Busted

Will the bug in my code please stand up?

I repeat

Will the bug in my code please stand up?

I think we have a problem here.

*music intensifies*

Interviewer: what leadership experience do you have

Me: 3 years experience in an administration position

Interviewer: Good, where?

Me: in a WhatsApp group

YouTube: tapping like 1px out of the like button, obviously you want to reply to the comment
Facebook: let's just remove the like button altogether, only exposing it to the comment section
DevRant: let's make it possible to double-tap anywhere on the post to upvote it

Only one of them did things the right way 🤨

So, you start with a PHP website.

Nah, no hating on PHP here, this is not about language design or performance or strict type systems...

This is about architecture.

No backend web framework, just "plain PHP".

Well, I can deal with that. As long as there is some consistency, I wouldn't even mind maintaining a PHP4 site with Y2K-era HTML4 and zero Javascript.

That sounds like fucking paradise to me right now. 😍

But no, of course it was updated to PHP7, using Laravel, and a main.js file was created. GREAT.... right? Yes. Sure. Totally cool. Gotta stay with the times. But there's still remnants of that ancient framework-less website underneath. So we enter an era of Laravel + Blade templates, with a little sprinkle of raw imported PHP files here and there.

Fine. Ancient PHP + Laravel + Blade + main.js + bootstrap.css. Whatever. I can still handle this. 🤨

But then the Frontend hipsters swoosh back their shawls, sip from their caramel lattes, and start whining: "We want React! We want SPA! No more BootstrapCSS, we're going to launch our own suite of SASS styles! IT'S BETTER".

OK, so we create REST endpoints, and the little monkeys who spend their time animating spinners to cover up all the XHR fuckups are satisfied. But they only care about the top most visited pages, so we ALSO need to keep our Blade templated HTML. We now have about 200 SPA/REST routes, and about 350 classic PHP/Blade pages.

So we enter the Era of Ancient PHP + Laravel + Blade + main.js + bootstrap.css + hipster.sass + REST + React + SPA 😑

Now the Backend grizzlies wake from their hibernation, growling: We have nearly 25 million lines of PHP! Monoliths are evil! Did you know Netflix uses microservices? If we break everything into tiny chunks of code, all our problems will be solved! Let's use DDD! Let's use messaging pipelines! Let's use caching! Let's use big data! Let's use search indexes!... Good right? Sure. Whatever.

OK, so we enter the Era of Ancient PHP + Laravel + Blade + main.js + bootstrap.css + hipster.sass + REST + React + SPA + Redis + RabbitMQ + Cassandra + Elastic 😫

Our monolith starts pooping out little microservices. Some polished pieces turn into pretty little gems... but the obese monolith keeps swelling as well, while simultaneously pooping out more and more little ugly turds at an ever faster rate.

Management rushes in: "Forget about frontend and microservices! We need a desktop app! We need mobile apps! I read in a magazine that the era of the web is over!"

OK, so we enter the Era of Ancient PHP + Laravel + Blade + main.js + bootstrap.css + hipster.sass + REST + GraphQL + React + SPA + Redis + RabbitMQ + Google pub/sub + Neo4J + Cassandra + Elastic + UWP + Android + iOS 😠

"Do you have a monolith or microservices" -- "Yes"

"Which database do you use" -- "Yes"

"Which API standard do you follow" -- "Yes"

"Do you use a CI/building service?" -- "Yes, 3"

"Which Laravel version do you use?" -- "Nine" -- "What, Laravel 9, that isn't even out yet?" -- "No, nine different versions, depends on the services"

"Besides PHP, do you use any Python, Ruby, NodeJS, C#, Golang, or Java?" -- "Not OR, AND. So that's a yes. And bash. Oh and Perl. Oh... and a bit of LUA I think?"

2% of pages are still served by raw, framework-less PHP.

I can totally relate to this!

Googles best javascript framework.

1st link: react is the best one.
Me: Ignore

2nd link: Angular is the best one.
Me: ignore.

.
.
.

8th link: Vue is the best one.
Me: I knew it.

When you decide to use a model for an engineering picture this is what happens. (Look at her hand)

One of my colleague took 3 week vacation leave. End of vacation time he requested for extending the leave. Company is not allowed him, so he send resignation email. After 1year we get to know in vacation time he already joined new company. I asked him why, he said "That three weeks is trials. If nothing workout he planned to going back to old company." 🤨

So, me and my girlfriend were on a discord call and she said to me: "You know how you can get lost in someone's eyes? Well, I get lost in your code".

I've never been more touched and conflicted in my life. 🥰🤨

!rant

I was in a hostel in my high school days.. I was studying commerce back then. Hostel days were the first time I ever used Wi-Fi. But it sucked big time. I'm barely got 5-10Kbps. It was mainly due to overcrowding and download accelerators.

So, I decided to do something about it. After doing some research, I discovered NetCut. And it did help me for my purposes to some extent. But it wasn't enough. I soon discovered that my floor shared the bandwidth with another floor in the hostel, and the only way I could get the 1Mbps was to go to that floor and use NetCut. That was riskier and I was lazy enough to convince myself look for a better solution rather than go to that floor every time I wanted to download something.

My hostel used Netgear's routers back then. I decided to find some way to get into those. I tried the default "admin" and "password", but my hostel's network admin knew better than that. I didn't give up. After searching all night (literally) about how to get into that router, I stumbled upon a blog that gave a brief info about "telnetenable" utility which could be used to access the router from command line. At that time, I knew nothing about telnet or command line. In the beginning I just couldn't get it to work. Then I figured I had to enable telnet from Windows settings. I did that and got a step further. I was now able to get into the router's shell by using default superuser login. But I didn’t know how to get the web access credentials from there. After googling some and a bit of trial and error, I got comfortable using cd, ls and cat commands. I hoped that some file in the router would have the web access credentials stored in cleartext. I spent the next hour just using cat to read every file. Luckily, I stumbled upon NVRAM which is used to store all config details of router. I went through all the output from cat (it was a lot of output) and discovered http_user and http_passwd. I tried that in the web interface and when it worked, my happiness knew no bounds. I literally ran across the floor screaming and shouting.

I knew nothing about hiding my tracks and soon my hostel’s admin found out I was tampering with the router's settings. But I was more than happy to share my discovery with him.

This experience planted a seed inside me and I went on to become the admin next year and eventually switch careers.

So that’s the story of how I met bash.
Thanks for reading!

Life suddenly became less complicated. Thanks devRant 😊

Swag of a Data Scientist 😎

If all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail!

This was something which my tech lead used to tell me when I was so obsessed with nosql databases a few years back. I would try to find problems to solve that has a use case for nosql databases or even try to convince me(I didn’t realise it back then) that I need to use nosql db for this new idea that I have, without really thinking deep enough whether the data in question is better represented using an sql schema or not.

Now, leading a team of young developers, I come across similar suggestions from few of my team members who just discovered this new and shiny tech and want to use it in production projects.

While I am not against new and shiny, it’s not a good practice to jump right in to it without exploring it deep enough or considering all the shortcomings. The most important question to ask is, whether some of the problems you are trying to solve can be solved with the current stack.

Modifying your stack requires more than just a week’s experience of playing around with the getting started guide and stack overflow replies. This is something which need to be carefully considered after taking inputs from the people who would be supporting it, that include operations, sysadmins and teams that are gonna interface with your stack indirectly.

I am not talking about delaying adoption by waiting for long list of approvals to get some thing that would bring immediate value, but a carefully orchestrated plan for why and how to migrate to a new stack.

Just because one of the tech giants made a move to a new stack and wrote about it in their engineering blog doesn’t mean that you need to make a switch in the same direction. Take a moment to analyse the possible reasons that motivated them to do it, ask yourself if your organisation is struggling with the exact same problems, observe how others facing the same issue are addressing it, and then make an informed decision.
Collect enough data to support your proposal.
Ask yourself again if you are the one holding the hammer.
If the answer is no, forge ahead!

That is the question 😉

Website Intro: Hello! I'm here to tell you how my life changed since I learned to build websites and became independent blah blah blah

Me: Cool. One sec.

*scrolls down*

Footer: Proudly powered by WordPress. Get the theme here!

Me: Bruh... No.

:/

A picture is better than a thousand words

- Wife logs onto uni website Saturday at 11pm to drop an elective, drop deadline is Monday
- Goes to course list and chooses course to drop
- "Course modification is available Monday-Saturday from 6am to 10pm"

😑 are you kidding me..

Like 😡😠 websites don't have business hours! Servers don't need nights or weekends off!! It's ridiculous to think that someone had to code this block for these hours, more effort than just leaving it always available.

😂
Courtesy - xkcd.com

— Hey, which IDE do you use?
— echo
🤨

When I take a break from ranting, this is where you can find me.

Watching and learning 🤨

Breakfast of champions

Dear diary,
Today is day 3 of Windows 11 for me, and after about an hour of gaming, everything got laggy. I thought it was an AV scanner taking its sweet time kind of lag, but then.... I couldn't switch back to the desktop, I couldn't launch the task manager, it was just a solid frozen brick, and then when I unpaused this game to go back into it.... it was frozen too.

So here I am , with a frozen machine, so I give up and attempt a hard reboot........ yep, your fucked too. Windows auto repair kicks in, and it freezes too.

So now I'm here, with a brick of a fucking machine, wondering wtf could have gone so wrong.

Finally, I've made it to the failed boot screen,

> bootrec /fixboot
permission denied.

🤔 dafuq you smoking?

Fine

> sfc /scannow
Permission denied

Ok.... I don't think I want to know how this works.

> chkdsk /f /r /x C:
Yay something fucking runs
.
.
.
no issues 🤨

Fuck it, reboot.

Oh, now you want to fucking boot you piece of shit.
Now to understand how the fuck you can get a permission denied when your running CMD before boot 😐

Yo.

His palms are sweaty
Knees weak arms are heavy
Bugs littering his code already
Cold spaghetti 🍝

He’s nervous but on the surface he looks calm and ready to git push

(Hit a blank with thinking of code-related lyrics, anyone got ideas?)

Once I used to wonder how youtube made money.
Now every time I watch a youtube video I am reminded how.

Switched from typing 10 docker commands to docker compose yesterday. It was pure magic.

Client: When will you give me an update on this feature

Me: In two weeks

Client: okay that’s fine

Client proceeds to call me everyday asking me for an update🤨🤨

Fuck you sir.

I have my best moments but the first time I felt badass about computers was when I was at kindergarten.

There was one computer with one cool game with skateboard. I wanted to play but the other kids didn’t let me.

I thought that if it look like I fix the computer they will let me. I took me month or little more but I made shutdown bat(I didn’t really understood fully) and I added it to the game shortcut from usb.

One of the other kids started the game and the computer turned itself off. Hi tried a few times and then I offered to fix it, I created new shortcut replacing the “hacked” one and the game ran.

From that moment the computer and the game were always free for me.

When you spend a weekend building your custom rig, but the inner fanboy conscience takes over 😜

Idea guy: Hey bro, I have an idea of an app that can teleport matter to any random place outside our milky way galaxy and brings them back at will

Me: okay??

Idea guy: This is d future of tourism in d world

Me: okay??

Idea guy: so this is whats going to happen, you sign an NDA, you build d app, and then i will give you an equity of 10% in it and run the business. This can be big. I will make you rich

Me: Geet the fuuuucckkkm oouttt or rather i build d app without a return button and send him to a black hole

**Just tired of this kind of conversations**

What bug?

If I changed girlfriends as often as I changed JavaScript libraries, I'd still be looking for a girlfriend.

Cuz I try and avoid using JavaScript.

I have been gone a while. Sorry. Workplace no longer allows phones on the lab and I work exclusively in the lab. Anyway here is a thing that pissed me off:

Systems Engineer (SE) 1 : 😐 So we have this file from the customer.
Me: 😑 Neat.
SE1: 😐 It passes on our system.
Me: 😑 *see prior*
Inner Me (IM): 🙄 is it taught in systems engineer school to talk one sentence at a time? It sounds exhausting.
SE1: but when we test it on your system, it fails. And we share the same algorithms.
Me: 😮 neat.
IM: 😮neat, 😥 wait what the fuck?
Me: 😎 I will totally look into that . . .
IM: 😨 . . . Thing that is absolutely not supposed to happen.

*Le me tracking down the thing and fixing it. Total work time 30 hours*

Me: 😃 So I found the problem and fixed it. All that needs to happen is for review board to approve the issue ticket.
SE1: 😀 cool. What was the problem?
Me: 😌 simple. See, if the user kicked off a rerun of the algorithm, we took your inputs, processed them, and put them in the algorithm. However, we erroneously subtracted 1 twice, where you only subtract 1 once.
SE1: 🙂 makes sense to me, since an erroneous minus 1 only effects 0.0001% of cases.

*le into review board*

Me: 😐 . . . so in conclusion this only happens in 0.0001% of cases. It has never affected a field test and if this user had followed the user training this would never have been revealed.
SE2: 🤨 So you're saying this has been in the software for how long?
Me: 😐 6 years. Literally the lifespan of this product.
SE2: 🤨 How do you know it's not fielded?
Me: 😐 It is fielded.
SE2: 🤨 how do you know that this problem hasn't been seen in the field?
Me: 😐 it hasn't been seen in 6 years?
IM: 😡 see literally all of the goddamn words I have said this entire fucking meeting!!!
SE2: 😐 I would like to see an analysis of this to see if it is getting sent to the final files.
Me: 🙄 it is if they rerun the algorithm from our product. It's a total rerun, output included. It's just never been a problem til this one super edge case that should have been thrown out anyway.
SE2: 🤨 I would still like to have SE3 run an analysis.
Me: 🙄 k.
IM: 😡 FUUUUUUUUUCK YOOOOOU

*SE3 run analysis*

SE3: 😐 getting the same results that Me is seeing.
Me: 😒 see? I do my due diligence.
SE2: 😐 Can you run that analysis on this file again that is somehow different, plus these 5 unrelated files?
SE3: 😎 sure. What's your program's account so I can bill it?
IM: 😍 did you ever knooooow that your my heeeerooooooo.

*SE3 runs analysis*

SE3: 😐 only the case that was broken is breaking.
SE2: 😐 Good.
IM: 🤬🤬🤬🤐 . . . 🤯WHY!?!?
Me: 😠 Why?
SE2: 😑 Because it confirms my thoughts. Me, I am inviting you to this algorithm meeting we have.
Me/IM: 😑/😡 what . . . the fuck?

*in algorithm meeting*

Me: 😑 *recaps all of the above* we subtract 1 one too many times from a number that spans from 10000 to -10000.
Software people/my boss/SE1/SE3: 🤔 makes sense.
SE2:🤨 I have slides that have an analysis of what Me just said. They will only take an hour to get through.
Me: 😑 that's cool but you need to give me your program's account number, because this has been fixed in our baseline for a week and at this point you're the only program that still cares. Actually I need the account to charge for the last couple times you interrupted me for some bullshit.

*we are let go.*

And this is how I spent 40+ useless hours against a program that is currently overrunning for no reason 🤣🤣🤣

Moral: never involve math guys in arithmetic situations. And if you ever feel like you're wasting your time, at least waste someone else's money.

Hmmm🤨🧐

I got a design from designer on making a website. I made it responsive all the way to screens as wide as 2000px.

Designer: Why didn’t you follow my design. The site is so wide now on my screen. Can you follow my design?

Me: So limit the site to a max width of 700px as per you design.

Designer: yes please

Me: ok.

[ A week later]

Designer: Just checked out the site on a wide screen. It looks so empty. Can we do something to make the content fit to the window so it looks less empty on a wide screen?

Me: 🤨🖕🏽

My friend brought me a simple python problem. He expected the output to be 2,2,3... instead of 2,3... I didn't know python, but with a quick tweak to differentiate the two prints, I understood that the range() function is exclusive.

Before coming to me, he asked his senior dev & that guy just said - "Oh, your editor has a problem". 😐

Drunk Dev 1: These wifi signals are really take toll of brain tissues and may probably cause brain cancer. 🙁

Drunk Dev 2: Let’s power off our wifi router. We don’t need wifi while drinking. 😏

Drunk Dev 1: Good, but what about other wifi signals in proximity. Your neighbours ?? 🤨

Drunk Dev 2: Oh poor, they wont get into our brains as our brains don’t have password for their wifi thus, we can’t connect to their access point 😎

Drunk Dev 1: 😳

Is it just me or is stack overflow full of dicks?

🤨🤤🤤
Always

Not sure ... 😌

So frustrating when this happens.

Root gets ignored.

I've been working on this monster ticket for a week and a half now (five days plus other tickets). It involves removing all foreign keys from mass assignment (create, update, save, ...), which breaks 1780 specs.

For those of you who don't know, this is part of how rails works. If you create a Page object, you specify the book_id of its parent Book so they're linked. (If you don't, they're orphans.) Example: `Page.create(text: params[:text], book_id: params[:book_id], ...)` or more simply: `Page.create(params)`

Obviously removing the ability to do this is problematic. The "solution" is to create the object without the book_id, save it, then set the book_id and save it again. Two roundtrips. bad.

I came up with a solution early last week that, while it doesn't resolve the security warnings, it does fix the actual security issue: whitelisting what params users are allowed to send, and validating them. (StrongParams + validation). I had a 1:1 with my boss today about this ticket, and I told him about that solution. He sort of hand-waved it away and said it wouldn't work because <lots of unrelated things>. huh.

He worked through a failed spec to see what the ticket was about, and eventually (20 minutes later) ran into the same issues Idid, and said "there's no way around this" (meaning what security wants won't actually help).

I remembered that Ruby has a `taint` state tracking, and realized I could use that to write a super elegant drop-in solution: some Rack middleware or a StrongParams monkeypatch to mark all foreign keys from user-input as tainted (so devs can validate and un-taint them), and also monkeypatch ACtiveRecord's create/save/update/etc. to raise an exception when seeing tainted data. I brought this up, and he searched for it. we discovered someone had already build this (not surprising), but also that Ruby2.7 deprecates the `taint` mechanism literally "because nobody uses it." joy. Boss also somehow thought I came up with it because I saw the other person's implementation, despite us searching for it because I brought it up? 🤨

Foregoing that, we looked up more possibilities, and he saw the whitelist+validation pattern quite a few more times, which he quickly dimissed as bad, and eventually decided that we "need to noodle on it for awhile" and come up with something else.

Shortly (seriously 3-5 minutes) after the call, he said that the StrongParams (whitelist) plus validation makes the most sense and is the approach we should use.

ffs.
I came up with that last week and he said no.
I brought it up multiple times during our call and he said it was bad or simply talked over me. He saw lots of examples in the wild and said it was bad. I came up with a better, more elegant solution, and he credited someone else. then he decided after the call that the StrongParams idea he came up with (?!) was better.

jfc i'm getting pissy again.

Ok yeahhh it’s not me.

Just got told I didn’t pass an interview that lasted 15 minutes with him talking about the company and no questions for me.

My interviewers lately have just been unfortunate

Why I Love To Code ???

I Hate Programming 🤨
I Hate Programming 😧
I Hate Programming 😰
.
.
.
Oh Fuck ! it worked..

I Love Programming

If you put a million monkeys on a million keyboards, one of them will eventually write a Java program.

Beginning of a Hackaton and the CTO calls everyone up and tries to instigate everyone with this gem:

"Challenge yourself and what we have. For example, instead of AWS use Swagger."

🤨
Nobody says anything but has the same WTF expression ... How do these person become tech lead?

I thought meditation was more like putting myself in “airplane mode”. But in reality it felt more like a DDoS attack!

I find the lack of no pants option in the avatar builder disappointing.

"First remove the break points, and then commit the code".

He described it as if the breakpoints could stop time!! 😂

Most of my code solutions came to me while I'm in the shower
🚽🚽

DEV RANT !!!

I’m on a trip through Scandinavia with a travel group. Today we are staying at a Hotel in Hammerfest. I just got into my hotel room and my lamp looked like that. So I made a photo and went to the reception:
Me (showing photo): Is this supposed to look like that?
staff: Uhmm maybe!?
Me: 🤨
Staff: Do you belong to the travel group?
Me: Yes.
Staff: Then it’s supposed to look like that.

WTF!!!?

Ayy. Finally hit the 1000++ point. Now I can get the shirt that I literally have 5 of irl for my avatar

Scrum Master: Let's estimate the task. Chose your estimations individually, then we will reveal at the same time and discuss
- variety of votes, ranging from 1 to 8
Product Owner: I don't agree, this should be a 1 or 2.
Dev Team Lead: Agreed, this is why I chose 2. Let's vote again.
- All votes now are 1s or 2s

Good fucking job 🤨

No one is safe when I hit a wall... Not even my best friends.

CEO: if we would not give new features, clients would be bored and would not pay for tool.
me: but don't you think we should fix buggy old code, that would reduce effort and time that we daily invest in prod bugs?

CEO: I'm not saying we should not fix them but we should maintain the balance which is 80-20. 80% of our work would include adding new features.
😑
Next day in morning receives email:
There is a production issue, fix it asap.

😬

I randomly found this oddly familiar image today on the internet. 🤔🤨 @trogus

Team: Qt doesn’t let us build the UX we have in mind. Web is the future.

Me: what do you guys recommend ?

Team: Electron! We vote for Electron!

Me: Alright, who know JavaScript here?

Team: ...

I saw a post about headphones that reminded me.

Last week I was trying to find out why my code wasn't working. At about an hr in my wife asks me "honey, why do you have headphones on but they aren't plugged into anything?"

I looked at her partially spaced and thought to myself "I have headphones on?!?!"

Lol I tend to do this a lot.

If it does not overflow!

Perfect security !

Not sure if happy or sad

Git Push...

I've noticed something odd lately.. every time I mention mains electricity in certain EE forums, people tend to go "you are a madman for wanting to use that 🤨".

To which I think in my head, sure it's a dangerous thing, after all the angry pixies that dance back and forth are kind of angry (120V) or actually insane (230V) depending on where you live.. but to mindlessly tell people to not use it at all, as an electronics engineer.. what's up with that?

I mean, it's a matter of respecting its power, right. So whenever I work with it, thick gloves, keeping my exposed lines as tiny as possible, keeping them around for as short as possible, properly insulating anything permanent, and even asking my landlord to install a defibrillator for when things still go horribly wrong (to which she agreed because it'd be useful to the other residents as well, yay 😁) are kinda mandatory.

And that's for the same reason essentially that precautions are taken when climbing a mountain by having climbing shoes, connecting yourself to pikes jammed into the mountain over a strong metal wire in case things go wrong, etc etc. And for the same reason that you don't climb a ladder in high heels and so on. Obvious, right.

Point is, inexperienced people indeed shouldn't be working with mains AC at all and that's the reason that I've avoided it in the first year or 2 of learning about electronics. But mindlessly telling people in EE forums that they're a redneck for working with the imminently lethal AC.. what's up with that?

Maybe I should just go find another electronics forum like the EEVblog forums over some random (kinda dead) electronics chat on Telegram though ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I don't know why quiting vim is such a challenge for new users.
While Quit starts with q , so q is very logical for quiting 😬

🤨🤨??

Tester commenting in a Jira ticket:
"Not testable"

Me thinking:
"Why? 🤨 Has he been attacked by a tiger or something?"

. / __
__ |_/ __
\ [__] /
----/ | \----
/\ _|_ /\
de | | ing

Now what, IntelliJ...? 🤨
(moral of the story: Don't install new things when you want to go to bed!)

I'm almost dead ! 😬
The fucking code is not RUNNING !

So my office manager decided to ban kitchen utensils in the office. Part of the reason was that there was too much stealing. Apparently too many mugs, knives, plates & spoons have gone missing for it to be just through loss.

I tried to reason with this office manager. I asked if we really want to create a culture of mistrust where we ban basic utilities like we’re children.

I appealed to the business logic do we really want freelancers going out to grab a coffee 10 minutes a day over a period of a year.

I tried to appeal to the digital nature of the office can we “source the solution from the office”

The other office have to bring in their own utensils but the other office has a canteen.

Essentially I feel like this was a power issue a decision was made I’m not allowed to question it.

Apparently my “behaviour” has been flagged with the CTO. 🤣🤨

I have to stir my tea with a knife unless I put stuff in my desk.

As a solution I decided to reach out to several green companies that provide disposable cutlery and kitchen where they agreed to send a sample which I put in the kitchen. I have a feeling this will be taken as hostile move in of what is: a solution.

Seriously W T actual F.

Finally got the amazon fire 7 !
Reading books from my phone was quite bothering.

Bug or Human ???

My uncle: „You are good with computers, right? My Word is broken, repair that.“

Yeah sure, let me just call my bros at Microsoft and repair your Word with them 🤨

🍎🍏🍎

Just arrived! Time to ingest some common sense 🤓

When notifications decide to play hide and seek on iOS 11 beta!

Interested in the "If 42 is the answer? What is the question?" diversity. 🤔

*me going to wikipedia*
searching for 42
buncha math stuff whatever
matrix sum... interesting 🤨
(is 42 maybe related to dimensions?)
*sees a lot of programs relations where 42 is considered magical in themselves*

"The ASCII code 42 is for the asterisk symbol, being a wildcard for everything."

*literally speechless* 😮

Thought this was funny

*Adds JavaScript to skills*

*Adds Java to skills*

Error: Skill already selected

Wth

Bad Code Is Like Boomerang....
Eventually It Will Comeback At You... 🤨

Finally my fidget cube arrived

It's when you lack electricity that you really start to question your life style

Metasploitable is so stupidly vulnerable!
Can i have a more challenging target?

Can i train myself to think like a computer?
Means I wont to the best thing i can do in each second without even thinking ! Just like what a computer does

So I finished my first semester in NYU as a CD master. During the first semester I took a class called heuristic problem solving. Every week a competitive game will be introduced to us, and will be played in two weeks. And trust me, the games aren't easy. I teamed up with another guy who I had no idea was and named our team as we don't know. At the end of the semester we won seven out of nine games, and by won I meant that we beat the whole class in the match. And my teammate became a really good friend.

By telling this story, I want to make a point. I love problem solving, and not problems in a algorithm book where you apply an algorithm and do some trick to solve it, but real world problem where you hope for the best and anticipate, predict your opponent's move. However, American's school system doesn't teach that.

When I applied to graduate school, no school wanted me because I have an average GPA of 3.6, and no outstanding achievements. I can solve problems in my dream becaus I have an active mind, I can propose solution to a project one month before my teammates realized they essentially were doing what I told them the solution should be. But so what, I can't write those on my application.

One of the professor told me that my professor shared the story of my team during a faculty dinner, and they were very impressed by our achievement. So I guess I'm not dumb. But after all, companies and schools will look at your transcript and decide who you are.

I love myself for having random thoughts all the time that can lead to innovative problem solving. But I also hate myself for not able to study like the good kids are.

<rant>
Freelance employers should learn that a "full stack" developer does not equal "fully proficient and experienced in everything code and comp. related". ESPECIALLY if the job pays less than 6£ an hour.
</rant>

Vim forever

When you resign, then they realise a potential developer. Before that you were just an Hooman resource.

😎 V R programmer !

"Intense coding. A day passes. Wait, how the fuck did my code work? It doesn't make any sense!"

It happens so, so often, God why 😐

Suggesting haha.length

The important thing in life 🤨

TAB TAB TAB

Not gonna return home !
I've got all I need ! (The coffee maker is behind)

had wished for a raspberry pi as christmas present, ideally with a pi cam on top.
now i've got a pi cam😏 ... and no raspberry pi😐🤨😅
that was unexpected

Interviewer: “I agree, companies should stop calling people devops engineers, devops is a culture”

Me: “I’m glad you see it that way too”

*weeks later*

Interviewer, now new boss: “and this is our DevOps Engineer, Jeff”

Me: 🤨

Gotta love it when you turn down a recruiter and they ask you if you know any friends who might be interested.

"Potentially, what's my commission if I do your job for you?!"

🤨

STICKER TIME!

The personal trainers in the fitness that I go to are graduated programmers(.net, javascript, sql...).
During rest I can talk about something I love to people who understand me, guess I am lucky. 🍀

so the bank has decided to charge me for sending me the sms notification for the sms- notification-charges

makes sense 🤨 ?

So I have the new Mac book pro for 8 months now, always thought that the butterfly keyboard issue will never happen to me.

Until three days ago I noticed my space key is kinda sticky.
I have an external monitor so I don’t recall any time I spill water or food directly on the keyboard.

So I made an appointment for a walk in.

BUT this morning, I was like: man, fuck this shit and smashed the space key.

Now it’s fixed.

Good

Yeah I get what the intention was but like... why? I feel there are way better ways to do this

(Ps. I've become the pic post guy)

Writing an if condition instead of properly handling it.

I applied for a frontend dev position.
The HR sent me a mail with details for MERN developer position (Full-stack) and asked me do an assignment with frontend and backend 🤔
I requested to clarify if I'm supposed to do only frontend as that's the position I applied for.
No response on that. They got back and requested me to schedule an interview.
I have worked with NodeJS before but I primarily work on the frontend, still I went along with it anyway.
I aced the first two rounds, but for the final round they emphasized on the backend and then it went downhill. At the end they said I was really good on the frontend but for that position they needed someone particularly with expertise on the backend. 🤷‍♂️
Well, I didn't intend to work Full-stack anyway.
They wanted me do everything and also lead the team and mentor juniors and take ownership of multiple projects.
I mean, why would I want to work the job of two people (or more) and not get paid that much 🤨

OKAY

WHO THE FUCK DESIGNED THIS STUPID ANDROID EMULATOR.

ALL I WANT TO DO IS LISTEN TO MY MUSIC WHILE PROGRAMMING

BUT NOOOOOOO

WHENEVER THE FUCKING EMULATOR IS OPEN THE QUALITY OF THE MUSIC IN MY BLUETOOTH HEADPHONES GOES TO aBsOluTe SHIT.

CMON GUYS. GET YOUR HEADPHONES OUT OF YOUR ASS AND TEST YOUR FUCKING SOFTWARE

I was given a take-home assignment during the interview process of a startup.
They gave me a vague 24 hours to complete it and submit it the day after.
The instructions read like - most candidates don't complete the assignment, so if you finish 70%-80%, that's good enough.
I read the instructions; I was supposed to follow the "mock design" they sent me. It looked a tad bit ridiculous. But still, I thought I'd be able to finish most of it.

I worked on it for around 10-12hrs total (including procrastination because it was such a slog). I finished most of the "features" they mentioned, so about 70%-80% done.
I submitted it the next day. They got back to me saying they're not moving forward because they expected more features considering 24 hours.
🤨
They didn't expect me to spend 24hrs on it, did they?
I learned a few things, so I guess it wasn't a complete waste of time.

I was wondering all day:
Can machine learning really teach a machine how to think?
I mean in a real unexpected situation that even a human may be confused , how a trained bot would react?

The new Emoji update sucks 😑

Not that they didn't suck before..
Now they just suck more

I like the Colbert emoji though 🤨

Guys! Happy PROGRAMMER'S day!!!

I was trying to understand the source code of aircrack-ng which is written in C today.
Suddenly I saw sth strange !
WTF !! what is #ifdef ??? I've never seen that before !
So I told myself : hey ! You have to download a complete C programming course!
so I did , but when I skimmed through the titles , again:
WTF ! I know all of them! So why the fuck I could not fully understand the code ? Where can I find anything I missed ?

So... I'm asking U :)

Okay,so just trying my first rant.
Anyone heard about Internet of Things?
Mind getting in touch and sharing your views?😬

Me after debugging for 2 hours and fixing a semicolon error.

I am good to the programs I use.
I give the all the needed ram.
Except Android Studio, I don’t have a fucking server.

Thought this was a good bug fix message on the app store

Best PC game ever played?

From this day onwards I'm following this technique

In the worls of coding what matters is the algo and it's optimization

Any recommandation for proving my skills?
👑
Thank a LOT. 😊

Daily Standup with HR... what the f**k is going on..? 🤨

Quick vent...

I just hate how other people in my organization keep blaming the systems instead of taking a second to verify if the data that they are feeding the system is accurate!!

It's like adding "4+5" in a ti83 and blaming the TI engineers because the result is not the "4" they wanted! 🤨

Have u ever thought 24h is not enough?
I wish i 48h or even more but wishing won't change anything :(

Who else hates tutorials.
They are made with so much text and outdated code that it’s better to write the thing needed by yourself and stack overflow.🤔

After years of misusing and abusing my eyes (e.g., pulling an unhealthy amount of all-nighters and spending almost every waking hour in front of a screen of some sort), I believe I am in need of glasses. Although I should go to an optometrist first.

I like this package 😃

!rant
Found out about JetBrains student program and asp.net unix support and now I am the happiest person on earth!😊🙂😋

(!= rant && == story)

Sooo it's 1:35AM.
Just had a call with boss to show that everything is done.
Bossy ses gud night.

Skype call ends, who the fuck is Alice starts playing in my headphones, the night is dark and I'm siting near my desk lamp, Geez lonelynes level is over 9000

In my head: wait, what now?🤨

...cry.

I tried a tool for analysing mobile applications, since then I keep receiving emails from them.. and this is what I received this morning. the thing is getting serious 🤨

My code be like:

Call the method cronk...

WROOOONG MEEETTTTTTTHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOODDDDDDDDDDD!!!

*climbs out of alligator pit*

Why do we even have that method

When you run the W11 update checker, and it doesn't tell you to buy a new laptop 🤨

Shit, now I need to work out how to stop it updating.

mind you, I always wanted to watch TikTok from my taskbar, win-win right?

If only.

Tbh. When I read about ruby and how it was meant to be as close to English as possible a little part of me was hoping for this

True Shit...!!

Watched an action hack movie
Then designed a scenario to sniff around a bank and get the encrypted key and finally extract the key and omg!
I've broke into the bank !!!
But seriously, is it worth trying?
I'm not going to do any thing stupid like even taking a dollar , but is it just the way I thought it is?
Will anything unexpected happen?

7 hour dev call 🤨

Who codes while laying in bed? 🤨 Just saw a random coding video and the guy was just laying in bed with facecam.
I'm tempted to get a laptop just to try it and achieve my final form.

At the bottom of the page:"Page 1 of 2".
Ok, next page:"Page 2 of 3" 🤨

Thanks devRant...

Well what an adventure with this SSD...😑
my sis' laptop is from 2013-ish(?) and has/had a slow HDD in it. I wanted to speed it up, before her study, so I bought a new internal SSD (no new laptop wanted).
Created a bootable USB, exchanged the hard drives and install the OS on it. Seems easy enough...
The laptop restarts to finish its process ... laptop shuts down immediately, no warning whatsoever. 😳🤨
Start it up, loading screen, fan gets louder and louder ... instant shut down.😳🤨🤨.
Redo process, this time landing on blue-screen, error code critical process died? ... instant shut down again.🤔
Restart from old HDD, normal.😐
Retry with boot USB and reinstall SSD. Setup process copying files, meanwhile instant shut down.😳 Please don't tell me!😩 Since every part of the laptop was working, except the new inserted SSD, I thought "FUCK not a broken SSD!😣"
I had my own PC with internal SSD slot, so tried to find out, whether it would be broken...
All starting up fine??🤨🤨
Ok then? Finish the setup for the third time now ... everything up and running.😐🤷
Normal shut down, unplug, plug back onto laptop, it works. HOW?? WHY?? 😕
Why the fuck are you suddenly working? 😐🤷🤷🤷
That's some magic...

Okay. Is there really anyone who wouldn't get this

Guess who has 2 thumbs, half a brain and lost his job today...

Android flow I’ve found(fixed in android 8, working on 7.1.1):
To make app uninstallable by the normal user make the app device administrator, add “android.permission.SYSTEM_ALERT_WINDOW” to the manifest and make sure it’s not granted by the user.
Now when you try to uninstall the app, it tells you to disable it from device administrators but the device administrator disable dialog is System Window handled by the app itself and if the app has this permission but not granted, settings will crash with SecurityException leaving the app untouched.

What the hell is wrong with using GitHub, or Git??? A client told me he’s concerned because it’s been, in his words, “compromised” and the admins can “see our code for trouble shooting purposes” and he doesn’t feel comfortable with that…🤨 like…no one wants this code my dude, like the fuck!?! We’re already using a skeleton project from someone else’s git, yet you dnt want this project on there??? Ooooor, is it because you dnt know how to use it??? Nor do you want to take the time to learn it??? 🤨 fuck boy. 😡😡😡😡😡😡🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬

Devrant needs to add a censorship that changes "fuck" to "fsck" because technology

Fml I need a job

FUCKING HELL!

I just shutdown my computer after deciding to leave the unfinished feature that I started a couple hours ago for tomorrow.

Not 5 fucking minuets later I had found a solution in my head but now don’t want to spend the time to turn my computer on to fix it. Ugh

Just fixed some bugs...
then the boss just asked for a few more features ...
Fixing new bugs now!

Have U seen this cartoon ?
I mean Dexter's laboratory
Isn't it just cool? 😉😂

`git push origin master --force`

Who needs windows update?

Working at least 12 hr a day is in my daily routine.
Each minute must have an exact purpose and should not be wasted
(That is just a theory and does not mean that I actually manage to do it everyday)

Diving into kali packages source codes ;
Cooler than i expected 👌

In 2020, I was working for a company that started selling at-home covid tests online. Marketing wanted us to add a survey for this product. They said this was required by the government…but we didn’t have to retain any of the answers…🤨.

I like my work colleague, great to talk to, bless his heart, however he has this mysterious power to make whatever he writes sound super passive aggressive or aloof. For instance:

Me: this request , to clarify you want me to do this, as per this document
Him: is that what you presume?
Me: 🤨

Last job search was in mid 2020. I thought I had a pretty good offer: getting 40% more in gross salary. But then I asked some pretty standard/clarifying questions about benefits and all the red flags started coming out 🚩. They really used the pandemic to sell ppl short. TLDR I turned down the offer.

PTO was the dealbreaker. Their PTO was 16 days: 6 holidays plus 10 personal days. Even though any paid time off is PTO, I thought it was pretty gross to count holidays in the PTO bank like that. My friends agreed with me.

Yes, this is a US company.

Then shit hit the fan when I asked about sick days.

Me: What’s the policy on sick time?

Talent/HR: We have a flex time policy, so you don’t have to take time off for a one hour doctor’s appointment.

🤨🚩
I didn’t ask about flex time.

Me: The PTO is really low.

Talent: Well, you could use your sick days for vacation.

🤨🚩🚩

Me: I just asked you about sick time and you didn’t mention sick days. What are these sick days?

Talent: Oh, well technically the personal days are 5 sick days and 5 personal days… [I swear this is what I heard over the phone.]

🤨🚩🚩🚩

Me: 😤 This isn’t going to work.

Talent: I can see about getting you more PTO.

Talent comes back with 5 additional personal days. And it wouldn’t be included in my offer letter it would only be a note in my file. 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

The gross thing was this startup was in the healthcare space: it’s a prescription meds delivery service/pharmacy. I know ppl say startups are the “throw money at you and go cheap on benefits” type. But how can you be in a healthcare space and not give ppl decent PTO? And during the pandemic and pre-vaccine existence? They were trying to con me. It was bizarre because it’s not my first job search. I was still employed so I wanted a new job but I wasn’t desperate.

I couldn’t see how anyone would accept that abysmal PTO offer. Maybe if they were really desperate or naive. I suspected this company had a big PTO disparity because I’m positive most employees would have negotiated for more time.

It was hard to turn down the money because I was afraid of not finding a job. Luckily, I did get an offer with really great benefits from a different company later on.

When customers pretend to really care about security but then share server folders to "everyone" 🤨

Yay I just got hit by the spam ban hammer, either that or these spammers are upvoting posts now 🤨

mfw
> 1 year into project in React.js with a 10+ members in team
> PM panics over last Apache statement
> PM: "fuck, rewrite it in Angular 4 : /"

Posted a question on Stack Overflow today for the first time in as long time... Have lost faith, what shit some suggestions people have.

- Clear the cache, check again...🤨
- Your code is wrong, I tested it my way, you need to change.😒

Read the fucking post properly and gauge some level of expertise... I clearly wrote that it WAS working, the bull shit your detailing is completely irrelevant.

Fucking idiots...

Me: I just know there's gotta be a better way to do this.
PM: No I think it's just a problem of inexperience. You and $coworker just haven't spent enough time in WordPress.
Me: no you're right. I'm just trying to get a better handle on the code and make things as less error prone as possible.
PM: well we really don't have very many errors.
Me: wait, what about the (list off other issues)?
PM: those all have been resolved already.
Me: Oh. Ok. I guess it's just me.
PM: See, I make changes and nothing breaks. You guys just need to continue working on this.
Me: ... 🤨
Me: (weird flex but ok) hey! Look at this guy over here!
PM: (Laughs)

What if programming languages are only available commercially?

I 'm working with python 3:
Was about to make my app print a text letter by letter (same as somebody's typing the text) and read it at the same time.
I wrote a method for typing and works fine but cannot find a solution for the tts and make them run at the same time.
Can U halp me please ?

Thanks in advance 😊

#Apple #FaceID
Yet another step towards the God's eye in Fast & Furious. Since it requires a 360 scan of a face, CIA just requires a photo to find anyone in the planet who's using an iPhone X [Stands for Expensive]. There's a reason why Apple ditched the fingerprint sensor.
RIP #Privacy 😶

I was wondering !
As a computer geek I would like to know everything from mathematics to programming , robotics and machine learning but as I go , new technologies appear and it's
just like an endless while loop!
I don't mean I wanna stop learning new things but just looking for a more effitient way for doing this!

Any idea about this?

When you know your product sucks and even you won't support it. Too bad for those two windows phone users left in the world.

Working on a Project. Forced to use xaml I hate xaml. C# is so much more efficient/ easier. Now at least I have an excuse
. 😤

I NEED A JOB

A random relative at family function...
...
Relative: what do you do at Clg?🤨

ME: I learned about Python.!🤓

Relative: where u gonna use it?🤨

ME: with Anaconda and Spider.!🤓

Relative: so you work at zoo.!

ME: 😐😐😐

RIP relative😔

Full stack isn’t about knowing just a backend and little bit of JavaScript. Turns out a bunch of them who applied this week seem it have derived a new meaning for it!

Throwing around terms like “I am exploring MEAN” doesn’t make you sound cool unless you have some working examples that you have built with it.

Ooh. Here's a "deep" one.

For the self thought/online learners, at what point did you consider yourself an "actual" developer and felt ready to go out and apply for jobs and stuff?

And what challenges/reactions did you face?

My first time doing a pair-programming for uni assignment.
My partner is actually smart (a Mechanical Engineering guy), except when it comes to programming :
1. Don't know how to spell FALSE
2. Don't know how to create array in Matlab
3. Poor variable naming
4. Redundant code everywhere
5. Not using tabs
6. Stealing my idea and spit it again in my face after claiming it as his idea
7. Mansplaining every line of his code like I am a stupid person who never sees a computer before.

He said he has an experience in Matlab, wants to specialize in Robotics and taking several ML classes. What did they teach anyway in class to produce a shitty programmer like him?

Thankfully despite his being an arrogant shitty guy, he still manage to get our code to works.
That's good because if not, then I will happily push his head under water while slowly watching him drown.

🤨

Elon Musk doesn’t know what consequences his plan has 🤨

Musk: I‘m putting people on Mars!
Developers: Fantastic, more timezones to support 😑

Thank God it's Friday and my brain is toasted from this specific email to IT department which I had to call to get more details. Here are the parties involved.
1) Original sender (OS), 2) Sender to IT (SIT), 3) IT (Me)

SIT: Can someone from IT print this for OS? She's having issue printing.

Me: It's just an image file in the email. What issues is she having when trying to print?

SIT: Idk. She said she's having issues printing.

Me: Yeah, but what issue? She can't connect to printer, the file won't open or what? Can you ask her what the issue is?

SIT: *hold on...comes back... She just said that again..issue printing..

Me: Well, we need to know what issues it is so we can fix it. In that case she can print and not keep sending documents or files to someone else to print. Btw, did you try printing the image file?

SIT:Since she said she's having issue printing I figured to send to IT to fix the issue and print. I didn't print it.

Me: 😕😂🤔🤨😒..what? First of I still don't know whatever issue she is having. Second, you should try printing it and if you also have issues, let me know.

SIT: Ok how?

Me: *shows her how to get

SIT: Thanks it printed. Now I'm also wondering what issue she was having because this was easy to print..

Me: Can you transfer me to her phone?

Now pay attention here. She is SIT's boss.

Me: Hi OS, what issue are you having when trying to print the image file in your email? I'd like to fix it so you don't encounter that issue from now on..

OS: No issues. I was too busy to do it so I asked my secretary to do it.

Me: So you can print image files with no issues, correct?

OS: Yes.. actually I just printed my a picture my daughter sent me.

Me: Ok, have a nice..

*I call SIT back

Me: She's all set

SIT: Thank you so much fo fixing her issue.

Me: She didn't have any issue. She can print fine..

SIT: WTF!?!

Me: Have a good day, SIT..

😂😂😂😂 I was WOWED!!!

Google suggested me some article about how to preorder iPhone 8 and 8 plus.
To all devs who want to know my trick:
just buy second hand iPhone 7 or 7 plus and say it’s iPhone 8.

This is written by an iPhone 7 plus user and I suggest you if you want good look and functionality - buy OnePlus 5.

Isn't call of duty ww3 just AWESOME ?!!!

Why do payment portals never work correctly?
I just wanted to pay for a service (monthly fee, but you can pay manually), and after the very last step, the fucking site just got stuck at a loading circle. 🤨 Now I have no idea if the payment got through or not.