I don't even know what to say (I apologize if this is a dupe)

Here's a recent interview I had for an Android Developer job:
I: Interviewer, M: Me

I: hello, welcome
M: hi, thanks

I: do you know Kotlin?
M: yes, I've been working with it for 1.5 years and have written 3 projects in it

I: do you know RxJava, Dagger, Retrofit, and how to make Custom Views?
M: yes, I'm comfortable with them *explains*

I: do you know Room?
M: yes I do, I've done a lot of practices in it, but unfortunately have never needed to use it in production

I: what architecture do you use? Do you know MVP?
M: I'm currently using MVVM, but not MVP. I've debugged projects in it so I know what's going on in it

I: ok, do you have any questions for us?
M: how did I do?

I: I'm sorry sir, but you're not even a junior here
M: what? Why is that?

I: well you don't know Room and MVP?
M: I said I know them, just haven't used them in production.

I: well you have 3 years of experience but you dont even know Kotlin!
M: Kotlin was your first question and I said I have 3 projects in it. Did you even check the samples you asked for in the job posting?

I: SIR YOU'RE NOT A GOOD FIT FOR US, THANK YOU FOR COMING.

:/

Someone found my curriculum online, hooked me into an interview. I go there and the dude that handles the interview asks me: "So, why do you want to work with us?"
Man, I don't even know myself.

So, appearantly "excel" is a programming language.
And I am rejected couse "I don't even know main computer programs".
FML

My employer keeps sending booze to our houses.

Officially meant for coronaproof zoom social meetings where they play stupid bingo games and quizzes on Friday afternoons.

Why they're sending 2 liter bottles of Rum, 3 bottles of rosé wine and 12 cans of craft beer for the 6th week in a row... I really don't know... I don't even attend the zoom meetings.

All I know is that during breakfast, rum is better mixed into coffee than through cornflakes.

Anyway... Why was this a rant again? Oh right. Can I sue my employer for baiting me into an addiction? 🤔

I don't even know....

My brother just called me asking for help in some MS server thing and I'm like "I don't know that!" (I really don't), and he replied "Yeah, you know, mom told me to call you to ask for help.". Jesus Christ. Just because I'm in CS it doesn't mean I know everything informatics-related.
I now know your pain, devRanters. I usually don't mind being the IT support (so much that my parents call me to help them when their computers decide to randomly die or do something weird because of something they've done, but I live like 300km away because of uni so I can't just go there and help them. Sometimes I say "Ask your son" (he's taking a tech course in high school), but my brother cuts out of it like "I don't know how to fix it" without even looking at it sometimes. Well duh, me neither at times, but google is your friend damn it. Sometimes I search for the answers. Other times I just poke around in the program until I find what's wrong. Either way, when I say I don't know and/or I can't really do much about it they give me the usual "We're paying your uni fees for what?" (in a joking tone but. I'M NOT STUDYING FOR THAT, I WANNA BE A GAME DEV DAMN IT)), but goddamn it I don't know everything just because I am a CS student. I wanna help but sometimes I can't. Deal with that >:V

- We need an android app. Can you do this?
+ Never done that, but I can try.
- Do you even know Java?
+ Not really, but I'll learn fast!
- Any OOP experience?
+ Well...I know CPP.
- 😐

- Will you give me a prototype tonight?
+ Don't know. How about tomorrow?
- Ok.
...

+ *makes a prototype in couple of hours, becomes a Java developer*

Just like that.

Someone donated to me today for one of my open source projects.

I don't even know what to say. Thank you 🙏

You know what's fucking scary?
If you change a big block of code and it compiles, all tests are passed and you don't even get a warning.
Just wasted 20 Minutes because I tried to look for a mistake

I don't even know if this should be a rant or a good thing, but here it goes:

my boss smokes (legal) weed in the office, under the AC, so the smoke goes up and it spreads all over the place => we all get a bit stoned

update for all that care:
I have successfully gotten android studio to run on a chromebook.

don't ask how.

don't ask why.

don't even ask.

but know. it's working, and it was worth it.

I fucking hate python and myself even more. Python is easy they say, Python has nice syntax but fuck you . Fuck you seriously I cringe if I see non-c-like syntax. Every time I leave my comfort zone I get fucked over by damn semicolons. Fuck this imports i don't know your damn library. But god damn In far too advanced for hello world. There are two versions and the lib I want to use is incompatible? Well fuck me? That kind of shit never hit me on PHP. Damn me! Fuck you python. I want to know you but you fuck me harder than life. GEHÖRT? DU FICKST MICH HÄRTE ALS DAS LEBEN DU HURENSOHN!!!!

What is even your problem? Indentation? Well thank you for not having braces! I mean come on I try, I really do. I know you are different but every thing I want to learn about you is either for uber beginners or so advanced I don't even know what's going on. Do magical shit in a few lines? What the fuck is in those packages? A wizard full filling whishes like "plz make this work"?

But don't worry you cum snorting unicorn as much as I hate you I'm more mad about me for not being a descendant of fucking slytherin!

People who don't understand what I code or who don't even know what a freaking "code" is, telling me how to do my job!! Then my reaction will be like -

No Mr. Uber, I don't want anyone even my family to know when I am riding nor I want to know when they ride.

I now know another person's password without even wanting to.

He was sitting in the row in front of me, logging into our course page and then *brrrrraaaaapppp* - ran his index finger along the top number row and hit enter.

1234567890

I don't even know what to say.

So this is what I received from a very bad recruiter.

I don't even know why I covered the details, this deserves to be public xD

Also, consider that this message came with <no subject>..

Rant rant = new Rant
rant.isRant = false // !!!

I woke up this morning after not thinking about my code for a day, and realized i had a flaw in my validation design. I fixed it before opening my eyes.

It's kind of amazing how not thinking about a problem can help solve it. Even if you don't know it's there!

A recruiter asks for my LinkedIn credentials to save me from the hassle of updating my profile.
Is this the new 'send me your cv in .doc format so I can write whatever I want in there'?
I'm not even looking for a job and I don't know who you are! Fuck off!

Everyone in the class on the first day of college "I like programming, Java, C,C++". They don't even know that JavaScript and Java are different. Now I have to work with them on projects for 2 years. 😭
P.S. First Rant!

During a random meeting for a project:

PM: We'll need you to learn Go for this project. It says you know python in your job skills, so it should be easy.
Me: Uh, hiiii. I'm in security, not development. Can't help you, I really shouldn't even be here.
PM: I think Go has security built-in, does that help?
Me: ... I don't know, you need a developer.
PM: Do you know any Go people?
Me: I think that's something you should know.
- Silence enters the room -
PM: Yes perhaps, but you don't know anyone?

Fucking wat?

I have no idea what I'm doing.

!rant

I joined last night, this place its just insane, I don't even know how I managed to go through life without it... This is it, I found my place on earth; devRant...

WHOOO!!!

When your classmates don't even know how to code HTML and CSS effectively but they want to learn how to hack...

They think hacking is about breaking into other people's computers and stuff... sigh... the people I have to deal with...

The company i work for has a jenkins server (for people that don't know jenkins, it's an automated build service that gets the latest git updates, pulls them and then builds, tests and deploys it)

Because it builds the software, people were scared to update it so we were running version 1.x for a long time, even when an exploit was found... Ooh boy did they learn from that...

The jenkins server had a hidden crypto miner running for about 5 days...

I don't know why we don't have detectors for that stuff... (like cpu load being high for 15 minutes)

I even tried to strengthen our security... You know basic stuff LIKE NOT SAVING PASSWORDS TO A GOOGLE SPREADSHEET! 😠

But they shoved it asside because they didn't have time... I tried multiple times but in the end i just gave up...

SNOW!! LOADS OF SNOW AND MORE TO COME OVERNIGHT!

YAYYYYYY!!!!!

I know I sound childish. I don't care. Nothing brings me as much sincere joy as loads of snow or even blizards.

Neighbor: So what do you do for work?

Me: I'm a software engineer.

Neighbor: Oh I don't even know what that means. What exactly do you do?

Me: I write code for Fortune 500 companies while sitting on my couch in my underwear.

I'M FUCKING SICK OF HOLDING MY SELF TO DON'T MAKE OTHERS LOOK LIKE STUPID, I DON'T GIVE A FUCK ANYMORE ,NEXT YEAR IS MY TIME TO STAND AND LET PEOPLE KNOW WHO I AM. IF YOU FUCKERS CANT ACKNOWLEDGE THAT EVEN THOUGHT THIS COMPANY'S PRODUCT ISN'T SOFTWARE BUT YOU ARE FUCKING WASTING A GOLDEN RESOURCE ( DEV TEAM ) WITH FUCKING USELESS CRUDS AND USELESS SITES NO ONE FUCKING CARES ABOUT I'M GONNA LEAVE.

Once one of my coworkers tried to prank me while i was afk and changed a line in my code.
Good old habits of mine instantly realized the file's unsaved status and i could ctrl+z without even knowing someone edited my code.

Don't mess with a developer. We know our shit.

!Rant
You know one of the things I love about this community is?
We have such a diverse group of people and even when those who don't speak English natively, they try to on the app as much as possible keeping it consistent. Even when they make some mistakes, no one's a dick about it (from what I've seen), which is awesome!

Biggest distraction while coding?

When a colleague (or even worst, your boss) decide to staring at your monitor...

WTF
I don't know you guys, but I suddenly become disable and not capable of using a keyboard.
Leave me f*king alone!!!

!rant

Yesterday a friend of mine asked if I could help her with an assignment. The goal was writing shortest path agorithm in excel. I told her I don't know excel or VB but I will look into it. I didn't even know that we can code in excel 😅 After 1,5 hours of research and coding I writed a well documented code that does the job (with n^2 complexity of course). I feel VERY motivated after this. Because I did well job at an unexperienced environment with a language that I don't know!

Tldr: my new favorite ide is excel.

What manner of imbecile writes a password reset function that passes the email and password as god damn query parameters, in the email link....

After I showed my private desk last already, here still my place at work. Meanwhile I don't even know how to program productively with less than three monitors under Windows.
But now you know one of our wonderful corporate wallpapers. And yes, my desktop is always so empty, that's no fake.

I honestly don't get too mad when people aks me to do things like install programs for them. This is not my dayjob, but when you think of it, they're right when they say "you are a programmer so you must know how to do that". We do know how to do that. When you have a question about plants and you know a farmer, you are going to ask the farmer, even though he is not a gardener. He will know. Just as we know how to use computers very well.

So, apparently we had this important meeting with a client offsite this morning, I was "told" yesterday but nobody thought of creating a calendar event or sharing emails about it. I forgot, I don't even know the address or the hour.

My boss and this sneaky front ender came by at 11am joking about me not remembering.

Me: wow, I forgot. If it isn't on the calendar I don't even know it exists.

Turned to my screen and got back to work.

Fuck this shit.

17 minutes without single break. That was longest nightmare for me. I had to write 6 lines of code... You know how that feels. My fingers were bleeding and my eyes were burning. Oh maan, I don't even want to remember that hard days.

12:30pm - I can't code any more, what does this function even do?
12:45pm - What's a function?
12:59pm - I still don't know what a function is
01:00pm - *Eats Lunch*
01:05pm - My code makes perfect sense

Let's do photorealism they said,
It'll look beautiful they said,
...
...
...
NO!
Fuck it, we're going with low poly. I'm not rendering one fucking tree, for three god damn hours!
(That's presuming that it doesn't crash during that period)

And yes I know it doesn't actually look that photorealistic, but hey, give me a break I just started. Plus I don't even wanna know how long it would take to render if it was done to look really fancy.

Customer: We don't know what we want, but we want it yesterday.
Sales: No problem.
Me: WTF?
I'm not even mad or stressed anymore. You didn't ask me before, so why should I bend and break, so that you don't have to deal with staving the customer. Most of the time, he changes his requirements or is the bottleneck himself, anyway.

My sleep times are fucked.
I don't even know how to fix them anymore.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯

You know what really, really sucks about my school? Rant#00

I'm in my last year now and they removed one CS/IT lesson. Now I have two fucking 45min lessons (instead of three) of learning what I'm actually interested in.

Even worse: They don't provide and LK ("Leistungskurs" == advanced course) for CS/IT. Not like for Maths, English, German - okay but LATIN AND SPORT? Wtf
And this school calls themselves a MINT-school (Maths, IT, Natural Sciences, Technology).

EVEN WORSE: The 12th graders now don't even have a basic course CS/IT.

Fuck you school.

I'm OK with C language, but I refuse to learn Shell. My co-workers who use shell don't talk to anyone and look like zombies. Hell no. I don't even know their names after working 2 months together. Fire me.

I think my biggest problem is not being able to let go.

I love this product and believe in it 100%, but I CANT FUCKING STAND ANOTHER MINUTE WORKING WITH THESE FUCKING CLUELESS CLOWNS WHO ARE GOING TO DRIVE IT TO THE FUCKING GROUND!!!!!

...you know what? fuck 'em, I meanwhile reap $400+ monthly checks from Udemy, while our "best startup / amazing startup / omg wow lol i'm a fucking idiot" has earned a TOTAL of $200 in the past FUCKING YEAR

YOU FUCKING CLOWNS GET YOUR HEAD ON STRAIGHT OR I WILL TAKE THIS COMPANY OVER AND CONTROL ALL DECISIONS, IGNORING ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING YOU THINK IS 'WISE' YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT 'WISE' IS YOU FUCKS!!!!!!!

WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO? YOU DON'T EVEN REMEMBER YOUR BITBUCKET CREDENTIALS!!!! YOU CAN'T EVEN REVOKE MY ACCESS

AAAAAAAGGGGGG YOU FUCKING CLOWNS GODDAMMIT THIS IS SO FUCKING FRUSTRATING I CANT EVEN I NEED TO SMASH SOMETHING TO GET THE RAGE OUTAASDASDJKLFJ;KLAFDSJKL;AFDSJKL;AFES L;KADFS AF LSAFS DHI;A EGWHIOAEGW IOAEGWHIO

That's it. That's all I have for my home server setup. I don't even know why we have that sticky red thing, but today it came handy. And now I can SSH anytime I want, it's never going get shutdown 😂

This might actually be my first real rant.

Whatever fucking cockgoblin decided that making dynamics GP so fucking confusing needs to suck a big bag of dicks. I'm so fucking tired of having to google every damned table name and column name because nothing makes any motherfucking sense.

Am I supposed to instinctively know what PM20201 does? What data it holds? I don't mind reading documentation. But it's hard to even know where to start when the shitbird API and database are more complicated than calculating orbital fucking decay.

I am done. Fuck you gp. Fuck you and your nonsense. I guess our sales people don't get to know when an invoice was paid.

I've pretty much completed my profile here on devrant... I'm just 3000 or so away from my final item

I don't even know what it is exactly.

Boy do I love when Snapchat sends me a snap telling me happy father's day.
I don't even know who my father is but thanks for the reminder assholes.
I wonder what dipshit thought that sending everyone on Snapchat messages during all sorts of holidays that not everyone celebrates was a good idea.

This girl I don't even know much sent me this code. She is not a coder and has never written any code before by the way.

if(true)
{
temp=abhinav;
abhinav= v bad;
v bad= temp;
}

Is this what a modern day love note look like? 🤔🤔

What the fuck man.
Why even I am working with this assholes.
Yesterday,Our technical support guy reinstalled windows(I don't mess up with technical issues because then it will be my part time job,so I show that I don't know anything about hardware).
He installed fucking 32 bit window,He was trying to installed 64 bit version thunderbird.

He wasted my whole day.

You guys wanna know why I rage so much at the 🤡🤡🤡's I work with?

I shit you not, this is a ticket in our "to do" section of our Jira.

what even is ticket linking??!?!?

what even are tickets??!?!?!

or better yet.... what even the fuck is jira?!?!?! I've only been using it for over a year, give me some time to figure out how to use it!!!!!!

I don't know, maybe i'm the asshole. But at least I don't feel like a 🤡

The hell, why'd I write an add-on for a system I don't know as well while I could just implement a PHP version easily!?

Even if it is just to fucking prove that this can easily be done in PHP!

Client: I don't know programming. But I think you should make the button more fancy?

Me: ... I am not Harry Potter, don't imagine programming like magic. And you ain't even a programmer...

Daily conversation with our precious client

I know, I know, "OMG ppl are wrong the internet."

Even so, I don't think I'll ever fully get past the continuously lowering barrier to entry on sites like medium and free code camp, and at times even alligator.io. The information routinely ranges from wildly inaccurate to dangerously wrong with few checks and no peer review can't be good for the industry in the long run.

Starting to yearn for the old days when the biggest risk was skilled plagiarism.

Windows, if you can't even do as much as mounting network shares *after* the network comes up, don't you fucking dare to tell me that I can't disable my firewall. Some people may actually know what they're doing and maintain that elsewhere, you know?

This is response I got from my ex tech lead in a company that I left six months ago..

Btw account is registered on my private email and has admin access to Slack full of confidential files.

Don't even know why I worked there..

Installing Unreal plugins from github be like:
clone, try to build
unreal: nah
me: can you tell me why?
unreal: nah
me: please?
unreal: nah
...
me: With the powers of MS VS I command you, tell me why the fuck you aren't building!?!
unreal: yeah I need that dependency in this plugin fo rmotion tracking
me: we don't do motion tracking *comment it out*
unreal: there I build it.

... I feel like I was a Karen, went to talk to the manager (VS) who gave me a proper explanation to why the employee had to behave this way.

Fuck CSS! I can't even... I don't know... I don't get it..

I hate being so insecure. I don't start developing an idea because I think I won't be able to do it, I don't code together with someone who is better than me because I think they'll make fun of me or think I'm doing it wrong, I don't speak up in class even though I probably, definitely, know the answer. I feel like I'll never get anywhere if I remain this way. Anyone have some advice? Thanks

I only see rants here about people who post to StackOverflow. I use it a lot but all questions i wanted to know were usually answered so I just had to search for them. I never posted something there and don't even have an account. Anyone else doing the same thing?

!rant

Stupid customer insists that the website must have the *same fucking UI* even when seen on mobile.
Where the fuck are your eyes, don't you see that a big complex table just doesn't fit the fucking screen of your crappy phone??? Of course it needs to be layed out differently.

I don't know if I should politely reply "no", or just don't give a fuck, deploy it, and then let him realize how much he is stupid.

Went to a job interview for ASP.net even though I don't know ASP.net since they asked me to come. I got the job since I was the only candidate that knew what OOP is.
I don't really want to work there.

Infra engineers should be war veterans

I literally spent 4-5 days on CI, DevOps and Intune

The worst part is you don't even know what will happen until the CI runs

Getting called by my dad "how do I make a local network with my phone?"
"I don't fricking know, I don't have your phone"
"Well you are the tech guy"
Really now?

My creativity blackout is so great that I don't even know what to rant about.

There's a guy who uses a small electric scooter to speed across the office. It's less than 30 meters to the other side of the office.

Guy is going to hurt someone at some point. I don't even know the guy but I can already tell he's a dick.

Manager: yo I need a time line for this shit.
Me: I don't know how long it takes.
Manager: tell me how long it takes.
Me: I can tell you what can be done in next couple hours. I don't even know what will happen tomorrow.
Manger: now tell me this time shit.
Me: .......

Seriously, dear fellow ranter. How do you estimate timeline? Your timeline is changing.

So I finally got my senior project approved by my school's assistant principal (the one who deals with every student's project) and he said that the three forms of evidence I suggested were not enough. A quick summary of my project: I'm supposed to make a game engine in Java before April of 2017. Every student needs 3 forms of evidence that they did the project so I suggested screenshots of my work, the finished source code, and pictures of me actually working on it. In addition to all of that I would have a ton of documentation and sample projects to test different features of the engine. Well, he doesn't really understand that for a high school student, that's already enough work for a couple of years and thinks I need more evidence. So what does he do?

He requires me to find at least 5 people to test the engine and complete a survey about it. This normally wouldn't be a problem, except I'm a high school student and don't know more than 2 people who are fluent enough in Java to work on a game. And, I have to finish the project before January now to give the people enough time to work with it.

Long story short, I'm not even out of high school and I'm already experiencing the struggles of dealing with non-technical people.

That feeling when you get job offers because programming is a mere interest in LinkedIn. I don't even know any advanced languages yet!

Holy fuck I look forward to this career!

When I think how big companies like Google, Amazon, Netflix manage all their services so well (all those load balancings, caching, etc. ), I feel so bad I don't know anything about it. I don't even know how people decide which technology to use. E.g., for a scalable Web app, one can use Node.js or maybe Django (but not definitely Flask, I suppose). Also, which DBMS to use, how to write flawless APIs. You see, I am just beginning my career. Any recommendations (books, videos, etc.) that teach these things? Please help.

Me: So... do you want a website, right?
Client: Yes!
Me: ...but you don't know how it should look, right?
Client: Ehm... correct.
Me: ...and you don't even know what color should I use?
Client: Exactly!
Me: ...and of course you can't link me a website you like which I can base on.
So now I have to invent something randomly that somehow will be the exact same thing you would like to see. Nice.

I am glad to see all the pent up anger toward project managers. I quietly rage against them daily. I have even made up acronyms like "LIS" for "like I said", "DBR" for "Drive by requests" and "OSR" for "one sentence requirements". I write them on my white board and the don't know what it means.

Zoom was dead before it even took grip.

Fml. Use jitsi or some other real stuff.

<deity>, I don't care, choose Skype, there we know that security is well established and it's watching workers are well payed (US Court case for proper work classification).

Stages of being a self-taught developer.
first: you think you have taught yourself enough to apply for a job.

second: A Company actually believes you. Evidence? They hire you.

Third: You realize you don't know anything.Evidence?
Me in my head
I thought I was good at this. I don't know anything. I should probably switch back to nutrition(my previous job).Why am I struggling with this? Who even struggles this much with APIs??

when you run lighthouse on some tech "guru" with 50K subscriber's website and can laugh when they don't even have alts on images

hahahahahahahaha clowns

to be brutally honest, you need to know the basics before attempting to teach anyone anything, i don't care how boring it is

🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡

I like obj c more than I like Swift. I don't know why and even tho it is the same API I find obj c more intuitive and useful since it is a strict superset of C and C is very useful.

Not to say I don't like Swift. I like it. I just have something against mobile OS APIs really

I'm taking a vacation in two weeks to hopefully recover from this burnout. I don't know if I can make it that long.

I've been trying to work on a ticket for the past two days. I don't even know what the ticket says. Just something about optimizing the Google pay object api. idk. I just can't. I need to have it done today though. Bleh.

People have been making fun of me for not having WhatsApp. They say that I am 'behind in technology', 'old fashioned' and that I don't know anything about computers and modern technology because I don't use WhatsApp.

They even kinda make fun of my family. One other family who made fun of us owns both Google Home and Amazon Echo.

What the heck is even going on anymore?

Anyway I am gonna put lights on a fez and wear it to school on monday.

*sips tea*

!rant
If you don't even know what MySQL is, fuck off and let me do my job. Don't insist that you can't find the solution to the problem. That's why I'm here. Your incompetence and persistence are slowing me down and if you really want your stuff to be done on time, don't even dip your fingers into my codes. I know you may think that I need help, but your help is useless if you have zero knowledge and can't even understand the solutions given in stack overflow. I'm fine doing this on my own, so fuck off. Just. fuck. off.

A lot of things dev say are true, but this one I don't believe as much:
Many devs say that it's important for everybody to learn a bit of a basic programming language, to learn about computers and how programs are made. I disagree, I think that instead people should learn *how* things work. Ex, in my school people always use a VPN to get around the proxy. I don't care if they know basic statements, I think it's more important to learn how a VPN works. Most of them don't even know what VPN stands for. Am I the only one?

So yesterday I was testing my friend's app which as said by him is 100% okay.
I found 48 major bugs and reported him. His reaction was "Dude these are just minor issues and client don't even know about it. See there is some real bugs?"

RIP to the app developer and the client.

Any tips on nailing OOP design interview questions? This is a black hole, weak area for me, and I get absolutely no feedback on what I'm doing wrong.

I feel like most of it is because I *nothing* about what I'm asked to design.

And yes, I ask clarifying questions, list out use cases and constraints, identify nouns/verbs and map them to objects/methods - but these don't help with the overall *design* when you can't even grasp what the components are, nor which parts need extensibility.

Imagine you've *never* been inside a car, let alone even understand there's components to a car (you don't even know that cars have engines, or that they take fuel). Now imagine you're asked to design a car. It's just, silly.

Xcode storyboards

I can't do it justice by explaining how many times having the entire UI flow in one file has helped me.

Even for unexpected stuff, like an Android dev joining the team and needing to know the workflow of login / registration -> print screen the storyboard.

Manager asking for all the different possible paths through the app -> print screen the storyboard(s).

And then live rendering of custom components to be able to see them while playing with alignments.

While it has its bugs, and could have a few more features, it's too useful to ignore.

I know many iOS devs don't like it, and that's fine because I don't like them either and I don't hire them ;-)

I work for a programming / design studio / tech and new solution company. We do all kind of new tech inventions.
Everyone is a tech guru, except my boss who don't know one single programming language, don't know even how to format a pc, never finished his school..

The other day we asked me how to change his phone ringtone..

I'm absolutely loving the fact that my university is making me take their intro to programming course this fall when I've taken 5 programming classes in high school and already have intro to programming credits from a different university. Did I mention that I passed the AP Computer Science exam before taking even more courses? Do they not understand that I do in fact understand how to use recursion(the most advanced topic in their intro course) and don't need to spend a semester relearning what I already know? For Christ's sake they don't even get into OOP in that course.

IM DONE
BORED WITH WRITING CSS

Don't get me wrong. it's a beautiful styling language. I know how to use it, I've been even teaching it.

I'm just damn bored writing css
writing a ".", then a damn class name, "{}" and "color:shit"

BRO IM DONE

.ME{
STATUS: "DONE WITH WRITING CSS"
}

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Man Fuck time zones, I don't even know where I belong anymore while keeping track of all of them at once.
Fuck You In The Ass Time Zone

I don't know if this is happening to everyone, but attempting to download Android Studio right now sends me to a 404 page.

Android development is so fucking stupid that even trying to develop for them is fucking broken

WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK. What is this dude talking about?! What am I doing with my life?!?!
Test what? What do I have to do? I didn't study this. I don't know what this API thing is. My life sucks. My job sucks. I suck. I'm stupid, because apparently knowing who or what this API is is essential for being a normal part of society.
I don't even.. oh someone pls kill me.
(No I don't want a detailed explanation what I have to do - I know this is not google and i wont understand it anyways and my husband will torture me with it in the afternoon. Just some sympathy for a finance person who has to deal with this would be nice)

I label myself as a graphic designer. I can't even make a decent-looking logo for my portfolio. I know I don't need one but it's annoying.

One of my interviews....
Interviewer: Do you know the welknown hack that increases the speed of embedded tomcat two times than default??
Me: what?? it even exists???
interviewer: yes... it exists... I know it... normally I share the answers with the interviewees... are you interested to hear the hack???
Me: Hell yeah...
Interviewer: ohh no... I will not share with you...
me: whyyy???
interviewer: I don't like your current boss...
Me: Fuck my life(inaudible)... facepalm..

Don't know if I am experienced enough to give any advices but still:
1. Whenever doing freelance work, always take some advance payments, even its for your friends.
2. Use git even if you think it doesn't apply to you. I started really late.
3. Contribute to open source. You grow when the community grows.
4. Be humble even if you are the best there is!
5. Whenever you feel you are tired of this shit, remember why you started. Don't give up!

Most importantly, take time for yourself, family and friends. It won't be lines of code that you remember on your death bed!

Today morning my sales manager calls me and tells there is a bug in one of the integration module and he tells the client has called us yesterday pls come early to office today and fix it. I asked which end point they have issue, he replies I don't know. I don't know what is the bug where is the bug, but there is a bug when they send data to us, pls find and fix it before 11 am. The worst part of this is that integration module I never worked on and the person who developed it has left the company long before and there is no documentation. when I go to that folder I see many controllers and many end points. now how will I figure out the issue 😂 I don't even know the work flow of that integration. the bug reporter (my sales manager) don't even know at what end point what issue happened.

I wish I had programming friends in my life all I have are kids at middle school that dont know anything about programming and left alone to my mind about all the languages I know and I am left with home work that's like 9th grade math even though I'm in 8th annnd including science,English,And history PE don't mind but out of them all I wish I had programming friends yay 😒 looking forward towards 8th grade again 😒

Dude I want to ask you , It's possible for me to call myself as a software engineer if I always got a cancer when I try to create HTML template ? I'm suck as fuck on front-end, I can't even create a single HTML template even if you give me help with css framework. I don't know what to do with HTML and CSS, they're totally fucked up my life.

I don't even know what to say.

I've used a Mac for 2 months and already love it. I've been a Windows user for like 10+ years but holy fuck, Windows is a giant pile of flaming fucking trash. Looking back, I don't even know why I continued to use it after the launch of that absolutely abysmal "OS" they called Windows 8.

Call me crazy all you want, but I love my tangled mess of cords

Yeah yeah, I know, I know, wouldn't I just love a cordless setup and workspace ...

NO

Bluetooth devices are at best unreliable and at worst don't even work with Linux

I want to just be able to plug my shit in and work, not wait for everything to sync and hope I don't have connectivity issues

Call it living in the past all you want, I don't care. I love my cords

Fuck you and your bluetooth shit

Honestly, stripe support is the best I've ever dealt with and I wish others would be exactly the same.

No level 0 support agents that don't know what the fuck they are talking about nor know their product to begin with, but instead every single person you chat with knows the API and even implementation details, just such a pleasant experience.

W8 wut?! O.o
How the hell is someone gonna hack my computer using calculator?!
Also WTH?! I don't even know what that built in admin BS is in win10, let alone how to log in with this o.O

Sololearn has probably the dumbest community I've ever seen...

I know that there are lot of beginners who just started learning programming, but if you can't even use the app, I don't think they will be able to learn programming.

Also all these little kiddies who want to get some badass hackers but don't even know how to do a fucking course (There are lots of questions like "Where can I learn HTML" while they are right in the fucking app, like holy sheeet).

Sometimes I browse the Q&A just because there so funny and dumb questions. Really amusing!

I have a dev job and I earn good. More than enough at this age when I'm single.

My brother lost his business and has been sitting idle for more than 3 months now. Family gets cash but brother has nothing to do. He's into business and I don't even know what's going on in his life. I can help him with money and all but no idea how to ask, I'm younger and it will require a lot amount of guts for me to him, even when I ask I don't think he will tell me straight.

Just realized my handwriting skill is so bad -_-. i don't know how my classmate can write that good even we are dealing with keyboard everydamn class and homework.

I took two days to modify a KSP mod for a joke...

I don't even know C#....

What am I doing...

How am I supposed to know which fr*cken whitespaces they are…

The tooltips don't even display!

Plus, emojis get descriptive names in their tooltips. These characters' tooltips are JUST THE CHARACTER ITSELF.

The saddest and funniest side of our industry is (atleast in India): someone works hard and makes it to the best colleges, do great projects on AI, ML; get a good score on Leetcode, codechef; gets a job in FAANG-like companies...

Changes colors in CSS and texts in HTML.

And, why is there so much emphasis on Data Structures and Algorithms? I mean, a little bit is fine, but why get obsessed with it when you never write algorithms in production code?

Now, don't tell me that, we use libraries and we should know what we are doing, no, we don't use algorithms even in libraries.

Now, before you tell me that MySQL uses B-tree for maintaining indexes, you really don't need to solve tricky questions to be able to understand how a B-tree works.

It's just absurd.

I know how to little bit on how design scalable systems.
I know how to write good code that is both modular and extensible.
I know how to mentor interns and turn them into employees.
I know how to mentor junior engineers (freshers) and help them get started.
Heck I can even invert a binary tree.

But some FAANG company would reject me because I cannot solve a very tricky dynamic programming question.

I think I need some "programming detox", a couple weeks away from any kind of software development. It's just not fun anymore, I have lost my drive, I'm lazy to learn new stuff, I never finish my projects, I don't even know if I enjoy web development anymore.

Actually, I'm kind of lost on what to do with my life.

I don't want to become a full time web developer because it's boring, it's always the same shit: write frontend with some sort of framework, design database, write backend, rinse and repeat. There's nothing new, all projects seem to have the same requirements.

I don't want to get into machine learning and whatnot because it's a lot of math and theory, I like math but idk if I would like doing that all day. Same goes for basically anything related to research.

Low level stuff: on paper I like it, it's interesting, but I'm too lazy to learn and whenever I come up with a robotics project I end up making a shopping list and forgetting about it because either 1) stuff is too expensive or 2) I can't make the parts I want without spending a lot of money on tools. Also from what I can see in school, VHDL is boring af.

I just don't know what I like anymore, nothing gets me excited, not even video games. I used to like csgo but I just suck at it and I only play it because there's nothing else to play and deep down I still have a little bit of hope of becoming a decent player, even though I know I never will.

I just don't know what I want out of life. Sometimes I just like having tons of school assignments (especially calculus ones) just to keep me busy.

I don't know if some people are incompetent or just simply dumb.
If you're not sure what to do, ask.
If every guideline for each workflow has been uploaded, read and watch.

Don't wait until the very last minute.
Don't even act innocent when I ask and you don't even know wtf I'm talking about.
Don't "disappear" and come back when the deadline is in few days.

Just stop torturing me with your horrible work ethics.

First day as an intern: when I was introduced to everyone, some say they don't even want to know me and stay the fuck away because they don't care.

Why am I so stupid? I still don't understand programming after three years of studying on my own. I even went to a programming boot camp and got a c.s Degree. Just tell me that I'm not a fit for programming so I can quit. It seems to me like I don't know anything, I feel like I can't learn for shit. What am I missing, why can't I write code on my own? Why do I always need people held my hand? Why I don't understand anything?

I previously said I had no issues with dev teachers, but in fact I DO have them..
I want to get two things off my chest..

First: Last year I waited like 6 MONTHS to get my grades!! 6 FUCKING MONTHS!! And I wasn't even the only one who didn't get their grades!!
Second: Those dev teachers in high school are actually teachers who normally teach about physics, math and we even have a teacher who normally teaches history!! HOW THE FUCK AM I GOING TO GET A PROPER EXPLANATION ABOUT THE STUFF I SHOULD LEARN IF YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW IT YOURSELF!!

In defense for my teachers:
After 6 months of long waiting, I got my grades and they all were (and still are) an A!! Happy as fuck!!
My teachers at least TRY their very best to teach me something I don't know about the basic stuff.. And that's worth something right..

Well... Well... What a multi-talented personality...
Every connection I see on LinkedIn has these buzz words in their tag line: AI/ML, Cryptocurrency, Blockchain.
This guy even has Smart City...!!!
Don't know how many of them are legit... I just don't understand each of these techs are so vast... Still people manage to get expert in all of them in just few days... What's the secret...?

I seriously don't get it guys, can you answer to this post with your job and the os you use?
I'm a games developer and I'm happy on Windows,I couldn't even imagine switching to Linux or Mac, but everybody's on either a Mac or Linux.
I have to know why.

Algorithms teacher: I don't know how to work this thing. (computer) ... Students constantly have to go up front and help him do basic computer stuff. Even worse, he types with two fingers! Why education system must you suck so bad???

Swag idea: Rubber ducks with the DevRant face on them instead of a ducks face. No beak. Just a freaky slash where the beak should be. 👍🏻
The whole duck can even be the speech bubble orange!

I don't know about anyone else but I'd buy the shit out of this!

What exactly is a junior developer?

I mean what it depends on?

I ask because some colleagues have told I'm not junior but I have a junior role at my company

I don't even care and I don't like these classifications of devs but when someone asks me if I'm junior I actually don't know what to answer

I thought it was getting crazy when I read about ninja developer role but let's not talk about it

PS: I have been coding for 5 years now if it matters

Man emotions are funny
One day you're up, one day you're down

Sometimes I don't even know why I'm still trying anymore. Just to waste more time

Deciding whether to stick to being a web developer, or switch to something else

(thinking more like rocket software, or something with security (but maybe sticking with web), or some other cool sh#t

I don't know yet, what I do know is even when I'm creating an erp system, I find it very unsatisfying

"I helped create the software on that rocket"
Or
"that hospital uses the system I've helped to create"

Sounds a lot more satisfying than,
"that company uses my 'warehouse resources manager'/'webshop'/'planning system'

But then again I don't know, I now have a stable job, know what to do and know the language we use.

Epic fail. I use a sleep timer in my music player and it occasionally fails to stop and clear the actual timer. It even perpetuates through when I actually turn off my phone, which is rather quite impressive. This is what I find when I turn my phone back on after the weekend. I don't even know how it's possible to have still been going when my phone is off... 🤔

Rant

Arg! Stack overflow why are you so full of argumentative dumb wits. I post serious question for a serious answer and what do I get? People who apparently know my situation better than me and have decided what I want to be done shouldn't be done. They don't even know what I am making. Either answer the question or move on!!!

Whaaaat? Now i can't even say in public that i would like one slave robot in the future because it would sound too nasty or pollitically incorrect?

Don't know about you but... python sounds more nasty to me...

Some days ago I was talking to the main IT guy at my new job, we still work on different dept so I don't know anything about him.

As I start come general chat I begin to realize He don't know what a repository is, what the GIT for github mean or even nothing about the ancient CVS.

I'm starting to worry about where am I.

Complaining about people not understanding basic python syntax but I also don't know even know how to use fucking scratch.

I have been working with git for years now, and I could never work on a project (regardless if big or small) without it. Its great.
However, just a couple of days ago I learned about the git flow branching model.
Even tho I also worked with branching on a daily basis for years, I did not know about this model. And I have to admit: Its awesome.
If you don't know it, I highly recommend you to look it up. It really improves the already organized workflow with git even more. :)

I don't know why, but in DevRant's weekly rant, I always find a word that I cannot understand. Even google translate is not that helpful in those cases. for this rant, the word is "Procrastination" :-/
Why some English words have to be so terrifyingly hard? These words always make me stay away from writing for the weekly rants :-/

best ad services to use? I really don't want to use google. even if they paid double, I wouldn't use them. anyone know? I'm talking about for websites and/or apps

Hello, I'm so nerd.
I want to build my avatar here. And even don't know what is a 'Rant' 😅.
But, I can tell a little story...
I'm learning js with an online teacher who has the most adorable Argentinian accent and now I talk like him.

I think I might actually have an addiction to code :S. I can't go a day without writing something just get a feeling niggling at me to write even if I don't know what to. I just opened a terminal on the nearest computer to write 'ls' and had such a relieving feeling, this can't be healthy.

You know when you get blocked from company's webmail, from their slack and everything they have... but they don't have the courage to tell you "you're fired"?

Well, now I do.

Almost a year working for someone, and they just locked me out - not even a "bye sucker!" or anything.

Why does it feel like nobody uses D?
I love it. It combines the best bits of C++, Java, Ruby and even some Python. It still is C ABI and C++ ABI (ish) compatible. It can do everything you need it to. It's not limited like Java. It feels cleaner than C. I LOVE IT. But I don't understand why there's not much going on about it. Is it because it's not 100% stable yet? I don't know. AAAARGH

Sometimes I feel I should switch to android from web even though I don't know anything about it but just feels that it's interesting morebthen web.

But then again I have those thoughts that jack of all and king of nothing is pretty hurtful in career building. Isn't it?

The meeting I will go in few minutes. Our app went in production 2 weeks ago, the managers invite us (devs) to have a drink with 'important' people I don't even know. We will celebrate the success of the project, after 6 months of pressure with everyone telling we will fail and that we are losers. Hypocrite meeting.

I don't know what's wrong with me..

Within one day I basically lost interest in everything I do. I just don't see the point of all this anymore.

And the bad thing is, that I don't even know where that comes from so suddenly, everything is going fine, but still.. Life just feels like pain at the moment.

Don't want do drag down someone else with me and I sincerely apologise if it's too late to mention it at this point, just hope that maybe someone here can understand what's going on or give me some advice on how to fix my situation.

Whenever I go back to Ruby I feel the excitement flowing through my body I don't even know why. If only Ruby can be used to write proper modern mobile apps. No no no Rubymotion.

As a fresh graduate in Hong Kong, majoring in information engineering. I still don't know how to explain what my major related to... And don't even expect me to know any node , react , angular, docker, etc...

!dev

There are two weeks left until the PhD application results are published. But I'm having such awful nervous breakdowns. I don't even know, if it's anxiety or if I'm literally dying inside from something else. From an almost-heart-attack today when I got a trivial and unrelated bad-news email, to keep having weird dreams about things like end of the world and post-apocalyptic life, or being jumpy all the time.

... And it's not like it's life or death, I know that. I know that I can do other things if this doesn't stick. I know things will workout the way they should; I know all of those. But there's just something destroying my physical and mental health right now, and I don't even know if it's just the anxiety for the next big step in my career, or something else, or how I should deal with it.

... Anyways, amannoyed.

You! Yes you.
I'm sure you know a lot of things I don't, even tho I have a pretty decent education and job.
Universal justice wouldn't be that I get fired and you get my job. You getting a (better) job would be universal justice.
So I wish you best of luck.

I don't know if it's just me but if you sign up for Dashpass and then cancel during the month, it refunds the entire subscription...

Even when I've used all the benefits...

Seems like the devs forgot an if statement...

I was just hit by this wave of depression. I don't even know why to be honest, but somehow it feels like things aren't going how they should

This sucks man

I hate when people use error, bug and glitch interchangeably. They are all different things people. Stop using such technical words if you don't even know their meanings.

What is this I don't even know. Why does it exist? Why?
.d-flex
.d-inline-flex
.d-sm-flex
.d-sm-inline-flex
.d-md-flex
.d-md-inline-flex
.d-lg-flex
.d-lg-inline-flex
.d-xl-flex
.d-xl-inline-flex

*Task too simple but says "discuss about it"*

*I'm weary of its simplicity, it seems deceptive*

Me: hey, about this thing to discuss, what about it? Is there something I need to know about that I don't?

Boss: read the code

*I'm now even more weary of the task*

I've been on holiday for almost 2 months now... I don't even know what a sleeping pattern is anymore😭😭

I have school tomorrow... I'll look like a zombie during orientation😂

Received this from a magazine in the mail today and i don't even know where to begin with this so much fail...OK Vista that's where I'll begin...Windows Vista...

My family don't even know what dev is, one day my mom sat with me and I was working on my project using sublime. She watching monokai theme and asked me:
Why are these words in different color everywhere?
And I told her that which color means its a variable and which color means its a function, constant.
even though she didn't get a thing but I told her

The only thing we can do is make a joke about the other bots that are not always in their own mind or if it's just an issue for them and then the other one ☝️ and then you don't get them in your mail to the right place for a long list of all that people you know you are not so far out and it's a joke that is why you haven't even paid for it and it's a lot easier for them but it's just like 👍 is not just the way of things like 👍 is the one ☝️ you don't have it on it but you can't even get the word for that one ☝️ or something that's what it looks it up 🆙 is it a lot better then it's not the one ☝️ thing that you don't have it on it or so you know it looks bad it's a joke it's a bad joke and you can't find a way you don't have a lot to me but I don't know 🤷‍♂️ or you want me to be like 👍 but you do not have any more than me I don't know 🤷‍♂️ but that's what I'm talking you know that I'm going through the whole time I'm going through the wrong 😑 thing I've been to you to see if this one ☝️ or I just want you to do something like 👍

Do you just click the mouse wheel to close a tab even though it's a pain on your finger? I don't know where I got this habit from. I'm too lazy to point the cursor to the X button.

you know, i've got 5K+ in cash savings before i would even need to dip into "long term" retirement funds

and other than the food and the drink, i don't spend anything (can scrape by on 1-2K per month)

so fuck it, i'm going to enjoy the amazing weather that is everywhere in europe right now

if companies are going to be assholes, i am too

because in the long run i know my skills and vast competances are valuable

companies can hire the cheap clueless scrub in the shortrun

but i know i'll win in the long run when they realize who they are trying to hire does not exist

what's even one year of being unemployed against a lifetime of opportunity and projects? nothing.

People that contact me through LinkedIn trying to sell me some marketing shit or asking me about some issue with the service provided by a company that I started but with which I don't have any relation whatsoever since October 2016, which by the way is pretty clearly stated in my LinkedIn profile,…

DON'T YOU KNOW HOW TO FUCKING READ??? Stop pestering me about that company. I don't have anything to do with it, I can't do anything about it and, even if I could, I DON'T FUCKING WANT TO.

When random connections endorse your Skills on LinkedIn en masse. -_-

I don't even really know you...

-Week before final project presentation.
Classmate: Dude, can you help me for our project? Its website.

Me: Sure, what you used?

Classmate: ASP. NET

Me: Ok....I don't know much about it but let me see.

Classmate: No, I just want your help with flowchart, sequence diagram and use case diagram.

Me: ..................
*in mind: how the fuck m supposed to do that shit I don't even know much about your website*

(still I drew few basic flowcharts for them)

I wrote a blogging platform around 3.5yrs back in PHP. My friend uses that, and apparently wants me to update the code. To which I refused saying that I am too busy. But the real reason is that it is one of the purest form of cancerous shit I ever wrote. I can't even look at that code now. Its like abandoning your own child, because it is too ugly... Here's a snapshot of the code, I don't even know what this does anymore..

Moral: Don't give your code to your friend no matter how shitty it is, you will end up providing lifetime support for it.

I'm gonna kill him...no don't defend him, you lot are meant to be on my side!

IT'S FUCKING HUNTING SEASON.

I know, I know, you want context but I just can't now. I'm completely annoyed. Fuck data integrity, just duplicate rows randomly cos fuck you.

Work is about to turn into a murder mystery...without the mystery 😒

He doesn't even work here anymore, hope he forgets his password and gets locked out of everything he has.

Woosah....

Here, in place I live, almost everyone use windows and I think people don't even know any other OS exists. Whenever anyone have problem in they computer and ask me to fix it, some other guy approaches and says "Let me fix it, he has no idea about computers!" This pisses me off a little bit!

We want to hire new dev, so, these MBA guys have a brilliant plan. Give him access to our complete repository and let him go through the full fucking code and *access it*. I don't even know what to explain here..

How fucked up are you,
when your vp of engineering doesn't even know how to show phpinfo webpage to test server setup.
and..
change ode directly in production server,
then messed up and using excuse :
" I don't know because i am a frontend developer "

Then why you become a VP of Engineer !

I don't know if I can be developer anymore. After I went to high school (one of the best in Poland) everything seems to collapse. My grades are poor. Especially on math and physics, but surprisingly everything Computer Science related is better than average. I also know how to code and I don't struggle with math used while programming. Heck, I even made my first game at the age of 10 in Visual Basic. I just love programming, computer science, etc, but after I went to high school I just don't know anymore...