Random guy : Well I'm not tracked on the internet, I use private tabs.
Me : Well, I'm not sleeping with your mom, I use condoms

Dear unknown StackExchange random dude,

You don't know me, I don't know you, but, let's be honest : I came here to get answers, not to get my question fucking edited.

Regards,

Go fuck yourself

Random : Hey you're a programmer right?

Me : Yeah? *excited about possibilities*

Random : I am having troubles installing a game I downloaded. I've been trying for three weeks now.

Me : *sigh* OK, I'll have a look, but I can't guarantee I'll get it right.

*Spend about 10 seconds installing game.*

Random : How did you do that?

Me : I read the error message, it was pointing to the wrong file.

Random : You are a god man *calls wife* come look at this genius. *calls daughter* look at that *calls dog* this guy is so amazing.

I also now avoid Random, he had three hard drives, each with a different version of Windows installed, he totally screwed his bios, he admitted not having put thermal paste on his cpu. And he asked me to fix all of this whenever I have time.

I am not your computer fixer guy. Take It to the shop.

Dear dfox,

Thank you for not making your app completely change layouts and screw up scrolling whenever we turn on our sides when reading rants in bed, unlike nearly every mobile web browser out there. We all really appreciate it.

--Random devRanter

Coworker in my team recently said to boss:

"Thanks, this conversation with you has taught me so much about single-threaded blocking I/O"

Some random PR comments from our company's repository:

"Are you insured? I hope you are insured"

"Learning git is not that difficult. You only need one command: git reset --hard"

*Link to amazon for dog poop bags*
"Please clean up your shit, before I step in it"

"Have you thought about a career in sales? At least there you might sell your bullshit"

Interviewer: "Show me a cool side-project you have been working on!"

Me: "No! I do not have a cool side-project to show you! I work to pay the bills, and do other things in my spare time! Like go fishing, or play video games. Why the fuck are you assuming that I spend my weekends coding for fun!? Do you call random people asking them questions every Saturday and Sunday just for the LOLs of it?"

Sitting outside, in the park, sunny, warm, music, writing a new blog post for the security/privacy blog.

I actually love this 😊

Normal devRant user:

- Look, the algo it's awesome, it matches similar content posts, it's so funny!

Meanwhile at devRant Headquarters:

trogus: When are you telling them?
dfox: Ignorance is bliss, my friend
trogus: Well, at least we know the random number generator it's not coded by Sony though, otherwise they would suspect

My gf caught me unguarded after she told me that she has some updates for her webpage, right after I did the last updates. Massively amused. Not! 😅

> installs devRant app on my iPhone
> too lazy to type my 18-char random password on mobile
> password manager app not on App Store yet
> dig up my old Macbook
> install XCode & homebrew package manager
> install 2 other package managers using homebrew
> install App deps from the 2 package managers
> query stackoverflow for why my deps fail to install
> open App in XCode
> setup Apple provisioning profile
> trust my certificate on my iPhone
> dig up an old router & setup a local WiFi network
> start a server on my laptop to serve my PGP keys
> download my PGP keys to my iPhone
> app crashes
> open an issue on github with steps to reproduce & stacktrace
...
> type my 18-char random password
> rant on how I wasted an entire afternoon

The new Dutch mass surveillance law goes into action on the first of May. I'll of course have a good security setup ready but that does not stop the bulk data collection.

I just setup a website which (still in English at the moment) requests a random search result from bing, google or DuckDuckGo every 3 seconds.

Will work on making it more 'real' :)

If stopping the surveillance isn't an option, let's add more data to filter out for them!

HP Virtual Agent, you're about as useless as the fucking hardware that I'm troubleshooting. What part of fucking "Arch Linux" do you not understand?! Not everyone runs your fucking assumed OS choices - WanBLowS 7, 8 or 10. What's more, the hardware that I'm troubleshooting doesn't even support those bloody operating systems.

Long live HP and its random freezes due to poor thermal management. And long live Intel's fucking wireless drivers, that for no good reason disconnect after half an hour and require me to restart NetworkManager to (hopefully) get shit connected again. And long live those useless fucking "virtual assistants"!!!

Hey, wanna hear a disappointing stack?

- WordPress
- jQuery
- vanilla inline CSS
- shitty random legacy PHP

Disclaimer:
The author is NOT responsible nor liable for any injuries, mental health issues, sanitary problems, asexuality, crippling depression, triggered by this rant nor liable for any damaged walls, hurt animals or deaths.

I wrote an answer, in my exam, about the precedence of operators.

Took a random example: "3+4*6", and explained that "*" has higher precedence, so "4*6" would be executed first and so on.

Long story short, this was the last line in my answer:

"The answer is 27, not 42."

Dev: Why did you suddenly start adding random whitespace to the end of all of the files in your PRs?

Manager: IT’S NOT RANDOM!

Dev: ?

Manager: That’s a way I came up with for tracking my contributions. Every time I edit a file I add a line of whitespace at the bottom so it’s clear to everyone how much and how often I’ve contributed to the team. Although I haven’t been doing it this entire time so I had to make up for this by adding more to files that I *know* I’ve touched a bunch before. Just think! Especially with how big my PRs are compared to everyone else the tally of my contributions is going to get huge!

Dev: …

Project Manager: You used a hash/salt to encrypt the password in our customer database?

Me: Yes.

Project Manager: That's mean we will not be able to see the password?

Me: That's the whole point. Why would you want to see what password customer is choosing?

Project Manager: Change it. Use random encryption method.

I actually love Mr. Robot because at least they are trying to show the actual tools plus the codes that can be used to hack, not some kind of random console outputs that doesn't even make sense in the most of the tv series/ movies

Client: Extend string size for that URL field. I have to input a really large URL in there.

Me: Please show me the URL first.

Client: Here it is //randomurl.com/random-route/15363783?i=jfjfjfjjfjfjhf&shit=jfjfjkfkfkgjfjjhh74747jdjh&you=kfjfjbhgg779hdhhd&not=jfjhdh63737#fuckingKiddingMe

Me: You can leave the whole part after the question mark. Insert it like //randomurl.com/random-route/15363783

Client: Ok, great. Thanks.

#####

Me later checking the data inserted:

//randomurl.com/random-route

I hate humans.

Got some customers not paying their bills?
Play russian roulette with these projects on the prod. server:

# [ $[ $RANDOM % 6 ] == 0 ] && rm -rf /<path_to_project> || echo "*click*"

"Can you work on this ticket? It's kind of urgent."

-- "OK"

"And could you please not refactor? Just get this done."

-- "Why? What's the issue?"

"The logic is complex. We should not break it."

-- "Erm, that's what the tests are for. So yes, if the need arises, I'll refactor. The tests are my guidelines if the logic breaks or not."

There's a reason we create tests. So let's not hinder code base improvements by some random fear that stuff might break.

If breaks due to refactoring, we'll fix it by adding a valid test case during and then fixing the bug.

If my refactoring does not break the tests, I'll assume the code base is stable.

If your code is untested, then we have a complete different problem.

Wouldn't be amazing if we could charge like doctors?

User: good morning engie, just here for my checkup.
Engie: everything seems to be working perfectly with your laptop. That would be 70 bucks.

Not comparing professions just a random thought.

Whenever I feel bad, I go and help random people with their code.

I also randomly offer to help teach people Java so that they can learn best practice and perhaps not make the same small mistakes.

Such is life. My method of coping with sadness.

Please tell me I'm not the only lazy bastard that spends all week dreaming of the weekend to finally work on some personal projects and when it finally arrives as soon as I launch the IDE my motivation goes down to -100 and I spend the rest of the day watching random videos on YouTube as always dreaming of the next weekend to finish that awesome idea I had 5 years ago...

In IT-Class:

Random: Ey watcha doin?
Me: Programming. What else?
Random: Oh, you're such a nerd...
Me: Programming is fun! I really like it.
Random: Please don't say this is your hobby...
Me: It is.
Random: Bruuh... *goes away*

Why the fuck are you here, if you're not interested in programming???
I don't understand such people.

It would be really FUCKING great if NodeJS or mysql could give me a FUCKING shout or ERROR MESSAGE when one of the parameters I'm giving is not the RIGHT FUCKING DATA TYPE INSTEAD OF THROWING A RANDOM ERROR THAT DOESN'T INDICATE A WRONG MOTHERFUCKING DATA TYPE. Five FUCKING hours of debugging later.

Dude, for the hundredth time, stop leaving random chunks of commented out code all over the place in case we "need to find it easily later"...

This is literally the reason we use git.

No, I will not pass it in a code review. The same as last time. And the time before...

Dahhhhh

today i was very sleep deprived and i had an anxiety episode at work. that was the first time my coworkers saw me like that. they took me to a cafe, got me a pastry and kept chatting about random stuff while i calmed down. i felt vulnerable and ashamed for not keeping it together, but it was one of the nicest things anyone's ever done for me.

I just had the most bizarre experience of my life. I handed in my resignation letter today. About an hour later, the CEO comes and collects me, takes me into his office, and rants about me leaving and other random not even tangentially related bullshit. Accusing me of not believing in the company and not talking to him. I have no idea if I'm fired.

Random post on linkedin...

"Jack of all trades, master of none"

Being a generalist does not make you a master of none.

You are at a position to apply your diverse yet relevant experiences into a singular objective. This makes you strategic and holistic.

A jack of all trades, a master of integration.

Recently my company worked in project with a big international company which uses a crazy framework to build a part of there webpage. This framework only used random IDs and class names and not even different html elements. And to completely freak out all elements are positioned absolute and on every change the whole page go rendered.

When you start a new job as a Senior Developer, and start asking questions about the code, and you have these collections of conversations with other front-end people:

Exhibit 1:
Me: Ahh so I see the filtering and pagination is all done with Javascript in the front end...

Random dev: No, it's done with Angular.

Exhibit 2:
Me: I think we should add frontend pagination to this page. There will be too many elements on it if you're a customer with 2000 servers.

Random dev: Don't bother, there's no pagination in the API call... So that will not gain any performance.

Me: But it wouldn't take long to implement and it would improve the user experience, why would you want to show ALL the elements, when you have an option not to... Also, it WILL be a major performance hit, especially on mobile.

Random dev: People will use search anyway.

😥🔪

Also, there are no coding standards, every file looks different, and my opinion is being disregarded in everything, and I thought my last job was bad...

Seriously how are some people hired as front-enders?

Since I just took this job, I feel obligated to stay a couple of months... But hey, don't cry for me, I might have more rants for you. 😂

Sorry for the long rant, here's cake: 🍰

Can we, please, put some substance into our rants? Over the course of the last weeks the amount of rants of the type "%NAME% %SWEARWORDS%" has increased tremendously. You want tell everyone that (for example) Windows can go fuck itself? Great. But why? What is the story behind you're enragement?

Please make this place more fun to browse by sharing stories. Not just a random amount of names and swearwords.

*is expecting guests and while waiting his coding*

*Bell rings*

ME: Hey Gradma Grandpa welcome.

Grandpa: Here's my phone fix my storage and install FB Messenger for me

AT LEAST FOR GOD SAKE SAY HI TO ME. IM YOUR NEPHEW FOR GOD SAKE NOT SOME RANDOM HUMAN BEING.

Life of Boris, a youtube chanel of a slav guy that makes random stuff (and some delicious russian recipes 😋) uploaded this video few hours ago.

I watched it, and I didn’t expect the video to be an actual Python tutorial 😂 I loved it!

What do you think?

P.D. I hope this is not necessary, but I remind you that Life of Boris is not a programming channel, please don’t be too strict, it’s just entretainment

I reached a point where I'll be happily working as the kid who serves coffee and tea to random strangers and not work at a company, as a freelancer OR WITH FUCKING HUMANS!

I'm out !!

What a rewarding weekend!

Not once did I touch my laptop :)

Sorry, that was meant for RANDOM.. My bad

Just heard at the coffee machine: "Well, does that mean I'm not allowed to use Trump's quotes to seed the random numbers generator?"

I kid you not, one of my designer friends dipped his toes into coding, he ran into a problem...

Wondered why the following function wasn't returning a random number...

public Int getRandomNumber(){
return 4;
}

#facePalm #stickToDesigning

Indian Programmer Woes 1:

Random Guy: hey you're a CS engineer right?
Me: yeah.....
RG: then can you hack the Facebook profile of my crush?
Me: ughhh.....No....
RG: then you're not a CS engineer.
Me: :/

I really like the attention to detail Microsoft has put in their websites, they've replicated every aspect of Windows.
Not only the loading animations, the style of the UI, but also the random freezes and crashes.

OH FOR HEAVENS SAKE!!!

*I* take care of my food in the department fridge, *NOT* you!

And start to fucking realize:
IT IS CALLED: "Best Before End"
and ABSOLUTELY FUCKING NOT: "Guaranteed To Be Deadly From"

Next time you throw away my perfectly fine food, I'll dig into the reflog, throw a dice and throw away 3 random commits of yours claiming that THEY EXPIRED!
YOU ARSE!

Do not disturb must be the most beautiful, underated and underused feature ever.

End of year company party with 1200 employees. CEO is singing on stage with dinner buffet.
And I don't know what to do, with so many people. If i sit alone on a couch it is not ok. But sitting next to random strangers is also not ok. I hate such situations. How do you deal with this?

There is a function for creating random numbers.
So with the same inputs , I must get the same output.
So it is somewhat predictable.
So it is not actually random!

Am I tight?

I'm just leave that here.

Making ciri from the witcher upcoming tv series a black asian minority ( although she has has elf blood . Elfs are white not black ).

Master/slave controversy.

Introducing random gay movie scenes just for the sake of diversity.

What's next ? Making a documentary about linus torvalds with him being a black asian gay feminist ?

"Not enough random bytes available". Whaaat? How? I don't uderstand?

Spammer just called me saying my windows computer was hacked and that I needed his assistance, I agreed and let him download free malware remover tool and other random shit, apparently the terminal commands were not working so he asked what version of Windows I was on, I said XP, and he continued and gave up on the terminal. tried to ruin whatever malware he put on the thing, finally he went to find what version I was running, and found out I was on Linux.

What is with the +1 chasing in here? Votes should be given for good rants and comments, not to climb the count-ladder if that somehow would make you elite community member. Posting a picture you found elsewhere just to earn free stickers or a stress ball, and pollute the incentive the swag were meant for originally.

Stop mass +1'ing some random guys every comment, and earn the votes by contributing with stories, lessons learned, proper rants and supportive comments.

I bumped into my PC early this morning, and it took me 12 hours to realize that 3 out of 4 RAM sticks were chilling on top of my graphics card... together with the CPU cooler.

I'm not sure whether I should be amazed that it kept running (with a few random reboots) with just a crusty chunk of thermal paste as a cooling block, or worried about how fried my hardware is now.

Amazon: you're logged into 53 devices.

Me: ooooh Kay, since when do I have that many devices. let's sign out of em all and change the password for some piece of mind.

Spongebob: * a few hours past *

Spam email: someone in the US has logged into your account - click here to verify through some random URL that doesn't even contain "Amazon" in it 🥳

-

I suddenly have that feeling Amazon sells you're account setting changes and not just your personal details.

I'm curious, is email campaigns such as 'constant contact' part of a devs job? new job wants me to be in charge of this and I could not think of a worse job I would like to do.

I don't even check my own email!
I hate social media and suck at posting anything besides random useless memes.

REALLY??! Email campaign????

Mom: what is it you do exactly?

Me: I make web sites and test computers for bugs.

Mom: What is a bug?

Me: it is when a program does something you do not want it to do.

Mom: k, I don't understand how money is made in that. But, you know (random store) is hiring.

My dad thinks I write a hundred characters which seem like an alien language a minute. My mum thinks I'm just 1 click away from hacking Pentagon. My step-dad, someone who knows computers a tad, knows I'm just typing random stuff hoping it works and he knows for sure I do not have a clue how it works.

So Adobe is actually not a random name

So I just wanted to log back into windows. Typed in the password. Wrong password...
Then I tried being super accurate while typing and also checked keyboard layout, etc. Still, wrong password.
Then I noticed that the letter p is not working. Shit, keyboard seems to be broken.
On screen keyboard -> p is not working...

What the hell? What kind of error is this?

NT Kernel code has to be something like this:
if(timeSinceLastError > someValue)
keyboard.p.enable = false;

I guess you could also replace the keyboard error with some random error.

If you encounter this, restart Windows.

Wow, I'm going to have a hard time remembering this one.

IT have changed after so many years the password criteria for our machines, to the point it's a bit ridiculous.

Like I'm all for securing your accounts and using random passwords but, this is rough.

Minimum of 14 chars
Not the past 6 passwords
Must contain several %}*]=[^{
Must contains numbers
Must contain upper case letters
Must contain Lower case letters
Must not end in a number
Must sacrifice a virgin on every login
Must be changed every 30 days

When I am telling non-tech people that I am studying Software Engineering:

They: What do you study at university?
Me: Software Engineering
They: Oh, so you're an engineer! My *some random person* is also an engineer!
Me: No, not that kind of engineer. I am a SOFTWARE engineer. I don't build things.
They: huh?
Me: I write code. Programs. For computers. I a programmer.
They: oh, great, very perspective! Will you fix my *PC/printer/whatever has on/off button on it*?

😶😶😶

Just a random thought.
If you are going to remove the headphone jack in phones because your goal is to make it slimmer, we'll why not put two USB c ports? One for charging and other actions, one for other actions only

Put random text in window.alert() where ever I got error in JavaScript code. Random text like 1) If you see this, you are fucked; 2) error 001; 3)why today; 4) the code is breaking here etc.

And never removed them. They are the running in production till now. I am just thankful to the gods that the code Nevers break and the user does not get browser alert and also the fact that I don't work there anymore.

Anyone else get extreme excitement/anxiety when you overhear random strangers discussing dev and nerd stuff, while you're sitting there trying really hard not to eavesdrop and join in?

My wife's phone started having power button issues. Then it broke completely with spastic random presses, causing the phone to boot loop. It's a 3 year old Nexus 5 so I was mostly concerned with backing things up, not rescuing it.

Cleaning didn't work, tapping the switch didn't work. This hack worked.

Backup complete.

I hate it when my manager lurks around when i am debugging and keeps giving random unsolicited advices. I spend more time explaining him why what he is saying does not make any sense than debugging.

I love going to random websites only to see a "____ would like to send you notifications".

Sure, why wouldn't I?! It's not like I'm only gonna be here once.

Sitting at work listening to music, doing absolutely fuck all right now because I ain't got no tickets! All the mfers need to answer me before I can work on their stuff.

Sounds great, no?

It's not. It's hell being unable to do work for me. I need to busy myself with doing random shit so I don't go insane.

Mhh, coffee...

Oh, by the way, Sir Jav'alot is still around too.

Have interview in 1 hour
*Quacking calmly*

Tests webcam, mic, connection
*Quacking softer*

Open meeting app to set everything up
Windows: I think not. Pereificus Totalus!!
*Quacking intensifies*

Why do companies use these random new wave of meeting apps instead of the tried and true ones!!

When someone tell u that your code is not OO enough, then you start creating random classes.

A project I'm working on uses Elastic for internal monitoring and logs. The customer asked to access those logs - not something we'd normally do, but it's isolated from other things we use and there's no critical data there, so what the heck, let them have it.

Ever since, we're getting tons of questions like "There are tons of [insert random info message] all the time, do you have any plans to resolve them?" and it gets to the point where I'm just about ready to scream back "NO, SUZAN, BOOKING NOT COMPLETED MANS THE USER F###ING CANCELLED IT, IT'S NOT SOMETHING I CAN FIX IN THE CODE"

Edit: the customer's name isn't actually Suzan

Today a tester asked me to make a modal smaller. I read the code and saw modal size was explicitly set to "large". So I was about to set its size to default but I asked myself "what if I enter a random string there?" and I set it to "not-so-big". UI framework handled it well and actually set its size to default. I'm keeping the code that way for future laughters.

Tiny little line of random JS code.
"No Comments in the code"
Me: I think this is not required, let me remove it.
"Deletes the line..."
*Entire App Breaks*
Me: OK, It must be important.
"Cmd + Z"
*Plot twist: The APP is still broken*

Guess who just needs to stay up late in office.

Working as a software engineer but: co-workers randomly walk into my office to ask me <<insert random IT problem (i.e. mouse not working etc.)>> while I'm deeply focused programming. Trying to close my office door results in co-workers backbiting...

Why can't they just go to the IT administrator who's work it is to handle their fucking problems?

A classmate's earphones once stopped working, I went to go look at it. After a bit of tinkering, I said, "The speakers on these are toast, you'll need a new pair." Then, some random kid grabbed the tablet mind you, and not the earphones, played in the settings, and said "Fixed." I then told them, "This is a hardware issue, not a software issue." What's worse? Some people said "So, software and hardware are the same thing."
Mississippi is just full of computer Illiterates.

!rant

Monday morning panic...the dreaded question.

Random office colleague: "Do anything fun over the weekend?"

Me internally: Fuck...what did I do? Did I do anything at all? I mowed the yard...played video games...spent 3 hours looking at some random open source package I gave up trying to compile. All that is boring though. Was there nothing exciting I can brag about? Fuck...oh wait. I went to a huge theme park Saturday. Yeah that's cool enough to mention!

Me: "No not really"

I wrote a random string/int/other stuff API somewhere this year which I still regularly use because I'm a lazy fuck.

Never posted anything about it on here and the documentation isn't entirely complete (and not all the endpoints are extensively bug-tested yet) but if someone is interested I'll see if I can patch some stuff and put it on here as I find it useful!

This is random stuff.
I wonder what would happen if an innocent new user unknowingly reports a rant written by @dfox or by @trogus themselves.🤔
Maybe a beautiful post or maybe a nice email like
"Dear @... you might not have realized but @trogus and @dfox are the creators of devRant"

My company employed a new back-end guy from a random country in Africa (our first non-european). After firing the internal IT guy a year ago, they have now noticed that he has fully protected our company from login attempts outside of europe. The replacement has no idea how to revert it and honestly is not an system administrator.

Our DevOps guy knows how to solve it but nobody asked him and he cannot be arsed.

If you ever get a problem with your Linux,
DO NOT EVER try out an answer on any random forum without reading all the comments/replies.
The problem spreads like a freaking wildfire and you will end up reinstalling Linux and losing data what wasn't backed up. (If by God's grace, you do a regular back up)

Have you ever been pair coding with someone who uses shotgun debugging? I am about to claw my eyes out! What is shotgun debugging you ask?
Code doesn't work... What do we do?
I start thinking about possible flow, how to go back to what works, where to insert debugging statements. My partner interrupts my thought and says - what if we change this variable name?
...uh what?
What if that fixes it
It won't!
Well how do you know if you don't try?
I change the variable name - of course nothing works and now I forgot the possible solution I was thinking about...
Starting over... I again start coming close to the idea... Interrupts me again. What if we comment out this random line?
Why what's your reasoning?
Answer: *Shrug* idk might work...
...rinse and repeat
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU???!
I literally started muting my computer sound so I can not hear him while I think and that helps tremendously. This is programming not magic, people!!! Stop throwing random "what if" suggestions!

WTF Woke up this morning and found my email used to register to a website called fiverr.com!!

What is even worse is that at the end of the email where they have that section of: this email was sent to ..., the name is random letters

Even more ironic that website does not allow access from Lebanon ....

I think it is time to change my email, been getting a lot of spam into my inbox lately, though Gmail has a good spam filter :\

I'll be honest, I've never understood why people say that numbers generated by a computer are pseudorandom and not random.
I know a lot of algorithms for number generation, and I implemented mine, based on time of invokation expressed in nanoseconds, taking digits, manipulating and transforming them. Then I analyzed the probability distribution and it's absolutely flat. So, if you know the Touring test, we can use a modified version of it. If I give you a sequence of random numbers generated by a computer and I give you a sequence of random numbers invented by a person, and you can't notice the difference, so the test is passed.
What's wrong on it?

I FUCKING HATE THE INSTAGRAM ALGORITHM FOR SUGGESTED POSTS TO EXPLORE.

You piece of shit; I have NEVER EVER looked at pictures of nature, but I get a shit load of suggested pictures of nature. Can't forget the time they spammed it with memes in a random language I can't read.

OH. AND LETS NOT FORGET YOUR TIMELINE ALGO. IT'S JUST AS SHITTY.

"Hmm. Let him see a picture posted a few minutes ago or one from a week ago? Fuck it, a week ago it is!"

Fuck this completely abysmal CMS!!!!
Not even god damn Einstein would be smart enough to understand this stinky pile of legacy code!
No, it's not enough to write an HTML template in PHP with less than 500 lines of code, noooooo, every god damn template HAS TO BE AT LEAST 3000 FUCKING LINES OF CODE WITH RANDOM INCLUDES EVERYWHERE!!!
Every fucking thing I fix spawns at least 2 new bugs! I FUCKING CAN'T!!!
I swear, if I meet these fucking worms of developers... someone will eat fresh turds mixed with puke from a highway toilet!

Got postblocked on Facebook for saying a certain video (which shows useless "self-defense techniques") is the cause people are trash at hand to hand combat :D

30 days of not telling random people they are idiots, FML

that moment when you were still new to git commands and just typed in random commands while thinking of a stupid dog meme saying I have no idea what im doing then accidentally pushing something in prod and had no idea what to do cause the lead dev was not around... aahhh those were the days

[random article] - interesting TITLE.

Click.
checks scroll bar - not much
Quick read.

read
read
read..

hmmm

read
read
read

hmm seems forever that i'm reading.
something's not right

check
check
chek m**F8d8fd , it loading a freaking 3000 words article with ajax.

Random guy at work pushed this to production today...

var i = 0;
do { // DO NOT DELETE THIS! }
while (i < 1);
....
doImportantThing();

And my boss keeps saying code reviews are overrated, lol.

In other news, I have been forbidden by my boss to implement any security or performance improvements into the company infrastructure as this holds no business value. Furthermore, passwords are not to be a random alphanumeric+special-chars string but something legible.

A story about RAM and being... well... not so clever...

I've built a mid-range gaming PC for a friend, based on skylake, with 8GB DDR4 RAM. So I filled up only 2 slots to leave 2 more for upgrade. So he decided to do so.
Later he calls me and says "Hey, can you visit me? My PC won't boot".
So I came and he told me what happened: he found a random RAM stick and decited to put it in. He somehow(wait for it) managed to do it and PC refused to boot. He removed this stick, but PC won't boot anyway.
Soo, when I came, he showed me a stick he found: a random ddr2-533mhz 512 mb stick. Ofc, MB was shocked to see "grandfather" and refused to boot. I looked at the post code, which said ram error, cleared the cmos and it booted just fine.

Check compatability, young builders, and use Google if you're unsure :)

My senior just created this beauty of an API...

Mixing undefined/null values with empty strings & random hyphens for other variables. And the phone number not following standarised notation (we are a telephone provider)

!rant

So me and my co-worker are allways joking about how many absourd JS-Libaries are out there. We say random words with "JS" at the end.

We are currently experiencing, that this on going joke is not a fucking joke. It's true!

(Example below, with Quack/DuckJS)

I sign the lease to my first apartment in just a few weeks!

I'd like to say thanks to the US government for allowing me to go in debt so I can live independently and not be forced to live with a random person in a dorm on campus.

Motherfucking stupid windows 10.

Wanted to try out cortana with all features after disabling it via regedit.
So naturally I created a Microsoft account and linked my user to it. Of course I used a random password generator and saved it in a passwort vault.
Then an update happened, I restarted my computer and guess what this stupid piece of SHIT garbage software did?
It prompted me to enter my password. Not the password I had for my local user BUT THE MOTHERFUCKING 15-DIGIT RANDOM PASSWORT GENERATED AND NOT EVEN VIEWED ONCE FUCKING SHIT!!!
Did they even ask if I wanted that? No they fucking didn't. Did they WARN ME? NO. NO THEY FUCKING DIDN'T.

That's the last straw. I'll kick windows down the garbage bin where it belongs and programm my own AI with open source software.

So recently I completed side gig from random freelancing site where I had to shadow troubleshoot performance problems over teams call with random Indian guy on his client's AWS account. Long story short you can autoscale new instances all you want but it's not gonna help if your FIFO sqs has only one message group ID. This architecture is running an online game, which is basically limited to processing ONE event at the same time for ALL players xD
What's even better, basing on naming convention I realized it's a company that I interviewed for like 4 months ago and they told me "we need someone with more experience". Well good luck, thanks for quick cash

My biggest distraction at coding are my parents.

I still live in there house and it's really comfy.

But whenever I code the always come into my room with something random like "my phone is not working" or "how can I delete this?"

I love my parents and Im glad that I can help but always get off where I was after 😂

My goal was to hack the game to increment a random byte of memory every frame if SELECT was pressed. Mission accomplished!
(Done with ASM hacks, not recompiling from the pokeblue disasm)

!Rant

I have not slept in 28 hours.

I discovered Quantum computing, pubo and simulators.

I FEEL it can solve my business problem, but it is fucking time consuming to write this code. (In a good way).

I do not need sleep at this point, I need answers!

Anyone with good links to either pubo examples or a useful quantum algorithm, I’ll take it ! (not the random number… I have already run that on a real QPU 9Still no idea how much that run cost in $)!)

Hmm. So have you ever argued in a job interview? Like really standing your ground? In a technical interview?

Today I had a live coding session with a company I'm interested in. The developer was giving me tasks to evolve the feature on and on.

Everything was TDD. Splendid!

However at one point I had to test if the outcome of the method call is random. What I did is basically:
```
Provider<String> provider = new SomeProvider("aaa", "bbb", "ccc", "ddd", "eee", "fff")

for(int i=0; i<100; i++) {
String str = provider.get();
map.put(str, incrementCount(str));
}
Set<Integer> occurences = new HashSet(map.values());
occurences.removeIf(o -> o.equals(occurences.get(0)));
assertFalse(occurences.empty());
```
and I called it good enough, since I cannot verify true randomness.
But the dev argued that this is not enough and I must verify whether the output is truly random or not, and the output (considering the provider only has a finite set of values to return) occurences are almost equal (i.e. the deviation from median is the median itself).

I argued this is not possible and it beats the core principle of randomness -- non-determinism. Since if you can reliably test whether the sequence is truly random you must have an algorithm which determines what value can or cannot be next in the sequence. Which means determinism. And that the (P)RNG is then flawed. The best you can do is to test whether randomness is "good enough" for your use case.

We were arguing and he eventually said "alright, let's call it a good enough solution, since we're short on time".

I wonder whether this will have adverse effect my evaluation . So have you ever argued with your interviewer? Did it turn out to the better or to the worse?

But more importantly, was I right? :D

Now I see why people think "medium" is trashy...
Medium writer: [writes 2 mins-read-article with 6 unrelated gifs on how to implement an extension to a framework.]
Random user: [ uses guidance from post to implement the solution, but was met with errors]
Random user: I have used this your guidance and another but...[ random user paste error]
Medium writer: I am not sure, ... I haven't been working.
like serious, you shouldn't write an article of something you don't know about dude!
.

Got an email today from a random person asking for help on using a thing I have in GitHub. Even though it's not at all a big deal, made me feel so proud :)

On the other hand, every day I work on software responsible for thousands of people a day (not a big deal, but still something that affects thousands per day) and I feel meh about that...

Brains are weird :)

"Did you manage to reproduce this issue in-house?"

Yes, off course we managed to reproduce your fucking random reboot issue that happen to two in thousand customers and might happend just after boot of after several hours or days or not at all when you, as you said yourself, were doing nothing. While at it we also turned lead to gold, water to wine and resurected Elvis (although he is a little bit grumpy and mumbles something about brains).

My boss did not care about making things secure in our early development stage, even though I told him several times.
After 1 day our elastic search cluster was filled with random crappy data.

Fix: Apply security schemes provided by AWS

When your new build is compiling and just scooting right along so you think... sure, I could go for some food. No. Nope. Not even. It chooses the exact moment you leave to nope the fuck out completely with the most random compiler errors that you would have never seen had you just been sitting there in the chair. It's like it knows. Maybe next time I leave I'll promise to bring it back a taco.

Sorry, boss. You can either have me friendly/sociable at work or pass a random. Not both.

I have an uncanny ability to--in the middle of coding--open a tab on the browser and type just about anything on the search bar and go on to what I am starting to call a "link binge".

I pretty much bounce around the internet reading about random (not even useful, always) shit and end up wasting hours.

Not planning ahead, just start at some point, adding just a tiny little feature after another, and then wondering why your to do app (just to check out a new framework or language) suddenly comes with Blockchain, a chatbot and a machine learning algorithm that (slowly) learns when the best time to show random cat videos is...

About a year ago a co-scout gave me: an FM radio, a CD cover, tape and some other random bits, and proceded to say.

c-s: Build a metaldetector from this, I don't know how.

me: wat?

c-s: You know computers, right?

me: Yes, but that is not "computers".

c-s: How hard can it be? We need a guide on how to do it in a couple of hours. Good luck.

I love Nvidia's apathetic attitude to Linux support. It makes it so much more economical for me every time I need to upgrade my GPU - the mid-upper tier previous generation cards are always available for around the same price as a lower tier current generation card. There is no buyers remorse when the only things I'm missing out on by not going bleeding edge are kernel panics and random reboots.

Fucking search bars. It seems like no one is interested in making search on their website actually work. It always gives me some random shit all while missing relevant results I can find myself by scrolling through menus. It’ll miss stuff even while searching the exact subtext. Every. Single. Time.
If it’s not an open source library’s docs with Algolia, you can forget about their search bar.

Who books meetings on Friday afternoons?
Isn't that against the Geneva convention?

Random rant: You should always look for a new job, even after landing a good(seemingly) one. It keeps you on edge and synchronized with the market.

Employers also should not shun people who are looking for new job, if they somehow find out. A developer who looks for a job, gets offer but decide to stay is better than who lost his/her/xir fire.

At a previous job, boss & owner of company would waste hours of my time to show me, at his own desk, every small detail of some random feature he had fallen in love with on some random webpage he found, while saying "I don't want to disrupt your plans or anything, this is just something to keep in the back of your minds, as this would be a really nice thing to have, even tho none of the clients have asked for this and I have asked no one else for a second opinion, and I will most likely ask you to remove this feature in the future because I will finally have realized it wasn't that good an idea anyway."

Ok dipshit, what the fuck are we supposed to do with this information? Every week from this moment on you will ask whether we have found the time to implement this feature, even though you are fully aware that our schedule has no room for random, unplanned features and that we are already not able to meet the unreasonable deadline you pulled out of your ass two weeks into a development process that would end up taking 8+ months.

We are already overworked, we already work hours upon hours of unpaid overtime, and yet you still think it reasonable to pull us away from our work every other fucking day to talk about random extra features you want added, but don't want added to the roadmap because you want no delays... Fuck you, fuck your toxic attitude, fuck your meetings where you spend half an hour complaining about features we are still in the process of developing the backend functionality for (on test servers) not having the right font colour for the text, and fuck your legacy desktop software originally written in COBOL that you now want moved to "the cloud".

I would rather be unemployed and live as a hobo on the streets with a "will code for food" sign than work for you ever again.

Made a change.
Patched some files.
Ran the app.
App not working as intended.
Freak out.
Check code.
Think of random solution.

Waste an hour.

Realise that files weren't patched properly.
Kick myself in the head.

So you heard from that awesome tool that apparantly everybody uses.

Go to the web page:
One single continuous page in 90ies style with random blahblah targetting expert users and various edge cases without context. Some lines about arcane build commands in an unfamiliar language.

Not even a single, comprehensive line, what it does, what it is good for, no minimal example or hint even how to run it.

So you write thousands of lines of dense code, but are not able to drop some first lines of plain, understandable english for people just visiting the first time? How hard could it be? Fuck you, srsly.

Nice a random neighbour has my new monitor and he seems to be there but does not open their door.

FML

People that comment random subreddits on platforms other than reddit, such as r/whoosh, are the bottom feeders of comedy and are definitely mouth breathers. Probably have a smooth brain too.

That shit's lame asf and not funny at all.

!rant

Need help. Just realized that I have been responding to every interaction I have had lately in a negative way. Not sure what's going on, but I just seem to always respond with a negative response. I consider myself a critical thinker, and a devil's advocate. From a previous comment on this site, to a random facebook post of someone sharing an animal rights post. I usually just ignore them and move on, but I ended up responding with poor intention.

Today i was trying to solve a problem on my graphs algorithm (find the shortest path) but i was not able to do almost anything, so i asked for help to a friend.

He started to try to help me, but after a long reasoning we both stopped to understand what we were doing.

After a while, i've decided to run the code totally random and... it worked! And that's not all, it worked better than we were trying to do!

What a lucky shot😎
(Sorry if there are some errors, english isn't my first language)

😒 I just found a new method of how to stay awake throughout the night without sleeping.... No coffee required

.. By 10pm
Start a project and name dictionary.py
On visual studio make sure you are not using internet because this is an exam and cheating ain't allowed..

Now start coding until it fully functioning and can generate random words out of predictions...

😩 Feel free to hate me after trying that

Dear random blog/news website,

Why do you equate a random visit via a Google search to wanting you to bombard me with notifications? What is wrong with at least waiting for frequent or multiple repeat visits before asking for notification access?

As shocking as this may be to you, most of us are not desperate for content from random, virtually-nameless websites/blogs. If that is you, please seek professional help.

In fact, please seek professional help anyway.

Sincerely,

Virtually every visitor your website will ever have

Random thought:
I rarely see emojis on devrant and most of the time I see them, they are used in a rather cringe-full way. There are some posts however, which use emojis in a way I like, for example to replace the client's name.

But my favorite emoji is still the shrug emoji, not the Unicode shrug emoji, but the *real* shrug emoji. ¯\_( ツ)_/¯

Man, making scripts for random shitty tasks is so god damn nice. Like pushing a new version in a repo. Throw together a script to find metadata and kubernetes files and identifies and update versions automatically, then commit, tag and push. Simple script, not even 100 lines of bash, but saves so many silly mistakes.

My bookmark bar has a random entry for "Clam Poisoning" , between all the Amazon Web Services and Ruby entries. I'm not sure who put it there? It wasn't my wife or I. Should I be worried? Should I avoid all the shellfish for a while?

>has idea for project (creating a watchface for my watch)
>downloads SDK
>finds out only Eclipse is supported
>Tries to go the CLI way
>Can't find a way to setup a new project without Eclipse
>Finds a boilerplate
>Gets random unexplainable, undocumented errors
>"Well, guess that's another idea that will not workout due to the incompetency of others"

So I work for a store that sells audio and video equipment. My boss asked me to find old stock that is in our system but not on our site.

We have an event at one of our stores in a week. I made a simple quiz - where people can fill out there email and win... something.

So going through the old stock we found something random, and my boss had the "great" idea to use that as the price for the quiz.

Guess what it is...

nah you won't

ITS A FUCKING TEAPOT.... I AM NOT KIDDING YOU - our audio video store is giving away a teapot as a price!?!?

Why do tech impaired people always break their tech and they have "no idea" how it broke...
Seriously? What did you do? You know what you were doing? Were you touching random setting again? For fuck sakes just tell me. You've fucking it up 3 times this week already it's not like I don't know your an incompetent prick.

The best/worst code comments you have ever seen?

Mine:

//Upload didn't work, have to react:
system.println('no result');

//$Message gives out a message in the compiler log.
{$Message Hint 'Feed the cat'}

//Not really needed

//Closed source - Why even comments?

//Looks like bullshit, but it has to be done this way.

//This one's really fucked up.

//If it crashes, click again.

asm JMP START end; //because no goto XP

catch {
//shit happens
}

//OMG!!! And this works???

asm
...
mov [0], 0 //uh, maybe there is a better way of throw an exception
...
mov [0], 0 //still a strange way to notify of an error

// this makes it exiting -- in other words: unstable !!!!!

//Paranoic - can't happen, but I trust no one.

else {
//please no -.-
sleep(0);
}

//wuppdi

for (int i = random(500); i < 1000 + random(500 + random(250)); i++)
{
// Do crap, so its harder to decompile
}

//This job would be great if it wasn't for the f**king customers.

//TODO: place this peace of code somewhere else...

// Beware of bugs in the code above; I have only proved it correct, not tried it.

{$IFDEF VER93}
//Good luck
{$DEFINE VER9x}
{$ENDIF}

//THIS SHIT IS LEAKING! SOMEONE FIX IT! :)

/* no comment */

Saw @Linuxxx sad cuz his name was not among @BroCow porn tags.
So I figured I'd rant to include his name with triple xxx in rant.

Oh on a side node..
How's things going, @Ashkin?
Bad Trifecta still got ye down? :/..

@netikras
not sure why, but you tend to appear on google search "devrant". i thought it was a random user each time when i first saw it... tried on different devices/ips... 80% of them, you showed up.

are you aware of this?
anyone else have similar, or totally different, insight on this?

though it was different IPs, i should mention that they were all on the same subnet... not local, public IPv4 /28 subnet

I'm looking for a kind of "lorem ipsum" but not for text, for code. Some kind of random code generator with configurable language to test code rendering, compare programming fonts, etc. Any suggestions?

Dealing with a Salesforce (what else,heh) bug that caused batch payment requests to be fired off at seemingly random intervals. Pretty big consequences to that one.

Of course, the problem is that no-one assumes it's a Salesforce bug, and you have to spend an eternity proving that it's not your fault...

I love my job. Minus that 1 stupid guy who I don't understand how he was hired. And minus one of the managers messaging me after hours to do work. Everyone else is alright, need to find a way to hide from that manager and work on projects exclusively with other managers D:

Anyone else ever felt like hiding from management? Lol

Remember about this project of mine? Maybe not because I deleted the rant, but after a long pause I re-started working on it. In -just- 1 hour I wrote this code that picks a random number, goes from 0 to 5 and, if found, it prints the match.
This is my most (useless && senseless) project by far.

[Hardware geeks, microcontroller geeks, please come]

Yet another Hacktoberfest tshirt...

Gotcha? (I bet you know who I am)

Just kidding. Just a random project idea I am not sure if it is possible to make from scratch.

It is essentially a usb external storage
About 32gb

And has a lcd that shows available storage space

And some buttons to play snake. (Yup)

Is it possible?

What should I expect when creating from scratch? (Microcontroller, c language, interfaces, etc)

compile with gcc, ./a.out: "Segmentation fault (core dumped)"

compile with clang, ./a.out: runs and fails.

compile with cc, ./a.out: Alternated between "Error: Too many arguments" and "Segmentation fault"...

ffs I'm done for the week I guess.
The problem is not that it fails, the problem is that it alternates because of time of compilation, power consumption, random blody oracles or the phase of the moon in a leap year on a Friday the 13th. God.Please.Send.~Nudes~. Help.

MTP is complete garbage. I want mass storage back.

The media transfer protocol (MTP) occasionally discovers new creative ways of failure. Frequently, directory listings take minutes to load or fail to load at all, and it freezes up infinitely (until disconnected) when renaming an item, and I can not even do two things simultaneously.

While files are being moved, I can not browse pictures or watch videos from the smartphone.

Sometimes, files are listed with the date 1970-01-01 (Unix epoch) instead of their correct date. Sometimes, files do not appear at all, which makes it unsafe to move directories from the device.

MTP lacks random access. If I want to play a two-gigabyte 4K 2160p video and seek in the video, guess what: I need to copy it to my computer's local mass storage first because MTP lacks random access.

When transferring high numbers of files, MTP has to slooooowly enumerate (or "prepare" or "calculate the time of") them all, which might even take longer than mass storage would need for the entire process. This means MTP might start copying or moving the actual files when mass storage is already finished.

Today, the "preparing to move" process was especially slow: five minutes for around 150 files! How am I supposed to find out what caused this random malfunction?

MTP sometimes drives me insane. I want mass storage back, at least for the MicroSD memory card, which uses a widely supported file system.

Imagine a 2010 $100 Android phone is better at file transfer than a 2022 $1000 Android phone (or iPhone, for that matter).

Fuck azure. Not even 2 hours in and this is the biggest bullshit I've seen. So fucking overcomplicated just to sign in and use the azure portal. Keep getting bombarded with random error messages when i try to create any fucking resource. Some tenant error no idea what that shit is. Annoying as fucjk

I had a random thought yesterday.
I was thinking about a computer virus that's been influenced by AI (machine learning).
If we would train a model specifically for such a purpose, how massive would its impact be on the Internet and how effectively could it change the world's direction (not the physical rotation lmao)?

Well... This look's fine...

(This is supposed to be my dev terminal not some twat mix of random colours...)

Sitting with two of my friends

Me: You ever get a random eye ache? But like you actual eye not like that migraine behind it

Friend 1: Yes
Friend 2: Wtf? No

So the other dev knows what I'm on about but the civilian doesn't... interesting

Random Tip (since ppl don't seem to know)

Dark Reader chrome extension
turns everything to dark theme
works on devrant too, although their native dt is better

not sure about firefox

Never use random non-reversible git features on your 3-month project's master while just assuming and not actually knowing their functionality.
Or to avoid that altogether: Don't drink and git.

So today a colleague confessed to an attempt to troll my computer by SSHing into it and playing random songs. Thankfully he did not manage but he would just happen to do it the day we have a security audit.

I just switched from Arch to Fedora...

I know I know that all the cool kids use arch, but right now I'm not up for checking out random gdm bugs or some other manual tasks. I need a stable, fairly supported and well maintained distro and fedora just works!

super random

I never got the notion of "men don't like smart women", it's not a stereotype that I see in real life too much.
And I kinda think the opposite way, like yes honey please go on about mathematical topics I don't know a thing about <3

Rare that I stumble across a random sticker I want to put on my laptop so redbubble.com helps. Anyone got other fav sites?

// not my case image

I'm thinking of buying a new laptop. But I'm sad about leaving all of these stickers (yeah I know they're pretty random)

also, should I get a macbook or not? I really like the OS but I hate it's pricetag. But i heard Apple supports their products for more than 5 years and this laptop of mine is just 3 and a half years old and it's slowing down already even on 16gb memory. IntelliJ used to run smoothly on this.

Can u guys suggest a developer friendly laptop? im not really into gaming so I wouldn't need gaming one 👨‍💻

*using random JS for website*
*finds stuff not working*
*opens JS file*
(mesh of code)
*select all*
*Format Selection*
I love you, Visual Studio :')

Dear Client,

Proper English sentence structure, the kind that accurately conveys what you mean to ask me to do for you, requires a subject and a predicate. To hearken back to “Schoolhouse Rock”, if Mr. Morton is the subject of my sentence, then what the predicate says, he does. Mr. Morton walks. Mr. Morton talks. Etc.

Just tossing out random nouns and verbs in random order in an email will not help me to help you.

Sincerely,
Mr. Morton

There's this tech-wannabe guy who sends me random electronic related questions at the middle of the night. I don't have a gosh darn clue about what's he even up to.
He takes a muzzy photo of his computer screen, not a proper screenshot, and asks for "Will this schematic work if I leave this and that part off of it? Cuz I don't currently have those at my shelf."

Same for sharing a link, take a photo of it.

Just make a program that spits out random strings, run it as code and see if it compiles. If not, repeat. That way, just like the apes typewriter thing, you find the most amazing code that is so complicated, nobody would have thought of, but it solves all of humanities problems, especially the power problem you created by running this code 1000000000000000000000 times parallel.

So my boss thinks of debugging as a guessing game. As in you just say random things that have not even the slightest relation with the code where the bug is ... now i know why it take days to fix a little bug...

Just in a meeting with data science team. They're testing a different random forest implementation and getting better results and I asked why and the HEAD OF THE FUCKING DATA SCIENCE DEPARTMENT says "I'm not sure, I think maybe different default parameters" and I'm like WHAT THE FUCK the old implementation we just set the defaults and went with that

that feel when the mothfacka uses around twenty different fonts, and not be able to even name them, and don't get me started on the arbitrary resizing of links, and the seemingly random positioning of round shaped elements

Why is it that every python project I come across seems to not even want you to use it.
The deployment always sucks, you get some random ass errors because some parts are in python 2 instead of 3 I guess. If there's a C library involved it most definitely won't work. What the fuck is conda and why do I need it to install software?
Where is the documentation to build a release yourself if the public ones don't work?

I’m really liking the Algorithm Design Manual so far, except for the fact that there’s not a glossary somewhere for “random mathematical symbols you have probably never had to deal with but we will use in psuedocode examples”

If you're subscribed to me only because of my jokes, feel free to ignore this rant. You won't miss anything.

If not, bear with me.

I was wrong about almost everything I can remember. Preaching so-called “conceptual thinking”, I invented a fantasy world of random anecdotes, which turned into a completely false worldview that shaped my reality. I bashed magical thinking, yet succumbed to it. What I believed to be true was just as magical, wrapped into what sounded like science. In the Dunning-Krueger scheme, I was right there on Peak Stupid.

Random hear-say, stupid concepts I invented, random “knowledge” I picked from YouTube videos, all that was rotting inside my head, one anecdote contradicting another. Ultimately, I think this was the reason of my constant anxiety and pointless, never-ending thought process in background.

If you learned anything factual from me and didn't fact-check it, please forget that immediately. The list includes but is not limited to everything on brain structure, everything on philosophy, almost everything on engineering and architecture, almost everything on systems theory and programming meta stuff (declarative, imperative, etc.)

I admit bashing unit tests. The only reason was me disliking writing them in uni. I wrote like three test cases, disliked it, and the rest was history. Everything else was a rationalization on top. If I was right about something, I was just lucky.

I'm not a CSS prodigy. I know stuff that earns me money and impresses my colleagues, but my knowledge is just one step above basics, in one thousand steps ladder.

Hello Darkness, my old friend, I finally moved to dark side xD. Paying a little didn't even hurt, though I got some stickers from Unixstickers, thanks to someone in comment on a random rant here.
P. S. - No, I haven't used them all yet, I just put them together for a group photo and no, arch is not like that.

When my boss thinks doing anything is better then doing nothing...

I have to explain to my boss for the Nth time already that doing random tests and things will not replicate a PRODUCTION network issue that seem caused by particular factors at a particular time and location.

And that the best way to trace is for whatever is raising the issue to log the exact time and error so the problem can be traced through all the steps...

FML.....

Did anyone else grow up using shitty laptops and cheap hard disks with just not enough space and now that they are adulting and have access to money, have this random, uncontrollable urge to keep buying more SSD's even though they already have more than they'll ever need or is it just me?

Spotify you little shithead how often do I have to reset the random mode for you to finally play stuff at random and not loop the same 20 songs? WTF? you literraly have like 1k of them in this list and you loop 20! HOW AND WHY <.< i even pay for you. Get it together.

Anyone else feeling murderous mood today for no reason? I'm not even at work yet...

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD STOP OVERUSING STYLES.XML IN ANDROID.

It is NOT A GOOD IDEA to create a new style for each and every layout and then RANDOMLY reuse those styles in RANDOM places.

Grep is working around the clock to solve this fucking hot mess you've made.

FFS

Why do my brain just stops working on technical interviews? I say the most random crap as an answer even though I know the fucking right one. Well this way I'm not getting a job anytime soon.

I'm not sure if this should be a joke or random, but the SBB train info screen in St. Gallen on platform 5 just decided to interpret the data given a bit differently than intended.

It is not broken and no other screen has that problem. What could it be, I wonder. But I don't care enouht to post it as a question.

I guess random would have been more appropriate.

principle software developer who does not code, design, or architect,

instead, do random eslint fixes which create conflict with everyone's branches.

1 line of code "fix" per commit.

there goes 26 commits

WHY FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DO RANDOM PEOPLE WRITE ME UP ON DISCORD TO HELP THEM WITH THEIR DEVELOPMENT ISSUES. I AM OPEN TO HELP BUT I AM NOT A FUCKING CODING SERVICE.

That moment when you try several days to get the code to behave like you want and at a random moment everything suddenly works....

Better not to touch it (the code) anymore before it breaks again...

Regex are one of the finest art piece in software.

Had a 2 hour class and even after that I think you can spend months on mastering it.

It's not something I haven't used but we undermine whole beauty of how random characters can form formula and extract complicated pattern.

Kleene we owe you.

Note: this is a joke, it's not code related.

Someone goes to a restaurant, and he asks what they got, and the reply to him: "we have a crochet leg, a chopped liver and ligaments"

He says back: "don't tell me about your problems" XD

I shit you not: Today, a random recruiter phoned a company I work for, asked to speak to me, and then tried to offer me a job :| .Wtf is wrong with you people?! I'm not searching for a job anywhere... Turns out they found me on Linkedin...

This weeks question fits me well, as I am still unsure about the full details of how the fuck this all came together and was about to just rant about it anyway.

Ever since this companies network equipment and cabling has been updated, a lot of vital tools went down and bug out every now and then, at seemingly random times.

The codebase is a horrible mess to begin with and random things execute at random times and at random places spread all over different resources that get random hooks from random physical values etc.

Turns out (or at least what it so far seems like) all of them somehow sync their clock and other variables based on how many (valid-?) requests it gets per measured time and similar oddities, so when the network equipment got updated, that meant that multiple processes now could reach each other much faster and therefore threw off thousands of values and internal clocks.

There's a total of like 600 systems that are all "separate" from each other but all need to communicate in-sync for the production chain to properly work. Thankfully I didn't sign anything yet, so might actually just redirect them to somebody else, I am not ready to age 20 years, even for the amount that would pay.

Reading in a while for a slackbot creation tutorial. Then suddenly, a random note appears:

"Be sure to use version 0.3.0 of slackbots as newer version are not perfectly compatible with what's illustrated in this tutorial."

THEN UPDATE YOUR TUTORIAL!

DO NOT! WASTE MY TIME!

Over the last few years I started to change my mind about Microsoft, thinking that now it's a different company, caring about its customers more than money, focusing on quality to wipe away their bad reputation.

But no, this week I was proven wrong. I had to use one of the Microsoft products (SharePoint) and all I have to say is: same old shit.

Slow, gives errors at random times, often does not save changes. The online editor has been completely broken for two days now. Never wasted so much time before on such a piece of crap.

Fuck you Microsoft, I guess it's not time for us to meet again.

What language would be most suitable for little graphical apps?

Like fractals, animations, and random visual stuff.

I like to learn new languages, but I never know which ones to turn myself to...

My requirements (all optional):
0- Can output visual stuff
1- Cross-platform
2- Documented
3- Not python

Thanks in advance :)

Someone here goes buy the nick "snugglebuddy". Hats off. I'm your new fan! 😀

Random: What kind of music do you listen to when working?

I'm sure a lot, if not most folks on this website have headphones on while coding.

#CloudStories

If its not working, try to open all ports on security group. You can then also give your home keys, your address and credit cards details to some random, homeless guy.

If I wanted to become a hacker here is what I would do to cover my steps: 1.) Buying a used Laptop with cash, and picking it up in person.
2.) Using random coffee shops to work by dice roll. Obviously at least a d20 and at least 20 coffee shops.
3.) Installing Linux, probably Manjaro. (Not Kali because I've heard that is watched)
What are your thoughts?

More laptop stickers, less windows.

Fucking Fucking Fuck.... fucking acumatica and fucking IIS.
I’m not shitting on CS or ASP but the fucking windows server/IIS implementation. No one should use that shit. Fucking horrendous garbage.

Literally every goddamn thing we do in acumatica has major fucking gotchas.

Today apparently goddamn concurrency is fucked cause IIS and acumatica. I love friggen obscure issues being only documented in a friggen comment on a damn post in a random difficult to search corner of the friggin internet.

Fuck Apache TIKA.
Its supposed to be a "universal file reader" or some shit. Im trying to use it as a PDF/image parser that does OCR when needed and yelds a full-file string. It does so, but the text ends up being IN THE WRONG FUCKING ORDER.
WTF would I want to parse the text out of a PDF in any order that is not the one the text is supposed to be read?!?!
"It is more efficient to work in random ordering", says the docs. No shit, really? Wouldn't it be even more efficient to just spit out random strings? Just as useful and 100% CPU-bound.
"You can add a property to forcefully put the text in the right order". THEN WHY THE FUCK IT IS NOT THE DEFAULT SETTING?
Srsly, what's the use case to a parser that yields scrambled text?!?

I am trying to "invent" secure client-side authentication where all data are stored in browser encrypted and only accessible with the correct password. My question is, what is your opinion about my idea. If you think it is not secure or there is possible backdoor, let me know.

// INPUT:
- test string (hidden, random, random length)
- password
- password again
// THEN:
- hash test string with sha-512
- encrypt test string with password
- save hash of test string
// AUTH:
- decrypt test string
- hash decrypted string with sha-512
- compare hashes
- create password hash sha-512 (and delete password from memory, so you cannot get it somehow - possible hole here because hash is reversible with brute force)

// DATA PROCESSING
- encrypt/decrypt with password hash as secret (AES-256)

Thanks!

EDIT: Maybe some salt for test string would be nice