My employer bought some new 40" 4k displays to the office. The want us to evaluate if they are any good, and if so replace all monitors... No real developers has one, only HR people sitting there with one huge window with office or word open!! It makes me cry! And they will most likely say they are too big!

When everyone left the office I tried one... OMG, i need this in my life! 😍

Me: *accidentally opens DevTools*

1.269427 milliseconds later...

Person: TEACHER! He’s HACKING INTO GOOGLE DRIVE!!!

Teacher: *glances at computer* Oh my gosh! That is ILLEGAL! Go to the office immediately.

I reluctantly headed to the office and calmly explained what happened. Luckily, some people have a bit of common sense and let me go.

So I wrote a code in HTML and js that puts an alert on the screen that says "all of your info is mine now, goodbye" and then redirects you to the nyam cat site

I sent it to some of my friends to have a little laugh but they have sent it to other people and eventually the school principle called me and told me to go to her office and retrieve all the data I stole

I went there and explaind her the prank but she didn't believe me
So she called the programming teacher to check the file
She laughed as hard as I've ever seen anyone laughing and told me to go back to class

It was scary and funny but the thing I've learnt is that it's stupid to prank ignorant people.

I FUCKING HATE how I always have to prove my abilities twice to everyone just because I sit in a wheelchair!!!

I mean if the people on the street treat me like a child it's hard enough... they might just be afraid of the unknown or simply stupid... but at the office?
You know what I do for a living... What on earth would make you think you have to treat me as if I have some kind of cognitive disability as well?

I am going to roll/drive over the next guy who does something like that!!!

Sorry for the non dev rant but this had to get out

Sarcasm, because people around the office don't think I'm enough of a dick

Pain the ass sales guy walks into my office uninvited. Looks at one of my screens which has sftp copying a lot of files and spewing out each one. He asks what that "nonsense" is.

I politely tell him that it is all his sales data and I am deleting it. At which point I got up and went to lunch with no further discussion.

The next phone call I received was from my boss asking me to stop fucking with the sales people. I hope he learned to knock after this.

Do any of you guys or gals sit outside and code?

Since 2009 this has been my primary work place (even in the cold and rain), I go to the office for mostly non-coding work and have a pc inside for serious sessions but I'd say 80% of my heads down dev time is spent sitting here. A little quirk is when people call or Skype me they'll immediately say "I can hear birds in the background, where are you??".

Anyway, I'm moving soon and thought I should share while I still can ☺️

I wasn’t even looking for a job, I just went out for drinks with friends and I met this random dude. I complained to him about work wanting us to go back to the office, to which he replied that I should go work for them because they’re remote and looking for people. I had a look at their openings and they had a role with fewer responsibilities and a lot more money, so I applied. It’s been 3 months and I’m so glad I switched.

Fuck open office spaces.

A few months ago I landed a super sweet job as a senior full stack developer, mainly going to work with their Python microarchitecture. The company pays well, has a sweet balance between freedom and responsibility, 30 days vacation etc.

During the recruiting process they walked me around the office that was super cozy with 14 devs in on large room and 10 people from marketing in another. They also mentioned that they would move and merge office with operations and customer service (around 100 more people) in a few months.

Life was good in the old office, I thought that this is the company where I will work for a looooong time.

Now we are in the new office and its fucking shit. No walls or FUCKING CEILINGS between departments. Right above my head there is balcony with customer service talking loud as fuck 24/7. Everyone that is not a developer is just so fucking loud.

I have to use earplugs AND earmuffs to get silence, or blast my ears with way to loud music. Every day around lunch I'm completely done mentally.

I know I'm extra sensitive to noise because of my ADHD, but seriously who the fuck thought this was a good idea?

All the devs have told our boss what needs to be done. If they listen i don't know. In the meantime I will start looking for a new job....

employee: I want growth in my role

company: *installs ping pong table*

employee: autonomy?

company: *creates fully-stocked snack room*

employee: fulfilment.

company: *employs a live DJ in the office*

employee: *quits*

company: some people just aren't a good culture fit.

I don't even know where to start with this rant!
I haven't paid rent for 3 months now.I haven't paid the WiFi and electricity bills too.Hell, I haven't even paid the fucking college fees and it's almost mid-semester.I have like 100+ other bills I haven't paid.I have exhausted loans from all of my banks and I am at the fucking end now!!!!

What's worse is that some motherfuckers owe me close to 4 million in local currency!!!The project was finished in April and until now they can't fucking pay me because their "CEO has not signed the cheque". Motherfuckers, we were all in the same room when we agreed on the pricing.That half-assed CEO was also there!
What the fuck is wrong with people?WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE?????
How many fucking times do I have to come to your stinking shit office to follow up on payments.How many fucking times????How many fucking times do I have to see new V8s parked outside your office yet you claim you still collecting the funds.How many fucking times?!!?
Please fucking pay me!.I fucking need that money stupid.I don't survive on eating flies! FTW!

*While I was working from home this occurred*

New Accountant: How come Dev gets the nicest chair in the office?

IT: He brings his own chair because he doesn’t like the ones we have here.

New Accountant: How come I don’t get a nice chair?

IT: If you want a nicer chair either ask your department manager to buy one or if that doesn’t work you’re welcome to bring in your own

New Accountant: I shouldn’t have to bring in my chair from home! I want a nice chair like Dev has but I don’t want to spend the money to buy one as nice as his and my department manager said we don’t have the budget to buy one either!

IT: He buys them from a used office warehouse for pretty cheap actually, cheaper than what the company pays annually to rent these chairs from what I’ve heard. He has 3 more at home. You should ask him where he gets them from.

New Accountant: He should give me his chair! He mostly works remote anyway!

*This resulted in my being asked to come into the office to remove my chair because it was “upsetting people” in the office*

!rant
Handed over my keys and computer to my boss a moment ago and left the office for the last time. Spent 3 years there, and most of the people there came with me from my previous job I spent another 3 years at.
Feels heavy to leave a bunch of great people.

Two weeks until I start my job as a developer at a game company though.
Took me 6.5 years of work to finally get there.
Super stoked!

And I won't lie, some stickers on my new work laptop would not be a bad thing.

Worst experience with higher ups:

The Office team at Microsoft suddenly woke up to the possibility of innovation from the grounds up. We were asked to come up with ideas. The best ideas were to be shortlisted by management.

That's what i had a problem with. People are generally bad at dertermining what will work. So instead of managenst shortlisting, everyone should have run cheap experiments with their ideas and we could then double down on the ones that showed promise. That's what is done at all internet companies. But the Office team's culture hadn't changed from the boxed software days.

I was asked to have faith in the judgement of management.

Well, Ballamer didn't let Office develop mobile apps for Android and Apple. When Nadella took over, he fixed that mistake. But because competitors had already gotten ahead, the Office team had to work on Saturdays for almost a year to ship it quickly. Meaning employees having to unnecessarily sacrifice their family time because of a strategic blunder by the highest management.

So excuse me if I don't have faith in the judgement of management.

How the fuck do you want people to be productive if the office is loud as a fucking bar??? 😐😑😐

So many interruptions!
So many distractions!

I just want to fucking finish this refactor. I dont' care about meetings, texts, bloody office game tournaments, lunchtime, gossip, or people trying to be friendly. Just let me fucking work!

If you see me rocking out with my headphones on and working furiously, seriously, just don't fucking interrupt. I'll bite.

When people take office automation too seriously.... 😂

Last week my company fired 4 people (on top of 15 more over the past few months). This week they silently pushed a change to all of our machines that changed our wallpapers. The wallpaper was a picture of someone in upper management staring at you with wide eyes.

They claimed it was a joke or something but the office didn't see it that way. At best it was incredibly tone deaf and stupid, at worst it was a way to tell employees that they are always watching.

I have no idea how management could be that fucking out of touch.

So, when there is shit hitting the fan at work I tend to stay during lunch to take care of it and make sure I can take as much of a hit for it before it reaches my employees.

the lead developer walked to my office to let me know that he was about to take lunch and asked if i had plans for lunch. I told him that there were some reports to be done and some meetings that i had to attend and would be staying back, he asked if i was going to get something to eat and I said that I would try to get something as soon as possible. My man knows that I am on a strict regimen due to my workouts, and he normally takes concern over it.

I did not get something to eat, but the hour mark when he came back I was fucking starving and still stuck on a call T___T my man walks into my office as I was on a call (meeting) and he leaves a bag with my favorite burgers in my desk as I was waving hello T___T I thanked him afterwards.

Y'all, if youse a manager, take care of your people, fight for your people, my boys know i go the extra mile for them and we used to chill out having bbqs every other week playing pathfinder(i suck but make a fun party member) before the pandemic. Your coworkers might very well be your extended family. Even if you are the manager them peeps will look out for you if they know you are not a power hungry egomaniac that is more focused on keeping higher ups happy.

These dudes are my friends, my family, they were the board of members tasked with knowing if I was to get hired when i first joined in, and even tho I am now their manager I am still their friend, shit like this is possible and what I would implore everyone to strive for, because even if your organization is a faceless entity full of people that don't care for you, the dude at arms reach from your office is there, people are there, fellow human beings are there.

Fuck, just be nice to everyone else and I severely hope y'alls work life is a chill as this one.

Every day in the office kitchen I find bottles of milk open and left out, in the fridge with no date, and empties everywhere. Yesterday I found 11 open and partially used bottles of milk. I’ve designed this flow chart to help educate people (in a way developers can understand) on how to manage milk which is apparently a real challenge for some.

Somehow, the company I work for has decided it is ok for people to have their dogs in the office.
One of the dogs is such a sissy, cries and make stupid noises - I has been so for many many month.

Yesterday, when we had our asses full of stuff to do. The dog decided that it really have to take a dump inside the office and start barking (more like "veff").

So I turned around, to my other collegue and asked him really loud:

"Should groceries really do that?"

He is asian, he liked the joke. But the owner did not.

Again I am unemployed, and now in a worse situation than before. In a country far from family, parents and everyone I know, just me and my wife and in a very difficult situation.

Summing up what happened was as follows:

My previous boss had a very horrible habit of being rude to everyone, yelling at the developers in the middle of the office and being rude whenever he could. And when he saw that we did not lose his composure and showed no fear he used the tightening of salary and employment to threaten us and do unpaid overtime.

Then he decided to yell at me, I asked him not to do this in the middle of the office that is not polite and everything else, he resigned me.

Since last year it's very difficult to find a good job, I'm not even talking about salary, I'm talking about a good job even where I earn some money to live in the least in humility but at least work with legal and educated people.

I hate it when people from other "cool" departments come in to our office and call us "too quiet", "unsociable" ,"not fun"..

They need to stop for a second and realize how we got to being programmers...

Personally, I went through all the possible professions and asked myself.." which job requires the least amount of human interaction?"

SO SHUT THE FUCK UP AND GET YOUR HIPSTER FACE THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!

One colleague was that good, that he did the job of 3 people without bteaking a sweat...
He put up with shit from the client, where others would have gone on a killing spree.

One day he was blackmailed by a colleague and a project manager.
And then he had enough... This 100kg guy went kratos -spartan rage mode- yelled at all the guys who deserved it... Came to the office, where i was placed. We shook hands, he wished the other competent guys and me the best of luck and fare thee well...

Then there was an argument, which resulted in including lawyers between him and the company... He had to support us for 2 months in order to fulfill his contact... Which he did with as much detest as possible...
He didn't come into office once... Home-Office all the time...
We are still talking over social networks... Learned/learning a lot from him...

Aspecially not to take all the shit...

8:30 - get into office, boot windows
Windows: "Oh man, here's this update. If you're not doing it now, I will start in 15 minutes. No questions asked!"

9:45 - checking update status
Windows: "Well i'm nearly finished, just give me a sec..."

9:55 - whats's my pc doing
Windows: "Hey mate, I did it! I also restored those neat shortcuts to MS EDGE for you. Please use my browser"

10:00 - Well i can finally start working
Windows: "Yeah... you would. But i had to remove theese few applications, because they are not compatible anymore."

11:00 - Okay, installed all my stuff, did some coding. Time to test it. Lets boot up my VM.
Windows: "Oh so sorry mate. Not gonna show my network devices to Virtualbox anymore. Have fun reconfiguring your connections without them."

Fuck this fucking Windows 10!

The only reason we have Win10 on our machines, is because people in my office panicked the last day of the "free upgrade period" (and i was on holidays)...

People, what a bunch of bastards, especially the non-technical “educated” ones. We call them “mundanes” in our office.

My friend got laid off today. He was told to not come to office from tomorrow. No explanation given even after a good performance review.
Why companies are so bad at treating employees like people.

There are two types of dumb people in our office:
1.Those who try to open a .exe file with Word.
2.Those who ask me why the file is not opening.

I see people complaining about their CS professors quite frequently. Meanwhile, my CS professor stays late and is always willing to help us out with our work. I've been to his office twice this week to get help with assignments, and each time he's glad to help.

Oh and he offers us a soda as we get ready to leave. He has a filing cabinet full of can sodas. 100% my favorite professor I've ever had.

We don’t use the same technology we used 10 years ago but we have the same people holding office for 30+ years.

Mondays - the day everyone hates and the day that I hated.

But I made changes to my routine on mondays. Instead of trying to maximize my time in the bed - I go up before 5 AM and drive to the office. Spend a hour in the gym (I really need it), eat breakfast and have a couple of hours for myself in the office.
I manage to get more things done during this time, because people are not bothering me :)

Well, happy monday to you!

Since my last update, I got a new screen. We reorganised the office, so I got a new spot in the office (corner with no one behind me). Got a monitor stand.

I’m costing the Norwegian people so much. All this stuff I request, is financed by the tax kroner.

Things you can enjoy when working in an office with other people:

- listening to everyone chew gum with their mouths open.
- being constantly interrupted by coworkers asking for help, even when wearing headphones.
- getting distracted by someone bursting out in laughter of some private joke.
- having to take a break when everyone else does, because everyone is so loud you just can't focus.
- being hit on the back of the neck by a nerf gun bullet, right when you're most focused.

Why would anyone ever want to work at home?

Everyone’s a remote worker at our company by default. Literally no HQ or central physical office to report to. As it should be for most people who are knowledge workers or coders. Why commute and pollute and all that nonsense? It doesn’t make sense anymore for a lot of people like us.

Pranked the people working in my office by including fartscroll.js which (you guessed it) plays fart sounds on our website, internally.
It was amazing hearing random farts in the office when people have their sound maximum and don't know where it is coming from!

TMW you're asked to arrive one hour earlier at the office, so it can look "busy and innovative" to investors.

Some of us are just the toys very rich people play with.

Dead 💀 developer.

My first interview,
Back then was technical graduated local CompSchool. Call for a job newspaper, by phone ☎️ the Supervisor assign a date for interview.

In the office the developer guy was amaze because he will hire any from CompSchool he also was student and all stuff made was on the premised of he learned and worked on the company.

About half and hour talks, he write my name on a post-it and put on HR desk.
“Come back tomorrow morning .. tell me you got the job !”

Do so, entering the office next day, was a sad people talking.. the Developer is 💀 dead (drugged on a party).

So this guy “my name in the post-it” is our salvation for all the database, passwords, accounting, etc. and spell my name.

What tha... got the job, the money 💴, was 18 years old, with excessive income (dead guy salarie).

Worked 3 1/2 years for the company.

Thank you 💀 for the opportunity.

Not an office prank, but when I was in high school we had some public computers and I switched some shortcuts for chrome and internet explorer, so when you clicked chrome, something that should not be called a browser would open.
And than I got the brilliant idea: I wrote a script camuflagged as a chrome icon that would launch 100 internet explorers. Legend says that people are still raging to this day.

Had a skype interview yesterday...

> prepared for interview, checked internet and all
> home internet died literally 1 minute before call
> started interview using phone hotspot
> phone hotspot died in 1/3 interview duration
> used mom's phone's hotspot
> died in 2/3 interview duration
> oh shit
> went out to phone company's office to get more data
> half way to the office, mom calls: home internet is working!
> yaay! goes back home
> nop, internet isn't working (glitch in mom's phone which showed it to be working (wifi symbol))
> goes back to the office
> gets phone recharged (office people were SO slow 😑)
> gets back home
> continues and finishes the interview...

10/10 will do again 😂😂😂😂

The interviewer was quite patient, and waited for me to get back home (he called me 2-3 times to get a heads up)

Lol this was honestly THE most exciting and fun interview experience for me yet!
The interview questions were pretty easy btw (programming)
Waiting for result now...

Business guy: hmmm, what do you think about getting the programmers to come to the office more often?
Me: uhhhh explain?
BG: feels like when working from home they might only give it their 90%, but in the office they'd do 100%.
Me: let's not talk about how you reached that conclusion for now. If you force them to come more often they will quit.
BG: what about the new people we want to hire?
Me: most jobs have full remote available, why would anyone pick us?
BG: hmmm. Btw next week we'll talk with some stakeholders about trying to get some outsource help. You know, for repetitive stuff that doesn't require in-house engineers.
Me: like what?
BG: you know, repetitive stuff

This is suffering. Is my only choice to tell the guy that he has no clue what he is talking about, should STFU, and let the technically capable people to handle themselves? As in, we already do but for some reason he still thinks he knows better than the people doing the god damn job? But if I do so, the salinity in his blood will bring other problems upon us.

One of the owners of the company I work for is teaching programming to the lady's son who cleans the office. They are poor people but with a good heart. It is so good to know that if he takes this opportunity, he could help his family in the future. This is awesome.

Some 'wk306' highlights from different people:

Walk around the office in his underwear, because he forgot he left his trousers in the bathroom

Run a red light outside the office due to not wearing his required glasses. When questioned by co-workers, replied "I don't follow those facist rules"

Asking if we work less will we get paid more, because the project will take longer to do (while in a startup with no funding trying to secure some)

Tell a senior dev to stop testing in his spare time, as we won't be able to release on time if he keeps finding critical security bugs

Telling me "your timezone is not my concern", when asking for help with new tooling so we don't have to be online at the same time

Blaming my team for requesting too much help, leading to his team missing deadlines, in a meeting with very senior managers. When the reason we were requesting help was the handover doc we were given was filled with lies about features being finished and "ready to ship" and lacking any unit tests

Being accused of bullying and harassment to the CEO, because someone asked "did you follow up with X about the partnership they emailed us about". The person who was responsible, forgot 4 times, and saw it as an "attack" to mention it in team meetings

Telling an entire office/building mid November they've secured funding for at least the next year, then announcing in January after the Christmas break that its cheaper to move to India, so they are closing the office in 30 days

In this episode of "office drama", we have the head secretary asking me if I want to contribute to the gift for the baby of some guy I don't know well. (I'm new to the office btw)
When I refuse, saying that I don't know him well enough to want to contribute, she says "that's okay, but we won't be collecting for a gift for you once you have a baby. We want to be a '''team''' ".

😐

I just said "that's fair", but maaaaaaaan! Since when is it okay to demand that someone participates in a gift, while ignoring their social or financial circumstances? 😤

Update: went to her office to talk about this "being a part of the team" and clear things up. She said, and I quote "I don't have time for this". And by that, swords have been unsheathed. I guess there is no pleasing some people.

Those developers working under non-technical bosses, i understand your pain.

1. Pain when they don't realise that output != number of hours put in. Aaaaaaand that acting busy doesn't mean someone's working.
2. Pain when chilling out in office is necessary, because mind jobs don't work same as other jobs. Wherein if you don't vent it out you're gonna screw up the code. Them not getting that.
3. Pain of "meetings".
4. Pain of changing the feature when you're done, and them acting as if its a minor change.
5. Pain of vague requirements.
6. Pain of a product not thought through, and them trying to blame the implementation.

!rant

The last two days we were only young people @ our Office.

Because we are funny as fuck we put the jacket of our smallest college on the sealing xD

Oh gosh I love work sometimes so much :D

Coming back to the office after being down with sickness for 3 days. Apparently the two other People on the project doesn't talk together, only when im the middle man making sure they talk, and we got a big test on Monday.....

Are there any other developers out there who find that people judge their skills based on the color scheme they use in an editor?

I started programming with software that only offered one color scheme and have never felt the need to move away from it since I'm used to it.

While I'm sitting in the office, co-workers often come up to me, take one look at the fact I'm using a light color scheme and feel the need to try and convert me to the dark side as if that will make me a better developer.

Does anybody else experience this?

our HR made a survey about home office and how people think about coming back to office in the future. Shortly afterwards, our new CEO sent us an e-mail saying that he would like to see more employees in the office again soon. After all, it is paid for and must therefore be used. Of course, it's better for everyone to commute 2 hours to work every day, and last year home office worked well for everyone.
Personally, I can do without constantly sitting with my colleagues in a noisy office where 10 people are on the phone at the same time.

Bonus: In his opinion, software is better when it has more LOC.

Bonus2: Last working day for me is end of September. After that I start my new job with 43 days vacation per year :D

Once a Swidish programmer from our remote offices came to our office for a week (4 people office, we occupied three seats). He used to sigh loudly after every ten lines of code he wrote. One programmer in our office got so pissed at him that she would randomly yell at him without him knowing (using our local language which he didn't know)

Manager: we require people to work in the office but we'll give you a space to get as comfy as you want.

Me: *walk into the open space office, set my mechanical keyboard, plug in my noise cancelling headphones, start coding and mumbling every now and then*

Manager: keyboard is distracting others and we don't allow headphones as we want to be able to speak to you when we feel like it.

Got migrated from 3-nerd room to 18 person open office. Even call centers have cubicles, but noooo.

Who the FCK invented open plan offices?

I can see how the morons are rubbing their two cells together:
"Who on earth would like to have some quiet when thinking? Thinking is for nerds! Sales people make money and they like to yell all over the F!#!#! place.

Fck this. Turning in my resignation today.

Just curious, how is it like to work as a developer. I mean, as a profession and not a hobby or freelancing.

From devRant, so far I know that you work in an office, the managers and bosses are assholes, and people always write unmanageable and undocumented code.

What else is it like? Do you get to work alone or do you have to work with people? Do you stay there all day long?

I know its still going to be a while for me, but I want to know how it will be like.

Could all this fucking weak sick people just stay at home instead of coming to our damn open space office and be coughing their guts out ever 20 seconds for all the office to listen! damn, have some respect for the healthy people and go lie in your bed.

We have a ver crappy Internet connection at my office (I believe it's 100Mb/s for 50 people to share), so when somebody starts downloading a big file they pretty much hijack all the available bandwidth and fuck up everybody else.

Now, we have ONE, just ONE SINGLE FUCKING COMPUTER RUNNING FUCKING WINDOWS 10 AND EVERY WEEK IT FUCKS UP THE ENTIRE OFFICE'S INTERNET CONNECTION WITH ITS STUPID FUCKING UNCANCELLABLE MANDATORY UPDATES.
FUCK YOU MICROSOFT.

The fax machine in our office (yes we still have a fax machine....) Has rung 4 times today! Why are people calling the bloody fax machine?!

This happened in my first internship I was working for a small company. They had a knack of redefining policies at short notices.

The had this shitty time tracking site which was hosted internally.

We were working on client location for 25/30 days so we didn't have access to the time tracking site. And there comes a memo that everybody has to fill the time tracking or their salary will not be credited.

So when we reach office we hear this "News". We thought they would consider people on client location. But then on salary day we don't get any and are called into VP's office for a verbal lashing. We literally had to fight for two weeks for the salary.

Worst Experience Ever

What is with people bringing in their flu to the office? Stay at home

My friend told me stories about his colleague who's always against him.

One time, during their management meeting, that colleague suggested that they should have a suggestion box in the office.

So my friend proposed that they use Google forms. He presented how Google forms work and the majority got really impressed(except the colleague).

Naturally the colleague is against him, he said "this is not what I had in mind". He wanted to have an actual box and people write suggestions on paper and drop it in(suggesting the ancient way).

Every meeting, the colleague complains a lot, and my friend provides techy and convenient solutions.

I hate open space offices for following reasons
- bright environment (I cannot turn off the light just for my own)
- noises (talking, discussions, chewing)
- requests and questions
- people

But I still cannot afford to be in my own office room yet.
Now I have to wear a cap inside the office like a mad-hatter and plug my ears with earphones even without playing any music.

Having to deal with the "vim guy" in the office, who refuses to believe that people should be allowed to use their editor of choice, and that you are somehow an insuperior developer because you prefer a native GUI.

Walk from my office to the cafeteria.

Bump into this one kid, we both good, said sorry and moved on.

Team of what seems volleyball players run by. Nice legs.jpg. continue to walk. Say hi to people st cafeteria.

Damn near 10 mins in taco line...way too many kids. Hold up what are all these kids doing here?

Wall back to office, sit down...then it hits me.

I work at a college. Das why there are so many fucking kids.

Stopid man.

I am still at the office, doing a completely non-critical job for completely non-critical businesses while the streets look like something straight out of Fallout 4.

Friend: Why do you not work from home?

Me: Because people who care more about money then the wellbeing of the world control everything. Jobs are just slavery with extra steps and the exchange of one's health in exchange for tokens with which to purchase base necessities is just a way to hide that fact.

Friend: I fucking hate our species.

Me: Amen.

If you are sick...

STAY THE FUCK HOME!

It has nothing to do with how YOU are feeling. It’s about RESPECT for those around you.

Especially if you work in an open office. Coming into an open office when sick is like coughing right on someone’s face repeatedly, it shows that same level of (lack of) respect.

Almost every company I have seen fucks this up so bad. It’s the same shit every year....

People are afraid to take days and stay home. They go in and make everyone sick, then everyone is taking days off and we are “short” on people. Then the incompetent CEO is scratching his head as to why this toxic work environment could produce such a toxic result.

And one more fucking thing.

If you got a cold/flu on Monday and your in the office on Wednesday because you are “feeling a bit better” then your a fucking idiot. At day 3 you are just starting to expel germs while still being highly contagious.

If you come into an open office while sick then I would say...

“Smarten the fuck up! And start showing some respect for the people you work with!”

If you have created (or are creating) a culture that encourages this then I would say...

“Fuck you! You should be fucking smarter than that.”

————

If your still sitting there thinking something like...

“Well I have to attend the meeting” or some other shit. Then let me add this to the pile.

Not everyone has had a rosy fucking life.

You may be working next to someone who has a lowered immune system due to past medical problems. What may be a week of sickness for you could end up being a month in the hospital for them.

You may be working next to a person who has a family member dying of cancer. If you make them sick then they can’t visit that family member (colds can kill cancer patients) and you may be stopping that person from seeing their loved ones one last time before they die.

Don’t be a fucking asshole.

STAY THE FUCK HOME!

Company: Govt says you should stay home to prevent spreading the disease. PLZ WFH.

People start to WFH.
VPN gets overwhelmed.

Me: Cannot connect to VPN.

Boss: Then go in the office!!!

Me: Uhh...

I used to work in a company with such a high bus factor that we called "teams" composed of a single people "immortal" like in the movie "highlanders" because of the fact they could not be fired since they were the only people to know how their project works. We went through hard times for the company when several of the immortals resigned one by one. Each time one of us left premises on his last day, we played the song "Princes of the Universe" very loud on the office. I was the last and I left four months ago.

drew this on the office whiteboard. hopefully people notice...

I work at a startup and our office is inside a collab-space. Last week they organized a workshop called:
"Using the blockchain to prevent loeliness".

And even worse: people were paying to attend it :(

So Microsoft have not only decided to make it so you can't install indvidual parts of Office, but you also have no choice as to where it gets installed... Straight into "C:\Program Files".

These days when more and more people are using multiple hard drives, what possible benefit can removing installation options have??

Our boss has a camera in the office to "monitor" us, the developers.
He tries to monitor our movements and record the things we say.

I'm curious, do other people do this?
I find it annoying.

Birthday rant !dev
>Be me. Buy 20 doughnuts for everyone in company, two more than there are people working in the office, just to be safe.
>Be one of 5 other people that came to work today. Everyone else either are sick, are working remotely or went on a delegation.
>Watch as 14 doughnuts slowly decay in the kitchen.
Well... At least I've got my package from devRant. Thanks for quick shipping! I only got it today because there was tracking. Fucking post in Poland is shit, they "tried to deliver it yesterday but there weren't anyone at home" even though I was and I haven't even got notice in the mailbox.

LinkedIn is probably the closest thing we have to a parallel universe,

where all HRs hand out more salary to candidates than they asked for,

where 100% of people struggle in the beginning get their big break and turn their business into a multi-billion dollar company,

where there is no such thing as office politics, every employee is always happy to be a part of the organization.

where each team identifies themselves as a "family".

#ugh

Shout out to the people who take someone else's office chair. I just went for a toilet break then *poof* someone took it.

People are incredibly rude and ill mannered.

New company stories.

Whenever I am in office and having a conversation with a person, someone randomly appears (like those annoying pop-ups on websites) and interrupts the conversation and starts with their own.

I don't understand why people don't wait for the conversation to be over, or ask for permission (in case it is urgent).

Such behaviour derails the entire thought process and breaks the rhythm.

It's just beyond me. How difficult it can be!!!

Me: I need more programmers for the project.
Boss: You have 4 people, that's enough.
Me: I have 3 juniors taking 50% of time of a senior (me) contributing less than a medior and rest of my time goes to managing project. I know that in 6 months time invested in them will start paying off, but right now I need more people. Also I don't have me, by that logic, cleaning lady comes to the office every day and we couldn't work witout her, so there's 5 people, at least.
Boss: You'll manage.
Inner me: I would if I was working 8 hours as programmer without tutoring and managing.
Me: Sigh.

We are 5 people on the team. And I am the only one who came to the office today. Love is definitely in the air.

The freaking furniture people didn't complete things on time and our business development department is still not finished. The freaking reception desk is not there yet.

Here I am going to my new office on Saturday morning. Not to code but to monitor those guys to get things done by today.

!rant

I started my new position in Ireland about a month ago (relocated from Switzerland) and it‘s amazing how awesome life can be despite working full-time..
I have a 8-5 job, I usually get home around 6PM and have 6 hours left for myself every evening.. no calls, mails or similar after I leave the office.
Im actually not allowed to do overtime..

Everyone in the company is super nice and the Irish people are so incredibly welcoming and are happy to help if you need something..

So thankful right now..

Been wearing sunglasses to the office for a few months now because I'm sick of bright screens, light themes of co-workers, the daylight outside that shines through the windows (I moved to another desk further away from the windows), the ceiling lights that are always on (even when there's daylight from outside, thanks boss) and people expecting me to have my eyes open in meetings when there's nothing to look at so now I can just close them and switch to "standby" while I'm still listening.

I am a devampire.

> One of my guys from work.

> Walks up to my office
> Says "say something cursed about software development or programming that would make people cry"

> Me: "If I could I would program games and neural networks with PHP"

> Him: .......you fucking monster.

> Walks away

For reference: We both like php, but know and understand why that is a baaaaad idea.

Today a junior dev from the company I'm working at as consultant, suddenly shouted:
😤"why the hell my software behaves differently on every pc here in the office ... But it works on my machine? I'm sure there's something wrong with the OS/Framework"

🤔 let me think for a moment ...
* is it because the whole office keep developing like the ancient romans did?
* is it because that software is such a mess that requires a wizard in order to manually change all the magic configuration strings ?
* is it because every damn developer there has his particular environment and the word "container" reminds you only the show where the people bid for unclaimed shit ?
* is it because the "guru" at your company decided it was a super cool idea to wrap EVERY single external library (that just works out of the box) into some obscure static helper without even a single trace of documentation and clue of what's wrong?

🤗"I don't know... Must be a bug in the OS or framework for sure"

Success
There are 21 people in our office.
11 were Apple users. 2 are now android, 3 others are getting it for their next phone.
The other android users would never go back to Apple.

The most unusual place I have coded:

At office
Last Friday at 9:05 PM.
No one was there except me and a strange tapping sound kept coming out of no where.
Outside the window, I could see two people fighting.

So I had to use office and image editing tools on Linux today.
Holy mother fucking god are these things awful. Gimp, pinta, gnome paint, libre office, open office... they seem like a project some guy threw together a weekend in his bedroom. The UX is shite and makes 0 sense. They crash and lag all over the place. For fuck sake!
Also... Gimp, libre office and open office. If you want to make an alternative to a well known product (Photoshop and MS Office in this example) then just fucking copy the god damn UI as much as you can. No-one is going to go learn your fucking half ass product, people only use this shit because it's free and available on Linux.
I swear, I seriously considered sending the images to my phone and just fucking edit them there because it would have been so much easier than using this pile of shit.
Fuck!!!

People talking all day about how great and working from home is like it cured cancer! Got it, you like working from home now shut up and start making it into some sort of religion. Not everyone likes working, sleeping and being in the exact same spot, some people like interacting with other humans!

Nothing will replace being in the office with your colleagues, interacting like HUMANS

Story time!

I worked at a company that was the HQ for a sizable organization for a while, until it was eventually bought out by another company, and then yet another company who was located in the valley.

We were kinda a forgotten office not being the HQ, like most places like that are.

No customers EVER visited our building, few if any people knew we existed even, even our own company. I visited HQ in the valley on a number of occasions and was stalked by the video monitoring system for hours before I was stopped by security and the cops called because nobody believed there as an office outside the valley when I explained why my badge looked different .... (San Jose cops were very nice about it and really pissed at the security team.) But that's another story...

One day people who were never at our office decided (after many meetings without talking to anyone at the office) ... they decided the beige walls at our office didn't match the company colors.

So they took all the generic wall coverings down and painted all the walls an almost imperceptible different color.

So now we had an office with all white(ish) walls and nothing on them. Due to the configuration of the building there were these huge monolithic white walls that looked pretty dumb.

This lasted quite a while so as a joke I printed up and framed (found an old frame, as a former HQ we had lots of stuff lying around) a sign that said:

"This space intentionally left blank."

When the "mediocre hotel room quality art" and posters were scheduled to go up the folks putting the art up skipped that wall thinking the sign was official.

Even the somewhat corporate drone directors, and one VP at our office thought it was so funny, they didn't say a word about it. Word has it back at HQ they assumed it "must be fire code or something" and told the folks hanging the crappy art to skip that wall.

It lasted on that wall for a decade until we moved out of that building. On the last day, everything was moved, but that sign remained. No idea if it is still there or not...

When I was about 13, I opened up command prompt on Windows, and changed the color of it to green then ran the tree command. So, not thinking of anything, this was in the library in front of about 60 people and 2 teachers.

All others saw was green text going down fast, and instantly presumed that I was hacking since they knew I was into coding and finding exploits, and just knew how to use a computer better than them in simple terms (HACKER MAN). Thus this lead to me getting sent to the principal's office... I almost got suspended cause I ran the tree command in green.

Two questions for me remain unanswered, that I would love to know. What would've happened if command prompt was printing text in red. Another question becomes, what would've happened if people saw me pinging Google or some popular site.

I don't know how recruitment goes outside of the Netherlands, but here they can be very very aggressive due to the scarcity of programmers.
One was even so blunt that he called the office I was working and asked to be connected to me with some bullshit story. Now you have to understand that this was a small company, so small that it was one open space. You can imagine how I felt when he was asking me questions and offering me work while the rest of the people could actually hear me. I got mad at the guy and refused.

What are your weirdest recruiter stories? Beside LinkedIn spam...

I really wish people valued health over profit.

So I joined a company last month and last week I got assigned to the biggest client we have. The project is quite big and there are no deadlines coming up. I was sick for a couple of days and hence could not turn up at the office. Apparently the client called up my manager and went on a rant about this situation. So now I have to work on the weekends to cover up for the missed work while on meds that make me sleepy.

Fuck such clients.

So I trolled one of my co-workers who has an iPhone saying "Buy a real phone" .. and now people are picking that around the office and throwing it at everyone who uses Apple products .. "buy a real laptop".. etc

Please, oh please, tell me there's an exception for murdering people using their phone in speaker mode right in the middle of an open space.

Please ... I feel like it should count as public service and be rewarded ..

I'm trying to work here, it don't give the slightest flying fuck about the latest crap you dare to call code and how it fucked up your whole application.

So now that Covid is apparently "gone", management wants us to come to the office to participate in daily team building events to hype up people to commute full time...
but still gotta finish those milestone deliveries while having too many meetings and deadlines.

Murphy is watching us from above with a shit-eating grin.

Me in the Gym 😃😉😀

weights = [12.5, 15, 17.5, 22.5]
sets = 0
while (sets <2):
for i in weights:
print(i)
print("Rest")
sets = sets + 1

And people say keep your work at office.

Downside of being a developer without design skills & creativity.

--

Yesterday, i created a simple food ordering app for our office. I shared it to my dev colleagues and got a decent feedback (except for the new hire). But when shared it to people like writers and graphic designers. I feel a bit off.

Graphic D: "The app should not use a blue color scheme. because blue is an UNAPPETIZING COLOR", "The yellow color is too vibrant"

Writers: They are blabbing about the grammar and spellings :(

New Hired Dev: Can you share me the codes?

** I always trying to learn how to do webdesign but i think its not really for me :(

Get a programming career, they said. The more experience you get, the more people will want to hire you, they said. Well, I'm finding the inverse to be true. Everyone wants a 20-something who knows 100+ programming languages (none of them well) and who'll sleep at the office and kiss butt all day vs. a guy who has a few gray hairs but has seen some things and knows where the bodies are buried.

I hate days where I have to go into the office (I work remote most days). Today's aroma is a mixture of burnt cheese and feet....WHY people...whyyyy 😢

The kitchen at my office is pretty small, it fits a max of two people. Today morning while making a sandwich, an infrastructure dev walks in and proceeds to say... "I hope you don't mind me standing behind you, it's really not a Christian thing to do"... what?

Cheap computer, Broken AC, Fresh coat of off-white/grey paint, Torn chair with ciggy burns in it, non-adjustable cubicle desk that is wayyyy too high, people from unrelated departments popping by every 15mins to give me an update I didn’t ask for on their inconsequential lives or their opinion on whatever the fuck is the biggest trending hashtag right now.

May I never go back into the office again.

#thoughtsandprayers

- be any programmer hired to a job
- do some cool thing that helps the business
- gets labeled as a smart programmer and a helpful team member
- get questions and cries of help from everyone at the office
- get burnt out and refuse to help some people
- get labeled as lazy, bad at my job, and having a bad attitude
- gets shadow fired
- cycle repeats

It’s time to burn down the houses of every rich person - and I hope we actually fully commit this time :)

I post riddles and puzzles outside my office door to keep people distracted before bothering me. they must answer all right before disturbing me.

Now I have to wear a stupid shirt, go to my stupid office and tolerate stupid people.

*Ciiiirrrrcle of lifeeeeeee

Top three reasons why I love to code:

1) People will think you are a wizard and feel so afraid of you that they call you nerd and give you a office in a cold basement (especially good in summer times)

2) Your friends call you for every problem they have with their computer and will give you a few bucks or beers in exchange.

3) You can rant about technical stuff and no matter how unfounded the rant is, your non-tech friends will believe everything you say.

Senior management just had a covid opening up party, streamed it on YouTube in the middle of the office with not a single person wearing a mask or social distancing. Encouraging employees to come back to working in the offices.

I AM FUCKING DONE. IM DONE.

It hasn't been a week since one of our employees died and these were the same people who emailed the team asking to donate towards the bereaved family.

This isn't even a rant. It baffles me that narcissistic bullshit like this is legal. How can anyone be that fucking stupid? Just how. Explain this shit to me. Because these aren't total assholes. They're generally nice people outside of work. Why is it that anything touched by corporate greed gets corrupted to the point of inhumanity.

Nope.

People delivering flowers to the office, guy walks in with a massive set in a huge case, delivery guy says:
Either he is setting the bar really high, or he's in trouble. Here I am, at my desk, just being the only single person in my office. Writing a SQL proc for the same report I have been working on for the last month. Happy single awareness day everyone.

I hate coming into the office! It's cold, people microwave smelly food, and I can't break up my work sessions with some gaming or anime. I wish remote work wasn't seen as such a scary thing for companies.

So I'm in Italy, close to Milan, the biggest infected zone in the whole country.

I'm still going to work as we're in 2 people in the office and we're alone in a 90 square meters office, so no big deal after all.

My city is actually empty right now, so I'm just going from home to work speeding on my motorcycle (no really that speeding, since my motorcycle isn't that powerful)

So nothing really changed actually and I'm still working the same way I did before

People think I don't get angry easily at office. I just don't want to get angry, at least in real world.

My mind is constantly clouded with "throwing things away, smashing my computer to crumbs, telling people to go die, fuck off, punching faces, kicking butts, committing murders and nuking the whole world".

Only 2-3 people show up in the office (out of 38). Finally some peace to write some decent code.

This is how I scored my current job.

I worked at a local newspaper as a sole dev. Nobody knew what I did, neither did they care. The job was miserable, and so was I.

A small design bureau I partly knew, had moved into the building. I hang around in their office quite a bit. Not only because they were cool kids to be with, but also because I hated being in my own office.

One thing led to another, as they say. Eventually the design bureau offered me a job. I was too chicken to jump ship atm, so I declined at first. Then the newspaper had to fire people. It was the ultimate time to jump ship. And now I wasn't only offered a job, I was also offered a partner position.

I still feel kinda lonely, as none of the others are so "dev-y". But it sure as hell beats that crappy newspaper!

Computers are allowed to work remotely from their server rooms in the cloud but people are enforced to go to office.

Computers are superior to humans

My project manager just had a project review at a bar because there was no space at the office. There are literally so many people at the office that we're out of chairs. And space. In a few days three more developers are scheduled to arrive. I don't know where we will put them.

Seriously, why are so many companies caught up with if there developers working from home or not? Maybe it's where I'm at, but my last boss said ...

" I know you don't have any problem making deadlines and your a good worker, but you still need to come to the office in order to have face to face interaction."

Me: "This is the first face to face conversation I've had with someone in over a week."

Boss: (shrugs)"our goal is to build an office friendly environment where people will enjoy coming into the office"

Me: in my head "your an idiot"... Out loud "Ok"
...

In reality my custom built machine is better than yours, and I'm more productive in my Sealy Posturpedic chair and pajamas than your wack office chair with you popping your head out of your office every couple hours to "manage" me when you haven't written code in years and i have to teach you things that you bring to your boss to make yourself look smart.

[Warning! - Sob story ahead, you've been warned]

Dear devRant,
today someone who interviewed me in the last days, said they want to hire me.
Good news, right?
Professionally speaking yes, but... i don't know.

I always been a freelance: never had much work, but i was always free of doing whatever i liked and whenever (no fixed working hours).
I have a room in an office with 2 other people. People i love to hate (it's complicated).

But now i'm thinking about this new work they are offering me: no more freelance, no office, no flexibility. All with a 6 months contract.
What really scares me is that i will lose what i have... even the 2 co-workers that i hate/love: i have never been able to make friends, they are the thing that comes closer to friends in my life.

I'm feeling a void in front of me:
being an adult (35 years old...) and choose a work that pays, but loose... essentially what i am, what i have hardly build...
OR decline the job, and going on "Peter-Pan-style", living at my pace: free but constantly hoping of something good to happen to me

I don't know, really don't know... so many feeling are overwhelming me now.
And tomorrow i have to make a decision

3 months ago our company moved 10km away from where I live. So instead of 10 minutes to work, I now have 50 minutes. Great!

The moving was so rushed, they forgot to order a fucking internet connection.. So they panicked and bought 4x 4g modems and a 50 Mbit connection. This connection was then shared by the whole office of 50 people. The connection could barely handle our needs, and for 3 months all streaming or unnecessary use of the internet have been prohibited..

But today! It finally happened!
We got our fiber connection!
No more streaming from my phone!

Bye bye productivity!
Spotify and YouTube here I come!

internet connection "speed" in Germany might be the reason why so many people still queuing up on the roads on their way to an office despite being allowed to work from home at least in theory

Fuck WFH. I'm so tired of kids yelling. people eating, fucking noises and people leaving their desks for hour, and sayigg I'm sorry I was speaking on mute. Fuck WFH. Everybody needs to get their asses back to the office, and actually do the damn work.

WFH only works if you have kickass passionate people who love their job with an ounce of responsibility.

Sent an email to 4 people.

Got 5 out of office auto responses. WTF.

Good thing I don't have work to do 🙃

Nobody, nobody, nobody should accept an office-only position unless they actually want to work in an office. People who actually believe that everyone should go back into the office should be excommunicated from this field. This freedom we have needs to be protected for the best interest of the future.

there has to be a special place in hell for people who don't set their mobile phones to vibration while in office.
no john, latest tv show theme song as ringtone is not going to make you cool. you are just disturbing others.

something i (we) don't have to face in remote work. multiple folks around my seat had their ringer on.

So i got fired from a company with has a name similar to a burning forest.
I guess this is going to burn down someday as well.

I got fired for a shitty ass reason that doesn’t even make sense.
Just clarifying, i didn’t do drugs, no smoking or drinking or harassing anyone or cause fraud (frankly i wasnt senior enough to do one)

And the worst part, atleast 500 other people (these are all the ones that i shared an office floor with), also did it, and weren’t even investigated.

Join google, facebook, join any company you want, dont join this shithole.

Being frugal my ass, its just another term they have for being cheap.

Also people who are working there and are happy, wait till it happens with you!

Team Meeting with Senior senior manager(SSM) from headquarters.
Post lunch break (casual talks)
SSM: You all people in this office live in luxury. Each and every door has a security guard to open and close the door for all of you. HQ doesn't have these.
Me: So, does it mean that there are no doors or no security guards at the HQ?
Everyone in my team with a very big facepalm. Manager telling me not to get high after having the lunch.

Footnote: All my colleagues and my manager often tells me that I get high just by eating food.

My boss does this management by neglect thing - he is hardly in the office and mostly communicates in slack. Today it got really vague and ambiguous.

So - when 4 people don't understand your slack message - the obvious conclusion is that you hired 4 morons...

I think I’ve applied to 5 jobs that show up as “remote” now only to get halfway through a screening call and find out “oh, we’re looking for people in Albuquerque”.

Are my expectations out of whack? If you’re looking for someone in your city, you’re not looking for someone remote. You’re looking for a local worker who just has an office that’s not on your balance sheet.

Is it semantics?

Am *I* the bastard?

We have an open space at the office, and you can hear things people say in their teams meetings.
Most common question is: "When do you think you will be done with ... task?"

What I miss about not being a team lead is how I used to spend all my hours in the office coding. Just coding.

Crazy day full of challenges. Listening to dramatic music. 7 mins before end of day solve massive problem. Stand up and throw arms in air with a cheer! ... I work in an open office of 40 or so people. I got lots of weird looks. Took headphones off office was silent. Aaaaawkward

I still can't get it why people looks at IT people as lowlife. If you need a new computer in your office I can get the right spec and help you to buy it. But moving the computer table is not my job 😠

So, I put forward to the recruiter that my T&Cs are that I would like to work from home for a minimum of 3 days per week due to the travel time and traffic involved, and that the recruiter should put that forward to their client.

The recruiter received this in response...

"We would be open to looking at flexitime. In terms of days at the office, we would be need him to come to the office three to four days a week as communication is challenging when we have people working from home."

Have they never heard of Slack or Skype... or the Internet? Or am I missing something?

Open plan office. Distraction hell.

Phones ringing. Endless people walking past. People talking shite nearby. Constant interruption in one form or another.

WFH!! // worst
I've been social distancing myself from everyone, I don't even know how to properly function amongst people anymore o.O
I have a meeting at the office today, I'm so anxious as if I'm applying for a job there..in a field I've never worked on..flying there with a choper for the first time, me flying it of course.. naked & already on fire o.O Oh & I'm also wearing sweatpants as nothing else fits anymore..yaaaay.... Can't wait.. :/

In my office, it requires security clearance, but the office is sooo fucked up it takes months to get it sorted

So, now in the position of people knocking at doors, annoying you at your desk to take your pass, often for large periods,,, leaving me sweating when im dying for a piss

WTF is going through MGMT heads,

Of course im sitting next to the fucking door, so when u sitting down to do some nice code, fucking knock on the door,

And wouldnt mind but its the same fucking Wagon who smokes, pisses and chats on the phone like its a God damn super power, as i type this im looking over my divider and they're rolling yet another fucking smoke!

I need out of this fucking 7th ring of Dantes inferno hello hole

Gag SO, tie em up & suspend them in the air in the basement or attic..
Helps if SO is into BDSM..if not it's a bit awkward.. // joke, I don't even have an attic or basement.. :(

In all seriousnes, if anyone knows how to prevent people from knocking on the office door to ask if I want coffe or sth to eat, that'd be great..asking them to not disturb unless the house is on fire or they cut off their fingers clearly doesn't help.. :(

So despite being able to do my entire job much more effectively from home, it's been demanded that I go in 2 days a week that "show my face".

Upon getting to the office there's no parking spaces, I go round the carpark again and woohoo there's a space!! Awesome..

I come back a few hours later to work the afternoon from home and find 2 cars double parked behind me..

Both owners seem to be off site currently.......... I guess this is my life now sitting in the car park waiting for people to move their cars 😂

As much fun it is to code and create new features for users. Take a break from the computer and spend time with real people.

A few years ago I would stay at work to get tasks done. While everyone in the office would go home I would stay and finish some task. After doing that for a few months my wife started to yell at me.

It made me realize that no matter how important a new feature, a bug or optimizing code is family and the relationships you have are more important.

I hate office politics so fucking much. Now that most people aren’t face to face and everything is over chat and voice calls, people seem to get very weird about things that might be said and blow things out of context. If you have anxiety disorder or something fuck off!! You’re stressing the shit out of me and it’s already Christmas so I’m already stressed the fuck out!

It's 6am and I've already started my work day because I am my most productive first thing in the morning. When they debate against WFH and flexibility, they don't talk about how different people feel more awake and present at different times. I know devs who work better in the dead of the night. 9 to 5 in office just ain't it.

people with 8+ years of work from office experience, is 9-6 the only truth of work life? today in sprint planning, our manager suggested assigning 81 hours of tickets in a 2 week sprint and when a lot of us had 60-65 hours of work he was like "ehh it seems less . junior mgr , look into the softwares and create more tickets"

2 week sprint is 9 days +1 day for sprint planning + 2 sat Sunday 🥲 . additionally it takes me arohnd 2 hours to reach home so i try to get out by 5 pm and everyone starts staring at me. as am a bad example, i will probably be hearing from my manager in future about this.

need some tips on handling a stable work-office life. i am a covid graduate so i have seen a great wlb in work from home but its a true reality that for mext 30 years , the chances to work from home for more than 5 cumulative years is next to 0. so need a permanent office hack.

i don't think buttering boss's ass is a reliable solution . i just wanna be back at home by 7, do some workout, roam in car/watch series/work on hobby project (aka relaxing) eat and die on my bed for next day's horrific life

How are people writing documents/reports? Markdown/Latex in your fav editor and export to PDF? Word? Pages? Libre Office?

I use Markdown, via VSCode, Bear, iA Writer, Marked and then push to PDF. If I have to, then export to DOCX.

Fuck office politics!

Fuck the backstabbers with the knife that vegan black metal chef is using!

Also fuck those blame-gamers that blame other people from the team constantly but stealthy, you know the kind, the one that poisons everyone little by little by its subtle toxicity!

Answering several emails per day from annoying customers.

Estimating expenditures of possible future projects for offers.

Calls from the management. Calls in general.

People coming into my room in the office (where I sit with 2 other programmers) just to have a call, because it's quieter in this room than in the rest of the office.

Nothing distracts me more than people eating in an otherwise quiet office. It makes me so livid that i usually leave the room for a coffee refill or bathroom break and hope they are done by the time I'm back.

I can code while holding a conversation, I barely even notice when people do phone calls or skype meetings next to me, but hearing people chew and breathe through their nose while smelling their lunch just annihilates me.

Remote work (for the software industry, at least) is PERFECT and I still haven't heard a single argument against it that could not be derived into one of the following explanations:
- the complainer is/has a terrible manager
- the complainer has a shitty house
- the complainer has a shitty family
- the complainer is a shitty person
Naturally I mean only real-adult healthy people who work in the software industry.

I will now list the complaints I have heard more often. All fit neatly in the categories above:
- "my family interrupts me a lot, require lots of attention and/or creates an environment I cannot work in" - in this case it is very irresponsible of the complainer to try and escape to an office. If the adults you live with cannot get by without you, how going to an office will help them? If you can't teach your children to behave, who will?

- "my house is noisy and/or uncomfortable" - move out! if you can go to the office, you can look for another place to live.

- "I need in person conversations to understand people / zoom meetings are a waste of time" - why? do you need the smell of other people to properly organize your thoughts? Yes, meetings are extra-shitty during the pandemic. But pandemics come and go and your terrible time management skills won't simply improve themselves. Learn to lead better meetings instead of blaming the medium.

- "I miss face-to-face interactions at work" - Those do not miss you. If you want to have personal conversations, do it *out of working hours* with consenting adults. If you want to have personal touch in work contexts, it is called "sexual harassment" and is a crime.

- "my employees / colleagues are not as effective without me breathing at their necks" - you are a terrible manager and leader if you can't inspire people in words only. Maybe even video.

My main point is, there is no argument against WFH. When people try to argue against it, they often actually mean "I don't like the pandemic". No shit. Life will be better after people stop dieing for breathing close to their friends and family. In the mean time, learn to organize your life instead of running away from it every day.

Have you ever been to love theatre? How many times? Have you ever seen a movie? How many?
Why so many more movies than live theatre? You think you would have liked the movies, and their price, more if it was live theatre? Would you have seen as many?
WFH is not perfect for everybody in the planet. But it sure is for the software industry.

My boss is the CEO of the company, it's a small company with less than 15 people altogether. Now in the office it's even less there's 7 of us every day, the rest are remote or the boss.

The boss last week Thursday night sent an email talking about vacations, keep in mind she's currently on her third vacation in 6 months.

In the email she says no one but 'special' exceptions will be allowed to take summer vacations from now on, and if you would like to take your vacation you have to give a minimum of 4 months prior notice

Now I personally don't take vacations, (never needed to, no job before this was stressful enough to make me want to take one) but everyone else in the office is working on their resume's and planning to quit before the new year.

apparently being overworked and thrown under the bus time and time again, as well as an abhorrent number of other issues isn't enough to make people quit . but take away their vacations in the most hypocritical way possible and that's the straw that breaks the camels back.

I finally got a car, I've been practicing driving, and hopefully before September I'll have my license and that'll make it easy for me to get out too before things start collapsing too fast.

What's worse in an open office?

A) Music
B) People

(Shamelessly stolen from Twitter, credit @dustin)

I just started using noise canceling earbuds and holy cow does it change things.

People talking and traffic blasting down the street in front of our office are my two biggest distractions on any given workday and I haven't heard any of it all day. It's heavenly.

I also have a brown noise machine I sleep next to and I've started dreaming again because I get actual restful sleep again.

There are at least 3 posters in the bathrooms at the office saying please put the toilet seat down before you leave, yet people still can't do that

I've seen a few posts on here; exclaiming their disdain when it comes to people finding out about how good they are with computers. And while yes Programming has nothing to do with "fixing" computers; I myself don't mind fixing other people's computers. It's fun and it's usually not completely related to programming. So that means I'm not really doing my job outside of the office.

I work for a quite small company (4 people) and about 3 years ago, there was this guy from Bolivia who was an intern for graphics and similar stuff, nothing related to programming.

Turns out we got to be quite friends and still hang out from time to time now.

Best thing was when boss wasn't at the office for like a week and we hadn't much to work on, so we spent time smoking, eating, chatting and watching movies... very great time!

Last week I had a meeting with a client at their office and I got an invitation to a BBQ with some other people that evening. So I went to that BBQ and when I wanted to leave he said we could go laser gaming in their building.
That was awesome!! 😱

So yeah, you could say I've made friends. Not only because of programming, but also in the process of getting a new project.

I never yell at co-workers but I did get yelled at quite a lot of times (2019 - pre covid).

I was leaving the office on time.

Just another reason I support people working from home.

I can't believe how a voice in my head is telling me to end my WFH and start going to the office.

Like, when we talk about promotions, surely my boss will give promotions to those people who are physically there, giving the boss a sense of dedication towards the job.

I know the workload isn't going to change, because work is work regardless whether you're home or not.

Also, my WFH job has gotten quite monotonous. It's a little too comfortable, if that makes sense. Another reason to seek a change.

I don't know, Am I just overthinking this?

So, I was buying a new WiFi connection, had some doubts about the speed, visited the Regional Office Incharge for a demo... Asked him the speed... Dude didn't know the difference between MBps and Mbps... Pretty much gave up on the service provider.
How the fuck people hire such dumb fucks.

Im thinking about leaving my employer because I keep getting way too much work on my plate, people get annoyed that its not done in time and tell me that i should tell them if im getting too much work.
So i tell them its to much and our deadlines are to tight, then i just get told "this is how we always work, we just gotta finish things faster and better"...

Another one is that our HR/office manager keeps bugging me about setting up SMART goals so i can prove my value to the company and that its my responsibility to do so if i want a pay raise (even if im already underpaid)...
Im sorry but if you wanna keep me, you gotta give me some damn incentive to stay...

Ive been putting up with it sofar because i like the office and the people and the majority of the work itself and i really dont wanna go looking for another job because im really bad at it... but wtf... im so done with all the "how does this work" questions too...

tl;dr: getting negative reviews because im bad at my own evaluation is gonna make me quit probably, while im being praised for all other work i do

Fucking hate 2 face people in the office. Grrr Developer is the worst job in history!!!!

I forgot i work with complete snowflakes. It's about time you all melt away and do us a favour.

Anyone else enjoy "uncropping" images embedded in MS Office documents? People cropping out other windows/tabs from full screenshots... I've seen some weird stuff!

It's not unusual to be sent documentation / screenshots saved as MS Office documents (Word, PowerPoint etc.). Kinda annoying but whatever.

Today is a funny Monday: all the people at office forgot their keys at home (me included, also boss included) Until we can enter the office, I'm going to code at public library. At least I'm happy to carry portable Notepad++ in my pendrive!!

Anyone else find they work better between the hours of say 10am - 2am rather than the "normal office hours" of 9am - 5pm?
The problem is if I start later then the people who I work with are so absorbed in their work that I don't receive a reply to my email.

What kind of pranks have you had in your office when people leave their desk without locking their computer?

In an office where I used to work, we would send an email from the offender's account to the extended org about how he/she loves bacon.

One guy would start sending messages to every personal IM contact: "you suck." Over and over.

I have noticed I have had great success using another co-worker as a metaphorical rubber duck (sometimes intentionally, sometimes unintentionally). It improves my productivity vastly. However, I know that it probably distracts others when I am using them in that way.

That's why I want to buy a literal rubber duck and talk to it. I could do it very quietly and most of my close co-workers use noise-cancelling headphones 80% of time while sitting at their desks. My only concern is other people passing by my desk would think that I am weird. My desk is in an open space and several people pass by it every hour. (however on my floor besides developers we have HR, marketing and people from high up who might be unfamiliar with the rubber duck method).

Is it unprofessional to talk to a rubber duck at the office?

I thought other people were weak for having to rely on coffee to be productive. God I was wrong. Now I am the worst caffeine addict in the office.

At 12:38 AM, I am working in the office alone on a project that I hate with my guts.

Since last month I am feeling nothing. In the morning I don't want to get up and go to the office. I do not feel any excitement in my job. Even I hate talking to people, I still have to join 4 meetings and talk to them.

As the Project Manager, I hate taking responsibility for other people's code.

Writing emails to stupid business people and talking to them at the meeting, I hate those people.

I have worked for almost 16 hours per day for 2 months to finish this project. Even worked on Sunday. The project is not finished. The scope and requirement get changed daily. The client has no fucking idea of what they want.

I have no fucking idea what I want to in my life. I just want to go home and get a good fucking sleep.

Whoever is reading this, I hope you have better time in your life than me.

And please tell them this will get better. I need to hear it.

My manager during my internship in 2007 was very prone to screaming.
She took the position, because more senior staff than her didn't want it and she wanted to be in charge of them.
When people didn't deliver the results she wanted she would call them in the office, start yelling them and saying they were incompetent and demean them. And even though we were a small open office, she would send us messages through MSN Messenger (it was the it thing back then), to check on our progress or ask us to go to her office which was the room next to us.
I met many wonderful people during my internship, but I was more than glad when it finished. A couple of years later I've learnt that the branch she was managing was terminated because everyone slowly started quitting. I can't imagine why...

Currently at my work they are making everyone assist to the office at least 1 day of the week, some people live in other cities, there is even one coworker that has to take a flight once a month. We don't even do anything different on the office, same work, nobody likes to come.

When the anti-tech departments pretend that remote work don't exist and annoy people about things that really don't matter, specially when you are not in the office. Like massage chairs or birthday cakes for someone you never/hardly ever met.

(bullshit departments like celebrations, facilities, marketing, culture, I swear I'm not making those up)

I bet we have people working in the same office that don’t know that they see each others Rants😅

I understand that some people have trouble with home office.

Well. I don't.

But at least have the fugging frigging respect and
1) answer my bloody questions, especially if I'm frigging nice and make a questionaire and notify you without a shitty meeting.
2) when you ask for an appointment during non working hours.... Then don't be fucking late and especially don't fucking miss it without telling.
3) And don't... Don't fucking give me a bullshit excuse like "yeah, I forget".
At least an honest apology....

I'm currently really close to murder people or call an meeting where I declare that waiting for appointments will be counted as work time.

(hint: this is the fucking sixth time in 4 weeks someone fucked up. And I'm really pissed)

When people get their fuckin dicks hard when something minor and petty happens to someone / some people in the office... And the gossiping that ensues.... Some fuckin people need to get a fuckin life.

Isn't it weird that the name James is not Jame but James? Because I would assume James would be the plural of Jame because what if there are two people with the name James in the room... Would we say
"There are two Jameses/James's/ jamessis"...
Also if it's James's wouldnt that be for nouns etc like James's bag....
Sorry this has been bothering me for two days.
I asked this in office and people thought I had lost the plot so I AM AWARE IM CRAZY.

So i started an (8 month) internship in January. Team of 4 (2 senior/mid level devs + boss) plus 6 or so other people in our other office overseas. Everything was going really well IMHO. Boss's feedback for halfway through the internship was good too.

First 4/5 months were great: loved the team, got feedback and help when i needed it, wasn't stuck doing support too much, etc.

This all changed when both the devs moved to our other office. My boss works from home a lot and has frequent meetings, so i hardly see him. I have a 1 hour window first thing in the morning if i need help from the devs overseas. After that im on my own.

If i get stuck, even on something very small that a more senior dev could explain in 2 minutes, I'm stuck either unable to work or figuring it out (wasting hours of time) for the rest of the day.

On top of this, since I'm the only one around in our office, im stuck on support every week which takes hours of my time usually. Last week support ate up most of my week, which put me way behind schedule on my other work. (That was an unusually busy week of support.)

Feeling incredibly frustrated right now, just wanted to get this off my chest.

Today I talked to a cousin who works in Tata Consultancy Services (TCS) and he told me precisely why companies like Infosys, TCS and Wipro are moving towards ending WFH and mandating working from office.

He told me that post-COVID hires are treating these software jobs so casually, that they don't ask for leaves. They decide, on their own, when they want to take leave(s) without telling their team members.

They don't pick up phone calls when someone from upper management tries to reach out and they magically show up 3-4 days later. They don't value deadlines.

He told me that these companies do see the benefit of letting people work from home, but the new generation hires are creating a joke out of these positions and are taking blatant advantage of the situation. So they are forced to mandate working from office.

!dev

So my boss sent me a facebook request when he used to work with me. He is young, good looking. I kind of had a crush on him.
I didn't like that he sent me the request (he's friends with everyone in the office) but I accepted as it didn't seem a big deal.

Now when he's gone, I sent him a request on another social media( thought it will be safer now), that guy just ignored the request.

Seriously what's wrong with these people. (or with me)

COV-SARS-2 rant!!
I know most of us engineers/developers/etc are quite introverted people, who are happiest when we are left alone with our best friends (we all know who/what those are 👨🏼‍💻), but I miss working with colleagues in the office, and seeing some faces as well :(
Discussing plans over hangouts/slack can sometimes be cumbersome, compared to face-to-face conversations 🤷‍♂️

Yay finally summer started
Ye no fuck that
After being "migrated" into a newer smaller office and getting another team member we are now three people on about 5 square meters of space.

Another good thing is that we don't have an air conditioning unit in the new room and gained a few more PCs.
Oh and did I mention that we are on the sunny side of the building now.

Basically we are working in Satan's Asshole now. Good thing is that I am working on a thermometer now.
35 degrees Celsius is still alright isn't it?

Oh and our fan broke today.

Recruiter called me to present me a job in fintech.

Arguing about how work standards are important and that task oriented work culture is great.

....

Recruiter (can’t find any argument): All people work in office. It’s financial institution they need to protect privacy.

Me: AWS on last summit presented show case of whole bank from EU in their cloud infrastructure.

....

And we argued for at least 10 minutes where me was talking about losing time and task oriented workplace with specified goals and listening about how brilliant people are there and how much they believe in opensource.

I started believing they want me to go to work to indoctrinate me and make me corporate pig.

Hell no I am to old for that.

the worst thing about working in an office, is the other people in the office ...

Survived my second layoff at this company in less than 2 years. Feeling bitter sweet.

When I joined there was about 50 people here and now there is a little more than 15.

I think the way this company has done the layoffs have been humiliating to the people getting laid off. The “higher ups” will request that everybody be in the office for a company-wide meeting around noon. Then at around 11am that day, they will individual take people into conference rooms and lay them off. By the time the company-wide meeting starts, they’ve laid off all the people they needed.

Why lay people off infront of the whole rest of the company? I don’t see any reason

My previous boss. He is a very cool guy. He treat us lunch and dinner sometimes. We always have a conversation topic like existentialism and being in a subconscious state of mind, because most people I met is just very basic. He also owns an office where we are all working in. we watch porn together at night, gossip about hot girls nearby the office area and curse a lot. I love laid back person like him. Also he's humble as fuck.

Got pulled away from the beauty of code yet again today to moonlight as tech support. Two people in my office got "bitlockered" in the same day... Imagine turning on your computer and finding out it needs a bitlocker recovery key when you never enabled bitlocker. Thanks Windows 10 + Dell.

Companies: We're starting to rotate people back through the office

Devs all drinking their desks: Please no

Have you been rude and aggressive to the friends and family because you are tired of the bullshit of your office people but you can't yell at them because you really need that job and can't afford getting fired yet? be honest!

I see a lot of people on this weekly rant telling they go lunch, read a book, play guitar...

And then i look at me, working in an office, only being able to silently cry in front of the screen.

As I mentioned in previous rants
The company that I work for is very loud and noisy, making it really hard to code.

First day in new office, bigger space in the same building....PEOPLE HAVE COMPLAINED ABOUT THE NOISE AND LOUDNESS

FIRST. DAY.

Sorry guys, I have complained too they dont care.

Ford vs Ferrari shows everything wrong with upper management. They are a bunch egoistic pricks in suits who have nothing better to do than play office politics and take credit for the hard work of people under them.

One of the best movie I have ever seen. Made me wanna smell some oil and grease.

So my office tends to have seating rearrangements every few months due to the amount of people increasing in the company. In the 1 year that we moved to this office, I have been lucky to not have moved seats drastically.

Today though my team got moved to a new area. The previous area was already pretty small, the new area is even smaller where dual monitors JUST fit on the desk. With more people being hired by the month, there's going to be no more room again. I really wish the company would look at just hiring actual talented staff rather than hiring just to meet demands. Again, it's all about quality, not quantity!!

What hours do you work?

I work 9-6, most people at my office work 7-4 or 8-5. I have the flexibility to work when I want, but never get to bed early enough to start earlier than 9. I feel behind when I get in the office because most of my coworkers and clients have already been at for an hour or 2.

When do you work and why? Can you tell if it’s impacted your career at all?