There's nothing like playing Cards Against Downtime with colleagues while lunchtime :D

BAM! It's official. The Dutch people have voted against the new surveillance law!

It's about 49 percent against vs 46 percent in favor and the other part voted blank.

I'm happy as fuck!

Playing cards against downtime with my less tech savvy mates is awesome!

Cheers from Germany 🍻

Dear me,

We have noticed you uploaded files to a public github with your API keys in plaintext.

Please proceed to bang head against desk until you have learned your lesson.

Sincerely me.

Captcha is the key to winning the war against the machines!!?

Code not working.
Comment out code.
Slowly rewrite it bit by bit till it works again.
Check against commented code.
They're the same.
Wtf.

Seven hours wasted on this shit :/

This post is in memory of all the devRanters fallen in battle against management stress and impossible deadlines.

Let their memories remain, and their loss never be forgotten.

Ah yes, progress...
Why do SJWs have to infiltrate everything and project their own racist views of the world onto non-problematic terms?
Slavery has existed for as long as humanity and abolishing the terms will definitely not solve slavery and opression.
I am not against Git changing the default name but I am against them doing it in the name of "inclusivity". The technical world exists by merit and not inclusivity. Why make everything about color, race or slavery level?

It was a screenshot of reddit thread.
So, I didn't deserve it anyway!

You dare to use my spells against me?

Turkish protesters against government trying shutting down social networks

I accidentally taught my cat to turn off the wifi. Now he is using his powers against me whenever he demands food😅😫🤦

Saw this quote in a local newspaper. The guy is against buying laptops for school kids which I also am against but he makes the wrong argument. 25 years ago my school had computer rooms where we learnt how to code and although I don't use that language now it is still the same concepts as any modern language.

My biggest annoyance?

The amount of hate against JS, I personnaly love JS!

When you move a bunch of cables you haven’t touched in a while, and underneath you find this 🥳
Guess I know what I’m taking to work on Monday.

Against all recommendations...I stared into the Eclipse for 6 hours. I think I am blind now.

Also my boss's thoughts against me :))

I almost added a #TODON'T to my code today.

How to advertise... uhm... not the right way!

The 'beschermd tegen anti-ddos' literally translates to 'protected against anti-ddos'

So then I can DdoS the living shit out of that those services and will be protected against the anti DdoS stuff....?! 🤣

PM used his wife's data in testing against legacy data.
Discovered she had different social number before they met.
Apparently she was also a he.....

Might be a interesting evening for him.

Old rant : I was fired for complaning about the non-paid extra hours everyone was doing. The excuse : I was against "the culture" of the company.

I hate game companies...

Stop these stereotypes against programmers.

1 like = 1 prayer

Nothing against hamburger icon but come on!

How many can you count? ;)

> Bang head against issue for days
> Finally get help from lead
> Watch them bang their head against it on video for 40 minutes
> Watch them shake their head in disbelief at how difficult to follow and objectively wrong the existing code is
> Talk through approach to fixing it and patching in the new functionality
> Listen to a short recap
> Ask question, get answer
> Chat about next company meet
> Meeting adjourns
> Jot down implementation notes before I forget
> Remember answer to question, forget everything else

FFFFUUUUUUUUUUU 😭

sometimes when switching back to python from c++ i realize how python is pretty much pseudo code that went too far

disclaimer to prevent rant responses: i love python and have nothing against it

It time, when the old fat HiPPO in the tech team guns for Flash against HTML5 😕

Fight against procrastination.

//now I can cross "make your first rant" item on my todo list from 2016.

Demonstration in Rostock against article 15-17 (formerly 11-13).

TabError: inconsistent use of tabs and spaces in indentation

Me: *slams head against keyboard*

Cards against downtime is LIT 😂

Introducing my everyday weapon against bugs.
Colour pattern to change depending on my mood or my rage against PEBKAC.

Free swag is always fun!

When i lost in a competition with a super project against a person that did something that would take 5h of coding.

I codod a compiler, he made a sudoku solver

Learning Vue.js was pretty amazing. I just started using it and got it. I think, with any tool, you know straight away if it's something you will work with rather than against.

Wow, pretty neat, all of Stack Exchange lets you run queries against it.

I'm not sure why so many people are against certain languages..

This industry changes overnight so I'm kinda willing to learn anything I need to make my f**king program work...

Imagine telling our distant ancestors we can talk to any person anywhere in the world by tapping fingers against the glass

When advertising is working against you

Where is the angry shit throwing rant against apple today? I expect the same treatment as Microsoft

Cards Against Humanity online game server

Telling the customer that they are breaching guidelines.

"This cannot be against the guidelines. We always did it that way"
...
Ehm. You did what?

When you advertise against yourself

I have nothing against windows (use it on main pc) but man does it get slow on "not top of the line" laptops. Linux here i come.

I'm internally moved from envy feelings against the very first users of StackOverflow.
The ones that got tens of thousands of upvotes for questions like "how to set the width of a div element?"

I used to design and program these systems. Some of the first voice responsive ones. I’m so sorry for my crimes against humanity.

General advice - People aren't against you, they are just for themselves

i was talking with a senior developer and...

...i realized...

...every single thing you people trashtalked against java, was a delusional lie.

Converting spaces to tabs made my file 10% smaller (5050 characters to 4500).

Either good argument against spaces or my code with compulsive indentation disorder.

Oh god, where to start? It is my job to fight against devs that likes to breaks RFC, do stuff stupidly or just do not actually know how stuff works

My company is against developers working remotely.. wtf?

Cards against humanity, raging dev edition

I would build Robots. War Robots. To fight against the A.I.
😈

Why do devs have a grudge against Microsoft?

When Hibernate turns against you

So we were trying to make a Go AI bot for our school project and then let it play against itself. Well... it might be able to beat AlphaGo, right?

This is how protest against corruption happens in India :|

Thank god, government people know 'C' 😀

😂 I need me some of that fibreglass internet.
Definitely the best argument against fttn so far.

What do I say to tests that are running against buggy code, you ask?

Booked an Uber...
ETA: 10 minutes...
*Checks 4 minutes later*
ETA: 12 minutes...
*Calls the driver to confirm pick up*
*waits for another 4 minutes*
ETA: 8 minutes
*Types in this rant with passive aggression*
ETA: 10 minutes...

So, I've waited 10 minutes after an initial ETA of 10 minutes and now I gotta wait 10 minutes extra.

Arggghhhhhh!

I'm not sure who the fuck is at fault here?
The devs? The ones who design the flow? The ones handling the execution at low levels?
Or us, the customers who keep on coming back to their services succumbed to the fact that we don't have many options!

Update: I've had to wait for half an hour till my cab could reach me.
HALF AN HOUR = Practically the time it would have taken me to walk to the cab!

Reading all these posts about 1.5 - 2 million line code bases, is that it!?! Your tiny 1.5 is nothing against my unmanageable 22.5!

My father is a programmer by himself so he is cool with it. My mother on the other hand is totally against "any form of technology newer than the telephone." (her words)

I was against him and then I was with him.

What's a language you were once biased against fanatically, but ended up really enjoying writing with?

Anything you say will be used against you in courts of paws( 🐾 ).

Source:Blue bird

Hello my fellow devs.

I just joined devRant.

It's really annoying when "programmers" who have only worked on one language/framework defend it as superior against any other framework. If you haven't tried Rails, how the fuck can you say Express is better? $;:&/@:$).

PS: if you've tried both and you like Express over Rails, I have nothing against you :)

Modern programming is like racing against the Universe: programmers try to make code for every idiot, the Universe breeds new kinds of idiots. So far, the Universe is winning outright.🧬

If devs had a version of cards against humanity I'd imagine that it would look like this😂

Beer that tastes like banana is a sin against humanity

Came home, opened Instagram and I feel this urge to make a rant about these fcking instagram thots that "code".

I'm not against women that code or anything (in fact, if they got the skill, then I think that is awesome), but I am against those special fcking snowflakes that try to get special attention just because they are a female person that is writing HTML and CSS >.>

Finally we release November release in December. All developers united against sneaky bugs.

God bless (drawing by me)

!rant
Devrant really goes against the movie techie stereotype. Almost everyone has a girlfriend or wife and family!!!

If my boss says "Don't think in the solution space; think in the problem space" one more time, I'm gonna start crying in pain and banging my head against a robot. 🙄😂😂

Saw this comment on an issue against npm.

Just me that really want's to get an RFID implant? Seems so usefull to just tap your hand against a sensor to login 😍

Yep, today was a Monday. Had a request to truncate some tables. Set up a script to disable constraints, truncate, and re-enable constraint. It ran flawlessly. Too bad I ran against the wrong schema, though. Ran it against a dev schema instead of the requested itest schema, because the dev schema was stuck in my head. Well, I guess I tested it in dev. Against some developers schema. But, hey, it worked flawlessly. Because, you know, when you are pointing at the wrong place, it will always work. Every time.

"you got all that done in a day?"

that's what happens when you work *with* your framework instead of against it

we need you to do migrations in a legacy codebase which includes changes against a tool you will not have access to test against

I always read the "Never Settle" from one+ as "Never Seattle" and wonder what they have against Seattle

Sometimes I use "KillMe" or "FML" in my debugging strings as a silent cry against whatever-the-fuck has upset me.

!Rant
I think that Google has alien employee's.
NOW Why Do I Say that???

Because all the stock Android versions do not have a "DARK MODE".

If they were human developer's they would have included it.

Same statement is Worthy to all their apps.

Light is killing me !!!

When somebody on devRant tells you to calm down

How my boss uses git:
1. Clone repo into separate folder
2. Run WinMerge against his version
3. Manually update his version with changes

When Facebook launched an all-out battle against Apple last year, little did they know that the war would be two-fronts.

The dutch government started using "mono" as a slogan against distracted driving.

The only thing that enters my mind every time it's on is the mono project....

Newscaster on Tv:
"Apple won patent case against Samaung"

Me:
"Thank God! Apple doesn't have Wheel patent or there would be no Ford or Mercedes ... "

>About to create Helperclass for JSON parsing and writing
>Realises there's the GSON-library by Google
>shamefully and silently like a fart deletes 1 hour of work
>repeatedly bangs head against desktop

Dare not to speak against vuejs

What if you were asked to develop something that goes against your morals or beliefs. Would you do it?

PS - they are willing to pay you more that you ask for

Who books meetings on Friday afternoons?
Isn't that against the Geneva convention?

I'm worried. I would love to internship for my current boss over the summer.
But there are only 4 spots and 10 people competing.

She basically wants an assistant to help with her photography gig. But many of the skills she's asking for are graphic design related minus the website building.

Fingers crossed that what little knowledge I have there can be enough to get me free housing for 8 weeks. Would also love the chance to build a website. Here's to the interview tomorrow.

When your boss wants to use the client's infos about it's clients without anyone's permission, and doesn't understand why it's against basic privacy laws

I genuinely didn’t think I’d ever get this.

WhitehatJr withdraws case against Pradeep Poonia

browser extension to 100% protect against phishing attacks

Today we wrote in school a Social Science test. And i really wrote users, against to write Citizens...

How my teacher looked at me after he collected the tests was unforgettable

2year project got cancelled, not because of covid, not because of budget reason, but because a new politician got elected that is against our company industry.

We should start a war against open spaces

Nice sunday.... i hate my iMac

I was experimenting with a load test suite called 'Siege' to build and scale increasingly complex searches against our new site search engine. I assumed that an old iMac couldn't have generated a crushing load against the beta servers and I learned two things the day I wrote and started that script before heading to lunch:

1) Beta and Production shared MSSQL instances
2) That single iMac was more than enough to take the whole production site down...

My weapon against clients who asks for stupid changes.
"That will increase your cost of maintentance and it takes atleast 2 months to make changes" .

Random code review:

contractor changes 2 lines in the .gitignore and 1 line in the composer.json and logs 4.5h against the related ticket .. hmmm

Why everyone's against HP's laptops?

I have one and it does his job quite well

Devrant became full of nazi lmao. A litteral fascist can threaten to be violent against immigrants and be upvoted but I am the spammer.

Fuck yall im doing a chaosqueenteam attack.

After work tho

I bang my head against the table so much that I some times feel sorry for my desk.

Due to the surprising lack of rants, its either because people are just happy its the weekend... Or everyone had to deploy today against there will

O dont know if is against the rules, but could you teach me the hack to get the profile avatar permission?

I'm ashamed to call Australia home. The adulterer who voted against same sex marriage because it would endanger the sacred family was elected again. I wish I was living in Saudi Arabia.

Hitting my head against the wall for project ideas 😖

Starting my first real dev position Monday. Scared about using a windows computer for dev for the first time but stoked.

My rant is against myself that I didn't switch jobs earlier.

The feeling when your scrum master or lead ask you run the automated tests against the application though they know the application is down or not working.

i don't have the energy to argue against this bullshit any longer

when you're trying so hard to build a piece of crap that nobody needs, fine.

Was running a script to create ~50 config tables for a project. Didn't check the connection on the window in SSMS. Ran the script against the production payroll db. Panic ensued.

if you ever want to really fuck with someone's head, compare against NaN in JavaScript...

Am i the only one that likes to use semicolons in python3?

Yes, i know it's against PEP 8

"I warn you against believing that advertising is a science." - Bill Bernbach

One of my favorite old jokes:
If you wish to know who rules you, seek those whom you're not allowed to criticize… We should rise up against children with leukemia!

TIL WinMerge can compare a folder against a zip

Programming for iOS is pure pain.

Programming with ionic on a Safari debugger is still worse. It's a crime against humankind.

I regret the IE 6 debugger. Yes, I know what I'm saying

epic won against apple.
time to start learning swift

none, no matter how easy it is im gonna tense up and not think straight. Im against the standard interviewing process to begin with

When you start a website get the domain setup and to save money decide against using the domain privacy. Than you get 12 calls the next day from India. Or web "development companies."

OK! NOBODY MOVE! 🙅

I finally have a candidate for the laptop I want to buy. 😁

MSI modern 15 A5M

Anybody used it? Anybody got something against it?

What’s the most passive aggressive thing you’ve done against management at work? I’m curious. A rant will follow soon with my most exciting adventure in passive aggressive fuckery.

Seriously, I get a smaller hart attack if there is NO errors shown in the debugger. I wait about 5 seconds before I breathe against be sure it is correct.

Nice, nextcloud just added support for ActivityPub and that means federation against Mastodon, GNUSocial, Pleroma and soon Diaspora

I love when large corporations care about my friends' security. Especially when gmail protects them against project related *.jar files I try to send them...

The person who invented powerpoint and those who use it/love it should be skinned alive.

FUCKING SHIT OF A PRODUCT.

On the other side, instead of torturing someone to death, force them to use Power point for 2 hours a day and that will be enough for the person to beg you to kill them.

Join me in this journey against power point.

Apparently they knew how to program in bible (partial translation of a traditional passover song below):

If He had brought us out from Egypt,
and had not carried out judgments against them
— Dayenu, it would have sufficed!
If He had carried out judgments against them,
and not against their idols
— Dayenu, it would have sufficed!
If He had destroyed their idols,
and had not smitten their first-born
— Dayenu, it would have sufficed!
If He had smitten their first-born,
and had not given us their wealth
— Dayenu, it would have sufficed!
If He had given us their wealth,
and had not split the sea for us
— Dayenu, it would have sufficed!
If He had split the sea for us,
and had not taken us through it on dry land
— Dayenu, it would have sufficed!

Compare against hardcoded plaintext password...
In Javascript...

Being convinced there's an issue with the framework / platform your programming against, then discovering you created the issue all by yourself #fml

- TeamLeader1: Noooo, classes in JS are fake because here and there, in NodeJS they work differently from the browser because here and there, I know it
- IHateForALiving: I'm betting 50 cents against 50 bucks that you're wrong. You in?
- TeamLeader1: Uhm... no, I don't feel like betting against you about technical issues :(

It's been a months long journey, but it finally looks like we're getting somewhere.

What to do against chronic back-aching?

The tips on the internet ain't helpful and the doc can't go out of drunk state.

nothing worse than undocumented API changes in the bug tracking system you implement against for your company...

A random game of cards against friends (with myself), while suddenly:
(Android app, HACK1 deck)

Lovely, We just got told to ditch Sentry and just check the /var/log/ of the server for issues......

How do I argument back against this...

I found a use for Excel. It essentially cures me of low blood pressure.

P.S: Anything against high blood pressure?

I️ cannot tell if it’s good or bad to have my own coding style guide that might go against convention

University students : protesting against corruption in the country
Ministry : vacations advancement
LOL

Friend asked me to redo her website, all the code is against the left margin... no div tags are named... all the naming is done in the css...

Never! Deploy! To production! On Thursday! *banging my head against the wall*
Now I need to revert some things manually on production ON MY DAY OFF 🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️

[NN]
Day3: the accuracy has gone to shit and continues to stay that way, despite me cleaning that damn data up.

Urghhhhhhhh

*bangs head against the wall, repeatedly*

One down side to working for a smaller company: the never-ending fight against infrastructure.

Surgery continued...recovery.
I was going to try going to work today. But it hurts like a bitch. So I ended up needing to take my prescription. I cannot drive when I take this. We don't do remote work. So I have to miss a day.

The prescription gave me really weird dreams last night. I had a dream I was beating the shit out of a skyscraper building. I was like Neo and I kicked its ass. The building tried to attack me, but it lost. What is also weird is I remembered most of my dreams. Involved guns, fighting, and violence against buildings.

I really think we need a category in movies called: "violence against buildings" or "violence against infrastructure".

Friends don't let friends type unsafely - mother's against drunk JavaScript

Functional-Declarative languages should only be esoteric ones. They are interesting for research and a mathematical toy, but they should not be used for programming languages used in the real world.

I currently try to write OpenSCAD code that places a list of modules, with information given from an array, with varying sizes next to each other. And is so hard and cumbersome. Whoever had the idea to cripple OpenSCAD by not having variables was stupid or sadistic.

The actual CPU run instructions, one after the other, there is no good reason to not allow some imperative elements in a programming language.

Sometimes when I drink water out of a glass bottle I knock the edge of it against my overly sensitive front teeth just to feel something once again.

Why do people like or even use Discord?

It is the same people behind OpenFeint and Discord - which has some lawsuits against it because the app installed shit on mobile phones without users consents

working against a database over a bugged VPN connection, which gives you periodically timeouts, after the request takes 15 minutes 😑

"I warn you against believing that advertising is a science." - Bill Bernbach

I really like Julias typesystem, but method dispatch makes it easy to accidentally match against methods you didn't intend.

Meanwhile the retarded frenchies are whining against burkinis lmao

Are rants against oneself allowed here? Anyway, instead of writing code based on half-assed guesses just FUCKING STOP and FUCKING THINK about the problem at hand! This way you don't have to bang your head against the keyboard. POOR KEYBOARD! Anyway, now it works and I need sleep.

"Beauty is the ultimate defense against complexity" - David Gelernter

Yay, I won my bet against a colleague to see what developer (colleague) would be fired first.

Easiest €10 of my life

I love how tutorials advocating against ORMs use examples with tables that are only 5 columns wide.

- git => did you use sourcesafe anytime?
- VS Code => because everyone is against MS ;-)
- hammer (for keyboard) => self explaining

When you've worked on a project for a whole week, and finaly verify it against the hardware and everything works!

Pro whiteboard interviews or against?

Facebook and twitter seems to be deleting posts/tweets supporting Palestine against Israeli genocide & blocking accounts/pages whoever/whichever writes against Israel. That's a shame!

Best strategy for getting unstuck:
Wildly curse at the screen and start smashing your had against the keyboard. The ideas will come. Trust me!

When commenting it would be nice to see the comment you are commenting against. Often they are long with several points and you can't refer back to it

I know it would be against devRant's simple UI and mechanism, but I'd love a Quote/Jump To Quote feature.

How much mind raped are you if you're asked to develop an iOS app completely with material design even after you inform that it's against iOS guidelines?

Today I decided against installing a plugin for my text editor because the plugin required node to be installed. Node is bigger than my text editor.

Spent two hours debugging my filter for truncated tweets (ending with "...") Only to find out that Twitter uses a fucking ellipsis Unicode character
*Bangs head against wall*

You know prior to becoming a dev and learning the ticket system I never had a dislike against any number now I hate most of all of them

I got android 8 on my HTC 10, finally.
Compared the performance of it against my wife's galaxy s7 (international, with exynos8, Android 7)
The s7 seems faster.

Bummer

The inventors of PHP and WordPress should be executed for heinous crimes against humanity.

Pitching against people that BS their way though everything but will ultimately be picked because they offer to do it for 0.01 per hour.

There are days I like to pull my hair out and create a dynamic 4D map that holds a list of records. 🤯

Yes there's a valid reason to build this map, generally I'm against this kind of depth 2 or 3 is usually where I draw the line, but I need something searchable against multiple indexes that doesn't entail querying the database over and over again as it will be used against large dynamic datasets, and the only thing I could come up with was a tree to filter down on as required.

This one is from experience:
>always update your CV,
>don't lose hope,
>learn what you stumbled against and
>most importantly- "ABH (Always Be Hunting)"

I know that there is no bad programming languages.

But there are one exception.
Swift 3.

You can't use c styled code! Why????
Wtf???
Do you have anything against C?
If you do, why?

"Okay, we'll try to explain again why you being able to execute your test cases against prod is a bad thing..."

The way of the code warrior is no match against the way of the wife...

...unless, wife is a developer as well :)

"Every practice has a set of rules which governs it. Mastery occurs with the realization of these rules. Innovation occurs at the point of intelligent and creative rebellion against them." - Fiel Valdez

>World War 3 outside
>Calls boss
Me: Can't come into work today, I died
Boss: This is going against your monthly performance review.

Guys, what is the worst thing that could happen if you don't take measurements against big tech companies spying about what you are doing?

I am sick of people discriminating against programming we are the ones that create the software for the parademocs and we are the ones that make the games, so this has to stop.

Seriously?! Your username is your full name... With spaces?! Pushing against the grain! Pushing against the grain...

11:30 working hours logged for today. Went against the #NoDeploymentFriday rule. Fingers crossed 🤞 for the weekend

Why does no one stop the war that Russia started against Ukraine? Innocent people are constantly dying there!

Best dev team win like in a cage fight against managers or something?

The discrimination against GNU/Linux is so manifest
#AllOSMatter

I'm just a developer. So why the heck do I have to spend whole days talking to potential bussiness partners, discussing possible deals, preparing plan for next year and organizing various coworkers (including some managers) to fulfil the other deal that I haven't helped to negotiate. If I wanted to track so many things, speak to so many people and not write a single line of code whole days, I would have became manager and would ask for different salary!

What is your opinion on Competitive Programming. Are you against, for or in the middle and why?

Serious biased question:

What's the newschool way of storing passwords now that everyone is against the known hashes?

Would prefer storing it in a good 'ol database tho pls.

We've only met once and it was love at first sight. But now we're apart because some forces are conspiring against us x(
Give me back my storm trooper mug !

When I do the quick'n'dirty against that nasty bug.

If you think the "no politics rules" applies to discussing crime against humanity you might be a shitty person.

Worst one was git rebase vs merge with me defending merge against rebasing everything into a single commit before review... making my existence on this planet miserable.

If Oracle wins in the case against Google, how do you think the outcome will influence new developers and the CS field in general?

try to debug by using your knowledge and understanding, i failed and waste time

give up and compare against something similar that works, difference found