We have a lot of monitoring screens on walls at my work... Some of them show charts... The one showing the last two months of mailbox database growth has started taking an odd shape.

I have got 99 problems and emoji encoding ain't one of them.

P.S. /r/softwaregore

How to kill a lot of Linux users in one go without being accused of murder:

1) Write on social media "which is the best Linux distro and why?"
2) Watch them fight and kill each other
3) Profit

I've got 99 problems and all of them are priority one.

If you put a million monkeys at a million keyboards, one of them will eventually write a Java program.

The rest of them will write Perl programs.

How to check stupid people..(i am one of them)
Ready?
Let's go...
3
2
1....[read more]

!rant

You know those dudes that dress up spiffy and try to sell you cable providers for tv and shit. Well, i normally stream everything from my computers and do not really have any need for actual tv, my flatscreen is mostly used for my ps4 or switch and das it.

So these guys stop me at walmart and start trying to sell me this provider, i normally listen and give everyone a chance since they b only doing their job. Afterwards I tell them that i use one of those roku or amazon sticks and that I am fine with it. Well one of them insists in that those are not good since **fake made up technical shit** and that unless I am a programmer I would not know how to work around them.

I smile. Hehe.....hehe.....muahahahaha and tell them that I do not worry about such things since I am a software engineer. My wife passes by and confirms "yup, computer scientist, spends his days thinkering with shit"

One of them looks at the other and says "fuck it dude we lost"

Lol, gracious in the face of defeat.

I bought 4 of them to introduce Dev rant to my three collegues (one is for myself of course). Hopefully we can welcome them soon here.

Left one of the demo macs at Best Buy with vim running on a terminal shell. Let's see how long it takes for them to exit vim.

I've seen a lot of weird graphs in my life, but this one beats all of them...

Day 17 : they still don't know I'm doing some Cobol. They think I'm one of them.

I was once at a hackathon and got into a team with some people out of the same company. They brought all of their fancy tools with them, which no one understood except for them.
They ended up doing all of the back-end and I designed a f***** logo, some slides and bored myself to death for the remaining 18 hours or so.

I just updated my website to be GDPR compilant. (hopefully). It was the last one.
I'm so pissed right now. I have invested tens of hours for this FUCKING SHIT. I'm not against privacy regulations - I appreciate them. But this is not the way to enforce them IMO.

Am I the only one who tries to learn several things at the same time but never finishes any of them.

"Hey Dad, what did you guys do before we all had self driving cars?"
"Well we just drove them ourselves"
"Wow, and no one died that way?"
"Haha oh no, millions of people died son"

There should be a TV show where junior programmers make a software and then one famous senior programmer finds bugs, yell at them and fixes it. The name of the show will be "Coding nightmares".

Theres only 2 kinds of people in this world:

1. var username;
2. var user_name;

Hint: one of them will burn in hell

Work your ass off for a month, packaging new software and deploying them. No one says anything.

One of our guys uploads a new autoupdating food menu provided by another company to our intranet. Takes a few minutes.
”OMG! You should be rewarded!”
”Employee of the month!”
”IT award of the month!
”Have my babies!”

:|

Coworker: "can you help me with this thing?"
Me: "sure, what have you tried so far"
Them: "nothing yet"

Hdhajsgrbeiry JUST TRY _SOMETHING_ AT LEAST BEFORE ASKING FOR HELP.

It's literally your job to solve problems, not get other people to solve them for you.

Asking for help if you don't understand something is one thing, but constantly trying to get people to show you exact examples is not doing your job.

This has been a chronic problem with one of our devs and despite advising them multiple times on it, it continues to happen.

Oooh, got one. Not a question, but a mind-blowing moment:

For some reason, my parents put my email address on one of their accounts, and it was an old one that I had stopped using years ago. Then, this conversation with my parents happens, at their home with the laptop I gave them sitting open on the table:

me: "you guys should probably give them your email address."
mom: "we don't have one."
me: "what about dad's?"
dad: "no, I don't have an email address."
me: "you used to have one. what happened to it?"
dad: "that one was at the library. I don't have one here."
me: 😑

My father apparently doesn't know the basic concept of the internet and its global nature.

I didn't know any one of them, we just meet at the TADHack last week end. Because my team members apologies at the last moment, I joined one of them who forgot his laptop. The third came after five minutes asking "can I join"?
We established a team from three different backgrounds, and started the work. Each one built what he know, and we integrated all of it together.
Luckily, we won.... I enjoyed these weekend...

Random thought coming through

Emojis are UTF-8 and there are a TON of them. Wouldn't a password made out of Emojis be way more secure than a normal one?

I found one of these in person :D

I had seen them on here before, but now I've seen one myself lmao

So Pubs are open again I Ireland.. went to n that were all booked out.. but after 40min of wandering around I got a single corner in one of them.

Let me tell you one thing. You might pour good pints but NO ONE can serve a pint like an Irish pub. Soooo gooood and creamy.. fuck, i missed this.

When you group asks you to write some code to kick two people out of the team randomly.... and you are one of them :(

One of our internal customers to my team: "We need this new feature to be implemented as soon as possible! It's super urgent!! Work on it asap!! PEOPLE ARE DYING!!"

Us: "Ok, we'll prioritize this feature and deliver it as soon as we can"

Them: "Is it ready yet?"

Them: "Is it ready yet?"

Them: "Is it ready yet?"

Them: "Is it ready yet?"

... One month later ...

Them: "Is it ready yet?"

Us: "We're done! We implemented everything as promised! Please give us your credentials so that we can whitelist you and you can start using the new service"

Them: "Okay, we will get back to you"

... Two months have passed since then and still not a single word from them. I'm starting to wonder: are they still alive? 🤔

Just rm -rf all the projects from my computer instead of one folder.
Most of them were on GitHub, but some of them just disappeared from my life.
Hope it wasn't nothing important, I don't really remember.
FML

When you get fed up of using up and down keys to initiate commands, so you just create 2 extra command prompts and color code them so you know which one does what.

Simplicity is a prerequisite for reliability.

I put those words on the wall in giant vinyl letters, and I point to them every time someone asks me "can you add a frontend button which checks this external API and stores the correlation between the amount of rain and the sales numbers of purple buttplugs inside the user profiles?"

People always ask for one more column in a table, one more paragraph under an image — they never ask for replacement or removal of items.

So I force them. Want a feature? Fine, if you point at something of equal or greater complexity to delete.

Unpopular dev opinion:

I like ending lines of code with semicolons. It helps add structure and organization. My code feels naked without them. After learning to code in JavaScript and Java, it's force of habit to put them, and python's lack of them is one of the reasons I hate it's syntax

Maybe I'm old fashioned. All the hipster languages either make semicolons optional or usually actively discourage them

Idk I like them though

I took a course in app programming and one of the assignments was to create an "instagram-like" photo app with some simple filters. One of them was pixelate.
Instead of changing the RGB value of each individual pixel, i just saved the image in a lower resolution.
The result wasnt perfect, but good enough to pass.
And the teacher never even looked at the code..

I've hit 20GB ram usage with chrome today, with a total of 6018 tabs, spanning across 10 virtual desktops, it took 3 minutes to onetab them into one. 😰

Our team changed to Linux about 3 years ago already and I can see some of them struggling to insert some commands when I'm talking to them.

How the fuck do you struggle to `cd` into a fucking directory?

Ok,ok... I've linuxing full time for 8 years already, I understand I've been through this... But come on! If some one said to me on day ONE "dude, you can cd /full/path/of/fucking/whatever" or " ~/ means home" I would be doing it from day one.

Probably I'm overreacting but wtf dudes? 3 years... Step up your game.

If you put a million monkeys on a million keyboards, one of them will eventually write a Java program.

You know you're the only coder in your group of friends when one of them mistypes "cmakin coffee then I'll be on" and
A.) You're the only one to laugh
B.) You're wondering how the hell he's compiling coffee
C.) Lastly, why won't my coffee compile?

A Dell laptop was described on its own website as 'this one is worth having' . I am glad they agree for the rest of them!

One of these commits due to german network structures.
Everybody wants apps. And expects them to run it in smallest villages

If you put a million monkeys on a million keyboards, one of them will eventually write a Java program. The rest of them will write Perl programs.

Life can't be too bad when most of your spam calls are from recruiters. It made me emotional to remember 4 years ago when I was the one calling to them.

Come on dfox! Where's our setting that lets up auto-opt out of these! D;

I just had to go through one after another so I would stop getting them.

At a mobile developer desk:

- 1 PC
- 1 Mac (for iOS Build)
- 2 Android phones and one tablet
- iPhone, iPad
- a lot of cables, too many of them

One of my favorite things on vacation is to lazily read through work e-mails, spot threads where my opinion/decision is required, and completely ignore them as my boss spirals into utter panic.

I am one of them 😂😂

Common lies told by developers?
Here's one of mine: "It works on my screen".
I then proceed to ask them their specs while I think of the solution.

Refreshing the Let's Encrypt certificates, one of them wasn't applying properly.. couldn't find the issue for like 15 minutes...

Eventually I realized that I was refreshing the wrong domain 😅

My former teammates used to store multiple local copies on their computers, as a form of version control, and pass bits of code on USBs to share their work.

I gave them a fair warning about the importance of working with git, and then one night, I just stole all of their HDDs, leaving them codeless.

I keep a backup of most installers because I have a poor internet connection.
Imagine my disappointment when one of them is just a downloader for the full installer.

<noRant>
When one of the clients has technical background and knows what's possible and useful. I even like to have meetings with them, they are always really productive
</noRant>

So, I recently set up fail2ban on one of our new servers. In 4 days we got 16k failed SSH login attempts. Found out that most of them were from South Korea. A few months back one of our competitors failed to have a deal with our organization. Interestingly, they were a South Korean. Lol.

Somebody added me in a Flat Earthers' group in facebook, and they all say the nastiest things about NASA. One of them showed this image :/ Like you could really hack NASA with HTML CSS :/

Me: *adds one song from Sonic game to Spotify playlist*
Spotify: Here, from now on we will suggest you ALL OF THEM and ONLY THEM

"Shit, redefined."
"Shit, reinvented"
"One shit to rule them all!"
"A new era of bullshit"
"The world's 1st portable pile of shit!"

-> Typical Kickstarter slogans... 
Seriously I found at least five campaigns using them! Wtf how uncreative can you be!?

Found three questions on different websites, each describing exactly the problem I'm having right now. Neither one of them has a solution... FUCK.

My biggest insecurity?

That I'm fascinated by a lot of domains and rather than mastering one I'm just intermediate in all of them, making me a jack of all trades but a master of none.

Pressing that “deploy to production” button when it usually consists of multiple projects and databases updating at once.

Maybe I should look at separating them one year.

I've seen several posts now regarding Linux, Windows and how one of them is better.

Can we just stop?
Has nobody ever heard about dual-boot?
You can actually use both lol.

One of my clients once assumed that paying me 12$ for the domain entitled them a year of content writing and web development.

Seven hours of meetings this week, and every. single. one. of them could have been an email.

How can they expect me to get anything done when all I’m doing is listening to them drone on and on and …

And of course this shouldn’t affect the deadlines. No siree! But can I work during them? Not a chance! … Totally do anyway …

Every time I got a mandatory security question, I type in "go fuck yourself with a cactus". There's only one answer for all of them.

- Learn any language beside the ones I use at work
- Have a beta of a game I've been thinking about for some time
- Find a coder friend

I would be happy by just accomplishing one of them ;_;

!rant
> Joins voice chat with friends
> They're talking about virtual data quantities.
> One of them mentions petabyte.
> Everybody except me proceeds by making jokes about how "petabyte" sounds like dog food and other miscellaneous things.

So I got a couple of C.H.I.P. single-board computers a good while back because Raspberry Pi Zero was always out of stock.

I named them pringles, the smooth and synthetic one with a GUI, and ruffles, the sturdier and rugged one with a headless OS.

...They still lack a definitive purpose in life.

first off, they've defined (just yesterday) FOUR (not ONE) features to be done by the end of the month (yes really no joke, i mean _this_ month, as in october, i.e. they mean by monday)

four of them still have "to be defined" labels

so, what, you guys gonna define those today so we have uh.... all of friday to do them?

🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡

This is one of the most infuriating things Apple has ever done to me. I have my spaces set up exactly how I want them. STOP RUINING THEM! Took me longer than I'd like to admit to find this little check box.

Okay, fuck it. I'm going to buy $20 worth of every penny crypto currency until one of them explodes making me a millionaire

This is big brain time

After EVERY. FUCKING. RESTART... I have to delete one of my keyboard layouts and re-add it so Im able to switch between them. Its been a YEAR now! But hey! Notepad has tabs now! M$...Bunch of glue sniffing monkeys...

I can understand one variable . . . But all of them?

Currently work in HR and among others I used to recruit cleaning ladies. They often don't care to much for rules so sometimes one them just doesn't show up, doesn't answer phone calls or mails. Couple of years ago, one of our own colleagues did the same.. It is known among colleagues as 'pulling a Copperfield' as they just disappear. :)

One fine day, at work, I was doing one of my favourite things.

git push origin test:mainline

And it prompted for my credentials. I gave them and continued as per yooozh..

What I didn't realise then was that I had used my personal github credentials instead of my official account's!

Oops.

Day 3 - and no one has noticed yet...

oh fuck there's no toilet paper i just wanna buy ONE SIX-PACK OF THEM OK

Seems like the ad spammers are quite active recently. I‘m worried.

Also: fuck every single one of them human scum.

Bought a series on Amazon, "Normal People". Trailer was English, my profile is set to Germany/English, but when I started the film, it was the German dubbing audio, with no option to switch to English. Could be worse, as I am a native German, but often 80% of the original atmosphere of anything gets lots by translation and German studio speakers.

Just in case staff at Amazon wonder why I rarely watch nor buy anything from them, this is one of the reasons. Of course they wouldn't, I'm just one in a million customers, but fuck them anyway.

After using so much VIM and VIM key binds in other IDEs, a piece of me dies every time I have to code without them.
Am I the only one?

> turning the whole codebase into a muddy ball of dirt because the leader didn't like 1 (one) call to an async function on startup

Way to go buddy, you sure show them how it's done.

Co-Worker laughed at me for taking a task on their side project and only them have worked at it. FYI i've never worked as a Dev before and I have a really low knowledge of web developing. Well i finished the task in time and sent the pull request to one of them. Got a 'well done dude, high five'. Feels good man :)

Found this on Facebook... Should I be the one to tell them that apple didn't invent emoji and that the flags are all of countries?

I'm Australian and respect our natives but... Really?

Sending an email to one of my clients at 3:52 AM informing them about repairs he requested. 4:05 gets the reply. Fml (still, went to sleep)

I'm the only one who hates the idea of "overemployment" (people which hoards lots of remote jobs and then split their attention between them while getting a full time salary from each of them)?

If these guys believes to be so good and productive (and some of them definitely are) entrepreneurship or working as independent contractors/consultants is always a great viable options instead of trying to become multi millionaires by "stealing" good jobs which may instead lift people who have very little from poverty or bad jobs.

Back in the days, before apache, I wrote a plugin for all Mac web servers that worked like mod_rewrite.

Had a user base of >20.000 users and one of them was the webmaster of Apple 😎

@dfox bug report time (at least it looks like one)!

I have ~400 upvotes atm.
For shoes in pic you need 1500 of them.
How i did this?
I equipped them when they were free afaik.

Hundreds of PHP files with same name and _# at the end to differentiate them - each containing hundreds of
$(document).ready(function() {
$(some_slector).on(some_event, function() {
//one line of code
}
}

Never thought I'd become one of those people who get really annoyed when my code works first time. I know I've made a mistake... why can't you be obvious!

"If a million monkeys were typing on computers, one of them will eventually write a Java program. The rest of them will write Perl programs." — Anonymous

Whilst on vacation in the UK, I came across a store that sold Kinects for 2.50 £ each, as no one would buy them. I couldn't resist and bought three of them, I have one more at home.

... Any idea what to do with them? 😅
My current idea is building a 3D scanner for humans 🤔

There are so many. One that gave a lot of warm fuzzies, was when I was teaching pointers in a C++ class, and as I was describing them, watching the faces as the light bulbs came on one by one. You have to understand, these weren't school students, these were professional Devs adding another language to their coding toolbox. It was so cool!

only if students would write proper answers in their answer sheet, that would be great. FFS one of them wrote HTML - HyperText Transfer Protocol.

Classmates? More like FUCKING PARASITES!

I work in a group on for on the notes using google docs, for realtime collaboration. WE spend lots of hours in school making them something. Then share it with one good friend and BANG the whole class has them, even though he was not supposed to share it. AND DO YOU EXPECT ONE OF THEM EVEN THANKED US FOR THE WORK WE PUT IN THERE MAKING THESE? The most I heard were fucking complaints. I should let the sniff a razerblade for each complaint and hope they improve their brain capabilities to the level of 0.

Apple fanboys justify the removal of audio jack as simplification of design. How the fuck am i supposed to find those damn pods if i misplace them. and what uf your bluetooth pods are shit and i want a different one. Fucking idiots.

I knew I had found the right group of friends when one of them suggested we try SQL Injection on the instant messaging feature of the bowling alley console.

Unrelated, do people not think, "hmm, that seems like an unnecessary feature?"

999 frameworks that do the same thing and every year 1 of them becomes the fad and many things written in last year's fad gets rewritten in new one.

In the last 3 days I have managed to burn my tongue twice because of hot coffee and I have always wondered for which idiots they write 'caution, contents hot' on the cups.

I guess I am one of them

Have 3 projects due in a week, two of which are partner projects. One of them has 6 other members in the group and I've only met 5 of them, one of them being two days ago for the first time. The other member has not replied to any emails from any of us, and we've had this project for three weeks now. Either do your homework or get the fuck out. We are also suppose to present it in class for our final... Group projects in college suck

When you are waiting in the cold for first robotics with a bunch of devrant users and one of them complains about being cold.

I hate this trend. Take up the whole screen for one big nothing. Yep, 1920x1080 is apparently not enough to show me more than motto, one link and freaking big image nobody care about.

Fuck, i must code it. Oh damn, there is 8 same sections on the whole page. Don't worry, not a single one of them worth reading! FUCK YOU designers!

Client told me that they have two workers with very similar names (one letter difference) and customers constantly send emails to the wrong person because of this.

She asked me if there is anything I could do to fix this?

What the hell am I supposed to do? Tell one of them to get their name changed?

This one recruiter keeps calling me and leaving me messages on different phone numbers (mixed landline and mobile phones) and I have to block them all.

How unprofessional of an agency to continue harassing a candidate if they're not interested. I've muted their numbers now.
And this is not about being interested either on their side - I know them. They're full of recruiters whose sole purpose is getting their fat ass promoted by use of candidate database and track record filling. One of them even had the nerve to tell me he got promoted and how wonderful it is.
I think I'm gonna make a request to delete my data.

Can you guys believe this?

Do you guys find strolling through super markets and putting things in the basket one by one while crossing them out of list therapeutic

Am I weird?

I know I'm writing the correct integration tests when each one I add uncovers a new bug.

Still, it would be nice if just one of them passed first time.

choose one of them :)

When you touchbase on all multiple languages but don't know any of them properly.

Focus on one. Focus on one. **talks to self**

We have the funniest and weirdest conversations during lunch, most of them not dev related. Have been thinking about ranting them for a while now because they are just good fun.

The following one brought a bit of a discussion so It convinced me to post it because i would like to hear all of your opinions about this one:

Imagine that one day you come home and there is a (deep) clone of yourself having sex with your wife, what would you do?

We got divided into 3 groups mostly.
Group one would send him away and let him life his own life.
Group two would make use of the fact that there are 2 of them.

Group three would murder him, the explanation Why Was quite interesting, because it was the first instinct of them, it would also have been from the clone, that's why that had to.

Again I would like to hear what you all would do :)
Maybe if this one does okay I will post more stories

My work gave me three laptops because not one of them can access all the resources I need. So I have to balance my workflow around these three machines.

"Use this great extension for your IDE!"

Yeah, thanks, now I have 57 extensions installed and not one of them is useful because my fucking IDE crashes every fifth minute.

Netlify.

The only one of them which will build your frontend for you and can handle a custom HTTPS domain in one click.

Perfect for spontaneous side projects, especially when they added form handlers.

Too bad it’s blocked here in Russia.

Common mistakes(choosing programming is one of them)

in the early 2000's I started installing Firefox on my high school's computers. about a month later it was being deployed to every one of them

I got 99 problems but an Exception isn't one of them!

A column of some Soviet newspaper. Top to bottom:

The Atheist’s Page
“The oldest profession”
(Ukrainian tale)

Three people argued over whose profession was the oldest. One of them said:
— Surgeons: without them, god wouldn’t have pulled Adam’s rib out to make Eve.
— Engineers, — the other one interrupted him. — Without them, god wouldn’t have made light.
The third one thought for a while and said:
— No, mine’s older: in the beginning there was darkness, and who spreads darkness? I do!

The third one was a priest.

Am I the only one who hates to see tons of inline JS on a website?

I always put all JS inside files and include them.

The “if” statement works the same in every* language, so if you can code in one language, you can code in most of them.

*Terms and conditions apply.

When your friends at university discover you're programming a fighting game, one of them always ask : "Is this a hentai ?"

Always weirds me out when people talk about developing "the" blockchain instead of "a" blockchain. Like...you guys know there's more than one, right? At this point there's actually kind of a lot of them.

I hate when different IDE's and actually softwares have different hotkeys. I need to set up every single one of them so they can mach everywhere. There should be some kind of rule for hotkeys. 😡

One of the hardest things on the company Slack is knowing when to STFU and let them do their own Google search.

You can keep making your opensource platform slower, buggier and dirtier. Version after version. You can be proud of it. Tons of forks around the web. But only you are the most famous one. The heavier it is, the prouder you are. Millions of lines of code. Hundreds of millions of them. Until some day, people finally come to their minds, and you see them leaving your platform forever. The revolution comes...

I'm the youngest person on my team, and I mean significantly younger, most of my teammates have kids older then I am. So should I be bothered when one of them calls me "kiddo"?

when you confirm with a friend that 2 different members of their team who left didn't contribute shit (one of which got into a meeting with management with them telling them to work) , but they also made more money than both of you and are now making more money in more successful companies in more senior roles

is it possible to learn this power /palpatine

Why is the most useful Explorer shortcut (rename element, F2) besides the least useful one (Help, F1)??
And why does Help open in the browser? Not the default one, but EDGE.
Fuck them. I'll find a way of disabling F1 one day...

Wow, traveling by ICE (German long distance trains) and one of them is running late.
What a fucking surprise.

After one month of coding on Internship (doing website and app for them), I accidentally deleted folder with all code from my MacBook.
God bless disk recovery tools!

Anyone here use one of those powered sit/stand desks? If so, how do you like them?

I miss the old Version Control, copy pasting project folders with every single update, hiding them in different locations just in case some get deleted, then actually trying to find the latest one..... Good old days
Felt like them text RPG games with lots of endings

Got the newest update for Emojis and I was scrolling through them, and what do you know? This one popped up. All I can think of was "Devrant did it first"

Learn Clojure and use it instead of Bash / Python for one-line terminal tasks.
Reach 8k$ per month on current project.
Hire few students and make real devs from them.
Watch and enjoy the dawn of cross-platform frameworks for mobile platforms.

How the actual fuck? Today I found another page where I can't sign up because the fields do not recognize when I typed in them in firefox.
One of those sites is to change passw of university account.
Guess what browser they recommend...

After the servers got shut down because someone used them for illegal advertisement, after me putting in 30-35 hours a week on the side of my studies. Since it was my job to keep them running and doing DevOps work, they just slowly froze me out of the company without even firing me. I even asked them what I should be working on then. Their answer was of course: you can make us some advertising landing pages. Can you make one that looks like Facebook?
Nope, just fucking nope.

So...
After about a month and a half of lots of interviews with 2 different companys, BOTH of them offered me a job last night.

One is a big digital agency in my country (~2000 employees) the other one is a smaller development firm (~200 employees).

It feels sad to have to deny the smaller one but the bigger one is a dream job for me due to the fact that thet focus a lot more on new tech compared to the smaller one.

But i have never been happier in my life!
It is a dream come true!

Ours is a devRant family now. 2 of them are mine and one is my wife's ☺️. Thanks devRant..

DevOps

"Bro, are you a DevOps Engineer?" 

"Yup, why?"

"For you, which one is more important, Programmer's Day or Sysadmin's Day?"

"Both of them."

"How come?"

"They are Pizza's Days, dude!"

"Oh..."

ATTN: ALL DEVZ

I think we all should just band together and say FU! to all of these software companies and form one gigantic software corporation, steal all of their clients, and make them beg on their knees for us to help them. Not only that, make them go through a series of VERY stressful interviews (to see who deserves our time, of course) in which we simply say....."no" with no explanation. Bwahahahahhahahaha!!!

Wishful thinking.... 🤔

Doing the deployment to production, and towards the end one of the support guys looks over at me;

"So, the website in prod is throwing some errors"

Followed by another guy:

"Yeah I'm getting the same, SQL exceptions on the page"

I stare at them panicked for a moment, when one of them goes "just kidding!". Like dude, my heart just skipped several beats!

Any one here ever had something cruel happen to them during a deployment?

Company's main server got an upgrade and I am installing the new one from scratch now.
The new server hoster has custom images and CDRoms. One of them is called "Arch Linux"...
I... I am very attempted!

My colleagues work on our project files with unstable software for hours on end without saving their progress. Honestly, the balls on them. One of them just closed their Laptops to put it in energy saving mode without saving 2h of progress. Why are you doing this to me?

Tabs vs Spaces.

Not because one of them is definitely better than the other, but because it's 2020, we have editorconfig and everybody should just use what he personally prefers.

Of course I use magic numbers, but at least I explain them in a comment!

Eg:
// 1 is this one

I just became the CS tutor for my university...the one thing I have learned:
Don't let them ask questions explain what they need to know and walk away. Let them down and find the joy of problem solving.

Ever had one of those days (or many of them) where all your jokes offend, all your interactions fall flat, none of your code works, and everything you try to do just goes to crap? Hoping it’s not just me.

A system to keep track of all my side projects, so that I can find enough time and motivation to complete at least some of them (but how will I ever complete this one?).

We need a thread dedicated to just debating tabs vs spaces and light vs dark themes, every third post is about one of them!

Two friends of mine (one of which actually introduced me to devRant) refuse to post on here.

...there's no need to explain that I want them to enjoy devRant (at it's full potential) with me but they don't see a point in writing.

Would you be so kind and give them some motivation/reasons in the comments? What's the point of dev-ranting?

devRant Stickers arrived. One of them already found place on my MacBook :) Not sure where to put the others yet. Thanks @dfox

Don't get a Linux system because most pro devs use them, stick to a windows system and focus on things like your programming language, framework and IDE.

P.S windows has one of the best IDEs

Yestersay one of my friend (who runs a school) told me to make one software for the fee management of students. I said why don't you buy from market number of people's have already selling these kind of softwares. He said yes I have tried but they are costly few of them are selling at 10 k INR (less than 200 $).

Look at my new toys 😁
I really look forward to play with these beacons! I want to use them in my wedding app. I will place two at the church and two at the party location, one for iBeacon and one for Eddystone, and the guests will get a message on arrival and departure.
Unfortunately I already broke the case of one 😅
Have any of you other good ideas I can use them for?

There's seriously a girl here following DAE (Game development) with one of them fancy tiny macbooks. Yes the one without escape. I wish her good luck and congratulations on being rich and a retard who ignores school advice on laptops

At work, we have a lot of daytime spenders (they just hang around so they do not sit at home all day).
I'm the only one in the entire company with somewhat decent programming experience (and I have to admit that I'm still pretty bad at it).

A few (4) of them have been assigned to one of the biggest projects (potentially even bigger than the one I work on daily) the company has ever had.

here is the fun part:
- 2 of them only just started coding and have no clue what they are doing at all (they heavily struggle with HTML).
- 1 of them overengineers everything (in a bad way) because she doesn't know how to do it somewhat properly.
- 1 of them doesn't even code (only sitting there giving ideas n stuff... basically the "client").

As a bonus point:
- None of them knows how to database
- None of them knows how to back-end
- None of them knows how to design

This is going to be fun, especially since I'm going to refuse to have my hands in there even the slighest outside of recommending stuff (like using a framework, certain libraries etc.) :^)

Fucking hell I'm turning into one of those pricks that think everyone is less competent than them, how do I go back? I guess I'm not as humble as I thought I was ._.

One thing that i found in common among most of rants was devs getting annoyed by people who interrupt them while coding, obviously it's because we love what we do while in most jobs they wish for someone interrupting them so they can stop working for a while

Monday morning: "Hey uuuh the client receives 3 mails instead of one and only one of them is good, there's a problem, go fix it"

Yesterday, me: - "Hey I've been looking everywhere, made hundreds of tests, there's a problem with the files attached to the mail, they're unreadable"
-" I told you it's in the code, you didn't look deep enough"

This evening: "Umm it seems that there's indeed a permission issue. So I'm gonna rollback everything you've done since Monday"

One year. One year and I live this hell.

I wonder how many developers each day rant here to get stickers and stress ball 😝.

Shameless acceptance: I am one of them.

vscode for now. I swap editors when I get bored of one. All editors have something cool to them. Except Vim. Screw Vim.

A business's site that has only five pages, and one of them is a 404, is.... ***scratches chalkboard with wire brush***

Linux Users
BTW I am one of them as well

Day 3 of devWholesome...

Go tell a loved one you love them! Give them a hug, call them, text them, etc. Its always great to give love to the ones closest to you. Try and spend some time with them! Again make sure you are eating your meals and drinking your water (maybe with your family?) as well as taking care of yourself and keeping yourself from stress. And as always, make the most out of your day!

Note: If you want to see any devWholesome posts, you can look at all of them by looking up the devwholesome tag!

There are a couple really bad things I've seen other devs do.

One of those things is taking on managerial tasks while they are a dev in heart. Slowly kills them from the inside.

I think about learning a lisp-family-language , but since there are plenty of them, I don't know which one to choose.
I've mostly coded in Go or typescript before.
Can any of you give me an advice with which one to start ?

The codebase Im working with is like someone took 3 sets of earphones, crumpled them together in their pocket, and then threw them into a bag full of spaghetti and wasps. Too confusing to comprehend and dependencies absolutely everywhere. All I have to do is port over a relatively straightforward piece of functionality from one iOS app to another. Core Data has other plans it seems....

Client calls with an issue(some automated process that's run perfectly fine for years, one error and it's the end of the world), and after 15 minutes of trying to explain to them what happened, they wanted to see the code the error originated from.. so I sent it to them. After a long pause, they agreed with my assessment. 🤣🤣🤣

Conversation with American developers, suddenly we began to talk about college and how in debt they are. I tell them that don't have an education related debt.

They were skeptical at first, but then we found that my entire education costed less than one semester for them. That's one positive thing about living here.

How about you guys? Happy with the cost of higher education where you live?

Fuckin'A how it takes 1 t-shirt from hacktoberfest to make everyone loose their shit and start actively contributing to Open Source projects on Github.

Room full of highly paid .net experts and not one if them actually understands HTTP. 😾

Godaddy. Do I need to say more? Theyre hosting >30k websites on one machine and one of them is the one of one of our customers. I can't upload a file >1mb and the site takes 2 minutes to load.

Definition of Most ass Hole Senior Developers =
5+ years passed in one or multi fucking organizations and when it come to code can't write 10 better lines and whole day they would make you feel that your are a fuck face. i wish i could shoot them . i would have killed them all .

Being a zoomer means leaving your favorite indie musician on repeat overnight for them to earn a bit more money.

Being a zoomer means never leaving a one-star review on your Uber driver because if you do this, they fire them, put them on an internal blacklist that is unofficially shared between such bloody companies and they'll never find a job and probably die of starvation.

The number of people that pronounce 'deprecate' as 'depreciate' is hilarious. I remember when I was one of them!

When I think my teachers can get any worse after sending me snippets of several Java classes in a single txt, one of them sent me SQL code of a full database dump in a Word document. 8 pages of SQL in its full glory!

I guess using the proper file extension/format or a service like PasteBin or GitHub Gist is way too advanced for them.

Tl;dr got to mass slaughter expensive winblow$ servers from AWS. The kicker - no-one was using any of them for over a year...good bye saved money that’s no going to my paycheck 😭

0. A good comfortable chair, one that does not hurt my fat ass and back

1. GPUs, lots of them so that I can train my models faster

2. Patience to endure the stupidity of people

1) What is the size of your team?
2) What is the size of your company?
3a) Do you have one on ones with your manager, tech lead and/or scrum master (insert whatever position you have one on ones with if you have them)
3b) How often do you meet?

I have 1000 problems and
Reached here
Function called
#############
and threading
While loop
Blah blah blah
Blah Blah blah
Is one of them
==================
lololololololololololololo
I hate threading
5555555555555555555
Shitshitshitshitshitshitshit

One advantage of JWT that I never realized: session tokens are stored client side, saving network calls to validate them.

Very cool. Love it.

*intense hacker vs hacker situation in a movie
One of them: "Let's see how you like Hyper Text Transfer Protocol"
*Continues intensively hacking

!rant

I don't know if we already had a weekly rant about petty revenge or anything, but I did just pull some petty bullshit maybe 30 minutes ago.

A couple people I know are trying to start a clothing brand (think I posted something about it on here before) and asked me to build the website cause one of them found out I write code. (Well, he asked if I was good with computers and I told him that I am, and he basically said "you're building our website then")

Basically these people are..not good people. One of them has a history of sexually harassing girls (some of which are really close friends of mine), the other one is basically following in his footsteps. They also like to go to the parking lot of an elementary school (the one that my little sister goes to actually) and get high.

Both of them have fucked me over at some point in the few years I've known them. And so now my silent indirect petty revenge begins. Earlier I bought the domain name for the online store they're trying to (make me) build. Considering having the site redirect to a gay porn site.

One of them is currently getting into shit having to do with drugs, which is not my doing, but I can probably find a way to get them into trouble. Especially the fact that they're doing drugs in the parking lot of an elementary school. That shit's just fucked up, no exceptions.

Anyone have any suggestions for shit I could do to them?

Most companies, if they have a 1 person bus factor, only have one of them. My company has 3. Not 3 people that would have to get hit by a bus for things to fall apart, but 3 people that if any of them get hit by a bus, everything falls apart... Woo!

!dev

so, i'm recording some piano music because i wanna make a digital album... two songs done today and then i realize:
FUCK
I'VE BEEN RECORDING IN MONO!!
had to delete them both and start over; only had time to redo one of them in stereo today...
god damn it

[LANGUAGE DESIGN]

What are some interesting / unique approaches you've seen to representing generics in syntax? The only one I know is the Java/C#/Typescript way of using a separate set of parentheses and either specifying all of them or none, and I've already experimented a bit with passing them as regular arguments which works great with autocurry but every syntax option for inference adds visual noise.

I have some really satisfying bug fixes in one particular project but it's under NDA.

So I'm not allowed to tell you guys any of them :(

In VK, the number one Russian social network, we have adorable gopnik stickers. They’re not just insults though, there are many of them for different situations.

Finish this one project which already takes way too long and like an onion there always appear new layers of fucked-up once I get through one of them.

Since MS wants to aquire Github which owns Atom, what do you guys think would happen to one of the largest rival of VSCode?
Would they merge them? Or github guys would separate it from the company before the sale?

Leaving the office before everyone else and having to walk out in front of them has to be one of the embarrassing in the office.

You can't really look at your colleagues because they would be definitely thinking something like "hmm he gets to leave before me every day".

You can't really walk out infront of them ignoring their existence. That would be rude I feel.

This is one of that moment where I wish if I had the power to be invisible.

So many frameworks! SO MANY FUCKING FRAMEWORKS!!! 😱😵

Can't they just perfect one of them?

One of my coworkers uses two monitors (as well as all the other devs), but one of them is always displaying the desktop, with a big gospel wallpaper.

so we just had the software engineering exam and my teacher is posting the "best answers" he got...this is one of them

That moment when the CTO rants about php and you ask them to name one of their grievances. And they say:

"It doesn't support private properties."

(┛✧Д✧))┛彡┻━┻

Hey guys... What are the ways to deal with group of NOISY coworkers?

Yes... I tried asking them to Shut up...
And, No... I can’t ask my fucking manager coz, he’s one of them...

Just read a comment on LinkedIn:

"Just got a new Note 7, hopefully this one doesn't explode lol"

If this is how Android users think, I'm glad I'm not one of them.

One of our products has so many obscure debugging flags settable via cookie I wrote my first Chrome extension to manage them.

All of our products have a 16x2 lcd. Every April fool's we make all of them say some offensive/funny stuff. One year I made an Arduino controller for one of the other engineers units it took him a few hours trying to figure out how I was doing it 'cause he couldn't fix it.

git add --all && git commit -m "Alright, here's a story for you. I set out to create a navigation mechanism on here, so we could have back buttons and tabs. I also wanted the ability to customise the UI elements. In order to do that, I combined two dependencies. Each one of them provides us with some of the functionalities we need and there's quite a bit of overlap between them. Moreover, each dependency creates the UI elements differently. So customising the UI is becoming a nightmare already, since it's getting harder to tell which one of them is affecting a UI element's appearance. In spite of all that, we have an app that navigates and has tabs."

The leader in a dev team should be the BEST DEVELOPER

Not the one with "leadership" or "strong ownership" skills and "team player" or "go getter" attitudes. This is euphemism for promoting someone just because you like them, or because of their charisma.

There are many other industries where charisma can play a role in leadership but software is not one of them. To build good software we need to be objective thinkers, not influencers.

What is with me and my headphones ? 4 headphones , all broken after 4 to 5 months of use and one recent headphone rendered unusable after 1 month . I am going to ditch wired headphones for good ! That fragility of the wires near the connector .. I suspect they are intentionally made fragile to frustate the customer and make them buy a new one !! :(

I use my phone as webcam. It’s higher quality, and it allows me to have my laptop’s cam taped over.

Unfortunately, not every one of us can organize their life in a way that doesn’t require using a webcam. Sometimes, you need one.

Yes, I know there are laptops with built-in webcam slider. Mine is not one of them.

So one of our customers has replaced their bespoke website we built for them with a wordpress site that doesn’t seem to work properly, is clunky and looks more dated than the one we built them 4 years prior.

I don’t know whether to be sad we lost them or smile because what they have now got is horrible?