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Stop f*cking calling me minority or part of a underrepresented group. Yeah I noticed I am one of the only women on a conference. I DONT CARE, I AM A PROGRAMMER NOT A SPECIAL SNOWFLAKE. Hire me for my work, not because you want you company to be more diverse.50
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preface: I'm fucking exhausted and angry.
Why does everyone assume I know how to do frontend?
Why am I always the design girl?
Why?
You hire me to do backend. STOP GIVING ME FRONTEND DESIGN CRAP. I HATE IT.
AND STOP GODDAMN YELLING AT ME FOR NOT MAKING SOMETHING RESPONSIVE.
I DON'T KNOW HOW.
yes i can learn, but I CAN'T FUCKING PICK UP A SKILL LIKE THAT IN A DAY. Also, I fucking hate it.
STICK IT UP YOUR (min-width: 1400px) ASS.
But seriously, I've spent 13 hours today figuring out completely new things (webpack, susy, express.js, cloudinary, responsive best practices, more webpack) because the boss is in panic-mode (his preferred state) and wants this project released last monday.
guess what? it isn't done.
because i still don't know how to do everything. and ofc there's nobody to ask because there never fucking is.
Seriously, boss-man. hire a fucking designer, and stop being an illiterate sales goon while you're at it. ffs.54 -
Tech Industry: “We need more developers!”
NewDev: “Hire me”
Tech Industry: “only experienced developers please! We don’t have time to train juniors ”
Older Dev: “Hire me”
Tech Industry: “no, you want too much money and too much time off“
Mid dev: “Hire me”
Tech Industry: “only experienced devs who are a culture fit!”
Robot dev: “Hire me”
Tech Industry: “You are Hired”10 -
Recruiter: Why you choose this company to work with?
Me: I didn't choose it, I have other interviews.
Recruiter: So why we should hire you?
Me: So I can pay my bills.14 -
Potential Employer: So your website does not seem to work well in Internet Explorer. A lot of employers might get annoyed with it.
Me: Yeah, I don't want them to hire me or even send me a message.2 -
On the feedback form of a new app I started using, I gave several suggestions of features I'd really like to have. As a joke, number 6 was "hire me and Ill write them".
They didn't take it as a joke. Im now 3/4 of the way through their hiring process and they like me the best of all applicants.
9 -
Heard a CEO say at a conference that they hire the most competent candidate. Unless there is a woman in the candidates. Then they hire the woman.
That seems pretty sexist to me.33 -
On my way to my first job interview ever! Applying for a Linux Support Engineer position.
Let's nail this 😎24 -
Part of my job involves speaking with users on the phone and I really don’t mind it except for THESE PEOPLE:
Me: Hi! XYZ Co. this is Tawzer!
Them: Hi Tawzer this is blah blah I need help with the website I just can’t figure it out!
Me: Okay! Let me ju-
Them: Yeah you know I’ve been struggling for hours with it I really don’t have time for this.
Me: Oh I imagine! What’s your-
Them: Well I was gonna try and get everything done today by 3 but with all of this tech stuff going wrong I just don’t know...
Me: That sounds frustrating, can i get your-
Them: Is this going to take long??
Me: Nope! I just need to know your-
Them: like I said I just really don’t have time for this!
Me: ........ What’s your-
Them: well I-
Me: WHAT’S YOUR USERNAME
Them: Uh I don’t know can you look me up? I didn’t know I’d need that.
Me: 👩🏻💻10 -
HR: "We want to hire you, but we shouldn't until after we finish this migration and set up an onboarding process. That should take about two weeks; is this okay?"
Me: "Yes, of course."
... two and a half weeks later ...
Me: "Hey, it's been awhile since our last chat. How's the migration and onboarding process going?" etc.
HR:
------
Ugh.
This is the same company that had me sitting by the phone waiting for an interview an entire day, and let me know their schedule got booked for the day three minutes before they went home. gg.
I should tell them to get bent.22 -
Got married yesterday and am now on a call for the same problem that occurred over Christmas...
I need a new job...10 -
My interviews to hire a Junior Dev will begin this week. Here's how its gonna go down.
Me: Star Trek or Star Wars?
My Supervisor: WTF? How is that relevant?
Human Resources: Let's see what he says.
Applicant: Battlestar Galactica
Me: Nice. I can deal with that.
Me: Tabs or spaces when indenting your code?
Supervisor: ... ?
Human Resources : ...
Applicant: Spaces.
Me: GTFO you imbecile! Next!27 -
My local ISP was saving their database backups in an unprotected folder which was literally domain.com/backups
When I downloaded it contained thousands of their clients data.
Reported it to them and got 2 years of internet/tv services for free.
They wanted to hire me but I was still studying in my first year of uni in another city.7 -
> New hire in company
> Uses white theme in IDE
> Sits next to me
> Get blind everytime when turning head left 😭14 -
3 hours of interview end up asking me
“Are you Chinese”
“Why don’t you look and sound Chinese”
“We only hire Chinese speaking candidate”
After told them that I withdraw my application as they only hire “Chinese speaking candidate” , they started to yell “you not professional , you waste time , I will ban you for life, you quick quick go away.”
So I ended up telling people not to join that company.32 -
College placements, one of the leading tech companies comes to hire people on day 1, I miss the first round coz I overslept, woke up and realized the test started an hour ago, finally went in after the test was done. They still let me take the coding test but with reduced time, and kept talking to themselves that if this guy gets through, I'm fucking done with placements. Managed to do well in the test and then proceeded to the interviews, aced the interviews and was offered a job. People at work still call me "that guy who turned up late and still got the job"6
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In a nutshell, i severely underestimated myself, applied to a bunch of places and now they all want to hire me. Oh well.11
-
So I just had an interview a couple weeks ago at one of the largest employers of software engineers in the country. After multiple stages of group interviews it came to the 2 on 1 individual interview with some project leads (picture devs using a MacBook with Github stickers - lads). Among the questions they asked me we both had a laugh at 2 of them:
Q: Explain how deadlocks work?
A: Hire me and I will explain how they work.
Q: Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
A: Celebrating 22s 22m 22h 22/12/2022.
Strangely enough they hired me 😎1 -
I was recently hired as a lead devops to a giant shit show. The CTO said he needs someone to do things correctly instead of quickly. This is a conversation I just had this morning
HR: We want you to interview a potential new DevOps engineer
ME: okay, when?
HR: Tomorrow
ME: I won't be able to create interview tests and materials for tomorrow. How's next week
HR: This hire is urgent! It has to be tomorrow
ME: Then you'll have to do the interview without me
HR: We need you to interview them because we've had a few bad hires in the past that we don't want to repeat
ME: The best way to filter out bad hires is with technical tests, which will take time to develop. I can be ready by next week.
HR: We can't give you a weeks notice for each hire, we are in urgent need for more devops.
ME: ...14 -
Friday morning, taking a sip of coffee reading mails. (nb: I started the job on Monday, and this is my very first job excepted internship)
*wild manager appears* : come with with me a second.
Me: wtf is that
Him: close the door
Me: shit what did I do
Him: so we're closing this really big deal with a big client/investor
Me: ok cool, what is the point to tell me that ?
Him: remember when we discussed your salary and we couldn't afford to hire you as high as you wanted ?
Me:... Yes ?
Him: well now we can
Me, starting to understand: ... And ?
Him: well your new salary is higher than what you asked in interview
And that's how I got a 8% raise after 4 days at my first job :')6 -
I've had 3 interviews with the same company. The first two interviews went pretty well, they looked interested, on the third they tell me "your CV says you are not graduated yet, we can't hire you now".
SO WHY THE FUCK DID YOU HAD TO WASTE MY TIME?
You've had my CV before the first interview, why the hell didn't you read that I am still a student? Is the first thing it's written on it! Stupid fuckers.5 -
Wife: "How hard is to make a phone app?"
Me: "Depends on what it is, why?"
Wife: "I had an idea for a cool app that does blah blah blah"
Me: "That actually sounds like a cool app. Let's brainstorm tonight and come up with a plan and see if we need to hire some freelance devs for it"
Wife: "Cool, I also want to make an app to blahblah2, oh and one to blahblah3.. oh hmm what about.."
<facepalm>4 -
So I'm a entry level female Developer and I started a contract to hire position in July. Its my first job as a developer and I love almost everything about it. Except this..., there is a Senior Female Developer on my team who hates me and isn't shy about it. She goes for the throat man! She magnifies any mistake I make, hell she calls me out on things that people would consider positive. In sprint planning this week she got mad at me for pulling tasks from the backlog after finishing mine early. I've tried to do everything I could to make her like me. I patiently listen when she goes on and on about her damn cats, kids, sports, ah everything, and she is a non stop talker.
Her main problem with me, so she tells the head of engineering, is that I bug her too much. I almost laughed when I heard this was her main issue with me! Sure, I asked her the normal amount of newbie questions but it's not like I don't know how to read code or google! In fact I started avoiding talking to her about a month ago because she was so rude to me. Now getting hired on full time comes down to whether or not she can stand me still if I am working on another team. I'm so frustrated because it's impossible to prove my worth to this company with this crazy lady making me look bad. I have no problems with anyone else at work. In fact a lot of us have become good friends. No one understands why she hates me so much. It feels like middle school all over again.
On top of that there is an even newer hire who she is supposed to help bring on to the team, but because of her horrible management skills, I have become his defecto mentor for learning the project, as well as the technologies we use. The stress of being in an uncertain contract to hire position + tyrant coworker + helping the new guy + still learning and having my own work to do has been overwhelming! I don't know what to do other than hope that she doesn't try to sabotage me moving to a new team.29 -
Product Owner: "need this doing in 6 months, can you do?"
Me: "we're too busy to start another project at the moment - can you wait about 6 months for it to start, or I'll have to hire more devs"
PO: "I'll just outsource it"
36 months later the company he outsourced to is out of business and hasn't delivered, and I've had their half-finished shit show git repo dumped on me.
No comments, no docs, and no units tests, so no fucking idea what it's supposed to do4 -
I applied for a job in a small gaming company. They rejected me by saying they can’t hire students.
I was cool with it because they didn’t waste my time and told me their decision right away. I started my own gaming company.
Fast forward 6 months later I went back with a business proposition. They accepted it. Its been 8 months now. Everything is going smooth.13 -
“Please develop my complicated eCommerce website. The cost should be somewhere between $0 and $100 because I can do it with a template in Wix or SquareSpace or hire a bot non-person from Fiverr to do it for me if you don’t honor the price I’m asking.”
—United States4 -
Been a jr. dev at a company that's badly in need of more devs. So they hire a sr. dev to work w/ me. Dude's got yrs of xp over me, so he should be ramped up in no time, right?
Jk, he doesn't even know the basics of git. Also, his code is shit. If he's not let go anytime soon, at least I'll look awesome relative to this guy come performance reviews ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.2 -
Me: I can fix that workflow in about five minutes, In fact I can do it right now as we are speaking on the phone.
Customer: okay well... let me contact the director and make sure it’s okay that you fix it.
Me: I won’t make any changes to how it functions I’m only going to make it work again as it used to
Customer: we might need to schedule a meeting to talk about this because I’m not sure that we should be changing the site without permission
Me on the inside: I literally have global admin rights, unlimited power in Sharepoint, am responsible for making sure this stuff works, and BUILT this fucking thing, so now that I’ve been alerted of an issue I’m going to fix it. You are welcome to blame me if your boss is upset about it but I’m not going to wait for a fucking meeting to make sure it’s okay that I update a god damn email address in a workflow.
Me IRL: okay sounds great let me know when it is :)5 -
If recruiter contacted you, and when discussing salary, they asked “Why do you think you worth that much?”. What would be the best answer? Does answering with “Oh because I worth that much, as I’ve experienced in using this and that” sounds arrogant?26
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~March 7~
Boss: Hey cory, guess what, you will not take control of the servers anymore so you can focus on your real job, the company hire someone to do it
Me: Great, finally i can just program, thanks for the news boss
~Yesterday~
Boss: Hey cory, guess what, the person the company hired needs help to migrate some servers so you need to help him on weekend
Me: Well, it's ok i can do the job
~Today~
Director: Hey mr cory, we need you to help jonny on weekend
Me: Fine boss, i will be on weekend
Director: That's the attitude we need in the company, I do not know how much time you need but we're going to pay you 24 extra hours
Me inside ~every went better than expected~ 🤷♂️4 -
Note: our PM is new.
PM: can you help me?
Me: sure, what do you need?
PM: where do the folders with all the techie stuff come from?
I had no context and spent the next 20 minutes trying to work out what folders she was on about. Turned out she wanted to know where the client side folders on our development server come from, was going to explain 'Gulp' and 'Branch' to her but I think I'd be there for the rest of the day... Why do 'tech' companies hire non-tech-savie people.4 -
"Are you going to finish this part or am I going to need to hire someone else?"
~ Asked by a client less than a week into cleaning up and upgrading his Drupal 6 site to Drupal 7 which hadn't been touched in 8 years... Right after pleading with me about how he had no budget and couldn't afford any hours of development.4 -
Made the mistake of mentioning ISO27001 security standard near management.
- "What?? Why don't we have that certificate?! Why are you not thinking about this?"
- "We don't need it."
- "Of course we do! we must have the highest standards!! Lets hire some lawyers and security consultants to help us get certified!"
A week later:
"Ok, turns out we don't need it."
Satan give me strength...9 -
Interviewer : why should we hire you?
Me :*smiles because I have been preparing for this my whole fucking life*3 -
I just told my biggest client that they have to start changing things or they will need to find a different company to work with.
I'm hired to program what they want. They are suppossed to do all the concepting, functional designs, QA, testing.
So they tell me to program feature x, not realising that this interact with feature y. And then complain about the change in feature y. Make me do a lot of extra work and then complain that my estimates are way off.
So I told them they also need to hire my company for the software design and QA and prefferable testing because I'm done getting blamed.9 -
I applied for PHP Developer
Interviewer: What is interface?
Me: it is class with unimplemented methods?
Interviewer: But why we use it?
Me: it acts as a contract so you can assure that
on implementing interface developer will follow
the same architecture.
Interviewer: that's okay but why is the need for an interface at first place?
I was irritated with the interview process as he was smirking
every time I answered.
Me: I never get a chance to do that kind of research. Truth is
even if you hire me your manager will declare the unrealistic deadline and won't care if I comment the code or know why we really need to implement an interface.
After he did not smile and I left the chair.13 -
Just had le first sollicitation/interview.
Went pretty good! Nice guy, very relaxed talking/environment aaand they use Linux internally so no windows for me (if I get the job)!
Although the fact that I don't plan on staying longer than a year (maybe I was too honest) wasn't a good thing to say, it was a good interview :)17 -
I created a my portfolio using ReactJS and actually open sourced the whole thing. Within just a few weeks, its got 67 stars, 38 forks, 3 watches, 1 issue, 1 pull request, and so on.
People out of nowhere messaged me in my whatsapp, skype, facebook to help them in React.
People out of nowhere wanted to hire me, even though I'm still working in a company.
People out of nowhere messaged me just to tell me, how much they liked my work and appreciated it for open sourcing it.
It felt awesome! Like, I can't explain how amazing it felt! ^_^8 -
Company: Hey finish off that degree and we will hire you as a "real developer".
Me: Hey I finished my degree and I applied for that internally posted developer position. How about making me a "real developer" now.
Company: ...
Company: ...
Finally replied today with generic email template thanking me for my interest and applauding me for my skills but sadly informing me I don't meet the requirements for the position.
W.T.F 😡
I think I might be done with this company.11 -
I already wrote one rant about how my family deals with me being a developer, but this rant I wanna dedicate to people close to my family and what they actually think...
Earlier this year I ended school, so I was supposed to find a job. Well...I live in region where only small IT "companies" exist. It is really hard to find job as a developer around here. These small companies either do not want to hire anyone or they just hire people with super amazing university or just family members and friends. Anyway, I did not want to move to the capital city, so I just kept seraching...and that is how this family friends started to be fucking toxic.
While searching for job everyone just kept telling me how am I lazy as fuck and will not just go digging fucking drains or work for minimum wage to some korean shit company around here. Of course not literally, but I can see when someone starts to look at me as I am completely crazy. Our family lost many fake friends who just do not understand because of this. But it did not ended here...
When I finally found a job 1.5 month earlier, I was so happy. Job from home in relative good company. Ho Lee Fuk! Nobody believes me I am actually working. People look at me as I am a lazy fuck laying all day in bed and watching fucking TV. I am done with these dick people.
End of story.2 -
The day I got my first interview, my dad kept fighting over the phone with me. He thought I was out with my girlfriend having fun. He told me no way anyone would waste their time interviewing me, let alone hire me.. Boy did I prove him wrong!1
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Not meeting any good mentors. Not meeting any good colleagues. Not attending any good dev classes.
I have self taught everything. After my uni kicked out, I founded my own work and working since then. Couldn't hire any great talent that can guide me with the pay I can afford.2 -
An old company contacted me, seemed remorseful and said I probably didn't want to work there again but kept pushing. Eventually he said a high salary and I figured ok they had easy projects and the overpaying would beat the underpaying they did while I was there, right?
The new lead dev at the place took a month to give me work, tried to pressure me by saying she was going to tell management they are behind because of me, and then progressively stopped assigning tickets to me and assign-then-reassign them from me according to my schedule/predictions I revealed during the daily stand-ups. Why hire me at all. Then they said they changed their business direction at 3 months and let me go. What a waste of everyone's time.4 -
-Welcome to our entry level positing with Xyz company. I know we told your recruiter we are very hands on with developers. But we aren’t. Also you will be the only developer and there is no team.
-uh…. Okay..
-for the first part of your interview we are going to have you write a program in node that will reach out to our api and sort medical data with our clients.
-so you want me to create something live, and you’re going to be using it before you hire me in the actual work place?
-if it works, yes. Then we will decide on if we will hire you or not.
Wtaf?6 -
The funny thing is I have never been rejected. I know you think I am lying, but everyone I have ever interviewed with wanted to hire me.7
-
Yay😊
The company I'm working at (as student developer) just told me that they would love to hire me full-time, when I'm done!
Love working here, so totally gonna take them up on that 😊14 -
My most awkward interview experience:
I go through the whole process Witt my usual attitude: stay relaxed, be open and let it be a process about meeting each other.
My interviewer at the end of it: "we won't hire you, you are too relaxed and don't fear me enough."
Ooookay? Glad I didn't pass it then!9 -
So today I decided to change the passwords on some online accounts...
Sony: "Don't use the same symbol twice in a row. Oh, and how about 4 reset emails because the first 3 times it won't work?"
Me: "Okay, this password meets all requirements"
Sony: "I don't believe you lol."
Twitch: "Error: Your password length must be between 8 and 40 symbols!"
Me: "But mine has 24 symbols and the password field shows a green checkbox"
Twitch: "Error: Your password length must be between 8 and 40 symbols!"
Aaaargh! Did they hire toddlers as interns or something?1 -
If you had a dollar for every time someone has told me "I have an app idea" , you would have enough money to hire me to build your app.3
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Marketing for Developers done RIGHT!
<!-- Hey Payoneer Its better to hire me... im better in posting ads on fb and more better in writing codes -->
6 -
Today,
My "big boss" call me because I take too much time to develop a website. She thinks all I need to do is drag n drop. Why the f*ck do you need to hire me if it's only drag n drop you "super smart ass licker"? Man, this old people need some update about technology.
Btw, the "drag n drop" idea came from Dreamweaver YouTube tutorial.2 -
My one goal is to build something that lets me stay at home with my lil girl all day. Have been thinking about my own company for a while, there are 2 software companies in town with very weak tech stacks. I know I am better and can do better. So my goal is to build my own company and hire enough people to take care of it while I spend more time with my daughter. I get sad when I have to drop her off at the daycare while me and the wife have to go to work. All I want to do is be with my family.11
-
Boss: We need to hire more people, lower your technical requirements.
Me: Why not just hire interns. They're cheaper, we can mold them into the role faster, and most interns get hired after school and stay for years.
Boss: ... we can do that?
The boss knows I started off as an intern at the company. 🙄6 -
Discussion between a new hire (NH) and a designer (D) in our project :
D : "I need the final designs"
NH : "You haven't given me any content"
D : "I'm sending you a layout with dummy text"
*2 days later*
NH : "WHATS LOREM IPSUM?!"2 -
He wanted to hire me as CTO but insisted of defining architecture himself even though he admitted he has no tech background. He insisted that his CRM doesn’t even need backend because “we have database”. He was dysgraphc but completely ignored accessibility, including measures for dyslexic people. He called his product “startup” but denied that startups need to constantly validate ideas and denied the conception of a/b testing, offering no alternative.
He also wanted me to work for free.
Bruh you’re not a clown, you’re an entire circus.5 -
Most awkward recruiter interaction was probably when I had to tell a staffing agency that I didn't want to work for them because I had already worked for them and left.
I got into IT by working for a staffing agency and I was contracted out to a large company's IT call center. Doing the usual sort of level-one tech support stuff. After my contract term ran out (and upon reminding my boss that she wouldn't be my boss for much longer if she didn't hire me away from the staffing agency), I was hired on full-time.
Six months later I left the call center and moved on to a cloud server development job in the same company. Not long after that, I got a message on LinkedIn from the staffing agency, offering to hire me on as a contractor working for one of their largest partners in the area.
I responded asking for more details, just for fun. The company I'd be working for, etc. Then I had to inform them that I had in fact previously worked for their firm, and now worked at the company that they were offering to contract me out to, and earning a fair bit more money than they were offering.
They didn't even look at my employment information on LinkedIn before sending the InMail. Just glanced over my skills, saw the magic buzzword "devops," and sent me a message.3 -
Should I actually look into getting a dev job..?
*I have a high school diploma (graduated three years early)
*College dropout (3-4 months, Computer Science - Personal Reasons)
*No prior work experience.
*Good textural communication skills, poor verbal communication skills.
*Currentally unemployed. (NEET :P)
*I have extensive personal experience with Java, and Python. Some Lua. Knowledge of data generation, parsing, Linux, Windows, Terminal(cmd & bash), & Encryption(Ciphers).
*Math, but very little algebra/geometry (though, could easily improve these).
*Work best under preasure.
Remote only.
Think anyone would hire me..?13 -
What to do when you somehow can't align 3 goddamn icons side by side?
You take a screenshot of them three when they are aligned and you set this image as the button instead.
Who managed to hire such incompetents??
(screen is me dragging the "icons")
7 -
“I suck as a coder. I have no business writing a single function. None of what I’m doing is working. I should be fired and nobody should ever hire me again.”
*Remembers to clear caches and it works right the first time*
“I’m a pretty great coder.” -
Too many clients watch one or two development videos on Youtube to then 'school' me on how to fix bugs... if you're such an awesome dev, why hire me? :)
2 -
Trying to hire more good devs... it's surprisingly hard. Guy with supposed decade of JavaScript experience fails code test, "I don't really use map function so I don't know it."
R U kidding me
...and yet my "maybe we should consider remote devs" idea isn't getting any traction :/9 -
This one time at an internship I was getting flamed for not 'coding' valid html5 (me being a backend dude) after some painful hours it was html5 valid... Only to then get flamed on for the text being one pixel off or something... I mean if you want a front end intern then don't look and hire a backend4
-
My supervisor's flaky attitude is annoying the shit out of me.
Mate, why would you agree to hire me for the project I wanted to do (and get me to move halfway across the planet) and then tell another colleague that I'm focusing too much on my project and they should give me their extra work?
Like, I get it but I don't get it. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯6 -
HR is getting so desperate they are prescheduling me interviews attached with CVs in the hopes that I will interview the candidates for a senior, even though the candidates have no experience whatsoever in embedded software programming. Workday, JIRA and Excel does not count you absolute fucknuggets.
For fuck sake, I asked management to hire new grads or juniors, at least I can get a person motivated to learn, but I swear they just don't listen.
They just are content with wasting my time lol3 -
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118 -
when you don't have anything to rant about because you're fresh out if university and don't have a job so you don't feel like a full fledged dev. 😞😭 time to study for those interviews I guess.3
-
Downside of being a developer without design skills & creativity.
--
Yesterday, i created a simple food ordering app for our office. I shared it to my dev colleagues and got a decent feedback (except for the new hire). But when shared it to people like writers and graphic designers. I feel a bit off.
Graphic D: "The app should not use a blue color scheme. because blue is an UNAPPETIZING COLOR", "The yellow color is too vibrant"
Writers: They are blabbing about the grammar and spellings :(
New Hired Dev: Can you share me the codes?
** I always trying to learn how to do webdesign but i think its not really for me :(8 -
Fuck you sideways stupid ass clowns of HR people.
If you don't want to hire me, it's okay. What is not okay it's to steal several days of my life with your idiotic multi-step interviews, telling me I did awesome and you'd like to hire me as soon as possible, then actively avoid any contact for three whole fucking weeks, just to finally tell me you've chosen someone else with a more prestigious degree but way less actual experience in the field. You'll come to me begging soon and I'll laugh in your faces.3 -
Bill Gates: I will always choose a lazy person to do a difficult job. Because he will find a easy way to do it.
Me: Hello, is this Microsoft. I'm the laziest person you can find on planet earth. Hire me.
2 -
relative: can you help me with my website?
me: ok, what do you need?
them: okay, i have this wordpress homepage that someone made for me and actually, when you go to my image gallery, i only want a simple "back" button that leads to the main page. but i cannot add it via wordpress functionality.
me: okay, i'll make you this button in under 10 minutes, given it doesn't require any fancy design. but i have no experience with messing with wordpress so far... let me check what their templates look like
(after 1 hour): wtf is this mess 😭
...since they only had their production website, i didn't dare to change anything and told them they best hire that dev again 🙈9 -
When I was a beginner ppl told me
"French companies hire Indian developers because they're cheaper"
Today ? Oh I'm working for an Indian company.5 -
Stages of being a self-taught developer.
first: you think you have taught yourself enough to apply for a job.
second: A Company actually believes you. Evidence? They hire you.
Third: You realize you don't know anything.Evidence?
Me in my head
I thought I was good at this. I don't know anything. I should probably switch back to nutrition(my previous job).Why am I struggling with this? Who even struggles this much with APIs??6 -
An online shop ... something like Amazon Shopping for South East Asia keeps on sending me their newsletter even though I have already unsubscribed. I wish they'd hire me to take care of their email service.
Although I doubt this is a bug and perhaps one of a schemes of the marketing department and they are already aware of this. Sneaky corporate bastards.
5 -
Hey, if you buy my algorithm and dont actually hire me (not that i would have accepted anyway), dont fucking spam my phone 2 months later to explain a fucking regression to your msc students who seem to have learned jackshit @ college.
-
I don't know if I should be sad or be happy...
It's a few days left until I get back to college from my IT internship. The team was awesome. Literally awesome. The chief wanted to hire me as a developer. He asked me if I would accept his apprenticeship offer. I got stuck and couldn't answer :D
I would accept it, but I can't rn. Still want to study...10 -
CoolFuckingStoryBob
So I found a job that fit my stack perfectly
I phoned the CEO and we had a mini phone interview, it was easy
And the next day I had an offline interview
It was fast as fuck. I answered all of the questions, showed my projects and we were done in 30 mins, pretty good huh
So the CEO tells me to wait a week
It's strange but ok
The week passes, and you guess what
"We can't hire you, you psychological portrait does not fit in our team..."
I'm like bitch, what the fuck
I had declined other offer cuz I though there was no reason not to hire me
Also this is a small company tho, I should've saw it coming 😐12 -
I was conducting interviews today. There was a candidate who impressed me a lot and i was about to hire him but one question turned the interview into a hilarious situation.
Me: what are delegate events?
Candidate: events that are fired even if you click on the side of the button6 -
Now i told u have to work 44 hours in a week, after 3 mounths they will hire me if i be good enough.
Sounds scary a little🏢7 -
New AD account.
cannot login.
Want to create a ticket.
Need a login to create ticket.
*genius*
Go to coworkers machine.
Open ticket there.
They respond, the user must create the ticket himself.
Ffs!1 -
i've built a profitable full stack SaaS application, from scratch, by myself, that requires 0 maintenence
and you dont think i have the skills required to hire me?
🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡10 -
Finally got some fruition out of my job hunting.. a publishing company wants to hire me. Only issue.. they're paying only ~€1k/m (before or after tax.. no idea.. and the tax on individuals here in Belgium definitely isn't any better) and that's even split between me and another guy I'd be collaborating with, and then there's some royalties. I can't pay shit with that. The argument being that it'll give me experience. #forexposure, #forexperience!!!
Well at least it's paid at all unlike internships I guess ¯\_(ツ)_/¯9 -
Ive reached a point where seeing the telegram logo with the little santa hat makes me so happy that i smile for hours because everything else sucks so much. Can we just burn formal education to the ground and only hire <30yro people as professors?10
-
Currently in 3 degrees bachelor in internship to be analyst-developper, yesterday my teacher came in the company where I do my internship and the man who supervise me said to him that I was just "perfect" I am the kind of person that they dream to hire, that's cool it makes me happy, but unfortunately the team is full :-/2
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What was the most stupid thing interview ever do to you?
My side of story. He (interviewer, also a developer) try to convince me that JavaScript and Java are the same thing. Which we all know that is not...
He said "I can't hire someone who don't know basic of computer science , this is basic that JavaScript is from Java"
(Isn't ecmascript or something?)
Saying JavaScript is From Java is a wrong statement. There are differences between having a DICK and Being a DICK.4 -
Does anyone else lose respect for IT or programming companies that use OTHER companies to make their websites?
You mean to tell me, you want me to hire you to make a website, when you can't even make your own? Not happening.8 -
SharePoint things that I get yelled at by customers for:
Setting up page permissions wrong (even though the real problem is that a coworker didn’t check the page in)
Writing the workflow wrong and nobody is getting emailed (even though they didn’t select who to send the email to)
Not magically knowing that they wanted the new intern (who started Tuesday) to be given full design rights on their page
Not magically knowing that their discussion mod quit a year ago (before I started here) and now nobody can feature a post
Not spinning up an entire new site so that they could post a link to a single sign up sheet for their team (of 10 people) barbecue
Somehow making it so MS Edge can’t handle high res images correctly (because I totally created Edge (which isn’t even a supported browser here))
Not responding immediately when they submitted a ticket at 7:00pm (I’m off at 5) asking me to change one word on a page they have edit rights to
Not giving their admin assistant global design rights for our entire organization
Not giving them access to a confidential folder that has nothing to do with their job
Telling the owner of aforementioned folder that they’re not allowed to store confidential data in SharePoint
Making workflows too confusing for them to figure out
Fixing shit workflows that their ex coworker built wrong
Generally having the word SharePoint associated with my name2 -
Family reaction to me being a dev (and offering to replace their home/personal IT guy with google drive and a mesh wifi network):
We're going to hire an IT guy because they have more experience doing this kind of thing. BITCH, I'VE BEEN DOING THIS FOR 15 YEARS!!! -
If my Kickstarter campaign get approved an its succeed finally I can afford to hire some of you guys :)
I made it possible to check the un-inspected pre-beta holdings here:
http://micro-kingdoms.com/displayho...
There are 28053 of them. I have to say that It's going well considering that no one wants to join me in development... it makes me a bit sad...
7 -
Just started onboarding the new hire and it made me realise how much of a dumpster fire some of our code is
-
Some weeks ago I post a rant about the fact that my supervisor (I'm in internship) said to my teacher that he was happy of my work, today he said to me that he wants to hire me as Business Analyst and Business Intelligency ! So proud of it !4
-
Flying back to NY for my last semester.
Don't know how to feel about it.
Let the job hunting begin!
Pssst... Please hire me2 -
I am feeling little fucked up.
I talked to one of the female employees from my new company, I'll be joining next month.
She asked manager to hire a girl in the team, I know she casually asked but after knowing this, I know my interviews were surprisingly easy, I mean I know already that no one asked me to optimize anything... did the fucking hired me for diversity, pay is good, people are good, work is good but seriously if I'm getting hired for the fucking diversity my manager is going to have a good speech from me and I'll move from his team for sure.16 -
I am doing very well in a STEM PhD on a topic I don't like. I wish someone could hire me as a junior software developer instead. :(5
-
Me(handling 3 simultaneous apps): we have too many projects need another dev to share the load
Boss: don't worry...
Proceeds to hire one more Dev and take 3 more projects on :/
Logic!=present.1 -
So...
I'm doing an internship on the best company ever....
Boss is so awesome he waited half a year so I could do the internship... Cause Corona and fucking stupid Public workers (half my class didn't finish... Like... It's a pandemic and lets not facilitate, it's just one year of their life's)
Workers are great... Environment is so good that yesterday one coworker went to talk to the boss and me and the other did his job on his back... So we could all leave in time.
And I probably won't stay after... Because thers not enough work to hire me....
Fuck Corona. -
This has been an interesting week! In my first management position, my first person to hire as a senior frontend developer has been approved!
Also made some killer API's this week! Show me the love!
The hunt is on! Heading to two meetups in Sydney next week 😉1 -
Why do big companies hire such loser engineers ??? I mean what the hell man. When you are hiring a fresher to code they should at least know how to apply/write a for loop. I once had a colleague who assigned each array element individually instead of writing a for loop and asked me why I refused to approve his stupid code. What do I reply to this ? It was so dumb, I could not articulate an answer.11
-
Client : you are hired as a developer.
Me : we need more developers as there's more work and less time.
Client : Ok, here's another dev
(Meanwhile me doing my work...)
ON THE DAY OF DEMO :
Me : Here's the demo.
Client: it's incomplete, where's more work?
Me: that's the part of 2nd dev you hired before
Client : I don't care, I fucking need a work!
Me inside: (Why the fuck would the first dev becomes a task/team manager just because is the first one to join the project! Arrrgh!!! Hire a fucking scrum master to manage your fucking tasks/team, am just a fucking dev! )6 -
Some prankster on upwork is trying to swindle me out of paying me because they didn't "hire" me through upwork even though he asked me to send an "example" of my rendition of what I would do for their logo. Once they told me they went with someone else even after performing the requested "example," I promptly asked who to invoice. "They're going to go talk to the boss and see what they can work out."1
-
I was searching for an internship while studying abroad (7h timezone difference, I was expecting some difficulty to communicate). I also sent my resume to a friend so he could pass it around.
So one day I receive this mail, with a company telling me they're interested in my profile. When reading through the previous messages below I see that actually my resume hopped from my friend to one of his to another person etc...
Quite glad that this human link brought me an opportunity, I ask for an interview over Skype. When we finally settle for a date and time, "interview" starts by him basically saying me : "We'd like to hire you, do you have any questions?"
Well that was easy 👍 -
Boss: Let's hire a new person to help us recreate our website
Us: sounds good!
Boss doesn't hire anyone and starts the website on his own
Boss: I started the new website. It's in server X and the address is test.y.com. I also want all of us to work on it
Me thinking: great he just wants us to modify the hosted files like he does 🙄
Me: I'll move a copy to GitHub for version control.
Boss: Great!
Boss creates a backup folder on the same computer and folder path that the hosted files are on.
Someone please nuke that server so my boss learns version control like I've asked before. I think I'll opt not to work on a website where he and my other co-workers will just overwrite each other's changes because he doesn't want to learn to git 😑4 -
8 days till end of contract.
Let’s hope nobody nice want to hire me for at least a month.
I need vacation badly.2 -
I quit my education to go on a path to become a self-taught developer. It doesn't work out that well. I still have a part time job. Which doesn't cover all my expenses. I don't have a degree and nobody wants to hire me. I am getting a second job which leaves me little time for coding. Soooo yeah... Mistakes were made.24
-
My favourite year was probably 2016, when I left my previous job and became a full-time dev. That year, the OS project I'd been working on hit 10 000 users, and one of the collaborators decided to hire me.
Moved country, and had a really exciting time, and the years since have been pretty great too.1 -
Went to an old employer to drink coffee and talk about an opertunity. During nice talk he mentioned that he can see that I've had a rough time and got what slower. Maybe too slow to still do this kind of job / project. It's my freaking medication :(. It's a great employer and great boss. Really want to make it work.
It hits hard when someone that liked you a lot says that you became slower. Yes, I'm dead inside. Now hire me and let me fix that.
BTW, it's Java. I'm at least faster than the interpreter11 -
Boss : "Hey everyone is so busy/too good to work on that project but it's really complicated af and you'll be alone. Good luck ! Oh and we are ok to hire you next year after your apprenticeship, work well and without pressure !"
Me : O_o "Ok I'll do my best, shoudn't be that complicated"
Me (1 month after) : demotivated, sick of that mission, tired, algorithm not working, I wanna die I'm a parasite for that company. Thanks giving me that work to do.1 -
Why would companies ever hire a manager from a non-tech background, at least for managing engineers? After reading @IAmNotARobot's latest rant I just have to ask because it makes absolutely no sense to me. Surely non-tech people should be reserved for managing non-tech roles like sales, HR, and maaaaybe team leads, right? How can you manage someone if you don't understand anything of what they do?3
-
I need to hire a fucking personal cryptologist just to help me understand Visual Studio error messages.
-
Dev, boss and guy who know logic is looking at the server.
Problem: it's not responding
Boss: we need this running now! Otherwise the sales won't go through
Dev: give me a chance, I just got here
Guy: have you tried turning it off and on again?
They did so and at works.
Boss: guess we don't need to hire another dev, this guy knows what he is talking about, he is some kind of server expert..
Really.........1 -
Ok fellow dev's, the engineering head said that he had to let me go because apparently I'm a very talented engineer but I have a bad attitude. All of this because he claims I don't seem too interested in meetings and all that bs.
So from Monday on it's Knowledge transfer time since major parts of our product have been written by me.Wish the head had some balls, and told me he was firing me because I wont suck up to him and be a yes man, bastard thinks you can hire and fire good dev's just like that (he can) .Plus he has never appreciated folks for the effort and the work they do. :(4 -
Kind of awkward for me.
Tomorrow is my last day at my current job and my department is starting to work full time remote tomorrow.
I start my new job this next Monday, and they went full remote yesterday. As of now they're shipping my laptop my way, but they cancelled new hire orientation on Monday and moved it to the following week. I haven't heard about what is expected for Monday yet, guess I'll know soon!3 -
Okay I'm doing the whole leetcode bs, interviewing with a faang like company.
I'm genuinely curious to see if their engineers are actually any good. It seems backwards to me to hire someone based on something they most likely know by heart.
It's like trying to stress test an API by calling a cached endpoint. It will look fast AF, and it will be, but it won't compute shit.
Anyway, if I get the job and the engineers aren't crappy, then I'll forever stfu about how lame this is. But if I get the job and the devs are crappy, oh boy you'll hear me for a long time.3 -
Me:
-Lack of experience
-slow learner/fast learner
-not really a team player
-always keep a positive attitude
-but when I started doing smthing, I'll finish it.
-willing to learn
I wonder if anyone would still hire me to their company.. Let me know.. I fucking hate my workplace and the owner. You hire me for doing smthing else, and you always told me to do smthing else that is not even related to my job. I'm not your fucking ass cleaner. = = you shit on that thing, you clean it yourself. Fucking fucking fuck! -
Client can't pay me and has asked to pay me in four installments spread across on month. Surely to all hell, if you don't have the money, don't hire a goddamn developer!
This job was decided before I got advice from you guys about getting a contract as well!4 -
Why does it always follow the same format?
Me: we should do do and so because xyz. Alternatives are this and that because uvw.
Manager: no, I'll hire another manager.
[Q]uit, [T]ry again? T... fml
Manager 2: let's have a meeting.
Meeting almost ends up being about an entirely irrelevant topic. Barely get the requirements before the end of the day.
Me: write summary following conventions.
Manager 2: let's hire another manager. Manager 1: great idea, manager 2!
Manager 3: let's build a spaceship!
[D]evsplain, [R]agequit, [T]ry again?
class Manager:
"""This shouldn't be too hard..."""
... -
Yeah sure, drown me in administrative work and then plan to hire another dev to help because I can't keep up.
Are you kidding me?
F*cking hire someone for the KPI and that stuff!2 -
I'm not jumping on your shitty bandwagon on LinkedIn for a "world-wide customer", "really important" .. and fucking shady blah blah blah to hire me.
I PICK the company I want to work for.
I RESEARCH the company I want to work for.
I DECIDE where I'm gonna be miserable,
it's my fucking choice.
You ain't selling it to me, keep sending your shitty messages i'm trashing as soon as I get them. -
The Director of my employer's Firmware Engineering department, an older guy, sent out a department-wide email introducing a new hire. IN COMIC SANS.
Even though I am a new employee myself, I cannot let a disgrace like this pass unaddressed. So I politely and as respectfully as possible urged him not to use Comic Sans in a professional setting, and even offered rationale & alternatives.
He essentially responded, "No offense, but I'm gonna use whichever font I choose," but with that one simple sentence riddled with grammatical and spelling errors.
Shortly afterwards, he then sent out a mass email introducing me as a new hire. With my provided bio in a business-appropriate font, sandwiched between two hideous blocks of Comic Sans.
Honestly, how the fuck do people like this make it to a managerial position? >_>4 -
Most difficult part is to work with company where all senior admins are from sales. They never f*cking idea about developers problems.
Just give time to end user customer before 3 month schedule. and now thinking, we can do 3 months working in 4 days.
The sales people think nine women can deliver a baby in just One month. just pushing me to hire new developers.4 -
My status:
Graduate student studying Computer Science at the University of New York at Buffalo.
4 Computer Vision and Image Processing Projects
3 Distributed Systems projects (Android apps).
Red Hat Certifications.
Applied to 135 companies for an internship program.
Here are the replies I have gotten so far.
" We have analyzed your resume and we think you'll be a great choice for this position at our company."
What position?
MARKETING INTERN.
FML!1 -
Feelin' not prepared but also prepared for code samples and tech interviews. Can companies just believe that we are capable of building awesome shit & hire us?! You feel me?2
-
- finish my project's backend, make a proto frontend
- throw the proto away and hire someone to do it for me. Or at least make the design...
- learn that freaking k8s ffs...
- if there will be spare time left - move from on-prem to aws/gcp, maybe launch an alpha
- improve my people skills
- bump my salary significantly5 -
I'm just FUCKING DONE. Everyone around me looks at me like a fucking paycheck they either don't want to pay me or like one they want from me but that I can't make enough of. Every time I open my stupid cakehole something stupid flies out of it that offends someone or makes me look incompetent or sets me back somehow. I'm not suicidal but I don't want to be on this planet anymore. I'm stranded here with nobody who wants to hire me and people around me who are tapping their feet waiting for people to hire me. I have nothing in my bank accounts to cover enormous and increasing monthly expenses coming up on the horizon and no way to pay for them. I have a stupid president who just keeps making it worse and worse with every stupid thing that comes out of his geriatric mouth or that he signs with his shaking dementia-ridden hand. He just keeps taxing me and taxing me and now has an army the size of the FUCKING NATIONAL GUARD of IRS agents ready to FUCK ME UP THE ASS if I have just one business expense out of order. I have all of this responsibility for my family and none of the power to do anything for them. And now that most of my kids are adults, none of them can afford to move out for the long-term future and also they're not able to get much money to help out so it's still incumbent on me to carry them until they're like FUCKING 35 YEARS OLD OR SOMETHING! The wife is pretty much sick of me and my shitty attitude about it all and she says she thinks that I think it's all her fault. We don't have any kind of romantic relationship anymore (well, I have all the interest and she has all the avoidance).
Also, I'm a man, and white, and straight, and "privileged" (oh, so privileged) so I'm the _worst person on the planet_.
I was born on this earth to be a FUCKING WARNING, not the lesson. When that meteor comes, let it take me out first.7 -
Just got another email from Amazon recruiting. I deleted it but then thought of a response...
I've found preparing for your interviews and the chance of me getting through is so time consuming and so low that it's better use of my time and effort (way easier) just buying your shares and profiting off the results of whoever you actually hire.4 -
I am done with .NET and it's bullshit error messages.
"Validation error happened! Please see Entity.Validation.Properties to see what the error is, then consult an oracle, who'll summon a demon who'll answer only three questions . . ."
FUCK OFF and just give me the error. I swear to god exceptions in NET always lead to some stupid fucking scavenger hunt rather than just letting me know what the fuck went wrong. This isn't the first time I've encountered this either, where it tells me there's an error and there's a mountain with a shaman at the top who'll provide me with the details if I can just hire a sherpa who'll help me climb it.3 -
Some backstreet fine artist come designer came to me wanting a website, her brief was a moonpig.com but for wedding stationery. I asked her if she had a million plus marketing budget for launch and a shit pile of cash, or was it just really some simple website that people can hire you to design bespoke wedding stationery. In the end she agreed it was just another basic website for peanuts. Either way the answer was fuck off, use squarespace or some other shit that you can fuck about in and cut me out of the process, I don’t want your tiny pittance and months of can you just.1
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I’m searching for a engineering management job… I was told by two recruiters from two separate companies that they were going to give me offers and that I was an amazing hire… They then ghosted me for a week and then didn’t give me an offer.
FML6 -
When this guy started asking me a bunch of googled questions such as:
Why should I hire you?
Why do you want this job?
What do you know about the company?
Describe your biggest fear?
What's your biggest strength/weakness ?
Dood pls3 -
Im 30, and I was wondering, what is the max age to retire as a developer? i mean, companies still hire developers at 50?6
-
designrant / As a prepress media designer who study part time interaction design on fridays, I'm fucked. Every agency in switzerland is searching like crazy for Senior UX Interaction Designer. Because of that, they wont hire me as junior, until i have my degree as interaction designer. And printshops won't hire me because of my study. They say I'm overqualified as a prepress operator. fml! :-/6
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The founder of the company saw my profile in linkedin. He dm me and said that he and his co founder reviewed my profile and saying that they were interested to hire me because my profile was good. And after a week. I officially joined the team, eventually the person that contacted me admitted that he's msg is just templated and sent to all related developers. I realize that they didnt even check my portfolio I thought they appreciate it. FML!
-
why is it everybody wants to hire a head of a department all the time
like that's just super weird to me
wouldn't it make more sense to hire someone into a lower position, have them learn from head of a department, then get promoted because you know they'll head the department to your standards then?
but most posts want you to already be head of a department... and it's like, I don't know your department. what the hell happened to the last head of department? why do so many people need heads of department? why the hell are they choosing to get them from outside the company?
somehow none of this makes any sense to me
like I'm literally just so confused why people hire seniors and expect them to automatically know the way the company does things
it just literally doesn't make sense
promote your underlings? then hire more underlings to sus them out?
WHY ARE YOU HIRING SENIOR STAFF FROM OUTSIDE YOUR COMPANY, LITERALLY NOBODIES, AND GIVING THEM TONS OF AUTONOMY AND CONTROL OVER OTHERS IN YOUR COMPANY, THATS SO CONFUSING
worse yet I hear most people just lie when they apply so it's like... are you rotating irresponsible lying people through senior positions at your company over and over again, as they attrition your underlings and eventually get fired for incompetence?
WHAT IS THE STATE OF THIS ECOSYSTEM5 -
I graduated from a bootcamp this February, moved to London and I was certain someone will hire me in the first two weeks. I have never been this wrong4
-
I'll be asking the HR of my next company to include a "fuck off" clause in the contract if they want to hire me.
Under that clause, I would have the right to tell anyone, and everyone, to fuck off. It includes all 24 hours of the day, not just the working hours.10 -
My boss don't give me any information about the project in 2 months ... Then the application need to run in 1 week ... Im the only developers in this faculty .. suprise ! I said to him the project cannot be delivered in such small time ...
Boss : but you having so mutch time to do it !
me: but you tell me to fix some PC screen and printer and is not my job to do that im a programmer.
Boss: but you have certification in programmation and tech support
Me: yes but you hire me to code your project not to fix your forest !
Boss: if you don't want to work just say it
Me: never mind ...
Results: i change faculty in the university -
Focus on your strengths and not your weaknesses. Oh and wear one of those Polo Pullovers, that way you'll say "Hire me, because I'm that cool kinda sexy but douchey as fuck developer you guys need in your life". That should get the job done or job gotten.
-
Working for unappreciative fucktard clients who believe they know more about dev than a seasoned professional and try to give me advise on how to approach my work and or solve programming issues. FUCK Sake if you know it then don't hire me you fucktard client.
My best experience is working for a small company and bridging their disconnected systems together using an array of programming languages such as Go, PHP, VB, Batch Script, Javascript and C -
I finish my internship in dev the next week and my supervisor wants to hire me as a Business Analyst, for that I have to pass some tests in an assessment center.. I hope I will success it ! 👊1
-
HR:why do you want to join this company?
My friend(trying to be oversmart):why do YOU want to hire me?
Result rejected :D
PS: He has gone to CMU for masters so zero fucks given from his side.1 -
client asks me to setup a form that emails on their site... no problem. didnt know what they actually wanted was for me to set up an email server.... im a terrible terrible sys-admin. no one should hire me for that kind of work.5
-
I really dislike micromanagement. I don't want to dictate details. I don't like hierarchies where my direct reports obey me.
The only thing that obeys me is my hands, with them, I write the exact code I want. I don't hire another pair of hands. I hire another brain.
When you see your direct reports as professionals, you can give declarative tasks: "make a pretty website footer", "make that page load quicker". If you leave implementation details for your direct reports to decide, this doesn't mean they'll fuck up. They are professionals too, and if you personally interviewed them, you better believe they can handle it. -
Upper mgmt paying an enterprise software vendor 40k US annually. Told vendor No more me QA'ing for them and 'discovering' obvious bugs. Told them to hire QA person and spring for some automated testing software. Yeah I know I am a nice guy but Enough is enough!1
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Wow I'm jobless now due to inflations now no companies here in Malaysia wants to hire me.
I looked at linkedin realised I am not the only one who is facing this issue.
Most company in Malaysia declared bankruptcy. Massive retentions.
Looking remote jobs from overseas, got ghosted.
Hey @devrant want to hire me to reprogramme devrant for 3500USD? Hihihihi😈😈😈🤡15 -
So the company that asked me to join them for work in a somewhat illegal way, has just sent me a small project to understand how I think inside a project in order to understand whether they should hire me or not.
I have a week to finish that.
It's only frontend, in ReactJS+Tailwind, based on a theme/framework.
I fucking despise ReactJS and specifically told them I much rather work on Angular.
I feel like
I'll just do this project at best, give it to them, wait until they give me the contract and they tell them they'd need to double my pay to have my ass.
Yeah, I just want them to waste time, just like they're wasting my time. -
Lately I take work literally seriously, not due to motivation but due to fear, more on that later, but this is what I think about lately while I'm working
> that line of code should fix it
> oh shit I should've checked logs
> let me check logs
> let me put 10 breakpoints in code and javascript in chrome
> why is this bug not reproducing?
> why I have to work on someone else's spaghetti code?
> this loop iterates over all customers' data I'll just step over it, Oh fuck I resumed
etc etc
I'm feared because where I live, isn't a good place for software developers as there aren't companies which hire, those who hire need ninja developers who complete 1 JIRA Sprint/Phase in 1 day, Here I feel safe as there are people to correct me plus coffee machine -
My short story about my interview today.
Hr: we have some repetitive work and deploys project very long.
My inner voice: why u post about having this kinds of skill if you want to just post in wordpress and also have a lot of requirement if you only edit and add post to wordpress, you should not hire a php developer you need a content uploader or some other thing.
Me: i think this job doesnt fit me. -
It's the end of the semester and the 'talent hunters' are crawling out of their holes again.
No, I don't want a job at your borderline pyramid scheme firm, and that it's in another country doesn't really help your case. Now kindly fuck off and leave me alone.
Besides I'm not even graduating that year and as I've come to learn in the past few weeks, nobody wants to hire a student that wants to work parttime ._.3 -
A company gave a recruiting agency the requisites and allowed the recruiters to actually hire the people instead of just arranging plans. A recruiter came to me and offered me a senior position with a 50k salary with no interview or anything. I'm not even a graduate yet... I didn't take it cause I want to finish my degree1
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I need help for a dev test.
So the company that I work at is hiring a couple of new devs and they’ve put me in charge for test in order to see if the applicants are any good.
When I was hired there were no tests so I don’t have that many ideas for a good one.
Have you guys any good recommendations for a test or what it could consist of?
I’m thinking of having multiple small tests so if one misunderstands the task it’s not the whole test they fail. Would that be a good idea or not?
It’s for senior and junior web developer.
Any idea is greatly appreciated 😀5 -
Me:
- 4+ years of experience
- Great Portfolio
- Great Github profile
- Worked at some succesful startups.
Interviewer:
- Uhmm sorry we can't hire you for this frontend job because you couldn't complete this whiteboard bubble sort test in c++.4 -
I wad looking for a kind of 'internship', i'm an 18y/o high school self-taught programmer, and applied for a job at a small company in my town, with a mention: "I don't wanna be paid, I want just to evolve my skills, by gaining experience". When they called me, the HR girl told me exactly this: "If you can gain 2 years of experience until next month, we will hire you". My face expression changed to a poker one and I asked "How am I supposed to spend 2 years in 2 weeks?" and she responded: "I don't know, I told you what they told me to tell you"... Anyone else who got into a situation like this? How is this even possible?8
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Let's suppose you have your own company and you want to hire developers
Would hire a junior or a senior ? As a first step
If your answer is senior
Please tell me when it's the best time to hire a junior ?8 -
Hey ya'll, I was wondering if you could give me a career advice. I'm a front end dev with about 3 yrs of experience, and would like to do more cloud architecture/devops. How would I go about it, considering that I've only used aws, gcp, and azure for my hobby/side projects? Should i get certified? Who would hire me?
I'd really appreciate any advice/tip!17 -
I have a friend who started a company and I asked them for a job. He said he would intern me first before coming on as contractor.
He said he'd call me on Friday. I need this job so bad, he better hire me. -
Spent all day yesterday making an iMovie trailer as a pitch to try to encourage a company to hire me because their application page said cover letters were 1990s and you should do something different. And then I couldn’t just attach the thing to the application, so I ended up writing a cover letter and adding a “TLDR, a la movie trailer” and a link to the YouTube video. Let it not be said I didnae put effort into job searching.1
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The only bootcamps I have seen are the ones in companies that hire virtually everybody and think they can all train them on their own. Most of these companies do not exist anymore. So: I don't like bootcamps. The name alone is misleading and makes me wanna ....
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I decide to study Data Science the last 10 months, right now im very competent and have the skills get hands on real projects.
a few months ago i meet a guy on LinkedIn, i help him with some task for some stuff he was doing.
a few weeks ago he say he will hire me for work on an startup he is running with other guys.
after that he never get back to me and not get any response to my messages. i dont know what i do wrong.
now im here feeling cold and dont even know what todo for get some remote work as data scientist.
feels bad bruh :"( give me some directions, where to look for Remote Junior Data Scientist Job?9 -
A.I. Hacker. :P
Some big corps will hire me to hack the AI systems.
Option B: beach bum for life. And enjoy the low stress. -
3 years (since Sep 2016 til now) and counting. 0€.
Building my own project from scratch. IDK if this is the right thing for this week's topic, but it answers the question.
I do have my paid 9/5 tho. But the code I write after is my personal and it's not yet bringing me any moneros.
It seems it's gonna need at lest another year, so next Nov it'll be 4 years w/ 0€ :) Maybe even some -x€, since I'm horrible at design - will prolly have to hire someone to do it for me -
Best boss ?
Well, on Friday we learned our business was shutting down, bankruptcy.
Other new recruits have had a 10 days notice. My boss had me a 30 days notice instead, and have been fighting day and night since then to find a new investor to buy our solution and hire the team with it, comforting me that I will be part of that team.
Feelsgood to have a boss having your back :-)
(see previous rants for more)3 -
I was on vacation during spring break and was supposed to start on a contract-to-hire the following Tuesday. Towards the end of the week the recruiter tells me the company got delayed on paperwork because of accounting (no funds). Thankfully, my current job accepted me that week until I could start the new job. Friday of the week I got back they tell me I can start Monday. That evening my current job (startup) comes back with a solid counteroffer and here I am. If they would've taken me in after my vacation I wouldn't be at my current job.
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Soo I got my first email from a recruiter.. Subject: "Your Github profile " + accountname (of an account that i renamed 5 months ago which now gives a 404 btw). I'm 15 and my github profile doesnt have the "avaible for hive" Option checked. why exactly do you want to hire me again?2
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New dilemma. Now that I have some interviews lining up, I’m having trouble trying to figure out which direction I want to go. One is a company offering unlimited PTO (whatever that actually means), remote only, non-micromanaged work. If I want a nap in the middle of the day, cool. Just gotta make progress.
Another is in an industry that I really want to get into.
A third is with a major entertainment company that is contract to hire with a high probability of hire. Amazing perks and benefits from what my friends that work there tell me.
And it’s looking like maybe all three making an offer simultaneously is a possibility.
So I might need to choose between a comfortable situation, my ideal industry, and a big name on my resume that includes great benefits.
I should be happy but this is stressing me out!1 -
Ayy. It's time. Someone wants to hire me to make a site for them...
How much do I charge? 😭. They also said they want it as an exclusive design that I can't do for anyone else. It's one of my first proper ones so its basically my baby
But yeah. How much is appropriate?
Do bare in mind that I'm broke af 😂. Suggestions in GBP please6 -
I'm losing faith in my future right now!
I'm dying working for my current employer (read my last two rants) but no one wants to hire me and I'm not sure whether it's my skills, little experience or only halftime availability until I finish studies!
Also, while I'm at it, there are second to none game dev workplaces here, in Poznań (and working as a game dev is a dream <3).1 -
Hi, my manager is leaving soon. I’ve only been here for short of 2 years and I’ve been promoted once already. It has come time to hire another dev. My director asked me to think about what I want for my career and how to hire the right person. I don’t want to become a manager if that means to stop coding and building stuff. Any advice or experiences you guys have had with this? I’m supposed to have a catchup with my director and he told me to think about it, but I only can think in terms of Problem-Solution. Not in abstract strategic career positioning or team management etc.4
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HIRE A FUCKING QA AND GIVE TIME TO DEVELOPERS TO BUILD. DONT GIVE ME YOUR BULLSHIT ABOUT HOW THINGS ARE BREAKING.3
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New guy on my team keeps on saying "oops" and acts like a newb...
He's an experienced dev tho... Like 10yrs...
FML... HOW THE FUCK DID MY BOSS DECIDE TO HIRE HIM...
And then this afternoon I decided to look at internal mobility... all the postings (there were only a few even though we're supposed to be hiring like crazy this year) had descriptions that required experience in everything
Do you want me to move or not ...
"Things here are so much better than before" ... my ass... -
Wtf is ux researcher or design thinkers etc? Seems like bs jobs to me. Why not hire good frontend devs who has a good understanding of ux/ui?
Companies please pay devs well instead of wasting money on these bs roles and positions.8 -
I'm still a student, I'm attending my second year of university. Today I got what I could call a job offer. But tbh I'm not sure about that. The company that should hire me doesn't exist yet and I will work as a part-time employee until I finish the university. Idk I feel like I'm not suited for the job (I will work as Web Dev), like I'm not good enough even for a job that still doesn't exist. Yeah I'm shit2
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!rant
Question to the devs that hire.
Would you hire a developer with the qualifications:
- knows multiple programming languages (can be any but knows them well)
- has worked the past 6 years in the field however worked during his school life.
- started of career in web development and worked with high end clients, (big corps, businesses, celebs)
- does not have a CS or Engineering Degree (has a different degree that is remotely related)
- has failed his A Level exams (pre-college, high school board exams by Cambridge) (not that this matters)
Disclaimer: This is not about me. I was in an argument with my extended family about the importance of grade school education in work. My family consists of Teachers and School Administrators entirely. The above point all define me and I was successful enough to earn more than what my family does early on when joining college. I did however fail my alevels only to get a scholarship in a great University for my field.5 -
I went to an interview and they say they will call me within 2 week if I pass the first round of interview.
They don't call me so I assume I fail the interview and life went on.
I received the call today said I pass the first interview and if I wanted to come for second interview. My first thought is Fuck Off.
My acquaintance work for that company and we have a frank conversation. What is going on is that they are overwork and the other department complain that they don't have output from IT department.
When they ask IT department why don't produce output, head of IT department said they don't have enough people. HR department reluctantly allow them to hire more people and they phone me. My acquaintance apologize for the move that their company make. My acquaintance also said that he/she will also pass my decision to their department head.
I have meet everyone is that IT department whom I am going to work with and I like them. They are not only knowledgeable but also a nice person. More importantly they value the quality of work. They are the kind of person I like working with.
What I don't like is their HR department and they only call me when their departments work stale.
Here is my problem, I like the people I am going to work with but I don't like the company that they think I am kind of "backup". The company is the reputable company and it will be easier for me to find other job if I decided to quit and apply for other job.
I know the price range that they are willing to hire me due to first interview and the probing question I asked.
I was thinking of asking for salary outside their price range and think how it goes. If they are willing to hire me despite the ridiculous salary I asked , I may tolerant to work with them.
How do you think I should handle the situation?2 -
I switched from a full stack dev to quality assurance job because they offered me 2.5x my pay but now no company wants to hire me....and I really want to get into cloud now and eventually become a cloud developer, I am learning linux and have taken the AWS cloud practitioner essentials course but still not getting anything yet, any advice?
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So people are getting new jobs left and right, and there are several others looking for new jobs including me...
Well... now the CIO is following people around the office and watching them walk to their car and stuff. To me this just makes the situation worse.
If he's so worries about people leaving then why doesn't he hire people instead of trying drive everyone out? -
How do you guys hire people? I need to hire people for a big laravel project and I am not sure how to evaluate someone in just 30 min.
So please tell me about your hiring method.7 -
My parents told me that no one is going to hire me to be on the computer all day, get a job in high demand like nursing1
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any freelance dev doing java/spring projects out here who can hire me as junior dev? im a systems engineer and dev wanna be and wanna work it as a side hustle.4
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As a junior frontend dev should I rather work in a web agency or in a biggee company that needs a frontend dev for their software?
I would really like to join a web agency but it seems like only small agencies with shit conditions would hire me...1 -
whats that? where have you been phazor? gaming! i took a break off of coding! and went to play some games!
minecraft 1.17, muck, rust, farcry 5, ailen isolation, bioshock 1, 2 and infinite, even some geometry dash
after that i decided to come back and relearn html and css because if anyone who wanted to hire me i bet they would ask for a website first and see plain buttons and a depressing web page! -
I haven’t worked as a software developer since net didn’t suck. But I pay attention and I watch all these requirements that strike me as “worship some trendy technology until it dies or is revealed as utter crap and end up jobless” does anyone hire problem solvers anymore in an environment dedicated to ensuring they’re stimulated to succeed ?2
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are there sites where i can find expert devs , and like hire them for providing me resources on a particular topic?
I am not talking about freelancing sites where they charge mney for making a product. But rather a site, where i will hire a person providing me with their copyrighted/ "non copyrighted ,gathered from the internet" content for a topic that i will provide???
fuckkk, i am sick and tired of looking into google's sick ass half open sourced half proprietary content with jillions of classes and design patterns.5 -
Be me, a ret***
Already 3 months in a new position. (check my previous rant)
Storm have passed for a while but another storm is brewing.
C levels are having disagreement with each other.
Caught in the crossfire as one the of C's hire.
Have some chit chats with both side of C, each telling different stories.
C#1 told me there was a demand from C#2 to force tech guys (not defined who or how many) to resigns.
C#2 told me there is no plan to close the whole tech team. But there's a distrust brewing in the tech team especially on the C#1
Be me, C#1 hire...
Me telling them IDK what their real intentions are but there's a high probability for my reputation to be tarnished on the job Market.
I've always had good review amongst peers and confident I did and do a satisfactory job for my previous employer.
Be me:
Resorted to flexing my connection to high ranking (think of C suites) reference who I've worked and have good relations with.
Connected them to my C#2.
Dunno how the C#2 thinks of me and what my value to C#2 are.
Don't know what the future hold for me.
Tried doing one interview but topics of my reputation comes up because of me jumping to executive position without having "Manager" ever in my resume.
Got a bit too defensive on that and it might eff up my chance to have a backup ready in case I urgently need to jump ship.
Depression and impostor syndrome hits like a truck every day.2 -
Finally have an opportunity to move to back end department where I work but because I'm the only front end dev my chances are slim to none. And they refuse to hire anyone else. Does this mean they don't want me to grow?1
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Give me a job pls im starving. Im a ML Engineer, no ones want to hire me. I will be eternally grateful :/5
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I'm starting to reach the edge, the fucking company is refusing to hire more people because of "budget concerns", I am tired of doing all of the heavy lifting. Oh well it was a good run, have an interview on Friday and I'm so burned out I don't even feel like studying....wish me luck...1
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I need a CV for a small non important side job. Do i need a fancy shmancy CV or can i go with just the most important informations propely formated in a simple word document? I think simplicity is crutial. I have pretty high qualifications so they should hire me for that if nobodt better arrives.8
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