heaviest dumbbells, guess who's lying in the bed now, not even able to lift his hands to code? This fucking sucks i can't even lift a damn spoon without having cramps, i tried rubbing some massage gel but it doesn't seem to do any difference, do you guys have any advice? Thanks :)

I hate the US education system, its just designed to fuel capitalism. It keeps getting less funding so that actually passionate, intelligent people get kicked out and replaced with people who only want to be a teacher so they can have power over others.
Why do they block news websites? Why do they block github, so their own robotics team can't even access the essential building blocks for the robot? They make everything more complicated and for the reason that it might distract you. Maybe just make topics engaging and not boring asf, just cramming for the exams so the school gets more funding. Maybe prepare students for jobs, allow them to do projects, pursue classes that interest them, and have any sense of individualism.
Anyways, yeah, the school blocked github so I can't do my FBLA project, I can't access the code for programming our robot for competitions, I can't even download software required for half of these classes. I have a Linksys router, is there any way I could set it up to bypass the firewall?

Anyone else celebrating new years alone at home? My "friends" are having a party somewhere but didn't invite me cause why would they? 🤷‍♂️

Anyway, happy new year. Hope you're having a better time than I have.

Architect: Oh hey Zaphod65, let me know when you're in. Some strangeness in [system], ta

Me: Already here actually [Archtect], what's up?

Architect: oh hi well let me do a little more digging. it may be in frontend

Me: ...

Why? Why do I *care* if you haven't even made sure it's my fault yet?!

When the web conf guy bores you with very stupid and slow tech! 😐

I already have better tech for the same thing, why do you even bother to sell yourself!